#or maybe i have told her something ive forgotten

[yume-fanfare]

on a slightly different note a friend i made recently who hasn't known me for long enough was telling me this morning "did you see this one character i think he's kind of your type" (proceeds to show me brat with pink hair) and it's fascinating that she clocked me so fast. i hadnt even told her abt mitsuba Or anything abt enstars

[crappymixtape]

because of you • epilogue

PART I • PART II • PART III • PART IV • PART V • EPILOGUE ❝ an enemies to lovers fic with Steve? 💙 maybe they have to put aside their differences to fight upside down stuff and realize they actually have a lot in common 👀 • 18+ | ( 1k – a little bit of king!steve, mostly angst with a dash of fluff, enemies to idiots in love, steve x reader )

B E C A U S E O F Y O U • E P I L O G U E 🎶 believer – piano version, SYML

❝ WE’VE BECOME ECHOES, BUT ECHOES ARE FADING AWAY, SO LET’S DANCE LIKE TWO SHADOWS, BURNING OUT A GLORY DAY ❞

Walking across the parking lot of Hawkins High with Steve Harrington’s hand in the back pocket of your jeans was a surreal feeling. Never in a million years did you think you’d be on speaking terms with him let alone dating him. You also didn’t think the world would end, so maybe being wrong was something to get used to.

Steve had a bag of clothes under one arm while you pulled a wagon of canned food and blankets behind you. It seemed like everyone was in need of something – shirts, coats, shoes, bread, cheese, shelter – and despite the way everyone had rallied against Eddie, they changed their tune quick after the news broke. Came together as a community to support each other through these unprecedented events.

The story came out that it had been a serial killer who’d murdered those poor kids, not Eddie, and it was all forgotten anyway the minute your little town suddenly turned into a war zone. Helicopters and tanks and soldiers, scientists and news crews from all over the nation. The ash hadn’t stopped falling since the Creel House and in the daylight the damage was so much worse than any of you had expected.

When Steve drove you home, it just simply wasn’t there. Swallowed up in one of four deep gashes splitting the earth at the seams. Your parents had survived, came back to see if maybe you’d go home to find them and tried to salvage whatever they could.

They’d sought shelter with your aunt on the other side of town, but Steve insisted you stay with him. Told you you’d have your own room and space and whatever you needed and when you expected a no, your parents surprised you with a yes, with relief. It was tight enough over at your aunt’s as it was and maybe it was better that way. With a friend – friend.

“Donations?” a volunteer asked, pulling you from your thoughts.

“What?” you started, but Steve held up his bag.

“Yeah, yeah. Clothes, food, some blankets.”

“Great, that’s perfect. Clothes are on the tables at the far end of the cafeteria, food is being collected here in the quad and blankets go to the library,” the volunteer said and Steve thanked her with a small smile.

Even though you were bringing things to donate, it was a weird feeling knowing you’d likely be looking for things for you too. You wondered about everyone else. Wondered if they had lost everything too and hoped they hadn’t. Hoped they were all safe. The Wheelers, the Sinclairs, Max and Robin and Eddie–

“Holy shit–no way! Sweetheart, who’s that in your back pocket??”

As if summoned by your very thoughts, Eddie materialized at the bottom of the parking lot turning your cheeks cherry red, Steve’s hand still tucked into your jeans.

He gave Eddie a big grin and dipped down to press a kiss to your temple, “Shut up, Munson.”

“It’s Steve you idiot,” you snarked, lips tugged up in a little smile, no heat behind it and as soon as you passed the wagon off to a volunteer, your best friend was pulling you into a hug.

“Missed you too, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured into your hair, holding you tight to his chest. His voice wobbled a little and it made your throat squeeze. He’d brushed with death last night, just the same as you, and feeling him here – really here – was like a big sigh of relief.

“Wayne okay?” you asked quietly and he nodded, curls tangling with yours.

“Yeah, thank fuck,” he exhaled, finally letting you go to rub at the back of his neck. “Trailer’s totaled though.”

“My place too,” you commiserated and Steve’s grin faded as his realized just how much had been at stake outside of the party, outside of Vecna.

“Listen,” he started, clearing his throat, “My parents checked in this morning to make sure I was alright, but aren’t coming home anytime soon. If you need a place to stay there’s plenty of room…” Steve jammed his hands in his pockets, unsure if he’d crossed a line or was breaking some unsaid rule, but Eddie grabbed him by the arm and yanked him into a hug too.

“Thanks, man! God, that’d be great. Promise Wayne and I aren’t messy, we’ll clean up and help with dinner and the trash and–”

“Eddie,” Steve laughed, giving the other boy’s shoulder a squeeze, “It’s okay, I’m sure you’re fine.”

You were positive your heart was going to burst, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time in the last 24 hours – mostly because of these two idiots – and both boys noticed at the same moment.

Eddie frowned, worried, “Hey, hey, what’s up?”

“Oh–shit–you okay, Princess?” Steve asked, his words blending together with Eddie’s.

“No, I’m okay–” you sniffled, pressing your palms to your eyes, half-laughing at how stupid you felt, “–you two just suck.”

Both boys laughed, we love you, and Steve pulled you under his arm, “Hate to say it, but I think you’re stuck with us.” He shot Eddie a look and the other boy grinned.

“Yep. Sorry, sweetheart,” Eddie gave you one of his too-charming winks, “can’t get out of this one.”

You huffed a laugh and buried your face into Steve’s chest. Warm like summer and the sun, like safe and home, and when you pulled away to push up onto your toes and catch his lips between yours a voice echoed across the quad.

“OH MY GOD–WHAT?? STEVE, WHAT THE HELL?? WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME YOU’RE DATING–”

“Oh, Christ–Robin! I’m right here, you don’t have to yell!”

[ I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF, THIS SCENE WAS SCREAMING AT ME LIKE ROBIN – YOU'RE WELCOME ]

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist♥️ reblogs and comments keep me going, friends! ily! ♥️

[callmedaleelah]

— Pinnacle [ tsukishima kei university au series ]

— i keep recalling things we never did ; why are you eating ramen and burnt cheesecake in a café with him? what if people think that you’re on a date?

author’s notes : no mention of (y/n), written in second person pov, semi alternative universe, timeskip!tsukishima, college life, not proofread, english is not my first language

[ masterlist ] | [ ask daleelah go to box box 🐭 ]

The morning air was cool as you stepped into the classroom, your heart heavy with anxiety. The exhaustion from the past week clung to you, but there was also a small flicker of gratitude in your chest. Tsukishima had been there for you all night, helping you cram as much information as possible. He had even insisted on dropping you off at class, carrying your bag and other belongings because your hand still hurt from the IV needle. He made sure you were settled in your seat before leaving without a word, a gesture that left you both touched and a bit bewildered. You promised yourself you would find a way to thank him properly after this exam, maybe by treating him to something nice or doing whatever he wanted.

As the exam began, your worries resurfaced. Despite Tsukishima’s help, you still felt unprepared. Some of the questions seemed foreign, and you found yourself leaving several blank as the clock ticked down. By the time it was over, a sense of dread had settled in your stomach. You could barely remember walking out of the classroom, your mind too preoccupied with thoughts of failure. All you wanted was to get back to your dorm and rest, but the nagging uncertainty about the answers kept you flipping through your book as you walked.

“Loosen up, the exam is over,” came a familiar voice from behind you.

You turned to see Tsukishima standing there, a slight grin playing on his lips as he approached. There was a teasing glint in his eyes as he reached out to close your book gently. “Your body has been telling you to stop looking at your books since yesterday when you collapsed at the infirmary, and here you are still studying even after the exam is over.”

His words, though spoken with his usual dry tone, held a touch of concern beneath the surface. You wanted to tell him how much you feared you had failed, but the thought of burdening him further made you bite your tongue. Instead, you pushed your emotions aside and mustered a warm smile. “How was your exam?” you asked, trying to shift the focus away from yourself.

“Good, think I did pretty well,” he answered, his confidence evident as he began walking beside you.

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “I want to treat you to something since you took care of me yesterday,” you said, your voice sincere.

He frowned slightly, his expression questioning.

“It’d be impolite of me not to return your kindness,” you replied, hoping he understood how much his help had meant to you.

“Kindness?” he chuckled, a sound that was almost amused. “I told you the doctor asked me to help. I was just doing her a favor.”

“Yeah, but still—” you began, feeling a bit flustered by his nonchalant attitude.

He cut you off with a shrug, a small smirk on his lips. “Okay, if you insist. Let’s get some ramen and burnt cheesecake at the café downtown.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his choice, surprised that someone like Tsukishima would have such a specific dessert preference. But you agreed, the thought of resting at your dorm forgotten as the prospect of spending more time with him took over.

The café was as cozy and inviting as you remembered, a favorite spot for university students to unwind. The space was filled with warm lighting and soft music, creating a homey atmosphere that made it easy to relax. Around you, couples occupied most of the tables, enjoying quiet moments together, sharing laughs, and indulging in sweet treats. You couldn’t help but notice how many of them were on dates, their conversations and gestures filled with affection.

As you waited for your order, Tsukishima excused himself to the restroom. Left alone, you glanced around the room, taking in the sight of other students. It struck you suddenly that, from an outsider’s perspective, you and Tsukishima might look like just another couple on a date. The thought sent a brief flutter through your chest, but you quickly shook it off, not wanting to read too much into it. After all, this was just a simple thank-you meal—nothing more.

Or at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself as you waited for him to return.

Two bowl of ramen was steaming, the broth rich and savory, and two slice of burnt cheesecake you ordered sat beside it, looking almost too beautiful to eat. You both settled into a relaxed rhythm, exchanging conversation that flowed more easily than you expected.

“This place is nice,” you commented, glancing around at the cozy interior. “I’ve never been here before.”

“Yeah, I usually come here with Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima replied, taking a casual sip of his tea. “It’s quiet enough, not too crowded. Perfect for avoiding people.”

You chuckled, finding his usual avoidance of crowds almost endearing. “Sounds like you,” you teased lightly. “So, do you always order the burnt cheesecake?”

Tsukishima smirked, a small curve of his lips that was more subtle than full-on amusement. “Only if I’m in the mood,” he said, his eyes glancing at you from beneath his blonde bangs. “I didn’t peg you as someone who’d enjoy this kind of place.”

“I guess I’m full of surprises,” you said with a grin. “But honestly, I’ve been too busy with exams to explore much.”

“Typical freshman,” he muttered, but there was no malice in his tone, only the familiar teasing you were starting to appreciate. “How are you holding up with your classes?”

You sighed, feeling a bit more at ease talking to him than you would have expected a few days ago. “Barely. This semester has been a lot tougher than I imagined. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even cut out for biochemistry.”

He raised an eyebrow, his expression unreadable. “If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have made it this far.”

You blinked at his straightforward reply, a warmth blooming in your chest at his unexpected reassurance. “I guess,” you murmured, your voice softer.

As the conversation continued, you found yourself noticing the small details about him, details you hadn’t paid attention to before. The soft freckles scattered across his face, faint but noticeable when the café’s warm light hit him just right. The way his lips quirked into a half-smile when you said something he found mildly amusing. How his eyes, sharp and intelligent, would flicker toward you, only to quickly look away as if he didn’t want to be caught staring.

There was a moment when he laughed—a deep, rich sound that made your heart skip. His nose scrunched slightly, just enough to soften his usual stoic expression, and you realized you liked seeing him like this, more relaxed, more open.

You couldn’t help but wonder if this was a side of Tsukishima that few people got to see, a version of him reserved for moments like these, where the world outside the café didn’t matter.

You smiled, feeling a comfortable silence settle between you, the earlier tension from your exam worries fading into the background. It felt nice, this moment of connection between you two, and for a while, you let yourself forget the pressures of university life.

But just as you were settling into the calm, your phone suddenly buzzed on the table. The sound broke the quiet bubble you’d been in, and you glanced down to see the reminder flashing on the screen—Take your ginger tonic and vitamins.

You quickly snoozed the alarm, feeling a slight flush rise to your cheeks, but it was too late. Tsukishima had already stolen a glance at your phone, his lips quirking up into an amused smirk.

“So, you like ginseng tonic?” he asked, his tone teasing as he raised an eyebrow at you.

You nearly choked on your food, shaking your head furiously. “No—my mom makes me,” you replied, a bit more defensively than you intended.

Tsukishima seemed taken aback by your quick response, but the surprise quickly faded into another teasing comment. “Seems like your mom really knows how to take care of you,” he said, his voice laced with a playful edge.

You tried to laugh it off, but your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. “She says I’m too clueless to take care of myself, so she has to intervene,” you joked, though there was an undeniable bitterness beneath your words. You hadn’t meant to let it slip, but Tsukishima’s perceptive gaze caught it instantly. His teasing demeanor softened slightly, but he didn’t press further, sensing that there was more to the story.

Instead, he reached across the table, his hand moving with surprising gentleness. Before you could react, his thumb brushed against the corner of your lips, wiping away a small spot of broth you hadn’t noticed. The contact was brief, but it sent a jolt through you, making you freeze as your heart suddenly sped up.

The world seemed to slow down for a moment, and you could feel the warmth of his touch lingering on your skin. Tsukishima’s expression was unreadable, but his eyes held a softness that made your breath hitch. The café around you faded into the background, and all you could focus on was the tenderness in his gesture, the way his eyes flickered with something deeper than just casual concern.

Neither of you spoke, the silence hanging in the air like a delicate thread. You could feel your cheeks growing warm under his gaze, your thoughts a jumble of confusion and a budding realization that perhaps, just maybe, there was something more between you two than just a reluctant mentor-student relationship.

Finally, Tsukishima broke the tension with a small, almost imperceptible smile, his hand retracting back to his side. “You missed a spot,” he said lightly, but his voice had a gentleness to it that made your heart flutter.

You managed a weak laugh, trying to shake off the overwhelming emotions that threatened to spill over. “Thanks,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

The moment passed, but the memory of it lingered, etched into your mind like a secret you weren’t quite ready to share, not even with yourself.

As you both continued to eat, the earlier playful banter faded into a more comfortable silence. Yet, the unspoken understanding between you two grew, and with it, a warmth that neither of you could deny, even if you didn’t fully understand it yet.

The café had grown quieter as the afternoon wore on, the soft hum of conversation and the clinking of dishes providing a comforting background to your shared meal. You and Tsukishima had settled into a relaxed conversation, the earlier tension gradually melting away as you discussed everything from university life to random observations about the people around you.

He had just finished the last bite of his burnt cheesecake, and you were savoring the final spoonfuls of your ramen, the warmth of the broth lingering in your chest. You felt surprisingly content, more at ease than you had in weeks, thanks in no small part to Tsukishima’s presence.

As you set down your spoon, you reached for your bag, ready to pay for the meal as you had promised. But before you could pull out your wallet, you caught the attention of the waiter, gesturing for the bill.

The waiter approached with a polite smile, holding a small leather-bound folder. “Your bill has already been taken care of,” he said, handing the receipt to Tsukishima instead.

You blinked in surprise, your eyes darting between Tsukishima and the waiter. “Wait, what? No, I was supposed to pay—”

Tsukishima looked at you with a calm, unbothered expression, his hand already tucking the receipt into his pocket. “I got it,” he said simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“But… why? I said I’d treat you. You took care of me, remember?” You couldn’t hide the confusion in your voice, your brows furrowed in disbelief.

He leaned back in his chair, a faint smirk playing on his lips. “What kind of man do you think I am, letting a woman pay for the lunch I chose?”

His tone was light, but the weight of his words made your heart skip a beat. There was something undeniably charming in the way he said it, his usual teasing edge softened with a hint of genuine chivalry that caught you off guard.

“But—” you started, but he interrupted, holding up a hand.

“You can save your arguments for next time,” he said, his voice steady and calm. “Consider this a thank you—for putting up with my attitude this past semester.”

You felt your cheeks warm at his unexpected admission, your protest fading into a soft smile. “You’re not that bad,” you said quietly, though your heart was racing a little. “I mean, you did help me a lot.”

Tsukishima’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw something in his gaze that made your breath catch—a fleeting softness, a quiet acknowledgment of the connection that had been growing between you. It was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by his usual guarded expression, but the memory of it lingered, making your chest tighten with a mix of emotions you weren’t ready to untangle.

“I’m serious, though,” you continued, trying to regain some composure. “Next time, it’s on me.”

He raised an eyebrow, a small, amused smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “We’ll see.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but couldn’t help the warmth that spread through you at the thought of a next time. The idea that there could be more moments like this, more shared meals and conversations, filled you with a quiet sense of anticipation.

As you both stood up to leave, Tsukishima casually picked up your bag, slinging it over his shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Let’s go,” he said, his voice steady and unhurried.

You followed him out of the café, the afternoon sun casting long shadows on the pavement as you walked side by side. The day had taken an unexpected turn, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of gratitude for this moment—one that felt like the beginning of something you couldn’t quite name.

And as you walked together, the light breeze ruffling your hair, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t just the end of a shared meal, but is it just you hoping for more?

taglist (free to mention) ; @theweirdfloatything

[ourfatherwhoartinhell]

Love, Eternal // [Part IV]

Pairing | Phantom x Sister!Reader

Word count | 1.3k

⚠️ Warnings | Reader uses she/her pronouns, (y/n) is used once. There is a ritual scene. TW for murder ghouls, blood, injuries, assault, violence, and death.

Plot Summary: Today was Phantom's summoning day, a special occasion akin to a birthday. Eager to surprise him with a homemade cake, you realize you're missing ingredients and head into town. On the way back, you encounter trouble with some members of the Catholic church that changes the course of your life in the Ministry - and with Phantom - forever.

A/N: I TOLD YOU IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING! This is the last part! Thank you so much for reading this far, I hope it was an enjoyable read. Much love 🖤 xo Emery

[Prev]

Phantom returned a short while later, Swiss and Dew silently trailing him. The poor ghoul was absolutely overcome with grief. Once he found you in the driveway, he could immediately smell the putrid odour of the men who did this to you, their scents still fresh on your beaten body.

When he left the Ministry he had no thoughts but revenge. It was easy for him to pick up on their scent once he was outside, his abilities and senses heightened in his manic state. 

Swiss and Dew knew better than to interrupt a ghoul on a warpath, so they kept their distance, allowing Phantom to do what needed to be done. Sometimes his packmates had wondered how he ever survived in the pit, his trademark traits of being approachable and kind didn’t fly down there.

However, as his fangs elongated and his claws unglamoured, Phantom was quickly proving to all that he was a ghoul from hell after all; mindlessly pulling the first unfortunate soul apart with ease, Swiss and Dew watched proudly as the young ghoul forced the vile human to choke on his internal organs.

Phantom had begun his hunt.

Walking slowly back to the Abbey, Phantom began to come back to earth. His mind was riddled with thoughts of what he could have done differently; maybe he shouldn’t have skipped so many lessons with Aether to spend time with you, maybe he should’ve asked Omega more questions about what his Quintessence could do before he was sent away.

Lost in his thoughts, he began to weep. The thought of losing you and ultimately failing his older brothers, the thought of realizing you were his mate and never getting the chance to tell you. It was almost too much for Phantom to endure.

The blood smearing across his face as he wiped away his tears only made him cry harder. He was covered in as much blood as you were, the only difference being none of it was his. What’s done was done. He was a murderer now. No better than the vermin he just effortlessly dispatched. Phantom knew they would get a special greeting in hell, and that fact brought him a fleeting sense of relief.

He needed to see you one last time. He made his way back up to the main ritual room where he knew Copia would still be with you, but he never could’ve imagined what would be waiting for him once he got there. Rain and Mountain were already inside, the arrangements long forgotten. Dew and Swiss made their appearances known as they stepped behind the young ghoul who had been stopped in the doorway.

“I need to see her, Papa. Please. Just once.”

Copia silently signalled Dew and Swiss closer. “I can’t let you do that.”

“Excuse me?” The fury in Phantom’s eyes quickly returned.

Copia knew better than to get in the way of an angry ghoul, learning his lesson as a child growing up with Alpha, but he stood fast. “Phantom, there’s something you need to know–“

However, the young Quint was hearing none of it as he pushed past Copia and wiggled out of his brothers' grasp.

What he found as he entered further into the room was exactly what he expected: you. What he didn’t expect to see was you… alive? This must have been a dream. He shut his blood stained eyes once, and then twice. You were right in front of him, now sitting between Rain and Mountain in the same place he watched you die - where he felt you die.

What he felt now was something familiar, yet completely new.

Rain had already washed the blood off your face and found you one of the ghoulette’s spare outfits while Mountain had tied up your hair in a ghoulish fashion. Phantom’s brain couldn't compute what he was seeing as he moved cautiously toward where you sat on the ground, still too weak to stand.

Your skin had turned to a violet grey, similar to Phantom’s. Your nails had grown into beautiful claws, and fangs extended where your canines used to be. Your hair turned to a dark blue that almost matched Rain’s, with lighter patches of skin decorating your hairline and cheeks like scales. Phantom noticed your ears were sharp and pointed like Dew's, with the skin at the tip a dark red.

Phantom fell to his knees in front of you, speechless and in awe.

“How–” 

It was like he was looking at an angel gifted from hell. You were one of them now. His beautiful ghuleh, with pieces of all the brothers who helped save you.

When you looked up at Phantom from your place between the two ghouls (who were now your brothers too), Phantom couldn’t contain his tears any longer. Though these were not the tears of sadness and grief from before, these were tears of bewilderment and relief. He didn’t notice at first, but you had the same lighter patch over your eye as he did. Your left eye was a gorgeous shade of ice blue, contrasting the darker grey of the other one. It reminded him of Papa.

“Phantom?”

You were taken aback slightly at the sight of the friendliest ghoul you knew, kneeling in front of you covered in blood from head to toe. He chuckled slightly at the lisp you had when you called his name, not used to your fangs yet. You had extra long ones too, thanks to Swiss. If he was in any other situation, Phantom would've found it incredibly hot.

“If I had known, I would’ve washed up.” He said, looking down at his bloodied attire. His brothers moved aside so Phantom could wrap you in a hug that he never wanted to leave, eager to have your new scent permanently etched onto his soul. “I’m here. I’m never leaving you again.”

The two of you sat like that for a while, your newly heightened senses almost becoming overwhelmed with 5 ghouls and Copia all in the same room. However, if you focused on Phantom, everything felt calm and quiet. You felt safe, wondering if this is how he felt every time he was with you.

You didn’t really know what happened. One minute you were struggling to breathe outside after getting ambushed, the next you had died. Rain and Mountain gave you the Coles notes version of what happened when you awoke. None of which you remembered. You don’t remember much of your time in the pit either. There were ghouls everywhere and it was warm, but not unbearable like you had come to fear it would be. There was one thing you did remember from your time down below though…

“Hey,” you said, as you pushed Phantom off you to look him in the eye. Normally that would’ve been impossible, but you’d worry about that weirdness later. “The devil says Happy Birthday.”

Phantom smiles wider than you have ever seen and places his forehead on yours before desperately, but lovingly, crashing his lips on yours.

“Let’s see Jesus do THAT.” Dew blurts out, completely ruining the tender moment, but not a soul in this room could care as everyone lets out a laugh.

“My dear ghuleh,” Copia says softly, approaching as Phantom helps you to your feet. “You don’t have to choose right now, but in light of your new situation, if there is perhaps a new name you feel is better suited? I can make arrangements on your behalf.”

“Eris.” You spoke as you leaned into Phantom’s touch. “Like the goddess of chaos, cause that’s exactly how this all feels.”

Copia smiled warmly, “Then welcome back to the Ministry, Eris.”

Standing behind you, Phantom cradled you protectively in his arms, nuzzling his nose into your neck. “It’s perfect.”

Copia and your new family left you to get reacquainted. You returned the affection as you twisted to hug your lover once again, relishing in the sweetest scent you had ever experienced as you began to involuntarily rub your cheek over his chest. You were starting to realize what the ghouls meant about the scent thing, Phantom’s was intoxicating and you never wanted to leave. It was like he was made just for you.

“So… I guess no cake then, huh?” Phantom snickers as he leaves soft kisses behind your ear before continuing down your neck.

You quickly pulled away from his embrace. “That was supposed to be a surprise!”

His hands interlocked and rested along the base of your spine. His amused gaze lovingly met the look of disappointment on your face before you let out a frustrated ‘ugh!’ and headbutted his chest.

“Ow!” He yelped. “Sweetheart you’ve got horns now, and apparently Dew gave you some flippin’ pointy ones too.”

“Oops.”

You looked up at Phantom sympathetically, your tail suddenly making an appearance and wrapping around his leg.

“You got my tail though,” he winked.

“My darling ghoul, you have all of me. My heart, my life, and my love, eternally.”

[Prev]

[gigglesandfreckles-hp]

could you do please number 18 for the prompts you posted?

I absolutely love everything you write. I've even read a lot of your Star Wars fic and ive only actually seen a couple of the star wars movies 🤣�� you are just such a gifted writer!

i went a bit AWOL on this and it got away from me! i call this…jily-adjacent??? hope you don't mind, anon! x

from these prompts

“This is ridiculous.”

“I’m beginning to think you’re not enjoying this quality time as much as I am, Evans.”

Lily rolls her eyes, even though he can’t see her through the door. “You know,” she grunts, pulling the skirt up, and smoothing her top down over the hem, “most people opt to go out for a pint or something.” She appraises herself in the tall mirror, then swings open the door to the dressing room. “Just posing an alternative for the future.”

Sirius grins at her. “Don’t act like you didn’t love picking the outfit I’m likely to die in.” He motions for her to turn around and tugs at the skirt, clicking his teeth with the same disappointment he’s shown at the last several options.

She sighs and walks back over to the rack, grabbing the next choice: a midi-length black dress, with puffed sleeves that make her think of her great-grandmum.

“God, this is awful,” she says, pulling it off the hanger.

“In case you’ve forgotten, Evans,” Sirius says, taking the dress from her hands and holding it up in front of her, “you’ve removed ‘going out for a pint’ from the equation for us.” He pokes at her stomach as he turns to put the dress back up on the rack.

Lily smiles automatically at the reminder of what Sirius declared to be the ‘only good fucking news since fucking Hogwarts’ when she and James finally told him last week. She pops back behind the dressing room door, making quick work of the skirt and shirt ensemble, and pulls her own jumper and jeans back on. The jeans feel tighter today than usual, and she wonders if it’s because of the baby or if she’s just imagining things.

“Anyway,” Sirius says, from outside the dressing room, “maybe we should just try some Muggle shops. This place isn’t doing it for me anymore.”

Lily snorts as she pushes back through the doors, once again in her own clothes. “We’re going to the bloody Malfoys’,” she says, lowering her voice. “If we show up in Muggle clothes, we’ll be murdered in the entryway.”

“Excuse me,” Sirius says with a haughty sniff, flicking his hair over his shoulder, “but please don’t speak about my delightful family like that.”

The witch who offered to assist them earlier, before Sirius more or less told her to shut up and leave them alone glares at them from the desk, clearly annoyed that they’re still there and haven’t bought anything yet.

Lily turns back to watch Sirius as he pulls another dress from a nearby rack, frowning as if its existence has deeply offended him. “If the charms wear off and we end up looking like ourselves, who do you think they’re likely to kill first?” she asks.

“Still you,” he says with a regretful sigh. “It’s just such a shame you’ve committed the heinous crime of being born, Lily Potter.”

Sirius and Lily continue to scan the small shop for a dress that could work, but every time Lily finds something remotely bearable, Sirius shoots it down with a comment about the hemline being wrong for her body type or how the style is too 1977.

At Lily’s huff of frustration, Sirius shrugs. “If you just wanted someone to smile and say you look pretty, you should have brought James.”

“Yeah, because he’d love the reminder that we’re going on this mission without him.”

“I tried to get him instead of you,” Sirius reminds her. “Moody said Prongs doesn’t look as good in a dress. Something about the legs.”

“Just find me a dress, Black.”

“What shade of blond?” he asks, referring to the assortment of charms they’ve settled on for their disguises. “Platinum or more of—”

“Why does it matter?”

He affords her the same look of annoyance he’s reserved for the clothes up to this point in their outing. “It’s basic colour theory, Evans.”

She rolls her eyes, but replies, “Like a…honey colour?”

He nods and continues flicking through the hangers. “Speaking of Prongs,” he says, without looking at her—and they weren’t just speaking of him, so Lily knows whatever he’s about to say has been on his mind for a while.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve got some orders.”

“Orders,” Lily echoes, lifting an eyebrow.

He still doesn’t turn to look at her. “If things go tits up, at the Malfoys’, you’re getting the fuck out of there.”

Lily frowns. “Not with—”

“No way, Evans. You’ve—” He turns around now and leans against the rack. “If you wanted to play the hero, you should have thought about that before you got yourself knocked up, alright?”

Lily's brows knit together, and a flicker of irritation sparks in her eyes. “Don’t be so—”

“Obviously, I’m buzzing about the baby! So is Prongs. He—well, Merlin, you don’t need me to tell you. You have to live with the git. But come on, Evans, you can’t be stupid anymore.”

“Stupid anymore?” she bites out. The witch at the desk glances up from her magazine again, but Lily doesn’t care. She steps closer to Sirius, dropping her voice dangerously low. “You and my husband can both fuck off with whatever that is. And I think it’s pretty rich that you and him, of all people, have devised a plan for me to be less stupid, when you two have a patent on the personality trait.”

Sirius laughs loudly, throwing her off kilter. He pats her cheek. “Never change, Evans.”

“What is wrong with you?” she demands.

“Don’t you think,” he says, watching her with a smirk, “that maybe there’s a reason you ended up with Prongs? That you ended up with all of us, really? That maybe it’s not because you even us out and curb our rebellious tendencies, but maybe—just maybe, you’re a little reckless and impulsive, and yeah, a little stupid, too?”

She sputters. “That’s not—”

“If you weren’t,” he continues, still grinning, “my telling you—a woman carrying a literal child in her uterus—to get the hell out of dodge when curses start flying at the Malfoys’ wouldn’t be so personally offensive. In fact,” he tilts his head, “it would probably just seem like common bloody sense.”

Lily opens her mouth to continue to argue with his ridiculous line of logic, but he holds up a hand to stop her as he pulls a deep purple dress from a rack. He holds it against her and smiles widely. 

“This is the one, Evans,” he says with certainty.

She examines it sceptically. “Are you sure? Isn’t it a little—”

He scoffs loudly. “Lily,” he groans with indignation. “Please buy this bloody dress. Your wedding dress was literally horrid and if you’d just asked me, you could have avoided—”

“Oh my God, okay!”

[girlwiththeobsessions]

love sick c.f.

this book has also been published on wattpad. same username as the one on here. i update faster on there.

you and conrad had a secret relationship two summers ago, when you were 15 and he was 16. you broke up with him because your younger sister, belly had liked him, and you were afraid of hurting her. now, flash forward, you were 17, and you thought you had gotten over him, but maybe you haven’t

iv. deb shopping

part 1 part 2 part 3

i had no clue what was going on with conrad, why he was acting so different this summer, making me wonder what happened to the same conrad who would go on and on about infinity.

i slept in that morning, because of the fact that i stayed up way too late at that bonfire, but i eventually got up since i had work today.

when i went downstairs, dressed in a white lifeguard tank top, and red shorts, laurel, steven, and jeremiah were downstairs.

conrad was on the couch, and jere was making a 'hangover smoothie' for him, while steven was standing behind him, looking over his shoulder.

"do we really have to physically sit for our portraits?" jeremiah complained to laurel. "can't she just- look at a picture on her phone or something?"

"right?" i agreed with him.

jeremiah backed up a little from steven, having enough of him hovering over him. "okay, get out." jeremiah pointed at the door.

steven laughed. "what. why?"

"she needs to see you in the flash to capture you essence." laurel said, fixated on her laptop. "while you're still young, and full of hope."

"so poetic, mom." i joked, while steven and jeremiah laughed.

"her words." laurel rolled her eyes at us with a smile.

"well, conrad does not have hope, actually. he's hopeless." jeremiah insulted, causing me to laugh a little. "but! my hangover smoothie, it cures all."

"can you please just hurry up." conrad rushed him from the couch.

"just go back to bed. alright?" jeremiah shot back to him, and steven started looking over his shoulder again.

jeremiah put a hand on steven's chest. "alright, seriously, steven. get out. this is a delicate science."

"she hasn't painted you since you were little. i think it would be nice to have these portraits for when you're older." laurel added in.

"oh, no." steven joked. "when i'm older, they'd have like, holograms i can watch of myself, you know."

"or, this is why we have technology." i say. "where we have pictures? on our phones?"

jeremiah started the blender, causing conrad to jolt awake.

"just sit for your portraits." laurel told me and steven. "you don't see conrad complaining.

"he'll complain when he's actually conscious." i shot back at laurel.

jeremiah went to the couch and tapped conrad. "hey. here."

"come on, man. hurry your ass up, i can't be late to my first day of work." steven rushed jeremiah. "those little country club boomers are gonna tip me so hard they won't know what hit 'em!"

i made a disgusted look at steven. "ew. steven, i swear."

"come on, y/n." jeremiah laughed. "my boys gotta get that bread."

"stop." i shook my head at him.

i look over to see belly walking in the kitchen, and i give her a small smile.

"good morning." jeremiah says to her in an enthusiastic tone.

"belly, where have you been?" laurel asks her in a serious tone. "is that a bruise."

belly stands next to me and i run my fingers over the bruise. "mom, relax, she tripped when we were at the bonfire and landed on her face." i lied, i knew belly wouldn't wanna tell the actual story

"doesn't look that bad." conrad said from the couch, i look over at him, and made eye contact with him for a few seconds before returning my focus back to belly.

"uh, cereal?" jeremiah asked belly.

"yeah, hit me." belly softly responded.

"oh, my god!" susannah ran into the kitchen. "belly and y/n are going to be debutantes!" she hugged both of us.

belly laughed. "it's really not that big of a deal."

i'd forgotten all about the whole deb thing. it'd be hard trying to balance a summer job and being a deb, on top of that, i'd have to find a date.

"i'm sorry, like those two? my sisters, right there?" steven teased us.

"shut up, cretin!" i shot back.

"okay, this is going to be so much fun!" susannah fantasized. "just you wait. there's the tea, the auction, the- ball, of course.. i gotta write this down. we need to go shopping!"

"this sounds expensive." laurel said.

"oh, don't worry, laur, it's on me." susannah smiled. "it was my idea after all."

"y/n, are you sure you wanna do this?" laurel asked me. "it doesn't seem very you."

in truth, not really. but if it made susannah happy, it made me happy. i had to do it for her.

"it's not." conrad, once again, added his two cents from the couch.

i don't know how he went from how he used to act towards me to.. this.

"conrad, could you please be a little more supportive?" susannah told him. "now, which one of you are gonna be belly or y/n's escort to the ball."

"not me." conrad immediately responded.

"shocker." i say, in a sarcastic tone.

"i went last year." conrad finished his sentence.

"me neither. i swore off balls." jeremiah told us, causing steven to laugh. "the dances dude!" jeremiah said, laughing.

"wow, guys!" i say, sarcastically. "stop fighting over us."

"i'm not going with either of you." belly finally spoke up. "i am going to find my own date.

"it says debutantes require instruction, morals, and social etiquette." laurel read off her laptop.

"i'm going for a swim." conrad leaves through the back door, as i watched him go.

"yeah, y/n could use some etiquette." steven laughed.

"and you wonder why you don't have a girlfriend." i rolled my eyes.

all the sound drowned out as i watched conrad from the window, in his shorts, and no shirt on. i missed how things used to be.

i felt a hand on my shoulder. "you alright, y/n?" jeremiah asked me.

"yeah." i tried push aside anything feelings. "we should probably go soon."

"wait." susannah spoke up. "before you go, we have shopping to do!"

"seriously?" i asked. "i have work. i'm not going shopping."

but that wasn't true. susannah is a really convincing person, so before i knew it, i was shopping around stores with susannah, laurel, and belly, for the debutante thing.

i tried on different dresses, all colors, and different accessory's, hats, sunglasses, and bow, bags over my hands and arms.

then, i had to try on a debutante dress, i found a beautiful white long dress, i loved it, but maybe conrad and laurel were right. this whole thing was not my scene.

what have i done?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚

END OF CHAPTER

[eerna]

hello! this ask ended up becoming a very long tangent so feel free to ignore it lmao. just had some thoughts on tpt and idk who else to rant to

i feel like i generally enjoyed tpt but also agree w a lot of criticism ive seen about it (was definitely put off by wrens lack of agency and so disappointed that we didnt see her reunite w her parents…that phone call w her mom was the most emotionally evocative scene for me in the first book and lowkey made me cry).

idk if someone already brought this up but a small thing that bothered me was that the thistlewitch’s bargain with oak never came back to bite him or was even mentioned again. specifically the exchange where she asked him to grant her a request upon becoming king, and he agreed since he didnt plan to be king anyway even though she implied she’d seen otherwise in his future. i get that this is foreshadowing ultimately that oak would become a king through marrying wren rather than inheriting, but it surprised me that the ramifications of him thus having to put his money where his mouth is re:thistlewitch never actually come up when he has the whole ‘oh i’d still be a king by marriage’ realization in tpt.

like it seems like it should be plot relevant that oak is now indebted to a hag who is somewhat implied to be conspiring (or at least affiliated) with mother marrow / bogdana, given that he specifically questions why mother marrow sent him off to the thistlewitch to get info, when she already could have told him that wren had melliths heart. idk was that part ever explained? i listened to the audiobook so if it was i might have zoned out or something, but i lowkey kept expecting that piece to be revealed as part of the hag conspirators’ plan

i guess that its just a red herring having finished the book now, but i was still confused that oak never even reflects back on it in his inner monologue at some point, especially when he realizes that he is still on track to becoming a king when he marries wren? like the book just ends with him being like ‘i guess ill be a king :) for you :)’ so i suppose hes either forgotten about the thistlewitch or doesnt care

maybe i read far too much into this one interaction or just missed something. but idk it just seems like a missed opportunity and/or dropped plot line to me and i really feel like that red string corkboard charlie day meme just thinking about it.

thank u for reading if you got through it all :,)

No worries, I enjoy reading ppl's takes in my inbox, be it positive or negative~ SAME the Thistlewitch was the BACKBONE to all my TPT predictions and then she ended up irrelevant. Then when the entire consort VS king/queen topic popped up I was like OH SMART, this could be a good middle ground. But no. Despite all his best attempts at avoiding it, he is still getting a crown, hence the hags can still collect that boon one day. And what if the boon is "Reignite the Court of Teeth's insurgence and march against Elfhame and put your hag bride on the throne". What then.

[tinyarmedtrex]

91 ("I remember everything") for firstprince would be amazing!!!

You've got it Nonnie! TW for hospitals and comas.

Henry had forgotten how bloody loud hospitals were. It wasn't just the staff darting about or patients being rushed to and fro. No, it was the beeping of the monitors, the drip of an IV. All these modest sounds that amounted to a constant din. One that didn't let you forget, even for a second, where you were. 

"Well Alex, shall I read you the headlines?" He asked, opening the morning paper. It was a ritual he'd started. By the fourth day he'd run out of his own words. He'd considered bringing books and reading those to Alex, but he knew his fiancé. The man would much prefer to be kept abreast of local politics than hear Emma for the third time.

"Hm, it looks like that city council member we loath caused another scandal. Unsurprisingly."

Alex, of course, didn't respond. At least not beyond the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the steady beeping of his heart rate monitor. At this point Henry didn't expect him to. He'd spent the first two days trying to wake him, imagining that if he said something outlandish enough that perhaps it would shock him into waking up. Nothing worked. Not even saying that his grandmother would be marching in a pride parade or that Pez was becoming an investment banker. 

So now he just read. The doctors said that it was good for Alex to hear his voice. Even if it didn't seem like it, he was listening. They said might help bring him back. Henry clung to that hope, needing it to be true. But with every hour that slipped by his hope diminished.

It had been ten days. The longest ten days of his life. Ten days since Henry got the call that Alex had been shot, that he was in intensive care, that they didn't know how bad it would be. 

Now, it seemed that he was out of the woods, physically at least. But Alex was still in a coma and Henry had been warned that he may have some memory loss. Whenever he pressed for more details, he was met with something akin to "I'm sorry, but we won't know until he wakes up".

He tried to take heart in the fact that they still thought he would wake up.

Henry put down the paper to look at Alex. He still wasn't used to seeing Alex so still. Even in sleep he tended to act like he was being attacked by the pillows. Henry could have never guessed how much he'd miss the constant fidgeting. "You're a fighter, love. You've always been one." He had to stop as tears welled up in his eyes. "You can beat this; I know you can." Each day the odds of waking up decreased. Henry knew that soon doctors would be asking different questions, telling him that it wasn't fair to any of them to keep Alex like this.

"Please wake up." He finished as the door opened and June slipped in for her shift. 

"Love you Hen," she said as he left. They didn't even bother discussing updates anymore. There hadn't been any changes for days.

Reluctantly, Henry returned to their flat. Everyone told him that he needed to take care of himself too, go home and sleep, shower, relax. But how was he supposed to relax when everything in their flat reminded him that his person wasn't there? It was too quiet, too still. David was staying with Pez, which made it even worse to be home. It was truly just him. 

Henry took a shower before wandering aimlessly. He knew he should try to sleep but couldn't bring himself to go to their bed. It was too big without Alex in it.

He eventually went to the couch and turned on Great British Bake Off before falling into a restless sleep.

Only to be awoken by his phone. Rubbing his eyes he saw that he had several missed calls and texts. He played one of the voicemails from Nora.

"Henry, he's awake. You've got to get here. Quick." 

Maybe there was more. He didn't hear it if there was. He was already at the door, reading the messages as he ran. None of them gave any details, all just said to get to the hospital. 

The fact that Henry managed not to get arrested on the way was nothing short of a miracle. He'd never driven so recklessly. But Alex was the only thing on his mind. 

Finally he was there. June and Nora were waiting outside the room. 

"Is he-" Henry started then stopped, unsure how to end the sentence.

"He's awake." Nora said. "That's the good news."

Henry stopped, his eyes flitting between them. "And the bad news?"

June looked close to tears. "He doesn't remember any of us." 

Nora patted her hand then looked at Henry. "But the doctors said-"

He was already pushing past them, rushing inside the room. The sight made him want to sob. There was Alex, sitting up and chatting with a nurse. All the heads turned to him and people parted to let him past.

"Hello." Henry said, carefully watching Alex for any flicker of recognition. 

"Hi." Alex cocked his head. "Are you my- accountant?"

He had to close his eyes, so Alex didn't see the hurt in them. "Not exactly." 

Everyone cleared the room, saying something about giving them a moment and Henry sat next to Alex. "I'm your- well-" He stopped, swallowed. What if Alex didn't even remember he was bi? How much had he lost? 

"My what, baby?" 

The pet name opened the floodgates and Henry started to sob. It took several minutes for him to calm down. When he did, he looked back at Alex. "Fiancé. I'm your fiancé."

Alex's eyes opened wide as he looked at Henry. "You?"

He nodded, bracing for the worst.

But Alex only grinned. "Shit, I have good taste."

Henry let out a wet laugh. "I'll tell you everything, when you're ready. Even if you never remember I - I can do it for us both." It was a promise he'd made to himself. He would stay as long as Alex would have him, even if his memories never returned. He'd remember for them both.

"Kiss me." 

"What?"

"I know I probably have awful breath but- please? I need to kiss you."

Henry had never been able to deny Alex before, he certainly wasn't going to start now. So, he leaned over and kissed him. He'd intended it to be short, but then Alex gripped the back of his head, drawing him in, and Henry had no desire to move away. Mere hours ago, he hadn't known if he would ever get to kiss Alex again. He certainly wasn't going to be the one to pull back now.

Eventually though a nurse came in, citing a heartrate spike. The two muttered a vague apology but Henry couldn't tear his eyes away from Alex. 

"I'm Henry." He said, realizing he probably should have said that first.

Alex gave him that trademark grin. "Oh, I know sweetheart. I remember everything." 

[wadesprincessboy]

Just had the worlds worst conversation with my mother (under cut)

Tw: rape, CSA, vent

So, I mentioned my fear of sharing a room with someone right? And my mum asks me why im scared of that, and i share that its because im constantly afraid of the other person raping me in my sleep, or otherwise assaulting me sexually. And i thought this was a normal-ish fear right? Like everyone is super hyper vigilant about sexual assault right? But my mum said thats actually really concerning, and asked if anyone has ever assaulted me, to which i said no, not to my knowledge. Anyway this lead to a conversation about how im constantly terrified, how any time a man walks past i shiver and think that this might be it, that he might grab me and rape me, how i cant go out early in the morning or late at night because im scared something will happen, how i cant get close to people physically because they might touch me inappropriately, and how i dont have sleepovers at friends houses because im scared. And my mother asked me questions about it, and she got really worried, and i said "but its fine, if someone raped me as a kid i would remember it", and I thought shed agree but instead she brought up how she was raped at age 4 and didnt remember until she was 20 and reading a book about CSA. And then I remembered a few books i tried reading, and how i couldnt get past where they mention/imply CSA because it made me panic. And i asked my mum if i showed signs of it as a kid, and she said yes, but i was so emotionally dysregulated because of the other abuse, not to mention undiagnosed autism, that it was impossible to tell, and that wouldve made me a perfect victim. I said theres no way because i wasnt around any pervy men, and while my dad was pure evil, he wasnt that evil, and anyway he has so many kids that someone wouldve said something by now, right? Well, he had no contact with any of his kids except me and one of my half sisters, and both of us have always been alike in our behaviour, and my sister used to beat me up, but she would kick me in the privates because "no one would check there" and now i think of it, how did she know that? How did she know to attack me there at such a young age? But then again, she couldve come into contact with plenty of men i didnt. Theres no way that happened to me, right? And i tell my mother this, and she said maybe, but then she brought up my asexuality and what ive told her about my experience with sex, and she said she was concerned even with that but now with the other stuff shes really worried, and she says i should talk to my counsellor about it, because she knows she wouldnt be clear headed enough to help me considering her personal history and the fact that well, shes my mum. But then i thought more about what ive said about being ace, and how i do experience attraction and i like the idea of sex in theory but the thought of being touched makes me feel sick, and i have nightmares about the time i had sex, despite it being fully consensual and the fact that in the moment i loved it, and when i am reminded of sex i feel physically ill, and apparently thats not being ace, that's something much more concerning? Not to mention the fanfic i used to write, where every self insert i had would always be sexually abused, despite me supposedly never being abused in that way myself. And i have nightmares all the time about being raped, but i put that down to watching too much svu. Also, tmi but like, i cant even pleasure myself without feeling violently ill and sobbing because i hate sexual acts so much....all of this is to say, i dont fucking remember if anything ever happened to me, but i do know i have forgotten other traumatic moments, and that scares the shit out of me. Im 100% not ok rn, and i cant think of anything else other than i mightve been assaulted as a child and i dont remember it. I really hope not, obviously. I dont see my counsellor for another two weeks and idk who to talk to about this. I bet none of this made sense, i just needed to get it off my chest. Im scared and worried, because what if my biggest fear already happened and i didnt know it?

[mariatesstruther]

❄️

from my crossfaded!maria wip!

summary/scene: early-ish in his time in jackson, tommy finds himself taking care of maria and talia (dina’s older sister) after they have a lil too much fun

“alright, maria.”

“why are you— why are talking to me like that?”

“like what?”

“like that, tommy. like ive had too much to drink.”

“i have a feeling i wont get away with answering that, ma’am”

“ma’am,” she mocked him like she always does, except far worse. “ma’am ma’am ma’am. i dont like it when you call me that. i like it too much.”

“What?” He looks her in the face with his eye brows furrowed, holding back his laugh—it’s clear from her red eyes as well as confused words that she’s still crossed, as johnny has said. “Oh, jesus, you’re really gone. you’re drunk as Cooter Brown.”

“Who the hell is Cooter Brow—“

“Cooter!” Talia exclaims the word from her spot on the floor, giggling hard with her eyes pressed shut in blissful peace. Her giggles turn into a cackle as she brings her arm to point a finger up at Tommy without even looking. “You said Cooter!”

“Okay, alright—“ He tries to move on, but Maria snorts and, to his surprise, starts giggling too; then it’s fucking pointless. He puts his face in his hands, defeated. By the time he finished a deep, long sigh, Talia and Maria are both on the floor near tears, rolling like a pair of hyenas.

maria pauses her laughing for just a second to gasp out towards talia “oh, god, i’m feeling it—talia, i’m fucking feeing it. my face is so warm, talia—why did you do this to me?”

“i did this to you?” talia is giggling so hard her face is damn near completely red, an impressive feat considering how tanned her skin is. she points a finger at herself and then turns it towards maria, nearly poking the other woman in the face. “you did this to you! i told you not to drink it—you smoked enough!”

“drink it?” tommy balked. what the fuck? “how the—did you make goddamn pot tea?”

“uh—“ judging from her face, she’d apparently forgotten he was there again. she tried to school her face into something clueless as maria continued to giggle adorably, muffling it into her hands. “pot? what pot? who said anything abou—?”

“Quit that,” Tommy says—and fuck, he sounds like Joel for a second he’s so exasperated. “Please, please tell me you didn’t let Maria drink decade-old weed, Talia.”

talia drops the act and pouts, clearly put out that he isn’t going along with her jokes—to be fair, he usually does. being up at what he guesses is hours past midnight isn’t helping his mood. Perhaps noticing his grumpy exhaustion, she goes on. “I obviously grow my own, buzzkill—it’s fresh! Do you want some? You seem like you could use some.”

“No. I do not want some.”

“Are you sure?”

“I—,” Tommy rubs a hand over this face, from his forehead to his mustache, and lets out a little laugh. He really can’t ever help it, with Talia. “Yeah, I’m sure. Thank you. Maybe later.”

“whatever you do,” he hears maria say, and he looks over—somehow, fast and quiet, she settled herself to lie straight with her back across the floor. she looks up at him with red-rimmed, squinty eyes and a small comfy smile; the sight of her so relaxed and blissed out makes him fall a little bit in love. she continues to speak, voice low and slightly slurred: “drink that shit slowly, tommy. i did it too fast, and now—“

talia and him watch, silent and amused, and maria takes a big deep breath, a big in-and-out like she’s just eaten the fullest meal of her life. her smile grows, slow and dangerous and beautiful, to show pearly white teeth.

“—now I can’t fucking move!” She breaks out into delighted cackled once again, and this round specifically reminds him so much of how she’d laughed in his arms when they’d first met—the memory makes his cheeks heat and his chest ache. oblivious to his yearning, she goes on, laughing. “i don’t want to fucking move, i feel so heavy. it’s fucking amazing.”

“yeah,” talia beams down at her from her spot on the couch, crossing her arms and straightening up. clearly, she’s proud and pleased with herself. “My shit’ll do that to you. I told you not to drink the whole thing.”

“Oh, whatever, it’s great, I’m great. I’m amazing,” Maria waves a hand in the air towards Talia, sloppily, and it drops back down onto her stomach with a comical smack. “Pot is great, Talia—you’re amazing! Tommy’s amazing, everything’s amazing.”

Talia shoots up an amused smirk at Tommy; the both of them are trying their best not to laugh at Maria, this time. “You hear that, Tommy? You’re amazing.”

[jeysbvck]

freedom (is standing next to you) - chapter 6.

author note: once again, credit to @rishlurh for my header & banner! hope you all enjoy this chapter, please let me know if you do, i'm not 100% convinced i should continue! and again, PLEASE REBLOG.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: one mention of rape, main characters injured, violence. im not sure if ive forgotten anything so pls let me know if i have!

taglist (if you wanna be added/removed, just let me know!): @tinalbion @maplefire18 @honeyglee @mercurial-make-em-ups @valeriiecameron @azaleaforsure @stylesxmunson

summary: an attack on the ship interrupts you & eddie, and everything makes you re-examine your feelings.

If seven months ago, someone had told you'd be standing in Captain Eddie Munsons quarters, you'd have called them insane. There were a surprising number of lanterns dotted around the place, and between those and the sheer amount of trinkets he had, the place had a glow about it. This was by far more trinkets than Robin had, and you couldn't help but smile as you thought about the two of them having a competition of who could collect the most. There were paintings on the wall, some were in frames, and so beautiful, they looked like they should be hung up in a museum, whereas some looked like they'd been done by an amateur. They weren't bad, however, the artist had done them had an incredible talent, and the fact Eddie had them on the walls told you that they meant a great deal to Eddie. You walked towards a cabinet full of weapons, some guns you recognised from Nancy's books, but it was the swords that intrigued you. One was silver, with random carvings etched into the black hilt, while another was all black, with a single ruby in the middle of the hilt. You ran your finger over one of the daggers carefully as you walked towards another shelf of trinkets, making a mental note to check out the bookcase that caught you eye from the other side of the room.

You were immediately drawn to a small, round silver box that seemed to shine brighter than the things around it. It was beautiful, with pale blue ornate markings that almost looked like jewels when the light hit it. It was heavier than you anticipated, and when you opened it, the gentle lullaby instantly transported you to being a little girl again, lying in bed in your mother's arms as she showed you her own music box, one different from this, but with the same melody. One that had been lost long ago.

"A drink for the lady." Eddie said. You turned on your heels and closed the box, the music stopping abruptly. You took the drink from Eddie's outstretched hand and put the music box back where you'd found it. "What do you think?"

"Of what?" You asked, and Eddie rolled his eyes as he gestured around the room. You followed his hand, and almost choked on the rum you were drinking when you saw the large, four poster bed. Eddie smirked, his eyes glued to you as you tried to drink away the thoughts of Eddie in the bed.

"Is the Captain's quarters everything you thought it would be?" He asked. There was something in his voice, something you couldn't quite put your finger on, but you didn't like it all the same.

"Eddie, I've literally never thought about this room before."

"Yeah? You sure about that?" Eddie arched his eyebrow, the corner of his lip arching ever so slightly, but just as smugly. Okay, sure, maybe you'd thought about what goes on behind these doors, especially when Eddie and Steve stayed locked in here for days, and there might have been a couple of sleepless nights when your thoughts drifted to Eddie being in bed, and if he was thinking about you. But you'd never tell him about those rare happenings.

"Yeah, Eddie, I'm sure." You said firmly, refusing to break eye contact. Eddie chuckled under his breath and sat down on his bed. He patted the empty space next to him, but not before pointing to the bottle of rum next to you. You rolled your eyes as you grabbed it and sat next to Eddie, handing off the bottle as you did. Although you were gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, you could tell it was as comfortable as it looked and you mentally cursed yourself as your brain conjured up another image of Eddie in bed.

Never really one for small talk, Eddie jumped right into it. "What's going on, Princess? And let's not waste time with you pretending everything's fine. You've banished yourself from the cabin, has something happened?"

"No, nothing's happened. It's just been a strange few days. Nancy and Robin have been on my case for weeks about...something, and nothing I say can persuade them that they're wrong, and then today, I walked in on- wait, do you know?"

"Do I know...what? Oh, about Robin and Nancy?"

You gasped and pointed your finger at him, "So Robin did tell you! How long have you known? I can't believe she told you and Nancy didn't te-"

"Whoa Princess, Robin hasn't told me anything, I mean, it's pretty obvious though, it's written all over their faces!" Eddie laughed. "So wait, what did you walk into?"

"They were kissing!"

"And that's why you banished yourself from the cabin?"

"Yeah, kinda." You sighed, as Eddie filled your glass up again.

"Wow, didn't take you for that kinda person." Eddie replied and your eyes widened. "What? No, Eddie," You sighed and rubbed your forehead. "I don't care that they're both women, and it's, whatever, that Nancy didn't tell me. It's just, Robin made a comment about not being able to...spend time together, because there's three of us, and it hit a sore spot, so I thought I'd give them space." You explained.

"So that explains the self-banishing, but what about the other thing? You were so jumpy, it was like you weren't present."

You chuckled slightly and shook your head. "Now that, really was nothing, it was just me being slightly too lost in my thoughts." You really didn't want to talk about it, but one look at Eddie confirmed he was never going to drop it.

"Come on, we're friends. Talk to me." Eddie insisted, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. There was that word again, friends. It felt like he was really pushing the friend rhetoric, and it was weird. Had Robin said something, to Eddie, or to Steve, who'd told Eddie? She wouldn't go that far, right?

"Eddie," You whined. Before you could say anything else though, Eddie cut you off.

"Before you decline, just remember, I'm the Captain, and I can, and will, annoy you to death before I give up."

"Wow, what a power trip." You replied. "Alright, fine, Captain, but only because you're really annoying." You held out your glass and Eddie obliged, filling it to the brim. You finished half the glass in one drink, then looked down at sloshing brown liquid.

"I'm scared, okay? I'm scared I killed my father."

Eddie was silent for a moment, but it felt like forever. He places his glass on the crate next to his bed and was clearly choosing his words carefully. "When did you kill your father? I thought you left in the middle of the night?"

"No, not by my hands. But, Eddie, what if my actions killed him? What if running away, getting on this ship, what if I killed him? Why didn't I just stay?"

Eddie's expression softened at the sight of you spiralling. Speaking it out loud didn't help the weight that was crushing you and it didn't silence that voice in your head. All it did was make you seem crazy, because it was crazy. You knew it was. Eddie replaced the glass you were holding with his hand, and squeezed your hand as hard as he could three times, which brought your focus back to him.

"You know why you didn't stay." Eddie said, softly. "It wasn't what you wanted and it wasn't what your mother wanted either. Your father let his grief consume him, and it made him forget what- and who- was important. You just did what you had to do. Look, your dad could be alive and well, but if he isn't, that's on him. You didn't kill him."

Every time you interacted with Eddie, he surprised you, and this was no different. He didn't really show this side of him around the crew, which made sense, being the Captain, and you couldn't help but wonder if he was like this around anyone else, or if it was just you. "I know that, up here." You replied, tapping your temple with your finger. "But in here," you add, placing your hand on your chest, "I don't know, it feels...like my head is lying to me. And shouldn't you always go with your heart, not your head?"

"Not when your heart is a lying jackass. No offence." He said with a grin and you smiled in spite of yourself. "I know it feels like, if you lose your father, you lose the last thread of your family, but that's not true."

"It's not? Because it sure feels like it is."

"No! Because you can make your own family. Family doesn't always mean related by blood. It's who you'd fight for, who you'd do anything to protect, who you'd die for."

"Thanks Eddie, truly. I know it's stupid, but I guess when you don't tell anyone, things can manifest."

"You haven't spoken to Nancy about this? Well, I feel honored." Eddie lifted up your chin and grinned. "I'm here for you, okay?"

You nodded, unable to look away from Eddie, just as he couldnt from you. His eyes darted to your lips, and your chest tightened. A loud crash came from above, making you look up. "Should we be worried?" You whispered, but Eddie shook his head.

"They're idiots, they've probably just dropped something." He whispered, tracing your jawline with his finger before cupping your cheek. He leaned in ever so slightly, giving you the option of pulling away. You were frozen to the spot, the way Eddie was softly stroking your cheek was intoxicating, unable to remove yourself from the trance that his touch had put you under. But once again, the universe had other plans.

There was another loud crash, only this time, it was from the door to Eddie's quarters, and there stood Steve, gasping for breath. "Cap, you gotta come, it's- we're under attack!"

Eddie jumped up and raced to his weapon cabinet. He grabbed his gun, a dagger and a sword, while Steve was shouting details at him.

"Is it the Royals?" Eddie asked, and Steve shook his head.

"I don't think so, but it could be. It's chaos up there, hurry!"

You attempted to follow Steve, but Eddie pulled you back. "You're staying here." He said, his tone had shifted back to Pirate Captain, but you shook your head. "You cannot come up there! Best case scenario, it's the Royals. Worst case is it's more pirates, and they will rape you before they give you up for the bounty!"

Nausea took over your body, but you stood firm. "Nancy's up there, Eddie! I can't stay here while she's up there!" You yelled. Eddie grabbed your face in his hands, and forced you to look into his eyes.

"I swear to you, I will protect Nancy. I won't let anything happen to her. But you, you gotta stay down here, please."

You groaned and pulled yourself from Eddie's grip, but nodded in defeat. The fact you had to sit down here and wait, well you hated it. You knew there wasn't really much you could do up there; apart from being in the way and being a huge liability, but with Nancy up there, you didn't care about yourself at all. You just wanted her to be safe. "I promise, okay?" Eddie said, and you nodded, reluctantly. He brought your hand up to his face and placed his lips against your knuckles, before he tilted his head to a door that you hadn't noticed before. "It's a closet, if you hear anything outside that door, get in there as fast as you can." And with one last look, Eddie followed Steve out to the war zone above.

You weren't sure how long you were sitting on the floor; hugging your knees, just waiting, listening to the sounds of death coming from above. You had no idea if anyone on the crew was okay, or what was even happening. But then, a loud bang against Eddie's door echoed, then shouting, followed by more banging. You looked to the closet, but you were too far away, so you opted for the closest thing. You crawled underneath the bed and held your hand against your mouth as the door splintered open seconds later. You watched feet wander around the room and trinkets get thrown to the floor, and your hand got tighter against your mouth.

Your heart almost gave out as you let out the loudest scream possible as someone grabbed your ankle and pulled you out from under the bed. You kicked out with your free foot, and a second attacker pulled you up by your hair. "Shut up, bitch!" He hissed. You fought as much as you could, managing to claw at his face. He let go of you and you raced to the weapons cabinet and swiped a dagger off it, before being punched in the face and thrown against the wall.

"Look what the Captain's been hiding away." The pirate sneered. "I could still get a pretty penny after I've finished with you, even with that black eye." His finger ran down your cheek, but it made your skin crawl, it didn't feel anything like when Eddie did it. "I'm going to enjoy my time with y-"

You pulled the dagger out of his abdomen and he fell against you as the light left his eyes. You pushed the lifeless body to the floor and stumbled towards the closet. Before you could get there, a defeaning Pop! echoed out, and you hit the floor.

You rolled over onto your back, unable to hear anything but the sound of ringing in your ears. As the attacker stalked towards you, you scrambled backwards, still gripping the dagger, and pain excruciating from your shoulder, but you pushed through it. When the attacker leaned down to grab you, you sliced his arm as hard as you could.

"Bitch!" He spat, and as he picked you up off the floor, you punctured his neck with the dagger. He staggered back and grabbed at his neck, and you let out an agonising scream when your shoulder broke your fall.

You watched, terrified, as your attacker stumbled around, spluttering up blood. When he clattered to the wooden floor, it fell silent, and let out an anguished sob as you lay on the floor. You reached up to your shoulder and looked at your hand, blood seeping through your fingers, and you frowned, confused, as a sheet of black began to drape over you, but Nancy's voice made your eyes snap open.

"Oh my God, Robin, come help me!" She yelled, and your two friends hovered over you. Nancy cradled your head and she moved some hair from your face. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. "Are you okay?!" Robin asked for her.

"I think so." You said, breathlessly. "Are you okay?" Robin nodded, and you looked back to Nancy. "Nance, are you okay?"

Nancy nodded, but tears threatened to escape her eyes. "Nance? Are you hurt?" She shook her head. "It's not me, it's-"

Nancy stopped talking as Jonathan and Steve came bundling into the room, shouting and carrying an unconscious Eddie. "Steve! Get him on the bed!" Jonathan yelled and tried to sit up, letting out a sharp hiss as you caught your shoulder.

"What? Is he okay?" You asked, your voice panicked and high. Nancy and Robin both helped you up, and you rushed to Eddie's side, Robin helping you into the chair she had dragged across the room for you. His face looked so peaceful, but when you looked at the injuries, a sob got caught in your throat. Blood had dried and stained his white shirt, and you were pretty sure that was a bullet hole in his shoulder. "What happened?!"

"He, uh- I don't-" Steve was a wreck, standing on the other side of his Captain, just staring down at him. Jonathan and Nancy had taken charge, Nancy was already ripping your shirt, and was about to use alcohol to clean your own shoulder wound, while Jonathan was ransacking the room

"He saved Nancy's life." Robin muttered. "He practically jumped in front of the bullet."

Your eyes left Eddie and shot up to Steve, wide and teary, but Steve firmly shook his head. "No, don't even think that."

"Steve." You said, while Nancy and Robin both asked at the same time, "What's going on?"

Steve walked around the bed and crouched down in front of you. "He's the Captain, even if he hadn't promised you, he'd have still done it. He'd have taken that bullet for any one of us on this ship."

You knew Steve was right, and you nodded. You reached out and took his hand, and gave it a tight squeeze before letting go and taking Eddie's limp hand. Jonathan cut Eddie's shirt off, as he and Steve cleaned the wound. Everyone was silent while Nancy cleaned yours, and you pulled your fingers gently through Eddie's curls as you begged him quietly to come back to you.

"Come on, you need to rest." Nancy urged you once your own wound was cleaned and wrapped, and you shook your head. "Please, just a few hours. He's still going to be here in the morning." But still, you shook your head. You weren't going anywhere, not until he was awake, no matter how long it took.

[orangeslikesbread]

yk, I've seen you talk about Jeri x Emma before. I'm afraid that I don't see the potential but I'm very curious to hear about the potential

tbh, i dont remember why or how I started shipping them, I think I just liked the look of them together !!

but now that ive liked them for a while I really like the idea of their potential dynamic !! i think they probably met at camp idontwannabang in middle school (emma was forced to go), and her and jeri became friends, like the rebel girl and shy normie bsf (bad analogy but whtvr). also the fact the both say the line "things in the forest grow fast, and big, and different" (or smth like that I don't remember the exact line) and I think maybe it something they joked about when they were kids bc adults told it to them to try and scare them into being obedient, which emma obviously didn't care about or believe them, but jeri did and emma would laugh at her and call her a wimp (in a silly playful way ofc) and jeri would always try and act tough around her to try and impress her.

but by the time they got into highschool, emma stopped going to the camp and jeri went to sycamore, they didn't really talk anymore (jeri's parents thought emma was a bad influence so they could only really hang out at camp and during school). but jeri would still go to see every school play and musical at hatchetfield high just so she could see emma, but ofc as soon as she turned 18 emma was up and out of town, so eventually jeri forgot about her, they both forgot about each other.

until one day, when they are both adults (jeri is working at the camp and emma is living on her farm), and basically absintence camp happens except jeri survives, so she just runs through the woods, and keeps running until she is stopped by a large farm house blocking her path. she bangs and bangs on the door until (a very high) emma opens the door. they are both a little shaken up because they had practically forgotten about each other (not really, jeri had been thinking about her a lot more recently with all the lil jerry stuff going on, but she didn't know emma had been back in town bc she doesn't really go downtown and she knows beanies is shit so shes never been, and when emma came back into town, all her childhood memories w/ jeri came flooding back and she cant stop thinking about her and she doesn't know why -suprise surprise its cuz shes gay asf-), but nonetheless emma lets her in because she is clearly in distress, she makes jeri some tea or smth and comforts her

sorry i started babbling i just love them sm💗💗(I have so many thoughts abt them)

[endlessly-cursed]

Feeling of Love (Thacie)

A/N: Lately I’ve been having Thacie on my mind and decided to put a little something. Thane belongs to my dear @potionboy3​ and Minnie Ives belongs to @kathrynalicemc I hope you like it! It’s fluff with a teensy bit of tension between them 

Summary: Thane invites Lucie to a dinner. 

Word Count: 1.7k words 

Lucie had been summoned by Thane to talk in the Greenaway gardens, and she had taken much more care in her looks than usual, something her dear sister-in-law Minnie had pointed: she dressed in a rich dark green gown with a black hat and hairpins with flower decorations. Finally, she sprayed one of her most prized eau de colognes and added a subtle rogue to her cheeks and lips.

When she arrived at the point of meeting, Thane turned around and smile. By God, she thought, has he always been so beautiful?

His dirty blonde hair, sweet black eyes and cutting cheekbones, his bobbing apple visible… has she been blind all along? She cleared her throat and smiled at him, and he kissed her hand, though this time, his lips lingered longer than it should, as well as his grip of it. Their eyes met, and Lucie tried not to blush “How is, uh, you day so far?”

“It has been good,” he smiled “though now it has greatly improved.”

Lucie couldn’t help but blush this time and bit back a smile “That is, ah, good. S-shall we?”

He offered his arm and she took it, feeling his warmth and muscles on her gloved hand. She could also smell him, and by God, what a pleasant essence that was: books, wood, ink and Thane.

They chatted for a bit, laughing and looking at one another wistfully into their eyes before looking away. They sat on one of the benches and noticed how close their pinkies were. Before she could decide who won the intrusive thoughts fight, Thane spoke “As you know, we are holding a private dinner. Uncle Luca has invited everyone, and I was wondering if you’d come… as my personal companion.”

Lucie’s breath got caught and looked into his eyes, her lips parting slightly. She wondered if she imagined seeing his eyes darkening and licking his lips “Oh! Thane… I… I would love to! But I don’t think your uncle—,”

“Leave my uncle to me, dear.” He spoke.

Dear. Lucie looked at him, her heart racing. She looked down to see their pinkies together, how close he was, how warm, how beautiful he was in the morning light. He got up and scratched the back of his neck “Forgive me. I—overstepped. I shouldn’t be taking these liberties with you—,”

“I would love nothing more than being your companion for the evening.” She spoke before she could even think of a clever answer. She cleared her throat “F-for the dinner, I mean. I would love to be your dinner companion.”

He smiled and kissed her hand “I shall be waiting for you to come tonight then. I will see you at seven. Of course, your brother and sister-in-law are very much welcome.”

She nodded and bowed her head before drifting off to her carriage, her heart pounding. She exhaled and smiled. She hasn’t felt like that in a very long time. Not since she started falling for her husband, Edward. It looked like it had been centuries. And, in a way, it had been that long, but not for Lucie. She remembered how they looked at one another, their hands slightly touching, their dances together, so short yet so long. Would it there be a dance? She hoped so.

Upon arriving to Barony Altergham, Minnie was minding the roses. She still fell embarrassed when she had forgotten her, but the potion her brother had invented had helped. They greeted one another and Lucie told her as she minded the roses “I realised I do not know what to wear! Would purple be too much? Perhaps gold? Maybe blue! Or red…”

Minnie looked at her sister-in-law amused “I don’t think I’ve seen you like this. Caring a bit too much for what you wear… Has something changed?”

“No! …Yes? Maybe. I don’t know!”

“Does this have anything to do with Thane Greenaway?”

A small smile formed into the corners of her mouth and Minnie giggled “Oh, Merlin, you’re falling for him!”

“By God, am I?” She wondered, blushing bright.

“Oh, definitely. Look at your cheeks! And the light in your eyes! You are falling in love with him!”

Before she could say anything, Ambrose came in, only in his shirt and pantaloons. He kissed Minnie’s cheek and then his sister’s “Sister. You left early. Do you have something to tell me?”

“Well… we have been invited to dine with the Greenaways.”

Ambrose’s eyebrows shoot up, but smiled nevertheless “It seems like we have a plan for tonight, after all. I shall prepare myself mentally before re-introducing my dear wife to people who have shared a class with her for years.”

Both women laughed and Minnie squeezed Lucie’s hand “Let us get dolled up for your Greenaway boy!”

They both giggled before rushing upstairs. For the rest of the afternoon, and only stopping for tea and scones, Minnie and Lucie were both trying to decide what to wear. Minnie opted for a simple maroon dress with few embellishments, so she wouldn’t outshine Lucie, who wore a royal blue dress, making her striking blue eyes stand out. They curled her hair and made a complicated hairdo that allowed most of her hair down, while part of it was made in a hairdo. They painted her lips with a rogue that made them a shade darker of pink, but still a discreet one. They also coloured her cheeks and sprayed perfume on her navel, behind her ear, the wrists, behind the knees and her ankles, so, quoting Minnie, ‘Thane slept with her fragrance on his mind’, saying that it’d make him think of her even more. With a few more touches, she was ready for the dinner.

When they arrived, the moment their usuals started asking about the beautiful woman in Ambrose’s arm, Thane looked at Lucie and strid across the room, kissing her hand and Lucie smiled “Mr. Greenaway. You look rather dashing.”

“And you look perfect, Miss Cromwell.”

Lucie smiled and greeted Luca, who had still his arrogant sneer, hidden with a perfect smile. She sat with Thane, Luca at the head of it. There were at least another ten people. Lucie and Thane exchanged glances, which followed with a smile from her. She also tried her luck with brushing her foot against Thane’s. She could see how his breath caught and gave Lucie a longing look. She smiled innocently and focused on something Luca was boasting about.

While serving dessert, Lucie brushed her hand against Thane’s, and he gave it a squeeze before his hands went back up. Lucie did her best to command her cheeks not to redden, but failed, feeling the heat in her face “Miss Cromwell, you look quite flustered.”

“Oh, it’s not that, sir. I may have put too much rogue on my cheeks,” she deftly lied, Thane with a teasing smile. He quickly dropped it the moment Luca glanced at him.

After the meal was finished, as Lucie chatted with a guest, Thane passed behind her, his hand brushing the small of her back for a few seconds. She tried her best not to gasp or look into his direction as he left for cigarettes and cards with the men.

“Are you quite alright, Miss Cromwell?”

“Q-Quite. Do tell me about Vienna! I hear the opera is lovely there!”

“I… was talking about Marseille.”

Lucie laughed awkwardly, rising her cup to her lips, taking a deep breath to ease herself. Minnie came to the rescue, something about powdering her nose. Lucie exhaled when she was out of social scrutiny and Minnie told her to wait for her inside a drawing room.

“What is that important matter, Lucie?” Someone called as they closed the door.

Lucie turned around to see Thane, curious and delighted to be alone with her in a room.

“Well, I…”

Thane smiled “You didn’t summon me here as your friend said, did you?”

She looked away and bit her lip “Are you disappointed?”

His smile got bigger “Not at all.” He sat on the couch and motioned Lucie to do the same, and Lucie glanced at his lips: not too big, not to small, and looked so fluffy… she shook her head. A lady shouldn’t have such sinful thoughts, especially with a man that is not her husband!

Thane brushed a strand of hair from her face and smiled at her “How are you liking the soiree so far?”

“It was nice. But now it’s nicer.”

Thane gazed at her with longing and brushed his hand against her cheek. Without even thinking, she leaned against it “Have I ever told you how beautiful you look?”

She gazed at him through her lashes “Not enough,” She was no longer thinking with her head, that was for sure.

With his free hand, he took hers in his own and kissed, his eyes staring deeply into hers. Then, her knuckles, each of them. Her fingers. The inside of her palm. Her wrists.

“Thane,” she breathed, her voice hoarse “we shouldn’t.”

“I can’t help it.”

“We ought to stop, or—,”

Their faces were inches apart, and she could smell that fragrance that had been forged with celestial fire into her head and heart “Or?”

If she could just swivel her head, tilt it in the right direction, they’d kiss, and my, did she yearn for it, did she yearn to get lost in his touch.

“My Lucie…” He whispered low, so low she oughtn’t even hear it in normal circumstances.

When she was sure their lips would meet, Minnie cleared her throat “Hate to break the moment, but your uncle is looking for you. I’ll escort Lucie back.”

Lucie, still numb, allowed Minnie to drag her along the secret door she had used to interrupt the lovebirds. She could hear Luca telling Thane he’s been looking for him everywhere and ask him why he seemed so winded up. When she came back to the ladies’ room, she was quick to drink rather unladylike the wine that Minnie gave her and take a few deep breaths. She could still Thane’s lips on her hand, still feel the warmth of his hand on her cheek, his deep, dark eyes, as dark as a starless night gazing into her eyes, still feel his fragrance in her nostrils. She swallowed yet another sip.

“Fetch Ambrose and tell him it’s time to go, it’s nearly midnight.”

“As long as you tell me all about Thane in the morning, when you remember who I am…” She giggled.

As if she could forget such an intimate moment so soon. Especially when she dreamt of it again, waking up with her heart racing and feeling hot.

[six40seven]

September 16-18th

I didnt go to school. I told Niki i was feeling too sick to and she just nodded and said it was fine. Just by her body language i could tell she was distracted by something else and i didnt want to bother her more then necessary. I wanted to say thanks to all the people on here sending kind messages and concerned asks. I am okay. I was just a little rattled these last few days and well, of course today. I havent slept in almost 32 hours. There is no way in hell im closing my eyes and waking up somewhere strange again with no recollection of how i got there.

This doesnt make sense, and i can tell youre telling me in your head “Ran you need to sleep.” And i know you’re right but it was just horrifying. I have a hard enough time remembering what i do when im awake. Why would this suddenly start happening to me. Its unfair. I was doing fine. Now im not, and i dread falling asleep again. Im too afriad to ask Niki to instal a lock of sorts so last night and the night before and really any time I’ve been feeling the urge to sleep.. well I’ve began to tie my foot to my post. ITS NOT TIGHT. I just dont want to wander off again.

Fall break is soon. I mean sorta. I attempted to attend school online the second day home after the ordeal but my connection was too shit. I guess its the trees blocking the signal. Or maybe the mountains. Speaking of trees, i havent left my house since that day. I dont want to risk whatever happened happening again, worse while im awak. Not that i think it will but the way the trees just… tempt me sometimes. I cant risk walking to the bus or walking even out of my house. WHEERE i use to consider it a blessing to not live in the town houses, i now regret never moving closer. Fuck. Its been so long since I’ve been outside im worried my skin will fall off my body and ill die if i spend one more day barred in my room.

Its okay, for the most part. besides the natural (?) urge i have to be outside all the time. Ive sort of forgotten to document much these o past few days. But i dont think anything else significant happened. As far as related to me. Niki didnt come back the first night and i spent all that time in ym room with the blind drawn and the lights on. I was afriad if i turned the lights off i would nod off. I ended up watching YouTube and Netflix on my laptop as well as cleaning my entire room.

Usually my room is a trash heap, i like it that way, its like having my own nest. But that first night. I couldn’t stand all the things and i pretty much Ed cleaned everything top to bottom in less then 3 hours. I found a few interested things while i was doing that, including but not limited to: a box full of my old Polaroids and camera, a stuffed animal i thought i had lost which went back onto my bed, and a total of 20 spare dollars made mostly out of 1 Dollar bills and quarters.

The only thing of real interest was the Polaroid camera. I thought i lost that thing years and years ago. I only know i had one at all because i have some older pictures pinned places and tucked into my phone case. Theyre all of people i dont really know but i like to think i do so i can carry some part of them with me. They must have been important to me at some point yk. So i decided to look through and sort out any of the Polaroids i remeber or anything like that. These are my findings. I’ll explain them after i show them to you.

starting at the left top and going left to right. It reads Nov 1st 20##. all of these are from when i was a kid. maybe when i was in 4th or 5th grade? Im not entirely sure the exact age i was. The photo shown is a picture i must have taken of some sort of important journal entry, i cant really read it but at least if i ever needed to remeber taking a picture.. I remember, thanks past me.

The next one, in order, is a picture of two shadows. Maybe three. Probably me. Maybe Niki… or Eryn. we were close when we were kids and hes in two of these already. So ill just mention him. idk if he will be okay with me talking about him on here. I dont think he knows i have this account. hopefully he doesnt find it. Not that i would care very much. He just doesnt like me. The caption is just a date. oct 3rd. no year. I wonder when it happened? sometime in my childhood probably. I havent used this camera in years and years. I lost it so long ago.

The third is a weirdly saturated picture of a park in my town. The bigger town. Its just weird. And the caption says… evacuating or something. Its sorta weird. also Niki might have taken this picture because her name is on it too. Seems like her type of thing. from what i remeber as a kid, when we still lived in the big town, she was into weird saturated pictures. Something about scene. I dont know really.

The fourth is on the second line of pictures i found in the Box. On the bottom left. It says July 20## again sometime in my childhood. It shows aforementioned Eryn crouching ont he ground showing something to everyone. Or the viewer. I can see myself, or younger me. Younger me off to the side. Someone else took this picture. I dont remeber this happening. But it was important enough to keep so there it is. Thats pretty much it.

The fifth, wow thats a lot of numbers. Its got a smiley face :) on it. and its a picture of the lake. Yk the one bordering the left side of the bigger town. Its one of the smaller more muddy parts so its all gross. Probably from a hike that i wanted to remeber with Niki or something. I loved the lake when i was a kid. It was fun to swim in but after… after awhile i stopped going and then it closed because of something weird and now you can only go hiking near and around it.

The sixth. A picture of me and ****** hugging. Eryn in the background. It reads Eryn & ##### July. Its a cute picture. I dont know… who ****** is? Yeah i dont know. but i must have known them at one point because thats them. Yeah. They look familiar in the worse way and i pretty much threw that one back in the box as soon as I could. I dont like lookign at it. My stomach hurts when i do.

The seventh. And last a picture of a cat. Even when i was a kid i also apparently liked cats. It reads Spring 20##.

So yeah. I just wanted to say im glad i was able to find them and document them somewhere. I also thought while im explaing photos and stuff ill go into a little detail about what i discovered from that night. Posted on here.

The first piece is clearly a path somewhere in the forest. If i were to say, somewhere further in the mountains, near where the older remains of mines are. The only thing wrong about this piece is that…. When i posted it, theres no wya for there to have been snow. So either the photo is altered in some way, which is unlikely, because from what i can tell it was posted in the middle of the night. Or it was actually snowing wherever i was. even though all the previous days it had been raining.

The next picture looks like some sort of underground tunnel, lined with bricks and ending in step leading up to a barred and maybe locked? I dont know, barred iron gate. I have never seen that place before. Ive been in a lot of abandoned buildings that I’ve found near here but I’ve never seen something like this. The only explaination i can give for the location is possibly a sewer enterance somewhere in the basement of one of the older buildings, not from the big town but rather from the smaller town nearer to my house. Again, it looks like its snowing. Which makes no sense in any context, since it was snowing when i woke up (even though i said i thought it was) and because if this was underground where would snow be coming from? The title says… I heard you. Im here. I dont remeber this. Obviously. and i dont know who i would have.. heard? It doesnt make any sense.

The third picture… i dont have much to say. It looks dark. Maybe its related to the second picture, maybe its on the otherside of the gate. But I’ve never seen a place that dark before. Especially if it has walls. which I think it does. so it must be in a building somewhere out in the forest. Sorta supports my abandoned building theory. Or abandoned mine shaft? I have no idea. But the capture is clearly a long hallway. the caption says something is wrong. No duh. I am clearly self aware even if i dont remeber. I wonder if i act different..

Anyway, thats all for the last few days. I probably will end up attending school tomorrow. Niki isnt home yet, its near the end of the day so if she isnt home by now im assuming shes staying overnight at the office. wouldn’t be the first, wont be the last. I might get a snack before trying not to fall asleep a third night in a row. If anyone wants to chat with me, ill be open to the distractions.

[mizuta]

god im tired (longer winded ramble under the cut about disability?)

the thing they dont tell you. about being the son of two disabled parents, two people who hate themselves more than they could hate you, a woman who swears up and down that her becoming disabled enough to need a wheelchair full time is the worst thing thats ever happened to her, thats Ruined her life.

the thing they dont tell you is their constant insistance that you can do better and are just lazy warps your fucking perspective to yourself until its unrecognizeable. they push themselves until theyre now falling apart at the seams with worse and worse damages that couldve maybe been avoided somewhat and refuse to allow you to be 'weak' and 'need help'.

they dont tell you that when youre navigating constant persistant wrist pain at 22, when your cognitive functions have always been bad but not bad enough, that youre never gonna feel like you deserve help or accommodations. that you cant do math or numbers and thats a larger symptom of something, of when words blur together and you read chunks of writing as nonsensical regularly, when you hear one thing but someone said something completely different and you have to just bashfully laugh it off.

when your language function breaks down and youre speaking in fragmented sentences. no proper grammar. the words are hard and dont make sense and youre just desperately screaming in your own wy trying to be heard. you get told that one might be a symptom of your psychosis but fuck nobody ever told you that wasnt normal to begin with other than making fun of you when your guards down.

when you can barely tell time between two days from each other and your disassociative disorder makes you all lose so many gaps in time, and youre not mad at each other for that, but you just kind of wonder because between that and how much time doesnt exist to you all and how much you forget from adhd to the point that entire days are forgotten after youve lived them, when youre so exhausted and your head feels like fog 80% of the time, when your mood tracker never puts you above a 5 on the mental health scale on your best days.

when you know damn fucking well youre not abled enough, but nobody tells you that youll constantly be told youre not disabled enough, either. not abled or disabled. some fucking other thing, something thats useless, something thats just fucking pointless.

its like, i know im mentally ill. severe clinical depression. adhd. probably cptsd that im still coming to terms with. likely ocd. possibly autistic as well its hard to tell. psychosis. but im also in pain pretty regularly, but its 'only' wrist pain, so does it matter? i cant think straight most days of the week and its a genuine struggle full of spoons to keep my speech coherent and just tonight alone i keep hallucinating my bathroom lights on and getting up and discovering when i come to turn them off theyre already off.

ive been sick for a week and a half and i could barely manage to get out of bed and shower twice. or get a sports drink so i didnt just... faint. i need constant access to electrolyte water/sports drinks or my near-constant dizziness and lightheadedness and sometimes physical pain gets way worse, rather than 'manageable and liveable'. i feel like im going fucking insane.

all signs point to me having asthma. my parents literally think im insane at the idea. i have so much breathing trouble and this last week i couldnt breathe for multiple 10 minute chunks because i went to work sick because i need the money.

christ almighty. not abled. not disabled enough. cant quantify my cognitive problems because itll never be 'enough'. god.

im so fucking tired, dude. i just want to sleep for a really, really long time

[theindo]

Long and deep inhale. I am deciding to go on a long rant/ramble/vent/whatever. Its all over the place. I dont know.

IM. I???? ?? I just??? So. Me and my dad had a conversation yes. God, I barely even have the energy to type this out. Anyways. another long conversation about how i should go out and do things. About how i say im gonna do stuff and then dont. Whatever. ""i dont know what to do" is the same thing youve said your whole life". Ok . Yeah . I guess so . And what do i do???? I?? Dont know????? I dont know where change begins. Do i want to change? I'll have to, eventually. I fantasize about having friends, and then i find every single way to get annoyed at any one who wants to talk to me in person. I have like, 0.5 people i enjoy talking to in real life. And like. 2 people i enjoy talking to online. Though i talk to way more. Why am i so selfish? Im not lonely anymore. I should be happy. But instead im just angry. Angry at everyone. Yes, i should go outside and i do want to, but how am i supposed to when being looked at enrages me or fills me with fear or dread. How do i do anything when im so damn scared and so damn tired. I dont wanna go to therapy. I dont think they'll help. I dont know if i want help. I want to be told what to do. I want specific and exact orders from someone i like or something. I dont. Think i want to BE. I dont wanna make decisions or make mistakes or get up or anything. I know thats what life is about. But maybe i dont want a life. I didnt ask to be here. But i cant just kill myself. Thats bad. And people will miss me. But nobody in person.. theyre all in the internet, and that makes me sad. Why cant i form bonds in person the way i do online? Im confused. I hate being looked at and i hate being percieved and i hate being noticed and i HATE being touched and i hate not being able to leave and i just. My internet friends say im full of love, but this is a lie. Im filled with fear and hatred and greed and envy. I hate BEING. when i was small, i would daydream about death. What was it like to die? I asked my mother when i was still allowed to be with her (i miss her), what the least painful way to die would be. I was around 6 or so. Maybe i was born this way. Maybe its all in my head. I dont care. I wanna disappear. I hate responsibilities, but i hate being useless. I cant even say what im thinking in these posts sometimes because i KNOW my thoughts are completely backwards. I SHOULDNT think this way. God, why am i so trapped in my own head? I want to do shit, i promise i do, but its like. Theres never the perfect conditions. Im waiting and im waiting and ive forgotten what im waiting for. "What makes you happy?" "What do you like to do?" You know what I like to do? I like to daydream about my hyperfixations and see things about them. Thats it. Thats the only thing i like to do. Its why i draw and its why i live. Im thinking there should be more, but what more is there? This is all i want to do!! Im fine about fishing and drawing and reading i guess. But like. I get distracted easily. I long for what truly makes me happy, but what truly makes me happy is such a temporary bliss that i know will fade and i know is stupid and i know is a waste of time. Nobody fucking cares about the thousands of scenarios i have stuck in my head about the same character each time. Maybe i need to grow up. Im being lazy, immature. I have all these responsibilities, missed texts and school work, and the mere thought of it exausts me. Nothing is enjoyable!!! I wanna sleep forever.

Saw tjis video. Thought it was relatable. Whayever. My head hurts. As always. I feel myself slipping sometimes. I think to myself "ill be fine tomorrow", but that tomorrow never comes. Its the same thing. Yelling at myself in my head. Stuck. I dont want this. I dont want help either. I dont want help because i never wanted to be fucked over in the first place. Cant we pretend its all normal? Cant we dream for a while longer. Why must i get up. I annoy everyone else to im sure, just as i annoy myself and just as everyone else annoys me. I fear death but i rot in my own living body. Im basically dead. Why did i have to be here. I want to exist in my memories and in my dreams. Why can't my mother hold me again. Its all unfair. I have so many questions, but every answer just brings more. Im tired. The purpose of life is to learn and discover and experience. But im tired of learning. Im tired of this complex game. Theres too much. Too much all the time. It hurts. My throat hurts. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. My feet hurt. My eyes hurt. Fuck man everything hurts me and theres nothing i can do about it. I dont like this. I want to sleep. Whatever.

Its been years. Its been a long 6 years. Its been a long 14 years.

I asked my dad, since he didnt like my halloween costume idea, what HE thinks I WANT to be. He said "normal?". I had to clarify i meant for halloween. Why CANT i be normal. Why must i be weird and different. Not even on a societal level. Other people are different from me because IM different. Other people being different from me makes me not like them. I cant blame others for feeling the same way about me. I miss being friendly to everyone and grateful for every interaction and not being so filled with hate and anger. What do i do. I have to do something. I dont wanna get sent to a ward or something.