#or they go to the preschool thought of
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How most writers write redemption arcs (namely males in romance): I know he’s a murderer, a tyrant, a possible rapist, and more, but you have to understand that he was sad in the past. Therefore, I will make the protagonist a sweet, naive young thing whose purity and love make him act lovingly to her alone. And once he admits he cares about her, we’ll just forget all those nasty little things he did. At most, I'll have him do little things like not kicking a puppy to show he's "changed." And if anyone calls him out or tries to hold him accountable, I’ll have the story treat them as a villain and try to make them worse than the hero. Happy ending for the couple/family!
OR
Okay, this guy is horrible, but I like him. Therefore, I’ll make him an asshole, but I’ll play up his love for the protagonist and have him do the awful things he does for her, so it’ll all be okay. We'll just hand wave that nasty stuff that any sane person would go to an abuse hotline for.
How I write redemption arcs: Yeah, this fucker has work to do. His past will explain why he did the shit he did and will show where he needs to change and how. It will NOT be used as an excuse or justification for what he did. He will be held accountable for his actions and will have to face them head-on and realize what ass he was. HE will have to make amends. HE will have to do the work to make up for his crimes. (And I mean WORK. None of that bare minimum crap.) And no, no one will be considered an asshole for calling out the bastard for the shit he did. And the protagonist will NOT be the one solely responsible for his change. That is NOT her job, especially if she is a child. She may choose to guide him, and if he strays, she will not tolerate it or go, “Oh, poor baby’s past made him commit heinous crimes.” Nor will she go, “If I act cute, maybe he’ll love me,” as that is a horrible lesson to present about abusers. And loving just the protagonist will NOT be enough as he has to come to care for people in general. The lead will just be the first to open the door. This person WILL change and, while he may not get the fairy tale happily ever after and may even die, he will be a better person by the end.
OR
Fuck it, I like him as an amoral guy. However, I won’t waste everyone’s time pretending he’s not. His actions will be shown as heinous and that, even if he loves the protagonist, he’s not a good person. Speaking of the protagonist, if she falls into the trap of thinking she can change him by being supportive even when he’s awful without consequences I will write her as a tragic person unable to see the red flags or escape. Or I will show how her willful ignorance and unwillingness to do something is wrong. Regardless, this romance will NOT be glorified in any way.
#mine#sorry bit of a rant#don't misunderstand I LOVE redemption arcs#however I hate how most writers skip the work needed to redeem a person#or they go to the preschool thought of#Just be nice to this guy and they'll become a good person#UH NO#no no no#they need to go through the arc#an ACTUAL arc#otherwise they'll just go back to being an ass when shit gets hard#or at least don't waste my time#if you want the protagonist to fall in love with a bad boy embrace it#don't tell me he's a good guy when he's doing awful shit#it just ruin what could be a decent story#but I digress#cursing tw#abuse tw
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i find it so so interesting the things that you can learn about a parent/caregiver just by knowing their kid...
when siffrin doesn't flinch away from bonnie's touch, bonnie says "good kid, good kid. you didn't even jump that time! good job, you did such a good job.” now we know what kind of langauge nille uses to praise bonnie!
bonnie doesn't actually argue all that much about not being allowed to fight - they make their opinion known, but then focus on being a good snack leader. i think they are used to having their point of view taken into consideration! a kid who doesn't dare complain at all might have very strict and stubborn caregivers, while a kid who throws a fit might have caregivers who pay more attention to emotions than logic, or care less about their child's feelings and more about how those feelings affect them. but bonnie trusts that the adults around them will listen to them, and then make a reasonable decision, even if it's not the one they wanted.
bonnie's fairly level-headed in general, actually. they get really upset sometimes, obviously, but it's about things that are really upsetting? otherwise.. if they're not confronted about the death convo, they're able to set it aside and focus on cheering everyone up with snacks. even though they're mad at siffrin, they have some chill convos with him. pretty good emotional regulation skills all things considered! they're often able to choose to be calm and cheerful, but they feel safe expressing sadness and anger, too, so they're not just sitting there repressing everything either!
i just get really emo about what a good job nille must have done raising them 😭
#esp considering the two of them likely ran away when bonnie was a toddler or preschooler#which are the years of basic social-emotional skill-building#she would've had to work so hard to overcome whatever shit baby bonnie learned from their parents#not to mention the running away itself is traumatic#what a hard situation to be in#and she did it!! she raised bonnie into a well-adjusted pre-teen!#obviously bonnie is going through some shit right now#but the fact that they're doing so well anyway??#they have a SOLID foundation#they grew up being listened to and helped and taught#☺️#isat#bonnie#nille#thoughts about bonnie#thoughts about nille#thoughts#silver's greatest hits
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It's actually so hilariously hypocritical of Zuko to scoff at Aang when he talks about not taking revenge and not wanting to kill, when he went out of the way to try to save Zhao right after the man nearly succeeded in killing him. And also spared Zhao's life during their little Agni Kai. He repeatedly refused revenge and murder. I hope Aang finds out about it one day and gets his ass.
It honestly almost seems like he became MORE pro murder post-redemption, which is funny, but it's more like he'a pro righteous murder as long as someone else does it. Not him.
Notably he's all "Aang you have to kill my dad" but he didn't actually kill Ozai when he had the opportunity. He's all "it's the Avatar's destiny!" but come on. that was an excuse. He just didn't want to do it. Which is understandable, even though he knows Ozai deserves it, it would still be extremely traumatic for him to kill his father. So he passes it off to Aang. And then berates Aang for not wanting to kill his dad, the exact thing he didn't want to do, like a loser.
And fittingly, only time he seriously tries to murder someone was when he hired Combustion Man to kill Aang in peak desperation and even that was "someone else should do it. I don't have to be there or think about it. I didn't technically kill him someone else did"
(You can also argue that him being so passionate about helping with the righteous murder of people who were agents of the genocide is driven by a sense of guilt too, which is why he's so extra about it. It probably is. On top of that, I think he very much dragged his own mom issues into helping Katara specifically)
So yeah I also hope Aang finds out about his opportunity to kill his dad and roasts him like he deserves. Man who says murder is okay really means "it's okay if you do it".
#you can tell i just watched the southern raiders ep#zuko is such a disaster we need to study him#avatar the last airbender#zuko#aang#i do enjoy that like...the way he mocks aang about “air temple preschool” is horrible considering you know. your family killed them all.#but it's also shows he's not going to conveniently expunge all fire nation attitudes from his brain the second he switches sides#he's not used to thinking about what happened to the airbenders or grasping it. it's been considered 'unimportant' his whole life.#so I doubt he even considered what his words mean there. he just still has that impulse to be a jerk.#i'm mostly having thoughts on zuko this watch I notice. but Katara was so interesting in this ep too.#the way she and sokka process grief differently and don't seem to quite understand each other about that is so interesting.#it's nice to imagine them actually talking about that one day
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Squirrel and Hedgehog polls
Ok!
So, I will be starting on the drafts for the shipping polls. Might take a few days, I will have to look up photos. Four Choices will be:
1.) Yes, I like this ship
2.) No, I do not like this ship
3.) I see them as Platonic
4.) I don't have any feelings for this ship/I have never thought about this/results
Some notes:
I have been watching on the official North Korean Youtube channel. In Operation: White Snow, the hedgehog scout is repeatedly referred to as Number 11, so I am assuming that he is a different character than the regular Scout Goseumdochi.
I am pretty sure we all agree that we do not ship Bamsaegi, Undochi, and S2 Mulori with the older characters (and I am assuming they are young adults in the show so it is ok to ship them together).
I have seen multiple people say that they do not see Flower Hill as monogamous, so liking one ship does not discount liking another. The first option in the poll could also include ideas of feeling like they may have had something in the past, but it is platonic now. I might make a multi ship poll later.
I cannot think of any ships involving Dr Dudeoji.
I also cannot think of any ships involving Uncle Gom, given how he thinks of the residents of Flower Hill as too small and weak.
Here is a rough draft I quickly made of the current list of ships I could think of, that will be in the polls. Please feel free to message me for any others.
•Geumsaegi and Scout Goseumdochi
•Geumsaegi and Aekku
•Geumsaegi and General Commander
•Geumsaegi and Mulmangcho
•Geumsaegi and Juldarami
•Geumsaegi and that one really competent mouse from A Battle at Mt. Rock
•Geumsaegi and Commander Seungnyangi
•Commander Seungnyangi and Assistant Jogjebi
•Assistant Jogjebi and Geumsaegi
•Officer Yeou and Geumsaegi
•Officer Yeou and Commander Seungnyangi
•Geumsaegi and the squirrel that comes to his window in ep 1
•Hedgehog number 11 and rabbit guide/scout
•Hedgehog number 11 and hedgehog waitress
•Hedgehog waitress and mouse waitress
•Juldarami and Akkeu
•Juldarami and Murori
•Mulmangcho and Akkeu
•General commander and Geomeunjogjebi
• General Commander and Akkeu
• General Commander and the mouse pilot from Searching for the Jewel Necklace
•Officer Yeou and Assistant Jogjebi
•S2 Murori and Bamsaegi
•S2 Murori and Undochi
•Bamsaegi and Undochi
•Commander Darami and Commander Goseumdochi
•Commander Goseumdochi and Commander Seungnyangi
•Some variation of the wolf interrogators in the dungeon, assuming they are not brothers
•I’m assuming Thief and Long Legs are related, so they won't be included
•A variation of individuals in the pact I need to look up again because I know some of them are related.
#squirrel and hedgehog#worked on this as well as a bit of the next chapter of Lily Bell in the Thorn Thicket#does this contain a secondary excuse to scour the web for photos?#perhaps#sitting upright has been really hard for a few days so I just didn't do anything#had to babysit a gaggle of toddlers who go to preschool over Christmas#it was nice to see them but who knows what I caught#thought I might have to go back to the hospital for a bit there
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Another weird question for y’all! This one is more of a series of weird questions 1. Would it be bad weird to give helpful strangers a “thank you” sticker? I am very short and have asked strangers for help getting things down from tall shelves many times, and it occurred to me my new purse has room to fit some stickers 2. If I am going to carry around some stickers (I’m thinking the kind you can get a lot of that come on a roll), should it be stars, happy faces, or something else? 3. If you are a tall person who has been asked to get things down from shelves for strangers in stores, what would you do if that stranger then gave you a sticker? edited to add: it is entirely possible this thought occurred to me because I used to volunteer with preschoolers and have remembered while typing this post that I do have a roll of stickers somewhere in my house (they were for the preschoolers)
#the person behind the yarn#tj asks weird questions#I know it's weird I just don't know if it's BAD weird you know?#like I don't want to alarm people I'm aiming for either happiness or bemusement#I figure stickers are pretty non-threatening#wait I was going to say I could explain it if they ask as#I used to work with preschoolers and I have a lot of stickers left to use up#but I think I actually DO have a roll of stickers left over from my babysitting days????#I know as a short person there have been many times I have to ask for help getting things down#and I figure tall people must occasionally get tired of being asked to get things down from shelves#so maybe an unexpected thank you sticker can like. add a bit of unexpected brightness to it#also the thought occurred to me and I can't think of a reason not to do it
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i try not to be too obnoxious about liking kids media but i will be honest my one thing that really gets on my nerves is when people compare shows like idk the owl house or whatever to shows like bluey or like talk about them as if they are similar. like yes i logically realize they are probably exaggerating in order to frame all cartoons as especially childish but it still makes me want to tear my hair out like do you know how wildly different the target demographics for these shows are!!! do you realize that preschool television is generally a whole different world from tv for older kids!!!!
#this is not to devalue preschool television either i think it’s awesome#i would love to work in preschool tv in theory but i don’t have the child development knowledge for that#anyway the point is these types of shows are doing very different things#and even if someone is exaggerating on purpose#talking about them in the same breath just makes me think oh okay you don’t actually know anything about children’s television#which is fine you don’t have to. obviously it is. it for everyone.#but to act like being a devoted fan of a show like. idk she ra. is so unfathomable to you that it would be like having a peppa pig blog#like i’m never gonna be one to say ‘it’s better than adult media blah blah blah’ that’s what i mean abt being obnoxious#but you can’t imagine it possibly having a compelling story or anything to get invested in?? why not???#i’m getting away from myself and trying to fit all my thoughts into one post#which i TOLD MYSELF i wouldn’t do#also btw if you do blog about preschool television more power to you. do whatever you want forever.#don’t go on rants about how bluey is objectively better than all media made for adults ever but like.#yeah man bluey is a fun and comforting show. enjoy it!#r.txt
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modern!90s!james getting a puppy for your daughter. let’s converse.
#i’m not sure if it’d be a birthday or christmas present#or one day he’d show up to pick her up from preschool and he’d have a little puppy in the backseat#or maybe he surprises her after we all go to dinner by stopping at the local animal shelter#and you all are looking at the puppies together#i don’t know but i’m in the fetal position#james hetfield#papa het#modern!90s!james#bub’s thoughts
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🍪🥛
#out of sight out of mind....#im not gonna check his blogs every day from here on out#and i hid/archived our chat so i dont have to see it when i open the messaging app#i do have some kind of 'fomo' lol bc i dont wanna miss out on any potential glimpse into his mind or days#esp now when he doesnt tell me anything anymore. idk anything abt what goes on with him#but .. i am allowing and letting him control my life#i obsessively check my phone and refresh his blogs ALL day#it's extremely unhealthy and pathetic and i know this#it's just hard to stop bc i genuinely... love him sm#plus he told me he wanted me for real so he made me not only dream of a life i thought wasnt possible for me#but also WANT it. i only want him and to live with him and be his. that's all i want but he just cut me off out of nowhere lol#and im still hung up on it... i dont want my boring reality. current nor future. i just want the reality where im with him which he made me#think was smth i could have one day soon.#but anyway. if his feelings changed that's how it is. it's not even his fault it's just how things work in life#even if i dont want to accept it i have to. i cant keep living in this limbo. i try to talk to him but he's a wall so that's a No.#so i cant let him control my life and waste away all my days on him#i need to stop checking his blogs and our chat. that's the first step#im still gonna allow myself to think of him and daydream and fantasize. but that will have to stop soon too#then i have to focus on doing my assignments and read books and go to the gym#things that will help me get realistically where i want in my current reality#i want to finish highschool and then apply for a preschool or library program#and hopefully the plan is to get a student housing apartment so i can move out finally and live on my own and study#then when i finish i'll look for a job as either of those things. and a place to live (which is super fkn hard in these modern chaos times)#even if i have to live my life all alone... i want to be as comfortable as i can at least#i can live in my own row house and have pets and work and read and play games and watch shows#and see and talk to my mom#i mean hopefullyyyy i'll be able to try to make at least some shallow connections so i have ppl to hang out with#i can always hope to meet someone who'll fall in love with me but im not counting on it#ugh.. bc as it is now#i dont do ANYTHING but be on my phone
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#found out last night in a family video chat that one of my younger cousins is planning on going into the police academy in florida#and i've been sick about it all day#apparently my uncle who is a retired nypd sergeant doesn't even want him to do it#but my cousin thinks its the only straightforward path to stability?#i remember talking to my aunt a while back when i was getting my adhd diagnosis and she mentioned that she thought my cousin fit the profil#and had been struggling a lot with school and just motivation#he decided not to go to college bc he just felt like he couldn't go through it which is fine but now i think he's struggling from that#bc apparently he was doing volunteer work with kids and loved it and wanted to look into becoming a preschool or kindergarten teacher#but the amount of schooling was too daunting for him both process and costwise#and they're gagging for cops down there and it's 20yrs and a guaranteed pension after that#and i'm just sick to my stomach about it bc this is a kid who wants to be a ***preschool teacher*** he's such a sweet kid#he's really sensitive and gentle and i'm just sick over the fact that he feels like the constructive field of becoming an educator#is inaccessible to him on all levels -- and the pigs are there with open arms#just thinking of him being broken by the police academy into that mold is sickening#*especially* in florida where considering the laws he's gonna be having to enforce.....#like kid you're gonna have to be bashing in the heads of queer protestors. antifascist protestors. climate activists. striking laborers.#what kind of brutality are they gonna do to make him agree to that#beyond the brutality of inaccessibility that's brought him to this point so far???#my sisters and i decided we're gonna talk to him about it -- i'm gonna def hear what he's thinking when i'm home#i'm just...like i said i'm just sick about it
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this cold snap combined with being Obligated to visit my shit parents has me fantasizing about the fact that some day i will move hundreds -perhaps thousands- of miles away from here
#eliot posts#i'm not yet sure where tho#roughly considering georgia bc it's one of the more blue of the southern states#california is always an appealing idea but the cost of living Scares Me#could also move outside of the states#prolly to south america but europe could also be neat like spain or italy or somethin#i've only done surface level research on what it's like to like in various south and central american countries#but a few of em sound good for my wants. especially uruguay i think?#alas most of the pros and cons about emigrating from the u.s. are written by the Type Of Person to blog/vlog abt that type of shit#so their complaints are shit where it's like. that just sounds like how most ppl outside of like los angeles live their life#or shit that is very much like what ot was like growing up in my rural hometown#this one bitch was weeping and moaning abt there being no amazon prime 2 day shipping#anyway tho#i do know that the immigration process is very tough (tho especially in europe)#so that would have to wait til AFTER i've spent a few years here in the states setting up a stable life and saving up money#also definitely need to get better at spanish (or learn portuguese if i wanna go to brazil) bc my spanish SUCKS i talk like a preschooler#this one lady on youtube was boohooing about ''i thought i could just learn spanish through immersion'' LIKE BRUH#you just EXPECTED the locals to accomodate you when you didn't even teach yourself RUDIMENTARY spanish beforehand???#whadda fuck
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im so annoying im like ugh my students need to be off for summer already🙄 and the second they leave im like wait 😩 come back just one more day🤕🤕
#found out most of my fav students are going to the other preschool in town next year…. where i want to apply to..#many thoughts. many plans#allana rants
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Y’know, I wanna learn to forgive and let things go but I also wanna hunt down the ballet teacher who demanded I remove my 3-year-old daughter from her COMMUNITY COLLEGE ballet class 22 years ago (which made the poor lil thing cry), so I can tell her off properly for being an authoritarian, self-important, delusional big fish in an infinitesimal pond with no concept of fun or of what a child is and tell her to pirouette her New York ballet washout self straight to Hell.
#used to love ballet#then i took ballet#and even after seeing that hellscape#and quitting at 13#i though Doodle would enjoy a baby class#surely they just have fun at 3#I thought anyway#no apparently rigidly complaint#preschoolers are what’s demanded#go pound sand you hateful#blond cow of a person#honestly ballet itself needs to crash and burn#for what it puts its people through
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he was living alone and literally going out and hunting for his own food by at least 4 so.
#im still so fucking mad about that stupid fucking scene#so narutos parents. Die. right. but they were decent (the mom was amazing)#so obviously theyre like alright! lets give him a godfather and have our dying words be telling the village leader#to take.care of our newborn son#timeskip we see the third Literally leave naruto out on the floor?? on the street????? like waht#and he had kids of his own too so um. i dont think youre supposed to leave babies on the road maybe tjats just me tho#another timeskip. we have No Idea who took care of naruto between this#but now hes like... 3? 4 at most?#the villagers are already discriminating against this literal fucking toddler everyone hates him#aaaand he has his own apartment. how thoughtful you gave the preschooler free rent#so we see him have to make himself this rudimentary fishing pole#and go and fish for his own food#and he eats outsife of the village so he wont b fckn hunted down#AND THE FUCKKNG VILLAGE LEADER#SHOWS HP#AND NARUTOS SO FUCKING SWEETTOO KIND FOR HIS OWN GOOD#HES STARVING HE HAS LIKE. TWO TINY FISH#and he offers one. to the village leader. who was supposed to maybe not leave an infant in an apartment alone by HIS PARENTS DYING WORFS#AND THE GUY FUCKING TAKES IT?????#OH AND I MENTIONED A GODFATHER. YEAH. NO HES TRAVELING THE WORLD WITHOUT A CARE PEEPING AT WOMEN#AND HE ONLY SHOWS UP TO TRAIN NARUTO AFTER NARUTO DOES SEXY JUTSU#And evrn then he doesnt tell him shit about his parents or anything#and im supposed to LIKE THESE GUYS?????
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-- Me, age 5, sitting in the back of the car on a long road trip
did you guys know about this? you can listen to a song and imagine Scenarios. yeah, they can be whatever you want them to be it's pretty cool
#honestly thank you post for reminding me of the fond memories i have of doing exactly this as a preschooler#i remember lying in the back of the car listening to music and looking up at the moon one specific night#imagining what the future would be like. what my brother would be like#we lived on a farm 4 hours from the nearest hospital and my moms water broke#i was like 7 at the time#i had no concept of how dangerous it was to my mom. while we were speeding down the highway i was looking at the moon#and i knew we were going to be okay#and my mom thought i was asleep until i started singing along to a song i knew#i knew i was gonna have a little sibling soon and i honestly remember feeling how important a moment it was#the moon did watch over us the whole night even#anyway#so uh yeah#ravenposting
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Still don’t know what day exactly I’m getting my apartment but within the week and I’ve got all the furniture ready for it and wallpaper and I’ve finally got the pet I’ve wanted my whole life and she’s the cuddliest little thing ever finally got rid of some really shitty people that were in my life a new job so I’m making more money again been staying clean and sober for the first time in a long time if not ever it feels like things are finally starting to fall into place
#was talking about going back to school too#my dads job would fully pay for it if I go to school in state#I was thinking about getting a job as a preschool or art teacher#I’ve worked with kids since I was like 10 and while teachers don’t make a lot#I would be making enough to comfortably live the kinda lifestyle I want#like I’ve never really wanted my own house idk maybe that’ll change one day#but I’ve always wanted to live alone but still in close proximity to others#I love the duplex I grew up in#I like being in an apartment#I don’t plan on having kids or anything it’s not like I’d have to pay for another person#still not sure about going back to school it was hell and I have health issues that make it worse#but the thought is there#even still I wouldn’t do that for at least another year#ghost rambles
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✎ all of me
- gojo satoru x reader
you understand that some things in marriage just needs compromise. and he soon understands too, when you're at your most vulnerable and he fails to be by your side when you need him the most
genre: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship (you're married & have a son!) argument, feral gojo, mentions of injury & blood, fluff
note: if it isn't obvious by now i'm in the mood of angst-hurt/comfort this week HEHE :)) this is longer than the usual love entry, so i hope you'll enjoy it!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
Bantering with your husband is not uncommon―in fact, it happens on daily basis.
"Satoru― I'm talking to you!"
But having serious arguments with him is another matter entirely.
Your fists tightening at your sides, facing his unamused expression. How insufferable is he? You told him that everyday, but right now, he's truly surpassed previous levels of infuriating behavior.
"And I can hear you, sweetheart," he retorted, casting a glance your way. The term of endearment he used for you sounding almost like a sneer to your ears and you felt offended.
"I don't think you're taking this seriously," you griped, trying to calm your emotions, still balling your hands. "Someone is following our son on his way back from school―how can you be this... flippant?!"
Numerous photograph of your son exiting the school building from different angles had arrived in your mailbox, and if it wasn't a creepy warning from those who placed a target on his back, then you didn't know what it was.
Satoru let out an exasperated grunt. "I'm telling you, I'll pick him up for the rest of the week. No one will lay a hand on him."
You gritted your teeth. "And I'm telling you, they're trying to make you do just that. Even morons know not to mess with you― they're leaving hints, and you're taking the bait!"
Contrary to what you believed, Satoru felt just as worried as you upon knowing that someone might have marked his precious son, who was now six years old and had recently started attending preschool.
But this is where your approaches differ. You are always the cautious one, overanalyzing each detail, while he leans towards being impulsive, often resorting to brute force.
"Who do you think can stand a chance against me?" Satoru challenged with a real sneer this time. "Remember my words, wife, no one is going to hurt me, you or our baby. I'll end them where they stand."
"That's not the point!" you threw your hands in the air, irate. "Satoru, they're going to take advantage of―"
"Look, I don't want to argue with you." Satoru's gaze was hard on you, his tone clipped, and it made you stiffen. "His safety comes first— and you, of all people, should know I'd never let anything happen to him. You need to quit nitpicking and have a little faith in me."
"I know you are more than capable, but you are not―!"
And then he said it, and his words piercing through you like a knife―
"Don't compare me to you," your husband remarked a little too coldly. "I can do things you can't. Just rest your pretty head, I'll take care of the rest."
Nevermind that he blatantly dismissed your skills as a jujutsu sorcerer, nevermind that he totally didn't listen to you at all―he just went and made himself look like some sort unparalleled god, forgetting how much his hubris could actually take him.
And all these thoughts only made you angrier.
"So be it then." You tried desperately to hold yourself from shaking because you'd be damned if you showed it to him. "A word of advice, Satoru: beware of your arrogance."
With those words, you spun around, marching off toward your son's room, because no way in hell was you going to sleep with that obnoxious prick tonight.
But when you caught the sight of your baby scuttling away from the gap in the door, a fragment of your heart crumbled. Oh. He has seen it all.
In Gojo Satoru's mind, he is made of two things: a powerful jujutsu sorcerer and a family man.
With his immense strength, comes a certain responsibility. And with that responsibility, certain habits have formed. If you just took a few seconds to breathe and looked back throughout the past decade he'd spent with you, you'd know that in fact―
It was also his way to shield you. Satoru stands by the principle that you and his little boy must be protected at all cost, and he most certainly would pull all stops to do just that.
But frankly, he couldn't deny that he felt insulted by how defiant you were. Did you really think he would let anyone ever touch your―his―son? He wouldn't, they'd meet his wrath first and you should've known that.
Still, something akin to guilt nudged at his conscience as he lay alone in your shared bed that night. It felt strange not having you cuddling him. He felt empty.
. . .
None of your shampoo-scented pillow, none of your nightdresses, all of it replaced by a single photo hanging in the wall and the urn of ashes—
Abruptly, he jerked his eyes open, shaken from the most dreadful nightmare he had experienced—
Of you no longer by his side.
“Mama.” Your little boy looked up to you with his doe-blue eyes in the next day, his hand gripping yours. “I’ll be fine.”
You were accompanying him to the preschool. While Satoru had requested Ichiji to drive him, you insisted on tagging along to keep a watchful eye as well. You'd leave your husband to pick him up later just as he wanted.
“Huh?” you turned to him, tilting your head.
“I'll stick by Uncle Ichiji's side the entire time,” he replied in a murmur. “And papa will be picking me up too later. If there are bad guys, they'll get him first.”
You bit your lip, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you. Your boy witnessed your outburst last night and hadn't inquired about it until now, and even then, he was trying to reassure you.
“So… don’t fight.” His round, cerulean eyes then darted towards you, blinking hesitantly, causing you to catch your breath.
He looks so much like Satoru. At six years old, he was the spitting image of him, except his personality—he took after you in that area. It was as if your son was a softer, more innocent version of him. And your heart twisted, remembering your argument last night.
Don't compare me to you.
With a sigh, you bent down to be eye-level with him and managed a smile, holding both of his little hands. “I’m sorry… it was just misunderstanding last night, okay? Don’t worry.”
“…really?”
“Really. Mama and papa were just tired,” you tried to reason, a thin smile on your face. "It's going to be okay, just like you said, yeah? Papa will beat the bad guys out there."
“Will he pull through...? If they bring a knife, and he's just there laughing, they can cut him.”
A giggle escaped your lips at your baby's innocent wonderings, easing the ache in your heart as you recalled how Satoru humored him in so many ways.
You gently poked your son in the cheek. "Nah, do you remember what he always goes on about?"
He puffed up his cheeks in response, his expression turning sour as if combing through memories of hundreds of shenanigans Satoru had instigated to recall his words. You let out a hearty chuckle, finding him so adorable.
"He's strong, he's going to win. He always does."
"Oh. Mmm." Your son scrunched up his nose cutely, before looking away and squeezing your hand. A sincerer smile bloomed in your lips, heart melting at the sight of your growing munchkin.
You will protect him. And maybe you could patch things up with Satoru later that night. Maybe yesterday you were just too paranoid.
That was the plan... at least until your son suddenly screamed—someone wrenching him from your grasp. Without a second thought, you reacted, flipping the attacker away from you and him.
. . . and that was the beginning of how everything started to unravel so terribly that day.
"Gojo-san...! There's been an incident!"
He got that call right after he finished some things with Yaga. Satoru teleported to the preschool right away, only to be greeted by a scene of utter chaos.
Several teachers stood outside the building, and police officers were present at the scene. It was all a blur of cursed energy until his eyes caught sight of—
His little boy, red-faced and obviously in fear, was clinging to Ichiji, who was frantically making calls. Some teachers gathered around him were seemingly trying to coax him to speak.
He didn't waste a second to dash towards him, tearing through the crowd.
"Are you okay? Hey, buddy, what happened?" Satoru pulled him away from Ichiji and turned him over, crouching to his level to check for any signs of injury or harm.
And upon seeing him actually here, his son's eyes immediately welled up with tears, and Satoru felt a chill run through his veins as he broke into sobs, which quickly turned into heart-wrenching wails.
"Mama—! F-find mama—!" the little boy choked out through his tears, clutching onto his shirt tightly and crumbling in his embrace, thoroughly inconsolable.
Satoru's sharp gaze quickly swept over the scene, seeking any clues, while he tightened his hold over him. It was then he noticed traces of your cursed energy mingled with blood.
They hurt you.
"Hey, kiddo—listen to me, it's going to be alright, yeah?" Satoru said, gently pulling away to wipe away his tears, holding the boy's face tenderly in his hands. "Go with Ichiji for now, okay? I'm going to bring mama back, I promise."
He didn't need to be told twice. Your son is always obedient when it matters the most. He gave him a small nod, still shaking with tears.
"Don't worry," he flashed a reassuring smile and ruffled his hair. "I'm the strongest, remember? I'll get her back," he vowed once again. "She'll be fine. Wait for me until then, yeah?"
Ichiji was ready to leave as he had called for those in headquarters as backup in case anything were to happen again. Trusting him to keep his son safe, Satoru took off as soon as he could no longer see the sight of his son's tear-streaked face trying to watch him as the car pulled away.
"I won't repeat myself— where is my wife?"
Satoru wasn't playing this time. He skipped past taunts and just plain threats. These little fries, he thought.
The man he held by the throat was in a lot of distress. "Hyaaa! It's him! Please, please, let me go! I'm acting under orders!"
He then flung him across the wall— might have added more cursed energy than necessary.
At the moment, his entire focus was on trying to locate you. He couldn't let his mind wander to anything else; in fact, he didn't permit himself to.
It didn't take him long to piece together the general location of where you were through the residual of your cursed energy. They stationed several hooligans in this abandoned warehouse to stall him, but he got rid of them quickly and he could sense that you were close by.
"It's Gojo Satoru!"
"Run! Ruuuun!"
What a pain. They picked the wrong person to mess with, and Satoru's lips curled into a manic grin as he opened his palm, pulling them in—
"Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue."
Chaos erupted as the building collapsed around him. He hoped you would realize he was here and manage to avoid getting caught in the wreckage. He was sure you'd know though.
And true to his thoughts, soon he found you— blasting your attacker away with a powerful kick.
Satoru thought that you were a sight to behold, really. And he was about to call out to you when he felt it.
It happened almost in an instant. The way his heart dropped to his stomach, and how his body reacted, barely whispering the incantation for Red as he shot it at something lurking behind you—
At that moment, the only thing you were aware of was the foul stench of a curse. Time seemed to stop before the overwhelming force of Red expelled it away from you.
But before then, you experienced a searing, white-hot pain that scorched through your flesh and pierced your abdomen—
"Y/N―fuck―!" The voice that came from Satoru's throat was raw and laden with panic.
He pulled you against him protectively as you collapsed, blinded by pain. He immediately felt warmth spreading across his lower body—your blood was rapidly drenching his shirt, and he felt a shiver down his spine.
You held onto him tightly while suppressing your scream, feeling every bit of your strength drain away along with the dark crimson blood that poured out of you.
"―toru―" you managed to croak amidst the scalding pain, curling and whimpering in his hold.
"Hey― sweetheart, please―" his voice rang in your ears, as he pressed down on your wound. His hands were shaking, and you clawed at him and groaned in agony. "I-I'm taking you back now― You're going to be alright, yeah?"
The wound was beyond anything you had experienced before, causing you to cry out and gasp for air. It was almost as if something fried your insides. It was hard to stay conscious.
"I've got you now. You're going to be okay." His voice was coarse, as he hurriedly carried you out. And he tried not to let the full-blown panic take over him when your body went limp in his arms, your breaths slowing, head lolling in his chest.
"You're going to be alright! You hear me, sweetheart? You're going to make it. Our baby― he's waiting for you. I promise you, you're going to be fine―"
Perhaps he was trying to tell that to himself, because despite the excruciating pain, a wave of reassurance washed over you.
You were in the arms of the strongest sorcerer alive, what more could you possibly afraid of?
A special grade curse. They had actually unleashed a potent curse and likely aimed at him as their final card—until it veered off course and struck you, leaving a searing gash across your abdomen.
Satoru felt numb as he sat in the waiting room in his bloodied uniform. You got hurt so terribly right in front of his eyes, and all he could feel was this profound void that seemed to bore through him and pierced his soul.
He was supposed to protect you. He said it to your face that nothing and no one would touch your son, and it was in his wedding vows that he'd protect you with his life too.
And yet what happened?
If only he was faster. If only he was able to pull you to him and protect you with his infinity—none of this shit would have happened.
Seeing your face twisted in agony and smeared with blood made him feel sick to his stomach. Inside that OR, you hovered on the brink of life and death, and he was here, unable to do anything.
Satoru rested his head against the wall, feeling a sharp pain surge through his chest. He remembered waking up to your face every morning, the way your touches felt, and how you had brightened his world for the past decade. If he lost you now... he wouldn't survive it. He would wreck anything, everything—
"Papa!" and came his voice of reason. Satoru immediately discarded his bloodstained jacket by instinct, throwing it away before his boy could see it, with Ichiji and Megumi closely trailing behind.
His son crashed himself into him and threw his little arms around his torso, crying—and in that very second, the thump of his heart sounded louder in his ears. Somehow it felt like a knife that twisted his insides.
"Hey, kiddo." Satoru repositioned him so that he would sit on his lap and hugged him, patting him in the back. "There, there... it's alright, yeah? Mama is inside, she'll get better soon."
Your little boy pulled away and wiped his eyes, and Satoru chuckled as he helped him blow his nose. His child was incredibly adorable, and his actions mirrored yours to such an extent that it made Satoru's heart soften.
"Mama g-got hurt trying to... tell me to g-go..." the boy suddenly said amidst his quieter sniffles. "And... she s-said... papa— i-is strong and g-going to win..."
You believe in him. Ignoring the ache in his chest, only able to reply him with a "Yeah..."
Not long after, Shoko emerged from the operating room and informed him that the surgery had been successful, though you would likely need to have a one-week stay in the hospital for observation. He intended to move you to the VIP suite and stay the night there, but then he remembered his son, who was holding his hand.
Satoru crouched down and patted him in the head, fixing him a smile. "See? Mama is okay, but she needs to sleep here to get even better. Now you go home first with big brother Megumi, yeah?"
Your son adored Megumi and often begged you to let him stay over at his place, but this time he looked hesitant, fiddling with his little fingers. "Really? Mama will be home... soon?"
"Mm-hmm, the more she sleeps here, the faster she'll go back home, alright?"
And with that, his baby nodded and Satoru turned to Megumi with a nod. "Thank you for this, Megumi."
The boy whose life he had once saved on some sort of a whim, now grown up and shared the same concern he had for you, Fushiguro Megumi had never before witnessed his benefactor expressing such sincere gratitude for anything before.
When you came to, your body felt as heavy as lead.
The discomfort in your abdomen made you flinch, and you almost let out a groan until you turned to your side and saw him.
Satoru was asleep while sitting in the sofa next to your bed, dark circles evident under his eyes. It might have been your imagination, but his cheeks appeared to be slightly red too.
You tried to recall what had happened to you when it came back—you urging your son to run away as you let yourself being taken away, almost escaping from that warehouse, the flash of excruciating pain, and Satoru's stricken voice.
So he must've been here since last night. Any remnants of your disagreement seemed to have vanished, seeing him there with you, barely covering himself with the blanket, with a frown still marking his forehead even in his sleep.
You wanted to reach out to him until the movement sent a sharp jab to your stomach and you cried out a bit.
In that split second, Satoru's eyes jerked open, and realizing you were awake, his gaze locked onto yours. "Y/N—" But your strained whimper and expression told him everything. "Does it hurt? I-I'll get Shoko, wait—"
And then he hit the call button. Throughout it all, he kept a firm grip on your hand for reassurance. A few minutes later, Shoko arrived and examined your wound, subsequently administering painkillers to alleviate your discomfort.
"It's going to leave a scar," she explained grimly, showing the mangled skin where the curse had made its mark on you, and seeing that, Satoru clenched his fists.
Shoko sighed, empathizing with her friend's frustration. "It's going to fade with time, don't worry. You did well, Gojo. You brought her here quickly. Had you been even slightly later, there could have been an irreversible damage to her organs."
But your husband remained quiet, unable to bring himself to look at you. And after she left, you tried to finally voice your question to him.
"O-our—"
"He's fine," Satoru immediately answered, squeezing your hand. "Our boy is fine. I'll tell Megumi to visit later—he's with him."
A sigh of relief came out of you. "Thank... goodness."
But his expression seemed to fall even further after hearing your response. Satoru settled himself on the seat next to you and lowered the rail on your bed, allowing you to be even closer to each other.
"Do you not feel any pain anymore?" he asked then, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. He looked so sad, a stark contrast of how he usually was, and it bugged you.
"No... I feel fine now."
"Then, can I hug you?"
Of course you nodded without a second thought, and carefully, he wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you close and resting his face on the crook of your neck.
You knew what it was. Satoru was still visibly shaken by what had happened to you, and he wasn't great at expressing himself, so he tried to find consolation through this physical closeness instead.
"I'm okay..." you patted his back, trying to convince him. "I'm alright now, yeah?" But to your surprise, suddenly his whole body started to shake. "Satoru...?"
“…’m sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he nuzzled you. “I shouldn't... have let you get this hurt...”
It always amazes you how Satoru always gets this distressed whenever you sustain any injury. You had seen him cry precisely two times now—once after you gave birth to your son and experienced severe bleeding, and now.
"It's not your fault..." you whispered in response. "You... have protected me well."
He held you tighter, his tone faltering. "I didn't."
"You have..." you stroked his hair, trying to convince him. "I'm still here, aren't I?"
Hearing you say that made Satoru's chest ache. The thought of something like this happening to you was unimaginable, and now that it had, he couldn't come to terms with seeing you hurt right in front of him.
"Don't—" he choked on his voice, his breath trembled against your neck. "Don't ever put yourself in danger again. If something happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself..."
You couldn't make that promise. Despite the pleading in his voice, you knew deep down that your son's life—and his—meant more, and given the chance, you would obviously save theirs for yours.
“Satoru... I love you, you know that, right?”
So you simply embraced him close, hoping that in this life, you would live long enough that he would never have to see you like this again.
Epilogue
"Papa, how do I become stronger?"
Satoru blinked when his son asked him that so innocently and curiously, taken aback as he led him to your private room later that afternoon. "Oh? What brought this on?"
His first and only son, a perfect miniature of himself, pursed his lips. "I don't want Mama to get hurt again..."
Satoru's heart warmed at his baby’s sincere words, and despite himself, he chuckled.
"What's funny?" his son leveled a glare at him. "I'm being serious."
"Well, aren't you such a good boy? Don't worry, kiddo, I'll teach you my ways~"
"What ways?"
"Well, no need to rush, pumpkin. First of all, you will have to harness your skills and then you have to be more like me—"
"Do I have to be like you…? Is there no other way?"
"—? What's wrong with being more like me?"
"Everything...?"
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