#or that they might not have much in common at first

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Sorry if you've already covered this, but I was scrolling socials and saw that the San Antonio zoo got a large donation to expand their savanna habitat. The only thing that jarred me as I read through their expansion plans was apparently they're going to be outfitting some 'safari' vehicles so guests can be taken into the habitat to feed and interact with the animals (from within the vehicle). I was always under the impression that this kind of interaction wasn't necessarily good for either the humans or the animals-- is there a way it can be done ethically?? Anyway, I just thought it was interesting!

Ooo, okay, your question aligned with a thing I've been chewing on for a while, so let's talk ~ethics~ and ~philosophy~ aka this is gonna be a bit long. I do promise I'll answer your question, though!

The first thing I want to note is that you're really asking about two different things, which are almost always conflated these days when it comes to talking about animals: welfare (is the animal happy / healthy / safe) and ethics (is what's happening good / moral / acceptable). It's really important that we distinguish between the two, because welfare is an objective measure of physical and mental wellbeing, and ethics are a human construct that involves subjective interpretation.

A useful but highly oversimplified example of this is the bothering of cats for online videos. Pestering a cat to get a funny reaction once in a while may not impact their overall welfare. Welfare is the cumulative impact of an animal's experiences, which means that single acute moments may not weight heavily on the entire balance. If the cat is healthy, fed well, enriched, and has a good and positive bond with their humans, those momentary irritations for videos might not matter much. That doesn't mean that you or I, as viewers, might not still find bothering an animal for internet clout ethical. We can believe that humans shouldn't ever unnecessarily put their pet through negative experiences, and we can think that doing so just because it brings the human money or fame is distasteful. But! We have to recognize that as used in this example, those ethical stances aren't inherently tied to the animal's welfare state. Many people I know who dislike cat-bothering don't care if the animal has good welfare outside of that situation - they don't like that the situation occurs at all, ever.

So, back to your question. You're wanting to know if it's okay for a zoo to have a drive-through aspect of an exhibit where people get to feed the animals. You're asking if it's safe for the humans and for the animals (which is a welfare question) and if that type of interaction is ethical. I could just tell you that of course it's fine, San Antonio is an AZA zoo and their accreditation only allows them to do "good things" but that's now how it works here (nor is it the reality of accreditation).

The safety aspect is one I'm not worried about. It's actually a pretty common thing for reputable facilities to do some sort of vehicle tour in savanna habitats, whether in the guest's vehicle (safari parks) or on a hay-ride type vehicle (zoos). Many of those allow guests to feed out specific parts of their animals' diets. Offhand, I know Tampa and Fossil Rim both have feeding tours like this in a staff-driven vehicle. It's not specified from the zoo's press release, but I can guarantee you that guests will not be driving those vehicles - which means the interactions will be proctored by staff and what people are feeding out will be carefully regulated. The habitat is going to have rhino, giraffe, zebra, ostrich, and antelope/gazelle, and I'd guess that the drive-through is going to stick to those latter two and maybe additional species. Those are animals where a car is an appropriate safety barrier.

As to if it's ethical to do? It's spiny question, because it depends very directly on the ethical perspectives of the person you're asking. I think it's fine - you may not. Let's break down the different things that come into consideration on the ethical side, and my responses:

"The zoo is commercially exploiting animals by letting people pay to get closer." If the issue is that people paying to get closer to animals is using them for money, well, that's the business model of a zoo (non-profit or not, they still need revenue to operate). So IMHO it's not like it's "less ethical" than anything else the zoo is doing, using that framing.

"Zoo animals should be allowed to be wild and undisturbed by guests driving in their habitats." Zoo animals aren't wild, and their entire lives revolve around humans and the human work schedule. As long as a vehicle entering the habitat doesn't have a negative welfare impact (e.g. they're not scared of it), it's not very different from the rest of the routine of managed care.

"Feeding zoo animals will encourage people to try to feed wild animals." Thanks to obnoxiously viral content creators, people are going to try to feed wild animals no matter what. Doing it in a proctored situation where a staff member can try to do some education at the same time is probably the best possible scenario.

"People just do those tours to get close to cool animals." People are always going to want to touch the animals. If being able to pay for a tour keeps them from jumping the fence to try to pet a rhino, great.

There's one more that I want to talk about separately, because I think it's where a lot of confusion gets generated. It's this idea that "Humans shouldn't be interacting with animals at all, any interaction is unethical and bad for the animals." This is a welfare crossover, but not one actually informed by welfare science in a captive situation. And I think it's because the internet lacks nuance. Yes, it is absolutely correct to say that with wild animals, you should never ever try to feed a deer out of your car (or similar). It is incredibly harmful to those animals on both an acute and chronic timeline. But thanks to the rage-bait algorithms on social media and people endlessly justifying doing stupid, dangerous, bad things (and getting pushback for it), there's been a lot of bleed between the public's understanding of what wild animal welfare is and what captive animal welfare is. Combine that with the reality that captive animal welfare cannot be assessed or diagnosed from a single context-less clip, and that people with strong beliefs and no practical experience with the field/species/individual will pass judgement loudly to their audiences...

The result is almost a reflexive believe in many sectors of the internet that any human-animal interaction that isn't couched as a "rescue" is inherently unethical, for reasons people often can't articulate. Which is why, I think, so often people want to support certain aspects of captive animal management but feel guilty for doing so. I see this a lot in the questions the blogs gets, and I'm glad people feel comfortable asking, because it's important to think through not just the individual instances but the patterns leading us to question them.

So yes, I'd say that a staff-led experience in a vehicle chosen for safety is an ethical way to proctor an interaction between guests and certain savanna species. It will vary by facility - I'm always more wary about guests driving, although many drive-through safaris are fine - and by setup. I think what San Antonio is doing will be fine, though, and will be interested to see / hear about the setup when they start up.

If you've got a question about ethical captive management, I'm always happy to talk about it - but I'd invite you to poke around in your head a little and send me not just your question in the ask, but your thinking about why or why not something might be concerning. It's great practice for understanding why you relate to animal ethics the way you do, and where those beliefs come from.

[rayroseu]

Rambles about Book 7 lol

AAAAAAAÀAAA 😭😭😭 THIS IS SO AUGHHH THE MEANING BEHIND THIS INFO !!!!!! knowing that the first thought of Lilia in encountering Silver was that he should kill him to avenge Meleanor and Levan and that his purpose of adopting him is that he wants to believe he can love a human as well AND LILIA TEACHING THIS HUMAN BABY HOW TO LIVE DESPITE THE MANY CHANCES HE GOT TO GET RID OF HIM AUGJAURIWUTJW AND MAY I SAY LILIA WENT FROM DISTANTLY BEING ATTACHED TO THIS BABY AND THEN TRANSITIONING UNTO WANTING FOR HIM TO LIVE AND WITNESS HIM GROW UP AAAAAAA😭😭✨✨✨

IF I CRYYYY MELEANOR HAUNTS THE NARRATIVE 😭💞💕💞✨

LMAO not the faes snitching this info to malleus ofmg 😭✨

lowkey this is me as well i think babies are kinda ugly too KDHJAEJ especially when they cry 💀🔥🔥

YOU CALL THIS ADORABLE HELPPPP 🤣🤣🤣okay but in all seriousness, we rarely get this easy sarcastic Malleus, he's always too formal around NRC and often his humor lands amiss to other charas which doesnt prompt him to present this trait, but its so sweet that he seemed to be "truly himself" in the cottage scenes where its just him Lilia and Silver🥺✨ his voice doesnt feel "authoritative" too like a dorm leader, its just malleus and his difficulty in getting along with the random baby lilia caught lol

I remember this line was translated as a flower nectar?? but they kinda saying the same and i like this paraphrase that Lilia thinks of Milk as nectar for baby humans, like how Malleus often relates tech to some magical ritual lol

crying at this line, knowing that Malleus says this because he has broken several many things bcs he couldnt control his strength and perhaps there were things that Lilia owns that he accidentally destroyed as well so he tries to mend this uncontrollable strength of his in order to not be an inconvenience😭✨

NURSEMAID???? YEAH NURSEMAID CALLED LILIA VANROUGE 😭😭💔💔💔 and AAAAA not once did Malleus search for this tune??? not even sing it to Maleficia and Lilia so as to inquire about it 😭✨💔💔 this is when you know this lullaby IS truly MELEANOR'S LULLABY because everyone of the characters only heard it from her !!!😭😭😭💔💔

I love this response from Malleus lol, also i feel like some situation will challenge Lilia's love for humans again, like can you still love humans if they commit the same crime again to Malleus as they did with Meleanor?? Twisting their personality and actions so as to validate their fear?? Can you still say that faes should make an effort to make peace with them when repeatedly it was the humans who wasnt willing to udnerstand faes to begin with ? 😭✨ its a realistic worry fitting for a king that'll rule for centuries, maybe bcs he has this instinct that humans are epehemeral and so are their promises.

Thinking about it a bit more, its true that what Levan does is futile effort because the issue between humans and faes, Briarland and Silver Owls is too much that it cant be resolved by just understanding each other.

Levan wants the war to stop but obviously that can't happen because the bigger factions of each natioj are resolute at their stance that Briarland is owned by faes or humans, no in between. He can't immediately fix the mentality of higher faes and Meleanor with their hatred of humans and vice versa with the human officials like Henric,

but what he can do to decrease the casualties of this conflict is to pave way for the COMMON folk to understand each other, if he can make way for the common fae and the common human to talk to each other, then it might decrease the misunderstanding between the common fae and common human (assuming that both parties arw willing to be understanding)

its really a long shot and a gamble to aspire for considering his country's situation, and its effects would take a while to impact and honestly it took so much important people and years just to have his dream of peace, i wish we could get an input about what he feels about this

considering his kindness he might be happy, but im kinda sad its really tragic the implication of how the faes had to earn their peace and atone for a conflict that they didnt even start with,

based on Lilia, it took 400 YEARS just for the humans to sign a peace treaty, maybe in the eyes of the faes, thats just a piece of paper, so they waited and grieved the lost of their Princess Meleanor and many of their fae soldiers and Prince Levan and ALMOST the entirety of their continent, just for these humans to sign an 400 year long overdued peace treaty?? so the faes that died couldve been saved if these humans could spare some compassion and ink to sign a treaty-- It kinda feels like they're insulting their grief (in the faes point of view atleast), whats the purpose of having this paper peace treaty when they have lost so much already?? I WISHHH the story could delve more into the grief of faes,

kinda lowkey mad they just swept Lilia's grief by the humans just cuz he encountered a few good ones, i wouldve love to see him being vengeful then learning how to convert that grief to love again just like Maleficent in the live action, bcs it would be very meaningful on this way, Lilia can truly say he has learned how to love because he experienced real deep hatred---but AAA its whatever this storyline is good as well, just kinda feels general lilia's belief converted to present!lilia a bit too fast to my liking lol

its really intriguing how before book 7 the faes dislike of humans seems so dramatic but now after book 7 it all makes too much sense 😭✨

(can you guys tell i play too much reverse 1999 bcs i ramble too much about morals and politics between different races now JHDJWHRJW)

[moonpascal]

IN THE SHADOW OF MEMORY

CHAPTER FOUR I series masterlist I wc: 3.4k

WARNINGS:

hurt/angst, lonelines, lots of dialogue

AUTHORS NOTE:

thank you to @amiableness my love as always gave me the encouragement i need for these things!

sorry for the long wait! i played hogwarts legacy for the first time and got sucked in. but it did help me with visioning locations and everything. hopefully chapter four was worth the wait (idk feels like a filler lol)

The past few days had been agonizingly unproductive since you realized the extent of your memory loss—entire chunks of the last year and a half simply gone. 

Hermione, stubborn as ever, refused to tell you what you were missing, no matter how much you begged. You knew she was hiding something, and it frustrated you to no end. These were your memories, after all—you had every right to know what had been erased.

The memory that played in the great hall never left you. You couldn’t be sure if it was a fragment of what was lost or just your mind playing tricks on you. Either way, it felt personal, too personal to share with her without knowing for certain if it was real.

But every time you tried to push through and remember more, it was as if a wall slammed down in your mind, sending a jarring, almost painful shock that stopped you cold. Why had this happened to you? Was it an accident, or had someone targeted you? The questions were maddening.

Caught in a loop of pacing and rubbing your temples in frustration, you accidentally kicked your trunk, sending the pile of jumpers and a tie sprawling across the floor. Huffing in annoyance, you bent down to fold them again, ignoring the nagging sense of familiarity they stirred. You were too irritated, too overwhelmed to connect it.

Just as you finished folding the last item, Grace walked in, looking thoroughly exhausted.

“Tough class?” you asked, trying to shift your focus.

She let out a small, tired laugh as she dropped her bag at the foot of her bed. “I wish. Just boys not taking no for an answer,” she sighed.

You shot her a sympathetic look, knowing the feeling all too well. “Wouldn’t happen to be a certain Slytherin whose clothes I keep tripping over, would it?” you teased, holding up the pile.

Grace gave you a sharp, confused look for a moment, and you worried you’d said the wrong thing. But then she forced a smile. “Right! That’s… um, exactly why he’s upset, but he really shouldn’t have left his closet in our dorm,” she said, a nervous edge to her voice.

“Serves him right,” you laughed, before glancing at the clothes again. “But on a serious note, could you possibly return these to him? Or maybe I should just throw them out? They’re taking up space, and I keep knocking them over.”

“Oh,” Grace said, eyes widening like she’d just been reminded of something important. She grabbed the pile from you a bit too quickly. “Of course! I’ll do that right now.”

Before you could protest or tell her she didn’t need to rush, she was already out the door, leaving you standing there, even more confused than before.

In her hurried state, she might have noticed the pesky tie that slipped off again. 

You knew you needed to study and catch up on your missing assignments, but any excuse to procrastinate sounded more appealing. Weighing your options for a brief moment, you grabbed the tie and left the room, hoping to catch up with her.

Exiting your out of the common room and bounding down the stairs, you guessed Grace was heading toward the Slytherin area.

Hopefully, you could catch her but luck wasn’t on your side—she was on a mission, and you didn’t spot her once as you made your way through the castle.

The dungeons weren’t a place you frequented, so you were surprised when you managed to navigate there on your first try. 

Upon arriving, you saw Theo trudging down the steps, the pile of clothes in his arms. You faltered, a strange pang coursing through you for reasons you couldn’t explain.

You considered a quick escape, but Theo called your name before you had a chance to move.

“What are you doing down here?” he asked, a touch of surprise in his voice. You didn’t have any classes together today, so it was unexpected to see you. He shifted the clothes under his arm, stepping closer.

“I tried to catch Grace—she dropped this,” you awkwardly gestured to the tie in your hand, “but I guess I found the culprit.”

Theo’s eyes widened at the implication, his heart sinking a bit. “No, these aren’t mine,” he quickly corrected.

You shot him a skeptical look. “So, you and Grace aren’t... involved?” you asked, waving your hand in a vague motion.

Theo scrunched his face in disgust, shaking his head. “No, never. She’s just a friend. She gave these to me to return to one of the guys.”

“Right,” you said, though still not entirely convinced. “Well, make sure he gets his tie back, too.” You draped it over the pile in his arms.

“Right, of course. Thank you for bringing it,” Theo smiled, and any doubt you had about him lying slowly drifted away. You found yourself staring at him, that smile triggering a flash of a memory—the same one from before.

Could it have been real? Theo seemed different now, kinder than you remembered. And how had you never noticed how... easy on the eyes he was?

“Woah, Tesoro, are you okay?” Theo’s voice brought you out of your thoughts, and you realized he had a hand on your shoulder and another gently cupping your cheek. The clothes he’d been holding were forgotten on the ground. 

His face was so close to yours that you instinctively took a step back, but the absence of his touch left you yearning.

“I’m sorry, what?” you said, dazed and confused, not fully processing why he was asking.

“Your nose—it’s bleeding. Let’s get you to sit down,” he said urgently, grabbing the tie and guiding you to a nearby bench. You almost tripped from how sudden it was.

“I’m fine, really, Theodore,” you insisted, brushing it off. “This is probably the fourth one today.” The moment the words left your mouth, you regretted it.

“Fourth?” His tone grew tense, his eyes full of concern. “Are they accompanied by anything else? Headaches? Nausea? Fainting spells?” He inspected you, wiping the blood from your upper lip with the now-ruined tie.

You shrugged, trying to seem unbothered. “Not all the time. I don’t think it’s that serious.”

Theo, however, looked far from reassured. “That’s not normal,” he muttered your name, his worry etched deeply into his face.

“Theo, really, I’m fine. Just a little tired,” you tried to comfort him, but his expression barely softened. Hearing you use his name, though, seemed to snap him back. He pulled back slightly, still visibly rattled. 

“Right, sorry,” he stammered, dropping his hands from you as if your touch burned him. 

“I appreciate the concern, though,” you said, genuinely touched by how much he seemed to care. A stark contrast from the Theo you were used to. “Could we talk later? I have this thing that I can’t seem to figure out.” 

He blinked, seemingly taken aback by your suggestion. In truth, you were a bit surprised by it yourself.

“I have Quidditch practice tonight, but how about tomorrow?” he offered, a bit nervously.

“Perfect,” you grinned. “See you tomorrow then, Theodore.”

He smiled in return, and for a moment, you found yourself wanting to stay and just stare at him. Another part of you still hesitated, wary of his past actions and the memories you couldn’t access. But maybe he had the answers. 

You watched him walk away, a slight spring in his step as he bent to pick up the discarded clothes. He disappeared into the Slytherin common room, the snake door sliding shut. The sight surprisingly comforted you. 

You sat for a moment before finally rising from the bench and starting the walk back to your common room. Your mind was a tangled mix of questions, emotions, and fleeting familiarities that refused to come into focus. It felt like your brain was in overdrive, struggling to fill in blanks without knowing where to start.

The walk back to your dorm felt like a blur, your mind racing with thoughts of how to piece together the gaps in your memory. You needed answers, but the trio seemed determined to keep you out of the loop, offering vague reassurances that only deepened your frustration.

You hated the way they looked at you—like you were fragile, something to be handled with care. It made you feel small, like you weren’t capable of understanding your own situation. The growing silence around what was happening to you was suffocating, and your dorm had become the only place where you didn’t feel on edge.

As you spotted Harry ahead in the corridor, you sped up, determined to find a distraction from the overwhelming pressure of your missing memories. You bumped him lightly with your shoulder, forcing a smile. “Hey, stranger. Haven’t seen you in a while. Want to sneak off to Hogsmeade?”

Harry hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. “Trouble, I would, really, but I’ve got Quidditch practice tonight.”

Your smile faltered, a flicker of confusion crossing your face. If Slytherin had practice, there was no way Gryffindor did too. The rivalry between the two houses was so intense they could barely play fair in an actual game, let alone share the pitch for practice. You opened your mouth to question him, but Harry quickly cut you off.

“Tomorrow, yeah? We can go then. It’s Saturday, so no sneaking required.” Giving you an awkward smile. 

“Right. Tomorrow.” You nodded, but the unease gnawed at you. First Theo, now Harry. The feeling of being lied to—it stung more than you wanted to admit. Harry never hid things from you before, and Theo—well, you didn’t know him well enough to judge, but it still hurt.

You turned away before Harry could say more, heading in the opposite of his direction- mind you was not towards the pitch. 

When you finally reached your dorm and shut the door behind you, the quiet hit you hard. Alone again, the weight of the past few days crashed down. You dropped onto your bed, letting out a shaky breath. The frustration, confusion, and hurt welled up, but you couldn’t bring yourself to cry. You just lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling more isolated than ever.

No one was being honest with you. They were keeping you at arm’s length, treating you like you couldn’t handle the truth. You were left to fend for yourself, with only half the pieces to a puzzle that seemed impossible to solve. You felt pushed aside, only to be dealt with when it was convenient.

It hurt more than you wanted to admit, and the pity party you were throwing yourself was, for the moment, the only thing that felt comforting.

“Fridays, we’ll go to the Astronomy Tower at midnight. It’ll be our thing.”

The words jolted you awake. You blinked, disoriented, scanning the dark room. The moonlight filtered in softly, casting long shadows. You rubbed your eyes and looked around, hoping to find the source of the voice, but the room was silent. Your roommates’ curtains were drawn, and their steady breathing filled the space.

You lay back, trying to make sense of what you’d heard. Maybe it was a dream. Or maybe, another memory trying to break through the haze?

After tossing and turning for what felt like an eternity, it became clear you weren’t going to be able to fall back asleep. Frustrated, you sighed and threw off the covers, slipping on your shoes. Before you knew it, you were out the door, your curiosity leading you through the corridors.

You tiptoed through the common room, careful not to wake anyone. Without Harry’s cloak, you had to rely on the disillusionment spell to stay hidden, but you knew it wasn’t foolproof. 

You navigated the quiet halls, turning corners and climbing staircases with no real sense of direction, yet somehow you felt like you were being pulled somewhere—guided by the echo of those words.

Soon enough, you found yourself at the base of the Astronomy Tower. You hesitated for a moment, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu before your feet carried you up the winding staircase. The ascent felt both familiar and foreign, like a path you had walked countless times. It felt like your body was moving on its own, like it knew something your mind hadn’t caught up to yet.

When you finally reached the top, you paused. The silence of the tower wrapped around you, and with a quiet exhale, you removed the disillusionment spell, standing under the vast, starry sky.

The silence was broken by a cough, jolting you from your thoughts. You nearly screamed, spinning around to see Theo sitting against the railing, watching you with curious eyes.

“Merlin! Theodore, you scared me!” you hissed, clutching your chest as your heart pounded.

“Sorry,” he chuckled, clearly finding your reaction amusing. You glared at him, but he just smiled.

“What are you doing up here?” you asked, exasperated as you stepped closer to where he was sitting.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he smirked. The teasing tone was so typical of him, and despite everything, it brought you some comfort.

You rolled your eyes. “Needed some air. And you?”

“Something like that,” he shrugged, taking a drag from the cigarette between his fingers.

“You know those things will kill you, right?” you said, deciding to sit down next to him. You tucked your legs beneath you, resting your back against the railing.

“I’ve heard,” he replied, exhaling the smoke away from you before flicking the cigarette to the ground and crushing it with his foot.

You bit your tongue, resisting the urge to lecture him about the littering. “Maybe you should take their advice.”

He chuckled softly humming in response, leaning his head back against the railing, eyes closed. For a moment, neither of you spoke. Strangely, you felt more at ease up here with him than you had in days.

With his eyes closed, you stole a glance at his face—the messy hair, the moles dotting his skin, and those lips… You quickly looked away, mentally scolding yourself.

“So,” he said, grabbing your attention. His gaze so focused it made you avert your eyes again, “what really brought you up here?”

“I’m… not sure,” you admitted, fidgeting with the fraying edge of your skirt. “I thought I heard a voice, but it could’ve been a dream. It said something about Astronomy Tower at midnight, and I got curious.”

You noticed Theo’s jaw clench briefly before relaxing again, making you frown slightly. “And you?” you asked, trying to redirect the conversation.

“Just needed some quiet,” he said, hesitating for a moment. “But… what was it you wanted to talk about earlier?”

You had nearly forgotten about that. Now that he asked, the words seemed to stick in your throat. You wanted to say you could wait, let him have his moment of peace, but you needed answers.

“Oh, right,” you sighed, unsure of where to start. “I’m not sure how to explain it.”

“Take your time,” Theo reassured, his voice soft, and you were grateful to see no judgment in his eyes.

You took a shaky breath, trying to gather your thoughts. It was hard to know where to even begin.

“Long story short, I lost a chunk of my memories,” you started, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “And the other day, I think I had a flashback of one… with you?”

Theo immediately straightened himself, his attention fully locked on you.

“I was—um, what was your memory about?” he asked, his voice a little shaky as if he was trying to stay calm, but you could sense a bit of hope behind his eyes.

“Don’t laugh,” you warned, giving him a serious look, though a faint smile tugged at your lips. “We were in the Forbidden Forest, I think. I was upset about a letter, and you came along, and we… burned it. Does that sound familiar at all?” You searched his face, praying that this wasn’t just your imagination playing tricks on you.

Theo’s expression tightened, his brow furrowing as if he was choosing his next words very carefully. He looked torn, like saying the wrong thing might somehow hurt you more.

“It’s just… we only had our first conversation a few days ago, right?” you added, trying to lighten the mood despite the tension.

He grimaced slightly, rubbing his eyes. “No,” he sighed, his voice heavy. “That was a memory. That night in the Forbidden Forest—that was the first time we really talked. I was out there trying to clear my head, had a lot going on, and then I heard you. You were crying. I didn’t expect to find you out there.”

“Have we… had more conversations since that night?” you asked cautiously, feeling a strange mix of relief and confusion.

Theo hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Yeah, we did.” 

“Could you tell me more? Did we hang out after that? Were we friends or just acquaintances? I just feel so lost and confused. You confirming this is the first bit of clarity I’ve had in days,” your voice cracked, the weight of everything you’d been carrying finally slipping through.

Theo’s face shifted, a mixture of pain and hesitation crossing his features. He looked away briefly, his hands gripping the railing beside him. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, careful. “I wish I could tell you everything… I really do.”

He paused, glancing at you before continuing. “But… it’s not that simple.”

Your heart sank at his words, a mix of frustration and sadness settling in your chest. “Why? What’s stopping you?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not that I don’t want to, believe me. We just don’t know what could happen if we sprung all this information onto you, how the spell or you would react if we try to fill in all the gaps. I mean you’re already having nosebleeds and intense migraines from no one even saying anything. If we push too hard, it could make things worse.”

Theo’s voice softened as he continued. “I just don’t want to hurt you more than you’re already hurting.” His eyes searched yours, hoping you’d understand.

You looked away, the sting of disappointment dulling the relief you’d felt just moments ago. “But I need to know, Theo. I can’t keep living like this, with these blanks and half-truths. Everyone’s treating me like I’m fragile, like I’ll shatter if they say the wrong thing.” Your voice trembled, a mix of anger and helplessness rising to the surface.

Theo shifted closer, his hand hovering just above yours before he hesitated and withdrew. “I get it,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “But trust me when I say this—it’s not that we’re all in on some secret without you. We’re just… trying to keep you safe.”

The vulnerability in his eyes made your heart ache. You could see the struggle there, the pull between wanting to protect you and the desire to be honest. He wasn’t just holding back for the sake of secrecy—it was out of concern for you.

“Safe from what?” you asked, your voice thick with emotion. “I feel more trapped than safe. Like I’m stuck behind this wall, and everyone’s watching me struggle without actually helping.”

Theo exhaled, his brow furrowing as he searched for the right words. “I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but we’re doing the best we can. It’s not that we don’t want to tell you—it’s that we don’t know what’ll happen if we do.”

You bit your lip, feeling that familiar swell of frustration rise again. “So I’m just supposed to wait? Until what? Until my memories come back on their own? What if they never do?”

Theo breath stutters and he hesitates. He’s tried his best not to think of that possibility, that you’ll come back to him and this in time would be a funny memory. “I don’t have all the answers. But you’re not alone in this, okay? Even if it feels like it.” 

You wanted to believe him. Despite everything, you could sense that Theo genuinely cared, even if he couldn’t give you the answers you desperately sought. You looked at him, your chest tightening with the mix of anger and sadness swirling inside you. “I just wish I knew what I was missing.”

Theo nodded slowly, his eyes heavy with the weight of things left unsaid. “When the time comes, I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between you. The cool night air seemed to press down, the weight of your shared secrets hanging in the space between you.

Finally, you nodded, feeling a small sense of comfort in Theo’s promise, even if it couldn’t give you what you needed right now.

If you enjoyed, please please reblog or comment! Your words keep me motivated to write and make me so happy <3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[vickyvicarious]

There lay Lucy, seemingly just as we had seen her the night before her funeral. She was, if possible, more radiantly beautiful than ever; and I could not believe that she was dead. The lips were red, nay redder than before; and on the cheeks was a delicate bloom. "She was bitten by the vampire when she was in a trance, sleep-walking—oh, you start; you do not know that, friend John, but you shall know it all later—and in trance could he best come to take more blood. In trance she died, and in trance she is Un-Dead, too. So it is that she differ from all other. Usually when the Un-Dead sleep at home"—as he spoke he made a comprehensive sweep of his arm to designate what to a vampire was "home"—"their face show what they are, but this so sweet that was when she not Un-Dead she go back to the nothings of the common dead. There is no malign there, see, and so it make hard that I must kill her in her sleep."

Hm... Van Helsing believes that Lucy dying in a trance/sleep is why she looks so beautiful and peaceful in her coffin. Others, he thinks, would look dead and evil. But we actually do have accounts of other vampires 'sleeping', so let's compare.

There, in one of the great boxes, of which there were fifty in all, on a pile of newly dug earth, lay the Count! He was either dead or asleep, I could not say which—for the eyes were open and stony, but without the glassiness of death—and the cheeks had the warmth of life through all their pallor; the lips were as red as ever. But there was no sign of movement, no pulse, no breath, no beating of the heart.

Dracula, 25 June

There lay the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half renewed, for the white hair and moustache were changed to dark iron-grey; the cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed ruby-red underneath; the mouth was redder than ever, for on the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the corners of the mouth and ran over the chin and neck. Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood. He lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion. [...] There was a mocking smile on the bloated face which seemed to drive me mad.

Dracula, 30 June

These are the descriptions of vampires at rest which Van Helsing has already read. And Dracula certainly presents an evil appearance in this state... but how much of the horror is really him 'showing his nature', and how much is from Jonathan reacting to it? If we look at the first example, Dracula apparently looks like he might be asleep or dead. He has flushed cheeks and red lips. These are actually completely consistent with Lucy's own appearance. The second time around, he's drunk heavily and is bloated, and that is horrifying to look at, but he also looks much healthier and younger. If not for the bloating and messy eating leaving him covered in blood, his appearance would not necessarily be super alarming. Look again at Lucy:

There lay Lucy, seemingly just as we had seen her the night before her funeral. She was, if possible, more radiantly beautiful than ever; and I could not believe that she was dead. The lips were red, nay redder than before; and on the cheeks was a delicate bloom.

Lucy, 27 September

There are two big differences between her and Dracula on the 25th. First, she has her eyes shut. This helps it look more like sleep than death, and tips the scales towards her not seeming dead. Also, she was very recently dying. She looked pale and thin, exhausted and worn when alive; at least some of the beauty emphasized here may well be in contrast to how she's looked in the last few weeks.

But otherwise, Lucy and Dracula both have flushed cheeks, red lips. They both look almost as though they're sleeping, except for the lack of breathing.

It seems to me that Van Helsing's theory about Lucy's appearance being different in death than other vampires is wrong. It's more just the contrast between eyes open/shut, healthy/ill just before, and of course the viewer's bias (Jonathan already hated and feared Dracula, everyone loved Lucy dearly).

Another spoiler comparison below the cut:

She lay in her Vampire sleep, so full of life and voluptuous beauty that I shudder as though I have come to do murder. Ah, I doubt not that in old time, when such things were, many a man who set forth to do such a task as mine, found at the last his heart fail him, and then his nerve. [...] Then I braced myself again to my horrid task, and found by wrenching away tomb-tops one other of the sisters, the other dark one. I dared not pause to look on her as I had on her sister, lest once more I should begin to be enthrall; but I go on searching until, presently, I find in a high great tomb as if made to one much beloved that other fair sister which, like Jonathan I had seen to gather herself out of the atoms of the mist. She was so fair to look on, so radiantly beautiful, so exquisitely voluptuous, that the very instinct of man in me, which calls some of my sex to love and to protect one of hers, made my head whirl with new emotion.

We get a less thorough description of the other vampire women, but it sounds as though they too looked both asleep rather than dead, and very beautiful. We can presume the same reddened cheeks/lips as being likely. Now, there is the caveat that they appear to have been able to exercise their hypnotic powers over Van Helsing even in this state. Perhaps that is increasing the perception of beauty. But he certainly does not seem to have been able to just tell that they're evil vampires by looking. It's only because he already knows the truth that he is able to act.

I think I personally conclude that:

Dracula's just a freak who likes to sleep with his eyes open, while most have their eyes shut

All vampires look beautiful (or at least better) when asleep, especially if they've recently fed

I also believe that the bigger difference between Lucy and the others lies not in appearance but ability. Dracula could paralyze Jonathan with his stare and was able to magically influence the wind to slam the door shut behind him when he fled. The vampire ladies were able to hypnotize Van Helsing more the longer he looked at them. Lucy, meanwhile, couldn't do anything even as Van Helsing was poking at her teeth and opening her eyelids.

You can either put this down to her being different because of her death in sleep/trance (as VH does), or discard that theory entirely and say this was simply due to her being such a young vampire (or, rather, thanks to them being so much older and more experienced). I tend toward the latter, myself. I also tend to think that very young vampires are likely to be a little more feral at the start, and so any weirdness with Lucy is more because she's brand new. But mileage can vary there.

[loverboyfae]

although humbert humbert is the kind of stereotypical image of a pedophile (does what he does because he’s attracted to children (though i mean unreliable narrator he could be lying)), lolita is SUCH a good text to childhood studies with. like humbert retains power over delores by telling her that he is her only guardian, and that escaping her would mean winding up as a ward of the state where she will be treated even worse. he uses the power he has over her and specifically draws attention to the fact that he has so much power over her because society leaves her completely powerless; were she to go to the police about him, she wouldn’t be able to choose to take care of herself or choose who gains ownership over her in the future, so she might as well stay with the guy who rapes her but at least buys her things

the tragedy of her ending, then, in part is the fact that the only person she could manage to go to for help is someone who will also sexually exploit her, but (at least she believes) less than humbert will. her school notices that she is struggling, but the only recourse they have or even seem interested in is informing the guardian who is causing the abuse, a very common issue for abused children in schools. as much as conservatives hand wring about schools taking over their parental rights, they really have nothing to fear even now into the modern day, as only the most blatant and obvious child abuse can be addressed without involving parents; every other action schools have available to them is to consult the child’s owner, their parent(s), first and foremost. nobody in a child’s life, as lolita reflects, is able to materially aid a child without the parents’ permission or else they are breaking the law. as such, delores’s only chance for escape was to go with a man fine with breaking the law, and that wound up being another pedophile.

the criticism of systems of power in lolita is criminally underdiscussed, but a lot of that is also because criticisms of systems is often glossed over in most discussions of csa. people are somewhat aware that pedophiles, like other rapists, are more interested in power than attraction, but the imbalance of power between child and adult is fully naturalized. while obviously some aspects of that are innate (the physical difference, for example), there is also plenty about that difference in power which is socially and legally constructed, ESPECIALLY between a child and their legal guardian, who retains ownership over them even above the child’s own autonomy

[creatingblackcharacters]

A favorite character of mine is Daja Kisubo from the Circle of Magic series, by Tamora Pierce. This series is about four children who are orphaned and brought to the Circle Temple to be raised, where it is discovered that they all have unusual magic that works through crafting or the elements, called ambient magic, and follows them as they grow and become some of the most powerful mages in the world. 

(Cover art of Cold Fire)

Daja is a Black girl and a Blue Trader (ocean going) whose family died when their ship sunk in the storm.  Daja is the only survivor and so is considered bad luck and sent away to the Circle temple.  At the temple she meets the other three main characters who become her foster sisters and brother, and the two dedicates who become their foster mothers. She also discovers her own magic is in metal and fire and smithing when she meets her mentor, an older Black man and blacksmith, Frostpine.

(Art by @minuiko who has amazing art for this series and Tamora Pierce's other books too)

Daja has always been my favorite because she's strong and steady for the outside world but with her new family and mentor you can see how deeply she feels and the love and support that she gets from them. Also she's so wildly powerful and makes such beautiful crafts and becomes such a good teacher when she's older (also I got my degree in metalworking/jewelry so now we have that in common).  

The series itself has such good world building and a really excellently fleshed out magic system. The first quartet, aimed at younger readers, features the main four as the children become a family, develop their powers, and start to heal the trauma that brought them to the temple in the first place, with Daja reuniting with the Trader people and being able to reestablish bonds, even as she stays with her temple family.

The second quartet has the kids splitting up as journeymen, traveling with their teachers to develop their skills. Each of them finds a mystery to solve and students to teach. Daja's students end up being two mixed Black girls (twins) who are very different and stretch both her patience and her own skills as she has to find separate ways to teach them (much to Frostpine's amusement), as well as solve the mysterious arson cases that are on the rise in town.

In the later books, as young adults, Daja and her siblings reunite and struggle to connect the way they did so easily when they were children. We also get to see her explore her sexuality and discover that she's a lesbian, which was so awesome when it came out and young me read it back in 2005.

These books and Daja especially have always been super important to me since I was a kid, and now honestly I've made myself need to go reread them. 

Hot Chocolate: BLACK WOMEN IN FANTASY LET'S GOOOOO! I always love to see this because they have just as much right to magical powers as everyone else dammit! Anyway this story sounds WONDERFUL, I might make it the next fiction book that I read with my mother, After we read Children of Virtue and Vengeance. Anywho, the story reminds me of one of the D&D campaigns I'm playing in where; 4 of us became foster siblings and are now supporting each other, while figuring out what's the deal with our essentric and powerful king. Not to mention figuring out our place in these positions of power. Daja sounds delightful, and her power set sounds like the Orisha Ogun. I love everything about this!

[quinnyundertow]

The Cult Leader’s Quarry

Chapter 5

Beautiful Bitchy Face

You should have known that something was going to go terribly wrong when you were enjoying yourself a little too much on your date. After his first glass of whiskey Nanami seemed to unwind a little bit and let down his guard. His fingers moving to roll up the sleeves of his navy dress shirt. The corded muscle of his forearms distracting you from whatever it was he was saying. The two of you are enjoying the time alone at the table discussing novels now as Gojo and Zoe move with the crowd on the packed dance floor.

Nanami’s deep honeyed voice calls your name again to get your attention. You feel yourself flush as you look up quickly. “I’m sorry, what was that?” You use your distraction as an excuse to get a little closer as if you are having trouble hearing. Your hand lightly rests on his bicep as you lean towards him.

He glances down to where your smaller hand gently lays on his arm. Butterflies of giddiness he isn’t used to feeling flutter inside him. The tips of his ears and high cheekbones are tinted red from a pleasurable mix of excitement and embarrassment. He can’t remember the last time he felt his heart race like this for a positive reason. Maybe it never has. You have a lot in common so far and that was the last thing he was expecting from a date Gojo had set up.

Taking your movement into his space as a good sign he leans a little closer. Nanami’s always been so busy chasing curses that he hasn’t ever taken the time to chase skirts. His sensual lips are moving by your ear. “I asked if I could buy you another mojito?”

A happy shiver rolls down your spine as you nod, “I’d like that.” He’s close enough to you now that you can smell his heavenly mixture of man, sandalwood, spice and whiskey. He looks reluctant to move away as he gestures for another round from a nearby waitress.

You leave your hand on his arm lightly. You’re relishing in the difference in textures; the crisp dress shirt, his light masculine blonde arm hair and the warmth of his pale skin beneath your fingers.

From the corner of your eye you see someone casually slip into the empty seat across from Nanami. The new voice being smooth and sensual with a hint of warning as they address your date, “Well, isn’t this nice? When Satoru claimed he had found a replacement for me this evening I didn’t imagine it would be the ever stoic Nanami, Kento.”

You can sense something is wrong long before your vision can see it. Nanami’s relaxed posture tightens up and exudes hostility immediately in response to the uninvited guest. You’re turning in confusion, your gaze landing on a man with closed eyes and a Cheshire smile. It’s only when he opens his eyes and you see the dangerous glint within that you register this isn’t just a random stranger. It’s him. He's so staggeringly beautiful it’s hard to look at him. His features, so prettily crafted, make him appear like a fallen angel. His raven hair is pulled into a messy bun with only a small bit of bangs resting to cradle his face. He’s wearing the same gauges as the last two times you ran into one another. The only difference now is several more piercings on both ears and onyx metal snakebite piercings that pull your gaze down to his lips.

If it wasn’t for his, better than you posture and tone of voice, you might have thought it was a different person entirely. The iconic monk robes are gone. His black button up dress shirt is worn casually. The fabric pulls tauntingly over his muscular chest and arms. The top two buttons undone so a bit of his chest is exposed. He isn’t looking at you. In fact he is refusing to acknowledge your existence to the point where he’s actively ignoring you.

The silence around the table drags as Nanami’s jaw flexes in agitation, “Suguru Geto.” He spits the name out like it’s a curse.

Geto raises a wry brow in response, “How formal.”

The waitress comes by the table carrying the two fresh drinks for you and Nanami. She misses the hostile atmosphere and greets your newest party member happily, “Good evening, can I get you anything from the bar?”

Before Geto can respond Nanami is frowning deeply, “No, he was just leaving.”

Tilting his head with a hum, Geto asserts, “Actually, I think I’ll stay for a while. Let me get what he’s having.”

“Right away.” The young lady chirps with a flirty wink before disappearing back into the throng of bodies.

Geto’s lip curls in disgust at her retreating form. “I don’t know how you can stand to be surrounded by all this monkey stench.” His eyes roam the room with disdain.

Your stomach dropped in panic when the man you now know is named Suguru Geto states his intention to stay. You try to rein in your fear, pulse pounding in your ears. Your fingers are turning white and tightening on Nanami’s arm. It’s only now that Nanami seems to notice your fearful expression. His hand moves to hold the back of the stool you are seated in. An effortless tug of the metal frame moves you so you're pulled slightly behind his own seated form.

The gesture makes you feel a little safer but Geto just laughs in response. “You don’t have to be so cold, Nanami. I have no problem with you.”

You can hear Nanami’s teeth practically grinding in irritation, “I can’t say I feel the same.” His tone is short and to the point. Your vision tracks around the crowded room. No Zoe or Gojo present. Nanami continues, “There are orders to bring you into custody, if encountered, dead or alive.”

Geto doesn’t look particularly surprised or even interested at this news. “Is that so? Do you think you can manage it?”

“No, I’m not an idiot.” The tone Nanami uses sounds bitter and resigned. You had no clue what they are talking about. Is Nanami a police officer? You wouldn’t be surprised if this Suguru Geto is a wanted criminal.

Geto stretches nonchalantly, several silver rings inlaid with black diamonds flash in the low lighting. The waitress brings Geto’s drink over, her posture excited to have an excuse to interact with the handsome man once more, “So what brings-.”

The girl barely gets three words out when without so much as a glance Geto does a rude shooing motion with his hand. The woman draws back in surprise at the attitude but rolls her eyes before turning away.

“Thank you!” You call after her retreating form, the placating words coming out of your mouth before you consider if they should.

Only at that do Geto’s eyes lazily move from Nanami’s gaze to your own. He scrutinizes you for a moment. His gaze is so intense that it feels like he’s pulling you into his coal shaded orbs. There’s something strange in his expression. The emotion shown is so brief that you would later think you had only imagined it; a sliver of wistfulness, longing, maybe even regret. But as soon as it came the vulnerability was gone. His eyes return to Nanami and he gives that closed eye grin. His hand disappears into his pants pocket only to emerge with some sort of small bottle of disinfecting spray. He sprays himself a few times as Nanami stares at him in confusion.

“It’s the only thing that helps with the monkey stench.” Geto replies nonchalantly as Nanami’s face shows incredulity.

The muscle in Nanami’s jaw ticks, “I thought it was an exaggeration, but you really did go insane.”

“No, I simply began to understand my worth. You’d do well to learn your own as well.” He cuts a glance at you, his lip curling in genuine revulsion, “Then you won’t lower yourself to dating something so beneath you.”

You have had enough. This crazy ass cult leader didn’t even know the first thing about you and he’s just smiling away as he insults you to your face. Your fingers tighten against the drink in your hand. The glass perspiring and wetting your fingers in the warm room. It almost feels like time is moving in slow motion as you jerk your arm forward and watch with satisfaction as the alcohol inside it sloshes over the rim and across the table. The action was so unexpected, so outside of any response you’ve had thus far, that he didn’t see it coming until it splattered across his beautiful bitchy face. The table is absolutely silent as the liquid drips down his nose and mouth. One or two ice cubes slide into his shirt as they fall to the floor.

Your aim was uncharacteristically spot on. Nanami has a look of horror on his face as he moves to stand between you and the now drenched curse user. Geto’s eyes are still closed when the deathly quiet is shattered by hysterical laughter from none other than Satoru Gojo. Of course he and Zoe chose now of all moments to emerge from the dance floor.

You’re tempted to make a break for it but find yourself frozen in place as the man you just soaked turns to meet your eyes. Finding your courage you stand and lean around Nanami to address this Suguru Geto, “I don’t know who the hell you think you are but I’m done taking shit from some pretty boy with a God complex! Get over yourself, you're not better than anyone else in here. If anything you’re worse because you survive by leeching off of the same people you look down on. What a pathetic existence that is.”

You expect rage, for him to stand up and try to strike you. Instead he’s staring at you with a mix of malice and amusement. His smile is stretched into almost a grimace, his cheek twitching. Geto’s tone is clipped when he finally speaks, “Are you quite finished?” You don’t respond but your hand lowering to place the glass back on the table is answer enough for him. He sounds mocking and condescending as he answers his own query, “That’s what I thought.” He pauses briefly, his head tilting slightly as he watches you. It reminds you of the way a snake watches its prey before it strikes. “You’re feeling very brave today. Hiding behind a sorcerer's back.”

Your brow furrows in confusion at him calling Nanami a sorcerer. This guy really is crazy. You step to the side, moving closer to Zoe and Gojo. Your intent, more importantly, is to move out from behind Nanami’s protective shadow. Your visage is challenging as you tilt your head up in defiance.

At some point Gojo had stopped laughing. The sounds of the club are interrupted by a different laugh this time. Geto barks out a singular sharp “Ha!” He’s starting to look manic now. His pupils dilating as he fixes you with a crooked grin. “You’ll do well to remember this moment when you are sobbing for mercy later.”

He says the threat so casually that you can’t help but question if you heard him correctly. The response of those around you lets you know you did. Gojo is stepping forward to speak to Geto as Nanami ushers both you and Zoe into the crowd and towards the nearest exit.

Zoe looks panicked when you meet her eyes. She’s peering around Nanami and cycling between Geto and Gojo at the table. Her vision finally landing on you as the three of you quickly leave. Her free hand grabs on to your own. Not to pull you back or make you stop but to give reassurance. She’s leaning forward, her voice an urgent whisper, “What the hell is going on? Are you okay?”

You glance at her quickly before talking over your shoulder. “I am so fucked.”

Zoe looks confused, glancing back one last time at the two gorgeous men they left behind. She can’t help but feel a shiver go down her spine at the way the alternative looking guy is staring you down. “I’m assuming this is not a good fuck?”

“This is really not the time.” You whine. Your breath catches in your throat as Nanami’s hand rests on your lower back and pulls you closer to his side as you pass a particularly rowdy group of drunks. Zoe trails close behind, essentially walking in the wake of people Nanami leaves. Her eyebrows wiggle with a barely concealed snicker seeing you flush so hard up against the man’s massive pectorals.

A rush of cool air and the muffling of music lets you know the moment you appear outside the club. Your group moves over to the side so you don’t obstruct the entrance as you look up at Nanami a little guiltily. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted like- “.

You’re momentarily stunned when the stoic man starts laughing. He raises a hand and clears his throat to try and mask the sudden outburst. “You really shouldn’t have.” His tone is chiding but there’s a glint of amusement in his eyes. “That said, I was about to reach over the table and make a bigger scene than you did.” He’s looking down at Zoe, an apology ready, “I’m sorry I whisked you out of there so fast as well.”

The corner of Zoe’s mouth twitches as she tries to hold back giggles. Hand fluttering, she waves him off while stepping away from you two, “Don’t mind me. I’m just a fly on the wall. A cigarette butt on a street corner.” She was definitely still buzzed despite the excitement earlier. As she steps further away and out of Nanami’s line of sight she flashes you a giddy thumbs up that has you hold back a fit of laughter. You are definitely not sober either.

Nanami’s glancing behind him at the club his face pinched in concern, “I’m not worried about Gojo’s well being but I should get back in there for damage control.” He frowns at you for a moment before asking, “How were you ladies planning on getting home?”

You glance in the general direction of the metro station, “We’re just taking the train.”

“Home?!” Zoe’s loud interruption is followed by the sound of her hand slapping her mouth shut. “Ignore me, I’m just a leaf on a tree. A-a cricket on a- shit..” She mumbling out some other crackpot analogies as Nanami turns back towards you.

“I’m really not a fan of not walking a date home after. Can I call you a car?”

It’s your turn to wave him away. Despite the chaos of the evening your blind date had been an unexpectedly pleasant experience. “No, we’re fine. We take the train home from this station after work everyday.”

Zoe leans forward talking to no one in particular, “A ride home would be nice.” You’re giving her a reproachful look as she turns her face away so as not to see it.

Nanami already has the phone to his ear by the time you turn back to insist you’re fine. “Yes, I’m sending my location. I need a driver to take two ladies home.” The person on the other line must have asked something uncomfortable as Nanami’s cheeks turn crimson. His fingers fiddling with his tie awkwardly, “You’ll have to take it up with Gojo. He’s the one who- right. Thank you.” Nanami hangs up the phone without further comment. His warm hazel eyes meet yours for a moment as he clears his throat, ��I need to get back in there. Do you- Can we exchange numbers?”

You can’t help the giddy feeling that races through you at the thought of a prospective second date. You’re smiling from ear to ear as you fish your phone out of your purse. “Sure, I’d like that.”

He nods, opening his contacts and passing the phone over while you do the same. He clears his throat again as he finishes typing and holds your phone back to you. “If anything unusual or strange happens, you shouldn’t hesitate to reach out.”

Your stomach drops, the giddiness extinguishing. “Oh, right. Okay then.” What was with these guys and referencing something strange. What even qualifies as something strange?

All hope for a second date flies out the window as the man bows his head to you and Zoe before going back inside the club.

Zoe walks up to stand beside you. “Sooo, you wanna tell me what that was all about?”

~~

Heart racing, blood pumping, nerves alight and senses tingling. His erection is straining against his suit pants; his thigh tacky with precum. It’s a little past two am. The parking lot is dark and full of vehicles. His own exorbitantly expensive sports car looks out of place in this middle class area. He doesn’t bother to lock it. One of his curses lazes in front of it, its directive to kill anyone who tries to tamper with the luxury vehicle.

Suguru’s footsteps echo off the pavement as he approaches your apartment complex. Even after going into the mens room at the club and washing his face off, he still feels that stickiness on him from where your drink had landed. His shirt, no longer damp, still reeks of booze and lime. His cock twitches painfully in his pants just thinking about the way you attempted to bare your fangs at him. You reminded him of a feral kitten; simply adorable and harmless as you tried to draw blood.

If Satoru hadn’t been there tonight he might have lost control at the bar. He had found you almost immediately in the crowd when he entered. His eyes drawn to your presence. You had your hands all over a man. It hadn’t even registered immediately to him that it was Nanami leaning into you; speaking in your ear as you laughed gaily. Of course Satoru would drag another sorcerer into this. It was all just one big game to his white haired foolish friend.

Fucking Satoru and his medlsome nature. If he hadn’t interfered Suguru would have bent you over the table in front of everyone. Taken his belt to your ass right there until you viscerally understood that your bratty attitude would not be tolerated. No, he should thank Satoru. He would have had to kill everyone in that club after they saw you exposed and writhing beneath him. Satoru’s presence had forced his rage into a simmer, turning the heat down from that roiling boil you left inside him.

Your apartment door stands only feet in front of him now. He resists the urge to break the hinges with a powerful kick. The curse he summons simply turns the lock from the inside. The door slowly creaks open to invite him in. It’s dark. If not for the artificial city lights outside your window it would be pitch black inside. Suguru reaches out a hand with black painted nails to shut the door after him. The bolt lock slowly clicking into place. He doesn’t want to be interrupted tonight.

The front door opens up to your kitchen. He considers leaving your present on the counter like he originally intended. But you didn't really deserve it right now. Maybe he’d change his mind after he was done with you. Right now he needs you to understand your position on his modified food chain.

Suguru’s breath is picking up as he passes through your kitchen and makes his way down the hall to your bedroom. He’s excited, ecstatic, aroused. He likes the unexpected fight you showed him this evening. He wants to take his time breaking it out of you. His fingers levitate over your bedroom door knob for a moment before he goes to swing it open.

~~

Satoru Gojo and Nanami Kento stand outside on top of an apartment complex adjacent to the one you’re asleep in. The night is chilly but neither man seems to notice as they wait to see if Suguru Geto will show himself. Nanami is more than a little irritated at his snowy haired colleague and Gojo is aware and simply doesn’t care right now. The mood is tense and only after several hours have passed and the lights inside turn off does Nanami finally speak. “Why haven’t you put him down yet?”

Gojo turns to look at Nanami, the blindfold not impairing his vision at all. “Put him down? He’s not a damn dog.” Gojo tries to mask the irritation in his tone but knows he’s unsuccessful. He comes across as sarcastic and agitated.

Nanami turns to meet his gaze head on. He’s never been one to shy away from confrontation. Especially when he feels like it concerns something ethical. “You’re right. A dog would do a hell of a lot less damage.”

Gojo turns away without comment. It’s not until Nanami starts to think he’s going to be ignored that Gojo finally breaks the stalemate. “You went to school with him too. Even if you didn’t like him. How can you just say something like that?”

Crossing his arms, Nanami's lips turn down into a deep frown. “Gojo, he’s a murderer.”

Gojo spins on the slightly shorter man, his canines glittering as he bites out, “So am I and so are you!” His tone is vicious.

Nanami’s response is firm. “It’s not the same thing and you know it. We’ve killed curse users or people turned into curses. We don’t kill innocent people.”

A sarcastic laugh leaves Gojo’s throat, “We don’t know if the people Suguru is killing are innocent.”

“He killed everyone in a village, surely they were all not guilty of crimes deserving death. Gojo, he killed his parents.”

Gojo doesn’t want to hear this. He can’t ignore the atrocities Suguru has committed when Nanami keeps shoving them in his face. The next line he speaks is under his breath like he doesn’t even believe what he’s saying, “Someone else can do it.”

Nanami feels his temper explode, “Like hell they can!” He’s grabbing Gojo by the shoulders and shaking him violently. The fact that Gojo is allowing it is lost on Nanami in the moment. “You know damn well you’re the only one capable of beating him in a fight! It’s your responsibility as the strongest to-.”

Gojo gives a sarcastic chuckle that catches Nanami off guard, “Yeah, well you know what Nanami? I never asked to be the strongest! I never asked to be seen as a weapon; to be used at society’s whim. I’m a human fucking being with feelings of my own. So you wanna know when am I going to “put down” my best and only friend? When I fucking feel like it!”

Gojo activates his infinity and Nanami feels his grip on the man in front of him release. Without another word Gojo sits down facing the apartment complex’s parking lot. A long gap of time passes in silence. Both men rehashing in their heads the words they said. Eventually, Nanami lets out a deep breath. He’s not about to apologize for anything he’s said and neither is Gojo but at least they know where each other is coming from whether it’s right, wrong, or somewhere in between.

Nanami sinks down to sit next to Gojo. His posture is less aggressive as he genuinely tries to understand this evening, “At least tell me why all this.” He gestures around him at the apartment complex, his implication clearly the involvement of the two non-sorcerer girls. “You dragged me into this and I at least deserve the answer to that.”

A long moment goes by before Gojo finally speaks. His tone defeated, “That mask he wears. That smile. The only time I’ve seen it slip since he left was when it involved the girl you went out with.”

Chapter 4

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura is the youngest of team 7

Let’s talk about a hot topic rn in regards to Sakura… the age order of the rookies. Tbh, I don’t think it’s a big deal but I’m tired seeing misinformation going around.

It’s been the common belief for many years that Sakura is the oldest member of team 7 because of the thought that the Naruto universe follows the American school system for age. However, if we use the Japanese school system then she would be the youngest of her entire graduating class.

What is used by many to back that Sakura is older is the information derived from the databook 4 character files. In those entries it follows that Shino is the oldest and Hinata is the youngest of the rookies. Sakura is said to be 17 during the war and Naruto (as we all know) turned 17 at the end of the war. This would indicate a following of the American school system for the ages.

However, databook 1 goes against this information. In this databook, it takes place in the middle of the chunin exams. For the character files it states that all of the rookies graduated at the age of 12 and that all of them are still 12 while under examination for promotion to chunin. Why does this matter? The only way for this to be possible is if it follows the Japanese school system and let me explain why.

In chapter 11 of the Naruto manga, kakashi states that “it’s springtime” during the Land of Waves arc. This whole arc lasts about a month and they enter into the chunin exam almost immediately after returning. In Japan, spring is from March to May and graduation takes place from mid to late March. Furthermore, the Japanese school system works where children with birthdays from April to March of the following year are placed in the same class. This lines up perfectly with the information here as if they graduate in late March then all of the rookies would be 12 when becoming genin and for the exam.

Now, you might say “well why should we trust one databook over the other?” Well, if you look at databook 3 it still follows that all of the rookies graduated at the age of 12, which follows what was said in the first databook. The entire timeline of Naruto is very difficult to follow without looking to extreme detail (which I don’t have time or care for). However, the wave arc being in spring is an easy find and sets up the storyline for it to follow the Japanese school system/year.

Even with all of this being said, I have seen plenty of people argue that “Naruto doesn’t take place in Japan and therefore doesn’t follow their school year.” Now let me ask, why would Kishimoto, a Japanese man who has used lots of Japanese history and folklore in his series and even said much of the scenery was based on Okayama (which is in Japan), not use the Japanese school year? Why would he use the American system instead? It makes no sense. The only logical conclusion is that Naruto follows the Japanese system and that databook 4 ages were a mistake.

Kishimoto himself has never officially come out to state the age order and there are no direct references of it in the manga. The only thing absolutely certain is that Sasuke is older than Naruto, which we all know and doesn’t help at all. Now, there is one scene in chapter 18 that could give us a clue that Sakura is the youngest, but it’s all perspective imo. Kakashi calls Sakura “our young lady,” which although doesn’t confirm anything, it does indicate or imply that she is the youngest of the team. Otherwise there would be no reason for kakashi to point that out instead of just calling her “our lady.”

Anyway, what I saw rekindle this debate was the apology that Shueisha released regarding some official Naruto merchandise that came out back in 2023. In this apology they admitted to getting the ages of Sakura and Gaara during the war arc wrong and changed the info cards of the characters from 17 to 16. In addition, Sakura's character description (for the war) in one of the Naruto videogames (Borutage) also places her at the age of 16 during this arc. Many fans say that these technically aren't "official" sources to confirm her age, but aside from the databooks, which contradict themselves, these are the only other sources of her age in the war. It's also something to consider that Shueisha went out of their way to make a public apology on the matter and corrected themselves. The databooks have plenty of mistakes, so if they apologized for one mistake then they would have to do it for all. Meaning, it's best if they don't.

Also, I have seen some fans say that this illustration was released by shonen jump, but I haven’t found any proof of that being the case. Nonetheless, I will still place it below as it provides a visual for the birth order and you can use your own discretion if you think it’s official.

Anyway, that's my two cents on the matter of age order. Cheers!

[abirddogmoment]

We're learning about grouse hunting together!

I was really undecided on whether I wanted to hunt with Rory for realsies because I don't have a shotgun and I don't really care to get a shotgun (I have a gun license from my time up north). I have a small air rifle and a tactical slingshot (both legal for hunting small game in my area) so I've been taking those for walks in hunting areas, along with all my permits and stuff, just to see what we see.

This grouse woods is in the same corner as my swamp, just a different part of the rec area. You can legally hunt small game during the open season with dogs with some restrictions (certain distance from the parking, some trails close for hunting on a rotational basis for maintenance, etc.) but it's not terribly popular so it's a really good area to learn. We are looking for ruffed grouse and rabbit, both of which are super common out here.

With pointing dogs like britts, you generally don't want to shoot any game unless they're pointing steady (*except when doing gun conditioning, but that's a specific training set up) - it makes sense because a shot bird is the ultimate reward and you want to make sure you're reinforcing the behaviour you want, which is usually a safe steady point. Rory isn't pointing steady yet so there's really not much for me to do on these walks besides reinforce good manners (recall, how far she ranges, etc.).

There's a really well known saying in pointing dogs, which is wild birds make bird dogs. Wild birds flush (fly away) much more reliably than farmed birds so the chances of a dog catching a wild bird is really minimal compared to farmed birds. It's super important to get young bird dogs on wild birds as much as possible so they learn all the important skills: how to navigate terrain, what habitat holds birds, what each bird species smells like, how far they can range, and most importantly, that they need a person to actually get a bird.

(Most of these skills can be taught with planted birds in training, but planted birds may be more habituated to people and dogs so they might not flush reliably. Once pointing dogs learn that they can catch birds themselves, it's much harder to foster a strong stop and point. You might see people using these tip ups, which protect the training bird from the dog. You'll often see training dogs on long lines (called check cords) or with a flank collar to reinforce not getting too close to the bird, but you have to phase those out quickly so the dog doesn't become dependent on them. You also have to be really careful with scent trails when setting up planted birds or you might end up with a dog that follows your scent instead of looking for birds organically. And of course, you have to train without birds sometimes so the dog doesn't get discouraged about not finding birds quickly because sometimes there just aren't birds out there. Lots to consider when setting up training!)

Anyway I've been trying to get Rory out on wild birds as much as possible (with the caveat that we don't run wild birds during nesting season) so we're wandering the grouse woods lately. My early recall training is really paying off because she's been super reliable in terms of good manners, it's wonderful to see!

We've been out four times (1-2 hours each) so far since the season opened. The first two times we're mostly just a pleasant walk in the woods, Rory didn't really know what we were doing so she was just vibing (THIS IS TOTALLY FINE, SHE'S NEW TO THIS). We had a couple chance grouse encounters and I could see the wheels turning, I encouraged her to sniff around where the grouse were sitting before they flew off and I watched her start to connect the dots.

(It's important to remember that dogs don't know what they're looking for until you show them. Most bird dogs are naturally birdy, but they don't know which birds are good and which birds are boring! You have to show them which birds you care about - this is easiest if you can run with an experienced hunting dog, but you can do it alone like I am by making a big deal about any interest in the "correct" birds.)

The last time we went out to the grouse woods, she did a couple of really nice whip-arounds when she caught scent she liked and followed scent off the trail I was walking! This is the behaviour I want to see so it was awesome to watch it start to click! She trailed a moose (don't want that, she found some moose pee to roll in so whatever), a pileated woodpecker (again, don't want that but it was cool to see), and two separate grouse. The first was on the wrong side of the fence so I couldn't do anything about it but she held a really nice point (the photo) and I gave her a ton of chicken and praise for it. The second was a quick point but it flushed really far away so there was no finding it again. Both birds weren't visible when she found them, they were true scent points and she was strategically looking for them so that was super cool!

She's still in heat and super sensitive right now so I wouldn't shoot over her anyway, but I'm getting pretty accurate with my slingshot so I'm hoping we can connect on something this fall - both for her pointing steady and me aiming properly. She gets more steady and more sure of herself every time we go out so it's only a matter of time!

[sweetieviktor]

viktor x librarian!reader (headcanons + tiny scenarios)

summary: how you've meet each other, when you feel in love and your first exchange of "i love you"s.

content warning: just tooth rotting fluff and cuteness between those two. :D

author notes: i know that sooo many people writed this same idea but i can't help it, it's just so cute and so good to write!! when i was writing, the words came almost instantly and gods, i love to write fluff so much!! oh, and today, when i was re-reading this with my friend i was thinking the whole time "damn i love him" ((and i was awoken until 3am yesterday trying to finish this one but i feel sleep and couldn't end it, but i finished it this morning and now, at night time, im posting in here! anyways, hope you guys like it. :)

» the moment the doors hang open, you turn to see who it is, and as you do so, the whole world stops.

» the prettiest man you've ever seen in your life just came into the library you work in. literally, the prettiest man.

» the way his fluffy hair falls around his face and his curious eyes keep looking at everything, scanning all corners of the room, every little thing he can, shining whenever he sees something he likes.

» and his boyish little smile, barely showing his teeth, that he was giving while talking to a furry someone just by his side.

“oh hi, dear friend!” waving, heimerdinger spoke, walking with tiny, fast steps in your direction, pausing when he was close to you. meanwhile the boy beside him was walking a little slower, his cane thudding softly against the floor.

he stopped near the yordle and looked at your face, giving a polite smile, offering to you his non-occupied hand, and you shaked it, giving him a smile of yours. “i’m viktor, heimerdinger's assistant. he said you could help me with some resources i might need, and i would very much appreciate any help your books could provide.”

“i hope you don't mind him coming here to do some researches, friend. he may come here often!” the yordle laughed, looking between the two of you and then walking away.

“ehhh.. so, do you have any books about-”

» basically, this is how you and viktor knew each other, through a friend in common. and, from this day on, he came to the library more and more often.

» at first, he just showed up, asked for a book you could provide and got out of the establishment. then, he tried to strike up a small talk with you whenever he was waiting for you to look up said books. now, he just straight up rants about any experiment he may be doing at the time.

» and if you're genuinely interested in his rant, he could go for hours just explaining every little detail to you, and he would love every second of it.

» because now he is a regular, you just analyze what he is up to in the most recent days and choose some books that might be useful to him, putting them in the drawer, below the reception desk. and when this happened for the first time he was almost flustered, because you cared enough to look up, sort and search for things that he didn't even asked for.

when you heard the door swing open, you looked at it's direction, smiling as you realized who it was. “hey, viktor! welcome again!” it was the third time this week he got to the library, looking for the same type of books, so you just worked a bit ahead this time. “i don't know if it is exactly what you need but i think that you could use these ones, they have some information you might like.”

“but i still didn't ask for anything..?” he stared at you with a puzzled face, trying to understand why you were giving him those.

“i just think it goes along with your research. also, i wanted to help.” you shrugged, smiling brightly at him.

and maybe this was when he thought for the first time “damn.. i might be in love.”

» after this, he always tried to stay closer to you, to say things you might like, to show you that he cared for you just as much as you cared for him.

» he even brought coffee (he got sweet milk for himself) and pastries for you both to share one day. and this was for sure one of the best excuses to transform a boring afternoon with no clients, into a lazy reading session, this, of course, until a client came and ruined the cutesy atmosphere between the two of you.

» of course he thought about asking you out before, but it was hard. he wasn't used to the feeling of love, of liking someone so deeply like this. so what could he do besides admire you everyday he was in your library? look at you with pure adoration, chuckle lightly whenever you said something that wasn't even that funny, and after it all just show you the most beautiful, bright and in love smile.

» he didn't like to belittle himself, but he really think you would be better with someone that wasn't him. you were so different, yet so alike him, it almost felt like it was meant to be.

» then, in one of his “oh, i will stay here for 15 more minutes and then i'll go home” times (that never lasted 15 minutes, to be honest), it was almost closing time, all of your coworkers were in their homes, no more clients in, simply, not a soul in there. only you both.

» you kept looking in his direction from afar, thinking to yourself how could you get someone so intelligent, so brilliant, so beautiful, so... him. you knew what you wanted, but again, it was hard. and, if saying your feelings out loud was way too scary, writing it all down seemed easier. so, you picked up a pen and a paper, writing in it everything that was inside your chest, your heart. you poured all your feelings into every word that you scribbled down.

» until you heard him packing up his stuff. you started to panic, and now there was only two options, leave the paper as it was and try to act neutral, or try to hide it and look even more nervous? well, there's no time to think! he was already in front of you while your head was spiraling nonstop.

“hey... you are fine? you look stressed.” he examined your face, tilting his head to the side, admiring every little feature of yours. your pretty eyes, your nose, your kissable lips...

“yes! i'm completely fine, no need to worry!” you put your hands on top of the little confession, smiling anxiously, hoping that he don't notice the sweet words you wrote down just for him.

“oh, what did you got there?” he looked at the paper, then at you, and back to paper. on a common day you would like to have his focus only on you, but it was making you even more nervous now, your stomach was turning itself, your hands were cold and trembling. and when he noticed it, he took your hand in his, and you could feel that he was shaking too. “hey... look,” he took a deep breath, almost like he didn't want to continue, like he was still choosing the right words to say. “i understand that some things we just want to keep them personal, only for ourselves. so, ehh, you don't have to show me what you wrote.”, he said with a nervous smile displayed on his lips, while caressing your knuckles with an almost feather-like touch, too afraid to ruin the moment and lose you right now.

and you didn't want to lose him too. even with your brain telling you that you shouldn't tell him, your heart knew you needed to say it, breaking itself or not. so it was now or never. “well... recently i've been thinking about our friendship, about what it could possibly be, about you.” you averted your gaze to the ground, wishing that you came up with fancier words and a better way to confess to him before it all, but you couldn't turn back now. “honestly i can't stop thinking about you, it's like you consumed every logical thought in my brain, everything that wasn't... you.” finally you looked at his eyes, just to see he already looking at you, eyes finally shining for you, because of you. “i love you, viktor. with everything in me, i really love you.” it seemed so right to say these three little words to him, to let him know how you felt since the first time you've seen him.

“and i love you too.” he came closer to you, still with his hand on yours, but now holding it gently, intertwining your fingers together, pressing quickly his lips in yours, smiling in pure awe, completely lovestruck after it. “i love you more than anything, my little star.”

[bitter-panacea]

Goultard's accidental queer coding

(And, incidentally, why I headcanon Goultard as transfem/not cis)

Disclaimer : i say goultard's queer coding is accidental because i really dont believe that gou was intended to be read as queer when tot wrote him. Nonetheless, the subtext is still present and i believe any queer person would assume goultard to be somewhat queer while reading the manga. Interpretation can be different from intention. Also, and this applies to most of what i post, i share my personal analysis and interpretation and everyone is free to have their own.

(I got lazy and don't want to format this post properly, so this mess is what you get lol)

Pariah to hero.

Goultard was an outcast since he was born. A very common trope in queer coding.

After he proves himself worthy by showing he can be of use to the village. He's respected, adored, almost worshipped. But only as long as he fulfills the narrow role people want and expect from him. He's rejected and insulted as soon as he doesn't fit into this role.

Strict traditional masculine gender roles are forced on him. The protector. Stronger than any opponent, stronger than himself and his emotions...

I also think of his condition of being a son of iop, this sword of damocles hanging over his head, as a nature that is imposed onto him over and over again when he didnt choose it and doesnt want it. Being a warrior is supposedly in his blood its what hes good at and therefore should do, settling down and having a family is supposedly contrary to this nature. Even though its what makes him the happiest.

I wonder if traditional gender roles vary from one class to another. Is there any specificity between iop men and iop women. If iop men are by default considered more iop than iop women. Is feminity synonym with weakness for iops. Must a iop woman choose to never settle down and stay a real iop or abandon her warrior status/her iopness to raise offspring at home while the iop men can keep fighting. Maybe class affects the form sexism takes.

Ive joked about gou being in a polycule with three outcast witches being proof he isnt cishet and that the three of them were waiting for gou to figure his shit out... kinda real

After being possessed by the symbiote,

(Which can also be seen as him failing at his role of protector, failing to protect his family. He blames himself for it) the way he's rejected, dehumanized, called a monster, a creature, specifically not a man, and at the same time mocked, can be very reminiscent of queer phobia.

His relationship with the symbiote is reffered as them being a couple and compared to a romantic/sexual relationship.

It feels to me like, while gou was possessed, and shortly after, he could allow himself to step out of that preconceived idea of masculinity that comes with being a "hero", and indulge in the gray areas. Not a human or a demon, not a god or a mortal, not a man or a woman. While still having deeply internalized cisheteronormativity, grasping for some "normality" whenever he's faced with someone else's opinion of him. Needing to justify and prove he is not queer, prove he's man enough, prove he isnt weak, like he needs to convince himself as well as everyone else. Hating the subject but bringing it up unprompted. Always overcompensating.

There is something reminiscent of being in a queer relationship for the first time and it happens to be incredibly abusive. You might feel like the abuse is worth it if it means being allowed to be more authentically yourself, you tell yourself your abuser understands you and loves you for who you really are even if they hurt you, and the queerness of the relationship isolates you, making it impossible for you to get help to leave said relationship.

But much later, when his reputation got better (how much did he have to do with it, how much of his reputation is what he carefuly build it to be) and he had to take his father's power and become the new iop god, the pressure to act a specific way, to fit into this box, would have come back. The whole "iops dont cry" thing with gou denying and hiding his emotions in wakfu.

He's often reduced to that image of the unbeatable warrior, the ideal masculinity, the very definition of what a iop should be... what he thinks he should be.

He gets enraged at his fans for essentially worshipping a fake idealized and shallow version of him, making money off of his image and reputation, but rejecting him as a person, his humanity. They dont want to know who he truly is. He wants to be respected for his heroic actions, not because of this fake idealized vision people have of him.

(isnt it fucking hilarious that this is exactly what wakfu and a lot of the fandom does to him too sorry I'll stop being a hater).

Goultard's reputation and how he feels about it is a fascinating subject. Very confusing but thats because he is himself confused about what he wants it to be, but it sure is extremely important to him.

In the end, goultard recognizes the only people who knew and understood him are dead.

His emotions are seen as unmasculine and ridiculous because theyre too intense (seen as hysteric, too sensitive) Vil smisse says he's "worse than a chick". They say he has his mother's character whos literally named cabotine (hysteric).

He sees himself as a poet, someone sentimental, complains that people don't see it, don't recognize it, can't/don't understand this part of him. Kills an entire village because they didnt appreciate this part of him (a little excessive maybe lmao)

The way he presents, wears dresses as a child, skirts later in life, long hair with accessories... not necessarily effeminate but kinda androgynous hes gnc af or whatever. (I dont know what other people think but he always looks super androgynous to me, except in wakfu) Hes very goth looking in the manga which is also queercoded in itself.

His entire relationship with arty like come on.

People call him a homo and assume hes a homo thats pretty queer coded to me lol

Even the text makes fun of him for being the way he is. Hes often shown to be sort of a ridiculous person. Its not just the other characters who think that. They dont really expect you as a reader to sympathize with gou for being ridiculed. There are a few moments that feel gratuitously sadistic towards gou.

Arty also gets disrespected/has homophobia directed at him but always in relation to gou

(People assume arty's queer BECAUSE he's with gou), gou is disrespected/has homophobia directed at him way more and not always because of his relationship with arty (people assume gou's queer because he looks and acts in ways that make people think hes queer)

The whole thing with arty being a dragon is pretty queer coded too, discovering his true nature and being rejected for it, learning to accept himself etc...

But its such a classic trope it also fits other interpretations. Im thinking notably about growing up mixed, hes rejected for not being "human" enough but also not "dragon" enough, too much like a "human" or too much like a "dragon" having trouble figuring out his identity and accepting it, he inherits a long, complex and painful history from one side of his origins, fights to be seen as legitimate by the other dragons, very steven universe-esque.

And it's just very much coming-of-agey in general. His body changing and having new confusing emotions that he struggles to control. Facing new responsibilities. Kind of spiderman like. They do make a little joke about artys adoptive grandpa crail being like his version of uncle ben. So its also a metaphor for growing up in general.

[risingsoleil]

did linzin ever fight? And i mean big fights and they stopped talking to each other for days even their kids noticed? If yes how will they fix it

100% yes.

I'll break down a couple they've had:

#1 is one of the most common ones they have. It's Lin disregarding her own safety and putting herself on the line to protect others (not their family). They've had loud arguments about it.

Tenzin: do we mean nothing to you?! Do I mean nothing to you?! Lin: Stop saying shit to hurt me! I know what I'm doing! I wouldn't put myself in danger if I thought I'd end up dead! Tenzin: You owe it to me and the kids to not put yourself at risk. Why don't you let someone else die?! Lin: That's so rich coming from you--an airbender who's supposed to value all lives.

I'm not sure how they've solved this. Tenzin steps up to protect Lin so that she's not the one taking hits. But then Lin gets pissed at him. Then they fight about it. The cycle continues. Lin brings up "We can't both put ourselves on the line, otherwise our kids will end up as an orphans!!"

#2 - Tenzin wanting to take Jin and Areum on a long trip for airbender studies. Lin is frustrated because she knows that he only wants to pass down the knowledge of his culture to their kids, but she worries about how this will look to their other kids who might feel that he's showing favoritism. Tenzin argues that it's like an airbender rite of passage, and there are just specific things that airbenders will relate to. The kids overheard this one and would slide little notes under their parents' door. "Please don't fight ♡" Lin and Tenzin have definitely ignored each other for a while with this fight. It doesn't last long, but they definitely want a break from the other.

#3 - One fight that I think would be interesting is Tenzin being jealous that Lin is getting more respect in her workplace than he does. As an officer, Lin is good at being stoic and abrasive when she needs to be. She earns and commands respect over the years--even before they had kids. Tenzin struggles to find his own authority in politics. No one takes him seriously and constantly compares him to Aang. He's trying not to let his temper come through and once it slips a bit, City Hall uses that against him. Eventually, he kinda takes it out on Lin. And she can't understand what his problem is, and why he's being so snarky about her work. At first, she thought it was just jealousy over guys checking her out and things like that. But eventually, she hears from a little birdy (or maybe she just interrogated a worker) that no one sees Tenzin as a strong legislator on the Council.

#4 Not feeling prioritized in the relationship. This has happened on both parties. Both of them with their work schedules, but especially after Aang died. That period of chaos before the next Avatar is discovered was crazy and a bit of a blur for them.

The way they resolve or work through some of these fights changes. Sometimes, swallowing your pride and getting on your knees to give head to show you're sorry will work. Other times, it requires compromise and talking things through--Lin's *favorite* method.

Linzin tries to keep their fights/arguments away from the kids as much as possible. I think the kids have heard more fights than Linzin thinks they have. But Linzin's determination to work through these fights reinforces their love for each other to the kids.

[tswwwit]

I feel like if Dipper were ever reincarnated as a demon, he wouldn't fit in super well with the others. Yes, he's been raised to vie for power and step on everyone in his way using whatever means is necessary - it's the same toxic bizz as when he was a human, appealing to gender norms. He's tougher, scarier, more powerful (than ordinary humans, that is), but when it comes to asserting control - being Evil - he doesn't have it in him. Given enough time, I think he'd grow pretty vocal about leaving living things alone. NOT torturing organisms for the hell of it, or stealing people's souls, or conquering planets. Sure, he's a demon. That's no excuse to be a MONSTER.

It's a VERY unpopular opinion amongst neighboring demons, and rumor spreads fast about the Goody Two-Shoed Activist imp raining on everyone's blood-splattered parade, so much so that it makes it to Bill, who's immediately intrigued. Call it intuition, but only one soul's capable of overriding goddamn demon nature for some preachy bullshit about "Doing Good." Lucky for him, demons occupy the same plane of existence, so all it really takes to verify the guy is a snap of his fingers, and POOF! He's floating right next to him. Sure enough, Dipper's fashioned himself a new and improved demonic form, and it is lovely!

No one likes Dipper's kumbaya "Can't We All Just Get Along" ideology, but Bill's almost instantly smitten with the guy, whoever he is, so he's gotta be at least somewhat powerful. Demons take notice when the all-powerful Bill Cipher starts lending his time (and magic?) to some low-leveler like Dipper. Is he being blackmailed? Are they working together? No. Not possible. Bill doesn't "work" with anyone, save for whatever human catches his eye every few decades. Doesn't look to be doing him any benefit, either. The opposite, even. Lending power to a saint like Dipper only makes it harder to cause chaos, after all. Why would he actively go against his OWN best interest to cater some imp's? It's almost like he's. He's.

A henchmen.

(Bill's also 30% more affectionate the first month they reunite, because he still can't believe that his adorable little human husband came back as the same SPECIES as him! He'd never complain over having a sweet human to squeeze, but one with teeth and claws and cute pointy ears doesn't hurt).

[deoidesign]

.

[viatrix-glow]

new di x warrior cats

name explanations and more info below :3

basic stuff

-each agency is a clan, not each unit. 14-15 clans would be silly and then we would have some clans with 5 cats and some with 2.

-starpro -> lightclan. i couldn’t call them “starclan” for obvious reasons. light is somewhat synonymous with star, so i’m going with that.

-cospro -> nightclan. i don’t think the cats in warriors know the word “cosmic”, but cosmic implies cosmos implies night sky, so we’re going with night

-rhyth lin -> rippleclan. ripple is sort of a synonym to rhythm….? this one was hard

-new di -> fortuneclan. this one is a stretch but neither “new” or “dimension” have synonyms that really fit a clan name. fortune is something that relates to multiple characters in new di though

-starclan still sort of exists, but the cats do not believe in them the way they do in warriors. they are more of a nursery tale than anything, and select cats (ex: tatsumi) believe in them, but it is not written into their code. medicine cats can still interpret signs, but they do not necessarily think of them as coming from starclan.

-medicine cat forbidden romance is not a thing here

-intermingling of clans is ok and common

-there’s like. other cats in their clans besides just the enstars cast i assume

cat names/why i chose them

fortuneclan:

knights

-tsukasa -> scarletstar (scarletblossom) . he is the leader of fortuneclan because he is one of the new di reps for the summits. both scarlet and blossom were chosen bc of his last name (scarlet is a red color… kinda similar to cherry…. and blossom for the cherry blossom).

-leo -> lionheart. ok this one is kind of cheating because lionheart is already an existing warrior, but…come on….

-izumi -> silverspring. sora describes his color as silver, and spring is in his first name

-ritsu -> frostmoon. his first name means cold moon according to the wiki so i just rehashed it

-naru -> goldenroar. since she doesn’t like her first name i didn’t want to use “storm”, and her last name can be read as “thunder” but that’s a little too close to storm? so golden for her hair and roar for her last name

switch

-natsume -> sageeye. a sage is similar to a wizard, and eye is in his first name . also the “dovesong” mentioned is wataru :)

-tsumugi -> bluewing. he is a bluebird. warrior cats probably wouldn’t straight up call a cat “bluebird” so i put wing there instead. deputy cause he’s the vp

-sora -> skyspring . sora means sky. spring is in his last name. i could have used “stream” instead to differentiate him from sena but i think spring is cuter

mam/df

-madara -> tawnystripe . tawny bc it’s like kind of close to calico if you squint. stripe(s) is in his last name

[dairyfreenugget]

I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me