#or have him be a part of the business minigame like HE IS LITERALLY. IN THE FOOD INDUSTRY

[todayisafridaynight]

sometimes i forget ryuji is technically dead because he just isn't yk

[ruby-whistler]

i made a list of the vibes of the hermits i watch, so you might want to check some of them out! this is just mostly jokes, but i thought all of the more “serious” propaganda was missing something, so have what truly makes hermitcraft worth it; the players’ unique styles!

will be back on my dsmp stuff asap but it’s the first day of season 8 and i would really appreciate if you checked them out through the links provided :]

Grian; [ episode one link ]

vibes of a 17 year old mcyter, is actually 27 and married

noo not my red jumpah!

chaotic capitalist

someone is making the server better through order? *starts another war* whoops, hand slipped :D

he built a- he rebuilt his entire megabase in survival, above a giant lake of lava, in the nether, on hard mode, upside down??

“watching as scar dies over and over in my trap is peak comedy and i’m tired of pretending it’s not” but it happens like 5 times i every season

video editing is very main-stream and good for short attention spans!

*sad montage over losing stuff he’ll get back in 15 minutes because he’s rich*

pesky birdd! great elytra flier! amazing builder! will tnt your house! poultrymannn!!

wholesome, chaos incarnate, talented architect

why won’t mumbo respond to my messages it’s been two weeks :[ (clingy)

doors???????????? your house has doors???? no doors for you good sir!

will laugh a lot at a lot of things, esp when he’s with his friends

genuinely just so fun to watch

Mumbo Jumbo; [ episode one link ]

perfect british accent

mustache man (warning: he has no mustache irl)

*fails ten businesses in a row* iskall please help

redstone is his element

“it’s actually quite simple” i like your funny words magic man, now can you repeat how in the hell you made a that fancy vault work-

filmographer?? i think? met up with grian irl

him and grian have a robot son named grumbot. that has nothing to do with the vibes but i had to mention him because he means a lot to me.

tries to stay out of wars and server politics until someone (grian) drags him into them

minigame maker, makes the hermits competitive and that is scary (also very funny) e. g. button, hermit challengesss!

“it’ll be fineee” *que shot of everything on fire behind him*

makes his base a living being and then all his neighbors end up feeding it instead of him

conspiracy theorist. bumbo baggins. the usual.

very entertaining videos that help you learn more about minecraft mechanics!

GoodTimesWithScar; [ episode one link ]

wheelchair creator with literally the best vibes

so wholesome i. he is so cool he makes me so happy :’D

*extremely cool announcer voice* ooooo hello there my fellow miners and crafters, good timeees with scar heree, and welcome backk to the wonderful world of hermits and crafting, and we’re flying over-

commentates everything extremely well

spends tenths of hours on builds within a single video and doesn’t bat an eye

lore for all of his builds! he builds these amazing bases to tell a story!

“i wanna see white flags! white flags, outside your base, by-“ wait no wrong anti-rebellion army leader

all videos have a clear objective

mostly building, but he loves hanging out/helping his friends!

loves disney movies! wants to go to space! :D

kind-hearted, always makes everyone else smile

can be chaotic but usually just tries to have fun and make sure everyone else has fun too

*flies into a tree on half a heart* wait what why did i die D:

scar. scar please eat. you’re going to die for the tenth time this video-

the non-chaotic capitalist, has extremely creative shop designs

a danger to himself, but also the kind of person you can’t be angry at for long

BdoubleO100; [ episode one link ]

the guitar music at the beginning of his videos brings a smile to my face, it just has such an immaculate mood

*camera pans over him as said music plays* ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of hoimycraffff

the way he talks is extremely endearing

one of the best builders on the server - probably best builder of interiors in existence

able to make a palette using any number of strange blocks and then make amazing builds using it

built a whole castle as a backdrop, then built an entire giant mountain for said castle

extremely sensitive to short jokes, usually gets pranked by others because his reactions are always so funny

his daughters show up from time to time in his room while he’s recording and it’s so cute

*has no way to see the sun but still knows it’s nighttime* gotta go schleep!

scar, pointing at him “this is why we can’t have nice sunsets”

(scar dies because of mobs every time bdubs isn’t on the server to sleep)

likes to be accomplice because he isn’t the one being made fun of (/lh)

*shoots himself in front of a confused grian because he thinks the guy wants his face again when he’s actually just looking for a netherportal*

is usually the underdog so it feels good when he wins

they’re all actually such great friends so it’s genuinely funny to watch

he himself is amazing at entertainment and just a very cool guy

ImpulseSV; [ episode one link ]

what’s going on everyone, my name is impulse and welcome back to hermitcraft!

always speaks with a smile in his voice

has a good dynamic with basically everyone

great co-worker and always helps out if he can

had his base turned pink during the swap, and instead of changing it back afterwards, he dyed his skin’s hair and clothing pink to match it

very cool and original building style!

makes a lot of farms and sells what he gets in his few shops

makes money to be able to do more stuff and make more farms

blows up most his base ever so often to rebuild parts. you know, like a normal person does in minecraft survival.

the grind is never over

the guy who always gets all of the work done on the school project and proceeds to be chill about it

always has very cool side-projects going on and puts his heart into all of them

pog timelapses!!

Rendog; [ episode one link ]

*short, funny scene from the video at the beginning slowly fades out into great music

dogs howling as the half-dog half-cog logo comes up*

greetiiings cyberdogs and citizens of the interbubs! this is ren diggity dawg coming atcha, in another minecraft episodes varuuummm the hermit. craft. server. (hey!)

we’re kicking things off today my friends, from the- *location name on screen*

that intro gets me hyped every time

he’s a furry who talks in bro language it’s great i swear - very atypical but fun

he transformed an entire biome into a star wars planet for his base

his building skills and dedication are incredible

horny (just a little bit)

the only person who cared about mycelium in the whole rebellion

does a lot of roleplay-themed stuff and mysteries to be solved

“b-dubba-dubs one hundred”

extremely upbeat & sweet guy

adds -age after everything “biddage” “flyage” to make it sound Cooler

amazingly positive always and funny as hell

mcc winner!! wooooooooo :D

always tries to be where stuff is happening and interact with people

very entertaining editing style

Iskall85; [ episode one link ]

drives joke into the mud and then picks them up and does it again which is funny

starts videos with one-off bits

iskallman!!! the superhero literally no one needed and yet there he is

only has one (1) braincell when with mumbo

they both do and they’re hilarious together every time

like when they laughed at squeaky noises for ten minutes straight. guys please you’re adult men

bernie the leaf master

omega (something) of doom!!

encourages gambling (in a videogame)

he has so many jokes he keeps using i can’t possibly fit them all in here

basically a wildcard

i have no idea what he’s doing this season

i have no idea what he’s doing ever actually

tame chaos, confusing to the point when it’s funny again

really great builder as well!

mostly for younger audiences but his videos are a good watch in general

feel free to send asks about hc! i’m already loosely involved in hermitblr but yeah, my dsmp followers aren’t immune :] /lh /j

[something-very-special]

they ran over the seals

More Replicant playthrough observations and general nonsense under the cut. For reference, up to the keystone quest; completed the Forest of Myth and Junk Heap.

This fucking game I swear to god.

A vaguely coherent ramble about sidequests An observation about sidequests in general in this game -- and I don't recall if I ever voiced this somewhere public or it was just a personal observation from my time with the original -- is that the quests in the first half of the game are all relatively easy to complete. There's that one asshat who wants 10 goat hides, but other than him, most of the sidequests are either very much based on finding characters, or gathering a sensible number of items that are either relatively common, purchasable, or given a guaranteed spawn for the duration of that quest.

The sidequests everybody remembers having to do are in the second half, where everybody is demanding and awful and I'm sorry ten MACHINE OILS do you know how goddamn rare those are? They're goddamn rare.

(We'll not discuss Life in the Sands.)

This is generally agreed to, in the technical vernacular, 'suck'. And it's always funny that the most interesting sidequests are the ones with very minimal requirements (Yonah's cooking, getting Popola drunk, the Lighthouse Ladoh my god everything's gone blurry I'm not crying you're crying who am I kidding we're both crying). That particular aspect of the design also feels intentional, not really gating your ability to progress the really meaningful or funny sidequests behind an unreasonable number of rare items. The other aspect of the design is that these quests are not meant to be completed in a single playthrough; most of them are single-stage and just absolutely unreasonable, but if you're going through the game four times you have a... reasonable chance of getting everything you need more or less naturally.

Nobody does that but I think that was the intended design. I think it's a good idea, although the execution of expectation is flawed so I don't really blame people for saying those sidequests suck. (Although I will in turn blame people for saying the sidequests suck as a blanket statement. Yeah getting that guy who burned his kitchen down a billion Broken Motors is aggravating but did you not find that old man's dog? Speak to Ursula on her death bed? Solve a murder? Then again I think tracking down that rotten son who's trying to get away from The Family Business only to learn his father is a con-artist and get literally no reward is the height of comedy so maybe I'm not the greatest point of reference.)

But that asshole in Facade can get bent. I can't exploit my garden properly, jackass! I am no longer a god of time. (I kid, of course.) (This guys sucks even when you can fix your clock.)

Forest of Myth It didn't even occur to me to wonder how they would incorporate the comprehensive voice acting into the Forest of Myth. I like how it plays out, although I wish the voices maybe had a fade as you went deeper into the dream instead of just cutting out at some point, especially for the lines where the characters are being ascribed actions by the narrator that they themselves aren't doing near the start of the Deathdream. But it's just delightful to go back to it. The second half of the game really sticks in your mind both for emotional reasons and because you play it at least three times per full playthrough of the game, but the first half is just so much fun.

Protip: Talk to everybody after you've finished the dream sidequest. Weiss tries to dissuade you. Don't let him dissuade you. I'm still delighted by the Mayor; "We're building a statue of you, made of solid gold. I know you don't own a horse, but we're going to put you on a horse."

I forgot about Yonah being a disaster chef Papa Nier's reaction to the stew is better. Brother is still funny but Papa Nier just expecting to die is comedy gold.

For anybody curious, the joke about the cakes is that Yonah made 'fruit cake' using some of the worst possible fruits for cake-making. If only she'd thrown a tomato into the mix, too.

Lighthouse Lady Every time. what the fuck is a canal I'm aware of the addition of the new-old content but it didn't occur to me until Popola suddenly starts nattering on about fixing the canal when I'm expecting Yonah to talk about a penpal that oh, yeah, I guess Seafront would have had something going on the first half that would play into the second half? (I assume it does. Be weird to introduce these characters just to have groundwork for an added sidequest. ...but it was a cute sidequest.) But look Popola my boy is supposed to be in the next area I visit could we-- I mean he's on the way could we just-- no-- fiiiiiiiiiine. (It was short and sweet, though, and I appreciate that the couple's love is exemplified by them both calling Weiss a floating magazine in tandem.) On a related note but was I the only person suddenly concerned when the sidequest completion maxed out at 50% and not 51%? I had to double-check with a guide just to make sure, since I've spent the last decade telling people to make sure you hit 51% before going on to Part II.

MY BOY I love that nowadays, Emil is everybody's son. But I really wish I could go find somebody only familiar with Automata and just watch their reaction. (I'm guessing there are streams out there that fulfill this but man I'd love to get it in-person.) If you're only familiar with him from Automata this has to be a mindfuck.

Personal anecdote, but I've had the privilege of playing NIER with somebody else almost every time I've gone through it. I had a wonderful experience of doing a replay some years back with somebody who had experienced it with me before but didn't have the most solid memory of the beginning (and had actually missed the entire weapon's lab the first time through). I get to the boy at the piano introducing himself and the 'Wait, what?' was a thing of beauty.

MY ANDROID This was a welcome mindfuck for me; finding Sebastian and having him 'reactivate' in such an unnatural, mechanical way. I don't recall if it was ever officially confirmed that Sebastian is an android (I know that it's just understood that this is the case but I'm not I can't recall a specific one) but the little flair they added to his animation caught me completely off guard. I liked it!

Destroying the food source A lot of people will cite a major inciting incident for the game as being when the protagonist heading back into the village and killing the child Shades just outside the entrance. This moment is such a great bit of subtle foreshadowing that's so easy to miss... but kind of joining that, just before the Knave of Hearts attacks, I realized that the Shades out on the Northern Plains are clearly ramping up for an assault of their own by murdering the sheep. The sheep population at this point is decimated (which is great when you realize you haven't gotten the Sheepslayer trophy and you're about to enter Part II and you don't know if the boar drifting minigame got carried forward with the inclusion of 15 Nightmares). You go out onto the Plains and you will find not only small clusters of sheep left behind instead of the vast, terrifying herds from the start of the game, but until you get their attention the Shades are prioritizing killing the sheep. (Also annoying because that doesn't count toward my sheep murder number.) The Shades will be out there also killing sheep earlier on, but since the whole map is in Overcast mode after talking to Yonah it's especially prevalent to go out to the Northern Plains and seeing the slaughter. And I realized-- they're cutting the Village off from a primary food source. Shades don't eat and they don't have any beef with the local ungulates (at least, no more so than anybody else does), so why are they hunting down the sheep? To deprive their enemies of resources. Sheep are extinct by the timeskip. It's actually really clever of them, and a really clever indication of their sentience and intelligence before it's fully verified.

"Let's get these shit-hogs!" Everything about the way Kaine and Emil interact across the entire game is perfect I will brook no argument this is objective fact.

Emotive Rectangles I wrote an essay about this before but it really bears repeating that the job the original animators did with this scene is just phenomenal. The way Weiss drifts, flits, flips, fans his pages, drunkenly swerves, shoots around the room in defiance... He's a goddamn rectangle, but there is so much emotion and personality in this scene just based on the movements conveyed through a what is effectively just a box. Ten years later and triple-A titles with full facial capture don't have this much seething personality. I really have to give props to the cavia animators, wherever they wound up. That studio could really put some subtle love and care into their titles, utterly unnecessary and easy to miss but you can tell that whoever was working on it was giving it their all. The books are probably the exemplification of this, but every time I go into Seafront and visit the seals I can tell that the guy on seal duty was having just the best day. They made Emil so pretty There's an FMV cutscene right smack in the middle of the original game after the battle against Noir. I understand why it was a necessity on a technical level, but it always looked pretty out of place and a little uncanny valley compared to the rest of the graphical fidelity. That's no longer a necessity so this cutscene is rendered in-engine. I admit I was actually curious to see it redone this way and it looks fantastic. I single out Emil since he is the focal point of cutscene and because his particular high-poly model had some pretty weird difference from his in-engine model, but he and Kaine both look great. But, like, it's almost mean how pretty he is.

They made Brother Nier so pretty Yeah okay you got me he's kind of hot. Kaine's expression when she wakes up and looks him over is... significantly easier to read now. Good voice, too. (Ancient rumors tell that one of the issues with international releases of RepliCant was that they couldn't find an English VA with a voice that 'fit' Brother Nier. He sounded good out the gate but hearing him growl "Let's go TAKE CARE of those KIDS" during the thief sidequest-- I got chills. It sounds so silly but there's a kind of percolating fury to that delivery. Papa Nier was like frustrated but mostly disappointed dad; I felt like Brother was going to take care of those kids, and nobody was going to find the bodies. Younger Brother Nier just never stops looking goofy to me but Older Brother just looks great in motion, between the alterations they made to the movement and just the entire weaponry system. The distinction between the two halves of the game was always a little odd in the Gestalt version-- not odd enough to really raise eyebrows if you didn't know about RepliCant, but of course you can tell that this age gape between the optimistic doe-eyed dogooder and a man largely ruled by his fury and calloused by tragedy is what the timeskip was going for. Swab me down and call me Ishmael, it works. Younger Brother wasn't quite clicking with me-- not because of any writing or voicework issues, but I've got Papa Nier on the back of my mind and it's impossible not to compare and contrast the delivery and dialogue between the two. I know that this is intentional, too; Younger Brother is supposed to be that happy-go-lucky video game protagonist, always doing the right thing and helping people, in order to contrast against the man he becomes. Even just edging into Part II the effect is dramatic and it recontextualizes Younger Brother into a much more effective overall character. And let me reiterate, I enjoyed my time with Younger Brother just fine, I have no issues with him. But he's up against Well Meaning Big Dummy Part I Papa Nier. No contest. And I'm excited to see where Older Brother goes from here.

Speaking of voices I mentioned this before but the delivery on the character's lines is different. The entire game was re-recorded and quite a few lines are still pretty similar to the original, but there are some that are... definitely different. Part of this is a difference in the relationship between characters based on their life experience and ages-- Weiss is much more of an ass to Younger Brother but has a much more even respect for Older Brother (neither of which are like the rapport he established with Father). Some of Kaine's lines feel more aloof, dismissive, and almost tired in the front half of the game. I haven't really gotten to a point to dig into Emil's rapport with the other characters, but the delivery feels more hesitant and uncertain (which I think is more in line with his Japanese VO, but I'm prefacing that on an untrained ear and a presumption rather than recent memory). It's been interesting to see not just where hey adjusted dialogue (and how-- there are some lines that didn't need to be rewritten), but also how they adjust tone and delivery. Dealing with Younger Brother is one thing, but as I said, I'm very excited to see what's different in the second half, especially being much more familiar with that part of the game. Speaking of Voices! Halua got dialogue! I... preferred when it was inferred (and the implications of "I'll always be watching over you" are borderline malicious given the results of their fusion dance, yeah THANK YOU HALUA this is GREAT). Halua's delivery also felt a little too innocent and upbeat both for the situation and when compared to her narrative voice in The Stone Flower, where she comes across as much more cynical and cold. But given what she's been through and the nightmare she's finally escaping I guess she's allowed express happiness. She's certainly earned the right to having a spoken line. No matter what. Every fuckin' time.

"Here we go." This was always a great line to kind of ease in to the officially-official start of Part II-- every time you start up a New Game+ you're greeted with Emil musing about his conflation of Halua to Kaine, and then the phrase "Here we go". There's a lot in that one line. On a personal level he's grounding his thoughts in the moment and steeling himself for what comes next and pushing through his pain and sadness and fear. Whatever Nier told him in the facility he's still terrified, desperately terrified, that Kaine -- who was the one who told him his life had meaning -- is going to reject him. And why wouldn't she? Ultimately they don't know each other, not really. He understands at that moment that his relationship with Kaine is based on confused memories of his sister, that maybe the bond he thought they established isn't actually real. As soon as he frees Kaine he's going to have to confront her, like this, and how could she ever-- she won't-- but he can't just leave her. Whatever happens next. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. (God it matters.) "Here we go." On a meta level, that's our introduction into the second half of the game. The first half is all prologue. This is where we'll be spending the rest of our time, even to the point that 'New Game+' skips straight ahead to this moment. Now that we've finished the establishment, this is where it all builds and where it all matters. Here we go, audience. The ride starts now. You get up to this point now in Replicant. You get the same lead-in. My dumb ass even whispered "Here we go", because I can't help myself. And he says, of course he says--! "Anyway." ... ...a-anyway? What the hell kind of line is that? "Here's some deeply personal musings that are also an indication of my own discomfort as I babble to myself just to fill the void so I can stave off thinking for just a few more seconds. ANYWAY." What a... bizarre decision. Just bizarre.

Upgraded melee combat The introduction to the armored Shades always feel kind of rough-- the defenses on those Shades are significantly higher than anything you've faced and the new weapons you're given to combat them just aren't that good. (If you got lucky you could have a fully-upgraded Faith by now, which is nearly three times as powerful as the 'heavy' two-handed sword you're given; if you downloaded the 4 YoRHa pack for Replicant you've probably been able to upgrade one of those weapons once, which are also a really nice strength boost that leaves the freebie heavy swords and spears in the dust). As an introduction to the new weapon types it always feels like rough going. But then you get a chance to get decent weapons and the combat system truly opens up, and compared to the first game you really feel it. At this juncture I would always just bustle off to Facade and grab the Phoenix Spear and never look back-- the raw power compared to the rest of your arsenal coupled with the triangle dash is basically the bread and butter of the rest of the game. It's not exciting, but it's effective. No more triangle dashing, which was deeply disappointing... but both weapons definitely feel good. I am also somewhat ashamed to admit that it wasn't until now that I realized attacks weren't just about rhythmic input-- you can hold the attacks down to do different charged hits and combos depending on when you execute them in your combo, similar to Automata. I, uh... I felt a bit dumb. But hey, wow, it's a welcome adjustment and it makes all of the weapon types feel equally valuable for different purposes. I never liked using the heavy blades in the original release because they just felt too slow for the damage output they did, even if their 'point' was mostly to sheer off armor (and they definitely felt too slow for use in crowd control). Now they're still heavy and slower, but not to the point that you're basically leaving yourself open just trying to attack. Spears now do crazy sweeping combos and multi-hits. Both of these properties were borrowed from Automata and I find myself prioritizing melee combat and almost forgetting I have magic because honestly it just feels intuitive and fun. I feel like Kaine and Emil might have gotten a power boost as well? Not that I can really confirm this but going into some of the Junk Heap rooms I'd focus on killing a few robots in the corner and then turn around and just see a field of item drops and no more robots. Don't take my word on that, of course, but they felt a little more effective, and a placebo effect is still an effect. "You're staging a protest? That's fun!" Emil. Rebel without a cause. Will not hesitate to kill you if you trespass on his property. (Might explain the statues in the courtyard, actually.) I'll have to double-check this dialogue because I definitely remember more of a melancholia before we get to roasting marshmallows. I think Papa Nier actually offers to talk to/implicitly threaten the villagers to let them in the Village whereas Brother offers to sleep outside with them... which is actually kind of funny. In the former it comes off as Emil and Kaine maybe kinda-sorta not wanting to be allowed in the Village for their own reasons (they're not happy reasons but they're reasons nonetheless) and reassuring Father that no, it's okay, it's fun! The latter is almost telling Brother to stay inside because he'll ruin their sleepover.

(They're absolutely having giggly girl talk about him outside the gates, 100%.) they ran over the seals All I want in Seafront is to enjoy the music and run out to the big beach and hang out with the last living seals and they put a fucking pirate ship on top of them. Oh, wow. Gideon. Wow. OG Nier featured a Gideon that tried to keep himself together and then had fits of mania. You'd be concerned about him during some of the dialogue but generally speaking he came across as... functional. The delivery on all of his lines is now so insanely murder bonkers, like every line he's addressing you like you're already chained to the wall of his serial killer dungeon and it's glorious. I don't know if the distinction between the games is deliberate (in that Gideon in Gestalt was just more even-keeled between his 'rip 'em apart' snarlings and was always just totally nutso in RepliCant) but I do appreciate it. It's a good mirror to Brother Nier's own anger, which only ever seems to be mollified when he's talking to his friends (even kindly accepting sidequests there's a pretty consistent -- not universal, but consistent -- air of barely-bridled frustration). The other characters that Brother encounters are various reflections of himself if things had just been a little different-- Gideon was a representation of the kind of obsessive madness that would have eaten Brother alive if he hadn't had his network of support. Gideon's constant fury and bloodlust even bleeds into him just saying "What can I do for you?" He has no anchor to keep himself sane, nobody to stay human for; he's all mania, all anger, and he only takes any real interest in Brother on his return because he sees an opportunity to act out his vengeance. After defeating Beepy and Kalil he even goes so far as to not only blame Beepy for killing Jakob, but for also killing their mother, which is patently insane but really speaks to how far his justifications and fury have taken him. Papa Nier responds to his anger toward Beepy by basically backing away slowly and saying "Oookay then". Brother, however, actually commiserates; "That's enough. [...] We get it. We really do." This is definitely one of those moments where Brother's context works better than Father's; he absolutely sees himself in Gideon. He completely understands him and sympathizes. He recognizes the madness of his own quest, he sees where it could take him, and there's a resignation when he speaks to Weiss: "Revenge is a fool's errand." "...yeah." Papa Nier has a similar delivery and similarly implies that he understands how terrible his quest is, but there's something decidedly haunting in Brother's sympathy. Also just verifying something on the wiki and this bit of 'Trivia' really jumped at me:

Gideon is the only character to only cause the deaths of other characters. In his case, he caused a platform to crush Jakob and ordered the deaths of P-33 and Kalil, with P-33 surviving.

Metal AF.

[jostepherjoestar]

hey cozy! ik requests are closed at the moment so u dont have to answer this im only sending it so i dont forget the idea! u can answer once requests are open again haha so like what about hcs for la squadra members actually playing yakuza? im not a yakuza player but my friend is and im trying to get into it!

La Squadra playing Yakuza 0 HC’s

AAA! Anon I love you for requesting this!! I know the niche in the Yakuza and JJBA venn diagram is kinda small :0 but here we go regardless because this mixture has literally been my shit for a year so far!! Hc’s for them playing Yakuza 0 since that’s a very nice entry point 💖✨(also deffo give the game a try it will BREAK UR HEART)

also maybe Yakuza 0 spoilers?

Risotto

Risotto will be hard to convince to do anything fun or relaxing since he’s always working. After a loooooot of nagging he will finally give in and say he’ll play a chapter or two.

Silent standoff with Kiryu because Risotto can R E L A T E.

Is surprised that he likes the fighting mechanics and quickly picks up the combos, literally obliterates enemies with his skills.

Gets sucked into the story and will play more than two chapters because he just needs to know what the fuck is going on.

Risotto is BAD at the karaoke mini game at first, not really having much experience with games in general, especially rhythm games. He gets a little better over time but still can’t get over a 92 score.

When he gets to Majima he will  R E L A T E again. He feels a connection between the complicated situations in the game and his own work life, he’s glad that it’s fictional because he’s already feeling a bit stressed thinking about being in those situations.

Will finish the game pretty quickly, doesn’t do too much side quests or minigames because he loves the story too much. He does like the Cabaret Club Czar minigame, he enjoys talking to the girls but won’t finish it. Ignores the existence of Pocket Racing.

Formaggio

Is into casually gaming every once in a while and is open to the game but isn’t really sure he will like the story.

Oh but he falls hard. He’s totally in love with this game, literally loses his shit at the end of every chapter.

Will get distracted and play way too much side content instead of the main story despite wanting to know what happens next. Will also ragequit if he can’t get the hit in baseball or grab the plushy in the claw machine.

Likes the silliness of the side quests but gets a little whiplashed from the emotional tone changes in the main story.

POCKET RACING IS HIS SHIT! Will complete the Real Estate business thing just so he can spend all his money on car parts.

Is pretty good at karaoke and will start randomly singing the songs throughout the day. Also really loves Cabaret Club Czar and grind till he finishes it. 

Formaggio is a loud gamer, will say his thoughts out loud and attract an audience from his housemates.

Is a literal mess at the end. WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS?

Illuso

Doesn’t really game but like Risotto will finally cave so whoever’s nagging will finally shut up.

Is suspicious of every character and what their part is in the story. Has a bunch of predictions at the start, actually got a few things right before knowing what was up.

Really loves Nishiki and wishes he could be friends with him in real life. Does still think he’s hotter than Nishiki even though he has great hair.

Doesn’t bother too much with doing a lot of side quests and finds it really annoying he can’t run through the map without getting into a fight every 2 seconds.

Oof he doesn’t really like Majima but gets where he comes from, just doesn’t really relate to him.

Gets annoyed by Kiryu’s denseness sometimes.

Enjoys the story but doesn’t really get emotionally attached.

Even though he will have enjoyed it, he won’t play any other games from the franchise, he has better stuff to do.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto is not a gamer AT ALL, has a hard time getting into it and barely understands the controls.

Will offer live snide commentary about the stupid stuff that happens.

He does enjoy going ham every once in a while once he gets beast mode.

He tries out almost everything available sidecontent-wise and eating at restaurants just to see what it’s like.

Does get bored easily and doesn’t care if he finishes the game or not.

Well shit... he dropped the game before he even got into it.

Don’t bother him again with playing games unless it’s cards, he’s an old man like that.

Pesci

Pesci enjoys gaming every once in a while and is actually pretty good at them. He can really lose himself in them, fully concentrated and having a lot of fun.

He loves Kiryu and looks up to him, he can relate to Kiryu being a bit lost as well. Majima on the other hand is very cool to him but he doesn’t really get his transition.

Will love playing Cabaret Club and completes it. He truly does his best to talk with the hostesses, making it practice for when he actually has to talk to girls.

Has a crush on all of the girls, if they’re somewhat nice to him he’ll think about them for days.

Pesci is pretty good at fighting in the Colosseum as well, enjoying being able to focus on successfully beating the hell out of those idiots.

Wants to swoop Makoto off her feet and speed off to safety. Cheers her on quietly and cries whenever bad things happen.

Absolutely crushed by the ending but will still want to continue playing the other games in the franchise.

Melone

Did someone say new hyper-fixation? Because it sure sounded like it!!

Melone plays to game from start to end fully into it and only wanting more. In between jobs he’ll spend most of his time playing, fully immersed.

He wants to 100% the game at any cost, so he will do premium adventure to get all the achievements.

Sometimes he isn’t even having fun anymore, just doing the things he needs to get that 100%. Will have heard every single karaoke song a million times and still listens to them by choice.

He looooves playing Cabaret Club Czar and doesn’t even need a guide to know how to get the most out of his hostesses. He’d actually love to manage a hostess club now that he thinks about it.

Will get a crush on Majima, will cry at all the horrible stuff that happens and he will stan him even harder in the end.

Melone is already planning his trip to Tokyo for a thorough tour of Kabukicho (Kamurocho), won’t even need a guide since he’s memorised the map.

He will also purchase all the other games available in the franchise. Honestly he’s never been this into any game before but he’s so glad to have found it.

Ghiaccio

Just like Formaggio he is a loud gamer. This game will get on his nerves, especially since he isn’t immediately good at fighting.

No matter how angry he gets he will NOT quit! Gritting his teeth and slamming the controller but HE WILL CONTINUE FUUU-

Can relate to Majima a lot, sometimes he feels like another pawn in a game he has no power in. Maybe it inspires him to be more rebellious or let go of mental restraints.

He will try for hours on end to get a 100 in karaoke. When he finally gets it, expect a loooot of yelling and whooping.

Secretly loves dressing up the hostesses but is too embarrassed to play too much Cabaret Club in case someone walks by.  

Ghiaccio will also get annoyed at Kiryu’s sporadic stupidity.

He’ll also spend a lot of time on Pocket Circuit but he won’t finish it once it gets hard, unlike the fighting in the game, he will quit this minigame.

He won’t let anyone see or know but he sobbed like a baby at the ending. He really liked the story and got attached to these wonderfully weird characters.

[benisasoftboi]

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel II:

they still haven’t told me why it’s Class VII

So I liked this WAY more than CS1, thumbs up

I am annoyed that the only new location was Ymir (WHAT A COINCIDENCE that all the important places in the war were specifically ones Rean had been to already)

I just really wanna go to Parm idk

Bless Anton for showing up right at the end and giving me just enough AP to make A0

(fav Anton and Ricky subplot yet, god I love those guys)

I LOVED how tactile all the reunions were! I love it when fictional characters hug it makes me happy

I found it extremely funny that the final boss straight up tells the characters ‘hey, there’s literally no point to fighting me, you’ll gain nothing except closure I guess’ like that’s VERY on the nose and meta for a final boss

The game does have some real ending fatigue though, I don’t think we needed the epilogue

I did like the final boss though - up until that point, I had become so good at using my Dream Team of Rean, Elliot, Machias and Jusis (or Nuke-sis, as I call him, for his insane levels of arts damage output) that everything had got kinda dull for me. But final boss was actually a challenge, I had to think rather than just using the strategy that had worked on everything else

Which was Rean delays, Elliot heals/deals arts damage, Jusis drops arts nukes, and Machias does miscellaneous support/uses his link ability to keep Jusis’s EP topped up

Oh yeah I had them linked through pretty much the whole game and they hated it and it was super funny

So OH MAN, in their linked victory battle ending screen thing, Jusis goes ‘not bad, you actually held your own for once’

And it’s a little muffled, so the first time I heard it I swear I thought Machias responded with ‘you know what you can hold? Your damn top!’ and I dropped my controller. Had to go out of my way to win another battle with a link attack because no, no way-

He

Um

He said ‘tongue’

Anyway, characters!

Rean: Immediately upon starting up the game I found Ride Along Estelle in my DLC inventory and equipped it in the hopes that it would inspire Rean to be a better protagonist. It... kinda worked? I don’t hate him anymore, and I was pretty hyped to learn he was Osbourne’s son

And then Lloyd showed up immediately afterwards and I was like ‘oh wait here’s a protagonist I actually LOVE, nvm bye Rean lol’

Alisa: I literally never use Alisa unless the game makes me lol she was there and I don’t hate her but also I cannot remember a single interesting thing she did. Even during her one bit of plot relevance she was overshadowed by Angelica it’s hilarious that the marketing makes her out to be the deteuragonist 

Elliot: A GOOD BOY who served me incredibly well with his off the charts healing crafts, I can’t believe I started CS1 not liking him much and thinking him useless. I love the little dance he does in his idle animation

Laura: I still like Laura, I wish she was more plot relevant. I don’t feel strongly about her, but she’s always a welcome addition to any scene

Machias: Unpopular opinion probably but I really like him, even if his outfit in this game was awful. So are his alt outfits. Fashion disaster. I bought him contact lenses from a shady highway business man because he looks better without glasses. I made him ludicrously bulky, if he’d just had some kind of taunt craft to protect Jusis (squishy mage) with he’d be a perfect tank

I’m a fan of him in a ‘this is my trash son’ kind of way lol

Emma: Uhhh kinda boring which is impressive since she’s actually important and pseudo-related to Vita and all. Btw I guessed she was a witch in chapter goddamn three of CS1 after reading the folklore book, and I find it extremely wild that it’s either a dragged out, foregone conclusion if you have read the book, OR witches even existing is completely out of nowhere if you haven’t

Jusis: My favourite, because I’m basic. But like, he’s seriously the most interesting of the guys, and I made him Rean’s best friend (only one I got to rank 7 with lol). And his bonding event in Bareahard was so gooood!

I find it incredibly funny that he insists he and Machias aren’t friends because 1. Yes you are and 2. Do you even have any other non-Rean friends, guy? You literally never hang out with anyone else unless it’s plot related

Still low key ship it. Enjoy that Rean does too, apparently. Still reeling over their Trial Chest’s quote

His second S-Craft is ridiculous looking

Fie: Most interesting girl, love how she just doesn’t get flustered ever, funniest character, best girl in the game, what the HELL was that outfit

Gaius: I keep forgetting Gaius exists lol. I don’t dislike him, but he’s not very interesting to me. He’s Zin, or Noel

Millium: Man do I want to know more about Millium. Her whole thing about learning to cry... so sad and SO fascinating. What is the deal with her and Altina?!?

Sara: I hated Sara at the start of CS1. Now I adore her. God she’s just the best. Please let her interact with Schera please please please Falcom

Towa: Cutest! She’s so cute and I still love her and I did her final event even though she is TOO GOOD for Rean! She got to be a captain! I love her!

As for more minor characters - still think Angie’s great, just wish she wasn’t kinda creepy about her love of girls, deeply dislike that the game ship teases her and GEORGE, who I still otherwise find inoffensive but also, you know, male, Alfin is great, Toval is great too and I still can’t get over him being Toby, stop teasing Claire with Rean let there be one woman who isn’t into him please, oh good Sharon’s here and they don’t do that with her and she’s awesome also can’t believe I used to not like her, more Olivier always please, same with Mueller, Celine is Morgana from P5 except better in every conceivable way, Crow :(, all the Ouroboros lot are great as always, and Elise is easily my least favourite character in this franchise and can get in the sun for all I care 

I read a transcript of the drama CD and hey Rean’s dad can also get in the sun for saying that his adopted son isn’t good enough to marry his biological daughter like where do you even start-

I love that I’ve gone from reacting to Ouroboros appearances like ‘oh shit oh no’ to going ‘oh shit it’s these fucking clowns (affectionate) again’

Still love Beryl. Also love Lambert

When they mentioned ‘Mueller’s friend’ I thought it would be Julia and I was so excited and then so disappointed that it was Neithardt who I still don’t like

Elliot’s dad looks ridiculous riding on top of that tank

I loved riding the bike around SO MUCH, even if it took me a while to get a hang of the controls  

Aurelia Le Guin is just Edelgard Fire Emblem, right? And Bardias is Claude? Except I guess this game came first, so like, other way around

Man I loved flying around on the Courageous. Also I FINALLY got a map, all I wanted in CS1 was to see a map of the country 

However, Act 1 was definitely my favourite part - the sequence where the kids have to sneak through the railway lines under the bridge to get to Garrelia is one of my favourite parts of this entire series. I kind of wanted the whole game to just be this group of teenagers trying to lay low and survive a civil war while also travelling and helping out from place to place

I uh... I want JRPG Life is Strange 2

Why is there a snowboarding minigame. I mean, I loved it, but... why is it there?

I still really miss the old battle orbment designs from Sky. The ARCUSs just aren’t as cool :(

I watched the secret Black Records scene on YouTube and I am so happy to finally have an explanation for Rosine, it was really bothering me that she seemed so out of place at a military academy

I’m very very hype to play CS3 based on the spoilers I have for who will be making appearances...

:D

Seriously why is everything in these games azure though just say blue-

[veiraviss]

I don’t really know why I did this. One day I woke up, and somehow... everything I was doing before turned out to be completely pointless... I started listening to some music, I layed in bed for four hours just contemplating. So I thought... why not? I saw a few fanarts with them as ponies... but I would do it differently. So I did. I also came up with an AU. Where they are all slightly more peaceful and happier. Uhh... yeah. I’m thinking about a short comic around this... it kinda would give me interesting solutions that I couldn’t use in my “main” AU... I should most likely rethink this green mare’s fur color... at first it was a good idea, but then when I started learning how probably pony genetics work, and realized that the Crying Child should be either green or orange... because I didn’t want to be too repetitive with this... orange didn’t work at all, but the muted, olive green was better, but then the eyes ehh... 

The most difficult part turned out to be the design of their cutie marks. I kinda had an idea for Mike. In my headcannon he is creative and an artist, but a talented technician at the same time. This is why his cutie mark is a wrench and a paintbrush. Clara (I know not the most creative. You know... “The immortal and the Restless” being an analogy to Aftons’ life theory and all...) was quite simple on the other hand. I wanted her to be completely unrelated to this whole robotics business. She is a caretaker of her own botanic garden in Cloudsdale. That’s why her cutie mark is three tulip bulbs. That are slowly blooming, but not quite yet.

William, Henry and Charlie were the hardest. I literally spent five days on just sketching my ideas and then scratching them. I wanted to emphasize William’s genius in the field of engineering, but also his natural ability to use unicorn magic. The cogwheels were always there, in my imagination, but I didn’t really know where I should put them. At one point I started also researching symbolism of voodoo, necromancy, Celtic or Aztec symbols of rebirth or death... I could always just put there some blood and knife, but that would be stupid. Like. Imagine you live in Equestria. Everyone has that mark on their hip that says exactly their destiny, interests, job or personality, and you come across an individual who has a dagger on their hip. Yyyup. Trustworthy af. I don’t mind if your OCs have edgy cutie marks. I designed a cutie mark for my friend’s ponysona back in 2013 and it was literally a sacrificial dagger piercing a black, broken heart, and it somehow never needed to be changed. It’s your choice, just in my personal opinion this would work as a warning to everypony around and that murderer character would never be able to kill anybody. Also also I believe you are not born with evil intentions in mind. William must have got his cutie mark when he was a filly or a teenager, but he killed many years after that. I kinda wonder... if a pony can lost their cutie mark after committing such atrocity... going back to the main subject... I decided on two gears and a magic wand with a trail of purple magic. And that’s it.

Henry and Charlie took me a little less time, but still. I wanted Henry to have emphasis on creative engineering, his kindness and artistic sensitivity. There were paintbrushes, Celtic symbolism again, because I’m a very boring human being, there were hearts and quills. I almost left him with an ink heart painted with an indigo quill, but it turned out so fucking disgusting in the end, that I just deleted it from my computer entirely with no regrets. I went to eat some pancakes and then I started hearing Henry’s speech from the end of FFPS in my head and I experienced illumination. So basically my idea for Charlie’s cutie mark was a gift. Because she gives life in FNaF2 minigames. But then I decided to take this design and give it to Henry, because he is nice. He wanted to share his creation with the world to make others happy. He gave his daughter a lot of toys he made himself. His destiny is clearly giving. This is why he has three gifts on his hip. Charlie on the other hand became the protector and giver of life and second chance. Her cutie mark is a shield with an opened gift in the middle what represents giving life and protection of the innocent. The crying child and Elizabeth have no cutie marks, because they died before they had a chance of getting one, so... F in the chat for them I suppose...

So that’s the story... about how I spent way too much time on one drawing I tried to make just for fun and relax... I feel a little better mentally... I guess... when I decided to come back to being a brony after my six years of absence in the MLP fandom so yeah... long post.

[girloikawa]

carry on youtuber au

baz starts out as a cover artist, occasionally posting his own songs (he does violin stuff too)

but eventually he gets recognition and people are like “who is this person?????” so baz does a few q&as

oh BUT THEN he reveals that he also has so many other interests (books, movies, planting, coffee, Controversal Topics) that people want him to do other types of videos

and that is what starts baz on the long road of his channel basically being an everything bagel where he does a bit of everything and people find it very chill

agatha and baz become friends over their mutual love of gossip in the community (as long as they’re not apart of it)

(because baz and agatha and simon and penny aren’t problematic)

which brings me to agatha, she’s one of those channels that keep everyone updated on the drama and the shitty stuff that happens on YouTube as long as regular media

very opinionated, this gal is, so she shares her opinion on...everything

though, sometimes she’ll do a q&a and do her makeup and talk about fashion or what she’s into at the moment

she’s basically angelika oles

penny’s a booktuber!!!

she mostly reads and reviews fantasy books, as they are her favorite, but she’ll also do those videos where it’s like “i just read a shitty wattpad romance story, let me rant” or “my top ten favorite ya pairings” or “tier ranking every harry potter character because life has no meaning”

now, simon, the babe, he’s (and you cannot fight me on this) basically jenna marbles

his videos are so random and spurratic, he doesn’t even plan what his next video is, and he’s the youtuber

i would also like to point out that simon probably totally has adhd and would talk about it and his experience with it

his most popular videos are of him baking. he’s like (and hear me out) very good and very bad at it. like, all throughout the videos, everybody’s holding their breath’s like “oh no this is going to turn out terribly” because simon being in the kitchen is like a horse babysitting a dog, it’s a mess, however the end product is always perfect and amazing and by the end everybody’s drooling behind their screens

simon is also widely conceived as the weirdest straight guy ever. like people (from just looking at him) think he’s just So Striaght but a very Cool Straight Guy who people wouldn’t actually mind being around

simon has the most subscribers (the majority being that they find him funny and see him as a friend, the minority being people who think he’s Hot As Hell and okay yeah he’s a good person too but have you seen those freckles-)

then it’s baz because he actually started first and his following has been a journey, then agatha (she’s the newest, and her subscriber rate is growing rapidly), then penny (booktube is a small community sad face)

penny n simon are irl best friends and penny was the one who convinced simon to make a channel bc he needed something to help let out his energy, “plus it’s a little fun hobby”

snowbaz now :)

simon has followed baz from pretty much the beginning. he saw his cringy covers, his development as a songwriter, and the walls built around baz crumble over the camera

baz...well, he’s one of those people who think simon is Hot As Hell, but he also genuinely enjoys the videos. at first, baz was like “I’m not watching him, everybody watches him, and I’m different” so he always avoided the recommendations youtube gave him of simon’s videos (but it was also bc he didn’t want to confront that he was very attracted to simon)

and then, one fateful night, agatha sent baz a link to a video called “coming out” and under the link she wrote “youtube angel!”—that’s their nickname for simon—“shocking the world!”

baz click click clicked because hot guy is lgbt+????? and baz watched the video, commenting “proud of you” or something along those lines, and then he watched so, so many more of simon’s videos

simon, a boy who just came out as bisexual, just had his youtube hero comment on his video where he came out and is like !!!!!!

simon’s sexual awakening is baz

also, simon breaks the internet with that video, because he isn’t striaght and that’s so mind-boggling to everybody. but there’s always that one group of people who are like “i saw this coming. do you not remember that one time simon showed his socks and his jeans were cuffed-”

simon replies to baz’s comment and is like “oh my god thank you so much. you’re like my actual favorite youtuber” like a fucking Nut and people see that and say “omg collab” because they’re both relatively high status youtubers and their collab would be Powerful

then, summoning all his courage, simon dms baz on instagram with just a simple “hey, a lot of people are saying we should collab lmao”

“i’ve seen that” “heh uhm yeah” “maybe we could get to know each other and see if that would be a good idea” “yes! i’d love that”

and they do. they get really close and stuff,, but people don’t exactly...see that

you see, on twitter, they get in millions of arguments. people genuinely think that they hate each other to some extent, when in reality, they’re swooning at the sight of the three dot bubble

baz, on twitter: “you cannot tell me that people actually enjoy sparkling water. it’s trash, move on” (they had an argument over it, privately, and baz is making it public to cause a rise out of simon bc he finds angry simon cute)

simon, in response: “yo I’m throwing you in the trash as we speak. fuhhhck u”

so, when they collab for the first time, everybody at home is just like *shocked pikachu emoji* they end up doing a video where simon bakes baz’s mom’s recipe of cherry scones with baz. it’s kind of a big deal bc both simon and baz don’t want to ruin baz’s memory of his mother

in the end, baz tears up and gives si a big ass hug because they’re perfect, simon. i love them, thank you. the fans start shipping. hard. it’s simon’s highest viewed video

that surprise hug is also what makes simon realize that his feelings are much deeper than attraction and surface level forms of knowing someone

on baz’s channel, they were going to film a video where they talked about their experiences being queer, but then simon realized that his biggest, most prominent example was staring at baz’s jawline, so he had to be like “uhhh, actually, I’m not really comfortable with that yet” which is part true. instead, they do a video where they have argumentative discussions, like on twitter but in depth and with less insults

anyways, they receive pretty positive feedback on the videos, people enjoy them, so they decide to do more. also, they both live in LA, so it’s actually pretty easy to do them, plus they have a diverse area to do them in

also, i think it’d be nice to mention that simon will sometimes do twitch streams of him playing minecraft and then he puts edited versions on his channel. it’s worth mentioning because during this one stream, he ends up slipping up and saying “we talk a lot, actually. and i—i like him a lot” about baz, then he blushes like hell because i really just said that and it’s live oh god

all the while, baz and simon actually just start hanging out (without hiding behind wanting to do a video). one meet-up, they go to disney world and halfway through baz is like “uh, should we be filming this?” and simon gives him a smile and replies, “no” because that moment is for them and them only + the fans who see them together and ask for a picture/just take pictures of them being like a couple

their next collab is a bit of a fun one. behind the scenes, pen, ag, si, and baz all become friends, because of that one time baz came over while penny was there and he barely payed attention to simon, too busy talking to penny. anyways, they do a big four person collab where agatha basically teaches them how to do makeup

on penny’s channel, it’s book related. they have to do a look based on the synopsis’ of each other’s favorite books. baz gets simon, simon gets agatha, agatha gets penny, penny gets baz. baz: “snow, you’re holding it wrong. it’s like this” simon: *stares longingly at the brush that gets to touch baz’s face*

on agatha’s, the video is just titled Teaching My Friends To Do Makeup (ft. idiots who test my patience). they all suck. majorly. well, by all, i mean simon and penny suck at makeup

on baz’s, they do a trivia of sorts. if they get a question wrong, they have to skip a product. simon: “oh thank god less work” agatha, deadpanning: “i think i might kill him”

on simon’s, they have agatha and penny go against simon and agatha. si and pen being the ones who have to actually do makeup because, according to agatha, “since you decided to bitch so much, you guys are doing our makeup” “but-!” “nope, I’m Peak Brains of us all so I call the shots” “you’re not even-” “shut up” Everybody (and by everybody i mean the fans) is actually glad that they got to see simon doing baz’s makeup, because it’s literally them just being so flustered the whole time

the collab stuns everybody bc: “they’re all friends??????” plus, some people start calling them the Four Fucks because at one point penny says “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and most importantly, fuck me” after simon flinged a bunch of eyeshadow on her

okay so agatha and penny are just like: “these idiots need to get together already” because it’s very obvious that they like each other. like the eiffel tower in paris, you can’t miss it. everyone watching the videos also sees it, so you can imagine the comments

during one of si’s live-streams (he’s playing the hunger games minigame on minecraft), the chat goes wild because baz pops in. he plans on surprising simon with a picnic (he just thought that they could go into simon’s backyard or the park that’s a few miles away), but it was pretty spur of the moment so he didn’t think about simon doing a stream. and to be honest, simon’s stream was also spur of the moment, so it’s not like he made sure to tell baz about it

“simon! hey, i let myself in!” baz called from the front doorway. the chat is freaking because: “is that baz???” “omg baz has a key to simon’s house!!” “are they dating???” simon kind of just freezes up and starts sputtering as he reads the chat and tries to reply to baz

of course, baz doesn’t understand that simon doesn’t want baz to go into his office/room with his computer, so he does go in and as soon as he sees the livestream he’s like: “oh, uh, I’ll go” and simon unfreezes and goes “no, no, stay, I’ll just be a bit” “do you want me to...leave the room?” “you can watch if you want” (baz wants) “okay, sure” so simon pretty much shows baz how to play minecraft

i never finished this, do i?

[lingdidi]

Hehehe then, dear love counselor berry, what about your mutuals × golcha!!! Just like the cix one you did? 💖💖💖💕💞💖💗💕💞

mY DEAR KEE!!! thank you for sending this hehe i’m sorry it took me so long to get to it but !! finally here it is!! once again........ i................. actually don’t have that many mutuals who stan golcha. i’d say it’s only you and isa,,,, so to compensate that it’s only two people i will do once again who you are most compatible with and who you are more similar to!

i LOVE being called love counselor i will make myself a business card that says “Love Counselor Berry (20 years of expertise). Contact @lingdidi (tblr) for professional love counseling”.

ANYWAYS here’s a read more for anyone who’s not interested!

KEE ( @inspiricons )

MOST SIMILAR: Bae Seungmin !

I was the most unsure of this choice because in my opinion you’re not that much similar to any member in golcha? I know it’s weird because there’s a lot of members and there should be anyone but it really was really hard to choose esp because many members gave me the same vibe and i felt they didn’t fit with yours! I chose Seungmin because you’re both!! Very sweet !! He gets shy at people calling him cute things or cute in general and so do you yet both of you (secretly or not so secretly) love it and that’s quite endearing ajkdnksjf also the tiny energy you both exude... i’m so sorry seungmin but it makes me want to baby you and protect you even though i am so much aware that you’re both older than me (and for you it’s ok because you wouldn’t mind it and i know but seungmin idk how he’d like being babied HAHA) you both are kinda shy in a cute way and i feel like you would be the kind to like?? sometimes get a bit carried away with your emotions and maybe if you’re upset you’d both have a hard time trying not to be mean without really wanting to and then you’d regret it a lot?? but it’s ok, as always, as long as it’s something you can learn from and improve. also needless to say because of course he’s an idol group member but you both’s dream is related to music so !! that’s really precious and i’m supporting the both of you in that pursue hehe. also i feel like you two are so great and nice and talented yet?? it goes kind of unnoticed amidst the other members and other people :/ but not for mE i love you and seungmin thanks bye

MOST COMPATIBLE: Hong Joochan !

Are you surprised? Probably not asjfnsdjkf You probably know that usually I would equally ship you with Sungyoon or Joochan but to be honest?? Not in a bad way, but while I think wajoo would make the best+sweetest boyfriends out of all of golcha, there’s something colder about Sungyoon (once again, not in a bad way, they’re just different) while Joochan gives me a warmer vibe! It’s weird since Sungyoon is literally... a honeybunny (insert eye emoji here... i can’t bc i’m on pc sjkfndskj) but this sounds cheesy and weird to say but literally honey and sugar are a different type of sweet and to me Joochan is more sugar and somehow I feel that suits you more. There’s something that feels more emotional to me about Joochan and I feel like that?? would be good for you? Also you two not only are opposites according to the zodiac chart but you two are also opposites in some personality/attitude aspects. I don’t know how to explain really well yet at the same time I wouldn’t want to do it here because I feel it’d seem personal JDNJSDKF but yeah !! I think you and Joochan would take really good care of each other but I think especially he would really love and dote on someone like you a lot?? and I think that’d be something very positive for you, to have someone dependable like him that will also find you dependable because he’d trust you and love you blindly. Probably super thoughtful and attentive hehe sjfjdsnksj The only con I can think of right now is that, as proven by the famous donghyun+joochan fight... I feel like when angry or after the fight he’s the type to push you away until he’s calmed down (me too joojoo me too) while you don’t like leaving things unsolved even with a promise of fixing it later because later feels too uncertain. But I’m sure he’d make an effort to take care of things as soon as possible because he knows it’d be a sensitive issue and a big problem for you. Anyways a fight between you two would be veeery hard since you both are pretty chill and pacific in my opinion.

ISA ( @bluedelilah )

MOST SIMILAR: Bong Jaehyun !

YOU GET BONGO because you both are p silly, level: you both sometime ssay some silly (yet funny) stuff that maybe others wouldn’t say so casually or easily just like that one day we were playing the carrot-slicing minigame on wii party and when i was struggling you yelled at me “COME ON!! DO IT LIKE (i won’t say it for the sake of protecting her reputation but she knows what she said and me too and i’m actually laughing so hard right now)” and i went so weak laughing i couldn’t keep playing and i LOST the minigame horribly. Speaking of games! Jaehyun says he doesn’t play games but Donghyun (who would be me in an irl situation) says that he dOES and it reminds me of us hiding that we play ******** and in fact Jaehyun plays Kart Rider and so do you sometimes. You probs know but jaehyun along with the other 99' liners made an official subunit called googoos and that reminds me a lot of us and our squads like mississipi or the chengzeroppars. also I read he's friends with Haknyeon and i found it funny because we thought you'd be good friends with Haknyeon and we even called the lil pig plushie keyring you bought Juhaknyeon because of that KJDNKJFSNDJK also if i'm?? not mistaken?? doesn't he love harry potter too?  he’s either you or your twin flame

MOST COMPATIBLE: Kim Jibeom !

I chose Jibeom straight away because, first reason, everyone says Jibeom is an angel and imo a patient+good man that will worry about you suits you a lot. I feel like he’d worry about you (not in an exaggerated dramatic way but as in, he’d take care about you) not even conscious of his own actions? As in he wouldn’t be like “I’m gonna do anything for you because I love you and I liek you being happy and I’m going to treat you right because I worry a lot and I do things consciously and I put effort knowingly” (even though that too) but it’s mostly because it?? comes natural to him?? he’s a caring person and he’ll be even more caring with you if you were his s/o. also he’s not just an angel but he’s also very funny in a non-overwhelming way so you two can do fun dumb stuff together and at the same time he seems mature enough so he’d be able to look after you well + also know you’re a strong independent woman and you two wouldn’t be depending on each other even though you obvs would love each other a lot and this is 10/10 tbh. I read that he studied chinese for ONE (1) month and I found it really funny because it reminded me of us in high school learning chinese on memrise in front of Wu Yu and showing everyone our incredible dialogue that just went “Hello!” “Hello, how are you?” “I’m okay, and you?” “I’m not okay :(” “Ohh *pat pat on the other’s shoulder* I’m sorry :(” “Thank you :)” and one day we realised we didn’t know how to say “You’re welcome” to complete the dialogue so we ran across the whole hallway to where Wu Yu was and asked him how to say it and he was very reluctant but in the end he did it. Therefore I can see you and Jibeom going all “Hello!” “Hello how are you?” “I’m fine and you-” SBJFDSFJSNJ you two invented chinese i guess Finally Jibeom is also part of the googoos so I think that could symbolise that you could be a best friends couple and that’s really nice

[bd-agent-doppio]

((Some general headcanons for FNaVI!AU (and some of it it's parroting from prior posts but hey):

Animatronic!Doppio

Very nervous and anxious as a whole; often sticking close to Diavolo when the attraction is closed in some manner. Diavolo actually doesn't mind this, often letting him fall asleep cuddled close by.

Often carries a plush of Diavolo during live shows (since the attraction story's main excuse is Diavolo is always busy running the mafia and really can't risk being caught so he must remain hidden)

Falls into the role of right-hand man/errand boy, misinterpreted by the fans as inept/dopey when really he has clever moments every other live showing.

Also misinterpreted as baby; the fucker's actually pretty feral when he's pushed too far. (Much like in canon, lol)

Somehow one of the fan favorites of the attraction.

Often finds lost items and either keeps them for himself or gives them to Diavolo. Since there's no working cameras in the 'boss's office', no one has found this out yet.

<"In-Game Mechanic" Headcanon>: From Night 2 onward, one random object in the office will start ringing; Doppio is attracted to the sound and will head to the office while making that familiar 'dorurururu' noise. (You could tell how close he is by the volume of the sound he makes alone; the more closer he is, the louder it gets.) Find the object and click on it, then click on the leftmost door; the object will be outside the door where Doppio can pick it up. Fail to do so, and Doppio will show up outside your door while making his signature 'dorurururu' noise at a alarmingly loud volume and will not stop until you find the object and give it to him, even in some cases actually entering your office. Unfortunately, this attracts other animatronics to your office as well... (In a UCN-type scenario, he's even worse; fail to find the object in the next 30 seconds when he enters your office, he'll jumpscare you if another animatronic hasn't beat him to it first.)

Animatronic!Diavolo

The true 'antagontist' of the attraction; most of the time during live showings this cunning and devious cheetah is hiding away and sending lackey after lackey after the protagonist group, but when he does make a appearance, it surprises everyone- even the animatronic actors!

Whenever the attraction is closed, the villianous act drops. In reality, he's just very grumpy and anti-social; often wrapped up in a comforter and just watching videos (like harmless cat videos and old performances by other franchises)- he only allows Doppio near him because the two of them understand each other better.

Prefers to keep to the shadows. He's also the reason there isn't a working camera in the 'Boss's Office' area.

As far as animatronic 'villians' go, he gets a pretty high ranking alongside a certain rotten rabbit among fans. (Yes, Fazbear's Fright still exists in this AU)

Also due to Doppio always being so close to him, this sparked a meme amongst fans wherein one plush of each of them is placed together, alongside the caption 'DO NOT SEPARATE THEM!' (sometimes punctuated for emphasis); it's also applied to figures of the duo, as well as bobbleheads, those novelty bookmarks, and... in one case, a pair of mugs?!

<"In-Game Mechanic" Headcanon>: Diavolo goes after the guard as early as Night Two, but really will go after the night guard late in Night 4 onward. The phone will ring, and your best bet is to ignore it; fail to do that, and Diavolo will taunt you over the phone before jumpscaring you. If it goes to voicemail, mute it immediately; if it keeps going, close both doors and the vents- Diavolo can mimic voices and sounds, and this means he's close by, waiting for you to drop your guard. (It's only safe to keep the doors and vent open if the voicemail stops) If the lights go out, you're pretty much fucked; he'll jumpscare you almost immediately- not even trying to drop your guard by playing a music box or singing. (In a UCN-type situation, his tactics are more or less the same- with the addition of mimicking the other sounds the other animatronics make while your tablet is up, meaning you are already dead. Don't pass go. Don't collect $200.)

Animatronic!Solido

The results of a wannabe propmaker trying to emulate the hype to their own haunted house attraction; they were once separate prototypes for Doppio and Diavolo respectively. The propmaker paid very dearly for this- with his life, obviously.

Solido absolutely hates what they've been made into (literally to the point of breaking light fixtures and mirrors to remain unseen) and have become obsessed with making themselves beautiful; often tearing apart people and animatronics to try and affix the severed parts onto themselves. For this very good reason, they've been locked away in storage.

For very good reasons involving memories of a certain requiem stand and its user reasons unknown, Solido is also obsessed with revenge- and their target? The main protagonist of the attraction, of course; whatever merchandise they've 'aquired' (*cough*stolen from the stock room*hack*) of the protagonist and his friends happens to be badly damaged on purpose, almost as to vent their rage while being locked up.

Often steals plushies from the stock rooms to literally tear them apart and sew them back together into plush abominations; one of them being one modeled after themselves. They often dote after these plush monsters like a mother bear does with her cubs.

The storage container that houses them is damaged enough for Solido to escape and come back quickly without notice, and if one were to look inside, they'd quickly realized it's a nightmare of a pigsty that only the animatronic monster can function in; full of broken merchandise, broken mirrors, and monstrous plushies.

<"In-Game Mechanic" Headcanon>: Solido acts as a 'final' boss for nights 5 and 6. They have no gimmicks, no tricks- their sole drive is to get to the office to kill you. Keep track of them and close the doors and vents immediately if they're not able to be located on the cameras; turning on the lights if they are by the door results in a immediate jumpscare. If you hear a 'dorurururu' sound by a closed door, DON'T OPEN IT- they can mimic voices as well, and will use this to their advantage. After Night 6, they cut the power and immediately chase you down in a free-roam style minigame, there are three ways this chase can end...(Worst ending is to fail to tap the spacebar rapidly enough to escape at any point; you get a jumpscare wherein they drag you away, then smash to black. Normal ending is that you escape successfully three times, but to fail reach the storage container to trap them; they end up escaping outside the attraction. Best ending is to reach the storage container in time, and lock Solido back in; they bang against the walls screaming at you to let them out, before finally collapsing to the ground and sobbing. In a UCN-type situation, they appear as a secret animatronic; the lights cut off randomly regardless of power level and you're forced to fix the fusebox in fifteen seconds- any longer and you're dead.)

[blind3dbylight]

FNAF thoughts and timeline pontification

Been on a major FNAF kick lately and god damn it I want to solve this goddamn series. Spoilers abound. I’ll probably edit this post a lot if I think of something or get corrected on anything.

Bite of ‘83 victim/Crying child: I am of the mind that the BV and Michael Afton are one and the same, and that Michael is an android. Using the books as an example, the protagonist Charlie Emily (short for Charlotte) is discovered to be an android created by her father Henry. The real Charlotte Emily died as a very young child to William Afton, causing the relationship between Henry and Afton to fall apart--and Henry to build the Charlie androids before committing suicide. In the games’ canon, this could be the same--William had lost a child, and tells him “I will put you back together”. Literally.

We know this has to be William talking through Plushbear due to the Private Room in Sister Location having a Plushbear with a walkie-talkie by it, and by punching in 1-9-8-3 on the keypad, camera views of the house from FNAF4 appear on the desk monitors (also confirming FNAF4′s minigames took place in 1983).

Finally, there’s the issue of Nightmare Fredbear--if the CC is Michael, then it makes sense that he would draw NF in the Survival Logbook, which is all but confirmed to have been owned by him in-universe (why else would he draw casual bongos and the exotic butters in it, if it wasn’t him?), following a strong theory that Michael Afton is indeed the series’ overarching protagonist operating under pseudonyms (excepting Jeremy Fitzgerald, who WAS a totally different dude).

Elizabeth/Charlie/BV kill order: What makes the most sense to me is that either Elizabeth or Charlie were first to die. Elizabeth has to have died before CC because Plushbear tells the CC “NO! Don’t you remember what you saw?”, implying CC saw Elizabeth get captured by Circus Baby. This also makes sense for Nightmare Fredbear (as well as his black counterpart, the Nightmare) having a toothy abdomen--the CC knows about Baby’s snatching arm that extends from her abdomen. In this case, the CC isn’t a William victim--that was done by the CC’s unnamed brother (I’ll call him Foxybro because of his Foxy mask).

Charlie died sometime after that. We know she went on to inhabit the Puppet from both “Take cake to the children” in FNAF2 ,the Security Puppet minigame in FFPS, and the true ending of that latter game where Cassette Man/Henry outright addresses his daughter while images from those minigames are shown on screen. We know she is dead-set on protecting children because of what she learned while she was the Puppet and how she “gave life” to the original/withered robots by placing their souls into them.

Alternatively, Charlie was the second to die after Elizabeth, as William was beginning his research into Remnant and how it basically acts like soul glue--Charlie was just an unfortunate victim as he went about trying to get research subjects.

FNAF4 regular gameplay: I believe that the regular nights in FNAF4 are taking place in 1993 while Michael is operating under the name “Mike Schmidt”. He’s having recurring nightmares about the mascots, and again I refer to Nightmare Fredbear’s toothy abdomen. He remembers what happened to his sister.

During the night, a low pitched voice can be heard: this is a pitched-down and reversed form of the night 1 phone call from the first game. It’s important to note that Scott didn’t put these Easter eggs into that game for no reason. Why would a young child know about that phone call? Why would he know Bonnie and Chica’s habits of coming in through the left and right respectively if he’d never been in a Freddy’s security office? And then there’s the changing objects to the side of the bed--implying a hospital visit. Michael knows the robots are trying to get to him while he takes the night shift at the FNAF1 location, and the regular gameplay in FNAF4 is the nightmares he’s having when not there. And again, the Survival Logbook is strongly implied to have been owned by Michael Afton, and he drew Nightmare Fredbear in it. He wouldn’t have known what NF looked like if he wasn’t the CC.

Michael being an android: Baby alludes to this in Sister Location, telling him “You won’t die” shortly before he is scooped--and the scooper makes a more metallic impact sound when he is. (This could simply be because Scott generally doesn’t do outright gore in FNAF, Springtrap notwithstanding, but still...)

Of course, the scooper also injects Remnant, as stated in the blueprint of it seen during the Insanity ending of FFPS. Also how he was able to survive Ennard controlling his body, and when he rises after Ennard bails out, he has pinprick eyes just like the robots do. And while he’s on the ground, he is recalling Baby telling him he wouldn’t die just before he rises back up.

Eh...it all points to Michael Afton being an android like Charlie is in the books. There’s no way a normal human could have survived all that.

Michael and William looking similar: Why are the possessed robots so dead set on getting to Michael? They think he looks like his father. Michael himself confirms this in his monologue after completing the Golden Freddy preset on V. Hard: “They didn’t...recognize me at first, but then...they thought I was you.”

Phone Guy also alludes to the robots not being able to recognize adults in the night 4 call of the second game: “Someone may have tampered with their facial recognition systems...we’re not sure. But the characters have been acting very unusual, almost aggressive towards the staff. Uh, they interact with the kids just fine, but whenever they encounter an adult, they just...stare.”

The robots believe Michael is William because they can’t tell the difference between them and no longer trust any adult, and that is a big part of why they are so determined to end him. (In the Toys’ case, they aren’t possessed--they’re just malfunctioning or possibly being manipulated by the Puppet.)

William Afton’s deeds: The robots (missing children) are aware that William used a Spring Bonnie suit (one of the springlock suits) to lure kids into the safe room and kill them out of sight. This is confirmed by FFPS on the third and final round of Fruity Maze, where a man in a Spring Bonnie suit tells the little girl playing the game “He’s not dead...He is over here. Follow me.”

It’s also alluded to in FNAF2 during the night 6 phone call: “Someone used one of the suits. We had a spare in the back--a yellow one--someone used it...now none of ‘em are acting right.”  Although this is meant to be the player’s cue that Golden Freddy is active, we know about the Spring Bonnie suit from FNAF3.

The Missing Children Incident: This has to be the reason the safe rooms were sealed off. Fazbear Entertainment knew the kids had been taken in there, but would rather have saved PR face than own up to anything. So they just sealed off the rooms hoping it wouldn’t happen again. They’re not known for their integrity...

This is alluded to during the Night 5 phone call from FNAF3: “The safe room is reserved for equipment and/or other property not being currently used and is in fact a safety location for employees only. This is not a break room, and should not be considered a place for employees to hide and/or congregate - and under no circumstance should a customer ever be taken into this room and out of the main show area.”

And in the same phone call, it’s confirmed that the Spring Bonnie suit was used: “Management has also been made aware that the spring Bonnie animatronic has been noticeably moved.” The springlock suits had been decommissioned by that point.

In the Nightmare/Night 6 phone call, you are informed that the safe rooms were sealed off due to “budget restrictions”. Yeah, by now we should know that Fazbear Entertainment is not particularly honest, as evidenced by: “Management also requests that this room not be mentioned to family, friends or insurance representatives.“ Again, they knew damn well what happened in the safe room, and chose this rather than properly address the issue. While Phone Guy himself may not have been fully aware of all this, upper management sure as hell was.

This is all very likely why the Toys no longer trusted adults--especially not the Puppet/Charlie, who knows damn well what’s really going on. Phone Guy knows the Puppet is watching: “To be honest, I never liked that puppet thing. It was always...thinking, and it can go anywhere...”

Michael trying to set the children free: It’s heavily implied we are once again playing as Michael in FFPS. If you die to Scrap Baby, she might say “You’re not who I expected to see...”  and when Scraptrap is in the vents, he may remark “You may not recognize me at first, but I assure you...it’s still me.”  Upon killing the player, he can also remark “Bittersweet...but fitting.”

Henry (Cassette Man) also makes remarks about this during the true ending: “Although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that’s not what you want. I have a feeling you are right where you want to be.”  Michael is sticking around, not only so he and the children can finally be released from a decades-long un-life, but to make sure daddy William goes down with them. When Henry and Michael die, they die ready for it.

And if it’s to be believed that Michael is the overarching protagonist, he is following behind his father, attempting to undo his crimes and set the children free--the pink slip received after completing FNAF1 and 2′s custom nights mention “Tampering with the animatronics” as a reason he gets fired.

Finally, if he’s the guard in FNAF3, the implication could be that Michael is the one who tried to burn down Fazbear’s Fright, in an attempt to end his father for good. (It didn’t work.) He did not do this right off the bat because he was busy trying to set the kids free (the minigames) It wasn’t until FFPS where the kids, Michael, and Henry finally were able to rest in peace--except William (Scraptrap), who is outright told he’s going to Hell and not to keep the devil waiting.

Takeaways: Michael Afton is the CC and is remade as an android. Elizabeth died first. We still have Mrs. Afton and Foxybro unaccounted for. William Afton killed the kids to get subjects for Remnant research. Michael is the overarching series protagonist up until FFPS. I still can’t figure out Midnight Motorist. Jeffery Epstein did not kill himself. All your base are belong to us.

[journaloftomfooleryandjapery]

All the TOP 10 OF THE DECADE posts made me want to make one of my own, so here’s my 10 fave games this decade:

Yakuza 0  Shovel Knight  Nier Automata  Metal Gear Rising  Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX Final Fantasy XV   Scott pilgrim vs the world the game Undertale Persona 5  Doom

Danganronpa 2, New Vegas, Touhou Luna Nights, Katana Zero and Mario Odyssey all only barely missed out, and it was a tough decision not to include them. I loved the shit out of those games but thinking it through I decided they were just slightly less loved by me than the above.

Below the cut are some extended thoughts (of varying length) on the games included:

Just CTRL F if you wanna find a specific one

Yakuza 0

Every Yakuza game is delightful and this is definitely the best one, in my opinion. The Yakuza games appeal to me for a lot of reasons: the combat, the story, the variety of activities, the look of it all and the music. I feel like its a very unique game experience with its blend of weird in-depth side activities, serious crime drama, manly man masculine combat friendship melodrama, metal gear-esque convoluted conspiracies and a surprisingly compassionate view of the world it takes place in. 

The combat is what drew me in initially because it just feels good, the feedback of stomping on a dudes face in yakuza is delivered perfectly, and the attacks are brutal, hard and flashy. Its a very solid and satisfying combat system and in 0 its the best it has ever been. The ability to switch between 3 different and equally fun fighting styles on the fly really lets you mix things up and adapt your approach, every style feels fun and useful. If i had to pick a favorite it would be slugger, but its a tough choice, and they are all very viable and FUN.

Yakuza 0 also gets big points for having the best story in the series. The protagonists feel much more interesting in this era, the fights feel more earned in this game than others, the relationships are incredibly touching (I’m almost mad majima didnt stay with makoto) and the substories (and some parts of the main story) are the funniest they’ve ever been. Stuff like the quasi-stealth mission where you have to make sure women don’t see you buying a porn magazine for a child, and the extended scene of kiryu trying to guess the right business manners for a meeting had me laughing so much i was i was almost in physical pain.

The extensive business and host club substories get you tons of extra game content and are good enough to almost be there own game. The other games in the series have extended side activites of varying quality, but i think 0 had a rare case of all of these being, basically, perfect. The team obviously agrees since host club management came back repeatedly, but never as good as it was here.

Being set in the 80s elevates almost everything in the game because of the outfits, money flying out of every enemy you attack, the classic sega games you can play at the arcade (Outrun is so much fun and I’d have never have given it a proper go otherwise) and the disco minigame everyones made a meme out of (that music is so catchy).

As a final note this game has the best boss fights and music in the series, which is a very high standard to surpass when you look at the rest of the series. The dual final boss fights, the recurring boss for kiryu and almost every majima fight are highlights of the entire series for me. 

0 is going to end up being one of the few games I’ll never sell my copy of because i want it available for me to play forever, its a complete delight.

Shovel Knight

This game has been analysed to hell and back, so i wont have much original to say i suppose. Admittedly i did enjoy the first campaign but it didnt completely win me over, plague knights campaign and beyond was what really made this an all time greats for me. It’s one of very few games that gets the NES+SNES platforming appeal 100% right and essentially surpasses most games of the day, with almost perfect pacing, challenge and level design. IT helps that the whole world and story and look is charming as all hell. It’s an easy game to love and the more you play it the more that feels justified. Being PACKED with great content is also a plus. If you liked the first campaign you can just keep going through a set of campaigns about as good that only really rehash some level assets. I would say its one of the best 2D platformers ever for me, if not quite my true number 1.

ALSO JAKE KAUFMAN KNOCKS IT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK

Since i have little else to add to the shovel knight discussion, here’s my ranking/thoughts on each campaign

Plague of shadows. BEST storyline, great levels with a really cool gameplay gimmick, the characters are all cute and the ending really makes me feel for him. both sorry for him at first and then a very real AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW for LOVE

King of cards. king knight is just fun as hell to play as, he doesnt have that many tools but his movement is just crazy fun and i love the flair in all his animations. also has that rad final boss. joustus is ok i guess.

Shovel of hope. uuuuuuh what can i even say about this. its good, and the melancholy dream bits add a lot to the mood of the story. we’ve already analysed this campaign within an inch of its life i dont think i can say anything new. wish we could fight the battletoads on pc.

Specter of torment. still fun and i appreciate the tone change, but i didnt care as much for the characters and the mega man-esque level select doesnt suit shovel knight imo. specter knight has a lot of fun movement options though. mainly i just love GRINDING and the diagonal slash. i dont give a fuck about reize

Nier Automata

I feel a tiny bit ashamed i have so little to say about this considering it is one of the most emotional experiences i have ever had with a story. If i lsten to the final version of weight of the world i still cry just from remembering this game and how it made me feel. i think its one of the greatest narratives of the century but i can barely get across the appeal to anyone who hasnt already played it. its a story about hope, despair and the nature of the human race that never feels like its preachy or pretensious or taking on more than it can handle. it made me feel all kinds of emotions deeply and intensely, it genuinely made me burst into tears about 10 times, maybe more. even putting aside the ggrand narrative, theres so many cool character moments and bits of world building and visual eements and tragic little side stories that you would need a whole book to talk about them all while doing any real justice to them. i loved it so much that im paying £70 to see an orchestra do the soundtrack live. I want to hug and kiss 2b and 9s better. i just love it deeply and i find it hard to explain why it makes me feel that way, but its a dark beautiful and hopeful story where every moment feels earned. the despair of the story giving way to genuine hope with the rest of the world helping you fight for it is such an intensely emotional moment that you could never replicate outside of this kind of story and medium. how the fuck do i explain that to anyone that doesnt already get it. I’m glad this game exists

Metal Gear Rising 

Well, complete tone shift here. Platinum made a lot of great action games in the last decade that all dig into that same itch for DODGE SLOW MOTION BANG BANG BANG alongside great soundtracks, visuals and awesome set piece moments. Just intense, flashy, awesome combat. Picking a favorite of the decade was the hard part, because a platinum game had to be one of my faves of the decade. The closest was transformers, but mgr has a couple of things about it that put it above the rest of the platinum catalog for me.

The story actually works very well at still being metal gear while in the platinum formula, its about the cycle of violence and FINDING YOUR OWN PURPOSE and it works weirdly well. The strangest part is that it feels like a legitimate sequel to metal gear 4 tonally while still being the crazy action game it is

Raiden is just super fun to play as, while I’ll always miss the DODGE SLOWMO in a platinum game parry and zandatsu give a great flow to fights and there’s real exhilaration to parrying a hard chain of attacks and tearing out a bunch of enemies spines at once every time

raiden is also just  a fun protag, it truly allows me to embrace that kind of stereotypical edgy cool anime swordsman he embodies

BEST PLATINUM SOUNDTRACK DO NOT @ ME

Bosses just rule

one of the best final bosses ever, in my opinion? maybe that’s controversial, but armstrong gets an insane amount of characterization and pure PRESENCE out of such a small amount of screen time and the fact he feels like such a perfect rival to raiden so quickly is kind of nuts to me. within about half an hour you are ready for the ultimate final showdown with everything at stake, and then the gameplay 100% delivers on that with a fight that is challenging as hell and just feels climatic and intimidating. its a little thing, but having this dude just smack you around with his hands and almost no fighting skill after a game filled with crazy flippy cyborg ninjas makes him feel TOUGH and the way you finish him off? it just rocks, plain and simple. I don’t think i need to justify slices a massive dudes chest open and ripping out his giant still beating robot heart as the music climaxes and our cool edgy protag literally says WE’RE DONE HERE. truly, it has to be this way.

Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX 

For fast twitchy 2d platformers this barely beat out Katana Zero and Touhou Luna Nights, but i think its just a little better. The skill ceiling on this game is high as hell and once you really get to grips with it, its an experience you cant find anywhere else. its just satisfying as hell to be able to get through the point where you can ZOOM  through these levels by making use of copen’s dash and lock-on and weapons well enough. once you get good enough to get through a hole level without touching the ground, you just cant go back. I liked this enough to get an S rank on almost every level. this game just rules, man.

story, art and music are all great as well. but they pale in importance next to zippy jetpack zoom zoom fun time.

also great for having a cool twist that i genuinely did not see coming at all

Final Fantasy XV   

For context, my experience of FFXV was not the base game so i cannot personally address the concerns of the version at launch, which i hear from others was a total mess! The game has been updated and changed so much that it is probably almost unrecognizable aside from the absolute base aspects of it. The version i am talking about is, as far as we know, the “final” version released right before Episode Ardyn. There was of course an update after this, but it only added DLC compatibility and a few items, so it means very little in the grand scheme. I also played all of the dlc and watched all the periphery material to get the full, messy disjointed experience. it is also worth noting that the only other FF game i have played is the classic title Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball. I feel it important to tell you this before getting into things so that you can have a full idea of the perspective i come at the game from.

This was chosen over Mario Odyssey and someone will probably kill me for that. I just think its a great emotional story that does a fantastic job of making you care for all the characters, and the world feels massive and full of cool stuff to see. It’s my favorite open world game and i love The Boys.  its not the kind of thing i usually play but i think it genuinely had a great story and its a very fun game to just explore and spend time in. ffxv truly understands the emotional bond between The Lads and it is fun to kill big monsters with your party

(they kinda ruin the last cutscene in english, in japanese he says I LOVE YOU GUYS and it makes me cry but in english he goes U GUYS ARE THE BEST which just isnt the same. a small nitpick though. a lot of this game made me cry regardless, its just great at creating an emotional bond)

I admire the insane level of ambition in the visuals and scope, and i bought every dlc for it because it was just that good. the ifrit boss fight and all the giant monsters are just amazingly epic in scale. the “found a cool rock” post is what i truly admire about this game summed up. 

all the ancillary material for the game is great and worth getting into, with the exception of the Comrades multiplayer expansion. Everything else adds depth to the story and the world without being entirely necessary for you to get through the story. the anime and the dlc all really feel worth getting into without being something you have to see to get The Full Experience

the giant monsters are cool

Scott Pilgrim vs the World: The Game

Being from 2010 this game only just makes it in, but it was my favorite beat em up this decade and a source of great nostalgia for me. It had a pretty big impact on music and art tastes in regards to games, and in retrospect this games existence was very much a dream team scenario. Paul Robertson is a great sprite artist who does a lot of good work, Anamanaguchi have gone on to become one of my favorite bands (another winter is still one of their best tracks imo) and at the time this came out i was obsessed with scott pilgrim. That plus the beat em up gameplay makes this kind of a perfect blending of a lot of my specific tastes. Playing this brings me back to the time in my school life that i played it very distinctly, a more comfortable time in my life for sure, and i think the game still stands up excellently. I hope that someday it will get a rerelease so others can enjoy it. I give this another play through every year or so, but i wish id gotten the dlc while it was still available

Doom

ITS VIOLENT ITS FAST ITS FUN ITS METAL

i like this game because of the intense adrenaline rush and violent catharsis it gives me, essentially a constant dopamine rush

fun game good

Undertale

I’m glad i got to this before the massive wave of spoilers and popularity came about. It’s a great story with some fun gameplay, and i think SANS UNDERTALE was one of the best boss fights this decade. Its a shame that for so many new players this experience is going to be ruined by spoilers

Persona 5 

Danganronpa 2 and fallout new vegas were close contenders for this last spot. I actually made a post about my thoughts on this game before https://journaloftomfooleryandjapery.tumblr.com/post/184341270554/nue-is-great-love-his-goofy-design-when-life-will but essentially 

Essentially, its got a great cast of characters, a cool slick look, great monster designs, a fun gameplay loop of collecting monsters and grinding stats while waiting for the next big event, and a surprisingly good story

No idea if royal is any good, but its on a pretty small list of games that i might actually take the time to replay

[cygnahime]

FFX Liveblog Repost 1

I posted this on my DW (cygna_hime FTR), but no one seems to be interested in talking about my FFX Opinions over there today, so I’m reposting it over here. This just gets us to Besaid village. Yeah, I talk a lot.

I'm feeling a yen for cutscenes, so am starting a new save, this one with the original sphere grid and music. I also have a save that's in the endgame sidequest zone, but I'm not feeling blitzball or monster catching at the moment (and I'm never feeling chocobo racing, worst minigame in history that isn't an escort mission). Tidus is very different in the brief time we see him in his element in Zanarkand, where being a sports star has slightly gone to his head (or at least made him think he can flirt). Being perpetually wrong-footed is good for his personality. Although, if I were a national (worldwide? it's not like there's anywhere but Zanarkand) sports star at seventeen, I'd probably have some ego too. When was he allowed to start playing professionally? He has to have been new and shitty at some point. Duggles player with the braids remains super hot. That's just facts. Too bad she's, like, double-fictional. I also still want Bahamut's excellent hoodie. Good fashion choices, although I would wear a shirt under it. So is the sword one of Jecht's old ones, or is it literally a "gift" in that SinJecht has been leaving presents on Auron's doorstep like a cat for the last ten years? Someone fic that, please. It is profoundly hilarious to me that Auron is supposed to be like 30, the more so now that I'm 30 and still have a severe case of babyface. He still looks much more like my dad (age 60-odd) than like me - more hair, but also deeper face lines. Then again, I guess when you're dead you look as old as you feel, in which case I don't want to think about how I'd look. Quantumly uncertain, I suspect. Is she a Literal Child or aged beyond belief? It's both! Still, JRPG ages tho. G-d, I'm older than almost all these characters who still "feel" my age. I mean, part of it is that life-stage-wise I'm somewhat younger than Tidus still (job whomst), which is...pretty depressing...and part of it is that JRPG ages are fundamentally arbitrary, but also, fiction is funny that way. I mean, Tidus, Yuna, and Rikku are believable as teenagers, it's just that when I see them I'm on some level their age and meeting them for the first time. Spiran ecology count: 1 hawk/eagle/seagull thing. It took me a minute to figure out the Al Bhed Compilation Sphere, which I'm not sure I've ever actually used before. I want to know what the Al Bhed at the beginning are saying for once. I'm impressed Tidus knows how to make a fire with flint and tinder. I sure don't. Maybe he was a Zanarkand Scout. It makes pretty much 0 sense that the Al Bhed, an ethnic minority, are confused by the idea of someone not speaking Al Bhed. Especially considering that Rikku speaks Spiran/Common/whatever without even an accent. So does her dad, for that matter, but her brother struggles later to put together a few words. I guess it's a skill only some Al Bhed take up? I presume anyone who goes among Yevonites with any regularity speaks Spiran, even if they pretend not to. It can be a great advantage to be assumed not to understand. Spiran ecology count: a bunch of fish. Tidus's brain carefully elides the fact that in his world no places other than Zanarkand exist. I mean, that's how dreams are: you don't always think about stuff. And of course Jecht shows up to get us on course for the plot. This is much less of a plot device if you think of it as the character having an itinerary for Tidus to follow. Spiran ecology count: a flock of seagulls. aaaand it's my dude Wakka! He knows two things, and they are blitzball and adopting stray teenagers. Well, I guess he's also fairly well up on Yevonite religious doctrine, but that is literally all lies he's going to have to unlearn in the course of the game, so it doesn't count. /gently swims over to pick up the Moon Crest before Tidus has any reason to know it's there or might have any use to him whatsoever. I love the Aurochs, not least because all of them (except Letty) give me free items. I try to keep as many of them as I can on my blitz team. Unfortunately in my other save I had to let Datto go to make room for Nimrook. Can't let other teams have Nimrook. There's an entire post in here about FFX and breathing underwater, which is apparently just a skill that you can learn that then allows you to play a five-minute half of physical activity and being tackled without coming up for air. I have a feeling Wakka and Chappu pushed each other over that cliff a lot. Wakka is probably literally wondering if this is his brother somehow come back with different hair and clothes, on a subconscious level even if he doesn't let himself think it out loud. Tidus is not yet having it. He'll get there. They're both friendly guys. Spiran ecology count: 1 fuckton of coral. Beautiful. "If we give it our all, I can walk away happy." No, Wakka, we are going to win, and I will reset as many times as it takes to make that happen. I wonder what the religious landscape of Spira was like in the pre-Sin days. They presumably had one, or several. It's a people thing. Something animistic, maybe? I mean, presumably fiends and the whole pyrefly situation were still there. Spiran ecology count: 2 cats with weird spine fluff. I want to pet them. Spiran ecology count: 1 dog which I also can't pet. I wonder what the many other statues in the temple are supposed to represent. In my little worldbuilding corner, they were all High Summoners, and the four big statues are just the most famous or recent. Keeps the stonecarvers in business. But I think it's supposed to be that only the four were successful, over a thousand years. That's a little too depressing for me, though. Especially given the number of summoners per year we see kicking around. Three at a time at least, plus more for there to be "rumors" of them disappearing before any of the named ones were missing...Surely it's more likely for one of them to make it through. If you don't turn her away, Dona shows up in Zanarkand shortly after you do. I really love the NPC dialogue. Everyone has their own sentence or two, and they change throughout the game based on plot progression. There's worldbuilding - I love the fact that Besaid is known for its weaving - metaplot, and just all kinds of flavor that make the world feel lived in.

[laplacesdevil]

Snippets from the bbieal comic script

So, as I started to work on this comic, I needed to create a script to make sure I wouldn't get off track nor make it longer than I was capable of completing for the release of BBCR! So i just wanna share some comments + snippets from it under cut. This focuses primarily on the script, rather than the finished product, but i don't mind going over any questions ppl have abt it!

Around the script, Baldi actually had some dialogue where he tends to elongate some words he says, based on smth I noticed in sm of his dialogue. Maybe I'll bring it back smday

The original sketch wasn't formatted how it was, but I edited it! Also because I thought Playtime should be allowed to ramble bc she deserves to. Btw Mommy, Daddy, and Bubby are Substitute Teacher, Principal of the Thing/Vance, and It's a Bully!

Originally, this section didn't have any dialogue, but as I sketched it out, I wanted to add more to it! Also

I so badly wanted to leave this into the comic. SOOOO badly. But I wanted to keep the script a lil semi-serious, so I just left it at Banana

just look at his lil face :3

Originally, Bully AND Arts were gonna be in the detention center together, due to them fighting w each other (Bully stealing Arts' notebook or using a plastic spider on them)

With this in mind, alternatively, Arts was gonna win the battle, and then turn to you, murderous intent, because you had one notebook! What I'm saying is that Arts fucking charges at you while Baldi + Vance duke it out

I was torn between making this part a comic page or a video, but because I didn't really feel like making a page for zoom-ins (that's literally the only reason i think. so sorry), I did a recording instead. I used Baldi's Basics Plus for free-roam, since I felt Baldi's Basics Classic didn't (i believe it doesn't?? Not until BBCR). Alternatively, I was planning on using a Baldi's roblox game for it, but I couldn't find a good one with free-roam. Realizing I could've possibly used one of those RP games in a priv server, but it ain't the same...

I also needed to find a place to put 1st Prize in! When I was plotting this script in my head, I was thinking of Baldi going in different classrooms, and you'd see Arts and/or 1st Prize, and he'd introduce them, but... that felt too lackluster(?) also i'm very biased w playtime so sorry (/lighthearted)

If I were to remake this comic in the future, I'd like to record the video using the free-roam in BBCR, but also Principal would fucking get me for running all around the place. Also hoping i'd be better at editing by then! (man who uses clipchamp)

btw i was so fucking sure 1st prize says he loves you in game. but apparently he doesn't?? that makes me sad. some time i'll go find the program his tts voice is from and make him say yippee

Speaking of the end of this video, there wasn't gonna be a bite sound effect at the end, but I love sound effects. There was going to be a fnaf minigame end transition as well, but I had already gotten enough viruses downloading the music for the video (/lh)

In the alternative route, where Bully + Arts were too busy wrestling for Arts to charge at you, and Vance + Baldi were fighting too, you would've just exited the office and headed to Baldi's office (bc Baldi tells you that you can wait at his office until he's done beating the SHIT out of Vance). 1st Prize would've bumped into you around here!

i'm so normal about transparent, red-shirted men.

Fun fact! This dialogue was actually subject to change, based on how early I finished the comic pages, as I was kinda working tandem, with the script being ahead. I wasn't sure I was gonna finish the friend pages on the same page or not, but if I knew, I would've had Null be like "Oh- you're right on time!"

Here is Null's drafted script! There would've been static around it, just like in the comic. Also Null never apologized here because this was on the "arts didn't go after you" path. Anyways I'm so glad none of us downloaded the game and played it. Right guys. And that if we did download it, we deleted it? Guys? Haha? (man who had spent 4 episodes trying to get to null and failing)

oh yeah he was gonna cover your screen with static, but I wanted to use the banana I always had downloaded. I don't remember why I have it downloaded. please help. Also i wanted to use the gaster fade sound effect

Now, we'll dive a bit into the finished product for this- when I had first written this out, Friend wasn't gonna be fucking around with the comic borders, but then I realized it's extremely in-character for him to do so!

Actually... did you know? There's some instances of comic border symbolism, in this section!

Anyways, that should be all I wanted to go over! Let me know if y'all have questions about the comic itself!

[piermanwalter]

I had a long and realistic dream last night about finding an emulated version of a 90s cult classic video game called “Thief’s Apprentice”. The general atmosphere of the game is incredibly bizarre and similar to other weird 90s games like Eastern Mind: Lost Souls of Tong-Nou, Myst, LSD Dream Emulator, Majora’s Mask, and Paranoiascape. It’s an open-world 3D game with the really chunky prototype low-poly graphics and it is famous for almost every moral choice eventually leading to your death. The plot of the game is about a Master Thief raising three lost boys and teaching them how to steal. Master Thief grows old and one day, tells his sons to travel to a prosperous city called Veilheim and steal as much as they can in order to prove themselves. There is a whole lot of story, characterisation, hidden stuff, and plot twists, but the only real goal of the game is to get as rich as possible and bring as much of it back to your ageing father as you can. If you want, you can leave, pick up some colorful broken glass from the front yard and immediately come back, then Master Thief says he is so disappointed in all of you, and the game ends there.

Some other stuff in the game:

You’d expect the city law enforcement to quickly link the new crime wave with the three corpses held together with metal and neon-bright cloth, but everyone looks just as bad so you don’t even stand out.

The entire country is infected with a flesh-eating mutagenic plague, but it isn’t a big deal. In fact, people without any permanent injuries or deformity are seen with suspicion and prejudice. Kaolin, a friendly but lonely kid with blue hair, is one of them.

For single player mode, the in-story explanation is that you go to Veilheim, another bro goes to the island port town of Malassol, and the other bro goes to the religious capital in the mountains, Gehenna. In multiplayer, there is split-screen so you can have one player as Charming Conman crashing a dinner party and convincing all the guests to leave with him to an even better party, another as Greedy Pickpocket taking personal items from the guests when they enter the streets, and the last as Fleetfooted Housebreaker looting the villa now that everyone’s gone, and it’s Lit as Hell.

The music is either non-existent or really bad ambient electronica.

There is a powerful necromancer doing weird stuff in the wastelands surrounding Veilheim.

The plague only affects vertebrates, so insects and snails are seen as “Perfect Forms” and if you are seen hurting them in public you will get arrested. It’s okay to squish maggots, worms, and mosquitoes and things like that if they are literally eating you, though.

Because most people are decomposing, smelling good is considered an important part of polite society. The starting perfume you have access to is “Four Thieves Vinegar” which actually exists in real life. 

Greedy Pickpocket can rotate the angle of the metal slats on his belly like window blinds to hide objects he swallowed or to quickly unload goods.

The Mayor is the richest person in the city and he has the biggest villa and estate, and most normal playthroughs of the game are focused on getting into it.

There is another villa owned by an agriculture scientist that is an endless maze filled with priceless plants, fountains, and golden sunlight that is impossible to leave unless you find the one random greenhouse with a small statue of the Floating Goddess in the corner and pray to her for so long that you start to float too, then you float out a high opened window and that’s how you escape.

If you get too drunk or injured and pass out in the worst part of town, you may wake up chained to a slave ship on its way to Malassol. You can try to escape, but you must do it within 5 minutes of waking up before the ship gets too far from land and you drown trying to swim back. You can choose to stay aboard the ship and try to find your brother in Malassol, but when you reach the island you are immediately forced into a mining minigame that ends when you die.

You can get join a local election and get elected to public office, whereupon you can start your cushy life of white collar crime.

If you play as Charming Conman, you can marry pretty much everyone.

The game doesn’t have save files or player settings after you start, so if you start playing 3-person multiplayer, you’d better be able to keep it up.

The main square of Veilheim is infested with children with plague-induced broken bones held together with thick layers of gauze and ceramic tiles playing street hockey who will kill anyone that’s shorter than them. Nobody knows where they come from. Do not crouch in front of them or you will be beaten to death. There is a plot event where the Hockey Children completely overrun the entire plaza and judicial district, and the other children are forced to hide on top of huge stone pillars.

There is another plot event when an army of zealots from Gehenna invade Veilheim to purify the city of the plague, and depending on what you do to stop them, such as deliberately getting arrested to inform the city guards, walking way out into the wastelands to tell the Necromancer, sabotaging the army’s supplies yourself, or nothing, vast sections of the city might be destroyed or abandoned.

If you look hard in the Mayor’s records, you can find out that Greedy Pickpocket used to be a foreign princess who refused an arranged marriage with the Mayor’s son so he had her killed. Later, the corpse was revived by the plague, but Pickpocket is so unrecognisably rotten and was raised as a boy for so long that he doesn’t really care.

There is a fetch quest where a group of debutante girlfriends removed their organs to fit into their fashionably tight corsets, but they lost them all by accident. 

You can play the entire game without stealing anything and get rich from legitimate business, but your dad will still be disappointed in you.

The only bro capable of fast travel and teleporting between warp points is, logically, Fleetfooted Housebreaker.

Malassol is a slave/prison colony and Gehenna is obsessed with remaining plague-free to the point of burning anyone with obvious injuries alive, so it’s implied that if you play single-player, your brothers both die.

The Necromancer is actually responsible for the plague and killing him will halt his evil magic, but if you do, the everyone suddenly feels the horrible pain from their injuries and anyone whose bodies can’t function without the magic in the plague dies, including you.

Master Thief is the single oldest living being and it turns out that he and Necromancer used to be so close that when Master Thief got mortally wounded, Necromancer created the plague just to keep him alive, but it got out of hand and here we are today.

Master Thief and Mayor of Veilheim have a secret deal where the Mayor kills people, imbues their corpses with strange magic, and gives them to Master Thief to train. The message “You found 12 AMBER BEADS ... but you can’t possibly carry anything more.” actually teleports the items into the Mayor’s estate. You can find the room if you look hard enough, but it won’t have any significance unless you remember the exact items you couldn’t carry.

It’s implied that Master Thief had an emotional crisis after watching the children murdered by the Mayor being revived as malformed zombies by the Necromancer’s plague, and he sends you to Veilheim to wreck both of their plans as revenge.

Even though the game as a whole is bleak and gruesome, the interactions between the brothers are genuinely cute.

I also dreamed of looking at Thief’s Apprentice Let’s Plays on youtube and finding the “Grand Theft Auto: Veilheim” challenge where you had to steal the Horseless Rockgrease Carriage belonging to an influential nobleman and rampage for as long as possible without getting off. This is challenging because the carriage consumes rockgrease extremely quickly, you can’t refuel without getting off unless the fuel is already in properly-sized tanks, the carriage is extremely valuable so the instant you are seen with it sends the city guards on high alert, and the carriage itself will explode if it hits anything too hard. The world record so far is 16 hours 11 minutes and 41 seconds, done by befriending the nobleman to secretly store enormous quantities of fuel all over his estate and escaping into the wastelands.

There’s also stupid edits comparing Master Thief to Master Chief. 

[xseedgames]

Zwei: The Arges Adventure - Localization Blog #1

AAAAAAHHHHH IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING.

I’ve been working on this game for the better part of a year now, but have been unable to say anything about it for PR reasons – namely, that it wasn’t in a showable state, and we didn’t want to confuse prospective players by having two Zwei games announced but unreleased at the same time. Which is totally reasonable, but AAAAAAAHHHH I’VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS GAME SO BADLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

…Ahem. First off, I guess I should bring you all up to speed, in case you missed the announcement. Falcom’s 2001 PC classic Zwei!! is coming to the Western world via Steam, GOG, and The Humble Store in early 2018, under the name Zwei: The Arges Adventure. Why the name change? Well, because we already released its 2008 sequel, Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection (which was originally called Zwei II: Sky-High Great Adventure in Japan).

That’s right. Localization work wrapped on the sequel first, and now we’re finishing things up with the original.

What are we thinking?!, you must be asking yourselves. Why would we release the sequel first, then go back and release the original? Why wouldn’t we release the original game first? And since we’ve already released the more modern second entry in the series from seven years later, can this earlier effort really hold its own by comparison? 

Well, that’s why I’m so excited. Because Zwei: The Arges Adventure is good. REALLY good. In fact, I dare say it’s my favorite translation I’ve ever worked on to date – yes, even topping Return to PopoloCrois and Corpse Party. And if you’re at all familiar with me (this is Tom, BTW), that statement alone should tell you that Zwei: AA is something special, since PopoloCrois and Corpse Party are… shall we say, perennial favorites of mine. To put it very lightly.

So, yeah. Let’s address those hypothetical questions, shall we?

Why would we release the sequel before the original? Well, two reasons. One, because we can – these games each tell standalone stories, set on different floating continents with different casts of characters. Zwei: AA’s two protagonists, Pipiro and Pokkle, do make a few cameo appearances in Zwei: II, but this is done almost purely for the sake of fanservice (the literal kind, not the naughty kind). When all is said and done, these two games are completely standalone, taking place in the same world but telling very different stories with very different characters and a very different feel. Think of it kind of like the Ys series, but even more episodic (since, Ys Origin aside, Ys has the Adol-as-protagonist connection from one game to the next, whereas Zwei doesn’t even have that!).

The other reason is because of the nature of Zwei: AA’s code. The Japanese version of this game utilized DirectX 5, was formatted strictly for 4:3 resolution with no widescreen options whatsoever, offered a lovely FPS selection of 30 or 15 (seriously!), counted on players to play it with mouse and keyboard over gamepad (it supported gamepads, but… barely), and contained no fewer than six unlockable Windows desktop apps that were loosely tied to yet completely separate from the main game.

This is one of them. And that first screenshot at the beginning of this blog entry is another.

In other words… this is the kind of adaptive coding project that’s been known to give lesser programmers heart attacks. Getting a game like this to even run on a modern Windows machine at all – much less run WELL – was decidedly not a task for the meek. In fact, it’s because of the way this game is coded that we ultimately decided to translate the game in-house rather than working with any fan-translators as we did for Zwei: II, as no two programmers would handle this text the same way – and trying to convert a fan-translated script to a format that would work for us would’ve taken almost as long as translating the game from scratch.

So, yeah. Getting Zwei: II out first was pretty much just done because… erm… it was ready first. And it was always GOING to be ready first. Even with a lengthy QA process and a couple minor delays, it still inevitably got finished long before its predecessor was ready to make its debut.

Fortunately, we hired a veteran programmer to work with us on Zwei: AA… but you’ll never guess who! It wasn’t Sara, since she was busy getting Zwei: II ready at the time (and a fine job she did of it, with one of our smoothest PC launches ever!). But this wasn’t our first time working with the guy we worked with on this project, either. It was, however, our first time working with him to modernize someone else’s game – and he really did perform some miracles for us (and put up with my many, many demands for quality-of-life improvements and feature additions, to boot!).

The man in question? Matt Fielding, of Magnetic Realms. A.k.a. the guy who brought you the game Exile’s End. 

Pictured: Exile’s End. Which is also an awesome game you should play!

And thanks to his technical wizardry, you guys are going to have an astoundingly up-to-date version of Zwei!! on your hands at launch. We’re talking more than just widescreen support here – there’s full in-game integration of the Pet Monitor and other desktop apps, new control functionality for more natural gamepad support across the board, inclusion of the arranged soundtrack from the Japan-only PSP version of the game, additional art and text content not present in any previous version of the game, and much, much more (to be detailed in future blog entries!).

Moving on to the second question I asked, with Zwei: II already out, can Zwei: AA hold its own by comparison?

I think you know what my answer’s going to be, on that one. Zwei: The Arges Adventure is a freaking awesome game with a lot to offer, and differs from its own successor in enough key areas that it can very easily hold its own any day of the week. Hell, you might even like it better than Zwei: II – it’s certainly a very close call for me, but I’d say Zwei: AA gets the slight edge! 

Sure, they’re both dungeon-crawling action RPGs at their core, and they both use food to level-up, even sharing the same food exchange system to discourage grinding. And the two-character party (plus one pet), with one character taking the role of physical attacker while the other slings spells, takes center stage in both titles as well. Plus, both games are set on floating continents in the same world.

That’s a lot of similarities, but they’re all relatively superficial. You could say Zwei: AA is like the 2D answer to Zwei: II’s 3D world, but that would be discounting its snarkier and more tongue-in-cheek storyline (yes, even more than Zwei: II’s!), or the gorgeous and ludicrously colorful hand-drawn backgrounds, or the two games’ very different approaches to pets (you only get one pet in Zwei: AA as opposed to the veritable army of pets featured in Zwei: II, but that one dog or cat [or other?] has significantly more personality and gameplay involvement than its many Zwei: II counterparts), or the huge variety of minigames on offer (all of which have been adapted to play from within the game itself, despite formerly existing only as desktop apps)… and that’s just scratching the surface. In short, although the two games use the same basic template, they represent two very different approaches to game design within the confines of that template.

For me as Zwei: AA’s translator, though, I can’t help but laser-focus right on the game’s dialogue. Protagonist duo Pipiro and Pokkle are without a doubt the best pair to write that somebody like me could ever ask for. Pokkle constantly cracks bad puns (and I do mean constantly!), wears a tail for funsies, and is always hitting on women twice his age.

And Pipiro just has absolutely no filter whatsoever, and is full of so much snark that she’s fit to burst.

Practically every line out of these two is an absolute gem – and that’s to say nothing of the many quirky NPCs surrounding them over the course of their rather lengthy quest (such as the endlessly self-delusional “libertine fatass” that’s funding your adventure, and his extremely no-nonsense maid who gave him that nickname).

I… really can’t stress enough how much fun it was to write for these characters, and how inspired I was to come up with the perfect phrasing for every line. I’m extremely appreciative that we chose to translate the game in-house, as it gave me an opportunity to work much more deeply with this script than I ever could’ve if we’d only been tasked with editing it. As time went on, I found myself revising my work on a daily basis, making small tweaks here and there as new bits of wordplay or better puns popped into my head (much to Matt’s chagrin, I’m sure!). The end result is something that I can stand behind as a faithful interpretation of the game’s mood and intent – an attempt to convey the same degree of lighthearted fun and irreverence present in every line of the Japanese script, but formatted to sound more natural in English, accounting for context, tone, atmosphere, and individual character quirks rather than just hammering out a word-for-word translation.

I’ve never laughed so hard while playing a JRPG before, and I truly hope that when you guys play this one in English, you’ll find its English interpretation just as hilarious as I found its original Japanese to be. That would mean I succeeded at what I set out to do, and would bring me great joy and pride as a localizer!

And please do keep an eye on this Tumblr, as I fully intend to give lots more info about Zwei: The Arges Adventure (and more screenshots showing off lines I’m particularly proud of) in the weeks to come!

Until then, I hope you’re all continuing to enjoy Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection, and… well, I’mma go back to testin’ Zwei: The Arges Adventure now, ‘cause I want this game to be downright perfect when it’s released! And with translation and editing 100% complete, and coding probably somewhere in the 70-80% done range, that release date will be here before you know it…

[mezzopurrloin]

Mezzo Plays Final Fantasy X-2: Part 16

Chapter 5 opens with the Gullwings hanging out on the deck.

The final clash with Vegnagun will be soon, but there are other things to look into before we go. Spira is kind of a mess.

On the bridge, they discuss their plan for action.

In addition to these, there's also the hole in the Bevelle underground, and the one in the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth. All of them should lead to the same place.

Yuna has to decide, again.

However, we're not going for that just yet. There are other things to check out first.

Hoo boy. That's a lot of hotspots. First stop: Besaid. Wakka and Lulu's baby has apparently been born.

Yuna follows him to the temple entrance, where Lulu is waiting.

Aww, cute. Rikku asks if he has a name.

That's a no then.

He's a little apprehensive about the whole thing.

Over on the coast, we find Beclem about to head off. The Youth League has called him back.

The Aurochs throw a blitzball into the air, and it lands at his feet. He doesn't pay it any mind.

On the way back, we meet Wakka again. He was going to say goodbye to Beclem, but he missed his chance.

Rikku gives him some advice that Kimahri told her. Does it mean he has to change his ways?

Not really.

Keepa of the Aurochs is hosting a new minigame here too.

It's a run to the coast, shooting down fiends along the way. If they get too close, they'll attack, and you need to make sure you have enough ammo to bring them down. There are different types of ammo too.

Guess I need a little more practice.

He brings everyone together to introduce the newest village resident.

And everyone reminds him about not having come up with a name.

You already said that. Like literally, that exact line. Maybe his nerves are getting to him.

Things seem to be going well in Besaid, so let's head to Luca.

Blitzball season is here. The Aurochs aren't playing, since they're busy taking care of the new child.

The Gullwings, a blitzball team? Well, Yuna has been working on her diving skills. The first match is against the Guado Glories. I'm kind of surprised they're still around, given their exile from Guadosalam.

The rules are basically the same as X-1. There are now more people per team, and it has a faster pace overall.

It can be pretty confusing, especially with the new overhead view.

This happened a lot.

Yeah, I'm still awful.

Here's what I'm really here for. It's time to rematch Shinra in Sphere Break.

That's a tall order, but I won't back down.

Not again.

Oh, shut up. Thankfully we can retry as many times as we need to. I practiced against some of the other opponents to hone my skills, then tried again.

Eventually, getting a big echo bonus carried me through.

"My goggles fogged up."

Lady Luck is our gambling-themed job, using dice, slots, and card based abilities to perform a bunch of attacks. It's quite powerful, but can backfire if chance isn't on your side.

There's another commotion over at Kilika.

The crowd of people wants to head to the temple to see their families, but the Youth League guard isn't letting them in since he hasn't received orders to. After seeing Yuna, they tell her to order this guy to open the gate, and she does.

Dona watches them go through the Kilika Woods.

At the steps to the temple, they're reunited. The New Yevonites remark on how Yuna's song made them realize how pointless their whole conflict was.

Seems like it.

Dona didn't show up, which leaves Barthello severely disappointed.

But she did send a signal. Barthello leaps right off the staircase at it.

We later find him sitting outside Dona's house, waiting to be forgiven. Well, that's sort of a reunion?

A happy ending? It's hard to say.