#organ accumulator
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thinking about the air quality inside an iterator... like... theyre filled of miles and miles of mycelial network you know theres spores literally fucking Everywhere. and if you subscribe to the headcanon that iterators are really warm and humid inside ohh my god. i hope ancient technicians were wearing like respirators or something good lird
#hc that all the non-organic surfaces in iterators are self-cleaning somehow! or that there are creatures inside that clean#the spore dust that inevitably accumulates everywhere#text#rain world
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I could, perhaps, work faster if I were not lying down. However—and this is important—it is essential to my brain function to remain horizontal at this time.
#my hands are unionizing#they’re organizing a protest against harsh working conditions#the tiny computer they work on would also like a seat at the table to discuss the horrendous amount of screen time accumulated#brain holds firm that this is the only way to profit#we expect the stalemate to last quite awhile
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I spent the entire day rearranging my tiny place to make space for my new roommate. Place is still a terrifying mess, but at least I took most of the garbage out and all the books are back on the shelf.
I am so tired. Not even physically but why is cleaning and organizing just so mentally exhausting.
#I feel like my head is about to fall off#d'you think it might be because I haven't really eaten a lot today#ugh. whatever. at least I managed to deal with some of the accumulated garbage heaps#I'm gonna go get some takeout and deal with the rest tomorrow#how do people manage to keep a clean and organized home
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another day of trying and failing to not preemptively ruin things before i even know how they’re gonna turn out

#i really thought i would be more excited today than i am. and i can’t tell if it’s because we waited so long or if the tour is still#annoying me or if it’s already seeing people say it is indeed like vide noir or if it’s just the accumulation of a really bad week#but good god i didn’t think it would feel like this. i’m gonna maybe turn on an old show i used to be obsessed with and clean and organize#things today and we’ll just have to see at midnight. also forgot to make anything for dean’s birthday rip.
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found out that Quigley, one of my first lore dragons, has an unexalted grandchild as of this week, and the person who had him was kind enough to let me buy him. welcome to Acuity Ridge Clan, Elogast!
#flight rising#acuity ridge clan#my lore#oc quigley#oc elo#i need to organize my ac ridge lore into era-based tabs i think#i'm starting to accumulate a lot of children and grandchildren of the original clan members and it's a little sad to just have them confine#to the nursery forever#they should get to grow up and get jobs i think
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do you have a side account for other doodles or do you just have your yakuza accounts
i have many side accounts and theyre all for different fandoms i like so yes but do i have one central art account. Lol.
#snap chats#yeah no. no i dont LMAOOOO#thats kiiiiind of what my twitters meant for but. uh.#i get awkward bout posting art there that deviates from. whatever i mainly post bout at the time#like i post rgg on my twitter rn but once or twice i posted shadow and final fantasy art#but i felt so awkward i just. never did it again- esp since they received such low attention jveALVJAELKJ#and ik ik Post For Yourself Yadda Yadda but its always nice gettin encouragement but Moving On#if its art that deviates from the current franchise ive been posting about at the time#then i usually wait until ive accumulated a couple of pieces of art or like. i KNOW im gonna be locked in for a while to start posting ther#i get very awkward suddenly inflicting my new interests onto people. and thats why i like tumblr#whenever i feel myself begin to really like another thing i can just make a new blog and start anew#at the same time im not abandoning the other thing i like and i can keep em separate and not confuse anyone#but with twitter thaaatts like. a whole thing. i dont wanna make another email im too lazy#plus getting noticed on there is a LOT more difficult compared to tumblr- like once you have attention then youre set#but starting's annoying so. lol#all of this to say i mostly just keep a lot of my doodles to myself since theyre not fandom related and im too lazy for a central art acc#or at the very least its not for a fandom i have an account for/ive drawn enough of to warrant air dropping onto twitter like a nuke#again i feel awkward about mixing interests if i have the easy option to organize it in regards to tumblr so. yah
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hey does anyone know how we’re supposed to survive it all. asking for a friend
#she speaks#oh gang we’re really in it now#i don’t think i’ve ever felt this bad this deeply in my whole life lol#the burnout just keeps accumulating past any point i thought it could reach#and i can’t even pretend at work anymore#i’m so tired and these kids are so infuriating and it builds and builds every time they do something shitty#and i love them and it’s not their fault they’re just kids and they’re tired and it’s almost summer#but god i can’t fucking do it anymore#how exactly am i supposed to survive the next two weeks#the class i’m taking is too confusing and too fast paced#and i didn’t buy the textbook bc it’s 200 fucking dollars#and our apartment is always a mess#and i can’t keep up with friendships and feel like i’m constantly letting them down#and there’s nothing i can do to fix any of it#until the school year is over#bc at this point it takes everything i have just to get up and go to work in the mornings#but then i still have to somehow find energy to do other stuff too. and like actually teach.#i have to grade and do report cards and return materials and clean up my classroom#i need to complete a checklist the size of a novel before i leave for the summer#i need to keep the kids engaged but none of us want to be here#i need to start organizing to make next year easier#i need to fill out paperwork and spreadsheets and update my password and find time to feed myself and grade more papers and#vacuum the floors and scoop litter and clean up clutter and do dishes and wipe down counters#and i haven’t been able to fucking do any of it in months and left so many chores to my poor partner who’s also going through it#bc i have nothing left and i don’t know what to do!! i want to scream every minute of every day bc i’m so beyond overwhelmed the moment#i wake up in the morning but i don’t have time for a meltdown so i just keep going!!#i wish i had better words to explain how bad it’s gotten but the brain fog has gotten so so bad#i can barely think i can’t make decisions my memory and recall have gotten so much worse#i take my anxiety meds so often that they’ve stopped working#and yet i still worry that i’m making it up and being dramatic. anyway sorry about all this lol
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anxiety levels catastrophic. happy Mother’s Day!
#nothing more horrifying than having to go to a family barbecue and trying to organize a theater outing with friends and having one thousand-#-accumulated notes to study and having to finish wrapping gifts for a birthday party next week and having to write a paper on the water-#-resources in Gabon (which I was assigned on Wednesday and still haven’t had time to finish) and also translate a song in french for my-#-lessons and having to do my french homework. also i am hungry and the world is so so loud
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did i whole 30 minutes of cleaning today


#still need to move some stuff to my closet or under the bed#also i really need to vacuum and dust#dust accumulates so fucking fast here for some reason#anyways might ask for another bookcase from my parents for the next applicable gift giving holiday#which is probably my birthday i guess?#my uh other birthday#but for now i need to organize more#and also actually hook up my consoles#cause thatll give me some more space actually#anyways whatever idk if anyone is interested in me organizing my room#i know i like to watch room makeover videos but yknow#klepto talks to himself
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How's this for a new tag game:
Imagine that you, like a Jane Austen character, are getting five thousand a year – only, it's not money, it's something else, and you get to pick what it is.
You can't have money or anything that's used like money (such as gift cards or loyalty points.) Whatever it is, it's all coming to you within one year, and you'll have to take all five thousand of it.
What are you picking? Put your thing in the tags.
#first I thought I should probably pick something expensive I could sell like cars or diamonds#but where am I putting all those rabidly accumulating cars since I doubt I can sell them as fast as they come#and I feel like trying to sell 5000 diamonds as a regular person will put you on some kind of government watchlist for organized crime#so I dunno about those after all#maybe I'll be taking 5000 lottery tickets? some of them have to net me something#what I'd really like to have is 5000 guinea pigs... but again where am I putting all of them#tag games.
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Do you guys have any tips on how to organize your blog (specifically your artworks)? I tag my pieces with #my art, but I notice that even then, tumblr swallows up and spits out works at random. Like, I have pieces from 2017 showing up at the top of that tag instead of my more recent ones lol so... got any advice, folks?
#bishi talks#tumblr help#i got the urge to organize my blog all of a sudden cause I've accumulated quite a bit of drawings on here#if anyone has anything to say please do!!#gimme your wisdom
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it feels like i am reliving it everyday
#sick to my stomach all the time. heart racing#all my nerves tingling and every organ flipping#and the dreams#last night i was trying to tell my mother in our old family home that there was a fire spreading in the kitchen#but i was too quiet#no matter how close i got i was too quiet#the night before that it was just like Back Then and i wake up thinking i was dying#how do you do it??? how do you carry all the things that accumulate in the cracks?#i feel like i am coated in it. like everyone can see it on me except for me. like it is coming out of my pores.#eugh. and ive lost so much hair.#but i will get thru it#it can grow back. and december will come. and everything will pass. and life will move on.#need to figure out if theyre making things easier tomorrow or not. i gotta. i will keep going. i will keep going.#i am alright though! just having a rough go of it and need to just. keep my sights set on that flight home.#it's hard when youre so paranoid but you KNOW it's an internal issue#like im so sorry random person im sure youre very nice but im Terrified of you
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every so often I get bitten by the adhd dash to clean the whole house and only then do I remember how overwhelmingly gay my room is
#me on a normal day: oh thats 6 years worth of a pin collection#me cleaning/organizing: this is the gayest pin collection i could possibly have accumulated#pointless post
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mech pilots who walk with the wrong gait, knees slightly bent and leaned up on their toes. Most mechs have digitigrade-esque legs. Humans don’t.
mech pilots who can’t feel any pain or sensation when they’re in the machine but can feel everything once they’re outside the cockpit, too much and all at once. The sensation of having nerves everywhere instead of sensors in key places should be familiar, but it just isn’t anymore.
mech pilots who ere almost incapacitated with vertigo except when they’re in the cockpit, too used to being massive and heavy and standing above the world.
Human brains adapt quickly, almost too quickly, to being in the machine. But once you become the machine, you can never really go back to being human. Not like you used to be
Thinking more about Mech dysphoria today.
Stepping out of your cockpit and stumbling because you don't have the right number of legs.
Blinking your eyes out of sync because you don't have the right number anymore, don't have access to on board cameras the way you're supposed to.
Struggling to grab and pick things up because you have the wrong number of fingers.
Failing to recognize your face in the mirror without layers of armor plating over it.
Feeling like a brain pulled from its body and forced to function independently.
#I love mecha anime and I really wish more would do stuff with the sheer horror#Of having your brain#a notoriously sensitive organ to put it lightly#Hooked into a machine#Especially in pacific rim apocalypse scenarios. How much of this machine was hastily made to respond to a threat?#How much of it is understood#And how much is just trial and error as humankind scrambles to fight back against an unimaginable foe#Evangelion does interesting shit with it#What with Eva pilots being able to feel pain#But evas aren’t technically robots I guess#Gundam mercury’s ghost in the machine concept too#With such untested links between a massive and complex machine#Whos to say something doesn’t get left behind?#Maybe when a pilot dies in the seat#It’s like the shadows burned into pavement after a nuclear blast#An imprint a ghost a full consciousness#A human something pressed into a space it was never meant to occupy#Translated through means that it wasn’t made for and changed by them#By that point is it even a human anymore?#What if every time the pilot connects it leaves something behind? In the system of the mech#Small shadows and imprints of consciousness and memory and feeling#Accumulating over time#Pilots say that the oldest mechs have minds of their own#The ones that have chewed through the most pilots#In reality they don’t have a mind of their own#They have hundreds#Hundreds of moments and last thoughts and pieces of emotion merged into something that is made of human consciousness#But is not a human consciousness#It’s larger than that. Incomplete but still larger
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So like. Do one keep the cards for the scholarships one was awarded. And never got to cash cuz their life was derailed by permanent disability? Asking 4 a friend
#im tryna sort the paperwork our system accumulated and had stashed#we used to be like. really organized and meticulous and nerotic about losing shit#all the orderly shit is from when we were being successful:)) and idfk what to do with it now cuz#its over. its not happening.#fuck... we have a lot of system movement. it mostly feels like none of this was mine#that i havnt acomplished any of the shit that the person who did all that acomplished.#idk why im even trying to do this today#we r so pots symptomatic rn
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Organizing Your Stuff…..12/29/24
New Year’s is upon us. I thought this quote appropriate since many will be making New Year’s resolutions about getting better organized in 2025. I had a professional organizer once tell me that “if you haven’t touched it in six months, you can safely get rid of it.” While I’m not quite a pack rat, I do have trouble letting go of some things. I think, one day “I might need it.” Probably a…

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#accumulated#appropriate#blog#decluttering#easiest#found#hear#issue#loss#new#New Year#next#office#organize#organizer#peace#professional#stuff#thinking#time#way#well#work#year
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