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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years ago

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BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is.

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now.

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal.

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home.

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown -

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season...

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own).

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato.

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem.

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey.

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it.

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face?

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go.

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh.

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things.

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness.

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1.

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision.

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified.

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here.

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

#Final Space #BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Nesha Watches Final Space #Nesha Watches #Quinn Ergon #Quinn Ergon commentary #Final Space season 3 #Final Space spoilers #long post

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holidaywishes · 4 years ago

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not all monsters do monstrous things...

Part 4: Her Hesitation

Summary of Series: Delly Cartwright lost her best friend, Peeta, to the games. Now, the one that took him seems to have a soft spot for her.

Summary of Chapter: “Why am I here?” you asked, confused, your breath had become so thick that it had turned to panting. It was the only sound filling the empty space of Cato’s large marble foyer. “Snow brought you here. To stay with me. Only for a few days.” He replied “I don’t understand. Why here?” she repeated. “Because I asked him to.”

Warning: Fluff, some angst

Author’s Note: This one started out as a much shorter chapter but I kind of just kept writing. Again, story idea goes to Ophelia Tate of fanfiction.net fame. Eventually I’ll put like a general disclaimer somewhere but for now, here it will be. Or maybe this is where it will stay, we’ll see! Hope you enjoy :D

masterlist

the other masterlist

Delly’s P.O.V

Gale and Prim hadn’t spoken to you since your outburst in the Apothecary. You didn’t blame them but you couldn’t deny how awful it was making you feel, a feeling your parents soon caught on to.

“Delly...” your father’s voice was gentle and you knew the conversation was not going to be a happy one, “your mother and I have been talking. We’re worried about you, you don’t seem like you’re regular cheery self.”

“Dad...” you groaned, “I’m just ha--”

“Sweetheart, we want what’s best for you. We think that... you might benefit from this facility. in District 9″

“Facility? What kind of facility?” you whined

“They’ll help you feel less... alone. They’ll help you grieve Peeta,” he said, trying to sound comforting but it came across as belittling, “which, quite frankly Delilah, we don’t think you’ve done.”

“You don’t think I’ve grieved my best friend’s death?” you said angrily

“You haven’t talked about him since it happened, Delly. You watched him jump to his death and you didn’t say anything. You cried, like the rest of us, but you haven’t said anything... to any of us. And then Gale tells us you’re defending the boy who killed him?”

“It’s not like that,” you countered, “Gale was asleep. Delirious too! After all that Morphling and those lashes.”

“Prim told us as well”

“Yeah, well...” you tried but came up with nothing, “fine. But it’s still not as easy as me ‘defending’ him. I was talking to him, that’s it.”

“That would be fine, if he weren’t as cruel as he has proven himself to be. Delly, we want our girl back. Our happy little sunflower.” He said softly, placing his hand gently on your cheek, “that is why we’ve made arrangements for you to go to this facility”

“What?!” you shouted, “NO!”

“Tonight” he added

“What if I don’t want to go?” you tried, angry tears filling your eyes

“I have to use the parent card here, Delilah”

“Dad, please,” you begged, “don’t make me go. I’m fine. I just need a couple more days. Please..”

“Delly...” he sighed but before either of you could say anymore to each other, the sound of heavy footsteps were stomping up your steps toward your bedroom. The familiar sound of the Peacekeepers March

“Dad...” you sobbed, tilting your head at him

“I’m sorry, baby girl. It’s only for a few days. I promise. They’re going to help you.” He pleaded, clearly distressed at this turn of events. You tried running but it was useless; they were too strong and too many. You kicked and screamed as they practically threw you into the Humvee that they had parked outside your father’s shoe shop, driving quickly to the train stop. When they gave you over to the person on the train, you looked back to see no one around. Not even the Peacekeepers. It was just you and the darkness in front of a train that was waiting to take you away. You sobbed as they sat you down in a small train car that was surprisingly elegant for a short trip to District 9

“It’s alright, dear,” a high voice spoke to you but you didn’t see a face, “the ride is quicker than you think.” When you finally saw her, you were more confused than ever, what was Effie Trinket doing on this train?

“What’s happening? Why are you here?”

“I’m the District 12 Escort--”

“For the games...”

“Yes, well,” she cleared her throat as she sat across from you, “this is a special trip and I was requested to escort you to your destination.”

“What is my destination?” you quizzed, skeptical now that you were on your way to the facility that your father spoke of

“Why, district 9 of course!” she lied

“No,” you said, contemplatively, “you wouldn’t be here if I were going to District 9. Am I going to the Capitol? What do they want me for?”

“Little lady,” she tried, her voice more soothing now than the shrill tone she’d started with, “I promise, all with be made clear shortly.”

“Why can’t you just answer me?” you begged, “please. I’m so confused and scared. No one has told me anything...” As tears rolled down your cheeks, you crumpled into the soft cushion of the booth that you were in, sitting in silence with Effie has the train shot through Panem. The trained stopped suddenly and you stood up to look out the window, trying to figure out where you were when a blindfold was thrown over your eyes causing you to scream in panic.

“Delly, it’s alright. I’m here. Everything is fine” Effie tried to soothe you

“Get this off of me!” you yelled

“Stop moving!” A voice cried out

“Don’t hurt her! You were told not to hurt her!”

“She’s fussing!”

“It was his only request!” You heard Effie say and you wondered who she was talking about and why he requested you not be hurt. After what felt like ages, you were brought out of a car and led up a long pathway, someone’s house? you thought to yourself, still trying to figure out where you were. The Peacekeepers rang the doorbell

“Let her go!” Effie said and you could hear her swatting the Peacekeepers arms with her paper fan before someone answered the door, “she hasn’t been harmed. Just as you asked.” You were brought inside and set down, rather abruptly, onto a small cushioned surface, probably a bench, and waited for what would happen next.

“Thank you” a new voice replied, sending the Peacekeepers on their way

“You’ll be fine here, darling,” Effie reassured, her voice steady but caring in an almost maternal way, “I’ll be back in a couple of days to pick you up.”

“Thank you, Ms. Trinket.” The voice repeated. It was familiar to you but you couldn’t quite place it because of the damn blindfold, “I’m going to remove your blindfold now. I don’t want you to panic okay?” As he lifted the blindfold from your eyes, you tried to gather your senses but were overwhelmed by the bright lights surrounding you

“You...” you finally said when your eyes adjusted to the lights

“I don’t believe we’ve been officially introduced,” his smile was bright and almost sweet, not like the cocky one he’d had during his interviews, “I’m Cato.”

“Delilah... Delly,” you corrected yourself, “everyone calls me Delly.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Delly,” he said, kneeling down in front of you “I’m sorry for how they brought you here. They didn’t hurt you did they?” You shook your head, unable to form a coherent sentence, “good. I’m glad. I asked them not to but I wasn’t sure if they’d listen. I’ve met your Peacekeepers before.”

“Do my parents know I’m here? And not in District 9?” you finally asked

“No” he confessed. You didn’t know what to say, your confusion was growing more by the instant. Why did your parents send you away? Why didn’t they know you were going to be here, with the victor of the 74th Hunger Games? Why? Why? Why? Why?

“Why am I here?” you asked, confused, your breath had become so thick that it had turned to panting. It was the only sound filling the empty space of Cato’s large marble foyer

“Snow brought you here. To stay with me. Only for a few days.” He replied

“I don’t understand. Why here?” she repeated

“Because I asked him to.”

“I don’t--” you began pacing around the space, trying not to get to close to you, “what do you want with me? I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am but I am not that girl...”

“What girl is that?” he asked and you furrowed your brow, contemplating an answer

“The girl who’s going to fall all over you just because you’re a victor..” He laughed at your remark

“Delly,” he said, “I want to get to know you. I liked talking to you but given the circumstances, we couldn’t get to know each other. Will you please try to get to know me?”

“I suppose..” you said hesitantly, taking his outstretched hand as he led you to the couch but you redirected to the table and he smiled before nodding understandingly.

“So, tell me about yourself” he asked, leaning his forearms on the table

“What do you wanna know?”

“Everything. Anything”

“My dad’s a shoemaker,” you said, raising the end of your sentence as if you weren’t sure if it was interesting enough, “he tried to teach me how to cobble shoes when I was like 8. He thought it would be useful but I was horribly clumsy and kept hitting my fingers with the hammer...”

“I bet the customers love coming to the store to talk to you” he smiled and you blushed, shaking your head to yourself

“We don’t get too many customers these days.” You stated plainly, thinking about how the last time you actually made a new pair of shoes was for Gale’s little brother on his first day of elementary school, “it’s too much of a luxury for most of the district.”

“Oh,” he said, straightening his posture before continuing, “well.. what about your childhood?” He asked, changing the subject, and you wondered how much you should say, considering almost everything revolved around Peeta

“Uhm..” you hesitated, “it was pretty normal. As normal as it can be I guess, I have a younger brother so he was always kinda hanging around. I made friends easily because I always smiled at people. Peeta was the first boy that ever talked to me...” As soon as you said his name, you looked down at your lap and Cato tried to change the subject

“I’m sorry... I shouldn’t ha--”

“No, it’s okay..” you interrupted, “I should talk about him. He was my best friend and his death is the whole reason my parents sent me away right?” you laughed uncomfortably

“You don’t have to”

“It’s okay,” you smiled as you looked up at him, “I met Peeta when I was maybe 6 and he was drawing with chalk outside of the Bakery. He was drawing these beautiful flowers that I had never seen in nature before, when I asked him what they were he said he’d only seen them once -- during a broadcast of the Games. I said they were such a bright blue and his drawing really made me feel like they were really there. He smiled at me, said in a higher voice than you’d remember it, ‘Hi I’m Peeta.’ After that, he became the centre of my world...” Cato frowned as you spoke but you smiled as you recalled your memories with the boy you loved and lost, “I remember one time, when we were 13, 3 years ago now. We hadn’t seen the sun in nearly a year. The sky was always shrouded with Coal dust but for some reason the sun was so bright this day that it cut through everything. Peeta and I spent the entire day in the street, letting the sun soak into our skin. It wasn’t until the end of the day that we realized the sun had practically dyed his hair!” You laughed, for the first time in a long time, “he went from a dusty blonde, almost brown colour to the little blonde baker’s son.”

“You really loved him” Cato said

“I did. I always thought that we’d grow old together. Maybe get married, have a kid. People expected it of us. But I knew,” you added, “that he didn’t feel the same. I knew he always loved Katniss and he would’ve done anything for her.”

“So it was true? Their love story?” he asked, sitting back in his chair

“Not entirely. Not the way they explained it, I mean,” you corrected, “Peeta loved Katniss, his crush on her was all he’d ever known. That much was true. But Katniss... I think she cared about him. He was easy to grow attached to, so I think she could’ve fallen in love with him but I don’t think she was in love with him during the Games. It was all just too sudden. And she had Gale back home...”

“Her cousin?”

“Cousin? No that was just a story, to make the star-crossed lovers thing seem more real. Gale and her were... hunting partners. They were like me and Peeta, they grew up together.” You could see thoughts racing through his mind and you could only imagine that they were guilt-ridden, “I don’t blame you. I know I probably should because if you hadn’t fought with Katniss and thrown her to the mutts, Peeta might still be here, right? That’s what everyone tells me. That’s what everyone would have me believe. But I knew Peeta.”

“What do you mean?” he quizzed and you smirked to yourself before propping an elbow on the table and resting your head in your hand

“If Katniss died, what would Peeta have to come back to? A girl he didn’t love who lived across the street from him? Two brothers who wouldn’t have gained any more respect for him even though he’d won the games? A mother who got angry with him at every little thing and had no faith he’d win in the first place?” you rambled, “I loved Peeta but I knew what his life was like here. He didn’t want to die, nobody does, but he always had Katniss to brighten up his day. To give him something to look forward to. Without her, what was the point?”

“He was always going to jump...” he said quietly

“Or poison himself or surrender... he was never going to leave that arena without her. I knew that. I said goodbye to him long before he faced you on the Cornucopia that day.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down at his lap, “I don’t think I’ll ever not be sorry.” You watched him for a few moments, twiddling his thumbs back and forth, not making eye contact with you; you smiled to yourself.

“What about you?” you said, “what do I need to know?”

“I think you probably already know more than you need to about me” he smirked

“Those interviews are all about showmanship. Who are you really?”

“I’m a Career Tribute. I trained until I was 18 and then I volunteered with my childhood friend..”

“No,” you stopped him, “tell me something real. Something true.”

“My favourite colour is red”

“Like the colour of blood?” you asked, pinching your eyebrows together

“No, no,” he scoffed, stretching his arms back on the table, “more like a poppy. That bright red.. What else do you want to know?”

“How about... your childhood?” you asked

“I’m a Career Tribute. I trained every day until I wa--” he started to repeat, forcing you to laugh and interrupt him again

“Fine fine, okay!” you giggled, catching him smile before you let your eyes wander as you thought about your next question, “can you tell me about her?” You were hesitant to even ask, knowing the pain that you had when you remembered Peeta, but you wanted to know how he felt about her.

“Clove and I grew up together,” he said, knowing that you were talking about the girl he’d lost in the games, “She was two years younger than I me but she was... talented with those knives of hers. She was fast and she was brutal. So, everyone agreed to let her volunteer before the rest of us. Aside from that she was smart and funny; It was always easy to just sit in a room and talk with her until the sun came up.” He spoke with such a grin on his face, you couldn’t help but smile, “our families used to get together at the end of every training year, before the Games, and have these huge Firework displays. It was their way of congratulating themselves on what they’d done. Anyway, one year, Clove stole half of the fireworks and didn’t tell me but we went to a party at a friends house and she busts out these giant fireworks and runs to the yard to light them up.”

“If you loved her... why didn’t you--”

“I wanted to run to her,” he answered, knowing your question, “but I was hurt and too far away. By the time I heard her call for me, I was too late. I called out to her and she didn’t hear me. Plus, if I had run to her, even after she’d been hit, I would’ve been seen as weak. I couldn’t save her. There was no point in showing Panem that I would cry over her, not with the image I’d created for myself. I needed to avenge her.”

“Because you loved her”

“I cared for her. Love was a weakness I couldn’t afford” his tone changed quickly and you got nervous about what his reaction might be to any more questions, especially about Clove.

“I’m tired,” you said, “where should I sleep tonight?” He stood up and led you to a guest room that spanned almost two of your bedrooms and you gasped at the sight of it

“I hope you’ll be okay in here.”

“Are you kidding?” you scoffed, a smile on your face that you couldn’t hide, “I think I’ll be just fine in here.”

“Goodnight, Delly.” He said but before he could walk away, you stopped him. This whole night had been a lot to take in and you weren’t sure how to feel about him asking for you to be brought here; you could tell he had a temper and you weren’t sure what would set him off but still, there was something about him that you were sure you could connect to.

“Goodnight, Cato” you said as you propped yourself on the tips of your toes to kiss his cheek softly, squeezing his hand as you steadied yourself back on the ground, noticing a blush creep across his cheeks as he closed the door.

#Cato/Delly #Cato #Cato Hunger Games #Cato Hadley #Cato Berenger #The Hunger Games #Delly #Delly/Cato #Delly Cartwright #masterlist #the other masterlist #not hockey

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