#or that's the way I would write it anyways.
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So High School | Kim Mingyu
pairing: fiancé!mingyu x pregnant!fem!reader
rating: fluff, mature
genre: non-idol au, slice of life, established relationship
summary: you and your fiancé haven't discussed the idea of you having children, but with your wedding approaching, the idea of starting a family with him has been on your mind.
warnings: please read ALL! contains smut! not much but a little! (!!!) some time skips, reader gets pregnant, planned pregnancy, reader's mom loves mingyu, reader deals with morning sickness (for my fellow emetophobics this may be triggering!), minwon coworkers mentioned, smut warnings: creampie, unprotected sex, multiple rounds mentioned, backshots, fingering.
word count: 3k
AHEM! go listen to so high school by taylor swift (perhaps while you read!)
author's note!: i listened to taylor waaaay too much while i was writing this, as you can probably tell by the title đ«Ł what can i say! guilty. my first time writing slice of life au! i had fun lowkey. AGHHH i just love writing cute mingyu esp when it involves future dad mingyu. the song lyrics are meant to be spacers for the time-skips btw! shoutout to @jenoslutie for also supporting my vision with this đ muah xo
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I feel so high school every time I look at you, I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you...
Mingyu was your dream man in many ways than one. The perfect boy to bring home to your parents, cooked delicious meals for you, and overall made you feel safe.Â
You two had been engaged for months now, and wedding planning was well underway, the date set for early into the new year. As if it wasnât stressful enough, your mom had already started questioning whether the two of you had wanted children, or planned to in the future. The answer was always the same,
âMom, I donât know⊠we havenât talked about it into a lot of detail⊠maybe later onâŠâ or âCâmon, weâre still young, Mom!âÂ
Mingyu didnât know any of this, and youâd probably never tell him, not wanting him to feel pressured by your badgering mother. You both knew you wanted children eventually, but you never talked that far into the future.
But⊠you also thought⊠maybe you would want to have children, if it was with Mingyu.Â
Mingyu would be the father to play dress up and makeovers with your daughter, have tea parties with her, or play with faux tools with your son and pretend to fix things, and play with plastic dinosaurs.
You couldn't picture anybody that would be more perfect to do it with than him.
Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? It's just a game, but really I'm bettin' on all three for us two...
Mingyu stands at the kitchen counter, cooking dinner like he usually does, and he usually insists since he gets home a little earlier from work than you do most days.Â
You come from the kitchen after changing out of your work clothes to see him chopping garlic as a pot is boiling on the stove.Â
âWhat are you making?â
âAgio e olio,â Mingyu responds, looking up to smile at you briefly. âI know itâs your favorite, and you said you were craving it.â
You smile, coming over to kiss him on the cheek quickly. âThank you, you make it so good anyway.â You chuckle as he playfully rolls his eyes.Â
He tosses the garlic in a pan on the stove, stirring it a little, then adds the pasta to the boiling water.
You decide now is the time to break your silence, and tell him whatâs been on your mind lately.
âGyu,â You speak up. â⊠I think we should talk about something.âÂ
âWhat?â Mingyuâs gaze turns to meet yours, a concerned look on his face, and you immediately want to kiss him and make it go away.
âWhy? Whatâs wrong?â
âIâve been thinkingâŠâ You pause, racking your brain on how to word what youâre about to tell him, also given that you didnât want to scare him. âWhat do you think about us⊠having a baby?âÂ
You look up at his undeniable surprised expression; after all you did come out of nowhere with that statement.
âI mean, I know we havenât really discussed it much, and weâre getting married in a few months⊠but I have been thinking about it a lot, and I want to, weâre at that age-â You break out into a nervous ramble before he cuts you off.
âIâve thought about it too. I thought it should be something that we shouldâŠyou know⊠talk about.â Mingyu says.
âI donât want to put any pressure on you, or I guess, on us.â You continue. âI know weâre not married officially yet, and our wedding isnât until a few more months, but I donât know, I think I want to.âÂ
Mingyu turns to you, smiling ear to ear in the adorable happy puppy way he typically does when heâs over the top excited about something. âI know, me too.â
âDoes this mean⊠weâre trying?â You canât even hide your smile, your cheeks hurt as you attempt to be the least bit nonchalant.
âYeah⊠fuck⊠câmere.â Mingyu pulls you closer to him, kissing you fervently.
You pull back, releasing his grip from your waist.
âHey, after dinner,â You smirk, giggling at his eagerness. âYouâre gonna burn your garlic.â
âMingyu⊠I canât, fuck-â You whine, your face nearly buried into the pillow underneath you.
âYeah you can babyâŠâ Mingyu grunts, his hand slides up your back to push you down even more. âTaking it all like a good girlâŠâ
You nearly collapse as you can barely hold yourself up anymore, and youâre being pushed forward almost to the headboard from the force of him behind you.
âIâm gonna come, âgyu.â You cry, your hand trailing down to rub tight circles on your clit, making your thighs tremble as you push yourself closer to the edge.Â
âGo on babyâŠâ Mingyu groans, feeling you get tighter around him. âCum all over my cock like a good girl.â
You cry his name again as he pushes you over the edge, white-knuckling the sheets as he keeps thrusting inside you, almost even harder.
âFuckâŠâ  He groans as he slows down, stilling before he comes inside you.
He pulls out, watching himself drip out of you briefly as he curses under his breath, before he pushes it back inside you with two fingers, making you whine.
âSorry, babyâŠâ Mingyu sweetly apologizes.
You flip over on your back, pulling him down to kiss him.
âI wanna go againâŠâ You say against his lips, pushing his sweaty long hair back.
âReally?â He asks sweetly, leaning down to kiss your neck a few times. âWasnât too much?â
âNeverâŠâ
Truth, dare, spin bottles, You know how to ball, I know Aristotle Brand new, full-throttle, Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto...
The next few weeks were just the usual. Going into work during the day, shopping for the wedding with your sister, ⊠Mingyu practically never leaving you alone, but that you wouldnât complain about.
âWhat kind of flowers are you guys doing?â Your sister asks you. The two of you made plans to get coffee, and you guys typically talked about whatever. She always voiced her opinion on your life whether it was boyfriends, career moves, and now: your wedding.
âWhite lilies; one of my favorites. Mingyu said I could just pick what I wanted, heâs happy with whatever I choose.â You say.
âThatâs sweet,â She smiles, stirring her matcha latte. âEven though, he probably doesnât care.â She chuckles.
âYouâre probably right, I think he has other things on his mind other than flowers.â You laugh, only you know what you mean by that.Â
You never told her the both of you had been trying to have a baby.
âIâve always liked him, though, you know that.â She smiles. âIf thereâs anybody you marry and spend forever with, i'm glad itâs him. Heâs just right for you.â
You smile, glancing down as your gaze flickers on your sparkling engagement ring under the coffee shop lights.
Youâre definitely glad itâs him.
âDo you mind if we go into the grocery store down the street? I need to just run in and get a few things.â She asks you.
You nod. âYeah, thatâs fine. I could probably use a few things too.âÂ
âHow do you know if a watermelon is a really good one?â She asks you, as the fruit by the entrance catches her eye.
âYouâre asking me?â You laugh. âI have no idea, I have heard though if theyâre a dark green, itâs too watery.â
âYou were always good at picking them, I know Mom used to always say that.â She replies. âMaybe I wonât get one, are they even in season?â
âProbably not, itâs November. Anyway, what did you need here?â You say, grabbing a hand basket for yourself.
âJust usual stuff, yogurt⊠eggs, oat milk, some strawberries⊠whatever else I find that I think i need.â She says, placing strawberries and avocados in her cart. Already straying from the list.Â
You follow her, bagging up some apples, cucumbers, and brussel sprouts into your basket.Â
Youâre both wandering down the ice cream aisle, as youâre grabbing whatever pint of peanut butter ice cream you can find, when your sister speaks up.
âOh! Letâs go to the hygiene section, I need to get some tampons. That time of the month soon.â
You pause, ice cream in hand, suddenly racking your brain trying to remember when the last time your period was. A few weeks ago? Last month? Were you supposed to get it? Were you late?
âY/nâŠ? Whatâs wrong? Everything okay?â She asks, seemingly able to read your inner monologue going on in your head.Â
âY-yeahâŠâ You reply, placing the ice cream in your basket, all while your heart is still racing. Was it joy? Nervousness? âItâs just⊠I canât remember the last time I had my periodâŠâ
I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night Your friends are around, so be quiet, I'm trying to stifle my sighs 'Cause I feel so high school, Every time I look at you...
âI feel bad doing this without him,â You say, staring down at the two blinking pregnancy tests on the counter. âMingyu should be hereâŠâ
âHeâll be home from work soon wonât he? Youâll tell him then. Câmon, heâll understand, practically sister code for me to be the first one to know.â She replies, checking the time on her phone.Â
Itâs true, you both always did tell each other everything before you told anybody else.Â
âItâs almost time.â
âI canât look.â You anxiously turn away. âItâs killing me.â
âHow did this happen?â She asks. âI mean⊠not to be noseyâŠ.â
âWell we talked about it, and weâve been kinda⊠sorta, trying to get pregnant.âÂ
âWhat?! How come you didnât tell me you were?â She exclaims, playfully shoving you.
âWe decided to about a little over a month ago. We talked about it, we decided it was something we both wanted,â You start, just as her phone timer goes off, you quickly turn around from the counter. âOh my god, oh my god, I canât look.â
âIâll do it first,â She says, shoving her way in front of you. âOh my god⊠y/nâŠâ You can hear the excitement and smile in her voice.
You turn around, facing the two tests.
You see it, âpregnantâ, displayed clearly on both.
âOh my god, I donât,â You almost stutter, lost for words. âI- I donât know what to say.â
âGood news?â She asks.
âYeah, yeah, of course.â You smile, suddenly becoming teary, feeling a bunch of emotions at once. Excitement. Nervousness.  âI just- fuck⊠I wish Mingyu was here. I didnât want to find out like this.â
âRelax, youâll tell him later,â She laughs. âEspecially âcause I know you wonât be able to keep this from him long.â
âNo, youâre absolutely right. Thereâs no way Iâm holding it in.â
And in a blink of a crinkling eye I'm sinking, our fingers entwined Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me...
You spend the evening trying to decide elaborate ways that youâll tell him.Â
Putting a test in a gift bag as a present? Corny.
Hiding it somewhere and letting him find it? Too lame.
You decided to literally just come right out and tell him, especially because you didnât want to figure out some cliche way of getting it out.
Mingyu comes home from work, greeting you as he walks in the door, adorably kissing your forehead as he wraps his arms around you, perfectly engulfing you.
âHow was your day, honey?â He sweetly asks you, genuinely curious as heâs awaiting your answer.Â
âIt was good actually, I had coffee with my sister, then we went to the grocery store, doesnât sound like much but we had fun.â You lean up and kiss his lips, smiling.
âBut itâs better now that youâre here.âÂ
Mingyu smiles, kissing you again.
âIâm going to get changed really quick, okay?â Mingyu says.
You jokingly pout. âAw, but you look so nice in your slacks and button up shirt⊠at least let me savor it.â You reach up, undoing a few buttons on his shirt.
âEnjoying this?â Mingyu chuckles.
âYes, very.â You smile.
âWell I was gonna ask you, if you wanted to, Wonwoo and Seungcheol asked if we wanted to go out and get dinner with them, and hang out maybe get some drinks.â He continues, before he starts walking off to your shared bedroom to change, as you follow him. âWonwoo asked me before I left the office.âÂ
âI donât know⊠maybe?â You reply, hesitating a bit.
Meanwhile your mind works a mile a minute trying to think of how to break this news of yours to him.
âIt wouldnât be until a little later, if thatâs better. No rush.â Mingyu says, nonchalantly unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off. What a distraction.Â
He slips on a white t-shirt , and gray sweatpants; his usual after work attire. Suddenly you wonder if whatever you have to tell him is really that important anyway, and you immediately consider just saying âforget itâ and fucking him right here in the early hours of the evening. Whatâd be the big deal? You were already pregnant, anyways.
No! You quickly shake that thought from your mind, refocusing.
âGyu,â You start, getting his full attention. âThereâs something⊠I have to tell you something.â
âWhat?âÂ
âIâm not even really sure how to tell you, um hang on,â You continue, leaving the room quickly to retrieve one of the pregnancy tests youâd left in the bathroom.Â
You come back, very obviously holding something behind your back.
âI guess I should say I kind of have a surprise to tell you.â
âWhat? What?â Mingyu asks, eager already by the way youâre already smirking, unable to contain yourself.
âItâs, um, thisâŠâ You start, pulling the test from behind your back. âI didnât know how to tell you, I was gonna plan something but I couldnât wait.â You laugh, smiling ear to ear.
Mingyu takes it from you, seemingly uncaring, or forgetting, that you literally peed on the thing. His mouth drops opened, in awe.
âOh my godâŠâ He speaks, beaming. âWhen did you find out?âÂ
âToday, actually.â You say. âI wound up taking a test, and⊠yeah.âÂ
You sigh. âI feel so weird about it, I know I was expecting it but I feel so excited and nervous at the same time.â
You glance up at Mingyu, and you see him still examining the test in his hand.
âAre you okay?â
âYeah, yeah,â Mingyu nods, his eyes meeting yours and you see heâs now smiling. âIâm just⊠happy, surprised..â
âI mean, cmon, what were we really expectingâŠâ You joke, blushing.
âYou know what I mean, itâs still crazy to me.â Mingyu comes closer to you, kissing you.Â
âYeah, it sure isâŠâ You smile up at him.Â
âItâs okay, honey,â Mingyu reassures you, speaking softly. âJust get it outâŠâ
Mingyu kneels behind you on the cold tile floor, holding your hair back as youâre hanging your head over the toilet as your stomach empties its contents.
âThere you goâŠâÂ
You wonder how he can even stand to be in the bathroom with you, if the roles were reversed, youâd be outside the door nearly gagging.
âAre you okay?â Mingyu asks, helping you sit up, as he wraps his arms around you to keep you steady.Â
You slowly nod as you flush, still feeling a touch of nausea. âYeah, can you just- just stay here for a little bit.âÂ
Mingyu sits on the tile floor as he leans against the bathtub, and he guides you back to sit in front of him.
You lean back into him, and he leans down and kisses your shoulder. You catch a glance at his watch on his wrist even in the dim light of the very early morning.
âOh my god, Gyu, is it really 5am?â You groggily ask, feeling sorry. âYou have to work in the morning, donât you?â
âShh, itâs okay, itâs not a big deal.â Mingyu reassures you. âI can always go in a little later, I wanna make sure youâre okay.âÂ
ââŠI think Iâm good now,â You say, starting to stand up slowly, as Mingyu helps you all the way. ââŠYou know, I have heard that the more nauseas you are, it probably means youâre having a girl. And if you have none at all, itâs probably a boy.â
Mingyu chuckles, âWhere do you come up with this? Is that even a thing?âÂ
âThe internet⊠you know, social media. Everythingâs on there.â You protest.
âYouâre delirious,â Mingyu playfully rolls his eyes. âCmon, letâs go back to bed.â
âGyu, we have to leave in like an hour,â You say, as youâre getting ready in the bathroom, finishing up your final touches on your hair. âI donât want to be late for dinner at my parents house.â
Mingyu stands in the doorway now, âThis okay?â He shows off a navy blue polo shirt and black jeans.Â
âYeah, honey, you look nice.â You smile. âBesides, you could wear anything around her, she adores you anyways.âÂ
It was true. Your mother would always be calling Mingyu to help around the house when your Father was away on a business trip. She needed help fixing something? Sheâd call Mingyu. She needs help building a side table? You bet sheâs calling Mingyu. His height was also a bonus, being able to reach things stored higher up.
Mingyu smiles at you adoringly, as his eyes trail down your body.
âWhat?â You ask when you notice him.
âYouâre starting to show a little,â He smiles. âYou look cute.â
You giggle, placing your hands on your stomach. âYeah I know, she wants to be seen now, sheâs done hiding.âÂ
âWell, are my girls ready to go?â Mingyu smiles, kissing you.Â
âYeah,â You giggle, smiling as you kiss him again. âLetâs go.âÂ
It's true, swear, scouts honor You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her.
tags: @jenoslutie @wonuwrites @aaniag @cosmojinyoung
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â.Ë áĄŁđ© â â simple acts of love from skz
âAll the times stray kids said I love you in the little things.
wordsă»6.8k pairingsă»stray kids x reader genresă»fluff, a little crack, established relationships warningsă»lots and lots of kisses!! happy tears, drunken re-confessions, silliness, playful living room dancing, minhos a shy baby, he's also a little shit in changbins, erotic painting in hyunjins, hans is a little bit more emotional, silly little proposals, my terrible attempt at writing lyrics, jeongin stalks your goodreads profile and buys your entire TBR list like I don't have at least a thousand tbr books...some of these are silly some of these are sickeningly sweet,
a/nă»I wrote these drabbles based on these headcanons, but I did change Minho's because I believed it fit him better!! Also, this has been rotting in my drafts for MONTHS im not super proud of them, but I hope you like them anyways.
ᥣđ© chan + sneaking into your bathroom to trace hearts onto the bathroom mirror.
"This is a suicide mission!" his lungs scream as he slips into your inferno of a bathroom, a heavy cloak of steam hugging him instantly. His respiratory system begs for release, a moist cough rolling up his throat; but like the magnificent boyfriend he is, he shoves those rebellious bodily functions right back down his windpipe.
Was his silly little plan worth the ability to breathe? Yes. Did he also wonder how you even could? Also yes.
The mirror fogs like the surface of an ancient lake, obstructing the image of his mischievous grin. He brings a pointer finger to the glass, drawing all his ardor in the mistâthough it only comes out as lopsided hearts.
Your voice floats out from behind the curtain, absentmindedly humming to a silent tune. Shadows of your hands move through your hair, your body refracted onto the thin sheet.
You are so beautiful...
Cupid smacks his jaw shut.
He manages to slip out right as the water sputters off, sliding into the living room by his socks. He face-plants onto the couch, scrambling to sit upright. The loud smack of your towel echoes in his ears as his wide eyes dart to the table, frantically searching for something to occupy his attention. He snatches the first thing he sees, which just happens to be a... candle?
Whatever, no time!
Chan is intently studying the ocean-blue Bath & Body Works label, when you come pattering out, damp hair dribbling water behind you. The moment you step into his line of sight, his heart plummetsâthat stupid aromatherapy candle nearly tumbling with it.
There you were, in all your drenched glory, your towel wrapped snug against your chest, tears rolling freely down your cheeks. Did you hear that?! Tears!! You were crying?! Why were you crying?!?!
Chan must have embodied the spirit of a kangaroo, because heâs never jumped up faster in his life.
"Why are you crying? You're supposed to be happy!" he yelps, yanking your body into his arms, water seeping into the thin fabric of his tee shirt. His brain becomes the equivalent of the worldâs most fucked-up ambrosia when you begin laughing, the curve of your smile pressed into his chest. He blinksâhe doesn't know whether to kiss you or call a priest. Maybe he should do both?
Suddenly you pull away, cocooning his cheeks with pruney hands, your bottom lip wobbling as you sob, "I'm so in love with you."
Well, good jobânow he's sobbing too.
"I'm in love with you too, baby."
You had drawn hearts on the walls of his soul in the same way he had drawn them in the steam of your mirror. The only difference is, yours would never fade away.
ᥣđ© minho + randomly sending you songs that remind him of you.
Minho wasn't the type to throw his arms around you, pressing kisses to your face with all his overflowing ardor. Instead, in the minuscule overlaps of time between talking on the phone and constructing a perfect dance routine, he'll find himself sitting dazed upon the lounge room couch, mindlessly nodding to a catchy tune. He had left his Spotify on smart shuffle, finding comfort in the idea of a song found without searching, as if it were fate's gentle finger dusting the path to new adventures. He flutters his eyelids shut, ripples of sound washing over his skin.
And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime
And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine
'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions
Wishing on everyone that you'd be mine, mine
In a rash flood of emotions, he sends you the song just before Chan steps into view, announcing his dire need to finish choreographing the final steps of their newest single. Begrudgingly, he slips his phone into his back pocket, his earbuds following suit. The only thing that keeps him sane throughout the day is the anticipation that he will go home and see you, and that makes it all worth it.
ᥣđ©
May I have this dance?" you declare, extending your arm with feigned seriousness, though the playful smile tugging at your lips betrays you instantly.
âWhat?â Minho chuckles through furrowed brows, observing the unusual surroundings; candles flicker dim lighting on the walls, throwing shadows on the rose petals you had scattered around your living room, forming an intriguing resemblance to a romantic dance floor. He sets the bags of groceries on the ground. Lee Know is so beyond confused, yet also pleasantly surprised, especially when you waltz over to him, tight red dress hugging all your gorgeous curves.
âYou still haven't answered my question,â you sing, playfully twirling into his arms. Your hands find their way to the nape of his neck, tracing mindless circles in his hair. A shiver rolls up his spine as you tilt your face forward, lips so close; his heart flutters like a fragile leaf tumbling down from an autumn tree. He blinks before exhalingâ
âOf course, I'll dance with you.â
A delighted squeal erupts from your lips, and you jump away from his arms, heading straight over to your phone to play the song he sent you prior. A warm blush floods his cheeks, painting them a bashful red.
âDid you like it?â His eyes fall away from yours.
âDid I like it?? Of course I liked it!â you squeal, gaping at him like he was the dumbest person on the planet. World War Three rages inside his chest as he fights not to fold like a lawn chair, flopping on the floor like a flustered starfish. Though when your hands rub their way up from his chest to his shoulders, he's surprised he's even upright. Your hips sway to the melody, a warm smile melting away all his defenses; but when you guide his awkward hands to the dip in your hips, itâs game over. He stuffs his face into your neck, littering the sensitive skin with kisses, his brain screaming: distract the enemy!! distract the enemy!!
âDo you know how much I love you?â he mumbles with striking genuineness. Instead of answering his question, you simply twirl yourself around his finger, placing his hand to wrap around the small of your back. He dips you down right as the music swells. It was magical, reallyâthe candlelight twinkling in your peripheral, spills of starlight dancing off the ocean's surface. It was all so perfectâthat was until your shoe caught on one of the rose petals, the floor turning slick under your feet. You send yourself tumbling straight to the ground. Minho squeals, grasping at thin air, but then he too also slips, frantically shooting his wrists out so he doesn't crush you.
The music cuts through the deafening silence as petals weave their way into your hair. You roll your lips into your teeth, glancing over to an eerily still Minho, staring at the ceiling like a spooked tabby. As if he could feel your eyes, his gaze finds yours, and only then does he burst out into roaring laughter, which prompts you to also join the fun.
âAre you sure you're the main dancer?â you tease through breathy giggles. He gasps, smacking a dramatic hand over his chest.
âIâll have you know you fell first.â
And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime
And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine
'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions
Wishing on everyone that you'd be mine, mine
In that moment, as the light hits you just right, he swears he finds the universe in your eyes. Your skin is showered in candlelight, head tilted backâjoy flickers on your tongue as honey drips from your teeth. His heart pounds against his ribs, flowers sprouting in his lungs. To the world, he was an aloof grump with smooth moves and an impressive affinity for cats; but to you, with you, he was so much more.
Mid-snort, he captures your cheek, pressing his lips to yours. In a single gesture, he is pouring all the words he wished to sayâ
though to you, it tasted a little bit likeâ
If he had to blow a wish on every dandelion in the universe just to keep you, he would; and only through your lips would he find the power to keep breathing.
ᥣđ© changbin + gushing about you while drunk
The balmy patio is sticky with soju-infused groans, most of the boys slumped in their respective seats, throwing back exasperated swigs of their drinks as they desperately try to drown out Changbinâs relentless rambles.
The two semicircle outdoor couches form a full circle around an unlit bonfire pit. On one of the couches sits a completely unfazed Felix, taking small sips of his soju between chuckles; an extremely annoyed Seungmin, glaring daggers at Changbin; and I.N, who doesnât seem to be doing much of anything except, well, sleepingâbody slumped against the armrest. Hyunjin is sandwiched between Chan and Changbin on the other couch: Chan, who wishes he never even brought up the idea to buy beer in the first place, and Changbin, who is currently slumped over a very irked Hyunjinâs lap. Han is somewhere in the house, probably giggling at his own swirling reflection.
Hyunjin digs his fingers into the roots of his locks, fighting every urge not to yank the tufts straight out.
âN-no, but Jinnie, you donât u-understandâsheâs so pretty,â Changbin slurs, stuffing his face into his friendâs hoodie, which makes Hyunjin frown and swat him away.
âThatâs it! Iâm calling Y/N!â Seungmin announces, jumping up from his seat. Chan grabs his sleeve, yanking him straight back down, much to Seungminâs dismay. he sinks into the polyester in a puddle of disgruntled grumbles.
"Or we could record him," Minho calls out from the shadows of the back entryway, only ever appearing when he needed more beer or more entertainment. And right now, it was dinner and a show. Minho simply shrugs as if his evil plan wouldnât ruin his best friend's bad-boy reputation. "Send it to Y/N later," he mumbles to himself, the devil tilting his cheek up. Nobody seems to hear him, so he slyly pulls his phone from his pocket and presses record.
"No, no, no! You can't call Y/N. Sheâll know I love her!" Changbin gasps in horror, stumbling to grab the phantom phone that apparently appears on Hyunjinâs lap with the way he paws at his jeans. Hyunjin takes a nice, long swig of his soju.
"You know you and Y/N have been together for over four years, right?" Felix chuckles, finding the whole ordeal pure comedic relief.
"No, you donât understand. Sheâll know I love her... lover," Changbinâs words slur into an incoherent shake of his head. Minho's evil cackles float out from the concealment of the doorway, and Chan perks up.
"Minho, what are you doing?!" Minho slams his phone against his thigh. What the hell?? Does Chan have Spidey senses or something??
"Nothing!" he yelps, sounding super convincing. Chan narrows his eyes toward the darkness where Minho is supposedly lurking, sporting an eerily perfect rendition of a frustrated father. That is, until Changbin begins a very off-tune version of âThe Itsy Bitsy Spider,â rolling over on Hyunjinâs lap to tap his fingers up his arm and eventually landing on Hyunjinâs nose with a giggle. When Hyunjin almost bites his finger off, Chan finally diverts his attention. Minho thanks God for the shadowsâhow else would he have gotten away with recording all of that?
âIâm about two seconds away from bringing you back to Y/N,â Hyunjin sighs, his lips pressed into a tight line as he glares at the man whose eyes just burst with light at the thought of seeing you. Chan smacks Hyunjin on the back sympathetically, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Why me, Lord? Why me?" Chan sings his woes under his breath but just loud enough for the camera to pick upâand for Minho to giggle.
"Y/N, I miss Y/N. Can I go home to Y/N, please?" Changbin hiccups, slumping his head onto Hyunjinâs shoulder. Hyunjinâs eye twitches. "I wanna tell the pretty girl I love her."
Felix emerges from his silence with a fit of laughter, nearly spilling his beer all over the floor. "Weren't you just saying you didnât want to tell her you loved her?"
Changbin whips his gaze forward, his eyes hardening into a very foggy glare. "Well, now I want to tell the pretty girl I love her," he states matter-of-factly, his eyes fluttering a bit, betraying just how drunk he is.
Felixâs amusement is transparent as he raises his beer in Changbinâs direction. "Somebody needs to bring him to Y/N and let him re-confess his undying love for her."
Seungmin has never jumped up so fast in his life; heâs mid-volunteer when Chan grabs the cuff of his sleeve again and yanks him right back on his ass. Seungmin collapses onto the couch, ready to spit a disrespectful insult at his elder, but he folds like a lawn chair when Chan shoots him that look.
"Seungmin, you are far too drunk to take him home, while I," he looks to the sky with regret, "am very regretfully sober." Chan sounds like heâs going through the five stages of grief in one sentence.
"Okay, buddy, Iâm taking you home," Chan grunts, clapping the drunken boy on the back. Changbin beams like he just heard there was a cure for cancer.
"Hell yeah!" He jumps up, only to stumble slightly, the patio swimming in his vision as he catches himself on Hyunjinâs forehead. When he finally, barely stabilizes himself, he throws his hands up. "See yâall bitches later! Iââ he dramatically points to his chest in pride, ââam going to see my girl," he declares and marches straight out the door. Chan is mid-goodbye hug turned introspection with Felix, wondering what heâs doing with his life, when he hears a loud shatter in the hallway. Chan falls out of Felixâs arms immediately, his stride turned sprint.Â
"Son of a bitch, Changbin, that was my favorite vase!"
ᥣđ©
âGo ahead, tell the pretty girl how much you love her,â you tease, playfully mimicking kissy faces while simultaneously poking Changbinâs crumpled form, his boiling cheeks sandwiched between his knees.
Why did Minho have to send you that video? But most of all, why did he have to send it while Changbin was still hungover? All this humiliation canât be good for his headache.
Changbin groans, falling back on the bed to pull a pillow over his scorching face. The fact that the whole mattress hasnât burst into flames is truly beyond him. Giggles pour from your lips, even as they settle atop his stomach, leaving kisses all the way up his torso. You can hear his flustered pants from down here.
âOkay, thatâs enough bullying for one day,â you say, straddling his waist to snake your arms around his waist, pressing your chests flush together. Your teeth graze his shoulder, softly biting the flesh. âCome on, baby, take the pillow off your face.â You press your smile against his shirt before resting your chin on his chest.
He peeks out from under the pillow, tugging it down just enough to reveal his eyes, still reluctant to fully reveal himself. You bat your lashes at him, pouting ever so slightly. He foldsâlike a damn lawn chair, at this point, heâs practically collapsing in on himself with how much heâs folded. His face melts into a grin as he finally pulls the pillow down.
He so regrets that.
Your face lights up with laughter as you take in his beet-red cheeks, your eyes disappearing into crinkled slits. âIâm sorry, I just... I just canât,â you cackle, doubling over in heaves.
âI hate you,â Changbin shouts, flustered, smacking you square in the side of the head with the pillow. It does nothing to quell your amusement; in fact, it only makes it worse.
âThatâs not what you said last night,â you snort, falling off him as you kick your feet against the sheets.
Despite his urge to tie a millstone around his ankle and jump off the face of the earth, he canât help but smile, caught in an unusual state of awe. Your mouth is boxy, laughter filling the air like strands of warm honey.
âApparently, you think about me a lot,â you snicker, still rolling around. his smile only spreads wider.
If only you knew how much he thought of you.
ᥣđ© hyunjin + painting perfectly captured portraits of you
âHold still for me, baby,â Hyunjin whispers, his voice low and intimate, as he lightly drags his brush down the length of your arm, adding the final touches to your portrait. His gaze traces your bare body, memorizing every inch until even the freckle on the upper left side of your waist is drawn onto the inside of his eyelids. The valley of your breasts trembles with each labored breath, your muscles tightening against the couch where you lay.
âIâm really trying, Jinnie, but it hurts,â you whine, fighting to keep your head steady. Your boyfriend lets out a breathy laugh, savoring one final glance at your naked form. With careful precision, he drags the sharpest part of his brush down your thigh, finishing the entire painting with his favorite peice of you.
âDone,â Hyunjin murmurs, settling back into his chair with a satisfied smile, admiring the art heâs just created. Usually when he painted, there was always something he hated about his workâwhether it's the proportions or the colors were slightly out of harmonyâit was never good enough. but when he paints you, there's never an issue; for he could capture you with children's finger paints, and you'd still find a way to look utterly breathtaking.
âLet me see,â you squeal, jumping up from the uncomfortable spot youâd claimed on his couch. A faint blush appears on his face as he turns the easel around, unraveling his heart before you. And oh, when he doesâyou collapse into his arms, all your strength diffused into a shuddering gasp. He had dipped his brush into your soul, and with every meticulous stroke, he gathered the very essence of your heart. It was almost unreal how perfect he made you appear to beâyour moles speckled across your skin in gold, dusted like stars; your stretch marks adorned in silver, shining like slips of light.
How are you not sobbing right now??
âIs it okay?â he asks, bashfully wrapping his arms around your naked waist, completely unfazed by your current state of undress.
âHyunjin, this is more than okay,â you sniffle, voice crackling with emotion. You turn to meet his gaze, only for his palms cradle your cheeks with a touch so tender, it's barely there. One second, youâre breathing; the next, youâre transcending, existing only between his lips.
By the time you come up for air, the world around you has changed. Heâs on top of you now, his hands resting on either side of your head, thoughts long forgotten. He moves closer, allowing whisps of his hair to tickle the sensitive flesh of your neck; for his lips to settle upong the delicate curve of your collarbone. He doesnât stopâhe doesnât stop until the sun kisses your skin, until the sky is filled with the very stars he painted upon your skin.
Only in love and art are you eternal and in hyunjin, with hyunjin, you are both.Â
ᥣđ© han + hiding messages into every song he produces
"In every lifetime," a heartfelt promise whispered between shuttering breaths. Han's lips parted, your tongue savoring his astonished gasp. "What did you say?" quickly transformed into "Did you mean it?" when you had tenderly threaded your fingers into his hair, the pad of your thumb settling just under his jaw. Your needy hands had fogged his head, but he never forgot it.
"In every lifetime," you had uttered many moons later, nestled underneath the stretch of midnight sky. The universe had stilled, all of time and space screeching to a deafening halt. You unraveled the scrolls of his soul, and with the eternal vow of "I do," swore forever. So, he, for however long he may live, intends to hold you to that promise.
From: Hannie đż Do not by any means play my new song!!!
From: Hannie đż Im serious!!
From: Hannie đż Promise me Y/N!!!
You giggle at his earnestness, clicking the notification to message him back.
From: My Wife †I won't I promise!
From: My Wife †Scouts honor đ«Ą
You admired Han's dedication to his craft, but what you admired most was his need to share every single part of it with you.
"You didn't listen to the song, did you?" Han calls out from the foyer, slamming the front door behind him. He urgently throws off his shoes, his heavy footsteps following him all the way up the stairs. Your mirth bubbles up behind a bitten grin, lip firmly tucked between your teeth.
"No!" you shout back, feigning indifference; though when he swings your bedroom door open, youâre overcome with breathy gigglesâhis hair is tossed around at all angles, puffed cheeks pink and gasping.
Now that was the man you fell in love with.
"Somebody's eager," you tease, chucking your phone somewhere on the bed. His eyes are oddly fearful when you lift yourself up from the comforter, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. His chest heaves, breath labored and shaky; flighty fingers find the knot of his tie, yanking it loose. You reel your head back. Since when does he wear a tie? You flick your gaze down his figure. Since when does he wear suits?? Your confusion only festers as he lets out an anxious chuckle, wringing his hands like wet rags.
"You have no idea." You didnât knowâdidnât know what he was about to risk. His heart was clay in your hands, and with the delicacy of a butterfly's wing, you pressed your fingerprints into his skin. For now, through touch alone, his soul will find you in every lifetime; but first, he must promise you himself in this one, and that appeared to be an impossible feat.
It's now or never, he tells himself.
So, with an arduous breath, he steadies his quivering hands just long enough to slip his phone out of his back pocket. Was it just him, or is it suddenly really hot in here? He swipes to YouTube. Why was it getting so hard to breathe?? He presses play. His heart somersaults its way down to his stomach when the opening melody echoes from the speakers. Your brows lift, lips pursing in your signature concentrated quirk. His mouth forms around a smile, breathing getting marginally easier, but that peace is short-lived as the chorus beginsâonly then does he feel the symptoms of real fear.
In every lifetime, his warm voice melts from the speaker.
A falling star just shot from space and hit you directly in the chest, rendering you utterly speechless; even as your gaze finds his glassy eyes, you just canât believe it.
In every lifetime you swore.
Itâs just too perfect.
So, for as long as I may live, I wanna be yours.
Heâs just too perfect.
In every lifetime I'll dip my knee down.
Thereâs no way.
And yet he sinks to one knee, slipping a velvet box from the confines of his pocket. Your hands make purchase around your mouth, stifling a wet cry.
In every lifetime I'll ask to be yours.
"Y/N L/N, will you marry me?"
You drop to your knees, tears tracing cordate-shaped rivulets down your cheeks. "Yes, Han, I'll marry you! I'll marry you!"
Your lips swear forever as they land on his, and that promise echoes far into lifetime number twelve.
ᥣđ© felix + giving you gum wrapper hearts
Lee Felix was stupid in love, heavy on the stupid, figuring he was about to start World War Three to get that gum wrapper out of Seungminâs hand.
âPlease,â Felix begs, drawing out the "e" in an obnoxious whine.
Felix has been professing his love for you through gum wrapper hearts for about as long as heâs been chewing gum, so he is going to be damned if he lets one gum wrapper gets away without meeting his fingers first. Seungminâs eyes harden into an frustrated glare, about two seconds away from punching a pizza-sized hole in his best friendâs face.
âYou know, the more that you beg me for this wrapper, the more I donât want to give it to you,â he deadpans, voice flat with irritation. Felix throws his head back in an ear-splitting groan.
âWhyyy not??â
âOh my gosh, Seungmin, just give him the damn wrapper,â Chan interjects, exasperated.
âYeah, listen to Chan. Give Felix the wrapper,â Felix teases, laying his chin on his hand, fluttering his lashes with a shit-eating grin. Seungmin clenches his jaw, crumpling up the foilâmuch to poor Lixieâs dismay.
âDid you see that, Chan?! Seungmin crumpled my wrapper!â Seungmin squeezes it harder. âLook! Do you see that, Chan?! Seungmin is bullying me!â Chan sighs, digging a knuckle into his eye. He is about five seconds away from sticking both grown toddlers in time out.
âSeungmin, for the sake of my sanity, give Felix the damn gum wrapper.â The fact that he actually had to tell two full-fledged adults that was truly beyond him, yet here he was.
âItâs the principle of it, old manââ As soon as the words leave his lips, Seungmin wants to stuff them right back in. Chan grits his teeth, steam practically whistling from his ears.
Oh, crap.
âYou littleââ Chan dives for Seungmin, to which he squeals, ducking from his elderâs hand, gearing up to smack him square in the forehead. In the clamber of movements, he ends up dropping the beloved wrapper. Felix lets out a squeal of excitement, lunging for the foil. When the crumpled aluminum sits in his hands, he has never felt so rewarded in his entire life, smiling like he just won a million bucks.
Almost out of muscle memory, he begins smoothing it out, folding up all the right corners. He beams, stuffing the little token into his pocket, fingers itching to give it to you later.
âThanks, Seungmin,â Felix smirks, taking a proud sip of his drink. Seungmin manages to stick his tongue out while trapped in a headlock.
âYou suck,â he wheezes, throwing weak slaps onto Chan's bicep. Felix giggles, his phone buzzing against his jeans. Felix quite literally drops everything to pick it up, his heart singing the same song as your special ringtone.
From: My world đ Look, baby, isnât it so beautiful? I took the pic while I was on my way to work. I actually swerved off the road to take the picture, haha. Just wanted to share it with you. Love you, baby!! [Image.png]
When he clicks the image, his phone is flooded with the most breathtaking view. The sky is stained like melting ice cream, cotton candy colors that burst around your hair, though that isnât what Felix is looking atâhe is looking at you. The moment he looks into your lopsided smile, Cupid shoots him all over again.
From: My star-light đ Wow.
From: My star-light đ No words.
From: My star-light đ I didnât know my girlfriend could look so stunning.
From: My star-light đ Oh, wait, there was a sunset back there somewhere.
From: My star-light đ Yeah, that was pretty too.
From: My star-light đ Are we still on for tonight?? I miss youuu.
From: My world đ Oh my gosh, Lix, youâre making me blush, haha.
Seungmin chokes somewhere in the background. Felix doesnât notice. Felix is submerged in the silky ocean of rose-colored love.
From: My world đ Of course we are!!
From: My world đ I miss you too, baby!!
From: My world đ Literally canât wait to see you.
Felix is mid-text when his friends suddenly turn bright red, clambering to untangle themselves from the mess of limbs they got themselves stuck in. Felix doesnât realize the reason Chan is suddenly fixing his hair or Seungmin is unruffling his shirt is because two of the most stunning women just walked past them. Felix was too focused on making time move faster.
ᥣđ©
Felix has never been to space, though he can accurately say that he has tasted the sky.
He sips the stars off your lips, every shared breath an inhale of the galaxy. Felix knows that somewhere, someplace time exists, but not here, not now, not with the blades of grass lacing through his hair; not when heâs pressing your chest flush against his, rolling around on the ground until the night sky is kissing the earth in his vision. Your laughs are buried in his neck when he gets too dizzy to continue, littering kisses on the sensitive flesh there. You pull away for only a moment, brushing a rogue strand of hair off his brow. You smile, dipping to press a soft peck to the tip of his nose.
The two of you had crept into this darkened backyard hours ago; you proposing a date under the stars only to share them between your lips instead. You have been locked in this position for lifetimes, and Felix has no plan to stop.
His palms lift to graze your cheeks before sealing your mouths together again. His soft laugh puffs against the seam of your lips, his smile curving against your own. âGod, I am so in love with you.â
He was; he so, so, so was.
He was so in love with you, he had almost forgotten about his gift. Key word: almost.
âOh, I almost forgot,â he gasps, chasing your warmth when he pulls away, sitting up.
âWhat?â you playfully whine, biting back a grin, settling your hips against his thighs. He chuckles, poking a finger into his pocket, fishing out the gum wrapper heart.
âI know itâs not perfect,â he whispers, cupping something in his palm, âbut I hope you still like it.â He rolls his fingers out bashfully, offering you the crinkled silver heart. He bites his lip, a faint blush falling over the apples of his cheeks. The little gift was by no means perfect; it was ripped, wrinkled, and just a little lopsided. Yet you canât help the fondness that explodes in your chest. Still cradling the heart with care, you throw your arms around his neck, tackling him to the ground. Your chest flush against his, he grunts when you land upon the earth, smacking slobbery kisses all over his face. You donât stop, not until he is flipping you over, now attacking you with equally wet kisses. Your giggles live in the balmy summer air.
To you, he was the sun; but to him, you were the universeÂ
ᥣđ© seungmin + buying you a bouquet every time the old ones wilt
October 11th, 2020.
That was the last time your apartment smelled like something other than florals. That was also the first time Seungmin had ever bought you flowersâa simple gift for your one-year anniversary that spiraled into a four-year tradition. You donât ever talk about it, and he certainly denies it, when you thank him for how the wilting tulips magically evolved into beautiful daylilies. You find it endearing, the faint blush that falls over his cheeks when he tries to convince you that it wasnât him.
Now that you think about it, your white roses did seem to have a little bit of brown on them yesterday.
Mid-wipe of the bathroom counter, you rush down the stairs, almost sliding into the kitchen in your socks. Without fail, there they were: bright red tulips, replacing the withering roses that had been in the vase earlier. A spreading grin pulls at your lips as you check the stove clock, quickly connecting the dots.
You had been cleaning the bathroom most of the evening, your earbuds blocking the world out. He had probably heard you humming from upstairs, choosing the perfect time to sneak in through the door. You squeal, sprinting up the stairs to throw open your bedroom door. You expect to find him lounging on the bed, but instead, you find him below it, cradling a square object in his hands. His head whips around, panic falling over his features. He slams the lid shut before fumbling to shove it right back under the bed, much to your dismay.
âHey, what?â You yelp, diving for the box. Seungmin blocks you, accidentally knocking it out of his hands, unfurling its contents all over the floor.
It looks like a garden just threw up in your bedroom.
Hundreds, thousands of differently shaped petals are scattered on your floor, tufts of colorful memories spread out like a silky scroll. First, you freeze. Then, you gasp; your muscles thawing like a flower unfurling in the snow. It hits you slowly, blossoming in your chest and spilling from your eyesâSeungmin hasnât been throwing away the flowers he bought you. Heâs been collecting them.
You didnât realize you were cryingânot until you spokeââSeungmin, what is this?ââthen you heard it, your voice withering and wet. When you finally go to meet his gaze, he canât seem to look at you, tilting his head down in shame.
âW-Well I-Iâve justâŠâ he begins, trailing off with a rub of his burning neck. âFuck, this is going to sound so stupid,â he flushes, staring down at the single yellow petal that fluttered onto his folded thighs. Suddenly, Seungmin feels your thumb brushing over his knuckles, and something shoots through his skin, something that straightens his spine and evens his breathing.
âI-Iâve umâŠâ This was harder than he thought it would be. âBeen collecting them for a while now, I wanted to keep them for when we get married. Wanted to scatter them down the aisleâŠâ
His voice gets smaller with every word, sinking into himself as though that will make the gravity of the sentence less exposed, less raw. For a second, as silence stretches between you, Seungmin feels so stupid, embarrassment painting his cheeks red. You must think heâs such a fool, must think heâs crazy for ever believing he could marry youâhis thoughts stop the moment your lips meet his, palms pressed firmly against his cheeks.
âI love you,â you whisper in between breaths, kissing him until it feels like you canât kiss anymore; until he falls back upon the feathery bed made of magnolias and memories; until, with a star-lit sigh, he pulls away, untucking the red of a dried rose tangled above your brow. Even surrounded by God's most beautiful creations, he canât bring his gaze to fall from yours, your eyes and all the mesmerizing sparkles they hold.
Seungmin couldnât trace the exact moment he fell in love with you. Rather, it bloomed slowly over time, a feeling that took root; wrapping around the slabs of his ribs.
With you, he grew, and all of a sudden, with every breath he inhales, he finds you fluttering in his chest. At first, it terrified him. Though, now he knowsâsome gardens never die.
ᥣđ© jeongin + stalking your goodreads profile to annotate your favorite books
âSo, youâre a stalker, huh?â you muse, brushing your palm over Jeonginâs shoulder, which was clearly not a good idea, cause no sooner do you make contact is he jumping twenty feet out of his skin. You throw your hands up when he swivels around, ripping off his headphones like they were going to materialize into a baseball bat.
âCrap, y/n, you scared the hell out of me,â Jeongin pants, a relieved smile pulling on his cheeks; grateful that the intruder was indeed his girlfriend and not a 6-foot-tall man in a scream mask. For a second, he wonders if youâre possessed, a lopsided smirk playing on your lips while you tweak out, kind of laughing, kind of nodding, kind of looking like you need an exorcism. Then it hits him. Hits him like a 200-pound dump truck, rendering him breathless once more. He puts Flash to shame by how fast he slams his laptop shut, scrunching his face in cringe. The laugh you let out is devastating, a full-belly guffaw that makes you double over, stumbling straight into his arms.
For a second, when the lamplight hits you just right, Jeongin has to stop.
His breath catches in his throat, taking all of you in. There you were, with your hair falling in messy tangles, your eyelids slightly smudged in black, your smile boxy and sun-bright, you were perfect, and you were sitting on his lap. If you didnât start talking, he would have stared at you for hoursâprobably would have started drooling as well.
âSo, this is how youâve known all my favorite books, huh?â you tease, wrapping your arms around his neck. It takes him a hot second to gather himself, heart fluttering at the newfound proximity.
He stuffs his head into your neck, the heat of his cheeks burning into your skin. âYeahâŠis that weird?â
âIs it weird?? Yang Jeongin, Iâm pretty sure you just inadvertently proposed to me,â you reply, your tone light-hearted though you're dead serious.
âWhat?â He chuckles with a shy smile, leaning back.
âYeah, I mean, you stalk your girlfriendâs Goodreads profile to read and annotate her TBR list. That is a proposal. I donât make the rules.â
âIs that so?â he smirks, inching forward, your noses brushing together.
âYeah,â you whisper, hot breath fanning across his lips, you lean in, finally sealing your mouths shut. Jeongin groans, your thumb swiping the nape of his neck. His heart pounds with a thousand different translations of 'I love you'.
âHow many?â
He hums, slamming back down to earth, still a little bit dizzy.
âHow many books have you bought?â
That sobers him up.
His eyes widen slightly before he bashfully chuckles, awkwardly scratching his ear. âOh, uhâŠnot that many.â
âCan I see them?â Heâs two seconds from saying no, until you brush your lips against his cheeks, then his forehead, then the sides of his eyes, before, finally, he is tasting your grin instead, âPlease?â
Well, how can he say no now?
He fiddles with the bottom of your shirt, biting his lip before sighing and pointing under his bed. âTheyâre all under there.â
You squeal, clambering off him to dive at the foot of his bed, sticking your hands into the dusty abyss below. It doesnât take you but five seconds to find the box, though it takes you 5 minutes to actually pull the damn thing out, feeling more like a dead body than dead trees.
However, when you flip open the lid, the struggle is all worth it. Your jaw drops. Jeonginâs stomach flips upside down.
"Yang Jeongin, thereâs no way..." You peer at him through dewy lashes, there had to be at least fifty books in this container. "You were planning on giving me all of these?"
"Well, yeah. Just...when I had enough time to annotate them."
"You've already given me like 10. How have you found enough time to read them?"
"I read them every night before I go to bed."
"And annotate them?"
He clears his throat, a faint blush falling over his cheeks like rose petals. "Yes."
"Where did you get the money for all this? These books have to have been like a thousand dollars."
"My check had just come in, and I knew how much you liked to read... I just wanted to do something nice for you. Why is this starting to feel kind of like an interrogation? Are you mad? Is this, like, really weird?" Jeongin can feel his eyes widen, anxiously shifting in place.
âOne more question,â you step forward, pinching his chin between your thumb and forefinger. He shutters when you make contact, gaze fluttering down. Jeongin expects you to laugh, maybe demand that he takes them back, or the worst of them all tell him heâs too obsessed. What he doesnât expect you to do is drag him forward, and smash your lips together.
âHow are you so perfect?â you exhale, puffing onto his lips like a breath of his own. He was going to show you how, he was going to show you how all night long.
ᥣđ©
If you thought he was perfect then you definitely think he is perfect now.
The sun slips through the curtains, dyeing your sweaty skin in gold; your mouth is nuzzled into his neck, lashes tickling his skin every time you shift. He draws phantom circles over your naked waist, savoring this moment, soaking your body in until he can remember the feel of your form through memory alone. You stir, feeling his heartbeat pick up.
It must have been a dream that urged you to say it, because somewhere, on the edge of sleep, you murmur, âWhatâs your favorite story?â
He didnât have to think about the answer, not when he had thought about it a million times before. Without hesitation, Jeongin whispers, âOurs.â
(I rushed tf out of some of these I'm sorry)
#stray kids#skz#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids headcanons#skz headcanons#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfic#skz fluff#bang chan x reader#lee know x reader#changbin x reader#hyunjin x reader#han jisung x reader#felix x reader#seungmin x reader#jeongin x reader
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Iâve noticed that yunho has a habit of cradling someoneâs head when he likes them/theyâre affectionate to him?? Like sometimes when heâs hugging the members heâll pat the back of their head in a loving way ugh itïżœïżœïżœs so cute.. heâs so cute.
But Iâve been having thoughts about this relating to the bedroomâŠ. Like heâs being rough with you or whatever but his hand is there at the back of ur head just cradling you against him??? Ugh like I can see him being strict with you but his love will still bleed through with actions like thatâŠ. Iâve being thinking about him too much.. I love him
Also I love u and ur writing!!! I get so excited when youâve posted heheh love u too <3 mwah
ahhhhh omg haiiii <3 thank u for Tuning into all of my crazy thoughts and insanity !!!!!!
Anyways this makes me actually sick and ill because like. yeah yunho can be a little rough in bed but above all else he is insanely kind and sweet and loving and I think little things like this really prove it
I'm talking nasty dirty bleary eyed messy hair drooling unable to walk the next day typa shit... and I think something like this would come out specifically when you're kind of at the end of a session. 3 orgasms deep and you're exhausted but still so needy... and he knows you and your body so well...
"one more for me, baby, hm? you can do that, right?" he's murmuring, shifting so his cock enters you again. you sigh out a moan and he mirrors it, leaning even closer to you to press his forehead against yours.
"fuck -- i don't know, yunho," you whine, but you're canting your hips towards his. "feels so good..."
yunho hums, fond, reaching an arm under your neck to cradle your head, pushing your face into his neck. you follow easily, so obedient, and his heart clenches at the same time his dick twitches inside of you. "i know, sweetheart," he sighs out, listening to the little noises you breathe into his skin. his other arm helps you lift your leg over his hip, then rests on the small of your back before he picks up the pace. "want you to feel good."
#i think above all else the rush yunho gets from dominance also is from trust you so obviously have in him#I think intimacy is rly important to him..#đŠ.txt#đŠ answers#yuyu#ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez yunho x reader#ateez yunho timestamp#jeong yunho x reader#jeong yunho smut
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i see cigarette mum thomas wayne and raise you smoking surgeon thomas wayne
his aura reminds me of a smoking surgeon i work with so here you go:
"how long until the next?" "about ten?" "make it fifteen, i need a smoke."
constantly being told he is "unpleasant" and just shrugging like, "you think i'm unpleasant because i don't fuckin' like you."
surgeon thomas who smokes three cigarettes between cases then sprays cologne and gargles mouthwash on his way back to the theatre department
surgeon thomas telling patients not to smoke immediately after chainsmoking a whole pack in the carpark following a >6hr surgery
"i think it would be best if you quit smoking," sounding like marge simpson. "but you smoke??" "this ain't about me."
there is a one hour window between long cases because he is Busyâą
surgeon thomas writing research papers on prevalence of smoking among physicians and the harm smoking causes but continuing anyway
baby bruce asking if he can try smoking and thomas going, âyou wanna drink gasoline too? wanna break your mother's heart?â then showing bruce what smoking does to the body through pictures
anytime bruce is injured while playing, thomas is like, âit's fine, you're just being dramatic," while gluing bruce's knee in the kitchen
martha or alfred bringing thomas lunch only to be told he is outside smoking so they give it to random coworkers like, âenjoy đ„°â
I canât explain, it but Thomas Wayne should be a cigarette mom
God help you if you cross this man at 4 in the morning at a Krispy Donut parking lot cause his cat of a child chased a rat. Voice sounding like a broken car motor, but like. Sexy. âThe hell are you lookinâ at?! God damn itâ BRUCE. Take that outta your mouth.â
#surgeon#surgery#surgeon thomas wayne#thomas wayne#bruce wayne#martha wayne#alfred pennyworth#dc#dc comics#dc universe#young bruce wayne#shoutout to my fiancée who i sent this to so she could spell check for me
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something like love
part - 3
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 3.3k
c/w - language, slight homophobia
a/n - hi, iâm back! i wrote the majority of this part while high and sheâs mostly unedited so if you see mistakes, no you donât. iâm so happy with how yâall are receiving this story and iâm having so much fun writing it! iâd like to reiterate that iâm sure paigeâs mom and step-dad are amazing parents and this is all fictional! as always, i hope you enjoy, and lmk what you think!
Finals go about as well as Azzi expected. With the way she and Paige locked in three days before, sheâs not too surprised. They didnât even go to the gym the entire time, instead staying shut up in Paigeâs bedroom with highlighters and textbooks and laptops. Although, Paige did get pretty stir-crazy on day two and started doing push-ups on the floor. Azzi had gotten a weird vibe that she was showing off.
What did make studying a little harder, though, was the fact that Paige seems to be having trouble separating their acting from their actual friendship, and has thus taken to calling Azzi âmaâ and brushing her thigh even while theyâre alone. Azzi doesnât know how to tell her to stop, or if she even really wants to.
Itâs now the day after finals and only two days before they leave for Montana, where the real challenge will begin. Needing some space from Paige, which is a rarity with them practically living together these days, Azzi has retired to own room to pack her bags. Itâs not going well.
Usually, sheâs an amazing packer. She enjoys it, even, finds it soothing to create a checklist, pick her outfits, and pack her belongings just so so that they all fit.
Today, itâs a little different. Because today, she doesnât know what to plan for, and she doesnât know her to make all her shit fit into this suitcase, and she canât decide what outfits to bring because all she can think about with each article of clothing is whether or not Paige would like it. Would Paige like these leggings, the way they hug her ass? Would she like this tight top with the plunging neckline? Would she compliment these shoes, ogle this little skirt?
Being in love with Paige is nothing new. But this, this feels foreign to Azzi, feels like when they were teenagers and she was just beginning to realize that her feelings for Paige were more than platonic. It feels nervous and jittery and insecure, and over the years Paige has become safe. She is secure and strong and rooted deeply in Azziâs very being. Azzi wants more out of her, sure, but that fact hasnât made her this afraid in years.
Groaning, Azzi fists up the sweatshirt sheâs holding and then buries her face in it to scream. Sheâs about halfway through her little tantrum when a knock on her door startles her out of it. She doesnât bother to lift her head out of the sweatshirt to mumble, âFuck off.â
The door opens anyway, of course, and then thereâs Carolâs voice, cautiously asking, âWhatâs going on in here?â
Azzi finally lifts her head to stare at her best friend. âTrying to pack for Montana.â
âYeah?â Carol asks, still speaking softly as if she were trying to soothe a rabid animal. âAnd, uh, howâs that goinâ for you?â
Azzi groans again. âReally great, yeah. Itâs awesome.â
âMm.â Carol hums, then perches herself on the edge of Azziâs bed, looking down at her. âWhatâs going on?â
âNothing,â Azzi says automatically, because she canât tell her best friend whatâs actually going on, or else sheâd give away she and Paigeâs secret. But Carol looks at her suspiciously, like she might start interrogating her at any second, and so Azzi quickly decides to tell a half-truth. âOk, I just, Iâm nervous to see Paigeâs family in Montana.â
Carol furrows her brow. âBut havenât you met them before?â
âI have,â Azzi nods. âBut only the times they came up to visit Paige, and those were far and few between.â Azzi canât help the bitter tone that seeps into the last part.
âYeah,â Carol says. âFrom what Iâve heard it doesnât seem like theyâre super involved with her. Not like her dad and step-mom.â
âTheyâre not, and they never have been,â Azzi says, clutching the sweater a little tighter as if she were choking it. âPaigeâs mom left when Paige was like three and she didnât come back to visit until an entire year later. Paige didnât even remember her by then. She says she hugged her dadâs leg and cried the first time she visited,â Azzi seethes, remembering how Paige had laughed quietly when she first told Azzi the story, her eyes sad. âAnd now theyâre homophobic and totally shut Paige out when she told them she was a lesbian and theyâre going to hate me, itâs going to be so hostile and awful andââ Azzi cuts herself off with another scream into the sweatshirt. Vaguely, she realizes itâs an old one of Paigeâs, something she stole way back in high school. Fitting.
âHey, hey,â Carol says, sliding onto the floor next to Azzi and patting her knee, âyou gotta chill out, okay? You know Paige wonât let them say a word to you. That girl would protect you with her life,â she says earnestly, and it makes Azziâs heart skip.
âYeah?â Azzi asks, just because she wants to hear it from someone else.
âShe loves you a lot, Az. And I think we all realized it a lot sooner than you did, because yâall were too fucking stupid to notice how different you are around each other.â
Azzi furrows her brow. âDifferent?â
âYeah,â Carol nods, patting Azziâs leg. âEver since we got to UConn, the two of you are always in your own world. You listen to her for hours if she wants you to and sheâs always touching on you, being all protective and shit. And donât even get me started on the way she looks at you when she thinks you wonât notice. I mean, you two are dating now and she still does that shit.â She shakes her head affectionately, then laughs. âAnd yâall were like that long before we got here, too.â
Azzi isnât really listening anymore, too stuck up on thinking, Paige looks at me?
It might seem like a silly thought because Azzi is stealing secret glances at Paige all the time, and she has done for years. But that makes sense, because Azzi is hopelessly in love with her. Paige has absolutely no reason to be staring at Azzi when she thinks nobodyâs watching.
Carol must be saying all this to make her feel better. She always knows the right thing to say.
âYeah,â Azzi says, instead of saying what sheâs really thinkingâThereâs absolutely no chance Paige looks at me in secretâand when Carol leans in to hug her, she returns it, letting her head rest on her best friendâs shoulder. âThanks, Carol. Youâre right.â
âI know, girl,â Carol responds. Azzi takes a deep breath, trying her best to chill out, and just as theyâre separating, her door cracks open. Of course, speak of the devil, in pops Paige Bueckers, blond hair flowing loose around her shoulders. âAm I interrupting something?â
âNah,â Carol says, waving Paige in. âJust chatting.â
âGossip?â Paige asks, shutting the door behind her.
âDonât worry, weâd never gossip without you.â
Paige laughs and then looks down at Azzi, who is quite busy doing the very important job of picking at a scab on her knee. âHey, babe. Everything good?â
Azzi looks between her two best friends, and Carolâs giving her a soft, encouraging smile which Paige clocks immediatelyâthe three of them have gotten good at reading each other over the yearsâand she walks over to them, sitting down across from Azzi. âOkay, whatâs up?â
Surprisingly, Azziâs eyes begin to sting and a hard lump forms in her throat, emotion overtaking her more strongly than it usually does, and she only has to wonder why for just a moment before she remembers, her period should be starting any day now. Stubbornly, she swallows down the tears, refusing to embarrass herself by crying in front of them. âNothingâs up. Iâm justââ
âShe was having a hard time packing,â Carol says quickly, pushing herself up off the ground. âHow about you help her, Paige? Sit on her suitcase so she can zip it or something.â Thereâs a warning in her tone and Paige gets it immediately, based off the way she nods and scoots closer to Azzi.
As soon as Carolâs gone, Paige is reaching out to rest her arms on Azziâs knees. âWhatâs the matter?â
âNothing,â Azzi says, but Paige doesnât buy it one bit. âReally, itâs fine. Itâs dumb.â
âNot dumb, ma,â Paige says softly. Her thumb rubs against Azziâs knees, and this is something Paige only does when theyâre pretending. Azzi wonders again if she should warn Paige about the fact that their dating habits are seeping into their normal friendship, even when theyâre alone. That could become dangerous.
But right now, the comforting warmth of it is welcome.
âSeriously, just tell me,â Paige urges, impatience evident in her tone. âYouâre makinâ me all nervous.â
âDonât, itâs actually not a big deal at all.â Azzi figures she should say something before Paige builds this up in her head too much. âI just, Iâm worried about seeing your mom. I know sheâs not gonna like me because ofâŠâ she gestures between them, âthis. But I know sheâs not my favorite person either and Iâm just kinda scared that everythingâs gonna clash and youâre gonna end up getting hurt.â
Paige stares at her for a second, then nods and sighs. âYeah, that makes sense.â She looks down at her hands in Azziâs lap, then back up at her. âBut, like, if anything bad happens, itâs not gonna be on you. Itâll be on my parents for being shitty. You donât gotta worry âbout me.â
Suddenly, Azzi feels guilty. Here she is having a mental breakdown over a situation that ultimately wonât affect her nearly as much as itâll affect Paige. And here Paige is, sitting across from her, comforting her. The hands on Azziâs knees start to feel too hot.
âYou must be nervous, too,â Azzi says. âYou donât know how theyâre gonna react when you show up with me rather than some guy.â
Paige shrugs it off, but her throat bobs. âNah, itâs alright.â
Paige looks chill as can be, shoulders slumped, face relaxed. But Azzi knows her too well, notices the way her fingers are twitching and her eyes are looking everywhere but her.
âYou donât have to act in front of me,â Azzi says, hoping it doesnât sound too corny.
âI know,â Paige says immediately. She finally meets Azziâs eyes. âListen, I might be a little nervous. But itâs whatever. And you donât gotta be nervous, either. Whatever happens, weâll be there together, yeah?â
Azzi nods, lifting Paigeâs hands off her knees to take them in her own. âYeah, youâre right.â
âI got you,â Paige says softly, and it flusters Azzi but sheâs more focused on the way Paige is looking at her, this little crease between her brows like sheâs trying to figure something out. Just like after their kiss. But Azzi clears her throat and Paige snaps out of it, pulling her hands away from Azziâs to brush herself off. âAnd you got me. Just like always, yeah?â She stands up, then looks around awkwardly, suddenly all jittery and weird. âSo, uh, do you actually need help packing? Iâm basically a master packer, I could get it done in prolly five minutes, flat.â
Azzi knows Paige is trying to deflect from whatever that was, and it seems like, once again, theyâre not going to talk about it. Amazing.
âYouâre the worst packer Iâve met in my life, P,â Azzi teases, going with it. âI usually need to help you.â
âIâon need no help,â Paige waves her off. Then she looks down at Azziâs suitcase and scratches the back of her neck awkwardly. âBut, uh, if you wanted to come up to my place to help with some fits I wouldnât be mad.â
Azzi shakes her head, deciding to leave her packing for later. âCome on, stupid head. Letâs go.â
âYo,â Paige says, following her out of the room. âDonât call me stupid.â
âSorry youâre right,â Azzi says. âShit-for-brains is way more fitting.â
âYo!â
âââââââââââââ
Before leaving for the airport, their teammates act like theyâre going off to war. They all hug them extra-long and talk forlornly about what theyâre gonna do without âmom and dadâ around.
Now that Azzi and Paige are âdatingâ, the two of them get called mom and dad more often than they get called their actual names. Itâs kind of cute, actually, even if it is annoying sometimes.
âYou kids be good,â Paige says sternly, playing into the act, and Azzi ruffles KKâs hair and says, âdonât bother your brothers.â
âYeah, donât bother us, Camera,â Ice says, and KK tackles her. Paige and Azzi take the opportunity to sneak out.
Theyâre at the airport now, waiting in the lounge where they only get approached by two polite fans asking for pictures. Paige is just dozing off when their flight is called, and Azzi manages to drag her through the gate into the plane before sheâs slouching in her seat, falling asleep as soon as she sits down.
She wakes thirty minutes later, and she rests her head on Azziâs shoulder when they start up a movie to watch. When she does, instinct takes over and Azzi doesnât really realize what sheâs doing until she kisses Paige on the head, nuzzling into her blonde hair, and sheâs mid-nuzzle when she remembers that they have no reason to be all up on each other like this. Paige is stiff on her shoulder now, and Azzi laughs awkwardly, lifting her head to stare blankly at the movie. âMy bad. Habit.â
âYouâre good,â Paige says. She softens on Azziâs shoulder, and then she mumbles something completely incoherent.
âSorry, what?â Azzi asks, popping an earbud out to hear better.
âHuh?â Paige says.
âYou said something.â
âNah, youâre hearinâ stuff.â
âPaige.â
âShh, Iâm missing the movie.â
âPaige, seriously, whatâd you just say? You tryna talk crap?â
âNo,â Paige says emphatically. She shrugs, then leans her head a little further into Azziâs neck and mutters, âI just said I didnât mind.â
âDidnât mind what?â Azzi asks, scrunching her nose.
âAre you dumb?â Paige says.
âRude,â Azzi responds, and then she says, âWait. You didnât mind when I kissed you?â
âDidnât mind when you kissed my head,â Paige corrects.
Itâs Azziâs turn to mumble, âWell, I know you didnât mind when we kissed for real, either,â and Paige hears it and lifts her head up, shoving Azzi away. âHey, chill with allat. I said that to you in a moment of weakness.â
Azzi shoves her right back, hoping to hide the feelings sheâs sure are written all across her face, because Paige has admitted that she wants to kiss Azzi again and now theyâre bringing that up, and what does it even mean?
âAw,â Azzi says, trying for casual, âyou big olâ softy.â
âI ainât soft,â Paige says gruffly, looking out the window and crossing her arms over her chest.
âI think you are,â Azzi sing-songs, then she leans over into Paigeâs space. Paige doesnât turn to her, but her breath hitches when Azzi whispers close to her ear, âI think youâre soft as hell for me.â
Paige stares stubbornly out the window. âNo clue what youâre talkinâ about.â
âMm,â Azzi hums, and then she rests her chin on her shoulder, gazing out the window as well, even though her mind is elsewhere. âI think you like doing this with me, P.â Feeling bold, she sneaks her hand onto Paigeâs thigh, clad in those basketball shorts that always do something to Azziâs head. âI think youâre surprised by how much you like it. Having an excuse to be all over me whenever you want. Acting like Iâm all yours when weâre around people.â
Paige gasps when Azzi presses her lips to her neck, not kissing her but just resting there, and she turns back to look at her when Azzi lifts her head.
Theyâre inches apart.
Paige looks at her lips. Sheâs been doing that a lot ever since their conversation in the bathroom. Azzi is a soldier for the amount of restraint she usually has, because when Paige looks at her like thisâthis new, unfamiliar look on her face while she stares at her lipsâevery bone in her body wants to close the gap between them.
Today, her restraint feels frayed. And so she leans forward, slowly, and kisses just the edge of Paigeâs mouth. Not a real kiss. But not friendly, either.
Paige gasps.
Azzi breathes out shakily, and then she shoves Paigeâs face away playfully. âWatch our movie, dumbass.â
Azzi is shaking for the entirety of the movie, but at least sheâs pretending to watch it. The entire time, she can feel Paigeâs eyes burning into her skin.
Azzi gets the sinking feeling that something unexpected is going to happen on this trip.
âââââââââââââ
They get off the plane at 7pm. By the time they get their bags, itâs 7:30. And by the time Paigeâs parents pull up to get them, it is 7:45. Paige clutches Azziâs to her side with one hand, her suitcase held tight in the other. Her mom and step-dad look at them strangely and whisper to each other before getting out of the car.
âHey, kiddo,â Dean is the first to speak. âHow was the flight?â
Paige releases Azzi so he can pull her into an awkward hug while her mom stands back. âYeah, uh, it was good.â
âGood, good,â Dean nods. âThatâs good.â He glances back at his wife, who is looking between Paige and Azzi with this expression on her face that Azzi doesnât like at all. âHere, um, let me get you ladiesâ bags.â
He takes a suitcase in each hand and pops the trunk to start loading up their stuff. He murmurs something to Amy when he passes, by, and she nods stiffly before taking a measly step forward. âHi, baby. YourâŠhair looks nice.â
Azzi almost squeezes her eyes shut at how awkward this is. But at the same time she canât, watching mother and daughter like sheâs watching a train wreck.
âThanks, Mom.â Paige is the first to reach out, and even though Amy holds her stiffly, Paige falls into her motherâs arms, something she has never been able to do often. Azzi can tell Paige thinks it may be the last time and is trying to savor it.
âPaige,â Amy says, pulling away from her daughter after a few moments and glancing pointedly at Azzi, âI see you brought your friend.â
Paige looks back at Azzi, who, despite her own nervousness, gives Paige her most encouraging smile.
âThatâs alright, we have a pullout,â Amy says after neither of them responds. âWouldâve been nice to know that I needed to shop for an extra person, though.â
Azzi winces. What a rude thing to say.
âSo, whereâs Ryan?â she goes on, and Azziâs stomach churns. This is it. âYour father and I have been dying to meet him.â
âNot my father,â Paige murmurs quietly enough that Dean wonât be able to hear from where heâs still lingering behind the car, taking great care in loading up their bags.
âDonât be like that, Paige, you know what I meant,â Amy sighs, then runs a hand down her face. âRyan isnât here, is he?â
At this, Dean perks up, closing the trunk door.
Paige backs up a few steps, back to Azzi, and takes her hand to pull her forward. âNo, heâs not.â
âUh,â Azzi says, speaking for the first time when everyone looks at her expectantly. âNice to see you guys again.â
âGood to see you too, Azzi,â Dean says jovially, even though theyâve only met a few times.
Amy looks at Paige. âWhy is she here with you?â
She looks as if she knows the answer and is dreading it.
Paige, always so brave, strives on anyway.
âMom, Dean,â Paige says. âIâm sorry for springing this on you, I know it seems last-minute. ButâŠâ she looks over at Azzi, who squeezes her hand a little.
She smiles softly down at her, and doesnât even bother to look at her parents when she says, âAzziâs my girlfriend.â
Amy places a hand to her chest and Dean walks forward to rub her back soothingly. Azzi inches a little closer to Paige. Here they go.
@azzibuckets @smiths-fan--13 @ch12334
#azzi fudd#fake dating#paige buckets#paige bueckers#pazzi#pazzi fics#the people's princess#uconn wbb#wbb#wcbb
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indebted
dark!joel x f!reader. one shot.
summary: you're having a bad day. one you think is getting better once a rough around the edges man comes to your rescue. you didn't expect it would takes such a sharp turn for the worse. first person pov reader. 9.2k words.
warnings: 18+ MDNI! DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT! NON CONSENUAL SEXUAL ACTS, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION, pervy, sleazy, and foul mouthed joel. degradation, sexual favors, forced oral and piv, virgin reader, corruption, innocence, and daddy kinks featured. biiig ol' age gap (reader's age not mentioned other than "young" but i imagine her as 18-20 as she has a relatively immature attitude, imagining joel 50-55), this is not for everyone and that's okay. i'm not responsible for the content you consume.
a/n: i had some hormonal induced insanity and came up with this. i had a great time trying out a new pov for writing fic! enjoy him as much as i did, friends đ€ and thanks @joelstummy for the amazing freaky beta work!
Iâll be the first person to admit now that what Iâve been doing is stupid. Dangerous. Idiotic. The list goes on. I can hear my fatherâs stern, militant voice in the back of my head, telling me as much. Except now he likely wonât get the chance to relish in it because Iâm going to die here. Way out here where nobody will find my body, and Iâll be just another person that went missing in the QZ, never to be seen again. But this time, itâs not some sleazy FEDRA scheme and coverup or a smuggling deal gone wrong.
Itâs utterly and completely my fault.
Sneaking out wasnât meant to become a habit, but after the first few times, I lost the fear and adrenaline that had burned hot through my veins at those first steps of freedom. I craved it again, so I kept going further. And further. Away from civilization as I knew it, until the cluster of buildings known as the Quarantine Zone became a tiny speck in the distance. Out here was desolation, nothingness, only abandoned buildings to explore. The infected were another story, but I started to learn routes that helped me avoid encounters with them.
It helped clear my mind after a while, this newly found sense of adventure. All Iâd ever known was a cage, a walled city that had become so mundane I felt my insides starting to rot from the listlessness of it all. My father was important - top in the rankings - I knew that, and it was all the more reason to keep me safely locked away while the city stirred with chatter of an uprising against FEDRA.Â
He never bothered to check on me much, anyways, making my little forays quite easy. Once Iâd persuaded enough people with ration cards, theyâd shown me the tunnel leading to freedom. Well, that tunnel, then another, a ladder to climb back up to the surface, and only then could I go through a precarious hole in a chain link fence. That was the smugglerâs route, they said, an easy ticket to getting in and out without being noticed.Â
Iâd been abusing it, staying out for days at a time, never able to drink in enough of this quiet solitude that was of my own choosing, not my fatherâs. I couldnât quite figure out what hole inside of me I was trying to fill, but Iâd be damned if I stopped trying.
However, today seemed to be my last chance to try at all. His footsteps had been quiet - so quiet - approaching behind me. An old store, full of half decayed plushies, molded candies, and other adorable things from lives long put in the past, had called to me, distracted me. The arm around my throat, constricting, the other coming up to put a hand over my mouth. A dirty, putrid smell encompassing everything as I sputtered against him. This is it, Iâd thought. What a waste.
I scream and fight against the strong hold he has on me, a nasty sneer right against my skin. âWhatâs some fresh meat like you doing waaaay out here, huh?â a dark voice rattles into my ear.
I scream behind his dirty palm in response, kicking my legs back at him. I should have learned more self defense, but who needs it when youâve spent most of your life safely tucked away with your family name as your biggest protector?
âYou smell good⊠real goodâŠâ The creepâs voice buzzes by me as he takes a deep breath in, making me shudder. One swift kick and Iâm sure this is it, the one to knock him senseless and let me escape. Heâs smart for how distracted he seems to be by my scent, and heâs one step ahead of me. My legs are kicked out from underneath me as I rear one back, and I fall to the ground, the man coming down with me to sit on my back, straddling my body in a fluid motion. He grips my hands behind my back, leaving me helpless in my fight, kicking and screaming. Iâm ice and heat all at once, my body burning in a frozen blaze, my fight or flight quickly turning to fawn as his weight presses down on me.
âYou can have anything in my backpack, anything! Please, let me go! I - I donât want any trouble,â I choke out pathetically, hating how my voice comes out in shaky waves. This isnât how to appeal to people like this, people who have lost their sense of humanity, evident by the way heâs now grinding himself down onto my jean clad asscheeks.Â
A laugh comes out of him that would haunt me as evil incarnate for the rest of my days if I wasnât so sure that I was going to die at the hands of this man after he was done with me. âWe both know I donât give a fuck about any damn backpack of yours. I donât want any trouble either, sweet cheeks, I just think youâd have a lot of fun with me and my friends. But mostly me,â he replies with the hint of a wink in his voice.Â
My stomach clenches, sickness rolling in that is only furthered as the man leans down, cloaking me with his large form. I canât turn enough to see him, to even know what this violation of a man looks like, but his energy is beyond hideous as I catch a glimpse of his yellowing teeth in a grin before he pushes my head down to the cracked linoleum tiles. My hair tangled in his fingers, he holds me down hard, and I struggle to breathe as he crushes me beneath him.
âNow, are you gonna come easily, or do I need to do things the hard way? Either way is fine with me, for a fine piece of ass like this. In fact, I might prefer it the hard way, but weâd hate to ruin this pretty skin of yours, wouldnât we?â He says slowly, pressing the cold blade of a knife to my throat.
âO-okay, okay,â I acquiesce, stopping my squirming, just needing a bit of room to breathe, my lungs heavy inside my chest. My panic only makes my chest tighter, even when the man leans back the tiniest bit. I had hoped that my sudden compliance would get that knife off my throat, but it hasnât. âJust donât hurt me⊠pleaseâŠâ I whimper.
He lets out a long, ragged sigh. âAfraid I canât promise that.âÂ
Iâve never felt fear like this, such certainty that I was about to be ruined, my life as I know it changing without a chance to even look back. I squeeze my eyes shut and brace for it, for anything heâs about to do next, finally accepting that there isnât any appealing to scummy men in a scummy world. But nothing comes except for a muffled crack ringing through the air, and then a thud as the entire weight of my adversary falls on top of me, crushing. Something warm has splattered on my skin, my face, then starts to coat my jacket, seeping through. I shake violently, begging my body to catch a full breath under the weight of him.Â
Then as suddenly as it happened, it stops, the body yanked off of me and tossed to the side with ease. The deafening thud of his entire weight onto the ground is stark. I flip over and scramble backwards, grabbing the knife that had fallen from the manâs hand in his swift, final moment. Holding up a shaky hand, I grip the knife tightly, looking up to face a brutish, tall man with overgrown hair of chestnut and gray. A trim beard with the same coloring wraps around his tightly set jaw. Heâs all wide shoulders, thick arms, broad chest, and my senses go on high alert again. His gun is practically still smoking as it hangs at his side, an active threat.
âYâalright?â he drawls, thick and deep, echoing through the abandoned shop. One step closer to me has the knife practically flailing as I struggle to calm my hands, a strained hum alongside my shaky breathing the only sound I seem capable of making.
âPut that thing down,â he says calmly, almost exasperated. His stance slackens, one knee pushed out as he sizes me up. Iâm likely the most miserable looking thing heâs seen in a while, Iâm sure. âYouâre harmless.â
âH-how do I know youâre not with him?â I blurt out.
My gruff savior lifts his brows incredulously. âThat guy?â he asks, motioning impatiently to the dead body only a foot away. âThink Iâd be puttinâ a bullet right in his skull if he was my best buddy?â
My eyes dance over him as I think. He has a point, and he did just save me from whatever debauched things that strangerâs mind had been conjuring up.
âY-yeah, you have a point,â I finally say. He steps closer, and this time, I let him, putting the knife down. He motions with an authoritarian air for me to push it away, and I obey immediately, flinging it across the room.Â
âPoor fucker died with a hard on, didnât he?â The man muses as his boots thud on the way over to the body, kicking it slightly as if to check, letting it roll back before turning his attention on me. âNow, are you usually this stupid, cominâ into hunter territory, or what?â he asks, reaching a hand down to me, presumably to help me up.
âI didnât knowâŠâ I mumble, letting his hand hang there. He doesnât snatch it back right away, although I can tell he wants to, that heâs already beyond exasperated by his day and the last thing heâd wanted was a damsel in distress like me. I hate that heâs proving all the things Iâd been trying to disprove about myself by coming out on these solo trips into the great, big outside. Iâm weak. Dependent. Needy. It makes my skin crawl with self loathing and frustration.
âDidnât know, huh? So just clueless, then?â the man spits out, staring down at me with darkened eyes that make me turn my head away in shame. At my sullen silence, he seems to soften a little. âIâm Joel,â he says, an offering to go along with his outstretched hand.
I sigh, taking it and telling him my own name. Iâm up on my feet, dusting myself off and looking at him shyly now. I donât know what people are supposed to say when someone saves their life, so I just mumble, âThank you.â
Joel snorts, nodding in acknowledgment as he crouches to pat down the body, seeming to come up short of anything interesting. âDonât thank me yet,â he says, standing back to his full, towering height, glancing around with sharp eyes. âWe should move.â
I might be as stupid as he says, because I wordlessly start to follow him towards the door. His hand stretches out behind him, open and inviting me in as he checks outside the door with a careful peek, his gun held tightly in the other. I stare down at it in disbelief. âCâmon, I donât bite,â he sighs, that perpetual vexation in his tone again as he twitches his brows at me. âNeed you close by. Anâ it seems you have a tendency to go where you shouldnât.â
My cheeks grow hot at the harsh truth of it, and I grasp his hand without any further objections, marveling for a moment at the way it envelops mine. All calloused and hard, mine soft and unused for labor of any kind.Â
âIâve got a safehouse not too far from here.â
âA safehouse?â
âItâs already gettinâ dark. There ainât no way weâre making it back to the QZ today, princess,â he retorts quickly, the pet name mocking on his tongue.
âHowâd you know?â I ask softly, disappointment pressing in on my shoulders.
He chuckles out more of a snort, pulling me around a bend, slowly leaving behind the dangerous territory that Iâd unknowingly encroached on. âYouâre a FEDRA princess if Iâve ever seen one,â he tells me, and my heart sinks that I was so easy to read. Iâd seen how capable this man Joel was, but damn was he was astute, more than Iâd given him credit for.Â
I chew at my lip. âFair enough,â I mumble under my breath, letting him take his well earned win. The longer I hang onto Joelâs hand, letting him expertly weave me through the barren streets, the safer I start to feel. He knows where heâs going, a practiced route heâs taken countless times, and it hits me then that this man is a smuggler. He has to be.
âAre you a smuggler?â I ask pointedly. âIâve heard that people like that come in and out of the QZ.â
Joel falters for just a brief second, giving me a wily grin. âLook whoâs readinâ who now,â he says with a dry chuckle. âAinât gonna run and tell your daddy, are you?â
I shake my head, pressing my lips together in a smile. âI can keep a secret.â In fact, I like keeping secrets from my father, hence the sneaking out, so Joel can count on me to never rat him out.
His amused grin in response lights a little flame akin to friendship inside of me. This grumpy old bastard could smile after all. âJust through here,â he says, letting the smile drop, taking a sharp left down a street just as a sprinkle of rain starts to fall on us. Itâs a less urban area - more like a neighborhood - sprouted with apartment buildings and abandoned, vine covered cars. Itâs my favorite thing about all the exploration Iâve been doing, seeing the way nature can reclaim anything and make it her own.Â
The cracked street below us makes me tread carefully, lagging behind as Joelâs hand tugs me along urgently. We turn down an alley, Joel whipping his head left to right before dragging me behind him, finally dropping my hand to open a door that leads right into a tiny lobby and a stairwell. He runs a hand through his damp hair, slicking it back some - a rather handsome look for him, now that Iâm thinking about it. I try to ignore that thought as his voice booms through the empty room.
âUp,â he commands, gripping my hand again and leading us up the stairs.Â
My stomach sinks a little when he takes out a key, unlocking a padlock on one of the apartments numbered 405 and pushing the old, chipped door inwards. I have no reason not to trust Joel, he saved my life afterall, but I canât shake the nerves I feel from being in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar man. Itâs quiet here, likely nobody in the vicinity but the two of us.
âHome sweet home,â he grunts out, dropping his backpack and gun holster near the door and shrugging off his damp jacket, leaving him in a plain tee shirt that hugs his muscular frame. Itâs a small, cramped apartment with a living room and kitchen directly next to it, a little window cut into the wall, peering in on the living room from above the stove. It looks as if itâs left exactly as it was years ago, full of furniture and clutter, only a vessel for Joel to use without making it his own at all. I peer past to see a small hallway I can only assume leads to a bedroom and bathroom.
âKnow it ainât the palace youâre probably used to, but weâll be safe anâ dry here,â he say, and I roll my eyes behind his back. If Joel thinks that I live in a palace, heâs clearly misunderstood the state that the QZ is in. My fatherâs house is spacious, sure, but itâs just as dilapidated as the rest of the city. The only difference is the level of protection afforded to our homes.
He ambles into the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets with a clatter, then comes back moments later with an open can of beans and two forks. Iâm still standing in the entryway, unsure of what to do with myself.
âHungry?â he asks gruffly, and I shake my head, wide eyed. Iâd lost my appetite the minute that man had grabbed me earlier, and I couldnât seem to get it back. Joel shrugs, digging in with a messy forkful of from the can. âYour funeral,â he says, chewing.
Joel sinks down onto the couch with a tiny groan, setting down the can on the side table next to his armrest, giving the other cushion an expectant look. âWell, you gonna sit your ass on down anâ tell me why the hell I had to save it today, or what? Why the hell youâre wanderinâ around like itâs a free for all out there?â
I flinch slightly at his harsh tone, but gingerly step my way into the room, unzipping my jacket and shedding it. For the chill outside, the temperature inside the apartment is more comfortable than Iâd expect, my skin welcoming the change. Joel eyes my thin tee shirt, and I feel a flash of heat sweep my skin before I feel the prickle of goosebumps, knowing my nipples are poking through the fabric. His eyes catch there before he promptly averts them.
I sit precariously next to Joel on the loveseat, pressed as far away as I can from him, not wanting to cramp his personal space. But he seems to have no problem with that anyways, his legs spread wide open in a comfortable stance, leaned back against the cushions. He pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes shut for a moment as he awaits my answer.Â
âI was⊠exploring,â I say simply, cringing at how ridiculous it sounds coming out of my mouth. Who leaves perfect safety to wander around in a dangerous world on purpose? For no other reason than curiosity and a sudden, rebellious sense of defiance?
His eyes snap open, head pulling up from the couch, turning my way. âExplorinââŠâ He mulls on the word, slowly licking his lips before pursing them. âYouâre tellinâ me I had to save a FEDRA brat today âcause she was explorinâ? You really are stupid. âCourse you are, look how young yâare. Look how fuckinâ... sheltered.â Joel throws his hands up, landing them on his thighs with a soft thud, sighing. âCanât even blame ya.â
I pluck up every bit of courage I have, glaring at him with narrowed eyes. âLook, it was really nice of you to save me and everything, and I do thank you for it. Iâm sorry if I messed up whatever⊠smuggling stuff you had going on today, but Iâd appreciate it if you didnât call me⊠stupid.â The last word is quiet, mousy, and I turn my head down, eyes shining with unshed tears that I silently curse myself for. My fatherâs voice rings through my head - you stupid girl! - making me shudder.
Joel sucks at his teeth. âHit a nerve, I see,â he says passively. âAlright, Iâm sorry kiddo. I just mean, youâre puttinâ yourself at risk doinâ what youâre doinâ, and it ainât a smart idea. Yeah?â
âYeah,â I sigh out, relaxing a little. âI just needed to get away.â
âFrom your dear old daddy?â he teases, picking up the can, shoveling several more bites into his mouth. I go silent, picking at a thread on the couch rather than answer him. âAh, another nerve, I see. Daddy issues. Couldâve guessed that one.â
âI donât have -â
âSweetheartâŠâ Joel interrupts, looking at me from under his brows, pulling his lip between his teeth, seeming to look at me in a fresh light. It sends my skin tingling, the way he eyes me, a glint in his stare. It seems to prove his point, the way a pet name from a middle aged man seems to immobilize me against my will. I want to slap the smug look off his face, but I have no grounds to do so, only grumbling quietly with my cheeks blazing in embarrassment. A prickle of something else works its way deep into my belly, something warm at how his scrutinizing eyes flick over my body, the lines in his face set, showing his age, his experience.Â
âTake a piece of advice from a man probably as old as your daddy, then. Trust me when I say that outside those walls ainât the place to find what youâre lookinâ for. The sooner you let go of that notion, the better off youâll be.âÂ
Frustration blooms hot in my chest, overpowering whatever the hell that sudden, unwanted feeling was. Iâm tired of people dictating what I can and canât do, what Iâm capable of. âPeople do it all the time - smugglers - you would know,â I retort. âIâve been doing it for months. Never had a problem until today. It was just some bad luck.â
âBad luck? Really? Youâd be that manâs newest little cock sleeve if it werenât for me savinâ your ass,â Joel growls, standing up off the couch. I wince at his vulgar language, the picture it paints in my mind of what life might have been like if Joel hadnât happened to be in the right place at the right time.
âI - I know - Iâm sorry,â I blurt out, feeling my hands start to go shaky. âThank you, Joel, I really - I really do owe you. Everything.â
âLike I said, donât thank me yet.â He steps over so that heâs in front of me, using his boot to part my legs, scooting them apart and standing between them. âThink I did all this out of the kindness of my heart, did you? Didnât think that maybe I was after the same damn thing as buddy boy earlier?â
Iâm like a fish out of water, the way my lips move with no sound coming out. âJoelâŠâ I breathe out in warning, in questioning. I see his arms strain in his t-shirt, hands flexing open and closed.
âI canât say the thought ainât crossinâ my mind now. You are mighty pretty. And you do owe me a favor. One big olâ gigantic favor, for savinâ your backside.â He brushes his fingers along his jeans, palming his crotch for a brief second before leaning forward, caging me in on the couch with hands on either side of me, pressing into the cushions. My heart hammers in my chest so loud I expect Joel can hear it, can feel the fear taking hold of me. He bares his teeth above me like a wild animal, and now Iâm certain he can smell my fear too, that he thrives on it.Â
âYou know what? Maybe you were bound to find what you were lookinâ for outside those walls. Maybe thatâs what you needed, is it? Couldnât find any love from daddy back home, so you wanted to find someone to turn you into their own personal little play thing. Poor baby just needed some attention, did she? Sad, really.â
My hands tremble, my words lost as I can only breathe in shaky little breaths, shaking my head violently. How can this god forsaken day keep getting worse?Â
âPlease -â I mumble out, bringing a jittery hand up to my mouth. Joel slaps it away, gripping my chin harshly at first, inspecting me before his thumb brushes over my bottom lip. Iâd think it was gentle, caring, even, if not for the nasty look spreading across his face, the grin that darkens it along with his eyes.
âTime to put this pretty thing to better use and show how grateful you are to olâ daddy Joel,â he says, using his free hand to deftly unbuckle his belt, the jangling sound like a death knell, making my throat go dry. âPromise Iâll be much better than he wouldâve been earlier. People say Iâm⊠a generous lover.â His drawl is slow and calculated, voice deep with lust, the sly smirk turning to a triumphant grin as he chuckles, amusing himself.
He grips the top of my head, pushing me to slide down the couch cushions into a slump as I struggle, powerless against a man of his strength. He positions himself higher up to bring the giant denim bulge right in my view. I wince, trying to turn my head away as his zipper comes undone, his hand grasping deep into the fly of his jeans, yanking his cock out. When it springs free, I gasp as he lets it slap me in the face. Hot, throbbing, and massive, leaking a shiny bead of precum that had ended up somewhere on my cheek. I sit stunned and held in place by his rough hand.Â
The cold hard fact hits me that this is the first time Iâm ever going to experience intimacy of any kind. Hell, Iâve only had one kiss before, and it was when I was ten years old, with a boy belonging to one of my fatherâs friends, a name I canât even remember now. The first penis Iâm ever seeing is right here, right now, in a context I have had zero control over. Itâs thicker than Iâd imagined one could be, softer too as I look at the skin of it. Veins run along the sides and bottom, all leading up to an imposing, angry pink head at the tip, practically bursting as it awaits me. Itâs magnificent and terrifying at the same time, nothing like what Iâd expected based on the half-assed health classes provided by schooling in the QZ. Sex has always had a shroud of mystery for me, and I never imagined that all those secrets, long awaited, would be uncovered like this. A dingy bedroom, a man likely almost three times my age, and me as an unwilling participant. Desperation swiftly grips my chest as I realize I actually have no clue what goes on behind closed doors between two people, and I have a feeling Iâm about to find out in the crudest of ways.
The fearful innocence I know is about to be stolen from me causes tears to sting at my eyes, fat little droplets that instantly start to roll down my cheeks, leaking onto Joelâs large fingers still gripped around my chin. I start to struggle, my body seeming to catch up with my mind, loud warning sirens of DANGER! DANGER! finally blaring out in a panic. When I squirm, Joel plants one of his knees into my body, keeping himself balanced while still being able to hold me down.Â
âDonât cry now, honey, itâll only make him harder.â He sneers as he strokes his cock, slapping the head against my closed lips a few times. He wrenches my jaw down, forcing it open. âNice ân wide for this big boy, there we go,â he says, not waiting a moment longer to barge his cock past the opening while he has it.Â
He groans loudly as he shoves several inches in right from the get go, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head. The hand that had been holding my jaw presses in on my shoulder, holding me in place. Iâd have nowhere to go, anyways, with his knee on my thighs, his entire body caging me in, the cushions giving me no leeway to the way his cock is forcefully intruding, inch by inch down my throat. The taste is all consuming - a little salty, a little ripe, tasting like days of Joelâs old sweat, but itâs not completely bad, not what Iâd have expected. Itâs heady in a strange way, clouding my mind as I try to cope with the fullness in my mouth.Â
The next moment I sputter, my eyes popping open wide, flooded with tears as he hits the back of my throat. I try to gasp for air and I find that I canât. This is torture of some form, it must be. Full panic follows, where I try to move, but every avenue is pinned down in some way by Joelâs massive body. I weakly flap at him with my hands but it barely even deters him from rocking his hips in and out, choking me again on the thrust inwards as the back of my throat tightens, gagging around his thick girth.Â
âOpen up, relax your goddamn throat,â Joel hisses at me, keeping his cock pressed fully to the back of my throat, constricting any airflow I was hoping to have. I finally breathe shakily out of my nose when he pulls back just enough, only to slide it in slowly, his eyes carefully watching me. I glance up for the first time at him from below, hoping to find any shred of humanity he might have for me, but Iâm met with an icy, dark gaze clouded with lust, power.Â
âGonna fuck your face now, like the dumb little slut you are. This is what stupid girls get for wanderinâ around by themselves. This is what they ask for.â He punctuates the last words with a sharp thrust inwards, my entire body convulsing with the gag I sputter out around him, drool pooling around my stretched lips. I would whimper if I could, if I even had the air to do so.Â
Joel is relentless for the next few moments, rapid thrusts in and out of my mouth, my head held conveniently in place against the couch cushions for him. He groans deeply, his pleasure evident while Iâm just trying to get my next breath in. I time them expertly, learning as I go, letting him continue to take from me to gain his own pleasure.Â
âThatâs it, thatâs right, youâre turninâ into quite the good girl,â Joel mutters above me, rolling his hips with vigor and making me gag again. I can feel drool dribbling down my chin, my neck, landing on my chest, and it makes me feel ashamed, embarrassed, and a twinge of something else. I canât tell as Joel grunts, pumping himself in and out of my gruesomely contorted jaw, if the fact that itâs something even remotely sexual has me feeling things I shouldnât. My cheeks burn hot as my eyes continue to water - how much of it is crying and how much of it is just my bodyâs response to him hitting the back of my throat, I donât know.
Then he surprises me by slowing down, languid strokes of his cock in and out with sloppy sounds, a soft hand landing on my head, stroking before bundling my hair in his fist tightly. âKnew youâd have such a filthy little mouth for daddy,â he coos, rolling his hips forward a little further, touching the back of my throat with his cock.Â
My body spasms a little when he keeps pushing, grumbling quiet groans of approval. My eyes squeeze shut, leaking out an onslaught of tears. I donât want to see the aftermath if it ends up that itâs one gag too many and the inevitable happens. But to my surprise, he keeps slipping down, intruding on my throat. I try to keep my trembling body still, wanting to keep my throat relaxed, terrified of what might happen if I fight this. Can a person die this way? Could I really choke to death on this manâs dick?Â
âJesus fuck. Lord have fuckinâ mercyâŠâ Joel breathes out as he pushes even further. âSwallowinâ him down, arenât ya? Feel me right in here, I bet.â I flinch when he touches his hand to the column of my throat, wrapping his fingers softly around the flesh. When he starts to retreat, the choking is back in a second, but Joel holds me by the throat, keeping my neck craned back, returning to the brutal way heâd been abusing my mouth. I groan and sputter and try to cough through all of it, my mouth stuffed full over and over again before I can get a breath in.Â
Heâs relentless, and then it stops all at once, his cock popping out from between my lips with a wet, lewd sound. A stream of drool follows, a gush that dribbles down onto my already soaked shirt, and I cough violently, my hands flailing to clutch at my chest.Â
As soon as the pressure of Joelâs body lifts off of me, Iâm scrambling to somewhere, anywhere else, my limbs stiff and achy, my jaw panging with a soreness Iâve never felt before. He stands in front of me, one hand shooting out to grab the collar of my shirt before I can even get fully off the couch, pulling me close.
âDoes it look like youâre done showinâ your gratitude yet?â he growls out, gripping the back of my head and forcing me to look down at his cock, still standing at full attention, shiny and dripping with saliva. I swallow hard, the lump painful on the way down. Joel shakes my head for me, the burn at my scalp making me wince. He presses his hips flush with mine, forcing his erection against my thigh before slipping it between them. He leans in close, hot breath ghosting over my face before his lips brush mine.
âYou do make a pretty cocksleeve, yâknow. Suckinâ cock like a cheap whore, wonder if you take it the same way in your cunt.â
I whimper, shaking my head, the tears non-stop as they roll down my cheeks. âPlease⊠donât. You donât have to do thisâŠâ
Joel scoffs. âIf I put my hand down your pants to that pretty little snatch, tell me I wouldnât find you wet right now.â He punctuates the words with a sharp pull on my scalp. I cry out, lip quivering, trying to shake my head. âDonât lie tâme after Iâve been so, so generous tâyou today.â
Iâm spinning around, a dizzying sensation, Joelâs strong bicep brought across my chest as his other hand delves below my waistline, plunging deep, right to my cotton panties, bypassing the waistband of those, too. Without care, without any sense of boundaries, his fingers explore, slipping through my sensitive slit with ease. I yelp, squirming at the intrusion, and Joelâs deep chuckle behind me confirms what I already knew, what I was beyond confused by.
âThought so,â he says gruffly, then he cups my entire mound, giving an almost comforting sensation, holding his hand tightly pressed to it. âNothinâ to be upset about, weâre just havinâ a little fun, payinâ off your debt to dear olâ Joel, okay?â
I shake my head. âI - I shouldn't be here⊠it shouldnât be like this,â I whisper in a cracking voice, hanging my head low as the tears just keep coming, damn them.Â
Joelâs fingers start to move slowly, just starting with one, stroking gently up my lips, spreading my slickness around. Iâm surprised that it feels good, a pleasant little tingle zipping right to my core that I quickly lament, hating myself for it. âWhat shouldnât be like this, hm? That you shouldnât like my cock down your throat? Itâs perfectly natural, doll,â he says, somehow soft and condescending in the same breath.
âA-all of this,â I whimper, âPlease, j-just let me go. I w-wonât say anything, I wonât do anything. I justâŠâ
Joel quietly shushes me, letting his finger do the talking for a moment. It drags up to my clit, rubbing tiny, enticing little circles. I bite my lip hard, enough to taste copper, trying to suppress the moan climbing its way up from my chest.Â
âItâs okay, itâs okay that it feels good. Itâs âsposed to. Good little sluts like you donât know any better, donât care what it is thatâs gettinâ their panties wet. Desperate,â he growls, fingers sliding through the slick mess thatâs now drooling onto the cotton. âJust relax, let it happenâŠâ I feel his breath, hot on my ear, before he nibbles, biting down hard on the earlobe, tugging it with his teeth. It bursts out, the whimpering moan Iâd been holding back, just as he pinches my clit at the same time as the bite.
He laughs. He has the nerve to laugh and it sends a shiver down my spine, my brain muddled and confused and turned on by the eroticism at play here. He soothes me by nuzzling my neck, taking a long, deep breath in. I squirm as Joelâs hand retreats, and I wonder for just a moment, a brief, all consuming moment, if maybe heâs seen reason. When his fingers find the buttons of my jeans, my heart plummets to depths previously unknown as he unbuttons them, pulling the zipper down slowly, the only sound in the room his harsh breathing right on my neck.
âPlease, I gave you what you want already,â I beg once more, feeling it fall on deaf ears as Joel tugs my jeans down, revealing my pink cotton panties. Theyâre my favorite pair - were my favorite pair - a rare find in a world like this. Pretty pale pink with a nice lacy trim and a little bow at the front. Only now, theyâd belong to Joel.
Joel clicks his tongue in approval of the sight, pulling his head back to peer at my underwear from the back before his hand grips my ass, jiggling it roughly. âOh, youâre jusânot getting it, are you? You feel this?â he asks angrily, letting me feel the hard length of his cock pressed to my ass cheeks, threatening to slip between my thighs. âThis means you didnât give me nearly half of what I want yet. Heâs still achinâ for ya, princess.âÂ
I grit my teeth, hating the pet name, the way heâs using who I am to mock me. Itâs a low blow. I hated everything to do with being associated with my father - I knew he wasnât a good man - and I hated most that it was so obvious to a stranger which echelon of society I belonged to. If I was so important, where were they now, huh? I want to scream those words at him, but instead I just feel my legs tremble underneath me, my knees feeling like jelly as they almost give out on me.
âPlease!â I struggle against his hold, but it only makes him grip my ass tighter, hard enough to bruise. âI-Iâm a virgin,â I suddenly squeak out, unsure of why I say it other than some last ditch effort to deter him. My heart pounds as he stills, dead silent with his hand grasping my ass like itâs his next meal, like he owns it.Â
âWell ainât it my lucky day. Shit, thatâs why you were sputterinâ all over my damn cock, ainât it?â he says as the epiphany dawns on him, laughing. My cheeks blaze hotter and hotter, hating that Iâm even embarrassed at my lack of experience and skills, like I have some sick need to impress him. He notices my tension, my head hanging low as I cry new tears, and says, âHey, hey, nothinâ to be ashamed for. In factâŠâ His hand fists in my underwear, tight and unrelenting. I feel his cock press against my ass again, harder than ever before it slips between my thighs. âMakes me awful excited,â he purrs, bringing his mouth to my ear again.
I only give him a timid whimper in reply, squeezing my eyes shut as I realize there is nothing I can do to stop this man. He thinks Iâm a cheap whore, and he loves it. Iâm a pure virgin, and he loves it even more.
He squeezes me tighter to his chest, my back starting to sweat through my thin tee shirt. âThe hell were you savinâ yourself for anyways? Marriage? A sweet pussy like this?â At my silence, he cups my pussy hard, letting the dampness of my underwear soak into his palm. âAnswer me!â he barks out.
âI - I wasnât! I donât know!â I cry out, trembling.
âWell,â he says, fisting my panties again, starting to pull them down. âMâhonored youâd let me be your first, sweetheart,â he drawls, and I nearly scream at the insinuation. Iâm not letting him do anything.Â
I start to put up more of a fight, useless against his thick arms holding me so tightly. Cool air touches my ass and the space between my thighs as he manages to shimmy my panties further down even in my struggle. I clamp my legs shut in defiance, roaring out a strained grunt as I keep trying to squirm out of his grasp. He huffs in anger, trying to subdue my writhing body before he pushes it towards the couch. I land hard, banging my knee on the hard edge that supports the cushion, wincing and trying to catch my breath. Iâm practically in position for him already, ass pressed out towards him, on my hands and knees.
âGonna make me do things the hard way, are you?â He scowls, his free hand fisting in my hair again, pulling me close. His breath is hot over my shoulder, the sensation vile against the skin of my cheek, stained with tears. âBeen too long since I found a pretty virgin like you. Anâ ruininâ this perfect, pure little cunt is jusâ the cherry on top of a perfect day fâme.âÂ
I feel his hard cock twitch against me, a reminder of whatâs to come. The movements are quick for how bulky Joelâs body is, let alone his age, as he exchanges the hold across my chest for my wrists, bundling them behind my back. I cry out at the strain, the awkward angle heâd twisted them to, fighting him again until a hard smack lands on my ass. I scream through gritted teeth, not giving up the fight, but another thwap! rings out through the apartment, making me falter. My tender flesh screams at me in agony when he lands another spank, even harder this time, then another, until Iâm crying unrelenting, fat tears.
With me rendered motionless, Joel presses down, bending me over, my balance tricky with my hands behind my back. My face nearly touches the couch, but Iâm precariously held up by the wrists, the strain already making them ache. The warmth dripping between my thighs betrays me as my ass stings in residual little pulses, so raw and sore but spreading a pleasure through me that Iâve never known before.Â
I donât have time to dwell on it before Joel is grasping one hand on my hip, notching himself at my entrance. âPromise youâre gonna like this, that youâll never be able to think of anyone elseâs cock but daddy Joelâs,â he spews gruffly in my ear before he thrusts hard, one swift motion to bury himself inside of me. I scream out, the searing pain between my thighs making me wonder if Iâm being split open for good, if itâs possible that some things are just too big to fit in certain places of the body.Â
âFuuuuuuck,â Joel hisses through his teeth, making the tiniest thrusting motions to ensure heâs buried deep. Every movement pierces me with a new sting as my body desperately tries to adjust, to accommodate the horrible, overwhelming intrusion. âYou were not kiddinâ, sweetheart. Tightest fuckinâ pussy Iâve ever been in.â
I sob, unable to speak, unable to move as Joel thrusts brutally from the get go, his hips snapping with force, crashing into mine hard enough to bruise. The lewd sounds we make disgust me, because I know Iâm part of those sounds, my body enjoying the filthy things heâs saying, the way heâs taking me without remorse. He pulls himself out, clicking his tongue as he peers down between our bodies. âChrist, you are one sexy little bird. Poor little virgin bleedinâ on daddyâs cock.â
The thought horrifies me, making my stomach turn. âPlease,â I cry out, my body rocking with the motions as he starts to fuck me again, the strain on my wrists as Joel uses them to help thrust himself inside of me starting to gnaw deeper into them. Iâm like a ragdoll with the way heâs jerking me by my wrists, my body having no choice but to flail in time with the movements so that he can press himself deep on each cruel thrust inwards.
âYou want more? You begginâ already?â Joel grunts between his heavy breaths, sounding so cocky it makes me want to spin around and punch him. I settle for gritting my teeth instead, feeling my body slowly but surely melding into his. When Joel presses me down further, forcing an arch in my back, I whimper when his cock hits something sensitive, deep, primal. Fuck, is it something.Â
âOh, thatâs it. We got her now, donât we?â he says from above, continuing to stroke his cock along that spot repeatedly. I feel myself losing my will to fight, hating the pleasure but feeling myself lean into it slightly, my hips pressing back to meet his nearly against my will. âYou ever come before, sweetheart?â He leans in a little closer to ask the question, the pistoning of his hips slowing the slightest bit.
I refuse to answer, tears pooling in my eyes. I donât want him to take this from me, I donât want him to know anything about me. He jerks my wrists at the same time he slams his hips into me, and I whimper loudly, feeling the way heâs surely bruising my insides.Â
âIf you ainât figured it out yet, the rules are that you answer me when Iâm askinâ you a question if you know whatâs good for ya,â he spits out, and I shake my head, letting it hang limply.
âUse your words. Say âno, daddyâ,â he says with sinister condescension, stroking his own ego.
âN-no⊠daddyâŠâ I say, my tongue revolting against the words, bile climbing up my throat.
He moves his hand to my head, stroking carefully and softly. âOh, thatâs a shame. Thatâs a daaaamn shame. All pent up, yâare. But daddy will make it all better.â He sounds deranged, sick, like he truly believes that Iâm thankful to him for what heâs doing to me. I canât answer, my mouth gaping open just as he releases my wrists, letting me fall to the couch with a thud. My open mouth gets a mouthful of the cushions, making me sick over the fact that itâs probably full of god knows what due to its age and whatever things Joel seems to get up to in this apartment of his.
I blink as Joel grips tightly at my hips, wondering why he suddenly trusts my hands to be free, when it happens. He thrusts into that spot again, harsh and unforgiving, and I nearly see stars behind my eyes as the head of his cock punches against things I didnât even know were there. Thatâs why. Iâm incapacitated at this angle, brutally forced to enjoy the pleasure washing over my body as Joel takes from me, actually giving in return this time.
I bite my tongue hard, not wanting to give him any satisfaction for the tiny moans that are growing louder in my throat, desperate to be let out.
âLet me hear you, princess. Daddy doesnât do with quiet girls. I can feel you clampinâ down on my cock, know youâre lovinâ how I use you up like you were meant for it.â
I shake my head in protest, but a strangled sound escapes past my tight lips when Joel slams into me harder than he has yet, puffing hard as he fucks me like a greedy animal. He chuckles through heavy breaths, little whispers of thatâs it, come on, take it, flow freely from his nasty mouth.Â
I feel myself slip away, further gone from reality as the warmth spreads from my pelvis into my belly, coiling tight. Everything tingles, set on fire, the spot where Joel handles my hips with his fat fingers practically burning with a constant mix of pleasure and pain. I cry out when Joelâs cock pulls that feeling out from deep inside of me again, half a sob and half a moan as it crescendos, waves of pleasure crashing over me.
Joelâs grunts of approval, so brutish and debauched, sends a new wave of arousal through me. I tremble, eyes squeezed shut with my body completely out of my control, taken over by this boundless bliss. Itâs unlike anything Iâve ever felt before: heavenly warmth worlds above any of the pleasures Iâve known. This had to be what Joel was referring to, urging me towards, telling me he wanted to make me come. This had to be what I was missing out on all these years, hiding myself away. Was this the reason sex was so coveted, so sought after? Was this feeling⊠the reason heâs doing what he is to me right now? Â
It feels like itâs never ending, my body so rigid as it spasms yet pliant as he fucks into me harder and harder. I loathe the noises Iâm making that intermingle with his as I squeeze my eyes shut, enjoying it.
âFuck, fuck - thatâs it - f-fuck knew youâd love it. Come on my cock, baby, thatâs right.â Joelâs string of praises reach my ears as I come down from my high, limp and yielding to whatever it is he wants to do to me now. I have no fight - my bones turned to jelly, my body sore all over, my throat scratchy from the way heâd assaulted it earlier. I only have it in me to give the rest of myself over, whether I like it or not.Â
âS-so fuckinâ tight, lettinâ me take your virginity like a good little whore,â he punches out, pounding into my sensitive cunt like itâs saving his soul, like itâs the only thing he could ever care about. Iâm on the precipice of coming again, my nerves still frayed and on edge from the last one. A smaller but still powerful climax takes over, my body shuddering and tight, milking every last second of the pleasure.Â
âGonna blow my load into this pure little pussy, make it mine - fuck - gonna fill you up like the cocksleeve you are. P-probably never want to be without my fuckinâ load drippinâ out of you again. I-Iâm close, fuck -â Joel rambles as he ruts his hips deep, one final thrust and a grunt, and I feel him stall, pulsing into me.Â
Itâs all suddenly very still, an eerie quiet settling over the room. My entire body burns hot, the only thing keeping me from collapsing is Joelâs hands still anchored on my hips as he leaves his cock inside of me, plugging me up. I want to cry again at the sudden, overwhelming shame I feel, but I canât give him the satisfaction. I canât.
Joel pats my ass a few times, pulling out. I tremble hard, falling forward onto the couch without his hold, instantly curling in on myself. I resent the way Iâd noticed how empty I felt the second he was gone, how cold my body was without his warmth pressed into it. I dare to peer up at the sick man who stands above me, catching his breath, watching just as the last bit of his softening cock gets tucked back into his jeans. He swipes a hand across his forehead, gathering sweat, staring down at me with a darkened expression, grinning cockily.
When he plops down on the couch next to me, picking up the can of beans heâd been eating before, my mouth hangs open in surprise at how casual heâs acting. I watch his face shine with sweat, his breathing still labored, but everything else about his attitude would indicate he didnât just force himself on me.Â
I try to keep my expression neutral for my own safety as I feel something leak out of me, not even wanting to give him the smug satisfaction of having to confirm my suspicions about what it is. I do my best to position my body so he canât see between my legs as I try to pull my underwear up from where they sit near my knees, my jeans following. Joel only gives me a knowing glance as he takes a bite, conscious of the fact that a part of him sits inside my now soiled underwear, and a part of me now sits inside of his soul.Â
He shoves the can my way and I shrink back at his sudden motion, not taking it from him. âEat. I ainât havinâ you all weak and despondent for the next time.â
I feel my heart sink down past my ass, my stomach plummeting along with it as nausea overtakes me, a dizzying sensation clouding my vision. He couldnât have said what I think he did. I - Iâd paid my debt, whatever it was he thought I owed him for saving me when I didnât even ask him to. For saving me and then doing exactly what that man had planned to do anyways under the guise of a caring, noble rescuer.
âN-next timeâŠ?â I manage to make my mouth move, my throat to produce a sound, pushing the question out in a voice that doesnât sound like my own.
âKnow you said not to call you stupid but my house, my rules, anâ sweetheartâŠâ He looks at me under his raised, expectant brows. âMy stupid, stupid girl. Did you really think that would be enough? That Iâd get an opportunity every man dreams of - an untouched, perfect pussy like yours, to keep all for mâself, and throw it all away?â Heâs creeping closer as he speaks, shrouding me on the couch with his huge frame, caging in where I lay, my body wound as tightly as it can to itself to block whatever heâs thinking of doing next. âNow you donât think daddy is that dumb to let you go knowinâ all that, do you?â
I sit stunned silent underneath him, wide eyes fixed in a tortured gaze on his rugged face, but his hand squeezing my thigh is warning enough for me to shake my head, stuttering out an answer. âN-no. NoâŠâ I whisper.Â
Two approving pats on my cheek send Joel slinking back slightly, his dark, unhinged eyes staring holes into me as they roam over my body. Despite nothing even visible - my chest hidden underneath my arms and legs clamped tightly - I feel violated, objectified.Â
Terror rips through my chest as reality settles in slowly but surely. I look at the man Iâd trusted once, whoâd shown himself to be a friend, or at the least an ally, currently feasting his eyes on me like Iâm a product. Which now, I suppose I am. A whore. His whore.
âNow,â he says, licking his lips, that hungry gaze already returning, a bulge appearing in his jeans and stretching the fabric. âAll Iâve got to do is decide just how long Iâll keep ya for.â
dividers by @/saradika-graphics!
#fic: indebted#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#dark!joel miller fanfiction#dark!joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller x f!reader#x reader#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#dddne joel miller#dead dove joel miller
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spoiled
â± boyfriend!bc x gn!reader
â it really is in the little things he does.
w.count â 0.5k genre â slice of life, fluff notes â chan referred to as chris, reader referred to as babe, teeny weenie kith a.n â been feeling sappy whenever i see chan, and whatâs the best cure if not to write about it⥠â see masterlist
growing up, you never really thought much about relationships.
well, it's not like you had the breathing room to do so anywayâwith your parents' strained relationship and the way education had taken over the role as your safe space, the thought about crushes, falling in love, and jumping from one relationship to another like people around your age had resembled more like some faint, annoying whispers from the nether world rather than something you needed to experience as a young adult. instead, your goal revolves simply around graduating, getting a good job, and sticking with thatânothing more, nothing less.
well, that's exactly what you've managed to do so farâŠ
with some minor adjustments.
"babe, do you wantâoh, you're about to shower?"
you stopped a few steps from the door of the bathroom, eyes finding your boyfriend's curious pair just beyond the bedroom door while your arms hugged the fresh pair of pyjamas and a fluffy towel chris had bought for you a few months prior, right before your first sleepover at his place.
it still feels wild to you, the way chris just popped into your life one day and somehow managed to stay. the fact that you let him? even wilder. never in a million years would you ever thought you'd walk into your first and somewhat of a serious relationship not long after landing your first actual job, fresh out of university.
"yeah," you nodded, repeatedly blinking your eyes out of habit, "do you need to go? i might take a while since i'm gonna wash my hair."
"no no, i'm good," he replied, no longer looking at you when he turned busy, fumbling away at the cabinet under his kitchen sink, "but wait, there's something i wantâfound it!"
the curiosity in your eyes turned into sparkles of surprise when you noticed the rather familiar bottle in chris' hand as he heads over in your direction, sweet pair of dimples decorating his proud, cheeky smile.
"i got that body wash you said you wanted to try," handing the green colored bottle, chris lightly scrunched his nose alongside the click of his tongue, "kinda unfortunateâi was going to surprise you with it, but you beat me to the shower."
it's at times like this when you feel like your life in the past year has merely been a series of lucid dreamsâwhen he looked at you with so much tenderness in his eyes, when he treats you like you're his entire world and more, when chris went out of his way just to prove that he meant everything he whispered in your ears between the ungodly hours of the night as he held you close when nightmares crept its long and sharp nails around your neck.
chris' affection still feels like a fever dream, and you don't know if you deserve to be at the receiving end of it at all.
"you're seriously spoiling me way too much, christopher," you finally chirped a response, mirroring your boyfriend's nose scrunch whilst keeping your unspoken worries locked away, "but thank you. i promise i'll use it well."
"i know you will," the dimpled smile made its way back to your boyfriend's features, igniting the familiar fuzzy feeling in the depths of your chest, and its rumble only grew louder when chris leaned in, faint scent of vanilla greeted you as he stole a peck from your lips,
"you know that's why i love spoiling you, right?"
Â©ïž astralisortus, 2024. | likes and reblogs are highly appreciatedâĄ
#stray kids fluff#skz fluff#bang chan fluff#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#bang chan imagines#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#bang chan scenarios#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#bang chan fanfic#stray kids au#skz au#bang chan au#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#bang chan x reader#stray kids x you#skz x you#bang chan x you#stray kids#skz#bang chan#isa's fics
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massage | l.m. - s.c. - h.h. - y.j.
summary: you're sore and stressed but luckily your boy is there to help. collab w/ @giddyfatherchris <3
wc | ss: 5.4k | 5
warnings: fem! reader, use of noona (jeongin), nudity (not sexual), descriptions of pain, definitely typos bc i wrote most of these a long time ago, probably more but you get the generally consensus.
a/n: i would like to give ilya a formal apology for how long it took me to write these, truly an egregious amount of time LMAO. but she never rushed me once and i love n appreciate that more than she knows. also made these way longer than they needed to be but, anyway! i hope you all enjoy, remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3. (also sorry if the writing style feels different for some, i wrote these months apart so it might get weird lol)
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part 1 | my library
banners by cafekitsune
(photos are not mine! credit to owners!)
minho
wc: 1.5k | ss: 1
you didnât argue it further knowing it was futile.
he wraps an arm around your waist as you both say your goodbyes, helping you walk back to the car. you were both spending the day with his members, chan had found a new trail he wanted to explore, inviting all the members and you to tag along.
about half way into the trail your ankle started to flare up, causing you to start limping. it was an old injury that just didnât heal correctly so being on it for long periods of time causes pain as well as swelling. you tried to hide it because you were having a good time but minho clocked it almost immediately.
once you were sat in the car, minho rounded the car, popping the trunk of the car to grab something. he opens the door, sitting while placing a bag in your lap before starting the car. âwhatâs this?â you asked softly, opening the bag.
âi figured your feet would hurt after walking for so long so i brought comfier shoes for you.â he explains as you pull out your crocs and a pair of soft socks. you stick out your bottom lip, heart warming from the kind gesture. you kick your old shoes off, replacing them with the softer pair, placing the old ones back in the bag.
âthank you ìêž°ìŒ.â leaning over, giving him a kiss on his slightly pink cheek, settling back in your chair. he smiles, putting the car in gear before grabbing your hand, looking into your eyes as he places a kiss to the back of it. âanything for you.â he whispers against your skin, dropping your joined hands in his lap before taking his foot off the brake.
the ride home was silent beside the music softly playing in the background as minho drove. you leaned towards him, hissing as your ankle and foot began to feel tender. he squeezes your hand, placing a kiss to it, rubbing soothing circles to the back of it.
âweâll be home soon ìŒêž°.â you nod, trying not to think about the throbbing pain, focusing more on the passing landscape.Â
soon the car pulls up to your shared apartment, luckily there was an open spot in front of your building. you unbuckle your seatbelt, reaching for the door handle, letting go of his hand before he grabs it again. you pause, looking at him confused, âwhatâs wrong?â you ask softly.
âjust wait a second, let me help you.â he waits for a response, big eyes staring into yours. you nod, allowing him to help. he smiles, placing one last kiss to the back of your hand before unbuckling, making his way to your side.
he opens the door, pointing to the bag by your feet, âlet me take that first.â you hand it over before carefully scooting to the edge of the seat. he puts the bag on his back before reaching down for you.
you take his hands, planting your feet on the ground, hissing at the slight pressure you put on the sore appendage. âtake your time, okay? donât push it.â he says, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand once more. you nod, taking a deep breath before carefully standing up.
he helps pull up the extra weight, helping you lean against him a bit once at your full height. once you move out of the way, you push the door closed as minho adjusted his grip on your waist.
âready?â you nod, smiling as you slowly limp your way to your door, suddenly thankful you lived on the first floor. he quickly unlocks the door, placing the bag to the side before slipping off his shoes.
âdo you need help?â he asks, pointing to your feet still in your crocs. you shake your head before holding onto his arm, slipping your feet out of the shoes cautiously. he helps you to your room where he sits you down on the bed before opening the closet.
âdo you wanna take a shower now or later?â he asks, rummaging through clothes for something more comfortable for both of you to change into. you thought about it for a second, knowing you probably should, but just wanting to relax and stay off your foot.
âiâll shower a little later, once it starts feeling better.â you respond as he walks over with two sets of clothes in hand. he places yours down next to you, âdo you want help getting changed?â you nod your head before answering, âmaybe with the shorts, please.â you smiled up at him.
âof course ìŒêž°.â he says, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead while reaching for your shorts. he taps your thigh, then his shoulder, causing you to stand up, balancing on his shoulder.
âiâm gonna unbutton these now, okay?â he asks, his fingers brushing the metal of your pants. you nod before he undoes the button, pulling down the zipper, sliding his hands into the fabric, pulling it down your legs.
you lift each leg to let him take the fabric off them, wincing as you put pressure on the hurt one. he kisses the leg of your hurt ankle, rubbing it softly as he tosses your pants to the side. he grabs the shorts on the edge of your bed, getting them ready for you to step in safely.
â just one more time ìêž°ìŒ .â he says, waiting for you to step into them. you adjust your grip on his shoulders one last time before stepping into it. you bite your lip in pain, as you slip the second leg into the fabric, letting him pull them up your legs completely.Â
he places a kiss to each thigh before you sit back down. âthank you, min.â you smile before he gets up, leaving a kiss on your lips as he goes. âanything for you, ìŒêž°.â he smiles back before grabbing his stack of clothes on the bed.âiâll be right back okay?â you nod and watch as he walks into the bathroom not bothering to shut the door.Â
you slip off your shirt, replacing it with a softer, bigger one, throwing the old fabric in the same direction as your pants. you get up to walk (limp) your way to the kitchen to grab a cold compress before you relax.
you made it to the door before minho leaves the bathroom. âwhat do you think youâre doing?â he asks from the doorway, his hands full of medicine, lotions and wraps. âiâm going to get a cold compress from the freezer?â you ask in a small voice, feeling like a kid that got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
âsit back down before you make it worse please.â he scolds, pointing to the bed as best he could with full arms. âbut i-â you cut yourself dramatically points to the bed once more. you sigh, shuffling your way back to the bed, where you sit down once more.
he walks over, setting everything down on the foot of the bed before gently grabbing your leg, slotting himself between them, placing the hurt one on his lap. he grabs the medicated lotion, lightly massaging the swollen area.
âoh that feels nice.â you sigh, sinking into the pillows behind you as he continues his work. he does that for a good 15 minutes, pausing when he hits a particularly sore spot before continuing with a softer touch.
you didnât realize you had fallen asleep until he finishes wrapping up your foot and ankle, grabbing a pillow to place under it. âiâll be right back love.â he whispers, placing a kiss to your hair before leaving the room.
he comes in a few moments later, with more supplies in hand. he places a water bottle, snack and medicine bottle on your bedside table before, carefully placing the compress to your ankle. he gently presses down, pulling a sigh from you as you feel the cold seep through the wrap.
he grabs the snack bar, opening it before handing it to you, who happily takes a bite out of the sweet bar. he opens the bottle of water, trading with you once you finish your snack. he watches you take a couple sips before opening the medicine bottle, holding out 2 pills for you.
you take them from him, putting them in your mouth as he grabs the trash to throw out. he enters the room once again with another water bottle, placing it next to yours.
he grabs a blanket carefully laying it on top of you before making his way to the other side of the bed. he turns on the show youâre watching together before settling in next to you, wrapping his arms around you.
âthank you for taking care of me, my love.â you whispering, leaning into him, placing a kiss to the arm closest to you. he tightens his arms around you, placing a kiss to your hair, âanything for you, ìêž°ìŒ .â you smile, melting into him, where you both stay for the rest of the night.
changbin
wc: 1.1k | ss: 1
you werenât technically lying, you were tired. you didnât tell the whole truth either.
it was your fault, truly, you worked out yesterday, didnât properly stretch and you certainly didnât drink enough water after your workout. you were so worried about some work to finish up that you forgot about it.
so unfortunately this led to you getting a charley horse in not one, but both calves. you had woken up this morning, stretched and both of your calves immediately seized up. the pain was immediate and lasted for about a minute.
you probably shouldâve told bin but, you didnât feel like getting lectured on top of everything else you had going on. plus, he had enough going on, he didnât need to worry about your silly little muscle cramp.
you were moving around-semi fine. it did hurt to walk and your legs feel super tight but it was nothing to worry about- and certainly not for changbin to stress over. that was short-lived however, as soon as he arrived at your apartment, he clocked you immediately.
âwhat did you do?â he asked as soon as you opened the door.
âwhat? no hi baby! how are you? how was your day?â you pouted. âall i get is a what did you do?â you said in your best bini impression. âyeah it is because you hurt my baby and not even you can get away with that.â he shot back.
you roll your eyes at his comment. âwill you at least get inside before you chastise me.â you widen the door to allow him to pass. once inside, he sets his bag and keys down while kicking off his shoes.
âso?â he asks, looking at you. âi just got a charley horse bin, iâm fine.â you reassure him softly. you saw it in his face as soon as the words left your mouth.
you quickly raise your hand as he opens his mouth. âi know, i donât want to hear bin please, i just want to lay down.â you say, feeling defeated and tired. âokay bunny.â he sighed, grabbing your hand, placing it around his waist before wrapping his arms around you.
you both stay there for a minute before bini pulls away, places a kiss on your cheek. âcan i carry you to bed?â you nod before he picks you up bridal style, pulling a squeak from you in surprise. you quickly wrap your arms around his neck and he carries you to your room.
he carefully lays you down on your soft mattress before walking into your bathroom. he walks back out, massage oil and towel in his hand.
you move to sit up, giving him space, getting ready to give him a massage. but when you look up, heâs just staring at you, almost hurt.
âwhat are you doing?â
you tilt your head in confusion. âsitting up to give you a massage.â you say, eyes big as you look at him. he walks over to you shaking his head, âno bunny, lay back, iâm giving you one.â he sets the folded towel and oil at the edge of the bed before moving your leg to sit.
âbut i told you iâd give you one.â you mumbled, your eyes following his movements. âdid you really think iâd make you give me one when youâre clearly tired and hurting?â you look down as you realized how silly it sounded.
âbaby,â he places a gentle hand to your cheek, forcing you to look at you. âwhy donât you ever let me take care of you?â he asked, eyes filled with love and concern. you shrug, âiâm just not used to asking for or receiving it i guess.â
his thumb gently rubs the soft skin of your cheek, âwill you let me take care of you please?â he asks softly.his thumb gently rubs the soft skin of your cheek, âwill you let me take care of you please?â he asks softly.
you give him a small nod. âokay.â he smiles, leaning forward to cover your face in kisses, before you giggle, softly pushing him away. âbinnie!â you squeak. âokay okay.â he giggles, backing away.
he goes to help you lay back but not before stealing one last kiss. you try to act annoyed but your smile gives you away. âdo you want to watch frieren?â he asks as he helps you move your pillows and blanket to get comfy.
âyes please.â you reply, fixing the soft blanket he placed over you. he hands you the remote for the tv before sitting down, placing your legs atop his. he puts the towel under your legs before putting some of the oil in his hands, gently rubbing the tight muscle.
âlet me know if it hurts okay?â you give him a quick nod and smile before pressing play, snuggling under the soft fabric. he adds a little more pressure, you let out a small noise, the muscle feeling tender.
he immediately stops, âare you okay?â you nod, giving him a reassuring smile. âitâs just tender, it feels good though.â he guy, understanding, continue his massage, a tad bit lighter.
you both stay like that for at least 20 minutes, binnie switching legs half way through. it only took a few of those twenty to drift off, not fully sleeping but definitely not conscious.
until binnie stopped his movements, gently wiping away the excess oil. you open your eyes and look down, admiring the sweet boy in front of you.
once finished with the task at hand he meets your eyes and pauses. you give him a sleepy smile before making grabby hands to him. he giggles, moving your legs, throwing the towel to side, carefully laying on top of you.
you wrap your arms around him as he places kisses all of your face, pulling giggles from you in the process.
he stops for a moment and admires you, âwhat?â you ask softly. he shakes his head, âyou know i love you right? and iâll always be here to take care of you.â heâs looking at you with so much love. you nod your head, bring one hand to his soft cheek.
âi know, baby, and you know the same goes for your right?â your thumb gently rubbing the skin as he nods. he quickly leans down, placing a loving kiss to your plush lips before rolling over, pulling you into his chest.
he pulls a blanket over both of you, letting you get comfy, handing you your plushie before wrapping his arms around you. âlove you so much bunny, okay?â he reassures once more, placing a kiss to your temple.
you sink further into him, placing a kiss above his heart, âyou love you too, my binnie, so much.â
hyunjin
wc: 1.3k | ss: 2
to say you felt overwhelmed was an understatement.
you knew hyunjin would do anything for you, heâd drop everything if you asked him too. however, you never did, always worrying about burdening or annoying him no matter how much you preached the opposite.
you were stressed out, in pain and on top of that feeling so guilty. because not only did you cancel on your boyfriend and his friends but now, you made your boyfriend also cancel on his friends.
so now here you were, sitting on your couch, still in your work clothes, tears streaming down your face as the guilt, stress and pain overwhelmed your senses.Â
so much so that you were unaware of said boyfriend using his key to enter your apartment.
he was immediately alarmed by the uneven breathing coming from your couch. he made quick work of discarding his shoes and bags before finding the source of the noise.
âhey, hey, angel whatâs going on?â
he rounded the furniture as shot up, looking at him. âiâm sorry.â you sobbed, covering your face in the process. he quickly makes his way to you, kneeling in front of you, one hand on your head, thumb brushing your forehead.
second hand gently rubbing the arm closest to him. âhey, whatâs going on, hm? what are you apologizing for?â you feel him rest his chin on your shoulder.
you shake your head slightly, feeling suffocated under all the negative emotions. âbreathe baby, breathe.â he pulls your hands from your face in an attempt to help you breathe better.
âcan you sit up for me?â he whispers, thumb still rubbing soothing circles on your forehead. you shake your head, âit hurts.â you whimper, turning to face him.
âyour back?â you nod, unshed tears gather in your eyes. he leans forward, placing a kiss to your forehead. âokay, will you let me help you? i just wanna help you feel better but you gotta sit up okay?âÂ
he can see the stress in your face, âitâll be okay, okay? i promise. i just wanna get you to the bathroom so i can run you a bath okay?â youâd be lying if you said that didnât sound divine.
you nod your head slightly, prompting him to give you a kiss before readjusting. âokay my baby, iâm gonna help you sit up before you stand okay?âÂ
âokay.â you nod, already holding your breath in preparation. he gives you his arm to hold as you pull yourself up. he gives you a countdown before pulling you up, moving your legs to the side of the couch.
you hiss in pain as you finally sit up, âyou did so good for me baby.â he places a kiss to your temple. he stands, putting a hand out for you to grab.
you prepare yourself to follow him, as you grab his hand, taking a deep breath before pulling yourself up, âow.â you whimpered before stumbling into him.
he catches you before you can fall, bringing you into his arms. a few tears shed as the pain shoots through your lower back, gripping hyunjinâs hand, letting out a few labored breaths..
he rubs your back gently and your head. rests against him, trying to breathe through the pain. âyouâre doing so good baby, youâre halfway there. let me know when youâre ready.â you nod your head, taking one last deep breath.
âokay, iâm readyâ you mumble. he turns as you grab his arm to hold as you walk. you focus on your breathing the whole way to the bathroom before he helps you lean against the counter.
âdo you think you can stay like this while i get the bath ready?â he asks, eyes filled with concern and worry. you nod, giving him a small smile, âthank you hyune.â you say, bringing a hand up to rub his cheek.
âanything for you my love.â he says before grabbing your hand, placing a kiss to your palm.
you watch as he sets up the bath, starting the water, making it as hot as he can take it before adding the epsom salt and bubbles. once everything was added he made his way over to you.Â
âiâm gonna help you undress okay?â you nod your head before carefully lifting your arms. he grabs the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head, tossing it to the side.
he reaches behind you, undoing the clasp to your bra, kissing each shoulder and he pulls the straps down. âmy beautiful muse.â he hums, giving your bra the same fate as your shirt.
you shiver, feeling exposed but the movement once again made the pain shoot up your spine. âah.â you hiss, taking a deep breath once more. âi know baby, iâm sorry. just a little longer.âÂ
he makes quick work of unbuttoning your jeans, cautiously pulling them down each leg. once they were pulled down, he did the same with your underwear. âokay hold my shoulder while i take them off.â
once he feels your hands grip his shoulders, he taps one leg, prompting you to lift it. he does the same to the other leg before once again tossing the fabric aside.
âthere we go, iâm gonna help you get in then iâll join you okay?â you nod before grabbing his hands once more.
he helps you step in, holding you steady as you sit down. you let out a sigh of relief as the hot water soothed your spine. you lean back, hyune placing a kiss to your temple before leaving you.
he searches through your cabinet before grabbing the massage oil, placing it to the side of the tub. he quick undresses, as you slowly shift forward, giving him space behind you.
he shuts off the water before he steps in, carefully sitting behind you. you go to sit back before he stops you. âhold on baby, iâm gonna try and massage it a bit okay?â
you pout, âbut thatâs my job.â he shaked his head, dark hair swishing back and forth with it. ânot today, today iâm here to make you feel better.â he says before putting some oil hands, warming it up a bit.
âcan you lean forward a bit or does it hurt?â you slowly cross you legs before carefully leaning forward. you felt a slight stretch in your lower back, letting out a sigh. hyunjinâs hands lay against your back, thumbs rubbing soft circles.
âyou okay baby?â you nod a bit. âiâm good.â you mumble, trying to relax a bit more. hyunjinâs hands glide across your back with ease, stopping at each knot, giving it extra attention.
you were basically falling asleep when he came across a particularly sore spot, a gasp from you. he immediately stops his hands, resting them on your back.
âiâm sorry, baby.â you shake your head. âitâs okay, just a little tender now.â he places his hands on your sides, pulling you back slightly, carefully bringing you to him.
you gently lay against his back, sighing as you feel the hot water surround you from the shift. he wraps his arms around you, pulling you impossibly closer, placing a kiss to the side of you head.
âi wish you wouldâve told me it was this bad.â he mumbles into your ear, playing with the bubbles around you.
you lean your head against his, âiâm sorry.â you play with his fingers, stopping his movements in the bubbles. âyou have so much going on and i didnât wanna add to that.â
you felt his head shift next to you. âhey,â you turn your head to him, âno matter what i have going on, i wanna be there for you when youâre hurting okay?â
you swallow the lump in your throat, nodding your head. âpromise?â he asks, taking his hand to grab yours, lacing your fingers together. âi promise.â you lean fully into him, basking in the moment.
once the water ran cold, hyunjin helped you out of the tub, and into some comfy clothes. once he got you settled in your bed with your heating pad, he ordered dinner before joining you in bed.Â
and that is how you stayed for the rest of the night (apart from hyunjin grabbing your food) wrapped in the arms of your favorite boy, feeling much better than before.
jeongin
wc: 1.3k | ss: 1
you were were getting ahead on some prep for your bakery when jeongin texted you. you started wrapping up the strawberries you prepped for the cheesecakes the next day, dating them before going to put them in the cooler.
but as you turned around, container of red fruit in hand, you felt a jolt of pain in your knee before it gave out. luckily you were close enough to the countertop you were able to set the fruits down safely before finding your footing.
you look down and find your knee to find it swollen, fighting against the fabric of your pants. you sigh gently massaging it, hissing slightly as a shock of pain spreads through your knee. you place weight on your knee, finding it stronger than before but still weak.
you carefully making way your way to the cooler placing them gently inside. you turn around, placing your hands on your hips, looking at the kitchen around you, feeling proud of what you accomplished.
you were also thanking your past self for asking ryujin to clean the floors before she left because thereâs no way you wouldâve been able to. you made your way over to your work station, wiping down the table and discarding your trash.Â
you turn off all the lights, and headed out the door just in time to see jeonginâs car pull around the corner. you waved and gave him a smile, locking the door behind you. you walked to the car trying (and failing) to hide your limp.
seeing this jeongin immediately parked the car, getting out to meet you halfway. âhi bubba.â you smiled as he approached you. âhi noona,â he gives you a quick hug and peck on the side of your head before pulling away.
âwhatâs going on with your knee?â he asks, voice laced with concern. ânothing, itâs just a little sore-â he cuts you off. ânoona, i love you but if you say it's nothing to worry about iâm gonna lose it.â you giggle and shake your head.
âthereâs nothing to worry about, my knee gets like that every once and a while iâm okay.â you smile, trying to ease his concern. âiâd believe that if i didnât just watch you limp over here.â he says, folding his arms, raising an eyebrow.
â while i appreciate the concern,â you smile, you unfold his arms, sliding your hands in his, âi promise i am fine, itâs just a little swollen and sore. nothing a little ice and aspirin canât fix.â you place a kiss on his cheek, moving to get to the car.
well at least you were trying to until your knee gave out once more, causing you to stumble. he catches you before you can fall, wrapping an arm around your waist, âwoah! okay y/n, thatâs not normal!â he exclaims, helping you stand.
âokay it looks bad but i promise itâs fine, i have it under control.â you tried reassure him, but he wasnât buying it. ây/n.â his tone was stern and his eyes were worried. you sighed, knowing what had to be done. âi know.â you whispered, looking down. âbut i canât afford to go right now.â he sighed, pulling you into him, placing his arms around you.
âpeach, you gotta get this checked out please, youâre making me worried.â you feel a slight sting behind your eyes, turning your face into his neck, wrapping your arms around him. âdonât worry about the money, okay? but we gotta get this figured out before it gets worse.â he whispers next to your ear, placing a kiss there.
you nod, taking a deep breath, pulling back looking at him. âokay, iâll call tomorrow.â he smiles, placing a kiss on your temple. âokay good, now letâs go home hm?â you sniffle nodding. âyes please.â
he walks you to the car, helping you in the car, closing the door and making his way to the driverâs side. he grabs your hand, placing it on your thigh as he started the journey home. once he pulls into the parking lot of your complex, helps you out of the car.
âweâre gonna take it slow okay?â you go to open your mouth but quickly shut it, seeing the stern look on his face. you grab the hand he holds out, slowly make your way up the flight of stairs, one by one.
once making it into the apartment, you both kick off shoes, making your way into your room. âgo shower, iâll grab your clothes and towel for you.â he squeezes your hand as you part ways. you slowly make your way to your ensuite while he heads to your closet.
you turn on the water, making sure itâs set to warm the ridding yourself of your work clothes. once naked, you double check the temperature of the water before carefully stepping in, making sure to find your balance against the wall.Â
you heard a knock on the door before it opens, âpeach?â he calls out, âi got your towel and some comfy clothes for you, iâm gonna set them on the counter okay?â you hear as he places the collection on the counter. âokay, thank you i.n-ah.â your heart warms at the act, wondering how you got so lucky. he takes a seat on the toilet, taking out his phone, scrolling through a delivery app.
ânoona, what do you want for dinner?â he asks, âi was thinking ramen.â you canât help the smile on your face as you sit under the water. âthat sounds perfect.âÂ
you both fall into casual conversation as you finish your shower and he finishes your order. you turn off the water and peek around the curtain, finding jeongin standing with your towel in hand. you reach your hand but he pulls it away before you can. he leans forward, âkiss please.â he purses his lips, waiting.
you giggle, rolling your eyes before giving him a quick kiss, âpleasure doing business with you.â he smiles, handing you the soft fabric. you wrap the towel around you, stepping out of the shower as jeongin walks about into your room, giving you privacy to get dressed.
you quickly dry off, carefully getting dressed, leaning on the sink to put on your shorts. you walk back into your room to find jeongin on your bed with lotion and massage oil next to him.
he smiles as you enter the room, patting the spot next to him, signaling you to take a seat. you make your way over, sitting against the pillows, being mindful of your knee. once settled he moves to sit in front of you, gently placing your leg on top of his.
âwhich one?â he asks, holding up the two bottles. âuh, the oil, but only a little please.â he nods, knowing you hate the feeling of anything greasy. he gets to work gently rubbing your knee, making sure to not apply too much pressure.
you both sit in silence while he worked his magic. you took in his side profile, taking this opportunity to truly take in his appearance. his soft skin, his boba eyes, his dimples that peak out every once in a while.
he senses someone looking at him causing him to look up, locking eyes with you. his cheeks become a light pink, âstop staring at me, weirdo.â he mumbles, continuing his task on your knee. you gasp in offense, âyou're lucky my knee hurts or iâd kick you.â you pout, sinking into the pillow behind you.
he giggles before placing a kiss to your knee, moving to rub the underside of our knee. you hiss but soon relax as he works the sore muscle. you fall into conversation once more, him recounting his day as you relax further and further into the bed.
you end up falling asleep halfway through his story about hyunjinâs cuteness aggression halting dance practice once more. he looks over as soft breaths leave your lips, careful moving and placing your legs on the bed and a soft blanket over you.
placing a kiss on your forehead he leaves to prepare bowls, utensils and drinks for dinner, only waking you once it arrives. he brings it in with all other necessities to help soothe the pain in your knee, spending the rest of the night pampering you and icing your knee.
do not repost
i hope you all enjoyed! i kinda got lost in the sauce and made these alot longer than they should've lol but hopefully they're still good! please let me n ilya know what u think! love u guys <33
#lee know#lee minho#changbin#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#yang jeongin#i.n#stray kids#lee know imagine#lee know x reader#changbin imagine#changbin x reader#seo changbin imagine#seo changbin x reader#hyunjin imagine#hyunjin x reader#i.n x reader#i.n imagine#stray kids imagine#stray kids x reader#stray kids fake texts#stray kids fluff#ash's archive â§âËâ©ćœĄ
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Saying âI Love Youâ for the first time. - Mouthwashing HC
These are written with the pretense that⊠THEY LIKE U BACK!! (Except for Swansea cause heâs marriedâŠsorri) THIS WAS SO PAINFUL CAUSE I WAS WRITING THEM IN PARAGRAPHS AND THEN⊠boom. 1000+ words lost. Never writing on tumblr again, rookie mistake. Anyways, enjoy!! Promise next post will be higher effort
Curly (Pre-Crash)
Heâs quick to make a teasing comment on your unprofessionalism, confessing to your captain and all. But heâs honestly super flustered and trying not to grin like a kid on Christmas Day.
He takes a moment to sit with it. Itâs likely that you two would have made advances toward each other for a while, as Curly is the type to take things slow if heâs serious. After a year of pining, you two were finally dating! But hearing those words from your lips brought him to such happiness because he knew you meant it unconditionally, without expecting anything from him.
After this instance, it became common practice for both of you to remind the other of your love. Curly had never been a âwords-of-affirmationâ kind of guy, but this was an exception. âI love youâ turned into his favorite phrase, as it was the perfect way to release the tension building in his heart from just how badly he had fallen for you.
Curly (Post-Crash)
He honestly couldnât believe that you could stomach looking at him, let alone still sit with romantic feelings for him. It brought him to tears when he heard it, unable to comprehend how somebody could show him such boundless affection and care. He wasnât used to unconditional love.
He forced himself through the immense pain to slur the words back, and thatâs when you began to cry. He forced it out again and again, until you convinced him through pleading not to speak. You knew how much it hurt him, so you assured him that knowing was enough. You didnât need the reassurance.
Upon your return to Earth, Curly not only had surgeries to make his face a little more structurally sound, but he had attended speech therapy to make up for the years he spent in near silence. One of the first things he learned was your name, and then âI love you.â It brought you to tears hearing it again for the first time in so long. It was okay though, as he could hold you in his scarred arms as long as you needed to cry it all out.
Daisuke
At first, he thought you were being silly. âAww, I love you too,â he giggled. It wasnât until you spoke up again with a more serious tone that he realized, and you swear youâd never seen a man turn red so fast. He was so taken aback, asking you at least five times if you were serious and if you were sure. Once his nerves were satisfied, he returned the gesture.
âI love you too. Like a lot, a lot. Soooo much. Like, I really thought I was tweaking out or something from like, the way my whole body would go numb around you and my brain would get fuzzy-â his drawn out explanation on how his romantic feelings for you overwhelmed him made you laugh. Within the next day, you two were dating.
Even before you two got together, Daisuke ranted to anybody who would listen about just how perfect you were. Now? Oh, man. Swansea has been really considering throwing him out into space after hearing about your confession for the twentieth time from his loud-ass mouth.
Anya
It was honestly a relief to her that you had said something first. She had been trying her best to stay professional, but seeing you all the time, your smile and laugh, the way you spoke passionately about what you loved; it made it harder every day as she fell further for you. You were one of the first people she grew close to on the Tulpar, and the first she went to when Jimmy⊠did what he did. The trust between you both was ample and strong.
She was quick to say it back, like it was a breath of air sheâd been holding in way too long and needed out. You two laughed from the sheer relief on her face, teasing her thoroughly about it. She didnât hesitate to grill you right back for being the one who confessed first. It shut you up pretty fast. You both agreed within the hour to start dating!
There were mixed reactions among the crew. Some extremely supportive, and then some straight up bitter and resentful (Jimbo). Jimmy began to treat you especially cruelly, and you refused to stand by and let it happen. Curly also helped to defend you when he could, seemingly coming to his senses about Jimmyâs behavior. You could tell that Anya felt intense guilt for your pain, but you assured her that it wasnât her fault. It was your decision to date her knowing everything you did. You were happy by her side. She certainly cried over that privately, completely enamored.
Swansea
Swansea is married, so he knew to take your words in a familial sense. He didnât return it, saying something like, âYouâd better kid. With all I do for you.â But when you him on his lonesome in the utility room? Yeah, he smiled about it.
f you had a bad childhood due to your parents, Swansea could tell pretty quick. He never considered it his problem, but even still, he took you under his wing with Daisuke. He wanted to give you guidance in the ways he knew how. You deserved that, at least. He would go out of his way to help you when you needed, mostly with solving practical problems. He had never been the most emotionally aware, but he tried with you. He figured even if he couldnât assist you much, itâd be good practice for his daughter on the way.
Thatâs not to say he never had any advice. He struggled to comfort, but he was quick to pick up on your mistakes and told you the blatant truth. You appreciated that, even if he was harsh at times, cause it helped you become a better person.
Jimmy
Your confession was certainly an ego boost, but nothing past that. He couldnât believe that you could say something like âI love youâ to someone like him without there being pity behind it. Even still, he returned the gesture because he knew that getting with you would make you so much easier to use. He took the opportunity.
The entire crew, aside from you two, were completely flabbergasted when they found out you two were together. Swansea was quick to ask âWhy,â hoping to understand the reason behind such a horrible decision on your part. He didnât get a good answer from you. Anya felt such pity for you, sure that a good person like you had been manipulated into that position. Even still, she couldnât help you without putting herself in danger, so she kept her distance.
After the crash, Jimmy took out all his frustrations on you in private through abuse: sexual, physical, verbal, and however else he felt in the moment. Nobody was confused when you started wearing more covering clothes beneath your uniform. Swansea was the only one to really step up against Jimmy when he found that he was hurting you. You had to beg Swansea not to kill Jimmy for that alone, and even still, jimmy got a beating. Daisuke checked on you as much as possible, worrying constantly for your well being. Curly found your relationship to be one more thing to feel guilt over, as he once again couldnât do a single thing to protect somebody from him.
#mouthwashing x reader#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing#mouthwashing headcanon#headcanons
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and there was something 'bout you (that now I can't remember) â fushiguro megumi.
Then, you smiled, soft and genuine, the kind that made his heart ache with both joy and longing. âItâs a good thing I have someone like you, though.â you said, leaning your head against his shoulder for just a moment, as if seeking reassurance. âMy Megumi.â "My Megumi." you said softly, the words like a balm that soothed every ache, every frustration heâd been holding onto. The way you said his name, it reached down to the deepest part of him, pulling at heartstrings that felt knotted and tired. It made him feel more alive than he ever thought possible, like for just a moment, the world could pause and bask in that glow. It was always like this with you. The way you spoke his name, the way your voice wrapped around it like a melody, made everything else fade away. It was as if the sun itself came out just to light the room when you said Megumi. He knew with a certainty that startled him that he couldnât live without this, without you.
GENRE: alternate universe - modern no curses au;
WARNING/S: nsfw, angst, fluff, aged up characters, brief one sided romance, eventual romance, slice of life, conflicted feelings, hurt/comfort, sad ending, physical touch, character death, mourning, loneliness, pain, grief, internal conflict, future, letting go, break up, getting back together, depiction of character death, depiction of romance, depiction of internal conflict, depiction of complicated relationship, depiction of loneliness, mention of grief, depiction of illness, mention of illness, mention of loneliness;
WORD COUNT: 21k words
NOTE: when i sent this to my beta reader last night, it was like 17k words. it ended with 5k more words than it needed to be. but with how i write, i just end up being the most unpredictable person. even to myself. i wanted to write about megumi cause i missed him. i hope yall guys understand. anyway, i hope you enjoy this a lot!!! i'll see you soon on the next one!!! i love you all <3
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MEETING YOU FELT LIKE DESTINY. And he would not have it any other way. If one was being honest, you were the only other constant in Fushiguro Megumiâs life â besides his sister Tsumiki and Gojo Satoru. But that was to be expected. He trusted no one.
He likes to think he was a tough crowd, that he wasnât easy to please. But Megumi expected that. After all, what child wouldnât have that issue, when his dad left him and his sister to fend for themselves at such a young age? He was bound to have mistrust for everyone and anyone who canât prove themselves.Â
He hadnât expected to make a friend, not really. If he was being honest, talking to people wasnât something he excelled at, and reading othersâ expressions felt like a puzzle he was never meant to solve.
He was and always will be someone who had a hard time with people. But then there was you, full of unexpected warmth, approaching him on the playground, holding out your prized Charizard card in exchange for his Jigglypuff. You seemed to be the exception.Â
âHey, you!â You pointed at him like he was a riddle you had just solved. Megumi blinked, glancing around to make sure you werenât talking to someone else.
âYes?â He answered, the single word sounding more like a question.
You marched up to him, unbothered by the silence that followed. âIâll trade you my Charizard for your Jigglypuff.â
Megumiâs brows knit together in disbelief. He stared down at the holographic card you offered, one that every kid in school would beg to have, and then at the tiny, pink Jigglypuff in his hands that no one ever wanted.
âWhy?â he asked, eyes narrowing just slightly. âCharizard is powerful. Why do you want this weak card?â
âBecause itâs cute! And I love cute things! WellâŠeverything cute, really!â you said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.Â
Your smile was bright, eyes crinkling as if you were laughing at a secret only you knew. When he slowly handed over the Jigglypuff card, your face lit up with such joy that it made Megumi feel like he had done something incredible. You hugged the card to your chest and then looked at him with a grin.Â
âThank you for trading with me! Do you wanna be friends?â
Fushiguro Megumi stared at you for a good few seconds, stunned by your straightforwardness. You were smiling all throughout that. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. And he could feel it, even then.
You pulled him so close to you with your magnetic pull. He spun around you almost immediately, like the moon embracing the earth. But before he could answer, you added with a playful tilt of your head.Â
âIâll even let you win in tag! AndâŠand I can share my candies! My mommy gave me a lot to share!â
A small, surprised smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He didnât notice it himself at first. But he likes to think that he only remembered how he smiled years later, when you pointed out to him. Yet all he could focus on is how you smiled at him. How you were so happy, waiting for his answer to your invitation.Â
âYouâre on.â he said, his voice soft but resolute.
That continued on as you both found yourself living in bodies that grew older and minds that grew wiser. Years passed and yet you had only gotten closer to one another. Both of you were now in middle school, and almost everyday since then â you had always been together.
Fushiguro Megumi could not remember a day where you both were ever even apart. Just one smile and he was hooked. His morning, his noon and night would be consumed by you. And he rinses and repeats.Â
The playground turned into hallways and classrooms, and those silly childhood games were replaced with quiet study sessions and whispered jokes. But the feeling you gave him never changed.
He still felt like he was holding something rare and precious whenever you smiled at him like that. Everything about your smile was the most precious warmth he could ever feel, that he admits.
One evening, as you both sat under the orange sky, your laughter from an earlier joke fading into content silence, you turned to him, resting your chin on your knee. âHey, Megumi?â
He glanced over, meeting your eyes that were as warm as ever. âYeah?â
âDo you ever think about how lucky we are to have met?â you said, your voice light but sincere.
Megumi looked down at his hands for a moment, feeling the weight of your question. âYeah.â he replied, his voice low. Then, looking back at you with a rare, soft smile, he added, âMore than you know.â
You blinked in surprise, cheeks turning pink. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
Megumi shrugged, eyes glinting with a teasing challenge. âFigure it out, you dummy.â
As your laughter rang out, he knew, in that moment, that he was irrevocably in love with you. He always had been, and he always would be.
Your laughter bubbled into the quiet evening air, filling the space around you both with a warmth that wrapped itself around Megumi like a familiar embrace. You playfully nudged his shoulder, eyes sparkling with curiosity.Â
âOh, so now youâre mysterious, huh? Fushiguro Megumi, youâre supposed to be the serious one!â
Megumi huffed a soft chuckle, a rare sound that made your heart skip. âMaybe Iâve been keeping secrets all this time, you know?â he said, his tone light, though there was a weight behind it that he didnât dare show.
Your eyebrows rose as you leaned in, eyes narrowing with curiosity. âSecrets? Like what?â You poked his arm playfully, eyes alight with mischief. âSpill it, or Iâll never let you live it down.â
He met your gaze for a moment, searching your face, the sunset casting warm shadows across your features. The thought of confessing everythingâhow many nights heâd spent thinking about you, worrying about you, loving you, it all made everything tighten in his chest. But he pushed it back down, letting the familiar wall settle back into place.
âThere are some secrets that are better left unsaid, you dummy.â he said, his voice steady but distant.
You pouted, crossing your arms with a huff. âYou always do that. Youâre always hiding things from me, Megumi. You know you can trust me, right?â
His eyes softened, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. âI know, I know.â he said, pausing before adding. âBut you shouldnât hide things from me either. Like when your boyfriend stands you up.â
The playful expression fell from your face, replaced by surprise. You stared at him, wide-eyed and speechless. âHow did youââ
âI just know.â he interrupted, looking away, his jaw tightening as he bit back the frustration that had been building inside him for weeks.
He hated the way you always made excuses for people who didnât deserve you. He hated even more that you loved the wrong ones. You sighed, the tension in your shoulders easing as you gave a small shrug.
âHeâs busy, you know heâs on the baseball team.â you said, though your voice was thin, even to your own ears.
Megumi clenched his jaw, swallowing the urge to argue, to tell you that being âbusyâ wasnât a good enough reason. But he knew it wouldnât change anything. He didnât want to ruin this moment, didnât want to see you upset. So, he said nothing.
Then, you smiled, soft and genuine, the kind that made his heart ache with both joy and longing. âItâs a good thing I have someone like you, though.â you said, leaning your head against his shoulder for just a moment, as if seeking reassurance. âMy Megumi.â
"My Megumi." you said softly, the words like a balm that soothed every ache, every frustration heâd been holding onto.
The way you said his name, it reached down to the deepest part of him, pulling at heartstrings that felt knotted and tired. It made him feel more alive than he ever thought possible, like for just a moment, the world could pause and bask in that glow.
It was always like this with you. The way you spoke his name, the way your voice wrapped around it like a melody, made everything else fade away. It was as if the sun itself came out just to light the room when you said Megumi. He knew with a certainty that startled him that he couldnât live without this, without you.
The air between you was heavy, charged with words unsaid and emotions kept at bay. Megumi felt his fingers twitch again, that familiar pull to reach for you, to close the space that always felt like miles, even when it was only inches.
You turned to look at him, eyebrows knitting in concern as you noticed the silence. âMegumi, are you okay?âÂ
Your voice was soft, searching, the way it always was when you sensed something under the surface. He forced a smile, one that didnât reach his eyes. âYeah. Just⊠thinking.â
âThinking? Now thatâs dangerous!â you joked, nudging him lightly, your eyes sparkling with mischief. It was an attempt to bring back the lightness, and he couldnât help but let out a small laugh, a sound that surprised even him.
âI guess I canât argue with that.â he replied, his voice low, but there was warmth in it, the kind reserved only for you.
You tilted your head, studying him like he was one of your favorite puzzles to solve. âWell, whatever it is, you know Iâm here, right? You donât have to keep things to yourself.â
The sincerity in your eyes, in the way you said those words, nearly broke him. He swallowed hard, willing the emotions to stay under control. I know, he wanted to say. And thatâs why this hurts so much.
âI know.â he said instead, and it was all he could manage. The truth weighed heavy on his tongue, but he bit it back, holding on to this moment instead; the warmth of your presence, the sound of your laughter lingering in the air.
For now, this was enough. He would live in the warmth of your voice calling his name, over and over, in this moment that felt like forever.
âââââââââââââââââââ
HE ALREADY EXPECTED FOR THIS TO HAPPEN. Fushiguro Megumi came as soon as he got your call. How could he not show up? He had to. You needed him. More than ever, especially now. The moment he heard your shaky voice, his heart clenched with worry and anger. He had to get to you. He had to put his anger aside.
But he can't help it. He'd never liked him. That jerk of an ex-boyfriend of yours. And now all he could think is, how dare he break your heart? He was unworthy from the beginning and now he thinks he gets the right to you miserable?
His mind raced, weaving through every memory of seeing you smile, laugh, and light up at the smallest things, now replaced by the image of you in pain. Even that thought makes him even more angrier. He hated it. More than anything, more than you jerk of an ex-boyfriend.
Megumi felt like he was going to lose it. He always loses it when it comes to you. Everything about you was something that he felt like he had to cherish and treasure. And so, he bears everything about you, happiness or joy, as a part of him.
Because he loved you. More than anyone else in the world, he liked to believe. His love wasnât flashy or loud; it was quiet, deep, and constant, like an unspoken promise woven through the moments you shared.Â
And yet, people claimed to love you and then hurt you without a second thought. The unfairness of it all made his love even stronger, more resolute. It was a love that stayed in the silent spaces between words, in the way he noticed when you were tired, or remembered how you took your tea, or lingered on your laugh long after youâd left.
But saying it out loud? That was different. He didnât think he could do thatânot now, when you were hurting. Now, when the shattered pieces of your heart werenât his to fix, but his to hold steady until you could piece them back together.
The rain came down harder as he found you, sitting alone on the cold, wet bench, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself. Your hair was plastered to your face, water streaming down your cheeks, indistinguishable from your tears. You looked up when he called your name, and the raw anguish in your eyes made his breath hitch.
Everything was soaking through his jacket as he searched the park. But he could care less. Not when he stood here, watching you continue to sit on the bench under the dim glow of a streetlight, your knees pulled to your chest and your shoulders trembling with silent sobs. The sight made something twist in his chest so fiercely it hurt.
âHey.â he called softly as he approached, his voice steady but urgent. You didnât look up, too lost in your world of hurt, raindrops mingling with the tears that fell freely down your cheeks.
âMegumiâŠâŠ.â Your voice cracked, barely audible over the pounding rain.
He dropped down in front of you without hesitation, his jeans soaking through as he knelt in the puddles. âHey.â he whispered, reaching out to push a wet strand of hair away from your face. His touch was gentle, deliberate, as if afraid youâd break.Â
âAre you alright?â The question was hollow, a placeholder for everything he couldnât put into words.
A humorless laugh escaped your lips, bitter and fragile. âNo. Not even close.â
Megumiâs jaw clenched. He wanted to say so muchâthat you deserved better, that he would give you the world if you let him, that heâd never let anyone hurt you if he could help it. But all he could do was cup your face in his hands, fingers warm against your chilled skin.Â
âIâm here, okay?â he said, the words weighted with every unsaid promise. âIâm here, and Iâm not going anywhere.â
You let out a shuddering breath, your eyes filling with fresh tears as you looked at him. His eyes, dark and fierce, were fixed on you with such intensity it made your chest ache in a different way, something softer, more hopeful. For a moment, the world around you blurred, the rain and cold forgotten in the heat of his gaze.
A fresh wave of tears welled up, but this time they werenât just from pain. They were from the sheer relief of having him here, solid and real, when everything else felt like it was crumbling. He hated seeing you fall apart like this. He hated seeing you in so much grief about things you didnât even need to grieve.Â
âI canât believe heââ You started, voice cracking, but Megumi cut you off with a shake of his head.
âNo, no.â he said firmly, his dark eyes meeting yours with a fierce protectiveness. âYou donât deserve any of this. You deserve someone who would never make you feel this way.â
A shiver ran down your spine, part from the cold and part from the warmth in his voice. The rain dripped from his hair, tiny rivulets running down his face, but he didnât flinch, didnât move. He just stayed there, eyes fixed on you like you were the only thing that mattered.
Slowly, you reached out and wrapped your arms around him, clinging tightly as if he was the last piece keeping you together. He pulled you close, the rain forgotten as he whispered, âIâve got you. Always.â
âWhy canât everyone be like you, Megumi?â you whispered, the question hanging between you, filled with everything he couldnât say.
He closed his eyes, the weight of his love pressing against his ribcage, aching to be let out. But he simply pulled you closer, his arm wrapping around your shoulders.Â
âMaybe someday, Iâm certain about it all.â he whispered. âYouâll see that some people are.â
In that moment, as he held you close under the downpour, Megumi vowed that even if he never said it out loud, you would always know it in the way he stayed. And as the storm raged on around you, for the first time that night, you felt a little bit safer.
âââââââââââââââââââ
IF YOU WERE BEING HONEST, LIFE WAS GOOD NOW. And it was because you had Fushiguro Megumi. Around Megumi, for the first time that night, you felt a little bit safer. His presence anchored you, solid and reassuring, as if the world could rage on around you, but youâd be alright as long as he was there.Â
The days that followed that stormy night were different. Your shared moments became longer, and your conversations deepened. You found yourself opening up to him in a way you hadnât with anyone else, and he listened, offering small, thoughtful words that seemed to echo in your mind long after he said them.
Megumi and you became closer, like pieces of a puzzle finally finding their fit. You leaned on him more, seeking the comfort of his steady, unwavering support. Whether it was the simple act of sharing a quiet study session or walking side by side down the crowded school halls, you started to feel his presence as a constant, a pillar in your life. And with each passing moment, Megumi found himself falling deeper.
It was in the little thingsâthe way your laughter returned, hesitant at first, then full and bright whenever he made a rare, dry joke. Youâd throw your head back, eyes crinkled with genuine joy, and heâd pretend to be focused on something else just so he could hide his smile.
âYouâre not even funny, you know that?â you teased one afternoon, nudging him with your shoulder as you both walked through the park, the sun filtering through the leaves.
âOh? I didnât know you laughed at unfunny things.â he replied, a hint of a smirk playing at his lips.
You rolled your eyes playfully. âI guess I make exceptions.â
It was also in the way your hand would find him during the quiet momentsâwhen you both sat on the school steps, waiting for the last of the rain to clear, or when you talked late at night under a sky full of stars.
Your touch was unconscious, as if you didnât realize the effect it had on him, but each time it sent warmth radiating through his chest, melting the layers of doubt he wore like armor.
One evening, as the sky painted itself in hues of pink and orange, you sat together on the small bench in your favorite park. The air was filled with the gentle rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of crickets. You turned to him, your eyes soft and thoughtful.Â
âDo you ever wonder why some people come into your life at the exact moment you need them?â
He met your gaze, the question settling between you. His heart thudded, a mix of hope and nerves. âYeah.â he said, his voice steady but quiet. âI think about it a lot.â
You tilted your head, studying him with a smile that made his pulse quicken. âIâm glad youâre in mine, Megumi.â
The simple statement was enough to send a rush of warmth flooding through him. He looked away, the hint of pink dusting his cheeks, and muttered, âMe too.â
Moments like these made him realize just how deeply heâd fallen for you. Fushiguro Tsumiki had caught on, of course. She knew Megumi best in the world. Sheâd grin knowingly whenever he brought up your name, and she wasnât subtle about giving him nudges when you came over. Megumi thinks he would have no peace at home knowing all that.
âYou need to tell them, your feelings.â sheâd say with a pointed look. âThey deserve to know.â
Gojo Satoru, in his typical flamboyant manner, took every opportunity to pester him. âIf you donât say something soon, I swear Iâm going to set up a banner. âConfess, Megumi!â at your school. Itâll be perfect. Iâll even use sparkles!â heâd joke, bright blue eyes gleaming with mischief.
Megumi would glare, a mix of irritation and anxiety bubbling inside him. But when he was alone, his mind would wander to the what-ifs. What if he told you, and everything changed? What if the easy moments between you became strained? He couldnât stand the thought of losing this version of you, where your laughter was shared and your touch was easy.
One evening, when you were leaving after spending the day together, you turned back at the door, eyes bright. âSame time tomorrow?â you asked.
He nodded, feeling that familiar warmth bloom in his chest. âYeah, same time.â
You beamed at him, that smileâthe one that made him feel like maybe, just maybe, he had a chance. And as you walked away, Megumi felt the pull to call out, to say something, anything.
But the fear gripped him, held him back. For now, heâd stay in the safety of what you had, even as his heart whispered that someday soon, heâd need to be brave enough to reach for more.
And more and more, his sister and Gojo were starting to notice how heâs falling for you. Tsumiki noticed the way he watched you when he thought no one was looking, the way his eyes softened when you spoke.Â
After dinner tonight, she caught him staring at his phone after reading a text from you, a small, knowing smile spread across her face. Megumi wasnât even sure that he was that obvious. But he was.
Everyone was aware, more than he would have liked. It was his private life and yet, it was his own fault how it seeped in the real world. Yet, it was like that when it came to you. He canât help it.Â
âMegumi.â she said, leaning against the kitchen counter, âitâs high time you tell them how you feel.â
He looked up, startled. âWhat? No. Itâs not⊠I meanââ He fumbled, cheeks turning red as he struggled to find an excuse.
Satoru, who had been lounging nearby and catching every word, let out a loud, exaggerated sigh. Megumi knew that Gojo Satoru was going to annoy him about this. Tsumiki is one thing. But that was his elder sister.
He was bound to just let her get into his life. But it was different when it came to their guardian. He was more of an annoying adult to Megumi. And he didnât like how he touched his life like that. Even if he knew it was care.
âKid, if you donât confess, Iâm going to make a banner and announce it to the entire school I teach at, when you visit.â he teased, eyes gleaming mischievously. âItâs so painfully obvious. Even the kids at the school picked up on that fact! Do you know how obvious you have to be that kid Todo picked up on?â
Megumi glared at him, but his usual annoyance didnât stick. Instead, a flicker of anxiety gnawed at him, deep and stubborn. He knew Tsumiki and Gojo were right. Heâd heard the whispers of his own heart long enough; he knew he was in love with you. But the idea of confessing it out loud? Of risking everything he already had with you? It paralyzed him.
âWhat if⊠what if it ruins things?â he muttered, looking down at his hands. The idea of you looking at him differently, of you stepping back, distancing yourselfâit was unbearable. âWhat if they donât feel the same? I donât want to lose what we have now.â
Tsumikiâs smile softened, and she walked over, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. âMegumi, youâll never know unless you try. And if they care about you even half as much as I think they do, nothing will change.â
Satoru chimed in with a rare moment of seriousness. âMegumi, youâre braver than you give yourself credit for. Youâve faced the worst of the world already with Tsumiki. But this? This is one small leap compared to that.â
The words made sense, but fear wrapped around his chest like a vise. Every time he opened his mouth to tell you, doubt clawed its way in. He could picture the worst: your kind eyes turning sad, the warmth between you cooling into awkward silence.
But as days passed and your laughter echoed in his ears, each missed opportunity stung. Every time you looked at him with that bright smile, it chipped away at his fear, replacing it with a longing stronger than any curse heâd faced. And Megumi knew, deep down, that he couldnât put it off forever.
âââââââââââââââââââ
IT WAS A RARE DAY OFF FROM SCHOOL. So, it was easy for you to come and call Megumi to hang out. Megumi was someone who had a hard time going with the flow of things. He liked order in his life. But when he is with you, everything is unpredictable.
Everything was a surprise. And so he enjoyed it. He enjoyed letting you wreck his life into things he couldnât predict. Chaos is livable when he was next to you. And perhaps, you knew that more than he did. Â
And todayâs request was to go to a skate park. You didnât know how to skate, nor do you have the balance that allowed you to do so. But you saw an ad for it and you thought that trying was something that would be enjoyable for the two of you. So, Megumi sighed. But he nodded and immediately walked as you practically hopped to the booth where they rented out their skates.
The skate park was buzzing with life when you and Megumi arrived, the warm glow of the setting sun casting a golden hue over everything. Laughter and the sound of wheels on concrete filled the air as you glanced nervously at the smooth expanse of the park. Megumi noticed your hesitation and smirked, handing you a helmet.
âDonât worry, okay?â he said, voice soft and reassuring. âIâll be here the whole time. Just hold on if you need to.â
You nodded, cheeks warming at the idea. The two of you stepped onto the rink, and you immediately reached out, grabbing his arm for balance. He tensed slightly at the contact but relaxed when he saw the nervous smile on your face.
âReady?â he asked, his voice steadier than he felt.
âReady.â you replied, even though your heart was thumping wildly in your chest.
The first few minutes were shaky. You wobbled and stumbled, and every time you did, Megumiâs arm was there, strong and steady. His hand eventually found its way to yours, fingers intertwining as he guided you along, step by careful step.
The warmth of his touch sent a pleasant jolt up your spine, and you couldnât help but glance at him, noticing how focused he looked, his hair slightly messy from the helmet. You could feel yourself looking at him for a while and then becoming flustered when he looks back at you.
âYouâre doing great.â he said, a rare smile appearing as you both glided a little more smoothly across the rink.
âThanks to you!â you laughed breathlessly, holding on tightly when you hit a slight dip.
He steadied you immediately, the closeness making your heart stutter. His eyes met yours for a brief moment, dark and intense under the rinkâs twinkling lights, and you felt a rush of something that made your stomach flutter.
As the sky darkened into twilight, the skate park began to empty, and an announcement boomed over the loudspeakers. âThe park will be closing in fifteen minutes.â
You sighed, a little disappointed that the night was coming to an end. âI guess thatâs it for tonight, huh?â you said, a wistful note in your voice.
Megumi nodded and helped you off the rink, his hand lingering on yours a moment longer than necessary. You sat on a nearby bench, taking off your helmets and catching your breath. The sounds around you faded as you felt the cool evening air settle around you both.
âYou knowâŠ..â Megumi started, his tone unusually hesitant. He looked at you, eyes searching yours as if gathering the courage to speak. âI wasnât sure if this was a good idea, teaching you how to skate. But Iâm glad we did it.â
You tilted your head, curiosity sparking in your gaze. âWhy wouldnât it be a good idea?â
He exhaled, a subtle tremor in his voice as he rubbed the back of his neck. âBecause⊠being this close to you makes it hard to keep things to myself.â
Your heart skipped a beat, and your brows knit together slightly. âMegumi?â
He looked away, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. âI thinkâI know that Iâm in love with you.â
The confession hung in the air, suspended between you as the world seemed to stand still. He winced, realizing what heâd just said, and moved to apologize, but your soft gasp interrupted him.
âYou⊠youâre in love with me?â you repeated, eyes wide and cheeks turning rosy.
His breath caught, and he nodded slowly. âYeah. I know itâs sudden, and I donât want things to change if you donât feel the same. But I couldnât keep pretending that I donâtââ
Before he could finish, you leaned in, pressing your forehead to his, your eyes glistening. âI do. I feel the same way, Megumi.â you whispered, a smile breaking through as his eyes widened.
The tension melted away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of relief and warmth. He let out a breathy chuckle, the sound rare and real. âYou do?â he asked, almost as if needing to hear it again.
You nodded, your fingers finding him and squeezing them tightly. âYes, I do.â
The skate park around you was closing, but neither of you noticed. For now, the world shrank to just the two of you, illuminated by the soft glow of the streetlights and the lingering thrill of confessions finally shared.
Megumi's surprise softened into a smile, rare and full of something warm and unguarded. He still held your hands, fingers intertwined as if anchoring himself to this moment, the world around you blurring into a comforting haze.
The distant sounds of closing gates and murmurs of the last stragglers leaving the park faded away, leaving only the two of you under the soft, golden streetlights. Yet that all faded to the background. All you could do was focus on the warmth in Megumi's beautiful blue-green orbs. All you could think about was how the world felt brighter when he was by your side.
âSay it again, please.â he murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper, as if part of him still couldnât believe it.
You laughed, the sound light and full of joy as you leaned in a little closer. âI love you, Megumi. For a while now. I love you then and now.â you said, your eyes searching his face to catch every flicker of emotion.Â
The way his lips parted slightly, the way his eyes softened as if he could melt under those words. Everything about it had made your heart flutter even more. You like to think he was just good at that. He swallowed, unable to suppress the smile that stretched across his face.Â
âYou donât know how long Iâve wanted to hear that.â he admitted, his voice rough but sincere.
âProbably about as long as Iâve wanted to say it.â you teased, nudging him playfully. He chuckled, the sound deep and unfamiliar even to him, and you couldnât help but notice how it made him look so much more at ease. âIâm sorry if I took a long while.â
The cool breeze picked up, rustling the leaves in the nearby trees, and you shivered involuntarily. Without thinking, Megumi slipped out of his jacket and draped it around your shoulders, his hands lingering at the collar to pull it snug. The fabric smelled like him; fresh and warm, with a hint of something you couldnât quite place but that was uniquely Megumi.
âThank you.â you said, your voice soft. Your eyes met his, and the look you exchanged was filled with so many unsaid words, promises and relief, all bundled together in a way that made your chest ache in the best way.
He glanced down, a subtle blush creeping up his neck. âWe should probably get going before they lock us in.â he said, the corner of his mouth twitching with amusement.
You nodded, but neither of you made a move to stand just yet. You both sat in that quiet moment for a little longer, soaking in the newness of what had just unfolded. Finally, Megumi stood up and offered you his hand, a small smile playing at his lips as he pulled you to your feet.
âLetâs get you home.â he said, the weight of the evening settling comfortably between you as you walked away from the now-closed skate park, your hands still intertwined.
As you strolled through the quiet streets, the gentle hum of the city wrapping around you, you couldnât help but steal glances at him. There was a contentment in his expression, a relaxed curve to his mouth that spoke of unguarded happiness.
âWhat are you thinking about?â you asked, nudging him lightly.
He glanced at you, eyes soft under the glow of the streetlights. âHow Iâm going to make sure I never keep something like that from you again.â
The sincerity in his voice made your heart swell, and you smiled, leaning against him as you walked. âGood.â you said. âBecause I plan on telling you every day.â
And as the two of you continued on into the night, the air between you felt differentânot just safe, but full of new possibilities, laughter, and love that was finally yours to share.
âââââââââââââââââââ
EVERYTHING HAPPENS AND CHANGES ALL THE TIME. You and Megumi were the happiest youâd ever been for a long time. Moving into the city had felt like an unspoken promise, a step forward toward a shared future.
A bright beautiful future that had once been only whispers in the quiet of your conversations. Together, you carved out a life in the heart of the bustling city, with its endless hum of activity and its ever-changing face.Â
You found an apartment that felt like it belonged to both of you. The floors creaked underfoot, their sound a reminder of the stories they held, the small, quiet moments of shared joy and unspoken understanding.
Big windows let the sunlight pour in during the mornings, catching the dust in beams of gold as you sat side by side with your coffee. The place was imperfect, but in that imperfection, it was beautiful, just like your life together.
Your days were spent in a rhythm that had once been in sync, the sounds of laughter and comfortable silence filling the air. Youâd talk about everything and nothing at all. Sometimes, it was about the art you were working on, the colors youâd used, or the gallery you were preparing for.Â
Other times, it was about his latest case, his eyes alight with the thrill of a challenge. You would stay up late, your feet tangled together under the blanket as you exchanged stories of the day, dreams for the future, and the occasional silly moment of laughter.
But, as the years passed, everything started to shift, imperceptible at first, like the gradual turning of the pages in a book you thought you knew so well. The city, which had once been your shared adventure, now became the thing that kept you apart.Â
The rhythm of your lives grew more erratic. Megumi, with his sharp mind and steady resolve, excelled in the high-stakes world of law. His career took off with rather good ease, and he quickly found himself buried in cases, depositions, meetings, and late-night strategizing. He became the star of the law firm he worked for. Everything was great for him.Â
You could see it in the crease of his brow, the way he stayed up into the early hours of the morning to prepare for court, his suit always a little wrinkled, his tie always a little loose, but his focus razor-sharp.
His world was all deadlines, high-profile clients, and courtroom battles that never seemed to stop. He thrived in it; he was good at it, brilliant evenâbut it took him away from you, slowly but surely.
You, too, threw yourself into your work, determined to build something of your own, to carve out your place in a world that sometimes felt like it was moving too fast for you. Your art became your refuge, the studio your sanctuary.
The city, with its mix of people, cultures, and experiences, was your muse. You found inspiration in the chaos and the beauty that wove through every street, every corner, every passerby.Â
But the more you painted, the more you found yourself lost in the solitude of it all. Late nights in galleries preparing for shows or days in the studio felt like your only real connection to the world.
Your mind was constantly racing with ideas, concepts, colors that needed to be captured before they slipped away. Your hands, once so used to holding his, now spent more time wrapped around a paintbrush than around his.
And so, the distance between you grew. The gap that once felt small, just a quiet space between moments, now felt insurmountable. You would come home to an empty apartment, the silence of it pressing in on you. Megumi would still be at the office, still lost in the whirlwind of his cases, his phone buzzing with messages that had to be answered immediately.Â
Youâd sit at the table, dinner half-eaten, waiting for him to walk through the door, but he rarely came home before midnight. When he did, heâd be tired, exhausted, really and youâd try your best to carry the conversation, but the words never came as easily as they once had.Â
Heâd ask about your day, but his eyes would already be half-closed, his attention already elsewhere. Youâd tell him about the gallery event or the new piece you were working on, but his responses would be short, distracted. Everything else besides his work became second. Everything else started to fade away into the background. Even you.
The moments that once felt so natural disappeared into the fog. You had always, the both of you, understood each other without speaking. But soon enough, everything began to feel strained, stretched thin under the weight of your respective worlds. Youâd lie awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to his breathing beside you, as he focused on reading case files on bed. Every night was like this.Â
It felt like he was a million miles away. You couldnât reach him. You couldnât feel him. It was like he wasnât there. And that broke your heart over and over. Because all you wanted was him. Yet you couldnât even have that. You couldnât even have a moment. You couldnât win. Not against fate itself.
There was no more laughter, no more stolen moments of joy in the middle of a busy day. It was as if the world around you was moving faster than you could keep up with, and you and Megumi were just trying to hold on to what little of each other remained.
The city, which had once been your shared adventure, now felt like a vast, indifferent landscape, a place where the two of you had become lost. And no matter how hard you tried to cling to the life youâd built, the distance between you was undeniable. It became this seesaw game. Both of you are waiting for someone to step out of it.Â
The silence grew, and the cracks started to form. Megumi, buried in his work, became more distant, his tired eyes unable to meet yours for longer than a few moments.
And you lost in the world of your art, your mind constantly in motion could just feel like it began to feel as though you couldnât do anything but chase. You were chasing something that would always stay just out of reach. You were chasing a ghost.Â
In the stillness of those long, lonely nights, you began to wonder how it all had slipped away so quietly. You had promised each other that nothing would come between you that no matter how much life changed, youâd always have each other. But promises, like time, sometimes slip through your fingers, and before you knew it, you were both holding on to something that wasnât there anymore.
And it hurt more than anything youâd ever known.
The times when your paths crossed grew fewer, and each time they did, it felt more like a fleeting moment you couldnât quite hold on to. Mornings that once held the warmth of shared cups of coffee and quiet conversation were now replaced with hurried mornings.Â
That quick abrupt hum of the alarm clock pulling you out of bed faster than you could stretch. Youâd barely exchange more than a quick kiss goodbye as you rushed out the door, his briefcase already in hand, your mind already occupied with the tasks of the day ahead.
The breakfasts that had once been filled with laughter, with soft smiles and small talk about what lay ahead, had transformed into something mechanical. Youâd grab your coffee, heâd grab his briefcase, and youâd both be off, each of you retreating into your own world before the day even began.
Evenings werenât much better. The quiet, intimate moments youâd shared over dinner, the kind that had made your world feel so right, had all but disappeared. Now, there were nights when you would come home to find him already asleep on the couch, his suit still on, papers scattered around him like a battlefield.Â
His face was soft with exhaustion, the tension in his body unmistakable even in sleep. His tie was loosened, his shirt wrinkled, but still, heâd sleep through it all, the weight of the day too heavy for him to shed. And he wouldnât notice that look in your eyes. That sadness you couldnât help but carry for this doomed relationship.
Youâd watch him for a moment, your heart aching at the sight, but then youâd quietly tiptoe past him, too tired yourself to wake him. The faint sound of his breathing was the only noise in the apartment, and youâd retreat into your own solitude, thinking maybe tomorrow would be different.
Sometimes, youâd come home after a late gallery event, the city lights outside your window blurred in the reflection of the glass. Youâd see the faint glow from his office, a soft halo of light against the shadows.
He wouldnât even notice how your presence creaked the wooden doors open. He wouldnât even budge at the sound of your keys clanking. Or your familiar footsteps merging with the mahogany ground. He wouldnât notice a damn thing.
But you would notice everything about him. Fushiguro Megumi would still be sitting there, case files spread out on the desk, his eyes glazed from hours of staring at legal jargon that never seemed to make sense. Youâd try to keep the frustration at bay, try to remind yourself that this was just temporary, that everything would settle soon.Â
But every time youâd reach out your hand and you would ask.
âDo you want to take a break? Maybe we can grab dinner?âÂ
Sometimes you wish you didn't ask.Â
Because his response would be the same.
âI canât tonight. Too much work.â
And youâd nod, the words dying in your throat, as you retreated again, feeling the ache in your chest grow with every passing day. The apartment, once a place of warmth and shared moments, now felt cold and empty, no matter how many art pieces you filled it with. It was just you, and him, but you were worlds apart.
And then the fights started.
They were small at firstâan offhand comment here, a sigh there, barely even loud enough to be called a fight. But they were enough. The tension built in the small spaces between words, in the way youâd avoid eye contact when you both spoke. Youâd complain about him missing dinner again, how youâd waited hours for him to come home, only for him to slip quietly into bed without saying a word.
âI canât be in two places at once, you know that.â heâd reply, his voice tight, a trace of guilt mixed with irritation in his words. âYou knew what I was getting into when I started this job.â
And you knew, deep down, you had known. But that didnât make it any easier. The dinners youâd missed together, the quiet evenings you spent alone, your frustrations, your loneliness. It all built up until it couldnât be ignored any longer. You tried to be patient. But you know that patience always has an expiration date. And yours had started to tick, like a bomb just waiting for the right time waiting to explode.
Everything felt useless now. Everything was one blow away from cracking down. The things you used to say to each other, the things that had made you feel so close, now felt hollow and distant. The love that had once been so certain now felt strained, fragile, as though it might crumble at any moment.
One evening, after a particularly grueling week for both of you, you came home from a late gallery event to find Megumi at the dining table, his tie loosened and his hair disheveled, the dark circles under his eyes deeper than usual.
He had papers scattered everywhere, the remnants of his latest case still strewn across the table like debris from a battle he couldnât quite win. He didnât even look up when you entered, his focus entirely on the papers in front of him.
âAnother late night?â he asked, not even looking up from the papers in front of him.
âYeah.â you said shortly, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice. âLike every other night.â
He sighed, leaning back in his chair. âWe never see each other anymore.â
âWhose fault is that?â you shot back before you could stop yourself. The room felt colder immediately, your own words stinging in the silence that followed.
âYou know this is important, both our careers are.â he said, voice strained, but his tone didnât soothe the growing ache in your chest.
âAnd what about us, Megumi? When did we stop being important?â
He looked up at you, eyes tired but holding that glimmer of hurt. âWe are. Weâre just⊠trying to keep up.â
âIt doesnât feel like weâre keeping up.â you whispered, eyes starting to sting with tears. âIt feels like weâre falling apart.â
The silence that settled was heavy, pressing down on both of you. He stood up, running a hand through his hair, the frustration evident. âWhat do you want me to do? Stop working? This is what I have to do. You know that.â
âAnd this is what I have to do.â you said, gesturing to your art supplies strewn around the room. âBut weâre not making it work, Megumi. Weâre barely making it through the day without fighting.â
He looked at you then, truly looked at you, and for a moment, his expression softened, a flicker of the old Megumi shining through. But it vanished as quickly as it came, replaced by the weight of reality.
There was panic in the way he looked at you. You felt a bile form at your throat. You knew what it looked like. He was realizing it. He saw that sadness in your eyes. The sadness that he had hated so much on you, he had caused it on you.Â
âI donât know how to fix this. IâŠ.â he said, his voice low and raw. âBabe, Iâm so sorryââ
You took a shaky breath, the words youâd been avoiding suddenly tumbling out. âMaybe⊠maybe we shouldnât try to fix it anymore. Iâm tired of all this, Megumi. I amâŠ.I am genuinely exhausted from trying to make it work.â
âBabe, listen we can talk this out and we can make it work. I know we can. Weââ
âMaybe we should break up.â
The room went still, the echo of your words ringing louder than anything else. His blueâgren eyes widened, a mix of disbelief and hurt coloring his features. Those words were the hardest you could ever say.
But perhaps it was the right words to say. Because he looked at you for the first time ever and finally, he saw you. He finally sees you, after such a long nightmare.Â
âYou donât mean that. Youââ he said, almost pleadingly, stepping closer.
âI do.â you said, voice breaking. âI canât take this anymore, Megumi. Weâre just making each other miserable, and itâs not fair to either of us.â
His shoulders sagged, and for the first time in a long while, he looked defeated. He reached out, almost as if he wanted to pull you back into a time when things were easier, when love was all you needed to bridge any gap.
But he stopped himself, letting his hand fall to his side. A sad small smile dances on your lips, biting them soon after. You could feel the tears fall from your weary eyes.
You were tired of fighting for something he couldnât. You were tired of doing it by yourself. And he knew that. He knew that all too well. There were no other ways for him to stop you from leaving him, from leaving all this pain behind. Pain he had caused you over and over again. Pain that would scar you for as long as you lived.
âI donât want to lose you.â he said softly, eyes glistening with unshed tears.Â
You looked away, fighting the sob that threatened to break free. âI donât want to lose you either. But weâre already losing each other.â
The words were so raw, so full of meaning, that it made your heart ache. But you could feel the wall between you two now, the one that youâd both been building without realizing it. You both donât know your place in this relationship. You have outgrown it and it wasnât even both your faults. It justâŠ.is life.
âI donât want to lose you either, you know that.â you said, your voice shaking. âBut I donât know how to fix this, Megumi. I donât know if I can keep waiting for you to come home when youâre already gone.â
The silence that fell over the two of you was deafening. The room felt colder, the space between you growing with every word that went unsaid. You stared at each other, both lost in the same silence, both unsure of where to go from here. The city outside continued to hum, oblivious to the cracks that were starting to form in the life youâd once built so carefully together.
The silence this time, it felt final. And as you both stood there, the cityâs lights flickering through the window, you realized that sometimes love isnât enough to fight against the things that pull you apart.
There were city lights, lights brighter than anything else. It was like the universe was here, and the stars beamed towards you both, like lovers. And yet, you were everything but in that moment. You were two people who finally saw the seesaw needs to fall down.
âIâll pack my things.â You say to him, smiling ever sadder than before. âIâll stay with a friend tonight. AndâŠIâll come back for my things.â
He doesnât say another word. But you can tell. He was close to crying. Yet he gives you one singular nod as you slowly walk towards him and place your hand on his cheek. As though it was the last time you would ever touch him.
He looks up from his gaze on the ground, trying to memorize this image of you. You can tell there was desperation. What if he doesnât see you again? What does he do?
âI loved you so much.â You said, the past tense making him flinch slightly. It was the hardest word to even pronounce. It felt harder to say five words than the usual three. âI still do. ButâŠI have to go. For our sake.â
âDonâtâŠ.â He whispers weakly. âDonât tell me this, not after we justâŠ.â
âGoodbye, Megumi.â You tell him, with finality. A smile blunt on your face, trying to make this memory redeemable. âI hope you live a long and happy life.â
When you walked out, the city lights looked at you and blinked.
And yet, Fushiguro Megumi felt like he didnât know what to do.
But he doesnât stop you as you walk away, taking warmth away.
He lets you go, because loving you meant living without you too.
That was the risk of loving someone, that was the risk of living in love.
âââââââââââââââââââ
A LOT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU BLINK. And thatâs what happened. He didnât expect it to happen, change will always have permanence. As much as time. Both are uncontrollable forces of nature. And he hated it.
Itâs been five years now since you and Megumi had last stood on solid ground together, since the life you built had slowly crumbled under the weight of work, time, and distance.Â
The memory of your arguments, your silences, still lingered in the back of his mind like a distant ache, a reminder of what once was and what was no longer. But time had done little to heal that wound.
In fact, Fushiguro Megumi had become even more entrenched in his work, burying himself in his career as a lawyer, trying to forget that, in the end, he had lost the one person who meant the most to him.
Now, sitting in a sterile hospital room, the smell of antiseptic burning his nose, he felt like he was living in a nightmare he couldnât wake up from. His eyes were locked onto the doctor in front of him, but his mind was elsewhere, still processing what had just been said. The words hung in the air, thick with finality.
âMr. Fushiguro, the test results confirm that youâve inherited a hereditary condition from your father. Itâs genetic and unfortunately, there's no cure.â
The doctorâs voice was calm, clinical, as though she were explaining a minor inconvenience, as though it was him talking to the jury at court. But Fushiguro Megumi heard nothing but the echo of his own heartbeat thundering in his ears.Â
He could barely process the words, the shock still settling in his chest. He hadnât expected this. Heâd always heard whispers about his father, that old man. Megumi didnât care when he left. He still had Tsumiki. And then he had Gojo and thenâŠ..Â
Megumi stops himself. He frowns deeper. He was not having the best of luck in lif. He likes to think he never has. Now, he is haunted and suffers more about this man who left them. He has to come back in the form of this stupid illness.
This stupid illness that would now be killing him slowly and fully. He wants to laugh out loud. Because, this was something else entirely. How cruel fate can be. How much of a comedy it is, how much of a stupid thing it is.
He leaned back in the chair, running a hand through his hair in disbelief. The room seemed to tilt around him, the walls closing in, suffocating him. A laugh threatened to slip from his lips, but it did.
Everything about it wasnât one of humor. It was jagged and bitter, a laugh born of frustration, anger, and the overwhelming sense of betrayal that had simmered in his chest for years.
His blueâgreen gaze didnât leave the doctor, but his eyes darkened towards the doctor. The doctor seemed to be unfazed by his reaction. Megumi felt like he was the same as the doctor when he was at court sometimes. Those cases donât faze him.Â
He had seen it all. And everyone had gotten mad at him at times too. And yet there was only disbelief now. He was on the other side of the aisle now. There was only surprise and then anguish and then bitterness. All of that didnât taste good in his mouth.
âSo, let me get this straight, doctor.â he began, his voice tight, almost controlled, but with an edge of fury beneath it. âMy father, the man who abandoned me and Tsumiki after Mom died, is now showing up in my life, and now Iâm supposed to care that Iâve inherited something from him? Something thatâs going to kill me?â
The doctor faltered for a second, clearly caught off guard by the venom in his voice, but she remained professional. âItâs not quite like that, Mr. Fushiguro. Your father may not have been around, butââ
âNo.â he cut her off, his fist clenching in his lap. âDonât give me that. Donât try to justify him. You think I care about a condition thatâs been passed down through the blood of someone who doesnât even care enough to be there when I need him?âÂ
âMr. Fushiguro, pleaseââ
His laugh returned, sharp and hollow, a bitter sound that didnât belong in a place like this. âI never even wanted to know him. I was better off without him. And now that old man comes back. Oh god, what a fucking mess! What a comedy!â
His mind raced, the thoughts swirling in a chaotic dance of anger and disbelief. His father had left him and Tsumiki in the wake of their motherâs death, promising them nothing but silence. And he was bears with it. He always did. He always knew how to get on with life. Thatâs how he came to be where he is now.Â
But he canât help it. How could he? All that misery he had buried as a child comes back once more. He had thought it would never come back to the earth again. Everything about it was just as good as dead to him.
And yet, fate laughs at him. He laughs at how easy it is to push Megumiâs buttons. And he knew Megumi would react. Fate loved games and he would continue on and on, until he was satisfied.Â
âYou said itâs genetic, right?â he asked suddenly, his voice a little more brittle, the edge of his anger still cutting through the words. âHow long do I have?â
The doctor looked at him with sympathy, but Megumi didnât want sympathy. He didnât want the pity in her eyes. He didnât want any of this.
âIt depends on the progression of the disease.â she answered carefully, giving him the facts. âIt could take years. Maybe even months. We do not know. But knowing some cases Iâve seen, It could be faster. We can try treatments, but we canât reverse the damage already done.â
Megumi closed his blueâgreen eyes for a moment, his chest tightening. The realization hit him with full force: his life, the one he had built, the work, the efforts to stay busy, to keep going. None of it had prepared him for this.Â
None of it had prepared him for the idea that he might not have much time left. How is he going to tell Tsumiki or Gojo? How could he prepare them for this? And to make matters worse, it was a legacy that had come from the very man who had never been there for him in the first place.
His laugh died in his throat, leaving a hollow emptiness in its wake.
âTell me this is some kind of mistake.â he muttered under his breath, as though saying the words would somehow make them untrue.
The doctorâs eyes softened, but she shook her head, handing him a folder with the test results. âIâm afraid itâs not.â
The weight of it all pressed down on him, his mind spinning. He stood abruptly, shoving the folder into his bag without a second glance, his hands trembling slightly. He couldnât stay here. He needed to leave. He needed to get out of this sterile room before it suffocated him any further.
As he walked out of the hospital, the cool air of the evening hit him, but it did little to calm the storm brewing inside him. He couldnât help but wonder about it. What was the point of this? What was the point of surviving a life without a father only to be cursed with his legacy, a legacy that had already been stained with abandonment? What did it all mean?
He didnât have the answers. But one thing was clear. He would never be able to look at his father the same way again. And now, heâd have to face the consequences of that. Whether he liked it or not. One way or another, it was just how it works. Fushiguro Megumi has to see that life goes on. It always has. Even in the face of death.
Yet for a moment, even if he has resigned himself to fate, he stops.Â
He stops for a moment and thinks to himself and that warmth returns.
He wishes that for what remains of life â he wished you were there with him.
Fushiguro Megumi wishes that he could see your smile and live in it again.
âââââââââââââââââââ
HE FOUND HIMSELF DISASSOCIATING FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES. But after news like that, who wouldnât find themselves despondent. Megumi Fushiguro wasnât sure how long heâd been standing in the hospital lobby. Heâd left the doctorâs office a while ago, but his feet felt frozen to the ground, the weight of everything pressing down on him.Â
His thoughts felt scrambled, and all he wanted was to get out of there, away from the sterile white walls, away from the suffocating reality of the diagnosis. The last thing he expected was to run into someone, youâafter all this time.
But there you were, standing at the hospitalâs entrance, your hair a little longer, your eyes just as bright, the warmth of your smile still able to stop his heart dead in its tracks. He hadnât expected it. Not in such a place. And yet here you were. He hadnât expected to see you here, of all places. After all, you took care of yourself well. But there you were, as beautiful and alive as ever.
At first, Megumi wasnât sure what to do. Should he approach you? Should he pretend everything was fine? There was so much that had passed between you, so many years, so much silence.
And he couldnât help but wonder if it was too late for him to fix things. But before he could make any decision, you were already walking toward him, your gaze locking onto his like it always had when you were younger.
âMegumi.â you said softly, almost hesitantly, as though you werenât sure how to say his name anymore.
You were still the same, and yet, you werenât. Your voice was familiar, but the years between you had made things feel⊠off, awkward in a way that he hadnât expected.
âHey.â he said, his voice almost gruff, unsure of how to speak to you after so long.
He took a step back, unsure whether to smile, to say something casual. It was almost like he didnât know who he was around you anymore. The man who used to be able to talk to you about anything had disappeared somewhere along the way.
You smiled, though, and for a brief moment, Megumi felt like he could breathe again. âWhat are you doing here? Donât tell me you're here for a checkup too. You look fine to me.â you teased, and there was that playful spark in your eyes that he had missed.
Megumi shifted, looking around, as though searching for an answer that didnât exist. The truth was, he didnât want to tell you why he was here. Not yet. Not when he had no idea how to explain the mess his life had become.
âIâm just here⊠taking care of some stuff.â he muttered, the lie slipping out before he could stop it. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the tension build again. âYou know, business stuff.â
You raised an eyebrow, a knowing look crossing your face, but instead of pressing him further, you just shrugged. âWell, Iâm not here for anything too serious. Just visiting a friend.â
"Oh, I see."
Your gaze softened as you spoke, the smile on your face softening the more you looked at him. "I didnât expect to see you here. Not after all this time."
Megumi nodded, biting his lip. No kidding, he thought to himself. The years had passed, but he hadnât expected it to feel like this. He hadnât expected to feel so... unsure. He wasnât used to this distance between you two. Not like this.
âWell....â you said, after a pause. You rubbed the back of your neck. âDo you want to grab dinner or something? I donât know about you, but I could really use some decent food after dealing with all this hospital nonsense.â
At first, Megumi hesitated, unsure if he should take the invitation. But something about the ease in your voice, the casual familiarity of it, made him relent. âSure. I guess I could go for something... edible.â he said, trying to joke, but it came out more stiff than he wanted.
You laughed, the sound of it bringing back memories of the good old days when life was simpler and he didnât have to carry the weight of unspoken words between you. You waved him off, but there was something in your eyes, something gentle and patient, like you werenât rushing him to explain himself.
The two of you walked out of the hospital together, falling into step like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was awkward at first, the silence between you hanging heavy, but as you got settled at the restaurant, everything started to fall back into place.
You ordered something light, and Megumi, on autopilot, ordered something simpleâa dish he could eat quickly. The waiter left, and for a moment, the two of you sat in silence, not quite knowing how to bridge the gap that had been there for years.
âSoâŠ..â you began, after a while, trying not to be awkward. âWhy were you at the hospital? Donât tell me you have a broken bone or something.â
Megumiâs eyes flickered over to you, and he was about to brush it off, to avoid answering; like he always did when it came to anything about his past, about his father. He hoped you werenât noticing it. He hoped that you werenât able to see through him again.
But before he could think of a way out, he realized something: you werenât just anyone. You were youâthe person who knew him better than anyone. The person he had lost, the person who had been there for him when everything else fell apart. You had and always will know more about him than anyone else. Even if he doesnât say anything.
He exhaled slowly, and then, without thinking, he shrugged and said, âI guess you could say Iâm getting some bad news.â
You furrowed your brow in concern, and before you could ask, he let out a dry laugh, something hollow that didnât quite reach his eyes. âDonât worry. Itâs not contagious.â
You shook your head, already knowing where this was headed. âMegumi, your jokes are still as bad as they were when we were kids.â You leaned back in your seat with a fond smile, your eyes soft. âYouâre impossible.â
He chuckled under his breath, feeling some of the weight lift off his chest. The familiar rhythm of teasing, of falling back into old patterns, felt surprisingly good. His heart, which had felt heavy and weighed down for so long, was starting to feel lighter with each passing moment.
âYou shouldâve known,â Megumi muttered, trying to hide the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. âIâm the best at bad jokes.â
You laughed again, the sound like music to his ears. âYeah, sure. Whatever you say, Fushiguro.â
For the first time in what felt like forever, he allowed himself to relax a little. Maybe it wouldnât be so hard to fix what had been broken. Maybe, just maybe, he could find his way back to the person who used to be everything to him.
But for now, he would take the little moments like thisâthe laughter, the shared memories, and the warmth of simply being in your presence again. Everything felt like the sun had shone on earth again. Everything felt right like this.
And, for once, he wasnât afraid of what came next.
Fushiguro Megumi sat back in his chair, watching you as you laughed, as you teased him, and it felt like the whole world faded away for a few moments. For the first time in months, his chest didnât feel so tight, his mind didnât feel so heavy.
The hospital, the test results, the news about his father; they all felt like distant memories, like something that could be put on the shelf and forgotten for a while. Because in this moment, right now, the only thing that mattered was you.
He liked this. He liked the way your eyes sparkled when you smiled, the way you still knew how to make him laugh even when everything inside him ached. There was a calmness, a sense of peace, in being around you that he hadnât felt in years.Â
The world around him had become chaotic, unpredictable, but here at this small, unassuming restaurant, sharing a quiet dinner with you. Everything about it, it made him feel⊠warm inside. It felt like coming home, after a long time away from it.
As the conversation flowed easily between you two, Megumi found himself watching the way you moved, the way you spoke, the way you were still you. It was like nothing had changed, like time hadnât passed at all. Except it had.Â
Five years had come and gone, and he had spent most of them buried in work, in his own personal mess of anger and hurt, while you had lived your own life. But now, seeing you here, smiling at him like this, it was like he had been given something precious he hadnât realized heâd lost: you.
And then it hit him. That sharp pang of realization.
He was dying.
In a few months, his life, everything he had worked for, everything he had wanted, would be over. And the one thing he had always wanted, the one thing that had never wavered was sitting right across from him, smiling at him like he was everything.
You, the person he had spent his whole life running from, running toward, the person who had always been there.
And now, here you were again.
His heart skipped a beat as he processed it all. It was all coming at him fast, like a car speeding fast towards him. He doesnât know what to do, how to do it. Everything overwhelmed him. But then again, he thinks heâs always felt like this when it came to you. He canât deny that whatsoever.Â
Everything made him feel like a boy again. All these feelings he canât describe makes him so overwhelmed with what life means. How much he had missed you, how much he still needed you in his life, they all started to make him wonder about it all.Â
The joke, the casual teasing, the familiar warmth between you twoâit was what he wanted. It was what he had always wanted. He had never allowed himself to admit it fully, not back then, not when you were both young and carefree. But now, with the weight of his diagnosis hanging over him like a dark cloud, he couldnât deny it any longer.
It wasnât just that he wanted to be around you. No, it was more than that. He needed to be around you, to feel your presence, your warmth, your love. The idea that he might never get to hold you close again after all this time made his chest tighten in a way he couldnât put into words.
You caught his gaze, your smile faltering just for a moment. âHey, are you okay?â you asked, the concern in your voice immediate and genuine. âYouâve been quiet all of a sudden.â
Megumi blinked, realizing he had zoned out. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. âYeah, sorry. Just⊠thinking.â
You didnât look convinced, but you didnât press. Instead, you took a sip of your drink, then set it down, eyes watching him carefully. âI get that a lot lately,â you said, half-joking, half-serious. âI tend to get lost in my head too.â
He chuckled softly, trying to push away the heaviness that was creeping back into his thoughts. But it was hard. It was hard when every little thing in this moment reminded him of what he was going to lose.
He didnât know how much time he had left. And that thought scared him more than anything. But what scared him even more was the idea of never telling you how he truly felt, never having the chance to fully be with you.
âSo, what about you?â Megumi asked, his voice quieter than before. âHowâs life been? Really, how are you?â
You blinked at him, clearly taken aback by the change in tone. âYou know, same as usual. Gallery events, late nights at the studio⊠You know, the usual chaos,â you said with a small smile. But then, you tilted your head. âAnd you? Youâve been working so much, Megumi. Youâve been pushing yourself.â
He nodded slowly. âYeah, I have,â he admitted. âItâs just⊠itâs easier, you know? To bury myself in work rather than deal with whatâs going on in my head.â
There it was. The truth, just slipping out. His chest tightened again, the weight of everything catching up to him. You watched him with soft eyes, but you didnât say anything. You just waited, patiently, for him to continue.
âI thinkâŠâ He hesitated, unsure of how to say it, unsure if he even had the right to say it now. But his heart was screaming at him to be honest, to be real with you. âI think Iâve been afraid for a long time. Afraid of how I feel about you. I never said it before⊠but I think Iâve always loved you, even when I couldnât show it.â
Your eyes softened, your lips parted in surprise, but no words came out. Megumi could feel his heart pounding in his chest as the silence stretched on.
âIâve always loved you, you know?â he repeated, the words stronger this time. âAnd⊠I know itâs late. I know itâs probably too late, but I want you to know. I want you to know that I needed you. That I want to spend whatever time I have left with you. Whatever time I can get.â
His voice faltered as the confession hung in the air, and the weight of it felt almost unbearable. But then, slowly, you reached across the table, your hand gently landing on his.
âI never stopped loving you either, Megumi. I hope you know that.â you said softly, your voice thick with emotion. âIâve missed you. Iâve missed this. Iâve missed us.â
The words hit him like a wave, and for a brief moment, he felt like he could breathe again. Like everything wasnât falling apart. Maybe, just maybe, the time that was slipping away didnât matter as long as he could be with you in these final months, these final moments. He looked at you, the warmth of your hand in his, and a fragile smile tugged at his lips.
âThen letâs make the most of it.â he whispered. âEven if we start out again and be friends first. Iâd love to make the most of it.â
You smiled at him warmly in response. âIâd like that too.â
And for the first time in what felt like forever, he wasnât afraid anymore. He didnât have all the answers. He didnât have the time he wanted. But in that moment, as you sat across from him, the love of his life, he felt at peace.
And perhaps, maybe, just maybe â that was enough.
Maybe, this was all he needed in life.
His life was going to be defined by loving you.
âââââââââââââââââââ
BEING SENTIMENTAL, IT WASNâT WHAT HE WAS GOOD AT. He knew too well what this will be in the end. He knew that it was going to hurt you both, that it was going to hurt him most. It wasnât the best idea, you knew that.
Letting Fushiguro Megumi back into your life after everything that had happened, after all the years apartâit wasnât exactly the most rational choice. Youâd spent so long building your own life, carving out your space in the world, and now, just as youâd begun to find your rhythm again, life threw you a curveball you never saw coming.
The diagnosis.
Dementia. A rare form. And to make matters worse, it was hitting you far too early before youâd even reached thirty-five. The doctors had explained it all in somber tones, but the truth was, none of it really sunk in at first.
It was a shock, a blow you werenât sure how to handle. The thought that, in just a few years, you might forget everything, the art you created, the people you loved, the moments that had shaped your life, was downright terrifying.
And yet, here you were, staring at your phone screen with Megumiâs name blinking back at you. Heâd reached out. You hadnât heard from him in so long. The last time you saw him, things were⊠complicated. So many years spent apart, so many unspoken words, and yet, when you saw his name, your heart skipped a beat.
You thought it might have been fate. Or maybe just a desperate wish. The idea that you had a shot at all was one in a million. In this small window of time, before it all slipped awayâ to make some memories. To live whatever life you could, before the inevitable began to take hold. You wondered how that could be.
So you called him back. And when he answered, the voice on the other end was familiar and steady, just like you remembered.
âYou really want to see me?â he asked, the surprise evident in his voice. âItâs been a while.â
You smiled softly, your fingers curling around the phone. âI do. I want to see you, Megumi. I need to. Iââ You paused, unsure how to explain it. How could you? âI just want to make some memories.â
There was a long silence before he spoke again, and when he did, his tone was gentler. âOkay. Letâs make some memories then. How about we go to the aquarium? I know itâs random, but⊠I thought it might be fun.â
You felt a small laugh escape your lips at the thought of it. MegumiâŠYour Megumi. He was always so serious, always so reserved, ever so practical â but somehow, a trip to the aquarium seemed like just the thing you needed.
He was keeping you afloat, keeping you alive, wanting to do things. Wanting to make life interesting, even with that orderly fashion of his. It makes you warm inside. It always has. It always will.
âThat sounds perfect.â you said, the words coming out easily, almost relieved.
And so, there you were, standing in front of the entrance to the aquarium, waiting for him. Your heart was a little heavier than before, the weight of the diagnosis still there in the back of your mind. But in this moment, with Megumi on his way, you felt something else: a little spark of hope. A little spark of life.
You caught sight of him as he rounded the corner, looking just as you remembered, though maybe a little older, a little worn around the edges. His eyes were still the same, dark and intense, but there was something softer about him now, something that made your heart ache.
âHey,â he said, a faint smile on his lips. âLong time no see.â
You smiled back, the weight of the years between you almost forgotten. "Yeah. Itâs been too long."
He tilted his head, studying you for a moment, his gaze lingering just a little too long, as though he could tell something was different. You didnât have to say it out loud. He could read you like a book. He always has. You donât think heâll stop now. You hope he wouldnât. You smiled at him.
âIâm glad you called.â he said softly, as if unsure of how to proceed, but that familiar warmth in his voice was still there. It had never really gone away, had it?
"Me too." you replied, and for the first time in a long while, you meant it. "I needed this."
Megumi nodded, and the two of you walked into the aquarium together, the world around you a blur of soft lights and flowing water. The sound of distant laughter and the rhythmic swoosh of fish in tanks filled the air, but all you could hear was his voice, the way it brought comfort, the way it made you feel like maybe you werenât alone in this after all.
You pointed out the exhibits as you wandered through the aquarium, asking him what he thought of the colorful fish or the playful otters, though truthfully, your mind wasnât always on the sea creatures. You couldnât help but glance at him, at the way he reacted to everything, his quiet smile, his dry humor. It felt so familiar. So right.
âRemember when we came here when we were younger?â you asked, your voice soft. âWe didnât know anything about what we were doing, just wandered around aimlessly.â
Megumi chuckled, though it sounded bittersweet. âI think I spent most of the time trying to keep you from getting too close to the sharks.â
You laughed, the sound light and free, just like it used to be when you were younger. "You always were protective."
He didnât respond to that, but the way he looked at you said it all. You both knew. You both remembered the connection you had once shared. And now, as you stood together, surrounded by glass tanks and exotic sea life, it felt like maybe, just maybe, things werenât as broken as they seemed.
Megumi turned to you after a while, his blue â green eyes searching yours, as though considering whether to say something, something important. Sometimes Megumi gets like this.
He tries to do well when figuring out what to say, how to say them. To avoid misunderstanding. To be clear. And yet in that moment, he seemed like he already had those words. But he doesnât want to bring it up. At least not yet.
âDo you⊠do you remember what you used to tell me?â he asked, his voice hesitant. âWhen we were kids, you said you wanted to live life fully. You didnât want to waste a single second.â
You blinked, caught off guard by the question. It took a moment for you to recall those words, but when you did, a small laugh escaped your lips. âI did say that, didnât I?â
âYou still want that, right?â Megumiâs gaze was steady, unwavering.
You paused, your heart skipping a beat. There was no need to speak the truth aloudâit was clear. Even with everything you had to face, you still wanted to live, even if it was just a little longer, even if it meant creating new memories, even if it was messy and imperfect.
âYeah,â you whispered. âI do.â
And with that simple admission, Megumi smiled, a smile that reached his eyes, a little brighter than before. He didnât ask you what was coming next, or how much time you had left, or any of the things you had to worry about in the back of your mind. He just stood there, by your side, ready to make the most of the time you had left.
And in that moment, you realized something else tooâmaybe it wasnât the best idea to let him back in, but it felt like fate. Fate had given you a chance, and you werenât going to waste it.
Not now. Not ever again.
As you and Megumi wandered through the aquarium, the world outside seemed to fade away. There was something peaceful about the soft glow of the tanks, the gentle movement of the sea creatures, and the quiet way you and Megumi existed in each otherâs space. The sounds of the outside world, the murmur of people and the occasional squeal of children, felt far away, like they were part of a distant dream.
Megumi leaned closer to one of the tanks, his eyes following the delicate movements of a seahorse. You caught yourself watching him more than you watched the creatures inside the glass, his expression thoughtful, like he was lost in the quiet beauty of it all.Â
His features softened in a way that made your heart flutter. It wasnât just his looks, thoughâit was the way he was. The way he had always been there for you, even when life pulls you in different directions. Everything about him makes you orbit around him, like he was your earth and you were his moon. He kept you balanced. And you like it. You always have.
âHey, Megumi.â you said, nudging him lightly. âYouâve gone quiet. Do you still hate fish?â
He looked over at you, raising an eyebrow in that familiar, teasing way. âNot the fish, just... I canât believe youâve dragged me here, of all places.â But his words held no real malice. There was warmth there, a soft playfulness that made you smile.
âAdmit it already.â you teased him. âYou like it. You just donât want to admit it.â
Megumi snorted, and you saw the corner of his mouth twitch. "Maybe I do. But donât go getting any ideas. Iâm not a seafood enthusiast yet."
You grinned, poking him in the ribs. âIâll take what I can get.â
You both wandered deeper into the exhibit, laughing at the odd little creatures, pointing out your favorites, and making light-hearted jokes. At one point, you found yourselves standing before a tank of jellyfish, their long, flowing tentacles creating a mesmerizing dance in the water. You both watched in silence, the gentle sway of the jellyfish almost hypnotic.
âThis is kind of like us, isnât it?â you asked, turning to Megumi, your voice quieter now. âJust... floating along, not really knowing where weâre going, but just kind of going with it?â
Megumi looked over at you, a slow smile spreading across his face. âYeah. Maybe it is.â he murmured, his voice soft and a little more serious than usual. âBut, you know, I donât mind floating along with you.â
You felt your heart swell at his words, and without thinking, you reached for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. His hand wrapped around yours almost instinctively, and in that moment, it felt so right. So simple. So perfect.
"You're really good at this." you whispered, giving his hand another squeeze. "At making things feel easy."
Megumiâs fingers tightened around yours, and he turned his head slightly, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. âI think youâve always made it easy, you know?â he said quietly.
You both stood there for a while, hand in hand, watching the jellyfish move. Time seemed to slow down as you both took in the moment, each of you content in the otherâs presence. The world around you felt like it had paused, just for a little while, just for the two of you to exist together.
As the day began to wind down and the aquarium started to empty out, Megumi pulled you closer, his arm lightly draped around your shoulder, a natural, easy gesture.
You leaned into him, grateful for his warmth, his presence, the way he made you feel like everything would be okay. You knew it was, even when you werenât sure about anything. As long as you have Fushiguro Megumi, life will turn out alright. It always has. It always will.
âThanks for today, Megumi.â you said softly, your voice full of meaning. "I needed this."
Megumi glanced down at you, a small smile on his lips. âIâm glad. I needed it too.â
As you made your way to the exit, you felt lighter. The weight of your diagnosis, the fear of what was to come, was still there in the back of your mindâbut in this moment, with Megumi by your side, everything else seemed distant. The future, no matter how uncertain, didnât feel so scary anymore.
You both stepped out into the evening air, the cool breeze brushing past your faces. The city lights were just beginning to flicker on in the distance, and the streets felt full of life.
You glanced over at Megumi, his expression soft, content. The night was still young, and for the first time in a long while, you felt like you were living in the moment, not worrying about what was to come.
âYou knowâŠâŠâ you said, a playful smile tugging at your lips. âMaybe we should do this again sometime.â
Megumi raised an eyebrow. âWhat, go to an aquarium?â
You grinned, nudging him playfully. âWhy not? You never know, next time we might get to see the dolphins.â
He rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face was unmistakable. âYou and your love for sea animals,â he teased.
âIâm serious!â you said with a laugh. âBut next time, maybe youâll actually like it more.â
âMaybe,â he said with a chuckle. "Just maybe."
As you walked side by side, the cool evening air wrapping around you, your thoughts wandered again to the future, the future that was becoming a little more uncertain with each passing day. But then you looked at Megumi again, at the soft smile on his face, and for a moment, it didnât matter. For now, everything was perfect.
And in that perfect moment, you realized: thisâhimâwas what you wanted. Not just tonight, not just this moment, but forever. Or at least, as long as you could have it. You didnât know how much time you had left, but in this instant, you were going to savor every second of it.
You glanced up at Megumi, squeezing his hand gently as you whispered, âI want this to last forever.â
Megumi squeezed your hand back, his voice steady and warm. âI do too.â
But you knew, you knew too well, as he did.
Nothing on this earth was bound to last forever.
âââââââââââââââââââ
HE DIDNâT EXPECT HOW THIS WAS GOING TO END. But then again, you too didnât expect it. Everything was unpredictable. But he expected this to happen. Even if he didnât want it to. That was just his fate. The pain had been creeping up on him more and more, gnawing at his insides like a constant reminder that his time was running out.Â
Every movement, every step, felt like a battle. His body wasnât his own anymore, and no matter how much he tried to push through it, the heaviness of his condition weighed on him more than he cared to admit. Everything was miserable, and he hated it. He hated how this was happening.
But there was something, someone, that made it all seem bearable. You. The thought of you kept him going, even when his body felt like it was betraying him. At the time when everything was starting to know its place, to fit perfectly. Right time, right place, right person. And yet, this had come to pass. He was sick. Beyond fixing.Â
Yet Megumi was certain that he was going to fight it. For as long as he can still do it. For as long as he had the strength to. He still wanted more time with you. More chances to make up for those five years. But he knew that it was getting harder. He didnât want you to see how bad it was getting.Â
Sometimes he canât even move himself. Sometimes he felt like he was going to throw up everything he ate. Sometimes he feels like he was going to pass out. But he doesnât want to give up just yet.
He canât. It wasnât time, not just yet. He still needs to live. No matter how painful it all gets. He wants to live. He wasnât giving up. Not when he still wanted to be there for you. Not when he still wanted to make you smile.
And he wanted to prove that. He always wants to prove that. That he was strong enough. That he can still stay here. That he can still take care of you. Tonight was one of those nights. It was already late when he got your call. But he didnât care about the time. He had to go there for you.Â
He rushed out with his meager winter coat and rushed over there. The sound of your voice was filled with frustration and a little bit of panic, and that was enough to get him moving immediately. It kept ringing in his head, the tone of your voice. He doesnât think he had ever heard that voice from you before.Â
All the way there, he thought more about your frustration and your panic more than his own pain. He didnât even think about how exhausted he was or how much his body ached. You were what mattered to him at this moment. Nothing else. You mattered more to him. He was always going to put your first, especially now.Â
When he arrived at your apartment, he found you standing by the door, frowning and rifling through your bag. Your face lit up with a mix of relief and embarrassment when you saw him. He took a moment to breathe before greeting you.Â
âMegumi, Iâm so sorry.â you said, wiping a hand over your face. âI canât find my keys. Iâve looked everywhere. IâI think Iâve lost them.â
The distress in your voice was enough to make his heart tighten. He immediately stepped toward you, trying to hide the wince that flickered across his face as he reached for the door handle.Â
âItâs okay, hm?â he said softly, his voice steady, even if the pain inside was threatening to make it crack. âWeâll figure it out. Donât worry.â
He tried to ignore the way his legs ached as he crouched down to check the bottom of the doormat, his hand shaking slightly as he pushed it aside, looking for any sign of the missing keys. You stood beside him, still fretting, your hands wringing together.
âIâm sorry, Megumi. I donât want to be a burden to you.â you murmured, your voice trembling.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he stood up again. âYouâre not a burden. You never have been.â He reached out, gently wiping the tears that had started to fall down your cheek. "Iâm happy to help."
Iâm happy to be needed. He thinks to himself, looking at you. Iâm happy to be wanted by you.
Your breath hitched, your heart racing from the warmth of his touch. You didnât understand how he could be so calm and collected when you felt like you were falling apart. But then again, it was just like him to make sure you were okay, even if it meant putting aside his own pain.
âIâm so sorry, again.â you said again, this time more softly. âI shouldnât have let this get to me.â
Megumi just shook his head. âHey, itâs okay. We all have our moments. Itâs normal to get frustrated. Iâll help you find them, I promise.â
He glanced around for a moment, and then his gaze softened as he met your eyes. For a brief second, the weight of his own pain seemed to vanish, replaced by the quiet, soothing comfort of being close to you. The way you looked at him like he was the one thing that made sense in the chaos made everything feel a little easier.
âLetâs check inside your bag again.â he suggested gently. He took the bag from you, unzipping it with a practiced hand. As he rummaged through it, you watched him carefully, your anxiety easing just a little from the reassurance in his tone.
And then, as if by magic, he pulled out the keys from the deepest pocket of your bag. He held them up with a small, triumphant smile.
âFound them, dummy.â he said, and the relief in his voice made your heart swell.
You let out a shaky laugh, tears still lingering in your eyes, but a smile now tugging at your lips. âIâm so hopeless sometimes.â
Megumiâs smile widened, his eyes softening. âDonât say that. Youâre not hopeless. You just had a moment.â
His hand brushed against yours as he handed you the keys, and for a second, it felt like everything was perfect. Just you, him, the simple act of being together in the quiet, unspoken moments.
You met his gaze, feeling a lump form in your throat. âThank you, Megumi. For everything.â
His bright blueâgreen orbs could only soften even more, and for the briefest moment, you could see the quiet ache in them, but it wasnât pain. No, it was something else, something deeper. Something more beautiful, something more true. Everything about him felt so genuine. More than ever before.
âYou donât have to thank me. Iâm just happy Iâm here with you.â
And for that moment, in that small, shared space, it felt like nothing else mattered. The world outside could have been crumbling, but in his presence, you felt a quiet sense of peace you hadnât known in a long time.
Megumi gave you one last, reassuring smile, wiping away the last of your tears, and then offered his arm to you as he moved to open the door for you. You stepped inside, the cool air of the apartment a small comfort after the small storm of emotions. Megumi was right. Everything would be fine.Â
At least, for now, it was. You could forget about the worries of tomorrow and just be in the moment. As he followed you inside, a part of you couldnât help but think how much longer you wanted this moment by your side. How you wished you could hold onto these moments forever.
The evening had grown colder, but the light snowfall made everything feel magical, like a scene out of a dream. You and Megumi had just finished your little excursion to find the perfect hotpot place, and as you sat at a cozy table by the window, the snowflakes drifted lazily outside.Â
The warmth of the restaurant was a nice contrast to the chilly air, and you couldnât help but feel a sense of peace wash over you. Everything about tonight was what would make winter feel the want to enjoy being alive, being warm in the cold breeze of its existence.
You pulled your phone from your bag, feeling the impulse to capture the moment. You glanced up at Megumi, who was poking at his bowl, looking surprisingly content for someone who usually seemed to prefer avoiding anything too flashy.Â
His serious demeanor had softened, and his usual guarded expression was replaced with a rare sense of comfort. With a smile, you snapped a quick picture of him. Megumi looked up, startled by the sound of your camera clicking.
âHey, no pictures, you dummy.â he protested, though his tone wasnât harsh. He reached for the camera, but you pulled it away quickly, holding it to your chest with a grin.
âWhy not? You look cute, you know?â you teased, winking playfully at him.
He rolled his eyes but couldnât hide the small smile tugging at his lips. âYou always say that. Why do you take so many pictures anyway?â
You leaned back in your seat, your fingers tracing the rim of your glass as you thought for a moment. âI donât know. I guess⊠I just want to remember things. The little moments that matter. You never know when theyâll be gone, so I figure I should capture the ones that make me happy.â
Megumiâs eyes softened, and he gave a quiet nod, his gaze thoughtful. âIâm glad you do that. Youâve always had a way of making ordinary moments feel... special.â
Your heart swelled at his words, and you couldnât help but smile back at him. âIâm glad youâre here to make them feel special too.â
The rest of the meal passed in a comfortable silence, filled with small chatter and the occasional clink of chopsticks. You felt more at ease than you had in a long time, the weight of the world outside the restaurant seemingly lifted.
Once dinner was over, you both left the warm comfort of the restaurant, stepping into the crisp winter night. The air was fresh and sharp, and the snow had started to fall heavier, painting the streets in a blanket of white. You couldnât help but smile as you looked up at the sky, the snowflakes drifting down like confetti.
You walked ahead a few steps, enjoying the peaceful quiet of the night, when you suddenly realized that Megumi wasnât next to you. Turning around, you saw him standing still, almost frozen in place, his posture slumped in an uncharacteristic way. You paused, confused, until you saw him sway slightly before collapsing onto the snow-covered pavement with a soft thud.
Your heart stopped.
âMegumi!â You rushed over to him in a panic, your breath catching in your throat as you knelt beside him. His face was pale, and his body was limp in the snow, the cold seeping through his clothes.
You gently shook his shoulder, your voice shaking as you called his name again. âMegumi! Hey, wake up, pleaseâŠâ
His eyelids fluttered, but he didnât stir. You were beyond scared now. His condition had been worsening for a while, but seeing him like this made your entire world feel like it was crashing down around you. You could feel your heart beating, faster than it ever has. You had never felt such fright in your entire life.
âMegumi, stay with me, please. Please, oh my godâsomeone help! Please!â you say, your voice breaking as you hovered over him, panic rising in your chest.Â
You couldnât lose him. Not like this. Warm tears were starting to fall from your eyes, contrasting the cold. Everything about this moment felt like you were losing to fate.
You hated this feeling. You hated this helplessness. You hated the thought of losing the love of your life. Everything about this was cruel. And that had just made you cry even more.Â
You take a breath, calming yourself, as you quickly pull your phone from your pocket, dialing the emergency number, your hands trembling as you explained the situation to the operator.
You try to check on him, trying to get him to wake up. Tears still pouring endlessly, like raindrops in the winter hale. The minutes stretched on, every second feeling like an eternity.
Megumi stirred slightly, his eyes opening just enough for him to give you a half-smile, his voice weak but still trying to reassure you, even though he clearly wasnât fully conscious. You gasped, trying to explain to the operator that he woke up. But he immediately cuts you off, his hand on your own. He weakly squeezes it.
âDonât... donât worry about me.â he mumbled, his voice barely audible through the cold air. âIâm... fine.â
You shook your head, your tears threatening to spill as you grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. âNo, youâre not! Youâre not fine, Megumi. Youâre really not fine.â
âHey, youâŠyou dummy.â he said, his words slurring slightly. âYou... should smile. You... should still... take pictures.â
You shook your head again, laughing through the tears that had started to fall. âI donât care about pictures, Megumi. I just care about you.â
His eyes fluttered closed again, but he seemed comforted by your words, the faintest hint of a smile still on his lips. You kept holding his hand, never letting go, until the sound of the ambulance arrived in the distance. You didnât want to, you never wanted to leave. Not him. But you could only pray that heâs just as resolved not to leave you too.
After all, how could you live without him?
âââââââââââââââââââ
YOU HATED THE SMELL OF HOSPITALS. You donât like the smell of death, the smell of grief. The smell of suffering all at once gathered through the halls. You were aware just as much that Megumi doesnât like hospitals either. Heâd always hated it as much as you. Even just doing checkâups made him upset. But there was no other choice. He has to live.
This was the only way to keep him alive. This was the only way he wouldnât leave you. You'd rather he spend the rest of his life hating the smell of this one moment than let him die. You'd do anything to have him for what time is left.
The cold hospital lights buzzed above you as you sat next to Megumiâs bed, your fingers clutching his hand so tightly it almost hurt. His body was hooked up to various machines, the soft, rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor the only sound that filled the sterile room. You couldnât tear your eyes away from him, the sight of him lying there, pale and fragile, making your chest tighten with every passing second.
The ambulance ride had been a blur of frantic moments, the flashing lights reflecting off the cold pavement as you gripped Megumiâs hand, trying to keep him awake, trying to keep him here with you. But he slipped in and out of consciousness, each time his body growing weaker, his breath shallower.
When you arrived at the hospital, the doctors didnât waste any time. They immediately ran tests and checked his vitals, and within what felt like an eternity, they informed you of the worst news you could have imagined.
You felt like you were going to lose it when you finally heard all of it in detail. You didnât want to hear more of it. But you had no choice. You needed to know. You needed to know so you could understand.Â
Fushiguro Megumi had been battling a terminal illness, something that had been eating away at him for months, maybe even longer and he had never told you. They told you about his rare, degenerative condition, how it had been causing him excruciating pain, and how little time he had left.Â
You didnât even know how to process it. There was no true way to process it. He was dying. And you just got him back. You were going to lose him, just when you had him back. And that made you feel like you were dying too. Because how? How does one not go mad with it already?Â
You wanted to scream, to yell at the world for being so unfair. But instead, you sat there, numb, tears streaming down your face, your hands trembling as you held onto Megumi like he was the only thing keeping you grounded. Why didnât he tell you? Why had he tried to carry all of this on his own?
And yet, there was a part of you that knew exactly why. It was just like him. Megumi, ever the stoic, ever the quiet one, always putting others before himself, always bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders without ever asking for help.
The sound of his voice broke through the haze of your thoughts. It was weak at first, a soft murmur, but it was unmistakable.
âHey⊠stop cryingâŠ..you dummy.â
You froze, looking down at him as his eyelids fluttered open, revealing the familiar dark eyes you had always loved. They were dull now, tired, but there was still that softness in them. That quiet strength that had always drawn you to him.
You shook your head, fresh tears spilling from your eyes. âMegumi, please, IâI canâtâŠâ Your voice cracked as the words caught in your throat. âI canât lose you. I canât.â
His hand weakly squeezed yours, his grip not as strong as it used to be, but the touch still sent a wave of warmth through your chest. He shifted slightly in the bed, his brows furrowing as if trying to find the strength to sit up, but his body betrayed him, and he sank back into the pillow, wincing in pain.
âDonât cry over me. Enough.â he whispered, his voice low and strained. âIâm... Iâm not worth it.â
You let out a small sob, your head dropping to the edge of his bed as you tried to compose yourself, though the tears kept coming. âMegumi, you are. You are worth it. You always have been.â
He turned his head slightly toward you, his eyes still clouded with exhaustion, but there was something softer there, something almost apologetic. You hated that look on his face. Because there was nothing to apologize about. Not even once. All you wanted to do was take care of him. All you wanted to do was keep him safe.
âIâve been so... selfish, havenât I?â His voice was barely audible, the words coming out in a rasp, but you heard them clearly. âI didnât want to worry you. I didnât want to burden you with this...â
âYou never burdened me, Megumi. You should know that.â you whispered, your fingers brushing against his. âYou never were a burden. I wouldâve done anything for you...â
He let out a quiet sigh, the corners of his lips twitching up in the faintest smile. It wasnât much, but it was enough to make your heart ache even more. He looked so resigned to his fate, to all of this pain. And you didnât like it. He shouldnât be here. He shouldnât be in pain. He shouldnât be content. Not when you just got back together.
âI know, I know.â he murmured, his voice so weak now that it was almost lost in the hum of the machines around you. âI know you wouldâve.â
You swallowed hard, trying to steady your breath, but it was difficult with the weight of everything pressing down on you. âYou donât have to be strong for me anymore, Megumi.â you whispered, the words barely escaping. âItâs okay to let me help you. Please donât push me away. I canât lose you like this.â
His eyes closed again, and for a moment, you thought he might have fallen asleep again, but his voice broke through the silence, softer now, as if he were speaking to himself as much as to you. It was such a low voice, so weary and exhausted. You didnât like seeing him like this. So beaten by something he canât control.
âMaybe... maybe I shouldâve let you in sooner. I was afraid. Afraid of what would happen if I told you everything.â
You gently cupped his face with your hand, wiping away the tears that still fell freely. âYou donât have to apologize for any of it. I just wish Iâd known. I wish I couldâve helped sooner.â
Megumiâs lips parted, but his breath hitched in a shallow cough before he could say anything more. His hand gripped yours again, and this time, he managed a little more pressure, just enough to make you feel the sincerity in his touch.
âIâm glad youâre here, you know?â he whispered softly. âI donât have much time left... but Iâm glad I have you now.â
Your heart shattered at those words, but at the same time, you held onto them, clinging to the fragile thread of time that remained between you. You leaned over and kissed his forehead softly, your heart aching with the knowledge that you didnât know how much time you had left with him, but you were going to make the most of every precious second.
âIâm here, Megumi. Always.â you whispered. âIâm here. And Iâm not going anywhere.â
Days blended together as the winter months stretched on. The world outside seemed to freeze, as if mirroring the heaviness in your heart. Snowflakes continued to fall softly outside the hospital windows, blanketing the world in quiet white, but inside, it felt like the world was slowly slipping away.
You didnât let yourself dwell on the inevitable. You couldnât. Every time you looked at Megumi, you saw the man you loved, the man who had always been there for you, even when you hadnât known you needed him. You stayed by his side every day, holding his hand, speaking to him, telling him about everything you hoped for.Â
About how the world was still turning outside, how you wanted to keep making memories, even if it felt impossible. You even began taking photos again. Photos of him. You didnât know how much time you had left, but you were going to capture every moment, every smile, every soft word between you.
It wasnât easy. Some days, you couldnât remember where youâd put your keys, or where your phone was. Little things, fading memories, were slipping through your grasp, like water running through your fingers. But what stayed, what never fadedâwas how deeply you loved him. How every moment you shared with Megumi had become a treasure in your heart.
It was late one afternoon, the sky already darkening as the cold winds howled outside, when you sat next to him again in his hospital room. The soft beeping of the heart monitor was almost rhythmic now, and the other sounds of the machines had become a steady background hum.
You watched him sleep, his chest rising and falling with the shallow breath of someone who had fought so long to stay with you. You had asked the doctors, of course, but they had never promised anything. They always do that. They say, they can only do their best. Promises are the hardest, especially when it comes to peopleâs lives.Â
You ran your fingers over his hand, brushing against the cool skin that had once been warm, but you didnât mind. It was still him. Still the Megumi you knew, the Megumi you had spent years beside, growing together, building a life together. Even if that life had been cut short, you would never stop cherishing it.
You whispered softly to him, hoping he could hear, even as he drifted in and out of sleep. âMegumi... I love you. And Iâm never going to forget that. No matter what happens, Iâll remember this. Iâll remember you.â
For a long while, there was silenceâjust the sound of the wind outside and the soft hum of the hospital machines. You thought about the future, or rather, the lack of one that youâd once planned.
The future you had dreamed of with him, one where you could grow old together, laughing at silly jokes, holding hands as you walked through life. But the truth of the situation lingered in the air, thick and undeniable.
And then, just as you were about to close your eyes for a momentâs rest, Megumiâs voice broke the stillness, faint and barely audible.
âHey...â he said, his voice raspy, but full of that familiar warmth.
You sat up straight, your eyes immediately focusing on him. He was awake, just barely, his eyes blinking slowly in the dim light. A small, tired smile tugged at his lips. He looked so exhausted.
As though he doesnât have any energy left to live. You hated that, you hated that smile too. You canât help it. It made you aware how fragile everything is. How fragile life is. How you were far too near to losing him.Â
âYou... youâre awake?â you whispered, leaning closer, your heart pounding with hope.
He nodded slightly, though the movement seemed to take a lot of effort. âIâm here,â he murmured. âIâm... sorry.â
âSorry for what?â you said, a smile slipping onto your face, even though your eyes were still damp. âYou donât have to apologize for anything, Megumi. Iâm just... glad youâre here. Iâm glad youâre with me.â
His eyes softened as he looked up at you, his lips parting slightly as he struggled for the words. âIâve always... wanted you to be happy. Even now, I... I want you to be happy.â
Your heart clenched, and you leaned down, your forehead resting gently against his. âI am happy. Because Iâm with you. I have been, and I always will be.â
Megumi smiled again, his hand weakly squeezing yours. His smile was small, but it meant everything to you. The most precious thing in the world. You would carry that smile with you, even if the days grew darker, even if the cold winds of winter began to steal more from you.
In that moment, you made a promise to him in your heart. You promised that, no matter what, you would keep loving him. Even if you forgot everything else, you would never forget the love you shared. You would never forget him.
The room felt colder than it ever had before, despite the soft hum of the heaters and the warmth of the blankets wrapped around Megumi. You sat there beside him, holding his hand, feeling his pulse slowly fading.
The soft beeping of the heart monitor had become slower, more erratic. Your eyes were fixed on him, waiting, hoping for some miracle that you knew would never come.
The doctors had already said it to you, clearly. His time was up. There were no more treatments, no more hopes left to cling to. The harsh reality of it all was suffocating, but you didnât want to let go. You couldnât. Not when he had been your everything for so long.
You leaned down closer to him, brushing his bangs out of his face, memorizing the way his features were so familiar, the way his eyes had always held that quiet strength. You whispered to him softly, your voice shaky, as tears slid down your cheeks.Â
"Megumi... please, please stay with me. I love you so much."
His breath was shallow now, ragged. But he turned his head toward you ever so slightly, just enough to meet your gaze, his dark eyes still holding a glimmer of something.
Even in the face of his end, there was a calmness in him, a peace that you couldnât quite grasp. And you wondered, not for the first time, if he had known all along that this was the way things would end.
He barely opened his mouth, but his voice was soft and full of the kind of warmth that youâd come to treasure, the kind of warmth that had always been his, even when he was hurting.
"I'm glad that you were my final view, you dummyâŠ..my love." he said, his voice so quiet, so weak, but full of meaning. "I'm glad that you were my beginning... and my end."
Your heart shattered at the words, but you swallowed back your sobs, trying to stay strong for him. He had always been strong for you, even when he didnât have to be. And now, it was your turn to be strong for him.
"I love you, so so much." he whispered, the words barely audible but carrying more weight than anything else he could have said. His hand tightened around yours, just for a moment, but it was enough to make your heart soar and break all at once.
You pressed your forehead to his, your tears falling freely now, each drop a painful reminder that time had run out. You wanted to cry out loud. You wanted him to wake up. You wanted him to come back. But you know he won't. He won't ever come back.
"I love you." you whispered back, over and over again, as if saying it would somehow make the pain of losing him easier. "I love you... I love you... I love you."
But there was no answer. No more words. His chest rose and fell one last time, and then it stilled. The beep of the heart monitor flatlines, and with it, the world around you seems to collapse in on itself.
He was gone.
You stayed there, for what felt like an eternity, unable to tear yourself away from his side. You couldnât bring yourself to let go of his hand, even though you knew he was no longer there to hold it. The warmth of his skin was already starting to fade, but you still clung to it, as though holding on to him would keep him with you forever.
The quiet in the room was deafening, a silence so deep it threatened to swallow you whole. You closed your eyes, trying to push away the overwhelming sorrow that threatened to drown you. But in the quiet, you could still hear his voice, still feel the warmth of his love in your chest.
I love you, he had said. And that was all that mattered now. That was all you could hold onto.
The nurses came in, gently moving you aside, but you didnât care. They tried to comfort you, to tell you everything would be okay, but nothing would ever be okay again. You had lost the person you loved most in the world, and no one could take that pain away.
Hours passed. Or was it days? You couldnât remember anymore. The world outside continued to turn, the snow continuing to fall, but all you could think about was him. Megumi. Your Megumi.
The man you loved with every part of you. The man who had been your best friend, your lover, your everything. And now he was gone, and you were left with nothing but the aching emptiness of his absence.
You didnât leave the hospital that night. You stayed there, next to him, holding his hand, telling him you loved him over and over. You didnât know if he could hear you. You didnât know if it mattered.
You just needed him to know. He had been the love of your life, and you would carry that love with you forever. No matter how much time had passed, no matter how much youâd forget, you would never forget him.
The days that followed were a blur of sadness and quiet moments of reflection. The funeral. The family. The friends who came and went, offering their condolences, their words of sympathy. But none of it mattered. Not without him.
Winter gave way to spring, the snow melting and the world coming back to life, but you felt like you were still stuck in the cold. The world had moved on, but you were stuck in that one moment, in that one room, with Megumi.
It was as if time had frozen the moment he left, and you couldnât break free from it.
But still, you held on to him. You held on to the love he had given you, the smile he had worn for you, and the life you had shared together. Because that was all you had left.
And no matter how much the world tried to take it away from you, you would never forget him.
You will never forget Megumi.
âââââââââââââââââââ
SOME DAYS ARE EASIER THAN OTHERS, YOU NURSES THINK. But today was not one of those days. Somehow, the days seemed to slip away like water through your fingers, and the world around you grew hazier with each passing moment.
You didnât know the date, the year, or even your own name anymore. Sometimes, when the nurses spoke to you, youâd hear their voices and understand their words, but the world beyond that seemed so far away.
But there was one thing you could never forget. No matter how much time passed or how much your memory faded, there was always him.
His face, his eyes. Those blue-green eyes that shone with a warmth that made your heart flutter even now. They felt so familiar and yet you couldnât remember who they belonged to. Who this man was. And yet, you always felt at ease when you painted him. You always felt like life was beautiful, when he stared back at you.
It didnât matter if you couldnât remember all of it. How youâll repeatedly ask what you did and who you met. Or what you were thinking about and or what you wanted to eat. That didnât matter. All you knew was that whenever you had a brush in your hand, whenever you felt the quiet pull of the canvas, it was his face you painted. It was always him.
It had become a ritual of sorts. The nurses would often find you at the small desk in your room, your hands trembling as you carefully added strokes of color to the canvas. Sometimes it was a portrait.
Everyone could see his strong jawline, his dark tousled hair, the way his lips curled into a gentle smile. Other times, it was an abstract piece, his image lost in swirls of color and light. But it was always him.
No one ever questioned it. The staff knew you were once a famous artist, known for your ability to capture the most subtle emotions in a single stroke. Perhaps thatâs why they never seemed surprised to see you lost in your own world, creating pieces of art that you couldnât fully understand anymore.Â
But they saw the joy in your eyes when you painted him, and that was enough. It was more than enough. You were suffering already, in so many ways. What is letting you have some little joy in the things you painted? And so one afternoon, as you carefully placed another layer of paint on the canvas, one of the nurses peeked in.Â
"Howâs the painting today?" she asked softly, her voice kind.
You looked up, smiling at her, the brush still poised in your hand. "Itâs him again." you said, your voice surprisingly steady. "His eyes⊠I remember his eyes."
She smiled at you, though there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Youâve been painting him every day, havenât you?"
You nodded, not quite understanding why it felt so important to paint him. "Heâs got the kindest eyes," you said with a quiet certainty. "The softest face."
She watched you for a moment, her expression filled with understanding. "He must have meant a lot to you."
You blinked, as if the question had never occurred to you. You couldnât remember the details, couldnât remember how he had come into your life or who he was, but the feeling that lingered when you thought about him, when you painted himâthat you couldnât deny. It was love. A deep, unshakable love that you could feel, even if you couldnât understand it completely.
"Yes, I think so." you said, your voice is a little softer now. "He was special. He seems like it."
You looked down at the canvas, the figure of the man emerging once more from the swirls of paint. He had this way of looking at you, even in the paintingsâthis gentle warmth in his eyes that made you feel safe, loved, and understood, even when the rest of the world seemed so distant.
There was peace in that.Â
There was a quiet comfort.
The nurse gave a soft smile, nodding her head before quietly excusing herself. But you stayed, lost in your thoughts as your brush moved again, creating another piece of him. Another piece of your memory, even if it was the only one you had left.
It wasnât about the name. It wasnât about remembering the details of the past. It was about the feeling, the love that had lived between you two, that was what mattered. The man with the blue-green eyes, the man who had the kindest smile, was the one you could hold onto in your heart, even as everything else slipped away.
As you continued to paint, a small smile curled on your lips. He was with you. In every stroke, in every color, he was there. And as long as you could still remember that love, you would keep painting him.
No matter how many times the world around you faded, you would never forget him.
He had been the brightest part of your life, and even now, in the quiet of the care home, he was the only thing you still held close.
And that made everything a little easier.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jjk x y/n#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fushiguro#fushiguro megumi x reader#fushiguro megumi x you#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi fushiguro x you#megumi x y/n#megumi x reader#megumi x you#fushiguro x reader#fushiguro x y/n#fushiguro x you#megumi fluff#megumi angst#jjk angst#jjk fluff#jjk fic#jjk fanfic#jjk fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen megumi
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Belonging with them
Day 3: Belonging.
Summary: He knew where he belonged now.
âąâââŠâââą
Word Count: 1150
Warnings: azzie continues being jelly of kaden lolll
A/n: i love hazel sm yall dont get it đ„ș this fic is based on a short i saw on yt and the dad is like the biggest hunk and gave such cassian vibes and he genuinely cried đ„ș i was gonna write this fic for cassian but then i decided to give this to azzie cus he deserves to cry hehe
(if you dont know hazel and kaden, theyre from my mini series overprotective bat. it was a 2 part series which can be found on my azriel masterlist. all the fic in this week will be revolving around these two cuties hehe)
@azrielappreciationweek
ANYWAY ENJOYYYY đ„ł
°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąâđââąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°
"I donât really know where I fit in anymore."
"Iâve been alive almost five and a half centuries and Iâm not sure of that, either."
The day he had said those words to Feyre seemed like a lifetime away, as if experienced in a dream centuries ago when he was younger and could not differentiate between reality and what his brain had conjured up. But he knew, it had merely been five years.
The five years he had cherished the most in his life.
He loved his family. He adored the way Rhys and Cassian bickered during their annual snowball fight, the way Amren found a way to slide in a snide remark at every dinner, the way Mor would always be ready to go partying. Above all, he adored how all his family including the Archeron sisters would be ready to help him and be there for him any day. Even in the middle of the night when he did not want to wake up his wife but knew he needed someone to help him with his crying daughter.
But⊠they did not complete him. He loved them to bits and would readily give his life for them⊠before he met his now wife and decided she was the one he would spend his life with, mating bond be damned. He had lost all hopes of finding his mate back then after waiting for five centuries.
Imagine his shock when on their wedding day, he felt another thread of gold tying him to his wife.
Now as he sat watching his daughter pet a purring Nuts lounging on the low table in front of him while explaining to him how tea was made, he smiled.
He had found his place of belonging. And it was with his wife and daughter.
Of course, there had to be that boy trying to take his daughter away from him. What was his name? Kade? Kaden? Azriel thought bitterly.
He knew he was being dramatic. His daughter was barely four years at this point, no four year old was going to steal her away.
Hazel turned to Azriel, making him focus all his attention on her. He offered her a smile when she handed him a small pink cup.
"What is this?" He asked, bringing the empty toy to his lips.
She shot him an incredulous look. "Itâs the tea you ordered daddy."
"Oh, yeah sorry, I was thinking about something."
She shook her head. "Stop thinking and focus, daddy. Kaden always pays attention."
Azriel stilled.
I am being compared to a four year old boy now? What has life come to.
He sighed, mumbling out an apology even though all he wanted to do was tell her to stay away from that boy.
He did not want to be forced to go apologise again.
She began fumbling with the littered toys on the desk once more, completely ignoring Azriel in favour of mumbling instructions to Nuts, as if teaching him how to cook.
As he watched her move over to the huge armchair and place a cup on it, conversing with what Azriel could only hope was not spirits of the deceased, his curiosity peaked.
Maybe it was a bad idea, but he needed to make sure that she was not getting overly friendly with Kaden.
"Hazel, this tea is amazing." He waited till she giggled before continuing. "By the way, howâs school?"
It was daycare to help her get accustomed to going to school next year, but Hazel insisted she was a big girl and attended big girl school.
"Itâs fine. Miss Black gave me a gold star yesterday because I helped her." Hazel was focused on the air she was stirring in her red pot as she talked, lips pursed slightly in concentration.
"Hmm. Whoâs your best friend?"
Please donât say Kaden. Not Kaden. Please.
She turned around to glare at him, and he wondered if by any chance he had said the words aloud. But he knew he hadnât. Azriel wouldnât let himself speak without permission from himself.
Her brows bunched up, lips pouting and eyes narrowed, she looked as offended as an old grandma being told her grandchild was full and did not want more food.
"Daddy, itâs you. Youâre my best friend." She rolled her eyes.
Azriel watched. He simply watched her return back to stirring her pot.
Cassian had been the one to teach her the eye rolling. Azriel had been amused. Seeing a child barely reaching his knees roll her eyes at him like she had lived five lives was nothing short of funny.
But right now, it felt anything but.
Itâs you daddy.
His eyes were prickling, that was his first conscious thought after long moments of silence in his head. His vision was getting blurry, throat clogging. Tell tale signs of a sob session oncoming. But he could not bring himself to care as he stared at this little faeling, who did not even realise what she had done.
Youâre my best friend.
Azriel simply sat back against the couch, the cushions pressing against his bare back, and let the tears have their way on his skin.
Iâm her best friend.
Even despite the emotions Hazel had brought forth, somewhere in the back of his mind Azriel was rejoicing that her best friend was not Kaden.
Guess Iâm never beating the territorial illyrian accusations.
The shadows settled down on his shoulders, swirling softly against his skin as they too watched Hazel play and pet Nuts occasionally. They did not inform him of his wifeâs arrival in the living room. They did not have to. He simply felt when her presence was near. The all consuming feeling of love growing stronger in his chest being another indicator.
"Hazel, itâs bath time baby. Letâs go."
Hazel huffed as if what Y/n had said was the most outrageous thing ever. "Mommy, I canât leave yet. There are customers."
Azriel practically felt his wifeâs eyes narrow. "Daddy can attend to your customers."
Hazel turned to look at Azriel pleadingly, her eyes wide and placating before they filled with shock. "Daddy why are you crying!"
Y/n drew closer. "Azzie?"
Azriel blinked, smiling up at his wife before picking up his daughter. "Itâs nothing. Just some dust."
Hazel turned to scowl at Nuts. "I told you to clean up properly. Now see, because of you my daddy is crying."
Azriel huffed out a laugh, pressing his lips to her round cheek.
"Letâs go shower baby. Iâll even get your toys, yeah?"
Azrielâs gaze swung to Y/n at the end of his sentence. She gave him a knowing smile.
"Can Nuts come too? Please daddy, mommy!"
"Fine, but no splashing." Y/n pointed a finger at the father-daughter duo, eyebrows raised.
Hazel had begun to whine, but even she knew not to argue when mommy was serious.
°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąâđââąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°
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Hellooo
Can I request an x reader who tells them the most confusing stories on purpose? Like, "Have you ever walked on your back and suddenly a train washes up on your shore with a cold and lights on its house?" You can look more of this on tiktok lol
Characters: Trey, Jade, Floyd, Azul, Idia, Rook and Jamil pleasee
What the Fuck
Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, rushed kasi nagsasagot ako ng accounting
A/N: I don't have a tikky tok ahahaha I'll just wing it ig. also wdym jade's part is longer no its not
Trey would be confused, but to be honest, there's not too much that can phase him at this point.
He'll look at you with a small, fond smileâever so compliant to every whimsy.
He won't reply with something just as ridiculous, but he can shove a pastry into your mouth to stop you.
Honestly, it's a good deal.
Jade knows this isn't a normal human thing.
He just doesn't care.
"Oh, is that so? I'm afraid I can't answer your question, seeing as I am but a poor merman ignorant of human ways."
Bulletproof smile.
Whatever you're trying to gain from doing this, he just won't give it to you.
Might reply.
"And if a clownfish suffocated in river water trying to kiss a seagull, how many eggs have been laid in a clutch within a coral reef?"
Floyd has two ways of responding to this. It depends on your luck.
If you're lucky, he'll think you're funny and laugh.
If you're unlucky, you get squeezed because "Ahaha, what nonsense are you muttering about, shrimpy? Should I squeeze it outta ya'?"
Run.
Anyway, if you do this to Floyd, you should have been long prepared to run like your life depends on it. It does.
Azul has a very low tolerance for nonsense.
Even if it is you, he'll likely just smile confusedly and refrain from replying.
If you keep on going, he'll draw up a contract then and there to forbid you from ever talking like that again.
Please stop.
Why are you even doing this?!
Jamil is going crazy. Actually, clinically insane.
Stop. Right now.
Will backhand you to the other side of Scarabia. Again.
He's tired enough, please don't add on to his headaches.
If you catch him when he's sleepy, he'll just look at you in a daze and stop processing your words. Will crash.
Rook smiles.
It is very unsettling.
Will nod along to your words and comment complementary nonsense every once in a while.
"There is beauty in such a labyrinth of words! As if only Ariadne's string itself would be my only salvation."
Freak.
Idia grimacesâthere's no way you're hopping on a trend that cringe, right?
...Damn. You actually are.
Er, how close are you with Idia?
Level 1: omfg dude bro get a lyf like rn away from me
Level 2: haha v funny shut up now
Level 3: bb pls stop im going to actually die from cringe
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heart is beating heavily
(buddie) (s8 spec) (1k) several people asked for more of this town is only gonna eat you so this is that. unfortunately i am still feeling evil, so please enjoy buck's pov of the same events :) btw the title of both of these fics comes from the song bloody shirt by to kill a king, which i played on repeat while writing these cw: mass shooting / gun violence
Buckâs breath leaves him in a sharp exhale when he hits the ground. It hurts, but notânot where it should. His chest, his back, theyâre on fire. His head, though, as violently as he was thrown to the ground, never makes contact with the cement.
The only thing he can see now is Eddie. Eddie, hovering above him, eyes wild. He looksâcornered. Trapped. Only heâs the one pressing Buck into the sticky floor of the arena, not the other way around, and he doesnât understand why.
âEds,â he tries to say, but it comes out as more of a croak.
Eddie shakes his head sharply, almostâ
Panicked.
Buck takes a breath and it hurts. His thoughts feel sluggish in a way they never really are. He tries to take stock of what he knows anyway.
His body is screaming in pain.
Eddie is afraid. (Why is Eddie afraid? What could possiblyâ)
Theyâre on the floor. (Eddie pushed him to the floor. Why would heâ)
The space around them is filled with a cacophonous noise that Buck canât quite identify.
Pain. Fear. Sharp popping noises that make Buckâs ears hurt, andâ
Screaming.
Oh.
Buck presses his lips together and tips his chin toward his chest in an approximation of a nod. Eddie exhales, warm against his cheek. His face does something complicated, and thenâ
Iâm sorry, Eddie mouths, and before Buck can figure out what for, white hot pain lances through his chest.
In his mind he screams.
In reality, he bites his tongue hard enough to draw blood. Theyâre in danger, and he wonâtâAs long as heâs still breathing, Eddie wonât leave him here. Even if he should. He wonât protect himself, wonât run, wonât hide. The least Buck can do is keep from drawing attention toward them, but in the moment, it feels like the hardest thing heâs ever done.
ââso good,â Eddie breathes into his ear. âI got you; I promise.â
Buck wants to believe that almost as much as he wishes Eddie would just save himself. Every breath he takes is harder than the one before, though, and it occurs to him that soon, he might draw his last. If he has to die, Eddieâs face is a pretty incredible last thing to see. He just wishes it wasnât twisted in pain and fear.
It takes a minute for Buck to catch up with his own thoughts. Pain. Thatâsâheâs seen it in Eddieâs expression enough times to know it intimately. Why is he in pain? Eddie presses his cheek to Buckâs before he can interrogate the expression further.
âSlow, steady breaths, okay? You have to breathe through it, even if it feels like you canât.â
The scrape of Eddieâs jaw against his sends something like a shiver down Buckâs spine. Thereâs somethingâsomething important, butâit feels just out of reach.
âYou have to, Buck, I canâtâI just need you to hold on,â Eddie whispers, quietly wrecked.
Heâs trying. God is he trying. But itâsâevery breath feels like pulling fire into his lungs. With every exhale, he feels a tiny bit weaker, a tiny bit worse. Eddie pulls away slightly, and Buck feels the absence like a missing rib.
âHear that?â Eddie asks, brushing a thumb across Buckâs cheekbone.
He doesnâtâhe doesnât hear anything other than Eddie, but heâs not sure he wants to.
âWeâre so close, Buck.â
Something settles in his chest at the sound of his name on Eddieâs lips, louder than before, drenched in something that sounds like relief. He blinks once, twice, slow and heavy.
âCome on, eyes on me,â Eddie says sharply. Andâoh, when did he get so far away?
Eddie pulls the hem of his shirt to his teeth andâoh god. Thatâs not Buckâs blood. HeâsâEddieâs hurt too, but Buck canât make his mouth work, canât even keep his eyes open long enough toâ
âNo!â Eddie commands. A new pain accompanies his voice. âYouâre staying right here with me, got it?â
He has toâhas to tell Eddieâhe doesnâtâ
âThatâs perfect, youâre perfect,â Eddie says, eyes shining.
A lump forms in his throat.
âJust keepâcâmon Buck, just keep fighting. I needâyou have to be okay.â
He does. He does have to be okay because Eddieâs not and heâs acting like he doesnât even know.
âHurt,â Buck forces out.
âI know,â Eddie says, but he doesnât! âI know it hurts, Iâm sorry.â
Buck lets out a frustrated groan. He tries to shake his head, and when that fails, to lift his hand to Eddieâs abdomen.
Eddie turns away from him, and if Buck could scream now, he would.
âAlright,â he says, turning back to Buck. âIâm going to get you onto that gurney. Let me do all the work, okay?â
No! No he canât! Buck tries to tell him again, tries to force anything through his lips that Eddie will understand. Youâreââhurt,â he manages again. He canât even lift his hand now. Heâs dying and heâs going to take Eddie with him.
Eddie says something he canât parse, and suddenly heâs moving, being lifted dizzyingly high off the ground. He seesâ
A body. A swarm of cops. Uniformed paramedics and EMTs running in every direction imaginable.
One of them, he just needs one of them to look at Eddie. He just needs one of them to see. Heâs still walking, still talking. He still has time.
Eddie drops him onto what must be a gurney, and immediately it begins to roll. Buck allows his head to loll away from Eddie and towardsâ
An EMT! She canâshe can do something. She canâ
Sheâs not looking at him.
Sheâs not looking at Eddie either. Sheâs looking straight ahead and under any other circumstances Buck would compliment her for her pragmatic understanding of the urgency of the situation. But sheâs walking too fast and Eddieâs beginning to stumble.
âDiaz, is thatââ Yes, yes! Someone sees him. Someone else knowsâ
ââwere you shot?â
Buck gets his head around just in time to watch Eddie collapse into the arms of a firefighter he doesnât recognize.
He wants to scream, to sob, to thrash against the restraints keeping him on the gurney. He wants toâ
Wants toâ
Needsâ
Eddie.
#hehehehehe#i might actually write a real resolution to this but for now i choose violence#cw gun violence#911fic#911 fic#buddiefic#buddie fic#911#buddie#fic#abbie writes
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would you be open to doing bf headcanons for hamzah? they could be sfw and nsfw or just sfw. love ur writing :). <3
BF Headcanons _âĄ
SFW
iâm a very opinionated person, so asking me about my hamzah headcanons is a FIELD DAY for me
Iâve always said this but I feel like hamzah (in the beginning of the relationship) is very shy? Not in the way of âignore any possible interaction between you and himâ but more of a âignores eye contact after a kissâ or âblushes when you call him a nickname for the first timeâ
He acts like he hates when you baby him but behind closed doors⊠BIGGEST BABY EVERRRR
It took him a while to hold your hand in public, not because he's embarrassed but again because he gets too flustered when you run your thumb up and down against the back of his hand,,, or when you play with his hands in general.
I MENTIONED THIS BEFORE IN FIC BUT HAMZAH IS AN EAR BLUSHER AND HE'S SO CUTE WAA
If you get on his lap and play with his hair while talking about random stuff, and you kiss him out of nowhere HEâLL SMILE THIS BIG SMILE AND COVER HIS EARS IM CRYINGGGGG HES SO CUTE
Speaking of kissing lololol
Hamzahâs kisses are SENSUAL, he takes his time and really makes sure you feel his love
Contrary to popular belief i feel like if youâre with hamzah for long enough his love language becomes physical touch
And i dont say that and mean ONLY kisses but hes such a cuddly person. HE NEEDS THAT TLC HES A BIG BOY
BUT. Big but! He is not the type of person to show affection publicly IM SORRYYY
Holding hands and hugging is fine but i think more intimate things heâd rather do in privateâŠ
Not because hes embarrassed as i said, he gets shy at other people perceiving that version of him especially since he isnât âactingâ or âjokingâ
Also he feels like only you deserve to see him like this hehehe
His love language is quality time. Like actually.
His head on your chest, playing stardew valley on his ipad. You watching TV or reading while playing with his curls.
Another form of this is that heâll ask you to be him and martins cameraman just to have you there with him
Or heâll ask if you want to try a new coffee shop that opened down the street
Heâs a man that likes to be around you 24/7
ALSO ALSO ALSO OMG OMG
HE WOULD SO FORCE YOU TO DO BACKGROUND VOCALS FOR SOME OF HIS MUSIC LIKE THE RAPPERS HE LIKES LMFAO
I dont wanna go on too long with this but one thing is for sure
Youâre his princess for REAL treats you like ROYALTY lol
If you guys get into an argument. Even if youâre wrong, he ends up apologizing
âI shouldnât have let it boil over to this anyway.â
10/10 boyfriend. Totally recommend.
NSFW
SISTA. I HAVE NEVER EVER THOUGHT IâD HAVE THE PLATFORM TO SHARE THESE THOUGHTS BUT I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YALL UNDERSTAND ONE THING!!!!
Hamzah is NAWT a boob or ass guy. HE LIKES BOTH EQUALLY. (He is secretly is ass-leaning tho LMFAO)
This is so funny but he totally is the type to smack your ass randomly when he walks by.
Do you get mad? Yes. Do you tell him to stop it? Yes. Does he stop? No. Do you secretly think it's kinda� WELL YESSS
TWO WORDS. Boob squeezer.
I think from what we can understand so far. is that Hamzah is the handsy man. HIS HANDS ALWAYS SOMEWHERE LOL
sex drive is for sure high. and when i say high⊠ITS HIGHHH
Contrary to popular belief AGAIN.
Hamzah doesnât partake in dirty talk much⊠not that he doesn't like itâhe just wouldnât in my opinion? It's not that he wouldnât talk at all, but he is more of a heavy breathing, whimpering, moaning guyâpretty much more noises than actual words
Though as i said, he would talk sometimes, especially if heâs feeling really good, or his stamina is lasting him longer than he thought⊠he starts getting a little cocky
On the topic of dirty talk, if he does talk, 99.9% of it would be praising, i don't see him enjoying degrading unless you ask him to.. but heâll be a little awkward about it LMFAOOO
Something like: âfuck, baby youâre taking me so good.â
(Unironically starts actually using good girl after a while of making it a joke btw)
Someone sent a request a few days ago and said âi feel like hamzah has a breeding kinkâ and why was i gagged?! NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT YES, i feel like hes more into the thought filling u with *** then the thought of impregnating you if that makes any sense
Im talking too much⊠digital footprint go hard.
(A/N): this isnt proofread, i kinda braindumped but i had fun doing this!! Thank u anon for the request I HOPE U LOVE THIS CUTIE MWAAAAHH
#hamzahthefantastic#slushy noobz#hamzah fluff#hamzah x reader#hamzah x y/n#deerâs reqs!#hamzah smut#hamzah the fantastic
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Marshmallow lover | B.B & S.R
>> Bucky comes home from a mission, flashbacks are brought back. But luckily you know what Bucky needs to clam down. Not only you and Steve but also hot chocolate. <<
Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Boyfriend!Steve Rogers x Girlfriend!Reader
Wordcount: 2.852 Words
Warnings: poly-relationship, m/m/f, established relationship, anxiety/panic, mention of punching), nicknames (babydoll, princess, majesty), fluff
Authors Note: Dedicated to @mercurial-chuckles. Cause you asked for Stucky, hehe. I had another idea but I just havenât had enough motivation or ideas to write it. So I hope you like that one anyway.
Events: Stucky Bingo [SB6010 | B3 | Writing Format: second person + November Prompt: Home | @stuckybingo] Steve Rogers Bingo [SB4054 | C3 | Free Space | @steverogersbingo]
Masterlist | Stucky x Reader Masterlist
It was one of these early winter days, where the weather wasn't too cold but you could already feel the breeze the winter was bringing with itself. The air was cool; your hands would have been ice blocks already, but luckily your boyfriend was holding one of them, and the other has been stuck in your pocket since the two of you left the house.
Actually, the two of you thought about staying home until Bucky came home â from the mission â in the evening. But when Bucky told you that he wouldn't be home before the late evening, Steve decided to force you in a loving way to go shopping with him. He knew you loved decoration, so it was the best opportunity to make you leave the house and have some fun with him. Otherwise, you would have sat in the hallway, watching the front door until Bucky walked inside.
It happened once, and both of your men made sure that they would distract you if the other one was on a mission and came home late. Of course, they understood why you acted like that; it was weird to have one of you not in bed at night or missing at the table during meals. Even watching television was different if one of them was on a mission â which didn't happen often anymore.
But after the last time you refused to leave the spot in the hallway unless you had to use the bathroom, Steve took you shopping this time. And luckily, he managed to get your mind off of the fact that Bucky could be injured when he came home. Even though you seemed distracted, Steve felt a little restless; he knew you felt the same, but he just hoped the decoration was distracting enough for you. Little did he know that you hoped the same for him, because deep down, you wanted to return home to make sure that Bucky was fine once he came home. But you tried to calm yourself; Bucky could call you once he was home, and he could take care of himself for a bit too. Plus, he sometimes even enjoyed having a moment just for himself after some missions.
When you had some items you wanted and were happy with, you and Steve made your way back home. It was just a short walk, but the later it got, the colder it was. You were shivering, and Steve's strong arm around your waist and his muscular body pressed against your side didn't help much to warm you up. âYou know, my tooth...â you chuckled softly, moving them inside your shoes even though you didn't really feel them because of the cold anymore. âThey are pretty cold. Guess they would fall off if I bumped them.â
âThen we get you home pretty fast. Don't want your toes to fall off. Bucky wouldn't like that either," Steve joked, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your hair. The two of you didn't talk much; there was no need. It was just the closeness to one another, the happiness and love that you felt whenever you were close to your boyfriends. So you just walked quietly along the streets with him, the sky slowly darkening, and you were glad you were almost home already.
After a few more minutes of walking, you finally walked into the warm house. It was almost a burning feeling on your skin, and you hissed softly. Steve had to shove you into the house, or else you would probably have walked backwards and out of the warmth back into the cold. He chuckled behind you, his calloused hands holding you by your waist before pushing you further into the hallway so he was able to close the door behind you.
âIt's warm, isn't it? Maybe itâs because you're surrounded by such hot men.â Steve laughed softly, taking your jacket, before he took off his own jacket and shoes. You narrowed your eyes when you walked further into your house, looking around to find Bucky. You were sure he was home; his shoes were in the hallway where they belonged. But instead of your boyfriend coming immediately to greet the two of you, he was nowhere to be seen. Steve's voice interrupted your thoughts before you could even start to worry. âMaybe he's in the bedroom; he loves showers after a mission. While you look for him, I'm gonna make some hot chocolate for us.â
You nodded, pecking Steve's lips softly, before you turned away to walk to your shared bedroom. You didn't hear any noises, neither the shower nor Bucky looking through the wardrobe to find something comfortable to wear. You tried as best as you could to not worry about him. Bucky was sometimes pretty quiet, especially after missions. It was almost like he had to get used to home again to know he wasn't on a mission any longer.
The door of your bedroom was almost closed, but you saw a little part of the bed, the small bedside table, and a hint of something else â feet. Or it was more the toes that were curled, like they were the only part that was holding him grounded. You pushed the door open, looking to the side where Bucky was sitting. Your eyes widened as you saw him curled up into himself. His knees were pressed against his chest, his hands properly bruising his skin already, while his eyes were unfocused. Bucky was just staring into the air with a fearful expression on his handsome face.
You slowly walked closer to him, unsure what to do. Sweat was running down his forehead; even his hair was sweaty, and his clothes were stuck to him like a second skin â soaked in sweat. You're not sure how long he was sitting there like that; his teeth gritted, his jaw clenched, and you noticed his other muscles being more visible than usual through his clothes. Bucky was tense like he was still in a fight, and in a certain way he was â but instead of fighting against some people like Hydra, he was fighting his own battle with himself, with his fear in his mind.
âBucky?â You asked softly, your voice just above a whisper when you kneeled down in front of him. There was still some distance, so he wasn't able to reach you if he would punch or kick. You have seen Steve in such situations with Bucky before; he had to take the one or another punch already â which caused Bucky to feel even more guilty after. But Steve always assured him that it's not as bad as it looks and that it would never change anything about the way he feels for Bucky or sees his boyfriend. And even though he never hurt you, Bucky was always sorry that you had to see him struggling so much with his nightmares and flashbacks from the past â you never judged him; you only loved him more when he couldn't love himself.
Bucky didn't react when you called him by his name. His fingers only tightened around his legs. You wanted to reach out, but you know you shouldn't. Bucky once had his hand around Steve's throat the moment his fingertips brushed along his lover's leg. And you knew Steve was stronger than you; he had struggled to get the other super soldier off of him, so you were pretty sure Bucky would crash you before you could even call for Steve. And both told you to never call Steve for help; they trust and love you, but they were too worried about you â and Bucky would never be okay with himself again if he would hurt you. And you understood it.
After another time calling him by his name but getting no answer, you sigh softly. Tears slowly formed in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks, and everything inside of you screamed to wipe them away, to pull him into you, but you were too afraid to scare him even more. So, you decided to make the only thing that came as an alternative solution to your mind â Steve.
From the time you walked into the bedroom to the moment you got up to walk to the door and shout for Steve, only a few minutes passed. But for you, it felt like at least twenty minutes, not being able to help Bucky and not wanting to leave his side while you tried to come up with something that could help without Steve's help.
You opened the door of your shared bedroom a bit more, looking out into the hallway. âSteve!â You shouted, earning immediately a soft âYes.â from him. He was still making the hot chocolate, but he was worried the moment you shouted his name instead of coming into the kitchen with Bucky. âIâI need you here. Or Bucky needs you... WE NEED YOU.â
Steve would have chuckled about your wording, but he knew that this wasnât a situation to laugh about. He immediately turned off everything that could burn. His footsteps were loud and heavy when he walked to your shared bedroom. He noticed you looking out of the door, narrowing his eyes when he didn't see Bucky close to you. The big grump was actually holding you close, hugging, carrying, or kissing you the whole time. But right now, it was only you who waited for him to come to the bedroom.
"Where's Buck? Are you okay? Did he⊠What's wrong?â Steve asked, not even letting you a moment to answer. You brought your hand to his cheek, stroking it softly before giving him a slight, soft smile. He knew you didn't feel like you tried to show, but he knew you did it to calm the two of you down. It wouldn't help any of you to freak out or be more worried. After a moment, you take your hand away, taking a step to the side, and letting Steve walk into the room.
âHe doesn't react when I talk to him. I-I don't know what I can do, but you... You trailed off, watching Steve's eyes widen as he saw your boyfriend looking like a lost puppy. You watched him walk over to Bucky, pulling you with him before Steve pushed you to sit down on the bed, and he kneeled down in front of Bucky. Steve was way closer than you were earlier, and you pulled your knees up, hugging them while you watched your boyfriends intensely. âYou know what to do, right?â
Steve nodded, smiling softly. He turned his head back to Bucky, placing his hand on the brown-haired man's knees. Bucky hissed; his metal hand shot up to place a punch into Steve's pretty face, but he caught Bucky's hand. Steve held Bucky's hand tightly, trying to force his hand back down, and after a moment it even worked. You watched them with slightly parted lips; when did Steve find out how to catch Bucky's hand â especially his metal hand?
âBuck, it's me. It's Steve. You're home; do you hear me?â Steve asked, his voice soft. He ran his thick fingers slowly up and down the side of Bucky's thigh. He leaned a bit closer; his other hand was still holding Bucky's metal hand, and you wonder if Bucky was trying to punch him with his other hand but he didn't. âYou're home, with me and our princess. You know, your babydoll.â
Bucky gasped softly, his eyes wider than before. His hands made grabbing motions, and Steve smiled softly, feeling Bucky being less tense than he was just a moment ago. Steve let go of his boyfriend's metal hand, using his hand to wipe away some sweat from Bucky's forehead.
âHi, Buck,â he chuckled. Bucky slowly calmed down, noticing his surroundings. Bucky was slowly letting go of his legs, stretching them slowly between Steve's legs while his head fell forward against Steve's shoulder. âYou're home; we are home. We got ya. Scared our princess a bit.â
âMy babydoll?â Bucky's voice was hoarse and quiet, but Steve understood him anyway. He slowly nodded, caressing Bucky wet strands. Steve then turned his head to you, nodding at Bucky and mouthing that he just asked for you before he even asked anything else. âMy babydoll, my Stevie.â
âWeâre here, Buck. Do you want her to come closer as well, or do you need a moment?â Steve asked softly. He knew â you both knew â that Bucky was still pretty shaken up and that he could use some time to calm down or that he needed to feel the two of you, to smell the two of you, and to see the two of you to calm down completely.
Since the brown-haired man didn't really trust his voice, he only lifted his hand, making a grabby hand into the direction of the bed where you were still sitting. His other hand was interlaced with Steves, holding him close to Bucky. You slowly moved down from the bed; your knees were cracking softly when you stretched them out, and Steve laughed softly.
âThought we were old, but you're cracking just like we do,â he told you, smirking before he moved a bit to the side to make space for you in front of Bucky. You rolled your eyes, moving closer to Bucky, but before you could have even said anything or moved another inch, he pulled you into his lap. You were straddling his thick thighs, your chest pressed against his.
Bucky hid his face in the crock of your neck, pulling Steve against his side so the two of you â the two people he loved the most, who meant everything to him â were as close as possible to him. After a moment of comfortable silence, he lifted his head. He was still sweaty, but his ocean blue eyes were brightened, and the sparkle you and Steve loved so much were visible again. A soft smile was tugging at Bucky's lips, causing you to smile as well. He leaned closer, pecking your lips before he did the same with Steve, sighing softly.
âHi,â he chuckled, resting his head on your shoulder once again. âMissed you two. Do I smell hot chocolate?â
Both you and Steve laughed softly. When it came to hot chocolate, especially with marshmallows, you had to be faster than Bucky, or else he â accidentally â drank everything before you even reached the kitchen.
âMhm, itâs probably cold again, but I can warm it up while you get a shower, sweaty,â Steve teased, using the nickname on purpose instead of âsweetyâ. Bucky rolled his eyes, growling softly, but he then nodded. Steve wasn't wrong; he felt like he had already taken a shower, but this time with his own sweat. âWe got some marshmallows, and our princess got a lot of decorations.â
You nodded; your eyes lit up as you opened your mouth to start and explain what you got and why you got it. Bucky chuckled, loving your excitement. But he wanted you to show him and explain it while the three of you would be sitting wrapped up in a blanket on the couch with hot chocolate and marshmallows. So he pressed his lips onto yours before you could even start to tell him more about it.
âBut I'm taking my babydoll to take a shower with me,â Bucky grumbled, and there he was again. Your Bucky, the love of your and Steveâs lives who never let go of you, who needed to be close to you, needed to kiss you and just show you all the love and affection. Of course, he did the same with Steve too, but he had another task, so it was you who was going to join him in the shower. âPlus, need her to wash my hair. Feels so much better when she massages the shampoo into my hair with her soft hands.â
âOf course you do,â Steve chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to Bucky and then your forehead before he got up to get the chocolate ready. Bucky opened his mouth, but Steve turned around, smirking at him. âYeah, with as many marshmallows as you wish, my majesty.â
âGood boy.â Bucky grinned at Steve, who suddenly blushed and turned away. âMission completed, making Stevie blush. Now, my next mission is to get you into the shower with me. Mhm, missed you. I love you so much, babydoll. And you too, Steve, I know you're standing in the hallway.â
âI love you too,â you say in unison with Steve, who then made his way down the hallway back to the kitchen. Bucky got up, keeping you in his arms before he walked with you to the bathroom, getting the two of you into the shower. It wasn't just cleaning him; it was a lot more Bucky being possessive and touch-starved, and you were his solution â you were gladly his way to get touches and be happy when it meant kisses, hugs, soft touches, and all the compliments you loved so much to hear from your boyfriends.
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#stucky x reader#stucky x you#stucky x y/n#stucky fanfiction#stucky fic#stucky x female reader#Bucky Barnes x Steve rogers#Steve rogers x Bucky Barnes#Bucky x Steve x reader#Steve x Bucky x reader#bucky barnes x yn#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader fluff#steve rogers x yn#steve rogers x female reader#steve rogers x y/n#Steve rogers x reader fluff#steve rogers fluff#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x f!reader#steve rogers x f!reader
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something very strong and dark about this, and i think it's very funny that i really picture S1!rafe for this, because of how much he's divided. but what i love the most about that dark content, it's the writing of this, of rafe. it's very interesting because it's true that he's got not regret, but you can see that he's not proud of himself too, he just wanted to do it. and i'm thinking, it's crazy how pathetic he is, because lmfaooo he really needed someone who is not conscient just to be sure and to feel more powerful. the misogyny is too real unfortunaly. but actually, S1!rafe give me so much this vibe because he's a white kook priviligied man so you can't tell me he would never assault a poor pogue girl ?? let's be honest, anywaus i'm talking too much âčïžâđż
He thrusts hard and uncoordinated, fucking like he knows heâs hot, or at least how many more pills he has left in his stash. Knocking against your insides and entirely focused on the way his dick feels, knowing how easily he could move onto another victim, and just how much he wants to enjoy you in particular before itâs over. â «uncoordinated » he's not even conscient himself, it's killing me. he's really such an hard case
âYou want this dick so fuckinâ bad huh,â he laughs at the puddle of arousal leaking out underneath you, considers swiping a finger into it to stick into your mouth but he doubts youâd be able to breathe right now if he interfered with the half catatonic features on your face, and itâs not like heâs out for that type of violence anyways (or at least not right now). â the sentence, he say it to reader or more to reassure himself ?? đ”đ” I'm running crazy
âUh yâknow,â he tongues at his cheek, âI could take care of that for you, practically all spread open anâready huh?â â I feel so perverted while reading this, when i will be punish ? anyways, i'm damned âđż
â r. cameron / reader
warnings: DUBCON â rafe roofies and then rapes reader / unprotected PinV / misogyny / mention of drugs (cocaine & roofies) / mention of virginity / inspiration taken from maddy & nate (euphoria)
synopsis: rafe cameron x fem!reader⊠sometimes rafe needs to slip a girl a little something at a party to get some, and whereâs the shame in that if he knows they want him anyway, theyâre just too prudish to admit it.
After youâve successfully been dosed, he makes you sit on his lap for lack of space on the couch so he can rock you on his knee until youâre tired, delirious, and horny enough to be lifted upstairs, legs dangling against his broad back while you hiccup and giggle next to your upside-down view of his chest.
His nose is numb from the coke and his brain heady, one could argue almost as inebriated as you. But the lines make him oversaturated, not cock-dumb like what he slipped you â eager hands already pawing at his zipper and coming to a fumbled close around the metal just before youâre tossed onto a bed, spread aloof like the crumpled sheets.
âYouâre sooo nice to me Rafe.. when all the other guys were sayinâi shoulda gone home,â you end with a belligerent nod of your head, slurring throughout and biting your lip in sexless embarrassment, chewing the skin raw enough to reflect your torn consciousness instead.
Rafe simply smirks, chin protruding outwards while his eyes flit between your thighs peeking through your overridden dress and your tits falling out of the frilly décolletage.
âYou a virgin?â
âMhmâ you lie, despite the reeling dizziness occupying your headspace. Besides, nobody likes a whore â especially not rafe, uninterested in âstretched out pussyâ as you vaguely recall from his earlier conversation crowded around friends.
He approaches closer now, knocking your trembling knees apart with one of his beefy thighs, bulge forward and creasing in his pants as your dialogue gets him hard already, imposing his physicality in all its glory: âWhat likeâ youâve never even been fingered before?â
You shake your head, tousling curls before staring back up at him, âOnly my own.â
To that he chuckles, the noise grating and stunted when he uses it as an excuse to adjust himself in his pants, drawing his chest down further until heâs now hovering above you.
âUh yâknow,â he tongues at his cheek, âI could take care of that for you, practically all spread open anâready huh?â
Like it wasnât his plan to get you dumb and stuffed by the end of the night, even if it meant bringing out his inner brute, he was taller, faster, stronger â he could do it if he really wanted, but he made it easy for you instead. Could feel the roofie worming its way into your consciousness, jamming rationality and flooding you with hedonistic desire that would trigger your sex endorphins and make it so that you would want this, that he could brag about it without you opening your bitch mouth the next day and claiming ârapeâ; an ugly word anyways, coming out harsh in a spit, nothing like what rafe was doing to you, especially not with the way you were looking at him.
Your mouth opens, then closes, seemingly flailing on confirmation when really your jaw is getting slack and numb, and so you feel encouraged to nod instead, the movement making your thoughts go all bubbly, refracting Rafeâs glinting eyes at your âconsentâ.
He wastes no time with prep, shoving your dress up so itâs tucked over your tits, basal temperature remaining warm and stuffy despite the exposure to cool air. A good indicator though, means rafe can tell itâs working, and just how long he has before you might start struggling.
When he pulls himself out of his shorts itâs surprising, of course, everything about him is pretty, one would expect a tangible reflection of the cruelty on his features but instead, his dick looks cutesy, if not for the intimidating size.
Spit trickles harshly down his palm when he wraps a hand around himself, tugging quickly and using both his legs to split you around his midriff, leaking and achy despite the inattention youâve received.
âYou want this dick so fuckinâ bad huh,â he laughs at the puddle of arousal leaking out underneath you, considers swiping a finger into it to stick into your mouth but he doubts youâd be able to breathe right now if he interfered with the half catatonic features on your face, and itâs not like heâs out for that type of violence anyways (or at least not right now).
When he pushes himself inside youâre silent, pupils retreating in favour of a squeal â ironically a very Rafe-esque trait â while Rafe bites down into his cheek and rolls his palm over your chest to ease the pressure of the fit.
âThought the roofie woulda loosened you up a bit..â mumbled out while his stomach clenches, now bracing his entire heavy arm across your abdomen and pinching skin when you involuntarily quiver at the weight, âYou can take it câmon.â
He thrusts hard and uncoordinated, fucking like he knows heâs hot, or at least how many more pills he has left in his stash. Knocking against your insides and entirely focused on the way his dick feels, knowing how easily he could move onto another victim, and just how much he wants to enjoy you in particular before itâs over.
Sweat clings to both your bodies, the slick getting louder when each thrust manages to pound a squelch out of you, spattering against the sheets or catching on Rafeâs balls to stick the both of you together with messy tendrils.
Youâre pliant, let him move your legs so your ankles entwine behind his back, heavy hand locking them together and giving you both little breathing room; just enough for him to spill obscenities straight into your emotionless face with hot, sticky breath â he laughs, manically and seemingly at his own joke, before deciding to share it with you, âjust donât go running âbout me âassaultingâ you right. You wanted this, not my fault my cockâs so good the slut has to go dumb hmm?â mocking you with a teasing lilt and a raised brow.
You pat at his swollen chest, itâs all you can manage to do, urgent to get him off you, give you a little space atleast. He only shoves himself in further, lips puckering to sloppily catch yours, saliva straying down your chin and jaw instead.
Your outright discomfort seems to get him going even more, thrusts increasing in increment despite becoming more careless, tip catching your clit when he slips out and hurries to stuff it back in.
When his face pinches up, brows tensed and nose furrowed, you can tell heâs going to cum, the friction between your bodies almost unbearable with the heat that suddenly envelops him.
A slew of curses are hissed out, casual vulgarity being one of Rafeâs favourite expressions of self, and then heâs pulling out and wrapping a fist around himself to paint your tummy white. Ropes shooting watery on your tummy and painting him a proud picture.
He shakes himself off on you a final time before tucking his wet dick back into his briefs, cleaning himself up entirely unbothered by the dissected mess of you laying drugged and fucked out on the bed.
âMy head feels funny.â
âYeah, thatâs cause I fucked it out of whack.â He says it serious but you can imagine his upturned lips at his own sick sense of humour.
âWhere are you going?â you sit up groggy, chest tight.
âUhh, back downstairs, got some more yayo I needa lay offâ you can stay here or.. wherever, doesnât matter.â
He has the decency to shut the door fully when he leaves, yet youâre still alone and forced to lay in the waste of one of Rafe Cameronâs nights out.
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