#or to just simply disappear
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I'm having a BPD spike. I'm super triggered, and I really just wanna disappear, y'all.
#like#I'm fixating on the word 'hush' rn because apparently I can't keep my fucking mouth shut#my friend/manager is icing me out because I went and said some really dumb shit while venting about our control freak cult leader boss#I have this gross tendency to overshare and not keep some things to myself and it's starting to effect the people aroumd me#I don't know why I can't just shut the fuck up and keep my thoughts and feelings to myself#I feel isolated and lonely and like everyone perceives me as this impulsive self-destructive liability#I have really intense rejection sensitivity#and it feels as if my missteps are catastrophic#rationally and logically I know this is my feeble ape brain's distortion of reality#but that doesn't make me feel any less on edge#it doesn't make this feeling in my abdomen go away#the feeling that feels how gasoline smells#I just want be held and reassured#or to just simply disappear
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WHERE IS HE D:
(sorry for deleting and posting this again 🙇♂️🙇♂️ one tiny insignificant thing was bothering me and when I edited it it wouldn't show on reblogs and that kinda made me go 😠😠😠)
#HARRY NO#CROWLEY THIS ISNT FUNNY#CROWLEYYYYYYYY#this was hilarious in my head#it's even more hilarious now#don't worry Harry is safe#Crowley is just simply in the mood for giving his angel a teensy weensy heart attack#or maybe he's just processing the question#maybe he's trying to locate the rabbit by using his ✨snaky sense✨#nahhh he knows where the rabbit is he's just messing around#(he had to watch Aziraphale practice his amazing magic tricks for the entire week leading up to this)#(can you blame him for doing some ✨magic tricks✨ of his own)#(he's a fast learner okay)#(he sure can make rabbits disappear)#(THE RABBIT IS FINE I SWEAR)#(YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME)#(WHEN HAVE I EVER LIED TO YOU)#(AM I NOT TRUSTWORTHY GUYS?????)#Crowley what do you mean “blelele”#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable idiots#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#harry the rabbit
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
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Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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Who's going to write that fic where Kurogiri secretly survived and timed himself to take Tomura somewhere else so everyone would think he was dead.
And then they went for Toga, because everyone would also believe she was dead.
And years later they went for Touya after a lot of planning on how to make his dead convincing.
So now they're all living in some mountain, trying to figure out how and when to take Compress and Spinner with them.
#listen tomura's body evolved constantly and so much and Tomura could have had a recovery quirk originally according to the manga clues#what if Tomura could grow a body from a piece of his finger and what if Kurogiri could teleport into himself to make it look like he died#the ghost of Tomura that Deku saw was the real Tomura and the reason why Toga disappeared is because they took her with them#so Tomura could save her from the blood loss#but it was a while before they could recover from the damage taken#and they couldn't simply communicate with Touya or kidnap him right?#they had to find a way into the place Touya was kept in and plan things out so Touya was really about to die#it'd be a matter of faking his death by little then pretending he became dust or whatever so a body wasn't left#then rushing him to Tomura so he could start a slow healing process#Toga turning into Touya so they can take skin implants from her in his form#absolutely no one can know they're alive tho#just saying#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#league of villains#lov#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#shigaraki tomura#toga himiko#dabi#touya todoroki#toya todoroki#Kurogiri
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Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?
Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?
#tgcf#human gripes at fandom#anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer#i just absolutely hate it#why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭#especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships?#mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it#and she didn’t even give that character a name!#simply embarrassing#i could have also talked about jgy here#but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone)#so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others#but anyways#mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su#or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros#you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity?#at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright?#(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke)#i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it#that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan#the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice
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Garion who falls for a civilian, someone who simply works for one of the Corporations. someone who should mean less than nothing for her. yet somehow she finds herself head over heels, a cold, sadistic Arbiter in love. you're so kind and hardworking, and Garion can't help but approach and ask what you're doing. she's not sure how to seem anything apart from threatening, but you don't seem to mind her odd way of courting- it's much of her staring at you silently, or standing behind and watching you work. she's allowed to go anywhere, after all. she's an Arbiter.
often she appears covered in blood, satisfaction glinting in her cold eyes. each time, you fret, and each time, she merely smiles that chilling, beautiful smirk of hers and says that the blood is someone else's. it smears against your skin as she takes your hands; Garion, an Arbiter, and you, a nobody. but to her, you're everyone and everything that has ever mattered. she almost relishes your fretting, it's sweet and silly, since the blood is never hers. you can only worry for the day that it is, but for now she simply caresses your cheek and stares at you, heavy cloak draping over her body.
then, one day, Garion vanishes.
#project moon#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#she simply disappears#you're not allowed information on her missions#so it seems like she just stops visiting you one day#and you don't know why
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Also can I just say, the fact that core refresh and monster fest hit shelves around the same time is a TRAVESTY of logistical planning on Mattel's part. I know CR clawdeen and drac trickled out a bit earlier than the rest, but even still that's TEN high production value dolls all hitting the shelves within a few months of each other. So few people can afford to buy all of those! And even if they can afford it, consumption has diminishing returns. It's practically begging people to get burned out and stop caring. Which is tragic, because I think these lines are fucking awesome!
It's not just monster high honestly, it's symptomatic of the entire Overconsumption Culture we have going on right now. And it makes me sad.
#i want almost all of these dolls but i only have TWO because i simply cannot justify 250 dollars worth of dolls#and frankly it just doesnt spark as much joy to buy a ton of dolls at once than to eagerly await and slowly purchase them one at a time#im burned out man. and im sad about it.#i feel like i dont even have time to figure out which dolls i really want#because my dash is flooded with new releases every week and i never know when something is going to disappear from shelves#:(((((#sigh#monster high#dollblr#doll collector#shopping#negative#<- those last two tags are for blacklisting purposes btw#if anyone wants me to add any other tags let me know#btw i know this isnt an entirely new thing. like bratz was also releasing 5 major lines per year in its peak or whatever l#but yknow. it sucks regardless
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ghosts can't haunt ghosts silly, must be your mistakes then !
#spectragus#spectra phantom#gus grav#keith fermin#bakugan battle brawlers#bakugan new vestroia#bakugan#i frequently think about how spectra hallucinates gus when he disappears. he is NOT coping.#since gus is simply a hallucination i wanted to convey. SO many things but im not sure if i did it#is the hand on his shoulder supposed to be comforting or protective OR a constant reminder of what he's lost and what he could've had#is he holding spectra back is the smile supposed to be comforting or malicious is he resentful is he looking at us or at spectra#did he rip off the mask or is he keeping it safe or is he everything that was hiding behind it#also i was listening to curses by the crane wives the entire time i was making this. if that adds to anything.#my art baybeee#this is very messy but i needed this out of my system or i would've exploded and died#me taking spectra's 2 hallucinations and running a marathon with them#making angst abt this is so funny when we know it turns out fine in the end#ill draw something more cheerful soon dw i just love angst and im feral over these two. and i like making other people suffer#for the record all the conflicting vibes from hallucination gus are from spectra's perspective#ILL STOP RAMBLING NOW
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Are there any other wizarding families that are underexplored in canon and pique your interest in a similar way to the Blacks?
This is a unique function of what food my brain worms like to eat, but no one's doing it like the Blacks. The drama? The intrigue? The Gothic horror? The prodigal sons and lost daughters and killers and sinners and martyrs and saints? The wizard Catholicism of it all? The story of the House of Black is the best book never written.
#i do think the potters could benefit from fleshing out#like harry's got no cousins or grandparents on his dad's side and that's weird to me#because his parents were... 22? so... how early did james's parents die? and how? because they're not old enough for natural causes#though to be honest. if i could add one backstory to canon it wouldn't be the potters OR the blacks#it would be peter pettigrew and the story of his betrayal#most important decision in the whole fucking series. lynchpin of the novels' decade-spanning plot#and it's like. whoops. motivation machine broke!#WHY did he do it? we have no mcfucking clue#the potters and blacks are cool to think about but ultimately just extra dressing for the plot#understanding peter pettigrew is crucial to understanding why the novels happen and we simply don't!#EDIT: just remembered the pottermore canon that the Potters have james when they're much older and that's why they're not around#that's not satisfying to me for 2 reasons 1: wizards canonically have longer-than-normal lifespans#and 2: doesn't explain how/why the Evanses disappear after Lily's death#like I'm not saying they COULDN'T die — obviously could! my grandparents were all dead before my 20s#but that was like. cancer. and in one case aggressively accelerated liver failure#just like a throwaway line or something to clear it up would've been cool#since it's not so much a plot hole as a plot pothole#we can get over it but shit's smoother without
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Whoops, I posted the smut.
#mines monday#rated E#mind the tags#⛏️⛏️⛏️#it's fairly short for my work#Sifo-Dyas is canonically always in a big damn hurry after all#couldn't even last to the prequels am I right auhhghhh I'm the worst#i'm just kidding he does great#top sifo#don't mind me as I simply disappear from mortal existence#heat wave challenge
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i know its only been 1 month but if instead of improving/curing my pmdd, birth control just spreads the symptoms out so that i can get hit w them anytime instead of just during Hell Week, that will. not be ideal
#kcqt rambles#i KNEW my body wasnt gonna have the Expected Reaction to these meds my body doesnt have the Expected Reaction to fucking ANYTHING#like yeah sure all my symptoms have been *milder* than they got during Hell Week#but its been (checks notes) two weeks and counting since they started#two weeks of mild symptoms sucks just as much if not more than one week of severe symptoms#esp since i cant anticipate when theyre starting/stopping like i cld before#like. i knew when my cramps started id be out of commission for the next 48-ish hours#and then theyd be gone and id be (relatively) good again#but ive been getting random contractions for TWO WEEKS NOW#thank god i waited till i wasnt working to try this thats all i can say#if id tried to work thru this. well. i simply wldntve been able to#PLEASE let this just be the initial adjustment period#PLEASE let things get better as time goes on#sigh i need a separate kcqt whines tag for stuff like this#kcqt whines#there we go lol#anyway i still have Bad Brain so im gonna go disappear again goodbye
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Do you ever say something wrong and then just want to walk into the ocean and never be found again or something
#sophie speaks#i have CHRONIC foot in mouth disorder#man i just wanna disappear so bad sometimes#sometimes i do just turn into a cryptid honestly like if i have something upsetting happen#and theres no medication to make sure i cant hit myself or start ticcing in public#i will just run straight off and then do it there lol#really i just wish people would just let a girl punch herself sometimes like come on#its not that bad im in pain all the time and this stuff in comparison never ever hurts#ugh#first world problems lmfao#you know my lunch is waiting for me and id really love to eat it but alas#i simply am a coward
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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Sometimes you have sad thoughts about characters you don’t even write
#OOC / HOLLY.#MOBILE.#so. Emm and Jo had run ins over the years BUT Emm hasn’t left the Necropolis in years#and he’s clearly surprised to run into Jo during DA:TV#listen. it just made me emo to think that perhaps#Jo dying and coming back as a half-lich and truly going to ground#after all those years of cat and mouse and trying to pull her back to the light#contributed to him keeping to the Necropolis and perhaps focusing on teaching#like perhaps it just. burned him out for a while#it WOULD be emotionally and mentally and physically / magically taxing#those run ins that just keep escalating#then suddenly Jo simply disappears without a trace#and the years wear on and you have to stop or it’ll eat you alive#and you just have to hold to the hope that she’s alive and has turned over a new leaf or something#that she’s too powerful a mage to have died or fallen to a worse fate#smth like that idk I should be in bed
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hello i have updated my pinned post to include links to byan's headcanon tag, memes i've reblogged, and my open starters, as well as a link to my multimuse blog. just as a general quality of life update for the blog uvu
#now gonna go do smth similiar for my multi#and then probably disappear to play tft & dissociate again asfkjds#depression is depressioning ok i'm just trying to get some small stuff done to feel SOME sort of accomplishment#maybe i will attempt some writing later tonight but i can't say my hopes are high#simply existing is so hard and for what lmao#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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Oddly enough I think Dolos is the character I can most easily imagine like a TMA esque statement for . Even when he’s just being a silly goober and running his casino, that’s got to be terrifying right ? Like casinos are by nature places of misery, and Dolos as a character being so cheerful and uncaring while being rigs games like that is kinda scary I think .
oh absolutely. He is terrifying. The key thing I want to do with him as a character is . Still highlight that he is very very scary and does bad things from time to time . But also . He does not want to . He doesn’t enjoy hurting or tricking people and he only realistically aims to take money from people who don’t need to and when he does hurt people he’s trying to protect others. But he just cannot possibly account for everyone that would be in the crossfire with a skill that dangerous . He will get people hurt. I think he cares and it’s not like he’s numb to it . It’s just that he’s only doing his best . Which is not very good simply due to the scale of it all.
#consider if like . oulixes or zephyrus or basil had his skill#people would go missing constantly. just turn up dead or never seen again#or seemingly loose their minds and disappear#he really is doing his best out there and that’s even mores#more scary because . what if he Gave Up what if things Got Bad#we slightly see that with how he completely disregards Sisyphus#and makes Niki kill his self without the knowledge that he can be brought back#when dolos made Niki do that he didn’t know it was fixable.#he didn’t know that Phobos wouldn’t torture Sisyphus to something worse than death for fun#he had no idea but he was simply angry enough to let that happen. he isn’t angry when it turns out they’re both ‘fine’#but he’s not glad. he’d accepted either of them could die and it’s just an ‘oh okay’ when they don’t.#theproject.
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