#oral fixation rain also btw

[sovaghoul]

Dew singing along to Sleep Token when Rain is the only other Ghoul in the room: "When I open my eyes to the future, I can hear you say my name. So go down on me"

Rain:

Dew:

Rain:

Dew: Or whatever

[atbussysparks]

As the official southern scout irl, here's some 💯% accurate headcanons 🦅🦅🦅🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲

His body rejects his French blood like it's a disease so he has a constant stomach ache

1/4 Jewish and 1/4 Mexican. He was really pale before the war

His mom is totally Fran Drescher.

ADHD, and has an Oral fixation. If you told him that he'd go "huhuhuh, oral."

Coughed up blood on three separate occasions and coughed up glitter once

He has a metric shit ton of vintage comics, but he's dyslexic

He keeps pinups on his ceiling and everytime pyro barges into his room he has to shove them into a hole in the ceiling like it's fuckin fahrenheit 451

Owns a crust jacket that got hit with a firework and caught on fire at one point.

If cut open his organs glow BRIGHT green. He makes engineers Geiger counter go crazy

Does a ridiculous Beavis impression

Randomly does ballet poses just because he can. He also cannot do actual ballet.

Got sent to a troubled teens camp for two years until he was 14 and his mom and brothers busted him out, and the facility ate shit seven years later and he drank absinthe to celebrate.

Eats random shit he shouldn't eat. He ate a car mirror disco ball. He ate a lovebug. He gnawed on the edge of a table. There was a pinecone found in his stomach before respawning. Where the fuck did he get a pinecone??? THEYRE IN THE DESERT

When he was 9 he Got stuck in one of his brothers' lowrider after it flipped over For 13 minutes. His brother flipped it back over and They never talked about it again

Tried to microwave a bag of gummy worms to make one big "wormo gum" it caught on fire

Sniper asked him if he wanted some marmite and got tackled for saying "marmite? But pa might not!"

Fucking loves mushrooms. It has to be spelled out when talking about it so he doesn't freak out. Someone has to distract scout if someone else is making mushrooms

Got lost in the rain with one of his brothers for FOUR HOURS in his PJs. Still made it in time for a doctor's appointment.

He thinks medics trying to put bombs in him

After the events of "The Naked and the Dead" If scout coughs or laughs or trains too hard he gets violent pains in his side torso, and has to sit and breathe for a bit. Spy, medic, and heavy notice the most. Spy can't bring themself to stay in the room when they see it. Heavy lays his hand on his chest to weigh him down, and stop him from trembling. Medic asks him if he "wants some good strain"

He wants some good strain but detests smoking. He and medic have tried desperately to attain edibles.

Banned from wearing short-shorts because his dumbass can't act right. Refuses to sit legs closed. Brags about his buff fucking linebacker legs. He gets fish-hooked by the leg skin in battle. He ate a pair because he lost a bet.

Can't sleep around box fans because he heard they can kill you

Soldier opened the doors to the shower once and found scout in there, fully clothed, as a huge cloud of red/black smoke billowed out of the room and blinded him. He never found out wtf happened in there. The only time he asked scout just said "my bad, you peeped the horrors." he never asked again.

Lactose intolerant but desperately in love with mac n cheese. That might actually be the reason why his stomach hurts.

Joined the gravel wars when he was actually 19 but letting that get out would get him killed, because the higher ups are only allowed to hire people 25 and up. So, he turned 21 he told everyone he turned 27.

Watched cujo and he cried for the dog, because he has a huge saint Bernard at home

Probably kins cujo because he had rabies

His hat (called a fisherman or fiddle that btw) has has the word "gorm" and a picture of Garfield embroidered on the inside

Wears a giant fuckin muumuu to sleep. No matter where he is or what's going on, if he's wearing the muumuu he can sleep.