#or you’ll give us the raven cycle tv show

[rakktoons]

All I need is chocolate and season two of dead boy detectives

[miloscat]

[Review] Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force (PS2)

More like Elite Dorks.

Created during Voyager’s heyday on TV, Elite Force fits squarely in Raven Software’s tradition of pushing the Quake engine to try and make more interesting and involved shooters. A few years before this was Hexen 2, and not long after they’d be doing sequels to Star Wars Dark Forces. Sadly they’re forever imprisoned in the Call of Duty mines now, but I’ll always remember them for their HD Wolverine game.

Anyway, Voyager’s a pretty cool show. The concept of this game is that during their jolly jaunt through the Delta Quadrant, the ship is sucked into a pocket dimension and has to contend with other unfortunates to escape their alien captors. What follows is a heavily Half-Life-inspired first-person blast-em-up with lots of alien buttons to press and alien lifts to ride.

The blasters: the new-for-this-game Hazard Team commando squad. The blastees: a nice variety of cuttlefish aliens, crablike aliens, mechabots, Borg (of course), and a scavenger faction that includes Klingons and a surprise appearance of TOS-era mirror universe Terrans. The blasting: an escalating set of sci-fi super-guns, using one of two universal ammo types. This means you’ll usually stick to one of two weapons, and the rest become just distractions to cycle through.

Hazard Team is Tuvok’s baby, but all of the Voyager main cast as of later seasons voice their roles here (the PS2 port does have Jeri Ryan as Seven, who was patched in post-launch for the PC release), and I must say their blocky forms do a good job capturing their likenesses. The team is led by a supposedly Australian man—according to the instruction manual and in-game bios—who nevertheless sounds decidedly American. Anyway, he gets assimilated by the Borg for some dramatic scenes later, so the player character steps up halfway through.

Alex Munro is their name, and I chose the female option... who gets erased in the comic adaptation and the sequel, sadly. Below them is a dizzying array of minor characters; they should perhaps have focused more on the core group who get the most screentime anyway (you know, the scared one, the jock one, the quiet one, and the girl one), but there is the opportunity for the player’s actions to have some kind of influence on things, as it’s possible for these AI squad partners to die in battle. In between missions you also get a few corridors on Voyager to spend downtime in and chat to your crewmates, or do holodeck training, which is nice, although this aspect is underdeveloped.

Although half of the game is the multiplayer deathmatch mode in a wide variety of Star Trek-flavoured maps, the fully voiced and modelled ship and crew gives the single-player campaign some oomph, and the cutscenes help make it feel more like an episode of the show. Although for some reason the Voyager theme is not present, only a cheap home-brand replacement! Still, the focus of the game is ultimately the shooting, which is... fine. Maybe I’m spoiled having been raised on Goldeneye and Halo, but the combat feels shallow and mediocre, undermining the decent attempts at alien variety, setpieces, and environmental interaction. Even so, I appreciated having a story-driven Star Trek adventure to play through, as the franchise has many ship combat simulators or strategy/management games that aren’t to my liking. Oh, also the game drops frames frequently and the load times are long, but what are you gonna do? As Janeway says, “There’s coffee in that Playstation 2.”

[bangtan-madi]

All Of Our Lifetimes — One: Daymare

Pairing — Taehyung x Reader

Tags — boyfriend!Taehyung, husband!Taehyung reincarnation au, lovers to strangers and to lovers again, established relationship, implied soulmate au

Genre — fluff, angst, crime (ish)

Word Count — 2.7k

Summary — Does love ever truly end, or does it simply take another form in a new life? The cycle is like clockwork: your lives end and you’re reborn again. You’ve lived it over and over. Each cycle, one of you loses your memories and is tragically unaware until the other finds and awakens their lover. After all these eons, all these lifetimes, is it possible to find each other again—even when neither of you awakens with your memories? 

Part — 1 / 10

Warnings — swearing

A/N — This is going up a few hours earlier than I said previously, but I don’t care! Tuesday is the worst day of the week so I need to put out something good lol. Enjoy!

Previous — Next

"Find me... Find me... F—"

"—Oh, fuck me!"

Milo's temper tantrum draws you from your intense daydream. Jolting in your seat, breath ragged and heartbeat racing, you see your roommate throw a copy of her resume across the living room in a burst of rage.

"Fuck you," she points sharply at the paper, "fuck this, and fuck me!"

As Milo throws herself onto the couch, draping her forearm dramatically across her eyes, she heaves a heavy sigh and groans loudly.

"How are we supposed to have this much experience for an entry-level job, [Y/n]? We were lied to. I feel wronged. Can I sue?"

You shake your head, trying to push the daymare away from your mind. It's not the first time this has happened, and it certainly won't be the last, but somehow that man's face keeps coming back to you. Day and night, he's all you see when you close your eyes, almost like a memory...

You feign a smile as you reply, "Who are you gonna sue, Mi? You're the one that insisted on doing your resume yourself, after our internships."

Milo gestures extravagantly with her free hand, making shapes in the air with her fingers. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe the professor who told us that we'd have enough to get a job overseas by the time we graduated? Maybe the damned school who never mentioned the fact that South Korean's are so damn particular? Maybe my mom who never forced me to continue speaking Korean or writing Hangul when I was a kid so that I had to basically re-learn every-fucking-thing?"

The highs and lows of her complaints cause a laugh to slip out as you turn your attention back to your own resume, a digital copy ready for edits on your laptop. "You're gonna sue your Mrs. Choi? Doesn't sound like a great idea. Besides, I like her too much. Her kimchi is to die for. And if you had already known Korean and Hangul, we may have never met!"

Your best friend nods once, accepting this fact as true. "Probably not. That semester in a foreign language really did solidify our nerdiness about South Korea." She jabs a finger in your direction. "But I have a one-up on you 'cause my grandparents were first-gen immigrants from Seoul. So ha!"

Raising your hands in mock defeat, you retort, "You win that one. I'm just an American."

"So sad." The brunette sits up with an excited expression, eyes wide as she crawls over to you on your side of the sofa. "How about my academic advisor, if you can even call the woman an advisor for rehashing my own questions back at me? She convinced me that I could get a job anywhere, with any degree. So what did I go with? Interior design! I can't find a single freakin' job in Seoul for that! Not that doesn't require, like, three years experience, a particular certification that I conveniently did not get, and a signed contract with the Evil Underlord Satan."

"I really don't think that's gonna work, but hey go ahead and try!"

Milo shoves your shoulder playfully, turning to the television to change it to the New Year's Rockin' Eve show that you'd been waiting to start. "You're the one that took ethics classes! I thought you'd be able to tell me if I had a case."

You scoff, "I took business ethics, not legal ethics! But I can agree with you partly. That woman was of no help. At all. Glad I wasn't stuck with her as an advisor since I was in the communications program."

"Yeah, I like to compare her to our house: a conventional ranch with no personality."

You burst into laughter, and Milo hops up from the sofa, an amused expression on her face. She tosses the remote in your direction. "Get the channel right. I can't find it. I wanna watch the ABC exclusive. Pretty sure we get that through YouTube TV."

You catch the remote with ease and turn to the menu. "You think I know how this thing works? I only use Netflix and Crunchy Roll."

"Just shut up and search, will ya?"

You roll your eyes and do as your roommate asks. "Why ABC? Isn't it easier to just stream it online?"

"Becauuuse BTS! They're gonna be performing in, like, ten minutes!"

"What's that again?" you tease.

"Okay, I am not dealing with you right now. Don't make me come over there and hit you with the champagne bottle."

The last two words catch your attention. You turn around, rest your arms on the back of the sofa, and give your best friend the biggest puppy-dog eyes you can manage. "Pour me a glass, Jagiya?"

Milo smirks at the Korean pet name and grabs the golden bottle from the refrigerator. "Get your ass over here so we can pop it and move on. I ain't waiting for midnight. We got shit to do before then, and I can't work on this job-seeking stuff for another damn second without some alcohol in me."

You squeal a tiny, "Yay!" before leaping over the back of the sofa and joining your roommate in the kitchen.

After the champagne is popped and poured, both of you return to your places on the sofa. You take a sip from your glass as Milo calls your favorite local pizza place to place an order.

"Pickup in fifteen, which is perfect! I don't wanna miss BTS," she giggles, pushing her champagne away. "No drinking and driving. I can wait until I get back."

"You're giving up champagne for this band?" you tut, swirling your glass to show off the drink. "You must really love these boys."

Milo narrows her dark eyes at you and tosses her hair over her shoulder. "You'll see."

Another sip and you turn back to your laptop, the noise of the New Year's Rockin' Eve in the background. "Mhm, sure."

You continue to work in relative quiet for the next five minutes until Milo breaks the peace with an elated screech, a sound that is more similar to that of an animal than a twenty-something woman.

"They're on!" She grabs your arm and shakes it vigorously. "Look at them!"

You stop your edits to your portfolio and turn to the television with a sigh. The crowd has started to go mad over the seven men currently trotting up the stairs and on to the stage. The singing has already begun, and you have to admit that their voices harmonized spectacularly together.

But there's one voice, in particular, that is so familiar to you. Despite being mixed in with the group, the lowest register has your eyes leaving your laptop screen and shifting to the television. You can't put your finger on it, but there's something so soft, so real, so warm about it.

The camera zeroes in on the seven men. All are dressed to the nines and look like they're having a blast while performing. So not only can they sing and dance—and, for some, rap—they're all stupid good looking, each in their own unique way.

As the first song comes to a close, and Milo sings the last verse at the top of her lungs, the camera pans to the man in the center. He delivers some of the last lines in a voice as soft and warm as the one you'd heard amongst the mass. Except, this time, he stands out.

But you recognize more than his voice; his appearance is familiar, too. Despite remaining in the background for most of the first song's performance, there's something about the man with the wavy black hair and similarly colored trench coat that calls to you. On an ordinary day, on any other day, you would wave it off as a simple attraction.

But this—this is different. You can't put your finger on how or why, but you know that you've met this person before.

Lightning strikes. You know where you've seen this face before. He's been in your dreams and nightmares, your daymares and daytime imagination. He's been all over your mind, consuming it for the past few months. You've always had this dream, ever since you were a child, but lately, those nightmares have been getting more frequent. This man might be a slightly younger version than the one that plagues your dreams, but it's the same person. You're sure of it. Every time you close your eyes, his face is the one you see.

Right before you both die.

The next song begins, and the dark-haired stranger is back at the front. For the remainder of their eight-minute time slot, your eyes are glued to the screen, unable to comprehend where this person came from. You have distinct memories of your mother consoling a three-year-old you after having these same night terrors. Surely, you could not have seen this person back then. It's unlikely you saw him at all, and certainly not as he is at the turn of the decade.

"Who's that?"

Milo follows your gesture, seeing the raven-haired man taking center stage once again. "That's Kim Taehyung! Pretty, isn't he?" She chuckles at your expression. "You have a bias already, damn that's impressive. I mean, I'm more of a Hoseok girl myself but..."

Your roommate's chatter fades away as your attention is once again drawn to the screen. The performance ends, and the show shifts to a different artist, all part of the New Year's Rockin' Eve circus.

"Welp, that was worth the wait, but  I'm gonna go pick up that pizza," Milo cheers, hopping to her feet. "Don't drink all the champagne before I get back!" 

You shake your head and wave to the brunette as she slips out the door. Turning back to your laptop, you open a new search bar and put in two words: Kim Taehyung.

Millions of results pop up, everything from Wikipedia articles to Koreaboo gossip posts and everything in between. The entire time Milo is gone, you spend online researching BTS' V. By the end of the half-hour, you've learned quite a bit about him—taking particular note that his birthday is just a few days after yours—and have stalked his social media.

A little farther down on the results, you see an ad for Big Hit Entertainment. The ad says that the company is looking for bi-lingual speakers, preferably English and Korean, to hire as a production assistant. Out of curiosity, you click on the link and are taken to Big Hit's site.

Milo returns with fanfare, holding the pizza in front of her like Simba the lion. "It's the cirrrcle of life!" she sings. "They were definitely talking about pizza when they wrote that line."

As she plops the box onto the kitchen counter, you make a sound of vague agreement. Milo asks you how many pieces you want, but you hardly hear her, eyes skimming the job posting over and over.

Is this a possibility? Is this something you're actually considering? Besides the fact that you just saw the add a few minutes ago, your reasons for applying are vague at best. Are you weighing the real options, or are you leaning into this particular job because it might lead you to answers? Or maybe give you an opportunity to meet this Kim Taehyung, maybe even ask him questions?

"Hello? Earth to [Y/n]!" Milo reaches over the back of the sofa to wave a hand in front of your face. Snapping you out of your stupor, your best friend laughs. "Damn, what are you reading? You're really out—wait...is that Big Hit? You found a job posting? What!"

Milo grabs your laptop and pulls it from your grasp. "Mi—"

She brings it over the back of the couch, placing it on the counter beside the pizza. Her brown eyes are wide and curious as she scrolls through the information. "Production assistant for Big Hit, in Seoul, for a bi-lingual speaker with no prior experience? Dude. This is the perfect job! Like, seriously, where did you find this?"

"On Google," you sigh, knowing that you're not going to get the laptop back until Milo relinquishes her control. You settle in on the stool beside her. "I was looking...for postings while you were gone. I stumbled across it."

Milo cocks an eyebrow and shows you your search history, terms which mostly consist of "BTS," "BTS V," and "Kim Taehyung."

"Mhm, suuure, we'll go with job postings."

You take the device from her with a playful scowl. "My point remains. This is exactly what I've been looking for. It says here that the job would be a lot of translation work, both in person and on documents. I'd also assist in the studio while recording or producing. And various other tasks, but I think it'd put my communications major to good use. It's a step in the right direction."

"You sure you just don't wanna see Taehyung-ssi?" she giggles.

A rising feeling of defensiveness comes over you as you close your laptop, moving to the sofa to retrieve your glass of champagne. "I just heard BTS for the first time tonight, Milo. I'm not about to pick my first post-college job and move half-way around the world for a boy I don't even know, let alone a K-pop boy."

"A cute K-pop boy, though." 

You return to her side, raising both eyebrows in an expression that says, "Really?"

Milo shrugs, raising her hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, I'll let it go. Just an odd choice for you."

"Well, it's like we were saying earlier." You grab a piece of pizza from the box and shove the end into your mouth. "What'd we got t'lose?"

Milo makes a "close your mouth" gesture with her hand, grimacing at the sight. "Points were made. Fine, but maybe sleep on it? And this is me telling you to not be impulsive," she laughs towards the end. "But what the hell. If you go for it, I might have to find a job in Seoul sooner than I thought."

"I'm sure there are thousands of applicants," you grimace, the reality of the situation settling in. 

Milo grabs a slice for herself and wraps an arm around your shoulders. "And you're worth each and every one of 'em." After pressing a loud kiss to your temple, she slips from the bench and plops back down on the sofa. "C'mon! We got some balls to drop and resumes to edit."

Later that evening, or earlier the next morning, you're left cleaning up as Milo reclines on the sofa in a tipsy slumber. After the New Year rolls in, along with a brand new decade, you're left alone with your thoughts. 

Thoughts and several disposable dishes.

As you tidy up, you contemplate the options in front of you. Sure, you'd sent out several resumes to plenty of companies already. Some of which you'd heard absolutely nothing from, while others have let you know they'll get back to you about a possible interview. So far, nothing has been terribly promising.

So what' the harm in applying for the Big Hit job in Seoul?

The other half of your motivation slips into your sleepy mind. The person you've seen since childhood, could he really be Taehyung? Could you finally be so close to the answers? Why only one dream? Why him? Why so much blood and death?

Does he dream of you, too?

The laptop remains on the kitchen counter, and your fingers itch to open it up and send off your completed resume. This could lead to more than just a new job and a fresh start; this could lead to the answers you've been seeking ever since you were three years old.

A tiny voice inside you says, "Do it."

And, against your better judgment, you listen. 

[acioo]

anonymous asked: I was just wondering if you have any ideas on how to get inspired to create characters?? I want some new muses but I don’t really know where to start? And your muses are Exemplary. Tyvm!!

hi, anon ! first of all, thank you so much ! you’re so sweet <3 i thought about this a while & i’ve made a list of things i take inspiration from / ways to get inspired ! also, i got some help by rachel ( @tombraiders ) & ( @laurakinnvy ), so thank those legends for that !

media ( tv shows / films / books / etc ) ― now, there’s a lot of ways to go about this. i’d never suggest taking whole parts of characters ( like, anything hyperspecific, i’d say, for example: your characters parents are scientists living in africa and your character contracts a rare disease that your char's parents cure your char from by injecting your char with a serum that turns your char green and gives your char superpowers AKA garfield logan ). BUT, what i mean, is that it’s very easy to take a singular idea and completely adapt it to a character and turn it into something that’s very different from the og idea but still so much fun. so, make your character the child of the sheriff ( stiles stilinski, teen wolf ), make your character the child of psychic/s ( blue sargent, the raven cycle ), or give your character a fraternal twin ( pines twins, gravity falls ), but run with it in your own way. give it a specific twist that came from you alone. remember to respect other writers, and i would NEVER suggest doing this with your fellow writers in the rpc, but no writer owns the idea of being a demigod, or have superhero family members, or being the child of a senator. if you are watching something, and you’ve always loved a particular detail, then run with it, and give it your own twist. you can develop an entire character by starting with one thing.

pinterest ― one of the first things i do when creating a character is begin their board. my layout is i’ll start pining general things ( clothing, physique, some words ) just to get into the feel of it. once i start getting more deep into a character, i will add sections to their board, all rooted in specific aspects of their lives ( so, for example, a sibling, a significant other, a power, a job ). i’ve even made pin boards where there are sections based on different aus i have for them. it allows me to flesh out the character while also keeping a more big picture view of them ( meaning, how all the aspects and qualities work together to make a dimensional char ), and i can pick up qualities that fit with the character by stumbling on them in pins ( for example, seeing a pin of a dog, giving the character a dog, expanding the relationship with the dog, so forth ). here’s an example of a pinterest board of mine, if you are wondering what i mean exactly ( and with the board, even more examples for sections: future children, family, childhood ).

a single thought ― i took a creative writing class a few years back, and an exercise we went through was posting a list of first lines from books ( here i will name a few, if you wish to try this: i had just come to accept that my life would be ordinary when extraordinary things began to happen, one summer night i fell asleep hoping the world would be different when i woke, it was a pleasure to burn, all children except one grow up ), and then she made us create an entire character with full background and as many clever aspects as we could ( within the span of forty-five minutes ). she’d also do it for short stories. it was a clever trick of hers to get us to think outside of the box, but it’s also a fun exercise to take forth in. it gives you a start place, but the finish line is wherever you so please. i once wrote a prize-winning short story based on a singular quote ( that being, there is one mirror in my house, from divergent. ) i used the quote “ it was a pleasure to burn “ ( farenheit 451 ) to create a character of mine who loves fire, and has shaped her entire life around it, but has begun to melt. my point being: it is possible and it’s sooo much fun. by the time you get finished ( though i don’t personally believe you should EVER be truly finished in delving into your character. by that i mean, don’t be afraid to change things up, because more often than not you’ll wind up better than you were before. i don’t care if you’ve been writing them for five months, or five years, if you have a thought, like hey what if their mom had a specific job that had an effect, for example, go with it and see where you land after ), you will have a character that should have a relation, but a thin one, to your source, if done properly.

playlists ― playlists are usually something i do after i begin my character, but i’ve ben open to a whole new world by rachel and han, who say they use playlists to create. which, makes a whole lot of sense. i posted specific mood playlists here that are available to help, but i also have something in the works in terms of songs to help, so look out for that. here are some songs that i think would be good in creating characters, or at the very least, starting to create characters: 8teen by khalid, bloom later by jesse, cold by rich brian, devil town by keep for cheap, everybody loves me by onerepublic. to explain further, here’s an example, using happy pills by weathers ( i take my pills and i’m happy all the time / happy all the time / happy all the time ), you could begin by making a character with a mental illness, then go into how they take medication for it, why they got it, and so forth.

real life ― this can be used in a lot of ways. maybe you have dual citizenship, and you can easily give this to a character, and use it to expand them: where do they live, which country do they feel more connected to, etc. or maybe you are funny, so use that: is it a coping mechanism, when did they become funny or were they always. there’s a number of things to include ( and it also sets a really good precedent, because i think one of the MOST important aspects of a character is making them a dimensional being who you could basically pop out of the pages and stick in a house and would reasonably work ): a family dynamic, a sexual orientation, a religion, an anecdote. it’s also a good way to get out feelings you may have, and can be some of the most compelling of writing, but i really do urge you to watch where this goes, because it can get out of hand, and you can wind up upsetting yourself, or creating a character that is a bit of a modge podge and not a painting if you will ( in that the parts don’t all fit together ).

muse inspo blogs ― lastly, muse inspiration blogs are a good way to do this as well. they have numerous tags where you can begin, maybe a label that you can use to fully explain your characters or a dynamic, and then go from there by scrollling through. there’s a number of muse inspo blogs that you can use, and i’m happy to string together a few if you send me another ask. i also have some musing tags, which you can find here. 

[t100ficrecsblog]

an interview with @that-english-nerd (she/hers)

what are you working on right now? Three things!

My next chapter for my witch!AU where Bellamy is the son of a witch, and Clarke enlists his help to find out what happened to her father and his sister.

And a prompt for @bellarkefic-for-blm  with princess!Clarke and knight!Bellamy. It's a little outside of my comfort zone but I enjoy writing it. I currently have stumbled upon some technical difficulties where I lost everything I wrote for it so now I'm back to square one.

I’m also looking for the next chapter of a Voltron fic I’ve been working on. It’s super silly but it’s ridiculous amounts of fun, I want to write so much for it.

what’s something you’d like to write one day? I think it's been a pipe dream of mine to write a novel that captures the spirit of the YA books I grew up on but that people of all ages can enjoy. I want it to be my ultimate self-indulgent fantasy where I combine all the things I loved as a reader. A fantasy/sci-fi, action, a good satisfying romance, complex emotions.

It's also important to me that the main character is brown-skinned like I am, and that the book discusses different philosophies and cultures without ever saying one is right. Growing up as the child of immigrants, I've always struggled with clashing cultures and it took me a while to learn that neither culture is more right than the other, and that our differences in how we think are what makes being human meaningful. I want something that acknowledges those parts of the human experience without villainizing or glorifying its existence.

what is the fanwork you’re most proud of? Honestly? It's this moodboard I made for my Winx Club!AU. I really like how it came out aesthetically speaking, and I'm fond of the story. I do have some things I'd change about the story stemming from the fact I wrote it one sitting but I don't know if I'll ever make the changes. Still. It was a fun piece to write.

why did you first start writing fic? I really, really just wanted to write some more scenes for my favorite couples who I felt were robbed in books. I just wanted to write some cute shit, man. Since then I’ve written for 39 Clues, Maximum Ride, Demashitaa! Powerpuff Girls Z, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Powerpuff Girls, Hush, Hush, Danny Phantom, Giver, Legend of Korra, Jimmy Neutron, Code Lyoko, 100, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Lucifer, and Penryn & the End of Days.

what frustrates you most about fic writing? plot. specifically, non-emotional plot. like what even is that. If the plot is driven by emotional development, it’s still hard to come up with specific structures for moments but like if things need to happen outside of their emotions, oh whee boy do I struggle. For me, emotions tend to naturally evolve from one thing into the next and it’s easy for the characters to lead me where their emotions take them. It’s harder when things need to develop outside of that.

Other than that, motivation is a big roadblock. Struggling with depression, anxiety and my other responsibilities, I can go without touching a piece of writing for months. I feel the itch very often but it’s one that goes unindulged.

what are your top five songs right now? - Experience by Victoria Monét with Kahlid, SG Lewis  - BALI by Rich Brian with Guapdad 100 - Etch by RILEY THE MUSICIAN with Iker - Culver by Mac Wetha

what are your inspirations? Usually pictures or stories! My witch!AU was inspired by an aesthetic picture I saw on tumblr and most of my other stuff has been inspired by other stuff I read. It’s not necessarily specific plot points—though, sometimes some plot threads are too good to give up—but rather the emotional journey the characters go through. Poems and other media also feed the old noggin.

what first attracted you to Bellarke? what attracts you now? It turns out I have a thing for reluctant partners turned lovers. I really liked how the two shouldered responsibilities that no one else really had, and that despite their differences, they had the capacity to understand and empathize with each other when no one else would. It would've been so easy for Bellamy and Clarke to fall into an endless cycle of blaming each other for their decisions. We see it in the other characters, in other TV shows--a constant battle where only one person's philosophy can prevail. But with Bellamy and Clarke, they have always shown empathy and accepted each other. It might not have been right, maybe they themselves would've done something different, but at the end of the day, Bellamy and Clarke try to understand and accept each other for who they are. Present tense. I think that kind of, frankly mature, love is something we don't see in media all too often.

BESIDES Bellarke, what character or pairing do you like best on t100? hmmmm

I do enjoy memori, they make me happy. I also have a soft spot for Raven and Roan. Anything with Wells is gold bc I really want to see how he could've changed the show. Oh, and Minty. This wonderful idea will always be a favorite of mine.

why did you decide to start writing for bellarkefic-for-blm? I’ve been wanting to do more for a bit because I, personally, avoid social media activism. @bellarkefic-for-blm  is an amazing way to leverage whatever platform I have to incite awareness and action by using my strengths. I can do this really cool thing that I enjoy to help something critically important.

what’s your writing process like (esp for prompts, chopped!, etc)? it’s a hot diggity dog mess. I kind of do whatever I feel like. If I want to write a scene, I’ll write a scene. If I want to write dialogue, I’ll write dialogue. If I want to write an outline, I’ll write an outline. Chronological order is not guaranteed. Because writing tends to be an extremely emotionally exhaustive task for me, it’s easier for me to write more if I let go and follow whatever whims I have so that I don’t compromise my urge to write. My guarantee is that I try to milk the whim for whatever it’s worth. If I start an outline, I’ll finish it. I’ll have music in usually but I’ll pause it often to think about whatever it is I need to say.

what are some things you’d like to recommend? Some bellarke fics that’ll make you chuckle: So put your hands down my pants and I bet you’ll feel nuts by Chash You know you drive me up the wall by coffee_grounders The (Bullet Pointed) Life and Times of Bellamy Blake by crystalkei, dirtytrix

Other than that:

-       Albums: Ungodly Hour by Chloe x Halle, SAWAYAMA by Rina Sawayama, Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers -       Musicians: Matt Nathanson, Mat Kearney -       TV Shows: Nikita, Code Lyoko -       Books: Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

You can find her on here on Tumblr @that-english-nerd, or on her AO3 here. Request a fic written by her via @bellarkefic-for-blm.

[penpalkingdom]

name: angela age: 18 country: us

info/interests: I spend most of my time listening to music and/or making playlists. my music type depends on my mood- the main genres I would say I listen to are alternative and rnb but sometimes you’ll catch me breaking down to turn around bright eyes in my car on my way to boost my caffeine addiction lol. I watch a Lot of tv. my favorite shows rn are the Witcher, carnival row, and wentworth. I like watching docuseries and crime shows toooo I’m trying to read more but I have a horrible time actually concentrating lol- I am currently reading the raven cycle.. the amount of aesthetic gives me life what I’m looking for: I just want someone to have existential crises with and binge watch shows, laugh and talk about life to. I more keen on internet friends but I could be down for snail mail if things hit off right lol

hmu on tumblr @2pinkpeaches sc @angelatilsmith

[arysafics]

Kindly Calm Me Down

Bellarke January Joy // Day 29

@bellarkejanuaryjoy

Rated T, ~ 3,500 words

Summary: Clarke has a pregnancy scare and Bellamy helps her through it.

“Bellamy and I are going to the movies. Do you want to come?” Clarke asks Raven, who’s curled up on the couch in her sweatpants.

“I would, but I have the worst period pain right now. I think I’m dying,” Raven groans. Clarke grimaces. “Chances are you’ll be dying too in a few hours.”

“Fuck, has it been a month already? I feel like I just had my period.”

After living together for over a year, Clarke’s cycle has actually synced up with Raven’s. Raven is on the pill, and Clarke isn’t—she doesn’t like what it does to her body—so Clarke usually relies on Raven to tell her when they’re both due.

“Sometimes I just want to get pregnant so I won’t have to do this for nine months.”

“Don’t talk like that. You’re just giving it what it wants. Also, there is no way Murphy is ready for a kid,” Clarke snorts.

“Trust me, neither am I,” Raven says. She groans again, clutching her stomach.

“Do you need anything?” Clarke asks.

“Just the usual stuff,” Raven says. Tampons, painkillers, chocolate. They’ll probably spend tonight stuffing their faces and crying over a dumb romcom. Their respective boyfriends, Finn and Murphy, will be keeping their distance most likely. Men are ridiculous like that.

Clarke gives Raven a sympathetic look, grabs her keys and heads out to meet Bellamy. She texts Finn as she walks around the corner to Bellamy’s place.

Hey babe. Raincheck for tonight? It’s that time of the month.

She doesn’t technically have her period yet, but she’s going to get it within the next day. If she’s being honest, she’s glad to have a reason to cancel their date. Not because she doesn’t want to spend time with him, but because he’ll expect her to get all dressed up and she doesn’t think she can be bothered tonight.

She rings Bellamy’s doorbell, and it’s only half a second before he’s out the door, like he’d been standing there waiting for her.

“Someone’s excited,” Clarke laughs.

“Clarke, you’ve been promising me you would see this movie with me for weeks now. I’m not giving you another chance to back out,” he says. He locks his front door and they begin their walk to the cinema.

“I’m sorry, okay! I’ve just been busy.”

Bellamy gives her a sidelong glance. He doesn’t say it, but she knows what he’s thinking. With Finn. He’s made it no secret that he hates the guy, even though Clarke has been dating him for almost six months now. Clarke has never asked Bellamy why he hates her boyfriend, and he’s never offered up the information. Part of her suspects that if Bellamy told her his reasons, he’d get into her head and ruin her relationship. And she likes Finn. That’s all that matters.

“It’s okay,” Bellamy shrugs. He’s always so quick to forgive her. “You’re here now. I suppose you and Finn have plans for tonight though?”

“Actually, I just cancelled. Why?”

Bellamy raises an eyebrow at her. “I don’t have anything planned. Thought you might like to hang out.”

“Oh. Well, Raven and I—”

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy interrupts. “You cancelled plans with the magnificent Finn?” he asks incredulously. “Trouble in paradise?”

“No,” Clarke says adamantly. Bellamy looks a little too pleased for her liking. “I just didn’t feel like going out tonight.”

“You could just stay in.”

“Finn doesn’t like staying in. He gets bored. And he like to… I don’t know,” Clarke sighs. “Show me off, or something.”

Bellamy coughs something under his breath that sounds a lot like douchebag. Clarke glares at him.

“Besides,” Clarke continues. “Raven and I are having our monthly pity party.”

“Sounds fun. Can I come?”

“You know what monthly pity party means, right?”

“Period party?”

“Yeah. Except without the partying. Still want to come?”

“It’s not contagious, is it?” Bellamy jokes. Clarke shoves him playfully. “I’m not afraid of women on their periods, Clarke,” Bellamy rolls his eyes. “But if you guys want to be alone, it’s cool.”

“We do.”

Bellamy shrugs. “Okay. I guess I’ll just play video games all night. Or maybe I’ll finish that book I’ve been reading.”

“Thrilling.”

“Says the girl having a period party.”

“You aren’t supposed to antagonise women who are on their period, you know?” Clarke scowls.

Bellamy laughs. “I’ll buy you popcorn to make up for it. Deal?”

“Deal.”

  After the movie, and stopping at the grocery store for supplies, Bellamy walks Clarke home. They pick at every little detail of the movie, despite having mostly enjoyed it. He pulls her into a hug at her door, and Clarke breathes him in, feeling comforted. He gives the best hugs. He pulls away, his hands brushing her waist and arms unnecessarily before they drop to his sides.

“Have fun bleeding out of your vagina,” Bellamy says, just to make it weird.

“Don’t be gross,” Clarke says. She pokes her tongue out at him. Bellamy shakes his head, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he grins.

“See you later, Clarke.”

Clarke is still smiling to herself as she lets herself into the house. She heads straight for the lounge room, ready to throw the plastic bag full of chocolate and sanitary products at Raven, only to find it’s not Raven lying on the couch. It’s Murphy.

“Murphy?” Clarke frowns in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, Clarke,” he rolls his eyes.

“Sorry. Where’s Raven?”

“Bathroom. Did you bring painkillers? Because I forgot.”

Clarke eyes him, still confused. “You have a headache or something?”

Murphy looks at her like she’s an idiot. “For Raven, dumbass. I also don’t think she’s a fan of the brand of tampons I got because she threw them at my head.”

“I apologised for that!” Raven says, entering the room. She walks back over to the couch, collapsing on top of Murphy. He groans. “I really do appreciate that you tried. You’ll do better next time.”

“You bought Raven tampons?” Clarke says dumbly. Finn would never do that. The mention of the word period grosses him out. He doesn’t even like it when she says it’s that time of the month.

“She said she had her period,” he shrugs. “I was trying to be helpful.”

“Wow, Murphy, you’re all grown up,” Clarke smirks. “What about all the other times she had her period while you guys have been together?”

“It took me a while to figure out the code.”

“Code?”

“Raven always just says it’s shark week. I thought she meant literal sharks.”

Clarke snorts. “God. I suppose you’re joining us tonight then?”

“Aren’t you lucky?” Murphy says. Clarke rolls her eyes. She does actually like Murphy, though he can be a bit of a dick sometimes. But she’d kind of been hoping for a girls’ night.

Raven and Murphy start making out, and Clarke takes that as her cue to leave the room. She heads to the bathroom, turning her phone on as she goes. She’d turned it off before the movie started and forgot to turn it on until this moment. She has a message from Finn. She pulls down her panties, sits on the toilet and opens the message.

TMI, babe. Next week, tho xx.

Clarke is fairly underwhelmed by the message. She checks her underwear. Nothing. Checks the toilet paper after she wipes. Nothing. Not that she wants her period. It’s just annoying to know it’s coming and she wants to get it over with.

Back in the lounge room, Raven and Murphy have stopped kissing, but now they’re spooning as they watch TV, and that’s almost worse.

“You know what, I think I’m going to let you two have some alone time,” Clarke says. Then she calls Bellamy.

  Three days later, Clarke still hasn’t gotten her period, and she’s starting to panic. She and Finn always use protection when they have sex, but of course she knows it’s not always foolproof. Speaking of Finn, she’s barely heard from him in the last couple of days. He hasn’t stopped posting on Instagram though. Then again, she hasn’t really contacted him either, and he’s probably just waiting for her to say the coast is clear.

Except she’s not sure the coast is clear. She hasn’t told Raven that her period is late. Mostly because it’s probably nothing. It’s probably just stress or something. But she wants to buy a pregnancy test anyway because there’s a chance she’s pregnant, and if she is, she kind of wants to know about it.

As she stands there in the aisle staring at the different brands, she gets a little overwhelmed. Until now, she hasn’t let herself think about what might actually happen if the test turns out to be positive. But she can’t even figure out which pregnancy test to choose, let alone all the decisions she’ll have to make if she has a baby. If she were choosing a test for Raven, this would be easy. But it’s for her.

She grabs a packet of the shelf and tries to read it. The words swim in front of her, and her chest grows tight. She can’t breathe. Tears prick the corners of her eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind she’s aware she might be having a panic attack. She tries to take a deep breath. She drops the box she’s holding and hurries from the store before anyone can see her having a nervous breakdown in aisle four.

Out on the street, she stops, trying to calm herself down. She manages to get her breathing back to normal. She should just go back in and grab whichever test is the cheapest. But she’s afraid if she does, she’ll just have another panic attack. Instead she starts walking, and her feet know where she’s going before her brain does.

She rings Bellamy’s doorbell, and he doesn’t even look surprised to see her. He does look concerned though, when she bursts into tears in front of him.

“Clarke?” he says hesitantly, already pulling her into his arms. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m late,” she sobs.

“What do you mean?”

“My period. I was meant to get it when Raven did, the other day. But it hasn’t come yet. What if I’m—” she breaks off into another round of sobs.

“Hey, hey,” Bellamy says softly, stroking her hair. “It’s going to be okay. Come inside.” He breaks the hug, though Clarke is reluctant to let go. He pulls her inside, shutting the door behind her, then leads her to the living room. He sits on the couch and Clarke curls up next to him, burying her face into his shoulder.

“Did you take a test?” he asks her.

“I went to buy one but I couldn’t. I freaked out.”

“You want me to go and get you one?”

“I don’t want you to go.”

Bellamy kisses the top of her head, and her insides turn to jelly. “I won’t be long, I promise. It’s better to know, right?”

Clarke nods, and Bellamy gets up, leaving her to wallow while he goes out to get her a pregnancy test. He’s not gone long, and then he’s back, a little rectangular box in his hands. Clarke’s stomach churns. She feels like she’s going to vomit.

She gets up off the couch, and Bellamy takes her hand, squeezing tightly. He doesn’t let go until they get to the bathroom. He opens the box, takes out the test and hands it to Clarke, then reads the instructions out loud.

“So basically, pee on the stick, then wait.”

“Pee on the stick then wait,” Clarke repeats. “I can do that.”

Bellamy looks at her, uncertain. “Are you sure—are you sure you want me with you? Do you want me to call Finn?”

“No,” Clarke shakes her head vehemently. “I want you.”

Bellamy swallows thickly. “Okay.” He makes for the door. “I’ll be right out here. Call me if you need me.” Clarke nods, and watches him until he’s out of the room, the door shut behind him. Clarke swallows, eyeing the test like it might blow up in her hand. She takes a deep breath, pulls down her pants and underwear, and sticks the test between her legs.

“Let’s get this over with,” she mutters. Once the deed is done, she pulls her pants back up and sits on the lid of the toilet, setting an alarm on her phone to tell her when she can check the test again. She puts it on the counter next to the sink so she doesn’t have to look at it before it’s ready to give her an answer.

“Bellamy,” she calls. She had been weirdly calm when faced with the task of simply peeing on a stick. But now that she’s minutes away from finding out whether or not she’s pregnant, she’s feeling sick again. Terrified.

Bellamy opens the door, and Clarke holds her hand out to him, needing his strength and support. He grabs her hand tightly, sitting down on the tiles at her feet. “You okay?” he asks. Clarke shakes her head. “You want to talk about it?”

Clarke shrugs. “I just—I’m not ready for a baby, you know? I still have so much to do before that.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy says, serious. “If you are pregnant. I hope you know I’m going to be with you every step of the way. Whatever you choose to do.”

Clarke feels herself tearing up again. She nods, sniffling. “I know.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to call Finn? Not for his sake, but for yours.”

Clarke shakes her head. She doesn’t want to bother Finn with this. It will only freak him out. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure. You want me to tell you about the book I just read?”

“Uh huh,” she nods. Bellamy launches into a description of the book, stopping midsentence when the alarm on Clarke’s phone goes off to tell her it’s been three minutes. Clarke grips his hand tighter, and they both turn their eyes to the test, where it sits face down on the edge of the sink.

“You ready?” Bellamy asks.

Clarke lets out a shaky breath. “I guess so.” She picks up the test and flips it over. Negative. She sags in relief.

“Well?” Bellamy prompts. Clarke shakes her head, tearing up again, god knows why.

“It’s negative,” she tells him. “I’m not pregnant.”

“That’s great, right?” Bellamy says. Clarke nods, tossing the used test into the trash. She wraps her arms around Bellamy sliding off the toilet seat to her knees. She’s smiling, the relief really washing over her now.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you for being here for me.”

“Of course,” Bellamy murmurs back.

“We should get pizza to celebrate,” Clarke decides.

“Okay,” Bellamy chuckles.

Half an hour later they’re sprawled on his bed watching Netflix and eating pizza. Clarke has practically forgotten about her pregnancy scare already. The episode they’re watching ends, and Bellamy hits the pause button so the next episode won’t play.

“Clarke, can I ask you something?” he says.

“Yeah, sure.”

“You don’t have to answer, but I’m just curious… why did you come to me? Why not your boyfriend? The potential father of your baby?”

Clarke swallows. “Please, Bellamy. If I had been pregnant, and decided to keep it, there’s no way Finn would be the one helping me raise the baby.”

“You think he would have taken off?”

Clarke shrugs. “Probably. But also—I don’t think I’d want to raise a kid with him. He’d be an awful father. Not like you.” If Bellamy notices the subtle and accidental implication that she wants him to be the father of her children, he doesn’t comment on it. Clarke ducks her head to hide her blush. “Why do you hate him so much anyway?” she asks hurriedly, before Bellamy can notice what she’s said.

“Are you seriously asking me?”

“Yes.”

“Clarke, I mean—isn’t it obvious? He’s not good enough for you. He won’t touch you or go near you if you have your period. He likes to dress you up and show you off, but doesn’t actually like spending time with you. He’d run in the opposite direction if he found out you were pregnant. You deserve so much better than that,” Bellamy huffs.

Clarke chews her lip. She’s never sat down and listed all the things she dislikes about Finn before, but when Bellamy lays it all out like that, she knows he’s right. Finn is a shit boyfriend. But Bellamy isn’t even done.

“Plus, when you guys first started dating, he told me to stop being friends with you,” Bellamy snorts. Clarke sits up at that, shocked.

“He did? That bastard! Why?”

Bellamy rolls his eyes. “Probably because he knew that if he asked you to stop being friends with me, you’d have dumped him right then and there.”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant why doesn’t he want us to be friends? And why didn’t you tell me right away?”

Bellamy opens his mouth, then shuts it again. He shrugs. “I guess he thought… he thought maybe I was in love with you. And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think it was true.”

Clarke stares at him. Her heart is beating faster, like it could actually be true. Like maybe she wants it to be true.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Bellamy says quietly.

“It’s fine, Bell, I get it,” Clarke sighs. “But you could have saved me a lot of time if you’d just told me at the start.”

Bellamy’s eyes dart to hers sharply. “What do you mean?”

“Well, obviously I have to break up with him.”

“You do?” he asks, sceptically. Like he can’t quite believe she was so easy to convince. Clarke can’t even remember right now what she liked about Finn in the first place.

“You were right. I deserve better.”

“I know.”

“I deserve someone who likes hanging out with me. Who isn’t scared of a challenge. Who’s there for me no matter what. Someone who loves me.”

Bellamy swallows. Does he know she’s talking about him? “I’m sure you’ll find someone like that.”

“Bellamy—”

“Don’t say anything else until it’s over with him,” Bellamy says softly. Clarke’s eyes widen. Her heart thrums.

“Okay,” she says. She gets up off the bed and grabs her phone. She should do this in person, probably. It’s what a decent person would do. But she’s too impatient to wait, and she’s not sure Finn deserves any decency anyway. She wonders if he’ll even care.

Bellamy sits up, eyes wide as he watches her dial Finn’s number.

“Hey, babe, what’s up?” Finn asks. Clarke pulls the phone from her ear and puts Finn on speaker so that Bellamy can hear.

“Finn,” Clarke says. “I’m sorry to do this over the phone, but I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to see you. I think we should break up.”

“What?” Finn says. “Where is this coming from?”

“I just don’t think we’re right for each other. I don’t like how you treat me.”

“How I treat you?” Finn repeats. “I treat you great!”

Clarke huffs. “Even if that were true. It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”

“Come on, Clarke. Don’t be like that. You’re just in a bad mood because it’s that time of the month.”

“No, Finn. I don’t want to be with you. I’m in love with someone else.”

Clarke doesn’t look at Bellamy. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Hadn’t meant to admit it yet.

Finn is silent for a moment before he says, “Bellamy?”

Clarke finally looks at Bellamy. He’s watching her with baited breath. “Yes.”

“Fucking hell, I knew that asshole was trying to steal you from me. I’m going to—”

Clarke hangs up the phone and throws it onto the bed. Bellamy gets to his knees, and Clarke falls to hers on the bed in front of him.

“Did you mean that?” he asks. “Or were you just trying to piss him off?”

“I meant it. I was hoping you might feel the same?”

Bellamy grins. “Yes, Clarke. And I’m going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

“I know,” Clarke laughs. Bellamy kisses her then, and things just seem to click in to place. Things are perfect, for a few minutes, when they fall onto the bed, wrapped in each other, unable to separate their lips from one another. Until Clarke feels a stabbing pain in her abdomen.

She groans, clutching her stomach, pulling away from Bellamy.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, worried.

“Just my body confirming that I’m not pregnant,” Clarke says. “Not to cash in on girlfriend privileges so soon, but do you think you could go back to the store and get me a few things?”

Bellamy looks delighted at the use of the word girlfriend. “As your boyfriend, nothing would make me happier.”

[magicinthestory]

day 8-Photography

Luna had a love for photography so much so that she had burned out her old point and shoot a while ago but she was doing her best to nurse it until she saved up enough for a much better, unlike other members of her family who take his father’s credit card that wasn’t her style.

One day she had it out taking photos around the campus and dorms, of nothing in particular just getting in practice, when one particular explosive personality started to throw a bit of a fit.

“Hey Whiplash! Why The Hell Are You Taking Pictures Of Me Without My Permission!”

Luna rolled her eyes. “I’m not, Bakugo, see.” She turned on the screen to let him cycle through the photos and handed him the camera.

The angry blonde cycled through the pictures to find that she was right. “Well Why The Fuck Not?”

“Okay, you can not call me whiplash if you are going to act like that.” Luna sighed. She put her hand out so he would hand her the camera back but that was when one of the couch pillows came flying and smacked the blonde in the head, who immediately sent off an explosion in his hands.

Bakugo marched over to the couch yelling about who it was, Poor Mina fessing up.

Luna stood there frozen, staring at the pieces of her camera on the ground. “You broke my camera…..” she whispered in shock

“What Was That?!” he yelled turning to look at her.

“You broke my camera.” She repeated a little louder, her hair falling in her face and her fist closing.

“Speak Up!” He marched over to her

Now despite her height of 5’3 Luna had a lot of physical power, combine that with him not expecting it and you get Bakugo on his ass on the ground with a swelling cheek and Luna with busted knuckles. “YOU BROKE MY FUCKING CAMERA!! Was That Loud Enough For You, Asshole?!”

That was enough to make almost everyone freeze, almost. Iida did come across the room spouting something about not fighting.

Bakugo was getting back to his feet, Now completely pissed but before he could say or do anything a wall divided the two of them.

As entertaining as watching his sister kick the boy’s ass would have been Shoto knew it had to be stopped. After dividing the two he moved to Luna’s side. “Come on, let's go.” He spoke ushering her up the stairs, although he did call back over his shoulder. “You may want to put some ice on that cheek.”

“You Icy-Hot Bastard! Both Of You Get Back Here!” Bakugo called after them, starting to follow only to be stopped by Kirishima.

“Bro stop. It isn’t worth it.”

--------------------- Shinso had heard some kind of commotion from up in his room and was coming out to figure out what happened when he ran into Luna and Shoto. “Hey, what’s going on?” He asked then actually got a better look at his girlfriend. “Why is your hand bleeding?”

“Bakugo blew up my camera then got in my face so I punched him.” Luna answered looking down, now that her anger was fading she was starting to feel very bad about reacting like that. “Blowing up the camera was an accident and I would have been okay with an apology but then getting in my face…. I really should go apologize...”

“Maybe give it a little time before you do that.” Shoto spoke looking to her then to the other male. “Do you mind taking care of her, I should go clean up the ice.”

“Yeah of course.” He agreed then watch Shoto head back downstairs. Shinso turned to Luna. “I thought we talked about keeping your temper in check.” he commented, teasing softly

“We talk about a lot of things so that particular conversation is slipping my mind.” She offered him a playful smile.

“Covenant.” he smiled sightly. “Let’s get your hand cleaned up and wrapped up.” When she nodded he took her uninjured hand and walked her back to his room where he had a first aid kit to do just that. Once that was done, the two of them curled up and watched cat videos.

It was a couple hours later before the two of them finally left the safety of his room and headed downstairs to find Bakugo. When they found him, he was in the kitchen. Shinso couldn’t help but feel a little proud when he saw the bruise along the boy’s cheek but he kept that to himself. Luna on the other hand felt horrible upon seeing it.

“Hey Bakugo?...” She spoke up, looking over to where he was preparing food.

“What do you want, Redbrook?” He replied over his shoulder.

“I wanted to say that I was sorry for punching you…..I overreacted to the situation and you didn’t actually deserve it…”

He stopped and actually turned to her. “Fine. I’m sorry for breaking your old shitty camera. Icy-Hot didn’t say why but he did say it was important to you.” Bakugo started to turn back to his task but stopped to toss her something. “We managed to save most of your pictures on that.”

Luna looked down at the SD card in her hand, a smile creeping across her face. “Thank you.”

“Whatever..” He brushed it off and went back to his cooking. “You’ll have to show me how you managed to throw a punch like that later.”

She laughed softly. “It was mostly just timing but if that is what you want then sure thing.” She then turned to Shinso. “Come on, let's go. We don’t want to wear out our welcome.” She then lead him out of the kitchen and into the common room.

“You know it really is a shame your camera broke, you were actually pretty good, but even I know you needed to replace it for a while now. So why haven’t you?”

She shrugged. “I hadn’t pulled the money together for the one I want yet.”

“And?” He knew there had to be more to it than that.

Luna sighed. “The and goes with a much longer and sadder story but basically it was the last gift that my father sent me from his travels before he completely disappeared.” She turned to look at him. “I really don’t want to talk about it anymore. Okay?” She had made a promise to be more open with him and she was doing her best but there was just some facets of her past she didn’t want to drag people into, especially someone she cared about so much.

The Purple haired male nodded. It wasn’t hard to see there was more under the surface but he decided to save that for another day. “Yeah, okay.”

“So moving on then. What would you like to do now?” Luna asked holding up the SD card. “Because if it were left up to me we would be see which pictures they managed to save.”

“Wait we want to see too!!” A loud female voice exclaimed, who turned out to be Mina, making Luna jump and Shinso crack a smile at her reaction. While the two of them were walking and talking they had made it into the lounge area where some of their classmates were hanging out and neither of them had noticed at first.

Luna took a moment to calm her heart rate before looking at the girl. “Really?”

Mina nodded. “You have been taking pictures since our first year and now we are almost half was through our second and I don’t think any of us have seen them. Well besides Shinso and Todoroki and maybe Diamond.” She then turned to the rest of the group. “You want to see them too, right?”

Each of them nodded or verbally agreed but Aoyama was the one had the best response with a lot of flourishment to his words. “Oui bien sûr, I must see if you were truly able to capture the full essence of my sparkling.”

Luna laughed softly. “I hate to disappoint all of you but those pictures are all upstairs on my computer and external storage.” She held up the SD card. “These are really just landscape and scenery around the school.” She sighed seeing their faces drop. “But I guess since my computer is a laptop and the external storage is portable that I could move it down here and hook it up to the TV to show you all.” That brought their smiles back and Luna couldn’t help but smile as well. “I’ll be right back then.” She then headed upstairs to her room to get her things.

“Well I guess this is what we are doing then….” Shinso sighed scratching the back of his neck when she returned and was getting it set up.

“Not unless that is what you want to do, which I’m assuming it’s not.” Luna replied to him before moving to pull Diamond, who was off on her own, over. “Will you please play host to this photo gallery since you know how these are organized?” she asked.

The blue haired girl nodded to her with a small smile. “Sure thing.”

“You don’t want to stay and hear what they have to say?” He asked looking down at the raven haired girl as she moved over to his side.

Luna shook her head. “I will hear about it later besides you have been dealing with the fall out of my drama all day so it’s time to do what you want to, for the next several weeks.”

He cracked a smile at that. “I don’t know about the next several weeks, Kitten, but if you insist about today then let's go for a walk.”

Her smile grew. “Sounds great.”

With that the two headed out of the building to walk around the UA campus and leaving Diamond in charge of the pictures their classmates were seeing.

[lindseyluvsdrag]

It Takes Two Ch.1

Third installment of my Knocked Up series. Parts 1 & 2 here

Warning: Smut, violence, the tears of an advanced 2.5 year old

Ignore any typos :)

“Matthewwww!” Violet shouted from the couch. “Hurry up, it's starting!”

“I'm comin’!” the man replied as he snatched the bag of popcorn from the microwave. It was a little premature but he dumped the contents into a bowl before rushing back into the living room. He jumped over the back of the couch and landed onto his favorite spot next to his wife.

Their two year old daughter had spread her favorite Storm blanket onto the hardwood floor and was sprawled out next to her best friend, Shea. Her Aunt Raven watched the woman through judgemental eyes.

“Why is she even here?” she asked her wife.

“Because the Lents like her. Hell, she used to be one of them.”

Raven cringed. “That's so disgusting, like, shel shouldn't be here. Just because she speaks comic book, doesn't give her the right to call our Goddaughter her ‘best friend’. Do you know how weird that is?”

Naomi exhaled in expression. “She's a really nice lady and Violet wanted her here for the viewing so just get over it.”

“Ssshhhhh!” Violet demanded as she turned up the volume on the TV.

“This week on Bridezillas!” the narrator announced. “Meet Violet.”

Footage of the woman flashed across the screen. “I'm Violet Chachki and I'm a one of a kind collectable. I'm veryyyy visually appealing.”

“A New York fashionista by day and a tyrant by night.”

Violet gasped. “Tyrant?! I was not a tyrant!”

“Matthew! Matthewwww! You’re so full of shit, Matthew! *Bleep* you, Matthew!” They showed  clips of the woman shouting that had be edited together to create a montage of her greatness. “I want chocolate cake! Bloated?! No! Get the fuck away from me! Naomi! Na-o-mi! Naomiiiiiii!”

Matt burst into laughter.

“She'll take you on a rollercoaster ride and leave you with a surprise ending that you'll have to see to believe.”

“We got a runaway bride, y'all!”

They'd edited Raven's voice over the footage of Violet and Naomi sprinting down the busy New York street.

“Coming up on Bridezillassss!”

“This is going to be so good,” Matt said as he stuffed his mouth with popcorn.

“I want some too!” Clark declared.

“Open,” Matt replied.

His daughter obliged. She opened her mouth and allowed her father to toss popcorn kernels into in.

“Yum-my,” she said when he managed to land the first few pieces perfectly.

Violet frowned. “Matthew, I don't want her to choke.”

Matt passed the entire bowl over to his daughter before wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulder and pulling her close so that he could kiss her temple.

Raven rolled her eyes and stormed into the kitchen. The woman popped open the first bottle of wine that she could find, pressed it to her lips and turned it upside down. A voice behind her shortly thereafter made her jump.

“I would ask you to share, but I'm trying to get pregnant and drinking is against doctor's orders,” Shea joked.

Raven scowled. “As if I'd share anything with you.”

The woman defensively raised her hands while she grabbed the popcorn that Clark had asked her to make. She placed the packet into the microwave and pressed the corresponding button.

“Why are you here?” the woman pressed. “Dealing with Matthew is bad enough, but to bring his baggage into my best friend's house is just too much for me.”

“I'm here because Violet invited me. We've actually gotten really close since the wedding, especially since she gifted me with her Paris tickets.”

“You've known her for like five minutes.”

“I mean, that's all it takes to get to know someone. That and a little shopping at Neiman's.”

“Yo-You’ve gone shopping together?”

“Oh, plenty of times,” Shea said truthfully. “We even looked at potential furniture for the nursery.”

“Maybe she just feels bad that you can't have a baby,” Raven hissed.

Out of respect for the Lent’s home, the woman remained calm. “Is that so? Maybe she feels bad that neither can your wife.” Shea didn't even wait for the microwave to beep before she popped the hatch, grabbed the bag and casually exited the room.

Raven saw nothing but red as she flung the wine bottle at the other woman. It landed against her head in a loud thump.

Everything after that was a blur. The woman's tunnelled vision was paired with echoing yells and Clark's cries. When Raven finally snapped out of the trance, she realized that she'd made it home. Naomi was seated in the corner across the room, knocking the ashes off of the cigarette that she puffed on.

“Have you come to your fucking senses yet?”

“What happened?” Raven asked.

“You nearly killed Shea!”

“No, babe, she said some really fucked up shit!”

“Like what? Tell me what is horrible enough to get a bottle thrown at your head! And don't lie because I know your ass started it.”

“As a matter of fact, I was defending your ass! She was saying how she shops with Vi and how they're the best of friends and I was brutally honest with her. I told her that Vi probably just feels bad that she can't have kids and she was all like well neither can your wife. How was I supposed to respond to that?!”

“Seriously, Raven? If you're going to be with me, you have to develop a tougher skin than that. I heard crap like that, and way worse, growing up. You can't attack everyone who talks shit. You can't attack the world.”

“If the world tries to hurt you, I will.”

Naomi sighed as she extinguished the cancer stick. “I appreciate the gesture, but that's not how the world works.” The woman pushed herself out of her seat. “Get your coat.”

Raven frowned. “Where are we going?”

“To get some flowers, then to the hospital.”

---

“I walk out of the kitchen and the next thing I know is that I'm seeing stars,” Shea joked. “Like goddamn, is this what I get for undercooking the popcorn?”

Matt and Violet laughed.

“Only you could make a situation like this funny,” the man said.

Clark climbed from the foot of the bed to Shea's side. “Are you sureee you're okay?”

“Besides being a little dizzy, yes, I'm fine.”

“But what about this?” the girl asked as she gently touched the gauze bandage around the woman's head.

“It only hurts a little but I'll be fine, Clark. How are you feeling?”

“Still scared,” she sniffled. “I never saw a lot of blood on the floor before.”

Matt frowned and pulled his daughter into an embrace. “It's okay, boo,” he cooed as he rocked her.

There was a knock on the door before the doctor entered the room.

“So, I have some blood work results. I'm not sure if you want it shared privately or…”

“No, it's fine. What's up?”

“Okay, so, your blood work shows that you have very low iron levels. You're pretty much anemic.”

Shea frowned. “Um, okay, so what does that mean?”

“It means that you've been trying to conceive a baby, but research has shown that women who don’t get enough iron can develop anovulation. That is the lack of ovulating during the menstrual cycle. Low iron levels may also affect the health of the egg to be fertilized. It can diminish your ability to get pregnant by as much as sixty percent.”

“Sixty?! Holy sparkles,” she said, her new cuss word replacement whilst around Clark. “So what do I have to do to fix it?”

“I'm prescribing you some iron pills and recommending food rich in iron and other minerals to help you and the baby out.”

Her eyes grew wide. “B-Baby?”

“Oh, yes. Your blood work also shows that you're currently pregnant.”

“Oh my God!”

“Are we seriously going to be those friends that are knocked up at the same time?!” Violet laughed before hugging the woman. “Congratulations!”

It was a bittersweet moment for Matt. He squeezed his ex's hand. “Congrats.”

The gears in Clark's head were obviously turning. “So there's a baby in Miss Shea's stomach too?”

“Allegedly,” Shea replied.

The girl wrinkled her nose. “How does the baby get in the stomach?”

“Anddddd that's my cue,” Matt said as he turned on his heel and exited the room with the girl in his arms. “Want a soft pretzel?”

“Yes!”

The women burst into laughter.

“The universe works in the craziest ways because we literally just looked at furniture for nurseries,” Violet said. “Now you get to pick out your own.”

“I wouldn't be so quick about this. I've been pregnant before and it usually ends horribly.”

“This one won't,” Violet assured. “We'll keep you on those pills and make sure you eat nickels or some shit.”

“Aww, I love nickels!”

The women cackled just as Naomi hesitantly  entered the room. She cleared her throat before she spoke. “I can't express how sorry I am that this happened to you. Because I'm married to Raven, I automatically bare some of the responsibilities for her mistakes. And from the bottom of my heart, I'm truly sorry,” she sniffled.

“You're married to a goddamn neanderthal, sweetheart,” Shea replied. “And I swear that whenever I see her again, I'm going to kill her. I hope that you have life insurance on her, I hope that you have a burial plot for her and I hope that you have a little black dress ready to wear because I'm literally going to stomp her into the ground- as a matter of fact, you won't even need a funeral home to do the job for you. I’m going to bury that bitch,” she fumed.

“No, no,” Violet intervened. “You won't be doing anything like that.”

“Violet, I understand that she's one of your best friends but she threw a full fucking bottle of wine at my head! I have twenty stitches because of her!”

“I know and it's not even about her being my friend, Shea. You're pregnant.”

Naomi nauseously clutched her abdomen. “You're pregnant?” she wheezed out.

“She is,” Violet responded.

“Oh, God,” Naomi panted.

Her friend pushed herself out of her seat. “Are you okay?”

“No! How am I supposed to feel knowing that Raven has attacked this poor pregnant woman 'in my honor’?!”

“To be fair, I didn't know that I was pregnant until a few minutes ago.”

“It’s not fair,” Naomi sniffled. “She shouldn't be attacking people to begin with and I just feel terrible.”

“Where is she?” Violet asked.

“I told her to wait in the lobby. I wasn't sure if you wanted to see her.”

“Not really,” Shea admitted.

“Me either,” Violet said. “For one, she disrespected my home. Two, she traumatized my fucking daughter, which is damn near unforgivable. Three, she ruined my Bridezilla viewing party and my hardwood floors. Four, she left like an idiot without a goddamn apology.”

“Would you guys be willing to accept an apology from her now?”

Shea casually checked her nails while Violet mindlessly twirled a strand of her hair. “No,” they said collectively before laughing.

Naomi was heartbroken. “That's fair. Um, I guess I'll get going. I hope you feel better soon, Shea. Vi... I'll call you later.”

“Alright, sweetie.” Violet kissed her friend on the cheek before turning back to Shea. “We have to figure out how far along you are! Come to my gyno’s office.”

“I'm down.”

“Do you think our morning sickness will be synced up?”

Shea laughed. “Let’s hope not. But seeing you throw up would totally make me throw up, though.”

“Well, we can't both vomit at the same time. Who will hold back our hair?”

The question was trivial but it hit Naomi in a way that reminded her that she'd never experience  pregnancy or be able to have sweet moments like this with her best friend. With tears in her eyes, she slipped out of the room and made her way towards the lobby where Raven greeted her.

“What happened?”

“Shea is pregnant.”

The woman gulped. “I didn't... I didn't hurt the baby, did I?”

“No. I mean, as far as I know. But God, Raven. Why do you have to be so fucking psychotic?!” Naomi stormed pass her wife and out of the hospital doors but Raven was quick on her heels.

“I'm not psychotic!”

“You burn things and you attack people, what else would you call that?!”

“Protective!”

“Oh, yeah,” she scoffed. “Protect me from my best friend who now hates you and wants hardly anything to do with me because of it.”

Raven paused. “Vi hates me?”

“She's livid for the following reasons: you disrespected her home. You traumatized CC, which will never forgive you for. You ruined her Bridezilla viewing party and her hardwood floors. You left without apologizing.”

“I’m sorry, I blacked out! I could apologize now and-”

“It's too late to apologize, Raven! You can't react in situations now and think later! That's how people in up incarcerated for murder!”

The woman pondered for a second. “Surprisingly, I've never been to jail.”

Naomi threw her arms up in exasperation and proceeded to storm to the car. Raven sighed and followed suit, climbing into the driver's seat before speeding out of the parking lot. The wives rode home in silence. When they made it inside the condo, Naomi made it a point to slam every door, window and cabinet that she came in contact with.

The tantrum quickly waned on Raven's nerves.

“Alright, can you tell me exactly how long you plan on being mad? The slamming is giving me a headache.”

“You know who else has a headache?! Shea does!”

“Fuck Shea! I don't give a fuck about Shea!”

“So you have no remorse for what you did to her?”

“I have no remorse for defending my wife, no.”

Naomi burst into tears. “I can't be the reason that you hurt by people!” She stormed into the bedroom and tossed herself onto the king sized mattress.

“Babeee,” Raven groaned as she followed her. She climbed onto the bed next to her wife and stroked the woman's hair. “Please don't cry. Please.”

“Leave me alone,” Naomi sobbed.

“Never,” Raven promised as she kissed her wife's shoulder then neck, then jaw. She returned to her neck and began to suck on it.

“Stopppp,” her wife weakly protested.

The woman continued and eventually got Naomi to roll over so that she could kiss her tears away. “Baby, please don't be mad at me.”

She didn't respond but Raven refused to give up, kissing along her wife’s neck and chest before traveling down her body. When she slid down her skirt and thong, Naomi finally relented to the woman's touch.

Raven wasted no time in doing everything she could to orally please her lover, practically worshipping her clit with her mouth while her fingers explored her sugar walls.

Naomi had given in, but she didn't want the woman to think that what she had done was acceptable. She formed her mouth to say something but when Raven flipped her onto her stomach as she pulled the dildo from the nightstand drawer, she decided that it'd be best to wait.

“You have the most perfect ass,” Raven whispered, kissing her wife's right cheek prior to giving it a firm slap. Naomi whimpered in pleasure so Raven did it again, then again. When she felt like the flushed skin had had enough, the woman gave her lover's smooth ass tender kisses to make up for it. “So which hole will I be pounding tonight?”

“It doesn't matter, just fuck me,” Naomi pleaded.

“Then your perfect ass it is.” Raven quickly strapped on the eight inch dildo they'd named Big Ben prior to retrieving the tingle inducing lube from the nightstand. She smeared the gel all over her wife's apple shaped bottom and the realistic strap-on before spreading her wife's cheeks and sliding in the tip.

Naomi gasped as she clutched the sheets while Raven continued to inch the silicone member into her. When the full length was nestled inside of the woman's ass, Raven gave her wife a moment to adjust before sliding out and gently entering again.

“Fuck,” Naomi moaned.

“You like that, baby?” she asked as she picked up her thrusting pace.

“Yes! Oh God, yes.”

Raven pulled the woman closer by her hips and continued to pound into her wife until she was panting and begging her not to stop as she climaxed.

“You're so fucking beautiful. I love making you cum all over this cock.”

Naomi wasn't in the mood for dirty talk as she collected herself enough to dismount the penis.

“Wanna ride it now?” Raven asked.

“No,” she sighed as she grabbed her skirt and tossed it into the hamper. The woman made her way to the bathroom door way before pausing and turning around. “Do you seriously not have any remorse for what you did to Shea?”

Raven unclipped the strap-on. “Nope,” she chirped.

“And if it costs me my friendship with Violet, would you feel remorse then?”

“What I did has nothing to do with her.”

“Yes it does! You attacked someone in her house! You disrespected my best friend!”

“She didn't want my apology so fuck her!”

“Don’t talk about her like that!”

“You seriously want to argue with me about Violet? Violet isn't your wife! Violet doesn't fuck you the way that I fuck you! Violet doesn't love you the way that I love you!”

“I'd rather be celibate and have her in my life than be married to someone who doesn't care enough to respect my friend of 25 years.”

“Are you seriously choosing Violet over me?”

Naomi took a deep breath. “Yeah...I guess I am.”

Raven laughed in disbelief. “Do you realize that I'm the woman that saved your fucking life? I pushed you out of the way of a car driven by a transphobic lunatic that was trying to kill you! I lost my memory, hell, I almost lost my fucking life for you!”

“Sometimes I regret that your memory did come back,” was all Naomi could say.

The expression on Raven's face made the woman's stomach twist into knots. “What do you mean?”

“I never wanted to marry a female,” she blurted. “But gender is boundless and you made me realize that was love too, but fuck, Raven. Maybe if you hadn't gotten your memory back…maybe if we hadn't have gotten married, you wouldn't be this way. You're... insane.”

The word seemed to trigger the woman but instead of exploding, an eerily calm demeanor took its place. “Insane?”

“Yes! At first I thought your temper was a little sexy, but now you've gone too far- and with no remorse! I can't take it anymore.”

“So... you're leaving me?”

Naomi sighed. “I'm spending the night at a hotel so that I can clear my head but honestly... I don't think this is fixable.”

“Okay,” Raven said nonchalantly.

“Alright,” the woman replied as she turned on her heel and entered the walk-in closet.

After getting dressed, she grabbed her suitcase and began stuffing her designer clothing into it. When she was finished packing, Naomi wheeled her luggage into the bedroom. She didn't see Raven, but her heart stopped when she saw the trail of blood leading out of the room. “Raven!” She dropped her suitcase and dashed into the living room, then all over the rest of the house, but the woman was nowhere to be found. “Raven!”

---

Violet sat up in bed, flipping through the latest issue of Vogue Italia while Matt walked his fingers along her belly as he read through his expectant father's book.

“Tomorrow can't come fast enough,” he sighed. “Shea is going to this appointment with us?”

“Technically, yes. She has her own apartment to see how far along she is and whatnot.”

"And we're what? Twelve weeks along?”

The woman nodded.

“Twelve weeks...twelve weeks,” the man mumbled as he flipped through the pages of his book. He stopped on the corresponding section. “‘At twelve weeks, your baby's face looks unquestionably human’.” Matt cackled. “His eyes have moved from the sides of his head to the front of his head-”

“Why do they always gender the damn fetus in these books?” Violet asked. “Protest.”

Matt laughed and continued to read. “‘And his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long and weighs half an ounce. Your baby is about the size of a lime’.”

“Matthew, stop. That's making me nauseous.”

The man closed the book. “So, do you want a girl or a boy this time?”

“Doesn't matter. So long as they're healthy.”

“You say that like Clark isn't healthy.”

Just then, a message poured into their walkie talkie.

“Daddy, come quick! Magento is under my bed and wants to steal all of my friends!”

“I rest my case,” Violet said.

Matt gave the woman a playful nudge on the arm before making his way towards the exit.

“Ugh, how dare they put this crap in Vogue,” Violet groaned as she grabbed her cell phone. She dialed her best friend.

“Hello?” Naomi sniffled.

“Girl, why is there capri gauchos in this issue of Vogue Italia? It's disgusting and disrespectful…but it's nothing to cry over. What's wrong?”

---

“I’m going to ask you again,” one lieutenant hissed at Naomi. The frazzled woman nervously sat across from him and his partner, trying to suppress more tears as they relentlessly interrogated her. “Do you know where your wife could've gone?”

“No! For the fifth time, no! My wife is missing and you act like I had something to do with it!”

“Well did you?” the other officer asked. “Here, I'll give you a scenario: you two were in the middle of a fight. She said that she was leaving you. In a blind rage, you attack her. 'If I can't have you, no one can!’ You snap out of it and see what you'd done and you hide the body.”

"That explains the luggage and why she left her cell phone and purse,” the first lieutenant added.

“No, that is my luggage! I was packing and when I left the room, she was gone and so was her car!   And when I saw the blood, I called you guys! I'd never hurt my wife!”

“I'm going to hurt you!” Naomi heard Violet shout. “Where is Naomi?! You'd better tell me where she is now or I'll slaughter your entire division in my magazine!”

The lieutenants looked at each other. “Who is that?”

“My best friend. The one that called.”

“Ma'am, put the high heel down! I will taze you!”

“She's pregnant!” Naomi informed as she pushed herself out of her seat, then out of the room. “Don’t taze her!” she pleaded. “Violet, calm down.”

The woman returned the five inch makeshift weapon to her foot. “Are you okay, honey? Did they hurt you?”

“No, I'm fine but the questioning-”

“Questioning for what?! You didn't do anything!” She turned to the nearest detective. “She didn't do anything and you won't be saying another thing to her without her lawyer present!”

“The reason that I didn't lawyer up was because I had nothing to hide,” Naomi admitted. “I just need to know what happened to Raven,” she sniffled.

“Well, did you call her parents?”

Naomi was perplexed. “Parents? She told me that her parents were dead.”

“What? No, they're alive. They live in Rochester.”

---

“I came in here to fight Magento. How did I end up with fingernail polish on?” Matt asked his daughter as she splattered globs of coral nail polish on his fingers.

“Because it's your color,” Clark replied.

“Fair enough,” he sighed.

“Daddy, you're so prettyyyy!”

“Thank you, pudding. You want me to paint yours now?”

“Yes!” Clark rushed into her closet and returned shortly after with an ice blue shade of polish. She handed it to her father.

“Ooo, this is cute.”

“It's my color,” the girl chirped as she flopped to the floor in front of him and placed her small hand in his.

“Really? I've always liked red on you.”

“I like red too! Can we do both?”

“And make purple?”

Clark wrinkled her nose in confusion. “Purple?”

“Yes. When you mix red and blue together, it makes purple.”

“Oh...no. I just want blue today. Like Iceman.”

Matt smiled as he opened the small bottle. He began to carefully paint each of the girl's tiny fingernails.  

When he finished one hand, Clark did a quality check. “You're a good painter, Daddy.”

“Thank you, boo. Can I have a kiss for all my hard work?”

“Finish the other hand first.”

He laughed. “Okay, princess.”

---

By the time Raven arrived at her parent's house, it was two in the morning. She pulled up the winding driveway, rushed up to the front door and began to pound on it. Moments later, her arthritic father opened the door with a baseball bat in hand. “Raven?! Baby, are you okay?! What are you doing here so late?!”

She pushed past the man and entered the house.

“Dad, you're 55 with rheumatoid arthritis. What the fuck were you going to do with a bat?”

Raven stomped along the beautiful homes marble flooring just as her mother descended the stairs. “We thought you were a burglar!”

“You should be so lucky,” she grumbled.

When the woman noticed her daughter's hostile demeanor, disheveled appearance and  bandaged wrist, she knew that the horror had begun all over again. She swiftly rushed over to her. “So honey, how are you? It feels like we haven't heard from you in months.”

“That's because you haven't,” she replied.

“Well, we love you and we'd love to have you around more often t-”

“Yeah, that's what you said before you tried to send me to prison.”

“Honey, that wasn't prison. It was a hospital. You were sick.”

“Bullshit,” Raven groaned. “Did you cook?” she asked as she made her way towards the refrigerator.

Her mother followed her. “Well, if you aren't sick, what happened to your wrist?”

“I cut it while shaving,” she attempted to joke as she opened the refrigerator doors. Her mother rolled her eyes. Raven grabbed a turkey leg and a handful of shredded cheese.

“Raven...is that a wedding ring?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I got married,” she said nonchalantly.

“When?!” her mother demanded.

“Three...four months ago? Yeah, four months ago.” Raven took a bite of the turkey and topped it off with the cheese.

“Honey, why didn't you invite us to your wedding? Tell me about him. Do you love him?”

Raven scowled. “I married a woman.”

“Oh... I forgot that's legal now.”

“This is why I didn't tell you! You're fucking ignorant!”

“Oh, stop it, Raven! You know we're not bigots. I just thought you would've married someone like Nigel.”

“Don't... mention... Nigel,” Raven snarled. “I haven't seen him since the summer before college...since he filed the restraining order.”

Her mother sighed. “I'm just taking it all in. I'd love to meet your wife, darling.”

“She left me.”

The woman wasn't surprised. “Oh... I'm so sorry, baby. Do you think you'll be able to work it out?”

“Not if she keeps picking Violet over me,” Raven hissed.

“Violet Chachki? That girl you went to college with?”

“Yes, mother!” she exploded. “In fact, I met all of my friends in college because everyone from high school hated me! I tried to get away from them and from you! But the one time you pop up on me you blurted all of your information to Violet like an idiot! Nobody cares! You just wanted to be nosy, mother!”

“It was your first year of college and you didn't want to include me in anything!”

“Because I was so excited to get away from you! Do you not understand that growing up here was torture?!”

By this point, her mother was sobbing. “Raven, we provided you with everything you could've ever wanted.”

“Yeah, yeah and you act like that included the psych ward. I didn't want to go to therapy or take meds mother. There's nothing wrong with me. I just love hard and I get emotional.”

“Stalking Nigel and pummeling that the poor girl that he was dating was loving hard?”

Raven angrily swiped the glass vase off of the counter, forcing it to shatter against the tile floor. “I told you not to mention him!”

Out of sheer fear of what the woman was capable of, her mother turned on her heel and quickly retreated up the stairs to her bedroom, locking the door behind her.

“I don't know why you even bother with her,” the woman's husband sighed as he adjusted his pillow. “Borderline personality disorder isn't curable.”

“I don't care if it's incurable. She's my daughter.”

Raven sank to the floor, sobbing as she rocked. “Why can't I think cleary?” She gathered up enough strength to crawl into the living room towards the bookshelf. The woman wiped her eyes, grabbed her high school yearbook and quickly began to flip through it. When she found the senior section, she quickly spotted the brown eyed boy who bore a striking resemblance to her spouse in body type and complexion. Tear drop after tear drop splashed on the glossy pages of the book as the memories of what happened years ago began to haunt the woman all over again.

---

The girl eagerly checked her braces in the compact mirror before slamming it closed when she saw the boy. She quickly stood, smoothed her pigtails and rushed over to him.

“Hi, Nigel!”

“Whoaaa, um, hey...Raj-”

“Raven,” she chirped. “How are you?”

“I'm good.”

“That's good! I mean, I'm glad that you're good because that makes me happy and-”

“Hey, Nigel!” one of the boy's football teammates yelled from across campus. “Let's go, we'll be late for practice!”

“I'm coming!” he shouted back. “Listen, um, Ruby-”

“Raven,” the girl corrected for the second time.

“Raven. I'll see you later.”

“Okay!” she said excitedly. “I'll see you later.”

The boy turned made his way towards his friends.

“See you later,” Raven repeated to herself as she smoothed her hair. “I'll see...you,” she emphasized, “later.” The girl winked. “It's a date.”

After football practice, Raven waited for the boy to exit the locker room and when he did, she skipped over to him and his friends.

“Hi, Nigel!”

The boy gave a casual head nod but continued to walk. She followed.

“So, I was wonderinggggg, since, ya know... homecoming is coming up. If you'd like to go?”

The boy's friends let out low, teasing grumbles.

“I’m pretty sure I'm homecoming king. Of course I'm going.”

“Really?! That's so amazing! I mean, I voted for you three times even though you're only supposed to vote once.”

“Thanks,” he said flatly.

"I can't wait to see you there.”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Why don't you ask her to be your date?” one of his friends pressed while the others suppressed their laughter.

Raven took in an excited breath.

Nigel punched the jokester on the arm. “I’m already going with Tatianna.”

The girl's face fell. “It’s okay,” she assured. “Just seeing you there will be awesome.”

Before Nigel could utter an uncomfortable 'ditto’, Raven's mother honked as she pulled up behind her.

“Oh! Time to go dress shopping. I'll see you guys later!” Raven skipped towards the car before abruptly stopping and turning around. “Nigel, what color vest are you wearing? If you don't mind me asking.”

“I don't know yet,” he lied. “I have to go shopping too and-”

“He's wearing blue!” one of the other boys shouted.

“Oh my God, I love blue! Okay, see you guys later!” Raven rushed the rest of the distance to her mother's car and hopped inside. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart. Is that the one that asked you to homecoming?”

“Yes,” she said, practically melting as she waved goodbye to the boy.

“Hello, Nigel!” her mother politely greeted with a wave before speeding off.

“God, even her Mom knows my name?” the boy groaned.

“Well, duh, you're her future son-in-law,” his friends teased.

“Fuck all the way off.”

---

Raven felt adorable in her knee length blue, taffeta dress. She added a bejeweled belt and a diamond clip in her barrel curled hair for flare. The girl strutted into the cafeteria and she wasn't surprised to see Nigel and Tatianna on the dance floor but it didn't hurt nonetheless. She got herself a glass of punch before picking a spot against the wall so that she could watch the boy and the girl as they slow danced.

Nigel's drunken hands explored Tatianna’s body while his lips aggressively took her neck.

“Babe...babe, stop,” she protested.

“Come on, girl,” he slurred. “You look good enough to eat.”

“I know this, but that doesn't give you the right to be sloppy.”

The boy scoffed. “Just get over here.” He snatched her closer to him by the waist.

Tatianna shoved him away before slapping the boy across the face. “I demand respect! If you won't give it to me, I'm out of here!” The girl stormed towards the exit, quickly followed by her date who was quickly followed by Raven.

Tatianna hopped into her car.

“Tati, come on!” Nigel pleaded. “You're being dramatic!”

“Fuck you!” the girl said as she sped off.

“Bitch,” he groaned, pulling the flask from his pocket to take another sip of vodka.

“Nigel, are you okay?” Raven asked.

The boy looked at her and nodded.

She sighed in relief. “Good. Nobody deserves to be slapped... especially someone as beautiful as you.”

“Oh, yeah?” He took another sip and returned the flask to his jacket pocket. “You're sorta beautiful too.”

The girl's entire face became a heated furnace.  “Re-Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Y-You want to go inside and dance? They're playing a slow song.”

“Nahhh,” he slurred. “I got a better idea.” Nigel grabbed Raven's hand and she could've fainted then and there.

It was her dreams finally becoming reality as he led her to his car.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Nowhere,” he assured as he opened the back door and ushered her in while he followed and closed the door. Raven smoothed her dress but it was wrinkled once again when the boy leaned in for a kiss. The girl was so excited that she threw her hands up, only to have them hit the roof of the car.

“Sorry, Nigel,” she grumbled.

“It's okay,” the boy told her while he pulled away to dig into his glove compartment.

When Raven saw the condom, her eyes grew wide. She loudly cleared her throat.

“Is there a problem?”

“No! I mean, um, no,” she said more calmly. “I just want to get to know you and um, well I already know a lot about you like your schedule and your favorite thing to eat at lunch and I really don't want to sound weird, you know, I used to work in the cafeteria and I volunteered in the front office so I just happened to notice these things but I really, really, really like you and-”

He cut her off with another kiss. “I like your braces.”

The melted girl thanked him and she was like putty in his hands as he leaned her onto the seat before reaching underneath her skirt. When his hand found her panties Raven became tense.

“There's probably something that I should tell you.”

“What?”

“I'm a virgin.”

He smiled. “Nothing wrong with that.” The boy reached into his pocket, grabbed the flask and handed it to her. “Sip and you'll be fine.”

Raven sat up and gulped the liquid before groaning at her first taste of alcohol. “That's so grossss.”

“Yeah...but it'll help you relaxxx.”

The girl hung onto every word that left the boy's lips. She nodded and drank some more. “Wooo! Hello, relaxation.”

Nigel smiled and proceeded to remove the girl's panties. He tossed them over his shoulder, making Raven laugh while he removed his pants and slid on the condom onto his dick. The entire scenario was just how Raven had imagined it. Besides her first time being on their wedding night, she knew that staring into his brown eyes right before they made love would be just like this.

He positioned himself over the girl and he slowly pushed himself inside of her. She winced at the pain, but she knew that the boy would be gentle and take care of her. Raven was more excited for the intimacy than the sex itself, watching the boy's every expression and attempting to match her exhales with his.

“You look beautiful,” she offered.

“I'm about to come,” was his response.

The girl's eyes grew wide in excitement. “That means I did good?”

“Fuck,” the boy moaned as he climaxed into the condom.

Raven smiled. We're such a perfect couple, she thought.

Nigel pulled out and groaned. “Fuck, you're bleeding.”

“Well, it doesn't hurt anymore,” the girl assured.

“My poor fucking seats. This needs to be cleaned, asap. Umm, I'll take you home.”

“Oh…okay.”

When the boy pulled in front of her house, Raven climbed out and made her way to the driver side window. “I had fun tonight. Although, I really wished we could've danced.”

Nigel chuckled. “Homecoming is overrated.” He grabbed the plastic crown that he'd won as homecoming king and placed it on the girl's head. “Goodnight.”

With a swelling heart, Raven stole a kiss. “Goodnight.”

The boy sped off, leaving the girl to twirl several times before skipping into the house.

“You're home early,” her mother said.

“Yeah, but it doesn't matter because Nigel loves meeee,” she squealed before rushing up the stairs to her laptop so that she could change her Facebook relationship status from ‘Single’ to 'In a Relationship’.

Monday morning Raven couldn't wait to see the boy that she'd dreamt about the entire weekend. Her heart exploded when she saw him, but before she could make her way over, Tatianna approached and kissed him.

The girl had no idea what to think, but she quickly made her way over to make her territory known.

“Hey, Nigel... what's going on?”

“What do you mean what's going on?” he asked.

Raven glanced between the boy and the smug Tatianna. “You're with me! You told me that I was beautiful! You made love to me on homecoming night! Y-You gave me your crown and kissed me goodnight!”

The boy clenched his jaw before exhaling. “I'm sorry.”

“You... You're sorry?” she asked in a broken voice. “You took my virginity.”

Tatianna groaned. “Okay, I'm ready to go. This is getting pathetic.”

“Nobody is talking to you, wench! At least I don't hit him!”

“I demand his respect and nothing less and as you can see, he comes back to me every time! Babe, tell her!”

Nigel sighed. “I'm with Tatianna. I love her. What we did on Saturday night was a drunken mistake.”

Tatianna rolled her neck as she reached into her purse and pulled out the Ziploc bag that carried Raven's panties. She tossed it at her. “And get your nasty underwear that you left in my man's car!”

The crowd that had now gathered let out a collective 'Oooooo’.

It was the last thing that Raven heard before her red tinted vision overwhelmed her. She lunged at Tatianna and began to slam the girl's head against the concrete.

Nigel was quick to pull Raven off of his girlfriend but the sidewalk was already stained with her blood.

“Oh, dear,” Raven exhaled as she dusted herself off. “What happened?”

---

“What happened, Raven?” her therapist asked.

“I don't know! All I remember is Tatianna throwing my underwear at me, after that Nigel was pulling me off of her and into his arms.”

“Are you sure that he was pulling you into his arms?”

“Uh, yeah,” Raven said as if was obvious. “Nigel loves me.”

“He told you that?”

“He didn't have to tell me. The way he looked into my eyes as we made love spoke volumes.”

“Raven... that boy was drunk. That's not love.”

The girl scowled. “You don't know what love is!” she exploded, pushing herself out of her seat then out of therapy completely.

---

After school was over for the day, Nigel made his way down his usual path to his car.

Raven jumped out of the shrubbery to greet him.“Hi, baby!”

“What the fuck!” the startled boy let out. “What the hell are you doing on campus, Raven?! You're expelled!”

She shushed him as she placed a finger to his lips. “Tatianna doesn't have her evil clutches to dig into you anymore. We can finally be together,” the girl panted breathlessly.

Nigel shoved her away. “Tatianna is in the hospital because of you! She's in so much pain and I hate to see her like that. This is your last chance to get the to fuck out of her before I call campus security.”

I love you, get out here before we're discovered, was what the girl heard. “Come with me, Nigel,” she exhaled.

“What?” the clearly confused boy asked.

Raven threw her arms around him. “Run away with me, darling.”

Nigel shoved the girl away yet again. “I'm not your darling! Get away from me!” He sprinted to his car but Raven was hot on his heels.

“With Tatianna out of the way, we can work this out! I love you and I know you love me! We can run away and be together forever!”

The boy climbed into his car and locked the doors. As he fumbled with the key, Raven smashed her face against the driver side window.  

“Until we meet again, my love!”

Nigel threw the car into gear, narrowly missing the girl as he smashed the gas.

Raven exhaled. “What a man.”

“Hey, you!” campus security shouted as he made his way towards her. The girl quickly took off.

---

“Raven, did you go to your old school today?” her mother asked over dinner.

“No,” she lied. “Why?”

“I got a call from the dean. He says the girl on the security camera hiding in the bushes before running after Nigel Carraway looks eerily similar to you.”

“Well it wasn't me,” she said defensively.

Despite knowing that she was lying, her mother just went with it. “Good. There's nothing there for you anymore. Private school is so much better, right?”

“No,” Raven grumbled. “It's all girls and they don't like me.”

“Honey, you'll make friends soon enough. You just have to open up and show them your amazing personality.”

“It’d be better if Nigel was there.”

The woman stabbed her asparagus out of sheer frustration. “Raven, I know that you were... intimate with this boy. And as humans, sometimes that makes us feel very attached to one another. But it's okay to move on if someone isn't interested in you.”

“Mom, I told you. We made love because we love each other and we're going to be together. We're thinking about eloping.”

Her mother nearly choked. “Elope?” She knew that the boy had no interest in the girl, but she was always careful to tiptoe around Raven's delusions. “Honey, you can't elope. You're just 17. You're still a baby.”

“I'm not a baby! Do babies have sex?!”

The woman sighed. “I guess not. Just promise me that you'll focus on your schooling and taking your meds.”

“I don't like those meds,” she protested. “I can't think clearly on them.”

“I spoke to Nigel's mother the other day…”

Raven’s eyes grew wide. “You spoke to Pam?! What'd she say?”

The woman put on a cheeky expression.

“Come on, Mommmm,” the girl pleaded. “Tell me!”

“She wants a daughter-in-law who is calm, cool and collected.”

“That's me!”

“That's what I told her...but you are a little high strung off of your medicine.”

“High strung? That's no good.”

“Not at all. Pam wouldn't like it at all and there's one thing you must do in a marriage. Impress your mother-in-law.”

Raven shrieked. “I'll go take my meds now!” She pushed herself out of her seat and rushed up the stairs. Her mother smiled and took a bite of her asparagus.

Raven entered the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and popped open the bottle of medication. She frowned.

“I don't like being foggy. If Pam can't accept me as I am...then fuck her.” The girl dumped the pills into the toilet and flushed them.

---

Nigel grinned when he woke to the smell of bacon on a Saturday morning. The boy stretched as he crawled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. “Ma, if you wanted me to do my chores, you didn't have to whip out my weakness. I'll..take out the...tras-” His heart practically stopped when he saw Raven in a sheer negligee pressing the bacon into the frying pan.

“Good morning, sweetheart. I made you breakfast.”

“Mom!” he shouted.

“She's gone,” Raven informed. “She left about 15 minutes ago... we're alone, baby,” she said lustfully.

“Raven...get the fuck out of my house or I'll call the cops!”

The girl laughed. “Babe, you're so funny. Come on. Have a seat so you can eat.”

The boy rushed over, gripped the girl's arm and began to drag her towards the exit. “Get out!”

“Sweetheart, you're hurting meeee.”

“Good! Get the fuck out!” Nigel shoved Raven so  hard that she fell to the floor.

When the girl hit the hardwood, in addition to her bones, something inside of her snapped. “Okay, Nigel... I'll go,” she said calmly as she pushed herself off of the floor. “Just let me get my purse.” Raven sauntered over to the counter and instead of grabbing her bag, she grabbed a sharp blade from the knife block and sliced her wrist.

“Fuck!” Nigel rushed over to the girl, snatched the knife from her hand and tossed it before calling 911.

---

Raven stared at the blandly painted wall as she laid on her side in the hospital bed. Her mother sat across from her. The woman had no idea what to say, but she was grateful that the boy had enough sense to call an ambulance instead of kicking her sick daughter out onto the street as she bled.

“Raven...Honey... I-”

“It's okay, Mom. I don't need a pep talk. Nigel doesn't love me and I'm learning to accept that.”

The woman grabbed her daughter's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Come in,” she said when she heard the knock on the door.

A young man neither of them recognized entered the room. “Are you Raven Petruschin?”

“Yes,” the girl replied.

Her mother was suspicious. “Why? Who are you?”

The man didn't respond as he handed Raven the orange envelope. “You've been served.”

“Are you kidding me?!” her mother shouted. “You don't serve people in the hospital!”

He rushed out of the room while Raven opened the envelope and pulled out the paperwork. She read a few lines. “It's a restraining order...from Nigel,” she said quietly.

“Oh, honey that just means-”

“I know what it means mother. It's okay. I understand.”

---

“I understand,” she said as she watched Nigel's house be consumed by the flames she'd set. “I understand.”

The fire was like a cleansing for the girl and she wanted to make sure that Nigel and his mother returned home from his football game to ashes.

She didn't understand why she had to stay away from Nigel. “If he's so bothered, he should stay away from me,” she grumbled.

He did just that when he moved states to attend college and to this day, he hates the smell of bacon and he kicks shrubbery outside of his house before walking to his car.

---

After having her braces removed, Raven strutted into school with a fresh haircut and an even fresher attitude. She enjoyed her last year of high school as one of most popular girls there and by the time she graduated, she knew that fashion was what she wanted to pursue.

---

“Ugh, that professor is totally buggingggg,” Violet groaned as they exited the college classroom. “A minimum of 200 words?! I can'tttt.”

“I don't think it's too bad,” Raven admitted. “I guess I'll start it now to get it out of the way. “What are you about to do?”

“Oh, I'm gonna to meet my friend Naomi for lunch then we're going to Neimans. Wanna come?”

“Sure.”

The duo made their way to the quad fountain and Raven stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the woman. She was a bronze goddess with perfect hair and full lips that Raven could imagine against hers. The woman was the female counterpart to Nigel and Raven was doing a pretty pathetic job at not staring.

“Naomi this is Raven and vice versa,” Violet said.

“H-Hi,” Raven stammered.

“Hey,” Naomi sweetly greeted. “I give hugs,” she said as she wrapped her arms around the other woman. Raven took in a sharp inhale and became intoxicated on the girl's lemongrass scented perfume. “It's nice to meet you,” Naomi added.

“Y-You too. Um, do you know someone by the name of Nigel Caraway?”

Naomi released her. “No, why?”

“Oh... nothing, it's just that you resemble him in your complexion and...fe-features. Did I say something wrong?” she asked when she saw Naomi's expression go from a smile to pursed lips.

“Aside from comparing me to a dude?”

“Oh, no! I didn't mean any harm, I mean, Nigel is an attractive guy but you're... gorgeous.”

She smiled.

“Oh God, don't make her head any bigger than it already is,” Violet said with a chuckle. “Let’s go. Wait- Raven, do you have a pair of Louboutins? We wear Louboutins to Neimans.”

“You’re going to Neimans?” Naomi asked.

“Not me, dearie. We!”

“I can't. I have an appointment.”

“Oh,” she said before blowing a raspberry. “Raven and I can go. Meet us there?”

“Sure.” The duo shared air kisses before Naomi reluctantly did the same to Raven. “I'll go find Nigel for you,” she joked.

Raven found it difficult to laugh. “Thanks.”

It left a cold air between the women, but when Naomi turned to leave, Raven couldn't help but watch.

“Ready?”

“Yeah but um, I don't have any Louboutins.”

Violet gasped dramatically. “But you're a fashion major! That's sacrilegious!”   

Raven shrugged.

“Girl, you've got to take more pride in your wardrobe. Especially if you want to be seen with me.”

“And Naomi?” Raven blurted before quickly pursing her lips as Violet raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Naomi too. Why?”

The woman shrugged. “She seems nice.”

“She's perfect,” Violet corrected. “I mean, we wouldn't be friends if weren't.”

“So does that mean that I'm perfect?”

There was a pause. “We're working on it. First off, you need Louboutins!”

---

After making it to the mall, Raven discreetly called her mother while Violet found her second home in the dressing room.

“Mom?”

“Hi, honey! How are you?”

“I need $1,200.”

“Oh, wow is it tuition time again already?”

“No, I need a pair of Louboutins.”

“Raven, I don't have-”

“Mom, please don't start. I just really need this money.”

“Louboutins aren't a necessity, honey.”

“Yeah, not to a dated fashion horror show like you!”

Violet cleared her throat from behind her.

“Oh...um-”

“Give me the phone,” she ordered.

Raven obliged and handed over the device.

“Hello? Mrs.Petruschin? My name is Violet Chachki and you have to understand the importance of looking good in this era. As a fashion major, your daughter is required to have the best of the best and she needs your help getting it.”

“Well, Violet, although I love my daughter, she only calls me when she wants something. Even if I had a spare $1,200 laying around, I wouldn't give it to her for anything besides her education.”

“Well that blows,” Violet said before returning the phone to the other woman. “Ooo, I love that color!” The girl rushed towards the crop tops leaving Raven to groan into her phone.

“Mommmmm. I need thissss.”

“No, Raven. You don't need $1,200 shoes.”

“Then I'll slit my fucking throat because my mother doesn't give a fuck about me or that I'll be the biggest fucking loser on campus without Louboutins!”

The girl tossed her phone to the ground and buried her face into her hands. “Fuck!”

“What is the meltdown for?” Naomi asked as she approached.

Raven quickly composed herself. “I can't afford Louboutins.”

“Well, did you ask your parents?”

“They're dead.” The girl forgot to add 'to me’ at the end of the statement but it was too late as Naomi's face fell.

“Well that's horrible. You'd think that you'd be more upset over your parents than a damn pair of Louboutins- there are bigger struggles in life than not having Louboutins!” Naomi practically shrieked.

Raven was completely taken aback. “Um, okay? Sorry?”

Naomi took a deep breath. “Sorry for blowing up at you. I always get cranky after my appointments.”

“How come?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. “Have you found anything that you liked?”  

“Besides the $1,200 Louboutins? Nah.”

Naomi made a face. “Well then, keep looking. It's Neimans for fucks sake,” she said before walking off.

Raven couldn't believe how rude the girl was. “Your insides don't match your outsides,” she grumbled to herself before she returned her attention to scanning the racks.

When Violet and Naomi had their arms filled with items compared to the simple earrings that Raven had picked up, the fashion duo frowned.

“We don't wear anything less than two carats,” Violet informed.

“Are you guys a goddamn cult? Why do we all have to match?”

“Because we have a standard to uphold,” she added. “We're the hottest chicks on campus and hundreds of girls want to be our third, so either comply to the rules, or leave us alone.”

“Then I'll leave you alone! You're high maintenance and just plain bitchy,” she said directly to Violet, “and you're rude!” she said as she glowered at Naomi.

Violet laughed. “I could've told you that. Thank you for the submission of your friendship application, but you don't quite meet the requirements for our company.”

Naomi grabbed a random bracelet from the display and placed it into Raven's hand. “Complimentary from the Viomi company. Put it on our tab.”

The duo cackled as they made their way to the checkout.

Raven scowled but when she looked in her hand, she saw the golden crown charm on the bracelet as a clear sign that this was the person she was meant to be with.

“I prayed to the love Gods on this,” the woman mumbled to herself. “The last person that gave you a crown wasn't for you. The next person that gives you a crown is true,” she recited. Raven quickly traded her plain earrings for a pair of two carat stunners before rushing to the checkout.

“I can help you over here,” the checkout girl at register four said.

“No, I'm with them,” Raven said proudly.

“Is that so?” Violet asked. “And what makes you think that we even want you?”

“Because I know fashion. I love fashion probably even more than you because I've lived on both sides of the spectrum: from practically being allergic to brushing my hair to buying these two carat earrings that I can barely afford. I don't just want to fit in, I want to do better for myself because I have a lot of people who don't believe in me. I need to prove them wrong.”

“Is that a good enough answer for you, Naomi?” Violet asked.

“She seems sincere to me,” the woman admitted.

Raven smiled. I knew she'd have my back.

“Fair enough,” Violet said with a shrug. “Hurry up so we can check out. “

The woman skittered towards her new friends to Violet's dismay. “We don't skip. We walk like ladies.”

“Sorry,” Raven said as she suppressed her excitement. She playfully nudged Naomi who winced. “Oh, sorry, did I hurt you?”

She shook her head and changed the subject. “I like your earrings.”

I like your braces, she could still hear Nigel say.

“Th-Thank you.”

The soft smile that Naomi offered in return could've stopped Raven's heart, but the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach were a valid replacement.

She's rough around the edges but we can fix her, Naomi thought.

After checking out, per tradition, the friends went out to eat. Raven eagerly ordered the same dishes as Naomi despite her distaste for avocados. She watched in awe as the woman stuffed a handful of French fries into her mouth. When Naomi caught her staring her cheeks flushed to same color as her ketchup.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Raven replied. “You just seem to...really love French fries.”

“I do,” she guiltily admitted.

“Naomi has a definite boner for French fries,” Violet joked but she groaned when she realized that it'd hurt the woman's feelings.

Naomi made a face.

“Oh, come on, boo. We say that all the time! You know it's not even like that so don't take it personal.”

The woman fanned her face and attempted to hold back the tears as she composed herself. “I know. Sorry, I'm just really sensitive and hormonal right now,” she sniffled.

Violet wrapped her arms around her friend. “I love you, boo bear.”

“I love you too.”

Raven was envious of the embrace. “Um, so what's going on here?”

“None of your business,” Violet snapped but Naomi shushed her.

“It's okay if she knows. She's been shopping with us therefore we know she's trustworthy.”

“Pfft, she hasn't even been sworn in yet.”

“Okay, okay,” Naomi said as she pulled the latest issue of Vogue out of her purse. “Raven, raise your right hand and place your left hand on the Bible.”

Raven chuckled but when she realized that the woman was serious, she quickly obliged.

“Raven, do you solemnly swear that you will always abide by the rules of fashion including never wearing white after Labor Day and never wearing a sports bra. Do you swear to always dress as chicly as possible and to intervene if one of your fellow fashion wives fail to do so?”

“I do,” she promised.

“Okay, now share a secret about yourself.”

Raven pursed her lips as she thought before speaking. “I lost my virginity in the back of a car.”

“O-M-G, me too,” Violet said in excitement over their common ground.

“Yeah, it was pretty amazing.”

“Okay, now I'll share a secret,” Naomi offered. “I'm trans.”

Raven's eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “No way.”

The woman nodded. “I had an appointment to adjust my E shots today and the hormone boost usually makes me really hungry and kinda cranky so,” she said with a laugh. “Sorry for being a bitch.”

Raven squinted as she examined Naomi's face. “Nigel?”

Naomi frowned. “What?”

Raven shook her head of the delusion. “Nothing. You really look amazing. Um..so-”

“My boobs were a gift from my parents when I turned 18 and my genitals are none of your business but I do indeed sit when I pee.”

“That's totally not what I was going to ask.”

“It's what everyone wants to ask,” she sighed.

Raven shook her head. “I have more respect than that. I think you're a beautiful woman with a voice like angel’s wings.”

Violet rolled her eyes.

“Awww, thanks! Ya know, I think we're going to get along just fine.”

---

Raven slammed the yearbook closed before cradling it against her chest while she sobbed herself to sleep.

---

Violet groaned as she entered her home and pulled off her heels. The woman slowly made her way up the stairs, stopping to peek into her daughter's bedroom.

Clark was snoring in bed with her mask and cape on so the woman softly closed the door and made her way to her bedroom. She burst into laughter when she saw her nude husband sprawled across the bed covered in nothing but rose petals.

“Why are you laughing?!” he demanded, chuckling a little himself over the woman's snorts.

“What the hell are you doing, Matthew?”

“Keeping the spice alive!”

Violet shook her head as she made her way next to him. She eased herself to the bed and kissed her husband. The man gripped her face between his hands and attempted to make out but she groaned and pulled away.

“Babe, I'm not in the moodddd. You won't believe the day I had. Raven is missing, my feet hurt and cops threatened to taze me.”

“Cops threatened to do what?!”

“Ugh, you're missing the biggest point: my feet hurt!”

The man pushed himself out of the bed and retrieved the massage oil. He poured a generous amount into his hands before slathering it onto Violet's feet. As he rubbed them, Matt noticed the red lines that the straps of her heels had left.

“You have to stop wearing those shoes if they're going to hurt your feet.”

“Pfft, don't blame my heels. It's this baby weight. I've already gained eight pounds and it hasn't even been long enough to know the gender of the little womb crook to even curse it out.”

Matt laughed. “Then wear more comfortable shoes.”

“Comfortable shoes means orthopedic shoes, Matthew. That's never going to happen.”

“Well for what it's worth, your tits look amazing.”

“Thank you, honey bun.”

“You're welcome, my little spice cake.” He smiled and kissed her big toe.

“Freak. So what'd you and Super Clark do while I was gone? I mean, besides your lovely manicure.”

“She painted my nails then I painted hers and then we watched Supergirl and Finding Nemo before she turned into Super Clark. She ran around and played with the dogs a bit before she passed out.”

“Sounds about right,” Violet said, stifling a yawn.

“Mhmm,” Matt mumbled as he kissed the top of her foot. “I've been thinking about you since the moment you left, baby. I know it's only been a few hours but I missed you so much.” The man began a trail of kisses starting at her ankles, up to her waist then breasts then neck, stopping at her cheek when he realized that she was asleep. Fuck, he mouthed. Matt rolled out of bed and grabbed the lotion on his way to the bathroom.

---

Violet was excited to wake up to the smell of French toast. After she showered and primped herself, she descended the stairs and entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, Mommy,” Clark greeted as she gnawed on a piece of bacon.

“Good morning, my love.” She kissed her daughter's head before her husband pulled her into a kiss.

Clark covered her eyes.

“Ready for the appointment today?” he asked.

“Sure,” Violet replied as she eyeballed the food. “But I'm more ready for that French toast.”

Matt laughed. “Sit down, I'll make you a plate.”

“Do we get to see Lord Tater Tots today?” Clark asked.

Violet made a face. “Who is Lord Tater Tots?”

“The baby! That's the baby's name.”

“No, no, nooooo it's not,” Violet assured.

Clark frowned. “But that's what the baby told meee.”

“Clark, the baby doesn't speak to you,” she said sternly.

“Yes it is! And the baby wants to be called Lord Tater Tots!”

“Clark Christine Lent, who on Earth do you think you're yelling at?”

The girl folded her arms. “Nobody.”

“If you're going to be a brat today then you can stay home.”

“Noooooo!”

“Clark, go to your room,” her mother ordered.

“Hey, hey, ladies,” Matt intervened. “Chill out and eat your French toast.”

“I am chill like Iceman,” Clark said. “See my nails?”

Matt laughed. “Yes, sweetheart. I see your nails.”

Violet scowled. “Don't reward her for bad behavior, Matthew. I-” she was silenced when the man placed a piece of French toast in her mouth.

“Sshhhhh, grumpy Mommy,” he said. “It'll be okay.”

Clark giggled and her father winked.

“You two need stop ganging up on me,” Violet demanded. “It's not fair and- mmm, okay,” she hummed in satisfaction over the hash brown Matt placed in her mouth.

“When Lord Tater Tots is born, he can be on your team,” Matt joked.

“Ha-ha,” Violet said flatly as she continued to stuff her mouth.

---

Raven's mother was heartbroken yet relieved to see her daughter sleeping in the fetal position on the living room floor. It was better than her being stuffed into a gutter somewhere.

When the phone began to ring, she rushed to it and answered

“Hello, may I speak to Mr. or Mrs. Petruschin?” the man on the other end asked.

“This is Mrs. Petruschin.”

“I'm detective Velour and I was wondering if you've been in contact with your daughter, Raven recently?”

“Oh God, what has she done?”

“Nothing. Her wife has reported her missing.”

“Oh...yes, she's here. She's okay.”

“Okay, um, there was a trail of blood in the bedroom, do you have any idea where that is from? Does she have any injuries?”

“She self harms,” the woman admitted. “When she gets upset, she hurts herself.”

“Oh..so she is safe?”

“For now, yes.”

“Okay. Thank you, Mrs. Petruschin.”

“You're welcome,” the woman sighed as she hung up the phone. She made her way into the living room and gently shook her daughter awake.

“Cocksucker!” Raven blurted. “Huh? Wha-What's going on?”

“The police called. Your wife is looking for you.”

“No she isn't,” the woman grumbled as she turned on her other side. “She wants a divorce.”

“Well, she at least wants to know if you're okay.”

There was a long pause. “I'm not,” Raven quietly sniffled. “I haven't been okay for a really long time.”

---

“Miss Shea!” Clark squealed as they met the woman in the lobby of the OBGYN office.

“Hey, Clark!” she said as she embraced the girl. “How are you?”

“Good! We're here to see your baby and Lord Tater Tots!”

Shea raised an eyebrow. “Lord Tater Tots?”

“Don't ask,” Violet groaned.

“Well, yes we are, Clark. I'm so excitedddd.” She turned to the man seated next to her. “Babe, stand up. I'd like you guys to meet my boyfriend, Danny Noriega.”

The nonchalant man popped his gum. “Sup?”

Violet extended her hand. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“Ditto,” he said flatly as he returned the gesture.

“Are you excited about your babyyy?” Clark asked him.

Danny shrugged. “I guess, yeah.”

Matt scowled. “You want to show a little more respect?” he asked, being sure to assert every ounce of his masculinity.

“What?” the other man replied practically in a slur.

“Danny just got home from his tour. He's just a little tired,” Shea defended.

“Miss Couleé?” the ultrasound technician called.

Shea grabbed her boyfriend's hand. “That's ussss.”

The sizable group followed the woman to the back room.

“So, how is this going to work?” Matt asked. “We see Shea's ultrasound then everyone goes to our ultrasound?”

“Yes,” Violet replied.

“Hop on up here,” the ultrasound technician said as she patted the medical bed. Shea obliged and eagerly lifted her top too expose her washboard abs.

“Bitch,” Violet grumbled.

Shea cackled. “With a baby in there, it won't last long.”

The technician spurted the gel onto Shea's stomach and began to smear it around with the ultrasound wand. She scanned the full circumference of the woman's belly before frowning. “Um... I don't see anything.”

Shea's heart dropped as her eyes instantly began to well up. “Wh-What? What do you mean? I-I-”

“Oh, wait I forgot to turn on the machine! Sorry about that,” she said with a laugh. “The long hours are starting to get to me.”

Matt gripped his wife's hands to stop her from hitting the technician.

“Ahhh, okay. There we are. That little nugget rightttt there is your baby.”

Shea wiped away her tears only to cry some more. “But... that's way more advanced than 4 weeks, right?”

“Yeah, that's around eight weeks.”

“Holy sparkles. I have no idea when or where this baby was conceived then. I don't keep track of my period because it's so irregular as is but- so if I didn't get pregnant in Paris I wonder where.”

“Did you cheat?” Danny asked.

The woman scoffed. “Fuck all the way off.”

“Like you? Nah, I'm good.” He turned and exited the room.

It was Violet's turn to restrain Matt but she failed to get a good grip on the man before he followed Danny out of the hospital.

“Hey, asshole! What's your problem?!”

“Besides being exhausted and not in the mood for this baby shit again? Ohhhh nothing,” he said sarcastically. “We've been through this twice already and by next week, the baby will probably be gone. I can't get emotionally invested into that shit.”

“Be emotionally invested in Shea! I don't care if this is her 80th pregnancy, that woman needs support.”

“I honestly don't think I should be taking ‘how to support Shea advice’ from you.”

Matt clenched his jaw. “Fair enough. Then do it for yourself and especially Shea, dude. She deserves it.”

---

“What do you want to name your baby, Miss Shea?”

“I'm not sure yet. All the good names like Clark are already taken,” she said as she gently poked the girl's nose.

Clark giggled and grabbed the woman's hand as they followed Violet into another room for her appointment. She settled onto the paper covered bed and reluctantly lifted her shirt.

“Introducing a busted can of biscuits.”

“I like biscuits,” Clark squeaked.

“Thanks,” Violet sighed.

When Matt and Danny returned, Matt grabbed his wife's hand while Danny wrapped his arm around the other woman. He kissed her.

“I love you. I have a good feeling about this one,” he said.

“Me too.”

“Okay, okayyyy,” Violet chirped. “All attention needs to be on me now.”

Everyone watched as the technician smoothed the ultrasound goop over the woman's stomach with the wand.

“There's your baby.”

Clark wrinkled her nose in distaste. “That's Lord Tater Tots?”

“Yes,” Matt replied.

“So… I'm the big sister to a... tadpole?”

The man cackled. “No, boo, he has to keep growing so that he can be a cute little guy.”

“Would you please stop gendering the fetus?” Violet asked. “I don't want to relive what happened last time.”

She looked at Clark as the girl dug in her nose.

“Matth-”

“I'm on it.” The man whipped out the sanitizer and told the girl to hold out her hands. As she pulled her finger out of her nose, a booger was already attached to the tip.

“Ooo, Daddy, that's a juicy one!”

Violet instantly went green in the face. “I need a can, I need a can!”

The ultrasound technician quickly offered a chuck bucket while Matt rushed his daughter out of the room.

“Clark,” he said sternly. “What did I tell you about digging in your nose...in front of Mommy?”

“But I always dig in my nose with you! We have boogie contests to see who has the biggest ones!”

“I know, I know and that's all fine, just not in front of Mommy. You know she hates it.”

Clark sighed. “I'm sorryyy.”

“It's okay, boo. Let's go get your hands washed.”

The girl wiped the booger onto the wall and held up her hands. “They look all clean to me.”

“Me too. Let's go see the baby again.”

When they returned to the room, Violet was still attempting to compose herself. “I'm not sure I want to go through with this pregnancy. Kids are disgusting.”

Shea laughed. “So are men but that didn't seem to stop us.”

Naomi breathlessly panted as she rushed into the room. “I made it. How is the ba...by?” she asked, eyes scanning the crowded room and stopping on the new couple that had seemingly taken her position. “Hi,” the woman flatly greeted.

“Naomiiii,” Violet whined. “Save me.”

“I would if I could but it looks like you've got it covered.”

“Auntie!” Clark squealed. “Look at our babyyyyyyy!”

“I can barely see from over here.”

“Oh, Naomi quit being a dork just get in here,” Violet demanded.

The woman stepped further into the room and sighed. “It's like a gas chamber in here.”

Violet rolled her eyes. “Naomi, I don't feel good, okay? If you're going to keep making shady comments then just leave because I don't want to hear it. You should've gotten here on time.”

“Well I'm sorry that I've been on the phone with the police station all morning trying to track down Raven. Thank you for calling to check on me and responding to all of my messages.”

Violet whipped out her phone to check.

“Is that the one?” Naomi heard Danny whisper.

“No, that's the bitches wife,” Shea replied out loud.

Clark covered her ears while Naomi did her best to ignore the woman.

“You didn't send me anything!” Violet shouted before the notifications finally loaded. “You- oh…well, I didn't see that until now and I didn't call you because I was busy.”

“I can tell,” Naomi grumbled.

“But you have no right to come into my appointment with that attitude and kill everyone's vibe.”

“Alright, Violet, if you want me to leave because I'm just ruining this for everyone, I will,” she sniffled as she stormed out.

“Ugh, she's so dramatic.” Violet turned to her husband. “Can we get out of here now? If I don't eat something right now I'll either die or kill someone or both.”

Clark frowned. “But what about Auntie Naomiiii?”

“You can go with her, booger child. Go, go, go.”

“Yayyyy!”

Matt carried his daughter out of the room and quickly caught up with the woman in the parking lot. “Naomi, hey. Clark wants to go with you. If that's okay.”

The woman composed herself as best she could. “Of course, CC. That's always okay.” She extended her arms and pulled the girl into an embrace.

“I'm sorry for Violet,” Matt offered. “I mean, you know how she is better than anyone.”

Naomi nodded. “I do. And I can usually overlook her nonsense but it's been a really rough few days.”

“I understand. So, what's on the agenda for you two?”

“I wanna go to Peter Piper Pizza!” Clark declared.

“Then Peter Piper Pizza it is, pudding.”

“Perfect,” Matt said as he pulled the walkie talkie and list of emergency numbers from his pocket. He handed the device to Clark. “You know the drill. You can't go out of the five mile radius of the walkie talkie and this has my number, Violet's number, her pediatrician, her dentist, her-”

“I got it, Matthew,” Naomi sighed. “I've babysat for you since she was three months.”

“You can never have enough reminders,” he said. “I love you, sweetheartttt.”

“I love you too. Do you want a basket full of kisses?”

“Of course, boo! And I'll give you a basket full of hugs in return.”

Clark jumped from Naomi's arms into her father's before placing several wet kisses all over his cheeks.

“Mmmm, I love your kisses,” Matt declared as he gave his daughter a firm squeeze.

“And I love your hugs!”

Naomi was always touched by the lengthy goodbyes that the duo shared. The man reluctantly returned Clark to her arms.

“I'll see you later, boo.”

“Later, Daddy-O.”

The man laughed and watched as Naomi strapped her into the car seat that he'd chosen specifically for it's safety rating.

“Make sure that you hear the buckle click,” he reminded. “That's how you know it's secure.”

“I know, Matthew.”

“And give the straps a little tug to ensure that it's tight enough around her chest- but not too tight.”

“I knowwww, Matthewwww,” she groaned.

“Okay, okay. Bye, boo!”

“Byeeee!”

Naomi closed the door.

“Is the child lock on?”

“Yes!”

The man defensively raised his hands.

Naomi rushed to the driver's side of her car so that Matt wouldn't have time to give her a physical exam or a breathalyzer to ensure that she was stable enough to be driving like the last time she took Clark out.

“Double check your mirrors!” he shouted.

The woman ignored him as she started the car and took off. Matt swiftly jotted down the license plate and made a mental note of what the woman was wearing. He pressed the button on his walkie talkie.

“Testing. Testing. Daddy to Clark. Daddy to Clark. Can you hear me? Over.”

A response came in a few seconds later. “No, I can't hear you,” she said with a giggle.

He smiled. “Have fun, sweetheart.” Matt returned the device to his pocket before returning inside of the building.

“Matthew!” Violet snarled when she met him in the lobby. “I am hungry!”

“Okay, Mama bear. What do you wanna eat?”

“I don't know but I want food! Now!” Violet stormed out of the building.

Matt was actually excited about the hormonal journey that he was bound to go on with his wife throughout their second pregnancy.  

“Good luck,” a woman seated in one of the lobby chairs offered.

“I don't need it,” he said cheekily before rushing after the woman that was now sobbing by the car. “Baby, why are you crying?”

“Because! You don't care about feeding me! You're too busy worried about- hell, I don't even know what you're worried about but it sure as hell isn't feeding your wife!”

“I'm about to feed you right now, okay?” he calmly responded as if he was negotiating with a terrorist. “Just get in the car and I'll take you wherever you want to go to eat.”

Violet continued to cry as she snatched the car door open and climbed inside. Matt grinned and rushed to the driver's side before starting the car and speeding off.

---

“Go, Auntie Naomi, go!” Clark cheered the woman on. She sat in her lap and made sound effects as she followed the bad guys on the video game in the high speed chase. “Catch those bad guys so we can get more tickets!”

“I'm tryinggg.” Naomi shot out the bank robbers back tire, effectively ending the chase.

“Yayyyyy!” Clark cheered as the machine began to spurt out tickets. She snatched them up.

“What do you want to do next?”

“Pizza! Then prizes!”

“Sounds good.”

Clark skipped over to their table and plunged into her slice of melted cheese deliciousness while Naomi mindlessly nibbled on the crust of her slice.

“I thought I'd find you guys here.”

The sound of her wife's voice made Naomi's blood curdle. Out of sheer fear from the trauma,  Clark couldn't even make eye contact with the woman as she climbed into her aunt's lap and buried her face into the warm curve of her arm for protection.

Naomi took in Raven's disheveled appearance and there was something so off about the woman that she barely recognized her. “What are you doing here?” she demanded.

“If you didn't want to be found, you shouldn't have tagged your location in the picture you posted.”

“Raven, just leave, okay? You're scaring Clark.”

“Leave? Oh, so you want me to leave? I thought you were soooo concerned about me, wifey!”

Clark whimpered into the sleeve of Naomi's blouse.

“Yes! You're seriously pathetic right now if you're going to yell at me in front of Clark at Peter Piper Pizza!”

Raven suddenly felt dozens of children's eyes fixated on her as they tried to figure out what was going on. When she heard Clark's soft sobs, she knew that she'd hit rock bottom.

“I'm so sorry,” the woman sniffled as she rushed out of the building.

Naomi pulled Clark up so that she could cradle the weeping girl. “Sshhhh, CC, it's okay.”

“Does Auntie Raven want to hurt us?” she asked through tears. It broke Naomi's heart.

“No, sweetheart. Auntie Raven doesn't want to hurt us.”

“Okay,” Clark said skeptically.

“Finish your pizza, baby then we'll trade in your tickets for prizes.”

The girl wiped her eyes and returned to her spot in the booth. When she began to pick at her food, Naomi knew that she'd lost her appetite.

“Me too, Clark,” she softly exhaled. “Me too.”

---

The only thing that the wide eyed Matt could compare Violet to was Shaggy or even Scooby-Doo. She slurped, belched and didn't mind that food was flying everywhere as she ate. The woman was like a refugee from a foreign country where food was scarce.

“Did you just get out of prison?” her husband teased.

“Fuck you,” she replied as she spooned the pot roast into her mouth. “Mmm!” the woman screeched with full cheeks as a waitress walked by with food. Violet forced down what was already in her mouth so that she could speak. “Give me that cheesecake.”

“This is for another table. I could add a slice of cheesecake to your ord-”

“No, I want that slice right there.”

“Ma'am, I-”

“Give me the fucking cheesecake!” Violet shrieked.

The girl flinched and quickly obliged before rushing off to contemplate her life's choices and to retrieve another slice of the cheesecake. Matt pushed himself out of his seat and followed her. “I’m really sorry. She's pregnant,” he said as he palmed the waitress a $100 bill.

Moments later when he returned to the table the only thing left of the cheesecake were crumbs on the plate. And even those didn't last long as Violet held up the saucer and tapped the side, allowing the graham cracker bits to fall into her mouth.

Matt burst into laughter. “You are amazing.” The man watched in awe as the woman continued to pile it in. She even went after his food when she asked if he was going to finish his burger and fries. He gave them up without protest.

Violet ate a few bites before burping. “I'm done. I want the rest to go.”

The man obliged and after paying the bill that he wasn't surprised had reached over $100, he helped his wife out of her seat. For the first time, he noticed that her ass seemed to be filling out in a way that he'd never seen before.

Damn, he mouthed. When did baby get back? Since they were in public, he didn't want to disrespect her by giving it a squeeze. But when they made it into the car, he couldn't help but pull her into a kiss with more than sweet intentions behind it.

“Matthewwww,” she groaned as she pulled away. “Not here. Not in a fucking restaurant parking lot. I'm classier than that.”

“You are?” he teased.

It earned him a swat on the arm. “Fineee.” The man threw the car into gear and slammed on the gas until they were home.

The couple was barely pass the threshold when Matt pulled his wife into a kiss while he caressed her newly found curves. Violet's hands loosened the man's belt while he worked on the straps of the confusing designer top. Just as he finally found success in getting his wife naked, Clark's voice rang out over the walkie talkie.

“Daddyyyyy,” she chirped. “I won lots of prizesss!”

“Ignore her,” Violet ordered as she kissed her husband's neck.

“I can't ignore her. Look how excited she sounds.”

“She's always excited.”

“Yes, because I always respond!”

“Daddy! Are you there?! You said you'd always answer the walkie stalkie!”

Violet groaned. “Alright.” The woman cupped his dick through the thin fabric of his boxers. “Meet me in the bedroom when you're finished,” she whispered before sauntering up the stairs.

Matt fought the urge to watch because he didn't want the image of a nude woman embedded in his brain as he answered to his daughter.

“Hey, boo. Of course I'm here. What kind of prizes did you get?”  

“You'll just have to wait and see tomorrowwww.”

“Whoa, whoa, what do you mean tomorrow?”

“I'm spending the night at Auntie Naomi's.”

“Clark, nobody asked me if you could stay,” he said sternly. “And I never even went over the overnight procedures with her.”

“Well, I want to stay so I can protect her.”

“Protect her from what?”

“Evil forcessss.”

Matt exhaled. “And Auntie Naomi said it's okay for you to stay?”

“Yes, Daddy!” Clark shouted in exasperation. “Stop acting brand new! She always says it's okay for me to stay!”

Matt cackled. “Okay, sweetheart. I'll call you before bedtime, alright?”

“I don't have a bedtime! Go away, evil doer! Go awayyyy!”

“I love youuuu.”

Clark didn't respond but he knew that the girl heard him and that was most important. He dashed up the stairs and burst into his bedroom.

“Did somebody order multiple orgasms?!” he asked only to find his wife passed out in her blanket cocoon. “No,” the man gasped. “Nooo.” He rushed over to her and attempted to kiss her awake but the woman groaned and pushed his face away. “Fuck my life,” Matt grumbled as he stormed towards the bathroom, grabbing the nearly empty bottle of lotion on his way in.

>>>

[fcntasmas-archive]

Hello ceecee🌿 I'm here to tell you that your fic is the best evak fic I've read ever and it's literally ruining every fic and every book I read with how much of high standards you've made me set. Sooo, while I impatiently wait for u to update, could you recommend me your fav fics, books, tv show etc cause I've a feeling that you have the best taste considering how good of a writer you are. (PLEASE LET US HAVE MORE MARRIED MOMENTS LIKE BUYING THE MATTRESS AND EVEN TEACHING ISAK COOKING) ily 💖

HELLO MY LOVE!!! thank you sososo much babe and don’t worry they have A LOT more married moments coming up trust me it’s fuckin gross

also, ahhh!!!! for uhm. god. i always get so nervous about these questions bc i’m like “what do i say.” fic recs i have all over my blog if you go to the fic reg tag, you’ll find so many good ones ok. books,,, if you haven’t read ‘the raven cycle’ series then y’know you sHOULD also read “more than this” by patrick ness and thEN watch his bbc series “class” bc it’s literally corny scifi but i love it??? speaking of scifi also watch “the magicians” on syfy and WATCH ANYTHING ON SYFY BC THAT CHANNEL GETS A BAD REP BUT IT’S BRILLIANT.

i’m also watching “shadowhunters” which has definitely upped their production value this season it’s great to watch, “superstore” is such a great feel-good show i love it with all my heart (and the second season is so much funnier, trust me)

for more books there ari and dante, simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda, the song of achilles

it has been a wHILE and this is all over the place hopefully this at least gives you one more thing to get into ok ❤️❤️

[violet--minds-blog]

Awesome Queer Media to Check Out!

Piper Gibson | March 20, 2017

Sorry for the absence (school is kicking my ass but what else is new) but I’m back with another list! This time, I’m cataloging some of my favorite pieces of media with LGBTQ+ characters and plotlines. Of course, nothing is perfect, and all these shows/books/movies/etc. have their problems, but I still think they’re pretty damn cool.

1. Check, Please!

What is it: A webcomic

Who makes it: Ngozi Ukazu 

Why you should read it: Queer boys who play hockey! Lots of pie! Discussions of mental illness and drug abuse! An ensemble cast! Comedy and drama in one! Slow-burn, healthy, communicative, gay relationship!! Confirmed happy gay ending!!! Most of my friends know that I love this comic with my whole heart, and it’s really easy to see why. There’s a character in it for everyone, and they’re all easy to relate to and care about. Personally, I relate so hard to Jack having anxiety and trying to navigate his life and career in the intersection of being mentally ill and queer. No spoilers, but this comic includes the best queer relationship I’ve ever seen portrayed. Don’t get discouraged by the hockey-- I knew nothing about the sport going in and it really doesn’t stop you from enjoying the comic at all! Currently in Bitty’s third year and gearing up for more spring updates, Check, Please is a master of storytelling and will make you laugh and cry. Read it here!

2. The Get Down

What is it: A Netflix Original series

Who makes it: dir. Baz Luhrmann

Why you should watch it: Almost the entire cast are people of color, it’s set in the 1970s and focuses on both the dying out of disco and the arising hip-hop scene, and the performances are incredible. You see this world through young Zeke’s eyes, a complex and talented kid looking to be a part of something bigger than himself and for a community to fall back on. No matter what’s going on, the story never lets you forget these characters are in the middle of the South Bronx in the seventies, fighting for a way out of poverty, strict religious family, or gangs, all while holding on to their passions. The music and the performances of these young actors are what sold me immediately. The queer relationship in it (I won’t spoil it) is lovely and gentle and blooms very naturally. The story, the characters, and the music are the focus, and if you’re like me, you’ll be hooked immediately. The second season just came out this month and it’s incredible but holy shit so intense. Catch it on Netflix!

3. Carry On

What is it: A young-adult novel

Who makes it: Rainbow Rowell

Why you should read it: Did you read Harry Potter and think: “Wow, Harry is super bi. Wow, he’s pretty obsessed with Draco. Wow they could be friends if Harry was sorted into Slytherin WOW THEY COULD EVEN BE MORE THAN THAT!” ...Okay, well this is the book for you. Set in a magic school more different from Hogwarts than you’d think, Simon and Baz are roommates that hate each other. But things are complicated when you’re the chosen one and you think your roommate might be a vampire and there’s an evil something out for you. It’s like Harry Potter except different and more queer people and people of color. Plus a happy ending that’s so, so much better than that “17 years later” shit. If you like gay magical boys and ass-kicking best friends and plot twists, you’ll definitely enjoy this.

4. Fourth Man Out

What is it: A 2016 movie

Who makes it: dir. Andrew Nackman

Why you should watch it: If you’ve been searching your whole fucking life for a queer rom-com like me, this’ll make you immensely happy. The story centers around Adam, who comes out to his mostly clueless friends in his twenties. They’re all a little uncomfortable and shitty at first, but they all grow and learn and by the end of the film have created the kind of caring and casual atmosphere any queer person hopes for when initially coming out to friends. The movie explores those awkward first steps after coming out, including online dating and homophobic neighbors, in a comedic yet respectful way. It’ll make you laugh and it’ll make you care a lot about Adam-- his puppy-dog face just makes you root for him from the beginning. Watch this if you hate that more comedies don’t center around queer themes, and then please recommend me more!!

5. About a Girl

What is it: A young-adult novel

Who makes it: Sarah McCarry

Why you should read it: Okay, maybe you should read the first two books in this series first, All Our Pretty Songs and Dirty Wings, but I read this one first and I think it can stand alone pretty well. There is an abundance of queer people of color in this, a beautiful, mythological storyline, a girl/girl romance, and a main character you’ll fall in love with. This book is so gorgeous to read and so rewarding, and I couldn’t put it down. In fact, I’m due for a reread... good thing I just impulsively bought all three of these so now I OWN THEM. Please, please give at least About a Girl a read, though-- the lyrical, soft nature of it was so incredibly healing and I can’t tell you how much I loved it.

5. Moonlight

What is it: A 2016 film

Who makes it: dir. Barry Jenkins

Why you should watch it: First of all, if you haven’t been following the mess that happened at the Oscars with La La Land being announced incorrectly and this film winning Best Picture, where have you been? I saw this rather recently, I’ll admit, but it blew my socks off. This film is so completely centered on the experience of black queer men, and allows them to be so honest and tender, so complex and multi-faceted, in a way we haven’t much seen in mainstream media so far. We know why this is-- mainstream media is overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly straight, and wants to put down and silence differing experiences as much as possible, making Hollywood a boring and homogeneous space. But Moonlight has broken through and shown that when these stories are told, and they are listened to, something incredible can happen. 

6. Ask the Passengers

What is it: A young-adult novel

Who makes it: A.S. King

Why you should read it: Holy shit, y’all, I loved this book so fucking much. I reread it a little while ago and it still punches me in the gut just as hard. The book centers around Astrid, a teenager navigating her sexuality, her family, and suffocating small-town life. She’s a philosopher at heart, so nothing comes easy, especially not love-- it’s not as clear-cut as her other queer friends may think. This is a really honest portrayal of figuring out sexuality and Astrid is such a lovable narrator that you just want to bundle her up and let no one else hurt her. The book hit close to home as a queer girl who spent a lot of time figuring out my identity and what it meant to me personally. If you have a similar story, prepare to get emotional.

7. One Day at a Time

What is it: A Netflix original series based off Norman Lear's 1975 series of the same name

Who makes it: Too many directors & executive producers to name! But if you’re a Norman Lear fan, he stayed on to be an executive producer for the remake.

Why you should watch it: The show centers around a Cuban-American family living in California and tackles topics like immigration, religion, sexuality, PTSD, divorce/separation, and more. Elena’s coming out storyline is beautifully and respectfully done and I really appreciate how realistic it is. This show will make you laugh and make you cry, but mostly, you’ll just fall completely in love with the Alvarez family and their story. And they’ve just been confirmed for a second season!! (GET ELENA A GIRLFRIEND!!)

8. The Real O’Neals

What is it: An ABC comedy series

Who makes it: Executive producer Dan Savage

Why you should watch it: Okay, I’ll admit, I have more problems with this show than the others-- namely its consistent biphobia and very few characters of color-- but besides the problems, it’s still hilarious and honest. In the very first episode, Kenny comes out to his conservative, Irish Catholic family in an... explosive way, and what follows is them all trying to figure out how to navigate his identity while still being religious. It’s important to see representation of queer people who keep their faith after coming out; it reminds us that religion and queerness aren’t mutually exclusive. Plus, I love Kenny’s relationship with his siblings, and the fact that his younger sister Shannon is the smartest and most put-together of them all. The show just finished its second season, and as of yet there has been no announcement of a renewal for a third season.

9. The Raven Cycle

What is it: A young-adult novel series

Who makes it: Maggie Stiefvater

Why you should read it: Holy wow, this book series is fantastic. I had no idea what it was about when I read it (because I read it for the gays...), but the story is complex and fascinating. Blue is our narrator most of the time, the daughter of a psychic who has no psychic abilities herself and who lives in a house with a bunch of other awesome psychic ladies. Her life has always been surrounded by magic, but it gets even more magical when she meets Gansey, Ronan, Adam, and Noah, four boys who go to the near Aglionby Academy and are dubbed “Raven Boys” because of the raven on their uniforms. I’m pretty sure shit starts to get Really Actually Gay in the last book, but the entire series is fantastic and well worth a read. If you like ghost boys, dead kings, magical dreamers, and weird curses, this series is for you. It’s recently been announced that there will be a TV show based on the books, and there will also be another book series just about Ronan, so I’m super pumped for those cool things... Unless they ruin the TV show, in which case I will be incredibly disappointed. (In the meantime, though, you can read the first chapter of the first book, The Raven Boys, here!)

10. Yuri On Ice

What is it: An Japanese sports anime series

Who makes it: Creator Mitsurō Kubo, dir. Sayo Yamamoto

Why you should watch it: LISTEN, I’ve never finished an anime before this, because I’m not really that into anime. But this series is about figure skating, has twelve episodes, and is hella gay, so it’s not hard to binge it. (For the love of God, please watch the subbed version if you can, the dub voices give me nightmares.) The story is beautifully done, Viktor and Yuuri’s relationship is stable, loving, and realistic, and the portrayal of Yuuri’s anxiety is so important and made me cry in spots. Plus, it’s really funny and the competition scenes are thrilling as all hell. You can watch the series in literally a day, so what are you waiting for?? Binge it and then listen to the soundtrack on Spotify on repeat while crying, like I did.

11. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What is it: A Fox-produced police sitcom

Who makes it: A million directors and producers, it’s a comedy sitcom

Why you should watch it: A diverse ensemble cast, comedy that isn’t at the expense of any marginalized group, complex characters, a stable gay relationship, Andy Samberg??? I love this show so much, y’all. To be fair, the main relationship is between a man and a woman, but the captain of the 99th precinct is an openly gay black man who’s in an amazing, loving relationship with his husband. And the relationship between Jake, the main character, and Amy (Spoiler! But you’ll see it coming from a million miles away, promise.) is one of the most delicious slow-burn plotlines I’ve ever seen. And as far as I know, the writers have no intention to break them up for “conflict” (cough cough New Girl cough). In an episode from the current season, a character called something transphobic, which was the first time I’ve ever heard that word on television, and I had to pause and look at my girlfriend in wonder, like “Did he just really say that? Oh my God??” Anyway. Please watch this show. It’s currently in its fourth season, just recently back from its haitus, so go binge it now!

There’s so many more to add to this list (Legend of Korra! Rock and Riot!! Etc etc etc!), but since you now have 11 new (or not-so-new) pieces of queer media to consume, I’ll leave you with that. Till next time!

[ecoorganic]

Mailbag: Future Changes to NFL's TV Packages, Impact of Canceled College Games

Plus, the impact a canceled college season has on the NFL, what to expect from Gardner Minshew in Year 2, whether this season will be seen as legitimate and more.

It’s a sad day in the football world. Blue-blood programs that are 41 (Michigan), 33 (Penn State), 32 (USC) and 30 (Ohio State and Nebraska) years older than the NFL itself won’t be playing this fall. And no matter who you blame, it’s a shame that

we’re here.

The slow death march college football seems to be on will absolute reverberate in the NFL world. We’re going to get to that, and a whole lot more, in this week’s mailbag. …

From Brock Ascher (@BrockAscher): What happens to NFL TV rights in the near future? Will I ever be able to get rid of DirecTV? Will I ever be able to buy a one-team out of market package?

Brock, my guess is the over-the-air packages will probably remain the same. I think Thursday night is the one variable in all this, with the potential Disney snaps it up so it can put either MNF or TNF on ABC, with the other staying on ESPN, ideal for them for cable-fee reasons. (My guess is Fox is finished with TNF.) The biggest difference you’d notice could come in structure. I was told by two execs that the NFL has discussed jettisoning the divvying up of Sunday afternoons by conference (the cross-flex would be a precursor to that).

It’d give the NFL more flexibility and, in this scenario, you could have Fox and CBS simply split up the games, via some sort of “draft.”

After that, we can dive into how streaming (where the younger audience lives) plays into all of this, and how the Sunday Ticket package you’re referencing factors into that. AT&T now owns DirecTV, which has the Ticket through 2022. The Ticket is vital to DirecTV's survival. How much does AT&T care about that? We’ll see, because the NFL has discussed the idea of moving the Ticket to a streaming service, where a younger audience lives.

You can imagine what the Ticket would be worth to ESPN-Plus, Peacock, HBO Max, DAZN or Amazon Prime. How many people would jump on those services if the Ticket was there? Based on DirecTV’s numbers, the answer is a lot. And part of the NFL’s concern about production quality in doing something like this may have been alleviated with how smoothly Amazon Prime’s venture into creating such a product for the Premier League over in the UK went.

As for the a la carte end of this, we’ll see. I think that’s coming, but it might be further down the line, and whoever were to win the Ticket rights would be involved in all of that. The bottom line here: Media’s changing fast, and the NFL is preparing for that.

From Jonathan Barakat (@jonathanbarakat): How do you think Gardner Minshew will play this year? Will he exceed expectations? Also what do you think of D.J. Chark coming into his third year?

Jonathan, I’ll give you what I like and what I don’t like about Gardner Minshew’s situation.

What I like: Minshew gets to play for Jay Gruden, who’s immediately made a big difference for young quarterbacks in both his previous NFL homes (Kirk Cousins in D.C. and Andy Dalton in Cincinnati), and in one of those cases actually did it with a rookie coming off the lockout, which is somewhat analogous to this situation. Also, D.J. Chark gives Minshew a strong No. 1 target, and Doug Marrone will use the run game to support him.

What I don’t like: It’s pretty clear where Jacksonville stands on Cam Robinson, and having an issue at left tackle isn’t great—particularly in a year when it’s going to be tough to work out offensive line issues on the fly. Also, the viability of the run game rides largely on Leonard Fournette, who hasn’t been the most reliable guy over his first three NFL seasons. And beyond Chark, there are question marks at receiver and tight end.

So all in all, it’s not a complete mess, but not really setup for Minshew to have a breakthrough sophomore campaign.

From Roberta Wears A Mask You Should Too (@AceandJasper): How will the teams take care of season ticket holders who won't get to sit in their front row seats even for a game or two?

Most teams are rolling payments over or refunding—and I can’t imagine any haven’t already given their season-ticket holders the choice to opt out and hold on to the rights to their seats in 2021. I think, at this point, we know that the season isn’t going to start with full stadiums anywhere. How will it end? That’s four months from now. And I think the last four months should be enough to keep anyone from making predictions that far ahead.

From Erik Ghirarduzzi (@eghirarduzzi): Given the circumstance around this season, currently known and ones yet to come, how legit would a SB winner be? There are teams at a competitive disadvantage, through no fault of their own, already and the season hasn't started.

Erik, this is a great question—I do believe this year will be remembered, if it’s completed, like the strike years of 1982 and ’87. In ’82, teams played nine games, the divisions were temporarily abolished, and a 16-team playoff was staged. In ’87, just six quarterbacks broke 3,000 yards passing, and just two backs reached 1,000 yards rushing. In both years, interestingly enough, Joe Gibbs led Washington to a championship.

Now, I don’t think the season necessarily will be cut to nine games (as ’82 was), nor will you have the oddity of replacement players en masse (like ’87 had). But I do think there’ll be aspects of the season that will go sideways, and the NFL, to its credit, knows it and is preparing for that.

So how are ’82 and ’87 remembered? I think most people who didn’t live it (I was way too young, 2, to remember the former, and have faint memories of the latter) probably wouldn’t look at championships or accolades from that year (John Elway was MVP and Reggie White DPOY in ’87) much differently. But it doesn’t take much Google acumen to discover how weird all the numbers from those seasons look.

To me, that feels like the likely result of this year.

From Dan Heiserman (@HeisermanDan): Has any player in history ever been on more teams than Josh McCown?

Speaking of Google, Dan, I didn’t know the answer to this and was legitimately interested, so I looked and found that legend-of-the-aughts J.T. O’Sullivan was on 11 (!) different NFL teams (Saints, Packers, Bears, Vikings, Patriots, Panthers, Lions, Niners, Bengals, Chargers, Raiders), which unbelievably matches McCown’s number (Cardinals, Lions, Raiders, Dolphins, Panthers, Niners, Bears, Bucs, Browns, Jets, Eagles).

A little more bumping around the internet showed that kicker Bill Cundiff was, at one point or another, with 13 different NFL teams (Cowboys, Bucs, Packers, Saints, Falcons, Chiefs, Lions, Browns, Ravens, Washington, Niners, Jets, Bills). And I’m sure there are other backup quarterbacks and kickers—playing positions where careers are longer, which facilitates this sort of movement—out there like these guys.

All of them must have pretty cool jersey displays in their basements.

From SUPER BOWL SUPER BROWNS HELL YEAH!!! (@WAH3rd): Should I still go back to the party barn and start drinking at 7 a.m. and yell at people on Saturdays this fall like I used to?

This is a very specific message just for me and a lot of other people who were in legit mourning on Tuesday night—and this will be absolutely be one of the Lane Avenue casualties (right there with the Varsity Club) of the depressing news we all got. It’s hard to describe the Party Barn if you don’t know what it is already, so I won’t try.

And the answer is yes.

From Skeeter6265 (@skeeter6265): Do you think Ohio will beat Michigan?

I was very excited for Michigan to celebrate the 20th anniversary of its last win in Columbus—that was in the fall of my junior year—this November. Maybe that team can have a Zoom reunion to commemorate it now.

From FootballFan64 (@FFan64): With college coaches out of the running for NFL openings since their season is moving to the spring, which NFL coordinators do you expect to be coveted for any newly vacated HC positions? Who is this year’s Matt Rhule?

Well, Football Fan, I’m not sure that colleges playing in the spring (if that even happens) would prevent NFL teams from making runs at coaches at that level. If, and again it’s a big if, college football goes in the spring semester, my guess would be the season would start in February (you can’t just start the season the minute kids get back to campus). The NFL coaching carousel is spinning at the beginning of January. So there’d be time.

The NFL coordinator names you’ll hear most are some of the usual suspects from the last couple cycles—Patriots OC Josh McDaniels, Chiefs OC Eric Bieniemy, Ravens coordinators Greg Roman and Wink Martindale, 49ers DC Robert Saleh and Saints DC Dennis Allen would be on that list. I’d also just keep an eye on Falcons DC Raheem Morris, Chiefs pass-game coordinator Mike Kafka and Titans OC Arthur Smith as names that could pop up.

As for the next Matt Rhule, the NFL will continue to have interest in Oklahoma’s Lincoln Riley, and Ohio State’s Ryan Day is beginning to be held in that sort of regard among those in the pros. But both those guys have jobs that are very well-paying and, in reality, better than the majority of jobs they’d find in the NFL. Stanford’s David Shaw and Northwestern’s Pat Fitzgerald have long been on the radar of the league, but haven’t shown much appetite for leaving their alma maters. And Minnesota’s P.J. Fleck is a fun name to keep an eye on.

From Shawn Tangen (@SMTangen): How is Kevin Warren viewed within NFL circles?

Shawn, I’d say it’s pretty mixed. And I got some pretty strong reaction from certain corners of the NFL about the Big Ten commissioner (and former Vikings executive) after the conference canceled its season on Tuesday.

Warren was a polarizing figure inside the Minnesota locker room during the Adrian Peterson scandal of 2014—Peterson felt like Warren betrayed him to the point where Warren’s promotion to COO was a sticking point in the star’s contract negotiation. That was a situation that coach Mike Zimmer had to manage, and ultimately defuse, on the ground with the players, and it’s just one example in his NFL past where he’s rankled co-workers.

On top of that, many NFL people felt like Warren’s move to the Big 10 was with designs on eventually making a run at becoming NFL commissioner down the line. In that regard, the final result of his management of the last week (a result we won’t have for a while) will probably go a long way in determining whether those aspirations are realistic or not. I’d just hope his decisions here weren’t made with that in mind.

From Brycen Papp (@BrycenPapp): Do you think this season will be a massive shift in the way the draft process works? Will the NFL lower the requirements for college players to be draft eligible to two years instead of three?

Brycen, I think there will be a shift to the draft process to a degree, and we’re going to get into that in the GamePlan on Thursday. But I do want to get into your question on the NFL’s age requirement, because it’s a fascinating one—and something we covered extensively on the podcast this week.

I believe many of the best players in the Big 10 and Pac-12, from places like Ohio State, Oregon, USC, Penn State and Michigan, will sign with agents now, and go into draft prep. Because of that, and how the Big 10/Pac-12 shutdown devalues this college season, I think we’ll also see some attrition from the other conferences. That could lead to some players who only played two years of college football and skipped the required third year out of high school, going high in next April’s draft.

That, in turn, could open the door in the future for players with two good years on their resume skipping their junior year to protect themselves and prepare for the draft—in the same way Christian McCaffrey skipping his bowl game in 2016 gave others cover to do the same. At that point, the idea that players need three years of development to be NFL-ready gets broken down, and now you have guys taking a “gap year” instead.

Which isn’t good for the players, for college football or for the NFL.

It’s important to remember here too that it’s not college football keeping guys in school for three years. It’s pro football. The three-year rule is an NFL rule. And when Maurice Clarett and Mike Williams sued to become eligible for the draft in 2004, it wasn’t a school, a conference or the NCAA they sued. It was the NFL. So the ball would be in the NFL’s court on this one, if the situation comes to a head.

From Sam Perrone (@samjp33): Do you think the NFL would be willing to move the draft if the college football season bleeds into the spring?

I think, Sam, the NFL will do whatever it needs to in order to support the golden goose that is college football. Why? College football is very good for the NFL. And primarily for three reasons.

1) It’s a free minor league. The NFL, unlike the other sports, doesn’t have to fund a complex minor-league system to develop college-aged players. The expense of doing so in a sport like football would be astronomical and the opportunity to monetize it, as we’ve seen with other start-up leagues in the past, would be pretty limited.

2) It’s a marketing monster for star players coming in. Say what you will about Tim Tebow and Johnny Manziel—they were legit sports-world celebrities before they lifted a single dumbbell in preparation for the draft. Everyone knows who Joe Burrow, Tua Tagovialoa and Chase Young are. Ezekiel Elliott and Saquon Barkley were household names as collegians. And all of that is great for the NFL on so many different levels.

3) College football is the foundation for the NFL’s tentpole offseason event. The draft is The Draft because of college football. We’ve been watching most of the top players for years. It marries two wildly popular entertainment entities. The draft itself wouldn’t be nearly the event it is without college football.

So, in order to protect the sanctity of a spring college football season (as much of a sham as it might be) would the NFL be willing to move the draft back a few weeks? Well, of course it would be.

• Question or comment? Email us.

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[useyourrwords]

Month in Review // The Month From Hell – March

This month has given me more breakdowns than I can count.

So maybe it’s not the single worst month I’ve ever lived but honestly, it’s pretty high up there!

Between a car accident, still going through the mess of changing names, pain, oh so much fucking pain, a new doctor who doesn’t know how to help me, and an altercation I wish to just forget, I’m just about ready to hide under my blankets and never leave my room.

Unfortunately, that’s not an option and so I am sitting at me desk at work writing this instead.

If you would like to buy any of the following books please consider using my Book Depository Affliate link!

         Month’s TBR

│The Dream Thieves││

│Skylarks││

│The Surface Breaks││

│The Female of the Species│││

│Sharp Objects││

│Blue Lily, Lily Blue││

│Truly Devious││

│Khutulun│tatterhood│Agnodice│Te Puea Herangi│Moremi Ajasoro│Sybil Ludington│Kurmanjan Datka│Andamana│Mary Seacole│Florence Nightingale│Gráinne “Grace O’Malley” Ni Mháille│Rejected Princesses││

│Empress Xi Ling Shi│Hatsheput│Agnodice│Trung Trӑc & Trung Nhi│Fatima Al-Fihri│Bygone Badass Broads││

     Read

│The Surface Breaks│Lousie O’Neill│││││★★★★│Read Mar 13│

This book was so unapologetically feminist, I loved it.

│The Dream Thieves│The Raven Cycle #2│Maggie Stiefvater│││││★★★★★│Read Mar 25│

I think I jumped into this book too quickly after finishing the first so it took me a while to get through it but I got there eventually.

│Truly Devious│Truly Devious #1│Maureen Johnson│││││DNF Mar 22│

I don’t think fiction audiobooks are for me! at least not ones I haven’t already read. I’m switching to Non-Fic/memoirs and I’ll try rereading a fave eventually to see how I go with that.

│I’ve Got This Round│Mamrie hart││││

After realising ficiton audiobooks weren’t for me I needed a win so I returned Truly Devious for this because i love Mamrie and there’s no way I wouldn’t love this. I was right.

│Skylarks│Karen Gregory│││││

I’ve just been super invested in this one. I don’t know if it’s because i wasn’t reading it regularly since I normally read ARCs while I’m exercising…and I’ve not been exercising like at all this month. I don’t know. I’ll give it another go next month if I have time but otherwise it’ll probably be pushed back to May.

│Rad Girls Can│Kate Schatz│││││

I switched to this ARC since it’s only 112 pages and I figured SURELY I can finish this before the month is up. Nope. So April it is!

│Khutulun│tatterhood│Agnodice│Te Puea Herangi│Moremi Ajasoro│Sybil Ludington│Kurmanjan Datka│Andamana│Mary Seacole│Florence Nightingale│Gráinne “Grace O’Malley” Ni Mháille│Rejected Princesses│Jason Porath│││││

│Empress Xi Ling Shi│Hatsheput│Agnodice│Trung Trӑc & Trung Nhi│Fatima Al-Fihri│Bygone Badass Broads│Mackenzi Lee│││││

I didn’t do much but at least I got my entries read for both of these!

Book of the Month

│The Female of the Species│Mindy McGinnis││││││★★★★★│Read Mar 31│

Once I realised just how little I read this month and made myself power through this one and omg it was soooo good and worth it. I needed this book this month.

│Average Rating: 4.5★’s│ 5│

Structured TBR Pass or Fail?

│Must Read:  3/5│ 0/1│ 0/0│ 2/2│ 3/3│ 10/10│ 5/5│

│Allowances:  1/1│ 1/1│ 0/0│ 0/0│ 0/1│

Clearly this was a terrible reading month. I got hardly any reading done. I started off relatively strong but then I stopped exercising (for reasons I’ll go into further later in this post) so that was less time spent reading. And then I spent far more time watching TV when I should have been reading because Depression. And the audiobook wasn’t really working out for me so I didn’t get that read either. FUN.

     Haul

│Barbed Wire Heart│Tess Sharpe│││

I loved Far From You so when I saw this was available on Netgalley I knew I needed it! And it wasn’t even a request, just one you could immediately download and my international blogger heart is v. v. thankful.

│Vicious│Villains #1│V.E. Schwab││

│Vengeful│Villains #1│V.E. Schwab│││

If you’ve been paying attention to my hauls sections you’re probably thinking “doesn’t Grey already have both of these books and the answer to that is yes absolutely but listen.

I have the paperback copy of Vicious in the old cover art because i bought it years ago…Well my mum bought it for me years ago but same same.

Then it was announced that with the long-awaited release of Vengeful we’d get all new cover art so I knew I’d be re-buying the first no matter what.

And then the collector’s edition came out for Vicious.

So I bought that and then Book Depository listed the hardback for Vengeful as a collector’s edition and so I ordered that as a birthday present to myself.

Only I don’t actually think it is a collector’s edition because it doesn’t say so on the cover or anything but oh well.

So I finally have both books with new covers only I don’t want to read them because if I do, I’ll want to annotate them and I don’t annotate collector’s edition as a rule for myself.

So I had to buy the paperbacks. I just had to. My hands were tied. Did I really have the money to? No, but I’ve had a hard month so fuck it.

Past Grey Reads

 Book Review // Girl Made of Stars – I Am Broken

 Grey Reads // Everything’s On Fire and I Couldn’t Be Happier – Girls of Paper and Fire

 Grey Reads // Bloody Moors & Candy Castles – The Wayward Children 2 & 3

       Film & TV

Honestly I barely remember what I did actually watch.

Month’s TBW

│The Bold Type│Season 2││

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││

│RuPaul’s Drag Race│Season 11││

│I Am The Night│Season 1││

│The Umbrella Academy│Season 1││

│Russian Doll│Season 1││

│Sex Education│Season 1││

     Watched

│The Bold Type│Season 2││2017│ Sarah Watson│ Katie Stevens, Aisha Dee, Meghann Fahy│★★★★★│

This show is so fucking good, I’m not not so patiently waiting for the third season to come out next month!

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││2013│ Daniel J. Goor, Michael Schur│ Andre Braugher, Andy Samberg, Stephanie Beatriz│Watching weekly episodes│★★★★★│

The episode with the murder in the apartment and the making stupid promises to the mum and Jake slowly going crazy and Rosa with a different hair style every scene??? Iconic!

│RuPaul’s Drag Race│Season 11││2009│ RuPaul│RuPaul, Michelle Visage│Watching weekly episodes│★★★★★│

Between Miss Vanjie being the narrator of the season (and maybe my fave of all time), her hoemance with Brooke Lyn Heights, Yvie’s take no shit, own your shit attitude and Plastique’s fish???? I am in love with this season.

I could do without Silky’s obnoxious everything and R. Kelly style Untucked breakdowns but whatever.

│Russian Doll│Season 1││2019│  Leslye Headland, Natasha Lyonne, Amy Poehler│ Natasha Lyonne, Charlie Barnett, Greta Lee│★★★★★│

I am in love with Russian Doll and everything about it. It’s short, it’s smart, it’s quality TV and it’s fucking funny.

│Sex Education│Season 1││2019│ Laurie Nunn│ Asa Butterfield, Gillian Anderson, Emma Mackey│★★★★★│

This show is stupid funny but it’s also super intelligent and important. This is such a good show for teens to have easy access to and I can’t wait for the new season.

│Queer Eye│Season 3││2018│ Bobby Berk, Karamo Brown, Tan France │★★★★★│

This season had me crying my eyes out and I loved every second of it.

But my favourite moment is when Jody, on the first episode, comes out for the big reveal and the guys all lose their fucking minds! Especially Karamo’s and Antoni’s reactions. They were absolutely fucking gold.

│Game of Thrones│Season 1││2011│ David Benioff, D.B. Weiss│ Emilia Clarke, Peter Dinklage, Kit Harington│★★★★│

I mean, yes I am well aware of the problems Game of Thrones have and I am trash for it anyway. Is it as amazing as I initially thought?? Not at all but I’m in too deep now I can’t just not watch the final season.

So here I am re-watching the entire show with my mum to drag it out just a little longer and hopefully by the time we’re all caught up the final season, in it’s entirety, will be well and truly out.

I just have to try and avoid spoilers until then…which should actually be very easy because of something I’ll announce in my Month Ahead post.

Me after this month.

     Music

│YUNGBLUD│11 Minutes + Halsey│Loner│Falling Skies + Charlotte Lawrence│

│Dodie│Burned Out│

│Troye Sivan + Lauv│i’m so tired…│

│Noah Cyrus│Sadness│Good Cry│

│Julia Michaels│Anxiety + Selena Gomez│Happy│

│Steve Aoki│Waste It on Me + BTS│

Past Grey Watches

 Grey Watches // I Hate It So Much I Love It – A Christmas Prince

 Grey Watches // It Has To Be A Shit Show – A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

 Grey Watches // I Wanna Bone Jude Law and Kate Winslet – The Holiday

Use Your Words Highlights

 Grey Reads // Bloody Moors & Candy Castles – The Wayward Children 2 & 3

 Top Ten Tuesday // Audible and Overdrive Are My Lords & Saviors – My Audiobook TBR

     Blogosphere Highlights

│Laura @ The Book Corps│#UNSOLVEDATHON: A BUZZFEED UNSOLVED READATHON — ANNOUNCEMENT AND SIGN UP!│#UNSOLVEDATHON BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS!│

│Elise @ The Bookish Actress│Why I’m Not Honestly That Excited for Game of Thrones: Season Eight│Eighteen Things I’ve Learned In My First Eighteen Years│

│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│True Crime Tuesday: The Moors Murders│

│Jamieson @ Jamishelves│IF YOU LIKE THIS BOOK YOU’LL LIKE THIS TV SHOW !│

│Vicky @ Vicky Who Reads│Stressed About College? These Book Recs Are For You!│

│Ellyn @ Allonsythornraxxbooks│5 TIPS ON ANNOTATING YOUR BOOKS!│

│Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books│10 YA BOOKS DEALING WITH ANXIETY│

│Avery @ Red Rocket Panda│DOWN THE TBR HOLE | USING THE #KONMARIE METHOD FOR MY PHYSICAL SHELVES│

│Fadwa @ Word Wonders│#DIVERSEBOOKBLOGGERSDISCUSS: THE FANTASY OF HISTORICAL ROMANCE│(SOME) BOOK BLOGGING PRESSURES & HOW TO FIGHT THEM│WORD WONDERS’ TBR EXPANSION: BOOKS WITH EAST AND SOUTH EAST ASIAN MAIN CHARACTERS│MY PRODUCTIVITY TOOLS – OR HOW TO BE A MASTER ORGANIZER!│

│Aurora @ Aurora Librialis│5 Book Quotes for International Women’s Day│

│Swetlana @ The Caffeinated Bookworm Life│6 Reasons To Watch On My Block│

│Qui @ The Black Lit Queen│Diversity vs. Representation|BLQ Quick Guide│

│Madeline @ Caffeine & Writing Dreams│How to Write Scenes that Balance Plot & Character // Scene and Sequel Sequences│

Past Month In Review

 Month in Review // Christmas is Over Thank Fuck – December

 January in Review // I Cried, Laughed, Ate Pasta, Celebrated My Birthday & Completed TWO Read-A-Thons/Challenges

 Month in Review // I FINALLY CHANGED MY NAME – February

Month’s Goals

 Get my mental health plan

 Book a therapy session I have to wait until April ahhhhhhhh

 Get a massage from mum —I just always forget okay

 Try and take a mental health day

 Try and take a mental health day later in the month

 Keep my shit together —HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

 Start journaling —I will get to this eventually…

 Quit soft drink 

 Start floor exercises—I keep adding this and never get around to it. —I couldn’t even go for my walks for most of the month so…

 Try and read 5 books —I can’t even say I tried. 

 Don’t waste all my time on The Sims 

 Go to Writers Week

Considering how shit this month was I count 7/12 goals reached a fucking accomplishment!

My Nightmare Month

So it started well enough. I went to Writers Week on two different days and thoroughly enjoyed myself! but then i got into a car accident on the way to my third day.

Which was stressful and anxiety inducing. It’s been a nightmare to work through all the aftermath. I didn’t know if the accident would be covered by insurance or if I would even hear from the person who hit me. And then when I did get the good news of being covered I basically had to micromanage the insurance company because they did everything slow and I couldn’t afford slow. So that was loads of phone calls which is something that causes me anxiety so YAY.

It’s mostly all sorted out. I still need to take my plates in and get a refund on my rego which I tried to do a couple days ago and got frustrated so that’s a task for another day.

     I did get to go to the Fringe Festival and see Daniel Sloss’s new comedy special which was absolutely brilliant! He talked about rape culture and really put the onus on men and how they need to work and go out of their way to think critically of themselves and society and what they can do to dismantle rape culture. I laughed and sobbed. My mum nearly pissed herself laughing and it was a great night out with to die for Sri-Lankan food hot buttered squid will blow your fucking mind! and I discovered that I like to drink Pimms.

     Throughout the month I’ve still been sorting out my name change because that is a long and drawn out process of changing my name everywhere and hitting road blocks constantly has be incredibly frustrating but I’m nearly finished!

I have also been doing all of this while in incredible pain because chronic illness.

My March mood

     Basically my feet have been very painful, I knew the solution, doctor refused me, mum took me to a doctor who knows our history and I got the solution so I can actually start walking regularly again which will help my mental health loads.

My mum also took me to replace all of my shoes which was both expensive and needed so I have the best shoes for walking and working and running around doing errands and going out!

I was ready to end the month on a positive. Sure the start had rattled me a lot, and I was big depressed because of pain for most of it but I did have a few great experiences and I’d resolved almost all the long running issues.

     And then while I was waiting for mum to finish work a couple of days ago, I sat and read in the foodcourt.

A man approached me and invaded my personal space and stared at me, knowing it would make me uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that it distracted me from the fact he was trying to steal my purse.

Thankfully I noticed at the last minute and grabbed it back because I would have been a fucking mess if I had gone to all the trouble replacing everything in my purse with my new name on it, only to have to do it all over again because someone stole my it all.

The man walked off but I would be lying if I said it didn’t terrify me. The way he stared at me was so unnerving and I don’t handle people being in my personal space…like at all. Even people I know and trust have to always ask permission first. I don’t let men I know in my personal space at all because I know what men are capable of. But to have a man I don’t know get in my face with the purpose to make me uncomfortable, especially after the month I’ve had, was enough for me to completely come undone.

I’m thankful for the cleaner for checking up on me, even though I burst into tears, and I’m thankful for the girl who approached me after as well to try and be supportive.

She had fire in her eyes and in that moment I had wished that that was what I looked like instead of the girl I was, not being able to hold back tears and trying to keep calm in the middle of an anxiety attack.

More than anything, I’m thankful for my mum for being so supportive and understanding and being exactly what I needed her to be and for calling out the men who made things worse, while trying to help, when I didn’t have the strength to.

I’ve argued with myself on whether to share this and maybe I might delete it all before it gets published, but I think it’s important for women to share their experiences with how men have preyed upon them, whether sexually or not, and how men continue to use their power to get what they want from us, regardless of the negative impact it has on us.

I just—girls, women, know that if something like this happens to you, if something worse happens to you, it’s not your fault, it’s never your fault. The way you react to it is right because it’s your experience and your emotions. I’m trying to remind myself of that. 

And men, know that if you’re not actively trying to stop this shit from happening, aren’t pulling your friends up for those gross comments they make, then you’re part of the fucking problem. I don’t want to hear that you personally would never do this. That shit isn’t enough. It’s never been enough. This all lies at your feet and fuck you for helping to hold up a society that makes us think any of it is our own fault.

And if something like this happens to a girl or woman you know then ask her what she needs, ask her the best way for you to help. Because nine times out of ten the way you react naturally is going to be the complete fucking opposite of what she needs and you might make things worse. And that’s on you, not her.

Past Month Ahead

 Month Ahead // Happy Birthday To Me + Hiatus Announcement – January

 February Ahead // I’m Finally Going To Read The Raven Cycle Series & It’s Black History Month + A Great Resource for Education!!!!!

 Month Ahead // Writers Week, Comedy & Too Much To Do – March

Thank fuck March is over.

What did you do this month? What did you read? What did you watch? What posts did you write that you’re super proud of?

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Untitled third installment of Knocked Up - Snippet

“Matthewwww!” Violet shouted from the couch. “Hurry up, it's starting!”

“I'm comin’!” the man replied as he snatched the bag of popcorn from the microwave. It was a little premature but he dumped the contents into a bowl before rushing back into the living room. He jumped over the back of the couch and landed onto his favorite spot next to his wife.

Their two year old daughter had spread her favorite Storm blanket onto the hardwood floor and was sprawled out next to her best friend, Shea. Her Aunt Raven watched the woman through judgemental eyes.

“Why is she even here?” she asked her wife.

“Because the Lents like her. Hell, she used to be one of them.”

Raven cringed. “That's so disgusting, like, she shouldn't be here. Just because she speaks comic book, doesn't give her the right to call our Goddaughter her ‘best friend’. Do you know how weird that is?”

Naomi exhaled in expression. “She's a really nice lady and Violet wanted her here for the viewing so just get over it.”

“Ssshhhhh!” Violet demanded as she turned up the volume on the TV.

“This week on Bridezillas!” the narrator announced. “Meet Violet.”

Footage of the woman flashed across the screen. “I'm Violet Chachki and I'm a one of a kind collectable. I'm veryyyy visually appealing.”

“A New York fashionista by day and a tyrant by night.”

Violet cackled. “Tyrant?! I was not a tyrant!”

“Matthew! Matthewwww! You’re so full of shit, Matthew! *Bleep* you, Matthew!” They showed  clips of the woman shouting that had be edited together to create a montage of her greatness. “I want chocolate cake! Bloated?! No! Get the fuck away from me! Naomi! Na-o-mi! Naomiiiiiii!”

Matt burst into laughter.

“She'll take you on a rollercoaster ride and leave you with a surprise ending that you'll have to see to believe.”

“We got a runaway bride, y'all!”

They'd edited Raven's voice over the footage of Violet and Naomi sprinting down the busy New York street.

“Coming up on Bridezillassss!” The narrator said before the theme song commenced.

“This is going to be so good,” Matt said as he stuffed his mouth with popcorn.

“I want some too!” Clark declared.

“Open,” Matt replied.

His daughter obliged. She opened her mouth and allowed her father to toss popcorn kernels into in.

“Yum-my,” she said when he managed to land the first few pieces perfectly.

Violet frowned. “Matthew, I don't want her to choke.”

Matt passed the entire bowl over to his daughter before wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulder and pulling her close so that he could kiss her temple.

Raven rolled her eyes and stormed into the kitchen. The woman popped open the first bottle of wine that she could find, pressed it to her lips and turned it upside down. A voice behind her shortly thereafter made her jump.

“I would ask you to share, but I'm trying to get pregnant and drinking is against doctor's orders,” Shea joked.

Raven scowled. “As if I'd share anything with you.”

The woman defensively raised her hands while she grabbed the popcorn that Clark had asked her to make. She placed the packet into the microwave and pressed the corresponding button.

“Why are you here?” the woman pressed. “Dealing with Matthew is bad enough, but to bring his baggage into my best friend's house is just too much for me.”

“I'm here because Violet invited me. We've actually gotten really close since the wedding, especially since she gifted me with her Paris tickets.”

“You've known her for like five minutes.”

“I mean, that's all it takes to get to know someone. That and a little shopping at Neiman's.”

“Yo-You’ve gone shopping together?”

“Oh, plenty of times,” Shea said truthfully. “We even looked at potential furniture for the nursery.”

“Maybe she just feels bad that you can't have a baby,” Raven hissed.

Out of respect for the Lent’s home, the woman remained calm. “Is that so? Maybe she feels bad that neither can your wife.” Shea didn't even wait for the microwave to beep before she popped the hatch, grabbed the bag and casually exited the room.

Raven saw nothing but red as she flung the wine bottle at the other woman. It landed against her head in a loud thump.

Everything after that was a blur. The woman's tunnelled vision was paired with echoing yells and Clark's cries. When Raven finally snapped out of the trance, she realized that she'd made it home. Naomi was seated in the corner across the room, knocking the ashes off of the cigarette that she puffed on.

“Have you come to your fucking senses yet?”

“What happened?” Raven asked.

“You nearly killed Shea!”

“No, babe, she said some really fucked up shit!”

“Like what? Tell me what is horrible enough to get a bottle thrown at your head! And don't lie because I know your ass started it.”

“As a matter of fact, I was defending your ass! She was saying how she shops with Vi and how they're the best of friends and I was brutally honest with her. I told her that Vi probably just feels bad that she can't have kids and she was all like well neither can your wife. How was I supposed to respond to that?!”

“Seriously, Raven? If you're going to be with me, you have to develop a tougher skin than that. I heard crap like that, and way worse, growing up. You can't attack everyone who talks shit. You can't attack the world.”

“If the world tries to hurt you, I will.”

Naomi sighed as she extinguished the cancer stick. “I appreciate the gesture, but that's not how the world works.” The woman pushed herself out of her seat. “Get your coat.”

Raven frowned. “Where are we going?”

“To get some flowers, then to the hospital.”

---

“I walk out of the kitchen and the next thing I know is that I'm seeing stars,” Shea joked. “Like goddamn, is this what I get for undercooking the popcorn?”

Matt and Violet laughed.

“Only you could make a situation like this funny,” the man said.

Clark climbed from the foot of the bed to Shea's side. “Are you sureee you're okay?”

“Besides being a little dizzy, yes, I'm fine.”

“But what about this?” the girl asked as she gently touched the gauze bandage around the woman's head.

“It only hurts a little but I'll be fine, Clark. How are you feeling?”

“Still scared,” she sniffled. “I never saw a lot of blood on the floor before.”

Matt frowned and pulled his daughter into an embrace. “It's okay, boo,” he cooed as he rocked her.

There was a knock on the door before the doctor entered the room.

“So, I have some blood work results. I'm not sure if you want it shared privately or…”

“No, it's fine. What's up?”

“Okay, so, your blood work shows that you have very low iron levels. You're pretty much anemic.”

Shea frowned. “Um, okay, so what does that mean?”

“It means that you've been trying to conceive a baby, but research has shown that women who don’t get enough iron can develop anovulation. That is the lack of ovulating during the menstrual cycle. Low iron levels may also affect the health of the egg to be fertilized. It can diminish your ability to get pregnant by as much as sixty percent.”

“Sixty?! Holy sparkles,” she said, her new cuss word replacement whilst around Clark. “So what do I have to do to fix it?”

“I'm prescribing you some iron pills and recommending food rich in iron and other minerals to help you and the baby out.”

Her eyes grew wide. “B-Baby?”

“Oh, yes. Your blood work also shows that you're currently pregnant.”

“Oh my God!”

“Are we seriously going to be those friends that are knocked up at the same time?!” Violet laughed before hugging the woman. “Congratulations!”

It was a bittersweet moment for Matt. He squeezed his ex's hand. “Congrats.”

The gears in Clark's head were obviously turning. “So there's a baby in Miss Shea's stomach too?”

“Allegedly,” Shea replied.

The girl wrinkled her nose. “How does the baby get in the stomach?”

“Anddddd that's my cue,” Matt said as he turned on his heel and exited the room with the girl in his arms. “Want a soft pretzel?”

“Yes!”

The women burst into laughter.

“The universe works in the craziest ways because we literally just looked at furniture for nurseries,” Violet said. “Now you get to pick out your own.”

“I wouldn't be so quick about this. I've been pregnant before and it usually ends horribly.”

“This one won't,” Violet assured. “We'll keep you on those pills and make sure you eat nickels or some shit.”

“Aww, I love nickels!”

The women cackled just as Naomi hesitantly  entered the room. She cleared her throat before she spoke. “I can't express how sorry I am that this happened to you. Because I'm married to Raven, I automatically bare some of the responsibilities for her mistakes. And from the bottom of my heart, I'm truly sorry,” she sniffled.

“You're married to a goddamn neanderthal, sweetheart,” Shea replied. “And I swear that whenever I see her again, I'm going to kill her. I hope that you have life insurance on her, I hope that you have a burial plot for her and I hope that you have a little black dress ready to wear because I'm literally going to stomp her into the ground- as a matter of fact, you won't even need a funeral home to do the job for you. I’m going to bury that bitch,” she fumed.

“No, no,” Violet intervened. “You won't be doing anything like that.”

“Violet, I understand that she's one of your best friends but she threw a full fucking bottle of wine at my head! I have twenty stitches because of her!”

“I know and it's not even about her being my friend, Shea. You're pregnant.”

Naomi nauseously clutched her abdomen. “You're pregnant?” she wheezed out.

“She is,” Violet responded.

“Oh, God,” Naomi panted.

Her friend pushed herself out of her seat. “Are you okay?”

“No! How am I supposed to feel knowing that Raven has attacked this poor pregnant woman 'in my honor’?!”

“To be fair, I didn't know that I was pregnant until a few minutes ago.”

“It’s not fair,” Naomi sniffled. “She shouldn't be attacking people to begin with and I just feel terrible.”

“Where is she?” Violet asked.

“I told her to wait in the lobby. I wasn't sure if you wanted to see her.”

“Not really,” Shea admitted.

“Me either,” Violet said. “For one, she disrespected my home. Two, she traumatized my fucking daughter, which is damn near unforgivable. Three, she ruined my Bridezilla viewing party and my hardwood floors. Four, she left like an idiot without a goddamn apology.”

“Would you guys be willing to accept an apology from her now?”

Shea casually checked her nails while Violet mindlessly twirled a strand of her hair. “No,” they said collectively before laughing.

Naomi was heartbroken. “That's fair. Um, I guess I'll get going. I hope you feel better soon, Shea. Vi... I'll call you later.”

“Alright, sweetie.” Violet kissed her friend on the cheek before turning back to Shea. “We have to figure out how far along you are! Come to my gyno’s office.”

“I'm down.”

“Do you think our morning sickness will be synced up?”

Shea laughed. “Let’s hope not. But seeing you throw up would totally make me throw up, though.”

“Well, we can't both vomit at the same time. Who will hold back our hair?”

The question was trivial but it hit Naomi in a way that reminded her that she'd never experience  pregnancy or be able to have sweet moments like this with her best friend. With tears in her eyes, she slipped out of the room and made her way towards the lobby where Raven greeted her.

“What happened?”

“Shea is pregnant.”

The woman gulped. “I didn't... I didn't hurt the baby, did I?”

“No. I mean, as far as I know. But God, Raven. Why do you have to be so fucking psychotic?!” Naomi stormed pass her wife and out of the hospital doors but Raven was quick on her heels.

“I'm not psychotic!”

“You burn things and you attack people, what else would you call that?!”

“Protective!”

“Oh, yeah,” she scoffed. “Protect me from my best friend who now hates you and wants hardly anything to do with me because of it.”

Raven paused. “Vi hates me?”

“She's livid for the following reasons: you disrespected her home. You traumatized CC, which will never forgive you for. You ruined her Bridezilla viewing party and her hardwood floors. You left without apologizing.”

“I’m sorry, I blacked out! I could apologize now and-”

“It's too late to apologize, Raven! You can't react in situations now and think later! That's how people end up incarcerated for murder!”

The woman pondered for a second. “Surprisingly, I've never been to jail.”

Naomi threw her arms up in exasperation and proceeded to storm off.

[chocolate-brownies]

Winter is coming. When the nights start getting longer and the hours of sunlight significantly shorter, many people may experience what we not-so-affectionately call the “winter blues.” Yet for some, a case of the “winter blues” is a debilitating condition that psychologists know as Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. The acronym is particularly fitting, as for those afflicted it’s no fun at all.

No matter the level of severity, no one wants the winter blues to stick around. Here are nine all-natural ways to kick them to the curb in these final weeks of winter.

1. Catch your zzz’s. Make a commitment to your sleep. When life gets busy and stress builds, the first thing we generally cut back on is sleep. Don’t let that happen. Stick to a regular bedtime every night, and give yourself time to relax before you head for bed to be sure your body is ready for slumber.

2. Move your body! When the weather turns freezing and dark it’s easy to delay your workout by promising yourself you’ll do an evening class. But when the sun sets, the plan doesn’t seem so attractive, and you ditch the whole idea. Beware getting into this cycle. Commit to moving your body through a physical activity that brings you satisfaction, even joy. What makes you happy? Think for a moment. Is it yoga? Do that. Is it spinning? Do that. Is it dancing around your house? Pump up the music and do that.

Practice on Wanderlust TV all year-round and soak up those Wanderlust O’ahu vibes right from home!

3. Check your vitamin D levels. Winter is obviously a season of sunshine deprivation, which means your vitamin D levels are probably low. In fact, the majority of people get only half as much vitamin D as their body needs! Your doctor’s office can do a quick test of your vitamin D levels, which will likely inform you that you need a boost. Get outside for at least 15 minutes a day, preferably when the sun is at its highest, to get some sunlight on your face and lift your mood. But just to be sure, consider a vitamin D supplement. I take one every morning.

4. Keep a balanced diet. I know, I know, the dark winter months probably turn you into a sugar monster ravenous for cake, cookies, and candy. It happens to the best of us—but say no to the three C’s. Sugar may provide an immediate and tasty rush, but it quickly creates even greater fatigue. Avoid the grocery aisles loaded with sugary foods, and fill up your shopping cart with dark, leafy greens, organic fruit, healthy fats, and lean proteins instead. The better you eat, the better you will feel.

5. Consider light therapy. If your winter blues refuse to budge in spite of a careful regimen, look into light therapy. A special therapy lamp provides exposure to light that the body recognizes as sunlight. I went to college in Syracuse in upstate New York, where winters are often long and brutal. To keep my spirits up in spite of the weather, I had what I called my “happy lamp” in my dorm room, and I used it every morning.

6. Do a buddy check. Feel a little isolated? Pick one of your most action-oriented buddies, and make a plan to have a weekly check-in about ways you can defunk the winter blues. Sharing is caring.

7. Find things that make you happy. What brings you joy? What makes you smile and feel great? List the things in life that make you the happiest and schedule them in. Make it mandatory. Get action-oriented. Pencil it in ahead of time so it’s an active part of your routine.

8. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Think about all the things that are wonderful this time of year. A beautiful snowfall, cuddly pajamas, warm soup, hot tea, etc. Make it a point to regularly remind yourself of what you’re grateful for. Doing this daily will totally shift your mindset into a happier one.

9. Show yourself some love. We live in a speeding world. It’s important to slow it down, take some deep breaths, and tune in to yourself and your needs. Feel like you need some extra sleep? Take a nap. Think a hot bath would feel really good? Do that.

Listen to whatever it is that you need—take good care of you every single day.

—

Amy Kurtz is health and wellness expert and author of the new book, Kicking Sick. She deeply believes in the power of self-care and it is her mission to teach people how to truly take care of themselves. A Health + Wellness Coach, Author, Pilates Instructor and Detox Expert based in NYC. Amy coaches clients who strive to get healthier while also helping those with chronic health conditions thrive. She coaches people how to become advocates for their own well-being and provides a framework to find harmony between their mind, body, and soul. Visit Amy on the web to find out more, and follow her on Twitter and on Instagram for daily tips, inspiration, and motivation. 

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