#or to alleviate dysphoria and bring better quality of life

[falandosozin]

i have no idea if it's something on purpose or if tumblr is just being it's broken self again, but ive tried to reblog this post by @drowsyradfem like twelve times since last night and every time it gives me an error message and i cant find any reblog on my own blog so im assuming it keeps not working

so im just gonna reply here now

yeah, that's cool. let people be people! i agree 100% obviously! femininity and masculinity are both subjective and therefore mean different things to different people! true and cool! but also, some people want to medicalize themselves for whatever reason it may be. why not? let people be people, right?

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

ahhhh that’s so amazing congratulations!! i’m thinking of starting Testosterone but i don’t know how to bring it up to my therapist or doctor… or family 😭

has it helped you feel more idk you if that makes sense?

-🧸

I have never felt more like myself or more comfortable in my own body since I started testosterone. Truly, it's just made me feel like I'm finally me for the first time in my life. Like, I can just live my every day life without constantly thinking about how my voice is too high or my face is too feminine or something, now I can just live like everybody else does. Obviously I still have some dysphoria and stuff but it's been so greatly alleviated that my quality of life is just 1000% better

Tbh just look into your state's laws, assuming you're from the US. Idk how hormones work in other countries but look up the laws for your area and just have a conversation with yourself about why you wanna go on hormones. One you do, some of the changes are permanent, and it's not a decision that I made lightly. I mean, it deadass took me years to finally decide that hormones were the right choice for me. As for bringing it up, its different for everyone but I hope you have a support system around you!!

It took my family years to finally start calling me the right name and pronouns, and I fr thought it would never happen. But now, everyone calls me my name and uses they/them for me and my dad even introduced me as his kid and explained what non-binary meant to someone and it just seemed so natural for him and i almost sobbed bc a year ago that wouldn't have happened.

So basically it's gonna be scary but if you're solid with your identity and know that going on hormones is only going to help you grow into the truest version of yourself, then it'll be easier to bring it up.

Also, start small! Tell a friend or two, that's what I did at first. Telling your therapist is a great idea, they can even help you navigate these tougher conversations with family and doctors. Surround yourself with people who will support you ♡

[d-parade]

Wanting to be a man VS Being a man: The difference between transgender and transsex, and the exploration of reasons behind the modern transgender culture

(though this applies to both men and women, i talk with the perspective of trans men because)

i want to be strong. i’ve always dreamed of being strong enough to be able to knock someone out with a single punch (hypothetically). but am i currently strong? no. do i “identify” as a strong man in a weak body? no. who even defines what is considered strong? benching 10kg? or 100kg?

there’s many reasons why i would want to be strong. healthier, easier life, looks cool. but i’m able to live my life as who i am right now. it sure would be great to be strong and i’m working towards it, but if i were threatened to stop, would i suffer? no.

now, i’m a guy, a man. do i dream of wanting my physical body to match my true sex? yes. do i want to become a man? no, in a sense i already am, mentally.

so with that example in mind, let’s take a look at modern day transgenders.

there’re many reasons to want to be a different gender (gender as in whatever definition tucutes have), mostly stemming from “the grass is greener on the other side” mentality and “society”. things would be better if so and so was like this and that, and i’ll be happier, my life quality improves etc. and i don’t deny that some people will truly feel better as the “gender” they identify as. but transsex is not alleviating your feelings, it’s curing a problem.

i want to bring up a fictional example, that i think portrays well what i mean:

meet amatsuka megumi, main protagonist of a 2000s manga called Cheeky Angel. she’s an extremely beautiful girl, but wants to become a boy. in the beginning of the story, it’s said that she was originally a boy, that turned into a girl because of a demon, thus she wants to turn back again to her true self.

however, in the end, it’s revealed megumi was always a girl. the reason she made a wish to become a boy was because she hated her role as a woman. because she’s a woman, she can’t do this and that. because she’s a woman, she’s weak and can’t protect her best friend. because she’s a woman, other people get hurt protecting her. so feeling frustrated, she wishes to become a man. but the demon wants to prove to her that she as a woman, can do all of those things. so the demon manipulates her memories into thinking she was once a boy. therefore, without the constraints of her insecurity, she’s able to achieve her wishes all while being a woman.

i think this really applies in real life. megumi’s story, is a huge and possible reason as to why one might want to become another gender. because of society and it’s roles.

the reason why “dysphoria is unnecessary” is harmful is because it encourages people like this, like megumi who have deep underlying issues, to transition without trying to understand the root problem.

“it’s just a fictional story. and people in real life aren’t that stupid to call someone like her transgender.” well, if you were to go to the “amatsuka megumi” tag on tumblr, you’ll see people labelling her as a canon trans man. articles even call this an “lgbtq” series, and there’s posts online about people saying they had “gender fuckery” from reading this series. WHEN ITS NOT ABOUT BEING TRANS AT ALL.

it’s a small issue, but it really shows how twisted the idea of being “transgender” has become. it’s clear that megumi is not trans in any way shape or form. she even gets extremely upset and runs away when she finds out she was going to turn into a man. yet so many people who see this series interpret it the wrong way.

this is why “wanting to become a man”, aka what transgender is nowadays, is NOT the same as being transsex. in many cases, this desire comes from insecurity and the need to discover one’s own identity.

maybe there’s someone without dysphoria to transition and they’re happy. sure, but you’re just escaping the problem, not facing it. transition is NOT a necessity in cases like this. there’s a reason why therapy exists.

for example, a woman who is tired of being sexualised might want to become a man who wouldn’t be subjected to objectification. but she might not understand this as the reason, and due to influence, believes she’s trans. so she socially transitions, and is genuinely happy with it. i don’t deny her existence. but she is not trans. her choice to keep her female parts is a sign she will experience dysphoria as a man.

i believe this is the case for many transgenders nowadays. people might not realise it, but every word and action, including stuff like pronouns, carry an unconscious association that’s unique to each individual person. “she” might seem uncomfortable because of the negative social connotations. whereas something bizzare like “xhe” might not because it’s an entirely new word. there’s little association to it, so it feels “fresh”.

so what’s the issue here? society and ourselves. how do we solve it? by surrounding ourselves with support. why else do some transgenders feel okay with their friends using female pronouns on them, but not strangers? why are some people “genderfluid”? why are there so many “transmen” who look and act exactly like women? could it be… the unconscious associations and connotations one might have with their sex?

BUT THIS IS NOT DYSPHORIA. IT SHOULD NEVER BE CALLED DYSPHORIA.

it is the mere insecurity one has with themselves as a result of living in a society. so then what IS transsex?

the disconnect between the brain and the body that is not caused by society, but rather a fault in the creation of a human. for a transsex, no matter how much a society changes, they will encounter the same issue.

now i know it’s very hard to tell because 1. there is no scientific test to prove this yet and 2. there’s no way to take oneself out of society since birth. so even i myself cannot be 100% sure. but this is why dysphoria with the entire body is extremely important in understanding whether one is transsex. furthermore, the discomfort of even being recognised as “trans”.

because in my head, i am not. i am not “trans”. my identity is not transgender, or transsexual.

i am me. and i’m a man.