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wooahaes · 1 year ago

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svt - holding them

pairing: non-idol!svt x gn!reader

prompt: holding them :)

genre: honestly these are probably mostly hurt/comfort but theres some fluff in here i swear.

warnings: mentions of various stressful situations. comfort for a lot of these. mentioned injury in chan's. mentioned fight + seungkwan being pissed during his (not directed at reader at all). introvert!reader in wonwoo's. alcohol mention in mingyu's. food mentions, often in a vague sense throughout (just mentions of meals--although seokmin's mentions cupcakes for puppies).

daisy's notes: its cozy comfort hours.

choi seungcheol

seungcheol would sometimes just melt into you whenever you held him. you always took it as a sign that he trusted you wholeheartedly, and he meant it in that way and a sign that he loved you with everything that he was.

sometimes he'd be saddled with the brunt of the work in his department, and typically it meant he'd stress over making sure everything was done right. with the addition of a new intern (vernon--you'd met him once when you dropped by to get seungcheol lunch when he was too busy to leave, and he seemed like a nice enough guy), this stress seemed to be two-fold this time around. he'd work later, always telling you to go on and eat dinner without him. he'd always promise that this would be over soon, too: this was one of their busier periods. of course, you knew this by now--you'd been with seungcheol long enough to understand his work--but the honesty was always appreciated.

seungcheol had come home while you were making a cup of tea before bed, and quietly shuffled over to you. without saying anything, he'd already slipped his arms underneath yours to hug you around your chest. your arms curled around his shoulders, and you pulled him in, letting him melt into you again. secure in your arms, he let out a long sigh, face burying into your shoulder--and, for just a moment, you thought he might collapse right then and there. he just stayed there for a few silent minutes longer, before he let go of you, drawing back to look at your face.

you nodded toward your cup of tea. "do you want one?"

and he nodded, already leaning into plant a peck against your lips. "i love you," he mumbled, fully pulling away. you watched the quiet way he disappeared down the hall, the sound of the bedroom door opening a second later.

you'd hold him against once the two of you had finished your tea, and you'd play with his hair the way he liked while he vented whatever frustrations he needed to vent. you always liked holding your love normally, but this?

this felt special. and if he needed you to be a safe haven for him, you were glad to return the favor he always granted you the moment you needed it.

yoon jeonghan

jeonghan always knew that he just had to ask for you to hold him for you to do it. that was why he almost never did: not outright, at least. he'd merely slither his way into your arms, and respond to your soft 'happy?' with a blissful sigh and a 'very.' he liked being held by you sometimes. he knew you found this sense of security in his arms, and he was always happy to say that he found the same with you. curling up in your arms felt like he was home again.

so the first place he wanted to be after exiting his plane was home. as much as he could enjoy getting to see places abroad, he always wished he could bring you along with him. it'd mean that he wouldn't have to share a room with joshua (who he was perfectly fine with: there were few others he'd be so happy to share a room with), and that he could come back from the days of being stuck with other people to see your lovely face before he took you out for sightseeing and dinner. instead he'd just have to do these dates with joshua, always sending you teasing messages about how he was enjoying his time with his 'work boyfriend' (you'd coined it forever ago to tease him, and joshua had found it amusing enough that the two of you jokingly called each other jeonghan's 'other partner'). now he just needed to go through the motions to get home. get his luggage, get a cab, climb the stairs because the elevator was out...

he'd eventually opened the bedroom door to see you asleep. of course you would be: it was late and he told you to not wait up for him due to flight delays. he pulled at his tie, already going through the rest of the motions: suit off (get dry-cleaned later--too tired to care about fucking it up), clothes changed, teeth brushed... collapse into bed next to you.

you'd woken up, jostled by the sudden movement as your sleepy eyes found his in the dark. wordlessly, you opened your arms up to him, and he immediately moved in. welcome home. he pressed kisses against your neck and cheeks, making up for those lost few days for a moment.

"missed you," he mumbled against your skin.

you giggled as you held him tighter. "missed you, too, hannie."

joshua hong

joshua was never afraid to ask you to hold him. tonight was no different.

sometimes it was driven on by that need for physical comfort, but not always. sometimes it would be nights like this: you'd be curled up next to him in bed, talking aimlessly with him about your day since the two of you had barely spoken past a quick meal together before you were getting ready for bed. he'd been drained from work, you had been, too... that left a lot of talk for that melting space between waking and sleep.

"honey?" his eyes found yours in the low light, and you watched the way he stretched an arm back to place his phone back onto the nightstand. "can you just... hold me tonight?"

you obliged with ease. he settled in, shutting his eyes as his arms wrapped around you and squeezed you for just a second--a little 'i love you' without words.

"you can keep talking," he said after a moment. "i'm still listening, i promise."

he relaxed against you as you reached up, playing with his hair as you continued to talk about office drama. nothing too major, thankfully--you were just ready for it to be over and to be coming home at a normal time again. at least the extra pay was nice.

joshua could hear your heart beating. for a moment, he stopped listening to office drama and focused entirely on that. everything would be fine. another long day was just that: a day he managed to get through. everything would be okay if he made it right here, back in your arms and listening to you talk about things that mattered now but might not in a week (that was life, though, wasn't it? a series of moments of caring, even if those moments weren't important in the long run). he played with the hem of your shirt, trying to figure out who you were talking about now.

"hey?" he says quietly. "i love you."

for a moment, you paused. and then he heard you chuckle. "i love you, too, honey."

yeah... things would always be okay if he heard you say that.

wen junhui

jun had settled into your arms maybe twenty minutes ago, and he'd yet to say a word. at this point, you thought he might purr if you kept playing with his hair.

most nights, jun liked holding you. hell, most days jun liked to hold you. he was this soft lovable guy who often found a way to hold you regardless of where the two of you were. in a store? he'd wrap his arms around you from behind, looking at whatever you were looking at (even if you were comparing tomatoes or something). you were cooking because it was your night to cook? well, fine, jun wouldn't help you because you refused it... so he'd simple settle in, arms wrapped around you as he watched you cook. and he'd always pull you into his arms when the two of you settled in to sleep for the night, planting a happy kiss against your neck before snuggling in tight. he was, simply put, a snuggly man.

and you knew that something about his day must have been harder than usual, because he'd settled into your arms first and said nothing. he merely shut his eyes, and held onto you, head resting on your chest while he listened to your heartbeat. you'd seen the way his lips quirked a little when you reached a hand up, playing with his hair as you continued to read a e-book off of your phone. he would talk to you when he was ready to: you knew him well enough.

when you stopped playing with his hair, he looked up. you met his gaze, "you okay?"

he nodded, settling back in. "just missed you today."

and immediately you swore your heart somehow shattered and was put back together within seconds. you sighed. "i thought something was wrong, you goof."

he giggled. "you did? you're so sweet," he planted a tiny peck against your neck. "thank you for worrying, honey."

"yeah, yeah..." you pressed a kiss against the side of his head. "love you, too, you dork."

kwon soonyoung

soonyoung had maybe the worst day of his entire life ever.

he had plans! today was supposed to go well! he didn't have to work, and he was going to meet up with some friends and, y'know, do friend stuff. there was an amusement park that they'd been wanting to go to, and soonyoung had hyped himself up for it... except seungcheol ended up sick (something he'd warned about the night before--something about his partner catching something), and had to drop out. and that had seemed to set off a chain of events. seungkwan ended up having to work because one of his coworkers (the young college kid, seungkwan had said with scorn) called in sick at the last minute (seungkwan said he heard giggling on the other end of the phone--that fucker was absolutely not sick and that fake cough spoke volumes), jeonghan ended up needing to go see his partner about some family issue, jihoon... well. jihoon didn't do anything except point out the weather.

but jihoon had still offered to go out, maybe get lunch with anyone interested in still going. which is why soonyoung was now completely soaked since the two got lunch and parted ways before he was immediately caught in a downpour. plus lunch hadn't even been that good (jihoon's was--he'd let him steal a bite and soonyoung had just powered through his own crummy meal). today was supposed to be fun and now he was standing inside the front door to his apartment, soaked to the bone.

he shut his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before calling out for you. after a minute, you'd come into the room, stopping before immediately turning on your heel to leave. he could hear the bathroom door open, and then the water being started up. he barely saw your face again before you'd thrown a towel over his head, already working to try and dry him off a little.

"baby, why didn't you take your umbrella?"

because it broke. again: worst day of his life, probably. but soonyoung listened to you when you told him to go take a warm shower, that you'd get him some clean clothes and maybe make soup while he was in there. he'd told you not to worry about soup right now.

"can you just... hold me when i get out?"

you agreed easily enough. and when he left the shower, getting dressed again, he found you in the bedroom, curled up and waiting for him. within minutes, he had folded himself into your arms, holding on as he buried his face in your shoulder. you smelled like his cologne, and yet it seemed to comfort him in a weird way. like it was this little reminder that you were here for him still, even after everything went wrong for a while.

today might have been awful... but things felt right now that you were holding him.

jeon wonwoo

wonwoo knew the routine for post-socialization nights. nightly routine (skincare, changing into comfy clothes), and then he would load up whatever game the two of you were going to play to unwind while you scrounged around for snacks. on rarer nights, wonwoo would be the one who would pull together an assortment of snacks--usually because he'd be too tired to game, but would be happy to keep you company. tonight was one of those nights, where wonwoo listened as you loaded up your game on the PS4. he heard the telltale gentle piano opening to the game (who knew such a silly concept like mixing disney with final fantasy could make a game so impactful? wonwoo liked watching you play, though: he knew how important it was to you, and he saw it as a way of learning more about you), and he found himself smiling a little. he knew you well.

when he returned to the couch, you'd already gathered up a few blankets and pillows so the two of you could get fully comfy. these were the perks of dating a fellow introvert, in wonwoo's opinion: the two of you had decided on some sort of "decomposing" ritual for nights like these. when the two of you were just dating, it was usually ice cream or coffee or a nice walk together before parting ways. later it became playing video games online with one another, and now it was playing them together and cuddling.

with snacks in hand, wonwoo sat down next to you, watching as you curled up at one end of the couch. without saying anything, all you had to do was glance at him before you opened yourself up so that he could lay in your arms. you'd hold the controller out in front of him, adjusting your position as needed so that you could comfortably play (you'd left off somewhere in the aladdin-based world). he would offer up food to you, and sometimes you'd accept.

the two of you made it work. and wonwoo subtly smiled to himself as he cuddled closer to you, only pulling away to put the empty bowl ont he coffee table. he'd turn over, too, and lay atop you, snuggling in happily as he watched you play.

"happy?" you mused aloud, not taking your eyes off the screen.

"mhm." he nuzzled his head against your chest, smiling a little more now. "so... can you explain what we're doing again?"

he heard the way you chuckled. "we're looking for aladdin right now."

"again? i thought that was the first game."

another warm chuckle, deep in your chest. "yeah," you shifted, just to keep wonwoo close to you. "again."

lee jihoon

jihoon wasn't always one for skinship. this was something you knew: it was reserved for people he was close with, and for people who didn't use it as an excuse to baby him in any way. you'd seen the way his friend, seokmin, liked to teasingly (attempt) kiss him on the cheek and the way he'd always lean away, pretending to act grumpy while his smile always broke through a little. and with you, he'd always been open to little things in public like holding your hand or the occasional hug when it was cold out and you were seeking warmth. hell, sometimes he'd keep an arm loosely around you in public when you were in a crowded space. a tiny symbol that the two of you were linked together, but in a way that minimized the space you were taking up as you entered one another's bubble.

at home, though, things were different. jihoon wasn't afraid to ask for a hug or to be held if he needed it. and sometimes, after particularly stressful days, he needed it.

"honey?" his voice was always quiet, as if to keep this moment between the two of you alone. he'd always drop a 'honey' or 'love' too, as if to sweeten the deal (or maybe it was his way of telegraphing it to you: this is a sign i need something more intimate...). "can you hold me?"

he'd always ask, no matter how long the two of you had been dating. it was his way of telling you that his day had been rough without outright saying it. you'd maybe said 'no' once or twice due to awful timing: you'd been sick both times and didn't want to risk him catching whatever you had, but he'd understood easily enough... and you'd later get a picture from his roommate, soonyoung, 'stealing your man' (his way of saying not to worry: he was taking care of him). but your 'yes' came easily, and you'd readjusted in your position on the couch for him to essentially lay on you, cuddling into your arms.

"do you want to talk about it?" you asked once he'd settled in.

he shook his head. "maybe later. just... hold me for a bit first."

and you always would, snuggling together like you were each other's perfect fit.

lee seokmin

seokmin loved holding you... but he loved being held by you, too. never ask him to pick which one, because he would refuse every single time: there's too many pros and cons to both for him to pick between the options. therefore, seokmin just... liked holding. was that weird to say? he wasn't sure: regardless of who was doing said holding, he would always be happy.

which was why he was happy as you wrapped your arms around him from behind while he was on the phone with seungkwan, trying to coordinate a surprise party for another "special" friend. the party planning had been stressful (you told seokmin that bookkeu was a dog, he would be happy regardless of what seungkwan did for him, and then seungkwan stopped talking to you for a week until you apologized and said that you only meant it as a 'please don't let him lose sleep over this' deal), and just being in your arms helped plenty. was it maybe a little silly to get this worked up over coordinating a surprise party for a literal dog? maybe. but seungkwan had been excited over throwing a birthday party for his dog (bookkeu was a beloved member of the family, after all), and seokmin had grown a little excited over making doggy cupcakes... life was simply too short to not embrace things like this.

seokmin looked over his shoulder at you with a quiet "hi, honey," before he went back to talking about saying something about how the paw print mold was on its way so he could decorate the cupcakes with them. before you could draw back, he caught your wrist, pulling you back in so that you were still firmly pressed against his back. he pulled your wrist up so he could press a tiny peck against the inside of it, swaying happily with your arms still firmly around him.

the moment his phone call was over, he shoved his phone into his pocket and turned to face you. "hi," he giggled. "we're excited."

"i can tell," you smiled back, running a hand through his hair. "you sound excited."

"they're pupcakes," he said, pulling you in closer. "aren't you excited?"

for seokmin? you'd be excited over anything just to share in that joy alongside him.

kim mingyu

mingyu dragged himself into your bedroom, each step seemingly heavier than the last. you looked up from your book to see utter exhaustion on his face, and immediately set it aside.

"gyu--"

"drank too much," he mumbled as he all but collapsed onto his side of the bed. "cheol's fault..."

the cute way he was pouting now earned a giggle from you. of course it was him out drinking with seungcheol that ended with your pouty boyfriend all tired and maybe feeling a little sick. you crawled over, pulling at his shoulders. he gave in with ease, rolling onto his back as he rest his head in your lap, eyes falling shut as you began to play with his hair.

"did you drink water?" you asked. he nodded, leaning further into your touch. "i'll get another glass in a few minutes."

he shook his head. "can you... can you hold me first?"

of course you would. he stayed in your lap a little longer, too in love with the way you were playing with his hair until he turned over. rather than letting you move, he just crawled up, resting his head on your chest as he basically crushed you underneath him. you adjusted as best as you could, wrapping your arms around him, fingers still running through his hair. you could feel his smile through the thin fabric of your shirt, his arms wrapping around you after a moment.

"love you," he mumbled, turning his face so that he could press a kiss against your chest. "love you," he mumbled again.

you managed to plant a peck against the side of his head. "love you, too, mingyu."

xu minghao

minghao, simply put, preferred caring for you. there was something tender about being able to dote on his beloved whenever he could. it wasn't as though he hid his bad days from you--the two of you lived together now, that wasn't exactly an option, and not one he was ever fond of except for the very early days of you two dating (and even then, he was always mature enough to say he was having a rough day and he'd talk to you later in a way of asking for space). but from the moment he woke up this morning, something was... off.

so when he finally came home to you after work and meditating in the park, he gave in. "today was hard," he simply said as he was hanging up his jacket. "do you mind holding me for a little while?"

angel that you were, you never minded. minghao always knew he could come home and nuzzle into your open arms whenever he needed to be cared for. he'd always crawl into them, burrowing his face in your neck. he could smell your favorite body spray clinging to your skin, and it felt like home. you, too, felt like home... but that was because you were home.

something within him just... broke. maybe it was stress, or maybe he'd been holding himself together for far too long without relief. one moment he was fine, and the next he was tearing up for reasons he'd never be able to piece together. he buried his face further into your neck, holding onto you tight as he let himself cry (because you would always let him cry if he needed to--you were safe, you were home).

"oh, hao..." your voice was quiet, but he could feel the slight rumble in your chest from how close his body was pressed against yours. "it's okay." you traced circles onto his back. "just let it out, love. i'm here."

you were here. home. and he held onto you tighter, safe to come undone within your loving embrace.

boo seungkwan

seungkwan was mad. very mad. you could hear the front door slam from your curled-up position in bed, and that meant something went very wrong with whatever hang-out he had arranged with his friends. a few seconds later, you heard the bathroom door slam, and then open and close normally a minute later. before you knew it, seungkwan had thrown open the door and immediately apologized--to both you and the door for being so angry. he closed it with a restrained anger, and made his way over to bed.

"seungkwan?" you called to him quietly, watching him curl up tighter. "c'mere."

and he did. without hesitation, he turned over and moved into your arms, because that was one of the places he found calmed him the most. he let you hold him, and he shut his eyes, taking slow breaths as he curled up closer to you.

"you wanna talk about it?"

"in a minute." his fingers dug into your skin, and he pulled himself closer to you. and then he resumed his breathing, willing himself to calm down even further before he even thought about ranting to you.

"did something happen?"

he nodded. "i'll apologize later," he huffed. "after he apologizes first."

oh. ouch. you felt your phone buzz on the mattress beside you. no doubt it was someone trying to give you some kind of heads up (or maybe even an inkling of what had happened--probably vernon or jeonghan). you just started to knead at his back, feeling the way seungkwan further relaxed against you.

"i'm sorry," he mumbled softly. "did i scare you when i came in...?"

"a little, but it's okay," you said. "you're upset. did you guys get to have dinner?"

he shook his head.

"well," you pushed him back by the shoulders, just enough that you could look into his eyes. "let's order dinner and eat together... and then i can hold you again while you tell me what happened."

seungkwan leaned in, pressing a quick peck against your lips. "thank you," he said. "i love you."

"love you, too, kwannie."

chwe vernon

"hey. can you hold me for a bit? i'm kinda cold."

vernon was the king of unsubtle. it was hot out. hell, it was kind of warm in your apartment. the only colder room was your bedroom, and that was because the window A/C unit was in there. he was just watching a movie with you, no blankets because the two of you were warm enough. and now he was looking at you with this cute smile on his face, as if he couldn't just ask you to hold him because he wanted to be held. like he needed to go on some secret mission to get what he wanted.

"dude, you're wearing a hoodie."

never had you seen him strip it off so quickly, turning to you. "can you hold me now?"

ah. he knew this was becoming a little game. "you're already cold?"

"yep. freezing. need ya."

you rolled your eyes, and opened your arms to him. he happily shifted so that he could rest, back against your chest, and you could see that gummy smile as he cuddled in. again: the king of being unsubtle. he'd snuggled in a little further, hands coming up to hold onto your arms as he dragged his thumbs against your skin.

barely ten minutes later, and he peeked up at your face. "babe."

ah. the term of endearment. you knew what was coming next. "nope."

"i forgot you're like your own heater!"

"and now you're stuck here like my teddy bear," you held him a little tighter. "live with it, chwe."

(he would. for the rest of his life, if you'd let him.)

lee chan

"i told you, i'm fine!"

despite the elevated ankle, chan had been trying to convince you of this for the past twenty minutes. it was just a little sprain that the doctor said he needed to stay off of as much as he could. just a little one. he'd be fine by the end of the week, he was positive. even among his bickering with you, you'd moved around your shared bedroom, arranging things so that chan wouldn't have to worry too much. you'd elevated his ankle, made sure that the wrapping was still secure, and kept his crutches within reach in case he needed them.

("just a 'little' sprain" your ass--he'd teared up on you for a minute because of how bad it hurt, and even then he kept insisting he'd walk it off.)

"channie," you pouted at him. "i'm gonna take care of you, alright?"

he only pouted at you in return. "i don't need you to take care of me--it's just a sprain. i've been through worse--"

"that doesn't mean you need to neglect yourself this time!" you huffed, and crawled in from the other side of the bed.

before he could complain further, you pulled him over and into your arms, mindful of his ankle. you linked your arms around him, holding onto him tight before he could try to escape again because he noticed that the dishes needed doing and you were the one who cooked this morning, so it was only fair for him to do them. he'd tried to argue that he'd just be leaning against the counter, he could still help.

despite his sulking, you noticed the way he snuggled into your arms. "you're cheating."

"not my fault you love me so much."

"isn't it?" a tinge of amusement lined his voice, and you found yourself smiling a little, too. "you're the one who made me fall for you."

"you're the one who fell for me, you dork."

"literally--"

and among your vocalized complaints, he just laughed again and pulled one of your hands up so he could kiss the back of it. fine. he'd rest... for now.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @gyulbabie

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beenbaanbuun · 1 year ago

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seventeen’s reaction to their youngest member getting injured

choi seungcheol

has already lost 10 years of his life just from worrying about you

loses 5 more when he has to accompany you to the hospital because of your broken leg

he tried to save the lecture until after he knows you’re okay, but he can’t help it when the leader in him comes out

the conversation *cough* reprimand *cough* lasts for the whole car journey and by the time you’ve got the the hospital, you’d already been blocking it out for 10 minutes

“you need to be more careful,” he said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he might be frustrated, but he still wanted to show you he cared. “it might be a broken leg this time but who knows what it’ll be next time!”

at the end of the day he just cares about you too much to see you hurt

yoon jeonghan

if it isn’t bad, he’ll just tease you about how clumsy you are

probably still teases you if it is bad, but when you start tearing up because of how much it hurts, will immediately stop

causes hell just to make sure you’re getting the best treatment possible because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t make you were were as comfortable as possible

eventually calms down when you assure him you’re fine and you feel perfectly alright with what you’d been given

leaves 80% of the lecturing to seungcheol and just gives you a tiny one himself, mostly about how you’re not allowed to worry him

once he knows you’re feeling a little better, a switch will flip and he’ll go back to his regular annoying self just to try and get things back to normal

“well at least you didn’t fall down the stairs,” he laughed before cutting it short just a few seconds later, “oh, wait… never mind, you did!”

hong jisoo

was the only one around when you cut your finger open with the kitchen knife

doesn’t know what to do so he sends a text to seungcheol and shoves your hand under the cold tap for a while

tries to cheer you up but doesn’t really know how to when you’re bleeding profusely and crying just as much

eventually lands on his usual method of doing stupid shit just to get the tiniest smile out of you while you wait for anyone else to come and do the important part of patching you up

“keep your hand there,” he tells you as he lets go of your wrist and steps away from you, “get ready to feel better.”

100% does that silly little dance of his which has you cry laughing instead of just regular crying

you almost forget how much it hurts and shua considers his job done!

wen junhui

kind of clueless on what to do when you go to him with a bloody nose and tell him you got hit in the face playing foot volleyball

sits you down on the sofa whilst he frantically google’s how to stop nose bleeds

asks you to go and grab tissues before realising that you’re the one he’s supposed to be helping and goes to get them himself

winces a bit when he gets blood on his hands but remembers that he’s doing it for you and the grossness of it goes away pretty quickly

tries to talk you through the pain, letting you know about what he’s been doing with his day and what he’s planning to do later

“and then you came in to talk to me and i think that’s it,” he finished up recounting every second of his day as he switched the tissue for a clean one, “and then later i’m going to head to the practice rooms to-”

definitely forgets about your injury once the bleeding has stopped and boops you on the nose only to profusely apologise when you wince in pain

kwon soonyoung

if you could run away with a sprained ankle, you definitely should because hoshi will turn up his clinginess by about 80% the moment he hears that you have an injury

will not let you out of his sight until he knows you’re okay again

unfortunately for you that means you have a permanent body guard telling you what you can and can’t do which gets very old very fast

you cant even hide from him because god knows he will seek you out and yell at you for walking on your bad ankle too much

might be overbearing but in reality he just wants you to get better as quickly as possible because it makes him sad to see you in pain

“sit down and let me do it,” hoshi shouted as he noticed you trying to get a bowl of cereal for yourself, “and you wonder why i like to keep an eye on you…”

you eventually give into the clinginess in the hopes that he’ll get bored after a while… he doesn’t…

jeon wonwoo

freezes when he spots you crying and holding your wrist in front of the stove

literally does not know what to do in this situation because he usually palms it off onto one of his other members

but he’s the only one around and you’ve just been burnt and desperately need someone to help

so he walks over to you and drags you to the sink with your good wrist, all whilst muttering complaints about how you need to be more careful

strokes your hair when you’re running your wrist under the cold water to try and soothe you just a little

“you’re okay, y/n,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your hairline, “i know it hurts but the longer you hold it under the water, the less it’ll hurt in the long run.”

passes you along to the next member that comes along but will check up on you every few minutes just to make sure you’re okay

lee jihoon

his first response is always ‘go find seungcheol’ when you go to him with an injury, but sometimes he’s the only one around and you look so upset and fuck… he’ll have to deal with this

very methodical about it - asks you what’s wrong, finds out what he needs to do, does it

he’ll try and hide his smile as you tell him about what stupid thing you were doing that got you hurt this time, but tries to hide it because at the end of the day, you’re still injured

usually shuffles in close whilst he’s bandaging you up just so you can lean on him in it gets too painful at any point

he refuses to complain about you leaning on him when you’re hurt because how can he deny you physical affection when it’s obviously making you feel better

in reality he just has a soft spot for you and uses you being hurt as an excuse to let you hug him with no complaints

“there we go, kid,” he rubs your arm affectionately, “all patched up…”

lee seokmin

panics because oh god his kid is hurt and he doesn’t know what to do and WHERE IS SEUNGCHEOL

will sit down and hold you close while he rings around the members to try and find one to come and help

he claims the cuddling is to help soothe, but you both know it’s so he can calm himself down more than anything

eventually gets ahold of another member and begs them to come home and help

breathes a sigh of relief when they agree; now his only job is making sure you’re calm and comfortable and nothing hurts too much

cue seokmin literally becoming your butler for the next 20 minutes whilst you wait for someone else to get home because he needs to make sure that you have everything you need

“do you need more tea?” he asks as you take the final sip. not even a second passes before the mug is taken from you and more tea is poured. “i’ll get you some more, just so you have it if you want it, okay?”

kim mingyu

tries his hardest to help but he can’t help but gag when you tell him about how you trapped you fingers in the car door

doesn’t know what to do so he literally wraps up your whole hand in gauze and calls it a day - it’s someone else’s problem now

spends more time trying to cheer you up than he actually does helping with your injury because at least he knows how to make you smile

tells you bad jokes until you can’t breathe from laughter and you’re begging him to stop

he stops but only so you can get your breath back, and then he starts again because laughter is clearly a great pain killer

“if it’s more jokes you want then it’s more jokes i have, pipsqueek,” mingyu smiled at you as you frantically shook your head, “no more jokes? well that’s boring… how about this one? why did the old man-”

continues until someone more qualified to deal with your gross injury gets home

xu minghao

doesn’t lecture you in the same way seungcheol does, but definitely gives you a speech about how you shouldn’t be putting yourself in dangerous situations

rolls his eyes at you when you try and pass the blame onto another member who you claimed to be your ‘partner in crime’ because he knows it was definitely just your own clumsiness

still tries his hardest to help clean up the scratch on your face that you got from who knows what - minghao had zoned out part way through your convoluted story

lets you squeeze his hand if the antiseptic makes your scratch hurt too much

even let’s you pick out a cute bandaid to put over it just because he knows it’ll cheer you up

“if your stylist gets mad at you, don’t come crying to me,” he grumbles as he presses a kind kiss to the bandaid, “it’s your own fault, no one else’s.”

tells you to be careful before you go running off to cause more trouble

boo seungkwan

very much an ‘i told you this would happen’ kind of person, even if he had not ‘told you so’ like he says he did

will roll his eyes when you get brought back to the dorms with a cast on your wrist, but is the first to help you carry your stuff inside

yells at you if you even think about lifting a finger but complains about how you’re making him do everything for you

you always tell him if it’s that much trouble you’ll do it yourself, but he’ll just glare at you and tell you to stop talking nonsense

threatens to tell seungcheol whenever he catches you with your arm out of your sling

would actually go through with it if he thought you were doing any real damage to your arm

“the doctor wouldn’t like you doing that, you know,” he muttered as he watched you stretch out your aching limb, “neither would seungcheol…”

choi hansol

vernon knows that if you go to him with an injury, you have exhausted literally every other option you have

literally clueless about what to do when you walk up to him with a black eye because you ran into a glass door

google is his best friend as he frantically searches how to reduce bruising

has no qualms with sending you to retrieve your own ice pack from the freezer as he does some more googling…

won’t do much to try and cheer you up other than putting on a movie and grabbing snacks for the two of you to share

doesn’t complain about holding your ice pack in place when you fall asleep on his shoulder… after all, it just means more snacks for him

falls asleep himself before the film is over and your ice pack ends up on the floor… so much for trying to reduce the bruising

lee chan

probably his fault you were injured in the first place so he makes you promise that if he helps then you won’t tell any of the older members

you only agree to the deal when he offers to buy you a meal as well as helping you clean and bandage the cuts on your knees from where he tripped you

he honestly tries his hardest to help, partly because he feels bad and partly because he doesn’t want to face anyone’s wrath when they find out he’s the reason you’re injured

tries is the main word, though, as he ends up having to get help from someone else anyway

he chooses the least likely member to get him in trouble and together him and mingyu puzzle over what to do about your knees

you eventually end up guiding them through the process of cleaning them and then wiping them down with antiseptic before bandaging them

“do you think i did a good job?” he asks once the bandages were secured over the grazes. you glared at him. “fine, a good enough job for you to not tell on me…”

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #svt scenarios #svt fluff #seventeen fic #seventeen reactions #svt fic #svt reactions #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #svt addition #seventeen addition #svt 14th member #seventeen 14th member

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manawari · 1 year ago

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SL characters as movie stars AU!

Sung Jin-woo

has been acting since he was a teenager. Though, he only gets lesser roles until he grows in the acting industry, thus earning the "glow up" as well the more he takes on roles. By the time he's in his twenties, Jin-woo receives lead roles and has never left ever since due to the impact of his performance that is hard to be seen as a supporting character. His movies range from drama, adventure, and action — though, he spend most of his time in the action genre. Jin-woo does his own stunts as he does martial arts and working out as his hobbies. Whenever he gets partnered up with someone, dating rumors always spark up, so he tends to avoid having a partner for the sake of protecting his zone. He improvises some of his lines and is very professional.

Cha Hae-in

a former athlete to one of the country's biggest stars. Due to her sweetheart persona, she often gets roles in soap operas, dramas, and romance, though she wants to take on the action genre to hone her skills. Her management got her stunt doubles, much to her dismay, until they trusted her enough to do her own stunts. Hae-in's skills are very realistic that every time she cries in her scenes, several of the production cry as well, thus allowing her to earn many awards. She gets along with her co-workers and is even said to be that some of her leading men develop a crush on her. However, she has not dated at least one of them, even outside her career, as she chooses to focus on her job.

Woo Jin-chul

a star who has been featured in international movies, hence becoming a multilingual because of his passion in learning new languages before his departure from South Korea. He is usually stern, but is very friendly to his co-workers, as well as his fans. Jin-chul takes on both protagonist and antagonist roles, although he secretly likes his villain roles more than his hero ones. He does his own stunts and is skillful with holding guns.

Choi Jong-in

most of his roles are those wherein he's the son of a millionaire or just a rich person who owns a big company. He hardly gets main roles, but the impact in his performances even as a supporting character are what made him prominent in the industry. Jong-in also has roles where he's an antagonist, which his fans prefer more; it is also said that some of his castmates or co-workers feel quite intimidated by him.

Baek Yoon-ho

a prominent action star who does his own stunts. Not once he has appeared in movies that are anything but action. Despite being in his twenties, Yoon-ho receive roles where he is a single father who will do anything to protect his family, thus capturing the hearts of the young actors and actresses he works with. He also helps his castmates in training for fighting scenes, thus forming a bond with them as well. Yoon-ho has his own charity that he donates a sufficient amount of money in for helping tigers and other wild animals.

Lee Ju-hee

one of the industry's dearest sweethearts. Her movies are mostly in the slice of life genre, specifically romance. Regardless of what she believes, Ju-hee never fails to create chemistry with the ones she works with, especially to those who have partnered up with her. She receives both main and supporting roles. Lee Ju-hee may have appeared in horror and action films, but she prefers to stay in the slice of life genre despite not minding to step out of her comfort zone.

Lim Tae-gyu

a actor whose roles are primarily supporting, yet has many main roles as well. His skill ranges from drama, comedy, and action. Tae-gyu mostly does his own stunts, always allotting his time in training once he receives the script. He's charismatic, yet isn't necessarily great when it comes to romantic chemistry because of the vibe he frequently gives out. He's friends with many famous stars such as Baek Yoon-ho, Choi Jong-in, Ma Dong-wook, Min Byung-gyu, Sung Jin-woo, and Cha Hae-in, and has revealed of his wish of being able to be in the same film as them together.

Min Byung-gyu

an actor who has shown up in various genres. When it comes to slice of life, Byung-gyu mostly gets leading roles, and sometimes, he gets the "second male lead" roles, which brings more impact to the viewers. But as for other genres like action and horror, Byung-gyu takes on supporting roles; he is one of the actors who has a stunt double and still gets to do certain stunts depending on his capability. And when it comes to the historical genre, that is when Byung-gyu gets most excited and believes he does his roles better in period dramas than the rest, partly because he is a big fan of historical dramas which he views his other roles differently. Byung-gyu is great at improvising his lines that the director only has to tell him the background of the scene and Byung-gyu knows what to do next, which somehow makes some actors feel challenged as they are not sure if they can go along with Byung-gyu's improvised lines. But, Byung-gyu always does his best to help his co-stars and not make them feel pressured.

Eun-seok

one of the country's lesser known actors who is known for getting background roles. Eun-seok hardly appears in films, yet is friends with a lot of big stars in the industry. The reason being that he got severely injured in set once, which has scarred him and chose to no longer show up in filming unless he feels like doing so.

Yoo Jin-ho

a supporting actor who is well-known for being Sung Jin-woo's "sidekick" as he had been acting alongside him for years. Yoo Jin-ho specializes in roles that are comedic relief — he doesn't mind it since that means he doesn't have a lot of lines to memorize. Despite being an actor himself, Jin-ho is not afraid to unleash his inner "fanboy" when it comes to expressing his support in actors and actresses he admires.

Park Hee-jin

an actress who is known for her background or supporting roles. Hee-jin excels from soap operas to action movies. Her roles are usually helping the main character and defending them from the antagonist(s).

Ma Dong-wook

a versatile actor in his fifties who has different roles in various genres, whether it be a father or someone the main characters seek help from. He shares his experiences to his fellow stars as his way of helping them in filming and has a lot of actors/actresses wishing to act in the same movie as him; not because of his talent, but also his kind nature that he treats everyone younger than him as his children.

Liu Zhigang

China's rising action star. A likeable and charming actor whose roles are both protagonist and antagonist. Zhigang does his own stunts and likes to go to the extreme where no editing shall be involved. He's one of the faces in the industry whose management cannot simply allow to be part of a film unless the paycheck is immense and does not tarnish Zhigang's talent. In every film he is in, it receives many awards that reach up to internationals. Zhigang has acted in international films, which makes him fluent in English after being casted alongside stars in different countries.

Thomas Andre

a powerful actor in the USA who is popular for his antagonistic roles. Thomas enjoys playing the bad guy. And what makes him likeable is that he donates half of his money to charities and has his own foundation for children with special needs and disabilities. He is funny and tends to joke around in set, along in conventions where he gets to communicate with fans and gives them the best time in their lives.

Laura

an actress who excels most in the action genre. She films her scenes effortlessly and smoothly without needing a second take. Laura learns martial arts off-screen and knows how to hold a gun; she is also sassy and has the kind of humor that makes her co-stars adore working with her despite her stern and cold demeanor.

Goto Ryuji

a versatile actor in Japan who appears in dramas and action. His roles are mostly in the villain side, which what makes him intimidating to other actors. Goto prefers to work with those who are professional and hardly messes up more than twice otherwise he thinks they are wasting his time. However, he is usually gently to those who are younger and new to the acting industry, he looks out for them and won't hesitate to scold the production if the first time actors ever get hurt in set.

#should've added other characters too but the post will be way too long #solo leveling #sung jin woo #cha hae in #woo jin chul #choi jong in #baek yoon ho #lee ju hee #lim tae gyu #min byung gyu #sl eun seok #yoo jin ho #park hee jin #ma dong seok #liu zhigang #thomas andre #sl laura #goto ryuji

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kim-jongin-s · 3 months ago

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svt fic recs (mostly nc-17; jeongcheol, minwon, wonchan + other)

JEONGCHEOL

"smoking roses". band!au. oneshot, 3k. pg-13.

His tenuous youth is the unwavering foundation that builds the person he is in the present day. Recalling a memory implies that he’s had a chance to let it go, but the truth is that Choi Seungcheol can count on his hands the number of times that Yoon Jeonghan isn’t a specter in his mind.

"we're just friends". au. oneshot, 3.6k. nc-17.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol have been in love with each other for years and were too dumb to realize. Yup. That's it.

"wanna bet?". oneshot, 4k. pg-13.

‘Yah! I’m an excellent kisser,” Seungcheol yells.

“Oh please,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. "You’re not that good.”

The thing is, Seungcheol is not a terrible kisser. He’s great, in fact. And he's not about to take this slander lying down.

"salt wounds". au: fisherman!sc, merman!jh. 7 chapters, 86k. r. ♡

After the passing of his father, Choi Seungcheol is left to deal with everything he left behind, including his fishing shop and house on the coastal shores of Tongyeong. With reluctance, he goes back temporarily to help tie those loose ends.

Then comes Jeonghan, a fascinating being with the ability to help Seungcheol more than he needs.

MINWON

"nobody knows". royalty!au. oneshot, 4k. nc-17.

An hour and thirteen minutes. That’s how long it takes for Mingyu to have Wonwoo between his legs, starting from the moment their eyes met from opposite sides of the enormous ballroom they found themselves in.

"like they do in the movies". college!au. oneshot, 4k. pg-13/r.

They have the apartment to themselves, for once, which Mingyu assumes will lead to hot, steamy sex. But Wonwoo is a film student to his core.

↳ "in one take". college!au. oneshot, 6k. nc-17.

Kim Mingyu has… a problem. A sex problem.

There’s just… erm. There’s something missing. When he does it.

“Ohhh,” Wonwoo says slowly, like he’s figured something out. “You want me to tell you what to do?”

"you return like autumn, and i fall every time". au. 12 chapters, 72k. nc-17.

Mingyu and Wonwoo have been best friends for what feels like an eternity. They spend every moment together, until Wonwoo suddenly leaves without a trace.

But hey, Mingyu’s fine. It’s been six years after all. Until Wonwoo appears in front of him, and suddenly he’s back to his seventeen-year-old self. Fuck.

WONCHAN

"we sound better (than you or me)". fwb!au. oneshot, 13.6k. nc-17.

Being fuck buddies with Wonwoo is easy. At least, it would be if Chan’s cat would just leave him alone.

"hold your breath (and take the dive)". college!au. oneshot, 14k. pg-13.

Picture this: your name is Lee Chan and your best friend ropes you into a summer trip to Jeju to accompany his fifth wheel.

You come out of it with a boyfriend.

OTHER

"home sweet home". s.coups/wonwoo/dino. hybrid!au: bunny!sc puppy!dn. oneshot, 6.6k. nc-17.

“That’s three offences, puppy,” Wonwoo sighs, making sure to bleed some disappointment into his voice. It works because Chan’s head snaps at him, eyes wide and glassy.

"royal marriage". juncheol. royalty!au, omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jn, hybrid!au: lion!sc, cat!jn. oneshot, 8k.

Prince Seungcheol and Prince Junhui must marry and have children to ensure the legacy of their kingdoms. It is their duty and they must fulfill it even if they do not know each other before the wedding.

Duty comes before love, but who says they can't mix together.

"earl grey". junhao. omegaverse: omega!jn, omega!mh. oneshot, 9k. nc-17.

“Pretty boy,” Junhui says softly, looking down at Minghao. “Pretty omega.”

And that’s— Minghao has never liked that before. He’s never liked being called “omega” before.

"pressing buttons". seokgyu. omegaverse: alpha!mg, alpha!dk. oneshot, 9k. nc-17.

It’s after Seokmin has pulled Mingyu into what is apparently his bedroom, and they’re both shirtless, Mingyu struggling to also be pantsless, that Seokmin asks the incredibly obvious, “You want me to top?”

"sweet music playing in the dark". s.coups/jeonghan/mingyu. au. oneshot, 10k. nc-17. ♡

He's trying to figure out how to get Jeonghan to stop, because he's making the drive back home a lot more difficult than necessary, when he gets another photo. This time he almost drops his phone. Jeonghan’s long, white legs with Seungcheol’s hand between them, fingers disappearing from sight.

"storm in the quiet". seoksoon. tomb raider!au. oneshot, 10.5k. nc-17.

“Every step I take on this island puts me closer to being six feet under, and I’ll be damned if we don’t fuck before I get sacrificied to some sun god.”

"matching my footsteps to yours". seokwoo. fwb!au. oneshot, 16k. nc-17.

“It’s cool,” Wonwoo says simply. “It’s chill.”

“You have never, ever been either cool or chill in your entire life,” Jihoon deadpans.

Or: Seokmin is an actor friend that Wonwoo sometimes hooks up with.

"my blood in your mouth". verkwan. omegaverse: omega!sk, alpha!vn. twoshot, 34.5k. nc-17.

There's a thin line between instinct and desire. It takes Seungkwan a while to realize they're one and the same when it comes to Hansol.

"mi re do (our future, too)". cheolchan. au. oneshot, 36k. nc-17.

If you're going to ask Chan what is the one advice he wishes he can share to everyone in the entire world it would be this: never mix soju and beer with pretty men.

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stormdragon23 · 1 year ago

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Choi Jong-In Character Analysis

We'll stick to five different things for now (because this post got long)

Choi Jong-In's vision

Jong-In doesn't like bright lights. It might be because of that firecracker that went off in his face before (according to the dossier from the game), but I wonder if it hinders him when he's hunting in closed spaces other than the fact that fire is just dangerous in such places

I'm also curious if he wears the glasses to help with the brightness since they seem tinted and tend to reflect light a lot, but both could be because of the art style.

The lenses on his glasses seem rather thick, so it's either to help him with bright places or his vision really is just that bad. He's probably blind without them either way though-

2. Choi Jong-In's age

If Jong-In got his passport when he turned 18 and just renewed it, he’s probably around 28 at the youngest since he might have gotten his passport when he was older. He could have renewed it earlier than that, but no one does that- (at least not more than a year before it expires)

This also means that Jongin might have been around 18 when the gates first appeared though he didn’t know he awakened until around six years later according to the game dossier. This means he was probably around 24 by the time he knew he was awakened (although he actually awakened earlier without noticing)

3. Choi Jong-In's leadership skills

Jong-In seemed to assume the role of leader during the raid by making sure the others would be safe and efficiently clearly obstacles that made it harder for them to get to the queen. This was interesting considering there were three other guild masters there (and likely with more experience based on Jong-In awakening six years after the gates appeared, whereas Lim Tae-Gyu and Baek Yoon-Ho awakened soon after the gates appeared). While the reason could be because of how versatile his powers are, he appeared to naturally make the first move rather than let someone else try their idea or wait for someone to ask him what they should do

He also explains what he’s doing calmly to the other hunters. While this could just be for the readers to know what he’s doing, he doesn’t make any rude comments to anyone. Like when Baek Yoon-Ho asked what he was doing, Jong-In explained how the explosions from the fire would show where the queen was. It could be argued that the two were too busy to be arguing like usual, but Yoon-Ho and Min Byung-Gyu were bantering quite a bit as they were making their way inside

Jong-In also knows how to make Yoon-Ho mad as seen throughout the series, so he’s actively not picking a fight when he certainly could have at this point when they weren’t fighting the ants yet. It could be that Jong-In’s too focused on the raid despite his calm demeanor, or he knows it would distract Yoon-Ho too much as he’s very capable of reading Yoon-Ho’s body language

4. Choi Jong-In's perceptiveness

Yoon-Ho is the one Jong-In tends to read the most in terms of body language and emotions, so this part will mostly be about Jong-In reading Yoon-Ho

While Jong-In knew exactly why Yoon-Ho was at the building, he didn't indicate that he figured it out other than his usual smile. He's good at drawing conclusions based on what he observes and reacts in a way that prevents others from knowing what he's thinking. (This might be why Yoon-Ho dislikes him as he knows how well Jong-In can read him)

When the other major guilds were glad that Sung Jin-Woo was no longer taking gates, Jong-In found it suspicious rather than being glad that his guild could get more gates. Jong-In seems to question why things happen and how they work. This was shown in the game dossier when he wanted to test his powers before finding out his rank and ended up burning down a whole building

Despite Yoon-Ho making a provoking comment, Jong-In either knows that Yoon-Ho is avoiding the question and chooses to ignore it or knows that's just Yoon-Ho's way of answering him. In either case, Jong-In understands him enough to try to help him

Side note: Yoon-Ho tends to be the one to start arguments with Jong-In, making Jong-In defend himself

5. Choi Jong-In's self-confidence

While Jong-In seems like he would be an arrogant person, especially with his title, there are actually more moments of Jong-In being aware of his limits rather than being overconfident

When he first heard about Jin-Woo's powers, he believed what Son Ki-Hoon said and immediately understood that Jin-Woo was much stronger than him, compared to Thomas Andre or Hwang Dong-Soo who refused to believe it at first

Jong-In is also aware of how much damage he is capable of as shown throughout the Jeju raid. After assessing how strong the flying ants were, he was confident enough to jump off the helicopter to take care of the ants below alone. However, he did not take the same risk when the S-Ranks entered the anthill as he did not know what would be ahead

That's all for Choi Jong-In in this post, but I do plan on making another one about him. If anyone has specific things they want to hear, feel free to ask for them. If you made it this far, have this picture of Jong-In

He's so precious

#solo leveling #choi jong in #character analysis #blind arsonist has been living in my head rent free for too long-#and i'm still not done-#if anything i got more attached to him

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boysplanetrecaps · 1 year ago

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Build Up Ep 1, Part 2

Hello! When we left off in my Build Up Recap adventure, we had just finished the first part of episode 1. In this post, we'll get through more of episode 1, and we'll learn why this man is making this face!

Let's do it!

A reminder on the color coding: blue is soul, orange is allround, green is unique, and purple is power.

We just saw Seongjeong the leaping lizard do his amazing intro.

Then of course it’s time for everyone to talk about who looks like who, as seems to happen at the beginning of every variety show like this, and as usual I don’t see most of them.

They say that Choi Suhwan looks like Onestar, and for this one, I guess maybe. (You may remember Onestar from his time as a vocal trainer on various Produce seasons.)

No one talks about how Hyukjin looks like Lee Yedam from Boys Planet/Onepact. (Or is it just me?)

Yedam, left, and Hyukjin, right.

Everyone says that Bitsaeon from M.O.N.T. looks exactly like Code Kunst. He doesn’t really, except that both of them have ears that stick out. Everyone seems to be talking about that, so he introduces himself as someone who wants to be as famous as Code Kunst.

Just then (at least in the edit), V36 starts to play -- it’s Rose Blossom by H1-Key, as performed by Bitsaeon. (I’d have to assume that the song played first, then he introduced himself by name afterward…?)

Seunghun from CIX starts dancing along as his new friend Hwanhee tries to place the song.

Everyone seems to like the performance, including me! He sounds great, and Sunghun from CIX interviews that their voices would harmonize well. Jay says, “aju nice!” when it’s done -- I wonder if he recognized it as Bitseon, since they probably know each other.

Bitseon gets 21 votes, and says he’ll prove himself to those who didn’t pick him.

Seongjeong the leaping musical actor says to his neighbor Joohee that there are a lot of idols here. That leads into a montage of performances from idol singers, all of whom are wondering, will anyone like my voice? (At least, the caption says they are.)

Seokhwa from WEi, V37

Hwanhee from Up10tion, V38 (Tomboy)

Geonu from Just B, V10

Donghun from ACE, V20 (Miracles in December)

Donghun interviews that he’s here as a main vocal, and he’s expecting to see many other main vocalists.

Every time I see Donghun in this episode, between his loosened tie and ill-fitting blazer and tired demeanor, all I can see is a beat cop in a police procedural who's ready to interrogate a subject.

Is it just me?

So, in honor of that, I'm going to call him "Detective Donghun" to remember him. As with all my nicknames, they're done to help us remember who is who and they're laced with love.

Kim Seoyhung says that he can’t sing stylish trendy songs, like the way idols sing. Yoon Inhwan interviews that all the idols sound the same, which is I think is unfair. Hwanhee, in particular, doesn’t sound like the others at all. Inhwan is mostly worried that their voices wouldn’t mix well, and I could say something like “I wonder if anyone’s voice would mix with yours, after you drank that gallon of milk before you sang?” But that would be mean. I try not to be mean, you guys.

All the idol main vocalists get relatively low scores.

Hwanhee gets 14, Seokhwa gets 15, Donghun gets 18, and Geonu gets 11. I wonder if Hwanhee’s low vote tally is as much to do with his sort of sharp vocal color? I love the way it comes through in Up10tion songs but I could imagine people worrying about his harmonizing. Or maybe they didn’t think he showed enough in his teaser, since he sang a pop song and had backup vocals.

Meanwhile, Seunghun from CIX is super nervous.

It seems like he and Hwanhee have struck up a bit of a friendship. Hwanhee asks him if he often gets nervous, and Seunghun is like, I really, really do. Even at the pre-tape meeting, he was shaking. Hwanhee is like, there’s nothing to be nervous about -- you already recorded your teaser, so you can relax, right? (“Plus, we don’t have to dance!” -- Hwanhee, probably) But Seunghun is just a bag of anxiety wearing a brown jacket.

When the voice says V1 will play, he reacts so strongly that it must be obvious that he is V1. As I said in my intro posts, I don’t think he was super successful in this performance, so I can understand why he’d be nervous. Like, you know you screwed up, and now everyone else is going to know, too. Aww, poor guy. When the song finishes playing, everyone applauds, but few had voted for him -- only 7. At the reveal of this low number, a bunch of the guys cover their mouth in shock.

Park Jeup, he of the powerful pussy bow, said he didn’t understand the low result -- in his opinion, this is a voice that would match with anyone’s. But Hong Seongjun from BDC, he of the white jacket with the mandarin collar, said it was “lacking.” Jay interviews that he didn’t vote for it or even really listen because it was in the ballad style, which wouldn’t match with his style.

Seunghun says, “I haven’t shown 20% of my voice. I will be the vocalist that could match anyone’s voice.” Everyone applauds. Fighting! Taehwan from Vanner says to Bitseon, “It’s a voice that could match with anything,” and Bitseon agrees. That’s sweet.

Kindly hyung Hwanhee reaches out to touch Seunghun’s shoulder. “Do you feel better now that it’s over?” Seunghun says, “I feel better, but it’s a bummer.” He says he knew that the competition would be tough, but he’s still ashamed of the result. I think he might be fighting back tears. Oh no! Poor guy. I think we’ve all been there -- it’s too late to fix it so you just have to ride it out.

After that, we jump straight to V07.

If you’re just reading the recaps and didn’t necessarily listen to all the teasers, be sure to check this one out. Just try to picture someone who’d be singing it.

The guys all react the moment it begins to play.

Inhwan likes it. I think. I guess? Not sure.

Seunghun likes it. I think. I guess? Not sure.

Ma Jaekyung (former Romeo) says, “oh, what a nice voice.” Bitsaeon (M.O.N.T.) says, “Wow, this is truly unique.” The vote tally immediately begins to climb. Basically, everyone loves it, even Dahee. Kim Seongjeong, our leaping lizard, says that this person has a monster talent. Jay says, “He was the one I wanted to work with the most out of all 40 people.” Sunyoul from Up10tion is like, just tell us who it is already!!

Park Jeup (former IMFACT), with his puissant pussy bow, leans over the red-suited Hyukjin (100%/Fave1) to point out Neon, wearing green. They think it’s him singing.

Side note: Google translate swears up and down that Park Jeup’s name is “Taxidermy”. Taxidermy is apparently 박제술, andJeup’s name is 박제업. So the first two syllables are the same. That’s unfortunate!

So, who could it be? Who could be the owner of this interesting voice that won 27 votes, taking over first place…? They expected someone with that voice to be kind of old, but it’s youthful, soft-voiced (when speaking) Kang Hayoon.

LTR: Lim Jun-hyuk, Woong, Sunyoul (in pink), Kang Hayoon in beige and light blue

He introduces himself with an anacrotic poem with the syllables of his name. “I’ll appeal strongly/ dear god, for me to debut/ please allow me.” Everyone says, “cyooo!”

Up next is V33, sung by Neon (the one wearing green). It’s Rush Hour. Did he get permission from Jay to sing this? And did he get permission to do what he does next, which is get out of his chair and say things like “make some fucking noise!” making it really clear that he’s the one singing...? It seems at least against the spirit of the rules, if not actually against the letter, but no one is stopping him, so he’s just going to do that.

A bunch of them get up to dance, including Woong and Sunyoul, both of whom seem ready to have fun here. I enjoy a joiner.

Choi Haram, in his houndstooth gray and white blazer thing, interviews, “I’m a big introvert, He looked so cool. I was jealous.” I’ll call him introverted Haram.

Neon introduces himself as an R&B/Soul singer-songwriter. He says he ran around to give them all energy. The running around thing was maybe a mistake, because a few of them say, “oh no, I was too busy dancing to vote!” He only gets 13 votes. Donghun from ACE would have voted for him, and I think Seokhwa would have too. Neon interviews, “Considering those who forgot to vote out of surprise, I guess I did ok.”

We find out that Woong from AB6IX has forgotten to vote more than once -- including during Pixar character Jo Hwanji’s audition with Swing My Baby. We see a bit of Woong’s pre-show taping interview, where he is wearing a denim jacket on top of another denim jacket on top of a hoodie. Do they not heat these studios at all or what?

He says, “It’s really hard to be the son of MNET. Right now, I’m the son of Rhymer from Brand New Music.” (AB6IX is under Brand New Music, and Rhymer is the founder.) “But I’m open to anything. I love you, boss MNET!”

So, how did Woong do with his singing? Let’s find out!

He’s V11. The on screen caption says “Unique and captivating voice,” and as you know if you read my episode 0 guides, I like his singing, though I’m not quite sure how trained he is. It just sounds good. Bitsaeon points out that V11 (Woong) does well with the rhythm, and that’s true, he definitely does. As Woong dances along to his own singing, everyone is voting for him. Lee Gwangseok says, “That was outstanding.” And getting a bit of Woong’s personality along with the voice definitely makes the performance… well… sing.

Even though everyone seemed to enjoy the performance, Woong only gets 14 votes, but he stays cheerful. Woong says, “the result is different form the response. I’m still happy with the result. I’ll seize my chance and become the son of MNET. Fighting!”

Woong center, in blue. In the foreground you can see the back of Hyukin’s head, Park Jeup’s head, and Kim Minseo’s head. In the suit to the left of Hyukjin, that’s Yoon Inhwan, then I think that’s Jo Hwanji the Pixar character, and Lim Junhyeok in white. Behind Woong is Sunyoul from Up10tion in Pink, Kang Hayoon in the cravat, Wumuti in the hat, and Lee Gwangseok/Kwangseok in the leather jacket.

Fighting! Also here is a picture of Inseok from KNK for my readers who love him. Also, why does Yeo One clap that way? That’s a weird way to clap. LTR: Yeo One, Inseok, and Ma Jaekyoung from Romeo.

Most of the guys laugh and clap for Woong’s enthusiasm, but Hong Seungjun is a bit more serious.

His group, BDC, was also from Brand New Music, but basically disbanded in August of 2023. BDC even went on Peak Time to try to stir up some interest first, but the group was eliminated in the first round. Basically, Seungjun has had a tough road and it makes sense that he might be a little, I don’t know... maybe "bitter" is too harsh a word, but I think you know what I mean. Like, he’s been through it. And it must be extra galling that AB6IX is doing comparatively well, being from the same agency and all that.

Seungjun voiceovers, “I thought it was odd. They’re still performing and doing pretty well. I’m wondering, what are they doing here? Especially Yeo One-sunbaenim from Pentagon.”

As if in response, Yeo One interviews, “I’ve been in this filed for a long time. I got 10 seconds, max 20 seconds in each song. I always had the third to sing for 10 years that can never be quenched. I’m here because I want to sing. I’m here to sing. I want people to watch me singing. That’s all I want.”

Then V40 plays -- it’s Yeo One. People seem to be enjoying it, and the vote tally creeps up. They like his expressiveness, which I can understand. Bitsaeon from MONT says, “I want to listen to that before I go to bed.” Personally, I put on a Jenny Nicholson video. Is that weird? Probably. Anyway, Yeo One gets 22 votes, which is pretty good. “I’m happy that people listened to me singing,” he interviews. Ok, Yeo One, we get it, sweetie.

Little Kang Hayoon is still in first place, and Seunghun from CIX is in last. Dahee asks Hayoon if he thinks he’ll stay in first place, and Hayoon is like, “Didn’t even cross my mind.”

But now it’s time for… V19. Will Hayoon be deposed? A rough, sweet, textured voice fills the studio. Everyone interviews things like “How can anyone even sing that well?” “It was such a deep voice. I was so surprised by it.” The vote tally is over the top -- it’s 32, leaving Hayoon in the dust. “It kind of poked my heart,” Hayoon says, of falling to second place. And whose voice is it? It’s Lee Gwangseok, the guy in the leather jacket.

It seems unfair to everyone that such a tall, good looking guy (his normal job is to be a model!) with no training at all can just sing like that.Well, that’s how it be, sometimes, I guess! Sunyoul from Up10tion interviews, “The world is messed up!” and laughs.

“I never majored in singing or learned it before,” Gwangseok says. I just was hoping I’d get more than 5 votes. I’m grateful they liked my voice. As someone who dreamed of becoming a singer, I’m glad.”

No one wants to follow that, but Jeup feels like it’s going to be him. We hear from a few of the contestants, including Hwanhee from Up10tion, that the “guy in red” (Hyukjin) and “the guy in the ribbon” (Jeup) are ones to watch. Sunyoul says that Jeup is a “monstrous vocalist”, that he’s so good that it’s like he’s cheating.

We get to hear some of V34, ie, Jeup. It is some serious technique on display. Everyone seems to respect what they heard, saying that it deserves a standing ovation and stuff like that. But the vote tally doesn’t quite reflect that. He gets only 28 votes, putting him in second place. Some of them find if very strange, including Jay and Hwang Inhyuk.

Geonu from Just B and Sunyoul from Up10tion both interview that they’re hesitant to team up with someone so good. “Because he’s so good, I want to work with him,” Sunyoul says, laughing, “but at the same time, because he’s so good, I don’t want to work with him.”

And that’s all we see of the Voice Check! Again, if you want to hear what I think of all 40 performances, be sure to check out my “episode zero” write ups for each grouping of voices.

Unique Power Allround Soul

Here’s the ranking, with the number of votes received, a brief phrase to hopefully help you remember them (what they were wearing, what they sang, their group, etc) and what category they were in (Unique, Power, Soul, Allround.) If their name is in italics, we didn’t see much of them so far, not even as reaction shots or interviews. Some of my notes to jog your memory may refer to my other write ups.

1. Lee Gwangseok 32 leather jacket U 2. Park Jeup 28 pussy bow P 3. Kang Hayoon 27 cravat cutie U 4. Lim Sanghyun 25 purple cardigan S Kim Seongjeong 25 leaping lizard S Taewoo 25 black shirt U Jung Soomin 25 Chicago S 8. Sunyoul 24 Up10tion U 9. Kwon Euibin 24 beige cardigan U 10. Jay Chang 23 Boys Planet S 11. Jeong Inseong 22 from KNK A Hwang Inhyuk 22 light red sweater A Yeo One 22 Pentagon A 14. Hong Sungwon 21 Desperado U Bitsaeon 21 M.O.N.T A 16. Kim Seohyung 18 light blue shirt U Donghun 18 A.C.E. (Detective) S Jo Hwan-ji 18 uniform/Pixar P 19. Ji Yeon-woo 17 suspenders A 20. Seokhwa 15 WEi S 21. Choi Haram 14 introverted Haram P Jeon Woong 14 AB6IX U Lee Hwanhee 14 Boys Planet/UP10tion U 24. Jeong Yunseo 13 red and black leather A Wumuti 13 Boys Planet U Park Joohee 13 white jacket S Yoon Inhwan 13 drank all that milk P Hong Seongjun 13 white jacket / BDC A Neon 13 green sweater U Kim Minseo 13 Rolling in the Deep P 31. Taehwan 12 Vanner A Ma Jaekyung 12 Romeo S 33. Lee Minwook 11 Newkidd/ vest lover S Geonu 11 Just B /pink hair A Choi Suhwan 11 Energetic A 36. Hyukjin 10 red suit P 37. Bain 9 orange-red hair S 38. Seunghun 7 anxious from CIX A Lim Junhyuk 7 former Day 6 P 40. Jang Intae 5 Missing You A

I can’t understand how on earth Kim Minseo was rated so low. I also think that Lee Minwook and Bain were much lower than they should have been. The fact that Yoon Inhwan ranked as high as he did is surprising to me -- for me, it was one of the worst performances of the teasers. I guess the guys and I have different taste in singers.

After the reveal of the rankings, we hear from a few of the guys about how they felt. We hear from Lim Junhyuk and Seunghun about how they feel about being ranked so low, but we don't hear from Intae, despite him coming in last. Ah, MNET. I didn't even have time to miss you.

Dahee announces the next mission: The “Prefour” mission. Bain says, in English, “What’s that?” (He’s sitting next to Jay and using it as an opportunity to practice his English.) It’s where they make groups of four and perform one of these songs.

And you’re sitting there saying to yourself “TOMBOY AGAIN?!” but no, it’s a different Tomboy.

The songs are:

Breath by Park Hyo Shin

Something Like That by Park Hwayobi

Beautiful by Crush

Delcalcomanie by Mamamoo

다시 사랑한다 말할까 (Shall I Love You Again?) by Kim Dong Ryul

Ditto by New Jeans

Don't Go, Don't Go by Brown Eyes

If You by Big Bang

Tomboy by Hyukoh, a huge hit from 2017

Every Moment of You by Sung Sikyung

It’s is a good reminder that for Koreans living in Korea, kpop is just part of their musical sphere of influence, along with ballads, trot, and other genres. Often enough on Korean top 40s you’ll see very popular ballads, mixed in with the kpop. I think some Western listeners also like some ballads, but I think most of us aren't as interested in them, so we can easily forget how important they are in Korea.

To be clear, I differentiate between a song that is slow and an actual k-ballad. I just don't like 99% of k-ballads. The arrangements are usually straightforward and they’re played on vibraphones with cheesy percussion. Also, the style of singing is just not my favorite. and are always delivered in the most overwrought singing style ever, with way too much vibrato. It can border on operettic but a lot more nasal. I am not saying, for example, that the singing in the original of “Shall I Love You Again?” linked above is bad. I just saying that it’s really not to my taste. But meanwhile, if you watch the clip, the audience is so into it. They’re like, in tears. So who am I to say that it's bad? This is a genre of music that just isn't for me. I will have to do my best going through this show.

Anyway, everyone’s a bit intimidated by the songs, many of which seme to be well respected classics. Detective Donghun from A.C.E. wonders out loud who would be able to sing Ditto because it has so much English in it. That must be a real issue for idols these days. Ditto is at least 50%, maybe 60%, English.

Speaking of English, my love Bain is speaking it still. When the guys find out that they get to pick the songs they want to do based on the ranking they got in the first round, Bain says, in English: “I wanna go home!”.

Dahee explains that though the song is a group challenge, they’ll be evaluated individually. A “top tier” contestant will be chosen from each group and will get a benefit. The lower ranked trainees are spurred to promise to try even harder.

We see a super brief clip of the guys running in all directions to choose the song they want -- I’m assuming we’ll see more of this later -- before we jump to… some time later.

And we'll pick up there in the next post, when we'll actually cover some of the performances! Thanks for your patience and I'll see you soon.

XOXO BPR Noona

#build up #mnet build up #bpr recaps build up #up10tion #a.c.e.#m.o.n.t.#vanner

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consumeronionbulletin · 1 year ago

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My Lovely Liar (2023)

This drama was soo good, right up until it wasn't...

Sometimes a great drama runs out of energy right at the finish line. And it's more disappointing than a drama that just plods along the whole way.

What Worked

The premise is simple and amazing: Sol-Hui has a gift / curse that she can always tell when someone lies. It's made her lots of money and no friends. Suddenly, this reclusive neighbor with a mysterious past moves in and everything changes.

At its best, the show was funny and thrilling and cute and romantic, and I loved the first 11-12 episodes.

What Didn't Work

Then they took us on a small town murder mystery, and dragged the story around without advancing the plot, and the big reveal was (*spoilers**spoilers**spoilers*) the closeted gay producer accidentally (?) did the murder and got away with it while accidentally (??) framing his best friend / secret love interest (*end spoilers*). At least the made him feel sorry for what he did, but really it should have been (*spoiler*) the father (*spoiler*) in my opinion. That man deserved to go to jail in any case.

The Performances

Kim So-hyun as ("Liar Hunter") Mok Sol-hui. Amazing to watch. She knew when to lean into the campy parts, and when to be serious, but mostly she knew how to make the premise (which could be ridiculous at times) completely believable.

Hwang Min-hyun as ("Naive Composer") Kim Do-ha. I got frustrated with the choices they had him make. He was too naive and probably should have been killed multiple times, and yet they just let him go on being oblivious. That was mostly on the writers, but still it made me want to throw things. You can't trust crazy guys with knives who want to murder you! You can't trust cops! You really can't trust cops that used to date your current girlfriend! Not even once!! On the other hand, his chemistry with Kim So-hyun was very good.

Seo Ji-hoon as ("Mr. Policeman") Lee Kang-min. On a different kind of show, this guy would have been a secondary villain. Instead he was the second male lead with a sad backstory. He had a few good moments, but the writing made him very vanilla, and Seo Ji-hoon didn't really add anything to him.

Lee Si-woo as ("Crazy Ex-pop star") Syaon. I loved to hate her through most of this, which shows that Lee Si-woo did a good job with the material. It was like a Makjang pop-princess wandered in from another show and started messing with the plot and I enjoyed that. Then they had to clean up her act for the obligatory happy ending, and she was less interesting.

Yoon Ji-on as ("Mr. CEO") Cho Deuk-chan. This was the worst case of character assassination in favor of a lame mystery that I've seen in awhile. The actor made it kind of work, but this was just a poor writing decision. It may have been okay, if they'd let us know the character better and peeled back the layers the way they did with Choi Eom-ji, but it would definitely have changed the tone of the show. They could have had a light hearted show, or they could have had a good mystery, but these writers at least weren't able to do both.

Nam Hyun-woo as ("The worst little bro") Cho Jae-chan. I really despised this guy throughout most of the show (so a good acting job, really), then they turned him into a patsy in service of the stupid mystery and toned the character down a bit, and it just made him less interesting. Decent performance with what he was given.

Park Kyung-hye as Cassandra. It's always great seeing Park Kyung-hye at work, and I loved the dynamic between her character and the rest of the Liar Hunter gang. They could have ditched some of the other b-plots and given us more with her and I would have been happy, but I still liked what I got.

Jin Kyung as ("The Worst Mother") Cha Hyang-suk. Again, another Makjang character let loose on an unsuspecting population, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Well until they decided to try and fix her messy relationship with Sol-hui's father, but that was still kind of okay.

Seo Jeong-yeon as ("Bad Politician Mother") Jung Yeon-mi. I liked how terrible this character was. I just wish they'd had the courage to let her be terrible. I feel like there was this need to undercut her ambitious nature that they wouldn't have bothered to do with a similar male character, and that was frustrating, but the performance was still pretty good overall.

Song Ji-hyun as ("Crazy Dead Girlfriend") Choi Eom-ji. I liked how complex they made her. One of the strong points for the show was how this young woman (and her death) touched different characters lives both good and bad. There was something about her arc at the end of the show that left a bad taste, but the performance overall was good.

Kwon Dong-ho as ("Walking Assault Case") Choi Eom-ho. This was another example of a Makjang character let loose, but I think they needed to reign him in just a little bit. Just did way too much assault, fraud, and general criminal behavior without any consequences and it frustrated me.

Seo Hyun-chul as ("Real Folk Blues") Jang Joong-gyu. Honorable mention to the guy that ran the jazz club, just because he was fun to watch and I really liked his interactions with the other characters.

The Other Village People. I kind of didn't care about the other business owners in Yonso-dong. Sometimes it was amusing, but mostly it was just okay. It was kind of fun watching the bakery owner dump flour all over the shifty real-estate people's office.

Everyone else. The bodyguard was fun at times, but overall not that interesting. The subplot with the up and coming wanna-be pop stars was lame. The stuff with the terrible dance coach who went after Syaon was frustrating and a little lame. Also, the cop stuff was kind of cute, but I still don't like cops. At least the crooked cop that got paid off by Bad Politician Mom was somewhat realistic. Mostly with the apathy, low pay, and general lack of accountability.

TL; DR:

Overall a good show that kind of limped into the finish line. The cute romantic stuff was very cute, the lie detector hijinks were very amusing, and the trauma bonding over terrible parents was also fun to watch. Just wish they'd made a few different choices.

#my kdrama notes #my lovely liar #weird mystery stuff

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sarangkstars · 3 years ago

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Jugglers

It has the fantastic ROM COM formula usually used in Korean dramas: two extremely attractive people who hate each other at first and then fall hopelessly in love, a rather dorky friend, almost perfect girlfriends, faithful colleagues and a common enemy - or in this case, two enemies. I really enjoyed this drama so much and it will stick in my memory. Plus the boss-secretary-rom-com easily wins my heart and better yet if they live under the same roof. Aww

Choi Daniel as Nam Chi Won - Despite appearing to have a cool and distant personality, he is an adorable geek who loves quotes from manhwas and with an upright and sincere character. And is not afraid to show the world his love for Yoon Yi, even if everyone says otherwise. And I have to say, Choi Daniel is just phenomenal as our leading man. Steamy!!

Baek Jin Hee as Jwa Yoon Yi is a strong, independent woman who is passionate about her work and does it flawlessly. Her compassionate and generous personality demolishes all of Chi Won's defences until he learns to trust and love her.

Yoon Yi and Chi Won together have fantastic chemistry and it was a pleasure to see all the romantic moments between them. It was exciting to see the main actors having to discover their feelings for each other and getting into awkward situations in between. Having to live under the same roof and eventually starting a cute journey of falling in love while learning what they really wanted in life.

Chi Won and Hwangbo Yool (Lee Won Geun) - Working at the same company as Chi Won, Hwangbo is the head of the sports business department. He is the owner's grandson and seems to be irresponsible and just thinking about having fun. The bromance with Chi Won, who he considers to be his brother from another mother and whom he follows like a lost puppy, despite Chi Won's constant attempts to evict him will help him grow.

Hwangbo Yool and Wang Jung Ae (Kang Hye Jung) are our second leads and they make a pretty funny duo that deserve to be mentioned because they are a very important part to this story. Bo Yool is the boss of secretary Jung Ae and they are both excellent people who have their own story and will help our heroes get along.

The secondary actors, mostly the team of colleagues and employees of Yoon Yi and Chi Won were well written and all had relevance to the story.

The villains, in this case secretary Yoon Yi's former boss Bong Jang Woo (Choi Dae Chul) and managing director Jo Sang-moo (In Gyo-jin) are quite absurd and over-the-top and that makes the conflicts a bit annoying and irritating, at least for me, but for those who don't mind that, it's upbeat in a good way, and therefore less frustrating or difficult to watch.

#jugglers #kdrama review

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katierosefun · 4 years ago

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well, here we are! june basically flew by and it was a little rough, but we’re back with some long recs on cool things i’ve read/listened to/watched, and i’m about to force everyone to sit down and listen to my sleepover-esque ted talk in which i give unwarranted and unasked for rec lists. so here we go!

kdrama:

while you were sleeping

okay, so i tried to watch this kdrama when it came out in like...2017, i think? but for some reason, i wasn’t able to get past the first episode. i don’t really know why? because it’s so beautifully shot, and i super love the premise, which is basically this girl and this guy are somehow able to see things that are going to happen in the future...but only in their dreams. this whole kdrama really handled the plot super well--each episode honestly felt like a movie in itself, and the filming was just stunning, and i think this has to be one of the most visual kdramas i’ve ever seen. each character is also super interesting and complex on their own, and i really loved seeing such a strong cast of characters interact with each other in this world.

i think the only slight downside of this kdrama was that i couldn’t really get invested in the romance? i’m not quite sure why--i found both lead actors’ performances wonderful, and don’t get me wrong, i did think they were cute together as the drama went on, but i still couldn’t find myself buying into the romance until maybe relatively late in the drama (like...ep 11 or so? ep 16 was honestly when i realized that awww, wait, they’re actually super cute). but then again, i feel like the writers weren’t really prioritizing the romance either--i think they really wanted us to think about the beauty of dreams and redemption and how everyone can touch another person’s life in some significant way, so i can’t really be mad about it!

but anyways, overall i really enjoyed this kdrama and watched it all a lot faster than i thought i would! SOLID music, beautiful cinematography, good acting, mostly good writing, and some really memorable characters! def. a must-watch if you love suspense, aesthetics, and some wonderful characters.

the ghost detective

i’m someone who doesn’t like horror or scary things at all, but i was so intrigued by the plot and whatever material i saw on tumblr, and...of course, choi daniel, lee joo young, lee ji ah, and park eun bin. honestly, this is just a really wonderful and really underrated cast, and they really all brought out their a-game for this 32-episode supernatural / thriller / horror drama. basically, this kdrama follows the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out who murdered her younger sister...and of course, there’s something supernatural going on.

honestly, this kdrama was such a ride. i loved the crime-solving aspect of it, and i was really in love with the interactions between all the characters, esp. that of eun bin and daniel’s characters. (guys...they’re so ride and die for each other. there’s also so much yearning. so much yearning in this kdrama, it just about killed me--)

the villain was absolutely, appropriately, elegantly creepy, and like...scary beyond belief. basically, the villain (lee ji ah’s character) feeds her victims these harmful thoughts and ultimately get them to kill themselves. it’s sad and haunting, especially when you see that the victims tell their victims “don’t listen to the bad things. try only to listen to the good things”. and...yeah. themes of how to handle all of these bad feelings inside of you really came through in this kdrama, and there were a lot of themes of suicide and the kind of rage and sadness that comes with that. (also! if you’re a fan of lots of angsty/whumpy situations....this kdrama definitely does not hold back with all of your fave whump/angst tropes! literally! every! episode! i! had! to! lie! down! because! too! powerful!)

school 2013

(aww, look at this precious cast…as though they didn’t all make me ugly cry at least five times—)

yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ve talked about this kdrama ad nauseum, and i know i watched it last month, but as i was studying for the lsat, i really, really, really needed some comfort. most notably comfort re: studying life, academics, how difficult it is to study but also be uncertain of your dreams…and if you are certain of your dreams, how that sometimes requires studying but that just makes life all the more overwhelming…can you tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot

i’m not going to ramble more about this kdrama considering i already have done so multiple times, but i enjoyed this rewatch and honestly,,,my love for this show has just grown even more. there’s a good reason why people consider this a comfort kdrama, because. i consider myself deeply comforted. also, i’ve been listening to the ost for the whole month. it’s become a problem. but sometimes. sometimes you need to listen to songs that feel like someone’s patting you on the head and telling you don’t give up, set down your burdens, don’t think you’re alone and dream whatever you want to dream, go wherever you want to go. i’ll stop talking now, but god. when i say that i think everyone who has ever felt incredibly tired by work or school and just wished for someone to give them a big hug either then or now...god. this is just one of those kdramas that i think honestly touched so many people’s lives, and i’m very grateful for the cast and crew and writers for ever bringing this story to life. :’) (god, okay, now i’ll stop talking before i make myself cry i’m fine this is fine)

your honor

so, i watched this kdrama thinking that it would be light and funny given that yoon shi yoon is the main male lead, but boy was i wrong--don’t be fooled by these happy little faces, this kdrama is heavy. this kdrama is about a young man (with a criminal record) who winds up impersonating his twin brother, who happens to be a judge. we also have a trainee who, after seeing the legal system fail her older sister, is on the rise to dispense justice through the courts the best she can.

honestly, the first few episodes were rough, mostly because of the content. big trigger warning for rape, violence, and sexual harassment at work. this kdrama really didn’t hold back when it came to addressing how the very people who use the law can also be the very same people who manipulate and abuse it. because of that, i found this kdrama incredibly powerful. that said, it certainly had its lighthearted moments too.

overall though, i liked this kdrama. the main characters were incredibly complex and genuinely the type to make me believe that for all the injustices in the world, there are still and always will be people fighting for the right thing. as someone who wants to enter the legal field, this kdrama was just uplifting. i was so blown away by the absolute rawness of the main two leads, esp. yoon shi yoon, who i’ve only ever seen in super lighthearted kdramas. so this was a really interesting change of pace, and i genuinely enjoyed watching this!

waiting for love

so this kdrama is just two episodes, and what’s better is that it’s available on youtube! it’s about two college students--a young woman who’s been hurt by falling in love with jerks now just wants to date, not really fall in love...and a young man who’s excellent at giving dating advice except he’s afraid that he’s never going to actually fall in love, so he just dates a girl for the sake of dating.

now, i kinda thought that this show was going to be kinda lighthearted, a little shallow--but it was weirdly...comforting? idk, i found myself liking it a lot more than i thought it would be. this is far from the perfect kdrama, and i kinda wished that we got more than 2 episodes because i think some of the plot points could have been better expanded, but...there were genuinely a lot of scenes that made me think a bit more about what it actually means to be in a loving relationship--like how it’s not enough to just put on a happy smile and eat meals together, but like...you know. there has to be trust and actual liking and also, yeah, maybe a bit of frustration in order to actually know whether a relationship is real or not. and given that the characters were all discussing the pressure on getting married and romance esp. when you’re in your twenties...idk. makes you think about are you dating someone for the sake of appearances? or do you genuinely...like them?

there was also quite a few tropes that i personally adore in this kdrama, which helped balance out the stuff i found more tiring. there was a lot of the “right person, wrong time” stuff going on (you really want the two main leads to get together after a certain point, and you just keep holding your breath whenever they walk past each other and beg please please please let it be this time...), and also that good old “two strangers fall in love with each other purely over writing to each other” (god. first the half of it, then me & au, then greenhouse podcast...something about this trope huh). that said, there were def. some parts that made me “:////” because some of the characters were kind of frustrating, but i’m gonna chalk that up to good writing since i think i was mostly mad about how i knew people like some of the characters lol. overall, i think this might be at least semi-enjoyable--it’s probably not something i’ll watch again, but it def. made me mull over what it means to actually be in a loving relationship, esp. if you’re in your twenties and everyone around you seems to be in happy romantic relationships/getting engaged and whatnot.

movie:

columbus

i’m a firm believer that there are some movies that are meant to cheer you up, some movies meant to make you cry, and then there’s some movies that are just meant to...sit with you. and this movie is definitely one of them. this story follows casey, a high school graduate, and jin, the son of a famous architect. the two of them are both so incredibly exhausted with their lives (casey with her constant worry about her mother, who’s a recovering drug addict; jin with his surface-level lack of concern for his comatose father). in their small town of columbus, indiana, the two of them bond over architecture and just. being quietly there for each other.

this movie’s been compared a few times to lost in translation in the sense that there’s this not quite romance between the two leads, who have a bit of an age gap (john cho and haley lu richardson have about 20 between them!). to be honest, i didn’t really get the sense that there was supposed to be a romance. if anything, it just felt like...two really lonely people finding each other. definitely not a simple friendship--definitely not a familial kind of relationship, definitely intimate.

idk. i think this movie might not be for everyone--i definitely agree with a lot of past reviewers that this movie is on the slower side. there’s some stuff here about complicated relationships with parents, a lot of cool architecture, really beautiful shots...and overall, it’s just...quiet. it’s lovely, and i can’t really stop thinking about it. it’s subtle, bittersweet, and oddly compelling. might not be the kind of thing you’d want to watch in the middle of the day, but if you’re a little sad and in the mood for something not to necessarily lift your spirits but...at least acknowledge them and sit with you, then...this is the movie to watch. idk. i felt kind of crummy the day i watched this movie, and i felt as though someone just sat next to me on a park bench until the sun went down. (mayhaps specific but hush, i’m writing this right after finishing this movie, so i’m...feeling a certain way.)

wish dragon

i watched this movie right after watching columbus because a) decided i was in the mood for something lighter, and b) i learned that john cho?? voiced?? the dragon?? (caroline your crush on john cho’s jumping out this month...)

but anyways! i loved this movie a lot. it was so satisfying? like, just narratively speaking? and the animation was wonderful and also weirdly smooth and satisfying, and there were a lot of funny and touching moments. this movie’s about this young man named din who stumbles upon a magical teapot that holds the wish dragon long--long has to grant din three wishes, and yes, i know, very aladdin, but that said, this movie has so many original twists that it feels weird to call it an aladdin retelling. it really did feel like a movie completely on its own, which i applaud the writer and director for!

i don’t want to spoil too much of this movie, but something i really enjoyed was that din’s main wish is just to see his old childhood friend again. idk, i think we all have that one friend from when we were really little that we miss--and this movie really dug into that, as well as themes about parents wanting to do the best they can to provide for their kids, and!!! and long the dragon gets his own storyline and amazing character development too!!! i was honestly just amazed at how this movie fleshed out the characters so well and had so many wonderful themes that just made me tear up. guys. this movie’s great. highly recommend for its wonderful characters and the power of friendship. just a grand old time in general. :’))

searching

yeah...yeah, i wasn’t kidding about my crush on john cho this month. yes, i watched three of his movies within 24 hours. this movie is about david kim who’s looking for his missing 16 year old daughter, margot. this film is honestly noteworthy for many reasons, one of them being that the entire movie is told through like...a laptop screen, as in we kind of follow david’s frantic search through facetime, facebook, tumblr...which i honestly didn’t think i’d be into, but whoo boy, i was wrong. it just added to the whole addictive quality of this movie, as it usually does when it comes to anything from the thriller genre.

but besides this just being a straight up addictive thriller with absolutely mouth-dropping twists (but like...good twists, and smart twists, good god--), this movie was just...touching? there’s so many themes related to what grief does to a family (because we learn within the first 10 minutes that the mom died due to cancer), and there’s just...something really fragile about relationships between surviving family members. i was absolutely blown away by john cho’s performance as a tentative and grieving widower whose world just absolutely falls apart in his search for his daughter. this movie was just so...real because of that. like, yes, this movie has all of the suspense that you would expect this kind of movie to have, but there was also just...so many beautiful themes about grief and how far parents would go for their kids and godddd yeah no i started sobbing when the movie ended. god.

also, my bias towards john cho aside, i...really loved his character. david kim is absolutely believable, and like? he’s not just the guy putting the pieces together--he’s also the guy who misses his wife and also the guy who wishes that he was there for his daughter. he’s also the guy who pauses and re-writes all his text messages because he’s trying to be a good dad. i feel like with a lot of these suspense / missing person movies, it’s really easy to have characters who are just the stoic alpha male types--and david kim definitely had his badass moments in this movie, but like...something i just loved was seeing the vulnerability that comes with...having a missing child. being a parent. god. this movie messed me up but in a good way. i can honestly say that this movie is now probably going to be one of my fave movies of all time. highly recommend, am literally obsessed with it.

book:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

ohohoho………where to begin with this book. this was one of those books where i was like “huh i kinda don’t understand why people are so obsessed with this book”, but then i hit like...page 20 or 30 and was like “oh god i Literally Cannot Put This Book Down Oh No” and wound up finishing it in like three days (mind you, i only read at like...midnight these days. i don’t understand why either).

i finished this book at like 2 am and promptly burst into tears because this was just one of those books. it follows the story of evelyn hugo, a famous hollywood actress from the 60s or so and onwards. known for her intense beauty and her seven husbands, she’s now giving an exclusive interview to the young reporter monique grant, where she’s about to tell all about her life. this book had me dropping my mouth multiple times, and i think tjr can spin one hell of a story, with so many good twists and turns and intensely memorable characters. by the end of the book, i was actually mad that evelyn hugo wasn’t a real person, because i, too, fell a little in love with her and thought, i want to actually watch her movies. i want to learn even more about this remarkable woman.

but alas! she’s not real, so i don’t get to see her accept an oscar or look up all the tabloids about her and her seven husbands or her speculated (and very, very, very real) relationship with celia st. john. basically...i just loved this book. the last line made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit (actually...cry a lot), and y’know...i’ll admit it’s not totally perfect, but i’m glad this book exists, and i’m glad that even though tjr isn’t bi herself, was very adamant in this book about bisexuality being real. just. like. god. once again. mad that evelyn hugo isn’t real. it’s fine, she’s real in my heart.

#caroline talks #caroline recs

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closer-stars · 4 years ago

Text

Gut Feeling (4)

Member: San Genre: Angst???? Just a lot of discomfort and tension tbh Word Count: 12k (what the actual--) Requested: Yes Content: Like what I said, lots of discomfort in this. Anyways yay tension. Food mention bec people need to eat. Idol life is messy as heck. :flashes a peace sign through the stress: Also roughly around last few weeks of inception going thanxx promotions lmao Note: One month later, Part 4 is here. Apologies for the late delivery, my mental health really took a dive with everything happening lately. Things are kind of looking up but not entirely. Also this idea really marinated in my head that’s why it’s so long... So much you could do with this prompt tbh. TY to @hwaberrykiwi @yeocult @yeochikin and @barsformars for dealing with out of the blue messages regarding this fic when I was writing-- disregarding the weeks long silence from me.... hahah ily i’ll link the previous parts after a day just so this could appear in the tags lol

Part 3

The past few days have been quiet. Nothing came up between the two of you since that night. Nothing came up but things have quieted down. You can only suppose that it’s because of how exhausting it has been. At least that’s what you think when you try to rationalize it to the strained schedules getting to him now. That’s the only way you’ve been able to keep yourself together in front of everyone, by rationalizing everything that feels off with exhaustion.

It works to a degree. The makeup covers up the lack of sleep beneath their eyes but it can’t add to the needed sparkle in their eyes. That’s where the ring lights come in. Everything physical can be fixed with makeup and lighting, that’s what the industry does. But emotional? That’s another thing altogether.

Things were technically smooth sailing despite the chaos. You still go home late, just not for the usual reasons. You still go home late when the members stay late in the studio but that isn’t often at this point. They’re still human, they need rest. On the other hand, Hongjoong still goes to the studio though not to the point where Seonghwa has to pester him to go home. You bring Hongjoong home often now. During this leg of promotions, it’s Yoon who brings them to the first half of their schedules, Bae brings them to the second half-- it’s not easy waking up at 4am just to bring eight boys to their schedules. You’re in charge when it comes to the late night schedules. At least this way, you don’t have to talk to them since they’re too worn from the day’s activities.

Hongjoong sits on the passenger seat next to you, busy eating the dinner you had bought for him. The ride home is quiet, just him munching on his much needed meal and the ice cubes in your respective drinks.

“Manager-nim?” He speaks up carefully.

You hum in response, still not tearing your eyes away from the road.

“Has San been okay?”

That catches you off guard for a moment. “As far as I know, yes? Did something happen?” Something that didn’t revolve around _that_.

He sips on his coffee for a moment, mulling over your words. “He’s just been in his head more often nowadays, I thought he might have talked to you about what’s on his mind.” He reasons softly against the lid of his cup. Now he’s not the type to force his members to talk to him about their issues, they do have a day where they gather and talk about concerns from the past week and the upcoming week. Despite that, there are some worries that can’t wait for the weekly session.

You hum in thought. That’s not good. “He hasn’t told me anything.” You return. How can he? He’s often at the farthest end of the car, slumped over catching up on rest. “Is there something I need to be aware of, Hongjoong?”

Your words cause him to laugh thoughtfully. “You’d think because I’m the leader, I’d know what’s on their minds…” He starts. “I don’t know what’s on his mind, much less know what could have happened. If he does tell you something that I might need to know...” He trails off, but you understand where he’s trying to get.

“I know.” You return gently. You had your doubts that he’d talk about it, especially to you. “Don’t push yourself too hard on it regardless. Though, I do think he talks to Seonghwa or Wooyoung about these kinds of stuff doesn’t he?”

“That’s true.” You can tell that the air in the car has eased a little and with that the rest of the drive has turned quiet.

Upon arriving home, Hongjoong slides off his seat, rearranging his things. Considering the two of you lived in the same building, it was still the two of you on the way up. Perhaps San learned this habit from his hyungs?

Now that you think of it, you wonder how San has been. You know how tired he is when there’s no cameras around but still he gives so much for the team.

“Manager-nim?” He says carefully while the two of you wait for the elevator to bring you to your designated floors. You respond with a soft hum. “If the boys start to act up, please tell me. I know you’re the manager but sometimes they get too much to handle, I can keep them in line too.” His words cause the corner of your lips to quirk upwards, touched by his worry.

“It’s okay, Hongjoong. I can still handle you boys.” You tease lightly as you shake off his concern lightly. When the elevator alerts the two of you that you had arrived at his floor, that’s when he realizes that you didn’t press your floor number.

“Hey--!” It’s moments like this that remind you that they’re the youngest in their families. At his complaint, you shoo him off.

“Come on, Hongjoong. You need your rest more than I do.” You wave him off, chuckling at his shocked expression. Maybe being someone who works behind the scenes had its perks even outside the work environment. He pouts at you, unable to argue and he bids you good night, thanking you for the safe trip.

--------

He arrives at the dorm, which was mostly peaceful save for the frantic clicking of the mouse and keyboard tapping. At least there wasn’t much yelling but he didn’t need to peek into their rooms to know that the guys were playing an intense League match. When he gets to his room, he’s greeted by Seonghwa doing his usual home training. At least he had a shirt on this time.

“I thought today was your rest day.” He said as he hangs his bag on the corner of his bed.

The other, still in the middle of a plank, manages to rasp out. “Habits. Hold on.”

Hongjoong lets him finish his set as he changes into something more fitting for sleep. From the way his hair sticks to his skin, Hongjoong could only guess that this was probably his last set for the night. “Go shower first stinky. We can talk after.”

Seonghwa looks at his roommate in a mix of fake insult and annoyance. “Say that to me after you do your laundry.”

He looks at his laundry that seems to agree with Seonghwa. He carries the basket to their washing machine. “Now go stinky.” He repeats much to the other’s dismay, already loading it into the machine.

After Seonghwa has done his usual lengthy shower-- seriously what does he even do? The two fill the other on how the past few hours went. Particularly, the talks with San and you.

Seonghwa starts it as he dries his hair with his towel. “San didn’t really say much. He was pretty vague about it, something about feelings and something about wanting a re-do.” It’s usually like that at the start for San, he noticed. Always at a loss for words until he lets himself be alone. Regardless, if there’s something he and Hongjoong have, it’s the sixth sense when it comes to the members.

The leader hums in response. It was a bit of an expected move from the younger one to keep to himself, he does see a little of himself in that kid. He wasn’t that successful in his conversation with you either. “Yeah, they didn’t really say anything with me either.” He does recount to the best of his memory the entire conversation.

The two of them sit in silence, both concerned over how this could affect the group. Seonghwa then sits up, eyes shining with alarm. “I think he confessed to them.”

Hongjoong stares at him, dumbfounded by how he reached that conclusion until he remembers how the members often tease him when you’re not around-- he didn’t really join in on it. How he seems to show off a little more whenever you’re around. It’s to the point he even waits for you after you park the car, none of them even do that. He buries his face in his hands, he knows how San takes rejection so harshly. It’s one of the reasons that propelled that boy to dance like his life depended on it. “And I’m guessing, they didn’t accept the confession.”

The words make the oldest wince. “Choi San….” Seonghwa groans, dropping his body onto his bed. The two of them realize that there’s a situation on hand and they’re not really sure if the other boys know. Some of them could, some of them might not. “We should probably ask Yunho or Wooyoung if he has said anything in the near future.”

Hongjoong nods at the suggestion, suddenly too exhausted to say anything else. “Let’s just get some sleep for now. We still have one more leg of Inception promotions this coming week.”

Seonghwa switches the lights off, knowing full well that once Hongjoong’s in bed, there’s no getting him out of it unless it’s the next day. “Sleep well stinky.”

“Whatever.”

-------- The Inception promotions end without a hitch… well as smoothly as it can. Considering that there’s now a quiet lull in between the promotions, the boys have been using the time to clean the choreography and eat. It’s not ATEEZ if there’s no food. You only entered the studio towards the end of their practice, slipping quietly to sit next to their stylist and Manager Bae as they fixed the last changes for their performances. The rest of the members are walking around the studio, breathing heavily after what was probably their nth run of their next promotions.

“You’re bringing them home?” You ask him as the stylists show you the plans for their clothes. You’ve seen some of these fits during the photoshoots and music video shoots but some of these were a first. You were sure the boys would look good in these. You take note of the changes, taking a few photos of the sets to transfer to your laptop.

He hums in affirmation, too busy keeping note of the changes they discussed while you were gone. You notice San’s the only one on the floor, everyone else already packing up their things.

“Are you going to stay late tonight?” You ask him, as he’s still on the floor, too exhausted to pull himself up.

“Probably not, I promised Yunho I’d play a few matches of League with him.” Silence falls on the two of you, either one unsure of how to continue the conversation, much less on how to end it. Why did you expect him to stay? For more, why did that make you feel a little heavy?

“Ah.” It was the only thing you could think of at that moment.

Your reply causes a pit in his stomach to sink. Without thinking, he returns the question for the sake of conversation, even though there was no point in it. He doesn’t know why he still wants to talk to you, knowing that talking to you only puts more strain to him. “Are you?”

At his question, you nod. A flash of confusion on your eyes that are immediately pushed aside for the sake of professionalism. “Yeah, I have to assist in the deals with the externals team. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You don’t give him another word, opting to end the conversation with a polite bow before making your way to the office. It wasn’t the whole truth, nor was it a whole lie. Regardless, you tear your eyes away from him.

Silence trails behind you and keeps San company for the next few moments. He winces to himself, not liking how things are going between the two of you. He pulls himself up when Yunho calls for him.

On the way out, you’re greeted by Seonghwa’s figure waiting for the rest of the boys. “Oh, hello Seonghwa.” You say out of surprise. “Not grabbing something to drink from 7/11?”

His eyebrows raise, not expecting someone to greet him at this time of the night. “Manager-nim!” He greets you with a tired smile. “Are you going home soon?” He asks, standing a little straighter this time. “And, I think we have enough drinks at home…” he mumbles though it doesn’t sound that convincing to you.

His question makes you smile a bit, but you shake your head at his question. “Unfortunately no. I have to do additional work to do with the externals.”

His eyes widen at your words. “Did we get more offers?”

His words make you mull over your thoughts. You know of one offer that’s already confirmed but you doubt they’ve been informed. “Let’s just say, you’re really staying true to the whole Back to Zero hint you’ve pulled during your Crescent Party.” You say with a chuckle.

He doesn’t get enough time to understand the hint you give him-- a taste of their own medicine towards ATINYs when they ask for hints. Wooyoung’s already calling him annoying nicknames to get him moving and you chuckle at the pained expression on his features. “Go home, Seonghwa. Don’t want Wooyoung to annoy you more. You’ll know this once the deals are finalized.” You bid him goodbye, sparing the boys a wave before retreating to your office.

--------

It’s already the middle of the second leg of promotions and you’re already at your last leg of energy. You probably need around two to three days to recover properly, at this rate. For now, you try to continue forward, the finish line is oh so near. You slip into the studio, not surprised to see the lights still on, but surprised to still hear ATEEZ at this hour. It’s a familiar sight in front of you: eight tired boys on the floor or slumped against the wall. Those with enough energy throw any apprehension out the window and change their tops in the studio.

“Are you staying late in the studio tonight?” You ask San as you check the time. The boys are already getting ready to head home, San on the other hand hasn’t moved an inch. He’s in his thoughts as he stares at his bag. Your question, though, brings him out of his head and he picks up himself up. It was a question out of habit, months of having done it over and over, it was still a challenge to curb such actions.

“Yeah. I need to clean my levels.” It only made sense that you’d bring home since you practically live under the same roof. Were you expecting him to say otherwise? Slightly. He doesn’t look at you but he makes his way to the computer again.

“San! You’re still staying?!” Yunho exclaims, he’s the last out the door to which San acts as if it was a normal thing.

He laughs at the shock on his member’s face. “Relax, I didn’t like my levels in the last run so I’m doing it again. Go ahead though, Manager-nim’s bringing me home.”

“Heyy, we all know that means you’re spending another three hours.” The taller returns with a whine.

You watch the two banter, a small hint of amusement quirking at your lips but you immediately squash that. You tip your head to quietly bring the attention back to what’s at hand. “Just tell me when you’re done, San. I’ll be at the office.” Without missing a beat, you excuse yourself out of the studio. Two pairs of eyes following your retreating figure until you disappear from their sight.

Once you leave, Yunho looks back at the male with a raised brow. “San.”

The other makes a disgruntled sound at the tone of his voice. He knows what that means but he just can’t get himself to talk to you still. The taller male leaves him be and his shoulders fall once he’s left alone. No matter how many times he runs the choreography does he find himself satisfied with his performance. He can’t put his 100% into this when a part of him still lingers in thoughts of you. The song still plays on loop but he stops dancing for a moment, trying to bring himself into slowly going through each count to focus on what needs to be addressed. It goes well for the most part but in moments where he needs to catch his breath, to ease his parched throat, his mind stumbles to you. He looks at the clock on the computer screen.

At least he didn’t hit the three hour mark that Yunho betted on.

He changes into something less uncomfortable than a sweaty shirt before stepping out of the now dark studio in search of you. He sees the office not too far from where he is; he takes a deep breath, one that he associates with exhaustion rather than apprehension as he walks to where you said you’d be.

He peeks into the office, seeing you with your fingers threaded to your hair as you write and pause for a moment to shift to your laptop. He stays there for a moment, watching you work in your own zone. He watches you work from time to time, but rarely does he see you scowl at your work. The way your eyebrows furrow at what’s in front of you makes him ponder over what could be giving you a hard time. Maybe he should’ve asked you about yourself as well instead of having your interactions be centered around him. You’ve had a few talks with him though mostly centered around his experience and you occasionally have to reign him in when he’s too caught in his emotions. He wonders if this is why you fell for Seonghwa. He shakes his head to shoo these thoughts before he starts looking like a stalker outside the office, so he knocks twice to get your attention. “Hey,” he trails off, clearing his throat. “Are you ready?” He asks softly, standing awkwardly by the door once you look at him.

You look at the clock. It hasn’t been three hours, well it’s nearly three hours but not quite. “You finished early. Give me ten minutes.” You note as you pack all your things.

He stays in his spot, eyes roaming the room, seeing small things that differentiate your space from the others. You had small post-its color coded over some sheets of paper that were unreadable from his spot, typical work essentials along with a small corgi plush the size of his palm resting next to a few pens. The small thing makes him smile for a moment, once he sees that you’re ready to get moving, it disappears. He lets you lead the way to the car, popping his earphones in for the long ride home.

It’s quiet for the entire ride home, except for the radio playing whatever the public has been into. You don’t look over at San to know that he has his earphones in, neither of you try to start a conversation. Maybe it was better that way anyways.

Once you parked the car, you shake his shoulder gently to wake him up. “We’re here.” He wakes up almost immediately unlike the past times where he makes it near impossible to wake him up. He raises his head, slightly disoriented with the scattered lights in the parking lot, he looks to the driver’s seat and you’re already out of the car. He hops out of the car, running his hand through his hair as he tries to wake himself up. The car beeps and you pull at the door to make sure it’s locked. Once satisfied, you walk around and find him already by the elevator. This surprises you but at the same time were you expecting anything else?

You put on your earphones as well, as you wait for the elevator to arrive. As much as he wants to get on the elevator first, he wasn’t going to let you be on your own at this hour. The doors slide open and the two of you get on, staying on two opposite ends. Your finger presses his floor, out of habit, then you quickly follow it with your floor number. The cool metal shows a hazy image of your reflection, nonetheless you take the chance to look at yourself. Even against this material, your exhaustion is clear. Your eyes linger to the blurry image of San through the walls and his slumped figure as he looks at his phone. Thoughts of how to mend the relationship bubble in your consciousness only to be popped by the elevator arriving at your floor. “Good night.” You say, out of respect.

“Good night.” He returns under his breath, and he waits for the doors to close behind you before he lets out the breath he’s been holding. Now that it’s just him, he lets out a long frustrated groan. Why couldn’t he get himself to talk to you? To clear things out? He never gave you the chance to explain yourself or himself. He just took your lack of answer as a no and admitted defeat. Would trying to get you and Seonghwa together mend his damn heart? He’s also selfish. He wants you. He doesn’t want to lose to his hyung but Seonghwa is also his hyung. He’s someone he respects and loves like an actual brother. Another turmoil in his head as he watches the number on the screen reach his floor.

He arrives at his room, greeted by the sight of Yunho playing League without him. “Damn, look at you. You don’t need me to hard carry you through a match.” San muses as he tosses his bag somewhere in the room. He doesn’t know if Yunho even heard him over the constant comments that the game makes over each kill. Regardless, he needs a shower.

---------

He comes back from his shower and Yunho’s headset rests on his shoulders, scrolling through the internet mindlessly. “Did you get to talk to them?” Yunho asks, his eyes haven’t left the screen-- probably watching someone’s gameplay.

San lets out a disgruntled sound as he dries his hair. “I didn’t get to, they had their earphones on.” Even to him, this explanation sounds weak.

Yunho pauses the video then looks at the male, clearly not buying his words. “San.”

“I’m serious.” San interjects, his face crumpling in discomfort. “Even in the hours of my practice, they were in the office the entire time.”

“You know, if you just said you weren’t ready to talk to them, that works too.” Leave it to Yunho to cut to the chase.

His bottom lip juts out at such a strong statement from his peer. “T-that’s one reason too…” He mumbles as he climbs onto his bed, defeated by how quick it was for Yunho to see through him.

The other male stays on his seat, leaning against the backrest as he watches the other. “There’s no rush, honestly but bro, you really need to talk to them soon. Your own good is for the good of the group too.”

His words make the younger look at him weirdly. He’s aware of how his heart is on his sleeve since birth but his words make him wonder just how evident his heart is. The look on his face makes Yunho laugh softly, as much as San does his best to look after everyone, Yunho still had the upper hand of being an actual older brother. It felt like he was talking to his younger brother with how confused San was. “It was kind of obvious that you couldn’t put yourself into the practice earlier San. None of us just commented on it because we know you.”

San falls onto his pillow, half his face covered by the soft material as he shoots rainclouds at the male who is clearly unaffected by his attitude. How can he? Yunho’s right. It’s obvious when he isn’t putting his heart into it. It’s obvious when he’s got something in his mind while he practices or performs. He didn’t want to affect the boys with his personal issues. While he isn’t ready to talk to you, he needs to find a way to separate his personal life with his work life.

His roommate looks at the bothered male with a sympathetic smile. “Let’s figure this out some other time, it’s 3AM we need sleep.” He shuts off his monitor, already making his way to the lights. In a few days time, their THANXX promotions would start. San’s going to need to separate his emotions soon. Maybe those acting classes would actually help.

--------

It’s D-2 before THANXX promotions and the staff had made sure the boys were eating right. You were grateful for the existence of yogurt and fruits, otherwise having the boys eat their vegetables would be a headache. They’ve been eating enough while making sure to leave room for their rehearsals. Today’s the last day of practicing in their outfits for the future stages. Thankfully, the clothes for the first stage were already ready.

You and the rest of the staff had marked the studio with colored tape, while those who were in charge of production already rehearsed how the cameras would move. Truth be told, you haven’t kept up with the news but with how the production team was moving, you could only assume that the cases were rising then dropping. The boys do one run in their stage outfits with little to no issues-- save for San having to pin his pants. Once that was all over, the boys talked with the stylists for any minor changes and reviews for this set while you and the others removed the tape from the flooring.

The same thing happens for the rest of the night: managers eating ahead, switching around to keep an eye on their rehearsals, the boys eating later on then back dancing and singing. Perfectionists but it is expected, this song was more in their comfort zone after all. You’re the last in the office again, Manager Bae bringing them home this time. Brand deals were your worst enemy but they were a high risk, high reward if done right.

You peek into the studio, seeing the boys already packing up. Manager Bae is off to the side stretching his back after hours of moving around. You toss the keys to him to which he catches with grace, much to the group’s entertainment.

San catches your eye and you glance over at him. Something in you hardens but you try to keep it subtle. “Heading home early?”

He’s caught off guard by the question. “Y-yeah, I’m heading home with them tonight. You don’t have to wait for me.” He answers after recovering his composure. He shifts his face to your direction but you don’t meet his eyes. Silence falls over the two of you for a moment. With that, you nod at his words.

“Is that so? Then, get lots of rest tonight. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” With that, you tip your head to bid him goodbye, shuffling away from him and into your office. You don’t give him time to ask if you were going home as well.

His eyes follow your figure as you quickly leave the room and something in him causes him to let out a sigh. He doesn’t have the heart to stop you, wanting nothing but to relieve his stress with a match or two against Yunho. Hell, even just sleeping doesn’t sound like a bad idea. He lets out another sigh, shoulders dropping lower than usual before he steps out of the studio as well, greeted by the sight of his fellow members, bustling about by the elevator.

Sometimes being quick on your feet had its perks, for example, you slipped away from the boys before they could see you scurry away to your office. Once you had arrived, you let out the breath you’ve been holding in since you left the studio. Now that you don’t wait for San in the studio anymore, your schedule has gotten a lot freer than expected. While this should be a good thing, your body isn’t used to it and ends up restless. You sink into your chair, looking through your to-do list. You should be accustomed to rapid changes, but this was a change you had trouble getting used to. For months, you did your work in the studio, while San practiced his dancing and singing. It was to the point where you gave up using earphones to focus and let San perfect his technique until it became white noise to your ears. Now, the silence was deafening. Earphones are popped into your ears, putting your music on shuffle.

[ Manager Bae to Manager Chat ] Bringing the kids home today! You guys want anything on the way back?

You bring your phone up to your eyes, a frown on your lips as you think of what to reply.

[ You to Manager Chat ] Sweet Cream Cold Brew and chicken sandwich please? I’m staying in the office for overtime lol

[ Manager Bae to Manager Chat ] Call.

You look at the time. It’s 9PM. He won’t be back until 10 or 11 depending on the rush. Hell, you realized that it’s been a while since you managed to catch a breather in the office. You could barely keep your focus so you end up looking through your phone, doing the routine clean up for the sake of your phone memory.

For the sake of your sanity, for once, you don’t push yourself to work at least until your (late) dinner comes in. You decide to call your best friend, in need of an ear that would listen because shit your thoughts are just a jumbled mess now. Her phone rings on and on, until you reach the familiar beep of a call untouched. You try again but you receive the same flat note. You tap the red icon on your phone and opt to send them a message.

[ You to Jiwoo ] Need to talk to you about some personal stuff. Nothing life threatening, just super stressed.

You put your phone away and stare at your emails and paperwork. If you can’t write something up, at least you can organize something right? It’s mindless work until Manager Yoon comes back. Jiwoo replies after a while.

[ Jiwoo to You ] Good that you said it’s not life threatening. I just finished watching a zombie movie. I’m free Sunday night/Monday.

Her life choices barely faze you at this point.

[ You to Jiwoo ] Smart choice to watch a zombie movie at night. I’ll be free by like… past midnight?

[ Jiwoo to You ] I’ll buy the soju. Bring mixers and some food.

You break into a fit of giggles at her words. A serious heart-to-heart talk was always capped off with a chill drinking session at her place.

You continue to organize your files, moving some of the files to a hard drive, especially now that some of these files were for the duration of Inception promotion. As you go through your files, you’re greeted by various selfies from the boys, some expected from twenty something boys, some looking very much boyfriend-dol of them. Most of them coming from Seonghwa and San, though San beating the older by a few more. You remember how the conversations always went; San would always ask which one was better, you always doubted the legitimacy of your decisions as usually the social media staff were in charge of that. He would pester you still for which one was better until you chose something. Now that you look at them with the current situation in hand, things slowly made sense.

A heavy sigh slips through your tired lips as you watch the bar fill up, waiting for all these documents and photos to be in your hard drive. You know some of these photos were going to be needed for their birthday videos and other special events so it was best to not delete anything. Somehow your need to organize everything overpowers the small part in you that wants to process and understand everything that happened between you and San.

“I’m back!” Manager Bae declares much to your surprise. You jolt up in your seat, surprised by his sudden presence and you look at the time. 10:15PM.

“No traffic?” You ask and your eyes trail to the food in his hand. He catches how your eyes look at the bag of food instead of at him to which he laughs, like manager, like idol after all. The older male places your food on your table before he settles down by his space.

“Surprisingly none,” he starts, while you rummage through the bag for your sandwich first. “The boys fell asleep fast in the car too so things went smoother than expected.”

“They’ve been constantly on the move since September, haven’t they? It’s bound to catch up to them.” You say before taking a bite. With your free hand, you skim through your documents and emails. “After this round of promotions, they have a show with Kakao plus acting offers already. It’s almost still full speed ahead for them, still. You told the boys of the acting offers already didn’t you?”

“Yeah, Yunho and Jongho are the most excited for it. Expected since they’re the most vocal about wanting to venture into acting.” You could already picture the looks on their face when their wish came true and it brings a small smile to your face. It’s moments like that that makes you think your work is worth it. A few minutes pass as you get halfway through your sandwich and Manager Bae stands up again, ready to call it a day. “Are you still working overtime?” He asks as he glances at the time.

You take a sip of your coffee, feeling a little awake from the gradual caffeine fix. “Yeah, probably just two hours more. I just want to finish all of these deals and stuff.” He looks at you with a hint of concern but nods. You were a stubborn one, not wanting to stop when the finish line is so close.

“Don’t forget you got the car keys for tomorrow’s schedule.”

That makes you pause to do the math of your travel time plus sleep. You have enough time if you keep to your schedule. With that set, you flash him a reassuring grin. “Duly noted with thanks. Get some sleep already, you’ve been on your feet since early morning.” You say as you wave him goodbye. He laughs at your choice of words but lets it be. With that, you’re alone again. Alone with your thoughts and your work.

Maybe silence wasn’t the best way to deal with this.

---------

[ You to Jiwoo ] Fuck it. I’m gonna send you voice notes of everything that has happened. Cause I swear if I don’t get this out of my system, I might just lose it.

You look at the text you composed for a few moments, you’re in bed now, drying your still damp hair. You remove everything and write everything down in your notes app instead. There were things that were better mulled about first instead of being spoken about recklessly. The blank message box taunts you to say something but you don’t. Instead, you put your phone away and ready yourself for sleep.

---------

You wake up to your phone buzzing reminding you of the new day. The last you remember of your hazy dream was San. [dream dialogue?] You’re not sure if that was a good dream or not, details fade before you could make more sense of what it was. Regardless, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth about today.

[ You to ATEEZ ] I’ll wait for you boys at the parking lot. Be there by an hour latest.

[ Seonghwa to ATEEZ ] frodo_thumbs_up

With his reply, you trust that the rest of them would know of your order. You finally get out of bed, getting ready to start what could be another long day. Once you look presentable, you make sure you have everything you need for the day. As you make your way to the parking lot, you look through your messages, and you feel a little better knowing that all your drafted proposals have been approved and are just waiting for the green light from the partners. This also means you have to give the boys the rundown soon. You sent a message to the manager chat of the updates.

The doors open and one by one the members enter, causing the van to roar to life-- in this case, not the engine. The sudden influx of noise startles you, nearly dropping your phone in the process.

“Manager-nim!” whines Wooyoung, who was seated right behind your seat. “Why don’t you pick us up from the dorm anymore?”

You reach behind you to pat his head, or well whatever you can pat more of. “Wooyoung, you boys are already adults..” You reason lightly, trying to keep your tone light. Unfortunately, your head is anything but light. How exactly do you make sense of a dream where someone who has feelings for you appears in them? Especially a talent. You’ve heard stories, rare that they ended on a good note too.

Those words bring some sort of feeling in San. A bitterness that not even his performance insecurities could bring. He had his earphones in, not wanting to talk to anyone this early.

‘San’s not a morning person for the most part, just let him warm up on his own.’

Manager Hwang’s voice rings in your head and it’s the only thing that’s trying to reason with your uneasiness. Once you’ve appeased Wooyoung, you count the boys to make sure they’re all accounted for before driving them to the company.

The car mellows down into quiet murmurs between those who were awake and in between awake and slumber. It felt like everything was back to normal for the most part.

Things go by like normal, stylists who you haven’t seen due to schedule changes have decided to gush to you over the latest gossip that you missed out on. At least they were nice enough to gossip with you after styling the boys, otherwise that would’ve been a disaster.

“Yes, so they disregarded their contract and are dating a fan.” The tone gives you an odd impression.

“You make it sound like this isn’t the first time he’s done it.” You note, frowning at such idea entering your mind. It’s the look on the stylist’s face that tells you you’re correct.

He sighs. “I’ve worked with them for a number of years, their contract states they’re not supposed to date for at least two years after debut. This boy doesn’t even cover it up while doing his work. I’m not one to shame an idol for dating, I’m worried for those who have to cover up his trail and his members if he gets caught.”

Your blood runs cold at that. It sounds all too familiar for you. But you don’t show signs of your fear to the stylist, knowing better than to talk about issues of the heart with that at a time like this. That said, you opt to just frown and sigh at such actions. It’s hypocritical of you but you couldn’t get yourself to act any other way. “I hope he gets his act together.” You mumble.

“Who gets his act together?”

Everyone jumps at the sudden voice and heads turn to the direction. You stand up immediately after calming your racing heart. “Wooyoung! Don’t scare us like that!” While your tone carries no hint of malice or disappointment, it does carry a tone of someone who is used to his antics.

Your nagging causes him to snicker. “Sorry for scaring you.” He starts, while giving the other staff members an apologetic bow. “Who were you talking about?” Leave it Wooyoung to sniff out the sauce.

At his question, you shake your head, flicking his forehead in the process. “Nothing that concerns you, Wooyoung. You’re done with your hair and make up?” You shift the topic to something else, much to the relief of the staff and your heart.

“Yes~” God, it’s so difficult to stay mad at this boy. You watch him shuffle away to change into his performance clothes then shift your attention to the rest of the boys who were just catching up on a few minutes of sleep while waiting for their call time.

Today’s stage for them was going to be pre-recorded as they had another guesting at the time the music show will air. You wake up those who were still asleep when they had thirty minutes before their call time. “Guys, get ready. You’re going to be called to perform soon.” You say softly, not wanting to scare them. This somehow gets them on their feet quicker than expected, you look around then you spot the camera pointed at their direction. As a reflex, you immediately cover your face and you’re thankful that San managed to step in front of you, now joking about with Wooyoung as they warm up. You take the chance to slip away from the camera and you watch from a distance as they get ready, right on time for one of the production staff to usher them to the stage as they hand them their microphones.

Once they bid their goodbye to the camera and make their way off to the sides of the stage, a part of you falls into unease. Seasoned eyes look around the room, trying to spot for anything that the boys may have forgotten. ‘Mingi didn’t forget his gloves, same goes for Wooyoung. Did Seonghwa not wear his choker…?’ You ask yourself questions, all of which were answered as you look around the room and the tables. A part of you wants to assume this is just your brain drifting to that weird dream you had and for once, you hope that this logical side of you is right.

The monitor in the room has you watching how the boys do their rehearsals, two of which were to get used to the stage difference, the last being for the camera work. Once all that was done, alongside the makeup retouches, they were ready for the final run. It’s not a surprise that the last run was better than the rest, you checked your phone, it would take them roughly ten minutes to get back to the room.

It’s been a while since they finished and you excuse yourself from the mindless chatter the other staff had busied themselves with. “Get ready to pack up already.” Your voice gentle but still holding authority as you knew of their schedules. Where were the boys? You step out of the room looking for them. It took a few moments until you did find them but they made no move of leaving their spot. Something in you forces you forward and you see one of the production staff members throwing their anger on them.

“Excuse me, did something happen?” Truth be told, you hate confrontations but this is part of your work. If this argument is stretched any longer, you fear that the boys would be late to their next schedule.

The staff member’s voice booms, bouncing off the walls, as he decides to lecture you on how to make artists be aware of their own mishaps with logistical matters. While he didn’t call you names, it was evident that his anger was starting to become misdirected. It’s a miracle how you managed to hold your ground amidst the tirade despite the storm brewing behind your eyes. So you smile, bright and easy against the man. “Yes, while I would like us to deal with this now, I have to bring these boys to their next schedule--” He cuts you off with another rant, and your features stiffen. As you were about to open your mouth, you feel someone’s arms block you. A few blinks try to get you back to reality and you look at the arm in between you and the staff.

Seonghwa.

Hongjoong and San are trying to appease the staff member. Your mind goes into static, you tell the others to go back to the room to pack everything up. “Meet you by the car. Your next schedule is an hour away. Let’s hope there’s no traffic.” You say and Yunho manages to reign the rest in to do as told. Afterwards, you shift your attention back to the staff and put the two boys behind you. “I’ll cut to the chase. Here’s my contact details.” You bring out your calling card and place it in his hands. “We can arrange damage fees by tonight. I apologize for the hasty end to this discussion but the boys still have promised schedules to fulfill.” You bow out of respect and apology and leave the scene. The three following you close behind.

You know the three are talking, over what? You aren’t sure. Your mind’s on auto pilot, overwhelmed with everything. The stress has been at an all time high for you but you always push it down, focusing on what’s in front of you. Yet, the staff’s outburst is probably the last thing that’s going to break you. A subtle pinch to your arm and you bring yourself back to reality. You check their dressing room and everyone’s already gone except for the boys who were just about to open the door. “Good, let’s go.”

---------

The trip to their radio guesting was bustling with confusion towards the angry staff as they try retrace their steps towards that event. You on the other hand, are just grateful for the lack of traffic, you’ll get to the next schedule with a few minutes to spare. Nothing from their discussion enters your ears, too focused into making sure that everyone gets to their destination in one piece. You can deal with your emotions and reactions when the day ends.

On the other hand, San’s been brooding about what has happened. Seonghwa and Hongjoong ask the members about the broken mic that fortunately lasted until the end of their performance. He didn’t like how things played out there. A lot of things are brewing in his mind, all of which were related to you and Seonghwa. His shortcomings of not responding immediately also being an additional burden. The staff’s outburst stunned everyone and it was Seonghwa who managed to respond first by stepping in between the two of you. As expected of the eldest. Hongjoong and him only snapped out of it after he moved. No wonder, you preferred his hyung. Something was swirling in his pit and it wasn’t anything good.

Before San could make sense of these conflicting emotions, the car smoothly parks and the doors slide open. “We’re here.” You state and you hop off the car. He blinks out of his thoughts and follows the rest of the boys. They’re greeted by a warmer group of staff who give them a rundown of what’s to happen for this guesting. They’re greeted by lunch sets with their names on it and that was enough to elicit excited chatter from them. When the staff informs them that they’re eating as well in front of the camera as they talk about their album, it gets only louder from there. Even it gets him flashing a genuine smile, they drop their bags off in the room before being ushered to where teh show will be aired.

You followed the boys and were greeted the same way they were greeted. You talk with some of the staff on the way inside, they hand you your lunch set and you stare at it dumbfounded. “I don’t remember this being part of the fee..” You mumble. The staff catches your words and she beams at you.

“It’s on us! We know you guys have been on your feet for so long, so we figured it would be good to give you guys something to eat.” She explains and it’s another whiplash of emotions in you. Maybe you do need a day off soon. You look at the woman in stunned silence for a moment before bowing out of gratitude.

As the boys do their thing in front of the cameras, you stay in the room, slowly eating the meal you were gifted with. Your confusing dream must have been a warning of what this day would be. With this hour to yourself, your mind wanders to the gossip earlier: an idol dating behind everyone’s backs, for the lack of a better term. You shared the same sentiments, idols should be able to date whoever they want, but it’s the disregard to their contract and group that stresses you out more. One way or another, it strays towards San’s confession and his avoidance. He’s a man with his heart on his sleeve, and a head more stubborn than a bull. Just who did he think you had an interest on? You were mindlessly picking at your food, before snapping out of it when you remembered that you were eating. It took longer for you to finish your meal, not used to these portions after months of being on the move but you managed. Your phone buzzes and it startles you out of the silence.

[Jiwoo to You] What time are you free

[Jiwoo to You] need your help on making a statement.

You stare at the messages in confusion. What is she on? Just as you were about to answer, you hear the claps and the choruses of ‘You did well!’, ‘Thank you for the hard work!’.

[You to Jiwoo] three hours.

[You to Jiwoo] what happened?

You keep your phone and clean up after yourself just in time for the boys to enter the room with the same staff member telling them that the meal is free. The director follows them and thanks everyone for the successful shoot, thanking you as well for taking care of the eight boys. The praise catches you off guard and all you could do is laugh softly and thank them for their words and work.

Everyone could feel the end of the day’s schedule when they hit the road back to the agency. The boys were still in their stage outfits and they wanted nothing but to be in something more comfortable. For once they weren’t fast asleep in the car, they were too busy eating still (is there even a limit to their appetite?). All you could hear was their chewing and occasional excited yelling because of how kind the staff were to provide them with food and just let them talk about their album freely. A part of you smiles as they recount the last schedule. Let them have their fun before they end up talking about that damned mic. You had to admit though, hearing them eat is kind of making you hungry too.

“We’re here.” You state and everyone’s surprisingly finished with their meals. They’re that hungry? They hop off the car and rustle about to return into their regular clothes. They had to return these clothes to their stylists to prep them for the succeeding weeks of performance.

Once they’re greeted by their stylists, the environment suddenly booms with energy. Food really does something to these eight boys. It takes a while before you’re greeted by them in their normal clothes again. Their makeup long gone as well. They look like regular twenty something like this. Manager Yoon exits the office, taking the keys from you, the swift work surprising you.

“Hey!”

“My turn, remember? Hongjoong is staying late tonight..”

You pout, sometimes being the youngest in a company makes it easy for your seniors to tease you. After his words, you nod. “Alright, just give me the keys when you get back.” You wave the rest of them goodbye, and you look at Hongjoong who’s just leaning against the wall. “Are you going to stay late to work on music?”

He flashes an apologetic smile. “You need our side of our story too.”

This was going to be a long day but it had to be addressed. You just hope it would end with enough time to get to talk to Jiwoo.

The next few hours went by with the two of you trying to clear everything. Hongjoong recounting everything that had to deal with the microphone before the staff’s outburst. He even apologizes for you becoming the victim to those words.

“Hongjoong, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize for something you didn’t do.” You counter gently. You just wanted your bed, to just retreat from today’s events. You can write up an email to the staff in the morning.

“It’s still our fault, regardless, that you had to deal with that.” Hongjoong returns, he’s not angry at all. On the contrary, he’s frustrated. Not only does he have to deal with schedules on top of schedules, composing, and San’s emotions, he had to deal with an unnecessary outburst that shouldn’t have been directed at you.

You just flash him a smile, dropping the topic. “Anyways, I’ll relay this to the staff in the morning. Manager Bae will be in charge of your schedules tomorrow.” You look at the time, only half an hour before Jiwoo calls. “Let’s get going?”

The ride home is quiet as well, at least the silence isn’t stifling. He busies himself with his phone, looking through anything new that has happened in social media. You look at the clock from time to time, a little bit worried for your friend who would call anytime soon.

“Are you okay?” Hongjoong asks, his voice snapping you out of your anxious state.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He doesn’t need to deal with your own issues. “Can you keep an eye on my phone? I’m waiting for a call.” You ask just in time for the light to turn green.

He spots your phone, leaning against the cup holder and puts it on his lap as he goes through his phone. Fifteen minutes in and your phone suddenly vibrates in his hand. He looks at the screen and reads the name out loud. “Jiwoo is calling you..” He says, a little confused if this is the call you were waiting for.

An annoyed hiss slips from your lips. “Pick it up.” It was inevitable.

“I’m driving.” You state, asking for a few more minutes. Voice a little louder, to carry over to your phone.

“I’ll be quick, I need your help making a statement.” Her voice rings loud and clear. You look at Hongjoong, he probably put it on speaker. You shoot him a look to keep quiet.

“On what?”

“Fans found out one of my idols is dating and have been emailing the agency nonstop. I made a draft already and I need your eyes and thoughts to fix any errors.” She says and you rub your temple with your free hand.

“Send the draft to my email. I’ll get to it in forty five minutes. I’m on my way home.” You state, as you drum your fingers against the steering wheel. “I’m guessing this is what the staff was talking about earlier.” You say though a little softer.

“You know how word travels fast in this industry.” She returns with a groan. “Call me when you get home, I’ve sent the email already.”

“Will do, bye.”

She hangs up and you let out the breath you’ve been holding. The silence that hangs over you and Hongjoong is heavy. “Whatever just happened, is between us. If the others find out about it, let them find out about it themselves.” You rarely sound this stern and stressed that all Hongjoong could do is nod.

Maybe that was why you rejected San. Jiwoo was right, word travels fast in this industry, it’s why he always has to make sure the boys don’t go out of line too much for their sake. He lets them learn from their mistakes but none of them grave enough to affect their name. This one though seemed heavy, especially if fans were emailing the company already. He was going to need to talk to someone though to know how to deal with San should things go out of hand. But how can he when you tell him not to with such a tone? Hell, you don’t even know that he knows that San confessed to you.

Once you enter the parking lot you unlock the doors. “Get out of the car already, so that once I park the car smooth ride up to our apartments.” You say, a little gentler this time as you seem to have calmed down after such a bombardment of information. He looks at you with raised brows but follows nonetheless.

By the time you get out of the car, you see Hongjoong waiting for you with the doors already open. An odd weight falls between the two of you as the doors close.

“Is that why you rejected San?” Hongjoong carefully asks as the elevator slowly goes up.

Your eyes are shut as you let yourself catch a breather before answering his question. “You know already, huh.”

“Seonghwa and I kind of figured it out with his sudden mood shifts.” He reasons. “Yunho figured it out too but I doubt the others do yet.” He adds.

A groan slips from you and you want nothing to just slip down the floor. “Can we talk about this confession thing when your Thanxx promotions end?”

“That’s too far..” He tells you. For once, you can see why the members look up and respect him so much.

A pause.

“Fine, Monday. You have no schedules anyways.” This makes him smile a bit. The sooner this is fixed, the better. The conversation is fortunately, cut short when the elevator rings at your floor. “Get some sleep, Hongjoong.” You bid him goodbye as you step out.

He calls for your name carefully and you stop in your tracks. The lights from the elevator hasn’t closed either so you turn to look at him properly. “Thank you really for everything. You can lean on me or Seonghwa at least, for anything.”

Something in you softens at those words and you nod. “Yes, sleep well Hongjoong. Manager Bae’s going to be the one in charge of your schedules in the morning and afternoon.” With that he waves you goodbye, the doors closing between the two of you.

Once you were left alone, your eyes heat up but you shake yourself back to reality. “Still got work.” You remind yourself.

You don’t know what time you fell asleep, but it’s already noon. “Shit.” You immediately check your laptop if you’ve sent the revised statement to Jiwoo that you worked on. A relieved sigh escapes your lips when you see that you did. You reviewed your emails and see if there’s anything you need to get done. For the first time, you don’t have much to deal with so you check on your social media to see what’s been going on.

The idol that Jiwoo was stressing over last night is trending.

You stare at his name for a few moments, deciding if you should check what the noise is about or what the fans have been saying but you think otherwise. Instead, you opt to get ready for what’s left of the day before heading to the agency.

--------

The boys were on their phones while waiting for their call time. Some of them playing video games while the others look at social media. They see a familiar name on the trending topics and decide to see what’s going on.

Seonghwa immediately leans to Hongjoong and shows the news to which the latter winces. He looks over at San and he and Wooyoung are also looking at the same post.

“Should I message him?” Wooyoung asks, he glances over at the older two when he feels their gazes on him. “Did you see the news too?”

“Yeah. Check on him if you can.” Seonghwa gently urges, worried also for their friend. Truthfully, the rest of the group wasn’t that close to that idol but considering Wooyoung, he’s bound to have some sort of friendship with him.

San’s busy in his head, mulling over the news. They just resigned. Their friend resigned over being caught in a dating news. His eyebrows are furrowed, deep in thought as he’s just as worried as his friend but he’s worried also for you. For some reason, even when he tries to avoid you, his thoughts still go back to you. How many messages has he composed that he would delete? How many times has he tried to get himself to act normally only to fail and close himself off from you?

Hongjoong keeps his eye on his two members, clearly with their own problems regarding the news. He knows one will be fine, but the other… it’s hard to say. He looks over at Seonghwa who’s a little bothered by the entire thing as well. “We need to talk to Manager-nim later.”

“I’ll handle it. Think you can handle San for the time being?”

“Yep.”

--------

[Jiwoo to You] well fuck, regardless of the statement, they just resigned.

It takes a moment for you to understand what she was referring to but once you did, you freeze up. It’s like all your biggest fears were coming true, though not for you, it’s right in front of you.

[You to Jiwoo] drinks this weekend? Your place?

[Jiwoo to You] call.

You were going to put your own problems on the back burner for now. This girl probably had to hold so much together thanks to that guy and now things aren’t getting any better until probably months down the line. Too busy in your own thoughts, you accidentally spill water on yourself. “Please.” You murmur to no one in particular as you wrap your jacket around your waist before cleaning up the mess in the kitchen.

--------

[Seonghwa to You] Are you free later? I think we need to talk about San.

And here you are thinking you were their manager but then again, the age difference makes it easier for them to see you as their friend after work. You lean against the back rest of your chair.

[You to Seonghwa] Yeah, free by 6pm. I’ll wait for you.

Seonghwa shows the reply to Hongjoong and they relax a little. They need to know what you think of San because it was starting to get clearer that you never gave him a definite response to his feelings.

You stare at your messages, even going as far as reading through your conversations with San which consisted of various topics and banter-- with the occasional fishing for praise from him.

Why were you so affected by his feelings?

You spend some time watching some of the videos he has of the members having fun, you could clearly hear his laughter on one of them and it makes you smile a bit, missing that sound a little too much.

It takes your phone buzzing with another notification to snap you out of your thoughts. “Ah, two more hours.” You note at the time, not really looking forward to your talk.

[You to Seonghwa] do you want me to get you something to eat as well? Lol

[Seonghwa to You] hehe please?

[You to Seonghwa] lmao, fine.

Still a kid at heart, really.

--------

If the food you have on the counter from 7/11 says anything, it’s that you decided to wait for Seonghwa before eating, and that you’re prepared for his appetite.

[You to Seonghwa] I’m at the office kitchen.

[You to Seonghwa] I also have meat.

[Seonghwa to You] ^^*

His reply makes you snort, already picturing his excited grin at the mere mention of meat. It won’t be too long before they arrive at the office. The door opens mere minutes later and while you expected the room to suddenly boom with noise, it was only Seonghwa who entered the room. He catches the look in your eyes and for some reason wanted to tease you about your feelings but now isn’t the right time for that.

“Relax. Everyone else is just changing and getting ready to head home. I told them I’m staying behind to do some vocal practice.” He knows you well enough to know that you need the complete story when it comes to their schedules. Also because it’s not the complete truth.

You sigh in relief and gesture for him to sit and eat already. “Let’s talk about it when everyone else is gone.”

“No one can hear us here. The room next to us is the gym, the room next to the gym is the studio so you’re fine.”

“Seonghwa.” You say, still a little tense with the mere idea of the boys walking in on your talk.

“You can’t push this away forever.” He cuts you off, his voice taking on a little bit of strength that surprises the two of you. The look on your eyes makes him look away as he starts to eat. “I’m sorry about the tone but I’m serious. You can’t push this away and think it’ll fix itself.”

Silence falls on the two of you as you unpack your meal. You let go of the tone slipup, he was right and you doubted this issue could wait for Jiwoo. So while you wait for your respective meals to heat up, you tell Seonghwa what happened: starting from the small things San would do since your first day up until the moment he confessed to you. You admit that you were stumped into who he would think that you would fancy as you have inevitably been stuck to them since their promotions started.

That’s one thing Seonghwa didn’t expect, sort of. San’s jealousy is something everyone’s familiar with but jealousy in the aspect of romance wasn’t something Seonghwa expected in this situation. It actually makes him forget that his meal is still hot, causing him to slightly burn his tongue from the unexpected temperature spike. At the sight of his blunder, you hand him a glass of water to which he refuses as he struggles to chew the hot piece of beef. You decide to just watch his struggle as you sit there and eat your food.

Once he succeeds, he takes a few sips of water. His eyes clearly watery from the pain. “Are you okay or do you need a moment?” You ask him, trying to hide the fact that you were amused by his struggle to regain his composure. He finishes what’s left of his water before he turns his attention to you.

“Did you ever tell him your answer to his confession?” He asks you and it’s the way your shoulders drop that tell you that how you answered or lack thereof is the reason why San is the way he is. “You didn’t tell him that you like him too?”

Now’s your turn to choke on your food. You stare at him incredulously as you try to regain some sort of control with your food mishap. “W-wait..” you sputter out as you try to catch your breath. It takes some time before you’re able to breathe normally and eat. “I never said anything about me liking him?”

“You never told him?”

“How do you even react to someone who tells you they like you while nearly about to fall asleep while standing?”

“I don’t know…” he trails off, gathering the right words in his head, just as he was about to continue, the door swinging open causes the two of you to stop.

“Didn’t know you guys were still here.” To be honest, you didn’t think San would be in the studio either.

“San-ah, I thought you went home with the rest of the boys already.” Seonghwa says, straightening up as he sets his food down. The younger catches how his hyung’s eyes flit to you then to him.

The younger steps inside the kitchen, refilling his water bottle. “I didn’t. I wanted to squeeze in a workout. I thought you left already.” He returns. All you want to do right now is leave the room. He turns to the two of you once his bottle was filled and it’s unnerving to see his eyes look so steely.

“I was going to leave later but we can go home now.” Seonghwa returns calmly. His eyes return to you trying to look as if he was asking if they can go home. You knew better, the talk was going to happen some other time. With that look, you quickly finish your meal, then packing up the trash.

“Sure. Let’s go home.”

---------

The ride home wasn’t any better: both of them busy with their phones, both sitting at different sides of the car. At least you had full control of the radio.

Now in San’s eyes, he wonders why Seonghwa would’ve said he was going to do some vocal practice when he was eating dinner with you in the kitchen. He didn’t think of his hyung as someone who would lie. He’s better than that isn’t he? The younger does feel a sense of annoyance though, that he would say such only to go behind their backs and eat with you. He’s trying hard not to think of the worse of his hyung knowing well that he’s the better option between the two of you, but with the recent news of their friend resigning due to dating along with his feelings for you? It’s a challenge. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, doing his best to calm himself down.

“San-ah, your shoulders are tense.” The older’s soft voice calls him out of his thoughts and it effectively gets him to drop his shoulders. Seonghwa looks at the other for a moment then returns his gaze to his phone. He worries of what goes on in his head especially after seeing the two of you in the kitchen. He genuinely didn’t think that San would stay late especially during promotional periods. He worries that he may have made it worse for everyone, especially him and you.

“We’re here.” Your voice makes the two raise their heads from their screens. The cold lighting of the parking lot telling them that they are home. You hop out of the car first, waiting for them to get out while making sure you got everything with you. Seonghwa goes ahead, hoping that the talk (or whatever was talked about) makes you move.

San does it for you though. “So I guess I got my answer?” He pipes up, lingering around you. His gaze beyond you but at his hyung who’s waiting for the lift. Your confused look makes him hiss in frustration. His reaction makes you snap, too tired from all the mental gymnastics you do, too tired from bringing them from point A to point B day in and day out, too tired from keeping yourself together for their sake, for your friend’s sake and for yourself.

“San, how sure are you about it? All of it? You’re confusing my care for something else. Everyone is worried about you, I have to worry about you as well and while I am your friend, I’m still your manager. At the end of the day, my job is to make sure you guys are able to do your job as artists.” Your blood runs cold at how those words rush out of you, you could barely look at him. The only thing you can hear is your heartbeat and the car’s security lock. “San, how sure are you about my feelings? How are you filling in the blanks that I should be filling?”

Those words make his feet move, leaving you in the dirt as he walks over to where Seonghwa is. For a moment, you feared that he would get physical-- boy has a black belt after all. He doesn’t. He just lingers by the back, waiting for the lift. He should’ve done a more strenuous workout just so his mind would stop running.

Seeing him look like so makes you sigh. You had to admit your faults on that, you’re just so tired. You promised your day off would be after promotions but you kind of wish you could make it earlier and have it this week. By the time you arrive at where the two are, the doors of the elevator opens letting the three of you in. You don’t press your floor number first, letting the boys get their rest first. You’re getting additional hours of sleep today anyways.

“Good night.” You mutter as the two of them step out of the elevator. Seonghwa returns the greeting and so does San. Though one looks back and gives you a friendly wave, the other stalks off, shoulders just as tensed as it was earlier. You look at Seonghwa and shake your head. That’s all he needed to know as to how the mere moments he was out of earshot went.

“Joong and I will deal with him. Get some rest and think it through. We still need to talk again.”

“Yeah.” You just hope you didn’t fuck it up for everyone. Something in your gut told you otherwise.

Part 5

#ateez fanfiction #ateez angst #ateez san #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez writings #ateez scenarios #bro it's been more than a month since i posted something #weeks since i wrote something properly #lmao pandemic tingz #anyways have this #the mere idea of not being able to talk out your issues just because youre so busy is Stressful in itself holy fuck #my writings

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