#or if it's a side effect of being on the autism website bc sometimes you have to express good emotions through autistic aggression

[t00thpasteface]

Mean this is the nicest way possible, everytime I see your art of my feed I just wanna, take a bite of it, it looks absolutely amazing.

bites you affectionately in return 💥💥💥

[goosegoblin]

[1/2] Heeey Jess. You sometimes write about having ADHD (and autism if I'm correct) and I just, idk, need to tell smb else bc I'm having emotions. I'm a psych student so actually going to psychologist was difficult. But I struggle so much. I've come to really good guy, specialising in what I suspect is wrong and so far he is v understanding, I like his approach. We started assessment for ADHD.

[2/2] I’m going to have further test tomorrow, done by other psych bc mine simply doesn’t have it but nvm. So basically, I’m conflicted about the whole thing bc on one hand, maybe it’s nothing and I’m freaking out?? But then on the other, hey, this IS a problem, been my whole life, it impacts my daily life. If I’m not prying (you don’t have to answer if it’s too much, I understand), idk, how did you life change after a diagnosis? Better, different? Any tips? In general? Ta for listening!

Hey my friend! I know this feeling very well. Honestly, I went through the five stages of grief with my diagnosis, as weird as that sounds. Definitely took me a few months to hit acceptance.

First I felt denial- why am I doing this? I probably don’t have ADHD at all. I’m just lazy/ stupid/ not trying hard enough and I want to be special. I’m wasting everyone’s time. I’ve misled everyone.

Then: anger. What the fuck??? Why do I have ADHD? This is bullshit! Why can’t I be a normal person? What do you mean this is a lifelong thing? HOW DID THEY MISS THIS FOR 21 YEARS HOLY SHIT MY LIFE WOULD BE SO DIFFERENT IF THEY’D DIAGNOSED ME AT 8!!!

Then: depression. This sucks. This is my life. I can never be normal. I’m always going to struggle. I’m always going to be Odd. This is so unfair.

I had a bit of bargaining- a bit of ‘would I rather have depression or ADHD? would I rather have ADHD or anorexia? would I-’

Then: acceptance. I have ADHD. That is part of who I am, though it is not all I am. I know that my problems are real, and not just a character flaw. I don’t hate myself as much when things go wrong. This isn’t just me messing up, and I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Positives:

‘ADHD’ is a useful shorthand to communicate a lot of things I struggle with. It’s nice to be in communities of people with ADHD and find things to bond over. The sense of community and belonging has been really lovely (although online groups are hilarious- it’s just everyone writing 2000 word posts and nobody else reading them).

Stimulants have helped me a lot. My executive functioning is near zero without them. The side-effects aren’t super great, but I’ll take ‘em over sleeping until 4PM because I don’t have the motivation to get out of bed, or failing my driving test three times because my inattentive ass was genuinely dangerous on the roads. 

I was able to get some special arrangements at uni, which helped a lot. At my uni you can’t leave an exam in the first or last thirty minutes, which my ADHD hates. I never ever stayed that last thirty minutes, even when I needed it, because being trapped in a room with nothing to do for half an hour sounds like hell. After my diagnosis I got extra time and took the exam in a smaller room with fewer distractions. As I got an extra 45 minutes, that meant that last thirty minutes of doom and dread was 45 minutes later, and I could have as much time as I needed without facing entrapment. 

You learn workarounds. Imagine that you were lactose intolerant and never knew. People might be like ‘oh man, stomach troubles? Eat probiotic yoghurt!’, and if you did that it would make things worse. Getting a diagnosis helps you know what helps and what doesn’t. For example, for ADHD, group revision sessions are a horrible terrible idea- in which case, work alone. You might find silence is actually distracting- in which case, you need a white noise app or similar. You might find that fidgeting or doodling actually makes you take in more of what’s being said, not less. You learn that the general one-size-fits-all advice might not fit you, but there’s a lot of advice that’s tailored for your condition. Yay!

Downsides:

More awareness of stigma. People tend to think ADHD is what doctors call hyperactive white boys- they have no idea it affects adults, and that it manifests in so many different ways. People joking about buying my meds. The annoyance of having to get and take a controlled substance. 

TIPS:

Find a community for people with ADHD, either online or IRL, and join it. I can’t stress this enough.

Check out Unfuck Your Habitat for a good guide on how to handle cleaning when both you and your house are an unorganised mess.

Download a website blocker/ productivity app. I like Habitica for positive encouragement, and I have a website blocker that lets me go ‘nuclear’ and block certain sites for 1 hour with no way to undo it. Sometimes I block the whole internet at night so I’ll actually go the fuck to bed.

I have a waterproof bluetooth speaker that I love. Showering, cleaning and cooking are so much easier with music.

Give yourself time. You’re gonna feel a lot of things about this diagnosis. It’ll mellow out eventually.

Get used to educating people. Find some ways to explain why what you’re talking about isn’t what they think you’re talking about. They hear ‘I can’t concentrate unless something is interesting’ and compare it to their own experience of ‘sure, it’s hard when it’s boring, but you have to try’. I explain it instead as ‘you know the end of a long day of lectures when your brain is fried and you can’t handle any more information at all? I get like that after five minutes’. 

Do not listen to the opinions of people other than your doctor on your meds. ‘it’s legal meth!!11!’ eat my ass sandra

Message me any time, on or off anon. Best of luck with the rest of your life