#or that he died and became a ghost only atsushi can see

[datura-foxglove]

Red Dream (Dazatsu Halloween Day 1)

Rating : T

Trigger warning : blood, implied/referenced suicide, ambiguous/open ending, implied/referenced character death.

Prompts : A combination of Divination and the quote “It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night."   —The Tell-Tale Heart, by Edgar Allan Poe 

Summary : As soulmates, Dazai and Atsushi shared a recurring dream. A premonition of how they would meet. A divination given to them by the gods so they could find one another. To Dazai’s delight and Atsushi’s horror, it’s a dream where Atsushi killed Dazai. Again and again, they dream... until the day they finally meet.

A dream. A red string.

Two fates being interwoven with each other.

Two souls longing to become one.

.

A walkway covered in red. The crisp sounds of the crushed maple leaves as his feet stepped on them. He walked, walked along the red path. His wrists were bound with a red silk, the other end grasped tightly by a shadow wearing human skin and clothing leading him further and further.

To where? He didn’t know. There was nothing inside this darkness except for the faceless man, the walkway painted in red, and himself.

Who was he? A name… did he have one? If he concentrated really hard, he could faintly remember someone calling him. A voice so dear, a name precious only because that person always called him so fondly, a face blurred by his own tears.

A red torii gate loomed in front of him. Red, just like the maple leaves scattered on the path he treaded on. Red, just like the silk binding his limbs. Red, just like blood—

A roar of a beast spooked him. He flinched, collapsing to his knees and cowering into a little ball. His whole body trembled, but his eyes were glued to the red torii gate. The shadow of a man pulled at the silk and he cried out. He tried to dig his fingers and feet to the ground, but with uncanny strength the faceless man continued on dragging him with little to no effort. The void of peace within his heart was shattered as he got closer and closer to the gate, the emptiness was slowly filled with buckets of dread that drowned him.

He mustn’t. He mustn’t cross the gate. If he did. When he did.

Then he would have to kill again.

.

A bird was trapped within a cage, it’s wings broken.

Still, the bird sang. A solemn, yet beautiful sound.

A song of freedom. A song of longing.

The bird continued to sing. It waited and waited within the cage.

Even when corpses continued to pile up outside of it.

.

He saw the same dream, again and again.

A dream of him killing someone.

But instead of guilt and horror, all that he felt was peace and content.

Or maybe he could only felt that way because of the expression of the man he murdered in his dream.

Those beautiful and warm brown eyes closed in serenity. The way his breath stuttered and shortened as his hands tightened around that frail neck. A smile as that person whispered his murderer’s name for the final time with nothing but adoration and gratitude.

Atsushi woke up and cried.

.

“It’s truly a bizarre thing, isn’t it?” a clack of ice inside the glass of poison, a childish voice whispering in awe. “Soulmates, I mean.”

“Have you met yours, Dazai?” his dear best friend asked and he could only chuckle.

“I have, countless times in my dream.” He wondered if it’s the alcohol or his own idealism that made red colored his cheeks. “He killed me, countless times. Isn’t he wonderful?”

“That’s… probably not what people think of when they dream of their soulmates killing them.” His other friend sighed and looked at him weirdly. “But somehow it fits you.”

“He is so gentle too with his hands. A clean and painless death… I think I’m swooning.” He plopped down on the counter and pouted. “Why won’t he come to me already…”

“Why not search for him? You remember how he looks, right?”

“Odasaku, you are a genius!”

“Odasaku-san, please don’t enable him!”

.

He had read about it from the dusty books in the library of the orphanage. Tales of soulmates guided to each other by red strings that would never break. Atsushi would look at his pinky and wondered if his string was connected to someone. Yet a string felt wrong, for a weak string wouldn’t be able to drag him away from his hell. He wondered if it wasn’t a string, but a strong red silk that bound him to his soulmate. A long silk that was even redder than the maple leaves around him.

The next time he dreamt, the faceless man was no longer there. The red silk that bound his wrists was still there, only now it fluttered in the air like a trail of fire that led to the torii gate. He felt a gentle tug from the other end of the silk, and Atsushi obediently followed.

He had the same dream so many times that Atsushi remembered the details even after he woke up. A pathway of red, a red torii, stairs made from white stone that lead him up and up, a second torii gate, and finally, the man who always waited for him. Seated on a flat stone encircled with sacred ropes. The young man with chocolate hair and warm eyes would always greet him with outstretched arms, no matter how many times Atsushi killed him.

“Hurry…” the man would whisper as Atsushi sank into his warm and gentle embrace. “Hurry and come. I’m waiting.”

.

A lovely bird sang the melody of death.

Corpses piled up around the cage.

The stench of rot and beautiful song attracted a beast.

The tiger’s yellow eyes watch over it’s prey.

Yet the bird showed no fear.

It chirped at the beast to come closer.

Enthralled by the beautiful voice, it did.

.

Atsushi only watched as the person who had always tortured him bound him to the cell. If the man was weirded out by his submissiveness, he didn’t say anything and just left him alone in the dark. There was no window in the basement where he was locked up, but Atsushi knew the moon was close to full. A growl resounded within the harsh and cold basement and it took Atsushi only a moment to recognize it came from him.

“Hurry…” his voice wasn’t that much different from growls of a beast now. “Hurry… to his side…”

The beast within him roared in impatience. It clawed at the floors and the walls, seeking freedom to run and leap. To where the bird was singing. To the other half of his soul.

.

When the full moon hung in the sky granted it’s blessing towards it’s beloved, a beast tore apart it’s cage and escaped. It roared it’s joy of freedom and longing, an echo of a young boy’s cry of happiness. The beast never returned to it’s captivity.

Drowned in the crimson of sunset and blood, once again the bird sang the song of death. The cage’s door was finally opened and the bird leaped outside of the cage with it’s broken wings. No one managed to catch it again as it rained death upon all.

.

Atsushi followed a pathway of red, though instead of the crunchy sounds he was familiar with now he could only hear splashes of thick liquid that he stepped on.

A red gate. Though instead of the sacred torii, now the gate was red from the blood splattered around it.

A stairway of white stones. Atsushi was relieved when instead of stairs, he only needed to press a button to get to his destination.

Another red gate. Another massacre.

Atsushi could feel his thunderous heartbeat. His heart beat in time with the gentle tug he could feel from around his wrists and he followed it just like every other time in his dreams. Screams of terror and pleas of help went unheard as Atsushi made his way through the pile of corpses that crunched under his paws like the maple leaves in his dreams.

Paws? Shouldn’t it be feet?

But it didn’t matter. Everything didn’t matter, because right now the tugging had led him to this place. His final destination. Just like in his dream, that man was waiting for him. Seated on a big dark table instead of flat stone encircled with sacred rope, like a sacrifice to appease the beast that devoured humanity.

‘Ah, finally.’ The tiger chuffed, it’s tail swayed lazily behind him to reflect Atsushi’s happiness. ‘I found you.’

The young man gazed at him with so much warmth that all of Atsushi’s exhaustion and apprehension melted. Like always, he outstretched his arms to greet him. “You have kept me waiting.”

The tiger pounced, but the moment they touched it’s form unravel into a young boy. Barely a teenager. Like an overgrown cat, Atsushi snuggled closer to his soulmate, ignoring the blood that smeared his face from his soulmate’s bloody black suit. The young boy almost purred from the warmth that he had sorely longed for, the human touch without pain that he had been deprived of since he was born. Now, to get it from his soulmate was more than enough to sooth his tattered heart.

The young man chuckled at the affectionate gesture and embraced his young soulmate tighter. “Your name, sweetheart?”

“Atsushi. Nakajima Atsushi.” Atsushi’s face was flushed from the nickname, but he tilted his face upwards without shame. “Yours?”

“Dazai Osamu.” Dazai whispered as he left an adoring kiss on Atsushi’s forehead. “Now Atsushi-kun… will you grant my wish?” he slowly took Atsushi’s much smaller hands and led it to his neck.

Atsushi’s instinct and habit from his dream made him tightened his grip on Dazai’s neck, which only made Dazai’s eyes fluttered and the corner of his lips twitched up in a relieved smile.

“Will it make you happy?”

“Happy?” Dazai muttered aloud, looking really relaxed like he wasn’t about to be strangled by his own soulmate. “I guess I will. At least I won’t have to live in this never ending nightmare anymore.”

“Nightmare?” Atsushi slowly pushed Dazai down, so he could better grasp Dazai’s neck. Dazai was laying down on the table without any worry for his life, even with Atsushi straddling his chest only made it even harder to breathe.

“Isn’t this life a nightmare, Atsushi-kun?” Dazai gently stroked Atsushi’s thin cheeks. Way thinner than children should be. His ragged clothing and the mark of chains around his neck and wrists also told Dazai of Atsushi’s own hell. “Our shared dreams are my only salvation. To share this most intimate moment with my own soulmate, isn’t that the most beautiful suicide?”

“Isn’t it scary, to die? I’ve always only wanted to live.”

What kind of life his soulmate had that he sought for death so much that it became their shared dream? Atsushi wanted to know. He wanted to understand. But at the same time his fingers tightened more around Dazai’s neck. When one of the soulmate dies, their souls would become one. The lonely part of him cried out for his other half to return within him, to repair his broken heart and soul. To became one and became better than the useless and unwanted existence he was right now. Once their souls joined, it would be impossible to separate them. They would be together forever, untouched even by death.

The tighter Atsushi’s hands choked his throat, the more peace shown on Dazai’s expression. “Then I will become one with you and watch over that life you struggled for, Atsushi-kun.” Atsushi frowned when Dazai’s warm eyes closed. “Maybe then… I can finally understand…”

Atsushi’s heartbeat became louder and louder, until it was the only thing he could heard other than Dazai’s weakened last breaths. Dazai’s limbs twitched, the last desperate attempt for survival of his own body, but Dazai forcefully kept them away from Atsushi. The tiger had the bird between it’s claws, the last thing it need to devour the poor soul was to bite down at it’s neck. To silence the bird’s song of death forever while it stared at the sky it would never reach.

When it’s over, Atsushi’s cries were accompanied by a tiger’s roar.

.

The bird would never again sing a melody of death.

Instead, now the tiger roared to the moon.

A song of life, a song of love.

For the bird now had finally soared in the sky.

.

The death of Mori Ōgai and the subsequent destruction of Port Mafia was the only thing people talked, despite not making it to the official news. For a while, Yokohama undergone a great uproar as other organizations tried to climb over each other to be the successor of the throne the Port Mafia had left behind, at least until the government deployed their own army to stomp upon this fire of chaos as soon as possible.

The cause of Port Mafia’s destruction was unknown. A few former members and survivors said that it’s the betrayal of the prodigy and youngest ever Executive, Dazai Osamu. Some others though, said that it’s the sudden appearance of a white tiger. Dazai Osamu went missing, leaving behind only his overcoat that he always wore on his shoulder on the room where the corpse of Akutagawa Ryūnosuke and Mori Ōgai was found. No proof of white tiger ever appeared, so people just chalked it up to hallucination due to the traumatic events. Still, those that had seen the white tiger continued to fear for it, that the white tiger became a folklore among the mafia.

“See, Atsushi-kun? You have become a legend!” Dazai chuckled as he told the tales to Atsushi, who grumpily ignored him. “If only they know how the ferocious white tiger is no more than overgrown cat that is easily bribed by ochazuke and kicked in his sleep despite hogging the sunny spots.”

“Dazai-san, say goodbye to the seafood dinner tonight.” Atsushi fumbled with the brand new tie he had bought for the interview today. The more he tried, the more it looked like a mess of knots instead.

“Atsushi-kun, I’m sorry! Please don’t take away the crab!” Dazai pouted and draped himself over Atsushi’s shoulders. The younger boy just grunted and relented the tie as Dazai’s nimble fingers undo the knots and easily repaired it to the perfect tie it should look like.

He didn’t have time to thank Dazai when he heard a knock on his door. “Room service.”

“Ah, yes.” Atsushi opened the door and let the bellboy rolled the cart with his breakfast inside the room. Atsushi gave the man his tips, but the way the man looked around confused him. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing! It’s just, I thought I heard you talking with someone.”

Atsushi glanced to his soulmate, but Dazai only put his finger above his lips.

The bellboy, clearly a new worker, was quick to shut his mouth and quickly walked out. “Please forgive my rudeness and enjoy your meal!” the moment the door was closed and they could no longer hear the sound of his footsteps, Dazai’s solemn expression vanished and replaced with giddiness.

“Quick, Atsushi-kun! You have to eat!” Dazai smiled brightly as he opened the cover for Atsushi’s breakfast. “Today is a brand new day for your struggle, isn’t it?”

“I wonder if the Agency will accept us.” Atsushi sat down next to Dazai, who seemed content in just watching Atsushi ate.

“It’s you, Atsushi-kun, I’m sure you will be fine.”

“Us, Dazai-san.” Atsushi took Dazai’s hand in his. Dazai only blinked when Atsushi continued. “We will always be together.”

“Oh, that’s true.” Dazai smiled warmly and returned the hold. “We are one now, aren’t we?”

Atsushi hummed in agreement as Dazai brushed his hair away from his face. “I will never leave you, Dazai-san.”

.

The bird and the tiger sing a harmonious melody.

Yet no one could hear it but themselves.

It’s a song only for the two of them.

Forever together.

[dreamkidddream]

quote 4 for atsushi mayhaps? 👉👈

Atsushi is just so cute 😭🤍 he is the definition of “is a cinnamon roll AND can actually kill you”. Reader is gender neutral!

(SN: LOOK AT HIS SMILE 🧡💞🖤💖🤎💕💛💙🧡🧡💚🖤❤️🤍🧡💞🤎💕❣️❤️❤️💞🧡💓💛💘 Atsushi deserves the world 🥺🥺🥺)

TW: Blood, mentions of injuries, but nothing extremely graphic

Prompt: “I think I love you.” with Atsushi!

Atsushi couldn’t stand still, even as he was wincing in pain. His wounds can heal and he can regenerate, so he doesn’t care what type of pain he has to go through; he’ll be fine.

But the same can’t be said for you.

The way that you were flung out of the window, glass shards piercing your skin, plummeting towards the concrete below...

He felt his heart stop, and his breath leave his lungs. He’s watching in slow motion, you falling, looking lifeless.

He never moved that fast before in his life, and he was able to put down the remaining Port Mafia members before he followed suit and jumped out after you. He was so scared, so scared that he wasn’t going to reach you in time, but he was determined to catch you. He can’t fail, he can’t let you die!-

He finally caught you, flipped you around mid-air, and shielded you from the impact with his own body.

He coughed up blood, wheezing, and could feel some cracked ribs, but all that mattered is that he caught you, he saved you, you didn’t die. Your head was still cradled to his chest, and Atsushi moved his fingers to your neck to feel for a pulse.

He could feel your pulse, but it was barely there.

But he didn’t have time to panic as he could see blurry figures running towards him, too exhausted and drained to make out who they were. He tried to will his body to heal faster so that he can be ready to fight, he couldn’t take the chance of it being more of the Port Mafia and not be ready to protect you! Especially if Akutagawa decides to make an appearance, he has to get you help and keep you safe, no matter what.

He’s wobbly on his feet, having black spots in his vision, most of his wounds still in the midst of healing, but he’s unwavering in what he has to do. He doesn’t have time to fight, and he needs to get you to Yosano before it’s too late, but he’s not taking the risk of being ambushed either.

If he has to strike anyone down that stands in the way, then so be it.

He won’t lose you.

He almost breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was the others, but didn’t get the chance to before his legs gave out and he collapsed on the concrete.

His last thoughts were of you before he passed out.

——

He’s outside your recovery room, replaying those moments in his head over and over, gripping the handle tighter and tighter each time.

Yosano already gave him the okay to go inside, but he just can’t get the image of your eyes looking so dull out of his head. He knows that you’re okay now, but he just can’t help but think that he could have done something more to make sure that you didn’t end up in this position. To make sure that you never end up in this position. But, today made him realize something.

He’s scared of losing you, and he doesn’t know what he would do if he did.

You became such a significant part of his life, that he doesn’t know what he would do without you.

This feeling...is he-

The door swung open.

—-

“Sushi Roll! You’re okay!”

His eyes widened, frozen in his spot by the door as he just took in your form.

You’re okay, you’re really okay, and you’re still alive!-

“Now bring it- Woah!”

He didn’t give you time to finish as he engulfed you in a tight hug. You’re not a ghost haunting him, you’re really here, hugging him back and giggling in his ear. He didn’t want to let you go, but you tapped his back, “As much as I’m loving this, your grip is getting a little tight.”

“Ah! Sorry! Are you okay? I-I didn’t hurt you did I?!”

“Sushi, relax, I’m okay.” You laughed, and leaned back to get a better look at him. His serious wounds seem to heal a little better, only bruises and cuts being left and scattering among his body, but you have no doubt that they’ll be gone by later. “How are you feeling?”

“Forget about me, I should be asking you that!”

“Oh I feel fine, just a little tired is all-”

“Wait! You shouldn’t be out of bed!”

You didn’t even get the chance to argue, as he scooped you up and began carrying you to the bed. “Sushi my legs still work and I’m healed, you don’t have to do this!”

“But that doesn’t mean that you should be on them so soon! You still need to rest.”

“W-well the same can be said for you! You still have blood all over your clothes, why didn’t you go change?”

“I”, he paused and looked off to the side. “I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t want to leave until I saw you were okay with my own eyes. I wanted to see for myself, I...I needed to see for myself.” His voice drifted off, the gravity of the situation weighing heavy in the air. You don’t remember much after being flung out the window, your memory going blank in some spots, but you do remember seeing Atsushi grabbing and shielding you.

You won’t ever forget that, and you don’t know how you can ever repay him for saving you. Sure, you guys always have each other’s backs, but this was different. It felt more personal.

You gaze turned somber, an apology on the tip of your tongue-

“I almost lost you, I thought”, he gulped, he didn’t want to say this, but he had to accept the truth and so did you, “I thought you died. I thought I was too late to save you, that you died in my arms...”

If everything went right and he didn’t mess up, you would both be walking back now after eating a “celebratory meal” (which was really just some cheap street food), just giving him that same smile that stops his heart and what he looks forward to everyday.

You would’ve been praising him about how much stronger he’s getting, about how he’s such a great person, joking around and even trying to feed him. And he would’ve blushed and try to deny your praises and compliments, but you would just shut him up with food and laugh him off, saying that none of it was up for debate. You would call him that silly nickname (that he secretly loves), and even giving him a kiss on the cheek like you always do whenever he’s feeling down.

And it would make his heart race every time, give him that same feeling of euphoria that only you can bring. He always wants to be there for you, no matter what. Whether it’s facing the Port Mafia again, or something simple as walking you home, he doesn’t want to leave your side.

“I wouldn’t know what I would do without you. I would just feel alone and empty again like how I did at the orphanage.” He gripped your hands, shaking but firm. He knows that he found a home and family here with everyone and the agency, but it wouldn’t be complete without you. It wouldn’t be the same.

You’re just...everything to him.

And that’s when it clicked.

“(Y/N) I...”

He leaned forward, eyes watering and voice unwavering.

“I think I love you.”

You felt your breath catch in your throat, eyes tearing up. You couldn’t stop the tears from falling before you lurched forward and brought him into a hug, trying not to sob into his shoulder. He was caught off guard, but never hesitated to return the hug.

Now he understood the feeling that he’s been having, and he’s beating himself up that it’s taken this long to realize it. But, he could hear you cry out that you love him too, and that he’s such a dork for taking so long to say it, you both laughing through the tears. It just made everything all worth it in the end.

He would call himself a liar though, he doesn’t think that he loves you.

He already knows that he does.

[codename-bewareofthefangirl]

GoM + Nijimura + Haizaki + Kagami + Kiyoshi + Takao + Mayuzumi + Hanamiya + Ogiwara childhood headcanons please, thanks!

Hi dear! Sorryfor the wait, I hope you’re fine! Here I am with the headcanons! Since youasked them for many characters, I’ve been general and brief, if you want somemore of them just ask okay?

Have a niceday!

KnB Childhood Headcanons:

Kise Ryouta

-the Angel Child that everybody loves. The parents,the over-doting sisters, the neighbors, the old granny that rune that groceryshop….everyone.

-the sisters used to dress him like a girl. 100% sureof this, and he was more cute than every other little girl. Pink? Not aproblem, he slayed it. Braids, flowers in the hair, animal hairpins? Lookedperfect on him.

-he modeled both for male and female clothing, yeswhen he was still a child.

-the boy that all the girls in kindergarten fought forwhen playing house. He came to hate that game, it was boring and all the girlswhere the same. He knew he was cuter and a better wife than them. (Now, when heremembers how conceited and proud he was about his wife skills, he wants to dighis own grave. It was his sisters’ fault.)

-He was already sharp and definitely too honest, thetypical child that points out everything that adults want to hide or fake isnot there.

-He learnt quickly how to use his good looks and innocentface to have what he wanted. Not always in egoistic or cunning way, he was justhappy when he saw people smiling at him or praising him.

-He had a deep bond with his Grandma, a truetraditional Japanese lady. Strict and elegant but extremely caring.

-He got bored quickly and spent time searching for the“right game”. However, he quite enjoyed drawing (even if he wasn’t good atit)and singing! He loved singing and dancing! He organized little shows for hisfamily where he danced and singed for them, or runaway show, taking them veryseriously.

-He hated playing in the garden and getting dirty.Especially with insects, he was scared of them. Earthworms in particular.

Aomine Daiki

-The Wild Kid. The child that lives in the park or inthe garden, from morning to evening. His parents had to scream and shout everyday to bring him back home and put him in the bath. It was a real fight. Hespent all his holidays at his grandparents’ house in the mountains.

-Every day was an adventure. He loved rolling in themud, catching bugs and cicadas, exploring new places and obviously trying everytype of sports.

-Until he found basketball, then there was only basket.

-He hurt himself one day and the other too, uncaringtowards any potential danger. He got lost in the park or in the wood at least oncea week. The firefighters were in the end used to it and became his friends.

-He had a great sense of “justice”. I like to think ofhim as the child with the hero complex. He fought the evil forces (bullies, abad dog, strict adults…) and helped the weak (grannies, small animals, youngerchildren…)

-He stayed quiet only when Momoi managed to force himto play at her “girly” games. Usually he was the one dragging her into hiscrazy ideas.

-Disinterested in the adults’ world, honest and rough,he respected only the ones who earned it. Teaching him how to be polite was hisparents’ harder task ever. They still shiver at the memory.

MurasakibaraAtsushi

-The Picky Child. Oks, I can’t stop thinking that hewas the typical child who wanted always something different. Especially whentalking about food. He didn’t throw tantrum, but pouted silently and refused tomove/do what he was told for hours. Extremely stubborn. Between him and hisparents, it was a battle of wills.

-Being the last son in a big family, he was slightlyspoiled. By his brothers and his sister mostly, who just found him cute andcheeky when he was little.

-He was quiet, but moody. He had to be the one todecide what to do and when, he didn’t care if others wanted somethingdifferent. He was going to do what he wanted either way.

-He liked playing alone, he especially enjoyedvideogames and watching cartoons. He had a soft spot for a superheroes’ tv-showand knew all the lines of the Purple Hero. He had costume of him and somerelated toys. He was super-fast at coming back home after school to watch it.

-Not patient and bored easily, he spent a lot of timedaydreaming.

-He was gentle only to younger children, especiallygirls. If he was in a good mood, he shared his sweets with them. On the otherhand, he hated playing with the older ones, but luckily, he was big enough toscare them off.

AkashiSeijuurou

-ThePerfect Child. We all know his childhood sucked. He was manipulated to be theperfect being and his entire family, not including the mother, was strict as hellwith him. He spent his days learning and studying in solitude or with histutors.

-He loved spending his free time with his mother, whenhe could. She would read books to him or play in the garden; they also tookcare of flowers together and played cheerful songs at the piano.

-After she died, he would wait for the night to comeand then sneak out of his room. Some nights, he would curl on a big armchair inthe library and read fairy tales or stories of adventures (the ones his motherread to him) by himself. Sometimes, he would go in the garden and take care oftheir precious flower to be sure they were going to grow and bloom. At leastthem.

-he started playing the violin because playing thepiano without his mother brought back too many memories and hurt too much.

-At first he hated horse-riding, because the majorityof animals hated him and escaped as soon as they saw him. Now he’s like a sortof Lion King and animal bows to him. Except dogs. Dogs hate him.

MidorimaShintarou

-The Smart Child. The one that knows too many thingsand reads too much. At first he was very stiff and cold to adults and otherchildren, he preferred to play on his own, but he softened when his sister wasborn.

-He enjoyed mind games: puzzles, enigmas, crosswords…The problems arose when he couldn’t solve one, asked his parents but theydidn’t know too.

-He read a lot, everything he could find. From kitchenmagazines to encyclopedias. His favorites? “Fortune Telling” and “How The StarsShape Your Life”. Yeah.

-Very diligent and obedient, however he couldn’tsuppress his urge to talk. When he heard someone discussing something he hadread about, it didn’t matter who it was but he had to have his word.Embarrassing when he knew more than the adults present.

-His parents were strict with him, but in a normal andcaring way. They are very proud of him and let him know when he needs it.

-Shy with other kids and unable to socialize well,however he seemed to attract the troublesome kids. Maybe because he was veryresponsible and took care of them when they got hurt. He was the kid that othermothers loved because they knew that if he was there their crazy kids weregoing to be okay.

Kuroko Tetsuya

-The Where-Is-My-Child Kid! Usually super quiet,reserved and shy, but when you take your eyes off him he vanishes like a ghost.He was a curious and independent boy that wandered around following hisinstincts and got lost on daily basis.

-His parents tried everything: bright, neon cloths,some bells, a gps tracker…nothing, it took him one second to disappear, even intheir own house. In the end, they decided to put around his neck a card withtheir names and the phone number, just in case.

-Adorable, a little chubby and with always a cute,faint smile on the lips. Sweet and kind, timid yet willing to befriend otherchildren. Girls loved him endlessly and treated him like their little brother.

-I can see him drawing peacefully and reading. Heloved to take naps, everywhere and anywhere.

- Independent, he tried to be the little man his dadwould like him to be. Trying to not cry often and be strong, to do what he havetoo and be responsible. Helping out his mom when she needed, especially withhouse chores.

NijimuraShuuzou

-The Dependable Child. When his parents had to leavesomeone in charge of the house, they would choose Nijimura. Strong, determinedand a born leader, capable to handle things even when he was younger. Like alittle soldier.

-grumpy and hotheaded he often picked up fights withother children, yet everybody loved him for his kind and honest heart. He wasjust a bit scary.

-He was the leader of a group of children at the parkand used to be the arbiter of every argument. Nobody dared to contradict him.

-He would took care both of his older sister and hisyounger brother, like a replacement of his father, when he had to stay inhospital. Very responsible and hard working, however he got stressed andinsecure easily and that’s why he ended up venting it into fights.

-Loved to play outside with other children and henever left out anyone. He also enjoyed from time to time relaxing on his own,watching his cartoons or chatting with his dad.

-He wanted more than anything else to be like his dadand make him proud.

Kagami Taiga

-The Sunshine Boy! A little tornado of smiles, energyand clumsiness. He tended to end up in every type of trouble and he visited thehospital once a month. The nurses loved him.

-He didn’t have a switch off, much to his mother’sdesperation, and he never seemed to be tired. He had to move, play, scream, laugh…endlessly.He slept few hours per night and was extremely loud and boisterous.

-He loved playing outside and had a passion fordangerous and reckless games. He was never alone, always dragging someone withhim.

-He got hurt easily: scratched knees, purple bruises,insects’ stings…He was also very clumsy and uncoordinated.

-Prideful, brave and curious. He liked nature, exceptfor dogs. He hated dogs, they were evil (his mother used to threaten him thatshe was going to buy a dog if he didn’t come home)

-Nothing was more boring than staying at home, readingand drawing. When it rained, for one hour or two, they would keep him quietwith cartoons, but he would soon grow bored and start to pester them to playwith him.

-He was hotheaded, but he rarely got angry or pouty.He complained, yet he regained his smile quickly. And it was quite contagious.

Haizaki Shougo

-The Spoiled Child. He and his brother had eight yearsof difference, so his mother spoiled him endlessly. At least when she was home,being a single mother she had to work very hard to maintain them. Yes, hecherished and respected his mother a lot (at least her).

-He had a superiority complex: he had to be the leaderof the group and the one who decided who could play with him and who not. Girlsweren’t accepted because they were crybabies and too weak.

-He felt like a great boss, going around the park andimposing his power. He said that his brother was the one who taught him how tofight and be brave.

-He had an older brother’s complex: he admired him andpraised him wholeheartedly; he wanted to be tall, strong and fearless like him.

Kyoshi Teppei

-The Golden Heart Boy. The one that deeply cares foreveryone, kind and always ready to help someone out.

-he would spend days and days gardening with hisgrandmother or fishing with his grandfather, quietly but cheerfully. Or,reading stories in the veranda and looking at the clouds. It had been hisgrandad who taught him how to play the harmonica.

-He was the pacemaker at the park, playing the role ofthe big brother to the other children. Actually, some of them began to call him“Onii-chan” for real, especially little girls.

-Making his mom happy was one of his joy. He wouldmade drawings or small jewels with bottle’s cap, glass beads and plastic stringsfor her. Because she was a queen.

Takao Kazunari

-The Mischievous Child. He had done everything. He hadpranked anyone, without a second thought. Most out of curiosity, sometimes as arevenge.

-carefree kid, always ready to get into troublevoluntarily. At first, they used to ground him, but then he would damage morethe house so his parents surrendered and just left him without tv or videogamesfor some days as a punishment.

-He had drawn on the walls of his house, put worms inthe tea cup of the neighbor, scared to death the mailman, scribbled on theteacher’s skirt, hidden in the wood the toy of a child he didn’t like,persuaded a girl she was adopted, sneaked out during the night…His parentsspent their time apologizing to the neighborhood.

-He found girls annoying, petty and boring. Hepreferred playing soccer or hide and seek with other boys.

-He loved animals and was quite good with them. He wasoften followed by strays and his house became a sort of hotel for abandoned animals.

MayuzumiChihiro

-The Lonely Child. He liked to be alone, reading orplaying his games on his own.

-He hated to be dragged to the park or to some partiesby his parents. He usually hid in a corner and pouted for hours.

-He is an only child, so at time he didn’t know how tointeract with other children and was horrible at sharing toys. However, he wasgood with quiet kids who liked to read like him. Or playing videogames. Inthose cases, he would even talk a bit, in whispers, and maybe show a faintsmile.

-He’s still scared of family reunions, especially inbig occasions like Christmas. He was the only child and the center of theattentions. His worst nightmare. He still isn’t able to escape from his aunts’claws.

-The only one he liked was his grandfather, whobrought him in the countryside and would share with him silent afternoons justlooking at the sky or wandering in the woods.

-He liked to wander alone, everywhere and anywhere,absentmindedly. Luckily, he had a good sense of direction.

ShigehiroOgiwara

-The Big Brother. The precious little child that hasonly one mission: being a good big brother. He tried to be independent andstrong just for his little brothers, always trying to be a worth model andbeing able to take care of them. He was the one who took them to thekindergarten and then to school every morning, holding their hands.

-He would often go to the park and play basketballwith his dad.

-bright personality, a bit wild and lively, but verykind. A bit clumsy, he fell easily and it was very cute how hard he tried notto cry every time.

-He ate a lot of food and was always hungry, maybebecause he was moving and playing around a lot. His mother was stunned by that.

HanamiyaMakoto

-The Devil Child. He looked absolutely adorable andcute, and you know why? Because he was enough smart to know that if a child wascute, he was going to have what he asked for. Obviously, he put the façade onwhen he needed too, otherwise he actually didn’t care about others. He liked tobe on his own.

-He was the only child of a single mother and trulycherished her, yet she had to work and he spent a lot of time alone.

-He used to go every afternoon to a small library andspent his time reading. There weren’t many books for children, so he soon beganto read the ones for adults. He liked the story of military tactics,mathematics and physics’ ones and manuals of chess and other games. The oldlady of the library treated him like his own nephew and is one of the fewpeople he truly cares about. He still goes to visit her every week.

-Straying cats loved him and followed him on thestreets.

-He had been banned from three different bars becausewhen he was eight he started playing card games with the old customers, butalways ended up winning the bet at stake. Sometimes he didn’t have to cheat towin, he was just too good.

[hellaintthatbad]

Bungou Stray Dogs Oneshot

Based on this headcanon:

AU where Atsushi sight is too fucking good that he can see Oda’s ghost following Dazai around, trying to take care of that childish man

And Atsushi feels bad, because he don’t know how to explain about Oda, neither how to talk to he without see weird

 Sometimes, after an especially draining training session, Atsushi would fall asleep before his body could fully reform his tigerish attributes back to human ones. Mostly it would just affect his arms, stripes or fur would stick for a few days, but lately, his usual warm yellow and purple eyes gained on blue color, making them even more confusing. They were warm and cold at the same time and people began to lose concentration during a conversation, lost in them, confused by them.

The blue swirls were now a constant part of his eye color and beside the lack of ongoing serious conversation, it didn’t bother him.

Until it also affected his sight. Blue swirls started to appear, mostly near people. It freaked him out at first and he tried to attack one, but his paws went right through it and into the wooden floor. They visited and left, flew around and basically annoyed the shit out of him. Dazai had to drag him out of a supermarket once because he threw flour at it, trying to make it visible to the man.

It was worst when he was with Dazai, a swirl was almost all the time with him. It had a human form, only its legs weren’t in for the proportions, they were too long, the mist became weaker at the ends. That was the only swirl that constantly reminded him of a human. He had seen a woman at the cemetery a few weeks before the supermarket incident, a human and a dog shaped form had lain at her shoulders, their “hands” stroking her back as sobs shook her body.

Dazai’s swirl however was like a mother hen; it flew around him, fixed bandages that became loose, howered over him when he attempted to drown in the river (that way Atsushi always knew where to look for him, he had swam and rescued the brunette so often, he could join a swimming team), swatted his hand away from some sweets to bread, fuzzed over his hair and combed through it when it became too messy, overall just took care of him. It plainly annoyed Atsushi.

The others in the Agency knew about the swirls, but no one knew about that certain swirl. And so, Atsushi had no one to ask when the swirl was no longer a swirl but a transparent, male figure, the collar of a dark shirt over the one of a lighter coat, a gun in his right, a children’s toy in his left hand. The boy had no clue who that was. Nor why sometimes, five tinier swirls of blue mist danced around the man’s legs. (And he had even less of clue why he hated seeing the man so close to Dazai.)

So he used a Sunday morning, a time where usually not a soul was at the Agency’s bureau, to look it up at the Agency’s files. No case of the man included five dead children.

But what if it has happened before Dazai joined the Agency?

The internet was still a bit scary to the Man-Tiger, so much knowledge practically nowhere, yet always in reach. He avoided the internet as much as possible.

The combination “five children Osamu Dazai” didn’t bring up much. Mostly fan pages  (With details about Dazai that couldn’t be true. For example that he would kill a girl after she gave birth to his son because she knew too much.). “five children father figure port mafia” however was literal gold mine. Atsushi read about twenty of them before he noticed that the name Sakunosuke Oda was mentioned in most of them. A quick research about him in the Agency’s files (because they hold more content about the Port Mafia’s actions than the internet) told him that Oda was a friend of Dazai before he died. He had adopted those kids. Dazai hadn’t added much about him, just what he needed to to fill up the Agency’s files and give them a better look at the Port Mafia’s ranks.

Sakunosuke Oda.

The swirls were dead people.

They were ghosts.

And one of them constantly took care of Dazai.

Atsushi needed to talk to Oda.

He probably couldn’t do it at the man’s grave like the woman had since Oda always was with Dazai. He needed to figure it out.

Before he could think about it further, the door slammed open, a pissed Kunikida dragged a dripping Dazai in.

“Hey, Atsushi, towel him up, I’m going to make tea!”

Since this happened quite a lot, towels already lay in a cupboard near the sofas. The boy took one and put it over the man’s head, only to leave it there and peel off the wet coat, shoes, and after looking for disapproval, but finding none, the shirt. He toweled the brunette’s head and feet, but only dabbed over the bandages, afraid to hurt him. But the even and slow breath showed him that he was probably asleep.

“Hey Oda, you here?”

The whisper was almost inaudible, but the ghost appeared next to his friend on the sofa.

“Oda, why are you here? I mean, why are you always around him?”

The ghost didn’t say a word. He just laid his right hand, this time without the gun, on Dazai’s head and ruffled softly through the damp hair. Then he stroke over the bandages, a frown appearing. He tapped at the ribs, they stuck out abnormally.

“Are you taking care of him?”

The ghost nodded. Five swirls started to form around him and he looked down, the frown disappeared to make place for a loving glaze.

“Are you taking care of them too?”

Oda seemed to laugh at that. He held up his left hand, it made a visible border between Dazai and the children. Then, he pointed at the children with his right, then at his stomach. He repeated the gestures with Dazai, only that he pointed at his heart and his head, not just his belly.

“They are your children, he is your friend. You take care of them differently.”

He nodded.

“Listen Oda, I understand that you worry about him. So please, understand that I also worry about him. I’m taking care of him too, okay? We help each other to make him healthy again. Is that okay with you?”

The figure nodded and somehow, he no longer shone an icy blue, but warmer, a wave of comfort and affection radiating from him.

Dazai’s eyes fluttered open, a yawn spread his mouth and he stretched like a cat while examining his surroundings. The brown orbs fixated on Atsushi kneeling before him.

“Why have you saved me again? I was happy there.”

“No you weren’t,” Kunikida appeared in the door with a tablet, “you cried because you ‘felt so guilty, you let him die, he didn’t deserve it’ and whatnot.”

“Because he didn’t! He had a family! He loved those kids! He died because I asked unaskable things from him!” Tears appeared and blurred his vision.

“Dazai…”

“Just let it be, both of you.”

“Dazai, if this is about Oda,” Dazai’s head shot up, his eyes drilled into Atsushi’s, “then I can tell you, it wasn’t your fault.”

“How can you know? You weren’t there!”

“Yes, but he is here right now. Remember the swirls I told you about? He is one of them. He took form – I don’t know why – and so took his kids! He is happy with them! He’s taking care of them! And of you! He is near you all the time and doesn’t leave like others do! So don’t tell me I don’t know him, I have been watching him for weeks on end!

“And we have been watching your behavior for weeks on end, me longer than him. You have to take care of your body. And since you didn’t even with him around, I’m taking care of you too!”

  I wanted to leave it there because. It looks like a good time to end, but the cliffhanger was too big. So, because I don’t want to ruin a good ending, here’s what happened after that:

Kunikida shoved the tea to Atsushi since he wanted to “take care of a weirdo along with a bunch of ghosts”. Dazai let Atsushi take care of him, Oda showed him what to avoid (topic- and foodwise), how to cook things so they tasted best, where to poke Dazai to wake him up, domestic stuff like that. And Atsushi showed Oda how to make Dazai smile again, what kids liked even more that sweets (games to get sweets) and together, they trained to let Oda be seen by others, just so that he could properly say good bye to Dazai. The kids wanted to join, “becoz uncle dazas is soooo pretty when he’s happy!” And when he said good bye, he also turned to Atsushi, who was standing in the back, giving them some privacy, and said “thank you for taking care of him. Don’t stop just because I left. He will need you. I’ll see you.”

The day after the big goodbye, Atsushi had made Dazai coffee and brought it to his bed, putting it on the nightstand, but when he turned to leave, Dazai’s hand shot forwards and grabbed his, pulling him under the covers right against his chest. “A mumbled “thank you” was all what the man said to him before falling in a dreamless sleep, the nightmare from before discontinued.

[datura-foxglove]

your words are my salvation (please don’t say it)

Rating : T

Prompts : Ghost / Haunting

Summary : (BEAST AU) Atsushi meet with Dazai for the last time as he tethered between life and death. In every parallel worlds written in the pages of the Book, Dazai would save Atsushi, and so did Atsushi would save Dazai in return. Unfortunately for them, their story must end here.

Warning : Please bear in mind that I haven’t touched BEAST AU for a long time and I refuse to tear my heart out reading it again, so I’m sorry if there is a mistake. Also, spoiler for the ending of BEAST AU obviously.

.

It was dark.

It was cold.

Atsushi opened his eyes, his mind felt strangely empty as he felt himself drowning. He must be drowning, right? Everything around him was water, cold and suffocating. His body fell deeper and deeper into the water as he could only watch the dancing light on the surface became farther and farther. His screaming lungs should kick his survival instinct to swim upwards, but all that his heart felt at that moment was peace. A calm, everlasting peace like he was enshrouded within a cocoon.

He closed his eyes, the dancing light on the surface was the last thing in his mind as he waited. Was this how it felt for a caterpillar as it metamorphosed into a butterfly? A certainty that it’s old skin would peel away and be reborn into something better? Something beautiful? The water surrounding him slowly cleansed away his sins, his fears, and his guilt. He felt guilty for tainting the pure water with his filth of his existence, but even that guilt was washed away. All that was left was just emptiness, an unending void.

Something forcefully awakened him from his stupor. Atsushi gasped, his eyes opened in shock. It took him a few moments to realize that he felt warmth from his wrist and another moment for his eyes to trail up the hand that had caught his wrist to see a face that he hadn’t thought would be able to see ever again.

“That won’t do, Atsushi-kun. If you continue to fall here, you will lose everything.” Dazai waved his hand to gesture at the black substance that had originated from Atsushi’s body all around them. “Your sins, your fears, and even your guilt. No matter how painful they are, they are still what made your existence Atsushi-kun.”

“Dazai-san…” Atsushi’s lips trembled, sobs caught in his throat. “Am I dead? Why are you here?”

“Not yet, Atsushi-kun, but close enough.” Dazai smiled, a perfect smile that Atsushi had seen countless times but never even once reached his eyes. “Do you forget my last order? I told you to live, Atsushi-kun. Live in the world of light with Kyouka-chan.”

“Ah…” Atsushi remembered, but what he did afterwards to follow that order was all a blur. “I don’t know why I’m almost dead, actually. I think… I left Kyouka-chan to the Agency, and escaped from Yokohama. After that… I don’t remember.”

Life after Dazai’s death was akin to hell. He had become so used to blindly following Dazai’s order, depending on them to seek temporary escape from his guilt. Without someone to give him orders, without Dazai to guide him and his Ability… Atsushi was lost, in more ways than one. He just… waited. Waiting for something to happen, waiting until the limbo he had gotten lost in to disperse, or maybe he had just been waiting for Dazai to pick him up and smiled mischievously, saying that everything was a ruse that he had planned and everything would go back to normal. His normal daily life, following Dazai’s orders and becoming one of his most useful pawn.

Dazai looked at Atsushi with something akin to guilt, or what close enough to be guilt. “You will be fine. The person I asked to take care of you will help you through this.” Dazai patted his head, the only act of affection they had ever allow themselves to have before. “Soon, you will forget about me. You should.”

Atsushi felt his fist shaking, his voice raised at Dazai for the first time in more than four years. “How can I forget you? You have saved me, all those years ago, from that hell! You have given me a place to belong, a reason for my Ability, and even forgive all of my foolishness! You are important to me, Dazai-san, how can I—“

“I have never saved you, Atsushi-kun.” Dazai’s cold voice stopped his tirade. “In fact, I’m the one who had drowned you in the filth of the mafia.”

Atsushi’s instinct made him clammed up, the old habit hard to break as he focused to listen for Dazai’s explanation instead.

There was a mirth in Dazai’s eyes as he saw Atsushi’s struggle. “Remember when I told you about the Book? How I’ve acquired the knowledge of the other worlds other than this one?”

The younger nodded. The guilt burdened him for not protecting the Book like what Dazai had told him to do, but there was an understanding in Dazai’s eyes that let him breathe easily again.

“In other worlds, your role is switched with Akutagawa.” Dazai explained. “You should be the one who joined the Agency, and he is the one who bloodied his hands in the mafia.”

Atsushi’s eyes widened in surprise. “Then… why did you choose me?”

“Everything I did in this world, is to keep someone alive.” Dazai’s smile was almost gentle, more real than the rest of his expressions. “So that he could achieve his dream to write a book. I sacrificed everything and everyone just for that reason.”

Dazai watched as conflicted emotions flitted through Atsushi’s eyes. “You are one of the sacrifices. I dragged you down with me, despite seeing how living in the world of light had healed the scars from your trauma. I ordered you to commit atrocities, forced you to wear that collar, and then throw you away after everything is over. I’m not your savior, Atsushi-kun. You shouldn’t even hate me, just forget about me. Go live in the world of light that you should be in.”

Atsushi didn’t respond. He just hung his head and stayed silent. Dazai held a sigh and looked up, towards the inviting dancing light that would be forever unattainable to him. “You should go back, Atsushi-kun. You can still be saved—”

To Dazai’s surprise, Atsushi had reached for his hand and held it tightly within his own. So tight it was painful, but Dazai couldn’t see the reason behind Atsushi’s brittle smile.

“I’m glad.” Atsushi chuckled weakly, his sunset colored eyes had a sheen to them that wasn’t caused by the water surrounding them. “For so long, I couldn’t understand you at all. It’s painful, my heart hurt knowing that I experienced so many pain because of you, but I’m so glad that I finally able to understand you a bit.”

Seeing Dazai’s shocked expression, Atsushi continued. “You are so smart. Everything was within your plan, even when all I could do was panic. You are always so out of reach from me, but to know that the reason for everything you’ve done is something so humane…” he looked at his own hands. “I don’t know if I will do the same thing to protect someone so precious to me, but then again I had also kill countless people just to follow your orders. Maybe it’s the same thing, maybe it’s not.”

Dazai let out a snort, not in disbelief but in resignation. “Why do you always try to understand me, Atsushi-kun?” he put his free hand on his bandaged face. “In every world I see within the Book, if there is something constant, it’s that you will always try to understand me. Even when I am your enemy, your ally, or even your…”

He shook his head solemnly. “It doesn’t matter. You should still forget about me. There will be nothing but pain awaits you if you keep dragging the memory of a dead man.” Dazai let out a humorless laugh. “Trust me, I know.”

If Atsushi was braver, or maybe in other worlds where they were more equal, he could call Dazai a hypocrite. “No matter how painful they are; they are still what made your existence. My time with you, my memory of you, and my feelings for you… they are proof of what I am.” Just like the watch he couldn’t bring himself to throw away. “Even if pain is all there is for now, I am sure that someday I can remember you with a smile.”

Dazai seemed stunned for a long while, even his breath stopped. Atsushi held on to his hand, the hand that had never hurt him. The hand that had always guide him. He would never forget. He wanted to carve the feeling of Dazai’s hand in his in his memory forever.

Atsushi almost jumped in fright when Dazai suddenly laughed. “Ha—hahaha!” Dazai nearly doubled over from the force of his laugh, his hand covered his mouth in futile attempt to muffle it. “You are really something else, Atsushi-kun!”

Atsushi watched in trepidation of the man’s sanity as Dazai slowly collected himself, his finger wiped away the tears from his eyes. “I’ve always taught that I’ve lived a good life, to have someone who would feel pain from a goodbye.” When their gaze met, there was a flush to Dazai’s cheeks. “To think there will be someone who would feel happiness from memories of me. Ah, what is this feeling I wonder? I think this is the first time my chest ever felt this light…”

Slowly, Dazai put his free hand on Atsushi’s cheek and leaned down so their forehead touched lightly. “I thought I only had one regret, but your words… they tempt me so. To wonder, to imagine, and to regret the path that I had already taken.”

Dread filled Atsushi’s heart. He knew, even without warning, of the sands of time that were slowly running out. This was his last chance. He would never have another. “Dazai-san, I—“

A finger on his lips prevented the confession from being spoken out, to become a reality that they couldn’t deny. “You mustn’t, Atsushi-kun. Don’t waste your feelings on a ghost. Find someone else that could love you the way you deserve it, not a broken man who couldn’t even love you properly.”

Atsushi wanted to deny. He wanted to spill out the feelings that would otherwise be forever unspoken and died without ever received. But the sorrow in the older man’s eyes was too much that it sealed his mouth shut. Atsushi closed his eyes and weep, for both this man with a broken heart and himself.

“Y-you said,” Atsushi sobbed through his words. “You said, that in other worlds I live in the world of light. Please tell me, Dazai-san, does the me in those worlds can tell you words that I can’t say?”

Dazai’s hand gently but tightly held the back of his head, pulling him closer so that there was almost no space between them. “In most of them, yes.” The grip on his hand tightened, as if they could prolong the time that was rapidly running out by just holding to each other. “You are always the one who first said those words, because in every parallel world I’m too much of a coward to take that first step.”

How ironic, that a coward like him was brave only on the things that matter the most. “I am sure, myself from the other worlds are also saved by you. No matter how insignificant little things, or a life changing things, you will always save me.”

“And so do you.” Atsushi opened his eyes, his blurry eyes just managed to catch Dazai’s gentle smile. “Even now, your feelings had saved my soul.”

Atsushi opened his mouth, but no words came out. Despite how he wanted to scream out his feelings, to spill out the entirety of his aching and broken heart, no voice came out from his strangled throat but weak sobs.

“I had finally get what I waited for the most the moment I died, but you…” a glimmer of light in Dazai’s visible eye only made Atsushi cried harder. “You make me want to live. A foolish dream of living together with you...”

A strong current within the water all around them pushed Atsushi up. He shouted his sorrow, but nothing heard his pleas. Dazai let him go, despite Atsushi’s protests. The roar of the water almost muffled Dazai’s last words to him, as Atsushi could only futilely reach out his hands to Dazai.

“Thank you, Atsushi-kun and… goodbye.” Dazai smiled at for the last time. A gentle and sad smile.

“Dazai-san!” Atsushi screamed with all his might, but Dazai’s form became smaller and smaller, until all that he could see was the last smile that would forever be carved into his heart.

---

The sound of children’s laughter stirred him up from the depths of his slumber. Atsushi opened his eyes to a familiar ceiling, but for a long time he couldn’t understand why the room was so familiar.

No, right now all that Atsushi could remember was Dazai’s words and his last smile.

“You’re finally awake—oh my, are you crying?” a woman’s voice spoke to him in concern, but Atsushi couldn’t answer it. He curled up in the bed and cried his heart out, as if he hadn’t cried enough before.

“I’m sorry.” Atsushi sobbed to the pillow. “I’m sorry, Dazai-san.”

“Young man, are you alright?”

“Elise-chan, leave him be for now.” Another voice said kindly. “We will return later.”

“Rintarou, wait—“

The sound of footsteps left his senses, enough that Atsushi felt that he was alone. He sobbed, tears continued to flow from his eyes. He couldn’t stop, not even when his eyes stung and his throat hurt.

“I—I’m sorry Dazai-san, I can only cry n-now.” He hugged the pillow harder, although it was a poor substitute to the warmth that he had felt from the most precious person in his life. “I promise; I will smile someday when I remember you.”

Someday, Atsushi would smile fondly as he remembered Dazai. He hoped, with all of his aching and broken heart, that it would comfort the lonely man somehow. To remind him the words that Atsushi couldn’t say, but wish he could have uttered to the man before. It may not change anything, but if those words brought any little happiness for Dazai…

‘I love you.’ He whispered silently to the wind, hoping that it would carry those feelings to that person. ‘You are not alone, Dazai-san.’

[datura-foxglove]

Please do Yumeno ability analysis

Sorry for such a late answer, I’ve been busy these past days. Alright, let’s start with Q. By the way, I dunno what is Q’s gender? So I will just use ‘they’. This one is kind of short since while Q has done so much chaos in the story, Q has never appeared again in canon so it’s hard to really see more of their Ability.

All images are from easygoingscans

Yumeno Kyusaku aka Q, Port Mafia’s most fearsome member and actually sealed because of it. Their Ability, Dogra Magra, is a mind control ability that pushes their target to become berserk and attack everyone.

Q’s Ability only works against people that had hurt them, so their Ability is supposed to be a counter-type thing. However, Q intentionally hurt themselves (by wrapping their arm with razor blade attached to a wire, making that the slightest touch anyone accidentally (or Q touches their arm to them) can be included in ‘hurting’ them and their Ability can almost activate at will now. I said almost because Q still can’t do anything if their target avoids them or is too far for them to touch.

(Q’s arm wrapped in wires with blades)

Q’s Ability or it can be said, ‘curse’, leave behind a mark (like curses from ghost stories) which can appear in any part of the victim’s body and shaped like a palm of a young child. The media for said curse is Q’s doll, which was created from Q’s Ability. If Q breaks apart the doll (it doesn’t have to be Q, anyone can activate the curse by breaking the doll if Q can’t do it for some reason. However, Q first has to ‘mark’ their victims or the curse will probably activate without any target. One doll can be used for more than one person, as seen by when almost the whole Yokohama fell into Q’s Ability when one doll was torn apart. The doll can laugh and speak, mostly taunting other people. It can even destroy itself).

When Q breaks the doll, the target will experience hallucinations in which everyone else are mind controlled and attacking the target, which will leave the target no choice but to protect themselves (it’s unclear if this is the only hallucination someone can experience while under Q’s mind control, since it’s the only time we can see into the mind of the victims. The victim may feel that they are only protecting themselves, but maybe Q also boost their own preservation instinct/arrogance/their desire to help others that made them fight back if the target usually won’t attack innocent people like Kunikida and Atsushi).

Usually, Q’s Ability is limited to only people that they can have direct contact with (since Q needs to bump or touch them to make their target hurt them), but for once in BSD we actually see if Abilities interact together and joined forces. John’s Ability to connect himself to the plants are now used on Q. With their senses joined with the plants, Q was hurt again and again by civilians who ignorantly went around with their daily activities (stomping on roots, picking a flower, trimming branches, etc), all of this pain went into Q and so, Q can use their Ability to almost everyone in Yokohama at once.

(Now I want to see other Abilities working together. Hmm... wonder what Abilities can join together so well like John and Q? Is this considered a Singularity?)

In combat, while Q doesn’t directly fight in combat, they can be a deterrent that hold the enemy attack. If they don’t know about Q’s Ability, Q can be a pretty devastating trap. While all the enemy attack them at once, Q then can activate their Ability and make the enemy’s side break apart because they start to attack each other in mad frenzy. If the enemy know about Q’s Ability, they will be unable to attack in fear of accidentally activating Q’s Ability.

However, Q’s Ability doesn’t differ between friend and foe. If there is any friendly-fire between Q’s comrades, then they will also fall into Q’s mind control. It’s unknown whether Q can select the people that their Ability affect or it just affect everyone that hurt him.

So, against people with Abilities or not, Q can be a very troublesome opponent. It’s also unclear to what extent their Ability can ‘blame’ someone for any pain Q get. For example, let’s say... what if Chuuya chuck a boulder at the enemy and then a piece of it bounced and accidentally landed on Q’s head. Will it still be counted as Chuuya’s attack against Q? Chuuya may fling the boulder, but a piece of it wasn’t counted as the attack. The boulder is an inanimate object that bounced because of gravity (not Chuuya’s gravity) or wind and landed on Q. Can Q still blame Chuuya for that stone when it’s not Chuuya’s fault but the nature? Or if Dazai left behind Mori’s scalpel as a trap against Q, will Q’s curse target be Dazai (let’s just ignore the fact that Dazai won’t be affected by the curse for the sake of this example) or Mori if Q doesn’t know that it’s Dazai’s fault and instead blame Mori? Will Mori be the one to receive the curse instead of Dazai, who is the true culprit?

(When Q is connected to the plants and his curses landed on everyone without fail, it can be argued that since their senses are connected to the plants they can ‘sensed’ people who have hurt them. But if it wasn’t because of that, then Q’s curse will only mark people that have hurt them. If even the most accident of accident can still invoke Q’s curse, then their comrades really have to tip toe around Q. It’s also unclear why Q didn’t immediately activate their curse by having the doll rip itself apart the moment they had marked the people of Yokohama. It can be that Fitzgerald and the others stopped the doll from tearing itself down, but it can also because there is a limit in distance of how much Q can move the doll)

Q doesn’t seem to have any combat capability, although at that time Q’s opponent is Lovecraft which... well... but their aversion to direct combat can be a proof that they aren’t really good at it, despite the fact that just like Chuuya, direct combat is when their Ability can be used in full. Just imagine if Q can fight almost as good as Chuuya. They can go around to the battlefield, letting the enemies get a few good punches and then faking retreat. When the enemies that had hurt them went back to their base, Q can activate their curse and then the mind controlled victims will then rip apart their own organization.

Q’s biggest enemy is probably Dazai, since Dazai can purify (heh) the curse when he got the doll. Q can probably hide the doll somewhere safe (what if someone destroys Q’s doll? Will the mind control go on forever or will it disappear?) to keep Dazai from nullifying his Ability, although Dazai is also a really clever person and with Ranpo’s help he can find Q’s doll quickly.

If Q’s attacker can snatch away the doll from Q’s hand or limiting his movement (Akutagawa’s Rashoumon to steal the doll and bind him, Demon Snow, etc), they can prevent Q from activating their curse. If they also can kill Q in one hit without giving them a chance to activate it is also preferable. The fact that Q or someone else has to tear down the doll is probably Q’s biggest weakness, because their curse can’t activate immediately. This give some leeway for their enemy to attack him, keeping in mind of Q’s doll. But this also means Q’s comrade can sacrifice them. Let Q absorb all the attack and even if Q is unable to activate their Ability on his own, their comrade can just tear down the doll in their place. It is unclear whether his curse will still stay if Q dies, but if it does, then Q only became even more dangerous.

Also, while Q’s Ability is said to be mind control, it’s unknown to what extent Q can control their targets. Is Dogra Magra can only make their target insane and attack everything in sight? Or can it be used for a more ‘classic’ mind control like controlling them to be loyal to Q and do everything for them? Unfortunately it’s easy to see whether someone has been controlled by Q or not by looking at their face. Q’s victims usually has blood streaking down from their eyes. Can Q look at their mind and control what hallucinations they see? If so, Q can know what it is their biggest fear or worry, and compiled for later blackmail if needed. Does it leave a scar in their mind?

Fighting Q is unlike fighting other Ability user. The problem is not done just by defeating Q, but is also to make sure their Ability won’t activate. Q’s Ability is the second in rank of the sheer destruction it can bring. The moment Q is in the board, people will have to actively trying to seal them again just because of the high risk they can bring. Because Q and their Ability is uncontrollable, really like a zombie virus that keep on spreading and wreaking havoc in it’s wake. In fact, I wonder why Mori even let out Q in the first place. It’s just too risky of a move in my opinion. Q is more likely to bring chaos to the town that Mori is supposed to love rather than helping his plan at all. Without Dazai at the mafia side, Mori literally has nothing to keep Q in check. Then again, no one knew what was in Mori’s mind when he thought of that. Maybe he has a plan? That is for Q, I think.