#or their reunion won't hit half as hard

[ace-and-ranty]

I saw a couple comments that the scenes with Alanna's family felt like filler until you realize they were investigating Lan, and I 100% went.

Must things "happen" in a show? Is it not enough for there to be beautiful people?

[eldritch-spouse]

okay so odd-ball thought abt the zombie asks floating around;

santi and his lil obsession get separated, he’s absolutely GEEKED out, already stressed and fatigued, so he’s kinda reverting back to his OLD old snappy self.

a few weeks of this happening and he’s reached his peak, just a complete douche and asshat when patches (i’m assuming if the Clergy gang were all together when it happened they stayed together cause numbers=safety most of the time) runs up and has this fucking lump in his arms covered with a blanket— santi instantly smelled his lil lover and damn near rips patches’ arms off to get to her and just kinda stands there holding her and purring or smth

then they fuck cause yeah it’s santi and he’s a mix of absolutely starved and carnally obsessed with this sudden reunion with his lover.

(i love zombie aus. sorry if this doesn’t match his personality or traits, i’m severely tired but i HAD to blurb about this for a hot second-)

TW: Noncon moment.

It's not unlikely that he'll revert back to that mindset. After all, it's almost like his younger days in the Rings, always looking out for himself and trusting no one.

He might become worse, actually, since there's so little people out there who retain their intelligence and social norms. Santi doesn't have to be constantly checking himself and acting in ways that purposely charm others around him. There's no one to charm, no one to seduce, therefore he doesn't need to exert energy in thinking of tactics and lines and what kind of expressions he should make. Overtime, those mannerisms fade and he becomes a more raw, brute version of what an incubus truly is deep down. A predator looking to fuck the energy out of you so it can sustain itself.

His coworkers don't make a big deal out of it, they've known Santi for a long while, especially Grimbly, and they know how he gets when in a truly foul mood. They've seen him devoid of charming mannerisms. They don't care for his tantrums, but there have been instances where Santi simply picks fights with them just to prove something to himself he can't even understand, just to take his mind off things, because it's easier to brawl and sexually harass someone than to admit that he needs help. That he's broken and sees no real reason to exist anymore except to remember you.

In this state, Santi has no qualms being incredibly sadistic and hunting down anything he considers worth the effort, hurting them as the brute acts necessary for his feeding unfurl. They're not even people, these walking husks... And the survivors he does find, they'd rather try to kill him, so they're not any better than the zombies are they? They don't deserve an inch of his mercy, so they can squirm themselves to death on the incubus' cock for all he cares.

When he gets you back, as surprising as it is that he even got you back at all after basically mourning your loss and spiraling into the worst version of himself... Santi doesn't know what to do with himself. It's like being hit with a brick to the face. And he realizes what a cunt he is.

You won't love him like that.

It's been so long, he can barely crack the same smile he used to for you. His claws are way too big, his body's covered in scuff marks from willingly getting into dangerous altercations. Santi forgot half the charm he used to have, and the remnants he's trying to put back on are forced. Unnatural.

When you wake up in his arms, it's all the demon can do not to blubber like a fucking baby. He doesn't speak too much initially because aside from "I'm so glad I found you again.", he's probably going to spit something tasteless and ruin the moment.

Santi finds himself unintentionally being brutish to you, snapping, speaking too roughly, grabbing you hard, subconsciously treating you the same way he would his prey. He sees the fear in your eyes and instantly freezes, realizing he's a danger to you and not recovering fast enough to avoid damaging the relationship.

The others around him, the ones that can still stand him, try to offer Santi advice and comfort him when he distances himself from your hurt self.

It all culminates in an intimate moment where Santi stops listening to you and just takes. You tell him to slow down, and he doesn't. It's a few minutes of him being a senseless rutting beast until he hears you sobbing. Not the pleasured sobbing of someone who has orgasmed too many times, the sobs and cries of someone who is in pain and scared.

You're the last person he wants to hurt, and Santi just wounded you in the worst way he possibly could.

After that, the incubus comes clean about what happened to him, who he was in his past, what happened when he thought he had lost you forever. And more than that, as much as he hates to do it, Santi gives up most control of things to you while he works to restore the incubus you fell in love with.

Because if you considered leaving him now, he would probably never recover at all.

[c6jpg]

dainsleif quest

the lore drops. fucking impeccable. but also i feel edged the fuck on. like we learned a liiiiiiiitle but also get 10 thousand unanswered questions as well

that's pretty standard for dainsleif quests though ig

the quest itself. can we even call that a quest it was so anticlimatic ajkdfladjsf like just content-wise i think that genuinely might have been our worst dainsleif quest the lore was CARRYING this shit and all we got was more questions and it felt SO short

as an aside its also criminal how long apart these quests are bc i honestly already kinda forgot what happened in the previous one (caribert) and i had to like. really use my brain to remember the lore we got then

DAINSLEIF BROTHER????????????

just in general like. my mind was exploding when we were talking about the five sinners of khaenri'ah. i want to learn more about them so bad

"i'll tell you all you want to know" YOU'RE NOT TELLING US ENOUGH DAINSLEIF ELABORATE

WE DESERVED A PROPER DAINSLEIF VS ABYSS TWIN ANIMATED FIGHT CUTSCENE. HOW DARE YOU JUST FADE TO BLACK ARE YOU KIDDINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

ngl when we first saw caribert i actually thought this might be dainsleif's brother and i was like NOOOOOOOOOO THEY CAN'T NPC DAIN'S BRO

i just KNOWWW his brother is gonna be so sexy whenever they reveal him. sorry i had to say it. anyways.

caribert man... his whole deal honestly felt like a sidequest within the quest but that was sad :(

not to be a #scarastan but i was just thinking so hard about the parallels between caribert and scara, implanting vs removing oneself from the memories of the world. both doing it to bring comfort to others, even if futile. i'm not smart enough to expand on this but i'm sure yall know what i mean

anyways okay. so the loom of fate can weave ley lines, that name makes sense now. now can literally anybody please explain what the fuck yall want to do with it

honestly the twin reunion scene felt kinda. idk. flat? like i was more hyped about the abyss twin vs dainsleif part kadjlsflds (speaking of which the way dain clenched his fist lmaooooooo i was just thinking of that one arthur meme)

i do love the detail that the twins call each other by their canon names though

was kind of 🙄 when we got hit with the "yeah btw you won't remember any of this once we're out of here." okay plot convenience

actually is it even plot convenience? like literally what harm would there have been of the traveler remembering???? what are they gonna do???? the only actionable thing of substance we learned was that the loom of fate was completed which dainsleif should have figured out anyways since he got the eye taken from him????????

actually i think it was great that dainsleif got bamboozled though. dude has been carried by plot armor for too long

sea of flowers mention interesting (i have no thoughts on this just interesting esp since i'm pretty sure that's the place shown in the teyvat trailer)

so basically confirmed the heavenly principles are asleep/inactive for some reason. idr if it was explicitly mentioned before. i actually DID wonder why we didn't get some celestia nail action smiting after all the shit that happened in fontaine, a lot of people thought that was gonna happen too with the whole celestia is floating right over fontaine

and then we wake up and the quest just ends??? LET ME TALK TO DAIN HELLO

also like. why did dain want to confront the abyss twin again??? maybe it was mentioned in an earlier quest and if so i forgot but either way i don't understand wtf dain was up to by luring the abyss twin out

no literally that felt like half a quest

objectively i think that quest kinda sucked but i will forgive it solely because of the lore drops no matter how tiny they were and bc i did really like caribert's story

[crownedinmarigolds]

Snippet of a greater WIP I had in mind for mine and my husband's "Tavs!" We have a story made where it's the plot but with three main characters rather than the one?? We're just having fun with our various characters. Basic info on pictures. Backstory beneath the cut!

Noa (top) is the daughter of a long standing noble family that lives out in the sticks, and her wedding to a powerful nobleman is in Baldur's Gate. Her bodyguard and greatest friend Nythanel (middle) travels with her there along with the rest of her family. He is a half drow (guess his other half) from the Underdark and was brought to the surface some years ago by his master, who had also bought Ishtar (bottom) not long after they arrived in the city. Nyth and Ishtar are basically siblings who were hijinking fools until Nyth was sold off to Noa's family. Noa and Nyth grew extremely close, and Ishtar was left alone in Baldur's Gate, so when they arrived in the city and Ishtar came across them, it was a bittersweet reunion. Noa meets her fiancé and doesn't think she can go through with the wedding, Nythanel agrees and they decide to run away together to Candlekeep, where Noa can become an acolyte and read stories forever. Nyth will decide what to do with his freedom when they get there. They pack essentials - and an heirloom violin and a few other things - and Ishtar catches wind of their plan to escape, and hops in with them as they start making their way out. Unfortunately! A mind flayer invasion occurs at this exact time, snatching the three of them up, keeping them from their freedom. They thankfully are on the same ship and are infected with the same parasite, protected by the mysterious person in the artifact. Then the game ensues! Noa we decided is also part of a werewolf noble family because we think that's fun and dope. Nyth does carry silver and have restraints, but thanks to the parasite's influence, Noa has some vague control over her shift and is not completely enslaved to the light of the moon... though the fuller it gets the more tenuous that control may be. Noa has a strong and willful personality and has little fear when it comes to other intimidating people thanks to being a partially awakened werewolf, though that can get her into trouble. We ship her with Gale! She is a bard who specializes in playing the violin and loves stories and reading as that was her only escape locked inside her home. She enjoys listening more than speaking, and is more of a composer rather than a chatty bard. Nythanel is a gloomstalker ranger, most of his training comes from his youth in the Underdark, where the shadow is a second home to him. He adores his Noa and both are extremely dedicated to the other, and he was the one who had to watch over her when she shifted into a wolf back home. He radiates eldest sibling energy and a bit of a matyr complex, always feeling like he needs to take the hit for Noa or Ishtar, and always feeling like he needs to please SOMEBODY or that he's letting somebody down. He has a fiery and snappy personality, but he like his sibling are just scared kids trying to be brave in the face of a bad past and a shaky future. His love interest is Shadowheart! Ishtar has had a hard life in many respects. She is an acrobatic arcane trickster rogue, using her tiefling heritage and her close connection to her devil father Mephistopheles to illusion her way through the garbage. She likes money - it won't fail you like people will - and making impulsive decisions. When she gained her freedom, who's to tell her what she can or can't do? If she sees a flower she picks it, a stairway banister she'll slide down it, a mud puddle she'll jump in it. She either wants to run a giant ice cream company empire, or a clown in a circus. We ship her with Astarion.... Okay sorry yep here ya go!

[denimbex1986]

'When you lose someone close to you, you’re left haunted not only by their sudden absence but also by what will never be. Few things nag at a person more than the things they wish they’d said, and when mortality gets involved, those unspoken conversations tend to ring even louder in your ears.

It’s hard not to let the weight of what you’ve lost hold you in place, and few films understand that better than All of Us Strangers. The Andrew Haigh-directed drama offers a decidedly non-traditional twist on a ghost story, one that prioritizes moments of profound emotional catharsis and personal reckonings. It was one of the best films to hit theaters in 2023, and now that it’s streaming on Hulu it deserves your attention.

Based on a 1987 novel by Taichi Yamada, All of Us Strangers follows Adam (Andrew Scott), a gay screenwriter whose isolated London life is upended when he decides to take an impromptu trip to his hometown. When he arrives, he discovers the ghosts of his long-dead mother and father (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell) residing in his childhood home as if nothing had ever happened to them. Adam’s inexplicable reunion with his parents prompts a series of return visits and conversations, all of which force him to grapple with the loneliness of his life.

They also give him the chance to come out to his parents, which he never got to do before they were lost in a car accident when he was 12. That detail adds a layer of thorniness that makes Adam’s interactions with his parents all the more compelling. A kitchen conversation between him and his mother, for instance, takes a rough, fascinating turn when she reacts to his coming out with responses and ideas tied to the 1980s, the decade she perished. The scene, beautifully played by Foy and Scott, makes it heartbreakingly clear how little their relationship was allowed to evolve before she was torn from his life.

A subsequent scene between Scott and Bell also seems destined to end badly when Adam doesn’t hesitate to call his father out on all the ways he failed him as a child. But then things take a sharp turn toward the cathartic when Bell’s frozen-in-time specter apologizes for ignoring and downplaying his son’s adolescent pain. This moment paves the way for Adam and his parents to start coming to terms with the time they lost.

In a later scene, Foy’s mother discreetly apologizes to her son by singing along to the Pet Shop Boys’ cover of “Always on My Mind” (Maybe I didn’t hold you / All those lonely, lonely times / And I guess I never told you / I am so happy that you’re mine). In another, she and Adam lie in bed and discuss everything they would have done together had they been given the chance, like getting into a fight while on a trip to Disneyland. “Did we make up?” Adam’s mother asks. “We didn’t need to make up. It was enough to know that we got to come home together,” he responds. If the tears hadn’t already started, they’ll be pouring by the time All of Us Strangers reaches these moments.

All of Us Strangers supplements Adam’s parents with a seemingly unrelated love story between Adam and his neighbor, Harry (Paul Mescal). For much of the film, their scenes of physical and emotional intimacy ground the movie in a kind of sensual materiality, but it isn’t long before Haigh further blurs the lines between reality and fantasy, and past and present. The film’s second half features numerous dreamlike images, like a train window reflection of a younger Adam frozen in a perpetual wail of pain, that visualize the haunting emotions he feels as he desperately tries to find a place for himself in the land of the living.

For many members of the queer community, All of Us Strangers’ story of isolation, loneliness, and eventual freedom will be all too familiar. More than anything, though, it’s the film’s emotional frankness that allows it to land with force. The greatest gift it gives Adam isn’t the chance to see his parents again, but to say everything he’s had to keep bottled up for 30 years. Everyone’s dreamed about speaking to someone they love with the same unbridled honesty that All of Us Strangers’ characters do, and there’s an intense comfort to be found in watching them slowly patch up the wounds that have been hurting them for so long.'

[oriansann]

Family Reunion

          Crisp clean air and a clear soft lit sky was perfect for taking photos. The trail was short and easy along the river to Clover Springs. This place always gave me a sense of peace and connection. It was the same place every year for the family reunion. Family always gave me a sense of place in the world.

          Things were better for me now, but I was still dealing with the divorce. It had been about ten months since I left Richard, four months since the divorce was final. Memories of the day I delivered his copy of the final papers came back to me. It was annoying how these memories kept popping in to say hi when I just wanted to let go. 

          ::It had been a mild but wet day when I arrived at the apartment we had once shared. Richard had been struggling, so a mutual friend agreed to be his roommate. My family home was waiting for me, so I left. Richard had no where, so his name stayed on the lease. 

          At this point half filled whiskey and rum bottles lined the kitchen counter. Richard answered the door and let me in. Inside I handed him the papers.

          "Is this what you want?" He asked.

          I nodded. "You already signed. These are the final papers, so it's done."

          "I can do better."

          "I hope you do." I said turning to leave. Any changes he made now would feel fleeting and fake.

          "Natasha thinks you're making a mistake." His eyes went down cast when I glanced at him.

          "Oh does she?" That was annoying. "You're still talking to her." See, nothing changed.

          My hand was on the door.

          "You should know this is it for me then." Richard spoke out and I froze. "It's over for me. I won't do anything stupid, because I know you don't want that, but I'm done. My life is done. All I'll ever do now is work eat and sleep."

          I saw red. All that I had done for him, for us, everything we had been through over the years meant nothing. More than that, why he spoke those words hit me hard. 

          "You know the kind of woman I am, what words like that can do to someone like me." I spoke softly.

          "I know." His voice was just as soft.

          I rounded on him. "How dare you put that on my shoulders."

          He froze. "That... that wasn't my intention.... I'm sorry." He stammered and quickly walked away.

          That was the last time I had seen him. It was also a time when I had realized more about him and me. After everything, he was focused on what this was doing to him. He wanted me to focus on that too. There was no moment in our conversations where he mentioned what he had done to me.::

          After a few deep breathes, I let that memory pass. I was here now. It was a beautiful day, perfect for a walk along the river to take pictures. As I walked, I let the sights, sounds, smells, and feel of this place comfort me and take my mind where it would.

          Birdsong, rushing waters, cool clean air, and perfect light brightened everything. At the spring, I sat connected and open. It was the perfect day. I drank my fill, filled my canteen and took my pictures. Then I started slowly back down the trail, taking more pictures along the way.

          At one point, the trail was high over the river, with a steep slope down to the rushing waters. There was a deep indent of earth along the trail bridges by two thick roots or branches of a felled tree. It was hard to tell. Between the roots was a perfect window to get a shot of the river.

          I had to take it. After slowly testing the roots and the slope toward the water, I stepped onto the roots, and took my shot. A deep caw of a raven had me looking to the trees. My foot slipped.

          As  I fell I grabbed at one root but it snapped under the sudden weight. The grab had slowed me and pushed me back against the slope, just at a small jutting ledge held by a boulder. White hot pain shot up my ankle as I crumpled almost loosening the stone and slipping further down.

          When I looked up I saw the branch I broke was the closest one to the trail. The other wasn't in safe reach. Maybe one of the parts of the root might hold me. Aside from a few scrapes and dirt and the fire in my ankle, I was okay. So I tried the barely there roots I could grab and pushed off with my good foot and...

          Blinding pain shot up my bad ankle at slight pressure from trying to climb. My grip snapped and cut a gash from my wrist to the palm of my hand. I slid back to my little perch happy that it seemed steady for the moment. 

          That didn't work. How safe was it for me to wait for family or strangers to wander by on the trail. It was likely that would happen within an hour or so. This trail was a tradition for the reunion. As I looked around I thought the ground might be pretty saturated.  Great...

          More attempts at climbing and falling might be a risk. Finding a secure spot, staying put and crying out might be might best bet. So that's what I did.

          "Hey... Hello...Anyone up there?"

          Time blurred as I called out at any sound that sounded larger than a squirrel.

          "Ann?"

          A familiar deep voice cried from above me. Rion? How did I remember him? How did he remember me"

          "I'm here." I cried out. "I slipped and can't climb out."

         Seeing his unfamiliar face peaking down at me had me grinning like an idiot. 

          "Are ya injured?" He asked looking around for leverage.

          The real concern in his eyes was startling... and comforting.

          "My ankle, and..." I answered and showed him my hand.

          He nodded. "Right." 

          His decision was made and he reached down with both hands as he lay on his stomach.

          "It's gonna hurt a bit, but I need you to grab my wrist. Take a strong grip. Keep lookin at me. You may slip, but I won't let go. Okay?" 

          As he spoke I moved, grabbing his wrist with my good hand. His other hand grabbed my injured wrist. I nodded and cried out softly as it stung when I gripped him back. His soft light smile, as he paused to let me catch my breathe helped

          "Now, yer good leg... ready?" The softness in his voice was a gentle urging.

          I nodded, and launched well scrambled. It hurt. Every time I grunted or cried out, he murmured. I've got you. As I started to crawl onto the trail he scooted back to give me space. He let go of my injured hand and wrapped his arm around me, lifting and guiding me down the trail. With him half lifting me, my ankle didn't hurt too bad.

          At a small boulder, Rion helped me sit, and handed me water and a snack from his pack.

           "It'll help a bit." He smiled softly again.

          "Thank you." I accepted, watching him closely.

           His eyes took me in then landed on my camera for a moment. Somehow that had stayed on. I hoped there wasn't much damage if any. 

         "What brings you up here?" He asked. "Photography? not a common place fer it." His tone was friendly and curious.

          As he spoke, he turned and opened his first aide kit. He knew what he was doing.

          "It's a nice place for it though." I countered.

          "Aye," he agreed.

            While he inspected my injured hand, he subtly checked my pulse as my wrist. 

         "No I'm out here with my family. It's a reunion." 

           "Oh? Nice place fer that too." He started bandaging my wrist and hand. 

          I nodded and accepted the Advil he handed me. "Why are you here?" I asked.

          He shot me a look and pulled out a small ice pack and a ace bandage for my ankle.

          "Not that I'm complaining." I amended, wincing as he checked my ankle.

          "Sorry," he murmured and secured the bandage. "Some friends and I come up here fer Litha."

         "Oh that's right, the solstice." I must have lit up.

          His soft chuckle had me blushing but I smiled at him.

          "Can ye stand love?" He sat back holding his arm out to help me.

          With his help, I awkwardly was back on my own two feet.

          "Good, can ye walk?"

          I nodded. "With help, I should be fine."

          He nodded and stepped closer to my side. "Put as much weight on me as ya need. Let's get you back to yer family." 

          Before long on the trail, we ran into my brother, Todd. Todd took one look at me and Rion and was instantly tense. Without hesitation, Rion handed me off to my brother. I rushed to make introductions. My brother was highly protective of me, especially lately. It didn't help that he had something like a high functioning autism. A lot of times I was the only one who could relate to him. It was good that I was living with him now. Mom and Dad could have their retirement and Todd wouldn't be alone.

          "Todd, this is Rion. I told you about him, the day I went to the Green Lady ritual. He's the one who stuck up for me and made me welcome." That helped a little. Todd relaxed slightly.

          "Rion, this is my brother Todd. He's one of my best friends." Rion bowed slightly at the hip with that soft friendly smile of his.

          "One?" Todd pouted.

          "Liz." I reminded him.

          "Oh... yeah" Todd brightened.

          Just then my uncle and aunt followed by other relatives came into view.

          "Lia!" Aunt Hellen called. "We were getting worried."

          I grinned at my family and made introductions. Then it was time to return to camp and rest.

          "Perhaps next year we can meet and share a feast." He offered his hand. As I took it, I felt a small piece of paper. He bowed slightly over my hand. "Call me if ya like."

          The piece of paper of course had his number on it. "I'd like that. I will call you later."

          "Be well, Ann." He murmured as he gave a small farewell bow to my family, turned and walked away.

          "Ann?" A few people questioned.

          "That's how he know me. It's my craft name." I mumbled suddenly shy.

          A few people shuffled uncomfortable. Not everyone was comfortable with me being a witch. They had just watched, what they would assume, a second one walk away.

          The rest of the reunion went by in a blur of smiles and jokes. It was everything I needed. Rion slipped somewhere to the back of my mind. He could wait.

[shai-manahan]

Nah, you are fine - someone sent you an ask about wanting to hit your character and you didn't react with crying about people being mean or 'Karens' or acting like we are supposed to intuit that MC deserves the aggression (even though they haven't done anything yet), unlike some IF authors. Note: I don't agree with that person or think their reaction is justified but if you want to write complex characters who provoke different reactions you have to be able to face different interpretations and reactions.

To be fair, some IF authors, or at least the ones I’ve personally come to know last year, do receive the nastiest anons sometimes, so it’s really hard for me to blame them. I know that this doesn’t apply to every author, of course, and I haven’t been too active this year so I usually have no idea when something happens within the community lol 

Btw since we're talking about reactions, I’m not sure if I’d ever mentioned this here before, but I was so surprised to learn that some folks really felt hurt by Wesley’s betrayal lmao. I’m not complaining, but I was half guessing that y'all would be indifferent to the whole situation since they haven’t appeared yet, and my expectation was that you’d slowly feel the sting over the course of the flashbacks and the inevitable reunion. I guess those scenes will just have to hurt more 😔

As a little addition to this topic, I'd also like to make it clear that the MC will always have the chance to defend themself against nasty comments, and the things that the ROs will be doing won't be forgotten along the course of the plot. You have the right to stay upset with them and reject their apologies if it comes to it, and there is no "punishment" for that. Personally, it's a prospect that really interests me, so you can count on that happening :)

[mochiwrites]

I'm here and it's midnight and I am 👀👀👀

So dear readers this comment is definitely gonna contain spoilers (so read hello my old heart first <3) but I simply MUST scream <3

So first of all AAAAA MY HEART, Mumbo thinks he's only good for killing :( It comes so easy to him and just kjfgdkjg he's good at his job even if he doesn't like it and he KNOWS Scar and Grian would tell him he's wrong but he thinks it and that's enough to be absolutely heartbreaking </3

HJjkfgsdlk it takes Scar a month to send him back out, I wonder if it's because of the lack of targets or because he wanted to keep Mumbo close by......... my vote's on the latter lol- but Mumbo wanting to retain his financial independence even when he's basically living with Scar and Grian is just. I understand that feeling hjgfkjd-

SERVANT OF THE GRIM REAPER that is such a badass way to describe an assassin 👀👀 Also how dare that one line alone give me a whole new idea for an AU??? Mochi how could you do this to me- ANYWAY Mumbo being numbed to the pleas, just clean taking out his target and getting the info he needs. Such a badass I love him, he's scary <3 But 👀 That hesitation over the file labeled "Family"........ why do I get the feeling that is gonna come back and it's gonna hit him AND me way too fucking hard I am. Expecting death from that little drop, Mochi what are you planning-

LOOK I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE CUPBOARD. I was like "👀👀 Is it? But no, it can't be... can it? Brown hair spilling out of a hood... could it.... is it? 👀👀👀" THANK THE GODS ABOVE AND BELOW THAT MUMBO DOESN'T SHOOT FIRST ASK NEVER hjgfdjkgf-!

I had completely forgot for a moment that Scar and Ren are (tentative) allies at this point and got a little worried when she said she worked for Ren hjfksjgfsjk SHE JUST IMMEDIATELY ASKS TO MEET SCAR when Mumbo reveals he works for him, and the fact that he gives in because she pleads with him because she's LOOKING for someone and is being VULNERABLE in that moment and it's just. Mumbo is gonna destroy me, isn't he? Mochi, you're going to kill me, I can feel it already and I am already crying. Mochi. pls-

THE PAPERWORK SCENE. Grian being a little shit. I love them. I love their joking and their flirting and Scar's dramatics and JELLIE <3 Jellie is the highlight of the chapter, the queen of the crew /j/j Awwwwwwwww they already miss Mumbo <3 And Grian is worrying about him I love them so much and I am going to say that half a million times btw just so you know, but they're so worried and want him to come home and and and- AND THERE HE ISSSSSS <3 the boy is home and the Grian is DELIGHTED I love-

"Hello love" look I am going to go feral I love when characters call their SO's "love" I am. It is. It is such a. A wonderful endearment I am hjfgsdjkfdsjk <3 Grian is so stubborn and it's fucking adorable, him just like "I did not miss you one bit" while clinging to him like a limpet kjgfdjkgfdjk I love them okay- "...mustache still fully intact" yes this is CLEARLY a VERY important thing, yes <3 Also the fact that Grian doesn't know about the thumb drive is. Hm 👀 I guess he doesn't NEED to know, so far as, ah, business is concerned, but. Hm. Still-

THERE SHE IS SHE'S HERE SHE'S ALIVE THE CONFIRMATION I AM 👀👀👀👀👀 WITH SO MUCH JOY OUR GIRL IS ALIVE WONDERFUL <3 This reunion is so. SO. The uncertainty that this is real, the confusion and the hopeful joy, the knowing she's real when they embrace, because it's warm and solid and familiar and just- them <3 And the fact that Mumbo and Scar realize that this is a moment they should probably let them have alone, let them have this reunion and this talk to themselves- it's like an extension of trust, realizing that this is. This is important and fragile and so so so meaningful, and knowing that she won't hurt Grian- and it is just. I am. I love. Am just SOBBING over this <3

He has fully embraced his new(ish) identity and honestly I love that so much for him <3

PEARL SURVIVED off of a game plan, sheer stubborness and a determination to see Grian again- I love her so much, she means everything to me. The hubris of the Watchers being their downfall, assuming she was dead without checking- I LOVE IT you know I love a good "be my own downfall" plot point. Wonderful. And the fact that she almost died and was saved by mere CHANCE. AND IMPULSE. FATHER FIGURE IMPULSE. 2/3 Soup Group Fam let's gooooo! But oh my god the fact that Pearl was THAT CLOSE this whole time......... MOCHI I AM BITING WHAT THE F- Laughing because there is nothing else you can do is one of the most painful things in the world <3 Laughing because you're crying and there is a cruel irony in the world and it's so funny :) Because they were so close this whole time and were hurting and missing each other and it's irony in one of the worst ways and just </3 They laugh. They laugh. (I'm sorry the laughter got to me bc I do not read it as genuine "wow this is so funny" laughter but as "wow that is so fucked up" laughter, laughing because the only other option is sobbing haha <3 I am fun at parties-)

GUILT. GUILT. GUILT. She didn't come back but he never expected her to because he thought she was dead so the fact she's here now is so much more than he ever expected and just kfdskjfd how can he be mad when this is LOADS better than anything he ever expected?? They're here now, together, and as a bonus they're not on opposite sides of a war hjgfrkj even if Grian's immediately reaction is "ew, Ren?" lMAO-

The fact Grian just assumes she means his relationship with Scar rather than how he came to work for Scar is just. Such sibling energy, it's beautiful haha <3

My god such a weight has been lifted from Grian's shoulders, his fear about his love killing people- now he knows it was all a lie and she's here and they're here and it wasn't his fault, that is just. I love this for him. I love it for them. I love them both <3

"... if he doesn't strangle her with a pillow first." Yep, yep. Siblings. Wonderful! I love it

MOCHI THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD I AM ACTUALLY DYING OVER HERE this was everything, the Mumscarian, the Siblings, the Revelation, I am SO happy she turned out to be alive, I was so afraid this whole time and I am. I am SO. I love this AU <3

.... I love them :) <3 WONDERFUL JOB AS USUAL and I am so glad to see you so enthusiastic about writing it again <3

Welcome back, GoodCrimesWithMumscarian <3

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HI ACI I'M FINALLY GETTING TO THIS FJGHFJGFH

OKAY SO. lots to unpack here huh :3

I know I don't talk about it much since grian is my main guy but god mumbo.... mumbo in this au is heartbreaking to me, and I sincerely hope to explore that further in the second half of the series. we've gotten just about all of scar's story, but grian and mumbo are left a little more... unclear. though if anything we know more about grian than we do mumbo.

and if all goes according to plan, that Will change. there's a lot to be explored with mumbo; his past, his mental state, etc etc. poor guy is traumatized as hell and I've only just started to scratch the surface of it all.

(scar definitely keeps mumbo close because he wants to protect him. I tried to state that in the fic without explicitly going "yeah mumbo's been doing nothing bc scar is worried about cub getting to him.")

I had a feeling as soon as I mentioned a woman with brown hair in a cabinet that people would think it was pearl GHFHGJFH hence why I didn't give anything away until she met with grian <33 but yeah, thank GOD mumbo asked first, shot later jhgfjf

and yes, mumbo WILL kill you :3 I've got Plans(tm)

CAN I JUST SAY THE PAPERWORK SCENE FELT SO CATHARTIC TO WRITE???? like finally!!!!! the boys can flirt and be gay on main!!!!! they can be in love and be happy about it!!!!!! also grian being worried about mumbo was one of my favorite parts <3

AND LOOK. LOOK. I CALL MY PARTNERS LOVE. ITS MY CRIME FIC AND I GET TO PROJECT /lh GHFHGFJG but GOD I'm so weak for "love" as a term of endearment, it makes me waIL

finally, at the bread and butter of this entire thing. PEARL <3333 god I had to revise that scene of her and grian a few times because I wanted it to be perfect. I had certain points laid out for myself that I knew I wanted to hit (grian's guilt, how pearl escaped, impulse mention) and it took a few tries to get that right.

it was planned basically from the beginning for impulse to be the one to find pearl and take her in <3

but yeah, hehe, pearl and grian were THAT close to one another the whole time. pearl doesn't necessarily work for ren, so there was never all that high of a chance of her running into grian while doing smth for ren. but they were def closer than they originally thought.

they laugh because if they don't, they'll look at each other and sob. you nailed the laughter bit, yeah.

I think the thing I love about grian and pearl is that a lot of their life was led by guilt. for pearl it was guilt that she left grian behind, even though she promised to come back for him. for her it was her living a normal life with impulse, going to school, experiencing the life of a teenager, while grian was still suffering. she definitely had moments of "is this okay? am I allowed this while he's suffering?" and grian's guilt came from believing he was the reason she was killed. for years he thought her blood was on his hands. and despite feeling guilty for a different reason, he still asked those same questions, "is this okay? should I be allowed this when her death was my fault?"

...I am slowly coming to realize that the power of guilt is basically like an integral theme to this au huh.

ANYWAYS!!!!

eeeee I'm glad you liked it !!!!! :D I'm so happy to finally be able to share that pearl is in fact Not Dead, and now there's more to the au that I can discuss!!!! <3

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

Coming Home

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Captain America: The First Avenger

Pairing; 1940s!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary; Bucky finally reunites with you, safe and sound in your arms, after the gruesome war.

Word Count; 1969

Warnings; NSFW, 18+, minors DNI, mention of war and death, unprotected vaginal sex, mention of bodily fluids.

Authors Note; not everything may be accurate to the 1940s, war or Bucky’s story. My apologies! Enjoy loves <3

Main Masterlist || Bucky Barnes Masterlist

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All of your friends and family were mingling around the house, waiting for James to arrive through the front door at any minute now. It had been months since anyone saw him and people were more than excited to have him back home again. They were over the moon and thrilled that he had managed to survive the war and come home alive and well with all his limbs intact. There were so many brave soldiers coming home in caskets, their families forever in mourning at the loss of a loved one. All of you were so lucky that he was coming home in one piece.

It felt so familiar as you were sitting on the sofa waiting for him. Just like those months ago when you waited for him to come home with news of his enlistment but only this time you were waiting for him to come home safely to you.

“You alright, sweetie?” His mother questioned, taking a seat next to you as she saw you were deep in thoughts by yourself. A reassuring hand was placed on your shoulder as she gave a light squeeze. “I'm alright. I'm just so excited for James to come home finally. It's been half a year. I miss him dearly.” “Me too, sweetheart. It's going to be good to have my baby home again.”

Just then, the front door opened with no other than James walking through it, his uniform on, and a bag in hand. Everyone in the room gasped upon his arrival and then silent for a few long seconds. James didn't know what to do with himself while everyone kept staring at him. Like someone had flipped a switch, they all, at the same time, started clapping and hollering at him, finally being home again.

His mom, dad, and siblings were the first ones to hug and love him. Their son was home again, all in one piece. His mom was crying happy tears, and his dad kept telling him how proud he was of him. After that, it was everyone else's turn to greet and congratulate him.

You kept in the background, not knowing what to do with yourself. You were frozen. You couldn't move. Is this a trick? Is he really here, or was your mind playing a sick game with you. No. It was him, your loving husband, in the flesh.

He searched for you, his loving wife, that he had missed so much. His eyes were scanning the crowd of people that had gathered around him for any signs of you. Where were you? Why weren't you here to receive him?

That's when he finally caught your eye when a small gap was created in the crowd. Tears were streaming down your face as you held around yourself. Your mouth was opening and closing, but he could see that no words were coming out of it.

Without thinking, he went straight to where you were and stood just a few steps away. All you did was stare at one another for hours, it felt like. His own tears started to be produced at seeing you after so long.

“Bucky, it's you… You're here…?”

“I'm here, my love. I'm home.”

After such a long time without his touch, you finally felt whole again when he took those last steps towards you to wrap you tight and secure in his arms. That missing piece of you filled up with warmth and love at having him safe and sound by your side again.

It wasn't enough for both of you with only the arms enclosing each other. Your whole body wrapped itself around him as he held you up in his arms.

The other people left you to be for your little intimate reunion. Like this, you stayed for a few moments. Holding onto one another after such a long time.

“I missed you so much, my wife. Every second of every day, I thought about you. To be in this moment again in your lovely arms. To be this close once more.”

“Bucky, I missed you so much. My heart is finally whole again now with you here in my arms where you belong.”

The two of you were craving each other's lips after months apart. A whole series of pecks were left on one another to feel the comfort of your lips on each other. You stayed in your bubble for just a while longer. Caresses and comforting words left between you two before realization hit that you needed to join the others.

“I want to take you upstairs to our room and make love to you after so long, and I will tonight, my love. I'll give you all of me, but right now, we need to return to the others.”

As much as you wanted him to take you upstairs, he had a point. All of these people were here for him as well. It would be rude to leave them. After months apart, you could manage to survive a few more hours without him inside you.

The wait was painful as teasing words and touches were left on each other throughout the night. The longer it went on, the longer you became impatient and in desperate need for him, but you would have to suck it up for a while longer. The wait finally paid off when the last people to leave were his parents. A final hug and goodbye to James from them, and then he was all yours for the remainder of the night.

As soon as he closed the door on them, he spun around to be met with your presence a few inches away from him. In a flash, he had you wrap your legs around his waist as his lips moved hurriedly and messily against yours. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling and patting to keep him on your lips as long as possible.

The journey to the bedroom was a clumsy and messy one as you bumped into everything on your way. Stuff from shelves and the wall falling, but none of you cared. The clumsiness of it had both of you giggle out.

Your back came in contact with the mattress as Bucky set you down. His eyes admiring your form. Your dress was hiked up just a little, exposing your thighs to him that he loved to spend hours upon hours between. The sight of you had him inhale deep through his nose.

“You're so beautiful.”

He was quick to help in getting rid of your clothing as you did with him as well. Now just in your underwear, his lips returned to yours in desperation to feel them again. They moved downwards, your neck, breasts, stomach, and thigh, to worship all of you. As good as it felt and as much as you wanted him to continue with his journey to the final destination, you just wanted him right here, right now, Skip the overdrawn foreplay; even though you loved it to the fullest, you could do all of that later for all eternity. To explore each other and bring pleasure to one another with your mouths and fingers. But right now, you just needed his lips on yours as his hard length was driving itself in and out of you like only he knew how to.

“Bucky,” you grabbed the side of his head to lift his eyes towards yours, “as much as I want that, I need you even more inside me, baby, please.”

Your wish was his command. His lips traveled up the same way they had come down. He got rid of the last article of clothing from both of you. His length lined itself up with you, teasing your entrance, making you whimper out in complete neediness.

“Please, Bucky, I need you so bad.”

His forehead touched yours as your mouths were millimeters apart. Your hands holding his back to keep him flush with you, chest against chest.

“Do you remember that you wrote to be about wanting a baby?”

“Yes?”

“Do you still mean it? Do you want a baby?”

“I do, James. Please, I want a child with you so much.”

That was his cue to push the entirety of him into your tightness. He would give you a baby, as many as you want. The gasp you emitted when he filled you up spread out in the room.

He rocked your bodies against the covers as his dick continuously brushed your g-spot, which had you moan and whimper in pleasure. His own sounds escaped him when he felt you squeeze him a tad tighter. Lips lightly touched one another as your mouths were parted to let out pleasing sounds fill the whole room. You wrapped your legs around his middle part to force him more in you. You never wanted him ever to stop with his moves.

His lips moved down to your neck to kiss, lick and suck on your sensitive skin. A single tear ran down your cheeks, tears of happiness and fulfillment in having Bucky here with you and inside where he belonged.

Once he caught a glimpse of tears, he stopped his movements immediately, thinking that he did something wrong or something that hurt you.

“What is it, doll? Did I do something wrong? Do you want me to stop? Am I hurting you?”

“No!” You grabbed the side of his face and pulled him to you until your noses touched. “Nothing's wrong. I've just missed you so much, and it feels so good. Please don't stop, James; it feels so good.”

“I won't ever stop,” his movements gained momentum again as his hips slapped against you, “I'll never stop loving and making you feel so good, princess.”

You and he were close and connected in all the ways physically possible. It felt like cloud nine, and you never wanted ever to leave this moment.

His thrusts became more raged, more sloppy, which was an indication that he would finish inside you very soon. His lips left kisses everywhere. On your face, neck, and just about everywhere, his lips could reach. His thrusts, his lips, and the feel of him holding you so close had your back arch, and your eyelashes fluttered shut in total ecstasy.

“Are you close, doll?”

“Y-yes.”

“Let go for me. Let me feel you.”

You and he came together as you held each other close. His seed filled you up fully as your walls milked him for all he was worth; hopefully, a baby would come out of this. Moans of names and pleas filled the space as you rode out the high together.

After calming down for a while and getting your heart and breath under control, he pulled you to his side. Both of you kissing and caressing the skin of the other as you laid there in the bliss of the moment.

It was good to have your husband home again. To have him safe and sound in your arms where he belonged and what he called his home. He couldn't stop kissing you. Your lips were like a sweet drug for him that he would forever be addicted to.

“I love you, doll, so much.”

“I love you too, James, so much.”

The rest of the night was spent making love over and over again. The two of you had a lot of lost time to catch up on, so the comfort of your four-bedroom walls would be your home for the next few days as you caught up with one another. Talking, fucking, sleeping, comforting him after nightmares of the terrible and gruesome war was on the plan. Laughs, love, and kisses would be felt all around as well, as you kept yourselves in your safe little bubble.

Credit @ firefly-graphics for the wonderful divider

Thank you for reading <3 Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated if you liked it! As well as a reblog to share it with others!

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Marvel Taglist: @whothehellisbuckybarnes @x-goddess-of-nature-x @trulysuccubus @skyesthebomb @whoreforsamwilson @natashadeservedbetter @beth-winchester21 @soldierstucky @missswritings @sariche @claudiaatje @myakai13 @paintballkid711 @ttalisa @teti-menchon0604 @J-e-nster @-im-fantastic- @donut-crazs @tatestripedsweater @uraesthete @mae-black @midnightdragonzero @julia2000love @yvngzxx @midnightzonzz @kaystacks17 @missroro @living-that-best-life @alwaysclassyeagle @gaudy-butterfly @thisgirlisonfayeeer @amelia-song-pond @kaitieskidmore1 @keithseabrook27 @acciosiriusblack @purpleelfwizard @bloodrosefruy @angelhairpastauwu @turnerlvt1999 @cigarettesonmars

Bucky Barnes Taglist: @sirrwritesalots @academiawhore @feescher @doyoumindifislytherin-1 @yippikaiyaymotherfucker @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @hemsbucky @vibraniumredwing @90smalfoys @rosiebrands @falcvns @jazzseb11 @my-patronus-is-a-raptor @milkshakelol @maddnastyyyyy @obxcalm

Let me know if you want to be added/removed!

If your name is in bold it means I can’t tag you for some reason. My apologies!

[gh0stbunnii]

Bippity boppity boo

It's been a hot minute since I made my last post. Honestly forgot about tumblr in it's entirety.

To follow up on the last post, the reading is going well actually. I'm not doing a book a month like I said I would but I've been reading a lot more. I did read 8 books this year which my goal was 6. I have to say the one I enjoyed the most was "The Famoux" by Kassandra Tate.

I didn't realize it was a series so now I'm not so patiently awaiting the next 2 books.

My pretty little schedule I made lasted not even a week before I had my depression and apathy take over. I have been cleaning more regularly these last few weeks but it was certainly very bad for a while there.

The drawing and painting also left with the apathy and depression. I was trying to trace pictures to get a feel for drawing with a tablet instead of pen and paper but it ended up just making me feel phony and that I won't ever be able to draw something on my own.

I did end up participating in NANOWRIMO I got about 10k words in and couldn't do anymore which is fine but a little disappointing. Especially because everyone in my group I joined managed to hit the challenge or come incredibly close.

Absolutely did not limit my screen time. I tried for a while but my anxiety just gets too bad sometimes without a constant distraction like watching TV or doom scrolling.

While I haven't really started cooking I have been very open to trying lots of new things that I was terrified of eating when I was younger. I haven't liked all of them but that's okay because I tried them at least.

Haven't exercised a single day since the last post. I hate driving so much and the gym is on a very busy road that people almost get into accidents on every single day.

Saving money is hard around the holidays. Especially since I had to leave my shitty retail job as my manager was harassing me and no one would do anything about it.

I did manage to complete my pokedex in pokemon scarlet and that's the first time I've ever done that in a pokemon game so I was fairly proud of that.

LUNLUN'S READING CHALLENGE!

1. What are you reading now?

I'm actually reading 2 books right now which is gothic fiction Small Angels by Lauren Owen and contemporary fiction The Most Likely Club by Elyssa Friedland.

Small angels is about a young couple who want to come back to the MC's fiance's home town which is a very small village. She wants to have the wedding in the town church Small Angels, but unfortunately for her and everyone involved. The church and the woods right behind it are hella haunted. She really gets herself deep into this curse and is slowly losing her mind. I love the book but my moods are making it hard to get into. I'd say I'm 3/4 of the way through it.

The Most Likely Club is a much lighter and shorter read that I'm about half way through. The premise is that these best friends since they were children got superlatives in high school like "Most likely to be a doctor" and things like that. We're in present day now and none of them have truly lived up to what they thought was going to happen and others have had spectacularly terrible luck in life. So on their 25th high school reunion day they decide they are all going to do exactly what their superlatives were. Most Likely to Win the White House, Cure Cancer, Open a Michelin-Starred Restaurant, and Join the Forbes 400.

[hawksugarbaby]

Todoroki x reader- one hell of a reunion

Smut

Chapter included: hair pulling, loud sex, implications of cuckolding

Todoroki watched amused knowing it didn't matter who fucked you best, he loved you, and you loved him, it had been obvious since first year. He watched you be carried off by Kirishima on his shoulder and you cupped your hands around your mouth "YOUR A CUCKOLD!" you shouted to the heterochromatic and he shook his head. So immature. "I GET TO GO NEXT YOU FUCKING EXTRA'S!" "Kaachan the world doesn't revolve around you!" "QUIET DEKU"

The boys were gathered around a table staring at your silhouette talking to your former teachers who were asking about your studies in university. The hero course was having a reunion, 10 years after they left to go off on their own, some had gone straight to setting up their own agencies, some going on to be sidekicks for more popular heroes but you? You were a special case. You never cared for becoming a hero, mostly just following the path laid out for you by your mother so you decided that before you stepped into the mould created for you, you would go to university and study (f/s) much to your mother's dismay so that you had something to fall back on if you decided hero work wasn't for you.

You had always been attentive in class, never missing a note or a class and used all your free time to study, you were as sweet as a Carmel apple and always had a childlike innocence around you but it seemed like too much to many of the 1-A boys, even midoriya was sceptical of your innocence. Which led all the boys to tonight, each one determined to discover the real you. The girls always seemed oblivious to how sickly your personality was assuming it was just a purity no one else possessed but the boys knew it was saccharine.

"She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind closed doors she's latex and whips" kaminari took a swig off his spiked punch and all the boys nodded in agreement, well most of which. Todoroki didn't understand why everyone was so hung up on this, of course, you were the most gorgeous person in existence to him and your personality brought a liveliness to the room no one else could offer, so why did they want to discover if it was untrue? Why couldn't they let you just be sweet and innocent, honey voice and butterscotch smooth skin, you were so perfect. "Yeah, but how are any of us going to find that out?" Kirishima pondered and Mineta stepped into the conversation "didn't (y/n) have a huge crush on todoroki? Like unable to keep her eyes off him crush?"

The boys nodded remembering how often you had made conversation with him compared to the other boys and some scowled at the memory "but we don't know if she still does?" Kirishima added and midoriya cleared his throat grabbing the table's attention "your about to do some analysis shit aren't you" bakugo rolled his eyes and urged him on with his hand. "Sh-she's wearing red earrings and a silver necklace with red rubies in it the same as todoroki's hair, her dress is dark blue and silver like his hero costume and finally..." he pointed to your hand "she clearly has a shoto phone case and her ankle has a tattoo of a melting snowflake..."

The boys sat, stunned at Deku's analysis and todoroki turned a bright pink and drew his attention from you to the other boys at the table "I really don't want to be involved in this" he lied and a collective groan of annoyance was barely heard over the pulsing music "fine... but I have no idea what i'm doing so don't bla-" "just go you fucking lovesick puppy" bakugo pushed him forward and todoroki stumbled into the conversation with their old teachers.

You slowly turned to see him, your face slowly turning red from the unexpected intrusion of your longtime crush. "Ah! young todoroki, nice to see you join us!" all might grinned, his frail frame half the size of todoroki. "It's nice to see you too sir, I hope you're doing well," he said with a kind tone that made you swoon "hey todoroki, how's it going?" you asked hiding your nerves with a cheery tone, "i'm doing quite well, how are your studies going (y/n)?" he asked looking back to the table of boys who were staring intently at your conversation "they're going amazing! I never want to leave it's so fun and i'm learning so much" you gave a toothy grin and the boys at the table rolled their eyes not believing your desire to learn. "That's really good. I actually came over to ask if you wanted to dance?" he asked and pointed to the flashing dancefloor filled with students "wait you dance?" you giggled and he shrugged "not really but this punch is 100 per cent filled with alcohol" he chuckled and you chuckled waving goodbye to your teachers and getting swallowed in the crowd of dancing students.

At first, it was slightly awkward, neither of you sure how to approach each other but eventually you got more comfortable, the alcohol hitting your systems and the thumping music encouraging your bodies to move together "I never really took you as a reunions guy!" you shouted over the music "well there are some things I wanted to see again!" he shouted back, he gained some confidence twirling you so your back was facing him and he pulled you closer to him leaning into your shoulder "like what?" you grinned, grinding your ass against his crotch "mm, my dorm is looking pretty enticing right now?" he offered nibbling on the shell of your ear, he could see the boys watching with wide eyes and flushed faces out his peripherals and his hands travelled up your front resting just below the swell of your chest.

"Won't other people be living there?" you said reaching behind you to palm his hardening cock through his trousers making his face burn hotter than his flames "no, they scrapped the dorms once the league was disbanded, now they're all big empty buildings. But some of us asked to keep our rooms intact in case we need to do undercover work and can't stay in our homes" he explained and you nodded, swallowing thickly. His hot breath tickled your cheek and you span round wrapping one arm around his neck, the other continuing to palm his cock. "I see, and you just so happen to be one of those heroes?" you asked biting your lip, your eyes fell to his and he tilted your chin up looking at you with a soft smile but a deviousness glimmered in his lust glazed eyes "if you bite your lip one more time I'll bite it for you" he growled. His threatening words went straight to your throbbing cunt, his low voice making your stomach do flips.

"Let's check out that dorm room then huh?" you asked grabbing his collar and dragging him past the boy's table with an innocent wave. "I'll bring him back soon! I wanted to show todoroki something but I left it in my car" you fake pout and they slowly nod "and you need todoroki to go with you?" kaminari raised an eyebrow and tapped his foot "aw would you like to come too kaminari?" you teased glancing down for a split second before his mouth could open todoroki slammed the door open pushing you forward by the small of your back and a low growl urged you forward. "Sorry, maybe you'll take me up on that later" you shout "no she won't" todoroki argued and you left the building with a chuckle.

It was a good 5-minute walk to the UA dorms, the cold evening air flew through you and the lamplight glowed signalling moths to meet their burning demise. You opened the heavy door and you switched the unused lights on. The floorboards groaned and cobwebs lived in the corners stringing across the windows, the room smelled old and musky but the familiar memories of Christmas on the couch lived on as visions. He quickly led you to his room and opened the much more pristine door, his room was cleaner than the rest of the house and his bedsheets were folded neatly at the end of the bed. "Come here often?" you joked and he shrugged not fully understanding.

You didn't bother locking the door, no one else would be around anyway and you tugged the hem of his shirt "impatient are you?" he chuckled and pulled his shirt over his head throwing it in the corner. "Why would you ever think such a thing?" you gasped and stepped out of your dress kicking it near his shirt and you lay sprawled on his bed on your stomach "the fact you're already on the bed for me is a sure sign" he chuckled lowly and kneeled between your leg's rubbing you through your soaked panties "your dripping wet for me (y/n)," he said bringing his fingers to his mouth and sucking your juices off his fingers. He made quick work of your underwear and rubbed your clit slowly making you groan, your hips bucked and he snickered "you're so desperate, you look so pretty all laid out for me like this" he complimented and you bit your lip squeezing your eyes shut burying your face in his pillow.

He spread your legs further and pushed 2 fingers into your sopping cunt. They slipped in easily but it was a tight fit, your sighs were swallowed by the pillow and he drank in the sight in front of him appreciating the art that was your body. He moved his calloused fingers quickly dragging his fingers along your walls and flicked his thumb over your clit. He left wet kisses along your spine and nibbled on the lobe of your ear, your whines raised in pitch as he moved his fingers faster inside your hole, your slick dripping down his hands and he groaned at the sight. He fisted his throbbing hard cock with his other hand each moan and whimper going straight to his dick "do you think you can handle a third baby girl?" he asked. You mewled savouring the sounds of your new nickname "no but do it anyway" you urged.

Your conflicting words made him hesitate but he slid a third finger into your soaked pussy. It was incredibly tight, his fingers stretched you out more than you thought and you cried your hands fisted the pillows and he moved his fingers agonizingly slow but his thumb circled your clit at incredible speed. "Holy shit todo i'm cumming" you screeched fucking yourself on his fingers as he pumped them slowly. you convulsed under him and came all over his fingers, a sight etched into his memory eternally. "Look at that" he chuckled sticking his fingers out in front of you to clean them off, you swirled your tongue around his digits tasting yourself as he lined his cock up with your entrance.

The tip of his erection blushed pink and gleamed with the beads of precum pearling at the tip "are you on the pill?" he asked and you nodded. He guided his throbbing cock into your pussy and he groaned feeling the warmth swallow his rational thought "holy fuck" he groaned staying still for a minute "are you okay todo?" you asked, turning your head to see him better "y-your just really warm 'nd you're so fucking tight" his words left goosebumps on your skin and you gripped the bedsheets "god, fuck please move todoroki I need you so much" you begged, tears welling in your eyes and black drips of mascara smeared on the pillow.

He calmed his shallow breathing and began thrusting at a relatively slow pace. His hands gripped your hair and pulled slightly "ah! Todoroki! F-fuck please go faster" you cried moaning loudly. All your highschool fantasies paled in comparison to what was happening. He sped up his thrusts keeping his grip on your hair and you moved your hips back fucking yourself on his cock while he thrust quickly. He pulled your hair and a carnal moan was ripped from you, he had to stop and use all his will not to cum right then and there. That sound. That moan. He caused that just by...

he yanked your hair and you cried out again, the sensation was thrilling, your chest being pulled up and hair being pulled, it hurt, your ribs and stomach burned but it felt so good having him pull you back with just his hand, strings of moans escaped your lips and he licked his lips "you like that?" he asked and your heaved breaths were interrupted with soft whines "yes fuck yes please fuck me harder todo" you pleaded and his eyes shot open. His grip on your hair tightened and he slammed his cock back into you, he tugged your hair straining your neck as he pounded ruthlessly into your soaking cunt. He wore a shit-eating smirk excited about this new discovery, he leaned forward pulling you back like your hair was a leash and whispered and your ear "I can't wait to tell the rest of the boys about how good I fucked you, they'll never even get to experience it" his words made you tremble the pleasure he inflicted in your body bubbling in your stomach, your juices dribbled down his cock.

"Oh I don't know, kaminari might take me up on the offer" you teased, sewing seeds of jealousy under his skin, he growled his grip on your hair tightening with a vicious glare. His dual coloured eyes nearly swallowed by his pupils and he angled his cock so he was hitting your g-spot. The sounds coming from you were lewder than anything he had imagined, your moans filled the dorms the squelching sounds and the skin slapping on skin echoed in a perfect rhythm. "You think kaminari could fuck you like this babygirl?" he snarled (yes) moving his other hand to your clit flicking his thumb over it quickly and you gasped followed by a mewl "NO! God fuck no todoroki no one can fuck me like you do!" you bit your lip holding back your moans "what did I say about you biting your lip" he growled and turned your neck forcefully capturing your lips in his.

His teeth grazed your bottom lip and you moaned into his mouth. The sensation of him pulling your hair, biting your lip, and slamming his hips against yours, fucking you so carelessly became too much and you erupted. A sinful moan fell from your lips and a pathetic whimper of his name hung on the tip of your tongue, your mouth hung open and your eyes rolled back the rest of your body fell forward, suspended by his hand grasping your hair as you came on his cock. His fingers collected some of your cum and he sucked the nectar from his fingers. You uttered a string of curses as he continued fucking himself into your overstimulated cunt.

He buried his length inside of you and released with a guttural moan shooting thick ropes of cum inside you. He stilled catching his breath before pulling out and tucking his flaccid cock back into his boxers. He looked at you fucked out on the bed and chuckled lowly "was that good (y/n)?" he said wrapping his hand in your hair and pulling you back once again. You purred and attempted a nod "i'm babygirl now sorry I don't know who (y/n) is" your scratchy voice cracked, throat raw from screaming and he smirked "mhm you fucked me so good" you continued and pointed to your dress. "Wait you want to go back to the party?" he asked looking at the raving lights of hall Gamma through his window "mhm" you confirmed and attempted to stand only to collapse back onto the floor "I don't know how much more "dancing" I'll be doing though" you chuckled.

He handed you your dress and panties then a thought crossed his mind and he snatched his panties back off of you. Stuffing them in his pocket. "Todoroki... I need those back" you emphasised the need showing off your red pussy dripping with your combined cum "no I don't think you do" he gave you a lopsided grin and zipped your dress back up for you "you have to go through the rest of the party like this" he said and you panicked "consider it a punishment for flirting with kaminari" he growled and picked you up hoisting you onto his back, not caring about how much mess got on his shirt, he could just cover the mess with his jacket when he got back.

He set you down when you reached the doors and put his arms through his suit jacket to hide the wet patch on his shirt. He helped you into the building no one paying attention to your entrance except the table of boys who had been waiting impatiently for an hour and a half. All fantasising about what you were doing with todoroki, each wishing it was them, all hiding their lap with their jackets. They looked you up and down sucking in a breath at the sight of your exasperated form, completely fucked out and hanging onto todoroki like he was life support, all eyes especially attracted to the white fluid trickling down your leg.

Todoroki set you on the booth seat with the rest of the table and you prayed they don't put the UV lights on you curled up and pulled your fur jacket over your legs so no one would see the mess under your dress. "None of you. Will ever be able to fuck me like that" you pointed to the boys who collectively smirked "that sounds like a challenge sweet cheeks" bakugo's hands popped singing his suit jacket. You sat up slowly and squinted your eyes sizing them up. "Bring it" you muttered and it was a race to get to you first.

[kuronanox]

Childhood promises - Hisagi Shuhei

"Shuhei wake up! It's snowing!" (Your Name) says putting on her torn up shoes while running outside. Rukongai in the winter was harsh and they were poor but it didn't mean they weren't happy.

"I'm coming!" He calls out putting on his robe and touching the white floor.

She was playing with the snow and smiling. He shyly watched. "Come on!" She yelled out and grabbed his hand.

"Ahh!" He protested and stood next to her and she smiled.

"Let's make something!"

They made a snowman and laughed as it fell apart from their poor attempt of it.

"I'm hungry (Your Name)." He says clutching his stomach.

With a worried face she walks back into their house and looks at what they had left. "Here eat this."

It was the last of their rice balls they had.

"But you won't be able to have any."

(Your Name) smiles and gives it to Shuhei anyways. "It's okay eat it."

Looking at the rice ball he broke it in half.

"Thanks." She smiles and eats it in one bite.

Shuhei zones out in the office and smiles sadly to himself. He had missed (Your Name) deeply and regret being a weak friend at the time.

He remembered he thought of her as family, they had no one. Although she was 5 years older than him (Your Name) worked hard for them.

Shuhei remember she worked at a small stall in rukongai and she made enough money for them to live enough to survive. Although they starved from time to time they were happy.

Kensei walks in with papers and places them on Shuhei desk. "Need these done by tomorrow."

"Okay Captain."

Kensei stares at Shuhei and walks out the office. He noticed that his Vice Captain had been spacing out recently but he didn't want to push any matters that were unnecessary.

"Are you okay (Your Name)?" Shuhei asks with teary eyes as he watched her wrapped a cut she got from work that day. "I'm okay thanks."

She smiles and sets down some hot soup she warmed up, although there was no rice today.

"What did you do while I was gone?"

"I played out in the fields with some friends."

"Fun, I'm glad you made it back safe."

"Actually... we were almost killed by a hollow."

"What?! Shuhei you could have gotten killed!"

He looks down and starts to cry. "I know, I'm sorry I was so scared. I couldn't do nothing. It was so big and strong. I didn't want to leave you either."

(Your Name) pulls him to an embrace like a mother would and kissed his head. "It's okay you are safe now."

"I met a Captain, and he saved my life. It made me realize that I wanna be a Shinigami when I'm older. I can take care of us and get strong!"

(Your Name) laughs and ruffle his messy hair. "Okay one day, promise me."

"I promise!"

The next morning they were rudely awakened when their door was knocked down and a group of men came in.

Shuhei eyes frighten as (Your Name) became alert and pulled him behind her.

"Your the bitch that sold us the fake metal." One said and grabbed her harshly.

"(Your Name)!" Shuhei yells and runs after her but she stops him.

"Don't come after me!"

He panics and watches as she struggles to get off the grip of the men. They were dragging her somewhere unknown.

"Leave her alone!" Shuhei screams and grabs the stick to hit the men.

Shuhei was sent flying a few feet in the air as they punched him and his nose bleed. He wanted to cry but he was losing (Your Name).

As they dragged her off Shuhei was left with one other dude as he beat Shuhei black and purple.

Lying on the floor (Your Name) was out of sight as he cried and ran to find her.

He screamed and fell to the ground.

Shuhei grips his hand in a fist as he laid in bed looking at the ceiling. He thought about (Your Name) wondering if she ever survived.

Rubbing his eyes he pushed the tears threatening to fall. She had sacrificed everything for them and he couldn't even save her that day.

The next morning Shuhei walked into the publishing office and greeted everyone with a smile. It was a new day and new opportunities waited for him.

"Me and Renji are giving some rookies a tour of Soul Society wanna join me?" Kira asks him as Shuhei had to pass. "Um nah seems kinda boring but good luck though!"

(Your Name) ended up stuck with a group of new comers like her as they toured the place, the blonde dude was kinda bland and gloomy but he showed everyone the important stuff which was the only thing that mattered.

"What squad do you wanna join?" A girl as her as she looked around amazed at the place.

"I'm not sure yet! I guess any that accepts me!"

Passing all the barracks Kira goes into the editing room. "And this is where we publish all the paper work, stories and headlines. The head of editor and chief is Lieutenant of Squad 9."

Shuhei greets everyone and smiles talking about how fun and hard working the publishers are.

(Your Name) looks at him with confusion. He didn't state his name but he looked familiar to her. "My name is Hisagi Shuhei! I can't wait to see what squad everyone joins!"

"What a minute? That's!"

"Okay everyone follow me." Kira boringly says and walks them out as she turns to find Shuhei but he was already gone talking to a few coworkers.

"I guess I'll catch up to him at another time. He's so grown now."

She smiles knowing that he successfully took care of himself. Although the scar and 69 was new.

"(Your Name)?" Shuhei calls out as she washes the rice for them that night.

"Yes?"

"Will you ever leave me for someone else?"

She tilted her head in confusion and laughs. "What do you mean?"

"Like if a guy came and you liked him."

"No silly, we have each other."

"Promise?"

"I promise! Trust me when you get older all the ladies will swoon for you."

"He's so hot!" A few girls giggled to themselves as they continued the tour.

By night time came they entered a dorm place for all new comers. Tomorrow was the day that they picked their squad whether they wanted to be in it or not.

(Your Name) was placed under the 6th squad, which to her seem pretty good because her Captain was a noble and everyone seemed fairly strong. Although she wasn't nearly as good as a seated officer she didn't mind working her way up.

"Abarai Fukutaicho?" She calls out one day as he turns to her. "Um? Do you know where I can talk to Shuhei?"

"Uh?? You mean like the Lieutenant from squad 9? Are y'all close like that?"

"Yes, I'm his childhood friend. We lost contact a long time ago but I just found him."

Renji was bewildered, he didn't know much about Shuhei past but it sounded a lot like him and Rukia so he couldn't reject her.

"Yeah I'll let him know."

Shuhei was in the middle of a rush when Renji walked in. "Yo! Someone was asking for you!"

"Not now! I'm kinda busy." Shuhei states skimming through the papers rangiku messed up on.

"It's (Your Name) she really wants to see you." Renji says as Shuhei drops the papers and looks up shocked. "You mean it?!"

"Yes, like she's in my squad and everything."

"Where?! Where is she!" Shuhei yells with a big smile on his face as he gets up from his desk.

"Woah woah calm down!" She's over at the fields training-" without letting Renji finish his sentence he made a run for it.

Renji smiles and scoffs. He was happy knowing that the reunion was going to be a good one.

Shuhei saw her with her sword training hard as she sweated and concentrated on her spiritual energy. "(Your Name)!" He yells out as she turns to him.

She smiles and ran towards him as they pull each other in a embrace.

"Shuhei! You're so grown now!" She says and he crushes her with his inhuman strength now. "Well you're so tiny!"

They let go as they both couldn't stop smiling. "How?" He says as she sat on the grass as he took a seat next to her.

"Remember when they took me, I managed to escape but we were so far away I couldn't find the way back home."

Shuhei groans and looks down. "If only I was strong back then, I would have saved you."

"It's fine, you were a kid. I don't blame you."

He smiles softly as she touches his face and he starts to blush. "What happen to your face?" She asks with concern.

"Don't worry, just battles and the 69 is something I got from the man that saved my life. He's actually my captain now."

She laughs and lets go. "Well you succeeded, now you can protect me from now on."

2 years later

"Why don't you tell her!" Hinamori pouts at Shuhei trying to push him into the restaurant.

"Be-because it's weird! She was like an older sister to me."

"But you like her right?" Rangiku jumps in unintentionally popping her breast out as Shuhei looks away in awkwardness.

"Better tell her before someone else beats you to it." Kira adds looking into the restaurant spotting (Your Name) dressed in a nice kimono waiting for a certain childhood friend.

"Come on! Renji even asked Kuchiki Taicho to reserve the best restaurant in Seireitei right now!" Hinamori says making Shuhei feel a bit guilty that Renji made the effort to beg his captain.

"Oh fine fine fine! I was going to do it my own pace but since everyone is telling me to."

Shuhei takes a deep breath and enters the restaurant.

"Shuhei!" She calls and waves him over.

"Sorry I'm late, how was your day?"

"It was good! I can't believe you got a place like this for us!"

Shuhei sweats a bit and drinks some water before answering. "Yeah me too."

"Ahh little Shuhei is so handsome now." (Your Name) smiles and push the messy part front of his hair away from his eyes.

He blushes and grabs her hands with his. "You've grown to a fine lady also... but you kept your promise."

"What promise?"

"Remember when we were little, I didn't want you to leave me for another man."

(Your Name) laughs and covers her mouth with her free hand and tighten her grip with his hand.

"Of course, why would I want anyone else?"

"I wouldn't want anyone else but you (Your Name)." Shuhei confesses as she drops her smile.

They had been through so much she could see a life with him and he could see a future with her. A future with laughter and happiness where they no longer starved or lived poor.

"I'm making enough money for us and I'm strong enough to protect you now. That means I'm the man I told you I wanted to be and the man you deserve to have."

She chuckles and set their hands down on the table as she rubs it softly.

"Always, I don't see why we wouldn't work out. The future tied us back together."

Shuhei grins like the child he once use to be and boldly kisses her from across the table.

"I've been waiting for this for years, our first kiss."

"And many to come." (Your Name) adds with a blush.

[levinneheart]

Never loved you

Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader (College AU)

Warning/s: Characters are 20+; slight IzuOcha ship; Fluff; Angst; implied Depression; may or may not been based on experience

And yes, the title is a Song by Evie Clair. You’re quirk is smth to do w/ Empath and it’s not hero material by norms.

You never expect to encounter him. Out of all the people you could’ve met, you didn’t believe you that you could met him online out of all the places.

It started when you became friends with a group of talented singers and musicians as you also joined into the fun – abeit not as talented as them, you tried your best and put your all into it. Not long after that, you began knowing the group which consists of all the previous students of Class 1-A and some other students of UA and soon, Mina invited you to join their group as an “honorary member” as you lived in another country which you gladly accepted.

Sometimes, you would join the voice call and be overwhelmed by the amount of voices blasting in your earphone. Sometimes, you would listen silently as everyone talked over each other while Bakugou screamed and make small explosions that literally makes everyone deaf. Rip earphone users. You loved and treasured these moments with them, although you didn’t know what they looked like.

It wasn’t until he joined that made you the happiest. You were currently teasing Midoriya and Uraraka, saying they were cute crushing on each other, much to Uraraka’s denial and Midoriya’s stuttering. Chuckling, you continue with your impromptu storytelling of their love blossoming until both of them are beyond speechless. You decided to stop when Bakugou joined the conversation.

“Yo, Mina invited other damn extra!” he informed in his usual loud voice.

“Kaachan, you shouldn’t talk to Shinsou like that! He’s listening you know!” Midoriya scolded softly.

You checked and someone was listening in, they had a cat picture as a profile pic and you couldn’t helped but smack yourself in embarrassment as you didn’t noticed earlier while Bakugou and Midoriya beefed it out in the voice chat. You muted them, not wanting to hear they’re yelling of being the no. 1 hero.

“I agree with you btw.” chatted the one with cat pic. “It’s so obvious, it makes me roll my eyes that they remain oblivious to each other’s feelings.”

“IKR!” You typed back, forgetting your embarrassment.

“You’re not from UA, are you?”

“No. Actually, I’m just an honorary member as Mina says since I live miles away haha.”

“I see. I’m Shinsou, Shinsou Hitoshi btw.”

“(l/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!”

You didn’t know how it happened but you felt an instant connection to him and you two hitted it off from then. You two would always chat in your private message and it quickly became unnoticed by the others, they even started to ship is and make an official name for the ship. You played oblivious as did he, although both of you already know about it.

After two weeks, he called you bb and you couldn’t helped but blush before awkwardly telling him: you really really liked him. At first, he didn’t say anything so you were half-expecting him to reject you and that’ll be it. But surprised, he told you: he liked you back. However you both decided that it’s too early for a relationship so you two now have a peace of mind that at least the other feels the same way.

It was fun, interacting with him, sending him uwus and heart memes, etc. You learned that he’s working as a pro hero while you studied in university. You learned he’s a gamer who sings, plays the guitar and ukulele ngl i can honesty see this as canon. And he plays basketball and soccer just pretend sksksksksk.

You two would schedule voice calls as you both were busy, it would always play out as – you would come home late and wait for him to get out of work as you two chatted away before actually getting in the call once he’s home. You would usually ask about he’s day and about his job and he’d reply with his usual deep tired voice that you’ve grown to love curses my deep voice kink.

This went for two months. Until one night while you were staying up late studying, he chatted your name. This was the first time he called you by your real name, usually he would call you by your username or “bb” as usual so this sudden change set butterflies in your stomach.

“Yes, Toshi?” you replied before teasingly sent, “This is the 1st time you called me by my name haha.”

“I wanted to tell you something important so I thought it’d catch your attention.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I love you.”

Without thinking you typed, “I love you too.” and sent it before realizing what he meant. “Do you meant that as a friend?” You immediately sent.

“Do you want me to say that?”

You blushed hard, you can imagine him chuckling at your stupid question. “Uhhh no??? Idk??? You’re not joking, right??”

“I wouldn’t have said it, if I didn’t mean it.”

“Really?” You couldn’t believe it so you just had to ask.

“Yes.”

“Tell it to me again plz 🥺👉👈.”

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Toshi.”

“In advance, I’m so sorry for being a weirdo.”

“But you’re my weirdo.”

Cue squealing. But after that, it went spiraling down. A month and a week went by without communication from him; no updates, no greetings, no nothing. You decided to confront him about your concerns. You understand that he’s busy at work and you were always supportive and understanding at his job were his top priority.

But couldn’t he at least spare you a few minutes of his free time, maybe when he woke up or during his breaks. You didn’t ask for more so you were slightly disappointed with him as it worried you that he worked 6am-2am everday without holiday breaks besides Nov.1-2.

You voiced those concerns to him, he apologized and you forgave him. But this behavior of his continued on and this made you sad, other would say you’re depressed but you were too occupied with thoughts of him; his voice; the feeling he gave you, etc.

For another month and three days, you confront him again but this time he left your pm and blocked you. You panicked as negative thoughts flooding your mind.

Did you do anything wrong? You weren’t too clingy, right? Your chat wasn’t too honest, right?

You somehow managed to calm your mind after a couple of minutes and through logical evaluation and elimination, you concluded that you didn’t do anything wrong. But the questions remain: Why did he leave? Why did he blocked you?

For the longest time, you couldn’t answer that. You spend your time drifting off from reality and to your memories with Toshi while day-by-by you lessen your interactions with your online friends, seemingly just vanishing from thin air.

You felt empty, a void of loneliness filled you as you went your way through your own life, not knowing what to do with yourself or even feel. Why did it come to this? Everything went fine, you two were happy so why? Why did he suddenly leave you all alone like that?

———————————————————————

Today was the reunion of UA batch [number]. Shinsou stood in the far corner of the Gym Gamma, his back leaning against the wall as he observed everyone and everything. He noticed an unfamiliar yet familiar (h/c) locks, he watch as you talked with Sero, Tokoyami, Shouji, and Ojirou. You were especially close to Ojirou, you practically by his side with your arm linked with his.

He didn’t know why he was growing irritated and angry at sight of you being in someone else’s arms when he damn well know that you deserve to move on after what he’d done to you after all those three years but still… He had hoped that you actually waited for him.

You were suddenly called by Kirishima as you leaned towards Ojirou and whispered a soft ‘see you’ before walking towards to him.

“(Y/n)-chan! I want you to meet someone!” He said as he dragged you towards where a lone lavender haired man stood before running away. You opened your mouth to objects but it was already too late, he was gone. You looked at the stranger and felt that same connection when you met him, you knew. Although not having to see his face, you just knew that it was him: Shinsou.

“(L/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!” You cheered brightly, just like when you first introduced yourself to him.

“I know.” he replied. “I’m Shinsou Hitoshi.” God, why I am so lame. He thought.

“Oh! Nice to finally and officially meet you, Shinsou-san!” You smiled as you raised your glass towards him.

Why did you have to call him like a stranger? And not the usual ‘Toshi’ you would always call him?

He clicked his glass with yours and took a sip as his eyes spotted a shiny accessory on your ring finger, making his heart froze. That’s why. You were engaged. Of course, why wouldn’t you be? You were ever so patient, understanding and supportive. It didn’t even surprise him.

When you finished you glass, you excused yourself as Jirou announces the last song for tonight that is written by the guess before she yelled out your name and you climbed up the stage.

“Love do you know?

We've been growing apart

And you should know

That for me that's hard

Darling I'm scared if I let you go, oh

This will be goodbye for good

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’

And I won't say

That I knew it from the start

So you can say

That we weren't torn apart

'Cause for me, oh it's easier to bleed, oh

When I know you can sleep so I keep telling myself

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

I feel numb when the drums slow down

Oh, leave me dumb so I can't tell myself

Myself, oh

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

I already know that it just isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’.”

Part 2, maybe???

[lovemalecforever]

Chapter 6

Lightwoods Reunion

The golden rays of the morning sun shone through the windows into their room, breaking the darkness and making it naturally bright.

Alec stirred when the rays fell on his face. He opened his sleepy eyes, only to find a hand tightly wrapped around his waist, a face buried in his chest and their legs entangled with each other. A warm smile crept on his face as he carefully untangled himself, making sure not to wake his precious warlock then left for the bathroom.

When Magnus didn't find the warm body beside him, he stirred and slowly woke up. Noticing that the other side of the bed was empty he started to panic but the sound of running water made him relaxed. Turning on his side, he gazed out of the window, the golden rays encaptivating his mind as he got lost in his deep thoughts.

Fifteen minutes later, Alec walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his lower body and hair wet, leaned down, and pecked Magnus on the temple.

"Morning love."

"Morning darling!" Magnus sat upright, leaned up, and pouted, earning a soft kiss over his pouting lips. While cherishing those lips he snapped his fingers and vanished the towel earning a cute yelp from his shadowhunter.

"Magnus!"

Magnus grinned and pulled his husband down, locking their lips in a hungry kiss. "Stay...."

"Sorry love, as much as I love that I'm getting late."

"Please?"

A sad smile formed on Alec's lips. "I can't, Magnus. I want to, but I really can't."

Magnus sighed. "Okay... I'll prepare breakfast then while you get ready."

"I'll have it at the Institute, I'm running late." He quickly got dressed with the help of his shadowhunter speed as he was actually getting late.

"When did you-"

"Shadowhunter!" Magnus looked at him wide-eyed then sighed.

"Sorry love, I'll see you tonight, bye." he planted a soft kiss on the top of his head then rushed out of the flat.

Magnus gazed out of the bedroom as he remembered the nightmare he had. The nightmare which turned true a month ago, the day when Alec almost died. If Jace and Isabelle hadn't reached on time, he would have lost his Alexander forever. He felt useless that he wasn't able to help him. He was in his arms, dying, and he couldn't do anything.

Tears started forming in the back of his eyes, he sighed and closed his eyes and a few drops fell on his cheeks.

*********************

When Alec reached the Institute he went to the institute's library straight ahead, telling everyone that it was important and not to disturb him when in reality he was researching further about the immortality spell and Kasper Windermere. He found a few books and took them to his office.

*Time Skip/ Few hours later*

Alec was in his office reading those books and researching more about them when he heard a soft click of heels approaching his office. A smile formed on his lips at the familiar sound.

"Hello, big brother!" Izzy said as she walked inside the office.

"Izzy!" he got up and embraced his sister in a tight hug.

"So! Hiding things from Magnus? You think that's gonna work out?" she asked when they broke the hug.

"It's working fine till now!" he shrugged earning a glare.

"What!?"

"That's why you need me to cover up for you?" She raised her brow and crossed her arms above her chest.

Alec bit his lip and sighed. "Fine Izzy! You know I'm not good at surprises, but I really want to this time. And... well it's not that I'm not getting help... So..."

"And who is that apart from me?" She said trying to sound upset.

"It's Catarina."

"Oh! Okay, so what are you planning Alec? Spill it..." Alec was about to say something when she spoke again, rearranging all the documents that were kept on his desk simultaneously. "So much paperwork... Don't you get tired, big brother?"

Alec froze when she picked the documentations on Kasper.

"Izzy! No! That's not..." Izzy's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped on the floor. "Ahhh..... Um mm... Paperworks." He stuttered and his heartbeats quickened as he witnessed millions of emotions flashing on his sister's face within a second.

He waited for her response, but when the silence got the better of him, he cleared his throat, his heart ready to leap out of his chest at any moment. "Uh... Izzy? Please say something!" this wasn't in the plan of events and the silence was getting under his skin.

"Alec! You want to become immortal!?"

"y...yes...."

"Oh! By the angel!" She shrieked, ran towards Alec, and hugged him tightly.

Alec breathed out with relief but was confused at the same time. "Iz! You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad, Alec? Yes, I'm a little shocked, but if that's what you want, you know I'm always there for you." she pulled out of the hug, tiptoed, and pecked his cheek.

"Thank you, Izzy! It means a lot."

"Is THIS your big surprise for him?" She asked teasingly.

"There are few more but yes."

She raised her brow as she kept examining the documentations. "More?"

"Yeah! I'm thinking about a dinner surprise, a gift with an anniversary card, and a photo frame with all the pics of our anniversaries starting from our wedding collaged together."

Izzy's jaw was dropped on the floor yet again.

"Who are you and what have you done to my brother!!??"

"I'm Alexander Lightwood Bane and well, Magnus Bane happened!"

Izzy laughed. "Hmm... Magnus got you good then, big brother."

She shuffled through some papers for some time then spoke again. "A half angel and half Shadowhunter? Aren't you that already?"

"Well yes but not literally, I'm mortal, I'm not literally an angel!"

"How exactly have you came up with this Alec?"

"You know what happened a month ago, Izzy. I... Magnus is not doing well since then. He cries behind my back, he's not happy even when he shows he is. he gets nightmares of the day. I didn't know at first, he tried hiding it from me but when it started getting worse I made him talk to me, that's when he told me about them. He still gets them, pretends that he's completely fine, but I know he's not. I know he's worried about me dying one day, and I am not able to see him like this, this weak, this is not the Magnus I know, I want to do something for him." He paused for a minute then spoke again.

"I'm researching about becoming immortal since the time I heard him crying and saying how miserable he will be if I die. I thought about talking to him but when I noticed him pushing me away I knew he'll become more secretive if I did, which will end up in him getting more hurt than he is now. And well, when I read about the half angel and half Shadowhunter thing, I was sure I wanted to do it as by this spell," he pointed towards the stack of papers "I will be what I am, and I'll provide Magnus what he wants. All I want is for him to be happy. No matter what it takes."

Izzy listened to him carefully, completely awestruck by his love for Magnus. "You know what big brother, Magnus is a hell of a lucky man to have you in his life. If he'll ever hurt you I swear-"

"Iz!"

"Relax Alec, you know I love you both!"

Alec simply shook his head, sighed, and leaned against the desk.

"When are going to tell everyone about it?" she questioned further.

"Once I'll gather the information about the complete spell and how to perform it I'll ask everyone, Catarina is looking wherever she can, and I'm looking at the library and wherever possible."

"So you didn't plan on telling me about it today?" She gestured towards his desk.

"Umm... No, but I'm glad I did."

A warm smile appeared on Izzy's face. "Well, where are we going for lunch?"

He glanced at the time, noticing that it's past 12 already. "Wherever you want."

"Simon took me to a great restaurant here, let's head there, It's an amazing place."

They headed towards the restaurant Izzy had told him, ordered their food, and to Alec's surprise, he actually liked it and thought about coming with Magnus once.

"So apart from becoming immortal, what other things are you planning? And how can I help?"

"I want to plan a surprise dinner by the lakeside of Lynn and since Magnus is Indonesian, I want the whole menu to be Indonesian and all the decorations in the way he likes."

"Hmm... I can arrange that, plus the photo frame too... me and Clary can prepare it perfectly."

Alec cocked up his brow at that. "Don't worry big brother, we won't disappoint. What about the gift you were talking about?"

"I wanted to make the gift after becoming immortal, well, since you were the weapons head, I was thinking if you could do it?"

"Me? Oh! By the angel! What is it?" She squealed.

Alec shook his head at her excitement.

"You know Magnus and his love for jewellery, I was thinking a set of 3 diamond rings joined together with silver chains with small cut emeralds on it, the first and third sitting on the base of the fingers, the second one on the middle part of the finger, with the words FOREVER YOUR MLB engraved on each ring separately on top and AKU CINTA KAMU on bottom of the ring, each letter having small cut diamonds on it. Can you do it?"

Izzy's jaw was dropped on the floor for the third time that day and this time, literally. She was staring at her brother wide-eyed.

"Hey! Close your mouth little sister!" He put his fingers below her chin and closed her mouth shut. She blinked twice before speaking again.

"Alec! Are you all right! Is it really you!?"

"Isabelle Lightwood! Yes, it's me, and can you do it? Or I have to look for someone else!"

"By the angel! What has Magnus done to you!? I need to have a talk with him. And yes I'll do it, don't worry."

He laughed hard at her remark. "Thank you, Izzy!" He said in between the laughs.

"Stop laughing Alec!" She hit him gently on his arms.

"Well, how is Simon then? How's his training going?"

"He's doing good, you know what, he had beaten Jace 3 times last week with seraph daggers. I'm really proud of him."

The twinkle in her eyes didn't go unnoticed and a warm smile formed on his lips. He was glad that Simon was the best man to enter his sister's life, no matter how annoying that vampire was. "I'm happy that you're happy Izzy."

"Thank you, big brother!"

They finished the rest of the lunch in silence or chatting about random things and finally left for the Institute.

Alec felt really nice to have his sister beside him and not judging him for his choice to become immortal. He prayed that everyone would react the same. He went to his office and got back on researching for the complete spell, the sooner the better.

[madsmikkelsenschesthair]

I’m sorry... ch.4 (Final chapter unless I decide there’s an epilogue)

A/N: woooo! Finally chapter of this mini series! I want to write an epilogue but uh...I don’t think I will since after this it will just be OC. Anywho, thank you so much for reading!!!

Warnings: traumatic birth, violence, death, angst, fluff

Pairings: General Hux x Reader and Kylo Ren x Reader

Y/N sighed as she looked out the window into the world beyond her. She was alone in her and Kylo's quarters; only the sound of the refrigerator could be heard and the wind outside rattling the windows. She was watching the world outside to pass the time, what else could she do? Armitage had sent her to her quarters and wouldn't explain why.

"Just stay there until either I or Ren come get you" he said. His face was paler than usual and he looked afraid. Terrified. What was going on?

And where was her husband?

Ben.

Y/N looked around the room, alarmed her eyes wide with fear looking at the door as if Ben was going to come bursting through the door at any moment. A kick coming from her womb broke silenced her thoughts, she looked down at her swollen belly and caressed it.

"I know," she whispered "I miss him too but I don't know where he is little one." The baby kicked again then three more times, moving inside her. She suddenly felt a jolt of pain coming from her abdomen, it caught her by surprise and she jumped slightly at this. Y/N frowned and the pain returned again this time more intense, she gripped her hands to the window seal when she felt warmth rushing down her legs. Y/N lifted her dress and a big puddle of fluid lay on the floor. Another pain seized her this time more intense than the last two. She did her best to keep her breaths even as she looked around for her husband's data pad.

"Oh gods please help me!" She rummaged through his things on the coffee table scattering books and papers on to the floor. Tears blurred her sight as she practically tore the place apart. Another contraction hit her much harder dropping her to her knees, she placed a hand on her belly and cried out in pain. This pain was worse than menstrual cramps, a thousands times worse it felt like she was being ripped in half. Where was he when she needed him?! She screamed again louder, loud enough for someone to hear her. Anyone. She could already feel the child practically ripping her in half.

During Rey and Kylo's fight against the guards, Armitage managed to escape the scene unharmed. He was leaving for good and taking Y/N back to her father in the Resistance. He didn't care if he was going to be arrested; Ren had other plans now and Y/N seemed to not be part of them. When he arrived at her quarters he was about to knock on the door when he heard a scream coming from the other side.

It was her.

He punched in the code to open the door and the sight before him nearly made the Great General Armitage Hux break. Y/N was covered from the waist down in her own blood, hunched over the sofa, a puddle of blood oozed around her. It looked like a murder scene to him. When she saw him she started to cry. He immediately went to her and cupped her face with his hands, "Don't speak my love, don't speak, everything is going to be alright" he kissed her cheek lovingly. He noticed tears were in her eyes, her breathing slowing down.

"just take me to the medical center, Tij. I'm dying..." she whispered between gasps. Armitage swallowed back a sob and picked her up bridal style and carried her away to the medical center. He didn't notice the bloody trail left behind.

"Push love you're almost there!"

Y/N screamed in agony as the pain inside her spread through her like wildfire but she pushed anyways. Armitage held her hand and watched in horror as the bedsheets underneath her went from a snow white color to a crimson hell. Her beautiful peach dress was soiled in the angry red color and her dear face was damp with sweat. Y/N gripped the hospital bed as she pushed as hard as she could before flopping back on the bed still screaming. Blood dripped out of her like a faucet. She was hemorrhaging badly. Armitage tried hard not to cringe at her pain but he couldn't help it, the love of his life was in agony and he couldn't do anything about it. The droid at the other end couldn't do anything either but wait for the baby to come out.

It was just her and her pain.

Y/N gave one finally scream when the droid was holding something. Something red and slimy with kicking feet. And a small voice that opened up to a wail. A tiny, tiny voice. While the baby was being cleaned up, Armitage could see it was a boy. A wave of relief washed over him, it was finally over and Y/N would return to her father with her son beside her. The baby boy was wrapped in the softest wool blanket he had ever seen and taken to his mother.

The droid handed the baby over to Armitage, who gladly took it and lowered the child so a dying Y/N could see. He had a head full of black hair and Armitage could already tell he was Kylo Ren's exact copy.

"It's a fine boy" he said in a low tone, "Pick a name for him, love."

Her voice was barely audible now. Her weakness was taking over but she managed a small smile at her son. "Kes. Kes Han Solo" she said. Armitage was confused at this, "Solo? No Ren?"

"Promise me," she whispered fiercely holding on to the baby's tiny hand, "Promise me my son won't be raised to be like my husband."

Tears started to form in his eyes. She continued, "Promise me my son won't be raised in the hands on the First Order. In the hands of Kylo Ren." He stroked her hair softly her, soothing her during her final moments.

"I promise, my love. I promise you."

Her eyes were pleading, "Take me back to my father. Tell him I love him and I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused" Hux's bottom lip trembled but he refused to let go of his tears.

"Take my son to my father Tij...."

The darkness was finally taking her, "Tij...there's still good in him..." she looked at her son one last time with a weak smile on her lips and closed her eyes forever. This time he didn't stop the tears from coming. They rolled down his face and on to hers; even in her death she looked so beautiful. He knew she had found peace in her eternal slumber; nothing hurt anymore, her heart was no longer broken by the man she once loved, no more worries. Sobs shook his entire body, a scream built up in his throats and he let it out. He lost her for good now.

Everything he did was for her and he didn't understand why fate had to take her away. She was so young and beautiful then she birthed his enemy's son.

He looked down at the baby; it was mewling away in his arms. Remembering his father, Hux knew Rose was right; her son couldn't be raised in the hands of the First Order. She wanted a different story for him, a different life. A place where he wouldn't be raised in the dark side or an angry man. She was right and he was keeping her promise.

The door to the labor room hissed open and he could hear Ren come in. His back was turned to him, Kylo couldn't see his wife's body but he could see the bloody pool surrounding Hux's boots.

"Where is she General?" His voice was full of suspicion.

He didn't answer instead he was crying silently.

"Hux..." Kylo said and stepped closer to him "Where is my wife?" Instead of answering he stepped away from her body.

Kylo lost it; he ran to her almost slipping in the blood on the floor. "My love..." he choked "my love please wake up....please wake up I'm here now" he started to cry, loudly. Loud enough for the entire medical center to hear him. "Wake up and tell me you're not leaving me...please don't me leave me I can't do this on my own, please" Hux didn't say anything but watched as his rival lost his sanity. Kylo screamed into the night, he took out his light saber igniting it and began to tear the room apart sending red angry sparks everywhere. To Hux, this was pathetic. He lost the girl he truly loved and begged for her attention only for her focus to be placed on a man that hardly looked at her anymore. Kylo knew that he was the reason she was no longer alive and he couldn't do anything but cradle her body and cry. Cry like he never did before.

Hux noticed Rey watching the entire scene go on before her and he stepped outside with the baby still in his arms. There was a moment of silence between them. He was sure that she had never imagined the great Kylo Ren to loose his mind; he had to admit neither did he.

"Her son's name is Kes" he said in a cracked tone, "Kes Han Solo Dameron. Named after his great grandfather and grandfather." Rey's gaze turned to the little bundle in his arms and walked closer to him. She held out her arms and he gladly gave her the baby. "She said she didn't want him to be raised in the hands of Kylo or the First Order. She wanted me to take her body and son to her father in the Resistance..." Rey rocked the baby in her arms never taking her eyes off him, "I'll take them. They'll be in safe hands." Hux gave a curtly nod and looked back at Kylo; he was no longer crying but rocking his wife's body back and forth like a mother putting her child to sleep.

No parent has to see their child's dead body. Every father imagines his daughter lowering his body to the grave not the other way around. When Rey first arrived to the Resistance base, the first thing Poe noticed was his grandchild and after a brief happy reunion he looked behind Rey looking for his daughter. Waiting for her to come out of the Falcon but the look on Rey said it all. He cried, fell to his knees and cursed the gods; he felt guilty for treating her so badly after her mother died. But Rey told him what Hux wanted him to know, that she forgave him and that she was sorry for leaving and causing him great pain. This made him cry even more. To have her body brought back to him was a great relief; he no longer had to wonder where was she buried or where were her ashes thrown. His daughter's funeral was beautiful; there were blue roses everywhere, she was wearing a light teal green dress with chiffon lace, her long h/c hair loose with white flowers on it. That day was warm and sunny to Poe it was perfect; he didn't want his only daughter to be buried on a rainy day adding more gloom to her funeral. Y/N was buried on a hill somewhere, under a fruit tree, with the sun and clouds above her and the rain to wash her clean. It was perfect. Poe was beyond happy when he learned his daughter named his grandson after his father and her father in law, refusing the surname "Ren". Leia, Rey, Rose Tico and Finn all promised he wasn't raising little Kes alone; that he had them.

-15 years later-

Kes Solo sadly watched the snow fall down on to his mother's grave. It had been fifteen long years since her death.

"Here lies Y/N Y/M/N Dameron. Granddaughter, daughter, wife and mother. May the Force be with you" he read aloud. The wind blew and he could almost feel his mother's hand caressing his cheek. He came to see her almost every day since as long as he could remember, always bringing her flowers or a peach because he was told that was her favorite fruit. This time he brought her hot chocolate to fight against the cold winter afternoon. Through the Force he sensed his papa walking towards him. Before he could speak Kes said, "He's not my father you know," he was referring to Kylo. Poe sighed defeatedly but Kes continued to speak, "I don't have 'Ren' at the end of my name. It's Solo Dameron; son of Ben Solo and Y/N Dameron not Kylo Ren." Over the years Kes, grew an intense hatred towards his father, bowing to kill him for ruining his mother and killing his grandfather and many innocent lives to stay in the Dark Side. He was often told he looked like his father which to he replied that he had no father; that he died when his mother died. Ben Solo was no more and he wasn't going to accept Kylo Ren into his life.

Poe rested a hand on his grandson's shoulder, "So do you want to be a Jedi like your mother and father?" Kes shrugged, “Maybe. Uncle Luke says I’m already a pro but I also want to become a pilot like you or a General like my grandma. And when I do I'm going to bring peace and justice to the galaxy like it's supposed to be." Poe smiled softly at his grandson and ruffled his hair, "You remind me of your mom, Kes."

The boy looked down at his mother, "She was beautiful wasn't she? And kind..." he muttered. Poe nodded agreeing with Kes, "Yes she was pal. Now," he patted Kes's shoulder and said "let's go home kid. Grandma Leia invited us over for dinner." Kes nodded and his grandfather began to walk away, leaving him alone once again. Through the trees and the snow, standing a few yards away from his mother’s grave was the man himself. Kes sensed him staring but he ignored him. The boy knew Kylo wanted talk to talk to him, Kes wanted nothing to do with that man. He kissed his mother’s grave one last time and ran after his grandpa.

Somewhere above the clouds and into the galaxy, Kylo watched his son through holograms. His heart shattered every time Kes refused him through the Force bond they shared. Locking the door in his face or running away from him as soon as he spotted him. Hux watched him, satisfaction running through his veins.

"You deserve it. You deserve being torn apart by your own blood" he sneered at Kylo.

The Supreme Leader huffed and said, "You were a damn fool to listen to her. I should be training my son...at least a piece of his mother would still be with me."

"Yes, but I think this is the reason why she wanted a better life for him. Your boy doesn't even want to talk to you, he's aware of who you are and what you've done." Hux earned a glare from Kylo. The Supreme Leader turned his attention back to the hologram this time Hux joined him. They both watched the boy train with his mother's white lightsaber breaking a vase in the process. Both men chuckled.

"He looks like you Ren" Hux said quietly. Kylo sighed and nodded, "Yes but he has her spirit" he was referring to Y/N.

"That fire inside him...isn't mine. This fire is more intense, stronger, bolder than mine. His light will never die. It's the spark of it all."

Kes was now being scolded by his grandmama for breaking the vase. She pointed a finger at him angrily while he cleaned up his mess. His dark curls covered his face so Kylo wouldn't see. He did that often knowing his father was watching and didn't want him to his disgruntled face.

"He'll have to forgive me one day..."

Maybe he would but for now, Kylo would do everything to bring his son back.

@dtftheavengers @angelcvsmic

[aos-avenger]

Consequences: Part 2.

So I got inspired again. This one is from Robbe's POV and can be considered a continuation or read alone.

Synopsis: Robbe still finds it hard to sleep. Or my take on the reunion to hold us over until it actually happens.

Warning: Contains reference to triggering events.

Apologies: May contain spelling and/or grammar mistakes.

Robbe tossed and turned in his bed. He felt worried and agitated; a combination that wasn't allowing him to fall asleep easily. He desperately yearned for the blissful nothingness of slumber, but more often then not, he had been unable to succumb to the pull of never, never land.

Instead he was plagued with dreams.

Maybe even nightmares.

Sometimes it felt like his dreams (nightmares) followed him around during the day. He could have sworn he'd seen a bleached blond head across the street from his home the other day, but when he'd looked again, there was no one there.

When he woke in the mornings, all he felt was a deep, relentless craving for something he thought he shouldn't have.

Because his dreams (nightmares) were consumed with a blond haired, blue eyed boy.

And when Sander wasn't taking up every crevice of Robbe’s exhausted mind, then another, more awful memory filled up the space to the point where Robbe couldn’t breathe.

When he woke from those truly horrific nightmares, another form of craving took over. He wanted to be able to wrap himself around Sander, to cling to him, to know he was safe. Because Sander could have been killed.

They both could have been killed.

But Sander had disappeared into the ether; leaving an icy wind in his wake.

Eventually, Robbe felt like he was in that space where he was half-asleep, half-awake. Unsure what reality even was. Sometimes his dreams were so vivid, he couldn’t tell the difference until light was streaming in through his curtains.

His curtains that weren't yellow.

Robbe's phone lit up beside him . He'd taken to keepping it close in case Sander reached out. Apparently, that notion had followed him into his dreams now. And because it was a dream he was having, he knew that it would be Sander's handsome face lighting up his screen.

Robbe answered the call .

“I'm outside your door.” Sander's voice was hushed, as if he was afraid if he spoke loudly he's spook Robbe away. “Will you let me in?”

Robbe hung up without answering.

Dragging himself out of bed, already knowing how this dream was supposed to go, he didn’t bother putting on pants or switching on any lights. His lamp was still on, but he often fell asleep with it on lately. He blindly fumbled for the keys in the hallway and opened the door to find Sander waiting.

Usually in Robbe's dreams Sander looked amazing. While he still looked amazing to Robbe, there was noticeable dark circles under his eyes, his hair was lacklustre and going every which way. He just looked plain exhausted.

“I thought you weren't going to let me in.”

Robbe didn't care that this was a dream. He just wanted to be close to the taller boy. He grabbed him by that stupid (only because of the post Britt had made wearing it) leather jacket he always wore and dragged him to his bedroom.

Sander seemed confused.

Although Robbe couldn’t be sure, because he hadn’t looked back up at his face yet.

Robbe started to divest Sander of his clothes.

First, the green bag that he wore across his body, which he set at the end of his bed.

Then, the (stupid) leather jacket.

Robbe was about to toss that across the room, but then decided to put it on instead. Because it smelled like Sander and he wanted to replace the memory of Britt wearing it.

Then he went for Sander’s jeans, but paused before he did anything. He looked up at Sander's blue, blue eyes and swallowed hard. The taller boy was staring at Robbe in the leather jacket in a way that made him shudder.

But this wasn't about sex.

It was about comfort.

And Sander seemed to be able to read his mind. He got rid of his jeans himself and waited patiently for Robbe's next move.

Robbe rewarded his patience by climbing him like a monkey. Sander didn’t seem to mind though, helping him by lifting Robbe’s thighs and wrapping them around his waist.

Both boys breathed out a sigh of relief at the contact.

Robbe kissed his shoulder.

Sander hand curled into Robbe's hair.

“I want to explain...”

“It's okay Sander, you can explain it to me in real life,” Robbe interrupted him, not wanting his dream to make up reasons for Sander's behaviour.

“Real life?” Sander sounded perplexed, but he didn’t pull away from Robbe.

Robbe wanted to crawl inside him.

“This is just my dream,” Robbe explained to Sander. “I miss you so much that I dream about you showing up at my apartment. I dream about having you in my bed. About kissing you and touching you. I dream that whenever I’m scared I can cuddle up to you and feel your heat seep into my bones. Feel your heartbeat under my fingertips.”

“Oh, Robbe,” Sander whispered into his hair.

“I trust you'll find your way back to me in the real world,” Robbe continued, playing with the hair at the nape of Sander’s neck. “And even if you don't, I just want you to be happy and safe. Because you deserve those things. I wish somebody had told me that, so I want you to hear it.”

Sander pulled Robbe impossibly closer, squeezing tighter.

Wetness hit the side of Robbe's face, where he'd pressed his forehead against Sander's neck slidding down the younger boys cheek.

“Robbe, I’m sorry. I'm so sor..,” Sander's voice broke.

“It's okay, Sander, it’s okay.” Robbe took Sander’s face in his hands and kissed his tears away, tasting the saltiness on his tongue. “You're safe. Don't worry,” he breathed the words into Sander's skin, as he kissed his entire face, clinging to his body.

Sander lowered them to the bed, and with Robbe still attached to him, he managed to wiggle them so that he was resting his back against Robbe’s head broad. The blond boy had gotten himself under control, his hands finding there way under the leather jacket that Robbe still wore and then his t-shirt.

“Robbe?” Sander could feel how relaxed the smaller boy was, his breathing evening out, his head tucked under Sander's chin.

“Uhm?” Robbe hummed, nuzzling against Sander’s neck.

“Just so you know, this is real life. I'm really here.”

Robbe badly wanted that to be true. “Promise to be here when I wake up? You won't leave me again?”

It's easy to be vulnerable when you thought you were dreaming.

“I promise, Robbe. I'm not going anywhere.”