#or so help me!

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 32 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

This chapter is short and sweet! Minus the sweet, whoops.

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @imusicaddict, @b00ks1ut , @mstiemountainhop, @awaterfalls anyone else please let me know.

Don avoided me like the plague. No one seemed to notice thankfully, they were busy training again, preparing for the warfare they would head over to face in Okinawa. I made myself useful but still there was little for me to do. The injured had been shipped off the aid stations and then home due to it all being finished over here. They kept only the fit young men who they would use again when they went to help the troops in the Pacific. 

When I wasn’t busy stocking medical supplies or treating minor injuries the men sustained in training, I walked aimlessly through Austria. I replayed the scene with Don, thinking about all that was said. I had hoped he would come around soon enough but still, he kept his distance. I also thought about leaving, I kept an eye out for the shimmer. I had made up my mind that if I were to see it, I wouldn’t hesitate to go back. I wouldn’t say goodbye, I would leave. That’s why whenever I left the base I packed all of my belongings and brought them along with me. Not that I had much in the first place, most of my possessions already resided in my medic bag. 

After finishing my menial task of stocking shelves I headed for the door, but a voice stopped me in my tracks. 

“Major Winters wants to speak to you Em.” Spiers had caught my elbow as I brushed past him quickly with my head down. I faced away from him, my eyes still glued to the door. I sighed nodding.   

Speirs led the way through the building to Winters’ office. He opened the door greeting the pair that spoke in hushed whispers, they straightened seeing they had been interrupted. Lew and Dick smiled as I stepped into the room. I hadn’t spoken to them in months. I never wanted to bother them, they were always so busy. 

“Thank you Speirs.” Dick dismissed the Captain. He saluted before exiting the room. 

Winters’ eye landed on me, I cast my stare down to the ground, fidgeting with my hands. I felt as if I had been brought into the principal's office. 

“Please take a seat.” Richard gestured to the chair that sat in front of the desk. I shuffled forward, dropping my bag to the ground and sitting.

“How have you been?” Dick asked politely. 

I flicked my eyes towards him, my chin still lowered to the floor.   

“Fine.” 

Lew awkwardly cleared his throat at my rigid response. 

“Well I’m glad to hear it.” Winters’ said after a beat when he realised that was all I was going to say. 

“Emily, I called you in today to talk to you about the future.”

I froze after hearing the words, ‘the future’. I glanced up again, both Lew and Dick stared at me with expecting looks. They wanted me to say something, but I couldn’t get my mouth to work. I nodded my head, encouraging Winters’ to continue. 

“I noticed that you never registered. We never officially offered a contract, but we assumed you would at least ask to be compensated.” 

“No, sir. I don’t want any money. I’m a volunteer.” I shook my head. There would be no use for the money I received. I didn’t have a bank account to hold it, people would ask too many questions. It was better just to remain undetected. 

“Yes, but even volunteer’s get paid.” Dick clarified.

“You can give my earnings to the other’s, or donate it to charity. But I do not want that money.” I stated firmly. 

Both Lew and Dick looked perplexed. I’m sure they wondered why on earth I was turning down a decent pay. 

“Is that all?” I asked rather impatiently. This meeting was making me even more anxious than I already was. 

“No. We wanted to discuss other things as well.” Dick stuck out his hand ushering me to sit back down in the seat I had started to rise out of. 

“The fighting in the Pacific is brutal. More cruel than what we have experienced. I just wanted to inform you that you do not need to go.” Winters’ face was pale, his expression sour. 

I knew of the brutality of the Pacific. The Japanese were ruthless, they didn’t care about their own survival, only the triumph of their country. It was an honour for them to die for their nation. A heroic death to be killed in action, they would rather die than go home injured, or pull back. 

“They have enough medic’s over there.” He pulled me from my thoughts. 

“But aren’t we sending men, sir?” 

“Yes-”

“Then you will need more medic’s to care for those who will be travelling over there, am I wrong?” I challenged the Major. 

He sighed. 

“I’m going to be honest, Emily. I don’t particularly want to send any of the men over there, but they don’t really have a say. However, like I said before, you aren’t registered, and I don’t want you to go over there, not if we have a choice.” His brow furrowed in concern. For his men, for me. 

“Thank you for your consideration, but I will be going if need be.” I gave a tight smile. 

The men shifted awkwardly in their seats. I know I was being difficult, but there was no point putting on a show, and pretending I was fine. It didn’t matter in the end.

“What are your plans for after the war? Are you returning home?” Lew asked, trying to ease the tension in the room. 

“No, I don’t intend to return back to America.” I shook my head, keeping my eyes trained to the floor. Even though I couldn’t see the men I knew they were exchanging glances. 

“What is your plan?” Dick asked hesitantly.

“I’m not sure. Maybe I will stay in Austria if we don’t leave, or somewhere else. I haven’t planned anything. But that’s fine no one is waiting for me back home, so I’m free to do as I please.” 

“Have you spoken to Malarkey about this?” Winters’ asked. 

The mention of his name made me snap my head up to stare at Dick. 

“Why would I need to speak to Don about this?” I questioned, venom laced in my tone. 

“Oh, well.” Winters’ stumbled over his words. 

“You two are together are you not?” Nixon finished Dick’s ramblings. 

“No offence, Sir. But I’m not sure how that’s any of your business?” 

My retort left the pair with their mouths hung open. I didn’t mean to be so bitter, but I couldn’t stop it. I was hurting. I knew they were only asking because they cared for me. But I wanted to cut ties and just flee. 

“I’m sorry. I think I should go.” I stood from my seat before they dismissed me, giving a half-hearted salute before rushing out the door. 

My breaths left me in short gasps as I tried to control the sobs that desperately wanted to escape my mouth. Hot tears streamed down my face, as I put my head down and made my way out of the building. I crashed into several shoulders, mumbling quiet apologies, never lifting my head to see who I was saying sorry to. 

I stumbled outside, gasping for air in between my sobs. I covered my mouth trying to muffle the awful sounds. 

“Emily?” I heard from behind me. I turned away from the voice, hiding my face from view. 

“”Em?” Speirs asked again, walking closer. 

I rushed away, but I could hear his footsteps following after me. I headed towards the forest, I wanted to be out of sight. 

Choking and spluttering I lent against one of the trees for support as I cried. 

Speirs moved me away from the trunk I clung to, pulling me into his arms. 

“I fucked up.” I blubbed out. 

“Shhhhh.” Speirs hushed, pressing me into his chest. His hand cradled my head, his fingers tangling in my hair in a soothing manner. 

His chin rested on top of my head, he held me until my crying stopped. By then I had crumpled to the ground in a heap as Speirs hugged me close. 

“What’s going on?” Ron asked as I finally pulled away. His thumbs caught the stray tears that streaked down my cheeks. 

“I’m not going home.” I told him. His brows furrowed in concern. 

“Is this about not having anywhere to go? Cause if that’s it, you can come with me.” 

I shook my head. 

“I can’t stay. I don’t want to burden anyone.” My heart hurt. I didn’t want to be a sad reminder of the war, like some stray dog someone brought home because they felt bad for it.

“I can’t ask that of anyone. That’s cruel. People have families they actually need to care for.” I crumpled a dry leaf in my hand watching its shattered remains scatter to the floor. 

“We love you, why can’t you ask that of us?” Speirs asked, his head dipping down to try and meet my eyeline. 

“I’m used to being alone. It’s my normal niche. This isn’t normal for me to be surrounded by so many people. I think I need my space.” I didn’t truly mean those words that left my mouth, but I needed to convince myself that I couldn’t stay. The more I believed it, the better. I couldn’t have any doubts when leaving.

“Do you really mean that?” Spiers asked. 

Ron knew me well. Which pulled a bitter laugh from my throat. This universe was cruel, giving me everything I ever wanted and then snatching it all away.   

“I have no place here.” I muttered. 

“What about Malarkey?” Speirs asked.

“What about him?” I snapped.

“I thought you two were in love?” Speirs asked tentatively. 

“Yeah, well things change!” I huffed. “But what does it matter? It still doesn’t change the fact, I’m not going home. I will serve until everyone else leaves, and then I will make my own way. That was always my plan, I look after me, cause no one else will! I will not be someone’s responsibility! I don’t want the charity, someone to take me home and then regret it. I can’t ask that of strangers.” 

“You think we’re strangers?” Speirs sounded hurt. 

I lifted my head to look at him. “Yes, we are. We aren’t a family, you do not carry the responsibility of an older brother, I am not yours to try and take care of! You have family, people who need you. I am not one of those people. I don’t want your pity.” The words felt like acid in my mouth. Seeing Speirs’ mask slip slightly and crack at my harsh words, sent pain shooting through my chest. He quickly regained his composure, taking a deep breath. Ron rose to his feet, a tight smile graced his features. 

“If you say so, Lane.”

That was all he said before we strided away. I had done it once a-fucking-gain. Pushed all those who cared for me away. God I was good at ruining everything.  

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Chapter 33

[macdenlover]

it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[filibusterfrog]

types of wizards :)

[ducktracy]

sharing a very sage bit of advice from The Simpsons' own John Swartzwelder that i've been trying to hamper down in my writing and drawing alike. let your inner crappy little elf do his worst

[wheelie-butch]

Fun game for Pride Month:

When you're at a event, count how many people with mobility aids there are. If it seens low, think about why that might be. Count how many disabled bathrooms. Count how many unavoidable steps. Try and find one accessibility issue at the event and afterwards contact the organisers to ask them to fix it.

Many disabled queer people are left out of the Pride month celebrations due to accessibility issues, so if you're able to be there, you're already in a position to make it better.

Don't forget your disabled siblings this Pride!

[bug-s0da]

blehhh...

i made an aa/lawyersona of @snapscube :3 we all know and love the lawyer+silly girl duos of ace attorney but it's about time the silly girl became the lawyer

[liones-s]

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

[hinamie]

mentor

[greykolla-art]

It’s healthy to step out of our comfort zone’s a little!😜

[shortmexicangirl]

'can i copy your homework?'

'yeah just don't make it obvious'

[seren-dipitous-art]

I’ve been obsessed with the Olympics for the past week, and obsessed with Dick Grayson for longer, so here’s the crossover we all deserve.

Plus, gorgeous sweaty acrobat in gymnastics poses? Only positives.

[mouseshift]

someone has probably already done this but

[j-amatus]

for her birthday, palestinian miku wants you to help zinh!

zinh is a 20 year old dental student from gaza who is collecting donations to escape gaza together with her family

please share & donate if you can!

[drumlincountry]

I was at a Palestinian solidarity gig last night & the one Palestinian artist who was going to perform had COVID so the organisers asked around to see if there were any Palestinians who'd like to say a few words instead.

A local guy who was born & raised in Gaza offered to speak. He started with "I'm an engineer. i'm not a poet or a politician. I don't... do public speaking… I had no idea what to say when I came up here. So i'm just going to tell you about the street I grew up on."

And then he did! He went down the street building by building. He told us about the ice cream shop on the corner, the grocery shop, the charity that supports people with intellectual disabilities. He told us about the people who he knew growing up, the families who still live in the different houses. He told us about the university buildings and about his friends who quit being accountants to start a band together. All on that street.

All of which is gone now, by the way. Bombed to dust.

[notherpuppet]

Guardian Angel AU 👼🏼🪽⚔️🩸

It’s radioapple and Chaggie because I’m entirely self serving in my fanart/fanfics lollll