#or maybe im just like this cus its the first few days and im being dramatic who knows

[yanderespamton78]

hhngngggg why must i be doomed to forever be the Weird Kid who constantly needs things to be changed around so i dont have a meltdown and is terrified of most people and cant work in any loud or busy environments and has to be with someone i know all day or i will have a panic attack and hnnhnnghnghngggg

[sillyyuserr]

Chapter 117 analysis (WE’RE SO BACK) obviously spoilers for chapter 117 and chapter 114

i cooked with this one trust

Everyones looking for them yadayadayada terukane

Yk im pretty sure this is meant to be lore heavy but LOOK AT THEM

I don’t know how to word this correctly but since chapter 115/116 between akane and teru there seems to have been something that happened in which they stopped being freaky?? 😭 like ykwim hold on

in chapter 114 this happened

completely ruined almost everything they had, but in the span of a few days, shit still going on, they havent had their deserved break yet like they got on chapter 96-97 and somehow in the midst of all this teru’s forgiven(?) him and just moved on?? Really not sure but based on what we know ab the red house the next chapter may answer some of our questions

Also, this is so little i didn’t see it the first time reading but teru goes to the drink machine thing to get one and mixes like 4 of the sodas,

takes one sip decides its shit and switches with akane’s already half drunken out of tea. Indirect kiss guys wait

Also this is JUST like the date they all went on when aoi was gone. Again, aoi is gone here too 😭 my girl getting left out of everything is acc crazy

She comes in later tho and finally gets caught up for the first time in forever MAN aidairo must hate her😭

But also

We find out mitsuba and kou are going there TOO so for the first time i think ever we have the whole gang in one spot 🤥 alot of firsts this chapter smh

ALSO an honorable mention to this i saved best for last

Sir stay away from my children

ok but fr i have no fucking clue what to say ab this cus this is either ‘teehee im right ur wrong!!~~♡’ type shit which he does alot, or genuinely like what we all think it is, which considering outside context may, in fact make it make sense trust let me explain

teru says shit like this ALL THE TIME its kind of his ACTUAL personality aside from his fake shit, like the way he is only around akane and sometimes kou (at least what we’re shown) so you’d think he’s used to this, but his initial reaction is more of a ‘um. what.’

ALSO— backround MATTERS, the backround in this one, is pure black, which is only shown during stuff LIKE THIS (important stuff) example:

Black background either means its dark, or its something important, something meant to be remembered, or something like that (probably)

and that panel had a BLACK BACKROUND

Why is this important you may be asking, it has a black backround— so it must be, right? If this was a silly little ‘teehee you can’t do this im better than youuu!!!~~♡’ then it probably wouldnt even have a half panel it’d be another one of the mini panels, but it not only had a whole panel for just this, a black background ;blocking LITERALLY EVERYTHING OUT ASIDE FROM THIS AND WHAT HE’S SAID, but also, pay attention the contents of what he said.

(a different translation, this one is easier to read)

‘you are not in any position to oppose me, are you, aoi? ♡’ could mean, A LOT OF THINGS so i’ll put them in a bulletin here because any of them make for an interesting path we may be taking on ‘this’ reality😭😓

Number 1: he could be impliying, and or reminding akane, that he’s still engaged to aoi, and that if akane still thinks they shouldnt change this reality, he should reconsider, CONSIDERING he is engaged to aoi, as aforementioned. (Most likely this one)

Number 2: the power dynamic, yes akane is a school mystery with the ability to control time itself but also, teru is an exorcist, a skilled one at that— and could probably easily overpower akane in a 1v1 (lowk hyped to see this happen pls let them fight) teru may be poking fun, or reminding akane, that teru is in fact powerful, more than he seems to keep fresh on his mind — them having SO MUCH to do

Number 3: maybe instead he just felt like teasing akane and i wasted time+space for nothing and was looking way too into it (this is supposed to be the terukane option😪)

Never once has he used this before??? Obviously you cant talk in symbols but the heart kind of implies the user of this symbol is talking in a playful/slightly flirtatious tone, hence, the reaction:

Okay okay point is i think teru is still madly in love with him

WAAAHHHH just look at him pooks who else does he do this with smhh 😓 NO ONE

which i think may be PARTIALLY true but also not entirely because mayb im just a tweaker

Me when i when i ehen you whrn you when

This may make no sense at all, or alot of sense man idk its 3:12am i go back to school in like 2 weeks i am not ready for sophomore year gn

terukane will be real one day trust, also i have a twitter i post on sometimes @/silly_evvvie <3

[savannahsdeath]

okok but like reader being tommy and maria's daughter, Joels niece, Ellie's gf, you cant tell me that wouldn't just make her the town princess <33

ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! but i think its minors safe this time!!; reader crying

writers note: its short and just two of my thoughts but still decided to post it🤗 ALWAYS when i make sum scenarios in my head i imagine im tommys and marias daughter cus !! its like so abziabshh being joels niece too ??? omg.

as tommy's and maria's daughter, the risk of you getting hurt was always lower than other residents'. being a favored princess, only doing little jobs somewhere in the town, you were living a dream of most girls your age. you didn't have to patrol, to risk your life, to be used to hold a gun like it's nothing. and you could shoot - joel teached you, just in case. but you pointed your weapon at a living target only a few times. your life was just.. calm.

there's no reason to complain, right?

right??

you hated it. you wanted nothing more than to go outside and be a hero, find supplies and kill those monsters.

you felt useless, sitting in jackson and doing only paperwork or gardening. you didn't care it was important too. you wanted to be a soldier with a holster swinging down your hip, maybe a switchblade with a cool design in your pocket. after a long day in work you'd meet up with your friends, share your memories and tips. maybe even trade some cards you found while scavenging.

you spent so much time complaining and begging your parents for a chance to go outside and face the dangers of the world. but you were always met with the same answer - that you were too precious to risk, too valuable to put in danger.

you never understood why they didn't see you the same way they saw ellie. you felt that you were capable of just as much as she was, if not more. but it was always her who got the spotlight, while you were left to your own devices, growing bitter and resentful.

one day, not just a typical day but your birthday, you found your family - tommy, maria, joel and ellie - waiting for you in the living room. you hated the awkward 'my little girl is becoming a lady!' things, but you put on the best fake smile you could. it turned to a real smile pretty fast, just as you heard about your gift.

"we'll allow you to patrol." maria smiled, before quickly shaking her head. "only with ellie, though!"

at first you stood in silence. you felt like both tommy and joel wanted you to go outside for a long time before. being locked up in a safety zone wasn't doing any good for you. if something was going to happen to jackson, you'll be left clueless in the cruel, unknown world. but how did they convince your protective mother, maria?

ellie smirked at your reaction and leaned against a wall. "you have to listen to me, too."

you knew she'll act all cocky and demanding, but it didn't ruin your happiness. in fact, you were glad to be paired with her.

and so you became one of the tough, badass survivors you wanted to. but you were still an innocent princess in their eyes.

so they couldn't stand seeing you hurt.

as soon as maria caught you sobbing onto your pillow the other day, everyone was there in a second. you were sitting in your bed, in your mother's arms. ellie placed herself next to you, caressing your hand and rubbing reassuring circles on your thigh. joel was pacing around the room, trying to not point his gun at anyone who made you feel this way, while tommy wether kneeled in front of you or joined your uncle in lame attempt to calm themselves down.

"what the fuck happened?" your dad leaned against a nearby wall.

ellie rolled her eyes, thinking his aggressiveness is useless. "it's about jane."

jane was a girl your age, freshly welcomed to jackson. she didn't know much about it so she was the first one to judge. and well... let's say she didn't like how popular you are.

joel frowned and repeated quiet; "jane?" as if to make sure he heard it correctly.

you sniffled and wiped your tears on your sleeve, feeling the overwhelming attention of everyone in the room.

"well, jane's got some real issues if you ask me." joel growled, his voice quiet and dangerous.

"indeed." tommy nodded, his mind already brewing up a plan. "we should send her packing before things escalate."

"no, we can't do that." maria frowned, thinking hard of a solution to the problem. "don't forget she's here because she saved ellie."

to that, your girlfriend quickly let you go and stood up. "saved me?!" she threw her hands in the air in frustration. "she killed one infected that was after me, i'd handle it myself just as easily!"

your mom held her hands out in an attempt to calm ellie, but the girl was too angry and frustrated to see a reason to.

"hey, hey!" maria chided her. "it's not worth arguing. let's just settle this and move on."

ellie gritted her teeth as she took a deep breath, trying to collect herself. "fine." she said through clenched teeth. "but she better not pull anything again, or i swear i'm gonna-"

"ellie!" tommy shouted, cutting her off mid-sentence.

"no, ellie's right." joel said in a stern, serious tone. "jane's no hero and we can't let her sabotage our community. she won't stop after a pathetic little warning."

your parents froze for a moment, the words finally hitting them.

"joel," maria finally started, her tone serious and concerned. "we can't just kick someone out like that. that's not how we handle things here."

"well, how do we handle them then?" joel shot back. "because letting someone like jane stay is gonna be a threat to our safety."

after a short moment of silence, maria finally spoke up again. "i get where you're coming from," she nodded and repeated; "but this is not the way we do things."

your uncle just huffed in frustration, his arms crossed. "fine." he murmured quietly. "have it your way."

ellie, on the other hand, was quietly seething. she wanted to go up to jane and knock some sense into her head, but she bit her tongue and kept quiet.

as maria left the room, ellie's rage came spilling out. "she's trouble!" she hissed, pacing back and forth. "she just needs someone to put her in her place. can i-"

"no." your dad cut you off, his voice firm. "maria said no. we're not doing this."

ellie bit her lip in frustration as she looked back and forth between him and you, torn between wanting to listen and wanting to see jane struggle, like you do now. eventually, she took your mom's place in comforing you.

with joel out of the picture, you and ellie shared a deep glance. the shared anger and frustration in your eyes was something only you two understood. it felt like you communicated telepathically. without saying a word, she wrapped her arms around you. this sort of closeness was something you rarely shared in front of others, but in this moment it just felt right. you two were bonded by the same negative feelings, and in that moment you were both on the same wavelength.

maria came back to see you, face buried in ellie's chest, as she made some shushing noises into your ear. she shared a concerned look with tommy and joel, which agreed to leave you both alone for now. your mom felt satisfied by the fact ellie decided to let jane be.

just a few days later you were able to come out without worrying about bumping into her, because even when you did, she'd apologize and quickly walk away. you never asked anyone what happened, no one told you anything too. jane wasn't the type of a person to get offended by words, so whatever happened, it must really affect her..

[ddejavvu]

ANOTHER JAMES POTTER THOUGHT LMAOOO. k. so. hear me out. fake dating!James potter. sirius brings it up, the idea of you and James fake dating, cus youre all nervous about going to a family event cus it'll just be more comments about your lack of love life constantly. so sirius mentions that maybe you should just bring someone and say that theyre ur bf; it'd be easier AND you wouldnt be alone, muddling your way through awkward social conversations and such. remus, surprisingly, agrees with sirius when you laugh at the idea. ever the empath, he softly explains how it could be a great idea for you, and it'd solve a few issues at the same time. James doesnt really say anything till sirius suggests you bring him as your fake boyfriend, and James is immediately lighting up like "im your boyfriend??? yeah??" and he just.. cannot be told, no matter how many times you stress that he'd be a fake boyfriend, he just repeats that hes your boyfriiiieeeennnddd though. plain and simple.

he definitely takes his role seriously. makes excuses like, "we have to practice kissing, id kiss you ALOT as your boyfriend, yknow. and I dont want you to freeze up if I kiss you for the first time and you dont know how to react. we MUST practice." also holdsur hand all the time now and hes shameless about it - "but lovely, im ur boyfriend im meant to hold ur hand, cmonnn". even gets jealous like a real boyfriend would now (not that he didn't before, but now he lets it show).

at the event, also has a habit of stealing you away and keeping up the boyfriend role, im saying he lays it on THICK, doesnt matter if no one else can see it or is paying attention. im talking touchy, he probably nuzzles his face down into yours alot,constant love sick expression on his face. its gets so bad that even ur brother is like "wow, didn't realise youd get an actual boyfriend. like, what blackmail do u have on him?? did you finally submit to the devil and curse him or smthn cus Jesus fucking christ sis look at him, hes mooning over you from across the room. seems like an alright bloke though. maybe."

can imagine that hes touchy and sweet and etcetcetc but also. after ur little event is done, he stops joking and pretending, bends down to you and "so can I be your boyfriend now. pleeeaase?? ur auntie even said that I must be a lovely young man.. you think im a lovely young man too, right? so I can be ur boyfriend?? ]: please?"

FAKE DATING JAMES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE he'd want to 'sell it' just like you mentioned, and he'd plan these insane grandiose gestures that have you melting for real and then you sneak off to a private area and he's giggling like they totally bought it!! and ur weak in the knees like yEah they did!!

you stress so many times to him that he's your fake boyfriend. fake. FAKE. but he absolutely refuses to say that, he calls it method acting. he's gotta get in character, he can't tell himself it's fake all the time or it'll seem fake!

no bc even before you get to your parents house he's like okay so let's practice our kisses. we're gonna need casual cheek kisses, the 'i-don't-want-to-make-a-scene kiss', the 'we-think-we're-alone' kiss, the forehead kiss, the hand kiss, the air kiss- and he's rambling on about all the ways he's gonna smooch you up and your cheeks are on fire.

the days leading up to the event he does practice! whenever you walk out of a room he grabs your hand and tugs you down to kiss your cheek, he makes you kiss him goodnight every night before bed, he even insists that you give it all you've got when no one else is around so that you get comfortable being passionate with him.

he greets your mom like the perfect gentleman, bringing her a bouquet and offering to help with dinner. but when she politely declines the help he sits on the floor at your feet while you're on the couch, spreads ur knees so that he can sit between your calves, and hangs out with the kiddos on the floor. he's their big jungle gym, constantly has children crawling all over him, and they definitely ask him scandalized questions like 'you KISS her?!?!?!' and then he gets this big shit-eating grin on his face and leans up to lay a big fat wet juicy smooch on your lips and they all chorus 'ewww!' and run off to giggle about it somewhere else. it leaves james with no more playmates, so he hoists himself up onto the couch and wraps an arm around you, proceeding to be sickeningly sweet and domestic and cute. definitely a nuzzler, ur so right <33333

YES THE TEASING FROM EVERYONE ELSE SKGNG ur grandma is like 'i'm glad you found a good man before i die' and ur auntie is like 'does he have an older brother??' everyone is enamored by this loverboy you've brought home, and he plays the part so well that no one ever realizes it was fake.

which is good, because it isn't for long. he definitely begs for you to give him a chance at being your real boyfriend, but you don't bother even giving him the chance, you just tell him you already know he'll be a fantastic real boyfriend because he went so above and beyond when it was only supposed to be fake :') ur so far gone for him and it's the best night of his life, i guarantee it :')

[thesmpisonfire]

okay im here with actual headcanons this time, no misclicks fortunately

soulfire

bad is the pillow of the group because even while freezing cold he's still somehow the warmest, so he is buffered by the whole team. he's always got an arm around someone (usually pac), wings covering as many people as he can and tail wrapped around anyone farther away. pac, tubbo and tina are usually the ones situated close to him

tina and bad are usually the ones make food or drinks that aren't alchoholic. tina obviously brews a bunch of tea during the day and theres not a lot of food but they make do with the crops and resources they have. now that the greens have merged, forever helps out now too as well as fit!

since they couldn't go home before the bounty hunting nerfs, everybody still managed to flock to each other. or at least anyone who wasnt being tracked. and when it was finally time for every to rest, they all curled up in a hole and made it as warm as possible for the new wolves joining them

they have a specific corner for sleeping in and, once everyone is awake or those who aren't can be moved, tina always makes sure that the bedding is fixed. now she has bagi to help her :]

pachalo

because i can never stop thinking about it: bad's collar was handmade by pac but was originally a bit of a joke gift considering the joke about bad being soulfire's guard dog. unbeknownst to the rest of the team, bad wears it constantly underneath his bandanna, expertly hidden. pac's the only one who knows and teases bad lightly for it

before purgatory there were very few people who got to see bad's hair, much less be able to touch it. but now the list of people allowed to touch it has pac added to it

bad likes to rest his head on pac's chest to hear his heartbeat, to make sure he's alive and to pick up on nightmares. he's very careful of where he puts his horns

fitpachalo

fit sometimes, mostly when they've exhausted their energy, bridal carries bad or pac back to base to get proper rest. this happens less with bad cus he's cautious of his energy. the first time it happened though it spooked him completely awake because he was so flustered, pac laughed at him (albiet very sleepily)

considering bad and pac are the more teasing by nature, they make it just a tiiiny bit of a game to see who can fluster fit more. pac is usually the winner 9 times out of 10

when bad gets growly, fit is the only other team member aside from maybe tubbo who's allowed to come near pac. the downside of this is that bad proceeds to get growly over fit as well. -screamingallium

YEAAAA

Under read more bc it got long :]

About the soulfire one where they can't go back home and have to huddle together somewhere, there's actually a secret nook in Soulfires old farm!! Bad made some ghost dirt blocks and hid a small room with emergency chests and a fireplace in case of need. They all huddle there when they can't be safe at home <3

ALSO YEAAAA SLEEP CORNER. At first the new members from green find it weird that they're that rich but all sleep together on a bunch of mattresses and pillows, but soon they notice its because they feel safer and comfier and warmer (even if it's just an illusion) when they sleep on a pile <3

Now to pachalo.

Omg the fucking leash thingnsnfnekgsocksfm yesyes. They know this thing will only last 2 weeks and they're gonna get freaky with it‼️‼️ pac doesn't mind bad being the mad dog but he loves to tease and wait for when bad gets too blood thirsty and he goes "don't make me leash you, bad"

It usually makes bad worse :]

Hgghhhhhh okay so in brazil we have a word called cafuné, cafuné is when you caress/play/scritches someone's hair with lots of care. Pac making cafuné on Bad and listening to him purr <3

Also aaaa bad making sure pac is alive and he will stay alive the entire night... The fear something will take Pac away from him on his sleep bc nothing is sacred in Purgatory

FITPACHALO FITPACHALO

Bad being a flustered mess when Fit just YOINKS him is such an imagery. He immediately tries to squirm away like a cat but eventually gives up

Pac is the KING of making Fit flustered, but Bad and Fit tag team to make Pac a flustered mess

Those are HIS humans (or partially humans) NOW!!! GET AWAY!!!

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

heyyyy🫶🫶 for something quick, do you have any hc of certain AUs for warner? also good luck with prom dress shopping!!💗💗

-🪷

omg hi 🪷!! thank u for the luck i need it cus im sewing some of it and im still a beginner LOLL

for au’s i do have a few that have crossed my mind recently, im sure i can do more that this if i put my mind to it

so i had this idea i scrapped before i even wrote the ferrars! reader hcs and basically its a tangled inspired au (ik super ironic bc kenji is the one tangled obsessed)

reader was hidden away at a young age because of her powers and the restablishment uses them to control the word (like how they utilized emmaline basically) so you live in this secluded tower away from sector 45

so aaron is finds you accidentally when he’s on a mission and he gets separated from his soldiers for a bit and sees the tower

then he climbs up and scares you so you hit him with a pan (LOL) and then you explain that you lived there forever but leave out your gift

aaron reintroduces you to the world and secretly keeps you at the base to hide you from his father (once he learns about what you can do)

then for your birthday he takes you to a festival thing but then your both caught by aarons dad

the rest isnt that planned out but rough synopsis of my idea

and then i often think more abt aaron and reader in present times like

imagine reader and aaron going to the met gala (aaron is ur stylist no one tell me otherwise)

or just any red carpet event, you both tend to match

paparazzi pics of you both

being rumored to break up every week or “cheating” scandals

you both arent really into social media but both def have a pinterest / instagram / maybe twitter

your instagram feed is just pictures of aaron, places, and friends and occasionally yourself

aaron’s feed is literally only pictures of you. he posts like once or twice a month. but his stories are active because he likes to post his outfits or yours.

if you post on any media platform aaron is ALWAYS the first to like & comment no matter what

people constantly asking aaron if he can fight (he always responds he can)

kenji’s the type to make u both participate in tiktoks or prank u with current trends

also you have a group chat with juliette, kenji, nazeera, and adam (he was added by accident but then stayed there)

aaron sends you random pictures of things that reminds him of you. anytime your not tigether he’s going to message you a bunch.

sugar daddy! aaron warner is literally the dream. this one is set in modern era

you are a college student struggling financially, and if you dont get money for tuition you can go to school/will be kicked out. your parents kicked you out for following your own dream, so you have no one to turn to

aaron is a ceo, happens to find you at your job as a barista. he immediately thinks tour the most beautiful person ever and wants to know you. so he shows up almost everyday to the place even though its out of his way to work.

you two get to know each other a bit and you let your financial situation slip out, so aaron offers you money, but you decline and such.

you think thats it, but then you later get an email to let you know your tuition is covered.

you feel bad and offer aaron anything to let ypu repay him in some way, so he bargains that you let him take you to places and basically date him.

so that starts your arrangement.

buys you quite literally anything — even if you dont say you want it. if you glance at it in a store, you’ll see it on your bed the next day.

you even get to move into his apartment because he hates the idea of you in those ugly small dorms, and i’ll be easier for you both to see each other. (he’s clingy)

you go with him at any event, he literally never went to any before he started seeing you now he wants to take you everywhere in pretty dresses

even when your officially dating he won’t stop buying you things, if anything it doubles.

this ones dark so TW but with the the hype of the scream movies going around it got me imagining ghostface! aaron warner working with ghost face! kenji (i imagine this set in the 90s type era bc 1st scream is so iconic)

in this au aaron’s abusive childhood enabled him to have psychopathic tendencies so he starts off with random killings then later gets into the ghostface thing after wanting to get revenge on juliette for cheating on him with adam.

aaron enlists kenji because kenji’s the one that figure out it was him, but he’s doesn’t want him to turn aaron in, he wants to help. but kenji is kind of easy to manipulate so aaron is the master mind.

aaron makes the calls and kenji does most of the killing.

aaron and you are already dating when the killings start happening

you were originally meant to be killed bc you’re bffs with juliette but then aaron fell in love with you so now he protects you (#couplegoals)

if anyone messes with you or a guy gets too close with you, they’re gone. if a person is involved with you then aaron is likely to kill, especially if he already doesn’t like them

adam is the first to go (LMAOO), then its brendan, ian, nazeera (queen was a fighter im sorry

your so oblivious to it all and very scared that ghostface going after you next. and aaron thinks that’s so cute. so much that he calls your house as ghostface just so you can call him all scared and run into his arms for protection.

and if you somehow figure it out he’s just going to kidnap you and lock you somewhere you can’t escape and leave him <3 (i’m insane for wanting that)

[teyvatrose]

NESSAAA I HAVE UPDATEEE (kind of)

i was that girl who shifted to jjk and had that dilemma about megumi. i saw ur advice (tysm for taking time to help me btw) and thought abt it and finally swallowed my nerves to shift back.

so i kinda wanna take it slow and start by having more private/quiet time with him (hes usually a bit more expressive that way), then maybe work it up from there idk.

so i was outside his school (oh yea im homeschooled and hes in school school) and was waiting for him to come out. and GIRL. all that courage i worked up GONE the second i saw him SKCNEKCNDKKE so i kinda chickened out on asking if we could go for a walk so instead i asked what his plans were that day. he said he was going to see maki since shes teaching him how to fight with weapons. basically, he’s busy. tbh i felt both bummed out yet relieved at the same time cus i wont have to confront him just yet LOL. but then he asked if i wanted to join. u see, at this time maki was a first year at jujutsu high. ive met maki and i think shes cool but she lowkey kinda scares me as well. so i kinda hesitated to say yes. but anyways i didnt rly give him an answer and we both just walked to jujutsu high tgt. gojo was there when we first arrived. he called me aside so i followed him while megumi left to meet maki. fast forward, i finally got to the field megumi and maki were at and seeing him kinda made me question if i should rly say anything again (ik ik im confusing IM SRY). but yea i walked closer until they noticed me. megumi turned to me (SWEATY AND HOT MY GOOD LORD AHHHH sry) and looked at the bottle i was holding and asked he could have a drink. tbh i was kinda out of it when he took the bottle and drank it WHILE LOOKING AT ME. idk how to explain but basically he was drinking with the bottle tilted rly high as his eyes kinda just stared down at me. in that moment i think i noticed but i still felt too out of it to rly react tbh. so he gave the bottle back and ig he noticed how i was and asked if i was alright and pointed out how off i was acting today. and i did it. i bit the bullet. kind of. i said that i just rly wanted time with him. i just looked away so i didnt rly see his reaction. but he was quiet for a few seconds then was like “oh” then he turned to maki and asked if he could have a break for a bit. maki wasnt too happy (not that she was mad but more like she was saying “u should be practicing but ok”) then she said sure but dont take too long. we didnt go too far, still around the field. it was lowkey kinda awkward and quiet. then he asked me if i was feeling alright and if something was bothering me. no words came out my mouth and i kept avoiding looking at him. i think he noticed cus from my side vision i kinda saw him move his head around to be in front of my vision if that makes sense. i was struggling to say much so instead he kind of just opened his arms for me. i turned to him kinda surprised and his expression was like kinda awkward but also like“come here” (hes not very up front with affection or physical touch usually) then he said how if it was too hard saying it then i didnt have to. and GIRLL SLSKFIEK AHHHHHHH HES NOT MAKING IT ANY EASIER I SWEAR!!!! but anyways i was just so touched. he was so frickin sweet that i just wanted to break down then and there. so despite him being sweaty, i walked into his hug and omg his arms held me so gently SKCNEKFK AHHHKDUDJFKKF. he didnt move the entire time until i finally pulled back. he asked me if i felt better and i just said thank u and how he doesnt know how much he means to me (but i said it more in a way friend-way tone. like u dont even know how much u mean to me in a friendly joking way ig). but then he kinda smiled and was like “maybe u should tell me”. and GAHHH THIS WAS THE PERFECT MKMENT FOR ME TO LITERALLY SAY ANYTHING. literally i was gonna admit how i think i have feelings for him, maki called from afar and the moment just broke 😭😭 i dont blame her. technically its my fault. i shouldve just said something instead of being so indecisive. but like megumi kinda looked back at me kinda like to ask if i was alright if he left. i nodded and he ran back to train. and yk, even though it wasnt exactly what i wanted, i still feel pretty good. baby steps lol

i hope that was understandable. i just woke up so my thoughts r still kinda jumbled and i just wanted to write things down as fast as i could once i came back.

i also wanted to thank u since theres not many ppl i can talk abt my feelings to. in that reality, i pretty much just stay home, study, train, repeat. i dont rly have much friends my age or close enough that i feel comfortable being vulnerable with. in this reality, i cant rly tell my friends cus they dont seem like ppl who would understand shifting. so thank u for listening lol and giving us an anonymous platform to share stuff 🤧🤧

BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE LIKES YOU FR!

THIS IS HUGE PROGRESS EVEN IF IT DIDNT "HAPPEN"

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

and im like genuinely 100% sure he likes you too

this is actually so similar to what happened with me and diluc and im not kidding

PLEASE KEEP ME UPDATED <3

[the-kr8tor]

I love how your writing manages to move me to the point of near tears because I swear nothing else can do that (or im going soft). The end sentence of the opin chapter squeezed my heart.

Daily Hobie HC(??) Honestly this is just me rambling about my (personal?) hobie hcs so maybe it counts? - Starting off with one of the anon's asks earlier, I highly do not believe that Gwen liked Hobie or vice versa. For sure he had definitely taken Gwen in, but thats probably because she was homeless and literally had nowhere to go. Hobie had taken her under his wing instead of trying to initiate anything romantic with her.

And there is no way Hobie didn't already know about Miles- you can tell that Gwen definitely could not shut up about him to Hobie from day to night as soon as she was in earshot of him, by the way he immediately recognizes Miles and his jealousy, prompting Hobie to be the massive big brother shit-stirrer he is and mention his sneakers being taken, plus the jumper being left at his place. (I have a feeling Gwen didn't actually, and Hobie was just playing around by saying that) - A personal headcanon of mine is that Hobie's numb in a way, especially emotionally. It shows when they're talking about the canon events in the movie, to which Hobie just replies 'eh, what of it?', and brushes it off with a neutral expression on his face, while everyone's pained. I feel like he's already lost many family members, friends, etc due to the government that it feels as if nothing hurts anymore, when in reality it builds up to overflow one day. - Trust me aftercare is god tier with his man. Even if he's tired he'll always make sure that you're alright before he decides to rest, cleaning you up himself, getting you water and some snacks if it isn't too late at night. Once you two are fine, it's cuddles galore afterwards, with Hobie making sure you're asleep first before letting himself fall asleep. - A personal headcanon of mine which I'm usually very nervous to talk about is the fact which I think that he's somewhere on the ace spectrum. Of course he doesn't seem to really label himself on gender/sexuality, feeling comfortable with whatever people perceive him as, but going back on topic; I really don't visualize him being all that sex-hungry.

Sure he'll make the most vile jokes which leads you to question what his braincells do, but overall he's just happy to be there with you, whether its cuddles or causing havoc everywhere in his universe. - Adores Hobat Brown. Hobie and Hobat would get along so well, there's no possible way they couldn't. While Hobie's holding your hand, Hobat's found his way into one of Hobie's vest pockets. Or perhaps Hobie would DIY chest pockets onto some funny matching Halloween shirts you bought just for the little bat. Including you-bat too. Human versions and bat versions in opposite pockets- Hobat in yours, you-bat in Hobie's. - I feel like his favourite flowers are snapdragons. Not because im self-projecting, but if he had to pick he'd probably say snapdragons cus they just look cool. I can see Hobie randomly just squeezing them to watch them 'snap'. -He owns 4 cats, minus the strays. They're all oriental shorthairs, with the original being 'Mama Tea'N'Crumpets', or Mama TNC for short. Hobie adopted her after seeing her among the strays and looking very pregnant. After a few weeks, Mama TNC gave birth to three kittens; Bottol'o'Wo'ah (Bow - Brown like Mama TNC), Fish'N'Chips (Fish - Lighter brown/creme) and Theft (All black).

All four of them love sleeping in his bed, and in the middle of you two when you guys try to cuddle. Or on top, whatever happens first. They're the reason you two have to race to bed and immediately get comfy because Mama TNC knows how to open doors and all kittens follow. - Is weird and tries different icecream flavors (Loves chocolate though) - Has made a customized plushie for the two of you before you moved in properly with magnets in them so whenever you came over, you put the matching plush next to him and they held hands, or vice versa. When you moved in, the plushies hands stayed connected forever on the shelf. -🐦‍⬛

Awww thank you so much!! Fun fact abt that last part in opin: it was supposed to be a placeholder! Bc I finished writing so late at night my brain wasn't using all its power so i just came up with it until i could think of something better but by the time i was editing it I saw it and went "hey that's not too bad! This is pretty good!" So i kept it in lol

Thank you again!! Opin was really hard to write after writing for bdas bc in my mind (and own expectation) i need opin to be better or just as good as bdas. And i think I did well even though I struggled at the emotional parts and I loved writing every bit of it so it's a success methinks

Daily Hobie HC!!!

That's alright! I love general HCs!

I agree! Especially the part that hobie was just being a lil shit at that part in the movie lol he was like: imma make this dude so jealous

I think that he's desensitized in a way bc according to the comics he had a rough life before and even after becoming spiderman

Bro is a god in aftercare source: me and 🐦‍⬛ anon bc we said so

I love that! 😍

That's the most adorable thing ever!!!!

I bet he likes them bc they look gnarly and very punk!

THE CAT NAMES HAHAHHAHAHAHHAH AWWW TEA N CRUMPETS lmao i can imagine hobie introducing them like: this is my son fish n chips and theft 🔪😈

Hobie seeing jalapeño ice cream: I want that

THE PLUSHIE WONSWISJNQJNSJSN SO CUTEEEEE

[themediummultiverseau]

Will papyrus ever be included in the storyline, maybe sans opening up to him about it, or he gets suspicious about sans's behavior and corners him or something?

Aaaand are there any prominent side characters that we'll see?

Papyrus notices that his brother has been leaving the house more, and at first, hes overjoyed! Sans was finally leaving the house! But, he realised after a while, that he always dodged the question as to where he was going. (Sans, being the secretive little fuck that he is, refuses to tell anyone about the ghosts.) Worried, Papyrus follows him one day, only to find him walking al the way to the park. And then he just stops, and starts talking to air.

Papyrus is CONCERNED (tm,) and goes back home to wait for Sans to come home. It takes him HOURS to come back, (he visits everyone he can,) and, when confronted, he once again try to avoid the questions.

Papyrus says he followed him, saw him talking to air, and was considering getting him professional help, his depression had been bad before, and if he was starting to see things now as well...

Sans is forced to tell the truth.

And he does. For the next few hours they sit and talk about the ghosts. Papyrus want to believe him, really, he does! But he cant help but still be worried, so says takes his phone out and googles "Nightmare - Prince" and shows him the results. He then goes through the lot of them, showing death reports, news articles, anything that appears really, and Papyrus finally believes him.

From then on, he insists Sans takes something for them every time he visits, and often makes them food to give (more often that not, its spaghetti,) and asks how they're doing. Sometimes, they go and Sans acts as a medium, for them, so Papyrus and the ghosts can talk directly.

Killer and Dream especially take a liking to him, while Dust is pretty scared of him (he looks way to much like his won brother its actually scary,) and always ask how he is when Sans comes without him.

Side characters.. It depends what you mean by that.

Every Sans you could ever want can exist here, they just might not haunt the town,

(i got lazy when drawing here, so its just a messy sketch but yk)

(Red - shot, epic - shrapnel, Fresh - car crash, Outer - fell)

Alternatively, most of the ghosts had family members, most of them had a Papyrus look alike, (Papyrus isn't reincarnated here, but every Sans deserves a Papyrus, even fate believes it so)

(Nim (Dream and Nightmares mother, Queen), Phantom (Dusts brother,) Horror had lots of siblings, ect...)

Buuut, while many of the original Undertale cast have been spread out throughout the years, Toriel, Chara and Frisk are all based in the present time.

Toriel, after the death of her son, adopts two kids, twins, who were considered "difficult" children, (really there were disabled, but why would they care about that, - Chara has some mental issues, and Frist is mute and has sight problems.) They're lovely kids , and they visit quite regularly, typically with their mother. Sans was named their Godfather (Papyrus was considered, but he told them Sans was a better choice, ) because Toriel knew he'd love them.

Sans and Toriel met at a comedy gig, both preforming on the same day, and became friends instantly over their shared love of stupid puns. (They're not together, this universe has no canonical relationships, everyting's platonic here, but ships are totally allowed and welcome if you wanted lol.)

Holy moly, that was a lot of work lmao, would you believe it, i dont think ive ever actually drawn Papyrus before? I have no idea why, just havent, ill have to do more so in the future cus hes fun.

Ive also never tried to draw anyone from the angle Sans is at in the first drawing, think it looks fine as long as you ignore the feet lol.

No, i didnt get lazy drawing the ghost in the first, it was a stylistic choice! /j /sarcasm, also, Hi, im Whisp, i hate backgrounds!)

Please excuse me attempt at drawing a wimple for Nim and the tricorned hat for Phantom, they're very difficult!

All of Horrors siblings there don't have names, they were just designed on the spot really, so if anyone has and names for them, ill take them on board!

But hope it all looks okay, this is all full of firsts lol. Have a lovely day everyone! :)

[saatorubby]

Ive been putting people in the backrow of the history class lessons as pairs and i normally put people that are friends (or Leona and Malleus)

And today i put Ortho beside Malleus and now im wondering

How would Ortho be like around Mal? Would he be open and ((less)suffocatingly) welcoming like Kalim is with everyone? Would he ramble about himself to Malleus? Or would Ortho ask Malleus a milllion and one questions cus he wants to be friends with the fae that everyone keeps avoiding for some weird reason?

I can imagine Malleus teaching Ortho about gargoyles and grotesques a lot and maybe Malleus can tell Ortho stories about places he's been to and things he's seen people do (cause Ortho may soon pick up that he hasn't experienced these first hand) then Ortho would ask if they could do random friendship things together (idk myself uuuuuuhhhh-)

Ortho invites Malleus over to play games and watch shows and Malleus is EXSTATIC because not only has he made a new friend but they wanna hang out and do things together too???? Is this a dream????? He hopes he never wakes up back to his lonely royal duties

Idia in the middle of this all TERRIFIED that the UR+ character of the school is INSIDE HIS BEDROOM and is willing to watch anime with both of them even doe he has no idea of what it is and whether he'll like it or not (he doesn't care he just wants to be around more people)

And then Idia is somehow the most mature in the room not only because its his bedroom and he's kind of Malleus' teacher in how to play games, but because although his brother puts all AI in their world to shame he is still a child and somehow even the dragon fae that is possibly close to ten times his age is also a child-

Unfortunately for the school these two can get mischievous if encouraged enough by the situation and they will make it everyone else's problem.

Lilia discovers this and is joyful that Malleus has a friend and they get along so well (and he can't deny he loves their mischief even though it isn't good practice for Malleus)

If Idia ever catches feelings for Malleus, Ortho and Lilia would play matchmaker till Malleus catches on (cus he probably wouldn't be able to tell what's going on at first)

(And then there's Ortho being a robot, meaning he will live longer than most creatures so long as his integral parts are intact. Meaning Malleus has a friend that won't be lost easily to time-)

(But then there's also the possibility that Ortho could one day ask to be human again, and with Malleus being one of the literal 5 strongest mages, who's to say he can't do that)

I'm so so so sorry. I know I'm super late, I had a few things going on with my life. Especially a bunch of entrance exams for college (which I thankfully passed, but have two more in December), so I haven't had time to write in a while. But here are my thoughts on their relationship.

OMG, yess ortho and Mal would be besties. from mals birthday boy card voice lines ortho even got him an ice shaving machine though it was cutting edge tech so Mal didn't know how to use it :(

they would be menace together but since both of them has the ability to look like a kicked puppy, no one has the heart to tell them off

Idia would be having the worst time of his life. he's so tired of being the mature one over the fae who has been alive for 10000000 years (jk 700 only). mal and ortho have the ability to pout and they will.

ortho will teach mal everything about humans and machines though malleus doesn't always get it he's happy to listen to his new friend

Diasomnia is in disarray, Lilia is happy over the possibility to adopt another child, Sebek is crying over how WaKaSaMa has contracted a disease that is leading him to act this way, and Silver, despite having great difficulty in keeping awake, is the only sane one in the whole dorm. And the rest? they believe Ortho to be the newest royal of the briar valley. He's the prince's new brother and therefore their new god prince.

Idia and Mal together will be so funny. I know it'd be some cliche anime trope with Idia falling into Mal's arms (with the help of Lilia's magic) since Mal is a price and, Idia is internally freaking out.

Angst potential? angst potential.

Being immortal (almost) ortho and Mal will have to go through the losses of their loved ones, I think Idia being gone will hit Ortho the hardest because he's literally programmed to love Idia just as much original Ortho loved him, and will probably send him into an existential crisis.

And by now we all know how Mal reacted to the thought of his loved ones leaving him.

so angst buddies. Cursed to be left alone for eternity.

[mariska]

hi queer friends in my phone i hope u have all been having an ok month so far 💖 im sorry i havent been online very much lately, its like 80% just me being forgetful except to hop on my phone app for like ten mins to browse my dash and reblog something and get distracted by another non phone related activity LOL. my bestie Eli is here still until the rest of the month and we finished our rewatch (their first watch, my like......who even knows the specific numbered rewatch) of Avatar The Last Airbender a couple days ago and that was very fun and exciting, it was wild getting to those last few episodes in the final season and just totally getting brought back to being a kid in my head when the show was actively airing on tv and i was sitting in my bedroom exploding from sheer special interest excitement watching the story wrap up on the super small box tv i used to have like 15+ years ago 😭🫡 we haven't started watching Legend Of Korra yet since we just finished ATLA and need to like. take a lil Avatar media break before jumping into another entire finished series fhdhdhsfsshhgd but excited for whenever we start that too!! Eli showed me a fav movie of theirs the other night called Thoroughbreds and i REALLY liked it, fellow toxic yuri enjoyers i truly cannot recommend that one enough those girls have Problems In Abundance and i love that for them and also me.

OH OH OH ALSO on my birthday after we got home from out of house activities we watched that Nic Cage movie 'Dream Scenario' that i've wanted to see so bad since the first trailer for it dropped online a while back, and i am truly not just being dramatic when i say i think that is my favorite movie i've seen this year and it will be Difficult for another movie to win over that 2024 Fav Spot in my mind, it was exactly what i wanted it to be and MUCH MORE LMAOO IT WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY. very specifically Me And Eli's Kinda Stupid Sense Of Humor throughout the whole run time we were fuckin losing it at every other scene. that was a wonderful lil birthday treat.

also the antique mall we were gonna go to ended up being closed on the day of my birthday so we went to a big mall off-Cape that i like instead and have been to a few other times for past birthdays cus they actually have a bunch of different types of stores with stuff i actually enjoy unlike the more local mall we have here that is 100% dying a slow agonizing Mall Death lmao. went to Build-A-Bear and they had that one bear style in stock that literally just looks like a femme lesbian with the lesbian flag colors and perfect lil eyeliner so i made a Chappell Roan inspired pop star outfit wearing lesbian colored bear (saw someone else online do that a lil while back with the same style i chose so i couldn't resist doing it myself when i saw it was at the store hfsfgsvsgshshdg) and the ppl working there that day were all super chill and friendly and most likely around me and Eli's age or maybe a few yrs younger than us, the person who helped me make my bear specifically was really friendly and fun to talk with cus while we were in there it was pretty much just us and the employees for the majority of the time, he like immediately picked up on me being A Very Obvious Femme Lesbian on account of The Femme Lesbian Bear and also The Very Over The Top Femme Alt Outfit I Was Wearing and we chatted abt being gay and trans while he was stuffing the bear it was such a genuinely sweet and wonderful interaction, he was also autistic and we got to briefly bond over Build-A-Bear being mutual life long autistic special interests of ours and he seemed rly happy to hear that i was turning 27 that day and was still actively wanting to spend birthdays making custom stuffed animals there it was just really great all around 😭💕 also before the mall closed later on we did a quick stop at the FYE store that was there (i always get very excited when i see a still active FYE store anywhere cus it was a childhood fav place of mine to shop but our local mall closed ours when i was a teenager lol) and there was a small stand set up with some ATLA merch and i got a fully functional Momo backpack/crossbody style bag that i am so incredibly psyched about having fjdgedfdhsshfg it is very cute. and anyone who knows me knows i love adding a silly lil functional novelty bag to my collection of silly lil novelty bags. so it will be getting much use from me out in the world

anyways!!! thats pretty much what i've been up to, just figured i would hop on and write a mariska life update so everyone here knows i didnt just like. drop off the face of the earth lol

[boilingcowboy]

I wish I was a normal human being but sadly I am a wild feral animal who's brain can't leave anything alone so this scene and post I made has been scratching my brain day and night ever since I made it and I just knew there had to be more and there is. (this is the post I made its kinda like part 1 and this post is part 2, it makes sense to read the first post the link right here and then read this post after makes more sense)

ANYWAYS so in the first post I talked about the scene in ep 8 about the way Joel holds Ellie after she comes out the burning building but before the hug and I manly talked about how Joel held Ellie like a new born (again read more in the other post) and then made the parallel between Anna holding a bloody and screaming Ellie in ep 9 and then Joel holding a bloody and screaming Ellie in ep 8 almost the exact same fucking way.

So now that we got that covered I was rewatching Sarah's death scene and I noticed something before Sarah died Joel held like a new born just like he did with Ellie.

Like when he sort of tried to pick Sarah up he at first put her legs over his so he can hold her better

Idk how visible it his but he's frantically trying to pick her legs up and but it over his but he's shacking so much it takes him a few seconds and more then one try to pick her legs up and put it over his and in a way he put her legs up over his so he could kinda use his legs as a sort of third arm (I will explain later why that's important)

And as mention he did that not only for extra support but also so he could hold her better because right after he did that he holds her with both of his arms and not swings but slowly sways her side to side idk I that's the right word for it and while doing that he has on arm around the back of her neck and one arm on the other side holding her upper arm.

After Sarah dies Joel holds her even stronger obviously not wanting to accept that she's dead and trying to as last resort squeeze the life back to her or sort of give his life to her anything literally anything to keep her alive to bring his daughter back who's his only purpose in life, his reason why he wakes up in the morning, why he works so hard, why he's trying to be the best person he can be, his everything, his hole world.

And when he realises that his daughter is gone and no prayer or force or anything will ever bring her back he slumps together a bit, before he was sitting as up right as he could holding her right against him trying to stop the blood and life coming out of her but after he slumps together because there is no reason to hold her so tight any more because she's gone for forever and he can't do anything anymore.

And right there (and the hole times but you can see it in the scene way better) he holds her exactly like you would a newborn he's still using his legs as a sort of third arm and supporting her legs and he's got one arm around her lower side and the other against the back of her neck and he's not holding her pressed to his chest now but sort o a bit away so he won't squeeze her to hard. And that's exactly how you would hold a new born and maybe that exactly how he did hold her as anew born supporting her legs, upper body and head.

And that's almost the same way he holds Ellie after he ends her because its literally instinct to him, he didn't have to think twice about how to support Ellie so she won't hurt herself because he knew. He knew from Sarah and all the parenting books he probably read or maybe even all the parenting classes he might've attended.

For comparison:

like ??????? PLEASE TELL ME I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE GOING CRAZY ABOUT THIS????????!!!!!!!

this is why i don't rewatch tlou cus I turn into a wild feral animal who's clawing at their cage, foaming at the mouth and scrambling into their hole

[upsidedowngrass]

do yuo yave any more liam thoughts im delirious rn a d i need my boy. I need my boy.

i ALWAYS have liam thughts every day of my LIFE . they may not be esp collected bc i have many so i dont have specific ones ive planned to share BUT ill throw some of my thoughts on him in Bullet Point Form and may end up elaborating on a few in particular :) (lot of these may be more vague, and some r more just things ive had on my mind cus ive been planning stuff!!!!)

generally, i think liam stays in airys world for a while, yeah, but i think he gets the contestants out before 8 months. this is mostly bc of charlotte. BUT also, we know airy has been in this place for "at least a decade," but oscar ALSO says he was on the plane "at least a decade ago." so its unclear how long airy WAS there for (if we assume that one takes place in the 2010s, in 2020-its vague and im not sure if cheesys ever clarified- but no code by pearl jam came out in 1996, so if its 2010s, hes only been dead for a bit over ten years, and 2020 would mean somewhere between 1996-2010, and this ISNT accounting for how long he spent in the waiting room) but it seems? that it didnt take him. actually THAT long to figure out how to teleport people to and from the plane. it seems to have been one of the easier things he figured out! (aside from actually creating planets) and? airy was a trucker. he COULDVE had tech experience, and i think sometimes people overestimate how much exp liam would have with tech as a telemarketer, ill have to look that up, but like. hed DEF have more exp w computers, just based on profession, so id imagine at least INTERFACING would be easier. the point of this is that i dont think liam would take long to find out how to teleport people, esp not ten years. especially with as much nonstop effort he shows in the series (compared to airy, who was likely in no rush, though im sure rushing WOULD mess with the speed that liam would figure things out), i think hed figure it out way sooner than airy did, and thats not even TRULY accounting that airy couldve taken any amount of time to figure it out

continuing that, ive seen ppl say that the computer wouldnt be able to teleport him home, but if my theory that the kill command is actually just an offshoot of the code used to teleport people (which ive posted abt before, but to summarize, when characters die, their bodies remain, but when the kill command is used, their bodies disappear, as shown at the end of universe modulation) is correct, the computer isnt restricted just to the plane. i think the extent of its abilities are mostly reserved for the planets it makes, but i think it may have otehr functions outside of these (such as interdimensional internet access, apparently). the point of all of this is that i think hed be able to send everyone home eventually, and i think it actually makes SENSE for him to get home. i think being able to teleport himself back home would take way longer than teleporting the others, esp since he most likely has the base code for the others (and airy didnt seem to actually BE concerned w getting home. he was lonely, but i dont think it was home that he was concerned with), but i think hed get home eventually

on that note, ive also said before that my family hcs for him vary. i OFTEN depict him as a middle child mainly bc it gives him people whove been waiting for him to come back that arent just one coworker. BUT i do sometimes depict him as an only child . it depends on the day. BUT!!! i thnk no matter what, once he gets home, he stays with owen the first day/night back. i think hed move in w bryce and amelia and charlotte very genuinely, but i think this would happen after MANY months. maybe a year or so. he needs some time. i think in that time, he stays w owen, OR if im depicting him as a middle sibling i throw him w one or both of them

also i dont actually think they contradict canon. ik a lot of people sometimes see liam NOT going to family after getting home as an indicator that he has no close family but like. tbh i dont think it even mattered HOW close he was w any family. i think the moment he saw that he was presumed dead, any hope hed had that things would return to normal, if that even was on his mind, just disappeared. because he was Dead.there wasnt anything left because he disappeared, he died, and that was it. before he looks at the notes he just kind of. looks lost. because at that pt he doesnt HAVE an idea of what hes going to do. all hes thinking abt is that this is Fucked. and i dont think it had anything to do w being close to people, or having friends or family (though it does seem to be mildly implied that he WASNT close w that many people, but i dont think that rly has much to do w whether he has siblings. siblings arent always SUPER tight knit, tho i think they were all at least friends :) ). i think he just. didnt know what to DO because he doesnt have almost Anything to his existence anymore, he just existed one day then he didnt!!! and then after looking at the notes, he still was dead, but he could still do Something about the plane with whatever he had left, not in possesions, but of Himself

on the subject of how he responded to things, i think SO often about how he seems to respond to stress. thruout the series, he is shown responding to small AND major stressors, and ive dedicated my life to studying the minute details of Liam Behavior so that i can make sure i understand him As Much As Possible. and? he is soooo not loud. under any pressure, he just Stops doing things. like the end of ep 1 could be excused as shock, but there are SO many instances of him just sorta. Stopping, or at the very least Not speaking when stressed, just tuning things out (if hes not full on dissociating, but since hes also generally Quiet it CAN be hard to distinguish if he is or not, since sometimes he may just Not be talking. i still have yet to study him wrt this but i will eventually), theres even lighter examples of this, like him Not saying anything in ep 2 when everyones yelling at airy, or him passing by bryce in ep 13 and seeming to think that would work? he just. often responds to things by NOT responding to them. there are only a few instances where he deviates from this, such as in ep 2 when he yells at airy, in eps 10 and 13 when he yells at bryce, and the many many times he yells at airy thru eps 17 and 18. but what ties these all together is that what REALLY pushes him to go from quiet to loud is when people are Ignoring Vital Details. when they are Confidently sticking to smth thats Incorrect and WONT listen to him (which is a bit more subjective w bryce ofc, but its still Incorrect to him). i think this also can of course extend to morally incorrect, as shown in ep 18, but even then, i think the main catalyst for what he says there is desperacy. he isnt asking airy why owens on his computer because he doesnt know. liam can be reckless throughout one (which is HEAVILY influenced by stress), but hes not stupid. he KNOWS why owen was there. i think THAT was just. denial? a need to know why? i dont know what specifically the emotion is, but at that pt, airy is acting FAR beyond what liam can reason him to not do. and? liam DOESNT say anything when he tries to kill airy. liam yells when people are being illogical, or not listening. because he WANTS them to listen. but airy wont listen to him. ive said it before but ill say it 2 billion times more that liam trying to kill airy was NEVER abt anger. really? he was acting how he acts when STRESSED. when hes NERVOUS . he historically Stops talking when hes under a lot of stress, and yells when indignant or frustrated

this does influence how i try to depict him, because i dont think hes an esp angry person, but when people wont Listen i think THAT does make him mad (and i think its also why he doesnt go to people when he gets home. if he wanted to talk abt things, he wants to talk to people abt how they ARE, not a fake version that people will believe. i think him getting a therapist post-canon is very challenging because of this. he is very stubborn) but when hes stressed or nervous he seems way more likely to Stop doing anything, and its smth i try to take into account when writing him SO much. he CAN be scared and still talking n stuff, but if its too bad hes more likely to freeze up

man tho. people joke abt him fighting REALLY poorly in ep 18 but i think people forget that he is running on FUMES. airy has been chopping down trees for years, hes fine. but liam got to bryces house and slept til morning, and seems to have maybe slept a litttttle? in ep 13, but its not very clear. he may have just sat there til the coast was clear for him to steal bryces car. who knows. but THEN he crashed a car (NOBODY points out that he was limping. either he was very out of it or that guy injured his leg AGAIN. i dont think it was a breakage but he SEEMS like hes in pain and then forgets it). then died a bunch of times. spent a WHOLE day awake. then went to airys world. and is just around for a while, cries, talks to airy, and Likely sleeps a little til morning. or at least lays there. its ALSO not clear. and keep in mind, he JUST spent the week before nonstop hitchhiking with likely minimal food or water bc he... doesnt have money (which i dont think is needed in airys world. i think it and the plane maintain people who live there, but thats its own hc). that, and with the way i interpret how the waiting room heals injuries, his leg may not have fully healed (which airy DEF didnt help. you are NOT supposed to straighten out broken legs. it was better than nothing but that guys leg is NOT healed) similarly, i dont imagine his arm is doing much better. those last few parts CAN be set to the side since that IS just how i interpret the waiting room but even aside from those. all of this to say that when he is fighting airy i think he is VERY obviously Really Fucking Tired. like yeah of COURSE hes not going to aim an AXE well. this guy hasnt known rest in 7 months and KEEPS getting injured. OBVIOUSLY hes not gonna fight well!!! hell, hes never FOUGHT someone with an AXE before. i think hes a little inexperienced on that front too!!!!!!

OH YEAH. sleeping thing reminded me. i think he and amelia sleep on the floor so much out of habit. i think they could sleep ANYWHERE but also bc theyre both so used to shitty sleeping conditions, good sleeping conditions make them fall asleep SUPER fast. this eases w time but i think it happens a lot. i think for the first few months, if liam has one blanket he just goes wow! thats comfortable (falls asleep)

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] I LISTENED TO YHE SONG AND SAW THOSE LYRICS AND I JUST. UE. UEUUEUEUEUUEHRGDHHHHHHH UEHHHHH a place,, whwere ppl treated u like a person,.. ur always a person 2 me,... crying shitting on hte floor

anyways thingkin abt the brainrot thing again (its ok to publish ye) im not the type to have Too many ppl involved but like. if thers gonn be another person id have nahida paying a quick visit. maybe. mayhaps on the times lumine, after xiao wakes up and telling her she shouldnt stay with him all the time and to focus on her quest, prolly goes to sumeru and nahida had the interest to take a looksee at the neighbour liyue. lumine brings her to the inn where he recovers. hes a lil down, a lil tired, still on the weeks he could barely stand properly. physiotherapy Sucks. living Sucks. nahida wud be there for advice, for reminiscing- for books (lumine had brought back books before, borrowed from house of daena, theres a hella lot of scenes i had merely on lumine wasting time before and after xiao woke) for dreams and everything.

gosh its the way i can tell u every lil scene i had of pre and post-awakening. tho idk if u like paimon cus im also super attached to her and said screw her in-game hyv staff projection dialogs JDJAJFHHSHF anyway!! nahida. like Man nahida xiao dynamic can be so personal, not as personal as zhongli but she has perspectives of how it is to simply be open and accept things and how it feels to be restrained from what you truly want to do with ur own hands. about curiosity, about learning, about being young methinks.

xiao takes a while to adapt to it all when the incident reverts his mindset to being Useless Worthless Lamenting, but to have all of these ppl who isnt just there to make him feel better, but also to themselves, is an unknown comfort he needed yknow i justfkkehrjshhfjrjshshhdhd my words are G O N E

XIAO AND NAHIDAAAAAAAAAAAA explodes and dies. the advice the reminiscing the Books........ they could have such simple little conversations that even for a short time bring his mind away from the exhaustive pain that is Everything Else.... curiosity and learning and be young GODDDDDDDDDD im so. thinks about very few people Being There but people who know xiao, whether just barely or through zhongli speaking of him or through lumine speaking of him, wishing him well sending regards and how does that make any sense? that those who know so little about him would care that he gets better? why would any of them take the time to say anything at all? and zhongli and lumi and nahida and paimon all doing just. countless big things, sure, but also little gestures, things to make him more comfortable or help him heal or take his mind off things. undeniable acts of love and care at all times.

paimon is !!! complicated. i LOVE her in theory but i hate her ingame. one of the first genshin fics i Ever read and still one of my favorites to this day characterized her EXTREMELY well imo and because of it i do admittedly have an attachment to her and everything she could've been, i love love love the way they wrote her and lumine like its so fucking important to me nadsfnmdsfamnfndsg. "screw her in-game hyv staff projection dialogs" LITERALLY SO REAL she deserves better. tbh.

[horce-divorce]

Dental update .... the antibiotics helped a lot but tomorrow I'll be out of them. Today's the first day I didn't take painkillers and like it doesn't.... Not hurt? It's not as severe as it was, but something's very much not right. my face is kinda starting to go tingly and my facial muscles are kinda harder to move than they were... The pain is getting referred to weird spots in my head where my tooth shouldn't be hurting... Idk whatever ig I'm trying not to think about it....

The oral surgery place should call me back anytime. We'll have to pay out of pocket, it'll be like 2 grand, but my parents said make the appointment and we'll figure it out somehow, provided they let me in to the facilities as long as I'm still testing negative....

Thought about applying for another CareCredit, they probably have me on some kind of blacklist or something for never paying them before lmao but I was thinking about how I'm gonna need to do something about going out of state for my MALS too. no clue how I'd make payments before disability kicks in but just something I'm considering cus like. I'm only gonna get older and more decrepit yk. this isn't slowing down anytime soon.

The weed my friends bought for me last time has lasted me a good 2 weeks which is the best I can hope for, but I'll be out again soon... Gonna have to ask for help again w that at least and I'm glad I won't have to beg for the teeth, but I'm just so tired of begging for my life in general. I'm putting it off and I'm gonna regret it, I'm losing weight again and I'm so scared of how sick it's making me not to be eating enough but ughh I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. I miss having a stupid fucking job. What I wouldnt give to be getting yelled at over petty shit like ice cream again. Never been "gainfully" employed in my damn life but still being able to go break myself in the mall and maybe taking $5 that I shouldn't spend and doing it anyway came with more dignity than begging for everything I need.

I'm so glad I had my T today at least cus there's very few points of light in my day right now and Im trying so hard to keep my chin up but I'm tired. I'm so tired. It's so much energy to keep me alive. What little energy my body can produce goes right back towards making the energy I'll need to survive and do the same thing tomorrow. like a snake eating its tail...

[renewingagain]

sunday 28 july 2024 // 12:47am

i'll keep this brief-ish cus its late and i have a really busy day tomorrow

i might just be sad cus i got drunk earlier and now the alcohol is wearing off but the supressant isnt but

i still really miss ben even tho its been like almost 2 months now. im upset that he unfollowed me on insta bc i was really hoping we would speak again at some point but in my mind it just seems that him unfollowing me makes me think he never wants to talk to me ever again

i left it for a while but i finally unfollowed him back this eve cus every time he came up on my insta my heart just sinks a bit cus i still really miss him

i just wish this wasnt the reality and i feel like ive made a mistake in letting him go but it feels too far gone now

i know in my mind that i will love again and meet other people i connect with - i think its just that this coupled with all the other things happening, LIKE LEAVING SHEFFIELD IN 3 WEEKS with no job etc is so crazy and scary. i feel incredibly overwhelmed right now and i dont want to feel this way really i just want to enjoy my last few weeks here

it all feels quite surreal but i guess it is really happening like i am actually finailly leaving sheffield for good (ish), at least for a long long time

i do need to remember, im cute, im sexy, i am worthy to be loved and again i will find someone i eventually connect with. i just have to brave it next time i think and just accept whatever happens. because i am worthy to be loved by someone. the same way any straight person can love unashamedly, i wish i could too.

ben was so sweet and lovely and so fucking cute man, i really miss him. i can only assume he unfollowed me because maybe he didnt want to be reminded of me on his feed because it was painful for him

i wish i could just see him and talk to him again. i could text him but im just worried he wont reply. but then its like what would i even say anyway idk

anyway ive unfollowed him now and thats that, i guess thats closed off for now

when i broke up with alex a looong time ago, i honestly thought i would never find someone i connected with the way i did with him. but i did! i met lewie, i met michael (ish, thats some trauma lol)- i met ben. i will meet someone else

im also just feeling ughh a bit insecure lately like i just dont think im that cute 😭 like ok i KNOW im not like ugly lol, but im not conventually attractive (i dont think so anyway), im not the guy that gets noticed

however it would be silly for me to say that because am i a mind reader? no, for all i know there could be other guys finding me incredibly attractive and i am just unaware of it

ahhh who knows

i am looking forward ish to being home and just having a break from everything, i think i really need it

i really need to remain grateful for everything i DO have

friends, family, good health, macbook, equipment, money

i must strive to be content with my quality of life. i must love myself first and foremost. i need to be kind to myself. i can be extremely kind to other people, allow me to love myself too..