#or will Old Xian wrap up the story with many questions left?

[el-pintor]

I don't want to say this but the recent chapters and the continuation of them as adults feel like a goodbye

[dindooku]

ao3 - loulou1810

you hesitated, knowing there was no other way around this. he could just look you up on the holocomputer. your name would be top of the list. and he’ll, you were in a max prison security unit, so using petty crime wouldn’t cut it either.

you’d have to tell him, be honest. that’s the honourable thing to do, right?

tw - contains violence, suggestive themes and flashbacks of sexual assault/rape

word count: 5,040

____

His chair slowly turned to face you. The child was sat comfortably in his lap playing with a small silver ball, completely entranced by its chrome.

“Is that it?” He scoffed back with a slight hiccup of a laugh. “Me too, why’d they lock you up there? Bit overkill?”

“Yeah…” You drifted, wondering whether you should tell the truth. “I was captured about 2 years ago…” You start, gauging his reaction to see whether he actually wanted to know. He sat up and fixed his gaze to you, signalling that he was listening and for you to continue. You dropped your head, eyes now transfixed on the loose piece of thread you were wrapping around your fingers,

“Well, I was captured. I was originally what you could call a hit-man for the Republic. I’d worked for them consistently for around 8 years. They used me to hunt down and dispose of Ex-Empire politicians and War Lords, but one mission went south and I was drugged. I was then sold to a high-class underground fighting ring, they’d implanted some sort of control chip which meant they could stop me from lashing out or protesting. They could make me do whatever they wanted…” you paused.

This part of the memory was particularly painful. “They didn’t just use me for fighting,” There were so many hidden meanings and stories hidden there, stories you’ve hidden away and not even bared to think about yourself. They’re too painful, just thinking about it felt like daggers were being slowly pushed into your skull, “One customer had let their name loose during…” Your breath hitched, tears now pricking your eyes as the trauma replayed vividly in-front of your eyes, again and again. You close your eyes so that Mando can’t see how much this has affected you. “I committed the name to memory. During one fight I heard that name again. I saw them in the crowd and something in me just snapped, I couldn’t take the pressure anymore. As soon as I’d dealt with my opponent I sent a knife straight through his skull.” The memory was clear as day now and just as callous.

The extravagant curtains draped the room. Rows of black leather chairs lined the arena, circling around the central ring. The lights were dim, a subtle red stained the multicultural onlookers in a bloodied mood lighting. This was a highly prestigious place, only the highest-ranking officials and galactic influencers could witness this fight… this was obvious from the lavish guest attire. Some coated greedily in gold, others jewels and crystals. Normally you’d be dismayed by the lavish beauty of it all, but not today. You were fighting for your life against one of your more difficult opponents. They were at least 3 times your size, chiselled from pure warrior muscle, wielding a heavy battle-axe which was decorated with the bones of their previous wins. You’d given them a run for your money the whole fight, slowly chipping away at their ego with your double-edged Phrik knives. These were the only weapons you needed. Despite this, you weren’t yourself in this moment. Your targets unbeknownst to you were sat peacefully in the viewing box. Your thoughts were painful, the weight of the constant torture and manipulation had worn you thin, you were on your last tether. Despite the chip stopping you from resisting, your soul was ripping that connection from you with every punch, kick and slice. ‘This is your purpose, do it’ swirled your mind in a violent tempest. The words tortured you, controlling every cell in your body.

And then you heard it, their name. You glanced towards its direction. They were right there, in front of you, taunting you with their presence. ‘Complete the mission. Do what you have trained to do. Feed that temptation ’. You’d had enough. As if timed moved slower now, you slid under the belly of your opponent, grabbing their ankle you kicked yourself up, swinging onto their back. You planted a knife into the nape of their neck, twisting it to make sure. As they fell forwards you used the momentum to jump, launching your other knife over the barrier and into the viewing box.  It left your fingers before you could control it, before you could stop yourself. The next few seconds felt like a lifetime that day. The confused agony not leaving their face until you’d dropped to of view. You’d watched their face as they realised what had happened. The synthetic mind that had been forced into you left the moment the knife did, and the weight of that kill latched onto your soul.

“The synthetic consciousness left with the knife. What I didn’t know is that they were a high ranking Republican political official, and you can piece the puzzle from there. That was that. It was over for me”

You could feel his rage. This had angered him more than you.  You didn’t dare say a thing. You fiddled harder with the fabric in your fingers now, the anxiety was suffocating you and you didn’t know what to do.  You knew that what the officer did to you was wrong, illegal. But the way you’d been treated afterwards was what stung. You were the dirty criminal, they were a war hero. It didn’t take long for them to convince you that you were crazy, that you were a psychopath.

This guilt would carry you to the grave, maybe even push you in.

“If it wasn’t your choi-… if it was synthetic, why’d they lock you up? You were kidnapped and manipulated.” The question fair, and exactly the same question that had eaten away at you ever since they sentenced you. You were taken, held hostage, abused and tortured. Your body became a toy, something for them to release their anger and lustful cravings on. The pain they slowly incited within you only made things easier for them, more enjoyable, they fed off your hate. You tried to cut your emotions, but what they did to you was unforgivable, sadistic. They used your emotions against you, like Lori said would happen. By the time their use for you came around you were an empty shell, stripped bare. They implanted you, and with the flip of a switch, you were their puppet.

“My kidnappers implanted a chip into my brain. They could control me when they wanted, on and off like a droid. It was an old hijacked Clone Wars tech. They only had one use for me, making money. Once I’d done their bidding for them, they’d turn it off. After the incident though, they destroyed the switch along with the evidence. I was classed as insane. The Republic arrested me and took me in. That's how I ended up in the transporter. I was Disposable”

The last word rang your ears, it was driven into you from the start. No one had any attachments to you, no one. You were nothing. A credit without currency. An object.

The sigh that left your body felt like it took the last remaining pieces of your soul. Your tears relenting now, a nervous response to the rehashed trauma. You’d thought about it until your mind was raw. No matter how hard you reasoned with your conscience, you couldn’t shake the guilt. It was your fault, you knew it. You wished that you hadn’t thrown that knife, that you’d had more self-control and restraint. Deep down though, there was no other reason, you killed them, no one else. You, you’re the sick psycho.

“So they can’t control you anymore?” It was low, quiet. You knew he was trying to understand how it all worked, it was confusing even to you, and you weren’t the best at explaining things either.

“I don’t think so, they said they’d destroyed the controller,” You told yourself that they couldn’t control you like they did then, not anymore. But you couldn’t deny the power they still held over you. The way they’d manipulated, engraved their domination into you meant that you’d do anything they’d say out of fear. They were the only people you feared. You couldn’t face that pain again, and you knew resisting would only lead to torture. Out here in this ship, flying through hyperspace… they had no grip here, you were away from them, free.

He seemed uneasy, and you thought it was because he suspected that you could just turn on him at the flick of a switch. You were sure that they’d destroyed it. They’d not used it since…

“Would you like a job?” Out of everything you thought that he was going to say, you really could not have ever thought he’d be asking to employ you. You darted your eyes up, the confusion on your face was almost painful. Completely speechless. He elaborated, “I need someone to look after the Kid” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You’d just told this guy that you were a top-ranking assassin and now he wants to employ you as his babysitter?

“Are you having a laugh?” Is all you could say, chuckling as the words left your mouth. You’d never dealt with kids. You had no idea what you were doing. Mando seemed to be doing fine, why did he need you?

“Why, what makes you think that?” He sounds confused now. He shifts his head back a bit, his back straightening. He really did not know why this was all so confusing…

“You want me…me?” you point to your chest, emphasising your concern “of all people, you want me to look after the Child? Did you listen to a word I just said?”

“Yeah. You’re overqualified. Exactly what I’m looking for.” Right, this is odd. You pinch yourself, are you really awake. Have you somehow died or is this some messed up dream?

“I don’t understand?” You curt back, arms now folded in an aggressive manner. You weren’t up for being played around.

“I need someone who can protect the Child, you said you were trained and that’s obvious, I saw the way you moved from me in the cell, how you came away unscathed from Xian” He was right. You started to see what he was getting at, and despite agreeing that you could quite comfortably be the Childs personal bodyguard, you couldn’t deny the fact you had no idea how to look after a Child in the first place.

“I have no idea how to look after a Child…”

“Neither do I, we can figure it out together” He looked down to check on the kid. He was in a whole other galaxy, completely amiss to the tense situation happening just in front of him, the chrome ball his only concern. Mando’s gaze held for a moment, you assumed to weigh up all the possibilities of what he was offering. He turned back to you.

“You can call me Mando” And with that, he left the cockpit to put his weapons away in the main hull. You glanced at the child’s beaming toothy grin as he was carried away. You were frozen. That was it. You’d just bagged yourself a job.

___

He watched you, eyes bearing into your back as you assessed what was now going to be your new home…if you could even call it that. He handed you a small bag of clothes, some black long sleeve t-shirt’s that were way too big for you, some trousers and toiletries. The gesture was appreciated. You placed it down next to the metal slab of a pull-out bed… Damn, it is what is. You scold yourself, you’ve never had luxury, why do you expect it now? Maybe the promise of freedom was sweeter than it actually was. He nods for you to follow him out of the room.

He shows you the fresher, which is small but practical. Next, the carbonite freezer, explaining briefly that this is where his bounties go. Then, he pointed to his cabin, making it explicitly clear not to enter or open it unless he says so, even in emergencies. You thought it was odd but then it clicked as to why, and so you let the question die before it surfaced.

You’ve heard the stories of Mandalorian’s, how they’re the fiercest warriors in the galaxy. You’d read books about the battles, the power that ran through their blood. Through your job, you’d come across a few who posed as Mandalorian's but were never real. They wore the armour for protection and style, never out of honour. But with the way this guy acted, spoke and had some sort of attachment issues to his armour… you sussed he was the real deal. Xian even said the doesn’t take it off during…stop.

_____

A few days had passed now and Mando was getting more and more agitated. You’d stopped off at a small spaceport on a remote planet to gather more supplies and fuel.  

You walked together through the market. He’d given you a small bag of credits so that you could get some spare clothes, toiletries and anything else you’d need for your stay on the Razor Crest. It wasn’t much but was enough to tide you over. You couldn’t complain, you had no money so it was better than nothing. You made sure to say thanks as you walked out the ship, following just behind him.

The market was a bit overwhelming at first, but once you’d realised that no one was out to get you you settled down. Mando walked in front, the Kid sat up in his pod, watching the people go about their lives. You noticed that people were making extra effort to stay out of his way, turning to whisper to others as you passed. He stuck out like a sore thumb wearing all that armour, but he didn’t seem to care. It certainly made traversing the busy streets a lot easier. You also found that you got things for a lot cheaper too, he’d stand just over your shoulder each time you went to a stall. The owner would give you the biggest smile whilst simultaneously trying not to anger the armoured chrome bucket behind you.

You found one stall that sold a bazaar range of things, from cutlery to footwear. But what caught your eye was the small Orback toy sat over in the far corner. It was perfect for the kid, it’d keep him distracted and it meant that Mando might get the silver chrome ball back. You asked for the price, not bothering to haggle the shopkeeper. Once you’d paid for it he handed it over and you placed it straight into the Childs hands. He looked it over for a second, confused at what you were giving him. He soon realised and the noise he made melted your heart, he was ecstatic. Waving it around in the air you grabbed the silver ball and handed it to Mando. He nodded at you, then glanced at the now screaming child who was what looked like laying down the law to his new friend.

After a while, the distance between you and Mando got closer and closer until there came a point where your arms were practically nudging one-another with each stride. You didn’t mind the contact, it was nice actually. Even in the busy streets, you felt like the only one there, his presence looming and protective. As the streets got busier you started to get antsy, you’re now scanning for possible threats. You didn’t want to slip up on your first day on the job, first impressions count. Mando could sense your tension and tried to soothe you by resting a hand onto the small of your back as you were walking. It brought your attention away from the dark alleyway and the rooftops and right into his touch. It paid off and you were instantly calmer. You said thanks through a small smile, which still hadn’t left your face whilst you were packing your stuff away back on the ship.

“We have to go somewhere, to pick up someone. I know you’re skilled in fighting, more than many I’ve seen” The compliment lands short as he continues, “The Child has a bounty and he isn’t safe until we take out the root cause. I'm going to need your help with this, is that ok?”

“Yes… for the Child, anything” He stared at you for a second. You guessed it was so he could read your face, ensure that you were ok with what he was asking of you. If it meant that the Child would be safe, then you’d do it. You know it was now your job, but over the few days you’ve been part of his crew, the Child has grown on you, incredibly. He’s already taught you so much, things you never thought you’d learn, and you’re grateful to the Child for that. Even though he can’t talk, he still finds ways to communicate warmth and hope. You don’t like to admit it but he is growing on you…a lot. He nodded and then left for the cockpit, firing up the engines and directing the ship out of the port. You turned away, walking back to your room.

__________

You wake screaming, the torture of your nightmare gripping your neck vindictively, suffocating you, dragging you into the depths of your mind that you never want to re-visit. You’re screaming but its broken, bloodied, hurt. You’re sat upright now, gripping your neck as you find release, the door to your cabin swinging open. He rushes in, quickly scanning the room for the cause, only to set his eyes on you and realise the root of the problem. He slows, just a small space between the both of you now, his helm still checking to ensure there’s no physical harm causing your pain.

You struggle to catch your breath, still clutching at your throat. The dried tears coating your cheeks, your eyes glint off of the ships dimmed lights. The extend of your struggle was shown in the reflection of his Beskar suit, the physical strain pertinent around your neck, the grip you’d been holding was enough to kill.

You were still struggling to breathe but were completely conscious now. Mando reached out a hand to your shoulder, trying to soothe you, “Breathe” He looks again to triple check the child isn’t doing any crazy magic as he had woken in a fit of tears too.

You quickly turn to look at him, your breathing still hoarse. The physical contact cutting through your mind and bringing you to now. Your eyes search for his. The black visor stared back. It’s probably good that you can’t see his face, as its currently slightly torn at the physical wound you’d inflicted to yourself in your sleep. His eyes scan the rest of your body, gazing at your arms which are now bare, the sleeves of the black-top he had given you were now rolled up. They’re riddled with scars of different shapes and sizes, but obvious. He glanced to your neck again, the edges of some pointed out from under the neck of the tee, some raised, some etched, some burned.

“Sorry for startling you…I…” The embarrassment starting to set in now you’ve absorbed the situation.

“The Child woke in tears too, and then I heard you screaming. Cara’s looking after him now”.

You furrow your brows at the new information. The Child too? Was he connected to your dream somehow? Or did the feeling transfer… you wouldn’t know, just acknowledging the connection and leaving it at that.

“Yeah… I was confused too…” he’d noticed the coincidence too, “We’ve got a busy day ahead of us. You should start getting ready soon.”

All this information was starting to rack your brain, the sleepy haze in your mind making it difficult to focus. Then you remembered.

The last week had been a blur. You’d picked up some reinforcements for the mission. First, an ex-shock trooper who went by the name Cara, the tattoo was one of the first things you noticed. She wore it proudly. Cara seemed nice enough even though Mando had told her your backstory, she understood. Her eyes had seen the horror of manipulation too. She knew pain, death. You doubt she’d excuse what you did, but it seemed as though she’d done her fair share and maybe call it even. You’d made small conversation with her and it seemed that you could trust her, you hoped that she’d trust you too.

And then Kuill, now he was sweet. A kind, older Ugnuaght who had served the Empire. He’d done his time. Like you, he was forced to do something he didn’t want to do. The similarity between you two was silently acknowledged, he knew your pain, wanting to fight back but not being able to. He always spoke to you with soft words. You remember his admission with clarity. A day or so after picking him and his Bluurgs up, Mando and Cara were discussing the plan in the cockpit. You were sat in the corner of the hull, entertaining the Child, rolling the chrome ball back and forth along the floor. Kuill strolled up to you, holding your shoulder, bringing your attention from the Child to him.

“I too know the pain of Capitulation. I served my time, and now I work for no one. My soul is free. You are changed now, your punishment dealt. Make good of your life now it is yours. I have spoken.”

You didn’t know what to say but you knew that was exactly what you needed to hear. You’d never had kinder words spoken. It was bittersweet, but a lifeline nonetheless.

“I don’t know exactly how things will turn out so it’s probably best we prepare for anything” he admits, fear hidden in the admission somewhere. “I have asked Kuill to look after the Child along with IG. You’ll come with me and Cara to sort the problem. To finish this.”

Your head turns to the small Ugnaught now standing in the doorway, Cara to his side holding the Child. You nod politely to them, slightly embarrassed at how they were seeing you. The Child coos, his arms outstretched to his Dad. Cara walks into your room to give Mando the child, he coos again, this time more assertive. Cara tries to hand him over to Mando but he’s blubbering louder now, his arms are now outstretched to you. You sit up properly at the realisation. Mando nods to Cara, giving her silent permission to hand the Child to you. They both watch as you and the Child babble, his hand grabbing around your finger.

The connection warms you. He’s telling you through the only way he knows how that he’s ok, and that you should be too. He exudes calmness, soothing your mind to level with his. You smile at him, silently thanking him for his unique comfort. He nods back with a coo, head-turning towards Mando. He looks back at you with a toothy grin, releasing your finger then making grabby gestures to Mando. You smile to yourself as you watch Mando pick up the Child and leave, resting him in his right arm. Mando’s head was tilted towards the Child as if to ask what all the fuss was about. Cara watches them leave then turns to you.

“Hey,” She says calmly, sitting to perch on the side of your bed.

“Hey, I'm sorry if I interrupted you, I didn’t mean to-” She cuts you off.

“Don't apologise, it’s ok, we all have bad dreams sometimes” She sports a small smile, letting you know she understands. You smile back. It’s nice to have another girl on the ship, you feel like you can open up to Cara a bit more than you can with Mando. You maintain the small smile, showing your sincerity. “The kid seems to really like you” She chuckles, showing a couple of teeth. She’s right, you both got along really well. You’d not known the Child for long but you were already smitten, the toothy grin got you every time.

“Thank you, Cara.” You don’t know what else to say. The simple reply is soft, thanking. You really did appreciate her care.

“Don’t thank me, you’re the one that can make that little womp-rat smile. I’ve tried and he just… anyway. We’re not far out now. You should get ready”

You both exchange a small smile, it's sweet. You know you can trust Cara now.

___

The doors to the weapons locker opened and you couldn’t stop your jaw from dropping in awe. There was enough to form a small army! Does this guy have a thing for weapons or what? He reaches out and grabs a blaster. It’s exquisitely crafted, the mahogany wood polished to within an inch of its life. Once securing it in his belt, he reaches out again, grabbing two leather sheaths. Turning, he hands them to you. You put them on, one of them sits on your right thigh, the other sits just under your binder and rests under your shirt. You look up at him, his visor pinning you in place.

“I took you as a knives person” He deadpans, handing you two combat knives. Yeah, true, he’d read you like a book. You loved close combat, the thrill of it was always your favourite. You hated your past but you did have to admit, you enjoyed the hunt, it felt like fighting was what you were made to do. You drop your gaze to the knives. They’re pleasing to the eye. You’d not seen anything like it, the metal had waves to it, like an ocean. You traced a finger up one end of the blade, the sharpness of them tantalising, “Beskar” he chimes. Goosebumps riddled you like a rash, you couldn’t hide the grin that found your face. You’d not had a nice pair of knives since you were taken, hostage. Looking back up to him you thank him, placing one in the thigh holster and the other in the holster on your chest. You felt more confident now, adrenaline starting to prickle your senses; your body was starting to prepare itself for what was to come.

He reaches in again, grabbing a small belt. It was rough and tatty, this must be an older belt he’d once used, the one he wore now was a lot sturdier and more practical. Turning back to you he hands it over. You hear a slight scraping sound, like metal on metal. Inspecting one of the two pouches attached to it you found it was full of little throwing knives. They weren’t the same material as the daggers he’d just given you, but still sharp nonetheless. The grin feverish once you’d placed the belt around your waist, it hung lower than you’d like but it was still practical. You tested the buckle to see if it’d release quickly, and to your amusement, it did. You look back up at Mando, grin now toothy like the kids. “Thanks, hopefully, I won’t have to use them”

“Don’t lie, we all know you want to,” he said jokingly. So he finds it funny now? His comment makes you glance down. He was right, you were looking forward to it. Guilt floods your cheeks and you blush, now coming to terms with how you’d been acting. You didn’t want them to think you wanted to fight. This mission needed to go as smoothly as possible, for the Kids sake. Now they just think you’re in it for the blood, great.

“I didn’t mean it like that…I…” He stutters on his words, now realising the meaning behind what he said.

“It’s ok, I get it” you mumble back, turning away to get your boots from your room. You don’t notice him turning his head back around, watching as you walk back into your cabin.

___

Trust Cara to be carrying the biggest blaster from the locker. She’s all muscle that girl, and she knew it too. A blaster that size would look stupid if you tried to use it, you’re not even sure you could even lift it. Cara made it look like it was second nature, each to their own.

“Let me do the talking,” says Mando. Him? Do the talking? Is he having a laugh? The guy can barely hold a conversation, and now he thinks he’s some negotiating mastermind. You let it slide though, he is a Mandalorian at the end of the day, the armour does most of the talking for him. “Kuill, are the Bluurgs ready?”

“Yes. Someone will have to walk, I only have three” he says back to Mando, back turned as he’s fixing the final bits of equipment to the Bluurgs.

“I’ll walk,” you say, you’re the odd one out at the end of the day. You want to make a good impression, and you thought that a decent walk wouldn’t do you harm. You’ve not had a chance to properly stretch your legs in too long.

“You sure? It’s a fair way?” Cara asks back, she’s genuine.

“Yeah, I need to stretch my legs, let me lend a favour” you smile back. You really did want them to trust you, and you thought this is the least you can do to show your appreciation for their kindness over the last few days.

“If you get tired then you tell me,” Mando commands. There's no room for if’s or but’s, he means it.

You pull a sneaky grin, the temptation to say it was just too much, you can give in this once, right? You pick your next words very carefully but use the most seductive tone you could. It's just a bit of fun…

“Yes, Sir”

Cara chokes out a shocked laugh. You turn to her, she’s pulling her eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner. I'm glad that landed well… You laugh back as you both follow Kuill out of the ship to the Bluurgs, her elbow nudging your arm in a jokey way. You both continue giggling, not noticing the now slightly flustered Mandalorian.

Notes:

Hope u guys enjoy this chapter! the next couple chapters are quite action-driven as they follow the original arc, but I'm a few chapters ahead and let me tell you... is it getting hot in here?;)

[extraordinarilyextreme]

but imagine if MoDaoZuShi/The Untamed literally follows how the story is told:

when weiying dies, he literally wakes up 16 (or 13) years earlier. he has all the knowledge of the older him, but everything is yet to come.

he keeps trying to fix things. but history keeps course-correcting. he meets lanzhan, they find the yin iron, the find the sword in xuanwu, he gives his core to his brother, he’s forced down a different cultivation path.

he dies as the hated yiling patriarch.

but he keeps going back in time. chance, after chance, after chance, and he doesn’t understand why the universe keeps favoring him.

(and throughout all of this, lanzhan is the only one who believes him.

i die, weiying tells him, and lanzhan listens.

weiying can’t make sense of that. it’s as if lanzhan remembers too and has vowed to never again choose any side other than beside weiying.)

weiying doesn’t know what to do until he thinks: if lanzhan really is my soulmate, then maybe meeting him is the catalyst to their destined fates.

so he tries this route:

he doesn’t mess around when the jiang sect is invited to gusulan for lectures. he never bonds with lanzhan, even though it destroys him that the other boy never even looks his way. weiying distances himself from the very beginning; he never lets them see the damage.

(maybe now he won’t hurt anyone.)

but down this path, lanzhan discovers the stygian iron on his own. he’s targeted by the wen sect by himself. he's cast into the burial mounds.

weiying immediately goes after him because of all things, he never intended for this to happen.

(i keep dreaming about you, lanzhan admits, though it’s hard to hear over the screaming resentful spirits. he pauses, trying to catch his breath. i remember you.

and now weiying really doesn’t understand. if you know what happens, why did you interfere? why would take my place?

lanzhan just looks at him, at this stupid idiot he’s still in love with time after time after time, unwaveringly. he doesn’t mention crossing the single-log bridge alone in the dark. he doesn’t mention pointing his sword at the yiling patriarch’s throat. he doesn’t mention a-yuan, doesn’t mention his headband, doesn’t mention the song he wrote for them. he doesn’t mention watching weiying fall.

instead, he remembers the image of weiying praying to the gods, paper lanterns burning up in the hazy sky like stars close enough to embrace. he remembers their promise. 

we wish we can always stand with justice and live with no regrets.

lanzhan’s mouth curls upward. what do you think? he inquires finally.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

weiying wakes up in lanzhan’s room. they are 16, 17, maybe barely 18. they are children, and weiying fell asleep copying all of gusulan’s rules.

he snaps to attention, catching lanzhan’s gaze. it’s still harsh, criticizing, but knowing. knowing. my soulmate in this life.

weiying understands.

(he does get lanzhan drunk again. and they both are punished for it again. but he doesn’t tease lanzhan this time, just tucks him into bed, hand soft against a familiar jawline. 

thank you, weiying whispers.)

when they fall into the cave, lanzhan still wraps his headband around their wrists. lanzhan also takes his hand. lanzhan chooses him.

this time, weiying trusts the people who love him. it doesn’t matter if wen ruohan finds out. weiying now has all four sects backing him.

wenchao doesn’t stand a chance against the twin jades of gusulan or the twin heroes of yunmengjiang. jiangyanli, wenqing, wenning are safe. the heavenly lady statue remains sealed away. the head disciples of all five sects save the yueyangchang sect.

you can change, weiying tells xueyang. the assassin almost laughs, his cheek bleeding, but there’s something dark and terrible in the other man’s eyes. the yiling patriarch speaks, live without regrets. live meaningfully.

xueyang quiets. he lets songlan and xiaoxingchen lead him away.

(there is no battle at the unclean realm. mengyao is stopped by niemingjue before he can murder the chief general. weiying, with all the blood of thousands of cultivators on his hands of a different timeline, stops the execution. 

mengyao is brought to gusulan, to be watched over by lanxichen.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the disciples make their way to nightless city. the wen siblings promise to stay safe as they plan to save as many of their sect as they can from the inevitable battle.

weiying leads the other four boys to muxi mountain. 

(but this is a fixed point.) 

in the end, weiying and lanzhan remain trapped by the xuanwu of slaughter. as the pair ready their weapons, weiying suddenly thinks of mianmian. he undoes his robes, much to lanzhan’s immediate panic, and finds that the scar is still branded on his chest, just over his heart.

but it never happened, he whispers, frowning, looking at lanzhan through the glowing flames of their camp.

lanzhan stares steadily back at him, a hand coming up to his own chest. it does not matter. his matching mark is there too, even though such events have yet to transpire.

when they are ready, lanzhan takes weiying’s hand again. you must be safe.

weiying smiles.

(when he finds the sword, the resentful energy nearly overwhelms him again. he lets it, just for a few minutes, just so they can kill the wretched beast. he remembers lanzhan’s bleeding hands from the strings. please, don’t let him come to harm.

lanzhan saves him, brings him back to their fire, and heals him with his spiritual energy. 

is this a dream?

no.

weiying laughs weakly again.

i never thought in my lifetime that i would see lan’er gongzi act so concerned. it’s cruel of him to say, after everything they know might happen—has happened, has never happened. lanzhan. just now, i thought i wouldn’t survive.

lanzhan presses the back of his palm to weiying’s forehead. weiying, he whispers, as if the man before him is the most precious creature across universes.

lanzhan hums. once again, weiying never stays awake long enough to hear the name of their song.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the other three disciples save them. as jiangcheng and niehuaisang fret over weiying, the latter storms up to jinzixuan.

just tell her, you stupid peacock!

jinzixuan bows his head, ears very red, and jiangcheng decides it’s high time he brought his older brother back home. 

(where’s lanzhan?

he left, jiangcheng retorts, frustrated but all-too-aware. he will be fine.)

jiangyanli welcomes her brothers home, close to tears, and weiying secretly wonders if he will ever life a life in which he doesn’t cause his sister grief.

when yuziyuan lashes out at him, weiying smiles through the beating. i am sorry, he manages, though his back is bleeding from the zidian. this proud woman, this terrified mother, this loving wife glares down at the child her husband adopted. 

(the important part is when the wen sect still comes for his family. the important part is that they are ready this time. the important part is that they fight on the same side.)

wenzhuliu recognizes something as he stands opposed to weiying. he does not touch the boy. jiangcheng never loses his golden core. the wen sect retreats.

the important part is that they all live. jiangyanli tends to his wounds, and weiying knows the medicine came from her mother.

the wen siblings arrive soon after, and wenqing’s healing prowess works its wonders. 

(jiangcheng works up the courage to give wenqing the comb he bought. weiying laughs when wenning dutifully reports back to him, laughs and laughs until his aching body aches no more.

deep down, he thinks of lanzhan and fixed points in time.)

jinzixuan shows up to help yunmengjiang recover. emboldened by weiying’s jab, he does in fact properly court jiangyanli.

(weiying borrows a messenger butterfly from him.

lanzhan, lan’er gongzi, lan’er gege. the burial mounds.

he pauses, thinking carefully.

oh, light-bearing lord. i’m sorry. thank you.)

when he arrives at the Burial Mounds, lanzhan is already there amidst the skeletal forest, blue robes so light that they’re almost white. dressed for a funeral.

weiying.

don’t ask me to go back with you. you don’t have to follow.

lanzhan looks pained. once, he begged weiying not to go. once, he wanted to hide weiying away, safe from the world, imprisoned at his side. he doesn’t say don’t go where i can’t follow. he means, i will follow you to the ends of the earth without regrets.

a-xian, lanzhan murmurs, and weiying’s heart almost gives out right there and then. be safe. for the time that never came where he did not stand by weiwuxian, lanwangji apologizes. i’m sorry. thank you.

make sure we are ready when i return. protect shi’jie, jiangcheng. make sure wenning and wenqing are safe.

lanzhan smiles, a small thing, a rare thing, but always and only for weiying. you can trust me. i will wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(two months. three months. the yiling patriarch emerges, chenqing glistening from where it’s strapped strapped to his belt.)

the sects celebrate his return at the unclean realm. his siblings move to embrace him, but weiying holds up a hand, his eyes red. he’s trembling.

not yet. where is lanzhan?

(lanzhan finds him helpless in his room, dark smoke curling off his body. you promised you would be safe. his guqin materializes as he settles to play, fingers precise over familiar strings. focus. weiying, focus!

he plays ‘cleansing’. 

when the resentful energy calms, lanzhan plays their piece.

weiying sighs, his breaths calming. tell me. what’s the name of that song?

the guqin disappears with a swipe of lanzhan’s white robes. he crosses over to where weiying is sitting on the bed.

lanzhan. weiying pouts.

subian appears in lanzhan’s hands. weiying pulls his old sword into his lap, clutching it tightly. 

thank you.

when he sees that lanzhan won’t answer his question, weiying explains the new kind of cultivation he experimented with in the burial mounds. 

let me help you, lanzhan interrupts.

weiying tilts his head, smiling. of course. i need the light-bearing lord to protect me.)

under wenqing’s care, it is but a few days before weiwuxian of the yunmengjiang sect stands before the assembled sects and explains. he tells them of the stygian iron seal he is trying to develop. he swears he will destroy it when wenruohan is stopped, three fingers raised to his head.

you all as my witness. no one should bear this kind of burden alone.

lanxichen negotiates their final battle formation, smiling knowingly when he sees weiying and his little brother standing side-by-side.

(later that night, the yunmeng siblings huddle together.

the three of us must never be separated, jiangyanli tells them, kissing the foreheads of her little brothers. 

you’re getting married, jiangcheng points out, crossing his arms. aren’t you the one leaving us?

yanli laughs, as delicate as the droplets on the lotuses back home. never. we are family. we will always stand by each other. xianxian, do you understand?

weiying nods, his throat tight, before burying his face into his sister’s shoulder.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the united sects invade the nightless city. the puppets grow stronger; fallen cultivators all succumb to the stygian iron under wenruohan’s hand.

the yiling patriarch catches the light-bearing lord’s eyes from across the battlefield. he raises chenqing to lips and plays, haunting, discordant, tragic. his stygian iron seal overpowers the puppets.

once again, he’s pulled to wenruohan, suspended from the top of the cliff as he’s choked.

weiying! he hears lanzhan scream, flying up to him.

the wen leader stumbles. the grip on weiying’s throat relaxes and he falls into lanzhan’s steady grip. wenruohan looks down, disbelievingly, at the sword through his chest.

wenqing pulls her blade back, her eyes swirling with unbridled fury. how dare you threaten my brother. how dare you call yourself a wen? go to hell.

wenruohan dies. the sun in this dark era finally sets.

as weiying’s vision goes blurry, he sees lanzhan saying something. he thinks the other man may be crying. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

when weiwuxian finally wakes up, he is in gusulan. he is wearing the white undergarments of their sect. when he wakes, it is to the sound of guqin. when he looks over, lanzhan is playing their piece.

he’s beautiful, weiying thinks, knowing his eyes are brimming with tears. no guan in the other man’s hair, no heavy crown to wear. this is lanzhan, young, soft, intimate.

it feels like a dream.

lanzhan’s fingers still over the strings. you’re awake. there’s a warm smile in the realization.

he goes to sit at weiying’s side. he lets weiying take his hand.

thank you, though what weiying really means is, of course i love you too, thank you for loving me, after all this time, thank you for taking care of me.

lanzhan inhales sharply. he has never been a man of many words, but the light-bearing lord is renowned for his honesty for a reason. this is nothing to thank me for. this does not warrant your thanks when i do this without effort. thank you for letting me stand by you.

thank you for being my anchor, weiying continues, for letting me return to you. let me take care of you now. thank you.

lanzhan’s mouth twitches upward, amused but with a muted kind of sorrow. let me take care of you too. you have always put others before yourself. you are allowed to rest. i will always catch you.

lanzhan—

the other man squeezes weiying’s hand. weiwuxian of the yunmengjian sect, son of cangsesanren and weichangze, brother to jiangyanli and jiangwanyin, the yiling patriarch, my soulmate of this life, weiying—

lanwangji, what are you—

—may i court you properly?

weiying’s eyes widen. his mouth probably drops open in no flattering matter. his mind is going a million, billion thoughts a moment, and he thinks belatedly his heartbeat is probably doing the same. again, not healthy.

why is lanzhan looking at him like that? as if— as if—

i thought you were going to propose to me.

lanzhan promptly blushes.

weiying laughs, surging upward to hug the other man. i accept, if you’ll propose too. the disciplined model cultivator, lanwangji, one of the twin jades of gusulan—surely you must know your own sect’s rules. you’ve let me touch your headband.

yes. he hugs weiying back.

how fortunate i am! cultivation partners with the light-bearing lord, the to-be chief cultivator himself.

how fortunate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

weiying earns his sister’s approval to choose the courtesy name for her son. he and jiangcheng plan the most splendid of weddings for red, crimson red and gold and prosperous. indeed, a wedding to be envied and talked about for centuries to come.

he becomes sworn brothers with niehuaisang and wenning.

the wen sect rebuilds itself with support from the yunmengjiang and gusulan sects. wenqing assumes the role of the leader of the clan with hopes of bringing pride to the wen name.

(weiying and lanzhan help out the most. they meet the wen siblings’ nephew, a-yuan, who latches onto lanzhan’s leg and refuses to let go.

it’s weiying who coaxes the little boy into his arms, scooping him up as a-yuan squeals delightedly.

lanzhan, weiying says, pressing a little closer to him. now we have a child.

lanzhan smiles. yes. a family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

they say the newest chief cultivator is never far from chaos.

(where weiying goes, his husband follows.)

but for now, there are lotuses blooming in the gusulan sect where the loving duet between a flute and a guqin can always be heard.

[kurtty-drabbles]

1. “You scared I am going to out finesse you?” (Lovecraft AU)

@djinmer4  @dannybagpipesarecallingN/A: Not sure if this has to do with the ask, either way, I saw a bunch of horror stories on youtube and it leads to this idea, I love to make Lovecraft Kitty, but…what if Kitty is just a regular human for once?

Meggan takes Kitty to have her future reading by a famous seer, a Canadian woman named only Boa, who has a reputation to always be right. Kitty is sceptical but decides to go anyway, it will be a fun way to pass time. Many things were said about Boa, thanks to the internet, many say she is the scariest person you’ll ever meet as her predictions are always true.

Boa, in person, is nothing more than a gentle old lady, making Kitty remembering her own grandmother, none of them is scary at any level. Boa takes Meggan´s hand and reads her future.

“You will be married to a man you love deeply, it will be a good a good live, two kids, a nice house, the man will be sick in a few years and things will get tougher but you´ll found a way to care for them. Your love will change the lives of many people” Boa explained and when Meggan asked who the man´s name is the old lady smiles “Brian Braddock, congratulations, Gloriana. Your future will be lovely”

Meggan is overjoyed. In fact, it prompts Kitty to ask to have her own future reading, when Boa takes her hand the woman immediately takes out as it scorched the woman´s skin. That wasn´t expected.

“You…you will have his eyes, all of his eyes are under you, he knows, he always knows,  chaos and darkness will follow you as not even death dares to take you, he sees, he knows and you can´t escape him” the woman speaks in a frightened tone.

Kitty and Meggan leave with a bitter taste in their mouth. Meggan´s future is wonderful, yet, Kitty´s future is …cryptal to say the least.

“Oh, nevermind, she was just trying to scare us,” Kitty said. Meggan nods trying to agree with her thinking but Boa was never wrong before._________________________________________

Kitty is an X-men, so, of course, the woman is used to her own share of bizarre events, yet, Kitty has to admit, lately everything is way off than usual. Jubilee becomes a vampire thanks to kitty´s blood(it was black for a moment and then is normal), Beast becomes crazy over spirals almost going too far in this obsession (Kitty doubts any student will feel safer with Hank again), Wolverine becomes a literal animal…that is always looking at the shadows in fear and Jean…Kitty prefers to not think about the horrid woman, maybe it was karma finally giving the woman a payback.

Thinking about Karma, Kitty takes her cell phone and text Karma, Xian and the other New Mutants have a sort of book club where they relax and make fun of the most atrocious books ever.

The world won´t be perfect, that´s a given, prejudice lurks around in several forms, but, mutants are allowed in many places and Kitty is in a coffee shop where the staff is made by mutants(she asked them if they are being treated alright and they confirm that) and no one has any objection to the mutants working.

Kitty text Xian.

“Hey, the book club is still up? Kitty asked

"Sure, by the way, the new book we will talk is a bit different from our usual session” Xian replied with a few emojis.

“Oh, is erotic?”

“No” Xian replied and send a picture of the book provokes to Kitty jump of her chair, no one seems to care, this coffee shop has few clients today.

“Xian, why this book?” Kitty asked.

“I saw and…thought in to give to you, ” Kitty ponders in to tell the rumours of the book, yet, Xian continues “it was a gift to you”

“Thank you, Xian, but this book has  bad fame, where did you get it?”

“I don´t know, I was walking with my brother and when I realize the book was already in my plastic bag wrapped nicely to you”

One of the mutants, a green man, is pouring more coffee for a man wearing a suit that is reading the newspaper, no one is looking at Kitty….the woman can feel eyes on her.

The woman leaves the coffee shop._____________________________Yana arrives in the New Mutant´s headquarters and looks at the book, Kitty is holding the book for her own life. Karma explained once again how she got the book, it was easy to deduce that the woman was not possessed, but, persuade in a way that no one saw this before.

It was sort like Killgrave, but, it was so natural…it scares Xian as her twin brother, Tran, made a scan on her to see if she is being controlled. No, she is free. There´s no trace of manipulation left(unlike Killgrave)

“And the book?” Kitty still holding the book dearly contrasting her horror expression.

Magik look at the book and immediately avert her eyes.

“The legends don´t come close to the truth, Katya, this is not a normal book, nor a mere evil book….is much more” Magik then use a spell to violently yank the book out Kitty´s hand(it bruises her hand a little but Kitty is not caring) and put the book in a bubble as slowly darkness surround the space of that bubble.

“Katya….the book…it has eyes on you,” Magik said and Kitty remembers Boa´s words but shakes her head at this, no, Boa is just an eccentric old lady, right?

“What we do?”

“Nothing, for the love of God, no one enters in this room, nor even look at this book, I think I know what this is …but I hope I´m wrong,” Magik said and leaves the New Mutants plus Kitty with more questions.

It has eyes on you.________________________________Kitty´s dream are often too lucid, sometimes making the dreams being amusing, other times, make the dream being anything but pleasant. Tonight, the dream is odd and very lucid.

A man in a white suit is in the centre of the large table, the said table has a perfect set tea party that any little girl would love. Kitty looks at the man and somehow she feels compelled to run…but nothing happens.

“Is you, isn´t it?” Kitty asked.

The creature only smiles with sharp teeth.

“Is you?” Kitty asked again.

“Eat something, then we talk,” the creature said amusingly.

Kitty is about to refuse when she, without realizing, already give a big bite on a red apple. The woman wakes up confused and scared.____________________________________Kitty is hardly someone that likes to jog, but, after the last dream, the woman can´t stay in bed. The park is empty, actually, since when this little park was so big and dark? Is her mind playing tricks on her, she was sure the park was smaller.

Bumping in a man is never a good signal for Kitty as she was expecting the man to be furious, instead, the man with dark hair and white streaks seems to not mind.

“Is a bit too earlier to jog or maybe I´m mistaken” the man gives his name and Kitty realizes how is good to talk with someone in this big(?) park.

“I like to run” Kitty jokes as they talk idly. The man likes to feed the birds and Kitty only nods, nothing unusual for this park.

“Bad dreams?” the man asked politely.

“Odd dreams, what eat an apple could mean?”

“Acceptance, at least, that was I have been told, I could be mistaken” the man replied and Kitty nods politely, she then is about to leave when the man gives another advice “don´t stop thinking about it, if you want to know about this dream…then keep thinking about and eventually you will know” the man said pleasant and Kitty only nods politely.

When she starts jogging again, she notices something, the man said he wanted to feed the birds…but Kitty saw no bird food with him, and as she looks around the park looks bigger and different by each minute.

“Maybe I´m in the wrong park”______________________________“I know it´s you” Kitty points at the blue fuzzy man wearing a white suit, another lucid dream “Stop, why are you doing this?”

“Because I got my eyes on you, Katzchen, and you are worthy” the creature speaks happily.

“Of what?”

“Of getting your deepest wish, I´ll grant it”

Kitty wakes up sweating again. She mutters that is only a dream, but, when a student complains of getting bruises in his back prompts Kitty to take care of…she takes a huge shock.

Is not a dream anymore. Is written in the Student´s flesh.____________________________________________Magik is back with bad news, well, the woman didn´t need to try to hide as the X-men are mutating into something that sure is not part of the grand speech Magneto is always giving.

Scott and Rogue are intact by sheer luck. Ororo did leave the X-men(it was a suggestion made by Kitty, something is wrong here and if Ororo has the chance to leave, she should go…Ororo invite Kitty to go with her, but…Kitty declines as IT HAS EYES ON HER)

“Katya” Magik speaks looking at the sky, there´s a moon now, but…is still day, Magik is pale now. “I know what is causing this…but I don´t think we can defeat him, the best case scenario is put wards and hope for him to get bored”

Magik offer no other explanation as she created wards blocking the moon, which is now red, as the wards are ready the place turns into a hellish dimension. If even Illyana is scared, then, the situation is bad.

“Belasco talks about him” Yana speaks"he has many names but we never dare to say the name so freely"

“I know…I know it´s him” Kitty revealed as the book is back with Kitty “and I know what he wants” she hugs Yana as another golden moon shows up.“Sorry”

She said running away from the wards.

“I´m here, you won, just please, leave them alone, is me you want, right?” Kitty shouts to the moons, yet, something lightly touches her shoulder.

“Of course, I want you, but I admit, it was a fun mess with you X-men” the creature speaks and seems pleased that Kitty is with the book “Good, you take it back, it was really rude not to use my gift, but, I forgive you, no one ever gives you such gift”

“Gift?” Kitty´ll hardly think this book as a gift but better not anger the monster “Are you going to eat me here now or later?”

“Is that a sexual innuendo? Well, I´m a bit shy to do this in front of an audience but if you prefer”

“Stop joking, just ends this already”

“I want you! only that” a tentacle wrapped around her waist gentle “and I think you humans prefer a more direct approach, here I´m, now Katzchen, I said I´ll make your dream come true, you want to see more of life, I can show you.”

“All I have to do is saying your name?”

“Yes”

Kitty now looks at the X-men then to the entity in front of her.

“Nyarlathotep” the name wasn’t spoken as the entity was hoping, either way, her mind and feelings are focused on him…that´s more than enough.