#or should be bred out of existence

[6qubed]

like some'a y'all are no less racist, sexist, nor hidebound than the average conservative, you just have different targets

swear to god y'all should hear how you talk

the whole guilt-tripping language in posts about important topics paired with how I'm still getting bitches in my notes talking about why it's actually good to tell "bad" people to kill themselves continues to prove to me that a lot of people have absolutely no concept of social justice or activism outside of assuming the worst of and then viciously attacking strangers on the internet

[falinscloaca]

my sympathy for vegans getting a flood of “DEBATE MEEEE” comments versus my frustration that their explanations and reasoning for vegan-ness still being fucking shit

[caffeineandsociety]

There should be a term other than the cynical nonsense that is "horseshoe theory" for when the deeper you get into deconstructing some societal bullshit, the more the reality of it looks...on the superficial level, EXACTLY like the shitty assumptions of society, but for extremely different reasons

E.g., "You shouldn't make fun of white people's appearances because reverse racism is JUST as bad as any other!" -> "no it's fucking not and the fact that we call it 'reverse' racism proves it; making people feel bad is not equivalent to lynchings, enslavement, genocide, military and police violence, treating people like disease vectors, and every other way this is a structural issue with a massive power differential" -> "...in fact a lot of the aspects of appearance we make fun of 'white people' over are things like outward signs of disability, or things women are told to be insecure about to sell them solutions, because that power dynamic is so deeply ingrained in the public consciousness" -> "really, looking at how many people are just operating on a momentarily flipped script written by racists and eugenicists, maybe we shouldn't be inviting people into the movement who just want someone they can feel justified in attacking based on appearance in the first place, hating one group is not a replacement for not hurting let alone helping the people they as a class oppress, something something face-eating leopards and all......."

Because this kind of thing happens a lot and it is IMMENSELY frustrating to have to make sure everyone is on the same page every time you're saying, for example, "being an asshole to people just because they're [privileged group] is not actually good praxis" less in a "REVERSE RACISM IS REAL/#NOTALLMEN/STRAIGHT RIGHTS FOREVER" kind of way and more in a "hey just because it's cathartic and not as powerful on a mass scale doesn't mean it's more helpful than it is conducive to lateral aggression, never mind that it often falls into treating the oppressors' narrative as the only option" kind of way

[yanderenightmare]

TW: implied nsfw, implied noncon/dubcon, poly yanderes, sprained ankle, captive reader, apocolypse au, talk of fertility, murder of unnamed characters, mentions of potentially killing reader

fem reader

Just thinking about the apocalypse, the two army men who’ve long survived it in their shelter with barely any trouble, and then you, a poor girl trying hard to outrun your last captives only to run into them.  

You didn’t realize back then that it was like trading piranhas for sharks, too caught up in begging for their aid to think better of it. You should have just kept running, but your ankle was sprained badly, maybe even broken, and you were wearing so little you would most likely have died from the cold during the night if they hadn’t taken you in.

It seems unfair of them to have kept the giant bunker all to themselves, only the two of them, but you don’t judge. You would likely have kept it all to yourself as well.

This new world has bred new humans, and they’re all monsters. It’s honestly quite surprising they’d even let you in, given this is what they’re protecting, this sanctuary from the past, a comfort most people would kill their closest friend in exchange for.

Trust is all but dead, and so is honor or any other morality—you would know, you’ve lived out there for it all, only having survived by spreading your legs at the right moments. It’s a shameful tactic, and many times, you’ve wondered if it wouldn’t have been better to spare yourself and just die. What was the purpose?

This—you think. This must be it. They have showers and working hot water.

You don’t know how it’s possible—the original owners of the shelter must have been some type of millionaire. You haven’t had a warm shower since the world went to shit—years ago. It’s been a choice of waiting for rain or finding a lake, hoping it wasn’t rancid. Meanwhile, they have soap—scented soap, the lush kind you’d forgotten existed. It feels so nice you have to cry—rejoice—sobbing while lathering yourself, watching all the filth go down the drain, leaving you smooth-skinned once again for the first time in forever. You can’t remember having ever been so clean before, feeling reborn.

They have fresh clothes for you too—new socks and underwear, all clean fabrics, so much more than what you wore—pants, a shirt, and a sweater to keep warm. You didn’t know there still existed people who lived like the old days—you’d thought it was long gone, a bittersweet dream you sometimes have the pleasure of at night instead of the usual nightmares. Never had you thought you’d experience anything even remotely similar, but here you are—looking yourself in the mirror after so long, surprised to see a human looking back at you.

And they feed you. Not scraps, not leftovers, not rot, or days-old flesh from the last successful hunt—but freshly baked bread, vegetables, fruit—for fuck’s sake, they even have juice. You cry again while eating, and then you find yourself begging them again, “Please, let me stay—please, I’ll do anything. I can cook, clean, work—anything at all, I can do it, just please let me stay…”

You’re on your knees, forehead pressed to the heated metal floors—toasty and comforting, you think you could sleep better than ever right there.

“We’ll think about it,” one of them mutters as he gathers the plates. His voice was so harsh he might as well have said, not a chance. It’s clear by his frown that he’d rather send you right out again, leave you to the monsters.

“We’ll at least let you stay until your ankle heals, so don’t worry.” The other is more sympathetic, helping you up. “For now, let’s get you to bed. You must be exhausted.”

It hadn’t crossed your mind that they’d have beds—actual real soft downy mattresses and duvets and pillows. The two of you help make it together. It feels so foreign that you wonder if you might have died earlier. Some years back, you wouldn’t have thought heaven would resemble a prison cell, but now it only made sense—safe metal walls and a bed. What more could one possibly want in the world?

“I’ll wrap your leg for you if you sit.” He holds out a bandage roll, gesturing to your ankle.

Blinking, you can’t even register what he’d just offered until he’s getting down on his knees before you.

You panic, then. Bandages are hard to come by—it hardly seems worth it. “There’s no blood, you shouldn’t waste it—”

“It’ll heal better and faster this way,” he adds reassuringly. His voice is so soft and compelling that you find yourself sitting down without further quarrel, even when it makes you feel spoiled.

He’s gentle with you—holding you steady while wrapping it just tightly enough to be supportive. There hasn’t been a man who’s touched you like it.

“Does that feel okay?”

You can barely tell he’s talking to you. It’s all so lost on you that you can only wordlessly nod your head.

He fastens it just as carefully before standing. “Is there anything else you might need?”

You shake your head just as wordlessly. You can’t believe how nice he’s being. It makes no sense at all. Not in this world. Not anymore.

“I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to lock the door,” he apologizes with a sheepish look once standing on the threshold.

You’d been stuck thinking about how warm the room was, trying to remember a single time you hadn’t been freezing during the night. “That’s okay, I understand,” you say. After all, what’s a locked door in comparison?

“Good,” he smiles—it’s likely the kindest smile you’ve ever seen. “Alright then, good night.”

Once again, you’re left stunned. The last time you’d heard those words spoken must have been from a loved one long since dead. It makes your lip wobble again as you say it back, “Good night.”

It's strange—they could have left you for dead but didn’t. They don’t seem gullible—they can’t be if they’ve managed to protect this place for so long—but you suppose there still exist men who have a soft spot in their hearts for helpless damsels in distress.

As you sink into the comfort, draping your duvet atop your battered body, you don’t even care about the camera in the ceiling—blinking red while watching you.

“Did you have to bandage her up?” he grumbles as the other walks into the bedroom after having said his goodnights to you. 

He’s already in bed, observing through the cameras on a tablet—you were currently curling into the duvet, wrapping it around you close for comfort. You’d likely not slept on anything so soft in a while—it wouldn’t surprise him if you preferred the floor. But no, you drift asleep quite quickly.

“You know how badly things can heal without proper support,” the other answers, regarding it as no big deal. “And besides, it’s not like we often need it—we have plenty to spare.”

He removes his clothes and crawls onto the bed as well, lifting the covers to slot himself right next to the other man, who still has a scowl on his face.

“Oh, come on…” he drawls. “She’s exactly what we’ve been talking about, isn’t she?”

The grump doesn’t answer, still with keen eyes watching you, even as you’ve fallen asleep—as if waiting for you to do something befitting a wild animal in a cage. The other’s eyes fall to the screen as well, but he only awes in delight.

“Look at her, already fast asleep,” he purrs while zooming in on your face. “I mean, did you see how she was begging earlier, what she said? I’d do anything,” he continues, almost whining. “So cute, I could have fucked her right then and there.”

The other man sets the tablet aside with a disagreeing sigh. “We’ll wait at least a week for her system to detoxify from the wasteland,” he says strictly. “I’m not touching her before then, and neither are you unless you want to sleep alone.”

The other groans then, flopping down on his back. “Yeah, yeah, you and your safety protocols,” he dismisses before a smirk creeps up his face, glee twinkling in his eyes as he looks up at his grouchy counterpart. “But then we keep her, right?”

“Tch—we don’t even know if she’s fertile. The wasteland could have made her barren as long as she’s been out there,” the other shuffles down into the sheets as well, turning to look at his partner and the awfully keen look on his face.

“So we test her. Give her a medical check,” he says, again as if it’s not a problem, even when it very well could turn out to be.

They’ve already broken quarantine rules by letting you in here—and who knows what your real objectives truly are.

“I don’t trust her,” he states.

The other pouts. “I don’t see what one little lady can do—she’s hardly a threat. And we already purged the group that was following her. I doubt any of them made it out alive.”

True, he had gone out and sent several gas grenades into the settlement. Surely, none of them managed to escape, but then again—

“Pest control only works when you kill them all, and we’ve just let one inside our own house,” he grumbles.

The other one sighs. “Okay, so if it turns out she isn’t as cute as she looks, we’ll deal with her like the rest. But if I’m right, and she really is just a harmless little thing, we keep her, and I get to have the first go.”

Suppose there isn’t anything better to do aside from killing you straight away, which would only have been a waste of food, water, clothes, and bandages. 

“Fine.”

The other grins at the agreeance, humming, “I guess until then, we’ll just have to make do with each other—I've been hard since we watched her shower.” He leans forward for contact but is shut down as his bedmate rolls around with his back turned to him.

“Tch—take care of it yourself.” Tonight has been too stressful to tug each other’s dicks. 

He can hear him whine behind him, but he settles down soon enough.

Suppose it would be nice fucking a woman again. It’s been so many years he figured he wouldn’t need it anymore. They’ve made do with each other so far. But even he can’t deny, once you’d washed all the blood and muck off, once he saw the dewy hue of your soft skin and the silk of your hair, all those plush curves, and not to mention that awfully sweet look on your face—he felt the tug in his pants too.

He'll do a medical check on you tomorrow. He hopes you’re fertile. But even if you’re not, he might give in to the other’s wishes and keep you anyway. After all, they might have many luxuries, but the comfort of pussy is one they haven’t had in a long, long, long time.

♡ BNHA – KiriBaku, BakuDeku, ShinKami, DabiHawks, EndHawks, ErasurMic ♡ JJK – SatoSugu, ItaFushi, SukuIta, ♡ HQ – Miya twins, KageHina, BokuAka, ♡ CSM – AkiDen, YoshiDen ♡ BLLK – NagiReo

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[boringkate]

wow it'd suck being an actually trans person if more people transitioned for fetish reasons. it'd give people the impression that most people transition for fetish reasons. and it gives precedent to outlaw it as a sexual fetish thing, not a real condition.

What is (to you) an "actually trans person"? Someone with an incurable immutable medical condition? Someone that should be allowed to transition (an act so extreme and degenerate that no healthy person should ever be allowed to engage in it) only out of pity because they're too mentally or physically sick and weak to bare existence any other way?

The fascists that hate perverts hate you too. They want to crush you under their boot and then scrape the viscera off like they just stepped in dog shit. There's no appeasing them. You can't make them love you by being a good chaste respectable humble little white supremacist christian transsexual.

What else shouldn't people be allowed to do for sexual reasons? What should they be allowed to do for sexual reasons? Should people not be gay for sexual reasons? Or straight for sexual reasons?

Every one of us is here because our parents and our parent's parents were perverts who fucked and bred. Your great great grand mother got dicked down raw and nutted in and with any luck she enjoyed it. We're all perverts. And that's fine! There's no shame in it. No one is better than you and you're no better than anyone else.

Men and women aren't innately different. Gender isn't sacred. It doesn't need to be protected. Don't concede anything just for the chance to beg for mercy.

If trans liberation is going to be worth having then it has to be rooted in the idea that transness is both beautiful and mundane. Transitioning is no big deal. It's not regrettable. People can choose to transition for any reason (or no reason at all) and them doing so is something to celebrate.

[dark-konohagakure2]

Uhhh something something with Akatsuki guys breeding their (adult) lil sister :) Bonus for Konan to also breed her lil sister :,)

tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, babytrapping, possessiveness

All characters depicted are 18+

Deidara has never given much thought to having children, he's still pretty young, not to mention that kids are just annoying little brats that will distract him from his art, so he doesn't want any at first, but when he catches his younger sister spending time with other guys, Deidara gives the idea of children much more consideration.

His sister isn't much younger than him. Deidara is nineteen and his baby sis is only a year younger then he is, but the blonde artist doesn't care, she's his sister and she shouldn't be devoting himself to any man but him.

Not only does Deidara want to mark her as his property for possessive reasons, but he would be lying if the thought of breaking his sister's virginity and filling her up until she's thoroughly bred with his baby turns him on like nothing else.

Even if his sister refuses, Deidara will push the issue, practically nagging her into letting him impregnate her, despite the fact that he's being too pushy and they're closely related to each other by blood. Deidara really wants to make sure other guys know to stay away, and this is the most effective way to do it.

"C'mon dummy don't be like that! You love kids, yeah?! So you should be thanking me for being a good big brother and giving you one!"

Deidara is a virgin and an inexperienced one at that, all of his sexual knowledge comes from trashy porno magazines, so he has little to no clue what he's doing when he thrusts into his sister's cunt, too lost in how good it feels to coordinate his thrusts properly.

He also doesn't know much about impregnation and the subsequent pregnancy, but what he does know is that he has to cum inside of her a whole bunch so he can properly knock her to up and keep her all to himself.

Deidara might be inexperienced, but he isn't a complete idiot. He knows that his sister has been on the pill, but he planned ahead, taking her pills and throwing them out when she isn't looking, since he doesn't want any stupid pills getting in his way.

Once he's finally done he'll keep his cock in her for a while, telling her how she better not let a single drop spill out of her, or else he'll just have to breed her all over again.

"Oh yeah, that felt great~ Now you better be a good mommy and behave yourself, or else. I'll just fill you up again, un!"

If she somehow doesn't get pregnant from that encounter, Deidara doesn't sweat it. He's already become addicted to his sister's perfect little pussy, so he's gonna be breeding it everyday anyway.

tw: incest, sibling incest, noncon, breeding, age difference, puppet fucking, drugging, plugs

Sasori hates children. They're needy, loud, annoying, and just all around obnoxious. Sasori never thought he'd want to impregnate someone, especially his own sister, but curiosity gets the better of him, he wants to know if he can get her pregnant even as a puppet.

He rarely ever gives his sister much thought, she just exists to him, and he's only using her because she's the closest woman to him. But when Sasori actually bothers to be around her, he can't help but notice how cute she is, even if she is a brat by his standards.

Sasori won't go into things completely unprepared, he knows how to prepare for things ahead of time. He'll use some of his special poisons to increase her fertility and libido, slipping it into her food and drink when she isn't paying attention, although it is suspicious that her usually cold brother is cooking for her out of nowhere.

Once he's certain that his drugs worked on her, Sasori will take advantage of her, laying her down and getting on top of her. She's obviously confused, but Sasori will explain what he's doing to her in his usual deadpan and blunt way.

"What am I doing..? I'm putting a baby in you. Isn't it obvious? Or are you so stupid that you don't know where babies come from..?"

Sex with Sasori is rather uncomfortable for her. His body is a puppet, so it's wooden, and his cock feels more like a dildo than an actual organic penis, but for Sasori it feels completely normal and pleasurable, although it's hard to tell he's feeling good, since he rarely makes noise and never blinks.

Sasori is still emotionless even during such an intimate moment, he'll simply thrust into his sister's sloppy cunt, only really talking to tell her to stop being so loud with all her annoying crying and pleas to stop.

The absolute loudest he'll be is when he groans as he finishes inside of her. Sasori won't show it on his face or with his words, but he really enjoyed it, even if his sister clearly didn't enjoy it at all as evidenced by her tears.

After he pulls out, Sasori will be stern and make sure that she knows her place, letting her know that she better have his children, despite the fact that he has a very open dislike of kids that he doesn't even bother to hide from her.

"This better work... and if it does, I want nothing to do with whatever annoying children you push out... that's your problem now, little sister."

When he's done, he'll shove a plug into her filled up hole, not wanting her to waste a single drop of his essence, and Sasori will make it very clear that he won't tolerate her removing the plug until he says so.

tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, praise, infantilization, choking, cheating

Itachi is an Uchiha, so he has a natural inclination to reproduce, and he's also an older brother, so if he ever has the urge to breed, he can always go to his sweet little sister.

While Itachi could knock up Izumi instead of his own little sister, and his girlfriend would be more than willing to have his babies, Itachi just thinks his baby sister is so much more adorable and sweet, not to mention more tight and fertile.

He isn't a brute, he isn't going to throw his sister down and force himself onto her like a common thug, that would be mean, so instead he'll manipulate her into coming to his bedroom, and of course she does. She has no reason to doubt her sweet older brother's good intentions.

Itachi still sees his little sister as his baby, despite her being much too old to be considered that, so he'll be overly soothing and gentle when he eases his fat cock into her, not stopping until he's balls deep inside of her fertile cunt, cooing praises into her ear as he pounds her.

"Shhh... There there, baby. You're doing such a good job. Now keep taking it like a good girl, you're making Nii Nii so proud of you..."

He's almost too gentle when he's breeding her, treating her like a porcelain doll that can shatter with even the most slight of pressure, he also doesn't want to risk being too rough when he's trying to impregnate her, not wanting to damage the cute little womb that he's going to fill up with new Uchihas. However, he will choke her slightly, his slender hand squeezing her neck as he gets close.

Itachi is almost a completely different person when he's inside his sister. He's usually a doting yet distant older brother, but he becomes almost clingy when he's fucking her, his heavier body pressed flush against hers and his hands constantly gripping her body as he pounds into her, whispering praises into her ear.

He's nothing if not thorough, he wants to be completely certain that he's bred her well and proper, so he won't stop even after cumming inside of her countless times. She obviously grows tired and overwhelmed from the prolonged breeding session, but he's too focused on claiming her sweet pussy to stop.

When he is finally done filling her to the brim, he'll kindly manipulate incentivize her into keeping this as their little secret, offering to spend more time with her and train her despite his busy mission schedule.

"Good girl, you made me feel so good... Now, if you promise to be good and not tell anyone about this, I'll help you with your shuriken jutsu later, doesn't that sound nice?"

He'll never call himself a pervert, but he doesn't exactly hide how much it turns him on to see his sister cutely limp around the house afterwards, her big brother's seed stuffed inside her womb, unbeknownst to the rest of the family.

tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, monster cocks, double penetration, age difference, size difference, biting, victim blaming

Kisame has always been a more hands off elder brother. His sister didn't inherit the shark like features that he has, so it's almost impossible to believe that such a sweet and cute looking girl is so closely related to the Monster of The Mist, and Kissme himself isn't immune to her cuteness.

Kisame is a bit strange when it comes to his sex drive, on some days sex is the last thing on his mind, but on other days he's practically a feral animal in heat that needs a wet hole to breed, and his poor sister just so happens to catch him on one of those days.

He's a big guy, so he can easily just hold her down and use her like a little fleshlight, and that's exactly what she does, as soon as he gets his hands on her he's pinning her down on the nearest surface and stuffing her full of his dual cocks.

While Kisame technically doesn't need to use both of his cocks in order to breed, he wants to, and his poor sister's pussy will have to suffer for it as she's filled up with both of her brother's huge cocks.

"Fuck!! Keep squeezing my cocks like that, bitch. Your big bro wants to fill ya up real good, so no more bitchin' and whinin'~"

Even if he wasn't trying to be rough, his thrusts are still brutal, his large thighs pressed against her smaller ones as he shoves himself into her over and over again, his deadly teeth biting down on any bit of her skin that they can reach.

Due to his menacing appearance and even more monstrous reputation, Kisame doesn't get laid very often, so he is very pent up, his huge and heavy balls slapping against her clit as he fills her up with his thick cocks, shooting his pent up load into her countless times.

He has very high stamina, so the shark-like man is able to go at it for hours on end, never having to take breaks even when she's hardly conscious underneath him and begging him to stop.

Once he is finally done with her, most likely having fucked her from dusk until dawn, he'll be somewhat apologetic, although will ultimately blame her for his actions. She knows how Kisame gets sometimes, so she should have been a good girl and known better.

"Ahh~ Sorry about that, babygirl, guess I got a bit carried away... Maybe don't go actin' all cute around me next time..."

Kisame isn't trying to knock her up because he wants kids, he's too busy slicing his enemies to ribbons for something like that, he just can't control his feral urges when he's around he sweet little cunt.

tw: incest, sibling incest, noncon, breeding, sadism, abuse, degradation, blood kink, ritual sex, threats, bondage

Unlike some others, Hidan doesn't want to knock his sister up because of a deep possessiveness or need for control, Hidan just wants to breed her because the sadist thinks it would be absolutely hilarious to see his sister all knocked up.

He isn't a nice big brother at all, Hidan is always picking on his sister and making her feel dirty about herself, so his little sister will try to avoid being alone with him at all costs, but Hidan gets her alone eventually...

He'll drag his sister into his room under the guise of a ritual for his beloved Lord Jashin, he'll even threaten her into accepting the "ritual" telling her that she either gets to participate in a breeding ritual or a blood ritual with him, so she has little choice in the matter.

He's quick to tie her down on his bed, making sure she can't move when he has his way with her. Hidan doesn't gag her however, since no one else lives with them and their parents are out of the picture, she can scream and cry in pain as loud as she wants, it's music to his ears.

"Cmon, just take it you dumb little hoe! You're always dressed like a slut anyway, so just take my cum and get knocked up already!"

Hidan is brutally rough with her, almost to the point of drawing blood, and if she does end up bleeding from his treatment, then that's even better, since blood turns Hidan on like nothing else.

While not inexperienced, Hidan doesn't know how to be gentle during sex, nor does he care to learn, so his cock will roughly bully it's way into her tight pussy while Hidan pounds into her and breeds her with all the carefulness and grace of a rabid dog in heat, even drooling like one during the act.

Hidan never shuts up when he's fucking her, he always has to be making some sort of noise, whether it be degrading her, openly fantasizing about her pregnant body, or just loudly grunting and moaning like a pornstar while he's fucking her.

He has quite a bit of stamina, so he can stuff her full of cum all night long. When he's finished cramming her womb full of his seed, he'll make sure she knows her place and what she's supposed to do now.

"Phew! That felt great, slut! Now you better raise this stupid little brat to follow the ways of Lord Jashin, got it, little sis?"

Hidan doesn't care to be a parent or an uncle to the kid, in fact if his sister doesn't behave herself from now on, the brat might just be his next sacrifice.

tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, age difference, abuse, tentacles, bondage

Despite his very old age, Kakuzu does have a younger sibling who is, while an adult, is also significantly younger than him. Kakuzu doesn't really get along with his sister very much due to their age difference, not to mention how expensive it is to keep her housed and fed.

He can't stand having a girl around his home "mooching" off of him and being a little freeloader. Kakuzu values his money more than anything, including her, so he figures that it's finally time to make her earn her keep and get some responsibility.

Kakuzu is a very big and muscular man, so he can easily manhandle and drag her away to whatever room is closest so he can breed her fertile womb. Her struggles are hardly felt by him, his skin and pain tolerance hardened by decades of battle.

He'll use the threads in his body to stretch out her pussy and prepare her for his cock. The process is incredibly invasive and uncomfortable, especially with her struggling underneath him, but Kakuzu will just scold her for attempting to fight back against him.

"Shut up you little brat. I'm just stretching out your little cunt for me, it wouldn't hurt so much if you weren't so damn tight..."

Once she's properly stretched out to his liking, Kakuzu will use his black threads to restrain her, wrapping around her limbs and keeping her legs spread apart and open to Kakuzu's greedy eyes. The immortal man wastes no time, shoving his cock inside of her without any warning or permission.

Kakuzu is almost as experience in sex as he is in battle, he's nearly a century old so he's had quite a few partners, some more willing than others. Kakuzu isn't experienced in lovemaking however, just in fucking and getting his rocks off.

He isn't very talkative, occasionally groaning and telling her to shut up at the very most. While Kakuzu doesn't want kids, there is a primal part of him that wants to stuff her full of cum and make her his, his thrusts will speed up ever so slightly when these thoughts cross his mind.

While his stamina isn't bad, he won't fuck her for too long, having more important things to do, but he'll still empty a lot of cum inside of her, not even bothering to use any protection. He is rather old anyway, so he probably doesn't have to worry about her getting impregnated from his seed.

"You better not go having any children now, you little idiot. I already have one brat to deal with, the last thing I need is another..."

If she does end up having his child, Kakuzu won't be very happy about it, only tolerating the kid if it somehow benefits him financially, or just keeps his little sister out of his hair and wallet.

tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, God complex, praise, mating press

Pain is an incredibly busy man, being the leader of an organization full of eccentric and dangerous individuals, so he's more focused on that family of his instead of his actual one, which comprises of only his younger sister, whom Pain deeply cherishes despite his cold demeanor.

While not a very remorseful individual most of the time, Pain can't help but feel somewhat bad for neglecting his dear sister, so he decides to give her some very special attention when he finally makes time for her.

Pain starts off rather slow, putting an arm around her shoulder in an affectionate gesture before escalating, holding her against his body, which is as cold as a corpse and rigid due to the rods in his body, the proximity quickly makes her very uncomfortable.

Pain can tell she is uncomfortable but doesn't let that deter him very much at all. He wants to make up for lost time, and he won't let her shyness get in the way of that goal.

"Hush now, little one. You should be feeling very grateful right now, not everybody is lucky enough to bear the child of a God."

He'll fuck her on his bed so that his cold body doesn't cause her too much discomfort during the breeding. While he doesn't go out of his way to be rough, he doesn't make much effort to be gentle either, the end goal is to cum inside of her, not to provide pleasure.

Pain is an incredibly imposing figure, even when he doesn't mean to be. His Rinnegan is staring into her very soul as he thrusts into her, the purple circular pattern showing his overwhelming power over her and almost every other human in the world.

Pain is strong physically as well, not just with his eyes but with his body as well, holding his sister down in the mating press while he pounds into her cunt, making sure none of his precious seed spills out of her.

He cums quite a bit, being rather pent up due to his lack of partners and sexual release, so she'll almost certainly be thoroughly knocked up by the time Pain is done with her, he'll even spare her a few kind wonders afterwards.

"Good girl, you did well. Now you'll have someone too keep your company while your elder brother is too busy. Aren't I so benevolent?"

Pain won't be a very attentive parent, he's already too concerned with running his organization and planning their world domination, but he won't be cruel either, occasionally making time for his little wife sister and their offspring.

tw: incest, sibling incest, dub/noncon, breeding, futanari/dickgirl, age difference, manipulation, slight misandry

Konan is a very gentle older sister, helping her dear younger sister with whatever she needs. But Konan is only human, and even she has some urges that are very far from gentle or angelic.

Konan is a very unique woman, she has both a cock and a pair of beautiful breasts, so she can satisfy her sisters emotional needs for a womanly presence, and her physical needs for a male one. But of course her innocent little sister isn't very aware of her elder sister's secret part just yet.

When Konan can't resist the urge to have her dearest sister any longer, she is easily able to manipulate the situation to get her sister alone. The younger sibling adores her older sister, so she'll think nothing of Konan getting rather touchy feely at first.

Even if she does notice Konan getting too close to comfort, Konan can easily talk her way into things, telling her sister how good and normal these sorts of interactions between family members apparently are.

"Shhh, there's nothing strange about this, my little angel. We're both girls after all, so we're allowed to be close like this..."

Konan is almost too gentle, being slow when she pushes her cock inside of her sister, making the younger woman feel every single inch as it slides into her virgin pussy, the feeling is both pleasurable and torturous at once.

Konan's cock is rather big despite her lithe frame, so she's easily able to hit her sister's womb with each thrust, her thick meat stretching her out and filling her fertile depths to the brim with her cum.

She would never wittingly harm her dearest sister, but even a woman as angelic and composed as Konan can't help but get lost in the heat of the moment when she's so deep inside her most cherished treasure, her thrusts speeding up when she's getting especially close to cumming again.

Konan won't stop until she is certain that her sister has been impregnated, then she'll finally be able to keep her sister to herself completely, and without having to worry about any undesirable men getting their perverted hands on her innocent baby sister.

"That's my good little girl... Now we can make a new family together, just the two of us. There's no need for any mean, scary men when you have me..."

Once she's impregnated her little sister, Konan won't let the girl out of her sight for even a minute, keeping a close eye on her little angel and the growing bundle of joy growing in her womb.

[trainsinanime]

I'm not sure I have anything interesting to say about it, but I am very intrigued by the way The Locked Tomb portrays cavaliers, necromancers and lyctorhood as relationships.

First of all, Necromancer+Cavalier is a metaphor for marriage, that's obvious table stakes. It's explicitly non-romantic (or should be, anyway, in the way the society there has constructed it), but it is intense, highly devoted, starts with a vow, goes "til death do us part" ("one flesh, one end").

In the series Cavalier and Necromancer are a form of gender roles, and they map incredibly well onto the most stereotypical gender roles we have in our society. The Cavalier has stereotypical masculine traits: The fighter, the protector, up on the front lines, physically active. The Necromancer has stereotypical feminine traits: Weak, frail, but whatever the necromantic equivalent of nurturing is, with power over death and life. In the mythology and "gender roles" of the nine houses, necromancy is sort of not quite but still a bit equivalent to "the mystical power of women to bring forth life". And yes, this is all very conservative and cishet-normative and so on.

Of course the books then immediately, from moment one, subvert this on at least three different layers.

The first layer is that the feminine-coded Necromancer is the head of the deadly family in the society, and the masculine-coded Cavalier is the support, the disposable one.

The other layer is that the book distributes the roles of Necromancer and Cavalier basically randomly across the actual genders of the characters. There are male necromancers, female cavaliers, plenty of same-sex pairings and so on.

But the biggest and most important inversion is that when we first meet the nine houses, ten thousand years after a cow-murdering Twitch streamer destroyed the world, nobody actually follows that role assignment to the letter. All the different houses have very different ideas of how Necromancer and Cavalier works in practice.

For example, Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn are just straight-up married. Their work relationship is romantic, and while that's considered a bit weird by their society, it makes it clear that it can go on like this.

We are actually told that there was something going on in the second house, too, where Judith fell in love with Marta, but there she was gently rebuked and they were just friends instead.

Over in the sixth, Camilla and Palamedes have the inversion of boy necromancer and girl cavalier, but most importantly they have their own very QPR style of relationship that is unique to them and does not fit into either our society's traditional idea of romantic relationship, nor their society's traditional idea of what Necromancer and Cavalier should be like.

The seventh house leans into the frail necromancer/strong protector idea the most, except for [spoilers for the final third of Gideon].

The eighth house leans fully into the idea that the relationship is one-sided, that the cavalier is disposable, and jumps straight off the deep end by making the cavalier genetically bred to be nothing more than a power source.

The third house I've left out so far because, dear god, what even is going on there?

And finally, of course, the ninth, who are technically, strictly speaking, if we're following the metaphor to its logical end, doing a "fake married to lovers" plot.

So with that out of the way, let's look at Lyctorhood. Lyctorhood is fundamentally the final test, the final form of the Necromancer/Cavalier relationship as embedded in that society: The Cavalier has completely dissolved in the marriage, making their "spouse" all-powerful, but ending their own existence. That's the standard of the society as presented to the characters when they discover it, and all of them very quickly have their own ideas about it..

Most characters we know from Canaan House don't actually get that far (and to be fair, I think many of them would not have anything that interesting to say about it), but the ones who do are interesting:

Ianthe is physically repulsed by the idea of healthy relationships, so she has no problem eating Babs for power.

Gideon and Harrow are deeply in love, deeply devoted to each other, and deeply dysfunctional in their own ways, and Harrow manages to find a way to continue a dysfunctional horrible situationship with massive communication issues into Lyctorhood.

Cam and Pal find a different thing entirely, still recognisable as a take on Lyctorhood but also not at all. Instead of one absorbing the other, they fuse into a single new person together, but also in some ways dying in the process.

And it turns out even the older lyctors may not have worked quite as originally designed, with Pyrrha Dve still hanging around in Gideon the First and then finding her own way in Nona the Ninth. Throughout Nona it becomes obvious what was hinted at throughout most of Harrow: Lyctorhood is really just one of many ways for two people to become one. It is not the purest and best form of "one flesh, one end", just the best Johnny Boy could think of. Left to their own devices, we see people left and right figure out new ways to be together as one regardless of what society and God thinks of them.

This is really a key question of the book series: What does it mean for two people to become one? Well, it's up to them, and listening to what God has to say about it is probably not the best way to go. It'll make you end up like Ianthe. Do you want to be Ianthe? Actually don't answer that.

[taradactyls]

Something I love about how Pride and Prejudice is told through an omnipresent narrator, aside from the witty remarks and insight into other characters it allows even though it's usually focused on Elizabeth, is how it plays on the audience's own prejudices and assumptions.

The narrator tells us very early on, chapter 4, that Darcy is "haughty, reserved, and fastidious, and his manners, though well-bred, were not inviting." We've already seen that when we meet him the previous chapter, and will see more of it in those following. But it's the readers, along with Elizabeth, who take that observation as not only a list of flaws (despite only the first actually being negative) but presumes even more damaging flaws must be attached to it. Darcy can be off-putting, especially so in the setting we meet him in: he dismissed Elizabeth within earshot of her, didn't engage with people attempting to converse with him, etc. It's easy to assume the worst of him in a world so driven by social niceties, and because we follow Elizabeth, who is so lively and playful amidst the rules which govern society. Elizabeth thinks he's bad tempered? It would make sense - he hasn't shown consideration for others much socially, why would he care when he's angry? He acted from resentment and jealousy and went against his father's will? That's not such a jump after the conclusion of a bad temper, his own acknowledgement of implacable resentment, and evidence of pride. The awareness of one offensive trait so naturally leads to prejudice against it, that we easily assume still worse qualities must exist. We are as mistaken as Elizabeth.

Even the idea that 'No, Darcy was never haughty or rude, he was just shy and misunderstood, the narrator is wrong' is just magnifying that prejudice. Yes, we do find out later that Darcy is not at ease among strangers, and was always intrinsically good; his morals and core values meant he was never as bad as Elizabeth believed. But that doesn't mean he was without flaws, and it's so fascinating that some analysis of his character seek to completely remove the negative traits which he eventually overcame after acknowledging them in himself. The logic seems to be that they feel if he had them in the start that he isn't actually such a good person. It's just another example of being so prejudiced against certain flaws that it's impossible for some people to reconcile that there doesn't have to be more serious failings attached, and someone can still be a good person despite being arrogant and not always nice. It's, ironically, being prejudiced in the exact same way that Elizabeth was at the start of the novel. It's amazing that Jane Austen was able to tap into that aspect of human nature so deftly, and invoke in both in her main character, and readers to this day.

Now, of course, the story is so well known it's rare for anyone to read it blind, so it's less likely anyone will be unaware of Darcy's good qualities despite first seeing his worst. Even if they do, Pride and Prejudice has become so genre defining that new readers who are the slightest bit genre savvy will be more aware than contemporary audiences were. But even if we know the story it's still so understandable why Elizabeth feels the way she does. We see what she sees and feel her conclusions make sense. Just as, even though the narrator tells us Darcy is starting to catch feelings for Elizabeth, we fully comprehend her not noticing and believing there's a mutual dislike. And though that is concrete evidence of Elizabeth not reading Darcy and his motives correctly, we are still so sympathetic of the basis of her prejudice that her continued belief in Darcy's lack of virtues makes sense from her point of view. We can see, as she later will, that she takes it too far, and should have noticed evidence to the contrary, but her prejudice against him based on his early behaviour and her pride at reading people correctly is so understandable.

Basically, in a story about the characters' pride and prejudices, I love, love, LOVE how the narrator's voice brings out those same traits in readers the exact same way we see it presenting in Elizabeth. We're all on that journey with her, and we can likewise learn the same lessons about ourselves as she does. Pride and Prejudice feels timeless, because even though society and thus the nuance changes, the book is about human nature, and that remains essentially the same.

[zorosdimples]

WHEREVER YOU ARE

pairing ༄ zoro x gn!reader

warnings ༄ brief descriptions of violence. a little angsty at first but it’s fluff i pinky promise!

word count ༄ 796

notes ༄ i’ve been feeling so deeply about zoro lately—i cried over him a few nights ago. this is embarrassingly soggy; i poured my heart out for him. tagging my dearest ai @gojoest <3

home.

a soft breeze carries the word, a gentle whisper that ruffles zoro’s hair and curls over the shell of his ear, fading once the message rests uncomfortably on his tongue. the sea shimmers under the moon’s loving gaze, the lulling lap of waves the only sound that reaches the starlit deck. he should be chilly in the crisp salt air, but as he glances down at you—wrapped in his protective embrace, head resting against his bare chest and the steady beat of his heart—he realizes that he has never felt warmer.

home is a word that has never meant much to the swordsman.

from an orphanage to the dojo to the furthest reaches of the east blue, zoro was born a wanderer, cursed to roam land and sea with little more than three swords and a fierce dream. hunting humans and exchanging souls for bounties that could barely cover a warm meal, a glass of sake, and a dirty bed—it was a monastic existence, devoid of comfort and pleasure. but that’s the price you pay when you make a deal with the devil. greatness isn’t bestowed upon the righteous; greatness is something you must fight for with steel claws and blood in your maw. may the most vicious creature win.

home is make-believe for a demon. it’s a tale told to frightened children who don’t yet understand the cruelty of the world.

joining luffy did not cure zoro’s restlessness. it did not make him a better man—it only redirected his cruelty. the piles of flesh and bone he left in his wake loomed over him still; he trudged through a sticky stream of ichor in his nightmares. destruction in the name of something is destruction all the same. he could feel the shackles of solitude slipping, but he was (and still is) set in his ways. it’s difficult to unlearn that which you believe yourself to be. a lifetime of isolation bred a bone-deep loneliness that he couldn’t bleed out of his chest or escape when he cracked open his rib cage and welcomed eternal darkness.

home is a luxury a man—a monster—like him does not deserve.

you draw zoro from his thoughts as you shift in his lap to face him, wrapping your legs around his waist, smoothing your palms across the strong planes of his stomach. your delicate caresses dance upwards, an act of reverence as you trace over the story of his life.

puckered scars, rippling striae, dappled moles, smattered freckles; these etchings on his tanned flesh tell of his victories and mistakes and birthrights. when you reach his broad shoulders, one hand darts up to rake through his mint green strands, fingernails grazing his scalp in a way that has him chasing your touch. your other hand tinkles his earrings, the golden chimes playing their hymn as they reflect the glimmering moonlight.

zoro’s lone eye is enraptured with your movements, and when your sweet gaze meets his, you press a featherlight kiss to his unsuspecting lips. “what was that for?” he asks with a rumbling chuckle. his hands—rough, capable of atrocities—unconsciously rub up and down your sides with worshipful tenderness.

“i love you,” you confess airily with a smile, as though those aren’t the most devastating words the swordsman has ever heard.

if zoro wasn’t a selfish man he would weep at your words. he would tell you to find someone better, he would show you the mortal weight of his sins, and he would keep his distance from a soul as radiant and kind as yours. but decades of want have conditioned him to be greedy.

hearing that phrase—though zoro has heard it from your lips hundreds of times—has a grin rivaling the brightness of the moon split his sharp features. cradling his face, you stroke his dimples with your thumbs. his hands settle on your waist and tug you toward him, your bodies pressed together like hands in a prayer. he crooks his head so your mouths are a mere breath apart.

“i love you, too,” he murmurs before claiming your parted lips with his own.

zoro still has little more than three swords and a fierce dream. but he also has three warm meals a day, more glasses of sake than he could ever want, and a clean bed to crawl into at night. he’s no longer an orphan; with the straw hats there is friendship and laughter and adventure. if asked, he will insist that he’s not a good man, that he’s a demon. but he’s fiercely loyal to his family—he will cut down anyone that stands in their way to freedom.

and then there’s you. with you, zoro has a love he has never felt before. as far as he’s concerned?

wherever you are is home.

[evilminji]

Here I sit, considering Blood Blossoms.

It can be safely assumed, that the species originally developed their Anti-ghost properties to drive HUMANS and other things with, well, SOULS? Away? But as some enterprising human likely did, was selectively bred for purely Anti-ghost properties.

As with most things in nature, we can only assume it was originally to allow for unfettered spread of its seeds. Likely even had an effect on other PLANTS, allowing it more soil in which to grow. A "Blight Blossom" if you will. Or "Life's Bane".

But! That is not what I wonder about.

I wonder about the OTHER end of the evolutionary niche. Like plants with berries, meant to entice birds and other animals into carrying their seeds to new and fertile grounds.

Are there Ghost ATTRACTING plants?

And I don't not mean, drugs, though that certainly WOULD be one means of attracting potentially symbiotic relationships. I mean plants that smell unusually good. TASTE good. Have developed around high ectoplasmic areas.

Do they only exsist in the Realms? Or are such plants possible to find in the living Realm?

If I found them, dug them up carefully, and transferred them to a brand new home, freshly built on untouched land... would it be haunted in short order? Or would the plants die, because the environment could no longer support them?

The most LIKELY contender to exsist? Would be some sort of extoplasmic berry. An EXTREMELY hardy and slow growing vine, that likely grows in places of high extoplasm. Such as old war zones, grave yards, old hospitals, and cities with particularly high death counts. Or Amity. Really, anywhere it can find a LOT of Ectoplasm.

I imagine the berries would literally glow. Like neon battery acid. Reminiscent of blackberry bushs with long creeping vines and hooking thorns. Darker, red black leaves.

DEEPLY lethal if the living ingested. The comparison to battery acid being not made lightly.

The berries, I imagine, would basicly be sugar water and ectoplasm. Sweet ecto. The plant "realizing" that ghosts need ectoplasm. If it HAS ectoplasm, they will come get it. And if the form the ectoplasm is pleasing? They will cultivate the plant to get more.

Because that's what it does. It passively gathers ectoplasm from the air, water, and soil.

Into a nice, neat, EDIBLE little treat.

After all, it's not like there's a hole to the Zone just lying around! Do you know how hard it is to luck out and find a natural portal? How are we to feed ourselves? Sit here and suck air?

Yes, the portal makes the plant effectively redundant. But! Much like pigeons? It doesn't stop EXISTING just because ghosts aren't using it now. Just going unharvested.

Which? Is probably why there are so many new ghost animals. They ARE berries after all. Danny should probably talk to people about that. It's irresponsible to just up an leave lethal fruit where humans might find it.

@hdgnj @nerdpoe @ailithnight @the-witchhunter

[unholyhelbig]

hold on can we have more firecrest?

Title: Firecrest (Part 3/???)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Summary: Kate Bishop and y/n have an unspoken agreement that revolves around being enemies with benefits. But when Kate's new mentor is someone Y/n is very familiar with, things become complicated.

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, Sub/dom dynamics, strap-on, nipple play, nipple clamps, Slight edging (idk I don't write smut often), horrible parenting, talks about neglect, horrible grammar

[A/n: For some reason, this is the only story that I can sit down long enough to write, so let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!]

Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests

Her apartment was located above a pizza shop that operated well into the early morning hours. You’d never seen in truly closed but had only been here twice before. There was the constant acidic scent of tomato sauce that somehow bred comfort.

A man was hunched on the curb, folding a slice of dripping pie at an angle that covered his face in the greasy discharge. He had mumbled something to you around mouthfuls of cheese and dough, nodding vaguely at the cement block that propped open the door to the units.

You thanked him with a nod and slid into the air-conditioned corridor. The coolness seemed to bring clarity with it, but you didn’t stop your legs from sorely dragging you up the steps towards the unit. Why were you here? Kate Bishop was not your girlfriend. Not really.

She was cocky, and clumsy, and the object of your fathers desired attentions. For all intents and purposes, she should be your worst enemy. The bane of your existence, and in some moments, she was. But right now you swallowed your pride and realized that you needed her. Even if she didn’t need you.

You were entirely confident that Kate would turn you away. It was late. You’d spent most of the day shut-in your own apartment; the blinds drawn and mindless movies bathing you in a blue glow. You hadn’t eaten, or showered, or done anything that was considered productive aside from icing your knee with a bag of peas.

When you knocked, you hadn’t expected a muffled bark as an answer. Maybe you had the wrong apartment, or at least, you thought you did until you heard Kate’s tender admonishing. Three deadbolts clicked and clacked until the door was swung open.

Your mouth went dry at the sight of her. Kate’s hand gripped the doorframe, her muscular frame hugged by a tank-top and a pair of purple boxer shorts with little arrows sprinkled across the fabric. You could see her abdominal muscles as she steadied her breath. Her cheeks were tinted a light red.

You’d seen that look before. It was arousal. The sweet smell of sex was emanating from her, a light sheen of sweat catching the overhead lights with each inhale. She panted out “Hi,”

“I’m sorry,” You shook your head, blinking a few times “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, I can just-“

When you attempted to take a step back, her hand darted out and grabbed onto a fistful of fabric, pulling you out of the hallway by your shirt. You dumbly allowed her to manhandle you and stumbled into her space before she closed the heavy oak door.

“No, you’re fine I’m… alone.”

You lifted an eyebrow, and she gave you a nervous smile, unhanding you and wiping her palm on the front of her own shirt. You opened your mouth to rib her (just a little) but caught the sound of nails clicking against linoleum. A smile, a genuine one, spread across your lips.

A blur of fur, golden and soft, failed to hide excitement as a dog clomped towards you. He stopped a little short, sliding on the floor and barreling into your legs. You knelt down and scratched behind the marvelous creatures ears, noting that he was a bit of a misfit like you, pirated and plagued with one eye.

He licked your face generously and you giggled. Actually giggled, because you had forgotten the audience in the room. Suddenly screwing your face back into it’s signature scowl and flicking your eyes back up to Kate. She bit the side of her hand to hide her own grin.

“I thought you said you were alone, Bishop.”

“Oh, this free-loader? Lucky doesn’t pay rent, so he doesn’t count.”

“Lucky,” You breathed, carding your fingers through his fur. He wiggled with excitement, his tail pounding against the floor as he shoved his head under your chin, nudging you to get closer than he already had. “You’re a good boy, I bet. Don’t listen to your mean old landlord.”

When you stood, much to Lucky’s dismay, Kate was staring at you with a starry look in her eyes. You narrowed your own, crossing your arms over your chest. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’ve just never seen you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Soft.”

You scoffed indignantly “I am not soft!”

She hummed dismissively and padded across the room until she reached her kitchen. Kate popped the fridge open and that was enough of a call for Lucky to abandon you (maybe he was a traitor) and wait expectantly for something to drop. Nothing did, and Kate squeezed the tip of an orange juice container before chugging diligently from the carton.

Kate was captivating like this. You’d seen her in many settings, but relaxed like this, was not one of them. Her hair was slightly muffed and she was mostly bare. The cold of the room made it hard for you not to notice the way her chest perked up under the thin fabric of her shirt.

You were in deep, down bad. Not having been sexually satisfied by anything more than your fingers since the little arson incident. So, you cleared your throat and sidled up to the other end of the kitchen island. At least there was that separating the two of you. She set the carton down and leaned forward, pushing her breasts out.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, y/n?”

You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to meet her eyes. She knew exactly what she was doing, and the smirk on her face eluded to that. It was a subtle shift, from being embarrassed about her current state, to milking the arrogance.

“Nothing I just… was restless, I guess. Didn’t want to be alone.”

Her expression softened “Did something happen?”

You shook your head. She didn’t need to know about Clint and his valiant effort to protect the one he really cared for. It would throw her into turmoil, threaten something she had worked so hard for. You may resent your father, but you were a far cry from resenting Kate.

“You’re pent up, then?”

“Excuse me?”

She shrugged her shoulders and took another long gulp of orange juice. You felt your mouth dry as her throat worked at the drink. Even with the carton blocking her expression, you could see that she was smirking. Her eyes gave her away, and she didn’t break contact with you for a single moment before pulling it away, and predictably throwing it into the trashcan with accuracy.

“We could go upstairs,”

Kate closed the distance between the both of you. Your skin felt like it was on fire, arousal shooting straight from your gut the second you could smell the dangerous mix of wintergreen and citrus on her breath. She had a few inches on you, her arm snaking around your mid-section. She pulled you flush against her with a quickness that took your breath.

“That is, if you promise to not to get fire-happy.” Her slender fingers started to play with the silver necklace hanging between your clavicle. “I just repainted after the last one.”

“The last one?”

Kate didn’t’ answer you, instead she pressed her lips against yours, her tongue suddenly exploring your mouth. There was a sour, orange taste to her kiss and you sighed into it, seemingly melting into the archer. Hell- you could ask her about the fire after your mind stopped fogging.

There was a something so alluring about Kate Bishop that made your mind shut-off. You’d do anything and everything she said and that was apparent from the first time the two of you had laid together. She had you on your knees in a matter of minutes, completely stripped nude of your own accord. Her fingers were between your legs and nothing else mattered. You knew that she would take care of you, and you her.  

She pulled back and nudged her nose with yours. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” You whispered, voice tinged with lust.

A yelp escaped you when she hauled you up into her arms. Her hands grasped at your ass, holding you in place as you encircled her hips. You knew Kate was strong, but you were a rock yourself. She seemed to hold you effortlessly, not looking where she was going as she ascended the steps and nipped sloppily at your neck.

Stars swallowed you, heart pounding in your chest. You’d been here before, yes, mostly to drop off something for Eleanors fundraisers, or to return a gym bag that was left behind. They were short interactions that certainly never led to the bedroom.

For all of her haste, Kate set you down gently on her comforter. It smelled overwhelmingly like her. There was something digging into your spine, and you squirmed, propping yourself up on your elbow and producing the silicone vibrator that had been keeping Kate company. Of course, it was purple.

“Seriously?”

“Shut up,” she husked, snatching it from you and throwing it down onto the carpeted floor. “I have better toys than that.”

That did effectively silence you, blush coloring your cheeks. She was smiling down wolfishly at you, so much so, that an attractive growl that bordered human escaped her. You’d never heard a more attractive noise following a statement so bold. Desperately you craned your neck and kissed her, hard.

Her fingers were cold, goosebumps rising against your skin as she moved them under your shirt and scratched down your ribs. You desperately moaned into her mouth and she swallowed the sound effortlessly. Her hand had found your right breast, and you twitched as her thumb brushed over the sensitive bud.

“What,” You snarled into her mouth, each one of her exhales splaying against your cheek. “Kind of toys?”

A look of apprehension seemed to cross her face. The archer was completely on top of you, grinding down against your body in a motion that gave way to the desperation that you felt. Both of her hands were planted on either side of you, holding herself up.

Kate had suddenly switched back to her bashful self, and while the expression was cute, you were thoroughly worked up. You tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and spoke softly. “Hey, you aren’t going to break me, okay? If I’m uncomfortable with something, I’ll tell you.”

“I know it’s just,” she paused, frowned in almost a pout before a look of finality crossed her face. “what if I want to break you?”

While you were rendered silent, you felt a pang of arousal swim to your gut. A noise had pushed past your lips. Something that was so desperate, you weren’t sure it even came from you. Here was this girl, this person that you’d wanted to beat your entire life, and she had you pinned beneath her.

“Kate, I think I’ll physically die if you don’t take what you want, and fuck me until I’m dumb.” You arched yourself from the bed, stopping just short of pressing your lips to hers. You murmured against her. “Use me.”

That vicious spark returned to her eyes and she was suddenly scrambling off of you. For a moment, you were worried that you’d scared her off, but she nearly tripped over her discarded combat boots trying to get to her walk in closet. You could hear things clanging, falling over, and being sent across the room.

“Just, hold on! Don’t go anywhere!” softer, mumbled with a poisonous determination “I know it’s here somewhere.”

When she remerged, she was out of breath and leaning suavely against the door. The bulge that pressed against the opening of her boxers, you had seen before, many times. Kate had never used a strap on you before. Most of your intimate interactions were isolated to storage closets, or locker room showers. Her’s, of course, was bigger than you expected, and the same royal purple as the rest of her personality.

She held something in her right hand, something you had, of course, seen while your Bluetooth headphones were on and saving you the embarrassment of playing porn out loud. A silver chain that ended in crocodile clamps on each side. Black rubber tipped each clip for comfort. A bigger silver ring sat comfortably in the middle, the perfect size to wrap two fingers around and tug.

“Huh,” you let the corner of your lip quirk up affectionately.

“Oh god, you hate it.”

“No, no. I didn’t say that. Just surprised is all.” You sat up entirely, feeling your pulse point at your core. You were still much too clothed for your liking. They started to itch against your skin. You were going to lose it if she didn’t’ rip them off soon. “Impressed, actually.”

She lifted an eyebrow at you and once against closed the distance. She towered over you completely, standing between your legs in the same exact way she had at the gym. You couldn’t stop your mind from wandering dangerously to how she’d feel inside of you, stretching you.

“We should have a safe word,” She purred, brushing her hand against your cheek. “You need to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Okay, what do you suggest?”

She smiled “Flame-on”

You groaned and buried your nose in the warmth of her neck. You could feel the vibration of her glorious laugh and the quiet it brought you was unmatched. You knew you were fucked, but it was easier to ignore the looming thoughts of something more in exchange for this.

“Fine, fine. Not a fan of Johnny Storm, then?” You pulled back and leveled her with a glare. You’d never met the man and frankly despised the notation that everyone with pyrotechnic powers knew one another “How about red?”

Contemplating didn’t take long. It was a simple color that reminded you of stop. You didn’t want to tell Kate that most of your forays into the depths of the internet involved the very items that she held in her hands. This seemed to be new for both of you. Red was good. Red was comfortable.

“I’m all yours,” You wrapped your arms around her waist, her stomach level with your eyes. You peered up at her, knowing that they glowed with your own arousal. “Do what you want with me.”

“Take off your shirt.” She snarled, suddenly switching back to that dominant woman who had carried you up here. Now that the rules were set, you were confident that she wouldn’t be edging into her demure nature anytime soon. “I want to see what’s mine.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. Kate had seen you naked before, but each time, she got a misty look in her eyes that spurred you on. She seemed to admire the expanses of skin that she could nip at, and soothe with her tongue. The burn scars that never quite healed. All of you, she found beautiful.

Her stare moved down to your front-latching bra, head tilting to the side. “Wow. Were you expecting something to happen tonight, slut?”

The word sent shivers down your spine, especially when they came from her mouth. Kate straddled you then, her weight familiar. You moved to encircle her, hug her close, but her hand splayed against your chest and held you there. “No touching. I’m in control tonight.”

You nodded, too desperately for your liking. Her fingers dragged down to the latch and unhooked it. The familiar pressure was instantly relieved and Kate’s eyes hungrily devoured your breasts. You knew she had a thing for them- always had- which is why the shock wasn’t so visceral when it came to the clamps.

Kate’s strap was aligned with your stomach, but, she didn’t seem to notice how intimidating her length was. Her mouth dropped to your breasts and a content sigh escaped you. Your hands itched to run against her, but that would just delay the pleasure that she offered.

Her tongue expertly circled one nipple, while she teased the other between her forefinger and thumb. You arched towards her and gasped as her teeth scraped against the sensitive area. In a matter of seconds, she had you writhing under her, a complete mess.

“God, you’re desperate.” She hummed against you. “I’ve barely touched you, baby.”

You were well aware of that. An embarrassed flush crept across your neck. Normally, you wouldn’t let Kate have the satisfaction. But right now, you would let Kate have anything she wanted. The chain made a soft noise. You shuddered as it’s chilled surface was dragged between the center of your breasts.

You took a deep breath, Kate’s stare dominant, but questioning all the same. You were both well-aware that this was on the tamer side of things. But you’d never let someone have full control before, including her. She was taking this slow, and it was something you appreciated. Something you needed right now.

When the first clamp was placed, you couldn’t help the shudder that rocked through you. It was an odd, pinching sensation that was soon replaced with a bolt of pleasure. Kate’s thumb brushed lightly against your other nipple, not letting up on it’s torment. She clamped the second one on and this time, a heated groan left you.

“Fuck,” She gripped your sides, moving back to get a good look “You look so beautiful like this.”

Her hands moved down to your hips and in a swift, possessive, movement she had you flipped onto your back. She unbuttoned your pants and started to slide them down your legs. You were impossibly wet, having soaked through your underwear. If you prayed that Kate wouldn’t notice, your hopes were dashed by her cocksure smile.

“Katie,” You whined, the cold air hitting your legs just seconds after she had discarded your jeans. Your fingers brushed against her side, instantly conjuring goosebumps. “Please,”

She hissed through clenched teeth, grabbing both of your hands and pinning them above your head with one, strong grip. When she pressed the lower half of her body down on top of you, you felt the pressure of the much-too-intimidating strap.

“I said no touching, remember?” She lilted her head, took the slack of the chain and twirled it around her finger “I would hate to have to punish you, pet.”

You wouldn’t. There were a few seconds where you contemplated testing your luck, being a brat, just to see if you could get a rise out of her. But she pulled the thin strip of fabric covering your core to the side, dipping her finger into your heat.

“Oh, fuck.” You arched your back off the bed. “Kate, I’m… I need you inside of me.”

You reveled in the way a chill ran through her, her grip on your hands slackening just a moment before it tightened. “Just checking to see how ready you are.”

Beyond. You nearly folded when you felt her guide the cool tip of the strap against your entrance. It’s head pushed the smallest bit into you. Truthfully, you had never taken something this big. But you were nothing, if not determined.

Kate pushed her full length into you in a soft motion, all the while tugging at the center of the chain. The combination of sensations brought a stream of expletives that you hadn’t used in years. Both of you seemed to forget about Kate’s rule about not touching.

She pumped in and out of you, keeping a steady pressure on the chain. Your moans seemed to synch, her overwhelming warmth increasing the building peaks of your core. You hugged her as close as you could, hands splayed against her back.

“Shit, you’re so tight, baby.” She growled into your ear, “You take me so well. Such a good girl, taking everything I give you.”

She shifted, hitting your g-spot with ferocity. Each thrust pushing a satisfied moan from your lips. Between each one, you exhaled “I’m going to come, shit, Katie.”

“Not yet. Not until I give you permission.”

She was getting close, you could feel the subtle tightening of her stomach. Kate had a tendency to bury her face in the small of your neck when the tension built like this. Two more even pushes and her nose was against your throat, feeling the pulse point that quickened with each passing moment.

“Come for me, you desperate, little slut.”

Again, she pulled on the chains, distinct pleasure rushing through you. You tightened around her, the moans becoming more desperate. Kate came with you, breathing heavy, mewling against your throat. You could feel her heart against your chest, could feel the fire brewing just below your fingertips. You were true to your word, however, and kept your promise. No arson.

A whimper escaped you when Kate unclipped the clamps, still inside you. Feeling returned to your nipples with a blast of pleasurable pain followed by a wave of warmth. She smirked at you, face red and hair messed up. She sat perfectly on your hips, you still twitched around her.

“Jesus, y/n.” Kate panted, leaning down and kissing you sweetly. You eagerly returned it, still able to taste the citrus on her tongue. “Who knew you were a little freak?”

Her hand pressed down on your stomach with the slightest pressure as she pulled out of you with a wet noise. She landed next to you, trying to catch her breath. You found yourself laughing, fully sated, fully pleasured.

“That? It was nothing.” She gave you a mock frown, and you backtracked “Expertly done, and very, very hot. But it’ll take more than that to break me.”

“Who said I was done?” Kate smiled lazily at you, “I’m just going to… rest my eyes for a second. Get ready for the second pounding of your life.”

You watched as her eyes slowly closed, a look of pure bliss on her face. It was a thing of beauty, one that you could get used to. She could sleep anywhere, falling into unconsciousness with a graceful ease that you lacked.

She’d hug her gym bag close as a pillow under the florescent lights of the convention centers you frequented in childhood. She’d curl up under a tree when you both attended university together, often getting patterns burned into her skin, easy to make fun of.

It was always endearing, but it settled you with an admired warmth right now. You easily shifted her until she was laying comfortably, pulling her duvet up to her chin. Kate made a small noise at the back of her throat and curled into a deeper slumber.

God. You were so fucked.

The sun flitted the industrial windows in Kate’s apartment that you hadn’t noticed before. They were dusty with time, but still allowed a considerable amount of light. The whir of a fan in the corner lulled you into a peaceful afterglow.

Sleep didn’t come easily for you. Sometimes, you would drift into a half-state of lucidness on the sofa, the movie you put on as some form of noise droned on and you’d always startle awake with a kink in your neck and a strange tiredness clinging to you.

Your therapist had suggested practicing healthy sleeping habits. Only use the bed for sleep, don’t read there, don’t doom-scroll on your phone. You were meant to utilize the exhaustion in your bones to your benefit. And for the first few nights, it had worked.

But, then the nightmares that often accompanied the rem cycle started to push to the forefront of your mind. The same terror on your mothers face as a cobalt blue clouded your vision. It was suffocating, and the sharp burning in your chest would bring you back to the inky black, too-cold, room.

A sleepy groan escaped you, pressing your face closer into the warmth that you embraced. Kate lacked her signature scent, and she seemed… furrier than usual. You didn’t want to pry your eyes open yet. You didn’t want the lazy morning to end with the harsh reality of feelings you were less than enthusiastic to explore.

It took you three more seconds of pressing your nose into something that smelled suspiciously like dog, to realize that’s exactly what it was.

Lucky was fast asleep, pressed flush against you over the duvet that you had shimmied under at some point in the night. He was a buffer between you and the empty half of the bed. You figured Kate was an early riser, or something had stirred her. She spooked easily. You hoped desperately that it wasn’t you who had scared her.

She was rifling around in the closet. Your hand splayed against golden fur, you absently ran you fingers through it. He was a lazy dog, and it was something you appreciated. Both of you watched with unimpressed eyes as she emerged, not expecting you to be awake.

Kate smiled at you, and then seemed to realize that it was effortless, because it took a few moments for her to school her features into something stoic. She was still wearing her boxer shorts and tank-top from last night. You fought back a frown. Kate had gotten you naked without even trying. Your own clothes were scattered across the room.

“Promise you won’t freak out?”

You propped yourself up on your elbow. Lucky huffed in annoyance. “I can’t promise that”

She gave you a nervous look and tossed a sweatshirt towards you. The fabric was soft, and it was her signature purple color, and what she was rifling around the closet for. You felt your cheeks heat up, holding the cool garment flush against you.

“Clint is on his way,”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah, oh my god.”

Pretending to be anything more than friends with benefits sounded good on paper. It made Clint irate and that was good for some cheap thrills. But the two of you hadn’t practiced any form of affection outside of the bedroom. You had a cold exterior, and a single look could send Kate into a rambling mess, as if she’d been injected with truth serum.

“I can sneak out the window?” You pulled the sweater over your head, reaching blindly for your jeans. The button had fallen off, and you couldn’t locate your underwear. Kate watched you with a quiet amusement until you stood across from her. “Second floor isn’t too bad. The daylight kills my cover a bit, but-“

“You should stay.” Her voice came out a little too loud. She took a deep breath, “I want you to stay.”

A pang of affection ran through you, reflexively you dropped your hold on your jeans. They fell around your ankles in a pool of denim. It earned a snicker from Kate, but you didn’t’ mind. The sound was heavenly and made your head feel unbelievably fuzzy, despite the embarrassment.

She wordlessly thrust a pair of sweatpants into your hands. It was soft, and you would swim in it. This would be easy, a simple way to pull at Clint’s nerves. Cruel, maybe, but each time you imagined that pitying look on his face as he pleaded with you to leave Kate alone, that rush of anger came back.

When Kate turned, you pressed you palm to your lips to keep from yelping out a laugh. Kate’s tank-top was still it’s stark white, just with two scorched marks in the shape of your hands. You had kept your promise, not catching anything on fire, but you came pretty damn close.

You wanted to tell her, really, you did. But the sound of the front door opening and closing caught your attention. Lucky let out a terse bark and cut through the both of you to fling himself down the stairs. Clint, you had heard from your mother, had a way with all animals. Not just birds.

“Katie Kate! I grabbed some bagels from the bodega on the corner. I know you only have one knife but I grabbed extras.”

She gave you a sheepish smile, leaning forward and kissing the corner of your lip. You froze, Kate’s hands squeezing your arms. The archer didn’t pause in her movements, as if they were second nature. She started to head down the stairs, leaving you in a bewildered state.

You let out a shuddered breath, clenching your eyes shut to steady yourself. Not even the dog was left in the room. A simple display of affection that seemed to just be for the two of you. This warmed you like no one-night-stand and horrible instant coffee could.

Clint noticed you instantly, using a plastic knife to separate two halves of a doughy bagel. His movements stilled; taking in your disheveled hair and the oversized clothing that you dawned. It was more than clear that you’d spent the night and his mouth opened with an audible pop.

Kate was pouting quietly at the empty carton of orange juice that she had drained last night. Lucky padded over to you, pushing his cool nose into your palm, tail thumping. Clint watched the interaction, one half of the bagel hitting the kitchen island with a plop.

“Good morning, baby. Sorry if we woke you.” Her scent was suddenly invading your space, another kiss, this time, more than chaste, landed on your lips. Clint paled, swallowing hard. His eyes flicked to the scorch marks on Kate’s shirt.

“Mm, not at all. Good morning, Clint.”

“Morning, y/n.”

Kate wrapped her arms around you effortlessly and hugged you against her front. Her chin rested on your shoulder, cheek pressed to your own. You were convinced that she could feel how rapid your heart was beating.

She had fit into the role of girlfriend perfectly. You, on the other hand, bit your tongue to keep from malfunctioning. Last night was so effortless. Your lust drove you, and your skin prickled at the memory of Kate’s tongue between your breasts. You shivered now, and she smirked into your neck.

“What are you guys up to today?”

You asked the question out of politeness, but your voice wavered all the same. Kate gave you an encouraging squeeze. Clint darted his eyes back and forth. An air of panic seemed to seize him and he made quick work of putting cream cheese on an untoasted bagel.

“Nothing.” Clint is quick to dismiss you. There was almost a hint of jealousy there, something that Kate picked up on too. The twitching of her fingers against the smoothness of your skin was enough to alert you to the fact.

You drew out your next word “Okay, I suppose I should get going, then.”

Playing the part, Kate let out a dissatisfied groan in response. You turned in her arms and gave her a look that was met with concern. Real concern. She pressed her forehead against your own and whispered ever-so-gently. Are you okay?

And you nodded, because you were. At least of the time being. The disgruntled actions of your biological father was enough. Having Kate hold you, even if it was all for show, was enough.

The key turned in the lock with an audible click. You made a point, when entering your mother’s shared space with Lance, to make as much noise as possible for both your benefit. The buttery scent of pancakes overwhelmed your senses and filled you with warmth.

It was Sunday, all of the windows open and an incredible dosage of sunlight filling the home. You’d grown up here between your travels and training. Bobbi had kept your room the same, hadn’t dared touched the pictures that lined the stairway. Professionally done and the portrait of a perfect family.

Your mother sipped a glass of orange juice at the table. Lance was humming a disjointed tune as he flipped a blueberry pancake, perfectly cooked and golden brown. He was wearing his glasses and a pair of plaid pajama pants. A far cry from the suits you were used to seeing him in, lately.

Bobbi’s pale green eyes flicked up from the paper she was reading, then back down before darting towards you again. Her fingers tightened around the glass. “Good morning, darling. Purple suits you.”

Lance turned with a furrowed expression. You’d worn the color before, it wasn’t as if there was an aversion to it. You’d successfully macgyvered your jeans before leaving Kate’s this morning, but you were still swimming in her sweatshirt. You found the minty scent comforting.

“A bit big, isn’t it?”

Bobbi was smirking behind her glass. You fought the urge to roll your eyes as you flopped down into the chair next to her. You leveled her with a glare that held no malice. She knew exactly what it was like to fall for a Hawkeye. They were charming, persistent, and overall, annoying.

The latter was starting to ebb away in the furthest reaches of your mind. There had always been jokes made by the elite families of New York, the ones who ran in the same circles that Eleanor and Lance did. Tabloids that voyeuristically took interest in the Bishop and Morse heirs.

Eventually, everyone proclaimed through silent looks and not-so-silent gossiping, you and Kate would end up together. The fire had squashed those rumors, and then reignited them glory. The attention made it hard to do your real job. But your chest oddly swelled with pride when Bobbi lifted an eyebrow at you.

“Is there something you want to tell us?”

Lance had flicked off the stoves burner and set a steaming pile of pancakes in the center of the table. None of you dug in. Your parents watched you, instead, almost giddy. They’d both had their fair share of run-in’s with Kate Bishop.

During your senior year, you would storm into the house and pace back and forth, seething about an award that Kate won or a competition that ended in a tie. They’d bide their time and wait. They waited for years and part of you dreaded giving them the satisfaction. You straightened in your chair, ran a finger over your fork.

“Not that I can think of,” You smirked.

“Okay,” Lance nodded “be that way.”

You huffed and reached for the plate, but he pulled it back slightly. A scrape sounding as porcelain hit wood “No Pancakes for you.”

They were enjoying this too much. You crossed your arms over your chest and stared at them with shock. Blueberry pancakes were your favorite, and you had a less than satisfactory morning. This felt like the SHIELD torture techniques they’d taught you years ago.

“Fine. Kate and I are seeing each other. Happy?”

You reached for the pancakes again, and again, Lance slid them back. “For how long?”

“Awhile”

“That’s not enough.” Bobbi cut into a pancake she had transferred onto her own plate, soaked in syrup and dripping. She took a bite and moaned in bliss. “Wow, babe, these are your best yet.”

“Before the fire at the benefit.” You supplied, hating the desperation that was in your voice. The way your stomach squeezed in hunger fueled your need. “She’s been my girlfriend for months.”

The words sent a thrill down your spine. They were entirely untrue, but your mother and Lance didn’t question it. In fact, he pulled out his time-worn wallet and produced a twenty-dollar bill. Bobbi took it wordlessly with a shit-eating grin on her face. She pushed the plate back in your direction.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“You were betting on us?”

“It’s more of a pool, really.” Lance defended, having the decency to blush.

“Unbelievable!”

Really, it wasn’t. Not with the rumors that swirled around the two of you since sandbox days. Your hunger overtook your indignance and you pulled two fluffy pancakes onto your plate. Angrily (as angrily as you could) you cut them into little pieces and chewed slowly with a frown.

Bobbi returned to reading the paper and Lance raised his hand for a high five. You scowled at him, shaking your head. Sheepishly he lowered it and returned to his own breakfast.

You’d scarfed down food faster than necessary before pouring yourself a cup of coffee and retiring to the wooden swing on the front porch. You breathed in the early morning air, the cool mist that coated the lawn. It was a quick moment of peace to settle your thoughts.

Your toes pushed against the porch, settling into an easy sway. You were left to your own devices, letting the rising sun warm your bones. Eventually, Bobbi joined you with her own cup of coffee, cupping the mug and lowering herself onto the other end of the bench with a slight groan. The chains screeched in protest.

Her hand found it’s way to your knee, giving it a slight squeeze. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk.”

You knew exactly what she meant. It wasn’t about Kate, though, you could sense the buzz of questions at the tip of her tongue. The two of you hadn’t addressed the Clint shaped elephant in the room, and you bit into the soft flesh of your cheek to calm the storm that washed over you in an instant.

“Are you okay?” She whispered

“I don’t know.”

The silence returned, and you wanted so desperately to break it. But you didn’t know what to say. Your throat tightened and you swallowed a gulp of scalding coffee. The heat pinched at your eyes and they watered listlessly.

“I hate that he matters. Clint Barton is a stranger to me, but he still holds this… this power.” You drew one leg up to your chest. “I wasn’t enough for him to stay.”

“Oh, baby”

Her gravelly words of comfort made you fold into the overwhelming emotions. Bobbi’s arm was around you and your face buried into her neck. You knew your nose was cold against her skin, but she said nothing. She gripped your side and pulled you close to her. You suddenly felt like a child again.

“That’s not true,” She pulled back, cupping both of your cheeks with her hands. She frantically wiped away your tears with her thumbs “We were both kids when we had you. I grew up, and he didn’t. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t want you to doubt yourself. Your potential.”

“He…” You swallowed thickly, the words bitter in your mouth “he loves her more than me.”

It was an accusation that had tremendous merit. There was no malice towards Kate, not this time. She’d fallen into his good graces by pure luck. She’d told you the story as over two amber bottles of IPA that went down less than smooth.

“I mean, fuck, mom. He gave me the shovel talk.”

She frowned and pulled back, a certain anger falling over her facial expression. Your biological father warning you to stay away from his protégé was in bad taste. It left an ugly film over your skin. A seed of doubt that was planted by the man who abandoned you.

“You’ve never made me doubt myself. Every day of my life you’ve reminded me of my value, of what I’m capable of. I don’t want him to come over and blow that all down like the big bad wolf.”

“Sweet girl,” She pulled you back into her side, her floral scent coating your lungs. You hadn’t realized how cold you were until you cuddled into your mother as if you were nothing more than a scared child. Your fingers grasped at the fabric of her shirt like a life raft. “We’re stronger than that.”

Tag List💕: @noturlondonboy, @slvtformaria

[bonkbobl]

happy to please

ROOSE BOLTON X READER

a/n: this is set before anything bad happens in the show, maybe like early season 1 or even before. i know in the books there was domeric and i considered mentioning ramsays kinslaying but decided to just go with the show, which, my impression is that domeric just never existed and ramsay grew up at the dreadfort being cared for by roose. this fic comes from the book quote about him growing fond of walda bc she actually liked sex with him and buddy never experienced the loving touch of a woman with his past two wives

summary: roose bolton had two wives before you. so he thought he knew what to expect during the bedding but nothing could have prepared him for those sweet little noises and the way you writhed

warning: smut!!! roose bolton is very awkward and not very romantic, forced marriage but once you see roose irl you're like oh... wait guys hes kind of hot nvm im down

It was high time the Lord of the Dreadfort took another wife to try for more heirs. A bastard born to a Millers Wife was hardly a suitable option. The goal-driven Lord Bolton wanted a speedy affair and not too much fuss about it. When word was sent out that the “Dreadlord” was seeking a hand in marriage, the response was not sparse.

Several offers to meet Northern Lords’ “most beautiful” daughters landed on Roose Boltons desk. But Roose didnt want the fuss that came with that. There was no need to fret about which girl was the most desireable, only which prospect bred the most advantage.

You came from a semi prominent house, a large advantage was the fact that you had no siblings to succeed you and your uncles were all bordering on geriatric. Because of this, your father was eager to broker a marriage between you and any Lord to start producing more options for the succession of your house — you came with a heavy dowry.

All negotiations occurred on paper and before you’d learn anything about your husband, your father has your servants packing your belongings up into carriages. You were on your way to the Dreadfort

Dreadful name for a castle, you thought to yourself. Perhaps that set the tone for the marriage. You should expect nothing but that —dread.

The entire journey, you did not utter a word to your father, so upset that he’d gone behind your back to do this. You had been stubborn, growing up. You’d met several Lords from minor houses through the years and you turned all of them away.

They weren't handsome enough, weren't noble enough, weren't gentle enough, weren't firm enough. That one was too loud, too annoying, to full of himself, not sure enough of himself, too meek, too weak. There was always something. But you were never forced to. Not until now.

Perhaps it was the fact that your father finally listened to the whispers of those around him, telling him that if he doesnt marry you off soon, no lord would want an old bride. You think thats most likely. Theres also the fact that House Bolton was an extremely powerful house, your liege lord for centuries. They stood only beneath the Starks and the Crown.

When you stepped down from the carriage to greet your husband to be, you steeled yourself. You didn't know what to expect. You knew he was around your father’s age, which wasn't exactly a comfort.

But you met his cold eyes, your expression softened considerably. Your father had grown plump with unkempt hair on his chin. It was patchy and uneasy to look upon. His hair was also receding quickly as the years passed.

The years were kinder to Lord Bolton.

Giving a curtsy, you surrendered to his examination of you, suddenly feeling nervous. You found yourself hoping he liked what he saw because well… Lord Bolton, you think, immediately appears to be, well, lordly. He looks physically fit, cleanshaven, intimidating features. His stare was hard on you, and you almost shied away thinking he was, in fact, unhappy with you, but glancing back, you realized that he may be one of those men with a permanent hardness to their stare.

You mainly hope he isn’t cruel to you.

Lord Bolton nodded, then spoke, “My lady.” Taking your hand and pressing a courteous kiss to it, he continued, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You swallowed, trying your best to keep your gaze even. His voice was so smooth and deep… The kind of voice that you’d want reading to you in the darkness at night.

He’s everything you think a man should be, in appearances. The boys who wanted your hand in marriage would stumble about their words and it was endearing in their own right, but here, under his lordly gaze, you felt more willing to you resign yourself under his protection.

“Happy to please you, my lord,” You said softly, curtsying.

Roose’s eyes looked you up and down for what felt like the millionth time but he couldn’t really help it. He hadn't expected you to be the beauty you were — that wasn’t why he was marrying you — but he got lucky, it seems. You were a shy thing, barely able to meet his eyes.

Roose looked at your father, standing far away from you, awkwardly staring out into the wind and avoiding engagement. It wasn't difficult for him to make out that perhaps you might be unhappy to be here. If theres anything he can recognize, its a tense familial atmosphere.

But he watched you smile and speak your courtesies, sweet and polite. Yes, you would do just fine. You were perfect, he’d even dare to say, he was delighted by you.

You would make him rich, and it seemed like you had enough understanding and commitment to duty to not make a fuss about anything that may be unpleasant to you. He just hopes you’re fertile so that he doesn’t have to pain you unnecessarily with too many attempts.

“I’d like you to meet my son, Ramsay,” He brought his son forward.

You smiled politely at him and allowed him to kiss your hand, “My lord, it’s lovely to meet you.” You hoped it didn’t show that you were a little wary of Ramsay. It was hard to ignore the rumors of the Bastard at the Dreadfort. But you’re happy that you are not to be his or his fathers enemy.

“As it is for me to make your acquaintance, my lady.”

Roose allowed a smile and began directing you to your handmaidens, who would lead you to your temporary room.

As far as first meetings go, it might have been awkward but it wasn’t completely unbearable. You’re grateful for it.

—————

When it came time to wed him, Roose made it clear that there was to be no bedding ceremony, and you let yourself relax, smiling to yourself gratefully. It was a tradition spreading all the way from the Wall to Dorne, but you really didnt know why. The thought of being stripped and groped by all the men in the room rained dread upon you.

Instead of being carried to your room by many men, you were led there by your husband, who you were growing more fond of in each moment. Sure you barely knew him, but he was handsome enough.

Not just handsome enough, you’d say that if there was to be a ball with all the Northern men and women, you would have stared at him in the corner of your eye all night hoping he’d approach you. He reminded you of those scenarios that you’d read about only in books.

He also seemed to be respectable and a gentleman, which comforts you greatly. The fact that he chose to forego the bedding was something you hadn’t expected but it certainly made you more amenable to whats to come.

It started sort of mechanically and passive. Your husband poured you a cup of wine for your nerves, and you exchanged some words about the ceremony and he watched you drink it.

Then when he deemed you relaxed enough Roose asked, “Did your septa teach you about what happens during bedding?”

You nodded, “My septa, yes. And I had read a book once that contained some details that she had left out, so I actually know more than many would assume,” You rambled out.

Roose tilted his head questioningly but gave an amused sigh and a nod.

It was true, you did read a lot. And one of those books included a scandalous romp between the main character, a man, and a whore. Your father found you reading that and burned the book but he couldn’t burn it out of your memory.

It was part of why you might have had such a high standard for the men who had approached for your hand. The men in the books were confident but not arrogant. They could please their women properly because they knew what they were doing but also knew to listen. They were powerful. Possessing a subtle dominance that was too nuanced for younger men to understand.

Roose exuded dominance. This brand of dominance.

It excited you just as much as the memory of those pages.

“Good,” He said, “Then I have little explaining that I must do.”

You watched him stand and offer his hand to you again and you took it, letting him help you up and to the bed.

Roose couldn’t really understand it, but he identified nerves stirring inside him at the thought of bedding you. Its been a long time since he’s taken any wife to bed and he is aware that most of the time, its only really pleasurable for men.

His past two wives would lay there, passive and unmoving, waiting for him to have his fill before quickly getting up to clean themselves.

He really intended to make this as easy for you as possible and wait a week to try again. After that, perhaps he’d take you every few days until you came to be with child. Ever methodical about everything, of course he thought of how to go about this.

Roose helped you with your dress, coming up behind to aid in unlacing it. Meanwhile, you busied yourself with taking out the pins that had been keeping your hair up.

You wanted to be comfortable, Roose was pleased to note. He was glad to know you were thinking of your comfort. Making this as easy as possible. You were a girl who understood what needed to be done, a good quality to have in a wife.

His past wives understood to an extent, as well, but not without at least a little bit of whining and whinging.

With your hair undone and your dress unlaced, you took it upon yourself to shrug it off your shoulders, letting the fabric fall to the floor. Roose watched you, gracefully doing your duty, a small smile coming to him.

You surprised him quite a bit, actually. Especially when you turned to him, a little shy about your exposure, but confident enough to pull him in by his collar and kiss him for the first time.

Your lips moved shyly against his, and Roose returned your gentleness. Each thing you did made him ever more curious about you. The two of you continued to mold your lips to each others as he worked on disrobing himself. He could sense the hesitation and curiosity behind your lips movements.

All the better. He'll let you do as you needed to feel more comfortable.

Very quickly, Roose had taken off all his clothes and the moment you realized your husband was bare and ready to finally take you, you parted from him. His eyes opened slowly to see you staring up at him with those big eyes and he held your gaze as you edged backward onto the bed, situating yourself at the edge of it. Then you laid yourself down, splayed out for him.

Roose watched you get ready for him, wondering what he did to score so lucky with such a sweet, innocent, eager little wife.

He pressed the tip of his length to your slit. The edges of your pussy lips were dry but as he moved the head of his cock through your folds, some moisture coated him. Roose paused because you mewled and turned your face to the side, eyes closed, hands bunching into fists in your sheets.

His cock twitched against you as he watched, something that hasnt happened since Roose was a teenager with his first wife.

It moved him to push inside. He watched your lips part with heavy breaths, eyebrows coming together as your breaths turned into soft whimpers. He had to pull out after a certain point and push back in, further. You whimpered, grasping the sheets harder.

Roose found himself completely and utterly hypnotized by you, watching your face, turned to the side, eyes pinched shut, gently chewing your bottom lip.

“You’re very reactive,” He muttered, catching your attention.

You turned back to look at him over your rising and falling chest and giggled, running your hand over your forehead, “Yeah, I… Nothing has ever been inside like this so... I’m reacting.” A coil in your stomach twisted as he pushed even deeper and your lips puckered, letting out an "Ooh..."

Roose chuckled at the first sign of a little bit of sass in his wife, amused at your playfulness during what most would deem to be a serious moment. Roose typically disliked those who cracked unnecessary jokes in inappropriate moments, but somehow it seemed appropriate in this moment.

Your hand came down to grab his and you guided it to your thigh. You felt your husband bottom out inside you after not too much struggle or pain and you laid there happily. You were happy to take his gentle thrusts. Your cunt grew wetter and sloppier as he fucked you.

He filled you well, and it felt good to be full like this. You wanted him to touch you… You wanted him to move more. Faster, harder. You just wanted more of him.

You breathed a heavy sigh, squeezing around him, trying to coax him into moving in you.

“Roose,” You whined, squirming beneath him. Your legs came to wrap around him and guide his movements in you.

Your husband gasped at your shameless neediness, responding quickly to your coaxing movements. You felt like heaven, squeezing so tight around him. But it wasn’t just the pure sensation of a cunt enveloping him it was the fact that your heel remained pressed against his lower back, pulling him toward you. It was the fact that little whimpers kept tumbling out of you, meanwhile you hid your face as if you couldn’t keep them in. It was his name, falling from your lips, in between the whimpers.

And then you whimpered, “Harder.”

An appreciative hum rumbled in Roose's chest, his eyes focusing even harder on you. You shuddered to look at him. His smolder could easily be mistaken for a glare and you'd hate to be a man in any other situation, on the receiving end of such a look.

Here, it just made you more excited.

You cried a loud, unrestrained moan when he gave a sharp thrust, his cock angled upward and hitting a deep spot within you. When his cock touched that spot, it felt as if a little burst of pleasure had come from it and melted into the rest of your body, the coil in your tummy tightening deliciously.

His pace slowly increased, as did your pleasure. You writhed beneath him... At times it almost felt like pleasure was too much, like you were about to tip off some edge, and you had no idea what could be found once you made it over that edge other than just even more, blinding pleasure. You didn't even know if you could take it.

But you had nowhere to run. So if you had to find out what was waiting for you over that edge, so be it. You fought to hold your legs open as much as possible but your thighs would sometimes beg to close, unused to the intense stimulation. And most of the time, you kept your eyes closed and your face turned to the side.

Roose stared down at you, burying himself in you over. And over. Watching as each time you had to succumb and give yourself away to the sensations. It sparked something primal inside him, and truly for the first time he felt an animal-like instinct that often came to be the failing of many great, even-minded men.

He felt lust. Inspired by the image of your body tightening and twitching as he plunged himself deep into you.

Grabbing your waist, he fucked you faster, snapping his hips at a faster speed while he used his strength to pull your pliant body into his.

It wracked your body from head to toe, a long, loud whine, pulled from your throat, enunciated by each meeting of his balls against your ass. Your hands shot up to grasp to anything you could find on the bed but all it found were more sheets. You buried your face in the soft flesh of your arms.

Roose slowed and gave you some hard, defined thrusts, grunting as he did so. You cried out each time and then managed to blink your eyes open and look at him, eyebrows still knitted together, hair a tangled mess under you, and your lips red and wet from your chewing on them all the time.

And then your husband rediscovered the energy to plow into you again.

You held your tits this time, to keep them from bouncing uncomfortably.

He growled, adjusting so that your legs were put over his shoulder before continuing. That felt amazing. But even more amazing was that he decided it wasn't enough, climbing on the bed and pushing you further up on it. He maneuvered his leg, planting a foot next to your side.

That. That had you crying out, damn near sobbing. At least, you wouldn't be surprised if anyone passed your room and mistook it for that.

Soon your body was twitching uncontrollably under him and Roose was sighing loudly, shocked by just how tight your cunt was gripping onto him. Your moans grew weaker and breathier and your body tensed to a peak before you seemingly began to come down from it.

Your breaths remained heavy as you attempted to catch yourself, small aftershocks of convulsions and shaking taking you. He was still fucking you just as hard and your body was oversensitive to the stimulation.

But thankfully you didn't have to endure the pleasurable torture too much longer. Roose released you with a few hard thrusts and deep groans.

He stilled in you and dropped his head in exhaustion, staying buried deep inside, as he attempted to catch his breath and recover and you stared at him, also trying to catch up with yourself.

You lowered your legs to the side though and in the process, his penis slipped out of you, quickly softening. You don't know what possessed you to do so, because there was really no need to, but you brought a hand up to your husbands face and moved it so you could stare into his eyes.

His soft, exhausted eyes met you, the strong hardened exterior that you saw on him at your first meeting, melted off.

Cautiously, you closed the distance, molding your lips to his again.

Roose kissed back fervently this time, no longer hesitant and letting you take the lead. His domineering hand coming behind to cradle your face.

Your eagerness had surprised him in the beginning. But once he'd entered you, it was as if a switch had turned on for both of you. He'd expected you to bravely take on the duty that all women had to endure but he'd never expected you to take to it so well, craving more, wanting him.

Roose had never been the type of man to think about, much less want to be wanted. But his cock nearly twitched back to life, remembering. You pulled him in with your legs, asked him to fuck you harder, you came, and even afterwards, you wanted more.

When your lips finally parted, he stared, evaluating you with a new lense, a lense of true fondness. It was something that — Roose wouldn't ever dare say out loud but — it was something that could even develop into something deeper than a vague fondness or physical attraction. Something like love.

You pressed one last chaste kiss to him and smiled widely, asking, "Is that what every night will be like?" You asked, "If so I think you'll make me a very happy lady."

Roose couldn't think of a proper, clearly worded answer, so he just pressed his lips to yours again, hungrily. A very happy lady indeed. And he'll be happy to see you happy.

[starlightsuffered]

Ovulating

Info - ovulating reader, werewolf au, stranger sex, breeding kink, unprotected sex, cock warming, animalistic sex

I could smell it on her. She was ovulating. She was primed to be bred. She needed to be filled as bad as I needed to fill. She wanted to be pregnant, she needed to have a creamy load shot into her womb. She needed to be heavy and round and absolutely bursting with cum.

The moon was full and I could feel my strength increase as I approached her. She was bathing naked in the mating pool. This was where the fertile members of our kind went to find a mate for their ovulation time.

“Are you available?” I barely gritted the words out. I was painfully hard and her bare form was so tempting it should have been sinful. My cock throbbed and dripped as I thought of her snugness, her fertile womb, the way we would crash together. Regardless of all this, I would ask if I was the one she wanted to breed her.

“For you I am,” she purred.

“What do you mean?”

“I have watched you, hunting in your pack. You are a favourable mate. Your length and girth along with your angelic looks and creative mind. I would bow before you to bear your offspring.”

“No need to bow, please, just let me have you. Let me bury my member in your womb and give you what you want,” I begged.

She came to me and I was so grateful only my clothing needed tearing off. All of her was bare. The swell of her breasts, the tenderness of her cunt, the curves of her figure, it was all nearly too much to bear. Finally, she’d reached me.

My breath ghosted over her lips. We held one another’s gaze for a moment. All was still in the world. We were all that mattered and existed.

Then I pounced. I could smell her fertile sweetness. I laid her down in the grass hurriedly. I torn my clothes in the need to get them up. Just the scent of one another was enough to get us wet enough that I could slide in easily.

Our slick mixed as my cock rammed home. Her cunt was tight and I could feel her body calling to mine.

“Uh, uh, fuck!” I moaned with every thrust.

“Make me swell,” she begged.

“I’m going to put a baby in you,” I gasped. “A litter of pups will fill you womb.”

My body was on fire as I rocked against her. I was deep, and clenched hard.

“My beloved, my immortal beloved,” I breathed into her ear. I needed her to know what an honour it was to impregnate her.

“I want to be full of your seed,” she whispered desperately. “I need to be sloshing with your cum, with your offering.”

“Yes, I’m going to get you pregnant,” I wailed. I felt the howl of release building inside me. The longer my cock plunged inside her the harder it was to contain.

“You feel so good, you feel like heaven,” I told her. I was balls deep. My balls themselves were growing with seed, preparing to overwhelm her with cum. She needed to be full.

I wanted to own her, claim her fertile cunt. I needed to be the reason she was round and leaking milk. Every other wolf would know. My scent would linger on her. They would know she grew because of me, because of what I’d shot inside her. She was mine, mine, mine.

“Yes!” she wailed. She wrapped her legs around me in pure bliss. I pressed closer to her. Our swear mingled as did our breath.

“Oh dear Lord, you feel better than anything,” I roared as I rammed in even harder. I held her hips in place and pushed my dick as far in as I could manage.

“Oh yes! The whole thing! Breed me as deep as I can take it, split me in two and knit me back together with your cum!” She wailed. She was clutching her stomach as if she was prepping her womb for my load.

“All of it so far in me,” she whimpered. The look in her eyes was addictive. Pure submission and willingness to be full and leaking and to grow.

I was getting tired from how hard I’d been fucking her. I just needed to breed. I let my weight fall on her and her arms were around me. All I could move was my hips as I suckled and bit her neck. I took care not to tip her skin but to make sure I marked her. The rest had to know.

Wet sounds echoed as I rutted my hips down. She was letting out feral whined and pawing at my back. We were both getting more animalistic.

We were licking and scratching. We were beasts that just needed to procreate. We panted and lapped, and fucked. I was brain dead from her pussy.

“M’gonna get you pregnant,” I repeated over and over in her ear. She was nodding and gasping. Her guttural needy noises were spurring me on.

“I’m going to cum, gonna put a baby in YOU!” I screamed the last word as I unleashed. Her walls were clamping down on me. We both made noises akin to howls. We knew the sperm had met its mate.

“Stay in me, I don’t want any chance of failure,” she begged me. We were both wet and sweaty and cum was squealching out of her from how large my load was, but I wanted to stay.

“Always,” I said as I nuzzled my face into her neck.

[hoodreader]

i think u should get a cat.

adopt don’t shop

LINKS — menu. forms.

these are my natal astrological theories for someone who would enjoy having a pet. this isn’t reserved to cats, it’s for any domestic animal. but this morning, i woke up and saw my cat’s face and said… hm… i need to dedicate something to u.

there’s gon be a lot of text. like a lot. so buckle in! click the Keep Reading button below to unlock the rest of the text. and i hope u enjoy.

History of Animals & Pets in Astrology

in astrology, the house indicator for pets is the sixth house.

the reason why the sixth house is seen for pets is due to the sixth house ruling hierarchy and providing of care. when the domestication of different animals began, it was always rooted in some sort of service. and in my opinion… it was usually some sort of labor or brutality. after all, we must consider mars rejoices in this house.

many animals unconsensually exchanged survivalism for service — with the promise of their physical needs being met, such as shelter/food/water/protection, they provide some sort of task to the humans. but like i said… mars rejoices here. and things being done unconsensually or with force is a martian quality.

so the domestication processes for many animals — if not all — were violent. for horses… they had barbed spikes in their bits and whips on their flanks. they were used for war. on chariots and then horseback. for dogs, they were given companionship given that they murder their own brothers and sisters. for cats, they were kept around if they hunted the pests that came with our young species’ booming agriculture. other animals were domesticated for the purpose of a controlled hunt, or for the purpose of carrying heavy things for us for long periods of time. the sixth house is speciesm — the belief that there is an order of command in the animal kingdom that places humans on top.

then that doesn’t include the breeding for sport. and that also is violent. whether it’s a contest of ability or contest of pedigree. horses get their legs sored — a violent process in which their legs are damaged in order to alter their gate. or animals are purposefully bred to have predispositions to health issues (and illness is ruled by the 6H). dogfights, cockfights, horse nose slitting, and so on. while indigenous peoples globally had much of a better relationship with animals, the dominant culture has brutalized animals since they were able to contain them. there’s a reason why the 6H is the house of both domestication and slavery. and they are two sides of the same coin. but i won’t get into that now.

i also even want to add in the 12H representing large animals and large animals often being used as beasts of burden. burden in the 12H! or pedigrees… which is like animal eugenics. it shows “wealth of bloodline” thus jupiter, but there’s still that saturnian/12H aspect about ancestry. and that martian aspect about how u have to essentially ‘compete’ (through merely existing) to be considered a ‘purebred’ of ur respective breed.

now… as a species, we did eventually come to a consensus on what is an appropriate way to interact with animals. though… many people do not get the memo. people still walk their dogs in 90°F weather when they’re not supposed to. people still neglect to get their pets flea medication routinely. people still hit their pets. and this isn’t a judgement to the ignorant, but a point about how when u base a relationship with another being on ownership (mars rules possession)… it’s easier to leverage their livelihood over them.

that’s why pets are ruled by the malefic sixth house.

for that reason, i don’t recommend getting a pet without educating urself. u should know the ins and outs of the animal u seek because they lose dominion when they live with u. they eat what u choose to feed them, they live where u tell them to, and so on. even just the comfort they give u from being cute or cuddly is a service. so be wise.

Animal Rulership (cont.)

animals in general — 6H, virgo, jupiter, pisces

large animals; outdoors animals �� 12H, jupiter, pisces, sagittarius, sun, 9H?

small animals — mercury, virgo, 6H (this includes pests, such as roaches, rats, and bedbugs)

house animals — 4H, 5H, 6H, cancer, moon, mercury, 6H, virgo

insects, arachnids, herpitiles — mercury, scorpio, saturn, aquarius

mammals — moon, cancer, 6H, mercury

aquatic animals — cancer, moon, pisces

beasts of burden — saturn, 12H

burrowing animals — 4H, saturn, scorpio

carnivorous — mars. maybe saturn? i mean he ate his own kids ion think he picky

omnivorous — jupiter? my theory. just because jupiter shows openness.

herbivore — venus, taurus, moon, pisces

Animal Connections

cancer / lunar energy shows fondness for animals. especially cancer ascendants, moons, sixth houses. moon influencing the ascendant or sixth house.

sixth house lord in the fourth house or twelfth house can show familiars. a familiar is a spirit, demon, or alter ego that is closely linked to the person it familiars. it’s often thought that they take the form of animals.

how to determine whether ur pet is a soul mate or familiar will obviously be in the synastry and composite charts. but it’s tricky because most people only have an approximate date of their pets’ astrology charts, especially those who adopt their pets and don’t shop them.

sixth house containing neptune, moon, in cancer, in pisces, having jovial influence shows sensitivity to animals. these people are also very in tune with animal wellness, which is why i recommend veganism, vegetarianism, or ethical meat consumption for them.

jovial influence in the sixth can also show u have a bunch of pets, lol. and jovial plus aquarius energy can show u have strange or relatively uncommon pets, such as an octopus or a madagascan hissing cockroach.

sixth house can show how u get ur pets: lord in the eleventh, maybe it was an organized community event. lord in the third, maybe u was just walking around and saw it. lord in the fourth, maybe it was a childhood pet or family pet that u just took responsibility for. lord aspecting mercury…. maybe u saw them online.

Types of Pets

lastly, i’m going to type in what i think different 6H energies might gravitate towards for pets. read for house lord, planets present, sign, and major aspects made to house lord.

this won’t account for all the nuances (example: a 6H in sag would indicate an adventurous pet but if saturn is there it could show this quality is subdued). just written for fun.

solar — something a bit bougie that stands out. attention needy ass pets. might be talkative pets but then randomly get phases of introversion. enjoys being pet and pampered. could have a golden or bright hue to fur/skin/scales/exoskeleton.

lunar — shy, sensitive, protective, and loyal pets. could see them being a real cuddly though. i really see cats for this. either a silvery / grey type of coloring or something dark and mysterious. might prefer only “their people” but get a bit territorial otherwise. could see aquatic pets here. big watery eyes.

mercurial — chatty, active. a bit of anxiousness. lovesss to play. could love learning tricks too. loves going outside and exploring their immediate environment. i imagine a warm undertone on their coloring. i could see birds here.

venutian — very pretty. maybe food motivated or play motivated. enjoys grooming, might groom themselves rather often. could see someone having a rabbit lol, or another dainty sort of pet. i could see it having many colors! possibly patterns as well.

martian — might be a predatory animal. so for example, a cat. or a scorpion. etc. lurking in the shadows. i could see them also not wanting to be bothered much lol. type to hiss or growl or puff up. irritable. if the mars influence is scorpio, i can see dark coloring, like a black cat. also i could see arthropods and herpitiles, also rats. they’re kinda shamed

jovial — biggg personality. piscean will give sweet watery eyes. emotional. loud… talkative. they themselves can be a bit large for their breed or species, or put on weight easily. they might love freedom or window time. very curious and love to explore. nosy. i can see them also having a large array of coloring. bright and expressive eyes. aquatic pets!

saturnian — dark in color. quiet or simply incapable of making a verbal sound. i could see them loving to sleep or be in solitude a lot. could be on the less cuddly side but still less irritable. might like being under things, like burrowing. might only really have one fave person, but past that… not really tryna interact much. i could see pets that are shamed here too… esp b/c saturn rules shame & exile

that’s all. i hope this was a bit interesting. :P

now… about adopt don’t shop. this is a slogan warning about the dangers of kitten mills and puppy mills from unethical/backyard breeders. there are already millions of houseless animals right now. we don’t need people breeding even more who will end up dumped at overfilled shelters.

and this isn’t limited to dogs or cats. birds, fish, reptiles, insects, and arachnids (and more) are all animals impacted by unethical breeding practices. now personally… i feel like there’s an ethical concern to be raised about all animal breeding (lol). however, if u have to get a pet from a breeding facility, make sure they’re a reputable breeder who ensures a great quality life for their animals. do not get pets from pet stores. i worked at one and had to quit from just how many of their animals died, got sick, or were mishandled.

instead, locate a reputable breeder. check out petfinder, adopt-a-pet, or ur local shelter. and if u have the ability to, maybe give senior, disabled, or shy animals a chance. they have a higher mortality rate in kill shelters because nobody thinks they’re worth the energy.

lastly, i recommend against ‘exotic pets’ or ‘exotic hybrids’ because this just further commodifies animals. not only that but the average person does not have the resources to care for them. which is why so many wolf dogs and bengal or savannah cats end up surrendered!

okay. that’s my political vegan psa. the end.

[baekguuuuu]

Daylight

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mature Content (nothing too detailed), lyric-inspired: Daylight

Word Count: 26.7k (im really sorry... again)

Summary: Born, raised, and bred in the city. Life took a dramatic turn when the things you cope with became the reason for the conflict with your father. 

With your bags packed and the cigarette you sneak inside your suitcase, you hope for the best where life will bring you when you hop on the train with no specific destination in mind. 

Skyscrapers. Blinding artificial lights. Traffic jam. Fast-paced environment. Overpriced nourishment. 

Cigarette. Alcohol. Parties. Two-faced people. Hookups. 

Those were the things I was surrounded by as a person born and raised in a big city. 

Harmful lifestyle, people are being controlled by money, everything must be documented on social media—or it never happened, people whom you call friends even though they’ve been stabbing your back since day one, relationship that should be called situationship in the first place. And last but definitely not least, parents who weren’t there physically. 

When I found out that my supposed-to-be friends in university have been hanging out without me, despite the fact that I have asked them countless of times and they would decline my invitation, saying that they were busy, or something came up, or their mother had asked them an errand—all those bullshit, but in reality, they were together. 

I should’ve just stayed at home, eat junk food on my bed while watching Netflix, instead of going out alone and finding out that they’ve been shitting on me since our freshmen year. 

But no, I didn’t. 

If it wasn’t for my problem with falling asleep, I wouldn’t have gone to a pub by myself, ordering a few drinks to get tipsy so I could get some rest. I sent a message to our group chat, trying my luck if someone was available. And obviously, they all turned me down. 

“Yeah—I know! She looks so dumb when she smiles!” 

I was in my second glass when I recognized Lisa’s voice, trying so hard to be husky and chic at the same time. No name was mentioned, yet my heart started thumping inside my chest, slowly turning my head to peek over my shoulder to glance where the voice came from. 

And I was right. Lisa, Wendy, and Soyeon were there... and some guys. Probably their date—I don’t know. Then my eyes landed on a particular person who I’ve been seeing for a few weeks now: Eunwoo. Given that we weren’t official, I thought we were hitting it off. My brows drew together when I followed the hand resting on his lap, which was Lisa’s. 

They all said they were busy, and it was too late for them to go out, yet here they are. Giggling, flirting, drinking, and talking shit when they thought I couldn’t hear them. 

I didn’t understand myself when I decided to stay for a few more minutes to hear what’re their thoughts were about me. Each and every word they would spat added a needle poking in my chest. 

“She should be ashamed, to be honest. Her older brother has had good reputation since high school to university, and she has the audacity to just exist—” 

“Are you done?” 

The look on their faces is fucking hilarious when I finally had enough and stormed to their table with the most blank expression I could ever done. I can’t be more thankful that the pub has dim lights and they can’t probably see how red my face is. 

Who will pay for the afternoon snacks in university now that I know what they’ve been doing behind my back? How will they be able to get a ride to campus now that I’d probably never hang out with them anymore? And whose luxury item they’d be using to take a photo and upload it on Instagram? 

From a couple of shots to get some sleep turns into almost half of a bottle, and finding myself making out with a man who wears oversized and overpriced clothing until sobering just a little bit because of disappointment when this man, who removed his clothes sloppily as soon as we got into a cheap motel we could find, finished in less than two minutes, leaving me hanging and frustrated.  

I groan and ruffle my hair before turning my head to look at this pathetic human being who couldn’t even last up until I’m close at least. I put on my clothes and leave the motel, palming myself that the sky is starting to get brighter yet still looks dark. My parents will definitely go apeshit on me. Again. 

Did I spend the whole night—an awful one—awake, drunk, betrayed, and sexually frustrated? 

Yes. Yes, I did. 

I started walking home, totally intoxicated, at six in the morning, makeup smudged and reeked of a combination of alcohol and puke; while healthy enthusiast people would go for a run before starting their day. 

“Good morning to people who wake up on my bedtime,” I’d slurred loudly, clumsily waving a hand to them. Of course, I’d always received a look from head to toe, probably wondering about the condition of my organs at that point. 

“Don’t you think you’re too much?” 

I tried drowning my dad’s nagging by sticking my head further down the toilet bowl while I let out the immoderate booze I downed the whole night. 

My dad is the typical businessman. We’re not super rich to the extent that we have a butler or a red carpet by the front door—I think, but we do have some helpers to get shit done here at home. He’s become strict now that I’m older, but he did spoil me as a child, like a toddler-child, not the elementary-child because all I got during that time was trauma. 

I’m not saying he’s not a good father, but he’s really uptight, mainly to me, especially when I started getting into trouble as early as nine years old—I stabbed a classmate with a sharp pencil, but that’s another story to tell. 

My mom is the typical housewife of a businessman. She’s into wine and aesthetics. You know, she likes spending loads of money on marble things, antiques, and charcuterie that she never eats. She’s the madam of the house. Although, she’s the gentle parent among the two of them, and has no bad blood with anyone from being so friendly that she signed up to, at least, nine charities. 

She’s always present in those charities, volunteering—all that stuff, but never once was she present to my piano recital, school performances, parent-teacher conferences, the list goes on.  

“Can you guys—” she hurriedly closes the door and curtains that could be a reason someone might see the chaos inside our house, “—stop it? It’s not even seven in the morning!” 

I heard my father scoff, and even though I was staring blankly at the pearl-white toilet before me, I could imagine how he rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disapproval. Like he always does. “Yes, of course. What our neighbor thinks is more important than controlling your daughter. It’s your fault she’s become like this—” 

“What do you mean my fault? You’re her parent, too. And why are you talking like that? We’ve all been in this stage of life—” 

“I didn’t.” 

Ah... how can I forget about my older brother, Kyungsoo, who exists in this world to make my life miserable as it already is. No, I’m just kidding—or not. We have the typical sibling-relationship. Our priority is to annoy each other, until one of us snitches to our parents. 

Unlike me, who struggles to get a bachelor’s degree, Kyungsoo made it like a walk in a park that our dad thought’d be the same for me. He’s now aiming for a master’s, and he shows that he’ll continue until he gets a PhD. 

I close my eyes, on the verge of crying, because I know where this will go now that Kyungsoo has decided that adding fuel to the fire is a good idea.  

“See?” My dad’s voice was so loud that I felt the vibration on the walls. “Stop making excuses for the behavior of your daughter. It’s the choice she made—it’s the path she wants to go. Why am I still paying for her school? Her car, clothes—even uses my card to buy alcohol and cigarettes—don’t be surprised that I know! I always check your transaction history.” 

He ended his sentence by pointing his index finger at my face as soon as I pushed myself up from the floor. I wanted to say something—things that have been going through my mind, but I’m tired... physically as I haven’t gotten a blink of sleep, and mentally... for so many things I couldn’t comprehend. 

I know the three of them are waiting for me to rebut but what they didn’t expect was for me to nod my head in confirmation. 

“Yeah... I smoke and I drink a lot, I even used your card for motels—” 

I already saw it coming on how he would react, but not like this. Although, it’s not the first time he had to discipline me physically, nobody predicted that the side of my head would hit the wall from the impact of his hit. The scene is a bit dramatic with my mom’s gasping and Kyungsoo bulging his eyes out. I don’t think it’s that serious as I still feel okay, just a bit dizzy, though my lip got cut and is bleeding from the actual slap. 

Deep down in my heart, I hope that my dad will apologize for his outburst, but I know I deserve it when he coldly said, “I’m done with you.” 

My dad didn’t throw me out directly—or he did—but he clearly stated that he didn’t want to see my face under his roof. I tried to call my friends but remember, I have none now and haven’t been in touch with my high school friends for years. It’d be weird to call them asking for a place to stay for the rest of the summer break. 

Obviously, he confiscated the credit card I typically use and the car I received as a gift when I finished high school. 

I didn’t even get a chance to take a rest even for a short while, and immediately packed my belongings with a heavy heart. I know what I’ve done, and I kind of deserve this punishment he’s giving me, but could I at least have an apology? Because that slap hurt so bad. 

Alright, maybe he thinks that I do not deserve anything for all the headaches I’ve given him. But can he at least ask me what’s going on? How’s school? Did someone hurt me? Am I okay? I can’t even remember the last time he asks me if I’ve eaten. That goes for my mom as well. 

“Where will you go?” 

Kyungsoo asks with a low voice while he watches me struggle to zip the suitcase close. I had to sit on top so my clothes would be compressed a little bit. I can only manage to carry a duffel bag and a large suitcase by myself; hence I must compromise. 

“Here and there,” I curtly respond, not batting an eye to him. I grab a plain t-shirt and walk towards the ensuite bathroom to change. Although I still have alcohol in my system and I’m still quite dizzy, I can’t deny the fact that my clothes smell terrible. 

“I can ask Junmyeon hyung if you can stay at his place,” he says right after I leave the bathroom. “He’s rarely home and I—” 

I scoff, rolling my eyes as I sling the duffel bag on my shoulder and grab the handle of the suitcase. “Why do you even care?” 

Kyungsoo looks taken aback by my reaction, perhaps thinking that I’d be kneeling before him in happiness that he’s offering his friend’s apartment for me to stay while our dad takes his time to cool off. “Of course I care, you’re my sis—” 

“No shit, Kyungsoo,” I laugh incredulously, not letting him finish his sentence. “Just few weeks ago, you literally said to my face how embarrassed you are because I’m in the same family tree as you.” 

I saw how his jaw went tight, seemingly out of words. And I could feel the lump in my throat; my eyesight got glossy as tears started to form in the brim of my eyes. I’ve never talked nor confronted them about the way they communicate with me. Whether how hurtful their words were, I would swallow my pride and isolate myself with despicable things I’ve done. 

I walk past him with the initial thought of not looking back, but I have something that needs to get out of my chest. “And no, Kyungsoo, you do not care about me—no one in this house does. So don’t act like a big brother now, it’s too late to do that.” 

Nowhere to go... 

Those are the words I’ve been repeating as I stare at the train station from a distance. I still have some cash that I kept hidden in case of emergency, and now I want to pat myself on the shoulder for thinking ahead—even though, this is not a good thing. 

I’m tired and starving.  

And I’m hoping that my life won’t be dark and cruel as it already is that it would suddenly rain when summer just started. 

I heave a deep breath, closing my eyes before I wheel my things with me. I cross the road as I walk towards the train station, with no specific destination in mind. 

My eyes are wide open, looking at the big screen with the details of departure and arrival times from and to the places I’ve never heard of before. Until my eyes reached the last town on the list, it would take almost five hours. It rings a bell, but I’m unsure where and when I’ve heard of it or if it’s just a figment of my imagination. 

I paid for a one-way ticket, bought myself a convenient store rice ball and a bottle of water, charged my phone to the outlet at the corner of the waiting area, and hoped for the best. 

I’ve been out of the country, of course, but travelling to somewhere with little to no money, with no backups or whatsoever, is terrifying. I don’t know where it will get me, however, I’m already desperate and I, honestly, want to get out of here for a while. 

I still have a year left in university, so there is a massive probability that I’ll be back before the semester starts. Even though I’m struggling to pass my course, I don’t have the desire to just drop out. Even if it means that I must start making money to support myself, I’ll do it. 

You don’t know how to do anything. How will you survive? 

I can hear my dad’s voice inside my head, reminding me how useless I’ve been to the family. 

Nuisance. 

I was labeled when I got into a massive fight with my brother in high school. I got into trouble when I hit him with my fist, but he was never once reprimanded for the way he talked to me since we were kids.  

My surroundings rushed when the town's name printed on my ticket was finally called to board. People gather their belongings and fall in the queue, waiting for the sliding door to be opened.  

So, this is it... 

I can’t wrap my head around that twelve hours ago, I had a black credit card with me, drinking with no limit, and now, I only have at least a hundred bucks in my pocket and clothes from a quarter of my closet.  

My suitcase was left on the baggage area at the end of the carriage, while my duffel bag was thrown on the overhead compartment. I plug my AirPods that thankfully got into my pocket earlier—or am I still drunk to remember that I brought it with me, while I watches the window beside my assigned seat displays buildings to transition slowly to trees and empty fields. 

When I jolted awake from the vibration of the train halting to a complete stop, it reminded me, like an ice-cold bucket of water splashed on my face, harsh and cruel, that I was, in fact, not dreaming. Most passengers are greeted by their loved ones when they exit the station. 

Unlike the one in the city, the station in this town is open air, facing the blue ocean with the sound of seagulls singing around. My heart feels like it's being tickled by a soft feather when the warm breeze of summer air hits my face.  

I can’t describe the smell, but it’s nothing like the air I breathe back in the city. There’s a distinct smell of the ocean, though it’s not unpleasant, but more on cozy sentiment. The sun shines bright and there are trees planted all over the place, contradicted with the cloudy and polluted city I grew up in. 

“Young lady—miss!” 

A faint voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn my head on the side and look over my shoulder to see an elderly woman walking briskly towards me. Her hair is white, her skin is wrinkly, and the top of her head only reaches my jawline.  

She gives me a kind smile, handing me a phone in her hand. “You dropped this.” 

My eyes widened as my hands frantically searched for the device I thought was in my pocket. “Oh, shit—oh, my God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to curse. I—” 

“It’s alright,” she gives my hand a pat, chuckling and seemingly amuse by my reaction. “You’re not from here, aren’t you?” 

I mumble an appreciation for the kind gesture before shaking my head to answer her question. “Uh, no. Not really.” I chuckle, a bit embarrassed that my appearance probably screams tourist. 

She looks delighted with my answer, setting her bag on the ground before clasping her hands excitedly. “We haven’t had visitors in this small town for such a long time! What a pleasant surprise this is!” 

“I mean,” I give her a smile before bashfully looking down at my feet, “trying something new, I guess.” 

“That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, getting her bag from the ground. “Do you have an itinerary? Or would you want me to help you?” 

I hope my eyes didn’t glisten in relief when I look at her in disbelief. But then I remember how we were taught for ages to not talk to strangers, regardless of gender and age, to not trust anyone, to not take anything from them nor go with them to places. 

The old lady must have read my expression that she laughs, the corner of her eyes crinkling as they shaped into a crescent. “The sun is up, and there’s a lot of people around. I’m not going to kidnap you, dear. I’m old as you can see and can’t move fast. You can ask me questions about the town, and I will answer them. That’s it. All of us here get excited when someone visits this small town. Forgive this old grandma, my dear.” 

Warmth creeps up from my neck up to my face from embarrassment, concealing my scarlet red cheeks by looking around to act as if I’m looking for something. “I—uhm...” I rub the back of my neck, trying to get my brain to work despite being sleep deprived and hangover. “To be honest, I really don’t have any idea where to start. But would you happen to know where I can find a place to stay? Like an affordable hotel or something?” 

I internally cringe from the way I deliver the last few words. I sounded like a spoiled brat, and it’s not my intention. Maybe I should’ve asked where I can earn money instead... right? 

“Oh, dear...” her shoulders slumped as she sighs, looking like in deep thoughts while she thinks thoroughly about my inquiry. “We don’t really have hotels around here, but some families offer a room in their home for a price.” 

The horror-thriller movies I’ve watched before quickly flies out my mind, and I am that desperate to find a place to stay. 

“Do you happen to know where I can find one? But I only have a limited budget, so...” I grimace, internally crying with my situation. 

“Hmm... let me see,” she fished out a flip phone from her purse, dialing a number before pressing the device on her ear. I watch her every action like a lost sheep, making me realize how I took my lifestyle for granted. 

“Youngmi! It’s me!” she exclaimed, my shoulders flinching from how loud her voice is. “We have a visitor—yes! I’m surprised myself. But she’s looking for a place to stay—for how long?” 

She turns her focus to me, covering the phone's mic with her other hand. “For how long, dear?” 

For how long? Why haven’t I thought about that? I don’t know how long I’d be staying here... will my family look for me? Or am I getting my hopes too high for nothing? 

“Uh—two months, maybe?” 

The old lady looks stunned for a few seconds before clearing her throat to inform the other person on the line. “Two months, Youngmi. Is it okay—or? Okay, okay.” 

The phone call ended with a sigh and I’m not taking it as a good sign. “No?” My voice was small and quiet, feeling a little too hopeless with the thought that I’d probably sleep on the street tonight. 

She shakes her head, looking at me with sad eyes as if reading my mind and pitying me. “Her daughter-in-law will give birth anytime soon; she can’t lend her spare room that long. I’m so sorry, dear.” 

“Oh...” the corner of my lips curved downwards, feeling dejected, yet it was expected since nothing was planned with this little trip of mine. “That’s okay, though. Thank you so much for helping me—” 

“I have a spare room if you’d like,” she proposes, cutting me off in the middle of my dilemma. “I live by myself. My husband left this planet almost two years ago, but I do have some animals to keep me company. If you don’t mind some creatures waking you up early in the morning.” She ended her sentence with a chuckle, and I couldn’t help myself but smile, it’s contagious. 

“I—how much would that be?” I stutter, my heart thumping inside my chest for a couple of reasons. One, she could be a psycho despite her sweet appearance and would murder me in my sleep. Two, I only have a hundred bucks with me and have no other source of income. Maybe I can sell some of my things to pay for my stay? 

The old lady shrugs her shoulders, laughing quietly before patting and gently squeezing my arm. “I’m fine with how much you’re willing to pay. I’m already old and don’t need much money.” 

In a hurry, I unzip my duffel bag and hand her the crumpled bills in my hand, looking a bit guilty from how they are stored. I’m aware that what I’m doing is risky, but I can’t think of anything else other than a roof over my head. “This is everything I have right now, but I’ll find a way to pay you more—I swear.” 

The old lady looks lost for a minute, her eyes shifting from the messy bill on her palm to my round, pleasing eyes. “It’s—it’s alright, dear. Calm down. But—” she nods her head to my things. “We don’t really have public transportation here, and I usually walk. Are you alright with walking?” 

I don’t even go to the  gym to do a heavy workout since I prefer Pilates and yoga, but beggars can’t be choosers, right? Hence, I nod my head with a tight smile, hoping to God that it doesn’t look forceful. 

Or it did. 

She has a fond smile on her face as she shakes her head, dialing another number on her flip phone. “Baekhyun-ah! I’m so sorry to call you suddenly—ah, of course, this grandma knows how to use her phone now. Are you busy right now—oh, that’s great! Is it alright if you pick us up from the train station? Of course, I’ll pay you.” 

I am greatly astounded that this grandma seems to know everyone in this town, when I don’t even know our neighbor’s name even though we’ve been living beside them all my life. I’ve heard stories about how countryside residents have tight communities, unlike in the city, but witnessing it is another level. 

We both waited in front of the station for almost ten minutes until a beaten, on the looks of it, pick-up truck pulled up.  

A young man, looking around my age, jumps out of the truck. He has dark brown hair that seems really soft to touch, and a clear, sun kissed skin. He’s wearing a loose white T-shirt and a light blue jeans.  

“I should charge you double for interrupting my little date, Gran.” He laughs, giving the old lady a quick hug. “How’s your trip to the dreadful city?” 

The old lady who was addressed as Gran by this man, who I believe is Baekhyun from the phone call earlier, poked the side of his stomach, clicking her tongue. “It was fine, and we both know that you’re not on a date, Baekhyun. Everyone is out of your league.” 

Baekhyun places his hands on his chest, faking a grunt as if he has been hit. “That hurts, Gran-gran.” 

“Enough with the chitchat! Come, help us with these bags.” she pushed Baekhyun playfully to where my things are placed, and I think that’s the only time he notices that I was here the whole time. 

Now that he’s up-close, I’m able to see the moles on his face that look like a constellation, how droopy his eyes are, and how can I miss his triangular-shaped lips of his. It’s so pink, and glossy—what the hell am I thinking? 

“Oh, hi there,” he greet. Hisis facial expression immediateldroppedps, except for his ey, which quickly scanned my suitcase, shoes, andmy head. The tone of his voicbecamees hostile, far from his enthusiasm earlier. “From the city?” 

Five words. It only took him five words for me to realize that he’s not really fond of the city... or living creature from the city. 

“Yes, I am,” I answer him politely, forcing a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “Is there something I should be concerned about?” 

I saw how the corner of his eye twitches before he literally throws my suitcase on the back of his truck. My eyes widen and I swear I could hear my heart breaking. “What the fu—that’s a Rimowa’s special edition!” 

I’m fuming and I bet his ass that my face’s probably scarlet red, at the same time, praying that there’s no dents on my suitcase.  

“Baekhyun!” Gran scolded, slapping his arm, though she can use some force so Baekhyun and I can be even. “That’s not very nice.”  

Baekhyun, who is visibly upset for no reason at all, opens and closes the driver’s seat with so much force that I can’t help but flinch on how loud the door slammed. “Well—for starters, I’m not trying to be nice, Gran.” 

Gran looks at me with pity in her eyes, although I’m unable to comprehend what is happening, and what he saw in me that he made him this ill-mannered, when just few minutes ago, he was all friendly and making jokes with Gran. 

I have no choice but to shrug my shoulders, silently telling her that it’s fine and I’m not bothered at all. I really am not, yet somehow, I am. Or maybe I’m still hangover? 

When I open the passenger’s door, I’m instantly greeted by Baekhyun’s blazing eyes, trying so hard to look intimidating, but hey—that’s my life everyday back in the city. 

I roll my eyes, holding the door open for Gran to sit beside him instead, and I’ll take the seat beside the door. I haven’t been inside a vehicle which allows three people in the front—but I’ve never been in a pick-up truck before, so hey, who’s complaining? 

We drove for a few minutes in a very awkward silence, with me trying my best to look to my right and watch the trees and small houses on the side of the road until we reached the coastline, which, unfortunately, was on the left side.  

I’m appreciating the nature and this town in peace, being really careful not to glance at the man behind the wheel even for a nanosecond, but he seems to have a huge ego and scoffs.  

“Never seen an ocean before? Going to write blog about it so developers can get a piece of our land?” 

“Baekhyun!” Gran warned, scowling so hard that I’m starting to question if coming with her is a good idea. Because I seriously can’t afford any incident. 

I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself and think of something relaxing and such, but the drop of alcohol in my system acts up, and something in me just snaps. “Okay, listen here, you motherfucker—” 

Adrenaline rush. That is what to blame for my sudden outburst. I can’t even remember the things I said because it’s obvious that they were nonsense and full of swearing. I probably uttered made-up curse words by each alphabet to showcase my pride and to prove this Baekhyun that I’m not backing out from his ego. 

I only stop when Gran shakes her head and places the side of her head on her palm, looking helpless since she’s sitting between Baekhyun and me.  

Fortunately, when I’m done swearing that my mama wouldn’t be proud of—but hey, since when did she, the pull-up truck halts on the side of the road and I didn’t even confirm with Gran if this is her house before I hastily open the door.  

I give Baekhyun one last look, and I’m not surprised that he’s already looking at me with much hatred and somewhat disgust. It takes a lot of me not to flip him off right there and then as Gran already looks so done with us. 

My breathing is restraint, fists turning white from how I’m gripping my palm, when Baekhyun decided to piss me one last time before driving off right after getting paid by Gran. 

“I won’t be surprised if you brought air purifier in that ugly looking suitcase of yours!”  

“It’s fucking Rimowa!” 

My glare didn’t leave his pickup truck once he drives off, chanting in my head to get him stung my bees on his dick. That is until I heard my metal suitcase being picked up from the ground I came back to my senses.  

“Gran—I,” I shake my head, closing my eyes, totally embarrassed from the way I behaved earlier with the man I’ve met for fifteen minutes. “I’m sorry—I hope it’s okay for me to call you Gran.” 

“Yes, my dear, don’t worry about it.” She smiles kindly, patting my arm to assure me. “I would like to apologize as well. Baekhyun can be quite... obnoxious.” 

“Obnoxious is quite an understatement for him,” I tried to laugh it off, dusting the duffel bag freakin’ Baekhyun threw on the soil. I mean, he could at least throw it on the pavement since it’s fabric and—oh... I see what he did. That motherfu— 

“He’s a nice kid, he really is. He just can get a little sensitive to people from the city.” Gran explains, gesturing with her hand to come inside her lawn. 

“What’s the deal with him anyway?” I distractedly ask, observing her pace and silently praying that there’s no bunker or some weird stuff around. Still having the thought of a scenario in thriller movies. 

I thought when she mentioned earlier that she has animals around, I’m thinking they’re just cats and dogs, and probably some rabbits. But what I didn’t expect to see is a barn with hens and roosters, pigs, goats—wait, is that a donkey? 

I was asked to sit in the breakfast nook in the kitchen where windows are on each corner, making the natural light be the source of brightness of the house. A mug of warm tea is placed on the table in front of me and I look at it skeptically, just a precaution and Gran laughs, shaking her head in amusement. 

“I didn’t put a potion or somethin’ on it,” she chuckles, “you want me to take a sip first, so you know it’s safe?” 

My cheeks flush, and I shake my head, abashed that I got caught doubting her. “Just so you know, I’m broke, and I have no money with me. I drink a lot of alcohol and I smoke, so you won’t make good use of my organs. I’m basically useless.” Okay, the last part hurts a bit. 

Gran laughs so loud, holding her stomach as she does. “You’re so clever, dear.” 

I scrunch my nose, repeating the saying: May the odds be ever in your favor, as I raise the mug to my lips to take a sip of the tea Gran prepared. “You’re the first person to say that—oh, this is good! What’s in this?” 

“Just chamomile tea with a teaspoon of honey.” Gran answers, her lips raising a little bit, though it almost interprets as sadness as she thinks of some long-lost memory. “Anyway, dear—” she changes the topic quickly that I wasn’t able to pry, “just bear with Baekhyun. I’ll talk to him to get him to apologize. There's no excuse for what he did, especially to a lady.” 

“Well, maybe that’s why he doesn’t get any dates,” I shrug my shoulders, seemingly impressed with how my brain works to roast Baekhyun until this moment.  

Gran laughs out loud once again, and I take a sip of the tea again, which is weirdly comforting and somehow nostalgic. “So, Gran, sorry for prying, but what’s up with that dude again and the piece of land he was talking about?” 

Her jolly expression immediately drops, a wave of sorrow washes through her eyes, and her shoulders deflate before she heaves a deep sigh. “I—it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Baekhyun was just referring to typical businessmen who like to buy everything they find pretty for their own interest.” 

My lips purse while I nod my head, understanding her sentiment since my father does the same. I can’t even count with my fingers how many enemies he has because of it. “Yeah, they’re the worst.” 

“Okay, enough about this town,” Gran chuckles, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the topic. She takes the seat in front of me and intertwines her fingers before resting them on the table. “You appear to be hesitant, but I have a feeling you’re desperate. I’m not going to pry, but everything okay, dear?” 

“Yes, Gran,” my mouth curves into a smile, the doubt in me slowly dissipating, however, I’m still not ready to share my story nor give a quick overview as to why I’m here. Maybe some other day, but not today. I’m beyond spent. “By the way, Gran. Why aren’t you asking for my name? Aren’t you scared that I might be a criminal or something?”  

She snorts, giving me a dirty look. “You went ballistic when Baekhyun threw your things but didn’t raise a finger to him or me. I’m pretty sure I’m safe.” 

I press my lips together as a flush creeps up my face, still embarrassed by my outburst earlier. “Okay, let’s not mention that ever again.”  

I give Gran a kind smile, reaching my right hand to formally introduce myself. I tell her my name as we shake hands. She asks for some basic information, and I willingly answer. “I still have a year left in university, and I’m turning twenty-two in November. I live in the city my whole life and I don’t really have a good relationship with my family, so I can’t say much about them, but that’s another story to tell.” 

We talk for over an hour before I’m unable to stop the humiliating yawn coming out of my mouth. Gran shakes her head with a fond smile on her face before asking me to follow her to the spare room she has. 

The room is completely empty, except for a few dusty boxes on the corner that I probably won’t get near because I’m allergic to dust... I think.  

With the use of teamwork, Gran and I also managed to unbox and inflate the air mattress she got from Secret Santa from last year’s Christmas. I have no idea how to follow a manual and Gran is too old for such things. We both laugh it off and call it a night. 

I didn’t see Baekhyun again until my third day here. 

I came out clean to Gran the next morning. I stayed in her house and told her about my shortcomings in money. I had to ask her for sources in the town since I still had to feed myself, although she reassured me multiple times that I shouldn’t worry about basic stuff. 

She looked disappointed, nonetheless, and didn’t comment further on the situation as to why my dad kicked me out of the house.  

Since locals don’t know me yet, Gran decided to let me help in her barn instead. Taking the light tasks for now; such as feeding the animals, collecting the eggs from the hens, cleaning their stuff, and the lists go on.  

It’s a lot of adjustment since I do nothing at home, and have zero knowledge in basic home chores, what more working in a barn. But Gran is patient towards me, teaching and guiding, before letting me do the job for the rest of the day. 

On the second day—and the third day since I stayed here, Gran let me do the delivery. Nothing much. I just have to deliver the eggs to the market, get the money, then I can come back to the barn.  

I feel like a loser when Gran asked me if I know how to ride a bicycle since she doesn’t own a car, or vehicle, for me to use to deliver the eggs to the market.  

When she pulls out her flip phone and dials a number, I already know that my day will be ruined. 

“How come a human being can’t ride a simple bicycle?” 

I shut my eyes close. The urge to slam my head on the windowsill is too much. I can’t keep track of how many timeshas had said those words. 

For a second, I decided to protect my peace and let this be done with, butkepteeps going on, uttering the most sensitive topic in my life. “Didn’t your father or mother teach you?” 

“How come a human being like you won’t stop talking?” 

That seems to shut him up as he has his lips pursed when I peek at him at the corner of my eye. The veins on his hands become prominent from how tight he’s gripping the stirring wheel. Feeling like a little pride in me, I decide to continue—you know, just to piss him off since I don’t have my suitcase with me. “What? Did I strike a nerve?” 

No response. 

“You must love your truck so much that you both won’t stop making unnecessary noise—” 

My hands are fast to hold on titot on my seatbelt when Baekhyun swerve on the right, extending his arm to open the passenger’s door. I’m still catching my breath and my heart is still pumping rapidly in my chest. 

“Get out.” 

“W-wait, are you serio—” 

“Out!” 

He didn’t scare me. He looks nothing scary. But he looked visibly upset that I started to rethink what I had said. I wanted to apologize, but at the same time, he doesn’t have the right to talk to me the way he’s done since we met.  

Once again, I glare at his truck as he drives away with the eggs Gran asked me to deliver. It’s his problem now. I can just be honest with Gran and tell her how Baekhyun kicked me out of his truck in the middle of the road with the blazing sun in the sky. 

I keep cursing Baekhyun on my way back to Gran’s house. I’m really bad with direction that I circled the same intersection for at least three times. I’m sweaty, flushed, dehydrated, sunburned because I freakin’ forgot to wear sunscreen—and I’m not even sure if I packed any because I was hella hangover that day.  

“Thanks, Gran! See ya later!” 

Speaking of the devil. My heart is full of hatred when I hear his voice, the owner of the voice who is reason for my suffering; the reason why my skin is burning and my head spinning. 

Baekhyun looks surprised upon seeing me slowly walking towards the porch where he and Gran are, then his expression turns into amusement when he realizes I’m fuming with anger. 

“You motherfu—” 

I was cut off, or more like, my rage was cut off when Gran merrily called my name, clasping her hands together. “Dear, thank you so much for delivering the eggs. Though we were a bit late than scheduled, Baekhyun here told me that the market paid him well. And he lost you in the crowd? Is everything okay?” 

The corner of his lips quirked up, while the corner of my eye twitched. Lost? He freakin’ left me, kicked me and let me walk kilometers away from this place. “L-lost...?” 

“Yes, you got distracted, remember? I told you to stay close since the market can be quite crowded in the middle of the day.” Baekhyun lies through his teeth, and I’m amazed that he didn’t even stutter.  

I’m about to expose what really happened but he’s quick to walk towards where I am, bumping his shoulder with mine, not before eyeing my burnt face. “You look like Peppa Pig,” he whispers to my ear, making sure Gran won’t hear. 

I gasp loudly, having the strong urge to punch his face. However, before I can even react, he waves his hand to Gran who returns his smile, “I’ll get going now, Gran! Call me if you need anything!” 

I look at Gran incredulously, but she just shrugs her shoulder before chuckling. “You two are adorable.” 

“Ew—Gran, no!” I almost fainted right there and then. 

It’s no news that I’m having trouble sleeping, much more in this unfamiliar town, not in my room nor my bed. Though I did manage to close my eyes to rest for a bit, it’s far from sleeping to recover my energy. 

I’m already up before five in the morning and couldn’t be more surprised how chilly it is when the sun hasn’t risen yet. 

My phone has been untouched since I got here, hence I have no access to the internet, and Gran flip phone is not really functional except for making calls and texts.  

I tried to do some physics I learned in high school to balance myself on Gran’s old cruiser bicycle, so I won’t bother—or more like interact with Baekhyun the next time I have to deliver something again. 

But again, I’m not the wisest kid in the block, never was, and I can’t tell you how many times my face came contact with the ground. I’m close to getting really injured and was about to give up when a familiar, unpleasant, roaring engine pulled up beside where I am. 

“What do you want now?” I groan, praying to heavens to know what I did wrong to be punished this early in the morning. 

Baekhyun chuckles in amusement. He’s wearing a plaid shirt under a white T-shirt. His hair is a mess, and obviously unwashed. “Oh, now you’re learning how to ride a bicycle.” 

“Just—” I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself so I won’t make a scene like I have been doing around him. It’s too early and most people are still asleep. “Be on your way, Baekhyun. It's too early to deal with you.” 

“Hey, come on now,” I groan once again when he turns off the engine and gets out of this truck. “Gran texted me to give you a chance—mind you, that old lady doesn’t text anyone. So, don’t waste the chance I’m giving you now.” 

He sounds so arrogant, and I’m aware that he’s doing it on purpose to get on my nerves. I press my lips together before forcing a smile, breathing through my nose as I raise my head a little to look at him in the eye. “Can you come closer?”  

But he smiled mischievously, shaking his head. “I know what you’re gon’ do. You’ll bump your forehead on mine. I’ve seen that trick everywhere, so puh-lease.” 

I nod my head and smile innocently. “No, no. I’m not going to do that, I’ll hurt myself more than I’ll hurt you. I just have something to say to you.” 

“You can say it to me with distance.” 

“Then I’d rather not say it.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, huffing, before leaning his ear closer to me. “You’re so stubborn. What the heck you want to tell me—ah!!!” 

I normally don’t resort to violence, and I just mentioned earlier that I do not want to cause a scene, especially when the sun hasn’t risen yet. 

I just had to do it. 

As soon as his ear was a few centimeters away from my mouth, even though he was not yet done talking, I opened my mouth and sink my teeth on it. I meant to let him experience my wrath just a little bit, however, I don’t know what’s gotten into me that I bit him harder than I intended to. Or maybe I didn’t expect him to squeal like a girl. 

Expectedly, Gran walks out of the front door with a lamp in her hand, still in her sleepwear and obviously just woken up from how loud Baekhyun was. Not only Gran, but the houses nearby light up to let us know they were awakened by the noise. 

“I’m so disappointed to both of you.” Gran shakes her head as me and Baekhyun sit in her living room, the latter holding his ear as he pouts. “I don’t understand why the both of you can’t get along? Or just be civil with each other? If you don’t like each other, just don’t talk, don’t interact—and I don’t even want to know how Baekhyun ended up with a bleeding ear.” 

I can only roll my eyes when Baekhyun points his finger at my face, plastering an innocent face. “Oh, sure. Blame it on the person from the city, because I’m the bad guy here, and you’re an innocent countryside jerk.” 

He looks taken aback by what I said. He opens his mouth and closes it a few times like a fish out of water, but no words came out from his mouth. 

“Okay, now...” Gran tries to calm us down, more specifically to me. “Dear, please... let’s keep everything in place and talk calmly. Can we do that, please, hmm?” 

“I don’t know your beef with people from the city—” I ignore Gran and lock my eyes with Baekhyun who looks surprised as the old lady standing in front of us. “—but there are thousands of people living there, millions even, and I do not know each one of them. If you have a problem with them, then take it out on them, not on me! I don’t even know you and you’ve been nothing but disrespectful to me the minute we met. And now you’re going to blame me for—” 

“Okay, dear, calm down...” Gran had to sit down between us and place her hand on my arm, “you made your point, and we understood it. Right, Baekhyun?” 

The guy just stares at my face, not moving a single muscle, that, until Gran nudges his knee. “Y-yeah...” 

“And what do you say, Baekhyun?” Gran presses on, urging an apology from him. 

Baekhyun sighs, licking his bottom lip. “I—I’m sorry...” 

“Thank you, Baekhyun,” Gran smiles before turning her attention back to me. “Dear?” 

My eyes widen as I gape at her. “Why me—” 

“It’s never okay to hurt someone, dear...” 

I sigh in defeat, definitely agreeing with her sentiment. “Fine. I’m sorry for biting your ear.” But I don’t think I need to apologize for anything else than that. 

It feels like déjà vu the next time I see Baekhyun. It’s almost five in the morning, and I’m teaching myself to ride a bicycle again when his truck pulls up.  

“’Sup?” 

I dramatically groan, placing my feet on the ground to balance myself as I watch him get out of his truck. “What now, Baekhyun? Do you want your other ear to get bitten this time—and why the hell are you out this early?” 

Baekhyun scrunches up his face in judgement, or disgust—I can’t really distinguish. He places a hand on the handlebar just beside my own hand and wiggles it as if to test if it’s sturdy enough. “I think this need a little bit of fixing, and I can see from here how rusty the chain is, we might need to oil or, worst scenario, change it.” 

He ends his sentence with a smile, which made me frown because he never smiles when my presence is around. My face contorted, unable to comprehend what was happening. Then I raise my brows at him to answer my question earlier, and I’m glad he gets the message. 

“I help with the boats at midnight, and we just finished a while ago. This is like my part-time job. And no, I don’t want my other ear to get bitten, thank you very much.” 

I look at him skeptically, “Okay... and what are you doing here? Talking to me like a normal person?” 

He sighs, his chest puffing out as he does. “Well, we were off to a bad start, and I do realize how jerk I was to you. And I would like to apologize for the way I behaved. I also want you to know that I’m not kind of a person.” 

“Gran wrote that script, yes?” I roll my eyes, though I can’t stop the corner of my lips from curving up. 

Even with the lack of bright rays of the sun, and the only source of light is from the lamppost on the road, I see how he smiles as well. “That obvious, huh?” 

“Very,” I chuckle, slapping his hand away from the handlebar. “The choice of words was much mature and totally far from who you are.” 

“Hey! I rehearsed my lines all night. Be appreciative, can you?” 

“Oh, I will, once you fixed the chain something—I’m not really sure what’s the function of,” I get off the bike and push it towards Baekhyun who drops his expression to a deadpan. 

“Will I be getting paid?” he asks, taking a quick look at Gran’s old cruiser bicycle.  

“Well, I don’t have extra money,” I sniff, looking away to hide my broke-ness, and play it cool. And I was quick to stop him when he was about to drop the bike when he learned I don’t have money to pay him. “I can show you my tits? Guys like chest, right? They’re not that big but they’re pretty decent—” 

“What the fu—” 

“Okay, okay! I’m just kidding, sheesh!” Or not. 

“Just stop talking. Can you do that, please?” he emphasizes the last word as he started working on the bicycle and I nod my head like an obedient child. 

Almost half an hour later and a greasy Baekhyun, I’m finally back on my bicycle, learning how to cruise without falling face first.  

By six-thirty in the morning, Gran walks out of the front door, beyond surprise to see Baekhyun helping me attach a semi-large basket on the rear rack of the bicycle. “Lovely morning, kids! And Baekhyun, you need a bath.” 

I look at the man in topic, eyeing him from head to toe and boy did he need a good ol’ scrubbing. “He does.” 

Baekhyun looks me dead in the eye before raising his brows. “Seriously? After I explained what a chain does to a bicycle after I taught you how to balance yourself by pedaling because physics wasn’t working, and gravity was failing you?” 

“Shut up! That’s supposed to be a secret and not to be said out loud.” I walk past him, purposely bumping my shoulder on him. “And you stink; you really do need a bath.” 

“Okay—come on, come on. Don’t ruin the bond you just created,” Gran waves her hand for us to go inside. “Let’s have breakfast together. And Baekhyun, please, help yourself in the bathroom.” 

And I received another glare when I snickered not so subtly. 

Since that eventful morning, I’ve been civil with Baekhyun. We may bicker here and there, but no ear-biting incident has ever occurred henceforth. 

I’ve also been delivering stuff to the market, or sometimes door to door, when Gran needs a helping hand. My bicycle journey is going well, though there were few minor troubles, but nothing serious that should be cause for concern. 

At times, if he had time, he’d go with me to the market or around the town—or maybe, most probably rather, Gran forced him to. 

And that became the reason as why I met Jisoo. The gorgeous lady that is way out of his league. 

“Gran’s right, everyone is out of your league,” I mutter as soon as Jisoo is already out of sight.  

We stopped by the bakery which Jisoo’s family runs and where she works. She’s nice and friendly, already asked me to come by next time I’m free so she can give me a proper tour around. And I didn’t fail to notice how Baekhyun ogles at her. He looked like he was about to whack my head when I used that term to explain how he was looking at the lady. 

“Not everyone, because that means you’re included,” he simply answers. My eyes widen in shock, gaping at what he just said. Fortunately, he immediately clears things up, but not before rolling his eyes and scoffing. “I am the one who’s out of your league. I’m way better than you.” 

Although I find it offensive, I sigh in relief and wipe an imaginary sweat on my forehead. “Phew, for a minute I thought you were flirting with me.” 

“I’m offended.” 

I think it’s been over two weeks now or so—I don’t know, I stopped counting the days. 

I’m scared to turn on my phone. I’m scared that there will be no text messages nor calls from my family asking my whereabouts or showing their worry on my well-being.  

I’m scared because I have a feeling inside me that I already know the answer to that. 

Always have been. 

The clock shows two in the morning, and I’m on Gran’s roof with the pack of cigarettes I didn’t forget to bring along. Putting a stick between my lips before inhaling deeply, holding my breath for a second, and exhaling the smoke out of my mouth. 

This always made me calm; my nerves feel soothed, my mind would stop running for a minute, and the smell developed as a comfort to me. 

Although I know the risks of smoking, it’s the only way that I know of to cope in life... my life. 

“Holy crap, I thought something was burning up here.” 

I almost jumped from the roof when a voice interrupted my deep thoughts. And my reflex is to throw away the butt of the cigarette after squashing down the tip.  

I peek over my shoulder and see Baekhyun carefully scooting next to me, making sure that his movement won’t make a fuss and wake up the owner of the house. 

“What the hell? Do you really appear everywhere I’d go?” I roll my eyes at him, taking another stick from the box and offering it to him, which he declines almost immediately. 

“I didn’t know you smoke,” Baekhyun mumbles while he watches me flick the lighter to the tip of the cigarette. “That’s not really good for your health, or mine, since you’re exposing me to secondhand smoking.” 

I chuckle at him quite lowly, looking up to the dark sky filled with stars, which I don’t often get to see back at home as the light pollution in the city is crazy. “Tell me something I don’t know, Baekhyun, then I might be interested to listen. And you’re the one who came up here, you’re free to go and save your lungs, mister.” 

I expected another smart response from him per our usual banter, but when I heard nothing, I carefully remove my stare from the sky to look at him, and more than surprise to see him already looking at my face with expression I can’t define.  

“W-what?” My voice tried so hard to sound my normal self, but it came out breathless.  

He blinks as if he’s snaps out of his trance. “I—n-nothing... I’m just curious...” 

I sniff, sitting up straight before smiling innocently at him. “Oh, I like where this is going. You’re curious about my life. Okay, Baekhyun, ask away. I’m so glad finally pique your interest.” 

Baekhyun looks like he’s about to toss me out of the roof, so I instantly shut my mouth and smile even more. Then he clears his throat, exhaling heavily. “I’m just curious... I mean I know your name, but from Gran. I know we’re almost the same age, and you’re from the city. However, when I asked Gran about why you’re here, because you’re obviously not here to be a tourist, she won’t tell me.” 

My eyes squint at him for a second, and then I proceed to raise a brow at him. “So, you want the tea?” 

He tilts his head, seemingly confused. “What tea?” 

“Never mind,” I purse my lips, breathing through my nose, trying so hard not to say something ridiculous. 

He snorts, shaking his head. “I’m just kidding, I know what tea means. For your information, we’re quite civilized here.” 

I exhale in relief, holding a hand on my chest. “Oh, that’s great to hear. I was about to say green tea or chamomile tea.” 

Baekhyun laughed out loud, “You’re so lame!” and I had to place my palm on his mouth.  

“Shh! You’ll wake Gran up!” When he nods his head, I disgustingly look at my palm, playfully wiping it on his shirt. 

“So...” he trails off, poking my arm with his finger. “You deliver eggs to the market, but you use a very expensive sunscreen. You’re not here for a vacation, aren’t you?” 

“Not beating around the bush, I see.” I tried to laugh it off, trying my luck that maybe he’d change the topic, but he raises his brows as he waits for my answer. “Well... it’s a long story.” 

“I’m done working, so I have all night to listen.” he answers immediately, pushing my shoulder with his. “Come on.” 

I exhale through my nose, lifting the cigarette up in the air. “You see this? My dad hates this, and alcohol. I do a lot of both, apparently. So, he threw me out of the house. He also confiscated my credit card and I only had around hundred bucks, so Gran took me in.” 

It’s not like I’m not comfortable telling people what I’ve done to get my father ballistic, but I honestly don’t know how to put what really happened in words. I don’t know how to verbalize things, emotions, and such. So, I’m really out of place when Baekhyun waits for another word to come out of my mouth. 

“End of story,” I grin at him, hoping that he won’t be able to read my mind.  

He looks at my face for a few moments, not leaving my eyes as it feels like he’s staring into my soul, as dramatic as it may sound. “That’s a really long story,” he shakes his head, and the tone of his voice is sarcastic. He stood on his feet and dusted his pants, “You seem no fun. I’m going home now.” 

I send him a glare before scrunching my nose at him. “I’m just confirming your assumption of me being a spoiled brat.” 

“I never said you’re a spoiled brat,” he quickly denies, looking at me like I have two heads on my neck. 

“But you’ve thought about it,” I tease him, wiggling my eyebrows at him. 

“You can’t blame me for that though. You keep saying: it’s Rimowa, it’s Rimowa, that I had to search on the internet what the heck is a Rimowa. I honestly thought it was a freakin’ country!” 

It was my turn to laugh out loud, and he had to put his palm on my mouth. 

The next time I see Baek,hyun it is almost five in the morning. I couldn’t sleep; hence I let my curiosity get the best out of me and went to where the “boats” are. 

It’s still dark, although the streetlamps illuminate the path on the way there. As I near the dock, my surroundings come from crickets to men shouting and laughing, I’m not sure anymore, but they’re thunderous. 

“Excuse me,” I raise a hand to a middle-aged man who’s about to pass by. He looks confused as he waits for me to talk. “Is Baekhyun around?” 

The man's frown fades away. Baekhyun’s name must’ve rang a bell. “Oh, Byun? I think he’s still on Youngtae’s boat.” 

There are hundreds of things going through my mind at once, but the most significant of them are: Baekhyun last name is Byun, which I haven’t heard until now—and I do hope that he’s the only Baekhyun in this town, and the other one is, who the hell is Youngtae and how would I know where his boat is? 

I know that people in this town know each other like they know the alphabet, but I’m not from here and I’m having quite a hard time adjusting when it comes to this kind of scenario. 

I can only chuckle awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck before pointing my thumb behind my shoulder. “Yeah... I think I’ll go for now but tell him I said hi.” 

The man, who looks really buff and has a tattoo sleeve on his left arm, slowly nods his head, perhaps unsure what is happening... as why a woman casually walked to the dock and asked for someone but would leave eventually. “Yeah... sure—you’re not from here, aren’t you?” 

I have no idea as to why I did it, but I exaggeratedly sigh—I don’t know, probably in relief that someone recognizes my naïve-ness of this town, even though I’ve been here for almost a month now. “That obvious, huh?” 

“Yeah—” he points his fingers on his ear, “locals don’t do that.” 

I didn’t understand what he meant at first, but then I realized he was referring to my earrings, several of them. My mouth forms an O shape and I nod my head to his arm as well. “Locals don’t do that either.” 

He laughs, extending his hand out for me to shake. “You got me there. I’m Hanjo, but just call me Han, people here call me that.” 

I nod my head, giving him a smile before telling him my name. “So, you’re not from here as well?” I ask, genuinely curious if he’s from the city, too. 

“So, Byun knocked you up?” he doesn’t even miss a beat and immediately changes the topic, though I did get shocked by his assumption. 

“Excuse me?” 

Han clears his throat, looking like he sobers from the way I change my tone of voice. “Sorry, that came out harsh. That Byun guy tends to play around when he’s out of town, and I thought you were here because of that.” 

I’m still looking at him skeptically, and the corner of my mouth almost drew back a snarl. “Uh, no, we’re just friends—sorry, I can’t stop myself from saying this, but I do not appreciate how you’re addressing Baekhyun.” 

“Oh, sassy—you from the city?” he tried to laugh it off, althoucouldI can see that he didn’t mean to be rude, probably just how guys talk, or I don’t know, guys their age. 

I opened my mouth, about to say something smart, but I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. I look over Han’s shoulder, and it’s a bit of a challenge since he’s quite huge, and see Baekhyun’s surprised, at the same time, smiling face. 

“Hey! What brings you here?” Baekhyun pats my arm, showcasing his perfectly aligned teeth, he then gives a nod to Han. “Hey, Han.”  

“Byun, I thought you’ve dropped out years ago. How can you still score someone from the city?” Han asks Baekhyun, and I had to remind myself that they are both males, and that’s just how they communicate... I hope.  

But what caught my attention is Baekhyun dropping out. From what? University? He attended university in the city? 

“Come on, Han.” Baekhyun chuckles, though the tone of his voice goes one note down, making him sound so manly. “That’s not a nice way to talk to someone you don’t know.” 

“Oh, but we know each other, right?” Han turns to me, calling my name as if we’ve been friends for decades. I can only make a face, turning to Baekhyun as a silent signal to get me out of here. Acouldn’tcan’t be more glad that he got the message instantly. 

“Okay! We’ll get going now, Han. Don’t drink too much, okay? Gran wouldn’t be so happy that you’re causing trouble here.” Baekhyun holds my arm, bringing me along with him as he walks away, not waiting for Han to respond. 

Baekhyun asks me to wait in his truck while he gets his things from the boat. He comes back not even five minutes later, not beating around the bush, when he removes the thin sweater he’s wearing and changes into a clean T-shirt. 

“Okay. Thank you for giving me a show, really enjoyed it.” I tried to play it cool, hiding how my cheeks blush when I saw the curve of his abs. Damn, he’s been working out. 

He laughs, throwing his sweater on my face and my nose crinkles at the smell. Sweat and seafood. He starts the car and starts driving, and I didn’t bother to ask where he’s taking me, though I have a hint that he’ll just drive me back to Gran’s place. 

“I have a question,” I break the silence, looking at his side profile, and I can’t believe I missed how his nose looks good on this side.  

“I had a hunch you have,” he chuckles, not taking his eyes off the road. 

I click my tongue, glaring at him for a second. “You said that Gran wouldn’t be happy with what Han was doing. Do they know each other? I mean, yeah, everyone knows everyone here. But you know...” 

“Hmm...” Baekhyun purses his lips as he thinks, and I almost coo at how he looks ado; ate, at the same time, almost slap myself for thinking that way. “I’m not sure if I’m in the position to tell you that.” 

“Oh, come on. I thought you like tea!”  

“Green tea or chamomile?” he repeats the joke I told him the other day, earning a glare from me. “I’m kidding. I’ll tell you, but no follow up question about it, okay?” 

I nod my head excitedly like a child. 

“Gran is Han’s mother.” Baekhyun simply said, shrugging his shoulder as if everyone should’ve known about this information. 

I can only gape athim, before verbalizing my thoughts. “I thought Gran doesn’t have a kid. I obviously guessed wrongly.” 

“Kids.” 

My jaw almost dropped on the ground, and my eyes went wide as a saucer. “No fucking way. Where’s the other one? Or how many she has?” 

“No follow up question, remember?” Baekhyun smirks, raising a brow.  

“Oh, come on. You’re no fun!” I groan at him, wanting to slap the smirk off his ,face but he’s driving, and I don’t want to risk it. 

Baekhyun laughs this time, shaking his head. “Well, I’m not going to be like you who didn’t finish her story.” That did earn him a slap on his arm, though not forcefully. He whines, rubbing the spot I hit before continuing, “Gran has two sons. Her oldest is out there, conquering the world, and you see Han... you already saw where he is in life.” 

My figure stiffens for a while, and it takes me a little while to slowly sit up straight, looking ahead of me. I didn’t want the ride to be weird, so I snickered, giving Baekhyun a playful look. “That sounds really familiar.” lookedlook into each other’s eyes for only a few seconds since he had to focus on the road, and I’m glad he didn’t say anything. But I know. I know that he has a feeling what I meant by that. 

The only time a word was said was when I realized that the road he drives on is a different route to where Gran’s house is.  

“Where—” 

“Consider yourself lucky,” he stops the car on the side of the road, pulling the handbrake before unbuckling his seatbelt. I have no choice but to fo his suit. I jump out of his truck and follow him wherever he’s taking me.  

We trek for ten minutes and I’m starting to catch my breath. “Y-you, motherfu—” 

“Just wait and see, it’ll be worth it.” Baekhyun claims, and his enthusiasm rubbing on my unfit body.  

I sit next to him on a bed of grass with little white flowers all over it. “You didn’t even ask me if I want to be driven back to Gran’s house, or if I want to torture myself by hiking before six in the morning, without breakfast, mind you.” 

“Hey, be appreciative, can you?” he bumps his shoulder with mine. “This is secret hideout. I brought you here because you look like you’re turning into a panda—what the hell happened to your eyebags, seriously?” 

His tone was playful, and I’m aware he was. He’s only doing it as a part of our normal banter-slash-daily conversation, but I smile sadly, shaking my head. “It’s nothing...” 

“Hey, come on,” he sighs, scooting closer to me, “I just gave you a tea that I’m not supposed to talk about. A little trust here, please?” 

“I’m—I—” I exhale heavily, biting my bottom lip, contemplating for a while if I should be talking about this to someone I barely know. But then, he has been there for me despite being a jerk at first. “I’m having trouble sleeping.” 

He nods his head; judgment is absent on his face. And I take it as a good sign that he’s listening to me. “Did it start when you arrived here?” 

I shake my head, starting to f my tears forming on the brim of my eyes, and I’m more than surprised because I can’t even remember the last time I cried. 

Was it when my parents didn’t attend my middle school graduation? Or was it when no one remembered my sixteenth birthday?  

I don’t know. 

“Two, three years ago? I don’t know—I honestly can’t remember.” 

Baekhyun heaves a deep trembling breath, trying to look calm as possible. “Have you got it checked? Are taking medication to help you sleep?” 

I shake my head once again, looking ahead. “No. My dad will know since I didn't really have money of my own and used his card back home. He checks all my transaction, and I’m scared that they might found out about it.” 

“Then, how do you cope?” 

I shrug my shoulders, turning my head to look at him, giving him the most genuine smile I can ever give, although it’s a sad smile. “Alcohol makes me sleepy, and cigarette soothes my nerve.” 

He doesn’t say anything for a good minute or two, and I’m starting to get worried about how I shouldn’t have told him my troubles, but when he spoke, his voice is much calmer, soothing, and quiet. “Now I know why you were always up to learn how to ride a bike in the middle of the night.” 

I laugh at his statement, the corner of my eyes crinkling in the process. “Yeah... I couldn’t sleep so , I might as well tire myself out.” 

“Is it also why you were at the dock?” 

I nod my head, “Yep, decide to take a long walk then try to go to sleep. But I saw where the dock is, and the rest is history.” 

Baekhyun hums before patting me; his mouth curves up into a gentle smile. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.” 

I don’t know what to say or how to react. But all I know is that I’m glad I told him what happened to me. My eyes didn’t leave him for a minute until he tilted his head in the direction in front of us, asking me to look at it.  

I didn’t even realize how long we’d been sitting there. The dark sky slowly turns golden. Rays of sun start peeking out at the line where the sky meets the sea. Seagulls start singing like they did when I first arrived here in this town, the sound of waves of the ocean hitting the shore... it’s incredible. 

I hold my breath, mesmerized by the majestic viewthe  of sunrise in this partthe  of the country. My first instinct was to curse to express how gorgeouswast is, but Baekhyun cuts me beforcould can even open my mouth. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” 

My head turns to look at him, a huge grin on my face to show how much I agree with his statement, but when my eyes get the sight of his face getting hit by the soft ray of sunlight, I am lost for words. 

Words wouldn’t come out between my lips, and I feel like I turn into a rock when I force myself to look away from him.  

It feels like I can’t look at anything else but him. 

Beautiful indeed. 

A month in this ,town and I’m handling it quite well than I expected on my first day.  

Of course, it’s not sunshine and rainbows with unicorns every single day. I’ve had a fair share of bad days. Although most of them were nothing serious, I could still say: Tomorrow’s a new day! 

But nothing compares to what happened when Jisoo asked me to hang out, and she’d tour me around the town—properly, as she clearly claimed.  

Don’t get me wrong, it went well. She’s probably one of the kindest people around here, next to Gran, but then again, everyone in this town is friendly and welcoming.  

I didn’t have the bicycle with me that day because Jisoo insisted on picking me up from Gran’s house and we went around the town in her sedan. And when the sun started to set, she offered to drive me back to Gran’s and of course, I agreed because I don’t have the will in me to walk that far, but surprise, surprise, Baekhyun’s truck pulled up on the side of the road, honking noisily to get our attention. 

I’m aware of his little crush on Jisoo; he made it obvious the first time I met the latter, and he made it obvious again this time. 

Of course, I brushed it off, reminding myself that we have nothing going on between us and convincing myself that I don’t have anything going on for him—and I really do hope I’m doing a great job on that. 

However, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was splashed on my face when I heard their conversation. 

“Chivalry is not dead, Baekhyun?” Jisoo giggled, pushing Baekhyun’s shoulder with her hand, and the man had the cheek to blush. “Always ready to pick her up, huh? Never seen you put an effort to a girl before.” 

“Oh, it’s not like that...” he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s from the city, and I’m doing Gran’s a favor.” 

At that moment, I had to rethink if I had the stamina to walk all the way back to Gran’s. I wanted to be alone, but Baekhyun literally pushed me inside his truck. 

He might be thinking that I’m just being sulky since I do that quite often when I lose every time we bicker. He acts normal as if he didn’t say those words earlier about me, being well aware that I was around and could hear them perfectly. 

I close my eyes and pretend to take a rest while he tells a hilarious story from his day job. Though I’m pretty tired, I still have some energy left in me. I just don’t want to see his face. 

But Baekhyun is quite smart. He figures out three later. Okay, that might be long for others, but I’m still civil with him, to the point no one notices how I tried so hard to avoid him unless necessary. 

I may not be academically smart, but I can be quite observant. I’d be up extra early to finish the errands Gran listed out for me the night before—she doesn’t usually do it, but I kind of forced her to, so I’d know in advance what I’d be doing for the day. 

Then, when he’d come over unannounced, I’d go feed Gran’s animals their second dinner. 

Everything was going well for me until I got invited to hang out with Jisoo and her friends. I really wanted to say no, but Gran looked so happy when Jisoo came knocking on her door. 

“Oh, dear, it’s alright! I’ll pack the leftovers and put them in the fridge. You can heat it up when you’re still hungry once you’re back.” she said when I tried using her meatloaf as an excuse for me not to go. 

That’s how I met Jongdae, the talkative but gentlemanly guy; Minseok, their hyung who’s always looking out for others if they have enough beer in their system and send them home.  

I’m really bad with names and can’t remember most of Jisoo’s circle, but they keep talking to me because, apparently, they’re Baekhyun friends and heard about me from the man himself. 

“Why is he not here, though?” Curiosity got the best of me when Baekhyun’s friends were were here, and of course, Jisoo’s here. “Did he not get an invite?” 

Jongdae laughs and slaps my shoulder like we’ve known each other our whole lives. Minseok chuckles at the sight before taking a swig of his beer. “Baekhyun’s always invited. In fact, he’d be there before you can invite him. But we don’t know—said that he’s not feeling well or somethin’.” 

I frown upon hearing that. He seemed fine when he dropped by this morning at Gran’s. “What—is he sick?” 

“He’s sick alright,” Jongdae snorts, drinking his beer, and Minseok nudges him with his knee. “Hey—you know what? Let’s take a picture to capture this moment.” 

My expression twists at the sudden change of subject, nonetheless, I force the best I could ever give as soon as Jongdae put his phone an arm away after switching to the front camera. “Say: Baekhyun’s sick!” 

I didn’t follow him, though I did manage to sneak an eye roll before he hit the capture button. 

“Send it to me, I’d like a copy,” Minseok says, taking his phone out from his pocket. Jongdae nods his head, tapping the screen of his phone before gasping out loud. 

“What?” Me and Minseok choruses.  

Jongdae turns to us with wide eyes, “I mistakenly sent it to our group chat instead of personal message. Okay, I’m going to put my phone to DND before someone spams me.” 

I roll my eyes once again but can’t fight the smile spreading on my lips, thinking how ridiculous yet fun experience it is to hang out with these guys. While Minseok looks like he’s going to smash his bottle of beer on Jongdae’s head. “Can you stop being so dramatic for once?” 

The night is filled with laughter, beers, and some fun games that, I must admit, are fun. I don’t think I can remember the last time I enjoyed the company of being around other people, or people in general. 

I’m on my third bottle of cold beer, chatting between Jongdae and Minseok, when the bottle in my hand magically disappears. I haven’t had alcohol for quite a long time—no judgment, that I’m already tipsy. I was about to fight anyone just for a bottle of beer but was met with Baekhyun’s eyes. 

“Oh, that was fast!” Jongdae cheers, pertaining to Baekhyun. He claps his hand and pats the space beside him for the guy to sit. 

But instead, Baekhyun motions me to scoot a little so he can squeeze in the space between me and Jongdae. And of course, that receives a grunt from us. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask him in a small voice, though his two friends definitely heard me as they both snicker at the same time. 

Before Baekhyun could answer, Jisoo appears in front of us, holding her own drink and a bit red, probably from drinking too much—she’s not very subtle with her drinking, but I guess everyone needs a little loose from time to time, no one’s judging. 

“Baekhyun! I thought you couldn’t make it!” 

I’m not interested in seeing their interaction as I’m already sulking as it is, so I tried to reach out for my beer that’s still in Baekhyun’s hold, but as soon as my fingertips touch it, he clicks his tongue at me, giving me a warning look. 

Jongdae crosses his legs, leaning on his hands to look at Baekhyun mockingly. “Oh yes, Baekhyun. I thought you said you were too tired and not feeling like it?” 

He really does look tired, and I’m also confused as to why he’s here. But he just kicks Jongdae’s feet and glares at Minseok who frowns because the guy is literally younger than him. “I don’t trust you guys with alcohol.” 

“Pssh!” Jongdae dismisses him by waving a hand on his face. “We both know that’s a lie. You trust us the most.” 

“He’s drunk,” I murmur, which receives a hum of agreement from Baekhyun that makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.  

He turns his head a little to the side to peek over his shoulder. His face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath tickling my lashes. “You?” 

I shake my head a little, my words getting caught in my throat that I have to put an effort to respond to him. “No, not really.” 

Jongdae couldn’t stop his excitement and let out a high pitch laugh that caught the attention of other people around.  

I’m the one who breaks the eye contact, clearing my throat before looking the other way. I see Minseok already giving me a small smile, wiggling his brows. He manages to murmur, “adorable,” before drinking his beer. 

If I heard that a few weeks ago, I’d probably have had the same reaction when Gran said the same thing. But now, I can honestly feel the heat creeping up from my neck to my cheeks. I’ll just use the alcohol as an excuse if someone notices. 

As more empty bottles scattered around the area, few people gathered where we are, and not to mention they decided it was a good idea to put me on the spot to ask questions—thanks to Jongdae who practically announced that I’m a tourist here. 

“So, wait,” A girl named Bomee slurs, tilting her head as she speaks, “your dad threw you out because you drink a lot?” 

I seriously need more alcohol in my system before I can answer her honestly. But Baekhyun here wouldn’t give them back every time I’d get a new one, and he’d give it to Jongdae instead who, I believe, puke couple times already. 

“Sort of?” I answer carefully, shrugging my shoulders. 

“Then why did you keep drinking if your family hates it?” A guy named Jaebom chimes in. And Bomee hisses at him for being so insensitive. Though, I don’t mind because all my mind can process is how they seem to be invested in my story. 

“Well—how do I explain it?” I exhale through my nose, biting my bottom lip, and my leg started to bounce, feeling a bit anxious if I should answer the question.  

But then I feel something on my bare knee since I’m wearing shorts. I shift my focus from Jaebom and glance at my side. It was Baekhyun’s thigh. He keeps his gaze ahead of him but left his thigh on my knee. 

The corner of my mouth lifts for a second before pursing my lips. It’s probably time for me to let this out, as to why I did what’s been done. To what really goes on my mind that no one bothered to ask. 

Until I arrived in this town.  

Until I met these people. 

Until I met this man who oddly calms my storm.  

“I’m not really the favorite child,” I start, giving them a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “The most common misconception is that if you’re the youngest, you get attention, love, everything. But that doesn’t apply to my family. 

“I don’t remember it well, but I had a good relationship with my father until I started school. He immediately saw the difference between me and my older brother. He’s way smarter than I am. He’s polite and I get in trouble from left to right even without trying.  

“My dad started to compare me to my brother as we grew up, and I believe that’s the main reason why I developed resentment towards my brother. My mother... she doesn’t care, she never did. She’s always been busy with her charity events that would make her look good to the public, and of course, her friends. 

“However, despite their busy schedules, they’d clear everything to attend my brother’s graduation, school events and such. But they’ve never been on mine. That’s probably the reason why something in me snapped when I was in high school.  

“I was in the wrong circle. I got in trouble for drinking and smoking. It wasn’t my attention, but for the first time, my parents went to my school, although for a reason that’s nothing to be proud of. I misunderstood the rebellion just to get their attention. 

“But now I’m in my last year for my undergrad, it just became an escape. I no longer care for my parents’ attention, but I became dependent on alcohol to sleep, and cigarettes to calm down. And to be honest, I’m scared to get checked—because what if something’s wrong with me? Who’ll take care of me? I can barely hold my shit together. Or will it worsen my situation in our house? As they’ve already seen me as a burdensome. 

“So, yeah. I’m here because I don’t have anywhere else to go. I bought a train ticket without knowing anything about the destination. Don't get me wrong, your town is freakin’ awesome, exquisite, but I’d sell my soul for a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets right now.” 

I end my speech with a deep, trembling sigh, forcing myself to give them a smile, but it immediately drops when I see most of them tearing up, especially Jongdae who’s already hammered. 

“Hey—what the heck, you guys.” I chuckle awkwardly, sitting up straight to look at them one by one. Jisoo even had to excuse herself as she cries, while Jaebeom looks at me apologetically, “I’m sorry. I—I shouldn’t have had ask you that...” 

“No, no!” I walk over to them, feeling guilty for ruining the mood. I try to calm them down, but Jongdae, being dramatic as he is, starts to sob, talking to himself as he thanks his parents for loving him despite being such a headache. 

Minseok looks at me fondly, though there’s a hint of pity and sadness in his eyes. “This is such a good reminder to be kind. We don’t know who’s struggling silently, and what we can only do is to be kind.” 

I smile at what he said, nodding my head in agreement. “Be kind.” 

Baekhyun finally gives up around two in the morning. I’m about to bid him good night but then he waits for me to get on my feet. “What—why?” I whine, not wanting to leave as I’m honestly having fun joking around with his friends and others. 

Baekhyun sighs my name, dropping his shoulders. “Please? No one here will drive you home; everyone has alcohol in their system—no, Jongdae, you’re too drunk to drive, just sleep here.” 

I groan loudly, giving him a glare. Nonetheless, I wave goodbye to everyone, promising that I’ll see them again soon.  

I sit on Baekhyun’s truck, rolling down the windows so the chilly night breeze will hit my face soothingly.  

“You okay?” 

I can only grunt in response, resting the side of my head on the window frame. 

“Sure? Or you’re too drunk to tell?” 

“Baekhyun—” I close my eyes before pursing my lips. “I only had two bottles because you won’t let have any as soon as you arrived. If I was drunk by two bottles, I’m sober enough by the window time you kept snatching all bottles in my hand.” 

He looks taken aback by my sudden outburst, and I do admit that I feel a little guilty about it. “H-hey, I’m sorry. I can make a U turn if you want to go back—sorry...” 

I gnaw my bottom lip, wanting to slap myself for overreacting to something not big of a deal. “No, it’s fine. Just keep driving.” 

He keeps driving alright. I’m in daze when I realize that it’s not the way back to Gran’s house, and we’ve been on the road for almost an hour—and that’s without traffic!  

From trees and the shallow sound of waves crashing to the shore, my eyes meet with bright lights and buildings—though nothing compared to the big city, but my heart couldn’t stop fluttering seeing such familiar sight. 

“Baekhyun, where—” 

“You said you wanted cheeseburger,” he simply said, not even letting me finish my question. “And this is the nearest one from the town.” 

And boy, did I wish to still use the alcohol as an excuse when he saw how red my face is, but then I remember how I mentioned that I sobered enough. Dumb. 

Fortunately, he doesn’t say anything. Just a subtle smirk on his face, and he shakes his head a little. 

Two cheeseburgers, ten pieces chicken nuggets, two large drinks and fries to share, we are seated on the back of his truck with the tailgates opened, in an empty parking under a starry night sky. 

“Wait—so, you’re telling me you attended an Ivy League in the city?” I ask him with wide eyes, unable to believe the information I heard about him. We are talking about life and stuff, and I finally convinced him to tell something he hasn’t told me before. 

Baekhyun casually takes a huge bite of his burger before nodding his head. He looks up to the sky for a few seconds before meeting my curious eyes. “Yeah... got a scholarship and stayed there for two years.” 

“Holy crap, so you’re really smart! Damn, I could barely pass a minor subject. What the heck, Baekhyun? Why did you stop?” 

He chuckles, flicking the tip of my nose with his finger. “Slow down, woman. You sound too excited.” 

“Of course, I am!” I huff, reminiscing about the time when I dreamt of attending an Ivy League, but my GPA didn’t cooperate. 

Baekhyun gives me a soft smile, eyes dancing around my facial features. “Is it the lighting here or you’re extra pretty today?” 

I must admit that it did make my heart go crazy, and the butterflies in my stomach dance, or whatever crap people call it. 

And it didn’t help when he chuckles huskily upon seeing my reaction. “I didn’t like it. It was the first time I had been away from my family for that long, and people were so different. Life was too busy, and the pressure of a job title right after graduation was insanely unrealistic.” 

I nod my head in agreement, totally understanding his sentiments, especially now I’ve lived in his town for a month. I saw, experienced, lived the life they have. Quiet, simple, and peaceful. 

Contentment.  

Contentment is the city will never have. 

“I was studying Psychology, and I was really interested in the subject. It was the environment I couldn’t keep up,” he continues, “now I’m twenty-four years old, living in his parents’ walkout basement.” 

“And you’re happy,” I smile at him, and it makes him stare at me, unblinking, he then mirrors my smile, though his was wider and the corner of his eyes crinkle. 

“That, I am.” he grins widely, and it makes my heart flutter seeing him like this. “I’m delighted you used and instead of but.” 

“Oh, of course,” I shrug, smiling more widely than I already am. I honestly didn’t think about that—it just came out naturally. “But hey, can I ask you something personal? And it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like telling me.” 

Baekhyun nods his head, turning his body to face me, his legs touching my outstretch limbs.  

“Why did you hate me so much the first time we met?”  

That seems to catch him off guard. He pulls his head back before pursing his lips. “Y-you sure Gran didn’t tell you? Or you just want me to put on spot?” 

I look at him weirdly before shaking my head. “No, I’m genuinely curious. You went apeshit when you barely know me. You were an ass—sorry. Anyway, Gran only told me it’s about something businessmen wanting to take the town.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, exhaling heavily. He takes the last bite of his food and crumples the wrapper before putting it aside. “Okay—it’s no secret in the town that Gran’s eldest son is a very successful businessman.” 

I gape at him, eyes getting wide. “I didn’t know that!” 

“Well, you’re not exactly from the town and—” he only stops talking when I glare at him. “Moving on, when I was still in the city, I met a girl—why are you looking at me like that?” 

I didn’t even realize I’m frowning until Baekhyun pointed it out. I instantly wipe my annoyed expression that automatically came out when he mentioned a girl. Since when did I become possessive? We’re not even together romantically. “What look?” 

Baekhyun looks at me skeptically, though he’s unable to hide that little smirk on his face that I’ve been wanting to slap off. 

“I met this girl—we’re not together anymore so calm down—” 

“I wasn’t even asking—” 

“You want me to continue or not?” he raises a brow in my direction, and I sigh in defeat.  

“Sorry—continue.” 

“So... I took her to the town to tour around, and of course, to meet my family. I thought it went well because you know, it’s normal for people to take pictures and document everything. However, I never thought that it would take a drastic turn when her short clips posted on the internet became viral and several investors immediately came to examine the area. And surprise, surprise! Gran’s eldest was one of them.” 

I’m listening to his every word carefully and when he mentioned how the town became viral, it came crashing to me as why it sounded familiar back in the train station at the city. I now remember passing by a short clip a couple years ago. 

“Gran’s sons are sort of estrange to her and her late husband. So, when he found out that his mother lives here, he thought he had better chance than other men in suit.” 

I nod my head, slowly absorbing much information in the middle of the night. “And I’m guessing Gran hated the idea?” 

“Hates it. She got angry at her son who didn’t contact them for years, and had the audacity to ask them to convince the people in town to sell their land to him. But more importantly, she cares for everyone in town. What will happen to locals if hotels and resorts are all around?” 

I did hear from Gran about what happened with her husband about a year ago, and now I’m connecting dots. “Poor Gran...” 

Baekhyun sighs, looking up in the sky. “Yeah... Gran and Pop-pop were everyone’s favorite grandparents in town. When Pop-pop passed, it took a toll on all of us. You met the youngest, Han, and he’s not really someone you can rely on, even when it comes to his parents. So, we promised Pop-pop that we’d take care of Gran then the next day, he’s gone.” 

My mouth curves down and I look at him with sadness in my eyes. I just can’t imagine what they’ve been through. “I’m so sorry...” 

But Baekhyun smiles at me, patting my cheek as an assurance. “It’s okay. And I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize as well. You didn’t deserve that. I was an ass, damn right.” 

“Well, forgiven since you bought me cheeseburger and chicken nuggets.” I giggle, raising the wrapped greasy burger in my hand.  

Baekhyun laughs as well before straightening his back. “And for your information, this is all me. I’m doing no favor to anyone.” he bumps his shoulder with mine and I bend my neck a little to meet his eyes.  

“What...?” I raise an eyebrow to him. 

He clears his throat before speaking, “Should we now talk about us?” 

Taking a bite in the middle of this kind of conversation is not really ideal. But in my defense, I didn’t know he was going to say that. My cheek protruded with the burger still in my mouth while I look at his eyes, unsure where this conversation would take us. 

“W-what about us?” 

His expression hardens, but it quickly vanished when he realizes I’m quite lost with what he’s going to say. “Gran’s animals will be overweight the next time you avoided me when I come over.” 

“Oh.” was all I could say. I drop my shoulders and sniff, looking ahead of me. “Don’t worry about it. There are times I could get extra sensitive—I’ll get over it.” 

“No, baby, I—” he lets out a deep trembling breath, sighing my name afterwards. “Sorry, that just came out.” 

I can’t do anything but to smile awkwardly, mumbling an, “It’s okay.” Because no one has ever called me that kind of endearment without intimate intercourse before. 

It’s weird... yet nice. 

“Okay. I—Gran stopped forcing me to help you when you bit my ear. She thought that it might get us both on each other’s bad side further. She made me apologize but that’s it. Hasn’t ask anything since then.” Baekhyun huffs out, asking me to look at him, and I did. “I just see you in a different light now. I don’t know when it started. Maybe when you started making jokes about your stupidity with riding a bicycle—or when I finally had the chance to get to know you better on Gran’s roof—minus the smoking.” 

I was about to hit him with my fist, but I’m so glad I didn’t, and chose to let him finish what he’s about to say. 

“What I’m saying is... you make me shy, edgy—those stuffs, and I’d blabber the idiotic thing I could think of. I’m sorry.” 

“I—uh...” there’s a lump in my throat that’s hindering me from responding to what he just said. Though, really, I’m just out of words. “Okay...” 

“Really—that’s it? Okay?” his face went blank, eyes getting droopy as ever. 

“What do you want me to say?” I counter, my voice gets higher. “I thought you like Jisoo. So, you know? I didn’t think about it that much.” Lies. But who’s letting him know? Obviously not me. 

“I didn’t say I like her—” 

“You were ogling at her, Baekhyun!” 

“I’m aware it was inappropriate, but she was wearing a low-cut shirt and flashing her cleavage on my face, okay? I’m sorry if you misunderstood it.” 

“Mind you, I offered to show you my boobs in exchange for some bike lessons and maintenance, but you were too prim back then.” I argue, crossing my arms across my chest, purposely lifting them up to be visibly in better shape. “But I guess Jisoo’s cleavage makes you shy and edgy.” 

“You—” Baekhyun groans, rubbing his face tiredly. “You’re so stubborn, aren’t you?” 

I shrug my shoulder, taking a bite of my burger... angrily. “I’ve been told. But thanks for the reminder.” 

Neither of us said a word for quite some time. We are just seated next to each other at the back of his truck while I finish the food because apparently, I’m too stubborn. What he didn’t know is that I can be stubborn and hungry. 

In all honesty, I do like Baekhyun. He makes me feel something I’ve never felt before. He makes everything around me brighter. He makes me see colors. He makes me realize that life can be beautiful. 

Especially now he admits that he initiated everything he has done for me without Gran’s presence. And it’s a lot to take... though in a nice way.  

However, I’m not going to deny the fact that I’m quite hesitant since I still have to go back home. I still have a year left in university. And I don’t know my career from there. I’m not even sure if my dad will take me in to work in his company, nonetheless, dropping out just like that is not part of my initial plan. 

If we ever, stating out a huge possibility, got together, in just a few weeks, we’d cater to a long-distance relationship that rarely works for other people. What are the odds it’d work for me... for us? 

And I believe coming out clean about the uncertainty must be verbalized to Baekhyun to be fair. 

“I still have a year left in university, Baekhyun,” I murmur, glancing at him at the corner of my eye and see that he’s looking at me intently. “I need to go back to the city before semester starts.” 

I see the small frown between his eyebrows as he absorbs my intention. “That’s it?” 

Now, it’s my turn to narrow my eyes to him, clenching my jaw as I face him properly. “What do you mean by that’s it? I’m not dropping out—” 

“Who said about dropping out?!” he cut me off, his voice got way out of control and can be considered as yell. He notices how I jolt on my seat, leaning my body away from his. He exhales through his mouth, calming himself before speaking again. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to shout. But can you hear me for a second? Because it looks like I’m the only one who’s willing to make us work.” 

I open my mouth to counter his words, but nothing comes out, coming to a realization that he’s right. I roll my eyes at him just to show him I’m not mad or something. I grumble, “Fine.” 

He smiles at me fondly, scooting closer to me. He snatches the food wrapper on my lap, putting it aside, before grabbing my hands. And I swear to God, my heart almost couldn’t take when he places his puckered lips to my knuckles, kissing them lightly repeatedly. 

This man really knows how to sweep me off my feet. 

“I like you, a lot.” he admits, smiling sheepishly and I don’t miss the shade of red on his cheeks. “It’s embarrassing how much I think of you in a day. I thought I was just worried about you because you’re not from around here. But then I started looking for you even if we were in the same room. You listen to my stories without judgement, you laugh at my jokes even when I know they’re not funny—I don’t know. It’s just... I like you, and it’s too early to say if it’s love and I don’t want to scare you, but I just want you to know, I’m willing to get there.” 

I didn’t know I was holding my breath until Baekhyun calls my name. I blink several times to snap out of it. “B-Baekhyun, I—” I swallow the lump in my throat when my voice cracks. 

“Before you say no,” he cuts me off again, smiling kindly. “I just want to let you know that I will never cheat on you even where you’re in the city and I’m here. I will make sure to give you peace of mind every day.” 

I look at him longingly, gnawing my bottom lip with my teeth. Unable to find the right word to say, or more likely, unable to come up with a decision to my dilemma. “That’s a huge thing to say, Baekhyun...” 

He sighs in relief when I finally said something, although it’s not a yes, but he just looks glad it was not a no. He grins widely, interlacing our fingers together and placing them on his lap. “It is. But that’s to prove my conclusion on how much I like you. I’m surprise as you are.” 

I finally let out a chuckle, hitting his chest with my fist, though with not much of force but he still grunts. “Anything else I should expect from you?” 

Baekhyun looks like he’s going to cry in relief when I said that, and I feel bad for acting so distant that it stresses him this much. He closes his eyes for a few seconds with a wide smile on his mouth before responding to my question. “Hmm... let me see. Well, I’m quite good in bed.” 

I know he meant it as a joke since that’s just how we always communicate, but he looks so surprised when I agreed in a heartbeat. “Okay, I’m sold.” 

“Wait—seriously?” 

I nod my head, grinning innocently at him, or at least I’m hoping it to be. “What can I say? I have needs.” 

“No, baby—” I thought he’s going to take back the endearment, but the butterflies in my stomach flutters when he doesn’t. “I mean—okay, that’s good to know, I’ll make sure to take care of you. But are you serious—you’re not playin’ with me? You’re saying yes?” 

“Yes, Baekhyun,” I thought my smile couldn’t get any wider, but it does. “I like you—though, I can’t say if I like you a lot as well, but—” 

He had to give me a death stare to make me shut up. I giggle, getting the courage to throw my arms around his neck, giving his cheek a smooch. “I like you a lot, Baekhyun.” 

When I pull my head back, still in his arms, we are inches apart, staring at each other’s eyes then to our lips. I can’t help but sigh when our mouths finally meet. I climb to his lap, hands on his shoulders, while he holds my waist.  

His lips are soft and warm. Like a hot towel after a shower during winter. Comforting. It almost tastes like hot cocoa on Christmas evening. Sweet and satisfying. 

We had to cut everything and pull away from each other when I felt something beneath me. Baekhyun looks embarrassed and uses my tongue as an excuse for his hard on. I laugh at him, getting off his lap but not before giving his mouth another kiss. 

He looks beyond surprised, yet excited, when I ask during our drive back, “Hey, can I stay over?” 

It’s my first time seeing where he stays. Since it’s a walkout basement, it has its own entrance a few steps down from the main ground. 

It’s tidy, except for the unfolded clothes on the armchair at the corner, and he has a typical twin-sized bed, and a few clutters on the wall shelves on the other side of the room. 

He asks for two minutes while he cleans up, though what he’s done is to just hide the clothes in his closet and smoothen out the bed sheet. 

Somewhere along my pun, “Are we going to fit in there?” referring to his bed while laughing makes me hot in an instant when he said, “I can top so it’d be fine.” 

I try to laugh it off, sitting at the edge of the mattress. “I only meant to sleep here, but you seems to have another idea in your head. I’m not sure if I like it.” 

With what he said a while ago, he has the audacity to blush, stammering with his words, “H-hey! You’re the one who shoved your tongue in my mouth. I thought—” 

I’m wheezing from laughing too much, holding my stomach as it starts hurting. I cough and catch my breath when I glance at his pouty face, watching me make fun of his conundrum. 

“I’m just kidding, come here,” I extend my arm, reaching out to him before flopping on the mattress. 

Baekhyun makes me feel loved, special, and cherish me as a woman as he kisses my body while peeling my clothes off my body. He never forgets my emotions while getting into his desires. 

I appreciate his time to set the mood by touching me like I want him to, tasting parts of me like a starving man. Then asking for consent before proceeding to enter once he secured protection. 

No one had bothered to ask me on my previous experiences. 

That night, I can consider it as my first time making love. 

My first time feeling loved. 

He kisses my mouth when he comes, then makes sure I’d reach my peak afterwards. I can’t remember the last time I felt sexually satisfied, but I definitely won’t forget this one. 

Our foreheads lean on each other as we bask in our warmth and presence. We kiss each other’s mouth, nose and cheeks, giggling with each peck. And my eyes close blissfully when Baekhyun bends his neck to kiss my forehead, leaving his lips there for a few seconds before sighing.  

I can feel his heartbeat on my chest when he does that. Whatever I’m feeling, he’s feeling it too. 

Baekhyun’s right. It’s too early to say it’s love, but same as him, I’m willing to get there. 

That night was the first of so many nights we’d spend together. 

No one can beat Gran’s reaction when she found out that me and Baekhyun are together-together. She said that she didn’t expect it since she saw how we fought, bicker, and threw nasty words at each other that it gotten to a point where it got physical—my fault, sorry. 

She gushed until the word came to almost everyone in town. I’m no longer Gran’s visitor as they once called me. I’m now Baekhyun’s girl. 

Baekhyun is probably the sweetest, at the same time, manliest man I’ve ever met. Okay, I’m exaggerating but I’m so proud to call him my boyfriend.  

It’s no news that I could say that I grew up without a man figure in my life even though I still have a dad, and I’m not really close with my older brother. And I’ve dated quite a few back in the city. 

But with Baekhyun... damn it’s different. It’s good different. 

Back in the city, it was only sex, alcohol, look cool together, sex, move on to different person, and repeat. 

I mentioned to him that he’s like my first real relationship, and it boosted his ego. I have no problem with it since Baekhyun might know how to piss me off, but he’s never crossed the line, and I can’t see him doing it.  

That’s the thing about him. He’s too respectful. At first, I was skeptical, thinking that he’d done something, and was just acting like that to prepare me for the worst. “Of course, I ought to treat you right. We’re together, aren’t we?” 

It’s shameful to say out loud, but I gave him head that night. 

Also, Baekhyun didn’t wait a week, or even a day, for me to meet his parents. It was awkward since we fell asleep the first night we got together in the basement and were awoken by his mother knocking on his door. I suggested waiting it out and I’d hide under his bed or closet, but he brushed me off, asking me to wear one of his oversized T-shirts before opening the door. 

His mom was cool about it, in fact, she even asked us to go upstairs to the main floor to have breakfast. There, I met his dad, who looked so happy his youngest son got laid. No word was spoken to say what happened; it was just that obvious, even Baekhyun’s older brother kept wiggling his eyebrows to us. 

Oh, of course, sex is great. He really proves he’s good in bed. The only struggle we had in the first week was with where to do it without any hindrance. Because apparently, “Baby, you’re adorable, but please—you’re such giggler.” 

I didn’t even get mad at him when he said that. Instead, I laughed even more, and he had to put his mouth on mine since we were at his place and his family was right above us.  

Since I’m quite ticklish, I had to learn to control my reaction when he’d run his hands on my bare body. That happened when he sneaked on Gran’s window on the second floor where I’m staying. I was about to sleep but felt the air mattress dipping beside me then an arm wrapped around my waist.  

Gran is a light sleeper, so I had to bite my lip and swallow the noise down my throat. Imagine the person who’s taking care of you inside their house caught you having sex in the mattress you both struggle to inflate. 

That'd be embarrassing. 

But most of all, my favorite moments with Baekhyun are when we’d just lie on bed, or his favorite hangout spot where the golden sunrise view is always spectacular. We’d be in each other’s arms, appreciating the comforting silence. 

In our clothes, yet intimate. 

Though, I’m not discrediting him for his ideas of dates. I’ve never been to sweet ones, so he makes sure he’d put his best effort, like picnics, walking on the shore with shoes in our hands while the sun sets in such beautiful collusion of red and yellow colors. Or if he doesn’t have work, we’d hang out on Gran’s roof to stargaze.  

We still bickered, yes, but it was nothing serious. Mostly, just to make fun of each other until one gets pouty and sulky. But that’s mostly me because I do like his affection when I’m pouty and sulky. 

Baekhyun is becoming my favorite person, and I’m not complaining even a bit. 

And not to forget there’s the simple, domestic kind. You know, just hanging out at each other’s place. Doing things normal people do. 

Mind you, I haven’t done the dishes, laundry nor folded clothes—or any house chore, in my entire life. That was until I arrived here. I must help Gran at her house because that’s the least I could do for someone who put roof under my head and food in my tummy. 

She did have a hard time teaching me basic things but there was nothing that could stop me from learning. Even if it means cuts, burns, and even bruises. Those were just small boo-boos and they healed in a few days. Now I have started enjoying doing the laundry or folding clothes with Gran’s old music playing in the background. 

Hence, when Baekhyun dropped by one late afternoon to inform me that he had work in the nearby town and wouldn’t be home until the morning, I decided to pay his place a visit.  

Right after dinner, I told Gran that I’d stay the night at Baekhyun’s, and she looked confused since she knew that he was out of town but let me go anyway. 

It was not the first time I’d be staying at his place even when he was not around. This usually occurs when he’d be working in the dock, and I’d wait for him in his basement. I already know where the spare key is, and let myself in. 

As expected, a pile of clothes was still sitting on the armchair in the corner of his room. He may be tidy in other things, but not when it came to the business after washing machine. I tied my hair in a ponytail and got to work.  

His mom even came down to check since she heard noises and thought it was someone else. She offered to help but I assured her I’d be fine. She looked at me fondly, telling me that I could go upstairs should I need anything. 

His clothes neatly folded in his closet, his bed sheet was nice and clean, and his floor was vacuumed and mopped. And I was spent. 

I never expected anything from him in return every time I’d do these kinds of things, but he just does.  

Sometimes it was a bouquet of flowers, or sometimes he’d take me out of town to eat the food I was craving. But my preferred is his simple kiss on a cheek and a, “Thank you, baby.” 

Orrr... occasionally, I’d prefer a kiss while sleeping in his bed as soon as he got back and cuddling through the morning. 

Baekhyun does the same. When he’s not working, he’d help me at Gran’s place. From simple chores to heavy ones. 

Just like today. It's Sunday and I told Gran that I will stay to help her clean the house. I still haven’t turned on my phone, so it feels almost magical when Baekhyun appears out of nowhere. Most especially now that the roof needs to be cleaned. 

The day was almost perfect until Han suddenly came in from the back door in the kitchen. I roll my eyes at him, and he gives me the same sass.  

When he found out I’ve been staying as a guest at his mother’s, he got agitated since Gran doesn’t even give him a room to stay, but she’s giving one to a stranger. Although Gran still feeds him when he’s around. A mother will always be a mother. Can’t relate, to be honest. 

I’m dusting the living room when Han decided that it was a good idea to rant to his mother. Well, I heard about how hates his older brother, yet wants to experience the kind of wealth the brother has. Gran doesn’t look bothered, nor pleased with the subject, but I don’t want to butt in especially it’s family affair. 

I go upstairs instead to let me ear rest for a while before I have to hear Han’s voice again. Walking inside the room I’m staying in, I peek out the window to see Baekhyun on a ladder leaning against the side of the house as he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter. 

“Hey there, baby boy,” I lean my arms on the windowsill and give him a playful suggestive look because I know how annoyed he gets with the pet name. 

He groans loudly and I can’t help but to laugh, “Stop with that weird crap, please!” 

“What do you want me to call you then? Daddy?” I raise a brow at him before squinting my eyes to annoy him even more. Kidding aside, I just got goosebumps upon saying that word. No, nuh uh. Will never ever repeat that, ever, again. 

“Ugh! Baby—” 

“Mom! They’re not cleaning, they’re just flirtin’!”  

I jump on my feet when Han’s loud voice and when I look over my shoulder, he’s standing there with a bowl of cereal that I bought with my own money.  

In the background, we heard Gran yelling, “Leave them alone!” 

I raise a brow to Han to piss him off and he threatens to hit me with a spoon. Baekhyun’s voice can be heard from outside the window while he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter. “Han, please don’t do that to my girlfriend.” 

I plastered a smug face to Han because, even though he’s almost double the size of Baekhyun, the latter is surprisingly an expert in some kind of martial arts that instantly flew over my head the second I heard it. Was it wushu? Taekwondo? Karate? I don’t know... oh! Hapkido! I honestly don’t know anything about it, but—yey! Supportive girlfriend here. 

Han scoffs before rolling his eyes. He then points the spoon to the boxes in the corner before walking out of the room, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just clean this up.” 

I truly want to say something back to him, but Baekhyun calls my name to calm me down, because he knows how much I get triggered when Han does this kind of shit. “Just leave the boxes there, baby. I’ll carry them down once I’m done here.” 

“What am I going to do then?”  

“Just stand there and look pretty for me,” he grins widely, the corner of his eyes crinkling in the process. Although I roll my eyes at him, I can’t hide the small smile on my lips that’s slowly spreading.  

I ignore him and walk towards the boxes that have been left untouched, thus dusty, since I got here. Baekhyun once told me that Gran and her husband moved here more than a decade ago from their hometown to live a quiet life. But being the good parents they were, they still brought their sons’ pictures and memorabilia of them. 

By the third box, I hold my breath since the surface is very dusty and I’ve been sneezing like crazy. And instead of helping me or anyone in the house, Han just sits in the living room while watching the television with his feet up on the table.  

As I’m about to approach the back door by the kitchen, the bottom of the box gives up and the contents of the box scattered on the floor. Fortunately, I hear no breaking of glass, so I internally sigh in relief before groaning out loud, crouching down to pick them up. 

“Need help back there?” I hear Han ask from the living room. 

“I mean, if you have a kind heart within you, why not?” I respond sarcastically that earns a hearty laugh from him. 

We start picking up the items and they’re mostly framed pictures and a few documents. The last time to be picked up is a picture frame facing the floor. My hand casually reaches out to it and even makes sure that the frame is still intact.  

In a split second, my facial expression drops, and I can feel how my heart starts thumping almost loudly in my chest when I flipped the frame in my hand. 

There is a photo of Gran and her husband with a young man in a graduation gown, seemingly fresh out of university, flashing a wide smile on his face for the camera.  

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Han interrupts my thoughts and I raise my head to look at him with wide eyes. “That’s my hyung. He’s not a ghost yet, but he’s dead to us.” 

I can’t find words to say nor get any of my muscles to move. However, I did feel how my bottom lip trembles uncontrollably, and my breath becomes ragged. With all the energy left in me, I close my eyes and breathe through my nose, holding it for few seconds before exhaling heavily—a technique Baekhyun taught me to calm myself down in case I feel like my thoughts are winning against me. 

“Oy—you okay?” I feel Han’s hand on my shoulder as he tries shaking me a little bit, and I nod my head a little bit. 

I croak, “Y-yeah...” 

Han looks hesitant, grabbing the frame out of my hands and settling it down on the counter, and does what he thinks is the best solution: call for his mother. “No, you’re not—Ma! C’mere! She’s not breathing!” 

Even with my condition, I still found the strength to glare at him as he can definitely see that I’m still breathing, though heavily—almost hyperventilating. 

Baekhyun obviously heard the commotion, and he arrives first, clumsily and almost tripped from how fast he ran. He pushes Han aside and holds my face in his hands. “Hey, baby... breathe, come on. Follow what I’m doing.” he starts breathing in pattern, showing the basic skill to live, slowly, so I’d be able to grasp. 

My mouth starts getting numb and my body gets a bit heavier as well as my eyelid, but my mind is very much conscious that I know how Gran gasps loudly when she gets in the kitchen, seeing me in perhaps limp state.  

“Hey—damn it!” Baekhyun shakes my body as he curses my name, trying to get my eyes open when they’re about to close. “Look at me, come on. Breathe, please—Han, get a paper bag or somethin’!” 

Even with my eyes getting blurry, I’m still able to see Han looking so confused and unmoving on his feet. “H-huh—what for?” 

“Just fuckin’ get it!” Baekhyun yells. And I think it’s the first time I’ve heard him cuss—well... except when we’re in bed, but that’s another story to tell. 

Han hastily looks for one and hands it to Baekhyun. The latter immediately places it around my mouth and instructs me to breathe as he counts the seven second rule. I lift my eyelid to look Baekhyun in the eye as I try to normalize my breathing and he smiles at me when he notices I’m following him, and my muscle slowly relaxing and the tension is slowly fading away. 

My hand finally raises to hold Baekhyun wrist that’s holding a paper bag on my mouth. I pull it away gently and he sighs in relief, pulling me in to kiss my cheek and wrapping his arms around my figure. I whisper an apology right to his ear and he just shakes his head, continuously caressing my back to give me much comfort I need. 

Han also exhales loudly, holding a hand on his chest. “Phew! You scared me back there, kid.” 

Gran also sighs in relief; her eyes are teary, and her hands clasp on her mouth, thanking heaven that I’m fine. 

I send them both an apologetic smile before taking another look at the picture on the counter as I peek over Baekhyun’s broad shoulders. 

He, the man in the picture, might looked younger but I know him very well. Those bright and hopeful eyes in the past have turned into dreadful pairs; the wide smile when he was young was now a scowl; his sun kissed skin had become pale and wrinkly. I’m bewildered that his once seemingly cheerful soul is now lifeless. 

I may add one more reason to probability as why our he prefers Kyungsoo more than me. He really did look like him when he was his age. 

It’s already evening, a few hours after the incident, and we are all seated in the living room. I’m at the end of the couch, coddled up in a blanket and leaning my head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, while Gran and Han sit on the armchair across from us. 

The picture frame now sits on the coffee table in the middle of the living room as I stare at it, while the three of them still have no idea what happened earlier, and what’s going on right now. 

“Dear?” Gran finally breaks the silence. I lift my head from the picture to look at her. She has the gentle smile she always wears, and my heart breaks when I’m starting to absorb all the details, I’ve gotten from the moment I arrived in this town up to now.  

What are the odds of this happening? For real? 

I put my feet down on the floor and raised my head from Baekhyun’s shoulder. I clutch the blanket on my lap so that my fingers start to turn white from how tight it is. 

“Gran,” I had to swallow the lump in my throat so that I wouldn’t cry by uttering only one word. Baekhyun places a hand on my back and that’s more than enough encouragement for me to continue. I point my index finger to the frame on the coffee table, “That—that man is your eldest son?” 

Before Gran can even open her mouth to answer, Han clicks his tongue impatiently, “What’s this all about?” 

I decided to ignore him, focusing on Gran who looks lost for the first time I met her. “Gran...” I bit my bottom lip, fighting back the tears that were threatening to roll down my face. “When you saw me at the train station... did you recognize who I was?” 

That makes Gran narrow her eyes as she recalls the day she approached me. She then shakes her head slowly. “No, dear. Your face was unfamiliar, and you really did look like a tourist as I remember.” 

I nod my head, acknowledging her answer, before stating my full name out loud, making the three of them confused as ever.  I extend my hand to reach out for the picture and shows it to her and Han.  

“And this man,” I sniff, pursing my lips before plastering a half-smile in Gran’s direction, “is my father.” 

The next morning, I’m awoken by the birds chirping outside the window and my head laid on Baekhyun lap while his fingers comb my hair. He’s sitting up on the air mattress and blankly looking ahead of him. 

“Hey,” I call out to him, and he instantly snaps out of his trance. “Did you sleep?” 

“Good morning,” he bends his upper body to give my lips a quick kiss before returning to his previous position. He shrugs his shoulders, chuckling weakly. “I tried but couldn’t.” 

Guilt crashes through me when he said that. Now I doubt any of them fell asleep. But I did. Like a log. Which should be surprising owing to the fact that two months ago, I needed alcohol to fall into slumber. 

Last night, Gran was speechless, and she told everyone to discuss things tomorrow since it had been a long day for all of us. Han was quite useless if you may ask me, though let’s spare him for now as he really looked beyond shock yesterday. 

Baekhyun had to call to say that he wouldn’t make it to work last night and stayed with me. Hence, I sleep like a baby. 

My mind is running thousand kilometers per hour again, and I almost jolted out of bed to look for the family picture taken when I was in middle school that’s been hidden inside my wallet just in case they might think I’m just playing with them. But someone knock on the door and Han’s voice speaks on the other side, “We’ll be downstairs.” 

Baekhyun and I quickly wash up before dragging ourselves back downstairs where we left off last night. However, contrary to my expectation, that Gran would still looks gloomy like last night, she’s back into her cheerful self, setting the table with pancakes, eggs and bacon—wait, is that Han in an apron? 

Gran then holds my hand and makes me sit, and I look at Baekhyun who looks dumbfounded as I am. He shrugs his shoulders before taking the seat right beside me.  

Remembering that I brought with me the photo I’ve been keeping in my wallet, I fish it out from the pocket of the shorts I’m wearing, handing it to Gran who freezes for a second before accepting the photo. 

Gran's eyes become teary as she smiles sadly, placing a hand to cover her mouth before walking towards Han to show him the photo. She walks back to hug my head on her chest, dropping a kiss on my hair. “I only dreamt of meeting my grandchild.” 

Han made fun of me throughout breakfast on how I looked ugly crying, and of course, the braces I had back in middle school. Gran is so happy that she wouldn’t let go of my hand and ask about Kyungsoo whom I was thin thread close on forgetting. 

“He sucks, Gran,” I casually respond, sipping my OJ. “But he’s smart, so you’ll be proud of him, nonetheless.” 

The three of them laugh out loud at what I said, and I can’t stop smiling from how my heart is full by this sight. Gran and Han asked questions about my childhood, but mostly it’s just Gran and Han would just butt in to get on my nerves. He may be my uncle, but it will never erase the bond we created at the first place to piss each other off. 

“Uh-oh,” Han suddenly said, looking at Baekhyun with a mischievous grin on his face. “What are you going to do, Byun?” 

Baekhyun’s expression instantly drops, and his eyes widen in realization that I can’t understand. “Shit.” 

“What?” I ask Baekhyun to look for an answer, but he looks like he’s contemplating his twenty-four years of living. Then I turn to Han when I get nothing from my boyfriend. “What the hell is happening?” 

However, Han just gives me an innocent smile, raising his mug with his pinky lifted in the air.  

“Gran?” I desperately ask the last person who might explain to me what Han meant.  

The poor lady shakes her head at those two men, before turning to me. “Baekhyun here got carried away when your father tried to bribe people to sell their land to him. The two of them may or may have not exchanged nasty words.” 

I gape at Baekhyun who’s ready to apologize but turns baffled when a grin slowly shows on my face. “Oh, shoot! It’s an early karma for my dad! Like, you probably know what’s going to happen and took an early revenge.” 

Baekhyun looks at me like another head grew on my neck, totally taken aback. “What...” 

Han’s laughter booms around the house that I swear the walls shook when he did. “No need for DNA test. You're really your father’s daughter.” 

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” I huff, scowling at him. 

“Byun, just a warning—run while you still can.” 

“HEY!” 

After all the commotion, Gran asks me to go to the living room to discuss something important. She specifically told Han and Baekhyun to leave us alone in the house since we both know the two have them have the tendency to eavesdrop.  

“My dear...” Gran reaches out for my hand, giving it a gentle pat. “I’m so glad you’re here. I still can’t believe the miracle that just happened. Your dad... he—” 

Gran shakes her head before sighing deeply. “You might notice that your Pop-pop and I were not present in your life. Your dad used to be a kind-hearted soul, gentle and loving son to us. But money took those traits of him away. I can count in my hands the time I’ve talked to your father since he moved out. He became estranged and even got married without us knowing. 

“Before you or your brother came, we visited him in the city from our hometown, in hopes that we could at least grab lunch with our son. What we didn’t expect was for him to be embarrassed at the sight of two old people from the countryside. He didn’t shame us publicly, but he did tell us to stop seeing him, especially in his work.” 

A tear escapes my eye before rolling down my cheek when I heard how my dad treated his own parents. I know I’m not close with him myself, but I can’t see myself sending old people who would travel hours just to see me. What the fuck, dad? 

“He did send money through his secretary,” Gran continues, smiling sadly, “saying that it should be enough and there’s no need for us to bother him in person. Your Pop-pop got really angry with your dad and threw his secretary out of the house when he came by to drop a check. 

“That’s why we moved here, to stay away from our eldest son’s radar. Sadly, he didn’t even bother to look for us. And I believe Baekhyun already told you about the story when he found out we live here.” 

Despite my sorrow, I purse my lips and close my eyes, ashamed that we’re caught in act gossiping about other people’s lives.  

Gran chuckles, leaning forward to caress my cheeks. “You have your father’s eyes, my dear. Don’t let the kindness in you be gone, okay? For your Gran?” 

I lean on her palm, smiling widely before nodding my head. “I won’t, I promise.” 

She nods in approval, dropping a quick peck on my forehead. “Now, I know your father threw you out of his house, but he’s still your father, dear. You’ve been away for two months. He’s worried.” 

My shoulders quickly drop, realizing that she’s right, at the same time, I’m scared that they’re not even looking for me, and probably celebrating that the nuisance of the family is out of the house. “I don’t know, Gran...” 

“My dear... your Pop-pop used to cry at night worrying about your dad, if he was eating well, or if he was safe having big names as his competitors.” Gran says, encouraging me to be a bigger person. “I’m not going to stop you if you want to stay here. You’re more than welcome, you know that. But for your beloved Pop-pop's sake, please at least let your dad know where you are and that you’re safe. He might’ve been cruel, but he’s still a father. But I will not deny how disappointed I am about the slap you mentioned. And if he doesn’t want you, as I’ve said, you have me... you have us here. And if you want to finish your studies, I’ll help you.” 

I think about it for a few seconds, coming to realization that Gran’s word makes sense. I let him down and he doesn’t want to see me, he made that clear, it won’t hurt if I let him know that I accidentally travelled five hours away from the city, meeting my paternal grandmother who turns out to be the sweetest and kindest soul that made my inner child feel loved and cared for. 

I know I said before that no matter what happens, I will still finish my undergrad in the city. But do I really want to go back to the city? If you’d ask me two months ago, or even a month ago, I’d answer yes in a heartbeat, but now... I don’t know anymore. 

Gran is here. She’s old, and I truly want to be with her, take care of her. I’m being realistic when I think about the years she only has left. And I want to make up for the years my dad, her son, wasn’t around to be spend time with them. Gran and Pop-pop's children were too busy growing up that they didn’t realize how their parents are growing old too... and now Pop-pop's gone. I want to be there for Gran. 

And Baekhyun. The person who taught me that love can be golden, and not black and white.  

We might have had a bad start, but for the short time we’ve been together, he made me feel something I’ve never felt before. He listens to my thoughts, understands my sentiments, and has never judged my past. He makes sure that I won’t feel alone in this world anymore by his words and actions. “You have me—you will always have me. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I will always be by your side.” 

When night comes, I’m left alone in the room I’ve been using for a little over two months now. I finally have my phone that’s been left untouched since then. The charger is plugged as I gather courage before holding the power button. 

When the familiar logo on the screen lights up, my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, and when I confirm my pin on the lock screen, my hands start to get clammy. I set the phone down and watch the number of messages coming in as minutes go by. 

Some of them are from my former friends in university that I don’t bother to read the preview and scroll down further on my inbox. Most of the messages are from Kyungsoo, asking my whereabouts, spamming me with concern questions, frantically searching for me since none of his friends or my so-called friends don’t have any idea nor have seen me since I left home. He mentioned in his messages repeatedly: Where are you? / Do you need money? / I’ll send you money if you need it. / Mom and dad are worried sick. / Call me, please. 

But a particular message makes me cry in an instant as soon as I see whom it was from.  

I hope you’re safe and eating well. Dad | Received 11:07 PM 

I’m sorry. Please come home. Dad | Received 5:06 AM 

Gran is right. No matter what, he’s still a father. My thumb hovers the call icon on the upper right corner of the screen, closing my eyes and swiping left instead, making the screen go back to list of messages and tap the one with my brother’s name on it. 

It rings three times before I heard his voice on the other line. “What the fu—where are you? Please tell me you’re still alive.” 

“You’re smart and dumb at the same time. How can I make a call if I’m dead?” I chuckle, though shakily as I couldn’t stop sobbing after hearing Kyungsoo’s voice for a long time. “I—I’m okay... I’m sorry for making you all worry.” 

“Are you still in the country?” 

I nod my head then remember that he can’t see me. “I am.” And I had to stop myself from saying: I only had a hundred bucks when dad threw me out. What country can I afford? Republic of Poverty? Thank goodness I realize that it’s inappropriate to get sassy with him at this moment. 

I heard rustling of sheets from his line and I’m guessing he’s getting out of bed. “Where are you? I’ll come get you.” 

“I—” I can’t stop choking a sob, leaning the side of my head on my palm as I cry. “I don’t want to go back, Kyungsoo.” 

“Huh—what?! Wait, let me get dad and mom.” Then followed loud steps he takes as he strides to where our parents are. There was a commotion on their side, and I heard my mom shrieking, “Oh, my God!” 

“Sweetheart?” It’s my dad’s voice, and I haven’t heard him call me any endearment since elementary. “A-are you okay? Please tell me you’re somewhere safe...” 

I snivel, wiping my tear-soaked face with the hem of my shirt. “I’m okay... I’m okay—I’m sorry, dad. I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey—shh... it’s okay.” My dad hushes on the other line, and my mom’s crying can be heard in the background as well, chanting a very soft, “Where is she? Where’s my baby?” 

“Tell me where you are, sweetheart. I’ll come get you.” And I heard Kyungsoo saying that he’ll come too. “We’ll come get you. We’ll be okay.” 

“I—” I take a deep trembling breath before continuing, reminding myself what Gran told me. “I’m here at Gran’s.” 

There’s a pause on the line before my dad asks, “Where?” 

“I’m here at your mother’s, dad. Gran. She’s been taking care of me for the past two months. It’s a long story, but we just found out recently that we’re related.” 

“You—you’re at my mother’s place?” 

“Yes,” I answer firmly, deciding to let him know about my plan. “And I want to stay here with her.” 

This time, it took him almost a minute to answer. I’m biting my nails in anticipation about what he’s going to say, however, all I know is my decision is final. 

“Go get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.” 

The next morning, when my dad said we’d talk, I thought that another call would come in, or I would have to call them back. However, when Han came knocking at Gran’s front door during breakfast to inform us that he’s here along with my mom and Kyungsoo, I wanted to hide somewhere, realizing that I’m not ready to see them as I was expecting myself to be. 

I’m engulfed in a hug by my mom as soon as she comes in the door, and my dad following behind her. He looks like he’s fighting back tears, pursing his lips while he raises his hand to pat my head.  

However, his demeanor fails him when Gran walking in the entrance of her house, smiling sadly at his son, my dad, who instantly breaks in tears before walking towards his mother for a hug. I lost count of how many times he apologized to Gran, and when he pulls away, he says, “Thank you for taking care of my daughter.” 

Having no physical affection for my brother growing up, I stand in front of him awkwardly with a twisted face. “Do we need to hug as well?” 

Kyungsoo scoffs, shaking his head with the corner of his mouth curve up in a small smile. “You fucking moron—” he pulls me to him, wrapping his arm tightly around my body. “I was so worried about you. I’m so sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have said those words when I didn’t mean it.” 

I return his hug, burying my face on his shoulder as I cry. “I’m sorry too. And thank you for offering to send me money, I really appreciate it.” 

He laughs out loud as he pulls away, giving the side of my head a playful smack. “From all of the things I texted you, that was the only thing you remember.” 

I grin widely, “Of course.” 

There was a long catch up with the family, more specifically Gran and his two sons. My dad and Han finally sat down and talked by themselves in the living room, while my mom and Gran chatted in the living room. 

I brought Kyungsoo to the barn behind the house, letting him meet my fellas for the past two months and I can’t help but smile that he is enjoying feeding them. Never in my life had I imagined I’d see my brother carrying a bucket of chicken feed while throwing them on the ground with his bare hand. 

I was smiling while I watch Kyungsoo do the things he’s unfamiliar with when I’m suddenly lifted from the ground and spined twice. The strong grip around my waist is too familiar for me not to know who it is, and to think that there’s only one person who’s been doing this to me. 

“Good morning, baby,” before I can even react, Baekhyun places his mouth on mine for a chaste kiss. And if it isn’t for the burning gaze at the back of my head, I’ll return his kiss with the same fondness.  

And I guess Baekhyun realizes that because he pulls away with a scowl. I raise my brows to him, silently telling him about Kyungsoo behind me. Fortunately, he got the message, and his eyes followed where I’m referring to.  

“Oh, hi there,” Baekhyun casually greets Kyungsoo with a nod of his head. He then turns to me, “Gran’s guest?” 

“Uh...” I peek over my shoulder just to see Kyungsoo’s squinting his eyes on me. He knew what I’ve been doing in the city, and words won’t be enough to explain how much he hates it and rats on me every single time. Though, I’m praying that he’s not seeing Baekhyun in a different light and thinks that he’s a one-time thing while I’m here in this town.  

Then I turn to Baekhyun with an awkward smile, “Yes...? Some sort, but he’s also my older brother.” 

I watch how my boyfriend’s face turns into horror, facing Kyungsoo with wide eyes. I haven’t told him about the phone call since he had work last night and stayed the night at their house since his mom needed him for something. 

“My parents are also inside the house—but hey!” I try to break the tension with a laugh, clapping my hands in the process, “I’d like you to meet Kyungsoo, he’s my older brother. Kyungsoo, this is Baekhyun, my boyfriend.” 

Kyungsoo looks at me weirdly, like he’s not expecting me to say the word: boyfriend. And I roll my eyes at him, nudging my brows to Baekhyun’s directly to tell: Yes, he’s my boyfriend. Shake his hand or I’ll break yours. 

Fortunately, they did introduce themselves in a civil manner. Although my worry leaned towards my brother who’s been up my butt since we were kids, however, Baekhyun must really have charm over people, and they look like they are having a decent conversation. 

When my dad and Baekhyun faced each other after their infamous heated argument back then, I thought I was going to pee my pants. Dad didn’t look so happy that I’m dating Baekhyun, but my mom did look surprised yet happy that I settled into a real relationship with someone. She got too excited and babbled, “Are you guys thinking about marriage?” 

And the horror on all our faces, especially my dad who’s about to burst, but I’m grateful he didn’t say any insult to the person I care about romantically.  

Han nudges my dad’s arm with his elbow, and I still can’t believe that the two of them are on talking terms again after the story I’ve heard here and there. “Hey, hyung, I know you don’t trust my judgement, but I can vouch for Byun right here. He’s a good guy and I never see him hurting your daughter. The opposite actually. He’s been taking care of her from morning to night since day one.” 

I send Han a grateful smile, and I glance at Baekhyun to see he’s doing the same. Han may be a jerk at times, likes getting on our nerves, but I’m really, really glad he appreciates and doesn’t turn blind eye at Baekhyun’s effort.  

Gran nods her head in agreement, “Yes, Baekhyun here never left her side even though they didn’t get along at first.” 

I look at Gran with huge eyes, and she smiles at me innocently. She could’ve left the last part out. Seriously. 

“Sir, may I tell you something?” Baekhyun chimes in and all attention turns to him. My leg bounces anxiously while I wait for his next words. “I’m in love with your daughter, and I respect your opinion as her father. But I will still stand with what I’ve said two years ago.” 

Han closes his eyes, palming his face. “You could’ve stopped with you respect him as your girlfriend’s father, you fuckin’ idiot.” 

I peek over my lashes to see Baekhyun’s expression. I’ve never seen him so serious, firm and... he kind of looks hot. What the hell am I thinking?  

But wait! Did he just say he’s in love with me? Wait—what?! My eyes that are ogling at him go wide as saucer and a squeal threatens to escape my throat. 

“You don’t have to worry,” my dad finally speaks, having the same expression as Baekhyun. “I will not go stand between you and my daughter.” 

And I almost laugh out loud when all of us sigh in relief, even Kyungsoo looks like a ton of weights have been lifted off his shoulder. 

“But you, young lady,” he continues, pointing a finger to my direction. “I understand that you found someone here, but is that enough reason you don’t want to go back and finish your degree?” 

“Huh? What—you’re not dropping out!” And now it’s my turn to get the attention. I jut my bottom lip to Baekhyun who looks visibly upset. 

“Okay! Who wants to help me make lunch—I think everyone. Come with me to the kitchen!” Gran cuts the tension between us, and all of them immediately stand up, except for my brother who looks interested in the conversation that’s about to happen. If it’s not for our mom who had to pull him by his arm forcefully. 

Baekhyun opens his mouth, but I stop him before he can say anything. “Okay—first of all, I want to stay here with Gran. I’m not dropping out because of you.” 

He scoffs, running his fingers through his hair. A habit of his when he’s annoyed. “You’re not a good liar, you know?” 

I open and close my mouth several times before settling with a sigh, defeated. “Okay, you’re right. Gran’s part of it though. So, don’t get full of yourself.” 

“Baby—” he groans, ruffling his hair this time, and he sounds so frustrated. “This is such a bad timing to say, but I love you. I really love you, that means I want the best for you.” 

I whimper when I finally hear the three words no one has ever told me. “Baekhyun, I—” I inhaled sharply, “I love you too. And you are part of the reason why I don’t want to leave this town. I now don’t know how not to be with you. Please...” 

He had to close his eyes when look at him with tears running down my face. “Please don’t cry.” 

“You dropped out of college and turns out just fine, why can’t I—” 

“No, I did not turn out just that,” he grits his teeth and realizes how strong his reaction was, so he reaches out for my hands and holds them. “I—I have to juggle several jobs a day to make ends meet. I may be fine with it but for you, my love, I want nothing but the best.” 

“But—” 

“I know you’re capable, I’ve seen you since you arrived here. You’re the one who said before you don’t want to drop out, and I’m asking you to honor your words,” he drops a kiss to my knuckles then on the corner of my mouth. “And I’m not breaking up with you if that’s what you’re assuming. I’ll always be here, I told you that. Just one year. If you still want to be here, then I will not stop you. And if you decide that you’ll stay in the city, and God forbid, with a new hot guy, then I’ll support you.” 

I chuckle at the last part of his sentence, “But you’ll cry if that happens, right?” 

“I’ll cry, drink until I vomit, and ogle at someone’s cleavage.”  

“Hey!” I smack his chest with my fist, and he laughs, pulling me to his chest before wrapping his arms around my body, kissing my temple afterwards.  

“So, one year?” 

I contemplate for almost a minute, before pulling away a little just to look at him in the eyes. “We’ll still see each other, right?” 

Baekhyun nods his head, displaying a gentle smile on his face. “If time permits, I’ll go to you. And if you have nothing going on, you can come here. We can also Facetime every day if you want.” 

I try to say something funny about Facetiming every day but realizing that I won’t be physically with him every day saddens me. Baekhyun’s been my light and I’ll be stepping out to the world again without him this time. It scares me, but for him, I’ll do it. 

I cried until nighttime that day. My family left me alone with him, knowing that we’d be separated in a few days. He held me close and made love until the soft rays of light peeked through the windows. Keeping our mouths on each other while chanting our love to one another. 

“I love you.” We said to each other with a last kiss for a while. 

It’s different now. 

My life has turned a hundred and eighty degrees since I came back to the city. I can’t remember the last time I drank alcohol or the last time I lit up a cigarette. 

I’ve been eating dinner with my parents and brother, telling each other’s day and just catching up, or ranting if someone’s day had been difficult.  

I also got part-time jobs here and there, earning my own money instead of being too reliant on my dad’s credit card. I don’t even use it anymore. I’ve also been hanging out around people who make me a good person and forgetting the people whom I used to know. 

Coming out clean to my family about my struggle with my thoughts, I also started going to therapy and they’re supportive of it... of me.  

And yes, you might wonder where he is. Well, you see— 

I’m just kidding. Baekhyun and I are doing great. He’s been visiting at least twice a month, and I go to visit the town when I have a long weekend. Though our time together is short unlike before, we always make the best out of it. You name it, dates, sleeping in, or you know, it’s me we’re talking about so sex will never leave the conversation when it comes to our relationship. 

Gran also visits, specifically on special occasions and holidays. The three of them travelled to the city for my birthday, and it’s going to be my favorite for a long time.  

When Christmas came, Kyungsoo and I went to visit the town since our parents had made prior arrangements months ago, hence they were unable to cancel. We decorated the Christmas tree and received allowance from Gran and our uncle, Han. 

We’ve come to an agreement that it was the most fun Christmas we had in our entire life. 

Time flies so fast that I didn’t realize graduation was approaching right around the corner. My dad sat me down to discuss my decision and assured me that whatever it might be, he’d support me. 

I told him that it didn’t change. He smiled and told me that he was expecting it. He then proceeded to discuss his plan to help. He said that I could reject his offer, but he’d be happy if I accepted it. 

I immediately got into a call with Gran, telling him about Dad’s plan to invest in Agriculture in the town instead of building hotels and resorts. Gran asked me about my thoughts on it, and I told her that it could help locals get more sources of income, and the focus would be on them. 

Gran sounded so happy and agreed. I didn’t understand why she kept thanking me, but when she said, “You changed everything for the better,” I bawled my eyes out. 

After graduation, I told Baekhyun that I’d be staying in the city for a week to think. You know... because it wouldn’t be me if I’d boringly tell him I’d stay for good in town. 

I almost told him that when he looked visibly sad during our daily Facetime, but I’m glad I held my ground. 

It was only five in the morning when I arrived. I drop my things at Gran’s and hop on my cruise bicycle to his basement, my face getting hit by the once unfamiliar but now loved cold breeze when the sun hasn’t risen yet. 

With the spare key in my pocket that he had given me, I open the door and see his silhouette sleeping soundly in his twin-sized bed. I remove my shoes before closing the door behind me. I slowly walk to the other side of the bed, trying not to wake him up as I lift the blanket and sneak beside him... Baekhyun. 

But my efforts went in vain when he groaned and lifted his head. His eyes look droopy as he stares at me confusedly. “Love?” 

I grin at him, leaning to kiss his lips. “I’m home.” 

The surprised look on his face makes the dimmed basement brighter. He hugs me tightly and kisses parts of my face repeatedly. “Welcome home, my love.” 

Yes, home... 

This is my home now. He is my home. 

And it’s brighter now. 

[kate-komics]

Scars of the Protector

A (very) short story about how Wrecker got his scars.

This started as a warm up drawing then morphed into this. I'm just in a very Bad Batch mood lately. I've always been curious about Wrecker's scars. I had a dialogue going on in my head what drawing so I thought I'd practice a little writing too! Let me know what you think! I'm always very nervous to share my writing because I have no idea if it's any good 😅 so any constructive criticism is welcome!

Star Wars- The Bad Batch

Word Count: 660

Warnings: Angsty as hell, vague descriptions of battle, vague descriptions of panicking

Scars of the Protector

His hulking form was barely contained in the Bacta tank. The medics seemed doubtful he’d even fit. For the first time in his life, he looked small. Over a day now he floated in the salty healing water, motionless. His brothers watched on in suspense as the hours sluggishly rolled on. If they got him here sooner he’d already be healed and there wouldn’t be scarring like the medics predicted. He’d still have two working eyes and hearing in his left ear. If they actually worked as a team this wouldn’t have happened.

Hunter was always their unquestioned leader, but Wrecker was the protector. Despite his gentle nature, he knew how the regs saw him. A threat. A brute. He took on the role with great pride, always willing to step up. Always willing to fight the battles for his brothers. 

This is our fault.

The unspoken words made the air in the small sterile room heavy. There was no point in saying it out loud, they all knew. The guilt was so evident on their faces. They all panicked and now their brother was paying the price.

From the moment they were born, they were told they were special. Different in a good way. It made them better than the rest. The perfect soldiers. Out there, it made them cocky.

It was their first mission. A battlefield they’d trained for and dreamed about their entire lives. Finally fighting the war they existed for. It should have been second nature, and in a way it was. In the beginning, they flowed with the action flawlessly. The commands and formations drilled into their heads. Was it really this easy? It was, until their numbers started to dwindle. They were forced into a corner in the heat of battle.

After gurgling hours of fighting they were the only ones in the squadron left, surrounded in the rubble with no way out. How could it have gotten this bad? They were better than this, weren’t they? Instead, the prodigy Bad Batch had been reduced to cowering children in the bodies of men. They’d ceased firing. The march of the remaining droids was deafening. They’d all froze, fear gripping their quivering limbs. All of them, except for him. 

Their strongest brother. The explosives expert still had something left to save them. He gathered his final handful of thermal detonators and armed them all quickly. It was more than enough to take care of what clankers were left. He removes his helmet to get a better aim before tossing the charges over their rubble barricade.  

He turned to smile down at his brothers, as he had so many times before, to assure them it was going to be okay now. He’d protected them like he always had. They were safe again. Before he could speak, a single detonator was returned, Wrecker taking nearly all of the blow.  

The battle was won. Medics took hours to arrive.

Most men would be dead, but then again he wasn’t most men. A bred killing machine. A freak. Their brother. And now the only one to wear the evidence of the horrors they’d seen on his face. Something to remind them how they failed him that day, and a quiet promise they’d never let it happen again. They’d all make sure of it. 

They knew he wouldn’t be angry when he woke up. He was never angry. Still, they were afraid of what had changed in him. Would this be the same brother they knew? Would he still smile and laugh the way he always did? Could he even still do that?

Only time and healing will tell, and they stay by his side for all of it.

They all drift in and out of sleep in the medical bay, but none of them ever notice the small eyes peering around the corner. A vigilante gaze, like theirs, that also makes sure her brother would be okay.