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hearts401 · 1 year ago

Note

"do NOT ask me about ggy or patient 46 because i WILL begin ranting"

You see, I am incapable of ever listening to anyone, ever, so I must ask about GGY and patient 46

I have absolutely no knowledge of modern FNaF lore; I have not read any of the books (something I plan to fix whenever my bank account stops bleeding) so you're gonna have to do some heavy lifting here and tell me all about it

Ooh boy rubs my hands together

okay so im gonna start with ggy because i love Tony and Ellis. (i dont have the book in front of me tho so this isnt gonna be 100% every detail)

GGY is about a kid named Tony Becker who has an assignment in his 6th grade english class. He has to write a fictional mystery with side plots that tie into the main plot. He chooses to do this with his two friends. They use pen names whenever they do their english projects together (sobs and wails and cries into my hands) and Tony picked Tarbell, and his friends were Boots and Dr. Rabbit (or Rab for short).

Tony wants to start working on their project, but Boots and Rab want to go to the fazcade. Tony gives in when rab backs up boots (tony sees boots as immature and worries about outgrowing him and hanging out more with rab) tony wanders around the fazcade trying to find inspo, and then notices someone named GGY with top scores on some of the games. when he asks other people about it, they tell him the scores are seemingly impossible, but when he asks a staff member, he's told they haven't been hacked.

At some point he makes an online blog to ask about it and a girl he'd talked to in the fazcade asks him to meet her. she tells him that she thinks this is more than just high scores, and that he should stay out of it.

Oh also freddy keeps watching tony and at some point begins following him.

Tony finds out that GGY has a hacked party pass (or it was like a fun pass or smth) that gives them access to much more than it should, working almost like a security card.

Tony then finds out one of the school counselors has gone missing, and he sneaks into the librarian's office to learn more about it. he finds out two other counselors have also gone missing, all of them having gone to the pizzaplex before disappearing.

tony writes his paper and gives it to Rab and Boots to look over, and when they come back the next day, they've changed it into a fantasy story. And GGY is labled as the wizard's favorite apprentice, rather than someone getting high scores on arcade games.

tony is upset with rab and boots and begins calling htem by their actual names.

Rab is Greg, Boots is Ellis.

tony is also in trouble for sneaking into the librarian's office and using her laptop, so he has detention shelving books.

Greg come and offers to take him to the pizzaplex when he's done, and it's kind of implied he killed him there.

again i have bad memory and i dont have the book in front of my so anyone can feel free to correct anythign i got wrong or missed

now onto patient 46 who's from the therapy tapes in sb.

this'll be undeniably easier because i can just listen to the tapes. patient 46 is also not confirmed to be gregory, its just a theory, so im just gonna call them 46.

its important to note that 46 does not speak.

everything here is things implied to have been nonverbally communicated to the therapist.

Tape 2:

It starts with the therapist talking about how the day is nice, but 46 doesnt like the light, so the therapist draws the blinds. she then comments on how 46 is not talking to her today, and says that she gets reviews from patients, and when 46 doesn't let her help them, she gets bad reviews. she tells 46 she could get in trouble and get put in timeout, which 46 finds funny.

Tape 4:

New therapist is here, she asks if 46 is going to talk to her, and they dont reply. she asks whats wrong, and they gesture to the flowers. the therapist comments on them being particularly fragrant and moves them. The therapist then comments on 46 staring at something, and says they're "amazingly alert." she says shed like to have 46 tell her about themself, but 46 does not. the therapist instead chooses to look through their notes. she also comments on the chair not fitting 46, but its not specified if its too big or too small. she then asks if 46 is bothered by a new therapist, but 46 doesnt seem surprised or confused at all. the therapist says shes surprised by whats in 46's notes. she says they have a "rebellious side" and a knack for computers, and explains the word phenom to them. the tape ends with her asking if 46 considers themself a hacker

tape 6:

new therapise again! she tells 46 shes already read their files and knows what theyve worked on. 46 asks for a candy, and she gives one to them, taking one for herself as well. she says she wants to start with 46's parents, and claims it was tragic but she doesnt think 46 has processed it emotionally. she says they wrote it like they had read it off of a book. (her exact words are they wrote an objective rather than a subjective narrative, but 46 didnt know what that meant.) she says 46 spends a lot of time alone and is good at self-dialogue, which she explains is "asking urself questions and getting answers" she tells them to try asking themself how they feel about what happened to them. she tells them to let themself be upset about it so they can let it go.

tape 8:

same therapist as 6! she asks 46 if theyve thought about what they talked about. 46 had told them their past had made them sad and scared. the therapist asks if they had written down exactly what made them feel that way. she then says she works with many people who respond to tragedy differently. she asks 46 if their fantasies would be different had this tragedy not happened to them.

Tape 13:

new therapist again! she says when shes getting to know a client, she likes to find out abt their hobbies. when she doesnt get a reply, she asks if they like sports. 46 tells her they like to watch sports, but not play them. and that they like to stay inside. the therapist then reluctantly tells 46 that their previous therapists have gone missing. except one who was found dead, and they said her body looked to be mangled by machinery. the therapist also comments that 46 doesn't look concerned about it. she jokes about watching her back, which 46 finds funny.

Tape 14:

same therapist as 13. she asks if 46 knows about the pizzaplex, and says the technicians who work there know them. theyve seen what they think is 46 on the security cameras. they say 46 was accused of hacking their systems. the therapist says that the hacks are causing tons of problems, but that there's no solid proof it was 46, and 46 finds it funny that the techs are having issues. she says she finds it weird that 46 would spend time in such a busy, crowded place despite their loner attitude. she asks if its the electronics that 46 likes. she also says theyve designed programs that talk to them and repeat phrases. she says it asks them questions and prompts for responses, like their own little therapist. she said at first she had thought they were talking to themself, but it seems more like they were talking to someone else. she asks who it was.

Tape 15:

same therapist as 13+14. she starts with asking if 46 wants to do an ink blot test. she shows them an image, and 46 asks to hold it. 46 says it reminds them of a mask. the therapist asks if 46 likes the idea of being disguised, and how they make you invisible. she says being invisible lets you get away with anything, and asks 46 if they like that idea. she then moves on to something else, telling 46 that it seems theyve been talking to someone else. she says the techs think that its someone trying to lure 46 away, or manipulate them. the therapist moves to where she can see 46's eyes, and says she got something different from the communications. she accuses 46 of manipulating someone, rather than being manipulated. she says they were recorded on the security cameras with someone else. she says that it looks like the person theyre with has rabbit ears, which 46 finds amusing.

Tape 16:

Same therapist as 13+14+15. she says shes gotten another message from the pizzaplex that says that theres a glitch in the system that makes the animatronics more eerie than entertaining. she says the glitch spread system-wide and infected all the machines. she also says it was traced back to 46. she says the glitch broadcasted a dangerous message. she also says that when the techs were trying to fix it, the source shifted. she says that the glitch changed from a glitch and became a set of sub-routines that were made to do exactly what the glitch was doing. (which basically means it stopped just being a glitch and became part of the system?? i think?? idk shit abt computers bruh) when 46 does not reply, she presses, saying she is on their side and wont tell anyone what is told to her during the session and that the techs have no proof it was 46, so theyre not in trouble. when 46 doesnt reply still, she brings up their past. 46 refuses to look at her, but she continues. she says it doesnt matter if they look at the floor, because nothing they told her about their parents was true. she says they had great parents, and a great childhood. she asks 46 why they lied, and tells them to look at her. she then says she understands why 46 would be upset about the confrontation, and says they can come back to this another day. the last line she says is "you're shaking your head like that's not going to happen."

UHM YEAH IM NORMAL ABOUT THEM LOL.

i have a lot of thoughts on both of these parts and i personally believe 46 is Gregory. but if i dumped all my thoughts we'd be here all day so have this long ass explanation instead

#fnaf #ggy #patient 46 #dr. rabbit #fnaf security breach #tony becker #TZU rambles #a lot #TZU asks

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hirokiyuu · 1 year ago

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ok i did a huge ship meme for fun. if you read it u have to like this post. also i have more thoughts under the cut

some of these are copy pasted from twt so if u saw it there u can read them again i guess. theres some new ones also. perish by my hand

at a glance

yuujin calls leona "leona-san" until theyre both old n gray. they probably try "leona" a few times but it feels weird to them. leona's fine w/this

love languages are what they prefer to receive rather than what they naturally give wwww if it were that way around id switch it LOL. high natural compatability

"problematic a bit" in the sense of. well. if youve played twst. youve met leona. u see how he acts around mc at first. u kno.

dynamic stuff

i dont think leona would've had a Relationship relationship before. fwb? fucking around w/ppl? sure. but a Relationship? sounds like too much work

yuujin meanwhile had World's Shittiest Not Boyfriend before isekai'ing. mostly fwb but yuujin did have feelings and also he was the only person yuujin was ever like. emotionally close to beyond their sister. so

? on caretaker for leona bc its definitely not Traditional Caretaking but he does put in the work to help yuuin in ways they do really need. still.

? for yuujin mostly bc if they had to do more caretaking like they did for their sibs theyd die but also they do help leona how they cna. u kno how it is

re:attachment, theyre both independent but yuujin is more likely to pull Away if shit happens while leona is more likely to get territorial (lol) this is probably the only thing that ever causes any real fights

idk if i'd call it "wants to Corrupt yuujin" but leona definitely does sometimes wish they were less of a good person. not always. but sometimes.

nsfw stuff

being used is situational for yuujin bc when theyre into it theyre Really Into It but theres also a chance itll trigger them really badly. u kno how it is

my pillow princess leona agenda strikes again

i htink leona is in theory fairly ambivalent abt topping/bottoming but in practice if he tops he's expected to do more work. so.

theyre both shameless during sex but occasionally yuujin will remember they have Feelings for this guy and this guy has Feelings for them and they'll get flustered. they can nad will talk abt sticking their tongue up this man's ass w/o batting an eye but the moment anything abt Liking each other comes up? they get a little shy LMAO

the sex is pretty good for both of htem but again. leona is lazy. yuujin is hte one doing all the work.

particulars

re:things to change, if leona were a more classically Good Boyfriend (ie more demonstrative, trying harder, more obvious w/his feelings etc) yuujin would absolutely run. so. leona's personality is a good (?) thing

engagement

(looks at the checklist) (points at leona) Go King Give Us Nothing!

the one abt killing the other is v like. dependent on timeline i think. leona might be more willing at first but over time i dont think hed be able to.

yuujin is technically the pursuer in their rship at first but leona definitely catches the Big feelings before yuujin does. lmao. eat shit loser

tbh their communication style from the outside probably looks pretty callous. a lot of talking Around things and giving each other shit to hide the fact they both Hate talking straightforwardly in some respects. the kind of couple that never ever once say 'i love you' to the other even tho they're both aware they do (eventually)

they touch a lot, in terms of pda they're not obnoxious but usually leona will have a hand on yuujin's back or yuujin will be on his arm or w/e. leona generally initiates if theyre out in public but yuujin doesnt mind they just dont start it usually wwwwww

re:expectations, i actually dont think leona expects too much from Yuujin Specifically, just in general. but also. in some ways i dont think he believes he'll get it. if that makes sense

OK THAT WAS REALLY REALLY LONG if u read this whole thing thank u tell me if u like them. i am rotating them constantly

#yuujin stuff #how do you art #my embarrasing oc/canon ship i would die for

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auspex · 2 years ago

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drunk rambling about mark and sampson below

their dynamicmakes me insane i need content for them SO BAD. sampson said and i quote that he thinks there was something real at thebeginning of their relationship BUT NEITHER OF HTEM CAN TELL (BECAUSE SAMPSON CANT REMEMBER) WHEN HE GOT BLOOD BONDED TO THAT SUTPID FUCKING THINBLOOD ABUSER ASSHOLE FUCK and sampson started spying on mark and MARK FORGAVE HIM SO FAST FOR CHEATING ITS INSANE because he felt SO BAD about the whole thing and felt like it was his fault evne if rationally he KNEW it isnt his fault he got targeted but BECAUSE OF THE DAMN BLOOD BOND TO JULIUS (HIS SIRE) he cant blame HIM for it so who else is left ? that dam nthinblood? well he got killed so who is left? HIMSELF so Mark wants the world of sampson but is SO SCARED sampson is gonna resent him once HIS blood bond to mark wears off and is also SO SCARED that the blood bond wearing off is gonna fuck him over but ALSO caNNOT bring himself to force sampson to be blood bonded agian because of all of SAMPSONS TRAMUA but anyway is SO WORRIED about corssing boundaires cause hes so worried sampson nly stayed with him cause he was forced to to spy that he wont call sampson Sammy aymore which he used to. its a whole thing. god. god god god . i dont know if sampson loves him anymoire but if he does im going insane. he wont say it. prob due to being worried but like. holy shit. i need a happy ending for sampson so bad idc if he gets back w mark or not but he needs to be happy. mark is trying so hard to make sampson hapy but sammy has SOOOOOO MUCH TRAUMA and its HORRIBLE what happened to him and the camarilla is so fucked.

and mark is just some guy who didnt ask for ANY OF THIS and he JUST WANTED TENURE and to find LOVE in a HOMPPHOBIC SOCIETY but now the MAN WHO LOVES IS AT RISK FOR JUST BEING ASSOCIATED W HIM AND HES NOT EVEN SURE IF HE LOVES HIM ROMANTICALLY OR NOT ANYMORE BUT HE IS SURE HE LOVES HIM. and hes gonna do his damndest to make everything work out but he knows hes fucked. but fuck. he just wants sammy to be happy man but is too scared to share in that happieness. and he refuses to believe sampson still loves him until he says it. it hurts him so bad that probably the last 2 years of their relationship are a lie. he feels like a fool. so he jsut focuses on all the shit in his life right now cause theres a FUCKING LOT OF IT to resolve but once he resolves it. hes gonna have to confront that hes horribly lonely. so horribly lonely. who does he have left? he cant tell anyone everything

except

for julius who he loves because of the blood bond; julius chose him. hes spcial. julius is so amazing and powerful and handosme nad perfect. but hes evil. on some deep deep level mark knows this. but hes blood bound. hes trapped. he loves him. he can Tell Julius Anything. and He Should

except

in their first meeting he said "you can have many sammys" flippantly. he doesnt care about sampson at all. it is showing that julius does not Care about humans in the same way. the phrase HAUNTS mark. its SO FUCKED UP. how could he love someone who says this ? You cant just replace people like that.

so he doesnt fully open up to julius, due to his love for sampson, this stupid fucking bartender who flirted with him for tips.

this is massive cringe

wow. i love them.

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noro-noro-noro · 2 years ago

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oh yeah the dream i had was weird, smth like my dad remarried 2 people & then i sort of reconciled with someone i have no intention of getting along with at the mall & then there was a choose your own adventure novel

i think my dad remarried or something to another married couple. the mom was nice. the 2nd dad was weird. we had to move into their house, which was kind of like the guest room in my mom’ shouse except with like brown wood panelling & it had beams. like it was good enough. tthhe 2nd dad was an inventor of some kind? i remember weird gadgets & stuff. they also had a bunch of kids who were all fairly young, max 14. maybe 3 or 4 of them. i was thinking that i should try to make an effort if these people were supposed to be my parents too rather than treating them like strangers in my house. it’s not even my house.

scene cut. i’m at the mall. the mall also somehow feels old-fashioned & a bit different. kinda cozier tbh rather than like all the white lights & white tiles. there was brown wood panelling again. i think christmas decorations were up. i was walking with my friends from college. my worst roommate was there but we were getting along ..? he made fun of my second worst roommate & i laughed bvc i thought it was genuinely funny! & then i heard my 2nd worst roommate behind me say “that’s not funny.” she was wearing some kind of red & green christmas themed sweater, so i guess it was christmas. & i shrugged & said “i don’t really give a shit whwat you think”. she kind of followed behind me looking mad for a while & then pulled me aside in a store & i was like 🙄what & then she like pulled a jacket over my eyes or smth started fighting me. i couldn’t see but she was like trying to hold my arms down so like i ended up biting the middle of her forehead & then going for like the eyebrow muscle. i thought i cut her but i eventualyl got the jacket like off me & onto pinning her arms instead & we both just sat down. her face wasn’t bleedng, which was kind of a relief since i didn’t want her skin in my teeth.

then i apologized??? why the hell did i apologize to her. i did literally nothing wrong. she’s the one who was like “oh you broke up with your boyfriend? i’m gonna fuck him & lie about my whereabouts for 2 weeks.” idk why i apologized. maybe for biting her. anyway then she started crying & became nicer & was saying some stuff that was leading me to believe that she got dumped by my ex , which even though my stupid ass dream self apologized to her for no reason i still got excited about the concept of them breaking up because they’re both horrible people & i want them to get in a car crash & then the car explodes & then they neither of htem die but just get inflicted with crippling burns & injuries & then the car explodes again & then they’re at fault so insurance takes them fore verything they have, & their parents are so embarasse dthey don’t provide any financial support (this is my way of getting them out of this fantasy since they’re all fairly decent people. i don’t know how they raised kids so stupid).

anyway after that my ex showed up out of a fucking black hole that was tearing the mall apart but he was like in a fuckin mech suit or some shit. super powers. it wasn’t like a huge mech eh just had like his litle head on some huge body wearing some kind of superhero outfit and cape in yellow and light gray. ugly. and he was mad. he grabbed my 2nd wworst roommate & i was like “well i don’t care about that bye” & ran home to my dad & my step parents & then my ex teleported into the house. at this point it was like a paused cutscene almost - everything was still moving & the effects were looping but there were like 5 or 6 different options i could do. one of them had the stepmom do some kind of thunder cross split attack that blew him up. good end ^_^ but it wasnt’ the true ending so it looped back to the cutscene.

there was one option that like blew the house away down some kind of hyperspace tunnle but the stepdad was there with his inventions. idk

#dreams

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skinnyravs · 5 months ago

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Being mis-understood.

Do you ever get the feeling that people just Mis Understand you?

Like, you make a joke and they give you that vibe like: man you are an idiot. Or the times when you say something, and the reaction you get is someone if offended.

Well; I can tel you this happens to me. A lot. Why? I have no clue. I wonder if it has something to do with the different era I grew up in, or just the type of people i used to interact with that are either similar to me or different. But their different still made it easier to mingle.

I know, that I am not the most social person, ever. Like it is a struggle. I am just naturally very shy, very timied and very sometimes I guess you can cal it...off?

I have always seen myself as the silent, observant type that takes it all in and makes up her own mind. Yes sure I may judge but that's because I can only go off what I see. me and talking and being social is not a thing. So its quite a crappy thing that other poeple can do that easily and I'm stuck in the whole eh i dont wanna be social at all. Perhaps this is a bad thing but maybe it isn't.

Not everyone is going to be the social type. Some of us, like me just wanna do stuff and not talk to much and enjoy. Maybe that is why i seem like such a recluse or perhaps come off as being a little arrogant. Trust me, it is not on purpose. I reckon it is simply a personality trait.

Another thing I make very clear ot people is that, I am not going withstand bullshit. From anyone. There was a time, growing up I just ignored shit be it in school and even sometimes work. I would just be like eh whatever. But over the years I could see that a lot of people took advantage of that and I jsut had enough. Eventually, when you work in a medical feidl you come across some ass holes,a nd there are two things happen. - Either stand up for yourself or - let them continue to talk down to you.

Eventually i wasn't having that ad I started to bite back. Sometimes maybe more then I could chew, but I certainly think that was a big thing for me. I didn't want to take a back seat. Sometimes, I think I had always been wanting to just tell people where to go.

My family's history (and it is not a nice one by the way) is what also led me to just be a total bitch sometimes. And if you knew the whole story you might get an idea why sometimes I am.

It is fair to say I am a big believer in standing up and saying what I think. I can be wrong or right it doesn't matter if you are wrong. Sure, the flip side of it, is if you don't like something don't say it. I do also believe that too. But there will be certain situations where; you know what, say it don't hold back. LOL, funny how that is the title of the whole blog as a whole. DON't HOLD BACK. And I mean that.

Just because I ask someone not to do something should not be immediately taken as: Oh she is trying to control me.If I am telling you I do not like what you are doing its because I don't like it and think its inappropriate. How that can be seen as control .makes no sense. There is quite a big difference between: Please don't do this I don't appreciate it. isn't that being polite and not control?

I'm finding this hard to explain; but recent events came up and I have asked for stuff to be stopped. I jsut don't like it and yet it is still being down. For me it is like a total lack of respect for a request. Apparently Im not allowed to do that, because people are saying I'm being rude, controlling and giving htem order. haha...um...what?

If someone came up to me and said: Don't write this and post is. I will ask why amd if they gave me a good reason Id be like: ook i understand your view here but please understand that this needs to be said. And they can either go: oh all right that's ok you explained it that's if ein. Or they could be a total ass hole and say: your an idiot just shut up and move on.

I'm so tired, of everything I say, or do is always being taken the wrong way. Makes me sad that I can never truely be myself anymore and this it just leads to a lot of frustration, anger and disappointment. I, just wanna be able to be myself again. Like I used to be. I lost that along th way because nobody seems to try and understand my point of view anymore. Yet i seem to be the only one trying to work shit out.

It sucks.

#angry #opinion #misunderstood #emotional

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the-firebird69 · 1 year ago

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only lnatics think i woud work for free. ok. and these think i m not working yeah. and no they threatne for all they say. and it is a lot of them. saying no today. we say no to them pull thier cards take their money and yenk them out. of here this is sick shit and they are mean losers. we use it now. we hold them hostage take their stuff.

and tommy f too

they want inventinos and cannot get any. at all. ad tons say it did it at work and when ok. and or well. not in cali at all. was a mess there. tons say this too macs ahd it happen...

but we know it is not true and it is both now they say no. we h it htem all they are nuts. losrs.

some want to cant. it is a pandemic. tons say no are nuts. we use it. this is a shithole already. ok. we know why they say no the empire will get it no. are nuts. ok. we say this to them he is not desperate for you. doesnt care due to your act. most morlock suck so bad he wants to kill them himself. and dan and trump think the y can extot weapons out of him it is nonsense and we stop them now

we use this now. we see ok

the parks empty of their stuff fast. and teh tie was broken by bugs. they go to war and die fighting the traps they set. and are rude losers. 65% emptied. haulted. bugs hit kill most of turmps from the first round second round went in. they die. and now gloaballly the bugs flew to warn the others. and it is on they say you fumigate us we kill you. and they are at it broke through kill them. now.

and it is on the bugs say humanity will fall. and they say we are huge dont yuo see. and oh ships. ok. are up there where are you. and we see. and they say this the aholes here must die and they hate them and eat them all. and it is easy. they see why.

and it is on the blow through the morlock now. fast. tons of them dead. and are at it now. and the message out. humanity hates these idiots.

trump sent in the second wave. and it is beaten down and halved already. h e shrinks. the bugs are torrential and horror. ate up his men and women fast. all dead. it is around 1% of the general popoulace and near 20% of his. yes of island. but new zealand has tons there. are up shortly. will ruin htem devour them all. tonss say it we suck. need fre and such. move it out and use it now shortly. nuke em and try. soon. they will stop it can. use the etenae. shorlty too.

other bugs are alerted we are up. the water bugs are out shortly. tons too and at it. in ga and some iin fl most dead. and out and this month. tons will leaee to take ships all over eartha from here too. it is on. ok. trump will lose fast now. his are at it. others were hitting now bugs ruin him. his idea and plan tool. and he sinks back in his chair in court b lows into the mic and says i have had enough. enough. will leave shortly. but is required to answer all the prosecutors questions. fully too. or be held liable emaning a new investigation is lanched even answered it may happen. he smirks. and laughs. he idd it no i did. he hears our son the fag deserves it stares now at him. engeron says it out of my face and transformers and this is it your done he stares. and the judge orders him not to shortly......both are angry. and firey. and transformers at the parks ad cities yes. and uppermidwest. trump is disgusted. ad hits the table a bit. and then this. do notdo that in my courtroom..ok i wont. he says. and then this. dont do what. well no. ont yet. and they are mean ppl. say it. what the hell do you want paul a gift and they say it in hush tones. he then hits the gavel. out soon no. and he yells it no is sad then this. you fd me up garth i f you u p. and up he is no. sits starting. silent. waiting no. he is asked a question glares at teh attorney. fires off another and then says could you repeat that. a nd ok your dumb.....ne more time. and then this i dont know. and ok. fires off a few more. nope. they are red faced no. then he sees it....this is the question answers it then the next and more. and then ok what about this and more. tons of questionosc coming

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

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m0ther-of-p3arl · 1 year ago

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alright man.... alright... you asked for it!!! here is literally everything in my entire brain right now (hope i'm not oversharing or anything lol, just following the prompt :3c)

I am ranking fanfiction! it's very fun. i'm using a whole rainbow of colors, because it reminds me of a tierlist and tierlists are fun as fuck. there's something nice about systematically putting things into little boxes, you know? it soothes my mind. the monotony of it, but also, i get to go back and reminisce about everything i've written.

i'm going to a lovejoy concert the day after tomorrow, which i'm super hyped about. It's going to be my very first live music experience, so i'm really really excited about that. i'm especially excited to see ash kabosu because i think he's cool as fuck

my chosen brother who lives in australia thinks i might have adhd and/or autism (he has both), and he has for over half a year now. i don't know how to feel about it because i don't want to be insensitive or self-diagnose or anything. he thinks i should tell my parents or therapist about it, but i just don't know how to bring it up because anxiety fucks me over all the time

my room is a fucking mess and i like it that way, because it feels homely. my mom wants me to clean it, though. she likes things neat but i don't want to clean it because it's MY room and i like it when there are clothes all over the floor and charging cables littering the grounds. it makes for a better writing environment.

i really like to write, did you know that?? writing and playing guitar are the two most important thigns ever actually. i started playing guitar a few months ago and fell in love.

i should put more stuff up on my walls, my room feels empty. lots of places feel empty, though. you know school classrooms? and all the shit they put on the walls? all the motivational posters and word-definition posters and stuff? it just feels so fake. it gives me the ick. so does sitting at tables/desks, i pretty much exclusively sit on the floor and idk if that's normal but like. i just prefer to sit on the linoleum fucking floor without any cushioning or anyting, if there's carpet then i won't sit on the floor.

there's a mirror hanging from my door that's stained with blood because one time i had a bloody nose and accidentally wiped some on there. it's all gross and brown now. i can't be bothered to clean it up, call me disgusting, but i just do not have the energy man. there's a harry potter book sitting on my floor. i should burn it

i got to stay home from school today and watch owengejuicetv live!! two streams in a row, which absolutely never happens. it was super fun to actually be a part of chat. i still like watching vods, though. i know a lot of people dislike them, but they're really not that much different. the only thing i absolutely cannot vodwatch is mcc. idk why lol

my dad is such a lovely lovely man

whenever i type "lovely" i automatically almost type "lovejoy" it's because im a nerd for this band and my fingers have muscle memory apparently. when i handwrite, i write with my whole fist. i death grip that motherfucker of a writing utensil.

sweaters are nice and underrated, but i still like hoodies more because the hood is the best thing. sometimes my friends call me emo. then i punch htem in the arm and we laugh at each other.

my walls are this gross banana-yellow color and i wish they weren't

ALRIGHT THAT"S IT THATS ALL YOU GET. hope you enjoy this screenshot of my brain (literally this is my brain all the time ever i jump from one subject to the next CONSTANTLY omg.) i hope this was some help?? hopefully?? idk i just kinda rambled but

o7 to the void it goes

(good luck finding lyrics!!!! we're rooting for ya :D

I SUMMON THY MOOTS

please....just shit out ALL of your thoughts to me. i wanna make a pogger guitar song but im shit out of luck with lyrics. This literally requires everyone i know to help me.

MSR fucked my brain. trust me, ANYTHING YOU WANT GOES, i get ideas from the craziest of places. tell me what you ate for dinner, a heartbreak or relationship, your theories about aliens. like i said, anything goes.

even people i dont tag feel free to join...

@19-cats-in-a-trenchcoat @wiblursaystuff @zubinflower69 @thinkingaboutctommy @gay-mooshrooms @paldeanbooper @thetiredyuk @temporaltourguide @duckwithacapitald @strangleetomz @felixisfruity @paradox-hq @fraudfrogz

@wormsinsdirt @tntduowo @ender-outlaw @demon-and-genshin-men-slvt @ace-the-internet-ruined-me @yes-i-think-ranboo-is-beautiful @vibestillaxxx

@asinglepackofwelches @dead--hate-deactivated20231004 @salineroses @redak-tedalt @awokenbydreams @localinsaneman @theverywest @coffeeflavored-tears @rottinnymph @1tzzbr1ght @call-me-frosting-or-not-idc @joethebeau @goosebeing @mayhem-moth @agentldiddy @unkn0wn-nys @a-random-mooshroom @sadgayenbyfrog @dicklessswonder

@unfairtradeyward @whaaaaaaaalllle6 @portalkittysilly @m0ther-of-p3arl @sunshinetrinket @dzikiemaliny @thefairfeline @ranboosoot @aparanoidcryptid @jinx---blackout---84 @shortgaything @sleepy-cat-maniac @particle70 @when-you-cant-think-of-anything @gguapoduo @ezra-767 @officialsoupstore @nictophobia @dumbartist101 @alex-your-local-genshin-player @emi-writings @genlossicle

@catboy-quackity @theborblord @skretri @klownxd @ink-n-stuff @wtfables @bastianfruit @elmarcyarka @g1gglee-rxccoon @cromatheskeleton @kotaishere @nyx-can-draw @wilbyscoot @sootings-fag

@butter-goat @im-an-otter-with-a-dark-side @idk-why-i-have-this @mcytiddies @cheeeseborgor @toulouseradiosilence @skellyrrosedesigns @glowinggayduo @beef-fajitas @shr00marts @quinnsstars @haunted-headset

plz help ;-;

#felix and his rants #brain dump #tooootal brain dump lmao #lovejoy #owen

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peninkwrites · 3 years ago

Text

the dead don't dream - ch 25 of ?

Tommy does some reading and writing. Quackity and Tubbo don't talk politics.

(CW: blood and horror and mild self harm)

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 24

Ch 26

The Good

-I’m eating again. I tried carrots again the other day wasnt sick.

-People want to protect me. They all awnt to try. and the stasis chambers in the basement make me feel better. A lot of people offered to have one set up. Sapnap, Puffy, Sam, Techno, Phil, Tubbo, Ranboo, Bad, Ant, Quackity, Eret. Just about evryone. It’s setup so i can press 1 button they all come. Feels weird cause Dream was gonna keep me using one adn now this keeps me safe.

I think i spend too much time down there though. Im scared he’ll get me before i can get help so i needto stay near htem. Im scared to go outside alone. It’s good i can get help but it also means im stuck here. I cant leave TUbbo’s house if i want help

“That’s not the good, Tommy…” Tommy mutters, staring gloomily at the page. It’s true, though. He’s forced into an awful choice– does he want to be safe, or does he want to be free? Right now even feeling safe is a struggle. Maybe he should try looking at the bad stuff for a bit.

The Bad

-im having nightmares again. Theyr abt Wilbur agian. But not like before. It’s bad ina differnt way.

Wil keeps on beggng me to save him. When it’s just limbo thats bad but osmetimes it’s Dream and thats worse

Tommy doesn’t want to write about that, like pulling those thoughts out of his head will make them more real. He turns back to the good.

-Eret gave me sunglasses again but I was scared I was gonna lose them agian so i said no. But when Sam came to help set up the stais chambers he brought be goggles. Theyre easier to not lose becus I can jst keep them around my neck when I dont need them. Which is most of the time. I don’t really go outside much.

-Ponk also gave me a cane. I don’t like that it helps. It doesnt hurt s much and i can walk further. I havnt fallen yet since i got it but might be because im eating again too. I wanto walk like normal. Ponk thinks im right that my leg won’tg et beter because there’s nothing to heal. The nerves r damaged.

That’s drifting into the bad again. Why is it so jumbled up all the time?

-they let me move wilbur closer. I mean i didnt move him im not strong enugh but tubbo helped. He woudltn let me keep him in the house but he didnt bury him. He’s in the side of the cliff in a bunker tubbo has. Hes in glass so i can see him and know hes still there, hes there becaus

No. No, the why of it is bad. So he should put that on the bad list, right? He wants things to be simple. There’s the good and there’s the bad and if the good list is longer than the bad it means he’s getting better. Why is this so hard?

The whole reason Tommy starting doing this was because he can’t fucking think straight. First it was just the decisions that made him clam up, so he started using a book to weigh his options. Now he’s just trying to piece together whatever his life is now. He doesn’t want to think about it, about the journaling, as something he has in common with Dream, even though he’d have to admit that had something to do with it. It comes from himself first and foremost, not Dream. He’s always liked making plans and lists. Just because it was in the midst of rereading that awful book that he thought of it is irrelevant. Tommy hesitates, before turning back to the bad list.

-we put wilbur here so i can check and make sure hes still there. To make sure Dream didnt get him. I feel more sure because if Dream finds him he’ll have found me too. I have to check thouhg. After the nightmares

-in the nigtmares i dont save wil. Sometines i lose him. Sometimes i go back to dream because of him.

-adn it’s not better when im awake. Im thinking about how bad it would have been if theyd showed up even a few minutes later. I think abou it alot. and I start pulling on my hair if i think about what was gona happen if they haddnt showed up at all. Or i endup scratching the floor. Whatever makes it stop. It scares tubbo. My nails were bleeding one time when he came back.

He tries not to leave me. but he’s helping sSapnap with looking for Dream or Quackity with L’Manberg. When hes not here it’s Ranboo a lot but sometimes he forgets and shows up late. He always shows up thouh.

That’s good. That deserves to go on the good list. Tommy goes back a page.

-Tubbo tries not to leave me. Ranboo always shows up even if he forgets and is late sometimes.

-people keep checking on me. Sam comes by and says he wants to make sure the stasis chamber is right but i know it’s just because hes woried. He brought me pumpkin pie. I havent tried eating it because im worried i won’t be able to. Ponk comes too. But they have a better reason. They check how sick i am still.

Sometimes i say things and it scares people. Last time sam and ponk came over I told Sam I wanted to be like him. I thougt that was a nice thing to say. But he got all worried becus i said it all weird. Which is fair it was weird. Said I wish I could self destruct and take Dream down with me if he comes fucking near me again. Didnt mean to assume anyhting. I dont know if it even works like that. Sam dint get mad though. Just asked if he could hug me. He didnt hug me very tight thugh. Theyre all still scared of breaking me.

-my hair is short agian. It’s much bette.r Tubbo cut it. I got a littl scared becaus of the shears, but Tubbo was really nice about it. I didnt cry just then but i thought i was goign to. Not bad tears though i dont think. It was just different. Gentle stuff doesn’t feel normal. The hugs are a little less scary becuase Wilbur hugged me, but Tubo brushed knots out of my hair. He was so careufl but it wasnt because he felt bad for me. I coud tell it was different. It was kindof like it fixed something. Something i thought broke inme a long time ago. I guess it ddint feel fixed. More like it s still broken but Tubbo took care of me anyway.

Tommy pauses. He looks up at the bubbling pools of water around him. It’s a careful design. If he were to close one trap door, they all would. Tommy had pointed out Dream could use it to summon them one at a time and kill them easily, so Sam made sure it couldn’t be done one by one. It made sense, but sometimes Tommy almost wanted to use it to just bring Tubbo to him. He should talk about the bad more. Tubbo and Ranboo offer to listen.

He doesn’t want to talk about it. They already don’t look at him the same, he doesn’t want it to get worse. It’s not like there’s much worse for it to get. Tommy flips back to the bad page.

-if they hadn’t showed up right then Dream was goign to cut his name into my skin. It probly would have made a scar. I dont want to think about what else he was ginna do to me.

There he goes again. Tommy’s right hand holds a quill, his left drags against the stone floor, the pain shuddering up his arm. He should stop doing that. He doesn’t know why it’s so hard to stop. He’s eating again– why can’t the rest of it get easier too?

“Tommy! I’m back!” Tubbo’s voice echoes from up the ladder. Tubbo always announces himself. Tommy still flinches, holding his hand close to his chest, like he’s scared he’ll get in trouble for dragging his nails across the floor. He knows if anything Tubbo would just look at him, that worried gaze with a bit of rage too, but not rage towards him.

“I’m here too!” Quackity’s voice follows.

Tommy should probably go upstairs and talk to them. Tommy gathers his two books, tucking them both away in his inventory. They’re both equally unassuming. The only difference is one has his blood on the pages.

“You were down there when I left,” Tubbo almost sounds disappointed when Tommy climbs up through the trap door.

“I came back up and got food,” Tommy mutters. “Hey, Big Q.”

“Hey, Tommy! How’s… how’s it going?” Quackity’s cheerfulness seems a bit forced. Same as everyone who’s come by to visit. Their efforts to treat him like normal always ring hollow.

“Oh. You know. Just… working on getting Wilbur,” Tommy isn’t sure if he’s lying or not. He hadn’t opened Dream’s journal all day. It comes and goes. Sometimes he can’t pull himself away from the thing, and other times he almost wants to burn it.

Something in Quackity’s expression changes for a moment, before his usual grin returns too fast for Tommy to try and guess what look Quackity had given him. Quackity just pushes on. “Right. Tubbo over here has been helping me take over! It’s gonna be weird– y’know? A L’Manberg cabinet without either of you.”

“We’ll still be around, Big Q,” Tubbo shrugs. “Just got… bigger things on my mind as of late.”

“Yeah, me, right?” Tommy scoffs.

“It’s not all about you, bossman,” Tubbo teases. “Right now I’ve got important plans.”

“Do you?”

“Yep. Gonna make rabbit stew to go with the pie Sam brought us,” Tubbo nods knowingly.

“Oh, right. Very important,” Tommy rolls his eyes. “Here I am, trying to solve death, but you’ve got some soup.”

Tubbo half nods, and his smile doesn’t fade, but he doesn’t quip back to that one.

“Is that what all that’s about, Tommy?” Quackity can’t stop himself from asking.

“What?” Tommy looks puzzled.

“Like, what you’re looking for, the stuff to get Wilbur back, d’you really think you can figure out something like that?” Quackity sounds skeptical, but he also knows what it’s like to see someone obsessed with a project to get through grief. The only thing that got Tubbo to move on was, well, Tommy. So Quackity continues without reservation. “Like, aren’t you sorta worried you’re looking for something that might not even be there?”

The look Tubbo gives him is murderous.

Tommy doesn’t get angry; somehow that’s worse. He frowns, lost in thought for a moment, staring at the ground. “I know he can be brought back. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it and shit, so.” Tommy looks up at the two of them, something helpless and certain behind eyes still too grey. He shrugs, but somehow he’s smiling, even if it isn’t a happy smile. “So how can I leave him?”

The silence which follows is painful, almost unbearable. “I’m sorry, Tommy, that wasn’t– that wasn’t fair of me, man. I’m sorry,” Quackity fumbles for a reply.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, Big Q,” Tommy waves him off. “Wil was the only thing keeping me together all those months– besides Dream, of course. And– And Dream was bad,” Tommy says this like somehow despite everything he’s still trying to convince himself.

Tubbo and Quackity have no idea what to say to that.

“I’m back!” Ranboo knocks before he enters, his arrival cutting the tension like a knife.

Tommy still jumps.

Ranboo looks to each of them carefully, thinking. Tommy needs to get out more. Tubbo looks an inch away from snapping. “Shoot. I forgot– you wanted me to bring back firewood,” Ranboo sighs. “Tommy, d’you want to come help me?”

Tommy stares at him. “...Right. I’d be great at that. Lifting heavy logs, want me to swing an axe too?” He says dryly.

“Oh, well, if you don’t think you can do it…” Ranboo shrugs, turning back toward the door.

“Hold on, hold on! I didn’t say that,” Tommy pouts. “Give me a fuckin’ second to get my coat and shit…” Tommy does so, and after a moment’s hesitation, grabs the cane from beside the door. Trekking through snow tends to hurt worse. His body aches now when he gets cold.

Ranboo and Tommy leave and a tense silence follows. Tubbo returns to his kitchen, getting out ingredients loudly. Finally, the tension breaks. “You shouldn’t have said that shit, Big Q,” Tubbo is sharp, slamming a cutting board on his counter with too much ferocity.

“What, like you aren’t thinking it? That he’s gonna obsess over Wilbur instead of getting better?” Quackity shoots back. Tubbo has no reply. There’s a moment of pause. For once Quackity doesn’t want to be right. He sighs. “So, how is he? All things considered,” Quackity nods towards the front door, where Ranboo and Tommy had just disappeared.

Tubbo frowns, focused on the cutting board in front of him. “Better, I think.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” a pause, Tubbo chopping vegetables methodically. There’s an edge to his voice; that always seems to happen when he talks about Tommy now. “Not better enough.”

Quackity nods grimly. “Yeah. I mean, that makes sense.”

“Does it?” Tubbo’s voice grows high and sharp. “He doesn’t leave that fucking basement and he doesn’t stop looking at that fucking book. I– I dunno if taking him out here into the snow was a good idea, but I thought at least here he’d be safe, but he’s– He acts like he’s still a fucking prisoner! And I’m supposed to be the one making things better.”

“Come on,” Quackity shifts uncomfortably. “You can’t mean that, he’s just– He’s nervous, understandably, right–?”

Tubbo stops his chopping, his shaky hands too close to drawing blood. He turns to face Quackity sharply, a storm still brewing behind his eyes. There’s always too much stirring under the surface with Tubbo, and it always breaks free with little warning. “You wanna know what he said to me the other day, Big Q?”

Quackity stares, dread growing louder in the back of his head, but how can he not ask? “What?”

“S-So, I come home, and he hasn’t moved from that fucking basement, so I– I ask him!” Tubbo gestures aggressively towards the snowy windows. “I asked him if he’d gone outside that day, or if he’d gotten something to eat– or– or something– and h-he gives me this look, this surprised fucking look, and goes ‘oh, I forgot you’d let me leave.’ Let him?! Fucking let him?!” Tubbo laughs and it sounds almost like a threat. Tubbo wants to hurt something, but his ideal target is currently fucking MIA. “Does that sound like nerves?! Or does that sound like someone who doesn’t– who can’t–” Tubbo takes a shaky breath. He needs to stop shouting before Tommy hears him. “H-He always expects doors to be locked, okay? And that’s–” Tubbo’s voice is shaking from more than anger now. “That’s not better, Big Q.”

Quackity seems to come to some decision, nodding resolutely. “You don’t have to help me with L’Manberg stuff anymore, Tubbo. I’ve got it. Sapnap is still working his ass off trying to find Dream. You should be here, with him. I know you want to be. The rest of us… we’ll cope without you, okay?”

Tubbo scoffs. “Huh. I’m glad you think I can help him, Big Q. But I dunno how Tommy is going to get better when the very man he’s having nightmares about is still out there.”

“We’ll get him,” Quackity sounds utterly sure. “However long it takes, we’re hunting that man down and we’re tearing him apart.”

“Well, don’t be too hasty, Tommy wants him back alive,” Tubbo shivers. “For Wilbur’s sake.” He glances in the direction of the bunker. “The nightmares are still bad. I’m not as worried about him freaking out and getting himself hurt, but it’s not gone away. I know he still has them. I hear him getting up and going to the bunker.”

“Yeah,” Quackity follows his gaze, unable to hide his disgust. “It’s fucking weird how much he visits that body. We should’ve buried it.”

Tubbo, for all his own irritation, gets defensive. “It’s not like he’s hugging it. He’s just checking to make sure it’s there. It comforts him. What were we supposed to do, just say no? ‘Sorry, Tommy, you’ll just have to trust that he’s still there every time you have a nightmare’? He’d probably end up running halfway across the server in the middle of the night, alone, and that’s not an option. Nah, what’s really weird is Wilbur being the one who protected him apparently. Where did that come from? Tommy was learning to live without him before all this bullshit happened, after how he screwed us over, we all were…”

Quackity seems to find this part more reasonable than the corpse in the walls. “Hey, they were foxhole buddies. You remember what that was like, back in Manberg. We had to put up with the same shit, some of the same shit, anyway,” Quackity pauses for a moment. He fleetingly has the thought he should ask Tommy about Schlatt. If he’d seen Wilbur, then… No. Not something worth pursuing. He refuses to let it be. “And I fucked up then, too. But I mean, look at us now. I was an asshole, and now I’m your Vice President!” Quackity grins, nudging him teasingly.

“Not my VP anymore, Quackity,” Tubbo smiles cheekily. “You were a bit of an asshole.”

“Hey! I got better!” Quackity pretends to pout. The moment calms. “But, yeah, you heard him. If Wilbur was all he had to hold onto… It makes sense. Him wanting him back.”

Tubbo hums a noncommittal reply. Wilbur just feels like one more thing Tubbo needs to protect Tommy from.

“Wake up.”

There’s a white mask above him. Tommy can’t move. It’s the familiar pain of being paralyzed.

“It’s time to come home, Tommy. You’ve had your fun. Now it’s time for you to come back,” Dream ruffles his hair and there’s nothing Tommy can do to stop him.

“No– No, fuck you! S-Stay away from me!” Tommy cannot move, but he can scream.

No one comes. Not Tubbo, not Ranboo, not anyone. He doesn’t know where he is. It’s dark. It’s not Limbo, though, because Dream is here.

Dream shakes his head, tutting him. “Would you look at that. You’ve been away for, what, a few weeks and already you’ve lost your manners! I worked so hard to teach you those. I can teach you again, you know.”

Tommy is sitting up. He can’t remember moving. Dream crouches down so they’re eye to eye, or eye to mask, rather.

“I have someone who’s gonna help me with that, you know. Someone I think you really miss,” Dream’s voice rings with mocking pity.

“I’m gonna kill you– I’ll f-fucking kill you again, you bitch, don’t fucking touch him–” Tommy knows he sounds terrified.

“Tommy, please! Tommy– make him stop! P-Please do whatever he says just make him stop!” Wilbur is screaming, screaming like he’s close by. Tommy can’t see him.

“Wil?! Wil– if you can hear me–”

“Tommy, it hurts! Please, Tommy! Don’t leave me alone with him!” Wilbur is crying. Tommy always gets scared when his brother cries.

(This is wrong. It’s all wrong. Wilbur would never tell Tommy to give himself up.)

“Hear that, Tommy?” Dream whispers too close. “He wants you to come home too. You miss him, don’t you?”

(This is a nightmare. This isn’t real. So why does it still hurt?)

“Oh, I see. You don’t care,” Dream continues, scolding and cruel. “You should tell that to his face, you know. You should tell him you don’t care.”

Tommy wants to scream, but he can’t make a sound as his brother’s bloody face is dragged from the darkness. Wilbur is coughing up blood, it’s dripping from his eyes, so much blood pouring out from inside of him, a flood, the blood fresh and hot and its metallic scent far too real. He’s reaching towards him, desperate, clawing hands, and then Wilbur is on the ground. He cannot remain standing as blood pours from his ears, from his mouth, from his eyes, beading up from his very pores until he is nothing but red. Tommy still cannot move. Even as Wilbur writhes on the ground like a man possessed, and despite the blood in his mouth, Tommy can still hear him screaming–

Tommy doesn’t scream when he wakes up. Instead he feels like he’s choking. He’s tangled in the blankets, struggling to get free.

Finally he hits the cold wooden floor, gasping for breath, finally getting his bearings on reality.

He is in Tubbo’s home. He’s safe. Safe-ish.

That one was bad. Not the worst, but as far as nightmares go, far from easy. Ponk has offered potions to help Tommy sleep. He hasn’t accepted them. He’s scared he won’t be able to wake up when he needs to. It doesn’t make his nightmares any more bearable.

It takes a few more minutes for Tommy’s racing heart to slow. He stands, looking towards Tubbo’s bed on the other side of the room. He hasn’t stirred. Good. Tommy treads carefully, an act he is well practiced in, and puts on his boots. He grabs the cane from beside the wall, and after a moment of hesitation, he grabs a book he keeps tucked carefully under his mattress.

The cold air clears his head, and despite having a destination in mind, he stops to just look up. He still hasn’t gotten used to seeing the stars again. He could keep watching them. Just to be sure they were going to stay there.

No, he won’t be able to rest until he sees this through.

Tommy goes to the bunker under the hill. His left hand has his cane, which he leans more heavily on going down the steps. The bunker has two floors, Tommy can see into the lower one through the gaps in the floor. He looks down just to be sure he’s alone. Wilbur is to the right, laid gently in a gap cut into the wall just for him, a sheet of glass keeping him from the rest of the room and rot. He looks like he could be sleeping now. He's covered by the same L'Manberg flag they had buried Tommy with. Except for his face. Tommy had needed to be able to see his face.

Tommy stares at him for a moment, right hand pressed to the already smudged glass. “Hey, Wil,” he says it softly, a familiar greeting. He sighs. “You’re still here…”

He wishes that relief were enough. It’s not. Tommy doubts he’ll be able to sleep again tonight. Tommy slowly leans against the wall beside Wilbur’s tomb, sliding to the ground. He reaches for his book. It’s the one with blood on its pages.

Tommy opens it. He feels sick; not for the gore and violence lovingly described on its pages– although, that kind of horror is no stranger to him– but by just a few lines, a simple side note without flourish or fanaticism, not of any particular note to someone else, but to Tommy they’re so cruel it almost hurts.

“I’ve gotten distracted. I started running out of copies. Had to leave Tommy in lockup for a while to make more. It’s stupid. He got to rest while I did the dirty work. Maybe I’ll teach him. Enough that he can do most of it. Not like he’ll ever have the opportunity to use it.”

Maybe I’ll teach him.

Tommy had never imagined there would be a moment where he regretted the timing of his rescue. And yet, here he is. He can’t help but think: how much longer he would he have had to suffer? How much longer would he have had to put off rescue? How many days, how many deaths, how much pain, had been between Tommy and learning how to save his brother?

#dsmp fanfic #my writing #tddd #horror #as always feedback is cherished #sorry this one is a lil shorter #c!Tubbo #Tubbo #c!tommy #tommyinnit #c!quackity #quackity

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thebigqueer · 4 years ago

Text

just remembered i wanted to make a post about will solace's sexuality headcanons so nevermind i have content.

also actually this is just me projecting mostly lmao

okay his queer awakening is honestly because of naomi solace. i think she has a lot of queer artist friends around her, but also it's just a lot of hot people and will meets them every once in a while. i think that since they're older he probably feels the most attraction to them.

this kind of happens around 5th grade

he has no idea why he's feeling this way and like. quite honestly he's probably even scared by it cuz internalized homphobia yk. so he gets scared off easily by these new feelings and honestly represses them down and kinda forgets about any of it for a while because like??? honestly finding out you may be attracted to someone of your same gender is such a terrifying concept???? you've grown up in a society where it's weird to do that so like it probably has such a huge impact on him and how he feels about queerness. so in the end, he probably just tries to forget about it and move on with his life. hhahahahah no im not projecting wdym :eyes:

when he gets to camp a little bit later, he actually meets a lot more queer people and doesn't even know that!!! wow!!! here are people who have similar experiences!!! and i think after he forgot about his sexuality crisis just a year or two ago, it kind of comes back but this time he's in a much better place to consider & actually think about his sexuality cuz he has better people to be around.

then he grows a little bit and like honestly he probably had a crush on beckendorf. yes i'll give into that headcanon. this is around the time he's in 6th/7th grade and cuz he's in a better environment he probably feels a bit safer to actually start. feeling idk??

but again he's not entirely sure where this is going cuz like he's technically been attracted to guys before but like. he's never quite accepted his attraction until now, while he's truly trying to accept & learn about who he is.

he doesn't really know how he identifies at all but he knows that he's actually maybe into guys???

in 7th/8th grade, he mostly identifies as pan because i think he mostly finds everyone attractive & experiences romantic attraction to lots of people. but he's still nervous to truly admit that he's still into guys so he shies away from doing anything too Promiscuous TM unless he's with friends

i also do believe that nico was one of his crushes at an early age (but they become friends first and foremost and after BoO will only pursues him as a friend. their romantic feelings for each other develop as they know each other more but that's later)

but then!! THEN!!! i think he reaches a point in his Sexuality Crisis TM where he just. fully accepts that. omg he's into guys!! GUYS!!! HE LIKES GUYS!!! like he still likes girls but he just suddenly accepts fully that he does like guys and he's super proud of it!!!

i think it also has a lot to do with his friends and a lot of htem coming out around the same time that will is

i fully believe that he has some kinda flings as a 13/14yo (yes ik i talk a lot about keeping 13/14yos single but you see. i feel like he would date for the fun of it and not so much for the actual romance because he's already got so much in his life going on along w/ his identity crisis so he's looking for something to entertain his self-discovery, basically). but i feel like he goes to visit his mom every once in a while, so he really only has flings when he's back at his mom's house. so he gets his first partner like?? i guess summer before 9th grade?? and honestly it's not that epic it's just 3 weeks but like!! first boyfriend yoo!!

then he gets back to camp after the summer and doesn't really date?? i feel like he just. kinda cools down. and this is when he also starts to make friends with nico and he's probably looking for a break for himself

in this time where things are kinda calm now after the battle w/ Gaea, i think he kinda reflects on himself a lot and like realizes that "hmm idk i feel like i'm?? a little more into guys?? i think?? like physically & romantically & aesthetically they seem better for me?? and i feel like i see myself with a guy more than a girl?? but i wouldn't mind dating a girl??"

and i think at this point he probably just starts to identify as queer because honestly he has no idea what the fuck is going on because literally who does when it comes to identity

but after some time, even after he's started to date nico, i think he realizes that honestly?? he's probably homoflexible. like he doesn't mind dating girls but he's not as attracted to them as he is towards guys. and it's not just nico who sways his thinking - he kind of reflects on his life and thinks about how he'd much rather kiss/date/crush on guys and like girls are cool but they're not always what he's attracted to

he's still confused to this day and he usually just says he's queer but like internally he's probably thinking he's more homoflexible. he uses queer as his label though

#welcome back to me projecting <3 #most of that was just me trying to write my autobiography through will solace #will solace #will solace headcanon #rick riordan #riordanverse #riordanverse headcanon #tw internalized homphobia #tw homophobia #q slur #trials of apollo #toa #heroes of olympus #hoo #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians

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hearts401 · 11 months ago

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this is going off teen mike btw. itd be mike as a teen and greg as an adult

Well first off mike wouldn't set vanessa free. i dont think he would. simply bc he doesnt seem like that kind of guy. he'd probably feel bad if he knew she was glitchtrapped but theres no way he's playing a silly arcade game while shes hunting him. sorry vanessa. at the same time him being glitchtrapped is a whole other can of worms im too tired to get into (go to V she has the glitchtrapped mike au lmao) but also i doooont know if he'd trust freddy. i think he'd totally team up with him, but idk about TRUSTING him. he'd lie straight to freddy's face, he would tell him something like "these claws were spares" "this is a voicebox i found in the back" and he'd be way more. violent with the animatronics. idk i think hed have a no shame surrounding hurting htem. and while i do think hed eventually dig into the disappearances, it wouldnt be then. he'd come back even though freddy warned him not to because he wants to find out what happened to these people and possibly help but he cant do that if he's dead. hed start looking way closer at things during the day but he'd be so scared of going back at night. i think when he got older if he still could, he'd take up the night shift and have some interesting interactions with vanessa maybe...

As for gregory! first off greg being williams son is already smth in itself. evan wouldnt die at least. but lets say evan did die. it wouldnt be by gregorys hands but itd fuck him up still. as would the missing kids' deaths i think. THEY would be his target. william would call him to circus baby's and he'd prioritize finding out what the fuck was going on i think. and he'd probably be nicer to the funtimes i think. i doubt he'd want to shock them. also he'd fucking kill the touchpad. he'd kill it. honestly i am not sure how itd go entirely gregory is so hard for me to write for some reason but. i think he'd be cool with more vandalism and less daddy issues. his arc would center more around the children (including his siblings) than it would william like michaels did. also he'd totally do private room ending honestly. that kid will NOT be tricked. he will be dragged tho. sorry greg if you swap with mike u get scooped. thats how it went for liz and evan too. i also dont know how hed feel about lefty but i know he wouldnt like em. and i think he'd be a little iffy on following henrys instructions too (hed tase the fuck out of scraptrap tho. just repeatedly. that rabbit will be on the floor) i think in general he'd become distrustful of people trying to "lead" him (william trying to take him to cbby, cbby trying to lead him to the cooping room, henry trying to lead him to fnaf 6 ending, yk?)

okay that post really got me thinking about if greg and mike swapped places. ugh. thinking thoughts

#this doesnt get an au tag bc its just. characterization thoughts #but its interesting to think about #it might be an au later but i doubt it #tzu rambles

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murdereraisuha · 4 years ago

Text

FINAL part of chapter 5!!!

WElcome to my liveblog it is time to SCREAM

Spoilers for episodes 68-75! Warning: Some caps and swearing. Also, it’s very long since I’m not dividing it up into different posts this time.

Alright, just started episode 68, why is it playing the sad music. Oh Vil’s hurt.

Epel wants to be the center!!! :D

Okay but Vil’s saying he’s gonna be okay and htere’s no need to worry. BRO just let Epel do stuff. OH WAIT This is his chance to stand on the stage until the very end! VILLLLLLLLLLLL

Why are the other people seriously acting like everything’s normal. I know they didn’t know about the whole overblot fight but still, did NO ONE realize that they physically could not get into the stadium???

ALRIGHT IT’S SHOWTIME

LOOK AT THEM GO!!! WIAT THE SONG’S STIll ehiaTELTy

JAMIL JMAIL JAMIL JAMIL JAMIL JAMIL AJMILA JAMIL JAMIL JAMIL AJMILA JAJF KAKM<AIFLHGiteT(hy HE’S DACNIGN HEOSI DANCING I LOVE HIM OMG THE CHIBI DANCING IS SO CUTE

FULL SONG REVEAL BOYS YEAAAAAAAAA OH THIS SHIT’S FIRE

THE AUDIENCE MEMBERS ARE A MOOD

OH shit Vil just collapsed. But we did it!!

Onto episod 70! Oh the rest of the Heartslabyul boys are here

and THEM.

OMG what would chapter 5 turn out like if Floyd was in the mood for dancing when the auditions were happening and he got on the team? hglksglksd HE’S GOING TO TRY OUT NEXT YEAR?!?!

GSHSSGhsGHSK FLoyd this is why you were my favorite character at first sight

Alright, Savanaclaw boys are here now. Does it mean something that they appeared after Octavinelle rather than going in chapter order?

Ohhhh, it’s cause he knows what’s up

Sebek sounds a bit too quiet? Anyway, time for YA HOOOOOOOOOOOO

Something about this grin really disturbs me.

Oh no yahoo. Right to the voting on who wins.

Voting done. WHy is this forboding music playing. alright who wins??

1st and 2nd place 1 vote apart????? THE WINNER IS... EPISODE CHANGE AND DRUM ROLL.... ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY

EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUKC BRO RHFHHRT Excuse me???? STOP SHOWING THESE SWAVRES I DON’T CARE THEIS DON’T JSUT PLAY YAHOO OVE HTE BOYS CRYING I HATE THIS NEIGE YOU MADE KALIM AND EPEL CYR

VIL’S CRYING

WAIT WOOK. ROOKL. WAHT THE FUKC ROOK HE VOTED FOR ROYAL SWROD ACADMEY? BRO? EXCUSE ME

GEEZ ACE THAT IS SOME YELLING BUT I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY

ALRIGHT FRENCH BOY SQUARE UP IT’S TIME TO BEAT YOU UP IN A WALMART PARKING LOT LET’S GO

OKAy yeah maybe Vil doesn’t believe inh imself

did you have to make the team lose like this though to make vil beautiful

ah shit vil’s crying aGIN FUCK OFF NEIGE

OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK NEIGE YOU CAN STAY YOU ARE A SWEET BOY PLEASE BECOME FRIEND WITH VIL

FELLAS,

huh? EH?

EVEN ROOK’S SURPRISED HE FOUND OUT. HOLY SHIT WHAT ROOK’S A NEIGE STAN??? NEIGE IS SURPRISED R-SAN IS A BOY SDHFLKDGKLSDGK

THE PHOTO ALBUM??!?!?!!?!? HOLY SHIT WE ALL ASUSMED IT WAS HIS STALKING VICTIMS BUT IT WAS ALL PICTURES OF NEIGE??!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING I THOUGHT AZUL WAS THE MOST RELATABLE TO STANS FOR SIMPING OVER JAMIL BUT ROOK IS STRAIGHT UP DOING THE EQUIVALENT OF LOADING THOUSANDS OF PHOTOS OF A CHARACTER INTO YOUR PHONE TO TRY AND PULL THEM IN A GACHA

HDSFGDLHKG KALIM’S JUST CONGRATULATING ROOK

god this poor man’s privacy and life are crumbling to pieces around him

“finally, I have the upper hand over this creepy hat man”

Is he boutta do his own take on Azul’s outburst after Leona dusted his contracts?

He’s crying...

NEIGE FANCLUB “Eternal Snow’ NUMBER 0000002 ROOK HUNT?!?!??!??! HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE IS A STAN

the disappointment on his face glkglshgls

F E L L A S ,

Oh Neige wants to sing together! AWwww friendship!!! :D

Oh. Welp. Seems the audience might be thinking of another kind of ‘ship. HAFDLHKFDHALK THE AUDIENCE IS CHEERING

OH MY GOD THEY’RE ACTUALLY SINGING YA HOO

ACE’S FACE SHGLHKSGLKSDGLK DEUCE IS SO HAPPY THOUGH HSDGKSGHKDG THEY’RE SO CUTE

JAMIL SOUDNS SO DEFEATED HE’S SINGING SO SOFTLY BUT KALIM IS SO ENTHUSIATIC OH MY GOD I LOVE HTEM SO MUCH

LOOK AT THEM I LOVE THEM!!!!!

ROOK HAHAHAHAAHA

VIL’S SMILING NOW! YES! BE HAPPY! BE FRIENDS! Wait hold what what if the Pomefiore involvement/character developement in chapter 6 involves Neige too?? Please I really want to see Neige and Vil become friends

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THERE IT IS!

OH shit Vil yelling lmao

Oh crowley’s here.

IS THIS THE HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY???? HWY DOES HIS HAT LOOK LIKE A SLEEPING CAP HDGKHLKSDghldlgdKLGKHL WHY IS THAT THE FIRST THING I THINK OF NOOOO I CAN’T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY NOW

Ambrose the 63rd? Welp, that’s a name to research for later.

oh this guy’s a bit of an asshole isn’t he

Oh, this guy sensed the magic of the overblot fight/Malleus. Crowley is pretty good at deflecting suspicion.

*detective thinking pose*

OMG YEAH GRIM Honestly I keep getting Ya Hoo stuck in my head too and I hate it so much.

Oh? Time for another meeting with Mickey! Wassup you weird little mouse.

We’re taking a picture of him!

Awwww he did a little pose for us! :D

It seems like the barrier/distance between us and Mickey weakens with each meeting. The time they can meet is increasing too.

This is something like “maybe sometime we will be able to watch a movie together”. Can’t wait to see people’s takes and theories on all this new information and concerning lines of dialogue.

Are we running somewhere? Oh, Grim’s missing?!?! OH SHIT WHAT JSUT HAPPENED

A VISION OF A CARRIAGE AND OVERBLOT GRIM!!!!

WE’RE BACK TO TALKING WITH MICKEY???? HWat Okay we know Grim isn’t here but do we still know he not anywhere in the house? Is something funky going on with time? YEAH MICKEY JUST ADVISED US TO GO SEARCH FOR GRIM HE WOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT IF WE JUST RETURNED FROM SERACHING

IS THE TIME LOOP THEORY CORRECT? WHAT IS GOING ON? WE JUST RAN BACK TO THE STAGE.

GRIM OH WHAT THE FUCK THAT VOICE THOSE SOUDN

WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT THE FUKC I FEEL LIKE THIS JSUT RUTNED INTO A HOORROR GAME WHAT THE FUCVK THWAT THE FUCFK THAT CRUNCKING SOUND HWAT HTE DEEP SVOice HGelihtgliehteiothi hIHTW WAHT THE FUCK I AM SCARREdD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAA HE”S ATTAKCING US?!?! DID WE JUST BALCK OUT?

IT JUST TRANSITIONED TO IDIA’S ROOM

His presentation went well BUT WHAT ABOUT GRIM?? DON”T JUST LEAVE US ON A CLIFFHANGER

Idia got an internship invite? Multiple invites? From “that Olympus company”? Idia wants Ortho to put them all in the trash...

IT JUST ENDS THERE!!!!

Welp. So, no more Scarabia stuff. :( I was really hoping for that. Nah, we get Rook stuff then we die and then Idia is depressed. Alright whatever it’s time to wait a bit and organize my thoughts before writing a whole reflection on this part, see ya. Hope you had fun reading this!

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #update screaming

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karamazovdmitri · 4 years ago

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for the book ask: 25 ; 29 :)

wow umm embarrassing how i forgot to reply to this..... BUT better late than never?? i guess?? asjfhbhsb

25. The only book care question that actually means anything: do you write in your books? If so, in pen or in pencil?

god im SO GLAD you picked that one because i have extremely a lot of feelings about it. and my feelings are that: i LOVE books that have been obvious read, that are all worn down!! it makes me so happy and i LOVE whenever i get books from the thrift book shop and theres writing in it !!! i think that the idea that books are precious artifacts that should be kept pristine is like some old monk/scribe bs LMAO like books are mass printed nowadays its fine to write in them... i DO draw the line at old books, or like rare editions because i do think it’d be nice to keep htem as close to the original state as possible... anyway all this preambule lmao but as for me personally, i mostly use post-its, mainly bc i tend to read on the bus and stuff lmao so i dont really feel like picking up a pencil and writing down my thoughts, but yeah i put little post-its to come back to it later !! i do want to start writing in them more, especially since now w the pandemic™ and all ive been reading at home more so ! yeah !! exciting developments... also if/when i do write in books, only ever in pencil bc im afraid of the ink of pens bleeding through the pages... but ye!! you’ll always find in me a strong advocate of worn down and visibly read books. like i love the fact that my first edition of TBK is allll fucked up from carrying it everywhere with me, it makes me very happy lol

29. Your vacation reading habits

omg yo this one is tricky af because see....... my brain is stupid and it tends to make me productive when i need to avoid work LOL so i tend to start a lot of books during finals week and the such, and then whenever i get on vacation, i just want to. do nothing for a while so lets say the curve crashes down real quick BUT ! once im like. revigorated from not having work to do, i pick up books again and i do love going outside like to the park or whatever and sit down and read for a few hours, its truly therapeutic™ but yeah its extremely erratic to say the least, i always think i’ll read so much during vacations and then i dont?? its tricky...

thank you so much for the asks omg those were great... and also sorry i took literally forever to reply, im truly Embarrassed... sajfaskfbhasf

#asks #roublardise #but YEAH!!!#also if anyone still wants to send in some Qs be it from the post or. just to talk #hmu anytime its great its fun #tho it might take 10000 business days for me to reply sorry #xz

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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i have a lot to say about mr queen but idk how to say it so ill just collect what i did say (ammmz)

wrote this somewhere else in response to someone but:

i think the writers backed themselves into a corner here. your comment got cut off and hopefully you can finish the thought later (if you so choose.) i agree with everything you said!

i see some issues in the way the story is received now that it’s ended.

1. interpreting this as a gay story in the literal sense 2. discarding SO YONG’s self and her womanhood which is integral to the story / discarding anyones womanhood and/or precarious situations (IE being poor, being a gisaeng, etc) 3. gender confusion in the end

my issue in the plainest terms is that, in the original, we get a happy ending in the most clear cut sense. SY goes to the present, BH stays in the past. i say they could have gone further and just made them have souls projected or some shit with SoBong mix in the past, and SY alive as BH in the present (however she sees fit to live this life.) this is interesting because so yong is living as a man in SK. a man who (pre accident and post accident is a hero) had money, was a cis man in 2021 SK, worked at the blue house, and, like all men, didnt have the respecting woman juice bug.

it would be cool to see how SY could have lived in the present as a cis man (on the outside.) how she would choose to live going forward is up to her; would she keep her appearance? would she have ease as BH the way BH did for her? could they still have the ideas of the mind and know themselves in the body? since, essentially, So Bong is that idea. and this is all philosophical too like literally ONTOLOGY! the show delves into philosophers and thinkers so it could have done this from a philsophical standpoint (and hello! they seem to be on a kick these days post-stranger like sisyphus?!??! but you know…lol)

i wont regurgitate what you said beause you’re absolutely correct (IMO~~ not that it matters) bc the show is all about autonomy and ownerhsip and living HAPPILY especially for the people who do not get to determine that life. that is largely to say the women in this story, the women of joseon. sidenote: i do not know as much about korea and its sociopolitical history as i would like but like all movements, the labor movement (what would evovle from the peasant rev) is very very very masculine and not open to genfder and sexual minorities worldwide. isnt it interesting that such a heavy movement (starting from donghak in the show) is so so female centered? the whole show is an estrogen fest in the best way 🙂

so for people to miss that all of that IS so yong is sad. because sobong is so yong. and so yong is so bong just like bonghwan is. they chose each other. them kissing each other is a mark of a transfer of souls or some kindred spirits or something. it’s alarming that people miss the point of how crucial this selfish man going into this desperate woman’s body is. how her suicide was to save her mind but still our interpretation is that a man saved her and took over for her. as if bong hwan wasnt hugely flawed which is why he worked for so yong because she couldnt have the chance to discover that on her own because of her place. gee wouldnt it be interesting if we took away that, maybe, women have a right to exist? that maybe bong hwan was majorly flawed, narcissistic, disrespectful to WOMEN and that his life turns upside down and he learns what its like to have NOTHING for yourself. to be a woman who is told she is nothing because of her existence, because of men, because of money and power. and for BH to truly be shocked at how horrifically she was treated.

this is why i go so far as to say that CJ with all versions of queen cheorin make sense. he didnt give a shit about her frailty and that is the catalyst for her realizing htat she has to rely on herslef. her suicide was her CHOICE. so what if it’s negative, unsavory, cowardly; she got to decide for once.

hwa jin’s end especially (i stopped mid ep 18!) i love. she knew she was gonna go insane and we hated her for it. but she chose HERSELF.

but this is where the writers need to explain the gender and sexuality thing comes at the fault of them and also our society~ (lol) and us as viewers. it is queerbaiting in the sense that gender is confusing or whatever and if you’re GNC or NB you (AFAIK correct me if im wrong someone) are in every sexuality. sure people may have missed that but we’re so stuck on and obsessed with BOY OR GIRL? GAY OR NOT? (i’m not saying you as a user have done this, just ing eneral) that when we fight against just going with the flow which the show does for its whole run until its final explanation hits it bits us in the ass. now the questions are: was h eboy all along? which lol

no doubt SK is conservative (and no doubt they present gender and sexuality differently as well but one thing no matter how progressive or conservative places are—and you know, most are conservative because that’s how capitalism gets us and we’re just going against the current sorry couldnt help myslef—our societal ills stay so MASCULINITY and ideas of sexuality permeate and are constant through the world. fear fo gayness, femninity, no gender, transness, whatever it is) but the questions i am asking are – why did it have to end that way? was this planned? since the source material is different. if the writers think the trajectory makes sense, why? and if not, what would they change? – what was their intention?

from a technical standpoint, i think the ending does not support hwat the show has shown. just in literal set up and execution. that is a minute problem though in the grand scehme of things. in terms of story, what does this mean for BH and SY and CJ? why wouldnt he notice her? but i can pretend all of that doesnt exist and handwave and pretend it is so bong and CJ (which it is, until the end.) what is so hard to have So Bong exist? what doesnt make sense about that in a fantasy? why this ending?

i’d like to know if it was fear or if they couldnt accept that ending. it’s possible and that makes it unacceptable. or did it just not make sense to them? or it owuldnt to the viewers? in which case: jesus christ who cares. the show does a good job of propelling itself but it seems the gender question is just too fucking pressing that it put itself into its own corner. which you know fair enough. it manages to sustain itself even with that blunder but it’s like why and now why does it seem that the point of all that is missing. what could they have done differently to drive this point home? and really what can we all learn from it?

as a cis person this has taught me a lot oabout gender and my thoughts. i am inclined to this type of thought naturally and admittedly i do want to be a pretentious artist dumb bitch social justice warrior 😛 but even with all the things i know, the things i’ve done, when it comes to radical shit i’m still learning SO MUCH. there’s so much history i dont know, so many prejudices i still habor even if i fight against htem an know theyre wrong, privileges i have. this is why media IS important (and why i hate capitalism) bc even me at 29, even me the girl involved in a solidarity union and a resurgence of the black panthers doesnt know shit, hasnt experienced shit, grew up in a shit system too with poor understanding of difference. even as i try and dismantly everything a fucking south korean drama and kurt cobain has me thinking about how absurd gender is and this is SOMETHING I KNEW. there’s so much information to take in and ways we process that information, it’s taken me years to undo the gender industrial complex, and it will continue to take me years. i am a woman and a proud one but as a cis woman i am aware of my own limitations and this world expanded it. and it makes me think harder about my status and what about femininity and womanhood in a cis lens is so important. and that blockade or erosion of that blockade via the show is something i appreciate. the show was saying go with the flow because we dont HAVE TO understand it. we dONT. it’s just gender. it means everyhting and nothing all at once. but it had to be explained so much to its own detriment when it was already saying so much of what needed ot be said. hopefully many a non cis people found it compelling (and if anyone wants to LMK what they thought of the end from any perspective but that one specifically i am interested cos yea!)

#mr. queen

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mfingenius · 6 years ago

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Headcanons for asexual Draco??

Draco’s first suspicions that he might not want sex were when he was in fourth year when Beauxbatons was there and everyone was speaking about how hot they were and he just… didn’t care much??

Then Voldemort came back and it sort of gave him a reason or an excuse to not really be interested in wanking or sex bc, well. war??

And then sixth year came and that was a complete shitshow and there is no one who could be interested in sex at a time like that, right??

Then seventh year was better, but still pretty bad, so still understandable.

Then the battle of Hogwarts happens and the war is over and he’s still not even remotely interested, but like?? a war’s just ended?? it’s understandable…

but it’s getting on his nerves so he goes to muggle clubs and makes out with blokes and it’s alright, and it all feels nice, but he doesn’t want more?? he never wants more.

So he blows some guy in the back of the club and the guy offers to do the same for him but Draco just… doesn’t want to? he feels even slightly grossed out by the idea bc like… saliva?? on his dick?? no thanks.

And he goes home and he doesn’t go clubbing again.

And it’s been a few years since the war and he has just - sort of accepted that something’s wrong with him bc he doesn’t know that asexual is even a thing

and then he begins working with granger as an unspeakable

and they become really good friends

and she sets him up with harry bc she can see they’re both lonely

ofc she doesn’t tell them that she’s setting them up, she just tells htem she wants to go out with them (separately) and then doesn’t show up so they’re alone

And it goes well

really, really well

And they start dating and everything’s good and Draco likes Harry in a way he hasn’t liked anyone before

And he’s getting increasingly frustrated bc he thought maybe it would be different with someone he loved but it isn’t

And one night he gets like super drunk and talks to Hermione about it

and he’s feeling super guilty and all that shit

and she just tells him

‘Draco, you could be ace’

and he asks what that is

and she explains it all

and so there’s silence for a bit and then it’s just

‘so… i’m not broken?’

and hermione reassures him that no, you’re not broken, you’re fine, and he cries bc he’s so fucking relieved

and so the next day he talks to Harry about it and he tells him that it’s alright if he wants to break up bc he didn’t know before

but Harry just tells him that he doesn’t want to break up

and that sure, he likes sex, but it’s not like he needs it

And at first Draco doesn’t completely believe him, but then time passes and it’s been two, four, six months, a year, and they still don’t break up and then Harry proposes and draco says yes

and they get married

and they spend their honeymoon sightseeing and cuddling in bed and doing everything they ever wanted and draco’s happy

and they spend the rest of their lives together in a very happy ending thanks

----------------------------------------------

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#drarry #headcanon #mine

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99centthoughts · 5 years ago

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i keep reading 'orion' as 'onion' so thats. who they are to me now

ONION……………………….. now im picturing orion as onion from steven universe and i am very stressed out by the thought

MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT!!! (a lot of asks im sorry)

1) D..DONT DIE YET ANON……….. SOON!!! I have a break coming up and i wanna do more comics stuff 😭

2) LOL omg IM SORRY !!!! I Messed up the layout a couple of times while editing it so it must have been weird 😨

1) Hiya! Honestly I think it would be best to get comfortable with more realistic proportions before you branch out into cartoon/anime style! I did it the other way round and I regret it a lot, bc I think it made my foundations really shaky and inconsistent. THAT’S NOT TO SAY u have to master the traditional art style before u start drawing any cartoons though!! I think it’s fine to do them together, just don’t neglect traditional anatomy and all that, bc it will help you a lot in the future regardless of the style you eventually choose to stick to!

2) LKMKLDS ANON STOP NOW IM GOING TO THINK OF THE STORE WHENEVER I THINK OF JC ………… he would be Mr penney???? MR..PENNEY..

thank YOU for enjoying my drawings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh thank you so much for such a sweet message oh gosh ANON YOU’RE MAKING MY HEART GROW 3 SIZES!!! Messages like this make me want to share everything with everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M HONESTLY SO HAPPY that my silly little tips and stuff can make drawing fun for you BC THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN HAVING FUN WHILE DRAWING!!! MAY YOU INSPIRE LOTS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE and most importantly I hope you always find joy in your own art!!!! THIS MESSAGE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND YOU DO TOO ILU ANON!!! IM GONNA KEEP THIS FOREVER

1) A NERD AND A PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) omg I have thought about basically every combination o f my ocs at least once anon lKMDLskdlj they would be cute!!!!!!! and a very calm couple… I feel like emmett would be patient enough to handle fay though it would take a lot to get there bc rn emmett is low key terrified of fay LOL

1) IM NOT SURE U WOULD WANT TO MARRY THEM ¾ OF THEM ARE A MESS!!!!!!!

2) OH I googled around a bit bc tbh I have no idea what they are called too, and I think it’s called the terminator/ half tone?? it’s basically the bit of colour between the light and the core shadow (the darkest part of where the shadow starts)

THe coloured outline of shadows that alot of artists do is an exaggeration of how it looks in rl but it is pretty neat bc it makes the object look like it’s glowing haha

1) AW THANK YOU ANON!!!!!!!!! it’s so sweet that you’ve stuck around for so long and that you take the time to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE I’LL KEEP DRAWING AND MAKING ART THAT YOU ENJOY FOR YEARS TO COME!!!!

2) OH no that plant is a random plant that I made up hahhaaa

1) HELLO AGAIN AND thank you ahhh it means a lot to me that you take the time to interpret and think about my art in such a thoughtful manner😭😭😭 It’s really sweet and it makes me look at my art in a different way? I was thinking that the redrawn version seems more stiff and I wasn’t sure if I liked them more than the old ones, but after seeing this message I was like ohhh that is true I did try different things with the new versions and that is something I should appreciate and be proud of !! so thank YOU for the lovely words, it is my absolute pleasure to share my art with u!!

2) HE IS YOURS PLEASE TAKE CARE OF THIS WHIRLWIND

1) I like using poses from magazines to study anatomy!! I either follow blogs that post magazine scans or I buy them myself when i can! Another thing I’ve found rly helpful was using fitness books/ videos as references… like those for muscle-building/ weight lifters, where there are diagrams of which muscles are working for a specific exercise. YOUTUBE has a lot of fitness videos, just type xxx workout, pause the video at any random frame, and u should be able to get a nice reference to study muscles with!! If u want references for the muscles themselves, some good books I’ve found helpful are: Strength training Anatomy and Anatomy for sculptors (I can give them to you off anon if you’d like)!

2) I HOPE YOU ARE enjoying the brushes !!! NO WORRIES AT ALL I’m happy to share my brushes with anyone who might want to try using htem!! SENDS YOU ALL OF MY LOVE BACK I HOPE YOU ARE ALWAYS HAPPY AND INSPIRED ❤❤

1) omg this is so hard bc there are 213213 options and I could picture them as more than 1 type of fantasy creature tbh ……… BUT FIRST ONES THAT COME TO MIND WOULD BE : some kind faerie for fay haha, werewolf for tyler, centaur for emmett, vampire for jc, some kinda elemental spirit for cyrus, an orc for wade, and UHH some kind of wise gate guarding creature for parisi LOL

ILY TOO AND thank YOU for loving my silly boys!!!!!!!!!

2) AHHHH thank u anon I WISH YOU ALL tHE BEST AND I HOPE YOU KEEP DRAWING AS WELL ALWAYS 💞💞💞💞

1) OR PERHAPS PARISI IS JUST ENORMOUS but also yes it’s true baby tyler is a tiny baby bean

2) LSKMDLKSM HOW CAN I NOT SAY I LOVE YOU BACK TO YOU THE SWEETEST ANON OF ALL TIME 💖💖💖💖💖

1) omg anon this is a lie I am terrible at drawing anything symmetrically and if I somehow produced anything to make u think so, it’s probably because I spent 10 hours on getting it to look ok LOL I.. TRY TO USE GUIDELINES and flip my canvas to check that things are balanced… that helps me out a lot :’D

2) thank u anon for this ask it is beautiful and I will frame it and keep it in my room to encourage myself to start drawing batfam art again

1) HEY ANON and thank u! I have a list of resources that I’ve found helpful here (at the bottom of the page) !! I hope some of that might be useful for you and feel free to drop me another msg if u need more/ want something more specific!!!!!!! ALL THE BEST

2) omg I havent replied to asks in so long that I didnt even rmb what picture this was referring to and I had to go back and look LOL HE’S TRYING HIS BEST ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE CANT HELP BEING AN AVERAGE MAN SURROUNDED BY MODELS HOW RIDICULOUS OF THEM !!!!

#thank u for ur patience i will try to be better with replying ..#ILU ALL #sometimes i wish i knew who theese anons are so that i can befriend them #kelno #Anonymous

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