#or it might be literal

[phantomrose96]

Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

[atissi]

locked the fuck back in

[doctorsiren]

The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier

(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)

(wips under cut)

[stil-lindigo]

bite of winter.

a comic about a princess who died in the snow.

--

creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

[swordsonnet]

i'm sorry but i don't think we should call this the "autism website" when there's still posts with tons of notes mocking people who:

struggle with social skills / have anxiety around social settings

are unemployed / unable to work certain jobs

have intense or "age-inappropriate" interests

haven't had certain life experiences that are deemed universal/essential

struggle with personal hygiene

don't have any friends or dating experience

don't go outside much or at all

take things literally / don't get sarcasm/jokes

have unusual ways of speaking

generally aren't "normal"

[vinestaff]

sighs. another guy in my brain i guess

[hinata-boke]

context:

i love having mismatched merch for characters, like here's kuroo tetsurou (18) high school volleyball player and his good friend bokuto koutarou (18) high school volleyball player

[seaside-tropical-sun]

AU where they both died and now have to cooperate to get their bodies back but lqg is too busy having a crisis to be useful

[egophiliac]

bring your son to work day

[snake-with-scallions]

PSA (because I know we’re all so excited for Nico but this needs to be said): YOU CANNOT PUT NICO’S IDENTITY ONTO THE SMOL BOY WHOS GOING TO PLAY HIM.

IF THE ACTOR TURNS OUT NOT TO BE GAY AS THE YEARS GO BY WE ARE GOING TO LOVE AND RESPECT HIM REGARDLESS!!

IF ANYONE IN THIS FANDOM KIT CONNORS A FRIGGIN TEN YEAR OLD I WILL FIND YOU AND RIP OUT YOUR SPINE!!!!

EVERYONE’S EXCITED FOR OUR GAY DISNEY PRINCE BUT PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE ACTOR ISN’T NICO, AND WILL HAVE HIS OWN IDENTITY THAT HE NEEDS TO FIND OUT FOR HIMSELF AND NOT SHOVED ON HIM BY A BUNCH OF RANDOM FANS THAT DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM!!!

Please I know everyone is excited but I am so scared for this kid

[neytui]

Been reading a fic where Hiccup is the prince of a kingdom and I wanted to give it a try to portrait him like one

Lol so I didn't know you can't reblog with a video so I'll just edit it, here u have a quick speedpaint of it

[thriftdyke]

it really does bother me how no one can seem to answer the question “what even is romantic attraction, really.” like some people are like “it’s who you wanna kiss and cuddle <3” and I’m like ok well kisses and cuddles can be either sexual or platonic depending on context. “It’s who you feel passion/desire/arousal for” well that just sounds like sexual attraction which you can have without even knowing somebody so I fail to see how that’s romantic. “It’s who you want to go on dates with” I go on dates with friends all the time plus “date” is a social construct anyway there’s really no innate difference between a date and hanging out. “it’s who you have deep feelings for” great news for you that can be literally any type of relationship. my friend told me she defined it as “who you wanna give roses to” and I’m like do u hear urself??? like the more I talk to people the more I’m convinced romance and romantic attraction is an elaborate socially fabricated illusion that has no real defining characteristics. and like there’s nothing Wrong with it being a constuct but why people are so attached to defending the supremacy of it is something I cannot for the life of me figure out

[cosmosnout]

And in the end, Rouge was like, “You know what? Sure.”

[triona-tribblescore]

Its like miraculous ladybug with how bad his vision is- (Died over the layout good luck trying to read it in order im sorry- TwT <3)

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike learns more about Michael’s childhood..

[recny]

sam reid you ARE a girl dad 🫵