#or wants me to start some of htem back up

[wiretism]

"do NOT ask me about ggy or patient 46 because i WILL begin ranting"

You see, I am incapable of ever listening to anyone, ever, so I must ask about GGY and patient 46

I have absolutely no knowledge of modern FNaF lore; I have not read any of the books (something I plan to fix whenever my bank account stops bleeding) so you're gonna have to do some heavy lifting here and tell me all about it

Ooh boy rubs my hands together

okay so im gonna start with ggy because i love Tony and Ellis. (i dont have the book in front of me tho so this isnt gonna be 100% every detail)

GGY is about a kid named Tony Becker who has an assignment in his 6th grade english class. He has to write a fictional mystery with side plots that tie into the main plot. He chooses to do this with his two friends. They use pen names whenever they do their english projects together (sobs and wails and cries into my hands) and Tony picked Tarbell, and his friends were Boots and Dr. Rabbit (or Rab for short).

Tony wants to start working on their project, but Boots and Rab want to go to the fazcade. Tony gives in when rab backs up boots (tony sees boots as immature and worries about outgrowing him and hanging out more with rab) tony wanders around the fazcade trying to find inspo, and then notices someone named GGY with top scores on some of the games. when he asks other people about it, they tell him the scores are seemingly impossible, but when he asks a staff member, he's told they haven't been hacked.

At some point he makes an online blog to ask about it and a girl he'd talked to in the fazcade asks him to meet her. she tells him that she thinks this is more than just high scores, and that he should stay out of it.

Oh also freddy keeps watching tony and at some point begins following him.

Tony finds out that GGY has a hacked party pass (or it was like a fun pass or smth) that gives them access to much more than it should, working almost like a security card.

Tony then finds out one of the school counselors has gone missing, and he sneaks into the librarian's office to learn more about it. he finds out two other counselors have also gone missing, all of them having gone to the pizzaplex before disappearing.

tony writes his paper and gives it to Rab and Boots to look over, and when they come back the next day, they've changed it into a fantasy story. And GGY is labled as the wizard's favorite apprentice, rather than someone getting high scores on arcade games.

tony is upset with rab and boots and begins calling htem by their actual names.

Rab is Greg, Boots is Ellis.

tony is also in trouble for sneaking into the librarian's office and using her laptop, so he has detention shelving books.

Greg come and offers to take him to the pizzaplex when he's done, and it's kind of implied he killed him there.

again i have bad memory and i dont have the book in front of my so anyone can feel free to correct anythign i got wrong or missed

now onto patient 46 who's from the therapy tapes in sb.

this'll be undeniably easier because i can just listen to the tapes. patient 46 is also not confirmed to be gregory, its just a theory, so im just gonna call them 46.

its important to note that 46 does not speak.

everything here is things implied to have been nonverbally communicated to the therapist.

Tape 2:

It starts with the therapist talking about how the day is nice, but 46 doesnt like the light, so the therapist draws the blinds. she then comments on how 46 is not talking to her today, and says that she gets reviews from patients, and when 46 doesn't let her help them, she gets bad reviews. she tells 46 she could get in trouble and get put in timeout, which 46 finds funny.

Tape 4:

New therapist is here, she asks if 46 is going to talk to her, and they dont reply. she asks whats wrong, and they gesture to the flowers. the therapist comments on them being particularly fragrant and moves them. The therapist then comments on 46 staring at something, and says they're "amazingly alert." she says shed like to have 46 tell her about themself, but 46 does not. the therapist instead chooses to look through their notes. she also comments on the chair not fitting 46, but its not specified if its too big or too small. she then asks if 46 is bothered by a new therapist, but 46 doesnt seem surprised or confused at all. the therapist says shes surprised by whats in 46's notes. she says they have a "rebellious side" and a knack for computers, and explains the word phenom to them. the tape ends with her asking if 46 considers themself a hacker

tape 6:

new therapise again! she tells 46 shes already read their files and knows what theyve worked on. 46 asks for a candy, and she gives one to them, taking one for herself as well. she says she wants to start with 46's parents, and claims it was tragic but she doesnt think 46 has processed it emotionally. she says they wrote it like they had read it off of a book. (her exact words are they wrote an objective rather than a subjective narrative, but 46 didnt know what that meant.) she says 46 spends a lot of time alone and is good at self-dialogue, which she explains is "asking urself questions and getting answers" she tells them to try asking themself how they feel about what happened to them. she tells them to let themself be upset about it so they can let it go.

tape 8:

same therapist as 6! she asks 46 if theyve thought about what they talked about. 46 had told them their past had made them sad and scared. the therapist asks if they had written down exactly what made them feel that way. she then says she works with many people who respond to tragedy differently. she asks 46 if their fantasies would be different had this tragedy not happened to them.

Tape 13:

new therapist again! she says when shes getting to know a client, she likes to find out abt their hobbies. when she doesnt get a reply, she asks if they like sports. 46 tells her they like to watch sports, but not play them. and that they like to stay inside. the therapist then reluctantly tells 46 that their previous therapists have gone missing. except one who was found dead, and they said her body looked to be mangled by machinery. the therapist also comments that 46 doesn't look concerned about it. she jokes about watching her back, which 46 finds funny.

Tape 14:

same therapist as 13. she asks if 46 knows about the pizzaplex, and says the technicians who work there know them. theyve seen what they think is 46 on the security cameras. they say 46 was accused of hacking their systems. the therapist says that the hacks are causing tons of problems, but that there's no solid proof it was 46, and 46 finds it funny that the techs are having issues. she says she finds it weird that 46 would spend time in such a busy, crowded place despite their loner attitude. she asks if its the electronics that 46 likes. she also says theyve designed programs that talk to them and repeat phrases. she says it asks them questions and prompts for responses, like their own little therapist. she said at first she had thought they were talking to themself, but it seems more like they were talking to someone else. she asks who it was.

Tape 15:

same therapist as 13+14. she starts with asking if 46 wants to do an ink blot test. she shows them an image, and 46 asks to hold it. 46 says it reminds them of a mask. the therapist asks if 46 likes the idea of being disguised, and how they make you invisible. she says being invisible lets you get away with anything, and asks 46 if they like that idea. she then moves on to something else, telling 46 that it seems theyve been talking to someone else. she says the techs think that its someone trying to lure 46 away, or manipulate them. the therapist moves to where she can see 46's eyes, and says she got something different from the communications. she accuses 46 of manipulating someone, rather than being manipulated. she says they were recorded on the security cameras with someone else. she says that it looks like the person theyre with has rabbit ears, which 46 finds amusing.

Tape 16:

Same therapist as 13+14+15. she says shes gotten another message from the pizzaplex that says that theres a glitch in the system that makes the animatronics more eerie than entertaining. she says the glitch spread system-wide and infected all the machines. she also says it was traced back to 46. she says the glitch broadcasted a dangerous message. she also says that when the techs were trying to fix it, the source shifted. she says that the glitch changed from a glitch and became a set of sub-routines that were made to do exactly what the glitch was doing. (which basically means it stopped just being a glitch and became part of the system?? i think?? idk shit abt computers bruh) when 46 does not reply, she presses, saying she is on their side and wont tell anyone what is told to her during the session and that the techs have no proof it was 46, so theyre not in trouble. when 46 doesnt reply still, she brings up their past. 46 refuses to look at her, but she continues. she says it doesnt matter if they look at the floor, because nothing they told her about their parents was true. she says they had great parents, and a great childhood. she asks 46 why they lied, and tells them to look at her. she then says she understands why 46 would be upset about the confrontation, and says they can come back to this another day. the last line she says is "you're shaking your head like that's not going to happen."

UHM YEAH IM NORMAL ABOUT THEM LOL.

i have a lot of thoughts on both of these parts and i personally believe 46 is Gregory. but if i dumped all my thoughts we'd be here all day so have this long ass explanation instead

[hirokiyuu]

ok i did a huge ship meme for fun. if you read it u have to like this post. also i have more thoughts under the cut

some of these are copy pasted from twt so if u saw it there u can read them again i guess. theres some new ones also. perish by my hand

at a glance

yuujin calls leona "leona-san" until theyre both old n gray. they probably try "leona" a few times but it feels weird to them. leona's fine w/this

love languages are what they prefer to receive rather than what they naturally give wwww if it were that way around id switch it LOL. high natural compatability

"problematic a bit" in the sense of. well. if youve played twst. youve met leona. u see how he acts around mc at first. u kno.

dynamic stuff

i dont think leona would've had a Relationship relationship before. fwb? fucking around w/ppl? sure. but a Relationship? sounds like too much work

yuujin meanwhile had World's Shittiest Not Boyfriend before isekai'ing. mostly fwb but yuujin did have feelings and also he was the only person yuujin was ever like. emotionally close to beyond their sister. so

? on caretaker for leona bc its definitely not Traditional Caretaking but he does put in the work to help yuuin in ways they do really need. still.

? for yuujin mostly bc if they had to do more caretaking like they did for their sibs theyd die but also they do help leona how they cna. u kno how it is

re:attachment, theyre both independent but yuujin is more likely to pull Away if shit happens while leona is more likely to get territorial (lol) this is probably the only thing that ever causes any real fights

idk if i'd call it "wants to Corrupt yuujin" but leona definitely does sometimes wish they were less of a good person. not always. but sometimes.

nsfw stuff

being used is situational for yuujin bc when theyre into it theyre Really Into It but theres also a chance itll trigger them really badly. u kno how it is

my pillow princess leona agenda strikes again

i htink leona is in theory fairly ambivalent abt topping/bottoming but in practice if he tops he's expected to do more work. so.

theyre both shameless during sex but occasionally yuujin will remember they have Feelings for this guy and this guy has Feelings for them and they'll get flustered. they can nad will talk abt sticking their tongue up this man's ass w/o batting an eye but the moment anything abt Liking each other comes up? they get a little shy LMAO

the sex is pretty good for both of htem but again. leona is lazy. yuujin is hte one doing all the work.

particulars

re:things to change, if leona were a more classically Good Boyfriend (ie more demonstrative, trying harder, more obvious w/his feelings etc) yuujin would absolutely run. so. leona's personality is a good (?) thing

engagement

(looks at the checklist) (points at leona) Go King Give Us Nothing!

the one abt killing the other is v like. dependent on timeline i think. leona might be more willing at first but over time i dont think hed be able to.

yuujin is technically the pursuer in their rship at first but leona definitely catches the Big feelings before yuujin does. lmao. eat shit loser

tbh their communication style from the outside probably looks pretty callous. a lot of talking Around things and giving each other shit to hide the fact they both Hate talking straightforwardly in some respects. the kind of couple that never ever once say 'i love you' to the other even tho they're both aware they do (eventually)

they touch a lot, in terms of pda they're not obnoxious but usually leona will have a hand on yuujin's back or yuujin will be on his arm or w/e. leona generally initiates if theyre out in public but yuujin doesnt mind they just dont start it usually wwwwww

re:expectations, i actually dont think leona expects too much from Yuujin Specifically, just in general. but also. in some ways i dont think he believes he'll get it. if that makes sense

OK THAT WAS REALLY REALLY LONG if u read this whole thing thank u tell me if u like them. i am rotating them constantly

[skinnyravs]

Being mis-understood.

Do you ever get the feeling that people just Mis Understand you?

Like, you make a joke and they give you that vibe like: man you are an idiot. Or the times when you say something, and the reaction you get is someone if offended.

Well; I can tel you this happens to me. A lot. Why? I have no clue. I wonder if it has something to do with the different era I grew up in, or just the type of people i used to interact with that are either similar to me or different. But their different still made it easier to mingle.

I know, that I am not the most social person, ever. Like it is a struggle. I am just naturally very shy, very timied and very sometimes I guess you can cal it...off?

I have always seen myself as the silent, observant type that takes it all in and makes up her own mind. Yes sure I may judge but that's because I can only go off what I see. me and talking and being social is not a thing. So its quite a crappy thing that other poeple can do that easily and I'm stuck in the whole eh i dont wanna be social at all. Perhaps this is a bad thing but maybe it isn't.

Not everyone is going to be the social type. Some of us, like me just wanna do stuff and not talk to much and enjoy. Maybe that is why i seem like such a recluse or perhaps come off as being a little arrogant. Trust me, it is not on purpose. I reckon it is simply a personality trait.

Another thing I make very clear ot people is that, I am not going withstand bullshit. From anyone. There was a time, growing up I just ignored shit be it in school and even sometimes work. I would just be like eh whatever. But over the years I could see that a lot of people took advantage of that and I jsut had enough. Eventually, when you work in a medical feidl you come across some ass holes,a nd there are two things happen. - Either stand up for yourself or - let them continue to talk down to you.

Eventually i wasn't having that ad I started to bite back. Sometimes maybe more then I could chew, but I certainly think that was a big thing for me. I didn't want to take a back seat. Sometimes, I think I had always been wanting to just tell people where to go.

My family's history (and it is not a nice one by the way) is what also led me to just be a total bitch sometimes. And if you knew the whole story you might get an idea why sometimes I am.

It is fair to say I am a big believer in standing up and saying what I think. I can be wrong or right it doesn't matter if you are wrong. Sure, the flip side of it, is if you don't like something don't say it. I do also believe that too. But there will be certain situations where; you know what, say it don't hold back. LOL, funny how that is the title of the whole blog as a whole. DON't HOLD BACK. And I mean that.

Just because I ask someone not to do something should not be immediately taken as: Oh she is trying to control me.If I am telling you I do not like what you are doing its because I don't like it and think its inappropriate. How that can be seen as control .makes no sense. There is quite a big difference between: Please don't do this I don't appreciate it. isn't that being polite and not control?

I'm finding this hard to explain; but recent events came up and I have asked for stuff to be stopped. I jsut don't like it and yet it is still being down. For me it is like a total lack of respect for a request. Apparently Im not allowed to do that, because people are saying I'm being rude, controlling and giving htem order. haha...um...what?

If someone came up to me and said: Don't write this and post is. I will ask why amd if they gave me a good reason Id be like: ook i understand your view here but please understand that this needs to be said. And they can either go: oh all right that's ok you explained it that's if ein. Or they could be a total ass hole and say: your an idiot just shut up and move on.

I'm so tired, of everything I say, or do is always being taken the wrong way. Makes me sad that I can never truely be myself anymore and this it just leads to a lot of frustration, anger and disappointment. I, just wanna be able to be myself again. Like I used to be. I lost that along th way because nobody seems to try and understand my point of view anymore. Yet i seem to be the only one trying to work shit out.

It sucks.

[the-firebird69]

only lnatics think i woud work for free. ok. and these think i m not working yeah. and no they threatne for all they say. and it is a lot of them. saying no today. we say no to them pull thier cards take their money and yenk them out. of here this is sick shit and they are mean losers. we use it now. we hold them hostage take their stuff.

and tommy f too

they want inventinos and cannot get any. at all. ad tons say it did it at work and when ok. and or well. not in cali at all. was a mess there. tons say this too macs ahd it happen...

but we know it is not true and it is both now they say no. we h it htem all they are nuts. losrs.

some want to cant. it is a pandemic. tons say no are nuts. we use it. this is a shithole already. ok. we know why they say no the empire will get it no. are nuts. ok. we say this to them he is not desperate for you. doesnt care due to your act. most morlock suck so bad he wants to kill them himself. and dan and trump think the y can extot weapons out of him it is nonsense and we stop them now

we use this now. we see ok

the parks empty of their stuff fast. and teh tie was broken by bugs. they go to war and die fighting the traps they set. and are rude losers. 65% emptied. haulted. bugs hit kill most of turmps from the first round second round went in. they die. and now gloaballly the bugs flew to warn the others. and it is on they say you fumigate us we kill you. and they are at it broke through kill them. now.

and it is on the bugs say humanity will fall. and they say we are huge dont yuo see. and oh ships. ok. are up there where are you. and we see. and they say this the aholes here must die and they hate them and eat them all. and it is easy. they see why.

and it is on the blow through the morlock now. fast. tons of them dead. and are at it now. and the message out. humanity hates these idiots.

trump sent in the second wave. and it is beaten down and halved already. h e shrinks. the bugs are torrential and horror. ate up his men and women fast. all dead. it is around 1% of the general popoulace and near 20% of his. yes of island. but new zealand has tons there. are up shortly. will ruin htem devour them all. tonss say it we suck. need fre and such. move it out and use it now shortly. nuke em and try. soon. they will stop it can. use the etenae. shorlty too.

other bugs are alerted we are up. the water bugs are out shortly. tons too and at it. in ga and some iin fl most dead. and out and this month. tons will leaee to take ships all over eartha from here too. it is on. ok. trump will lose fast now. his are at it. others were hitting now bugs ruin him. his idea and plan tool. and he sinks back in his chair in court b lows into the mic and says i have had enough. enough. will leave shortly. but is required to answer all the prosecutors questions. fully too. or be held liable emaning a new investigation is lanched even answered it may happen. he smirks. and laughs. he idd it no i did. he hears our son the fag deserves it stares now at him. engeron says it out of my face and transformers and this is it your done he stares. and the judge orders him not to shortly......both are angry. and firey. and transformers at the parks ad cities yes. and uppermidwest. trump is disgusted. ad hits the table a bit. and then this. do notdo that in my courtroom..ok i wont. he says. and then this. dont do what. well no. ont yet. and they are mean ppl. say it. what the hell do you want paul a gift and they say it in hush tones. he then hits the gavel. out soon no. and he yells it no is sad then this. you fd me up garth i f you u p. and up he is no. sits starting. silent. waiting no. he is asked a question glares at teh attorney. fires off another and then says could you repeat that. a nd ok your dumb.....ne more time. and then this i dont know. and ok. fires off a few more. nope. they are red faced no. then he sees it....this is the question answers it then the next and more. and then ok what about this and more. tons of questionosc coming

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[writeblrfantasy]

lila's wip wrap up 2022!

i did this last year! it's wild to see for one what i thought i would be writing this year vs what i actually wrote, and i'm sure i'm going to say that next year too.

i don't usually like to talk about word count or the number of books i write because i don't want anyone to ever think that their own worth with writing is equal to how much they write and how much they finish

so if you read this, please just know that everyone writes at their own pace and there is no right or wrong way to write, and no way more worthy than another. i just happen to be a very fast writer with a fair bit of free time to write big amounts, who gets bored of wips quickly and is constantly moving on <3

projects i finished this year:

fate of smoldering ruin (50k)

the lover with five names (123k)

the red king's mystical suitors (73k)

as the sea horn blows (48k)

empire of gilded sand (60k)

my mr. adlay (21k)

other things i wrote this year:

she who killed the elf queen (50k)

order of the os (32k)

jack of fools trilogy (all incomplete, 24k in total)

goldbloods (23k)

the lover's spell (42k, to be edited)

the water mage & the sun soldier (40k, ongoing!)

a variety of other novellas/short story collections that add up to about 60k

some fanfic which added up to about 11k (you can read it on ao3 if you're a fan of mash and supernatural! my username is taliamytalia)

projects planned for next year:

the artist & the warden, sequel to the water mage & the sun soldier

editing the lover's spell

editing she who killed the elf queen

a certain all queer woman wip

whatever else i feel like writing! i have been reading again recently and getting some mad ideas, as well as begging by my irl bestie for a wlw main wip

of all the things i wrote this year, the lover with five names and as the sea horn blows were my favorites. i've been trying to finish sea horn since last christmas, and to get it done this june was an incredible accomplishment that i'm very proud of<3 the lover with five names was just a huge project on another level.

once again, i would like to thank my bestie @magic-is-something-we-create for being a constant inspiration and rubber duck, bainstorming partner, and otherwise incredible human. love you bro <3

other people i have to thank for being lovely, helping with writing problems, and everything else are @ashen-crest @ettawritesnstudies @47crayons @faithfire @chayscribbles and so many more!! thank you all for another wonderful year on writeblr. i'm so excited to see what we all create in the next one <3<3 i love you all so much!

also, thank you to everyone who participated in my self love challenge!!

also also: shameless self plug to check out my sideblogs @devastatingly-handsome-friend and @hawksredrobe if you're a fan of supernatural or mash! i am very active on the mash one, not so much the spn one

[auspex]

drunk rambling about mark and sampson below

their dynamicmakes me insane i need content for them SO BAD. sampson said and i quote that he thinks there was something real at thebeginning of their relationship BUT NEITHER OF HTEM CAN TELL (BECAUSE SAMPSON CANT REMEMBER) WHEN HE GOT BLOOD BONDED TO THAT SUTPID FUCKING THINBLOOD ABUSER ASSHOLE FUCK and sampson started spying on mark and MARK FORGAVE HIM SO FAST FOR CHEATING ITS INSANE because he felt SO BAD about the whole thing and felt like it was his fault evne if rationally he KNEW it isnt his fault he got targeted but BECAUSE OF THE DAMN BLOOD BOND TO JULIUS (HIS SIRE) he cant blame HIM for it so who else is left ? that dam nthinblood? well he got killed so who is left? HIMSELF so Mark wants the world of sampson but is SO SCARED sampson is gonna resent him once HIS blood bond to mark wears off and is also SO SCARED that the blood bond wearing off is gonna fuck him over but ALSO caNNOT bring himself to force sampson to be blood bonded agian because of all of SAMPSONS TRAMUA but anyway is SO WORRIED about corssing boundaires cause hes so worried sampson nly stayed with him cause he was forced to to spy that he wont call sampson Sammy aymore which he used to. its a whole thing. god. god god god . i dont know if sampson loves him anymoire but if he does im going insane. he wont say it. prob due to being worried but like. holy shit. i need a happy ending for sampson so bad idc if he gets back w mark or not but he needs to be happy. mark is trying so hard to make sampson hapy but sammy has SOOOOOO MUCH TRAUMA and its HORRIBLE what happened to him and the camarilla is so fucked.

and mark is just some guy who didnt ask for ANY OF THIS and he JUST WANTED TENURE and to find LOVE in a HOMPPHOBIC SOCIETY but now the MAN WHO LOVES IS AT RISK FOR JUST BEING ASSOCIATED W HIM AND HES NOT EVEN SURE IF HE LOVES HIM ROMANTICALLY OR NOT ANYMORE BUT HE IS SURE HE LOVES HIM. and hes gonna do his damndest to make everything work out but he knows hes fucked. but fuck. he just wants sammy to be happy man but is too scared to share in that happieness. and he refuses to believe sampson still loves him until he says it. it hurts him so bad that probably the last 2 years of their relationship are a lie. he feels like a fool. so he jsut focuses on all the shit in his life right now cause theres a FUCKING LOT OF IT to resolve but once he resolves it. hes gonna have to confront that hes horribly lonely. so horribly lonely. who does he have left? he cant tell anyone everything

except

for julius who he loves because of the blood bond; julius chose him. hes spcial. julius is so amazing and powerful and handosme nad perfect. but hes evil. on some deep deep level mark knows this. but hes blood bound. hes trapped. he loves him. he can Tell Julius Anything. and He Should

except

in their first meeting he said "you can have many sammys" flippantly. he doesnt care about sampson at all. it is showing that julius does not Care about humans in the same way. the phrase HAUNTS mark. its SO FUCKED UP. how could he love someone who says this ? You cant just replace people like that.

so he doesnt fully open up to julius, due to his love for sampson, this stupid fucking bartender who flirted with him for tips.

this is massive cringe

wow. i love them.

[peninkwrites]

the dead don't dream - ch 25 of ?

Tommy does some reading and writing. Quackity and Tubbo don't talk politics.

(CW: blood and horror and mild self harm)

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 24

Ch 26

-

The Good

-I’m eating again.  I tried carrots again the other day wasnt sick.

-People want to protect me.  They all awnt to try. and the stasis chambers in the basement make me feel better.  A lot of people offered to have one set up.  Sapnap, Puffy, Sam, Techno, Phil, Tubbo, Ranboo, Bad, Ant, Quackity, Eret.  Just about evryone.  It’s setup so i can press 1 button they all come.  Feels weird cause Dream was gonna keep me using one adn now this keeps me safe.

I think i spend too much time down there though.  Im scared he’ll get me before i can get help so i needto stay near htem.  Im scared to go outside alone.  It’s good i can get help but it also means im stuck here.  I cant leave TUbbo’s house if i want help

“That’s not the good, Tommy…” Tommy mutters, staring gloomily at the page.  It’s true, though.  He’s forced into an awful choice– does he want to be safe, or does he want to be free?  Right now even feeling safe is a struggle.  Maybe he should try looking at the bad stuff for a bit.

The Bad

-im having nightmares again.  Theyr abt Wilbur agian.  But not like before.  It’s bad ina differnt way.

Wil keeps on beggng me to save him.  When it’s just limbo thats bad but osmetimes it’s Dream and thats worse

Tommy doesn’t want to write about that, like pulling those thoughts out of his head will make them more real.  He turns back to the good.

-Eret gave me sunglasses again but I was scared I was gonna lose them agian so i said no.  But when Sam came to help set up the stais chambers he brought be goggles.  Theyre easier to not lose becus I can jst keep them around my neck when I dont need them. Which is most of the time. I don’t really go outside much.

-Ponk also gave me a cane.  I don’t like that it helps.  It doesnt hurt s much and i can walk further.  I havnt fallen yet since i got it but might be because im eating again too.  I wanto walk like normal. Ponk thinks im right that my leg won’tg et beter because there’s nothing to heal. The nerves r damaged.

That’s drifting into the bad again.  Why is it so jumbled up all the time?

-they let me move wilbur closer. I mean i didnt move him im not strong enugh but tubbo helped.  He woudltn let me keep him in the house but he didnt bury him.  He’s in the side of the cliff in a bunker tubbo has.  Hes in glass so i can see him and know hes still there, hes there becaus

No.  No, the why of it is bad.  So he should put that on the bad list, right?  He wants things to be simple.  There’s the good and there’s the bad and if the good list is longer than the bad it means he’s getting better.  Why is this so hard?

The whole reason Tommy starting doing this was because he can’t fucking think straight.  First it was just the decisions that made him clam up, so he started using a book to weigh his options.  Now he’s just trying to piece together whatever his life is now.  He doesn’t want to think about it, about the journaling, as something he has in common with Dream, even though he’d have to admit that had something to do with it.  It comes from himself first and foremost, not Dream.  He’s always liked making plans and lists.  Just because it was in the midst of rereading that awful book that he thought of it is irrelevant.  Tommy hesitates, before turning back to the bad list.

-we put wilbur here so i can check and make sure hes still there. To make sure Dream didnt get him.  I feel more sure because if Dream finds him he’ll have found me too. I have to check thouhg.  After the nightmares

-in the nigtmares i dont save wil.  Sometines i lose him. Sometimes i go back to dream because of him.

-adn it’s not better when im awake. Im thinking about how bad it would have been if theyd showed up even a few minutes later.   I think abou it alot.  and I start pulling on my hair if i think about what was gona happen if they haddnt showed up at all. Or i endup scratching the floor. Whatever makes it stop. It scares tubbo. My nails were bleeding one time when he came back.

He tries not to leave me. but he’s helping sSapnap with looking for Dream or Quackity with L’Manberg.  When hes not here it’s Ranboo a lot but sometimes he forgets and shows up late. He always shows up thouh.

That’s good.  That deserves to go on the good list.  Tommy goes back a page.

-Tubbo tries not to leave me.  Ranboo always shows up even if he forgets and is late sometimes.

-people keep checking on me. Sam comes by and says he wants to make sure the stasis chamber is right but i know it’s just because hes woried.  He brought me pumpkin pie. I havent tried eating it because im worried i won’t be able to.  Ponk comes too.  But they have a better reason.  They check how sick i am still.

Sometimes i say things and it scares people.  Last time sam and ponk came over I told Sam I wanted to be like him. I thougt that was a nice thing to say.  But he got all worried becus i said it all weird.  Which is fair it was weird.  Said I wish I could self destruct and take Dream down with me if he comes fucking near me again.  Didnt mean to assume anyhting.  I dont know if it even works like that.  Sam dint get mad though.  Just asked if he could hug me.  He didnt hug me very tight thugh. Theyre all still scared of breaking me.

-my hair is short agian.  It’s much bette.r  Tubbo cut it.  I got a littl scared becaus of the shears, but Tubbo was really nice about it.  I didnt cry just then but i thought i was goign to.  Not bad tears though i dont think.  It was just different.  Gentle stuff doesn’t feel normal.  The hugs are a little less scary becuase Wilbur hugged me, but Tubo brushed knots out of my hair.  He was so careufl but it wasnt because he felt bad for me.  I coud tell it was different.  It was kindof like it fixed something.  Something i thought broke inme a long time ago.  I guess it ddint feel fixed. More like it s still broken but Tubbo took care of me anyway.

Tommy pauses.  He looks up at the bubbling pools of water around him.  It’s a careful design.  If he were to close one trap door, they all would.  Tommy had pointed out Dream could use it to summon them one at a time and kill them easily, so Sam made sure it couldn’t be done one by one.  It made sense, but sometimes Tommy almost wanted to use it to just bring Tubbo to him.  He should talk about the bad more.  Tubbo and Ranboo offer to listen.

He doesn’t want to talk about it.  They already don’t look at him the same, he doesn’t want it to get worse.   It’s not like there’s much worse for it to get.  Tommy flips back to the bad page.

-if they hadn’t showed up right then Dream was goign to cut his name into my skin.  It probly would have made a scar.  I dont want to think about what else he was ginna do to me.

There he goes again.  Tommy’s right hand holds a quill, his left drags against the stone floor, the pain shuddering up his arm.  He should stop doing that.  He doesn’t know why it’s so hard to stop.  He’s eating again– why can’t the rest of it get easier too?

“Tommy!  I’m back!” Tubbo’s voice echoes from up the ladder.  Tubbo always announces himself.  Tommy still flinches, holding his hand close to his chest, like he’s scared he’ll get in trouble for dragging his nails across the floor.  He knows if anything Tubbo would just look at him, that worried gaze with a bit of rage too, but not rage towards him.

“I’m here too!” Quackity’s voice follows.

Tommy should probably go upstairs and talk to them.  Tommy gathers his two books, tucking them both away in his inventory.  They’re both equally unassuming.  The only difference is one has his blood on the pages.

“You were down there when I left,” Tubbo almost sounds disappointed when Tommy climbs up through the trap door.

“I came back up and got food,” Tommy mutters.  “Hey, Big Q.”

“Hey, Tommy!  How’s… how’s it going?” Quackity’s cheerfulness seems a bit forced.  Same as everyone who’s come by to visit.  Their efforts to treat him like normal always ring hollow.

“Oh.  You know.  Just… working on getting Wilbur,” Tommy isn’t sure if he’s lying or not.  He hadn’t opened Dream’s journal all day.  It comes and goes.  Sometimes he can’t pull himself away from the thing, and other times he almost wants to burn it.

Something in Quackity’s expression changes for a moment, before his usual grin returns too fast for Tommy to try and guess what look Quackity had given him.  Quackity just pushes on.  “Right.  Tubbo over here has been helping me take over!  It’s gonna be weird– y’know?  A L’Manberg cabinet without either of you.”

“We’ll still be around, Big Q,” Tubbo shrugs.  “Just got… bigger things on my mind as of late.”

“Yeah, me, right?” Tommy scoffs.

“It’s not all about you, bossman,” Tubbo teases.  “Right now I’ve got important plans.”

“Do you?”

“Yep.  Gonna make rabbit stew to go with the pie Sam brought us,” Tubbo nods knowingly.

“Oh, right.  Very important,” Tommy rolls his eyes.  “Here I am, trying to solve death, but you’ve got some soup.”

Tubbo half nods, and his smile doesn’t fade, but he doesn’t quip back to that one.

“Is that what all that’s about, Tommy?” Quackity can’t stop himself from asking.

“What?” Tommy looks puzzled.

“Like, what you’re looking for, the stuff to get Wilbur back, d’you really think you can figure out something like that?” Quackity sounds skeptical, but he also knows what it’s like to see someone obsessed with a project to get through grief.  The only thing that got Tubbo to move on was, well, Tommy.  So Quackity continues without reservation.  “Like, aren’t you sorta worried you’re looking for something that might not even be there?”

The look Tubbo gives him is murderous.

Tommy doesn’t get angry; somehow that’s worse.  He frowns, lost in thought for a moment, staring at the ground.  “I know he can be brought back.  I’ve seen it.  I’ve lived it and shit, so.”  Tommy looks up at the two of them, something helpless and certain behind eyes still too grey.  He shrugs, but somehow he’s smiling, even if it isn’t a happy smile.  “So how can I leave him?”

The silence which follows is painful, almost unbearable.  “I’m sorry, Tommy, that wasn’t– that wasn’t fair of me, man.  I’m sorry,” Quackity fumbles for a reply.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, Big Q,” Tommy waves him off.  “Wil was the only thing keeping me together all those months– besides Dream, of course.  And– And Dream was bad,” Tommy says this like somehow despite everything he’s still trying to convince himself.

Tubbo and Quackity have no idea what to say to that.

“I’m back!” Ranboo knocks before he enters, his arrival cutting the tension like a knife.

Tommy still jumps.

Ranboo looks to each of them carefully, thinking.  Tommy needs to get out more.  Tubbo looks an inch away from snapping.  “Shoot.  I forgot– you wanted me to bring back firewood,” Ranboo sighs.  “Tommy, d’you want to come help me?”

Tommy stares at him.  “...Right.  I’d be great at that.  Lifting heavy logs, want me to swing an axe too?” He says dryly.

“Oh, well, if you don’t think you can do it…” Ranboo shrugs, turning back toward the door.

“Hold on, hold on!  I didn’t say that,” Tommy pouts.  “Give me a fuckin’ second to get my coat and shit…”  Tommy does so, and after a moment’s hesitation, grabs the cane from beside the door.  Trekking through snow tends to hurt worse.  His body aches now when he gets cold.

Ranboo and Tommy leave and a tense silence follows.  Tubbo returns to his kitchen, getting out ingredients loudly.  Finally, the tension breaks.  “You shouldn’t have said that shit, Big Q,” Tubbo is sharp, slamming a cutting board on his counter with too much ferocity.

“What, like you aren’t thinking it?  That he’s gonna obsess over Wilbur instead of getting better?” Quackity shoots back.  Tubbo has no reply.  There’s a moment of pause.  For once Quackity doesn’t want to be right.  He sighs.  “So, how is he?  All things considered,” Quackity nods towards the front door, where Ranboo and Tommy had just disappeared.

Tubbo frowns, focused on the cutting board in front of him.  “Better, I think.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” a pause, Tubbo chopping vegetables methodically.  There’s an edge to his voice; that always seems to happen when he talks about Tommy now.  “Not better enough.”

Quackity nods grimly.  “Yeah.  I mean, that makes sense.”

“Does it?” Tubbo’s voice grows high and sharp.  “He doesn’t leave that fucking basement and he doesn’t stop looking at that fucking book.  I– I dunno if taking him out here into the snow was a good idea, but I thought at least here he’d be safe, but he’s– He acts like he’s still a fucking prisoner! And I’m supposed to be the one making things better.”

“Come on,” Quackity shifts uncomfortably.  “You can’t mean that, he’s just– He’s nervous, understandably, right–?”

Tubbo stops his chopping, his shaky hands too close to drawing blood.  He turns to face Quackity sharply, a storm still brewing behind his eyes.  There’s always too much stirring under the surface with Tubbo, and it always breaks free with little warning.  “You wanna know what he said to me the other day, Big Q?”

Quackity stares, dread growing louder in the back of his head, but how can he not ask?  “What?”

“S-So, I come home, and he hasn’t moved from that fucking basement, so I– I ask him!” Tubbo gestures aggressively towards the snowy windows.  “I asked him if he’d gone outside that day, or if he’d gotten something to eat– or– or something– and h-he gives me this look, this surprised fucking look, and goes ‘oh, I forgot you’d let me leave.’  Let him?!  Fucking let him?!” Tubbo laughs and it sounds almost like a threat.  Tubbo wants to hurt something, but his ideal target is currently fucking MIA.  “Does that sound like nerves?!  Or does that sound like someone who doesn’t– who can’t–” Tubbo takes a shaky breath.  He needs to stop shouting before Tommy hears him.   “H-He always expects doors to be locked, okay?  And that’s–”  Tubbo’s voice is shaking from more than anger now.  “That’s not better, Big Q.”

Quackity seems to come to some decision, nodding resolutely.  “You don’t have to help me with L’Manberg stuff anymore, Tubbo.  I’ve got it.  Sapnap is still working his ass off trying to find Dream.  You should be here, with him.  I know you want to be.  The rest of us… we’ll cope without you, okay?”

Tubbo scoffs.  “Huh.  I’m glad you think I can help him, Big Q.  But I dunno how Tommy is going to get better when the very man he’s having nightmares about is still out there.”

“We’ll get him,” Quackity sounds utterly sure.  “However long it takes, we’re hunting that man down and we’re tearing him apart.”

“Well, don’t be too hasty, Tommy wants him back alive,” Tubbo shivers.  “For Wilbur’s sake.”  He glances in the direction of the bunker.  “The nightmares are still bad.  I’m not as worried about him freaking out and getting himself hurt, but it’s not gone away.  I know he still has them.  I hear him getting up and going to the bunker.”

“Yeah,” Quackity follows his gaze, unable to hide his disgust.  “It’s fucking weird how much he visits that body.  We should’ve buried it.”

Tubbo, for all his own irritation, gets defensive.  “It’s not like he’s hugging it.  He’s just checking to make sure it’s there.  It comforts him.  What were we supposed to do, just say no?  ‘Sorry, Tommy, you’ll just have to trust that he’s still there every time you have a nightmare’?  He’d probably end up running halfway across the server in the middle of the night, alone, and that’s not an option.  Nah, what’s really weird is Wilbur being the one who protected him apparently.  Where did that come from?  Tommy was learning to live without him before all this bullshit happened, after how he screwed us over, we all were…”

Quackity seems to find this part more reasonable than the corpse in the walls.  “Hey, they were foxhole buddies.  You remember what that was like, back in Manberg.  We had to put up with the same shit, some of the same shit, anyway,” Quackity pauses for a moment.  He fleetingly has the thought he should ask Tommy about Schlatt.  If he’d seen Wilbur, then… No.  Not something worth pursuing.  He refuses to let it be.  “And I fucked up then, too.  But I mean, look at us now.  I was an asshole, and now I’m your Vice President!” Quackity grins, nudging him teasingly.

“Not my VP anymore, Quackity,” Tubbo smiles cheekily.  “You were a bit of an asshole.”

“Hey!  I got better!” Quackity pretends to pout.  The moment calms.  “But, yeah, you heard him.  If Wilbur was all he had to hold onto… It makes sense.  Him wanting him back.”

Tubbo hums a noncommittal reply.  Wilbur just feels like one more thing Tubbo needs to protect Tommy from.

~

“Wake up.”

There’s a white mask above him.  Tommy can’t move.  It’s the familiar pain of being paralyzed.

“It’s time to come home, Tommy.  You’ve had your fun.  Now it’s time for you to come back,” Dream ruffles his hair and there’s nothing Tommy can do to stop him.

“No– No, fuck you!  S-Stay away from me!”  Tommy cannot move, but he can scream.

No one comes.  Not Tubbo, not Ranboo, not anyone.  He doesn’t know where he is.  It’s dark.  It’s not Limbo, though, because Dream is here.

Dream shakes his head, tutting him.  “Would you look at that.  You’ve been away for, what, a few weeks and already you’ve lost your manners!  I worked so hard to teach you those.  I can teach you again, you know.”

Tommy is sitting up.  He can’t remember moving.  Dream crouches down so they’re eye to eye, or eye to mask, rather.

“I have someone who’s gonna help me with that, you know.  Someone I think you really miss,” Dream’s voice rings with mocking pity.

“I’m gonna kill you– I’ll f-fucking kill you again, you bitch, don’t fucking touch him–” Tommy knows he sounds terrified.

“Tommy, please!  Tommy– make him stop!  P-Please do whatever he says just make him stop!” Wilbur is screaming, screaming like he’s close by.  Tommy can’t see him.

“Wil?!  Wil– if you can hear me–”

“Tommy, it hurts!  Please, Tommy!  Don’t leave me alone with him!” Wilbur is crying.  Tommy always gets scared when his brother cries.

(This is wrong.  It’s all wrong. Wilbur would never tell Tommy to give himself up.)

“Hear that, Tommy?” Dream whispers too close.  “He wants you to come home too.  You miss him, don’t you?”

(This is a nightmare.  This isn’t real.  So why does it still hurt?)

“Oh, I see.  You don’t care,” Dream continues, scolding and cruel.  “You should tell that to his face, you know.  You should tell him you don’t care.”

Tommy wants to scream, but he can’t make a sound as his brother’s bloody face is dragged from the darkness.  Wilbur is coughing up blood, it’s dripping from his eyes, so much blood pouring out from inside of him, a flood, the blood fresh and hot and its metallic scent far too real.  He’s reaching towards him, desperate, clawing hands, and then Wilbur is on the ground.  He cannot remain standing as blood pours from his ears, from his mouth, from his eyes, beading up from his very pores until he is nothing but red.  Tommy still cannot move.  Even as Wilbur writhes on the ground like a man possessed, and despite the blood in his mouth, Tommy can still hear him screaming–

Tommy doesn’t scream when he wakes up.  Instead he feels like he’s choking.  He’s tangled in the blankets, struggling to get free.

Finally he hits the cold wooden floor, gasping for breath, finally getting his bearings on reality.

He is in Tubbo’s home.  He’s safe.  Safe-ish.

That one was bad.  Not the worst, but as far as nightmares go, far from easy.  Ponk has offered potions to help Tommy sleep.  He hasn’t accepted them.  He’s scared he won’t be able to wake up when he needs to.  It doesn’t make his nightmares any more bearable.

It takes a few more minutes for Tommy’s racing heart to slow.  He stands, looking towards Tubbo’s bed on the other side of the room.  He hasn’t stirred.  Good.  Tommy treads carefully, an act he is well practiced in, and puts on his boots.  He grabs the cane from beside the wall, and after a moment of hesitation, he grabs a book he keeps tucked carefully under his mattress.

The cold air clears his head, and despite having a destination in mind, he stops to just look up.  He still hasn’t gotten used to seeing the stars again.  He could keep watching them.  Just to be sure they were going to stay there.

No, he won’t be able to rest until he sees this through.

Tommy goes to the bunker under the hill.  His left hand has his cane, which he leans more heavily on going down the steps.  The bunker has two floors, Tommy can see into the lower one through the gaps in the floor.  He looks down just to be sure he’s alone.  Wilbur is to the right, laid gently in a gap cut into the wall just for him, a sheet of glass keeping him from the rest of the room and rot.  He looks like he could be sleeping now.  He's covered by the same L'Manberg flag they had buried Tommy with.  Except for his face.  Tommy had needed to be able to see his face.

Tommy stares at him for a moment, right hand pressed to the already smudged glass.  “Hey, Wil,” he says it softly, a familiar greeting.  He sighs.  “You’re still here…”

He wishes that relief were enough.  It’s not.  Tommy doubts he’ll be able to sleep again tonight.  Tommy slowly leans against the wall beside Wilbur’s tomb, sliding to the ground.  He reaches for his book.  It’s the one with blood on its pages.

Tommy opens it.  He feels sick; not for the gore and violence lovingly described on its pages– although, that kind of horror is no stranger to him– but by just a few lines, a simple side note without flourish or fanaticism, not of any particular note to someone else, but to Tommy they’re so cruel it almost hurts.

“I’ve gotten distracted.  I started running out of copies.  Had to leave Tommy in lockup for a while to make more.  It’s stupid.  He got to rest while I did the dirty work.  Maybe I’ll teach him.  Enough that he can do most of it.  Not like he’ll ever have the opportunity to use it.”

Maybe I’ll teach him.

Maybe I’ll teach him.

Maybe I’ll teach him.

Tommy had never imagined there would be a moment where he regretted the timing of his rescue.  And yet, here he is.  He can’t help but think: how much longer he would he have had to suffer?  How much longer would he have had to put off rescue?  How many days, how many deaths, how much pain, had been between Tommy and learning how to save his brother?

[thebigqueer]

just remembered i wanted to make a post about will solace's sexuality headcanons so nevermind i have content.

also actually this is just me projecting mostly lmao

okay his queer awakening is honestly because of naomi solace. i think she has a lot of queer artist friends around her, but also it's just a lot of hot people and will meets them every once in a while. i think that since they're older he probably feels the most attraction to them.

this kind of happens around 5th grade

he has no idea why he's feeling this way and like. quite honestly he's probably even scared by it cuz internalized homphobia yk. so he gets scared off easily by these new feelings and honestly represses them down and kinda forgets about any of it for a while because like??? honestly finding out you may be attracted to someone of your same gender is such a terrifying concept???? you've grown up in a society where it's weird to do that so like it probably has such a huge impact on him and how he feels about queerness. so in the end, he probably just tries to forget about it and move on with his life. hhahahahah no im not projecting wdym :eyes:

when he gets to camp a little bit later, he actually meets a lot more queer people and doesn't even know that!!! wow!!! here are people who have similar experiences!!! and i think after he forgot about his sexuality crisis just a year or two ago, it kind of comes back but this time he's in a much better place to consider & actually think about his sexuality cuz he has better people to be around.

then he grows a little bit and like honestly he probably had a crush on beckendorf. yes i'll give into that headcanon. this is around the time he's in 6th/7th grade and cuz he's in a better environment he probably feels a bit safer to actually start. feeling idk??

but again he's not entirely sure where this is going cuz like he's technically been attracted to guys before but like. he's never quite accepted his attraction until now, while he's truly trying to accept & learn about who he is.

he doesn't really know how he identifies at all but he knows that he's actually maybe into guys???

in 7th/8th grade, he mostly identifies as pan because i think he mostly finds everyone attractive & experiences romantic attraction to lots of people. but he's still nervous to truly admit that he's still into guys so he shies away from doing anything too Promiscuous TM unless he's with friends

i also do believe that nico was one of his crushes at an early age (but they become friends first and foremost and after BoO will only pursues him as a friend. their romantic feelings for each other develop as they know each other more but that's later)

but then!! THEN!!! i think he reaches a point in his Sexuality Crisis TM where he just. fully accepts that. omg he's into guys!! GUYS!!! HE LIKES GUYS!!! like he still likes girls but he just suddenly accepts fully that he does like guys and he's super proud of it!!!

i think it also has a lot to do with his friends and a lot of htem coming out around the same time that will is

i fully believe that he has some kinda flings as a 13/14yo (yes ik i talk a lot about keeping 13/14yos single but you see. i feel like he would date for the fun of it and not so much for the actual romance because he's already got so much in his life going on along w/ his identity crisis so he's looking for something to entertain his self-discovery, basically). but i feel like he goes to visit his mom every once in a while, so he really only has flings when he's back at his mom's house. so he gets his first partner like?? i guess summer before 9th grade?? and honestly it's not that epic it's just 3 weeks but like!! first boyfriend yoo!!

then he gets back to camp after the summer and doesn't really date?? i feel like he just. kinda cools down. and this is when he also starts to make friends with nico and he's probably looking for a break for himself

in this time where things are kinda calm now after the battle w/ Gaea, i think he kinda reflects on himself a lot and like realizes that "hmm idk i feel like i'm?? a little more into guys?? i think?? like physically & romantically & aesthetically they seem better for me?? and i feel like i see myself with a guy more than a girl?? but i wouldn't mind dating a girl??"

and i think at this point he probably just starts to identify as queer because honestly he has no idea what the fuck is going on because literally who does when it comes to identity

but after some time, even after he's started to date nico, i think he realizes that honestly?? he's probably homoflexible. like he doesn't mind dating girls but he's not as attracted to them as he is towards guys. and it's not just nico who sways his thinking - he kind of reflects on his life and thinks about how he'd much rather kiss/date/crush on guys and like girls are cool but they're not always what he's attracted to

he's still confused to this day and he usually just says he's queer but like internally he's probably thinking he's more homoflexible. he uses queer as his label though

[wiretism]

this is going off teen mike btw. itd be mike as a teen and greg as an adult

Well first off mike wouldn't set vanessa free. i dont think he would. simply bc he doesnt seem like that kind of guy. he'd probably feel bad if he knew she was glitchtrapped but theres no way he's playing a silly arcade game while shes hunting him. sorry vanessa. at the same time him being glitchtrapped is a whole other can of worms im too tired to get into (go to V she has the glitchtrapped mike au lmao) but also i doooont know if he'd trust freddy. i think he'd totally team up with him, but idk about TRUSTING him. he'd lie straight to freddy's face, he would tell him something like "these claws were spares" "this is a voicebox i found in the back" and he'd be way more. violent with the animatronics. idk i think hed have a no shame surrounding hurting htem. and while i do think hed eventually dig into the disappearances, it wouldnt be then. he'd come back even though freddy warned him not to because he wants to find out what happened to these people and possibly help but he cant do that if he's dead. hed start looking way closer at things during the day but he'd be so scared of going back at night. i think when he got older if he still could, he'd take up the night shift and have some interesting interactions with vanessa maybe...

As for gregory! first off greg being williams son is already smth in itself. evan wouldnt die at least. but lets say evan did die. it wouldnt be by gregorys hands but itd fuck him up still. as would the missing kids' deaths i think. THEY would be his target. william would call him to circus baby's and he'd prioritize finding out what the fuck was going on i think. and he'd probably be nicer to the funtimes i think. i doubt he'd want to shock them. also he'd fucking kill the touchpad. he'd kill it. honestly i am not sure how itd go entirely gregory is so hard for me to write for some reason but. i think he'd be cool with more vandalism and less daddy issues. his arc would center more around the children (including his siblings) than it would william like michaels did. also he'd totally do private room ending honestly. that kid will NOT be tricked. he will be dragged tho. sorry greg if you swap with mike u get scooped. thats how it went for liz and evan too. i also dont know how hed feel about lefty but i know he wouldnt like em. and i think he'd be a little iffy on following henrys instructions too (hed tase the fuck out of scraptrap tho. just repeatedly. that rabbit will be on the floor) i think in general he'd become distrustful of people trying to "lead" him (william trying to take him to cbby, cbby trying to lead him to the cooping room, henry trying to lead him to fnaf 6 ending, yk?)

okay that post really got me thinking about if greg and mike swapped places. ugh. thinking thoughts

[murdereraisuha]

FINAL part of chapter 5!!!

WElcome to my liveblog it is time to SCREAM

Spoilers for episodes 68-75! Warning: Some caps and swearing. Also, it’s very long since I’m not dividing it up into different posts this time.

Alright, just started episode 68, why is it playing the sad music. Oh Vil’s hurt.

Epel wants to be the center!!! :D

Okay but Vil’s saying he’s gonna be okay and htere’s no need to worry. BRO just let Epel do stuff. OH WAIT This is his chance to stand on the stage until the very end! VILLLLLLLLLLLL 

Why are the other people seriously acting like everything’s normal. I know they didn’t know about the whole overblot fight but still, did NO ONE realize that they physically could not get into the stadium???

ALRIGHT IT’S SHOWTIME

LOOK AT THEM GO!!! WIAT THE SONG’S STIll ehiaTELTy

JAMIL JMAIL JAMIL JAMIL JAMIL JAMIL AJMILA JAMIL JAMIL JAMIL AJMILA JAJF KAKM<AIFLHGiteT(hy HE’S DACNIGN HEOSI DANCING I LOVE HIM OMG THE CHIBI DANCING IS SO CUTE 

FULL SONG REVEAL BOYS YEAAAAAAAAA OH THIS SHIT’S FIRE

THE AUDIENCE MEMBERS ARE A MOOD

OH shit Vil just collapsed. But we did it!!

Onto episod 70! Oh the rest of the Heartslabyul boys are here

and THEM.

OMG what would chapter 5 turn out like if Floyd was in the mood for dancing when the auditions were happening and he got on the team? hglksglksd HE’S GOING TO TRY OUT NEXT YEAR?!?!

GSHSSGhsGHSK FLoyd this is why you were my favorite character at first sight

Alright, Savanaclaw boys are here now. Does it mean something that they appeared after Octavinelle rather than going in chapter order?

Ohhhh, it’s cause he knows what’s up

Sebek sounds a bit too quiet? Anyway, time for YA HOOOOOOOOOOOO

Something about this grin really disturbs me.

Oh no yahoo. Right to the voting on who wins.

Voting done. WHy is this forboding music playing. alright who wins?? 

1st and 2nd place 1 vote apart????? THE WINNER IS... EPISODE CHANGE AND DRUM ROLL.... ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY 

EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUKC BRO RHFHHRT Excuse me???? STOP SHOWING THESE SWAVRES I DON’T CARE THEIS DON’T JSUT PLAY YAHOO OVE HTE BOYS CRYING I HATE THIS NEIGE YOU MADE KALIM AND EPEL CYR 

VIL’S CRYING 

WAIT WOOK. ROOKL. WAHT THE FUKC ROOK HE VOTED FOR ROYAL SWROD ACADMEY? BRO? EXCUSE ME

GEEZ ACE THAT IS SOME YELLING BUT I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY

ALRIGHT FRENCH BOY SQUARE UP IT’S TIME TO BEAT YOU UP IN A WALMART PARKING LOT LET’S GO

OKAy yeah maybe Vil doesn’t believe inh imself

did you have to make the team lose like this though to make vil beautiful

ah shit vil’s crying aGIN FUCK OFF NEIGE

OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK NEIGE YOU CAN STAY YOU ARE A SWEET BOY PLEASE BECOME FRIEND WITH VIL

FELLAS,

huh? EH? 

EVEN ROOK’S SURPRISED HE FOUND OUT. HOLY SHIT WHAT ROOK’S A NEIGE STAN??? NEIGE IS SURPRISED R-SAN IS A BOY SDHFLKDGKLSDGK

THE PHOTO ALBUM??!?!?!!?!? HOLY SHIT WE ALL ASUSMED IT WAS HIS STALKING VICTIMS BUT IT WAS ALL PICTURES OF NEIGE??!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING I THOUGHT AZUL WAS THE MOST RELATABLE TO STANS FOR SIMPING OVER JAMIL BUT ROOK IS STRAIGHT UP DOING THE EQUIVALENT OF LOADING THOUSANDS OF PHOTOS OF A CHARACTER INTO YOUR PHONE TO TRY AND PULL THEM IN A GACHA

HDSFGDLHKG KALIM’S JUST CONGRATULATING ROOK

god this poor man’s privacy and life are crumbling to pieces around him

“finally, I have the upper hand over this creepy hat man”

Is he boutta do his own take on Azul’s outburst after Leona dusted his contracts?

He’s crying...

NEIGE FANCLUB “Eternal Snow’ NUMBER 0000002 ROOK HUNT?!?!??!??! HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE IS A STAN

the disappointment on his face glkglshgls

F E L L A S ,

Oh Neige wants to sing together! AWwww friendship!!! :D

Oh. Welp. Seems the audience might be thinking of another kind of ‘ship. HAFDLHKFDHALK THE AUDIENCE IS CHEERING 

OH MY GOD THEY’RE ACTUALLY SINGING YA HOO

ACE’S FACE SHGLHKSGLKSDGLK DEUCE IS SO HAPPY THOUGH HSDGKSGHKDG THEY’RE SO CUTE

JAMIL SOUDNS SO DEFEATED HE’S SINGING SO SOFTLY BUT KALIM IS SO ENTHUSIATIC OH MY GOD I LOVE HTEM SO MUCH

LOOK AT THEM I LOVE THEM!!!!!

ROOK HAHAHAHAAHA

VIL’S SMILING NOW! YES! BE HAPPY! BE FRIENDS! Wait hold what what if the Pomefiore involvement/character developement in chapter 6 involves Neige too?? Please I really want to see Neige and Vil become friends

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THERE IT IS!

OH shit Vil yelling lmao

Oh crowley’s here. 

IS THIS THE HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY???? HWY DOES HIS HAT LOOK LIKE A SLEEPING CAP HDGKHLKSDghldlgdKLGKHL WHY IS THAT THE FIRST THING I THINK OF NOOOO I CAN’T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY NOW

Ambrose the 63rd? Welp, that’s a name to research for later.

oh this guy’s a bit of an asshole isn’t he

Oh, this guy sensed the magic of the overblot fight/Malleus. Crowley is pretty good at deflecting suspicion.

*detective thinking pose*

OMG YEAH GRIM Honestly I keep getting Ya Hoo stuck in my head too and I hate it so much.

Oh? Time for another meeting with Mickey! Wassup you weird little mouse.

We’re taking a picture of him!

Awwww he did a little pose for us! :D

It seems like the barrier/distance between us and Mickey weakens with each meeting. The time they can meet is increasing too.

This is something like “maybe sometime we will be able to watch a movie together”. Can’t wait to see people’s takes and theories on all this new information and concerning lines of dialogue.

Are we running somewhere? Oh, Grim’s missing?!?! OH SHIT WHAT JSUT HAPPENED 

A VISION OF A CARRIAGE AND OVERBLOT GRIM!!!!

WE’RE BACK TO TALKING WITH MICKEY???? HWat Okay we know Grim isn’t here but do we still know he not anywhere in the house? Is something funky going on with time? YEAH MICKEY JUST ADVISED US TO GO SEARCH FOR GRIM HE WOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT IF WE JUST RETURNED FROM SERACHING

IS THE TIME LOOP THEORY CORRECT? WHAT IS GOING ON? WE JUST RAN BACK TO THE STAGE.

GRIM OH WHAT THE FUCK THAT VOICE THOSE SOUDN 

WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT THE FUKC I FEEL LIKE THIS JSUT RUTNED INTO A HOORROR GAME WHAT THE FUCVK THWAT THE FUCFK THAT CRUNCKING SOUND HWAT HTE DEEP SVOice HGelihtgliehteiothi hIHTW WAHT THE FUCK I AM SCARREdD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAA HE”S ATTAKCING US?!?! DID WE JUST BALCK OUT?

IT JUST TRANSITIONED TO IDIA’S ROOM

His presentation went well BUT WHAT ABOUT GRIM?? DON”T JUST LEAVE US ON A CLIFFHANGER

Idia got an internship invite? Multiple invites? From “that Olympus company”? Idia wants Ortho to put them all in the trash...

IT JUST ENDS THERE!!!!

Welp. So, no more Scarabia stuff. :( I was really hoping for that. Nah, we get Rook stuff then we die and then Idia is depressed. Alright whatever it’s time to wait a bit and organize my thoughts before writing a whole reflection on this part, see ya. Hope you had fun reading this!

[karamazovdmitri]

for the book ask: 25 ; 29 :)

wow umm embarrassing how i forgot to reply to this..... BUT better late than never?? i guess?? asjfhbhsb

25. The only book care question that actually means anything: do you write in your books? If so, in pen or in pencil?

god im SO GLAD you picked that one because i have extremely a lot of feelings about it. and my feelings are that: i LOVE books that have been obvious read, that are all worn down!! it makes me so happy and i LOVE whenever i get books from the thrift book shop and theres writing in it !!! i think that the idea that books are precious artifacts that should be kept pristine is like some old monk/scribe bs LMAO like books are mass printed nowadays its fine to write in them... i DO draw the line at old books, or like rare editions because i do think it’d be nice to keep htem as close to the original state as possible... anyway all this preambule lmao but as for me personally, i mostly use post-its, mainly bc i tend to read on the bus and stuff lmao so i dont really feel like picking up a pencil and writing down my thoughts, but yeah i put little post-its to come back to it later !! i do want to start writing in them more, especially since now w the pandemic™ and all ive been reading at home more so ! yeah !! exciting developments... also if/when i do write in books, only ever in pencil bc im afraid of the ink of pens bleeding through the pages... but ye!! you’ll always find in me a strong advocate of worn down and visibly read books. like i love the fact that my first edition of TBK is allll fucked up from carrying it everywhere with me, it makes me very happy lol

29. Your vacation reading habits

omg yo this one is tricky af because see....... my brain is stupid and it tends to make me productive when i need to avoid work LOL so i tend to start a lot of books during finals week and the such, and then whenever i get on vacation, i just want to. do nothing for a while so lets say the curve crashes down real quick BUT ! once im like. revigorated from not having work to do, i pick up books again and i do love going outside like to the park or whatever and sit down and read for a few hours, its truly therapeutic™ but yeah its extremely erratic to say the least, i always think i’ll read so much during vacations and then i dont?? its tricky...

thank you so much for the asks omg those were great... and also sorry i took literally forever to reply, im truly Embarrassed... sajfaskfbhasf

[mfingenius]

Headcanons for asexual Draco??

Draco’s first suspicions that he might not want sex were when he was in fourth year when Beauxbatons was there and everyone was speaking about how hot they were and he just… didn’t care much??

Then Voldemort came back and it sort of gave him a reason or an excuse to not really be interested in wanking or sex bc, well. war??

And then sixth year came and that was a complete shitshow and there is no one who could be interested in sex at a time like that, right??

Then seventh year was better, but still pretty bad, so still understandable.

Then the battle of Hogwarts happens and the war is over and he’s still not even remotely interested, but like?? a war’s just ended?? it’s understandable…

but it’s getting on his nerves so he goes to muggle clubs and makes out with blokes and it’s alright, and it all feels nice, but he doesn’t want more?? he never wants more.

So he blows some guy in the back of the club and the guy offers to do the same for him but Draco just… doesn’t want to? he feels even slightly grossed out by the idea bc like… saliva?? on his dick?? no thanks.

And he goes home and he doesn’t go clubbing again.

And it’s been a few years since the war and he has just - sort of accepted that something’s wrong with him bc he doesn’t know that asexual is even a thing

and then he begins working with granger as an unspeakable

and they become really good friends

and she sets him up with harry bc she can see they’re both lonely 

ofc she doesn’t tell them that she’s setting them up, she just tells htem she wants to go out with them (separately) and then doesn’t show up so they’re alone

And it goes well

really, really well

And they start dating and everything’s good and Draco likes Harry in a way he hasn’t liked anyone before

And he’s getting increasingly frustrated bc he thought maybe it would be different with someone he loved but it isn’t

And one night he gets like super drunk and talks to Hermione about it

and he’s feeling super guilty and all that shit

and she just tells him

‘Draco, you could be ace’

and he asks what that is

and she explains it all

and so there’s silence for a bit and then it’s just

‘so… i’m not broken?’

and hermione reassures him that no, you’re not broken, you’re fine, and he cries bc he’s so fucking relieved

and so the next day he talks to Harry about it and he tells him that it’s alright if he wants to break up bc he didn’t know before

but Harry just tells him that he doesn’t want to break up

and that sure, he likes sex, but it’s not like he needs it

And at first Draco doesn’t completely believe him, but then time passes and it’s been two, four, six months, a year, and they still don’t break up and then Harry proposes and draco says yes

and they get married

and they spend their honeymoon sightseeing and cuddling in bed and doing everything they ever wanted and draco’s happy

and they spend the rest of their lives together in a very happy ending thanks 

----------------------------------------------

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Commissions

[99centthoughts]

i keep reading 'orion' as 'onion' so thats. who they are to me now

ONION……………………….. now im picturing orion as onion from steven universe and i am very stressed out by the thought

MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT!!! (a lot of asks im sorry)

1) D..DONT DIE YET ANON……….. SOON!!! I have a break coming up and i wanna do more comics stuff 😭

2) LOL omg IM SORRY !!!! I Messed up the layout a couple of times while editing it so it must have been weird 😨

1) Hiya! Honestly I think it would be best to get comfortable with more realistic proportions before you branch out into cartoon/anime style! I did it the other way round and I regret it a lot, bc I think it made my foundations really shaky and inconsistent. THAT’S NOT TO SAY u have to master the traditional art style before u start drawing any cartoons though!! I think it’s fine to do them together, just don’t neglect traditional anatomy and all that, bc it will help you a lot in the future regardless of the style you eventually choose to stick to!

2) LKMKLDS ANON STOP NOW IM GOING TO THINK OF THE STORE WHENEVER I THINK OF JC ………… he would be Mr penney???? MR..PENNEY..

thank YOU for enjoying my drawings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh thank you so much for such a sweet message oh gosh ANON YOU’RE MAKING MY HEART GROW 3 SIZES!!! Messages like this make me want to share everything with everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M HONESTLY SO HAPPY that my silly little tips and stuff can make drawing fun for you BC THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN HAVING FUN WHILE DRAWING!!! MAY YOU INSPIRE LOTS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE and most importantly I hope you always find joy in your own art!!!! THIS MESSAGE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND YOU DO TOO ILU ANON!!! IM GONNA KEEP THIS FOREVER

1) A NERD AND A PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) omg I have thought about basically every combination o f my ocs at least once anon lKMDLskdlj they would be cute!!!!!!! and a very calm couple… I feel like emmett would be patient enough to handle fay though it would take a lot to get there bc rn emmett is low key terrified of fay LOL 

1) IM NOT SURE U WOULD WANT TO MARRY THEM ¾ OF THEM ARE A MESS!!!!!!!

2) OH I googled around a bit bc tbh I have no idea what they are called too, and I think it’s called the terminator/ half tone?? it’s basically the bit of colour between the light and the core shadow (the darkest part of where the shadow starts) 

THe coloured outline of shadows that alot of artists do is an exaggeration of how it looks in rl but it is pretty neat bc it makes the object look like it’s glowing haha 

1) AW THANK YOU ANON!!!!!!!!! it’s so sweet that you’ve stuck around for so long and that you take the time to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE I’LL KEEP DRAWING AND MAKING ART THAT YOU ENJOY FOR YEARS TO COME!!!! 

2) OH no that plant is a random plant that I made up hahhaaa 

1) HELLO AGAIN AND thank you ahhh it means a lot to me that you take the time to interpret and think about my art in such a thoughtful manner😭😭😭 It’s really sweet and it makes me look at my art in a different way? I was thinking that the redrawn version seems more stiff and I wasn’t sure if I liked them more than the old ones, but after seeing this message I was like ohhh that is true I did try different things with the new versions and that is something I should appreciate and be proud of !! so thank YOU for the lovely words, it is my absolute pleasure to share my art with u!! 

2) HE IS YOURS PLEASE TAKE CARE OF THIS WHIRLWIND

1) I like using poses from magazines to study anatomy!! I either follow blogs that post magazine scans or I buy them myself when i can! Another thing I’ve found rly helpful was using fitness books/ videos as references… like those for muscle-building/ weight lifters, where there are diagrams of which muscles are working for a specific exercise. YOUTUBE has a lot of fitness videos, just type xxx workout, pause the video at any random frame, and u should be able to get a nice reference to study muscles with!! If u want references for the muscles themselves, some good books I’ve found helpful are: Strength training Anatomy and Anatomy for sculptors (I can give them to you off anon if you’d like)!

2) I HOPE YOU ARE enjoying the brushes !!! NO WORRIES AT ALL I’m happy to share my brushes with anyone who might want to try using htem!! SENDS YOU ALL OF MY LOVE BACK I HOPE YOU ARE ALWAYS HAPPY AND INSPIRED ❤❤

1) omg this is so hard bc there are 213213 options and I could picture them as more than 1 type of fantasy creature tbh ……… BUT FIRST ONES THAT COME TO MIND WOULD BE : some kind faerie for fay haha, werewolf for tyler, centaur for emmett, vampire for jc, some kinda elemental spirit for cyrus, an orc for wade, and UHH some kind of wise gate guarding creature for parisi LOL 

ILY TOO AND thank YOU for loving my silly boys!!!!!!!!! 

2) AHHHH thank u anon I WISH YOU ALL tHE BEST AND I HOPE YOU KEEP DRAWING AS WELL ALWAYS 💞💞💞💞

1) OR PERHAPS PARISI IS JUST ENORMOUS but also yes it’s true baby tyler is a tiny baby bean

2) LSKMDLKSM HOW CAN I NOT SAY I LOVE YOU BACK TO YOU THE SWEETEST ANON OF ALL TIME 💖💖💖💖💖

1) omg anon this is a lie I am terrible at drawing anything symmetrically and if I somehow produced anything to make u think so, it’s probably because I spent 10 hours on getting it to look ok LOL I.. TRY TO USE GUIDELINES and flip my canvas to check that things are balanced… that helps me out a lot :’D 

2) thank u anon for this ask it is beautiful and I will frame it and keep it in my room to encourage myself to start drawing batfam art again 

1) HEY ANON and thank u! I have a list of resources that I’ve found helpful here (at the bottom of the page) !! I hope some of that might be useful for you and feel free to drop me another msg if u need more/ want something more specific!!!!!!! ALL THE BEST

2) omg I havent replied to asks in so long that I didnt even rmb what picture this was referring to and I had to go back and look LOL HE’S TRYING HIS BEST ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE CANT HELP BEING AN AVERAGE MAN SURROUNDED BY MODELS HOW RIDICULOUS OF THEM !!!! 

[kurainburdened]

👫 ft. saizo KJNHM

bHey guess what you asked for saizo but youre getting like everyone

Knock of Sasuke Saizo

Lol I like to bully him,

His is funny because it’s so completely one sided right now, if only slowly pulling results. But lets see what I can do with the local tsundere ninja, as the company liked to call him

Maya and Saizo are two complete opposite souls pulled together by circumstance. Maya is overbearing, fun loving and silly. Shes finally out in the real world and poor Saizo has to pull on reigns to keep her from doing anything too crazy. That’s already a big job for most people but for someone like him? Well it’s easy to see how their relationship got to how it is.

But Mayas genuineness does indeed begin to wear him down. She goes out of his way for him. After all, job or not, he’s still risking his life for her and she wants to do what she can for him even when he’s being a huge meanie! The more he tells her it’s impossible for htem to be friends the more of a challenge she takes it as. And she wont stop until theyre best buddies!

I like to imagine a scene where someone is trying to kill saizo who can barely move from the fight and Maya stands in between them. The person cant kill the kurain master because shes useful so they at least try to fight her enough to deter her but she keeps getting back up.And shes getting in really bad shape, she can barely stand but she still pulls herself in front of saizo. Like yes she’s weak, yes she doesnt know the firs tthing about fighting but she will NOT let anything happen to him if she can still move. Of course in the last second the cavalry comes. and Saizo probs gives her a thorough scolding.  

Now for some fun hcs!

Maya ends up trying to learn how to defend herself and to his surprise she actually has an aptitude for the sword. Something no one saw coming and something only a trained ninja could even recognize. She’s not so good with her feet so it’s kind of hard to tell for most people. She also has good instincts and after quite a bit of time, He actually gets her to be pretty good! The two can gave some good fights, tho of course Saizo still dwarfs her but Maya has fun fighitng him. YOU CAN BET that once she starts getting some level of good she’d try sneak attacking him. It wields some painful results at first, but after  bit he becomes able to send her presence specifically so she doesn’t get as hurt. The first time she genuinely is able to sneak up on him she’s so proud of herself. That is, if that happens. But it’d be cool if it did.

Sakuhito

So I hc that Maya ends up finding out about sakuhito the same way it goes in the prologue. Though it takes longer after meeting them for her to revea that. She kind of plays around with sakuhito for a bit. She’ll muses loudly like ‘huh thats funny thats different from what you told me before. Thats sooo strange. Whats going on here,’ she sees him sweat and desperately try to cover it up for a bit  before kind of letting him off the hook and shrugging like ‘ah well must be my imagination. anyway!’ and changes the subject quickly. One day shes finally like ‘so who are you? cause its definitely not the emperorer’

She gets what it’s like to be in big positions of power so she plays with him a lot. Tries to get him to loosen up. This mostly takes the form of her playing little harmless pranks on him. Something to make him smile. As well as give her a good laugh. You can bet she sets up a banana peel in front of him. It’s all in good harm and nothing harmful and nothing that would put his position in danger

When theyre alone Maya teaches him fun kid things. She excitedly recounts all sorts of fun tales she’s heard, complete with reenacments that sometimes gets herself hurt during the action scenes, sometimes sakuhito. She doesnt care. Maya is probably alot more daring around him than anyone should be allowed to be in front of the emperor but it always works to her favor. All she wants is to get his mind off all the big heavy stuff he has to deal with in the outside world. When theyre together in her room, she wants him to just feel like sakuhito.

I feel like this might result in him feeling the need to distance himself because she ends up being able to tear his mask off a lot easier than she should be able to. And he has a job to do. He cant let anyone know of his presence but maya is absolutely RELENTLESS.

Maya and Sakuhito are very similar in that they have theyre fun childish sides but this never means that they are people who shirks their responsibilities. Which I think is a big comfort for Maya because I like to imagine in the presence of other people they’ll be all stiff. Maya and Sakuhito bow deeply to each other and are like ‘It’s an honor to meet you Emperorer Kuze’ ‘Yes as with you oh powerful Kurain Master’ and they’ll glance up and theres this small smile and glimmer in they’re eye and they share a giggle before coming back up. Them talking to each other politely feels more like a game of pretend, compared with others when they’re playing their assigned roles.

Now time for fun hcs!

I like to imagine if they’re stuck in a gathering of important figures, Maya and Sakuhito will find themselves together and they’ll look like they’re having important conversations, and sometimes they are but others Maya’s just cracking jokes with him in a hushed tones. Sometimes Sakuhito has to start into a coughing fit to hide a laugh.

Of course Maya doesn’t do this all the time. She has a good sense of responsibility and time and place, but there’s also something fun about sharing in these secret conversations. It’s a feeling akin to passing notes in the middle of class with a close friend.

These two have conversations thats just two people of similar personalities and backgrounds who can connect and understan each other in this way that not a lot of other people can They have a lot of fun and when they’re together they can just be themselves. And it’s a bit of a relief from their usual lives. They give each other a place where they can be themselves.

I like to think that they’re kind of like each others safe havens. Like theyre home when they’re with each other.

These two get so good at reading each other so if something happens in a room, they literally just have to make eye contact and immediately theres this understanding. They can make hand signals that no one else understands but them.

Ohh Maya gets kidnapped and she sends a letter thats supposed to make sure no one suspects anything but later when Kuze is relaying this to Sakuhito Maya says something odd that makes Sakuhito raise an eyebrow. Like it’s something small that no else would think twice about but he just KNOWS and he takes a look at the letter and it makes mention of a story character who gets kidnapped, And its one of the stories she had told him about and hes immediately like. MAYAS BEEN KIDNAPPED. and everyone else is like. isnt that a jump? but he just KNOWS. he can tell from just these small things that somethings wrong and theres something in his gut that just makes him so sure of this

oh man i want modern au for all your muses i just tried imagining modern sakuhito but idk how thatd even translate

Munenori

I feel like she tends to do the same for munenori that she does for Sakuhito but rather than it being a concentrated effort at first, with like a purpose she just can kind of naturally be herself. I think that has to do with the fact that Munenori isn’t pushing himself like sakuhito is to keep up the mask of someone that is just the opposite of himself.Her relationship is something more relaxed where she just is herself and munenori appreciates it

I feel like this relationship is very mutual in that, Maya really loves and respects him. She respects how dignified he is. How he holds himself as a leader and how he leads. She’s fascinated by him because he doesn’t treat her like others do and he seems to genuinely enjoy her presence rather than just putting up with her. There’s this natural pull she feels where she wants to learn more about him. In turn munenori appreciates how shes never let the power she has get to her head, rather it’s not in her to ever let her power control her like it has others. She’s so genuine and has this aura of fun about her but also never shirks her own responsibilities. I also feel like he’ll be one of the first to realize her tactical abilities and that she’s much smarter than she or anyone will give her credit her. Like this relationship is built on a lot of mutual respect.

When these two are together I like to imagine it’s more like two like minded people with differing energies that come to converge when they’re together. It’s a friendship that on the outside looks so strange but for these two it’s so natural. They’re like minded enough to enjoy one anothers presence but different enough for them to be able to learn and grow from being together. The ways they differ allow for them to have these interesting conversations. While they don’t agree on everything they can usually walk away from disagreements feeling like they learned something. I guess if I had to describe it, you wouldn’t ever imagine it but their brains are kind of on the same wavelength. Like they can just enjoy each others presence and grow from each other, but when things get bad, something happens with the war, they stand on equal footing and can help support each other. Give insight that the other lacks

Roberto

Her relationship with Roberto is interesting because he meets her on much different circumstances than she does with the other two. Maya is trying to really embrace her responsibility and in doing so leave parts of herself behind. It’s not like she’s all business all the time but there’s not as much room to be herself. That’s why Roberto is someone she really connects with. He brings out this side of her that’s shes trying to lock away and just the mere presence of him is making that impossible for her.

These two are people with similar energies who feed into each other. When they’re together it can be explosive chaos because there are ZERO brakes. Interestingly enough it’s usually maya with the reservations. Because she’s here to work. She’s here to study. Yes she has fun, yes she can be silly, but she can’t be her usual rule breaker self when she’s here. She wants to be respectful to the kingdom that allowed her to study under their royalty. So she can’t exactly go around burning the place down.

That’s why Roberto is kind of like her kryptonite. He so naturally and effortlessly pulls her entire personality out where she likes it or not. That’s kind of good but kind of bad. He encourages those impulses that usually most people would tell her no. It’s good in that Maya has more room to breathe, but sometimes he encourages her to do things she shouldn’t. But I think because he’s encouraging this side of her that everyone tells her is bad, she feels more like she can trust him. Like she can entrust this side of herself to him.

Now for some fun hcs

Maya and Roberto get so good at avoiding guards it’s like a game of hide and seek. They end up becoming really acquaintd with all the nooks and crannies of the palace. They end up exploring the castle more thoroughly and even find hidden passageways and they explore a lot together. Like they have all these cool adventures.

[vwoodes]

@jcllyfisn warning in advance i wrote this with my head switched off, but the inspiration had me. probably completely ooc but //clenches fist// i love htem.

It starts like this.

It starts slowly, seeping through cracks she didn’t know were there, sneaking up on her and settling in her bones before she can do so much as guard against it.

It starts on quiet nights and early mornings, in messy breakfasts and walks on the beach, happens with little nudges and snarky comments, drinks shared over laughter and tears, with fights and with embraces and without even a little warning at all.

It starts here.

Val is zoned out, sitting, staring at nothing as she usually does; as she has been, for the past hour. Somewhere in the back of her head, she registers the ache seeping into her bones along with the cold, her muscles stiff and angry. She doesn’t move. She sits, and she stares, and she ignores the world for a moment, lets her mind go blank and deliberately doesn’t think of anything. Doesn’t think of the way her hands ached with bruises. Doesn’t think of how her split lip had scabbed, weird and pinched and going to heal wrong. Doesn’t think of the look in that girl’s eyes as Val had pounded her father — murderous, drug-running, but still a father — into the ground. She doesn’t think of any of that, and instead she fills her head with nothing and everything, gaze fixed on the horizon where dusk stains the sky with crimson, and sits. Her ears are filled with a constant buzzing, the back of her eyes tattooed with static-y and off-coloured shapes that make no sense. But the ocean is calm, the beach is empty, and only the soft crash of breaking waves in the distance disturbs her vigil.

She doesn’t know how much time has passed, maybe a minute, maybe an hour, but eventually she blinks and night has fallen. The red has leached out of the sky, replaced with violet, and indigo, and a million tiny pinpricks of light. There’s someone standing in front of her, a darker shape in the dark of the evening, and the light of the moon allows her to pick out details like the line of a nose, or the pattern of a coat. None of that matters though, because Val would know that shape by heart, no matter how it changes.

They don’t talk, but Olivier takes a seat next to her, close enough that Val can feel the way her raincoat creases as she moves, can feel the heat of another human being, hear her breathing in and out in time with the waves, slow and steady. Val lets her eyes slip closed. She leans, just that tiny bit it takes until she’s resting her head on Olivier’s shoulder, and basks in the warmth that radiates between them, spreading throughout her body. Her back aches, and her fingers cramp when she moves them, and she’s pretty sure that if she tries to stand up her legs will be numb — but it’s nice.

It’s quiet.

That’s the beginning, but looking back, it’s not until later that things change. Like a ball rolling down a hill, it starts slow and builds momentum, and Val is left chasing after it and wishing she had realised sooner.

It’s a fleeting touch on the back of her neck as she teases Quartz, tiny grin bared for all to see as Val gives the kid a heartfelt noogie (Quartz hisses and spits and struggles in her arms, but Val knows she could easily break free if she wanted to — and isn’t it something, that this wounded, broken, wonderful child has come to trust them even this much? The inevitable bites and scratches will be worn like a badge of honour, smug because, ha! In your face Thatch, Quartz likes her). It lingers both too long and not long enough, and Val leans into the touch, as she always does, but doesn’t give up on her quest to embarrass the kid. Olivier passes by, her hand trailing along the nape of Val’s neck and over her shoulder, and the shiver along her spine has nothing to do with Marco’s tired glare and everything to do with the glance Olivier left with — one alight with hidden mirth and something like affection. Arms slackening around her prize, Quartz breaks free in an instant, hair fluffy and sticking out in every direction, cheeks adorably flushed as she bites out curses Val would be proud of if she weren’t distracted. She tracks Olivier’s progress across the deck and resists the urge to follow after her, resists the gravity that has her facing the door Olivier vanished into, like Mercury orbiting the sun.

But the pull is there, and it never quite disappears.

It’s the way her hair catches the light of late afternoon, one day by the deck. There’s a party in full swing around them, a welcome or a birthday or something, but Val is rooted to the spot, hand half raised in greeting. People laugh and chatter and push by her, there’s music starting up, and someone’s said something that makes Whitebeard roar with laughter — and Val stands there and remembers. She remembers that sunset from months ago, and thinks Olivier’s hair is the same shade of violet. Exactly the same, Val thinks. Lit from behind with the light of the sun, warm and cool meeting and melting together seamlessly, she can almost see it soak up the scarlet sky until it’s dyed a boundless indigo and dusted with stars. It should be nothing, just a passing fancy, but it leaves her struck still.

And then Olivier turns, and sees her, and smiles, and Val’s chest catches fire.

It’s a tiny thing, that smile, tiny and sweet and real.

The fire in her chest has burnt it’s way up to her cheeks by the time Val manages to move, but she doesn’t continue on, she spins on her heel and leaves, manages to make it to a hallway below deck with only minor stumbling, and she swallows and counts that as a win.

Time passes, as it always does, and it becomes normal, feeling a wildfire burning inside her when she’s around Olivier. Sometimes she will smile, or tell a joke, or get that light of mischief in her eyes that means she’s about to prank some unfortunate soul, and the blaze will flutter and spark like a gust of wind fanned through it; Other times, times when they haven’t seen each other in weeks, months, times when events catch up to them, when she says something wrong, or forgets — then it feels like going hungry and losing appetite at the same time, fire sputtering to embers and glowing coal; but it never goes out.

Val learns to adjust to the inferno beneath her skin.

Even with that, it takes more. Val’s on an island, alone for the first time in what feels like forever, but has really only been a couple of weeks. There’s a good lead on a bounty, plenty of money in her wallet, a great bar just down the road, and she even has a place to stay. By all rights, she should be thoroughly enjoying her stay here, but. She’s not.

There’s something trailing at her footsteps, a need to call out, but nobody to call to. A reminder, in lilac baubles and strange seafood. A glimpse in a window, half expecting there to be two reflections instead of the one.

She’s. . . not restless, that’s the wrong word for the emotion curled in the hollow space between ribs, around her shoulders, pressing her down. She’s not restless, but it’s similar. She’s. . .

Lonely.

Val pauses in the street, let’s the bounty she’d been trailing round a corner without her. Loneliness is an emotion she hadn’t allowed herself in years, not even when separated from Johnny and Yosaku, and to feel it now sends a dull thorn into her mind. It’s a crack in her mental blocks, and now that she recognises the one, others come tumbling after: she’d been sad, to leave the ship. She’d been happy, to be wished well on her travels. She was eager to leave the island and return h-

She stops that thought there, turns around and heads for the bar.

When she does return to the ship, a month later than she’d promised last she wrote, it’s with sheepish apologies for the worry and many souvenirs. The gifts are received with mixed reactions, but that’s fine, she hadn’t really been paying attention when she bought them this time. She’d been distracted by feelings, of all things, and it had taken an unfortunate amount of time to wrap her head around the fact that that was okay now, that she was allowed to feel. And what a revelation that had been, face down in the sand with a nest of empty bottles around her, leagues away from the people who caused it. No one has ever accused Val of being the smartest crayon in the shed, but she tries not to cringe as she thinks of it. She really is dense, sometimes.

She’d missed them, the Whitebeards. And most of all, Olivier.

Thoughts of returning had buoyed her borrowed sails, and this time she didn’t let ending up on the wrong ship steer her off course. She wasn’t part of the family, she wasn’t even friends with most of them, but they made her feel welcome in a way precious few had before, and it struck her that she’d never told them how much that meant. She wanted to, now, wanted it with a passion she rarely felt and even rarer acted on. Olivier isn’t there, but she’s probably away on business and Val doesn’t let it bother her. She opens her mouth to say something, her small gathering by the rails comparing presents and ribbing each other in a happy mess of bodies, and then she spots her. Olivier is next to her father, gesturing at something before heading their way, and Val thinks, I should wait for her, and, her coat looks a bit singed, and, Stephan got bigger again.

And then their eyes meet.

It starts like this: a flash of purple, a fleeting touch, a secret smile.

It burns in the back of her throat, and makes her heart beat raw and aching, and steals the breath from her lungs to make room for- for other things.

Val meets Olivier’s eyes across the deck, and it’s like stepping off a ledge, her stomach swooping in ways that probably aren’t healthy.

Something grows in her chest, sinks deep into her veins and hooks into her skin, strips the words from her tongue and shifts everything inside her just a bit to the left, just enough to tilt the world on its axis. Or maybe she’s the one tilting (though it feels more like falling), and regardless she reels from it. Head spinning, the world settles around her in a new and unfamiliar way when she finally finds her feet.

“Oh,” Val says. Breathes the word out, because there’s no room left in her for anything but realisation, and the importance of air and oxygen leave her mind in the wake of it. And then she says it again, because, “Oh.”

She’s in love.

[foxstens]

i think im playing revelations wrong

so it seems the exclamation mark i kept avoiding was actually just an introduction to recruiting potential assassins and doesn’t start sequence 3 like i thought... i just avoided it as long as possible and did everything else i could. explored every corner i had access to got almost all the treasure chests on my map and lit up all the templar towers... they were so easy what the heck. i guess it’s bc the borgia towers gave me ample training and i developed a foolproof strat for these. but i still feel like there’s fewer guards around or the captains are in really easy spots or smth. they’re just a lot easier than the borgia towers which is a bit sad. still cool tho

so i went through all that the entire time wondering when i’d get recuits lmao. getting recruits is a bit more creative this time like there’s ones that are exactly like in brotherhood where you just kill some guards but here the citizen can die (idk if that was possible in brotherhood) and some are actual very short side-quests which is really fun. also none of the towers are locked so you can just destroy all of them then save like 12 citizens and you’re set. now instead of pigeon coops we have crafting tables that basically serve the same function but you can also make bombs with htem?? somehow?? they don’t really show up on the map tho so that sucks.

also the hideout in this game is a lil bit... annoying... there’s always other assassins around who react to you walking past which i like but it’s so confusing i always get lost there and i just can’t find shit lol. don’t like the structure or the music of the place eh

speaking of bombs you can find all sorts of ingredients in treasure chests and you can craft bombs with them provided you’re introduced to the bomb somehow. there’s also a black market guy who can sell you bombs provided you find him when he shows up on the map. and yea it’s kinda cool like different bombs do different things and they’re good for distracting guards for example so you can get a treasure chest or smth. buuuuuut you can also only have 3? types of bombs at once and only four pieces of one bomb. which. makes me not want to use them and instead rely on the crossbow which works great most of the time and now i can have 25!!!! bolts

eh idk i don’t think the crafting part is really well explained at least so far. also this game’s collectible is the animus data fragments or whatever, there’s like 100 of them. i havent been vibing wiht hte modern storyline in this game and i honestly have no idea what the fragments do so i dont really feel like hunting them down... i’ll still try to get one if i happen to see it but yea.

there’s also this horrible slomo effect when you do a chain kill? or something? idk it only shows up on the last guy you kill i think and it’s so annoying pls why. like some thigns are a bit slower bc ezio is older and stuff but that just breaks the gameplay pace and i hate.

i do love ezio tho like i haven’t /seen/ much of him bc ive barely seen anything of the plot but every time he speaks he sounds so much calmer and more mature, and the things he says are so???smart??? and the game fits that vibe, it’s all so very chill, even the guards are less likely to attack you for no reason. well there’s guards on roofs with shotguns which i hate with a burning passion but i don’t actually spend a lot of time on the roofs so it’s fine.

also the templar awareness system in this game isn’t that bad. igniting a tower doesn’t actually increase it and you can just bribe a herald then turn a corner then come back and bribe him again if needed. there’s also these templar stalkers that kinda show up out of nowhere and you could hunt them down if you wanted to but if they attack you you can just hit x and they’ll die, and it decreases your awareness significantly soooooooooooo i kinda like them

there’s also a tower defense minigame that everyone seems to hate but that i havent seen at all outside of the tutorial bc it only happens if the templar try to take back a den you took over, which in turn only happens if your awareness goes way up. which im paranoid about and i never let it happen. altho ive heard they kinda stop attacking if you take over all of their dens??? i havent tested it out yet but that’d be fun lmao. 

but yea im having a pretty good time, its a lot of fun. i haven’t played as much as i wanted to this week bc ive been pretty busy irl and that’s prob how it’ll be next week too, but its fine i dont wanna rush through this game, i’d rather just take my time and enjoy the experience while it lasts. i hope there’s some cool collectible other than the animus fragments and the treasure chests so it doesn’t end up feeling too short. oh and also appearances of other characters we know and love such as leonardo and claudia and all them :’)))))))