#or something idk I need to go get checked out

[kayhi808]

Idk if I sent this already so please feel free to ignore buuuuuutttttt…..

For first crush:

Abby’s daycare hosts all these different events and one of them happens to be a daddy/daughter dance 🥺🥺🥺…. Guess who she wants to invite? She makes the invitation special by drawing Bucky a letter and maybe having her mama make cookies or something. When Abby’s going to ask Bucky she’s nervous!!!!!

Thank you @crazyunsexycool for such a sweet ask! This will actually tie in perfectly with an ask from @ozwriterchick

Bucky just returned from a 3 week mission. It's the longest you've been apart since you started dating 8 months ago. Bucky made an effort to call and check-in when he could. He returned today, and wanted to pick up Abby with you. "She's going to be so excited!"

Bucky pulls you in for a kiss & gives you a smile. He's just as excited to see Abby, too.

As you walk up to the playground, Abby's teacher waves at you and goes to gather Abby's backpack. "Look who's here, Abby."

"Mama?" She puts her toys away and runs to the pick-up gate. She notices you aren't alone, 'Bucky!!" She screams and runs to Bucky, only to have him scoop her up and throw her up in the air and catching her in a hug. She giggles so hard. "You're home!"

Making your way back to the apartment, Bucky gives her a shoulder ride home. "How's my favorite girl?"

"I's good!"

"Listening to your Mama?"

"Mmmhmmm," she looks at you, "I's good girl, right? I no tricks you at all."

You laugh, "Yes, she:s been very good." Abby blooms under your praise and does her happy wiggle.

******

After dinner, Abby is noticably antsy. "Cans I be done?"

"May I be excused?"

Giggles, "Yea, can I be 'scuse?"

"Yes you may." Abby gives Bucky a side-eye look and runs to her bedroom.'

He brings your hand up to his lips, "What is she up to?" You shrug as Abby runs back out with a sheet of paper.

"Um...Bucky? I's draw you...um a letter." She hops up an down by his side.

"Did you?" He lifts her onto his lap as she puts the paper down in front of them. "What have we got here?"

You quickly scan her drawing and you know where this is going. "Baby, Bucky just got home. I didn't get a chance to discuss this with him. Maybe we can do this in the morning." You give Bucky a worried glance.

You both can see her wringing her fingers together in her lap, "Discuss what?" Bucky unclenches her little fists in his hands, holding them gently.

Abby leans forward, "My scoon, has um..a big party." She traces the balloons in her drawing. "My Daddy went to heaven, so um..." She traces the stick figure of Bucky with his black and gold arm. "I don't has a dates."

Bucky's fingers goes to the smaller stick figure in a rainbow triangle skirt & a crown. "Oh, wow!" Bucky is speechless.

"Abby? Baby?"

"But I want Buckys as my date, Mama." Turning in Bucky's lap, "I hads an Uncle now," she shrugs her little shoulders and plays with the collar of Bucky's shirt. "But I wants you!" She squeezes Bucky's face between the palms of her hands and giggles.

"Honey, I think Bucky needs to check his schedule. He might have a mission and not be in town." You offer Bucky and 'out' if he needs it.

Silently shaking his head, "I can be there." Abby gasps and squeals, throwing her arms around his neck.

Cautiously, "Buck."

He gives you a proud smile, "Your Mama can give me the date and time and I'll be honored to take my Cinderella to her ball."

"Oh, tank you, Bucky! I loves you so much!" Giving him a loud kiss on the cheek.

Of course she loves him.

@waywardhunter95 @wintrsoldrluvr @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @blackbirdwitch22 @littleredwolff @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05

[tinytennisskirt]

loved the meet the donaldsons headcanons i fear i need one with gf!reader meeting patrick's family and the two of them bonding over having toxic families and especially a bad relationship with their dads idk

a/n: you can so obviously tell that i didn’t see this request until this fic was half done, so i twisted it to fit- i know it’s not great but i’ve been struggling a bit lately and i just want to post something for you all

Toast to Nothing

summary: inspired by the request above, reader is visiting patrick’s childhood home for the first time as well as finally meeting the awful parents she’s heard so much about.

warnings: smut, mentions of drinking, confrontation, meeting the familyyy

“what? i wanted a tour,” you laughed as patrick pulled you down the vast empty hallway. it’s so big that your footsteps echoed just a little against the wooden walls lined with perfect sconces and beautiful paintings. it’s grand and pretty, high ceilings, and some tile on the floor, some carpet. “patrick.” he continued to pull you with a grin, you couldn’t help but giggle just a little.

“yeah?” he answered, turning to walk backward, pulling you in by the crook of your waist. “you can have a tour.”

“really? let’s go,” you teased as he kept pulling you along, around a corridor onto a carpeted hallway. “patrick, where are we going?”

“mmm, shut up,” he replied with a smile. “we were in the car for eight hours. plane for four. you’ll get a tour, i promise, but you have to follow me for now.”

“why though? we could be checking out the kitchen or the attic or the dungeon. your house is huge, pat.”

he chuckled, “later.” he pulled you closer and for a moment your lips lingered just over his as you spun into him down the hallway. you grinned before your lips connected harshly. he pulled you by your waist just a little toward another wooden door, crashing into it just a little.

“mmm- this is a beautiful door,” you said, trying to look around but he was kissing you too much to care. “patrick-mm-“

“tour later,” he reminded you, hand slipping up your jaw, the other hand already up the back of your shirt, hot against your skin. he kicked the door closed and you were suddenly pressed against the wall. the room was dark and the distance from the wall to the bed seemed a little long, but you were on your back in no time. “mm- take this off for me.”

“mhm,” you hummed between kisses, raising your shirt over your head. he grabbed it, bunched it up and it was tossed far away. you giggled a little as his hands slid back over your waist, your hips. your hands on his jaw while his tongue dipped into your mouth. your hand fell and you tugged on his shirt. “off?”

he nodded and pulled his shirt off. his hands then immediately went to pulling down your skirt. he could have pulled it up, though this called for it off of you. completely. you sighed and scooted back onto the middle of the bed, patrick following over you. his hand was kind, falling the rest of the way down your body, gently pushing your thighs apart. you took a sharp breath in as his middle finger pressed against you where you needed it. you breathed out hard. “yeah?” he smiled.

“yeah,” you replied, kissing him harshly again. his hand followed his middle finger, pressing gently against you over the fabric of your underwear. you hummed into his mouth and it only took him a second to pull your underwear to the side and slip those same fingers into you. his middle and ring finger wasted absolutely no time, turning your humming into a low moan. it was his parent’s house after all, who knew where anyone was?

“you’re so wet,” he grinned into the hungry kiss.

“long trip,” you nodded.

“joining the mile high club wasn’t enough?”

“guess not,” you replied with a grin and a sigh as the pace of his fingers picked up, “god, patrick, just fuck me.”

he laughed at that and it only took a second for him to strip you of your underwear. “you’re eager.” he pulled a move- he always had some sort of move. he was already undoing his belt.

you looked up at him and giggled just a little, “what do you mean, i’m eager, you didn’t even let me have a tour. i couldn’t even admire the wood of your door.”

“you’re going to need this first, a tour means meeting my parents.” he told you, his belt landing somewhere far off. you sat up and helped undo the buttons of his jeans. “this is going to be the best part-“ his jeans were discarded, he was hard, he was so hard. “of being here-“, he coughed to cover a groan that came from your hand gripping him through his boxers.

“they’re that bad?” you asked, slowly rimming the waistband of his boxers with a gentle finger.

“worse than yours,” he grinned.

“shut up,” you smiled, pulling them off him.

“i warned-“ he cut himself short as you slowly kissed the tip of his dick. “i warned you-“ he managed, not hiding the groan as you allowed more of him into your mouth. his hand was immediately on the side of your head, pushing your hair behind your ear. “fuck-“

your hands joined your mouth, adding to what you were giving. your tongue swirled as your head bobbed but it seemed it was back to patrick being eager. he pulled himself away from you with a pop, reaching down for his jeans, grabbing the condom from his wallet. you laughed only until he ripped it open with his teeth. he rolled it on and crawled back over you. your lips met his once more and he grinned into it. “who needs this more, me or you?”

“both of us,” he nodded. “if it doesn’t help, we always have the liquor cabinet.”

“sounds good,” you sighed, hands in his hair, breathing his air. “they don’t mind?”

“they won’t know,” he replied, moving your thighs apart with a gentle hand. he moved over you properly, leaning down just enough to kiss your nose before he began to push into you. you grabbed at the bare skin of his back as he did so, your mutual breathing laboured and a little bit muffled. you bit your lip as he started his pace, finding that rhythm he knew you liked.

you didn’t even get to look around his room yet and here you were, getting fucked on his bed. “oh my god.” you sighed. the gentle sound of skin against skin was perfect, rhythmic, and always good. always too good.

his hands held your waist as he fucked into you just a little harder, eliciting a slightly louder moan from both of you. the bed didn’t creak, god you were so grateful for it. your hands slid everywhere they could, desperately trying to get him closer to you. as close as possible.

with tasteful timing and enough dirty talk to seduce a priest, he made sure you finished after things came undone for him, burying his face happily between your legs. one thing to another, your hands in his hair, your climax came strong and heavy and you tried to stifle your moans but it was patrick, for fucks sake.

soon you were both laying on your back. “are we expected anywhere?” you asked through an exhale.

“just dinner. maids think we took a nap.” patrick replied, pulling you onto his chest. you happily nestled between his arm and his body. “we’ll start getting ready in thirty?” he checked his watch. “thirty.”

with your nerves taking the time to resurface you wished patrick fucked you closer to the actual time you had to go and meet his parents. patrick’s hand running up and down the side of your thigh that you had draped over him was not comfort enough. “are they really that bad?” you asked, looking up at him. he looked a little bit down at you, eyes meeting his. he pressed his tongue to his cheek- you knew he wanted to lie to you.

“they’re bad.” he admitted. “that show you like- the one with the hot mom?”

“gilmore girls,” you grimaced.

“they’re like her parents.”

“oh no.”

“worse.” he added. “yours are bad too, though- so you know which fork to use and all that.” you both chuckled, recalling

“mhm.” you sighed. “this is why you fought so hard not to come here?”

he smiled just a little, “warned you.”

“not enough!” you nudged him.

he squeezed your thigh gently, “they’re better with guests, not so great with me. you’ll be fine. my dad is the biggest asshole- golf-obsessed. my mom likes shopping, mostly…”

“i feel like all asshole dads love golf. that’s where they meet. it’s like a society for shitty fathers.” your hand grazed over his forearm. he chuckled, agreeing.

“wouldn’t be surprised.” he said.

“it’s your birth right,” you teased him, grabbing his arm. “you’re next!”

“shoot me.” he said, kissing you on the top of the head and moving you gently before sitting up. “shoot me now, actually.”

“you said thirty minutes,” you sighed, covering yourself with his sheets. the room was dark still, you couldn’t see very far.

“i know, but now i’m stressing.”

“no, no, no, why are we stressing?” you sat up just slightly, onto your elbows. “patrick.”

he pressed his hand to his temple, “i’ve never brought a girlfriend home. and i don’t know if i was supposed to wear the… the weird shirt they got me for christmas.”

“i know which cutlery to use,” you shrugged. “and i’ll wear a turtleneck so they don’t think i’m a whore.”

“that’s really funny considering the first thing we did upon getting here,” he chuckled but you could hear him truly nervous. it wasn’t any tone he usually sported. he was not the nervous type. you were trying not to let it get to you.

“yeah? so funny, whose idea was it?”

he shook his head, “why did we come here?”

“now that was my idea,” you replied. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry. but we were invited!”

“it’s okay, i want you to meet them. it’s only fair, i had to meet yours.” he half-joked. “no, i want you here. i’m just… i’m stressing.”

“i know you’re stressing,” you said, letting the blanket fall as you slipped off the bed. “stop stressing.” his eyes fell on the dark silhouette of your body. “we’ll get tidied and we’ll look really nice and presentable…” you walked closer to him. you could see his grin. “and you can turn the lights on eventually and show me your room and the house…” you continued. “but for now. for now, no stressing.” you stood just underneath him, your chest touching his, your feet on top of his, so close to him. your slid your arms around his neck and in seconds he picked you up and put you right back on that big bed.

“feeling better?” you asked, breathless, still on top of patrick after you fucked. again. maybe you were a whore.

“i think so,” he huffed. it was quick but god, was it needed. you bent and kissed him gently, sweetly, compared to how you’d just kissed him and he took it gratefully, big hands still resting on the bare skin of your hips. “maybe one more time and i’ll-“

you kissed him to shut him up before he said anything else. he laughed and cupped your face, kissing you back just a moment before letting you go to get off of him and clean up quickly. of course he stayed in bed just a little longer, watching the sihlouette of you reach for your things to cover yourself up. “can i turn the light on now?” you laughed. he snapped out of whatever trance he was in and was up, turning on a lamp. for the first time, you saw his room in full light.

blue walls. you knew they were a colour just not which. his bed was wood and his bed of course had the same shade of blue for a comforter and white pillows, which you knew. trophies sat on shelves and some memorabilia decorated nearby areas. there was, of course, a red-headed woman on a motorcycle on the ceiling above his bed. she made eye contact with you, you swore. “she means nothing to me, i promise.” patrick said, watching you eye her from where he sat on the bed, putting on his boxers.

“uh huh.” you gave him a sly little glance as you continued to look around. closet doors the same wood as the bed. dresser the same wood as the bed. wooden floor except for the carpet around the bed. game posters, star wars posters. he was a secret nerd, you knew that. his room was very him, but it was clear that he hadn’t lived there in a while. it was nice. and clean, which was unlike him, but not unlike the stereotypical rich asshole parents who of course, had the maids. you smiled at all of it. it was cute.

“we should be getting ready.” he said, getting up and going to his bedroom door. you were barely dressed, flinching when he opened it, pulling your luggage inside. “we have twenty minutes.”

so you and patrick spent that twenty minutes getting dressed and ready. he had a bathroom attached to his room- a huge bath which you would be using later no doubt. dressed and ready, you and patrick went downstairs.

the maids were waiting, it was scary. they were too close to you to whisper anything to patrick, but he kept his hand on your back. his parents greeted him next with open arms and strong cologne and perfume. his mom, slightly botoxed, wrapped him in a loose hug- one of the loosest hugs you’d ever seen. he tried to hug her properly but she evaded his attempts. you watched as his father straightened his tie and nodded toward patrick.

he was a greyed man, wrinkled, cold. his suit was nice and it was proper and part of you wondered why he’d be wearing a suit in his own home, but you remembered when your mom would wear her pearls in the bath, so it made a bit of sense.

“good to see you,” his mom said. her tone was cold and a little shrill. “i’m glad you’re home. how’s your tour going?”

“hi mom. it’s fine. i’ve been winning.”

“very good. how’s the apartment?”

“also fine. thanks. hey dad.”

“patrick.” his father nodded to him again.

patrick was trying. but these weren’t easy people, you knew that. the silence that followed was only a second, but felt like forever. patrick clicked his tongue, clearly already frustrated and he brought you forward. “this is my girlfriend, y/n. who is here, in the same room with us.”

“oh yes, hello my dear,” his mom greeted you with long-nailed hands on your shoulders. you smiled. “she’s pretty, patrick.”

“it’s nice to meet you, mrs. zweig.” you replied. “and thank you.”

“you know not many people can say zweig right. you have that down, miss.” his dad chimed in. “erich zweig, pleased to meet you.” his mother’s bony hands slipped away and you gently shook his father’s hand. a firm grip. terrifyingly freezing hand. you hated how he barely noticed patrick. “let’s eat, shall we?”

you looked at patrick as the walk to the dining room began. patrick’s hand returned to your back, but you reached behind and squeezed his hand. they didn’t seem horrible, but you’d heard enough stories to know that they were. dinner began and the conversation was dry and awkward and empty. they asked about tennis, they asked if you played and then asked about your upbringing. they asked about your ambitions. the topic never drifted back to patrick no matter how many times you tried. they were impossible people who were stubborn on things, stuck on their topics and god they were adamant on not speaking a word about their son. only mentioning him in reference to you.

you were glad they took interest in you, happy they seemed to maybe like you if you could decrypt their tones and inflections. did they like you? truly? god, it didn’t matter not when it was you- all you. you couldn’t focus or care when patrick was sitting next to you, rubbing the line of his cheekbone as his parents were leaned toward you. he knew you were trying. it went on as dinner continued. your hand was now resting on his knee.

“and your parents sound just lovely. maybe if you two plan on being serious, you should have your mother call me to arrange a lunch. a tea, maybe, erich?” she turned to her husband, her hand in the air aside her head similar to something stereotypically snobby. when she wasn’t asking you things she was telling you things about her expensive plates and cutlery. his father no doubt paid for them, she was proud to be his trophy.

“sounds lovely,” you lied. you were getting more and more frustrated. did they truly not give a fuck about their son? like at all? and her slight tone when saying ‘if’ you were serious? you tried to hide your expression, “this dinner was amazing. thank you.”

“oh, you’re so welcome.”

“do you cook or is it…”

she laughed loudly, “dear god no. not me. the help is to thank for every meal around here.”

you pressed your lips together and looked to his father. his father shook his head. “i thought maybe he learned to cook from you or mr.zweig. that’s surprising- i didn’t know that.”

patrick pressed his cheek to his hand, “my aunt taught me.”

“hm,” you tsked. “but he makes amazing pasta and you just learned- what was it?”

“pesto,” he replied. he was done with this. you could tell. and so were you. you knew the answer to the question, but you had to get him involved somehow. “for lasagna.” you hated how he reduced himself around them. it was so hard to keep your face composed. he pushed his food around his plate.

“i didn’t know you could cook, patrick,” his mother started and for a moment, you thought he was finally being recognized as a person at this table, but she continued- “you’d fit right in with the help, maybe i should hire you on.” you opened your mouth to respond to that rude mess of words. “with what you’re wearing, you’d fit right in.”

you felt your body tense. patrick looked nice, he hardly ever cleaned up, only when you asked and you didn’t even ask this time. he was trying to look nice for her and she just compared his clothes to that of her maids, her kitchen staff, using the words ‘the help’. her son, who she had been nothing but rude to, sitting here despite everything she’d been saying all dinner. and she still insulted him. to you. you, who loved him, you, who knew better than to go along with something rude just because she was his mom.

“wow,” you sighed, out loud, letting the disbelief seep onto your face. you heard patrick chuckle next to you, though you also heard him trying not to. you shot him a look and he tried to hide it, but you were both failing.

it was clear she took offence to the act of suddenly falling casual and you honestly found it a little funny. his father seemed to arch an eyebrow at your reaction. you tried to look away, tried to stop yourself. “that was a little rude.”

“i beg your pardon?”

“mom, it was rude.” patrick said, backing you. “did you hear what you just said?”

“patrick- i-“ she backed out. “you can’t speak to me that way.”

“you compared me to your maids,” he chuckled reactively. “and your waitstaff.”

“oh for christ’s sake it was a joke,” mr. zweig said, his voice hard and stern. you gracefully shook your head. “you need to get a grip. that was not rude.”

“nobody laughed. not even you laughed.” patrick pointed out. “it’s not fucking funny.”

you squeezed his leg, just a little excited that he said something. “excuse me?” his father was angry. “we invited you to stay and this is how you talk to us?”

“may we be excused?” you asked.

“i assumed that when you asked us to come stay a few days that it meant you wanted to see me. ask me more than one question about tour.” patrick said. “i wanted to see my parents.” his mother pressed her mouth into a straight line. “i wanted you to meet my girlfriend who is serious, by the way. we are serious.” you smiled just a little, nodding ever so slightly. “i expected you to be rude to me, but that was rude to her. to us.”

“patrick, rethink your next words,” his father warned.

“i’m just saying that we’re here a few more days so maybe try a little harder to be nice.” he said, feigning proper talk. “dinner was great. can we be excused?”

both his parents glared silently, but maybe, if you looked, you could see slight remorse, driven by the call-out. you hoped they felt a little bad. patrick had been feeling more than a little upset by the way his parents treated him, and you were glad he said something. his mother looked to you, a bigger apology in her eyes. but not on her tongue.

“it is really nice to meet you. thank you for dinner.” you added. that way it wasn’t all screwed forever. patrick stood up from his chair and he took his dishes, in a way you weren’t expecting him to. he took yours as well. they stayed silent. thank god they did. you were just a little scared, but you got up and walked away with patrick. the second you were out of the room, you beamed. “i love you,” you swayed into him, dishes to the side, kissing him once gently, but with his free hand, he kept you close.

he shook his head, mumbling, “i love you too,” against your lips in return, not letting the kiss end. “i’m sorry about them.”

you did pull away, “they are bad. i’m sorry.”

“it’s just how they are.”

“you made them think.” you told him. “they looked sorry, have they ever looked sorry?”

“no,” he chuckled. “i don’t think they know the word.”

“then it’s a step.” you added. “i’m glad you said something. they needed to hear it.”

he nodded. “so… tour?”

“oh my god, i’d love one.” your grin widened. patrick chuckled and began the tour, starting with the kitchen where he dropped off the plates. it was a big kitchen with a few workers who of course, let you each steal a cream puff obviously meant for dessert at the table. he took you room by room as you laughed about the tone his father carried and all about his mother’s famous ‘tea’s. you talked about how well your father would get along with his. room by room, hall by hall.

dinner was soon no big thing. even less of a thing when patrick lead you to the liquor cabinet which was really a walk-in room with walls lined with alcohol. “oh wow.” you breathed. “so we are drinking.”

“we are drinking,” patrick grinned, snabbing a bottle of something expensive looking the wall. with a harsh twist he cracked it open.

“right now?”

“right now.” he grabbed two shot glasses off of a rack and poured out two shots. you giggled as you took it from him. “cheers to… fucked up parents.”

you shook your head, “no way i’m going to cheers to that.”

he stepped closer to you, “you’re right.”

you locked eyes and it was agreed wordlessly, you both downed your shots with no cheers to anyone or anything. you let dinner slip into being nothing, sitting on the barstool in the walk-in ‘cabinet’ while he stood against the wall. you talked a bit about your asshole dads, laughing at the things they thought were okay to do. now that you’d met patrick’s dad, all the past stories made sense.

so you drank his liquor. and you hoped for a change, but what really would ever come of the dinner’s call-out? you accepted it was probably nothing as the buzz came on, but it didn’t matter.

took the bottle back to his room, where drinking turned into kissing again. a promise of exploring outside tomorrow hung in the air. “i’m glad you met them.” he sighed, hands on your waist. “even if they were assholes.”

you smiled, “me too.”

that was two bottles empty. with a few days to be more. and it was three rounds in patrick’s big bed, drunk and laughing and touching and ultimately laced with mutual understanding. out of all the things to admire, there was a great love for how well the bed held up. every time those shot glasses touched there was a wordless toast to nothing. if not nothing, then cheers to the bed. but cheers to nothing.

[certifiedsexed]

Hi! Kinda embarrassed to be asking this, but I also kinda need the answer in the near future and google's being royally unhelpful.

How much should a gynecological exam hurt?

I'm ace and never had sex or really masturbated as a result, so idk how much of the pain is not used to penetration and how much is possible vaginismus. I've had a few pap smears and two vaginal ultrasounds over the years, and every time, it's felt like someone is tearing me in half. I will have a death grip on the bed trying to keep silent and not cry out in pain... which might not be normal despite every obgyn I've ever seen behaving like it is??? Like, I've even asked multiple obgyns (I rarely see the same one twice at this point, which is frustrating but beside the point) if it's out of the ordinary, and it's always been dismissed as if it'll get better, but it never has. A friend of mine recently implied this isn't normal, so now I'm wondering if I've just always been stuck with shitty gynecologists.

Hi! No worries, google is universally unhelpful, I get it.

So here's the thing: you shouldn't be experiencing that amount of pain even if you're unused to penetration. Tests like the pap smear can cause discomfort and small amounts of pain [specifically when they collect the sample], but the penetration itself isn't supposed to be causing pain, specifically not at that level.

Also, vaginal ultrasounds are supposed to be very mild.[Sometimes they hurt a little but they're mostly just supposed to be a little uncomfortable.]

There's always the possibility you have trash doctors/nurses [which is unfortunately a common issue] and they're not doing it properly. Sometimes there's pain during procedures like that if someone is especially tense too but it shouldn't be that extreme and if you're having that regularly, something is definitely wrong.

[Which is something you can check if you want, being gentle, using some lube and seeing if general penetration hurts!]

An issue here is that procedures like this are often under-researched and people frequently don't listen about things like vaginal pain. Which is shitty as fuck and inappropriate but it's common.

Vaginismus is definitely a very possible cause. Your best bet might actually be going to an OBG/YN who specifically works with people who experience vaginismus and/or general vulvodynia/dyspareunia and talking to them about what you're experiencing.

Because it sounds like you're probably not experiencing doctors constantly doing the procedures wrong [since you're going to so many different ones], but doctors that are still shitty because they don't care about the pain you're experiencing so maybe talking to a doctor who specializes in what you're experiencing would be more helpful.

(Also, like I said, maybe trying to see yourself if general penetration hurts might give you some clarity on the issue.)

I hope this helps! Lemme know, especially if you want more specific info on all of this. <3

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Every since you wrote it it hasn’t left my mind and i love it so much

Just that one part in A Glimmering Collar, where we finally get tired of Jason avoiding us and we write down “I want you” poor Jason i bet he was was so happy and in disbelief, i bet reading those words, finally finally we want him whether just for the moment or we accept him and what he’s doing

He comes back at night when we’re waiting for him and he’s bringing his hand up to touch our face to prove to himself that this is real, not a fantasy that his tortured-self conjured up to have an escape and we accept him and maybe even lov- what…what do you mean you just want your questions answered? But you said-

I bet his little heart cracked more, feeling blindsided by this what do you mean you want answers he already told you, you don’t need to know or worry about it, answering things makes everything more complicated and makes him vulnerable and jasons just wants us to understand that everything is fine why do we need answers why can’t you just accept this accept HIM

Idk those are just my thoughts i love the way you write AK! Jason and i can’t wait to see what u write next about him! Precious boy he’s been through so much

NONNIE!!! Ahhh, yessss!! This is exactly what I was trying to portray in that scene!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! 💙

Let me ramble here, Jason comes into your cage apartment, just as he does every night. He's told you this, but he has no idea how you feel about it. But he wants you to be comfortable here, comfortable with him.

He checks the notepad, the one that almost always sits pristine and empty on the glass table, but this time, there are words on it. His heart rate spikes. You're asking for something. He almost feels giddy. This is his chance to prove that he can be worth something to you.

Expect, the words don't quite make sense in his brain. Alll you've written is 'you'.

Jaaon doesn't know what to do with that. He could wake you up and demand an explanation. Fall to his knees, and thank you for giving him a chance, for still seeing that he's still your Jason.

Instead, he leaves the apartment and spends the next twenty-four hours trying to figure out what you could mean. He doesn't manage to get a clue before the sun has set again, and he knows that it's about the time you go to sleep.

So, he gathers all his courage and goes to you, and the air leaves his lungs because it's you, it's always been you and you asked for him and he doesn't know what to say. He reaches for you cause he needs this to not the some sick prank the universe is playing on him and asks if you meant it.

But then you're confused. You want him to take the mask off. His stomach is twisting when he does. He needs to know if you meant it. That out of anything you could ask for, everything he would have given you, you wanted him. So he asks again.

And then you tell him you just want answers. And his heart drops. He lowers his hand. Because, of course, this wasn't what he hoped it was. None of his dreams ever come true. He can never really have you.

You want answers. He doesn't have any other than you need to be here. He can't tell you that you were the only thing he held onto in that asylum. So he drapes the choker around your neck and thinks, maybe, in this way, at least a part of you will be his.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

idk if ur asks are open but PLEASE MORE LOGAN X READER X KURT

also... belly dancer reader if u want (why? because every chubby reader is either fetishized, insecure, or it has nothing to do w the plot/character)

if you want it to be the same story go off but also if you want it to be seperate go off do what u wanna do

~For Fear That You Find Out How I'm Imagining You~

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader x Kurt Wagner

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: oral (f receiving), Kurt and Logan run they MOUTHS, implied sex and a bunch of sexual advances, Kurt is super nervy

Genre: fluff, & some smut

Summary: Logan and Kurt can't keep their eyes off of you when they see you through a window I won't deny I've got in my mind now // All the things I would do // So I try to talk refined for fear that you find out // How I'm imagining you ~ Talk by Hozier

A/N: Honey my asks are always open xoxo gossip girl lowkey all my readers are plus sized because I am and write with myself in mind but I'm happy to write one that says so explicitly!! Thank you for the request darling. This took much of my brainpower but man did I enjoy writing it

***

You walk around the room as your students practice their hip control.

"Remember everyone, belly dancing is a combination of sharp and smooth. You wanna make it easily distinguishable when you stick something versus milking it. Luckily, the music will absolutely guide you through where to hit things." You say correcting people's posture as you weave between them.

"Can you show it to us again? Like can we see you do it?" One of your students, Max, asks.

"Yeah sure!" You say walking to the front again. You show an example of the moves you've been having them practice. Caught up in your class, you don't even notice the duo whose attention you manage to capture through the large glass windows of your studio.

"Logan, look." Kurt smacks his friend on the chest.

"What? You wanna take a dance class or something?" Logan quirks an eyebrow at him.

"No! Well- do you think that's the way to talk to her?" Kurt's brows furrow.

"Talk to who man?" Logan frowns.

"That woman. The one teaching the class. She's gorgeous don't you think Logan?" Kurt says. Logan looks through the window curiously to check you out. You're wearing a cropped shirt and a pair of shorts that sit low on your wide hips. As you do your choreography at the front of the room Logan notices the cutest little pale streaks on your sides, like tiger stripes decorating your exposed middle.

"Well yeah of course she is, you wanna meet her?" Logan asks him.

"I- I couldn't. What would I say to her?" Kurt shakes his head.

"We could start with hi." Logan shrugs.

"But she's teaching a class."

"Yeah we hang out til she's done, ask the receptionist how long she'll be in the class." He says.

"Would that not be weird?" Kurt frowns.

"Maybe but how else are we going to get a chance to talk to her?" Logan drags Kurt into the dance studio and walks up to the receptionist.

"Hey quick question, how much longer is that dance thing going on? I wanted to- talk to the instructor about what other classes she offers." Kurt is impressed with how easily Logan can come up with a lie so believable.

"It'll be over in about 10 minutes." The guy at the desk answers.

"Cool. We'll just- hang out here." Logan says taking a seat in one of the chairs in the waiting room.

"I can't believe you did that." Kurt whispers.

"Well it was that or watch her like creeps for several weeks until one of us finally works up the courage to speak to her." Logan shrugs.

"Okay but we don't have a plan, what do we say to her when the time comes?"

"We don't need a plan we just say hi and tell her the truth, that we saw her and think she's gorgeous. It can't be that difficult." Logan says.

"You say that but she might hate us."

"If she hates us we leave. She also might like us but we can't know without speaking to her. Either way we should at least give it a shot so we can be sure."

"I guess that's one way to see it." Kurt frowns.

"That's the spirit. Kinda." Logan claps a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Logan turns his attention to his phone, leaving Kurt to his thoughts.

"I can't speak to her." Kurt says suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" Logan frowns at him.

"I'm having thoughts that would require more hail marys than I can count in order to repent for them. I can't speak to her." He shakes his head.

"Why? You think she's a mind reader?" Logan scoffs.

"You can't prove that she isn't!"

"Okay well for the sake of not sounding like a paranoid set of weirdos, let's assume she's not because we have no evidence to support that she is. In which case, most days you won't even say a curse word you're not gonna get in there and start spouting all the dirty dirty things you want to do to her. You'll be fine." Logan says.

"I can't think of anything else." Kurt says, eyes wide.

"Fine then I'll do most of the talking all you have to do is stand there. Looks like the class is over, show time." Logan pulls Kurt through the group of people currently heading out of the building and slips into the studio where you're organizing your things while you drink your water.

"Excuse me?" You turn at the sound of someone's voice. You know it's not one of your students before you even turn around.

"Hi, can I help you gentlemen?" You ask the pair.

"Hi, I'm Logan and this is Kurt."

"Okay, and what brings you into my studio Logan and Kurt?" You tilt your head.

"We saw you through the giant window and we hope this doesn't read as badly as it could but we just had to come in here and tell you how gorgeous we think you are." Logan says.

"You came all the way in here to tell me you think I'm gorgeous?"

"Well yeah, why not." Logan shrugs.

"Hm. And uh, do you speak, Kurt, or does Logan do all the talking for the both of you?" You turn your attention to the silent one of the duo.

"I speak. Hi." Kurt says quickly.

"Are you nervous?" You ask him. Kurt glances at Logan. "Don't look at him, I asked you. I know he's not nervous."

"I'm- a little nervous. I wouldn't normally do something like this." He admits.

"Well what's different today?" You ask.

"Logan sort of dragged me in here."

"So then which of you thinks I'm gorgeous?" You cross your arms.

"Both of us." Kurt says.

"Hm. Well, thank you. Although I don't often find myself the subject of interest for a pair like this." You say grabbing your duffle bag and slinging it over your shoulder.

"First time for everything right?" Logan says.

"I guess so. Anything else you boys need or did you just want to throw a compliment at me and be on your way?"

"What's your name?" Kurt asks.

"Y/n." You smile.

"Beautiful." He practically sighs.

"Thank you."

"Would it be hubristic to ask if we could take you out?" Kurt asks.

"The both of you?" You ask and again Kurt looks at Logan who this time looks at him too as if they're discussing something unspoken.

"Yes." Kurt says.

"Well, it's- certainly a bold thing to ask which I guess is worth appreciating. Which of you has a phone I can put my number into?"

"Here." Logan hands you his phone and you quickly input your number and call yourself so you have his.

"Give us a couple of hours to plan something and we'll give you a call." Logan says.

"Well you'd better. Or I'll be pretty disappointed after all this." You wink at them and leave the studio.

"What are we gonna do?" Kurt asks.

"Plan a date, and quickly." Logan says.

The two boys call you in under an hour.

"Hello?" You say when you pick up the phone.

"Hey it's Logan." Logan says.

"And Kurt!" Kurt says.

"Hi boys." You chuckle. "Have you planned something already?" You ask.

"Yes. When are you free?" Logan asks.

"I teach dance classes Monday through Wednesday for most of the day and Saturdays too but only til 4."

"We'll pick you up on Friday 6 o'clock. If you're not comfortable with us coming to your place, we can meet you in front of the studio instead." Logan says.

"My place is fine. I'll text you my address. Where are we going?"

"You'll find out when we get there. Attire is casual."

"Very well. See you Friday." You say and hang up the phone.

Friday comes along and at 6 on the dot, you receive a text that Logan and Kurt are downstairs. You take a moment to double check your makeup and gather your belongings before leisurely making your way out of your apartment building. Outside, Kurt is standing by a car and he opens the door upon your arrival.

"Hello Kurt. You look nice this evening." You say, winking at him as you slide into the car. You're sure if his skin wasn't a deep shade of blue, he'd be blushing bright pink. You wonder if he can blush.

As you get into the car you realize it's vintage, it's got those old school bench seats from the 60s that fits 3 people in the front.

"Hi y/n." Logan says.

"Hi Logan, you look nice too." You tell him. Kurt gets into the seat next to you.

"It's good to see you again liebling." Kurt says.

"Liebling?" You ask.

"It means darling, it's German." Logan says.

"You're German?" You turn to Kurt.

"I speak it." He nods.

"That answer feels evasive." You muse.

"My history is complicated." He shrugs.

"And what about you, Logan, is your history 'complicated' too."

"We're mutants, complicated comes with the territory." Logan says.

"Well- it'll certainly make getting to know you two something interesting at least." You shrug.

"That's a cute outlook." Logan chuckles.

"I mean, when you get asked on a joint date by a pair of- friends? Boyfriends? What is your relationship to each other actually?" You ask.

"We have known each other a long time. I suppose friends is accurate." Kurt says.

"You suppose?" You probe.

"Logan likes to pretend he hates everybody so he never admits we are friends but he's a big softie in secret."

"Oh hush Wagner." Logan rolls his eyes.

"In secret? I'd say it's pretty obvious." You laugh.

"Alright that's enough you two. We're here." Logan rolls his eyes. You look out the window to see that you're at an arcade.

"An arcade?" You smirk.

"We thought it would be best to pick something generally enjoyable, since we don't know anything about you besides that you're a dancer." Kurt says as both he and Logan get out of the car.

"You made a good choice. I hope you're ready to get your asses kicked though." You say climbing out of the car after Kurt.

"Competitive are you?" Logan asks.

"You have no idea." You wink at him.

"You are so on pretty lady." Logan chuckles.

"Bring it big guy."

You spend a couple of hours at the arcade with them, every game you play with Logan is competitive and every game you play with Kurt is just for the fun of playing. Kurt's focus is mostly on getting to know you, and staring. All he wants to do is stare at you. It's a wonder he can manage to focus on anything else. 

If he were honest, he's not been able to shake those unholy thoughts he's been having since first seeing you. As you race Logan in some snowboarding simulator, he wonders what you would taste like. When you challenge Logan to skeeball, Kurt can't stop thinking about how you'd feel wrapped around him. When you and Logan play some zombie shooter game, he imagines your lips against his or teasing kisses down his neck. When you play one of those dancing games he can't keep his eyes from wandering over your curves in your lowcut crop top and your tennis skirt. His eyes catch the part of your tummy peaking between where your shirt ends and your skirt begins and all he wants to do is cover the area in kisses and love bites.

"Dude, what's up with you? You've been more quiet than usual." Logan asks Kurt quietly when you slip away to refill your drink.

"Hail Marys." Kurt says.

"You're doing hail marys?!"

"If only. I should be. How can you manage to hold a conversation with her when she looks so-" Kurt trails.

"Trust me man I am no saint but it's much easier to ignore that urge if you actually try to divert your attention. Play a few games that'll maybe help you dispel some of that pent up frustration you're feeling." Logan suggests.

"What are you two whispering about over here?" You ask.

"You know you've been kicking my ass all night, I think it's time for you to take down Kurt at a few of these." Logan shoves Kurt forward a little bit.

"Okay. Pick your poison Kurt." You say.

"Can I pick you?" He asks.

"Not in public." You wink. "I meant a game hon."

"That one." Kurt points to an air hockey table.

"Air hockey?" You quirk an eyebrow up.

"What? No good at that one?"

Oh no, I just thought you'd pick something else." You shrug walking over to the air hockey table. You wrap one hand around your paddle and Kurt can't help but wonder what it'd feel like for those same fingers to close around his dick the same way. You place your other hand on the edge of the table and lean forward with a smirk.

"Don't take this personally, but I'm gonna wipe the floor with you darling." You say.

"Can't wait to see this." Logan says placing the puck onto the table. It darts quickly back and forth as you both hit it across the table. The first point is yours and you clap your hands when it slides by Kurt's paddle. The next three points are also yours and Kurt hasn't scored once. The game only goes to 7 points so at this rate you'll completely sweep. Logan walks over to Kurt as he grabs the puck from under the table. You can't quite hear their hushed conversation but you watch them whisper for a few moments.

"Aren't you good at air hockey?" Logan asks Kurt.

"I made a mistake here I can't possibly focus with her bent forward like that I can practically see down her shirt." Kurt says.

"Yeah, my view isn't half bad either but I don't have to pay attention to the game here." Logan shrugs. "Focus man."

"Are you two done co-conspiring over there?" You ask.

"I'm giving a pep talk, you're crushing him." Logan defends.

"You asked me to." You say.

The final score ends up being 7 - 4 in your favor. You're surprised Kurt managed to score any considering how obviously distracted he's been.

"Not bad especially since you're barely here." You muse.

"What?"

"You're distracted. It's pretty obvious. Is something wrong?" You ask.

"Uh-" Kurt's eyes dart away from you.

"You're doing that again? I thought we were beyond looking at Logan for answers. Just tell me the truth. Whatever it is I'm sure I can handle it I'm a big girl I promise."

"It's nothing." Kurt shakes his head.

"Oh I find that hard to believe." You hum. "Logan, do you believe him?" You ask although your eyes stay on Kurt. He looks nervous enough when you ask Logan that you're sure Logan knows exactly what's going on with him.

"Well- if he says it's nothing." Logan trails.

"You're protecting him. Cute. But I expect the truth when I ask a question. So again, Kurt, what's on your mind?"

"I don't think I can say."

"Why not?"

"There aren't enough confessionals in the world to compensate for the thoughts occupying my mind at the moment and I- I would never want you to believe that's the only thing I want from you."

"A confessional?" You frown.

"No." Kurt says and you take a moment to dwell on his words before it clicks.

"Ooohh. Naughty boy, imagination running away with you is it now?" You ask.

"You could say that, yes."

"I appreciate the sentiment of being gentlemen but neither of you is particularly subtle enough with your staring for me not to notice. It's quite clear you're both... influenced by your third leg for lack of a better phrasing. Don't look at me like that I'm not a nun. Although if you're hell bent on the whole confessional thing I'm sure I can absolve you of your sins."

"W-what does that mean?"

"I think we've spent enough time at the arcade. Now the question is, how far do you two live from here?" You turn to Logan.

"About 15 minutes." Logan says.

"Perfect." You say grabbing Kurt by his collar and pulling him towards the exist. "Come along Logan." You throw over your shoulder and he does so with a chuckle.

The drive to Logan and/or Kurt's place is quick. 15 minutes isn't by any means long but you're almost certain Logan broke a couple traffic laws to get there in 10. He leads the way to the apartment and once inside the living room, you face the boys.

"Now, I've never gone to a confessional but tell me your sins so that the gods may forgive your transgressions." You say to Kurt.

"I don't speak because it's all I can do to control myself around you. I find myself consumed with thoughts of how you would taste, feel, sound, the faces you'd make in the heat of passion."

"We'll start with taste then." You tell him. With a hand on his shoulder you push Kurt to his knees in front of you. Kurt looks up at you in pure disbelief, hands on your thighs.

"You- want me to, you'll let me-" Kurt trails off as you caress his face.

"I've already asked you to. Isn't that what you want Kurt?"

"Yes please." He breathes out.

"Good, so go on, taste me." You say dropping your skirt and panties to the floor, exposing yourself to Kurt and Logan.

"Christ almighty." Kurt says before burying his face between your thighs. His tongue slides between your folds and you sigh at the pleasure it brings you.

"Don't worry Logan I haven't forgotten you, come kiss me." You say.

"Thought you'd never ask." He says placing a hand at the back of your throat as he kissing you fiercely. You slip one hand up his shirt dragging your fingers over his abdomen enjoying the way his muscles clench under your touch. Your other hand slides into Kurt's hair, holding him against you as he laps greedily at your cunt. Kurt wraps his lips around your cilt and sucks harshly at the bundle of nerves. The sharp waves of pleasure make your knees buckle slightly and Logan's arm winds around your waist holding you against him as he trails kisses to your throat.

"Oh fuck." You moan, tilting your head to give Logan more room to cover your neck in blooms of red. "Don't stop Kurt." You say, fingers tightening in his dark hair. You feel Kurt slip a finger into your entrance, sliding in and out so his tongue can focus on your clit. Logan's hands run under your shirt and when his fingers begin to tweak your nipples your orgasm hits you and your shaky legs are only supported by Logan and Kurt holding you.

"You two are a dangerous pair." You breathe out.

"You haven't seen danger yet gorgeous." Logan says nipping at your ear in a way that makes you shiver.

"Well, there's plenty of hours left in the evening. And Kurt's vices are not yet relieved."

"I hope you don't have much planned tomorrow liebling. We're rather- tenacious." Kurt says kissing along your abdomen as he rises to his feet.

"I can take it sweetheart. Don't you worry." You say. You feel pretty confident in your words, and Kurt and Logan are forever up for a challenge. If the walls could talk they'd have a novel of stories to tell.

***

[loquarocoeur]

In which occasion do you think Carlie would safe word in yours!verse??

Like I feel if he ever thought he was doing something max might not enjoy or if he thought he was ACTUALLY hurting him he would use his safe word, but I’m curious to see your take on this cause I loved “red yellow green”, and I would love to know what you think would be the situation in which Charlie uses his safe word

Well yeah if he got the feeling something was wrong with Max obviously he'd safeword, but I also think there would probably be times where he just kind of gets in his own head about it and he feels like he's a shit person because he's 'hurting' Max or smth like it's natural for your brain to sometimes be like 'love of my life is crying because of me, logically that's bad and ergo I am a terrible person' and freak out in the middle of things

But also naturally sometimes someone simply isn't in the right state of mind or mood to go through with a scene, like if Max is looking for trouble and Charles can tell, but he doesn't really feel in the right headspace for it he'd just say yellow and tell Max that so they can figure out if they just want to have sex without Charles being mean or just some chill sex without the dom/sub part, or he'd say red and they just do something else entirely and leave the sex for tomorrow

Or there are times where you think you want something and then turns out you don't like it, like maybe Max is into something and Charles would probably use yellow to just say like um, I love you, but it's a no for me

Or sometimes things probably just go too fast and they're stumbling on something new in the middle of things and you feel like it's too much and too fast and you can't do this new thing without talking about it first so you'd use yellow, or if you're like woah panic, you'd use red I guess

And also I think they both have days where they're just absolutely insatiable and their sex drives just do not match up and it's the fifth fucking time today and 'honest to god Max I love you so much but red because my dick is about to fall off, go jerk off by yourself' and it's not even serious, it's just a thing to laugh about really (although I think that one probably happens the other way around more often lol)

Like idk whether I'll actually write more about it or not, but I also feel the need to mention that safewords obviously do have this potential for being a nice thing to base a more serious scene around and explore some heavier emotions, but it also gives them this rep in fic of always being this big, heavy thing when I think sometimes they aren't, like they don't always need to be accompanied by a massive breakdown, they can just be used casually to check if everyone is fine or to stop and do something else without it being the end of the world

[sluckythewizard]

THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)

[starflungwaddledee]

alright. look, we're going to go into this because i genuinely want to think you didn't mean harm by this, but it's unacceptable to use this sort of manipulative phrasing. especially with strangers, some of whom are kids.

this is not a call-out. i've hidden all names except my own. i just need to address this post i was tagged in, and don't want to add it onto the end of the original post. i could also have done this privately, but i want this to be here for the other folks who were @'d. i won't @ anyone else who was mentioned in this post, but many of us are mutuals, so if you see this post and you're feeling at all stressed out or bad, i recommend just clicking through because i'm going to go into this.

firstly, and i'm going to make this transparent, person who @'d me: i don't think you're being malicious or did anything purposefully bad. i don't think you intended harm or that you are "a bad person". i don't have a single negative thought about you as a person. i don't make this post to be mean. i truly think you made an earnest mistake that could easily have hurt others, and i am stepping in with the hope this can be avoided in the future! per my usual boundaries on reassurance seeking, i will not reassure about this further.

secondly, the post that you tacked this onto IS important and a helpful resource, and it is great to bring attention to it. we should be doing everything we can to not only defend against, but actively fight back against generative AI. many people cannot access the most commonly recommended tools (myself included), so a resource like this is fantastic and i'm glad to learn about it and share it! i don't speak for anyone else, but i've said before that i personally don't mind being tagged in resources that could help me or others and i'm usually happy to share them, especially if i think the latter

but, assuming that you are genuinely well meaning and don't know better, you need to know that this is not the way to go about it. i don't mean mass-tagging, which is fine in times like this imo, i mean your written add-ons that actively guilt trip every single person you tagged.

"if you weren't convinced by the idea of being a good person" and "I do hope anyone I @'d isn't a bad person" in particular.

you may not have realised, but these are profoundly manipulative and cruel things to say. regardless of how you intended them, they are inciting guilt in the reader, and especially in the people who you actively called to come and look at it. here's what it sounds like:

"hey! you! yeah you! come look at this!! come closer! now, do what i ask you to do, or you're a bad person."

there are a million and one reasons someone might not reblog something. being tired, offline, anxious, even needing to run a specifically professional blog with exclusively your art on it for your own financial survival which makes it hard to reblog important posts like this; none of those are bad.

in this case, only one thing makes them a "bad person", and it's "they're pro-generative AI and did not reblog because they want to hide this information to ensure they can continue stealing from creatives".

i'm fairly confident you don't actually think anyone you tagged here has that point of view, or that you really have any doubts about their stances on generative AI. in fact, of the folks i recognise here, they're all independent creatives, sharing artwork with fandom for free on the internet. they are the victims of generative AI, and like most of us, are facing a terrifying future and are already desperate to find a way to defend/fight back.

you do not need to use manipulative language like this to get us to care about this sort of content! this affects us all, content creators and content consumers alike!

in future if you want to direct folks to something like this, which is super helpful and it was good of you to do!, you can just @ them so they see it. you can even say something like "this is important and some reblogs would sure help to boost it!". this is still a call to action, but without the manipulative phrasing, just in case they cannot act for any reason.

in the end, guilt tripping people like this, intentional or otherwise, is dangerous.

at best it will make them feel like shit and they'll feel forced to reblog + share from you out of guilt rather than just believing in the cause. and sometimes it feels like it's most effective, especially when things are urgent; but in my opinion the risk of harm is just too high. because at worst, you could accidentally send someone into a negative thinking spiral. you can never know what people are going through offline, or outside of your spaces, and how something like this will hit them.

[theygender]

I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please

[hirazuki]

Hira's year in medical review:

Me, August 2023: *experiencing extreme fatigue, fainting spells, mood swings, sudden and drastic increase of suicidal thoughts, and intense hair loss*

P.A: let's do blood work

Me: ok!

Bloodwork: *normal except for prolactin*

Doctor: sometimes that's a fluke so let's retest

Me: ok

Bloodwork: *exactly the same*

Doctor: your values are higher than normal range, but not high enough to be in range for a pituitary gland tumor.

(P.A: go see an endocrinologist and get an MRI, that might be indicative of a pituitary gland tumor.) <- bless this person and only this person in particular

Endocrinologist, seen earliest available which was January 2024: *wants to retest blood work instead of ordering an MRI*

Me: ... ok

Bloodwork: *the same*

Me: can we please do an MRI now?

Endocrinologist: Well. Your values are above the normal limit, but it's highly unlikely that's it's a pituitary gland tumor because they are not high enough for that. Let's retest blood work in four months.

Me: ...................... ok

Bloodwork, May 2024: *THE SAME*

Endocrinologist: hmm, I recommend an MRI

Me: *gesturing angrily*

MRI, June 2024: 🎉 pituitary gland tumor 🎉

Doctor, when I went in for something else: I doubt your endocrinologist will want to treat that, we typically don't treat adenomas that small

Endocrinologist, who took 3 weeks to review my results: I recommend just monitoring. It's highly unlikely that this is causing your symptoms, it's too small for that.

Me, July 2024:

[djsangos]

//went to the dr and all they did was take my fucking blood... again

[belleandsaintsebastian]

.

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

[dykefever]

so many youtubers with commentary channels truly have nothing interesting to say all they do is repeat some facts and go and like yeah... its really strange ! over and over again. have some backbone say something ANYTHING !!

[perilegs]

i am my father's son (enjoyer of irl sidequests)

[yesyourstalker]

Makeup artist:.......... Are you nervous?

Baja: a little bit.... This isn't like in front of a studio audience right

Makeup artist: No sweetie, it's just a one-on-one interview.

Baja: that's good. Who are we interviewing?

Makeup artist: You're going to have to ask the show-runner, Mickey.

Mickey: let's go. Let's go. Let's go what takes so long putting powder on a face. He has perfect skin anyway. We had to get him to the dressing room. We start filming in a couple minutes

Makeup artist: I'm finished. Just need to map down some scales and he's...... All done. You're free to go sweetie

Baja: thank you

Mickey: So you must be then host of the show. Sorry I wasn't able to meet you sooner. I was on vacation. Oshi told me you're a really good candidate for this show. You seem to be competent you know your way around music....*sip* ..... Coffee?

Baja: I don't really drink that much coffee. I like tea though

Mickey: Green tea! *Snap*. .*snap*

Assistant: your green tea

Baja: thank you

Mickey: Well I know one thing for sure. She was right about the pretty face. Now as you get dressed head to the studio so we start filming promotional material Ramon should be there with you. After your interview which will count as the pilot

Tammy: Mickey listen I really think you should reconsider about not casting me for the show

Mickey: No....*sip*

Tammy: but I really think you should I mean I can at least be co-host. I'm great to be around! Tell him, baba

Baja: it's Baja

Mickey: No, we need to bring up the sea slug viewership

Tammy: I can be the second co-host

Mickey:....*sigh*...... Tammy listen to me. You didn't get the job all right. You just don't fit the criteria we need for this show and this channel. But hey you have other opportunities for other networks alright. You're pretty, you're bubbly and you have a nice rack. You can get a job anywhere with those qualities around here.... You're just not going to find it at this station

Tammy: but-

Mickey: goooooood byyyyyyyyyyyyyeeee Tammy!!

Security guard: Right this way ma'am

Tammy: Mickey!!! I'll have your fucking job!!

Mickey: we'll see you next week Tammy we're filming the season finale

Baja: she seemed pretty upset

Mickey: eh she'll get over it ... She's been in a couple of shows here and there on the network. She plays Kate the baby sitter on 'dock and dingy' ......*sip* ..... She'll be fine. Here Is your dressing room your clothes should be folded

Baja: alright... and I just head to set after

Mickey: yep your's and Ramon's chairs will be the brown arm chairs. The musician or celebrity will be sitting on the loveseat and will perform on the stage behind you

Baja: they're going to perform?

Mickey: yeah.. yeah they're starting their Solo career

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Ramon: hey... You look good. They spruced up your wardrobe too

Baja: yeah. I wonder if we're able to take this home with us

Ramon: probably. I think it'd be easier just to keep in our dressing rooms for now. Keep our work clothes separate from our regular clothes. Feels like bad energy to mix them together.

Baja: how so?

Ramon: I mean this nice brand name stuff fancy designs, colors and a hefty price on it. It's nice but it isn't really me. It's what the studio and the producers want me to be and I rather keep that at work when. I go home I wear my regular off-brand jeans, my 8-year-old sweater and a pair of kicks with a hole in it. That's me. That's who I am. A regular person, I'm not above anyone and I don't want to feel like I am. Get what I'm saying

Baja: yeah... I get it. You don't want the job to change you

Ramon: exactly

Mickey: All right! Hitch you got the shot?

Hitch: Yeah I got it. We can use this for commercials

Baja: you were filming?

Mickey: Yeah yeah no worries. We just wanted to film you guys interacting. We didn't tell you cuz we wanted to look natural.

Hitch: we didn't have any mics on so we couldn't hear what you were saying so don't worry about it. I'm the director by the way names Hitch. Nice to meet you..

Baja: hello

Ramon: hey

Mickey: alright so we're going to start filming the show in 30 minutes. Kikura is their dressing room.

Ramon: Kikura from C-side?

Mickey: yeah

Kikura: sorry I'm late.. I tend to procrastinate when I'm getting ready for these types of things...... Not a good excuse but... yeah

Mick: Well that's perfectly fine. We'll be filming in a couple minutes this is Ramon and this is Baja. They're going to be the ones interviewing you

Kikura: hey

Hitch: while we wait for that, let's do some more advertisements

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Assistant: alright..... Advertisement 2 take one...[clap]

Baja: Hi my name is baja and I'm the new host of the inklab's new show 'music at midnight'.... Me and my new co-host Ramon

Ramon: sup

Baja: we're going to be interviewing musicians from all walks of life

Ramon: and different genres.

Baja: We're going to have nice conversations getting to know them, telling us some really cool stories.

Ramon: a show airs Thursdays at 11:30 p.m. can't wait to see you there!

Hitch: CUT!.... Great! We're going to do some more editing and maybe some reshoots on that but here is your intro You're going to do this during every episode you introduce yourself. You tell them what show they're watching and then you tell the current news what's going on in the music world..... You're also going to have to do that when you start writing articles for the blog, but we'll get to that later. ... Here's the monologue script. If you want to go off script feel free... Go over it, memorize We'll film in 15...... Oshi! Good to see you..*mwah mwah* how are you baby

Oshi: Hitch! Hope everything is going well I just wanted to check in on everyone

Hitch: yes... You're going to start filming soon so have a seat....(Pat...Pat)

Oshi: alright..... I'm getting a call.....*ugh*..............[inhale].....[exhale]...... Hi Shimi! How are you doing dear?... Are you having fun on the farm? I saw some pictures warabie posted on squidder. You look cute riding the tracker hehhe....... Well you only have one week left honey..... yes I've enjoyed my break..... The church? If that works for you honey I guess it gives you a purpose.........*sigh*...(Eye roll)....acting is also your purpose I know...how's warabie is he having fun?......well tell him to try to enjoy himself..............yes ...... alright good bye hun.............

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Shimi: hm.....

Merv: Shimi it's your turn to take the manatees out to graze, take your son with you. Noiji start up the tractor I need you to harvest the octoberries, ikkan pack up squidmelons and head into town. Koi would you help me harvest some of the squid lemons

Koi-koi: I'd love to

Merv: Cirrina sweetheart you said you're going into the city for a school project?

Cirrina: Yeah just for 2 hours. When I get back I'll feed the krill and clean out their coop

Merv: All right, be safe

Shimi: warabie help me load up the manatees

Warabie: yeah..... What were you calling Mom about?

Shimi: It's none of your concern she didn't let me talk anyway............

Warabie:... All right, the manatees are in (bump...bump).....

Shimi: alright...................

Warabie:............so what's mom up to at home?

Shimi: she's working on project O.E.T network

Warabie: that's nice she's been working on that for years

Shimi: *humpf*.... We've been working on for years.... Typical of her to go behind my back and do things without my permission or opinion

Warabie:...... Oooookkkaaay...........hm.................hey mahi

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Mahi: hey dude

Warabie: what's going on at home?

Mahi: nothing much. Baja got a new job...... stop!........ Yeah, he's going to be on TV now. That's pretty neat

Warabie: tv?!

Mahi: some talk show.... Midnight music...... Music at midnight something.....neta stop spawn camping!

Neta: I'm not spawn camping

Warabie: he got the job!? How did he get the job?!

Mahi: I don't know, I really haven't had time to talk to him. He's been in and out of the apartment for like days now..... cod damn it!.... Let me leave the base at least...... fuck!

Neta:hehehehehehehe... I'm sorry .hehehe

Mahi: sorry... Neta's being an asshole...uhhhhh...Baja honestly hasn't been here and when he is here he's just there to get dressed and then leave.

Warabie:*sigh*....... good for him... Guess he's going to be the new breadwinner

Mahi: hey so when are you coming home?

Warabie: end of the week I should be home

Mahi: great apartments too quiet and-Neta!

Neta: what?! What am I doing wrong? I'm just playing the game. It's not my fault you always end up in my range of sight. Get good at the game

Mahi:*huff*... Can you come home faster? I miss you

Warabie: aww I miss you too mahi.. I honestly want to go home too. This place sucks ......I'm tired of scooping Manatee shit and hauling crates of squidmatoes

Neta: ask him the question

Mahi: *ugh*........are you able to bring home fresh produce and milk

Warabie: I....... I'm going to have to ask ikkan's dad that

Shimi: we're here unload the manatees

Warabie: I got to go.... text you later..........

Mahi: bye..... I'm not playing with you anymore! I'm done with this game....

Neta: One more round. I want to get a gold badge on this weapon I'm two games away. You can be on my team this time

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Cirrina: .......this must be the address..........(Knock knock)

Bayou: Cirrina! You showed up!

Cirrina: yeah....hehehe sorry if I'm a little early ...

Bayou: no worries. Come in, come in you can use your shoes on the shelf right here. So what do you want to know about krillarney?

Cirrina: I'm just you know the origins and the history of krillarney...... You lived on the surface for most of your life, right? Is that true for most octolings here?

Bayou: yeah... Most of us here spent their whole lives on the surface though there are some who moved here who previously lived underground

Cirrina: Interesting......so... And did your family move here?

Bayou:...... I think you might get more information from my nan.... Nana!!....... You remember my Nana. from church?

Nana: yes!? Bayou? What is it love?.....oh... Dear the little girl from church. Nice to see you again sweetie

Cirrina: hello..

Bayou: Nan do you mind if she asks you a few questions?

Nana: I have no problems sweetie

Cirrina: It's just a couple questions .. . I'm doing a five-page essay on octarian history in other countries

Nana: wasn't that nice? Well what do you want to know dear?

Cirrina: uhhhh .... When did you move here

Nana: oh I have no idea sweetie It's been years...... The war started when I was around......10 of 11 years old. I lived with my two sisters in a small village My mother was a School teacher and my father passed away years ago.

Cirrina: *writing*

Nana at the time my village was not affected by the high tides but it was targeted with conflict over land and resources. Next thing you know, I was being drafted for the war along with my two sisters. They just turned 13. They never held a weapon before. My mother couldn't even imagine them going to war, it was only after the first bomb we decided to leave. We had to leave quickly so we weren't able to bring a lot. All we had to pack was whatever we could fit in our backpacks. I packed two dresses, pair of pants, three shirts and one skirt. I also packed my Adva doll she's the only toy I played with for years.

Cirrina: *writing*

Nana: My mother was good friends with a man who moved to our village before the war happened. He was a nice inkling man Mr. Doal he offered to help us leave. His son got drafted and passed away early in the midst of combat. He told us about a developing sovereign country called krillarney that was currently taking in anyone and everyone across the world who wanted to get away from the war

Cirrina: *write*..... So how did you get to krillarney

Nana: we were informed that there were fairies and ships offering to help people leave. We set our trip in the middle of the night and met up with Mr. Dole and other people who wanted to leave as well. The walk was 3 hours straight. No brakes, no rest until we made it to the coast and we got onto a ship. It was a squid beak ship if I remember, The S. S. Escargot. We sailed for a week to krillarney making several stops picking others in similar situations.

Cirrina: was it just inkfish who were escaping?

Nana: oh no there were so many people from so many walks of life on the ship. Urchins, fish, cephalopods, Crustaceans. So many were affected by this war. I remember seeing some still wearing their military uniforms. It was their only chance to leave and they took it

Cirrina: when you got to krillarney what was it like? Was different from how it is today.

Nana: Well I can tell you one thing we didn't have these malls, outlets or a nice studio apartment like I have now hehehe. .... When I first got here My mother could only afford a nice small house with two bedrooms. Our neighbor was young octoling and his wife was a bass. They were enlisted in the military for years. When the war started they were completely against it. They were planning on having kids at the time they couldn't do that if they were at war. Unfortunately they weren't able to have kids but they watched me and my sister so many times that they kind of saw us as their kids hehehe

Cirrina: *writing*...... Do you ever think about your old village? What happened to it?

Nana:............. Well....um..... Like I said at the time the high tides didn't affect my home but.............. Soon enough it was............. Everything was wiped out and everyone......... From what I know now....... The water levels have subsided and it is inhabitable but............ I just never went back. Everything I know about that place is gone. My home my toys.....some of my old friends

Cirrina:.... I'm sorry.......

Nana: it's alright love

Cirrina: ....... I think I asked enough questions

Nana: are you sure? I could tell you more

Cirrina: oh that's ok really.... I have enough to write my paper. I have to get home to do my chores

Bayou: alright..... Do you want me to walk you to the fairy dock?

Cirrina: (blush).... well........ok...

Bayou: great..... I'll be right back Nana

Nana: Come back safe

Cirrina:..........................

Bayou:...........................

Cirrina:..................

Bayou:..............you know we have tons of historical sites here if you ever want to check them out..... Add some photos for extra credit

Cirrina: that would be nice but I really need to get home

Bayou: we don't have to do it today.

Cirrina: I leave at the end of the week

Bayou: Well you can plan something for this week maybe Tomorrow maybe?....

Cirrina: I can see.... Yeah I think tomorrow would be good yeah..

Bayou: All right so why don't we meet up here again at 2:00 and I can take you to the lighthouse, The bridge of new beginnings and I can even take you to the museum

Cirrina: Great! It's a date! I mean....uh... No! It's not a date..... it's a day out....an outing yeah it's it's it's an outing we're going out......for the day! We're going out for the day

Bayou:..heheheheheh... Here's my number....... I'll text you tomorrow. See ya Cirrina!

Cirrina: bye..hehehehehe........*sigh*..........

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Assistant director: 'music at midnight'.... Introduction take three!.....(CLAP)

Hitch:go!

Baja: welcome, welcome! Welcome my name is Baja! And this is my co-host Ramon

Ramon: hey!

Baja: I'm very excited to say that this is the first episode of our very new show called 'music at midnight'. What is music at midnight? Well as the names in the title says we're going to be talking about music and it's going to be airing during midnight.

Roman: yep so while we sit here and talk and do interviews. You're going to be sitting on your couch or in your bed and your nice warm jammies.....

Baja: I wish we could wear pajamas

Ramon: Right? We should ask the exacts for a pajama day

Baja: hahahaha...(CLAP)..... All right, let's get started.... Today's music news....... But before we do that, who's who's with us today

Ramon: today we have Kikura sitting in our guest seat

Kikura: hey everyone

Baja: so we Kikura here today and there the guitarist for the band c-side and she's a part of another group riot act.....now Kikura is it true that riot act actually came before the band C-side?

Kikura: uh....oh my cod.......uh wow..... Yeah actually that is true. It did come before C-side... Technically yes but at the time it was not called riot act.... It was actually called 'no boys allowed' uhhehe.... We were in high school that was our original band.... We were in an all-girls school. We were just a couple of weird kids just screwing around... We were all in theater together and we used to hang out under the bleachers and I don't remember who mentioned it but one of us said "wouldn't be funny if we started a band and we had no idea how to play the instruments"....and heh That's how it really started

Baja: it started out as a bit?

Kikura: Yeah it started out as a bit. We started to borrow instruments from The music room and we started to play, used to write music together like we had our own group chat and everything ... It started to get serious during second year of school. It started out as a joke and then just kind of started to really get into it and we really just stopped seeing it as a joke and started seeing it as more of a hobby and soon after we started to book gigs, shows and sets in people's basements. It just kind of took off after that.

Ramon: so what made you join C-side?

Kikura: so C-side started after I met Beika it was a small underground club. He recognized me from my band and he was really excited to see me! He told me that he was a bass player and his old roommate was a drummer and they needed a guitar player. He had a couple songs that he's written and he wanted my opinion on it. He wanted to see if I was able to do a demo track for him.

Baja: *nods*

Kikura: a couple weeks of talking I went to the studio and I met Uotora... He's such a sweetheart oh my cod.... We did rewrites and we wrote some more music. We did some test tracks and 5 hours later I was officially a part of the band...

Baja: what was your first concert like.... You played in sesame hall as the opener for wet floor

Kikura: I was surprisingly calm during the whole show. Really thought I was going to panic and freeze up because this is the first actual concert like a concert concert like it wasn't just a group of people hehehe in a backyard. I remember the crowd wasn't that enthusiastic when we came up but after playing 'click bate' people really just started to really get into it and we just formed a fan base after that.

Ramon: are you still a part of that band? After you released your new album with riot act

Kikura: oh yeah definitely. I'm still a part of the band I'm not going anywhere. This ain't that kind of band. Do we treat each other with respect...hehehe...hm... But no this is just a side project. We all just started talking again and it's just a passion project we're just doing really

Baja: and speaking of passion projects, let's get to the news....Nami one of the members of beloved yet controversial bands front roe has enough that branching off and starting a solo career. Today on Inkstagram she announced that she's working on a new album and writing her own songs she even took a selfie of herself in the studio showing in the recording booth.

Ramon: I think nami's very underrated in the band. It's good to see she's getting out there

Kikura: I'm so happy that she is. I only met her two times. It was during the black square music festival and the seashore awards she is so nice, she's so kind and so pretty. We were talking and I brought up keeping my music in a notebook and she did the same thing too. She has several notebooks of music that she really wants to make but it doesn't really fit the sound of 'squid squad'..... Well I guess it's front roe now but she's kept those book for years... I truly hope she's putting those to good use

Baja: You know this actually isn't her first solo work. She worked on a soundtrack for 'high-rise falling 4'. It was a video game for the gamer boy x system.

Kikura: really?

Raman: Yeah I know that she composed background music for the menu and she also made The third boss Battle song. Man If they ever make the movie of high-rise falling

Baja: they are never going to make that movie.... It's always in production hell for years now

Kikura: I've only played the second and third game in that series, but I heard the movie is going to be starting off with The fifth installment and going backwards which doesn't make any sense

Hitch: what is high-rise falling? I don't know what that is. What are they talking about?

Oshi: It's just a game that these kids play. The audience will know what they're talking about

Ramon: they should bring her back for the movie. It would be really cool if she remixed her original tracks. I love that for him. I'm happy that she's making music. I'm really excited..... What else we have for the news

Baja: SashiMori are no longer doing fall tours or winter tours like they used to

Raman: oh?

Baja: So one of the members, Paul. He's no longer able to travel because he has school so they're going to have to do summer tours

Ramon: that makes sense.... I remember their last tour was during fall during spook fest. Everyone dressed up in costumes and during their last set, people were giving out candy.... Folks was handed a bucket before they got into the arena. it was good candy too like people were getting full size candy bars..... What type of candy do you like? I like gum.... You could never go wrong with gum..... Good flavor, good texture... And you can blow bubbles with it. What about you?

Baja: I enjoy chocolate... I love a good piece of chocolate..... Especially if it has a filling in it like marshmallow or something.....Kikura?

Kikura: I would say I'm a hard candy type of person.... I enjoy jawbreakers

Baja: really

Kikura: Yes, it lasts longer than most candies and..... Besides lollipops It is the only candy that is socially acceptable to take out of your mouth

Hitch: do we have any chocolate sponsors?

Oshi: no but I can get with the marketing team and see what we can do

[one hour of banter later]

Baja: Well folks that's our show! Thank you for being here for our first ever episode. The riot act album will be released on the 22 so make sure you check your local stores for it....now enjoy one of their debut songs 'No planned survivors'

[riot act performing in the back ground]

Mickey: what are the viewerships right now?

Assistant: Right now the viewerships are sitting at 89.4 million...and online..... only 20k views... But that number might rise in the next week

Mickey: [inhale].....[exhale]...... What do you estimate the viewership for ink lab plus?

Assistant: Well..... Judging from the viewership on TV and the viewership on the app we might be able to gain..................... 100 million first episode maybe even more...

Executive: I don't understand it! they talked about video games and then candy, went on a tangent about handbags and backpacks. How is this popular?! This is supposed to be about music and celebrities.

Oshi: Kids today aren't really all that interested in celebrities showing off their fancy cars, expensive clothes and lifestyle. They're bored at that and so are the newer artists. They just want to know who they are as a person....if knowing about their favorite candy and opinions on games keeps them engaged and interested in their music and our show I see no problem with it

Mickey: hmmmm.....

Hitch: I think we might need a meeting for this. I have an idea

Oshi: what's the idea

Hitch: we haven't had that much traction on the app for a while. instead of making a recorded video the next time we film we do a live stream and have the audience involved with the conversation

Mickey: I like that. Keeps the audience engaged and keeps the viewerships high. it saves money on editing

Hitch:......... These kids are going to make us a lot of money

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Neta had 12 kills in one match and 6 of them were mahi

lmao fish was fighting for their life @fish-at-fish-fish-resort