#or it'll make it super greasy

[ask-pavitr]

hi pav !!

i love ur hair.. im so jealous!! what’s ur hair routine??🤍

coconut oil prayer and genetics

just soak your hair in coconut oil for a couple hours then double shampoo it and never forget to condition

make sure to let it air dry and wrap it in an old t-shirt for extra softness

[beesinspades]

my acid reflux issues had improved sooo much these past 8 months, I only took a rennie (equivalent of tums) every three weeks or so (usually the week before my shot or my "period", funnily enough), but these past couple of weeks I need to take one every couple of days 😭😭😭 why me......

no more space in tags so i'll just write it here: also around the time I did the ct scan (for my nerve-something pain that I'm getting an MRI for at the end of the month....third MRI in less than a year 🙄) the guy made me take ibuprofen three times a day for five days so he also had me take PPI blockers again for 10 days.....and boom two weeks later I have acid reflux again!! WEIRD TIMING!!!!!

also I still drink 99% water. I really feel victimized by this situation.

[daytaker]

The Gang React to You Petting Their Hair

Lucifer

"I am only going to say this once: stop."

You get one warning. One. If you do not cease and desist, he is throwing you out of his study, so help him Diavolo's Dad. No, he does not like it. No, not even a little bit. You really aren't going to stop? You're just a glutton for punishment, aren't you?

....You're very lucky he's too busy to hurl you bodily from this room. He'll just endure it for now.

Mammon

"Hah?! What's the big idea?! This is the revered hair of THE Great Mammon, I'll have you know. So that'll be 100 Grimm a touch, thanks! ....Hey, no, wait, why'd you stop?"

Once he's done turning bright red and clearing his throat, he'll try to capitalize on this whim of yours by offering you a discount on hair touches. A very poorly-planned scheme, because you're not going to pay to do something he'll start begging you to keep up as soon as you stop.

Oh, so Mammon is willing to let you touch his high-value hair for free? You're so honored. What a good boy you are, Mammon. (You can expect a bit more sputtering and some denials that he is anything like a good boy, but bro's into it big time. If he had a tail, it would be wagging.)

Leviathan

*shrieks in confused, touch-starved otaku*

Wait, no, he didn't say to stop! What's with these mixed signals? Petting his hair then stopping just because he shrieks a little bit? Did you want to touch his hair or not? Is it greasy? Oh god, when did he last bathe? ...It was only the other day. You have no reason to be disgusted. You're just a bigoted normie who assumes all otaku are crusty and gross!

Ahhhh?!?!?!?! Again?! Fine! Just don't change your mind again, because that's super confusing! And yeah, obviously he's blushing, you're petting his head and it feels nice and kind of tickles! ....Mm.... You know, once he's settled into it, it's really relaxing, actually...

Fast forward an hour or two and he's probably conked out with his head in your lap, drunk on affection and mostly asleep.

Satan

"What exactly do you think you're doing?"

It feels weird. Why are you doing that? Wait, you're petting him? Like he's....a cat? Hmm. Interesting. He'll allow it. But you should do it properly. None of this mussing his hair around with wild abandon. You have to be gentle and use small movements. Maybe use your knuckles? Gently though. There, that's it.

So this is what it feels like. Admittedly, he probably wouldn't take kindly to this if anybody else was doing it, no matter how well they imitated proper cat-petting technique. But you're a special exception, so in the future, if you feel the need to do this, just let him know. And for the love of all things unholy, don't breathe a word about this to his brothers.

Asmodeus

"Oh, you like my hair? Isn't it soft? I'll show you the conditioner I use."

Asmo loves having his hair played with! Or brushed, or combed, or tugged (just not too hard, please!) His hair is silky smooth thanks to a mixture of his natural good looks and his shampoo/conditioner combination. He'll let you borrow them if you're interested. Your hair will look amazing! And it'll feel even better!

This is cozy. He'll just settle in and let you do this as long as you want. Careful you don't get too handsy; he knows how irresistible he is.

...Well, maybe if you're a little handsy he'll let it slide, but just because it's you.

Beelzebub

"Are you....petting me?"

Kind of weird, but it feels nice, so he isn't complaining. It's a little bit embarrassing, just because it makes him feel a little bit like a puppy, but then again, who doesn't like puppies? He'll be able to continue to go about his day not minding you petting his hair now and again. The only awkward part is how damn tall he is. You might need to keep a step stool handy.

Belphegor

"Nnngh, knock it off...! ... ... ...I changed my mind, do it again."

His initial reaction to being woken up to you stroking his head is annoyance, because dammit, he was sleeping. But once he shakes the cobwebs out of his brain, he'll realize that it actually felt really good and he could absolutely fall asleep under these circumstances.

He'll wait a little while, hoping you'll give it another try of your own accord, but if you don't, he'll eventually cave and grumpily ask you to do it again.

Diavolo

"Hahaha... That's enough, now."

He isn't actually a fan. Maybe it's the fact that he's a prince and has been acting as an autocrat more or less for centuries, but being stroked like an adored pet feels really degrading. Of course, he won't hold it against you, but seriously, stop.

Barbatos

"Are you finished playing around quite yet?"

Another one who isn't into this at all. He's more than happy to spend his free time petting you, if that's what you're interested in, but he is a petter, not a pettee. Read into this what you will.

Solomon

"You're so forward!"

Solomon likes it very much. Too much, possibly. Are you flirting with him? There's something incredibly intimate about touching someone's hair, don't you think? No, please, continue.

Simeon

"Um, what are you doing? ...As long as you're enjoying yourself, I guess!"

Simeon is more bewildered by this than most. Like, are you trying to scratch an itch for him? Is this one of those "viral memes" he's heard so much about? Well, it feels nice, and it isn't as if it's hurting anybody. He'll indulge you for now.

A little to your left, please. Ahhhh, that's the spot...

Luke

"Hehe, that tickles... Hey! Is this a Chihuahua joke?!"

It feels kind of nice, but as soon as he takes a second to think about it, he realizes that you're treating him at best like a little kid, and at worst, like a dog, and he isn't having any of that. He'll scold you for treating a Celestial being so casually, remind you that he's actually a lot older than you, technically, so who's the real baby, and secretly pine for more pets for the rest of his life.

[kelin-is-writing]

slowly creeps around corner

i come with more angst >:)

so we've already established what it would be like if dabi is scared of touching you for various reasons but what if you are scared of touching him?

ofc you don't think the scars are gross or anything - you would never - but you can tell that he's in pain. he tries to hide it as much as possible but you notice anyway.

the way he wears loose-fitting clothes to prevent them from rubbing against the burnt skin and how he sometimes flinches when he accidentally touches smt on a bad day

so you avoid touching him bc you're scared it'll hurt him and dabi completely misinterprets your actions and assumes you think he's disgusting

when he finally confronts you about it (he's lowkey trying to break up with you to spare himself the pain of getting dumped by you) our poor baby might actually cry when you finally tell him why you do it :')

that's it. sry my asks are so sad lately lol 🧍

- 🥛

damn milk... you were seriously coming through with these angst asks like— why would you want to hurt me like this is truly beyond me...

like... you had noticed that recently, because the amount of times he had overexerted himself, by using his quirk, and that has made you worry to the point you sometimes couldn’t sleep well at night, thinking about how much in pain he might be.

so one day when you came across him, you right away walked up to the raven haired boy ready to hug him but remembering how only yesterday you overheard him hiss in pain as he changed into clean clothes, you stopped on your tracks right away and dabi would be so taken aback at seeing that you were about to put your hand on his neck but stopped midway with your hand stretched out, eyes full of panic fixed on him and an awkward smile petrified on your face before backing away with a little “hey...”, he starts to get super paranoid, thinking you’re disgusted at the idea of touching his scarred skin; his heart sunk at the thought of such a scenario, but nevertheless he acted like he hasn’t noticed your hesitation and instead of giving you the usual hug when you come to him, he just gave you a knowing bittersweet smile before brushing past you, leaving you behind, confused by such an action.

since you’ve noticed how that whole week he’s been in huge pain because of his scars seen the increasing amount of missions there has been recently and also the weather being a bitch, definitely taking a tool on him, you kept your distances for his sake but still staying near him.

that wasn’t enough for dabi though, because he didn’t only need you close to him... he needed to feel you close to him and right now to the arsonist you felt more far than you’ve ever been, even more than before you two started dating; your absence made him feel miserable, weak and lost, but he also understood (well... not really...) why you wouldn’t want to touch him. his rough greasy scars must’ve felt gross to touch and look at after all, so he couldn’t really blame you for not wanting to even brush against it, but it still hurt so fucking much because it was you and only in that moment dabi has realized how much important you were to him to the point he couldn’t breath when you weren’t by his side and that was dangerous, he wasn’t supposed to depend on someone so much and you deserved someone better in his opinion.

someone who would help you provide the bare minimum to survive, who wouldn’t put you in danger only because the two of you were together, who you wouldn’t be disgusted to touch, who could make you actually happy. and that someone, unfortunately, wasn’t him, because he’s a villain who has committed mass murder and is wanted across all of japan.

your life with him would be miserable, that’s why he ultimately decided to let you go, for both of your sakes.

so one day after he came back from another mission, and you went to welcome him, dabi waited for the others to be far from the hearing range before asking if he could talk to you about something important. feeling suddenly anxious, seen his face and tone, you muttered a small “sure...” following him into his room where he made you sit on his bed while the villain stood with his back resting against the door, hands in the pockets of his jeans and head hung low to hide the pained expression he had on “i’ve been thinking about this for a while now... i was a little hesitant at the beginning because you’re so damn important to me, but this is going to be for the best...”, were you tripping or was this speech leading to a... break-up?!

when you realized it, you jumped on your feets right away glaring at dabi upset and already on the verge of tears “no.”, he stopped talking looking your way like a lost puppy, sad eyes glancing into yours “don’t do this dabi.”, that was the first time you called his name so harshly and it made him widen his eyes for a brief second before he averted them, pointing the downwards, not able to hold eye contact with you any longer than he already did “why are we even having this talk in first place? i don’t understand...”, you questioned clenching tightly your fists resting long your sides, view becoming blurry as tears were starting to come up, you were so confused, disoriented and scared it was making you feel dizzy “you don’t understand? when you’ve been the one putting distances between us, out of no-fucking-where?”, dabi vented out never looking at you in the eyes, afraid he might waver the moment he locked gaze with you, you were the only one to ever make him hesitate and that was scaring the shit out of him.

you looked at him blinking furiously, confused as seconds went by, trying to understand what he was on about. when ever did you put distances between you and him? you weren’t understanding a thing about what he was saying “wait a moment, when did i ever put distances between us?”, you questioned resting an hand at the side of your head and lifting one up in front of you, to signal the boy to stop talking for a second because your brain just blew up from all that situation, before looking at dabi quizzically. he curled his lips turning away from you, bitter expression on his pretty face as he spoke “there’s no need for you to act clueless, i know you’re disgusted by my scars...”, the boy spat coldly, jaw clenching as soon as he finished what he had to say; damn... saying it out loud hurts even more than just thinking about it.

you were flabbergasted, to say the least, at hearing what he was saying “say what now?! i’m not disgusted by your scars though?!”, he let out a sarcastic snort before glaring you from the edge of his eye “don’t fucking lie to my face y/n.”, dabi growled between gritted teethes, making you whince surprised by the way he spoke to you, clicking his tongue as his eyes looked away from you, already feeling bad and guilty for talking that way to you; he just hates liars with burning passion though and maybe this was for the better, he could use it to push you away from him so you could let go of each others more easily.

pressing your lips together in frustration, you stomp heavily towards him and cup his face to force dabi to turn your way, eyes looking firmly into his cerulean ones “i’m telling you the fucking truth dabi.”, he’s taken aback by the confidence in your voice and the intensity of your gaze “i love you and your scars, so i better not hear you say such nonsense anymore.”, and as per usual, it took dabi only a few words from you to easily make his convictions waver.

the raven haired villain pressed his trembling lips together swallowing thickly, then his hands rested over yours, an anguish feeling in the pit of his stomach as he looked at you with sad eyes “then why have you stopped touching me?”, the weakness and desperation with which dabi asked that question was so new to you, it made your heart sunk more though the way he had seemed so hopeless until now, like he was waiting for you to leave him and never look back “i miss you so fucking much princess...”, he whined with deep hoarse voice closing his fingers around your hand while leaning into your touch and turning his face to press his lips against your palm, kissing it with so much longing and yearning that all together with his words made you short-circuit as your heart skipped a beat before jumping up to your throat.

completely weakened by dabi’s current state you went for it and surrounded his bust with your free hand hugging your man tightly, surprising him “i miss you too pretty boy...”, at those words his heart fluttered even though he felt anything but pretty, still... when you called him that dabi couldn’t help get swayed, his free arm going to surround your waist and hug you even closer, if it was possible “i didn’t touch you because i was afraid of hurting you... you seemed so much in pain these days, i didn’t want to add to it...”, you confessed in a small voice, feeling tears prickling at your eyes as you buried your face against the crook of his neck, feeling right away reassured and happy to finally be back where you belonged, his lips parting from your palm and going to rest on your cheekbone “there’s no need for you to be afraid of hurting me, your touch and presence is everything i need to feel better...”, before kissing it lovingly as his hand went to rest on the crook of your neck, thumb brushing against your cheek tenderly “you just have to stay by my side.”, and his lips slid down to yours pressing against them longer than usual before he angled his head to interlock them with one another, tongue licking slightly your bottom lip sneaking inside your mouth to deepen the kiss.

dabi has been away from you a little too much, it was seriously crazy how much he had missed to feel you this close to him and as of now he can’t believe he had actually pondered about letting you go, when he needs you much more than he has ever thought he would have.

when you two parted your lips curled up in an happy smile, hands cupping his cheeks as you set your loving gaze into his completely lovestruck one “don’t worry, there’s no way i’m leaving you.”, and that’s everything dabi needs to hear before he goes to kiss you once again, mover fervently this time.

and you can bet that’s going to be a veeeery long night for you lovebirds 😚

[ilovemylawyer]

hiii, im back <3333

i was just thinking about how doyoung kind of remains mysterious in his rituals, like i for once never seem to fully understand what tf is going on inside in his mind maybe i just didn't put enough effort in understanding his microexpressions, still ive been thinking about him winding down for the day lately and every trivial aspect of him like getting out of bath and using body oil or something, bonus points if it gets anomalous teehee because unlike some allegations of him being greasy i think he takes his hygiene very seriously!! atleast whenever he could. sooooo could you pleaaseee maybe sometime write about him just indulging himself in his unwind routine and getting ready for his next day, it's just very important for my mental health i think...yeahh and it doesn't matter which part of timeline it's set in, possibly somewhere in ep 6? im not being serious here, i never was.

lots of love byeee 💗💗💗

hihihi welcome back dear <33

doyoung is totally mysterious! i think it is absolutely intended by the show to make us, the viewers, not privy to the interworkings of his mind. this makes it easier for us to sympathize with dongsoo (to a point..) and it makes it easier for us as viewers to write doyoung off as a psycho criminal killer and NOT understand him as an inexperienced lovesick fool. i think this is totally intentional so i don't think you Missed anything by not scrubbing every scene <3

re: hygeine. HMMMM... so i am more of a greasetruther. at least up until the silver jacket gets replaced with suits and such. but all of that, the fashion upgrade for dy and his men, i see as a direct result of ds' desires. pre-suited dy and gang, his hair is noticeably like. greasy. it just is. i think if he cared about hygiene/appearance on his own, he'd keep his hair shorter and maybe own more than one pair of pants.

BUT! in ep6, he does change to become Cleaner. so your timing here would be correct. like i said i think this is only because of dongsoo. he realizes just how important status/respect/appearance* is to dongsoo, and decides to make himself more desirable by slicking his hair back and dressing like an adult. but i unfortunately do not think he would ever make this decision if not for dongsoo's high standards.

if i do this i think i can make it ep6, a little pre-funeral prep sesh. here are my problems: this would be totally doyoung centric, doyoung pov doyoung brained solo doyoung alone in his big borrowed house. this is AWESOME in theory, but i THRIVE with dialogue, back and forths and quips and spoken lies and stuff. i do not feel like i have a strong, detailed voice for bathtime relaxation. but also ep6 is a rocky dyds episode, ds is supposedly leaving for good and never coming back, dy knows his (ds') mom is going to be executed, dy has already said his would-be final goodbyes... this is tough.

and this: "im not being serious here, i never was." i think (and i could be wrong, i don't quite know, this is only my best guess) that you're trying to say something like "haha jk... unless?" but i am not entirely sure. but i take everything (EVERYTHING) very very very seriously even in our extremely fast paced irony-poisoned world. my friends call me "serious" all the time. there is no need to be anything but serious w/ me! otherwise i actually get pretty confused (which may be evident rn) but plzzz never feel any kind of shame or embarrassment for any kind of ask to me! FR!

i take this show and my contributions to it like, deathly seriously. that is the only reason i cannot 100% guarantee u that i can pull this off. i have started a doc and jotted down my initial notes/thoughts, so it is there! but this will not be my main focus rn. the longer i think on things the more ideas i get, so this request might just take me some time to mull over/break down/work out. and maybe it'll turn out like super radical gnarly awesome cool. this is something that we will find out together!

MUCH LOVE ALWAYS! thank u forever for ur ask and i promise i will think some more on this and see if i can't figure it out <33

[blackjack-15]

Hi I just got through reading all of your liveblogging posts about The Bear! It was a delight to read all of your real-time predictions that ended up coming true, you really had this show’s number from the jump lol. Do you have any predictions for next season? Most fans think Carm and Syd are headed for an explosive confrontation, but are any other storylines, scenes, character beats, etc. that you think we might see?

This is super nice of you, anon! thank you so much for following my chaotic ramblings XD and hey it's a lot easier to know what might happen in the show when they've got such competent writers/directors! tho they surprised me a fair number of times (i don't think i'll be over the interplay/intercuts of claire, carmy, and syd at the end of 2X07/start of 2X08 any time soon), which keeps things fun

as far as predictions for next season...i think it's hard to say without having the first five minutes of S3 in front of me (they do such a good job setting up the tone and conflicts of the season in the first little bit of S1 and S2!), but i've got

a couple things i'm pretty sure about:

-more REM songs (only thing i'm 100% positive on)

-more kitchen/cooking time for our mains, especially carmy. last season's renovations + cliche john hughes nonsense kept him mostly out of the kitchen from ep 3 on, and i'm 99% sure he'll be back with a knife in hand come S3

-nat giving birth to a girl (i'd love it but am not solid on predicting she'd be named some derivative of 'mary' (or a name meaning 'victory', such as nicole), given the berzatto family prayer).

i know the temptation for her to have a boy named after michael is strong b/c it's TV, but this series (rightly, in my mind) tends away from Lionizing the Dead simply b/c they're dead, and after spending S2 breaking down mikey (and showing mikey and nat's relationship, which like ever berzatto relationship wasn't super healthy), i'm hopeful and trusting the writers to avoid this. it wouldn't make me hate the show or anything, but it would honestly disappoint me unless done in a way (i honestly can't think of what way) that would make it okay. plus pete kinda screams girldad to me, and seeing carmy and richie with a little niece would be incredibly precious

-sydcarmy dustup of some kind, but i doubt it'll be as explosive as we've seen in the past, mostly b/c syd was stressed but exhilarated by success at friends & family and b/c i think carmy's (lack of) mental health will be brought up in relation to it

-solidifying of a secondary staff at the bear to let our regulars breathe a bit and have the bear feel like a real, functioning kitchen, not a mom and pop greasy spoon -- this started at the end of s2 but it needs to continue

-cicero setting the tone of the first few months of The Bear (and probably his commentary on carmy's relationships) -- we're not out of the realm of Complete and Utter Failure yet, lads, and the money is gonna come due -- whether by the guise of Friendly Uncle Jimmy visiting with Nat, or the mask of Cicero the Loan Shark coming out in full force

-art storyline with carmy figuring out what will replace the awful painting (i'm going to guess it'll be something of his design, but it'll at least be something he feels represents him, given the comments last season)

-major theme of carmy figuring out what he wants vs what others want for him. him analyzing his relationship with claire by himself -- or, my preference, talking it out with Tina, who he seems to be able to open up to pretty well -- is part of this

things that have to happen but i have no idea how/to what resolution:

-carmy and richie addressing the "donna" fight/comment. it's gonna be multi-ep (neither one is great at complimenting the other to their face and tend to do it behind the other's back, but richie is especially bad at it), and it's gonna hurt.

-pete spilling the beans to Someone (not nat but not sure who) about donna being at f&f

-resident claire's poor little hurt feelings from trespassing into the kitchen and eavesdropping on then leaving carmy in the middle of a really, really bad attack (yes i'm phrasing it that way because it's true <3)

-something about tiff's upcoming wedding (marcus getting contracted/recommended to make dessert for it would be painful but oh so crunchy)

-carmy meets syd's dad. he's proud of her and her success and you know he's gonna want to meet her business partner

nebulous predictions:

-ebra's storyline with him carving out a niche at the sandwich window getting screentime

-tina coming more into her own and maybe getting a designated storyline (about what? no idea)

-more gary nonsense. man lives the wildest life and we see almost none of it

-carmy working through what cooking means to him and what it means in relation to the bear/the berzattos/sydney

-nat's water breaks/she goes into labor at the bear. not sure the baby will actually be born there (i'd guess probably not on the whole), but the process will Begin there

-syd distraction/love interest storyline. not even her dating particularly, just her attention being Split and having the shoe be on the other foot for carmy as they navigate what being business partners means outside the kitchen

-fak time. he's a little uncertain, a little wandering in the restaurant, and he was a major...antagonistic force, let's say? in S2. his place in the world of the bear needs clarification and harmony, and his identity needs solidity and sureness

things that aren't impossible/improbable but would be a Little Treat for Me specifically:

-chef jess being invited to the bear by richie (let the man have people outside the bear and his kid/ex! garrett may come too i'll allow it)

-the return of louie my beloved (helping out at the sandwich window? he makes a good foil to Young Carmy, so i would like to see him more -- carmy in Full Mentorship would be a thing to see, and it would be a being-better-than-mikey-was-to-him thing as well. it's narratively crunchy and provides lots of room for growth, but can be done in ways that don't involve louie, so that's why it's here)

-syd's best meal + comment about being a regular at The Beef coming back. do i think they eventually will? yes. am i aware that my desire for them is prolly stronger than it narratively should be be predicted? also yes. could this easily be combined with carmy meeting syd's dad? yes and i will break the sound barrier

-carmy drawing a dish syd comes up with. a hand-drawn menu for the bear would be Incredible, and syd's face looking at a sistine-chapel-style drawing of a dish she came up with? tremendous, chef

thing that i want to be brought up more than Anything but don't predict it'll be touched (at least directly):

-carmy yelling for syd during his attack in the walk-in (i'm sorry you can't have the man yelling "MARCUS GET ME SYD. GET ME SYD" and expect me not to want it on a billboard

that got long, sorry anon, but there we go -- 4am rambling off-the-cuff about S3...only months to go, hopefully....

[blessyourhondahurley]

Suptober day 8 - Memories Are Made of This

As the screen goes all wiggly after How Could I Forget? we cut to a high school flashback. Will our star-crossed lovers beat the odds?

Suptober prompt: Satanic Panic Flufftober prompt: Rainy Day

(Read on AO3)

“Dean. Hey. Dude, are you drooling?”

Charlie's voice cuts through his gauzy daydream like a hot scalpel. He shakes himself alert, blinking rapidly as his eyes and his mind struggle to refocus on his dreary surroundings. Third period biochem. Rainy day. Middle of nowhere, Kansas. Ugh.

His bestie continues to lay into him in a hissed whisper. “You need to wake up! You haven't been paying attention to anything Mr. Singer has written on the board, and he already told us it's all gonna be on the test next week!! Where's your head today?” She narrows her eyes and gives him the look that always makes him feel like she's corkscrewing right into his brain. “You're not still thinking about that Novak kid, are you?”

He tries. He really does. He doesn't flinch, doesn't fidget, doesn't drop his eyes. “Nah,” he drawls, putting what he hopes is the exact right amount of casual disinterest into that single lying syllable.

She doesn't buy his act for a second. “Bull. Shit,” she replies, smacking him on the shoulder. “You are. Dean! I told you, that one is not for you! Between your Led Zep shirts and our weekend D&D games, his parents would call an exorcist if they found out he was even talking to you!”

“Oh come on, Red,” he protests weakly. “The Satanic Panic died out in the 80's.”

Charlie gives him a dark look. “Not in the Novak household, it didn't. I'm serious, Dean. Those blue eyes may be super dreamy, but he is more trouble than he's worth. Trust and believe. Now settle down, focus, and catch up!” She points furiously up at the whiteboard, which Mr. Singer is continuing to fill with blocky, crabbed lettering, and then down at his blank notebook.

Dean sighs and picks up his pen.

~~~~~~~~

Everybody at the school knows about the Novaks, Lawrence High's very own pack of homegrown Cullens. They're an unwieldy gaggle of siblings, almost too many to count. Well-dressed, God-fearing, condescending little pricks, the lot of 'em. They keep themselves to themselves, and everyone else appreciates the favor. Nobody in their right mind would ever try to date one of them.

Except.

Except...

Except Castiel Novak, the baby of the family, with his eyes as blue as the sky and his messy black hair and his voice like a rake being dragged across concrete? He smiles at Dean, laughs at his jokes. They sit side-by-side in fifth period study hall now, and Dean's grades have dropped almost half a point since the new seating charts were drawn up, because he doesn't get a damn bit of studying done in that hour.

He's completely fucking smitten, is the thing. It's disgusting. But Charlie's right: he doesn't have a chance with someone like Castiel. The Novaks are bible study, violin lessons, honor roll. Dean's cheeseburgers, greasy carburetors, ripped jeans. So what if they have a blast hanging out every afternoon when they're supposed to be doing their homework? So what if Dean shakes sometimes with how much he wants to take Cas's hand, kiss his lips, touch his skin? It'll never happen, and that's a fact.

And then one Friday in March, just as they're all gathering up their books and backpacks to head to sixth period, Cas hands him a folded-up piece of notebook paper and runs out of the room. When Dean opens it up, he sees the question that will determine the course of the rest of his life:

DO YOU WANT TO GO TO SPRING FORMAL WITH ME

YES          NO

This fic concludes here...

[slashingdisneypasta]

PLATONIC FAMILIAL!Toon Patrol x Smartass'Daughter!Reader || Oneshot [Part 4]

Title: Her First Friend

Notes:

The next chapter is my favourite!! It'll be in Wheezy's POV ^^

So my headcanon for 'Ritchie Rabbit', Roger and Jessica's kid in this, is that they adopted him ^^ Also, his colour is gonna be yellow but Roger and Jessica wont have colour 😅 Just the Toon Patrol and the kiddies. Sorry!

This chapter was really hard for me, so sorry for the long wait!! Stupid POV is soooo hard.

Plot: A baby girl is left on the Toon Patrol's front door step and now they take her for picnic days at the playground ^^

Warnings: The usual Toon Patrol shenanigans XD ...

Stupid Weasels POV

"Duh, yay! The playground! Hurry now Y/N, we gotta get to the swings before someone else beats us!" I exclaim when we pull into the parking lot, turning and holding out my hands to take her from her favourite spot in the world- Wheezy's lap.

... No seriously. Its definitely her favourite. SHE NEVER LEAVES.

I wake up in the morning, Y/N's having her breakfast in Wheezy's lap. I get up in the middle of the night cuz she's crying, Y/N's in Wheezy's lap and she's not crying anymore. We have a meal together, she's in Wheezy's lap. The sky starts to fall- she will be sitting in Wheezy's lap!!!

And- nooo. No, no. I'm not jealous. That's what Greasy says, but he's wrong!

"Alright, alright, fall out boys. We're here." The boss pulls the truck to a sudden stop, jolting us all, and hops out to swing the back doors open for us. Y/N giggles and clutches my head as I set her up on my shoulders and jump out- rushing for the swings and making her squeal up there. "OY!" The boss yells after us, a liiiiittle bit of terror in his voice. "REMEMBER DUMBO- YOU DROP HER YOU DIE!!"

Yeah, yeah- I know Boss! Duh!

Still, I slow down a bit though- and Psycho immediately zooms past us like the Tasmanian devil, and steals the very last swing. I halt in my tracks, then, and think maybe I could yank him off it??... "Psychooo!"

He gives an evil little laugh, and holds out his arms for Y/N. "You snooze you lose!~ Now c'mon Y/N!!~ Come to Psychoo~ "

... No. I dont wanna give her up. We were gonna go super high and- Oh, Y/N, you want to go to Psycho? Okay then!~ I happily hand her over to Psycho when he pats his lap and she wiggles around in my hold- reaching and grabbing for him. Then I bound around behind them and push them.

I got gentle, at first, as Psycho perks up and looks around like a meerkat for the boss. We spot him, past the slide at a picnic table setting up the food with Greasy - Wheezy's not allowed to help with food. He has to go sit at least 20 feet away, because the Boss thinks he packed 'cancer pie' or something, - and not paying attention to us at all. "... Now!" Psycho exclaims, which is the signal that I can push them harder.

"Okie Dokie!~ " I sing. "Hold on tightly to Y/N, Psycho~ " As he wraps his arms around Y/N and hunkers down over her so his chin rests on her head, I take the swing seat in both my hands and I lift them good and high.

Then I drop them, and when they come back to me I start pushing as hard as I can.

This what we have to do whenever we come to the playground, because if the Boss catches us putting Y/N in danger then he'll shoot us- or put our heads in a toilet- or kick us some place not nice. He would probably hate it if he found out we do this, but Psycho says what Smartass doesn't know wont hurt him~, so I guess its okay!

"- Oh hi, guys!! Can I have a go next??" I hear a familiar voice behind me, and turn my head as Psycho and Y/N slow down on the swing because I'm not pushing anymore- surprised at what I see. A... rabbit? A cute little rabbit, a little older then Y/N, and for some reason he's... kind of... familiar?? He doesn't look like anyone I know, I don't think, but the clothes... There is something about those clothes... little suspenders, and tow tie... hmm... huhh...

Could it be... "Roger?~" Psycho lets out a giggle, spying the rabbit himself behind a tree a next to the playground.

Before Psycho can hop off the swing and go over to Roger, the little rabbit speaks to us again. "My daddy says he knows you guys!" Yes, he does! "Except her," He points to Y/N, and she raises her little paw to waive- a cheerful little smile on her face. "Hi! I'm Ritchie! Who are you?" 'Ritchie' walks over (When- I don't understand- shouldn't he hop??) and gets on his tip toes to peak over Psychos lap, to her. Psycho doesn't seem to notice at all as I 'supervise', his freaky swirly eyes glued to Roger's form trembling behind the tree.

"Duh, her names Lottie." I tell the little, non-hopping rabbit after Y/N makes a strange noise that almost sounds a bit like her name but not quite. She tries again, though.

"Hhh... hi... R-Ri... chi." She grins, proud of herself as she leans over a little to give Ritchie a waive. "H- Hi, Ritchie!" Giving a giggle, she repeats it again- and again- while I look around in a panic for the boss. Where did he go?? He was at the table!- "Hi Ritchie!! Ritchie, hi!"

My eyes are bugging right out of my head and so are Psycho's, tearing his gaze away from Roger to look down at Y/N with a gasp. She spoke!! Where's the Boss!? Boss- BOSS!-

Psycho jumps out of his seat with her, going to dash for the boss if we can find him- when-

We turn around, and he's already there. Standing a few feet away from the swings standing really really still, his own eyes round like dinner plates as well! He looks shocked, the hat on his head causing a shade over his face from the sun and for a few moments neither Psycho or I know what to do at all... did he hear her??... or???

Then, he smiles. The Boss SMILES (Which he's been doing a lot more often since we got Y/N, but is still freaky to look at), and comes over to ruffle his daughters hair, making her laugh. "Good girl, doll."

... her first words were 'Hi Ritchie'. While Smartass and Y/N have their father-daughter moment, Psycho and I look at eachother and groan. Aww, I was hoping it would be 'Stupid', ha! Cuz its my name! Psycho wanted it to be- oh... why's the boss smiling like that? That's kind of creepy... the evil look is in his eyes now too... what-

He whips around and points at Greasy across the playground. "HEY YOU! ASSHOLE! YOU OWE ME FIFTY BUCKS!"

"... SHE SPOKE??" All of a sudden both Greasy, and Wheezy are with us too.

"WITHOUT ME?" Wheezy exclaims, picking her up out of Psycho's arms and holding her up by the armpits in front of him; A disappointed, tired look on his face. "... babygirl, we had a deal."

"And it wasn't SPANISH??" Greasy cuts in, crossing his arms next to Wheezy and looking super betrayed at Y/N... who crosses her arms back, and sticks out her tongue at them both. Psycho giggles at her and we all ignore the little rabbit boy still among us, grinning wide and all excited like he's apart of the family. "Una linda!! After all that work we put in!!- "

"Oy. Stop harassing my kid." The Boss plucks Y/N out of Wheezy's grasp and sets her on her bum, on the ground. Then flashes Greasy another smirk. "And don't be a sore loser- it doesn't suit you, green bean. Cough up the dough."

"Losing doesn't suit me, you cranky old bastardo- but," Greasy sighs, defeated as he reaches into his pocket. "Fine."

"That's right pal," While Smartass continues to rub it in as he counts his new money, Roger finally slips out from behind his tree, sneaks over to us, grabs little Roger by the arm and 'stage sneaks' away. Or tries to. The Boss catches him red-handed. "Ohhh... and look what we got here, boys... a bunny rabbit trynna sneak away undetected... "

Some of us chuckle- even though its not funny. Wheezy told me, though, that when the boss says something kinda spooky like that in that low voice- we gotta chuckle menacingly after. He says it intimidates people.

I don't know about that, but whatever~ Wheezy's smart, so I guess he must be right.

And it sure stops Roger in his tracks!

"Ohhhhhh h-h-heyyy, guys... long time no see... " He ducks his head low, not looking at any of us as he itches the back of his foot with the other one. We surround him, so he cant hop away.

Smartass talks first, he always does most of the talking. He's good at it! ^^ He does some more intimidation, by acting nice- Wheezy told me about this, too. He said it unnerves people. Is it because the Boss is so mean usually? I tried to ask him that, but he just called me nimrod... "Heh heh heh, well Roger... how's it been?"

"How's the wife, eh- Oof." Greasy tries to talk, but Smartass squeezes his snout causing a sound like deflated balloon to come out of Greasy's nose and it makes me laugh. Ha ha- do that again, boss!

"Oh, uh, f- f- fine... Wonderful, actually! Jessica is just best wife in the whole world- she's so nice, and bakes me carrot cake every single week! And now we have Ritchie!" Roger gives the little rabbit a pat on the head, giving a warm smile after closing his eyes so he cant see us anymore- he tenses up pretty quick though when he opens his eyes, again. What a wierdo. "H- H- howww about you guys?? How's y- y- your babysitting sssss- serivice going??"

Chuckling, the boss tilts his head to the side; All confused. "Baby sitting service?... "

"W-well, the kid, of course! Haha." Roger gestures to Y/N. Smartass looks slowly from his kid, to Roger. "If you're not babysitting her then why would you have he- " All of sudden Roger takes all the air at the playground, sucking it all in when he gasps. "Did you kidnap her?? OH- NO- YOU'RE KIDNA- "

Wheezy gets behind Roger and slaps his hand over the rabbits mouth- holding him down as he wiggles and tries to get away~

A few parents from around the playground look up at the scene, curiosity and concern on their faces, but Psycho just gives them a little waive and Greasy gives a wink- all good here! No need to worry. "Keep that screeching down!! What are- " Smartass whisper-yells. "What are you? You trynna get us all arrested!? We are at a kids park you numbscull! Jesus christ. We didnt kidnap her! She's my kid."

"Mhm, mhm- we did a blood test if you wanna see it!" I pipe up, nodding with a smile at Roger.

... For a moment nobody moves. Roger doesn't move, the Boss doesn't movie, and none of the rest of us do either. Its awkward, and I have an itch now, but I stay as still as a statue watching Roger.

Then suddenly he screams again, louder time even though the sound is still muffled by Wheezy's paw that probably smells gross. Smartass sighs, his eyes rolling up towards the big open sky while Greasy facepalms and Psycho giggles.

I itch my butt.

Nobody notices but me, but Y/N gets up onto her fat little legs, takes Ritchie's hand and toddles - yes, toddles. She learned to walk on her second birthday last week!! it was super exciting, - over to the sandpit with him...

[dragynkeep]

Oooh I love your Blake takes, I’ve always felt like she was just really mean to people for no reason and oftentimes just rude. As well as the way she treated Yang after abandoning her (to go home to her Rich parents whilst her friends tried to pick up the pieces) and then when Weiss was like “what’s that supposed to mean?” When Yang said she didn’t want Blake there like??? She was in the fucking right to not want Blake there she ducking lost an arm for her.

And I Hate hate hate when a fandom practically bans disliking a character because they hate themselves because that is never an excuse for shitty actions! Some people in real life act like because they hate themselves for the shitty things they’ve done (hijacker’s horseman complex) it makes them better by being self aware and it’s just so shit seeing a whole fandom just agree to ignore everything she does because she’s so insecure and blushy around Yang who’s super muscly ooohhh

Yang was in the right in V5 for being angry at Blake and it'll always chap my ass that the writing tries to paint her as irrational and inconsiderate to Blake's feelings, even though the stupid cat was the one to run away without even leaving a note.

Blake was actually my favourite in the Beacon Arc, mostly because of her passionate attitude towards justice and equality for her people, even if her methods read more as niavity to me. The whole thing of her becoming a Huntress to help prove that the Faunus aren't what humanity thinks it is was always stupid, did she think there just weren't any Faunus Huntsmen before her?

After V3? Absolutely can't stand her. The self victimising attitude, her inability to understand other people's suffering over her own, the whole blaming her own people for her stupid McMansion burning down, and don't even get me started about her attitude towards Sun. Now she's easily the worst of Team RWBY, and I can't stand her greasy mop on my screen.

[dreaming-marchling]

Candle rollerskate juicebox dice mushroom planet candy tooth icecream tomato bug flower

on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

I think I'd have to go 5. Dead center because I really love the first like 15 times I read something lol. I re-read my writing a LOT in preparation for posting. So that initial edit when it's all really fresh and then later when I'm making it all cohesive to make sure it matches with the way the story flows is great. Then it gets really miserable and tedious. The final read through before I post is like dragging myself through mud.

describe your latest wip with five emojis

🌿🐻🐍🔒🌧️

share some personal lore you never posted about before

I don't talk about books much but I'm a huge reader outside of fics too. Like I own hundreds of books.

what stops you from writing more in your free time?

I have a hard time focusing. Fighting the "I feel emotionally blah, I'm just going to mindlessly scroll" thing is a battle some days.

share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I've not written it (yet) but I have kind of endless daydreams about Magnus using Pandemonium as an informal court for the warlocks (or just Downworlders in general but technically it's meant for the warlocks he leads) to bring him issues/requests. And then on nights when Alec is with him, this powerful Shadowhunter just drapes himself on Magnus, sits in his lap, sitting on the floor at his feet and laying his head on Magnus' leg... just not having to put on his Leader face and letting himself be Magnus' instead. Maybe only on Downworld night? And the Downworlders are unsure of how to take this but Magnus is very "he's surprisingly cuddly *shrug*" about it

name three good things going on in your life right now

I have two wonderful cats who make my home happier, I finally bought a new mattress (it's glorious) and though I'm dealing with some crap at work I do have a job that is not bad and allows me financial stability

post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I think this was the popular opinion and then the tide has since turned but I continue to loathe Nesta from the Court of Thorns and Roses series. The main justification after all those pages was like "you can't hate her, she hates herself" but like no, I can totally continue to hate her.

share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

Steam a cut up head of cauliflower, slowly roast 5 to however many garlic cloves as you want in a few tablespoons of butter (or oil), combine, season, thin with a little water (especially pasta water if going on pasta) and then blend in a food processor for like a decade. Literally walk away and start cleaning up your kitchen. Blend until you worry for the motor. It'll transform into the fluffiest creamiest garlicky "alfredo" sauce that won't break and get all greasy when you reheat later. Great for batch cooking that requires reheating.

name three good things about a character you hate

Jonathan in Shadowhunters: It wasn't his fault really, he loved Clary, his little move while he was activating Clary and Jace's runes was super smooth

give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I need to understand and internalize the difference between lay and lie. I can't forever go off what sounds right in my head and defying spellcheck. I'm sure some reader is like BITCH YES PLEASE lol

add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

“I will.” She promised. He hated dumping so much on her. Lying to the police, having to take care of Brian in the aftermath of something so major without him, calling everyone and having to tell their family and the team what had gone down… This was a lot to ask anyone.

They had no choice. Dom trusted her. He trusted her so fucking much.

do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

Unfortunately I am a weirdo who likes to keep all photographic evidence of my life off the internet but I do have 2 awesome cats. A tortie girl and a black boy who are littermates. They're 3 now. She never shuts up and he squeaks. She demands I wiggle the string constantly, he's literally got an anxiety disorder that in the last year has really let up its grip on him and he's like blossoming. They're great little monsters.

Thank you for asking!

[eggluttony]

I love thinking about Eggman trying to use normal human sized things that aren't special custom made for him because of how he's so uniquely large and has a very fat belly

one simple but hot one to me is the concept of him being in a normal car because with his height alone it's already a big crouch to get in but with a big belly like his in the way it's a lot more difficult, it may even manage to get him a bit breathless when he finally settles into the seat properly after the struggle. also imagine how much the car would lower when he sits his heavy ass down 💜💕

after that effort comes more challenges and embarrassment, such as having to adjust his chair and push it back further, otherwise his big belly squishes against the wheel but even when it's all the way back it's a bit of a squeeze. he can't do anything about how his fat ass spills over the seat a little because it just wasn't made for a big fatty like him and it makes him think about how huge he is

and the belt cuts into his fat belly and tits far too much as he tries to pull it across to click it in but he's unable to reach as he's much too wide, no matter how much he tries to squish his fat back to allow it. and it wouldn't be comfortable anyway, so he has to use an extender but even then it squishes against his pudge nicely as some fat spills over it. the pressure constantly makes him feel huge

the best visual is his big soft wobbly tits and belly shaking and jiggling all the while he's on the road. on rougher roads it might even have him huffing for breaths because of his big heavy belly being shaken a ton like that, especially after big bumps in the road. he has to be constantly aware of how fat he is with every ripple of his fat rolls from the movement, from more subtle wobbles to big shakes 😍

and when he pulls down the mirror, he gets to see how fat his face is with his chubby cheeks and maybe double chin if he's been getting even fatter lately. 💘 everything in a car that isn't custom made makes him super aware of how fat he is at all times and it's cute to imagine him blushing and feeling flustered and grumpy by the reminders but trying to hide the look on his face and focus

when Orbot and Cubot are passengers, they laugh and poke fun at all the signs that he's much too fat for this and that gets him even more worked up and he gets a bit flustered and blushy and pouty hehe. but he has a compartment where he keeps snacks, so he can eat those as he travels to distract himself to feel better- but of course they keep judging even more for how he still only keeps eating.

even after all that, it doesn't stop him from pulling up to a drive thru and making a huge order of fast food every time. he realizes the size of his order and thinks about how Orbot and Cubot are judging and starts to blush and almost feel shy but still orders it all. he notices the worker also looks at his big belly when handing him the food and everyone can tell it's all just for him and it'll all go into his stomach

still, his stomach rumbles and he licks his lips at the sight of the food. when he finds somewhere to park to eat, he demands Orbot and Cubot get out the car to mess around for a while so he can eat in peace and he'll give into his cravings and greediness once again and gorge on it to his heart's content. he'll realize he got carried away and ordered way too much but won't admit that and will force it all in.

he gets so full and bloated, his fat overstuffed belly pushes against the wheel even when it's moved all the way, the extended seat belt won't fit over his belly, and there's no way he could drive comfortably anyway with such a full belly. he just lays back and groans deeply as he rubs his fat gut that looks so huge and round and stuffed while he slowly forces in the last of his huge greasy fattening feast.

Orbot and Cubot come back to see him cradling and rubbing his massive belly and he's unable to hide how stuffed and achy it is as he groans loudly, not that he could hide it even if he kept quite when his huge firm packed full belly speaks for him with how expanded and round it is and the loud gurgles it makes. he's definitely going to have to slip into a food coma for a while before the get back on the road!

[shimmerjjang]

Favorite Haircare Products 2024

Hello, 2024! I was supposed to post this in December last year because I often get told that my hair looked really nice so only then that I realized that the hair products I've been using, plus new ways of taking care of my hair are really effective.

But as usual, life got so busy so I had to postpone publishing!

Anyhooo, these products have been a constant part of my haircare routine since July 2023 and I still use them til now. This is how my hair looks like as of January 2024.

Of course, I still have bad hair days, especially on days I forgot to apply Argan oil! But on lazy days where I don't feel like styling my hair, I make sure to apply a hair mist.

Lifestrong Hairfix Advanced Hair Mist

This one is a total favorite! I saw this on Nikki's IG stories (AskMeWhats) mentioning how it was on sale at Watsons that time. I got it for just 160-ish pesos at that time so I decided to get both variants and that's one of the best 160 pesos I've ever spent that!

I spray these anytime, anywhere, and apart from they smell so good, they don't leave any sticky feeling. My hair looks so shiny after and did I mention that this has UV protection, too?

I also find this useful before heat styling because it makes my hair more manageable.

Lucido-L Argan Oil

Okay, this is truly THE BEST hair product I have ever come across. I have been using Argan oil on and off for many years, maybe more than a decade now. But I would usually stop at one point because it makes my hair and scalp so greasy and it smells like wet grass for real. Not that it's a bad scent, but it's not something I'd like other people to smell on me.

This Lucido-L Argan oil was an impulse purchase when I was shopping in Hong Kong. I got it from Mannings for just 70HKD (500pesos). I tested it there and I liked the non-sticky consistency and the "expensive" scent so I bought it without expecting too much. But OMG this helped me so much with my damaged hair. I barely get tangles and washing my hair every other day became bearable because it's not icky at all. (Yes, as a tropical girl I used to wash my hair every single day, even 2x or 3x a day!)

Vitress Cuticle Coat Instant Relax

Vitress is such a classic haircare brand and I've been using products from this brand for a long time. My current favorite is their cuticle coat which I apply only at the ends of my hair after heat styling. It basically just adds shine and it makes my hair straighter. That's what I noticed about this, it's not really the best when I'm curling my hair because it weighs my curls down but when straightening my hair, this works wonders!

BENCH Fix Professional Dry Shampoo

Like I mentioned earlier, I used to wash my hair everyday, and during the scorching summer, maybe even 2 or 3 times daily. But these days, I try my best to preserve my hair's natural cuticle buy not stripping it off its moisture every wash. To counteract the grease, I just use a dry shampoo. This one from BENCH is super cheap and works well in getting rid of oil. I like how it adds volume, too!

My hair would look like this without heat styling! I'd just wash, apply hair mist and let it air dry and it'll still look like this. Applying Argan oil the night before helps so much as well :)

[pbandjesse]

Today was another mostly resting day. I have a little cough and I keep feeling winded. But today was a nice day.

I woke up absolutely exhausted though. It was not fun. I was so tired. When my alarm went off I just felt so miserable. I texted Jess and James and just laid there for a long time.

When I did finally get up I decided that getting dressed would help me feel better. And I was mostly right. I washed my face and wore the new fleece my mom for me for Christmas. It helped. I wasn't doing amazing but I was alright.

Once I was dressed I decided I would go out. I got a drink and collected the bags of donations I have and headed out. I decided not to wear a jacket. Not for any specific reason. It was cold enough. But I did not want to carry it and because of climate change it was 45 degrees on December 30th. So it was fine. Even if it was windy.

I was a little stressed when I had less then a quarter tank of gas. And this is going to seem very silly but I do not pump my own gas. I have maybe done it a dozen times ever. And honestly probably less. I don't like it. I don't like the smell. I don't like the idea that it could spill. I have forgotten my zip code when paying and had my card declined. I cannot stand it. James pumps the gas. But it got forgotten about when they were running errands and so I was stressed I would have to do it.

So I wouldn't have to do it, I decided to not go to many places. I would go to savers and target and then I would go home.

I was feeling stressed though. I also didn't want to look at clothes really. And I didn't want many things. So while I enjoyed looking I wasn't there for long. I enjoyed my podcast and I enjoyed walking around. And I did find a couple neat things. This beautiful doll bench. A new bento box, in the same brand as the one I use all the time so it'll be nice to have a second. A basket for the windowsill for all the things I like having near me in bed. A ridiculous pair of orange pants for camp. I had fun.

After I paid I headed to target. I was hoping they were going to have the new girl scout cookie deodorant but they did not. I'll try again next week. But I was happy to get some 70% off chocolate from Christmas. And I tried a new dry shampoo that I'll keep at work. My hair felt kind of greasy in the back and I am annoyed about that. I for sure want to budget to get a perm again, because it didn't really get greasy when it was curly. I will have to make an effort to find someone to do that. Maybe near work.

I went home after that and was still very stressed about gas but thankfully it was fine. James would fill the tank later.

I was pretty hungry during the drive home. I had gotten a little box of cake bites to have with lunch. So I ate two of those on the drive.

When I got back here I was excited to see someone putting out free stuff at their garage. I got a brass bowl and she gave me a huge bag of yarn and crochet hooks. Amazing. She was very nice.

I got inside and made fake chicken and a salad for lunch. I decorated a metal cup I got with stickers. I hung out in the studio for a bit but then I just felt. Cold and tired.

I changed into my sweatsuit again. And would move from bedroom to living room and back. Watching videos and resting. I felt super winded. And I really just wanted James to come home.

The would come home a little late though. They went for a little extra bike ride. But they would come back at 5 and give me hugs before they headed out again.

They got gas and went to their parents house to drop something off. And then got us burger king for dinner. We are together on the couch and talked about new years and plans and just enjoyed being together.

And now I am just super tired. James just finished rerecording a few lines for their podcast and Sweetp is being so cute acting like Velcro. And I am ready to sleep.

I love you all. Goodnight

[ask-hannah-blog]

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Honkers!!!

Pretzel again!🥨🤡 Just been living my life thinking of you and how fucking sexy you're getting love! ❤️ 😍 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

Been following your advice and giving my plushies plenty of attention these past couple days and I gotta say the new greasy burger joint smell my flat took on these past couple days has been great! Having your body produce its own food is super convenient too I practically don't have to shop for food anymore! Well, unless if I wanna spread my mayo on some other salty snack heheheheheheh! Hyuck that reminds me my feet haven't been the only thing that have grown! My new diet is super good and yummy but I've been packing on some extra weight because of it! A big pot belly! Look good on me to be honest, feels like I was always meant to be a greasy gassy lard hog, y'know?

I finally found a use for my dumb buckteeth! 🤪 they're bottle openers durrr! I shoulda guessed!

Anyways I figured for Christmas I'd treat myself a bit and got a nice mani/pedi (my hands with my colors, and my toes with yours!), and you'll never guess who I ran into! A real Christmas miracle! My old friend toe cleavage! Now as tempted as I was to jump her right there and thank her for all the progress she's helped me make as a clown I did my best to keep my sausage at bay and chat it up with her. Proper girl talk you know? Even if I think she was a bit freaked out by the fact that my feet could cover her entire face hyuck! 😳

Well anyway, as luck would have it, she's actually looking for a new therapist. So I figured I'd give her your information! If you get a call from her and she schedules an appointment, you know what to do, "Honey toes"! Up to you if you wanna send her back after she's done cooking. I wouldn't want my Queen to think I'm selfish!

That's all from me for now, but don't worry I didn't forget about that trade offer of yours! I'm thinking of buying a proper camera and put the video of me going down on my feet up online so all the pervs out there can really enjoy my brand of foot worship heheehhe hyuck! It'll be my gift to our amazing community!

Pretzel out, keep up the good work Hannah ✌️😘

Merry Christmas!

Lol Pretzel you nasty girl, living off a diet of mayonnaise and soda pop. When your makeup comes in you’re going to have a bunch of red dots on your face to act as clown acne, you greasy freak!

Good girl playing with your plushies like I told you! Mmmm your greasy babies have got to be taking after their mama by now. Isn’t that right? Their fur is getting ratty and knotted, crusty with your stinky cum. I bet your cum has been bleaching them, their fur turning white over time, while their noses inflate into big red balls for you to honk. Their faces have changed too I bet. They’ve all got big stupid Buck teeth now, just like their mama. But that’s not what I’m talking about, is it? No, but you know what I mean. Their faces look more…. Perverted now don’t they? Some are making Ahegao faces, others are just leering, watching you fuck and molest their furry friends with obvious glee. They’ve gotten bigger, haven’t they? You’re not the only one living on a diet of your cum. With how much they’ve absorbed they’ve been getting fat, getting little teddy beer bellies, big bunny titties, phat fox phannies! They just look so weird and freakish now, not like cute little stuffies at all huh? That’s because they’re sex toys, you in all your cartoonish perversion turned them into sex toys. Each of them is strapped with a colorful rubber clowny cock, or a slick greasy pussy. Lately your idea of playing with your stuffies has been riding a thick plastic bunny cock with your ass pussy, farting on him with every drop, while you plunge a slutty little piggy doll down on your weiner. It’s perfect for you! A gassy hog like Pretzel would have a big gross collection of perverted sex plushies wouldn’t she? Maybe the cute trans girl she used to be, whatever her name was would have cute sweet little stuffies, but not our Pretzel!

I bet your pot is sooooo cute! Why are you so perfect? I didn’t even think that you’d be blowing up too, how cute! Deep belly button? Fun to tongue? What’s it taste like? Can I bury my nose in it and just get lost in the smell?

And silly Pretzel your Buck teeth always had a purpose! They made sure that no one took you seriously, or thought of you as a real person! But the can opener trick is cute too!

Mani pedi you go girl! Treat yourself! I love that you have both our colors it’s like we’re married! 🥹 plus anyone who sees my colors in your yummy clown fleet will know instantly who you belong to! 👸 I think all my loyal clowny subjects should do the same and give praise to Pretzel for allowing them to show their devotion to me!

I don’t know how you were able to sit through an entire pedicure without without just losing your mind! I’m just imagining these poor Asian ladies trying to paint your big clowny toe tails while you’re sitting there in the chair chuckling your head off while your big girl cock is flinging strings of mayoie cum everywhere.

Even if you were able to keep yourself in control I don’t know how they managed to stop themselves from putting those delicious salty pretzel bites you call toes into their mouth. Mmm just being so close to that warm bready smell must have been soooooooooo tempting for them! Hoooooonk!

BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS!

Because!

AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

HOT TOE CLEAVAGE!

As in:

As in

I got you girl don’t even sweat it!

I don’t even know why she needs a therapist, but I know becoming a fart sniffing clown is the treatment! Hyuck! Trust me guys! I got the degree!

Studies show becoming Pretzel’s devoted clown slave significantly increase a person’s happiness!

Gosh, I just don’t know how I’m going to stop myself from fucking her the moment she comes into my office! I mean you’ve just been teasing me and bragging about those hot pictures you have of her I feel like when i finally see them I’ll go nuts! I mean her toes, they pretty much single handily perverted you! I won’t stand a chance! 😱 Hehehehe!

What kind of girlie should we make for Pretzel guys?!?! Definitely going to give her a big pink beehive hairdo and her hair will become cotton candy! Then she could man your pervy little snack stand with you!

Do you want her fat, or do you want to do that yourself? ;)

Should she keep her pussy, or grow a peepee? If so how big?!??

Should she be slobby like you, or do you want a cute little sugary bimbo who puts up with all your nastiness because you’re soooooooooo cute?!???

Hehe okay, I’m masturbating way too hard to all of this! Just so excited to give Pretzel the girl of her dreams! Hehehe!

[brain-bumbler]

Shaking you upside down in the hopes of funky silly Gisu headcanons slipping out of your pockets /lh

Oh no I- they all fall out- No those aren't- there are hundreds scattered across the floor- Please they aren't funky or silly at all I don't- the headcanons are reaching knee-height

Gisu's such a funny character, I love all the interns even though we don't see as much of them as we did the campers. I like how in the beginning we see her call her lev board her poor baby and ask if its hurt. That board is a labor of love, kickflipping is stimming, comfort item.

I think all the Interns are kind of nerds. They're the coolest nerds at the nerd table, but still, they're in the advanced program, they're nerds.

I love to headcanon her as very, very ambitious. She's working with Otto, and I think a lot of the fandom headcanons her as an inventor of sorts, too. She wants to be Great, and as she gets older it'll only get stronger. Given that she sends Raz to do her homework and spends most of the game messing about in the treehouse right now she seems to be down to just Vibe, at least when it comes to repetitive busy work like fighting Psychoseismometers.

She apparently likes them greasy and grumpy but we won't judge her too much for that. If she ever heard Dion playing the Oboe she'd probably find it cool too, the oboe is a weird and obscure instrument.

Dion is a very cute boy and a very good guinea pig for some of her experiments, babe put this glowing metal dome on your head and don't ask questions, I'll give you a kiss if you can see new colors when we're done.

I see her has incredibly smart and also incredibly Down To Clown, I think she'd be fine to make out with Dion to distract him from his siblings pulling a prank.

He lets her try out all sorts of work-in-progress inventions, and she also starts to make some herself. These are the start of much Shenanigans among the jr agents.

Other Random Headcanons:

She likes Pokemon

It has been 0 days since she last sassed Agent Mentalis.

She gets super involved with her work and then wakes up with finished blueprints and a fever 5 days later and needs to be dragged to bed. She calls Dion her "hot nurse" when he brings her a bucket to throw up in.

She is good at math, but only when she's moving, she can't do it sitting down.

She thinks best with the back-and-forth, up-and-down motion of her skateboard, if it's not there she ends up pacing and rocking her head to get sort of the same feeling.

Dion once totally called in to KLOB not knowing who runs it to get advice on dating this cute psychic girl he just met. She was in the treehouse at the time, and she and Morris had fun with that.

[jakexneytiri]

i'm so dumb, i wanted to add some little comments so I'll just do it now :((

I did NOT know that panoxyl had a moisturizer with spf!!! like WHAT

I'll probably use that to replace my other moisturizers during the day time because that is just so convenient

I think i've seen the the elf power grip primer in the pharmacy(unless I have that confused with another WHOOPS) but I may give it a try. What do you think about using that alone on top of moisturizer without any other makeup. I'm not that experienced at makeup(I barely use any) so idk if it'll look weird or not?

I want something to make my face look nice without having to go too deep into a whole regime

I've actually been thinking about getting the neutrogena healthy skin liquid makeup. it has spf 20 so that would be good as well but I'm not sure if it'll leave my face looking greasy after a while. trial and error right? and it's not too pricey so nothing to lose I guess

as for the snail mucin, I once got a face mask that had snail mucin as a free sample from a shop and let me tell you- it was the best thing ever! I woke up with my skin feeling so soft and smooth and it had such a nice glow, I didn't even want to wash my face in the morning lol. It felt perfect, like glowy but without the over oily-ness and thickness and it was just amazing. Unfortunately that was like 2 years ago and I forgot the brand :(( I just know that it was a SUPER pricey one which is why I didn't bother to get any more lol

alrighty, enough of my rambling towards you🫵💗

hehe yes they dooo! they actually just reformulated it v recently so i need to give that a try. the elf power grip is so nice!!! it makes my skin look like glass 🤩

neutrogena healthy skin is great!! i’ve used that in the past and loved it :) you should give it a try!

snail mucin sounds so repulsive 🤢 but it’s so soothing on the skin 😮‍💨

i love seeing you in my inbox, i love your rambles cause i’ll just ramble back <3