#or his mailman
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happy father’s day day to andre keuck exclusively
#zero day 2003#zero day#cal and andre#andre kriegman#andre keuck#cal gabriel#I fuck with him so hard yall don’t even understand#the parasocial relationship is parasocialing#I need to be him#or his wife#or his mailman#or his dog#maybe all#trick question
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I animated my little Fern again. He's still doing is best at his new job
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the amount of cigarette butts you can find at the courier’s grave in goodsprings cemetery is so fucking funny do you think they all belonged to benny. do you think he was standing there like this while the khans dug it
#fallout new vegas#fnv#cassie rambles#benny gecko#pov: you are a great khan being forced to dig a massive hole for a mailman you couldn’t give two shits about#meanwhile the guy who hired you is standing there chainsmoking like his life depends on it#and then he ends up stiffing you for the money you’re owed anyway#no wonder they were mad
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respost separated from the og post bc I really liked this silly little thing I made
And a little extra of my own
little binghe has a goal in this life and it only gets worse once he mets sqq, no one dares to threaten his position as sqq's future wife, he literally was born to be his spouse!!
#scum villain's self saving system#svsss#sillies#bingqiu#人渣反派自救系统#svsss fanart#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#tianlang jun#I like to think little bunhe asked his father to let him write letters to his misterious future husband#to get to know him more before their wedding#and tlj hopeless romantic that he is of course says yes#zzl! go for a reliable mailman of the court!#so one day sqq still is on the way to become peak lord and start recieving letters apparently from tlj's child???#so weird but eeh its okay its a way to check on how the protagonist is doing!#so he displays his full autistic caring mother rizz on those letters#and binghe swoons everytime he reads his poetry#and his tales about monsters and artifacts and some weird stories sqq makes up for him#(he is telling him about anime)#idiots in love#binghe thinks they are courting from distance#sy thinks he has a very adorable pen pal#sxy is in the corner probably keeping an eye on everthing to be sure her son is safe#tlj is living this arranged marriage like a telenovela
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Cringetober day 23: adult cartoon!!!
Liiiiterally just an excuse to finish these charms id been sitting on for so long BAHAHAHAHAHA :))
#i love all his outfits#and a little dmv for the real ones out there#whats crazy is if you google mailman vox my fanart is the top result#thats bananas to me idk#i fell for the fucking tv#my art#hazbin art#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin vox#vox#radiostatic#cringetober#cringetober 2024
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Modern Day Steddie where Steve becomes somewhat of a shut in after the kids go off to college and the highlight of his day is watching his heavy metal mailman on his ring camera.
#Steve doesn’t mean to shut out the world. it just happens#after Robin and the rest of the kids left Hawkins he had a bit of a mental breakdown#he got a job where he could work from home and started having his groceries delivered and then covid happened#and he just…stopped going anywhere#Hopper visits sometimes but Steve thinks it’s mostly out of pity#the only face he sees with any consistency is the mailman and they’ve never talked#that is until one day Eddie knocks on the door and says Steve needs to sign for a package#He hands Steve his clipboard with a note on it ‘Date? Circle Yes or No’#the ‘package’ was a single rose (plucked from Steve’s neighbor’s garden)#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie
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The Pacesetter head model turn-around.
jumpscare bonus
#ttcc model#pacesetter#graham ness payser#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#his model is scary. hes my wife. if i look at him too long my autism eye contact sensors turn on and i have to look away#i should probably do a consistent grid layout for this but i dont want to edit my previous posts.#also if you weere fooled. he has no tongue or eye rig in his ingame model. mailman just made that version of the model for themselves.
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need to be more active on here. anyone who wants to chat about stupid shit is open to it. also inspired by the other post of someone drawing over absoluteNutcase's posts. can't find it but I love you (platonic)
#ultrakill#v2 ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#filth ultrakill#cerberus ultrakill#ferryman ultrakill#minos prime#shitpost#objectively the stupidest shit I've ever drawn#Gabriel being the mailman is intentional. look up his patron domains.
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These doodles are messy, but I was having trouble deciding who or what I even wanted to draw today! So take my funny looking doodles!
#Sunny already has beta frank#I just find it funny that Sunny isnt too fond of Eddie#He doesnt want his frank being taken away by this charming mailman!#welcome home#welcome home arg#my art#doodles#beta wally darling#beta wally#wally darling#sunny songbird#welcome home sunny#beta barnaby b beagle#barnaby b beagle#eddie dear#beta julie joyful#beta julie#Julie B.
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i'd like to think chuuya knows bits of french to some extent bc rimbaud would often randomly exclaim smth or mumble to himself in his native tongue and chuuya would overhear and pick up the little phrases and store it in the back of his mind unconsciously bc of his intrinsically observant nature, only for those phrases to resurface again when he's fighting verlaine and verlaine goes "sacre bleu!" or some shit and chuuya's like "Oh. OH. IVE HEARD THAT BEFORE...WASNT THAT WHAT SUB EXEC RANDOU ALWAYS USED TO SAY...." and verlaine completely halts with a nebulous expression on his face before going "who?????"
#yeah maybe i just said this bc i want to hear chuuya speak french. what of it? shut up.#do you think when verlaine approached chuuya as a mailman and told him to get in the car#his undeniable subtle french accent faintly registered in the back of chuuya's mind as the same tone rimbaud would speak in#and when adam yelled “THATS VERLAINE” the dots simultaneously connected as chuuya realized who the driver was#having stormbringer thoughts again... i miss this sad gay european family sm#hope chuuya brings verlaine a baguette back from france since they're in meursault still#maybe he'll move his ass out of the basement then#bsd
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say hi to Dustin Uhhhh Watterson <3
#delivered to their door by a mailman who happens to be a stork#yeah they forgot his middle name#the amazing world of gumball#tawog#rob tawog#dr wrecker#tawog rob#gumball watterson#gumrob#gumball x rob#rob x gumball
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part three of baby sub ian tags: sex club, first time sub! ian, experienced dom! mickey, ian is nervous and cute and doesn’t know what he wants exactly, all he knows is he’s very into mickey new tags: fingers in mouth, light slapping, spit [ part one ] [ part two ]
“Might be your first time and all, but shit…” he huffs, right over the trace of a smirk that levels Ian into the ground. “Already know exactly what you are…”
It pins him.
Has Ian’s eyes flicking away, then instantly back. “What?” Call it morbid curiosity.
But the answer he gets is an unsatisfying one. It’s the light pressure around his throat disappearing. The backwards scrape of the chair and the rush of the dom standing, suddenly towering over Ian all over again when he says it. “Open your mouth.”
Oh shit. “Are you gonna-” but before he can finish, the dom’s palm cracks across his face, the rest literally slapped clean from his mouth and-
It…takes a second for it to register. To work through the shock of it. But then comes the pain, warm and blooming pleasantly from the center of his cheek.
Holy…
Fuck…
“What did I tell you.”
Jesus Christ.
With a breath that trembles, Ian gathers himself, his pulse in his ears. “To-…uh…”
“You speak outta turn, what happens?”
Oh. That. “I get hit,” he repeats. Because he definitely did warn him about that.
Just as clearly as he’s speaking now, calm and collected like he didn’t just slap the shit out of Ian and turn his world upside down, solidifying that curious box tick on his form. “Now what’d I tell you to do?”
His senses are starting to return to him now, so Ian gathers his hands in his lap and tries to keep still - to ignore the blossom of pain that still echoes on his cheek, tempting him to feel for himself.
“You told me to open my mouth,” he hears himself say.
And when the dom raises his eyebrows at him, waiting expectantly…
Right…
It’s a very easy thing to do without talking, it turns out. He could have - should have - done this the whole time, even if it feels a little awkward.
Because here Ian kneels, shirtless, with a stinging cheek and an ache in his lap and his mouth wide open, waiting patiently for whatever the dom decides to do with him. It’s his first time at this level - looking up instead of looking down.
And when that hand reaches out again, Ian flinches on instinct - lashes fluttering through an aborted wince and plucked pulse. But there’s no slap this time. (Why would there be? He’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing.) Instead, he feels the leisurely drag of Sir’s thumb across his bottom lip, slowly taking in the swell of it.
“Got a pretty mouth on ya,” he says. “Even if it doesn’t know when to stop movin’.”
Another compliment. One that makes Ian’s chest heat over almost as much as getting slapped. “Thank you, sir…” he murmurs against it, feeling his thumb tug just a bit. “Your mouth is pretty too, sir…” Very pretty. Temptingly so. “We should-”
Oh-… No.
By some miracle, he stops himself. Takes the rest of his wishes and swallows them back down before he stumbles right back into dangerous territory. He’s gotta be a fast learner. For Sir.
Even if he’s enticing him up there, with his curious grin and those eyes that are starting to drive him crazy with want. “We should what?” he prods, slipping his thumb past Ian’s bottom row of teeth and right onto his tongue. “Hm…?”
It’s a trap. A hot one - don’t get him wrong. Ian’s never been the one with fingers in his mouth before and it’s definitely nice, in a weird, intrusive way. But…
He gives his head a little shake, blinking innocently up at the dom.
He won’t speak out of turn. Not so soon at least. Even if he wouldn’t exactly mind another-
“Just outta curiosity… You got a partner, Ian…?”
He strokes the pad of his thumb back and forth, across the width of Ian’s tongue.
It fills his mouth with spit like clockwork - like some sort of strange press of the Dom Button.
A little head shake no. That’s all he can answer with right now.
It flies. “No commitments?”
He tries to swallow. Shakes his head.
“Not even anybody you got a crush on…?”
And…
Something in Ian’s chest flutters again. And it must transfer to his face, because the dom keeps his hand cupped under Ian’s chin, but slips his thumb out of his mouth.
Permission to speak.
And if that’s the case…
“Well…” Ian murmurs with spitty lips, “there is someone…”
“Oh yeah…?”
Bait.
Ian resituates on his knees. Pulls himself in extra neatly, the way his hands clasp in his lap casually covering the bulge that’s grown in his pants. Because, “Yes, sir…” he admits up to him. “It’s you, sir…”
Best-behaved.
It’s what he’s supposed to be saying, but honestly it’s not even that much of an exaggeration. Since the moment this man planted himself front and center, Ian could feel it. Even now, it’s swirling in his chest as he sits here, under the watch of those scary-pretty eyes and that scary-handsome face.
He wants this man’s attention.
His touch.
Ian wants him, period.
Or on second thought, maybe he’s not supposed to be saying this at all. Because for one brief moment, surprise flashes across the dom’s face. Pleasant surprise. Like he wasn’t expecting that answer, actually.
And suddenly the heat in Ian’s chest is threatening to sour into embarrassment. Because Christ… Wait a minute…
But, “Is that right,” Sir finally says, and the way he cups Ian’s freshly-slapped cheek does nothing more than deepen the pink. “You got a lil’ crush on me, Ian?”
It’s teasing, but Ian’s gotten himself in this now, so he pushes through. Feels himself leaning into his palm as he mumbles it, truthfully. “Not ‘little’…”
God, his pulse is hammering away like he’s in fucking school again. And the dom’s doing nothing but helping it quicken, his palm sliding back and around to card through Ian’s hair, getting a good handful in his grip so he can hold him still while he says it, dangerously close. “You’re a fuckin’ treat, ain’tchya…”
It’s too many sensations to focus on, layered on top of the scrape of the chair getting pulled forward again. It leaves Ian nodding aimlessly even though that wasn’t really a question because all his attention has narrowed, point blank, to that pretty fucking mouth just inches away and how bad he wants the dom to kiss him…kiss him…fuck, kiss him please.
“Open your mouth.”
Ian does it without hesitation, his pulse spiking and heart in his throat when his secret wishes are finally answered - with enthusiasm - Sir’s tongue licking right past his lips and into his open mouth to seal it all in a kiss - warm and wet and noisy and yes, God, fucking thank you.
Ian’s eyes roll closed. Lips part even wider, too overwhelmed to break out his moves, but he doesn’t have to here. The dom’s got it more than handled, controlling their pace and keeping him steady - keeping him upright, tilting his head so he can lap at Ian’s tongue and then suck it into his mouth, gentle but skilled.
It has him absolutely aching, the noise that escapes him coming from deep within his soul.
The dom hums around his tongue, and it’s a chuckle. A tease.
And Jesus Christ, maybe if he’s good this man will just swallow him whole.
“Open…” he hears, and in an instant he’s following instructions, his lashes fluttering just in time to see Sir pursing his lips above him.
Another curious box tick. Another clear affirmation, Ian’s eyes rolling shut all over again as the dom spits into his mouth, and then leans right back down to lick it up.
Holy fuck…
It makes for a sloppy kiss. Drooly lips as the space widens again for him to hear it. “You like that?”
Ian huffs out a heated breath, “Yes sir…” He really fucking does.
“Then what do you say?”
“More, please…”
“No…” Leading. Instructing. “You say thank you, don’t you?” Oh. “Good boys say thank you when they’re given somethin’.”
Ian tries to find a place for that to stick in his brain - an olympic task when he’s got that mouth pressing more kisses to his lips. “Mm…” he feels fucking dazed. “Thank you, sir…”
And it’s now that the discomfort in his knees is starting to make sense, just enough of his brain still online to realize that he’s crept his way off the pillow - slid himself right up between the dom’s legs so he’s damn near in his lap, head tilted so far back to keep him in his sights that he has to steady himself on his warm, heavenly thighs.
Surely this can’t be right.
Surely Ian shouldn’t be all up on him like this - touching without permission.
But the dom is feeding right into it. Feeding Ian more attention, more kisses, more spit - drawn out this time as he drools right onto Ian’s tongue, letting it slide back on its own before speaking. “Swallow.”
Ian swallows.
“Open.”
Ian opens. Blinks up at him, arms wrapped fully around his middle now to cling on for dear life.
“You’re bein’ real good for me, Ian,” he says, and it’s as he slides three fingers over the flat of his tongue, keeping them there. “A real good boy.”
If he could answer, Ian would. But his mouth has been stuffed full, drool pooling and brows furrowing and god, he’s hard.
“You know what I’m gonna let you do for bein’ so good?” A little pump of his fingers… Stilling as Ian wraps his lips around them, ready for the bomb to drop… And an absolute bomb, it is. “I’m gonna let you eat me out a little.”
It shakes his pulse. He can feel it in his chest - in his wrists - in his fucking breath as the dom pulls his fingers out and uses the same hand to give his cheek a few gentle, spitty pats.
“Speak.”
“Uh-…” The words are tripping up. Tangling in the horrifically horny mess. “Yes sir, that-… I’d fucking love that, sir…”
It pleases. Enough to stop the gentle slaps, at least. “Course you would. But this ain’t about you.” And then the dom is reaching around himself, leading Ian’s clinging arms off of him so he can push back in the chair again and stand, “It’s about me,” his back to him now as he saunters over to the low, red velvet chaise in the back of the room, “and I got a feelin’ that sweet mouth of yours is gonna get me good and ready for that cock.”
When he turns to face him again, all the energy - all the power - draws in and sharpens, with pinprick accuracy, as he snaps his fingers and then points to the floor beside him.
“Come.”
Ian’s not gonna make it outta here alive.
#(suburban dad waving to the mailman as he mows his lawn voice) mornin#gallavich#ray writes#check the tags we’re starting to get a little nasty#baby sub ian au
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I want to love and support postal service workers during this stressful time. And I do. However it's hard when they do some things
#yesterday there was a package on my porch for someone who lives fully a block away on a different street#i have something coming that was marked ''out for delivery'' Saturday and is now marked ''at fedex facility''. hm#also i think this would be easier if my mailman were reliable most of the time but he's not#he can't be bothered to turn his head and look at our house to see if we have mail to go out#so sometimes it just sits there for days if he doesn't have to come up to the porch#and he just refuses to take away not at this address mail. leaves it there.#oh well. i bought so many stamps this week!#and you know who i DO appreciate. the lovely man at the small town post office who always apologizes#once for someone being mildly rude to him in front of me and once just for a minor wait. in december! he's so nice
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Day 1 of drawing Phighting OCs!!
(cause I think more ppl should have fanart of their ocs)
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Mailman belongs to: @shriimpcandle (<- cool artist alert!!)
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Cane belongs to: @archnemossis (<-awesome artist alert!!)
also I did these with scented pens so take that as you will :3
#phighting!#phighting art#phighting roblox#roblox#artists on tumblr#art#phighting ocs#phighting oc#phighting fanart#Edit: I need to talk abt how cool they are#I LOVE mailman’s expressions in his ref and the overall concept is amazing X33 (and the COLORS)#I adore canes color palette and the actual design itself cause its so simple yet memorable#Also THEY ARE ALL CUTIES!!!!
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merry christmas btw guys
#roblox art#roblox oc#art#oc#stupid mailman that i dont like (lie)#this is still his 'casual' wear around his house (it's his work clothes still. i think he should blow up and die)
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another lil freak for my lair
her name is Babygorl and she has seasonal allergies
#never have I gene'd a dragon faster#I think she's gonna be a mailman or smth cuz my lore is just a tier above baby's first creative writing class#hi I'm still not dead just really lazy and still devoting my life to yakuza#also shiny hunting a lot in scarlet cuz I'm sick in the head#aether#flight rising#dragon share#giger alien#body horror#trypophobia#space gene
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