#or whenever the fuck zabuza and haku are there and not dead yet

[starculler]

have i ever read naruto?

no

am i reading fanfic of it anyway?

absolutely

[copycaat]

[ sacrifice ] for your muse to get hurt protecting mine 

     He comes back to himself choking on the blood and the stagnant water that soak into his mask. There’s a weight pressing down on him and he thrashes under it, his entire right side rigid with the aftershocks of a lightning technique gone wrong and he can’t breathe he can’t breathe he can’t breathe-- 

     Kakashi’s left hand finally finds grip on the uniform of the body-- and that’s a body on top of him-- and he yanks at it weakly until it slides off of him and he chokes on the rush of airbloodwater in his throat and his lungs even as he casts his gaze around the battlefield for other signs of life. There are none to be found, just a thick layer of slick mud and a few smoldering bodies in the treeline. Everything is soaked, including him, including--

          Zabuza. 

     It comes crashing back to him in a millisecond along with a wave of pain radiating up his arm that makes him gasp and twitch uselessly, falling back onto his side and curling around it for a moment. The kunai that came for his face when he was on the tail end of a series of hand signs, Zabuza coming out of nowhere behind him and jumping into the fight to block it even as lightning ripped out of his palm and into the water they’d been standing on, shocking everyone. Including him, including Zabuza. His own heart beats unsteadily in his chest and he chokes on it, finally able to reach up with his left hand and drag the sticky mask from his face, gasping on the gulps of fresh air even as he struggles to his knees and drags Zabuza onto his back and fumbles to feel for a pulse with fingers that are just a little too numb. 

     He can’t feel anything, not even whether Zabuza’s skin is hot or cool to the touch because his nerves are on fire. A desperate curse falls out of his mouth like blood, and it drips from his ears and his nose as he grits his teeth and leans down to listen-- for a heartbeat, for a breath. He has to hold his own, but there’s nothing, nothing, and he just. 

     “You asshole,” he curses again, trying to ignore it comes out of him like a plea. “You fucking-- dumb-- asshole--” each word is punctuated by a weak shove at his unmoving chest, and it leaves him gasping and reeling uselessly for a few more seconds. 

     Zabuza has added himself to the long list of people that have given their lives for him to carry on, and for a moment he’s so angry he can’t think, for a moment he hates him just a little bit. He leans over him and touches his right hand to the man’s jaw and stares into sightless eyes that haven’t even clouded in death yet and he just. Sits still for a moment, looking desperately at his slack jaw and the sharp teeth. 

     He thinks about watching Zabuza lean over the railing on the bridge to peer at the lazily circling koi last week. There’d been a furrow between his brows but the expression had still been peaceful and the sunlight had dappled across his shoulders and when he’d spotted Kakashi he’d gotten that stupid little half-smirk on his face and-- Kakashi strikes him in the chest weakly with his fist. 

     He thinks about Zabuza’s hand pressed over his mouth and pinning his head to the wall, how hot his palm had been when he explored, and the exasperated look he’d given Kakashi when he’d licked his hand. The way his eyes darkened when he bit him-- Kakashi strikes him again, four knuckles flat to his ribcage, and this time it’s a little stronger. 

     He thinks about Zabuza slipping lukewarm coffee to him in the mornings, the puzzled expression that used to slip across his face whenever Kakashi had sought him out that turned into annoyance and then acceptance and then something warm and deep and possessive, and he thinks about Zabuza’s hand, careful on the nape of his neck and how the weight of it only ever felt comforting-- he hits him again, gasping out at the jolt of agony it sends up his striking hand. 

     And he thinks about Zabuza with his hand so gently settled on top of Haku’s head, the smile that grew on his face and the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and between his brows and his too-big heart, the secretive eye rolls and the not-so-secretive eyerolls, the kata he’d shown to Tenzo and the endless patience he had for all of Kakashi’s bullshit. He thinks about how much he wants to kiss him and curse at him and tell him he loves him and he brings his fist down once more and the lightning that crackles out of him almost makes him shriek. 

     Zabuza comes to with a violent jerk and a shuddering gasp, his fist coming up and clocking a dazed Kakashi in the face instinctively. It knocks him back and he lays there staring at the sky for a moment and listening to Zabuza’s shuddering breaths and thrashing in absolute disbelief while he tries to get his numb limbs to obey him again. Zabuza is alive. He’s alive. He’s not dead, he’s laying two feet away and cursing incoherently and groaning, and Kakashi--

     He rolls and lunges back over there, swatting Zabuza’s swinging fists away and clutching at his shoulders and shaking him. “I am going to kill you--” he says, voice thick with blood and tears he’s never been able to shed, not even now. “I am going to fucking kill you, don’t ever do that again.” The whole time he shakes him, Kakashi’s arms don’t stop trembling like leaves in the breeze, and Zabuza just gives him a vaguely dazed look as he, presumably, tries to remember how to speak. 

     “You--” he begins weakly, still trying to catch his breath and reeling like he’s not sure if Kakashi is actually going to kill him for dying or almost dying or not, “you left your right side open.” 

     Kakashi settles his hands on Zabuza’s jaw and leans (falls) down until their foreheads are pressed together, and he’s pretty sure he’s bleeding all over Zabuza’s face but he can’t tear his eyes away from the sluggishly dilating pupils and the dazed blinking. “Shut up, just--” He pauses, and drags himself away again and settles his ear against Zabuza’s chest again. It rises shakily, and he can hear two uneven heartbeats. “Shut up for a second,” he finish weakly. 

         “Nice,” Zabuza comments sarcastically, even as out of breath as he is. 

@godmist   ///   I tried to stop the thing metastasizing in us But in the warm, slow evening I could feel it rising in us Ah, and you made me drink poison