#or get the whole mess out and then take pills forever? (<- guy who already takes pills forever) or get an ablation but that still leaves

[vampyroteuthid]

(salpingo-oophor-)hysterectomies should be free and they should check if you want one at your annual physical in case you're too scared to ask

[thisisnotourlasthunt]

Andrew Showing The Foxes His Love Through Actions.

All through “All for the game” we can see how Andrew shows his love through actions. I believe that Andrew does care for his teammates and I know I; m not the only one, so I wrote this. (Also, I will just forget about the choking scene because N*ra did their relationship so badly, like- ugh, that’s for another time)

Tw: Curse words, references to the foxes pasts, punches, vomit, Riko, mentions of scars, mentions of nightmares, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of past self-harm, probably many spelling and grammar mistakes.

Allison.

It happened during a game, the foxes were winning and the other team were getting exasperated because they could not get past the backliners and if they could, Andrew would not let them score.

During the last minutes of the game, a player from the other team made Allison trip on purpose and “accidentally” kicked her.

Everyone else were too far away from them.

Except Andrew.

When the referee called the fault, Andrew was already there, punching the guy resulting in him taking a step back and falling to the ground.

As the referee gave him a yellow card, Andrew extended his arm to help Allison up.

And if he asked Renee how bad the injury was, no one had to know. 

Matt.  

When Matt was visiting his mom during summer vacations, they decided to go shopping, there he found the most adorable hoodies. It was orange on the outside and the inside had a really soft and warm fabric, which was white and had orange paw prints. But the best part was that the hoodie had fox ears.

Matt obviously bought nine of them.

“Disgusting.” Andrew had said, which Matt had obviously expected, so he thought nothing of it.

Everyone wore them, Aaron had given his to Katelyn, except Andrew.

But when winter came, Matt saw Andrew get out of his dorm room with the hoodie on, pulling it tighter against himself when a cold air blast came.

“Not a word.” Andrew deadpanned, pointing at Matt, when he noticed him, before leaving the tower.

Matt smiled the whole day.

Dan.

During one of their dinner bankets, the foxes were placed into pairs and told to socialize with the other teams. The pairs were meticulously design so that ‘the monsters’ (minus Nicky) interacted. This meant every ‘monster’ was placed with an upperclassmen. Andrew got Dan.

So when they Dan were talking to some players from Penn State, the Ravens decided to join.

They began talking sh¡t about Dan’s time as a stripper.

Andrew didn’t say or do a thing, knowing Dan was capable on fighting her own fights, she is the first female captain on Exy, but he does stand to the side, throwing a death glare to them.

But when one of them decide it’s a good idea to slap her in the butt when she is distracted....Andrew intervienes.

He grabs the Raven’s wrist, twisting it before pushing him into a table.

Dan is surprised, to say the least, but she knows that the Raven will get a worst fate if she leaves Andrew like that. 

Calmly, she tells him she is okay and that the Raven didn’t touch her and that he can look and see for himself.

The latter does the trick, Andrew turns his murderous glare at Dan so she turns in place extending her arms showing him that the Raven did nothing to her.

Andrew calms after a while and stands up, glancing at the Raven one more time. 

The rest of the night Andrew does not leave Dan’s side until they head back home. Dan attaches herself to that memory forever. 

Renee.

Renee and Andrew sparred at least once a week, more whenever Andrew was having a bad day.

Such as that moment, Aaron’s trial was just around the corner and Andrew was not having it.

He went to Bee’s twice but it still wasn’t enough, so him and Renee spared.

But today was a specially not good day, Aaron’s lawyer had said that he’d have to speak about what happened that day.

Renee knew that Andrew was far more on his head than n the present so she wasn’t mad when Andrew threw her down to the mat and her hip bumped onto the floor.

For the first time since they spared that day, Renee saw Andrew actually see her.

His eyes were wide, probably surprised of what happened so she reassured him that she was okay and that it didn't hurt much and that she’d had much worse before.

But he didn’t listen to her and got off the mat.

Renee stood up and went for her water bottle, thinking that Andrew had gone to let out some steam alone.

But then he came back with an ice package in hand and gave it to her.

Renee thank him, placed it on her hip and sat near him while he starred to the distance in moral support.

Nicky.

Nicky wasn’t one to get sick often, but when it happened, he really got sick.

So when one day he wakes up with a headache and all of his bones ache, he knows he’s in trouble.

Not wanting anyone to be worried about him, Nicky tries to stand up, just for a blast of nausea hits him and he has to run to the bathroom before he pukes on their bedroom.

When he is done throwing his guts out, he brushes his teeth and walks out to the kitchen for a glass of water. But when he gets there, a water bottle is out with a bottle of Pepto-bismol beside it. 

In the middle of his confusion, Andrew and Aaron appear with a thermometer, a blanket and pills.

“Go lay down,” Andrew says with an uncharacteristically softness in his tone.

Nicky complies and walks towards the couch, Andrew protectively trailing behind him with his phone and a blanket.

“I don’t have any class today, Aaron has two in an hour but then he’ll be back. Tea?” Nicky is perplexed at this attention given by his cousins so he is only able to nod and think who were these people and what did they do with his cousins.

The rest of the day, the twins (mostly Andrew) take his temperature, give him his meds, cook for him and help him out whenever he needs it.

Nicky sleeps with a smile that day.

The next day, he feels much better, but because the sickness messed with his feelings, he has an urge to hug his cousins.

He asks for permission and surprisingly, Andrew says yes.

Nicky keeps the hug fast and makes sure he doesn’t make Andrew feel trapped.

He still cries at the memory. 

Aaron.

Out of all the foxes, Aaron is the one with the most difficult things to study. He is in fact studying pre-med.

So during the finals week, he is the most stressed.

There is this one class in which Aaron has been having the most trouble with and if he doesn’t pass the test, he’ll have to repeat the class. So to say that he was stressed was an understatement.

He begins studying for that class a week and a half before the exam is and the day before the exam, he skips gym, morning practice and afternoon practice.

He studies for the exam the whole day and had to be reminded to take breaks for the bathroom and meals constantly.

He is also forced by Andrew to sleep when he woke up at 3 am and Aaron was still awake, studying.

Aaron keeps thinking of the material as he tries to sleep, and isn’t able to until 4 am, he dreams on the material the whole night.

When he opens his eyes, he sees that the sun is much higher than usual, worried, he checks the time on his phone just for his fears to be true, his alarm didn’t sound and he slept through the whole exam.

He doesn’t even care to change and runs to the building. The door to his classroom is closed and the professor is not there.

“Can’t stop thinking about the exam? Me neither.” He hears one of his classmates say behind him.

“I didn’t even do it.” He says through his teeth.

“What do you mean? I saw you there.”

Aaron is confused so he asks more classmates if they saw him, and all of them said that yes, they saw him there.

Hurriedly he got to the tower and confronted Andrew if it was his doing and if he did the exam for him like they did in high school.

“I did.” was Andrew’s only response before walking out.

Aaron got a B⁺ a grade much better than if he had done it by himself.

Kevin.

After Riko died, his and Andrew’s deal could be done, but they had grown close, they had passed so much time together since Kevin escaped Evermore.

Neither of them would say it out loud, but they were each other’s best friend.

So when Kevin learned that his things would be thrown away from the Nest, he went into a spiral.

But when Andrew asked and Kevin couldn’t say why, Andrew made it his mission to know.

Neil had a few assumptions, but when he had been at the Nest, he had been too focused on his injuries that he wasn’t a good resource.

So Andrew contacted someone he never thought he would be speaking to. Jean.

Jean told Andrew of Kevin’s old bedroom and the things Kevin had to hide away from Riko because if he found them, Kevin would be punished. Yet he didn’t know what these secret things were. 

Thankfully, Jean knew where the hiding spot was.

The next day, Andrew took the Maserati in the early morning without a word (Neil knew but he had to act as if he didn’t), and made his way to Evermore.

Once there, he had to sneak inside, but given that the Nest was desolated for classes it was easy.

When Andrew got to where Jean had told him where the hiding spot was, he found a small shoe box.

Opening it, he found three things and Andrew immediately understood Kevin’s spiraling.

When he got back to the tower, he directly went to his dorm. Inside were Neil, Nicky and Kevin watching a game.

Andrew signaled Neil and the latter made Nicky follow him out.

“Where were you? You missed morning practice,” Kevin said as soon as they were alone.

Without a word, Andrew took the shoebox out of his bag and carefully gave it to Kevin, who took a shaky breath at the sight of it.

As soon as it was in Kevin’s hands, he opened it and carefully took the three things which were the last things he had from his mother.

A woman’s ring, a record player and a photograph. 

Tears immediately sprang from Kevin’s eyes and Andrew decided he would give Kevin his space.

“Thank you,” Kevin said as he opened the door, Andrew just nodded feeling a weird warmness in his chest.

Neil.

Andrew shows Neil his love in so many ways, helping him out during panic attacks, reminding him that he’s safe, holding his hand, kissing him, sharing a cigarette in the roof, stroking his hair when they cuddle and so much more.

But the most important thing Andrew does for Neil is letting the latter see his vulnerability and trust him with it.

It starts with simple things, Andrew letting Neil sleep with him in the same bed, cuddle together, sit on Andrew’s lap (and vice versa), etc.

But it slowly begins to increase, let Neil stay whenever he gets a nightmare and/or a panic attack, let Neil take care of him when he gets sick, let Neil cuddle on top of Andrew, let himself seek comfort in Neil, Andrew letting Neil take his armbands off, see and touch them.

It takes a long time, but Neil doesn’t mind, those little things are more than enough for him and he doesn’t expect more from Andrew, but welcomes this little things and holds onto them with all of him.

Bonus:

Wymack. 

Wymack is always threatening his foxes with running marathons and says that their personal stuff is over his pay rate, but oh doesn’t he care for them.

He works hard for them so they can have good things and safe and comfortable area for them, that’s why he had the walls on the showers made.

He loves the foxes, and they love them too.

One morning, he had to organize some piles of paperwork, but he had a stressing week and the night before he hadn’t been able to sleep good, so after a while of organizing paperwork, he decides he deserves a break.

The foxes are supposed to be in class so he doesn’t expect them until the afternoon. He goes to the lounge and lays down on the couch to “rest his eyes”.

He falls asleep almost instantly.

Andrew had forgotten something on the court after their morning practice so he decided to go now, he had finished his classes and knew that Wymack had to organize some paperwork, he was surprised to see the old man asleep.

Andrew could remember his initial fear of the man when he saw him the first time, he was tall, broad and serious, but he didn’t let it show. He had been waiting for the man to do something to him, but instead the man had respected his boundaries and didn’t ask when Andrew broke into his home in the late night and made himself a pot of hot cocoa (which had been bought for this reason).

So quietly, Andrew went to Wymack’s office and organized his paperwork, marking those who were missing one or two things with a post it and leaving right after he was done, not expecting the man to know it was him.

When Wymack woke up and walked back to his office he was surprised to see that his paperwork was organized. He mentally questioned who it was but when he read the post its he immediately knew it was Andrew, he knew all of his children’s handwritings, and made sure he bought Andrew’s favorite  chocolate ice cream.

Abby. 

Abby was the first one, apart from Bee, to see his scars. 

The first time she had tried to say something but she had seen something in his face because he didn’t and let him place the armbands back on.

After that she looked away when he took them off and just glanced at them for a second to make sure there were no track marks before turning around again so he could put the armbands back on.

(She knew there would not be track marks, so she just looked at them so there would be no new ones, he cared for her foxes.)

And during the physical exam, she made sure not to touch him more than necessary. 

Abby checks on Bee asking if he’s okay, she never expects an in depth answer, just a confirmation and she feels relief when Bee tells her that he is getting better.

On one of his sessions with Bee, she suggests Andrew that he should tell someone about his scars, preferably someone who has already seen them. 

Andrew knows what Bee is trying and Bee knows that Andrew knows and Andrew knows Bee knows that Andrew knows.

In the end, he does tell Abby. He keeps it vague and watches her reaction, waiting for a small expression change, but thankfully Abby just listens, and shows no pity, knowing that Andrew would hate it and does not comment.

When he’s done, she just nods and thanks him for telling her and when Andrew leaves, Abby lets the tears she had retained out.

She keeps the truth guarded with her life, glad Andrew trust her enough to say this.

Bee.

It is not a secret that Andrew sees Bee like his mother figure, out of all the woman in his life she was the only one that he didn’t feel the need to be unlike himself, she loved him just the way he was.

It was scary at first, his mind supplied that it would be just like Cass, he just had to wait for the other shoe to come down.

It never did.

So he found himself driving to her office when he needed to understand something or he was just not in a good mental place.

He would also call her when he didn’t have the energy to move.

She was on one of his sides during Aarons trial, helping him keep his cool when he felt like he needed to punch something.

When it had been his turn to say his testimony, he had looked at her and Neil, remembering that they would be with him and that they would show no pity to him.

So the day before Mother’s day, when him and Neil were shopping for clothes, and he saw a coffee mug in the shape of a bee hive that read “To the Bee-st mom” he had to buy it.

The next day he arrives to her office and leaves the cup before leaving without a word.

It fills Bee’s heart when she reads it but knows best than to comment of it on their next session.

But if she uses it everyday and it becomes her favorite mug, no one has to know.

Look at me posting three days in a row, I’m proud of myself ngl. Anyways, have this, hope you like it, I tried my best and this is honestly the longest “headcanon” I’ve ever written.

[bakugohoex]

Could I request a jean and s/o birthday thingy my birthday is in a few days and since we're in a lockdown again I can't see my family I read a lot of your writings and they're all awesome it would really make me happy if you could write one for me 🙈

“happy birthday, baby”

pairing: jean kirschtein x female reader

cw: modern AU, fluff, implied nsfw and just pure love

word count: 1600+

a/n: happy birthday to you, hope this request can bring some sort of comfort through lockdown, it’s all a mess right now and lockdown has really fucked us over. this is also an emergency request as it’s a birthday one so i thought i’d do this one now and continue on with my normal request order tomorrow

summary: in which it’s your birthday and jean spends the day celebrating with you

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

This man spends the whole night preparing the living room of your apartment

He will literally sneak out from your shared bed leaving a pillow for you to cuddle and start getting everything from his car.

Lockdown had hit you once again and you were unable to celebrate with your family.

Baby had seen how sad you had looked on the phone with your parents and had begun planning everything from there.

Ordering so much crap and making sure it came the next day, he had to usher you to go on a designated walk whilst he shoved everything into his car.

This boy takes multiple trips in the cold with a mask and hoodie on bringing everything up.

So fucking sweet right.

He even has a cake, which he got icing for and wrote happy birthday Y/n.

Be warned the cake looks shit with the red icing.

A horror scene but he tried.

Balloons every fucking where.

He literally had streamers and balloons with your age on them.

This man is too good (how is reader getting so much shit for their birthday and i had to spend mine at home).

He had everything set up for the day, calling your family to set up a call the next day at the designated time.

This man has it all sorted, the pancakes for the morning, the presents for you, hidden behind the sofa and the special dinner he was going to make for you.

This man is just too good for his own good.

Ofc at the end of the day, he’ll treat himself to some dessert and make you feel so fucking loved.

This man would fuck you so good, like baby boy take a chill pill or you’ll get her pregnant.

He don’t care (breeding kink?).

The sound of muttering made you wake up, the early morning sun hit your face but even then, it was cloudy and cold since January was a cold month. You grabbed the other side waiting to see your boyfriend Jean, but he wasn’t there. A soft yawn coming from your face, you checked your phone seeing the gazillion messages, smiling at all the messages.

You got up, wearing Jean’s shirt that warmed you up a lot more than you had expected. Moving to the bathroom, just as you walked back out Jean noticed you about to move into the living space, “woah, woah, woah, where are you going? Get back into the room.”

Jean had pushed you back into the room, “happy birthday Y/n, yeah...have an amazing day, love you.” You mocked after he had dismissed you back into the room.

Hearing shuffling outside, the doors opened, and Jean came in with the pancakes, “happy birthday, baby.” You smiled seeing him with an apron on and a plate of two pancakes.

“Thank you.” You spoke gleefully moving towards him, you kissed his lips softly, tasting the sugar knowing he probably had some out of hunger.

Sitting you on the bed he let you lean against his frame, putting the pancakes on your lap, “why can’t I go into the living room?”

“It’s a surprise, be patient princess.” He kissed the top of your head, you both eating and talking. It felt like a good start to the day and had already made you feel warm and less empty than you had felt the night before.

“You can’t come in until you wear your best clothes and make yourself even prettier.” He gleamed out having already showered and ready to change himself.

You sign doing as your told, it was quick, and you wore the dress Jean had said he’d liked, the long black sleeve dress covered you up and you wore tights due to the extreme weather and knowing how cold the apartment got in the afternoon.

Jean walked back seeing you, he stood in awe at the door, one hand at the top as he leaned forward admiring you, “you look beautiful, baby.”

“You’re being extra nice.” You snicker standing up and going in front of him.

“It’s your birthday, I’m supposed to be nice.” You laugh going on your tippy toes and giving him a soft peck. “Come on.”

He makes you go in front of him, his rough hands on your face covering your eyes, you directed you, making sure you didn’t bang into anything. Before finally you were both in the living room, the balloons and streamers cascaded down the walls. The gold and pinks filled with love and his emotion, “keep them closed.”

Feeling his hands leave your eyes, you kept your eyes shut but could feel the light from outside. “Okay, open them.” He had a cake in his hands, the balloons and lights being such a pretty sight. The place was filled to the brim, you felt engulphed in love and happiness and the wide smile the boy had on his face, he knew you loved it.

“You…you did this on your own.” You spoke tearily, still partially in shock at how much the boy had done for you.

“It was all to see that pretty smile.” He got the matches lightening the candle before showing the cake in full view. It really did look like a scene out of a horror film with the red hearts looking like splodges and the words being smudged, “make a wish.”

He was scared you might hate him for ruing the cake, but you grinned like a school girl who had fallen in love. Blowing out the yellow fame, you made the wish that would make you and Jean bound together forever. He smiled putting the cake down, grabbing your hand to take you to the sofa. “You have to open it in order.” You nodded as he passed the gifts, there were three in total. A small box, a much larger oddly shaped one and a rectangle shaped one, he pointed to the rectangle and you opened it.

Unwrapping the silver wrapping paper and sticking the bow on your boyfriend, his lip twitched upwards before you saw the gift. It was a frame, with the two of you in it, it was sentimental more than anything. It had been three months into your relationship, and he had invited you to his work event where you met a lot of his friends. One of them being Sasha who insisted on taking a photo for you two, it had been your favourite photo since, so candid and in love it was beautiful.

“I love it.” You cooed ready to kiss and hug him, but he stopped you.

“No hugs or kisses until the last present.” You signed rolling your eyes at the boy who passed the oddly shaped gift. You unwrapped it quicker, wanting to hug your boyfriend so much at how amazing the day was going.

You undid it to be met with a figure from your favourite anime, it was a little plushie that you had seen in town. You had sent the plushie to him months ago and here it was in your hands, he had remembered. It was amazing, beautiful even, the little hands and feet. You wanted to cry even more at what you had gotten it meant a lot that the boy had even remembered such a trivial thing like that.

He passed the final gift, his hands seemed shaky, but you ignored it thinking he was cold. After all it was still icy outside and you knew he must’ve had to hide it in his car and wake up in the early hours to even do something like this. You wrapped the last gift, the smallest of the bunch, his shirt moved due to his heavy breaths, he rubbed the sweat on his trousers from his palms. He was nervous if you’d like something like this if you’d accept a gift so personal.

You opened it, seeing a square box, you looked between the box and Jean, before opening it. Inside a gold necklace sat in the middle, the words Jean dangled in the middle. Your heart stopped, it was pretty, the diamonds on each side, the cursive lettering. It was beautiful, “I know it says my name, but there’s a reason for that.” He watched your expression, fearful you’d think him to have that big of an ego, which he did but not to you, “I know I leave on business trips for days and I want you to know I’ll always still be around you.”

His justification warmed your heart even more than the gift had originally, you passed it to the boy, moving your hair to the side. He smiled putting it around your neck before kissing your exposed shoulder. “I love it, I love you.” You whispered in his ear, you kissed him softly before he brought his arms around your waist bringing you a lot closer onto his body.

Your birthday had started out amazing, and it continued on, with a surprise family call whilst Jean made dinner, showing your gifts which your parents adored. To the meal that Jean prepared as you both sat together under multiple candles, it was romantic something you and Jean had missed out on since the first lockdown had occurred. But here you were with your favourite boy having the best birthday ever. He even washed up, letting your relax surrounded by the balloons and streamers. It really was a magical day.

Even afterwards, letting you cuddle up beside him he gave you one last present, and it was one that would make you so loved, so comforted and definitely unable to walk the next day.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @ukaisgratefulwhore @answer-the-sirens @animexholic

[nordens-lejon]

Pervitin and Skis

Sufin oneshot I wrote last night.

During WW2, Timo finds himself in the hospital after an accident. Berwald comes to visit him. Based on a true story.

7 April 1944

Timo had never imagined he’d be grateful to find himself in a hospital. But then again, he’d never expected to find himself spending a week in a snow-filled ditch with one calf reduced to mincemeat. A lumpy hospital bed felt like heaven compared to that. The bed was warm and clean, and he could sleep as much as he wanted. The nurses fed him spoonfuls of broth and mashed potatoes. Small portions, so as not to upset his stomach after two weeks without proper food.

The hospital had given Timo a private room, which had annoyed him at first. He’d been fighting with the other soldiers, so sure it was only fair that he got the same treatment as the humans in the military ward. The doctors said it was an attempt to keep the gossip down, and on some level, Timo understood that. The personification of Finland injured and hospitalized? Oh, the Soviets would have a propaganda field day with that.

Someone knocked. That was odd -- the doctors and nurses were coming in whether he liked it or not. Timo thought it might be the timid new orderly, but it was a tall, thin man in an ill-fitting gray suit, messenger bag at his side. A sickly-looking mustache perched on his upper lip.

“Sve!” Timo tried to sit up, but he got nowhere and it only made his stitches hurt. Sure, Berwald was dressed like he’d lost all vestige of fashion sense, but it was him nonetheless. “Oh, I must look horrid, but I never thought…”

“Shhhhh.” It came out as a sharp hiss, but Berwald quietly crossed the room and pulled a chair to the bedside.

“How did you get in?” Timo whispered. He held out a hand, and Berwald immediately took it. “They don’t want anyone to know I’m here. And aren’t you still technically neutral in the war? What if the Soviets find out that you visited? It’ll look like you’re taking sides.”

“The Soviets won’t find out.” Berwald ran his thumb over the back of Timo’s hand. “I set a trail. They think I’m in Malmo. As for the Finns,” he pulled out a badge and a bundle of documents, “I got papers. They think your boss sent me.” The print of the badge was just big enough for Timo to catch the words Director of Cadaver Gynecology.

“So that’s why you grew this.” Timo wiggled his hand free and reached for the mustache.

“Yeah.” Berwald gently pushed Timo back against the pillows with one big hand.

“It’s hideous. I hate it.”

“Sorry.”

“You needed a disguise, I get that, but holy Martin Luther, please shave that thing as soon as you can and never grow it out again. Maybe you should get a wig next time, because with that thing on your face, I can almost imagine myself turning down a kiss. Almost. Just maybe.”

Berwald’s eye sparkled and he pressed a kiss to Timo’s knuckles.

“Oh, you sap. You’re hopeless.” Timo chuckled in spite of himself.

“I am.”

“Of course you are. So you found out I’m here. Something must’ve leaked. What did you hear? They told me they don’t want the story to blow up. There’s the Soviets, and besides, it could hurt national morale.”

Berwald blinked. “They didn’t tell you? It’s been in the papers.”

“The papers?” Timo felt his stomach drop, and he slumped a little. Oh, if this hurt the Finnish war effort, he’d never live it down. “Perkele. What did they say?”

“That you were with your combat unit in Saami territory. On skis. And you took thirty doses of Pervitin.”

“It was an accident!” The words came out louder than anticipated. Berwald would believe him, of course, but he still felt some urge to defend his honor to the universe. “I’d never even taken Pervitin before!” He’d always been wary of those German-made pep pills. Chemists said they contained methamphetamine. “I only took it because I was so tired I was on the verge of passing out. There were Soviets on our tail! And I meant to take one, not thirty. I’d like to see you-- or anyone -- get one pill out of those tiny little tubes while wearing mittens. So I tried to, y’know, just pour one into my mouth.”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Berwald reached forward and began stroking Timo’s hair.

“And I just, before I knew it, I’d downed the whole tube.” Timo swallowed and took a minute to take a deep breath and enjoy Berwald’s touch. It reminded him of easier, happier times. “Sorry. But please, don’t stop.”

“Mmm. I won’t. But go on.”

“Go on?”

“What happened next?”

“Oh.” Timo paused. “Well, I… I don’t remember much of it. It felt amazing, at first. Ecstatic. Like I’d been born a new man, with more energy than I’d ever had in my life. And then, it got to be too much, I started shaking. I thought I’d blacked out, but it turned out that I’d just kept skiing. I, I think I crashed through a Soviet camp, and they shot at me, but the doctors didn’t find any bullet wounds. Maybe I hallucinated it. But then, I came to my senses, or really, I came down enough to realize that I’d completely lost my unit, and I was all alone in the snowy forest. But there was so much energy in me that I felt compelled to keep going. To find someone. Anyone.”

Berwald’s brow furrowed. “How long had it been at that point?”

Timo shrugged. “I don’t know. A few days.”

“Did you stop to eat or sleep?”

“Sleep. I doubt it. Eat, no. I lost my supply pack.”

“No wonder you’re so thin.” Berwald ran a thumb along Timo’s cheekbones, which had never been visible before. “I don’t like it.”

“Not planning on staying this way, don’t you worry.” Timo managed a smile. He didn’t want to add that his once-portly body weighed only forty-one kilograms upon admission to hospital. That number would only make Berwald worry -- he was too fond of seeing Timo pampered and plump. “Anyway, not too long after that, I stepped on a landmine.”

“A landmine?”

“Yeah.” Timo gestured to his elevated right leg. The cast covered a mess of stitches and surgical pins. “The blast threw me right off my feet, blew out one of my eardrums, and my legs was, well, I remember this awful mess of blood and bone.”

“Christ almighty.”

“Yeah...I guess. I was still so high that I didn’t feel any pain, at least not at first. But I remember lying there in a ditch with my ears ringing. And I thought that this must be the end of my journey. Some hours passed, and nothing happened. So I figured I might live long enough for someone to find me, so I crawled to this sort of, well, dugout, and waited some more. And nobody came. Eventually, the Pervitin wore off enough that I could feel hunger. I could drag myself to a pine tree and I ate some pine buds. A jay landed on my hand, so I ate that too. I ate snow. Sorry,” he added, seeing the horrified look on Berwald’s face.

“Don’t be sorry. I want to know.” There was a pause “And I want to take you home right now and take care of you forever,” Berwald was flushing, as if he’d already said more than he’d intended, “but that, that’s beside the point.”

That was more than enough to warm Timo’s heart. “Maybe you can, if your disguise holds. I don’t think they’re going to let me back to the front.” Inherently, he was ashamed of that. Going back before the end of the war felt like quitting on his people. “There’s talk about sending me to Helsinki. I’m going to need crutches for a while. And physical therapy. But if you can keep up as Director of Cadaver Gynecology, maybe you can stay with me. At least for a little while.”

“Yes, maybe.” Berwald swallowed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

The prospect of Berwald in Helsinki might not take away the shame, Timo realized, but it did make the thought of a long convalescence a lot more bearable. “Thanks, big guy.” Almost suddenly, a wave of exhaustion swept over him. This talking was the most exertion he’d done since he’d been admitted.

“It’s nothing,” Berwald said. Another small pause. “You didn’t finish.”

“Finish what?”

“The story. You stopped with eating snow in a ditch.”

“Oh, right.” Timo fought back a yawn. “I walked.”

“You what?”

“Walked. One night, I could see light through the trees, and I don’t know, I guess I was desperate enough that I got up and dragged myself over to them.”

“With your leg like…” Berwald pointed.

“Well, of course. But I made it to their camp, and I was so beat up, that I think I scared them, the poor humans. They called for an ambulance, and they brought me here.” And that,” this time, Timo couldn’t hold back the yawn, “is how I got myself into this whole embarrassing mess.”

“Embarrassing? Never mind, I should let you sleep.”

“Wait, don’t go!” Timo took Berwald’s wrist. “Not just yet. A few more minutes. And yes, of course it’s embarrassing. All this trouble because I couldn’t pick up a pill.”

Berwald set his jaw and kept silent for a moment. “I can’t say how you should feel, but the story’s earned your people’s admiration”

“Wait, what?” This was so surprising, Timo almost forgot how sick and tired he was. “What do you mean, admiration?”

“You’re still here, aren’t you? Yes, you made a mistake, but you’re still here. Thirty doses of Pervitin and two weeks in the woods would’ve killed lesser men. Men who aren’t as tough as Finns. I mean,” Berwald reached down for his messenger bag. “Plenty of your people have sent you cards and letters. Wishing you well, I’m guessing. Haven’t opened any.”

“Those are letters? What? Where did you get those?” Timo watched as Berwald opened the bag, revealing a heap of envelopes.

“Your public PO box. In Helsinki.”

“Right, forgot I gave you a spare key.” The envelopes were mostly white, with occasional blue and pink mixed in. And there were so many of them. Maybe some of them were admonishing him for his stupidity and carelessness, but if even a few were wishing him an easy recovery, well, it was a small consolation, but he felt better. “Do you think you can open one? Read one to me? Do you remember your Finnish?”

“Of course I remember Finnish.” Berwald cupped Timo’s cheek, then picked an envelope from the top of the pile and tore it open. Inside was a generic get-well card with a picture of teddy bear, but somehow, the mass-produced kitsch made it charming. “How ‘bout you get some rest? I’ll read while you settle down to sleep.”

Oh, wasn’t that right in the money. Timo sank back against the pillows and closed heavy eyelids. Lumpy hospital bed heaven was even better with Berwald by his side.

“Dear Mr. Finland,” Berwald began, “I was shocked to hear news of your accident, but I must say that I have never heard a more remarkable story of survival. That’s truly the Finnish spirit, isn’t it? Carrying on and making do in spite of the odds. You’ve reminded me of...”

Berwald’s voice was lovely and soothing, but that was all he heard before sleep claimed him, heavy, comfortable, and reassuring.

Closing notes: For anyone who’s unfamiliar, Pervitin was an methamphetamine-based performance-enhancing drug that was developed by the Germans, who proceeded to give it out to their troops like it was candy. Timo’s story here is based on that of Aimo Koivunen, a Finnish soldier who accidentally took 30 doses of Pervitin, spent two weeks in the woods, stepped on a landmine and lived to tell the tale. He made a full recovery and lived to the age of 72. You can read Koivunen’s story in his own words here.

[katsidhe]

7.02 final thoughts? (Idk if this one has been requested yet)

7.02 Final Thoughts

*rubs hands* Ah, yes, the episode that got me into SPN. I could talk forever about season 7. 

Fun drinking game: take a shot every time someone makes a different colorful idiom about Sam being insane. Hint: you’ll die, because I counted 25.

(I WONDER WHY Sam didn’t want to tell Bobby or Dean about his active symptoms of psychosis. Truly, a mystery for the ages.)

Even setting Hallucifer aside, this episode highlights so many of the things I high-key LOVE about season 7: the erosion of Sam and Dean’s support network (as tenuous as that already was)—take away Bobby’s house, take away angelic healing, take away the Impala, make them vulnerable and alone and crumbling under the weight of the trauma they’ve accumulated. The broken leg, Sam’s head injury and seizure in the ambulance? Strapped down, badly injured, the fates of their friends uncertain, headed into the belly of the beast? ICONIC. Over the top. Amazing.

It’s a similar kinda thing to Jody’s predicament—sure, she’s capable enough ordinarily, but if you give her surgery and drug her and leave her alone in a hospital with a liver-eating monster on the prowl, the stakes look a lot different, don’t they? I’ve seen this episode approximately one gazillion times but every time I get tense for her.

Quick thoughts on the Leviathans, which have a reputation as an underwhelming SPN villain. Perhaps because of how unsubtle and half-baked they are as metaphor for corporate greed/capitalistic consumption, perhaps because of how their promise of truly terrifying Old Ones, Cthulu-esque devourers, never quite came true (except for a bit in 7.01 and 7.02, yikes!). But honestly I’ve always liked them—I like how their organization and assimilation of knowledge drives the Winchesters deeper underground than even the Apocalypse did; I like how they made the Winchesters’ entire world into something mundanely unsafe and miserable; I like how they showcase the horror of a enemy composed of lockstep drones, the way that Heaven (and Hell, sometimes) tries to be, but never truly manages; I like Dick Roman’s gleeful ravenousness; I like their spooky mouths; hell, I even like the Dick jokes. 

Bobby’s solicitousness towards Dean, and how awkwardly he talks to Sam a little later in the episode, is very emblematic of how bone-deep uncomfortable he is around an honest-to-God mental illness, and, well, around Sam’s issues in general. Which doesn’t make him a bad person, or unsupportive, necessarily. But it’s very evident that he’s got no clue what to say to Sam or how to handle him, that he’s leagues more comfortable dealing with Dean’s problems (as has often been the case regardless of Sam’s mental health).

A related, but separate point: the lengths the show goes to to emphasize “look, Dean’s not okay,” while Sam’s in the middle of a psychotic break… It baffles me a little every time I see this episode, when Bobby walks away from Sam all “yyyyeah I gotta go do some work” and then is immediately all “ok but Dean, how are YOU feeling?” It’d be one thing if Dean weren’t emotionally demonstrative, and if Sam were—if Sam, at this point in the episode, was so obviously struggling to such a painful degree that Bobby wants to make sure Dean’s not overlooking his own reactions. But that’s not really the case. Apart from some flinching, Sam’s been very matter-of-fact about the whole thing so far.

This is our first deep-dive into Sam post-Cage, a full season about he returned. And I love it to pieces, you guys. I love how these inescapable, soul-deep consequences are the inevitable answer to the moral of Sam’s story, where he interred himself with his worst nightmare, forever.

Dean after Hell is clawing for moral high ground. Dean focuses on this bleak kind of virtue, this idea of martyrdom and righteous struggle that eventually unspools and reveals itself to be fundamentally unmoored. He needs some kind of redemption for himself after what he was forced to do in Hell; he needs to own his destiny, and he needs that destiny to be meaningful and good, and he channels his violence outward in that cause.  

Sam does not take any kind of high ground. He hurts... himself. He gnaws inward. No illusions about how “messed up” he is—he sidelines himself before Dean or Bobby can say a single word; he figures he needs to be on top of it, needs to get out ahead of the danger he could represent and reassure his family that he knows he’s a hazard. Sam has learned to repress and downplay and hide his traumas and his freakishness both to avoid feeling stigmatized and to avoid being a burden on the people he loves, especially on his brother. So when Dean reacts with fear (understandable) and anger (less so), Sam takes it in stride.

Hallucifer is probably my favorite thing this show has ever done. I could probably write another thousand words on Hallucifer alone—on how Sam’s using this face for coping, for compartmentalizing; both to hurt himself and to keep himself company, to sort through his pain and arrive at a place where it’s at all tenable for him to exist. 

Sam’s skepticism about professional mental health treatment—his idea that this is a problem he can handle himself, that a doctor would "just stuff [him] full of pills”—is clearly one born of the family mold. This is his dismissive response to Hallucifer!Dean’s accusation that Sam won’t be able to cut it on his own. This denial, this idea that Sam knows he needs to get a handle on this, and therefore that he MUST do it himself, make a science of it, is fascinating. 

On the subject of denial: Hallucifer poses a simple question to Sam: are you sure you got out? And Sam’s NOT sure. Faith that he’s free is yet another maybe-lie that Sam must tell himself with maniacal intensity this season, for the sake of his own sanity, to avoid the voice in his head telling him to shoot himself. 

That Scene in the warehouse. Dean’s advice to Sam is to trust in Dean as the cornerstone of his reality. Asks him to build his whole world on his trust in Dean. What choice does Sam have? Who else can Sam rely on? What else can he do? There is no one else, nothing else. There’s only Dean, or Lucifer. It’s a dichotomy. It’s so CHILLING.

Especially in the context of what we know comes next—7.03, where Dean lies to Sam’s face, murders Amy, and uses Sam’s ~insanity~ to defuse Sam’s (justified) anger. And then, season 8, and 9, and 10, and, y’know what, the entire show. 

Sam drives his thumb into his bleeding hand, and it’s SPN in a nutshell—forever choosing the claustrophobia of the path of slightly less resistance, forever clinging to the misery of a life that’s only just this side of bearable, burying yourself in the toxic fallout because the alternative is unimaginably nightmarish—using the trappings of free will, of defiance, to choose to claw holes in yourself so that someone else won’t. There is no escape.

Dean’s threat of murder-suicide on the phone is so clearly meant to be sympathetic. And yes, on a certain level it absolutely is; and then on another level, it’s, y’know, MURDER-suicide, where Dean’s taking explicit responsibility for and ownership of Sam’s life, even though Sam’s pretty clearly lucid. Dean’s assuming as a matter of course his ability and right to make that decision for Sam. How Dean views and deals with Sam’s instability in season 7 lays major groundwork for Dean’s willingness to let in Gadreel in 9.01.

[old-hyper-super-clover]

Trouble in Devildom Town, Part 3/3

Words: 3.520 words

Approximate reading time: 10~15 minutes

Asmo was visibly enjoying this game, humming as he stood up to leave the building.

He got a little startled as he felt something soft rubbing against his leg.

"A cat...?"

Mustering the feline, Asmo wondered why anybody would implement animals into a game like this.

"So you are one of the traitors."

The clicking sound of a loading weapon echoed through the empty room, and a smirk curled on Asmo's face.

The Avatar of Wrath was standing in the doorframe.

"Satan~" Asmo turned around.

"So sorry for killing your partner... You see, I think she got overwhelmed by my incredible kissing talents...! It's very sad, but not the first time I saw that happening, actually..."

Satan pointed his gun at Asmo's head.

"How did you do this?"

"The traitor shop is fantastic!" Asmo laughed. "Your coins increase over time, and there's so much stuff to buy! They have killing pills that knock you out in less then a minute, all kinds of poisons, and countless shooting weapons too, of course..."

"How did you trick her, I mean."

Another chuckle followed.

"Aaah, yes! It was so dramatic, thank you for making me talk about my great plan! I fooled Beel by looking like Clover, and tricked her with the face of Beel. You can also buy this ability to change your appearance. All you gotta do then is to change your nickname, and BOOM! You're somebody else~! It's a bit weird that your voice doesn't change, however, but MAN I played that smooth regardless!

And how tragic they died, both of them, trying to protect what they love but in the end failing because of love itself..."

He stopped as Satan's face formed a deep frown.

But Asmo gave a chuckle regardless.

"Oh, dear brother, and you actually think you could just shoot me like this? We both know my reflexes are better than yours..."

The blond smirked.

"That may be true, but we also know that I am the smarter one."

A wave of surprise shooting through Asmo, he got startled as the cat that had stayed by his side started climbing his leg.

Of course, he wasn't so dumb to let Satan get the upper hand only because of this, so Asmo reached for his pistol and pulled the trigger the moment he pointed at the doorframe.

His eyes widened as he realised Satan wasn't there anymore.

Not even a second later, several shots went through his back, and as Asmo's dead body landed on the floor, Satan stepped back inside, smiling at Belphegor through the window on the other side of the building.

"Nice teamwork" Belphie grinned, punching a bigger opening into the glass so he could enter the room as well.

Satan picked up the kitten, fondling it with a pleased smile. "Indeed, we did quite well~!"

"... Are you talking to me or to the cat?"

Satan obviously did not feel the need to answer that.

"Come on now" he prompted instead. "We should take their stuff and make a leave. There is nothing more to get here."

  Neither Violet nor Lucifer were moving.

His face still hovering above hers, they kept staring into each others eyes, and if not for the high probability of death looming in the air, the girl would have begged to stay in this moment forever.

"Is there anything you want to say to defend yourself?" Lucifer asked.

The girl swallowed her nervousness.

"... You seem pretty confident in your guess despite only having caught me how I trailed off with my thoughts a little... How can you be so sure you are right about it?"

The demon smiled.

"The shop must be accessible through cognition, anything else would be too obvious in the first place. Traitors would blow their cover way too quickly if not with methods like these..."

"So... Innocents can't be absent-minded for a single moment?"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous..." Lucifer purred. "It is simply that I can tell the difference between you trailing off in thoughts and... the look you were wearing before..."

Violet's eyes widened slightly. He was indeed a hundred percent confident in his guess.

"You can really... Read me that easily...?" she mumbled, biting her lip as she watched a sly grin spread on the demon's face.

"Let us say I have been paying close attention to you, Violet..."

A shiver went through her.

And it only got more intense as his body got even closer, his weight on her causing the edges of the stone underneath her to press inside her back unpleasantly.

"Attention to your behaviour..." Lucifer continued. "To your features... your likings, to your way of thinking..."

He made a little pause, giving off something like a sighing breath.

"... Which is exactly why we are finding ourselves in this peculiar situation right now..."

His one hand found hers, and he intertwined their fingers.

"I know how you think, and maybe the favour is one you can return... Either way, you have advantages as a traitor that I don't even know of..."

"... So both of us don't dare to move, as they know the other will have a perfect reaction to follow immediately" Violet finished his sentence.

Lucifer smiled.

"Exactly... Now, how do we get out of this situation, Violet~? Should we see who in the end has the better predictions, or should we wait until someone finds us, to then shoot either of us...?"

The girl kept staring into his eyes, inspecting them and loosing herself in their pretty colours.

Again, a little smile curled the demon's lips, as suddenly, an urge seemed to take over, as he leaned down to meet his enemy in a kiss.

Both of them didn't dare to move anything but their lips, for what felt like an eternity they kept it at their lips dancing like this.

Slowly, as Lucifer seemingly felt in the need of more, a hand reached her waist, gently brushing her with his thumb.

Violet enjoyed the sensation to the fullest, his taste and his touch, forcing herself to imprint every single detail into her memories.

But as she felt Lucifer's breath getting slightly uneven, Violet panicked after all.

So her hand found his neck in a gentle touch.

The thing was...

Lucifer could not remember her having worn a glove before.

He parted from her in a sweet smooching sound, but his eyes were serious.

And as he looked down at her sorry face, he knew he had lost this game.

Violet pulled her hand away, and immediately Lucifer felt an incredible burn spreading from his neck over his whole skin.

"... Poison...?" he asked in a mumble.

As he stumbled backwards, Violet gave another sorry smile.

"Neurotoxins... Applied near the spine, it inhibits communication between your brain and heart, so your body thinks you are dead..."

"... To then actually kill me by deactivating the function of my heart and lungs..." Lucifer concluded. He looked in pain, holding his chest, but also... he seemed almost proud.

"I see..." his lips curled in a faint smile. "Very clever, I must say..."

He tried reaching for his gun, but the poison had numbed his nervous system already, so his body would soon collapse as if it had no bones to stabilise him whatsoever.

"Really, I'm sorry" Violet mumbled.

Then, she picked up his weapons and vanished in the woods.

  --- meanwhile in the spectator lobby... ---

Ghost Clover was sitting on a building's rooftop, still a little traumatized from the sensation of, well, dying.

Somebody plonked down beside her.

"So they got you, too?"

Clover looked up into a pair of purple eyes.

"Beel... Yeah, Asmo killed me."

Ghost Beel gave a nod. "Me too, I think. Weird that everything feels so real in this game, huh? Even pain and the whole process of dying..."

Clover gave a breathy laugh.

"W-well, yeah... I did not... Expect this... But I guess now I know what dying feels like... Yaaay..."

Her friend chuckled a little.

"How did you die?" he then asked. "I hope it wasn't too painful."

Clover had been staring at him, but as he turned his head to look at her as well, she felt her cheeks getting red again.

"U-u-uhm..." she breathed. "Ah, y-y-you know, it wasn't th-that... special... Or worth mentioning..."

However, Beel looked worried.

"Did Asmo do something cruel? Was he torturing you? If he did, then I will make him pay for that-"

"Nononono" Clover bursted out. "DON'T talk to Asmo about my death..!!"

The demon tilted his head.

"Why not?"

"B-b-b-because..." she panicked, knowing that Asmo would spill ALL the juicy details if he saw just the shred of an opportunity, "just... don't, please..."

He seemed confused, but in the end, Beel gave the blushing mess of a girl a pat on her head.

"Okay, then I won't."

He stood up and reached out a hand.

"Wanna go watch the remaining living ones with me?"

Clover looked up and smiled.

"I'd love to."

  Violet shot the timer a stressed glare.

Nine minutes were left, and for what felt like eternity, she couldn't find anyone.

Then, finally, as she dashed out of the forest, she happened to almost clumsily stumble into Belphegor and Satan.

"Violet!" the youngest brother exclaimed.

"Guys...! What's wrong, where are all the others?"

"Dead" Belphie stated. "Asmo was a traitor and killed Beel and Clover."

Satan pointed at the forest. "And Lucifer? He was with you, wasn't he?"

Violet flinched faintly.

She wasn't so dumb to blow her cover herself by saying something stupid, but she also knew well that Satan would do everything to try and get her to do exactly that.

"He was a traitor..." Violet stated. "After we both were equipped, he got rid of Mammon and tried to kill me afterwards. I just so managed to take him down, though."

Belphie gave a nod.

"That means Levi is the third and only traitor left..."

Violet was humming in agreement.

"I think he might have gone into the forest as well" she said, already turning around to show them the way. "We should go seek him together."

And Belphie was kind of convinced enough to follow...

Whilst Satan got hold of his gun.

"And what tells me that you aren't lying to us?"

Violet stopped abruptly, turning to flinch at the sight.

"Well... There's not really a way to prove myself other than telling you what happened, is it?"

The blond chuckled.

"Not really, but I don't want to risk running into Levi to then find out you lied to us, you know?"

The girl gave a huff.

"So what? Now you plan to... threaten me until the time runs out?"

Satan's smile widened.

"That is exactly what I had in mind, yes. Because if you truly are innocent, you should be fine with this plan, right?"

Violet could only give a shrug.

"Wouldn't that be kind of lame?" she asked.

"Why should it?" Satan hummed. "I find a well-thought victory plan is more satisfying that possibly running into the enemies hands."

And as Violet gave a stressed huff, Belphie tensed up as well.

"Judging from her reaction, she doesn't really seem fine with the idea..."

As Belphie reached for his own weapon, Violet got sick of this charade and went to grab a weapon of her own.

But with to guns pointed at her, she wasn't really allowed to move a single muscle.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" Satan wore a sadistic smile. "Even with your little traitor items, you clearly don't have the upper hand."

Violet was going to respond, but an overly dramatic evil laughter cut through her words.

"All of you, you need to take action more quickly!!"

A voice echoed through the air.

"You are so unsure, so tense...!!"

Finally, Satan and Belphie were able to spot the voice's source behind Violet.

Leviathan was sitting in a tree, staring down at them.

"But a true war demands... ACTION!!"

and he pulled several mini bombs out of his pocket, resting between his fingers, ignited as soon as they were visible.

Violet reacted quickly, because as Levi threw the bombs at his brothers, she tried distancing herself from the demons as much as she could, while also taking hold of the telekinesis stick.

Getting closer to the forest's edge, she hectically activated the stick, pointing it at the innocents in hopes of grabbing one of them.

She actually managed to pull Belphie towards her and off his feet, the demon landing face forward right next to the bombs.

But as she was focussing on running again, only faintly hearing Levi's laugh and the other two shouting in panic, a shot hit her shoulder.

The shock of feeling actual real pain led to her knees give in for a second, so Violet stumbled down next to a tree instead of behind it, as originally planned.

She turned, seeing a pair of green eyes glistening in wrath.

While Belphie had stumbled back onto his feet, trying to distance himself from the bombs that were about to go off at any second, Satan was running towards her.

"Don't think I'll let you escape!!" he screamed, and as he threw himself onto her, he pulled out a knife while in motion, jabbing it directly into her chest when landing.

The hit's impact was huge, not only because he had let himself fall onto her, but also because just when he rushed towards her, the bombs went off, practically pushing the blond off his feet.

However...

Bending over her, Satan's eyes widened.

Dizzy in her pain, Violet glanced up, her hand now sliding off from the knife that she had held to that it pierced right into Satan's stomach.

They looked at each other for a moment.

And weirdly enough, both chuckled a little.

"So... Did you find this game to be 'quite amusing' as well...?" Violet mumbled.

Satan smiled.

"Oh... Don't act as if you didn't."

Then, both collapsed, leaving the stage to the last few left...

 Belphie was lying on the floor after the bombs went off, coughing, but his health bar was still high enough for him to function.

He tried gaining a view over the situation, catching a glimpse of Satan collapsing onto Violet.

Then, Levi jumped off the tree.

"Oh Belphie... I'm sorry it had to come this far..." He stopped mid-walking. "Wait, no, I'm not sorry lololol"

Levi stretched out his arms.

"I mean, look how EPIC this is!!!"

And Levi fell into one of his fanboy attacks, going on about how cool all battles have been, how skillfully he had scouted the situation until surprising the three just now.

Sick of listening to him, Belphegor tried to reach for one of the weapons lying next to him, but to his displease, his arm seemed to have broken when being blown away by the bombs.

And as he tried to grab it with his other hand, Levi had already seen through his plans.

"Nah, leave that be, you can't beat me anyways LOL"

"... Shove your LOLs up your ass" Belphie hissed, pissed that he actually couldn't really do much other than watching him.

"Pff, lol, Belphie it's rare to see you this agitated."

Levi came to a stand in front of his brother.

"Now then... Time to use my traitor points for the ultimate weapon..."

Belphegor, and all the ghost spectators watching the scene, saw as Leviathan started to glow.

And when he stopped glowing...

He was dressed in some kind of female anime protagonist dress.

Belphie stared.

And blurted out in such a laughter that it pulled Levi out of his heroic epic moment of (almost) victory.

"... WhAT??" Levi hissed angrily at the younger brother. "WhY ArE YoU lAUGhinG?! This is the most epic thing I could find in the store!! I even had to go find a special secret item to unlock this!!"

"B-bro..." Belphie pressed out in-between his laughter. "You're... You're wearing a skirt...!!"

Levi's mouth fell open in disbelief.

"Uuuh, yes, but this is THE Seraphina's outfit of the second season of..." He stopped in angered grunts as Belphie wasn't listening at all. "Also, look at the giant SWORD in my hand?!?!"

And he pointed at the ridiculously huge blade he wasn't even able to hold up with one hand.

"Ahahaha... Levi, stop, my belly hurts from laughing...!!"

As Belphie curled in the grass, not able to contain his laughter, Levi has had enough.

He didn't even need to step any closer (because of his effin long sword), and thus he could stab into Belphie's side and rob the last HP he had left.

In great euphoria (despite this anticlimactic kill), the otaku let out a scream of victory, raising his arms and festively announcing the traitors' victory.

He jumped in glee, waiting for all the other players to respawn as the round was over.

But nothing happened.

"... What? What's wrong?" Levi took a look around. "Why is nothing happening? Everyone is dead except for me, right?!"

Suddenly, Levi felt something bumping against his foot.

He looked down and immediately started to scream.

To his feet was nothing more but a golden grenade, a crucifix on it's top.

"WHAT?! NOOO!! NOT THE HOLY HANDGRENAD-"

the moment before it went off and teared Levi apart in an instant, the third-born looked up, realising with even greater fear that Mammon was looking at him, the biggest, most sly grin on his face.

With a flash of holy light, Leviathan's character was erased from the map, not even a corpse left of him.

Now Mammon was the one to step onto the open field.

"Well, well, well... What did I say..."

He screamed into the sky while slowly, his family respawned around him.

"Because I am THE great Mammon, the best detective that NONE of you believed in!!! What do y'all say now, seeing how I won the fucking game?!?! Nyahahahahaha~!

Bow down to me, Mammon, the winner of our very first game of TTT!!!!!"

    In the late evening, everyone has sat down to enjoy some snacks and let the day pass in a comfy, warm mood.

They were in great spirits, chatting about the game, pointing out things they liked, things they could have done better.

"Next time, I will make sure not to trust Satan" Clover stated while snatching away a chip out of the huge bowl that Beel was unconsciously hogging for himself.

"Huh? Why?" the blond looked earnestly irritated.

"Dude, you let me die for a cat launcher."

Satan looked at her, but could only gave a shrug.

"... Well, but it was a CAT launcher. And how was I supposed to know Asmo was waiting around the corner?"

While Clover was sighing, Lucifer gave a little laugh.

"There is indeed a lot of room to improve..." He shot Violet a glance. "And I will make sure to not have myself outplayed next time."

Violet returned the favour in a blushy grin.

Then, Beel spoke up.

"Will there be a next time, though...?"

He pointed at the one person that wasn't in a good mood.

Levi was sitting next to the couches instead of on the couch, wrapped in approximately three blankets, continuously mumbling some petty words of "not fair" to himself.

"Come on, Levi" Asmo huffed. "All of us really enjoyed your game. Why are you pouting over ther-"

Levi immediately jumped up.

"BECAUSE I LOST TO MAMMON!!"

"... Well, you sure did" Belphegor mumbled, and to Levi's anger, most of his brothers suppressed some laughs.

"That's right" Mammon chimed in. "You lost to the 'StupidMammon', Levi. How does that feel, huh? Pretty bad, doesn't it?"

Aaaand he shouldn't have done that.

In a great scream of pure agony, Levi dashed out of the room, and even the human newbies knew that he would stay locked away in his room for the next few days.

"... Well, and there he goes..." Violet gave a sigh. "So I guess we won't play it again after all? When Levi hates it this much?"

"Oh, don't worry" Satan mused. "We'll just force him to play, just like he forced us to play with him today."

"Only fair, I think~!" Asmo agreed.

"Yeah!" A big grin spread on Mammon's face. "Then I'll wreck all of you AGAIN! So don't be sad if all the next wins go to me as well, okay?!"

Silence.

Like, heavy silence.

"I wonder who will win next time~?" Asmo then thought out loud.

"Wha? I just said that I-" Mammon started.

"Now that we all know how the game works, we can make better use of all the mechanisms" Lucifer fell into Mammon's words.

"Yes! And with different roles, people might end up showing unknown potential they couldn't use today!" Clover cheered.

"But I'm still-" Mammon tried to say.

"Ooohh, I'm so hyped for the next time!" Asmo laughed.

And they all kept laughing and talking until the late hours of the night,

Completely ignoring Mammon, who ended up, again, desperately trying to finally make people listen to him...

[angelliev]

Lover Boy - JJ Maybank x OC - Part Four - Tapioca Pearls

Word Count: 2K

Summary: Aria’s jealousy overcomes her emotions and becomes protective over JJ.

Warnings: Smut, cursing & choking

A/N: This is a funny and weird chapter. I didn’t intend for this one to be funny, but I got carried away. Hope you guys enjoy and get a good laugh in. (Not my GIF. Credits to the owner. I don’t own the show or any of the characters.”

Lover Boy Series Masterlist

I have never been so happy as much as I have been for the past month and a half. JJ and I have been seeing each other as much as possible, which is becoming a little difficult due to us wanting to keep our relationship private. Same goes for sex. We’ve been trying to find a place where we wouldn’t be interrupted. As long as I get to spend time with JJ, I’m happy at the end of the day. We’ve learned so much about each other, both in and outside the bedroom, and I’ve never been so happy. I want it to last forever.

Today, Damien had insisted that Rebecca, Jennifer and I get to know each other so we got up super early to take the ferry to go shopping on the mainland. Thankfully, it wasn’t all that bad. I was able to convince Sarah to come with us, thankfully because I didn’t want to spend the day with Jennifer and her best friend Samantha. Thing were going well and it seemed that Rebecca, Samantha and Jennifer were hitting it off. As of now, the three are trying on shoes, while Sarah and I are trying on clothes together. “What do you think of this one?” She asks for my opinion. I glance at the yellow bikini she tried on and nod in approval. “I like it. Yellow is a really good color on you.” “Thanks girly.” She smiles. I remove my top to try on a shirt when Sarah gasped. I whip my head towards her to see her face in utter shock.

“Are those fucking hickeys?” She points to my abdomen. My eyes nearly popped out of my sockets when I look in the mirror to see that my abdomen was indeed completely covered in them. Are you fucking kidding me JJ? I didn’t even notice. I look back at Sarah to see her laughing. “Holy shit! You’ve been pretty busy.” She teases. “Stop laughing and hand me my makeup bag! Oh my god.” I continue to stare at them mortified. She digs through my bag, along with finding my makeup bag, she finds something even more interesting. “Are these fucking birth control pills?” Her mouth is agape. I snatch the items out of here hands.

“Yes! And can we not shout it to the whole world?” I frantically begin to cover the hickeys while she laughs. “I’m sorry, but since when are you having sex?” “Since like last month?” She’s more than surprised. “You’ve been having sex for a month and a half and you haven’t told me?” “I know and I’m sorry, but we promised to each other that we’d keep our relationship private for now.” “Fair enough. Does Charis know?” “Yeah, she kind of found out. She had to pick me up from his place one time.” “Okay I see how it is. So, who is it?” She smiles excited for an answer. “I promised!” “Oh, come on! It’s the least you can do, plus your secret is safe with me.” She winks. I sigh. “It’s JJ.” She just giggles, thinking I’m bluffing, until she realizes I’m not. “Oh, shit you’re serious? Oh my god! You’re hooking up with JJ? As in JJ Maybank? As in John B’s best friend?” She keeps rambling. “Yeah, we sort of hit it off. Things have been great ever since.”

“Oh my god.” She said all of the sudden thinking to herself while I stand there confused. “That was you in there the last night.” She states. “What are you talking about?” I asked clueless. “So, last night I was hanging out with John B, Pope and Kiara at the chateau. We thought we were alone, until we heard some very loud moaning coming from the JJ’s room.” She explains. I just remember what she was talking about.

Last Night…

“Mm, yes JJ! Harder baby!” I let out a loud moan as JJ pounds into me from behind at an animalistic pace. “Oh yeah? You want me to fuck you harder babygirl? Want me to make you cum hard?” He asked while rock music plays in the background. “Yes, baby please!” I plead to his content. “Ask and you shall receive.” He says before grabbing onto me before pounding into me harder than I thought was humanly possible, causing me to scream out in pleasure. “Who fucks you good?” “You JJ!” “Whose dick is fucking your pussy?” He slaps my ass. “Yours JJ!” “Whose pussy does this belong to?” The headboard begins to hit the wall. “You JJ!” “What’s my name?” “JJ!” I scream to the top of my lungs when my orgasm washes over me, causing me to collapse on the bed, he soon falls down beside me after reaching his own high. We lay there for a moment panting. He looks over at me and asks, “Round two?” I smile back at him. “Fuck yeah.”

Present…

“Oh my god. I can’t believe you guys heard that.” I say before sliding down to floor wanting to curl up into a ball and hide away forever. “Yeah me either. We left when you guys started going at it again.” “Oh my god. That is so embarrassing. We thought we had the place to ourselves.” I apologize. “Yea I could hear that, but next time, check to see if there’s anyone home.” She advises. “Deal.” “Who knew? Clean in the streets, dirty in the sheets.” She laughs. “Stop!” I plead.

I was happy to return home after a rather mortifying conversation in the fitting rooms. “We’re going out for a bite to eat. Would you like to join or are you planning on making a scene somewhere else?” Jennifer asked all bitchy, her friend Samantha snickers. Rebecca went back home to her and Damián’s place, so it was just going to be the two of them, and Sarah has to leave for an appointment with the dentist. “Pass.” I didn’t even bother to look up as I went through the mail. I didn’t even notice the sound of the lawnmower running in the backyard as I sipped on my boba and Sarah is filming herself with me in the background, most likely making a TikTok.

“Damn, if he weren’t a pogue, I’d definitely fuck him.” Says Samantha. For a moment we all thought she was talking about Mr. Murray the regular lawnmower, so we were all a little grossed out at first, until we turned our heads to see a shirtless JJ mowing the lawn.

Out of shock, I accidentally suck in too fast, causing a bunch of tapioca pearls to shoot in my mouth, all launching into the back of my throat. In result, the tea that my dumbass hadn’t swallowed beforehand sprays out through my nose and onto the counter. My eyes begin to water as I violently begin to cough attempting to dislodge the tapioca pearls that were making me choke. They finally launch across the counter making everyone jump and shout. “Jesus Christ!” “What the shit!” “Holy fuck!” All can be heard throughout the kitchen. I finally catch my breath and clear my throat. Tears run down my face. “Are you okay?!” Sarah asked concerned.

“Holy shit, can you keep it in your pants?” Jennifer asked out of disgust. “What happened Aria? Did you take those balls a little too deep?” Samantha asked. “Technically they’re tapioca pearls.” Jennifer corrects her. “Fuck you guys and Samantha you can suck on those stupid “balls” for all I care.” I referenced to the tapioca demon balls. “Rather be sucking his.” She nods towards JJ. I finally lose my shit, jealousy overcoming me. I didn’t even think before acting, when I picked up the boba throwing it on her, staining her white top. Everyone gasps. “You fucking bitch!” Screams Samantha.

“Screw you, you god damn horny demon ass ball sucking motherfucker!” “What is your problem?!” Jennifer shouts. “She’s the one with the fucking problem!” I exclaim. “You are so childish! C’mon Samantha, I have an extra shirt in the car. Let’s get out of here.” The two glare daggers at me as they leave, car keys in hand. The door slams on the way out.

“Are you okay?” Asked Sarah. “Yeah I’m fine.” I reply. “Good, cause that shit was hilarious!” She said dying of laughter. I began laughing along with her after realizing just how funny and ridiculous the whole situation was. “Hey a little word of advice. The key to keeping a relationship secret, is to be discreet.” “Ha ha, screw you.” I laugh. “I got that shit on tape.” “I swear to god if you post it, I’ll kill you.” My heart drops to my stomach. “Don’t worry I won’t, but I will show it on your wedding day.” She jokes. “Don’t you have a dentist appointment?” I tried to get her to leave. “Indeed. I’ll see you later. Love you tons and please don’t choke on anymore balls!” She yells before the front door closes. Last time I ever drink boba.

I decide to go outside after cleaning up the mess. JJ has finished up and started putting away the lawnmower. His body is glistening with sweat making him look absolutely irresistible. I approach him with a sinful master plan in my head. He turns to me with a smile on his face ready to say something, but I immediately shut him up when my lips attacked his, taking him by surprise. He kissed back after a few seconds. I decide to take it to the next level, I palm him, resulting in a surprised moan escaping his mouth. “Meet me in the bathroom closest to the kitchen when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.” And I leave at that heading back inside.

As expected, he bursts into the room already removing his shorts and boxers, his member springs out already hard. I’m standing in the shower when he joins me. “What’s this about? Not that I’m complaining.” He asked. “Don’t worry about it. Just fuck me.” “Don’t have to tell me twice.” He picks me up and my legs instinctively wrap around his waist. He waste no time to shove himself into me, giving me little time to adjust, before pounding away. Our bodies begin to feel hot with the combination of the sex and water, our skin begins to turn red, but neither of care. For we’re too busy chasing our orgasms. My nails begin to lightly claw at his back when I start to feel the familiar knot in my stomach. “Fuck, I don’t think I’m going to last long babygirl.” He groans. “Me neither.” I attempt to hold back my orgasm. With that he speeds up, reaching deeper within me and hitting that spot. I finally let go when I started to notice that his thrusts were becoming sloppy. “Fuck!” He exclaimed and ejaculated deep inside me.

After the two of us came down from our highs, we dry off and put our clothes back on. “So, what was that about?” He asked. “Nothing. Just missed you.” I’m too embarrassed to admit that I was jealous and petty, that I lost my shit and became horny. “Babe, you can tell me, you know that right?” He takes my hand. I sigh. “I’m sorry. I was in the kitchen with the girls and Samantha was going on about how she would fuck you and suck you off. I just got so jealous and mad that I couldn’t say anything about it.” I see JJ’s very confused and surprised face. “Hold up, how the hell was that conversation brought to the table?” “Long story short, she was checking you out, I choked on tapioca pearls, then she decided to make a joke about sucking your balls.” “What the hell are tapioca pearls? Sounds like a name for some weird sex toy.” “What? No! They’re made from this starch that come from cassava roots. They’re what you find in boba.” “What’s boba?” “Bubble tea! But that’s beside the point!” “Oh! Kie drinks that shit all the time.” “Enough with the boba!” He just chuckles and plants a small kiss on my nose.

“Calm down sparky. You’re the only one for me. I’ll choke to death on those weird jelly balls before I leave you for someone else.” I laugh at him. “That was surprisingly sweet.” We both laugh together and head to the kitchen. I make him some lunch, which he gladly chows down. Just as I’m paying him cash for his work, Samantha and Jennifer walk in. “What are you guys doing back here? I thought you were going out to eat?” I asked eyeing Samantha as she continued to check out JJ. “We arrived in the parking lot, only to find out we forgot our wallets.” Jennifer explained clearly still annoyed about what happened earlier. I look over at Samantha who returns an annoyed gaze at me.

“What? Planning on throwing another drink at me?” “Don’t tempt me.” She just rolls her eyes before returning her flirtatious gaze towards JJ. “So, when are you free from mowing lawns?” This fucking bitch. If looks could kill, she’d be dead. “Hate to break it to you, but I already have a girlfriend.” “Ditch her. I can give you so much more than her.” I should’ve thrown holy water on her horny demon ass instead. “Hard pass. Not only is my girlfriend the sexiest woman I’ve set eyes on, she’s also the most confident, intelligent, funniest, kindest and adventurous woman I have ever met. I knew I hit the jackpot when I got with her. You see I like to aim high; you missy are rock bottom and there’s no way you’ll ever make it to the top where my girl holds the crown.”

I think my heart just skipped a fucking beat holy shit. Someone call the doctor my heart just stopped, and while you’re at it, get the cops on the phone, my heart has just been stolen, I need to report a robbery. And with that, a now humiliated Samantha and surprised Jennifer leave the house. I didn’t hesitate to jump into his welcoming arms and kiss him with so much passion and happiness. "So, threw your drink on her?” He asked. “Shut up.” “So feisty.” 

[btswishes]

What we were and what we are

One Shot/ Random

A/N: Take it as an emotional dump. I will put a keep readying line since I don’t think anyone would want to read this. XD Have fun anyways if you wish to stay friend. Who knows maybe it could be a Yoongi x Reader , friends to lovers story, idk. 

Word count:   2,535

Playlist recommended for this : Jin-Epiphany   Big Bang- Loser  Big Bang- Blue   at the end you can try BTS- We Are Bulletproof The Eternal

Warnings:  dark, anxiety, talk of trauma , be yourself please

                   ----------------------------------------------------------------------

  The sky was covered with soft cotton candy like clouds, tinted in the colors of the ending day. Oranges, reds, blues, yellows, you name it it was there. The wind was warm and but a whispering tender sensation over your exposed skin. The grass pillowing your body under the roughly placed cover, as your head moved up and down by Yoongi’s breath. Laying onto him felt like a antidepressant pill to you.Time had stopped. He was leaning onto his left arm as you both were looking up at the sky. His free hand from time to time brushing over your hair. 

“Your mom is calling.” he said taking a glance at your lit up phone screen

“Leave it.” you didn’t even use all the breath in your lungs with this sentence. 

“Shouldn’t you pick up tho? I mean she is your mom.” Yoongi’s eyes now focused onto you 

“Nah man, she is probably mad at me for something. My mom or not, good or shitty relationship, no matter how much parents say ‘i understand you’ or ‘i was your age once too’ .It never works, telling them anything ends up being a pain in the ass later. Asking for help when you fuck up is the same.” you tried following a lonely cloud with the corner of your eye

“I guess them not accepting that something is wrong with their kids is a defense mechanism.” 

“That fucks us up tho. Just because they want to lie to themselves to feel better, leaves their kids untreated and undiagnosed ,messing them up. Years of being bullied and not knowing why, can’t study even if they try, can’t be themselves. Such an easy solution, yet such a hard choice to make to take the first step.” you sighed as you spoke out, a bit of disappointment mixed in with your breath. 

“Ha ha ha.” Yoongi laughed under his nose before laying back down 

“The fuck did I say?” you cut him off, thinking the giggle was a bit displaced in this talk

“And when you take the first step? What then? The so called professionals lie to us too, give us chemistry and tell us all will be ok as they turn us into addicts to fake serotonin. Psychologists? The word comes from Greek meaning the study of the soul, yet those assholes look at us as bags of meat that you can stuff with pills. Yet we would do anything to get that drop of calmness, that feeling of being a bit happy for being alive right now. And when the effect passes? You want more and more, pill after pill, pharmacy after pharmacy. What difference is there between us people with anxiety and disorders and drug addicts? The medical degree probably.” 

  You smirked after his last words “ Not all doctors are bad, but you can feel how genuine they are, the rest are health merchants. I don’t think there was a difference in the first place. Drugs, alcohol, smoking fuck it, even sex, man. It’s all to fill that void with dopamine, serotonin and all the bio crap.” 

“Isn’t that chemistry tho?”

“We learned it in biology class so it’s bio to me. Do I look like a professor to you?” you rolled over and flicked his nose earning a ‘yah!’ “Hey.” 

“Wasup?” Yoongi pulled his hand from under his head and spread his arms wide like a star in the vast sky. 

“You know that thing where people ask you, if you saw your younger self in front of you right now and they were having the same feelings as you. What would you do?”

“I don’t know honestly, probably give the little guy a hug and some money ,or buy him something to eat. Someone out there for sure has it shittier than me, but I guess one of my mistakes was to undervalue my own emotions and mental state. Fuck, i got myself in such a hole. When people say ‘after you hit the bottom there is no where more to go but up’ , honestly that is straight up crap and bullshit. Some of us keep clawing and digging fearing that there is more to come. “ 

“Ah.” a memory popped up in your head on it’s own “That shit hole. Yeah, either you lose yourself laying there with bloody fingernails and hands, or you start crawling back up like a bug. You know, the blood is gonna stain the walls so next time you fall you will remember and catch yourself...if you make it that far.” lifting your hand, you covered a bit of the sky with it, noticing the colors around it “What about the times we reach out but no one grabs on?”

“Fuck! Y/N! We were supposed to have a nice walk in the park not a whole ass depressing talk session!” Yoongi hissed out, unlike his words his voice wasn’t angry

“Oh come on, you know that somehow we always end up talking about this shit.We are both broken pieces, but I think that isn’t bad at all.” you felt his breath stop under you for a split second “I feel like that is why we fit so well together.”

“Oh for real?” he asked a bit surprised by your words “I always thought it was because we were both hella toxic.” you swung your hand and hit him in the stomach “OOF!” he folded in half, sending you sitting up “I forgot how aggressive you were too.” Yoongi’s voice was coming from between his teeth.

“I am serious! I feel like we went through our hard times and learned to manage, that is why we can talk about all these things like this.” 

“Makes sense, we were each other’s shoulder. You start falling, I pull on you and the other way around.”

 You noticed the contagious smirk on his face that mirrored onto you almost instantly “We fall together, we crawl back up together. Damn we sound inspirational.”

“I told you! We should make one of those vlog channels where people wake up at 5 am looking like damn models, meditate and finish all their work before 11am.” throwing your body back you fell onto the cover, but Yoongi didn’t join you. He staid sitting, letting you focus on his back as he continued “You know we are losers, right?” 

“The biggest losers out there.” 

  He looked towards the sky letting the wind play with his hair, when suddenly you both burst out laughing. Your voices were so loud the birds flew away. “Yeah, we are.”

“Honestly tho Yoongs. Why did we care so much what people thought of us? I mean sometimes I still do but-”

“Same, same.”

“Don’t cut me off stupid!” you kicked him a bit “As I was saying!” you emphasized on ‘saying’ ,when he pinched your leg in retaliation a couple of times “Body types, dudes, girls, genderfluid or no gender at all. Being cute or stylish, pretty or ugly, was a mad waste of time. The nerd is gonna probably become rich, the ugly people will end up becoming better lookin that those basic Karens. I swear, even with all that bulling and people wanting be to be the top. With or without them the Earth keeps spinning .”

 “Did you just discriminate flat earth people!?” he gasped cartoonish “Y/N, i didn’t know you were this type of person.”

“Yah! You really out here trying to cancel your best friend, Min Yoongi!” 

“You don’t need me to do that, you already do it yourself with the stuff you say.”

“Says you, loser.” your words made him lean onto his elbow next to you, eyes focused on your face as the colors of the sky began fading over your bodies and skin 

“I like that word, loser.” he said “It sounds rude, but at the same time no one calls you that if you aren’t different. Different means unique, special. Who tf would want to be the same as others?”

“That was us too stupid, back then.” Yoongi pocked your cheek a couple of times gently 

“Yeah, but it’s not back then anymore Y/N. It’s now. We grew up. With our jaw and fist clenched we fought and made it here. They shot at us, they threw rocks and called us cowards, weirdos. But we made it through the darkness. After all that we are and will forever be bulletproof.” the sudden rustle of the grass under you two signaled him getting up and spinning, hands to the side. His head leaned back and he looked so happy. Yoongi’s eyes were closed, he could fall and not even notice, but he wasn’t afraid no more. Whatever happens will happen. 

“You make us sound hella dope man. I love it.”

“Anxiety, social issues, any kind of mental problems and disorders. They level us up, as long as we try. At the end of the day you lose something to win something.”

“The end of the chapter is the beginning of the next.” you began to notice he was starting to lose balance from all that spinning around “Hey stupid, you will fall and hurt yourself like th-” you couldn’t even finish the sentence when his legs tangled up and he fell onto you “You ok?!That was such a stupid move! Open your eyes next time!”

“Why?” he became serious, his eyes looking into yours. Yoongi crooked his head to the side,as his fingers caressed your cheek “If I was looking I would have been too afraid to fall. At the end of it all i ended up failing and found a little angel. See? Win win to me. You can’t always see where you are going, but you gotta believe that good things are on the other side.”

“You are bleeding, that is what is on this side.”

“I am WHAT!” his forehead was a bit scratched “Damn it! My handsome face!”

“Oh come on! Wait till I glow up like that! I will get the best looking SO out there.” the child in you was pouting at Yoongi

“You know damn well we are too messed up for a relationship with others. We try and try, get used and then we either lose interest, or fall completely out of love for months. By the way...” his fingers found your cheek again, but this time it wasn’t a gentle poke but a sharp pinch. Your hands flew in the direction of his arm to try and make him let go of you. “Who told you you don’t look good?”

“Ow ow Yoongi! Let me go!!!”

“Not until you tell me who said all that crap to you!?” prying yourself from his grip you continued rubbing the now red and warm spot

“People i liked or others in general. You know how shit goes.” 

“You for real need to get your eyes checked! People stare at you when you walk by cus you look TOO good.” his words were like a low growl of a jealous pet

“Nah man, they are either judging me or they want to fight me. There is no middle ground here.” 

“You really!” with all the power in his hand he flicked your forehead 

“Stop inflicting me wounds!”

“Then stop talking shit about yourself! I swear your bodydismorphia needs to join Jimin when he has talk sessions about his day with Hoseok.Plus, people do stare at you when you walk in town in the attracted way. On our way here at least 5 people turned back and continued looking.”

“Ew creepy!” you said “Why do you count them!”

“You little!!!Come here!” your neck found itself in a chokehold in a matter of seconds 

“HYUNG!”Jungkook’s voice echoed through the park reaching your direction “Y/N AND YOONGI ARE BEING THE DEPRESSED AND FLIRTY AGAIN!”

 “This kid I swear I will kill him some time soon!” you hissed at Jungkook

“You two really can’t drop this habit.” the slow and calm footsteps pulled your attention and soon subsided your anger 

“Joon, you know how we are.” you added, leaning back onto you elbows 

“I know, we are all like that.” Joon looked at you two sitting on the ground

“Y/N is right, broken pieces do find each other.” Yoongi added, but Joon sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He squatted down eye level 

“Broken pieces find each other because they fit together and make a beautiful new bottle that they can fill up with happy memories. Our sad and hard pasts make us titanium that can’t be broken. Even if one of us cracks, we are all going to help him become stronger.” he reached his hand out, standing up “ You are not alone Y/N, we are going to be forever titanium. You have us and we have you now. We are not lonely or misérables with you.”

“WE ARE BULLETPROOF GUYS!” Jungkook yelled out again

“Yeah...we are.” with a smile shining brighter than ever ,you grabbed Joon’s hand.He pulled you up as you were holding onto Yoongi. When the chain starts no one can cut the bond. We pull each other up...is what you realized. 

“Oh and.”

“Yes Joons?” 

“Can you two date already or at least go out on a date. It hurts looking at yall like this.”

“What!?” the blanket in your hand turned into weapon as you began hitting him with it in a moment of panic. His words hit a nerve.Yoongi wasn’t the one to rush or to run. With his hands in his pockets he followed you down the hill. His footsteps stopped for a moment to look at the now dark sky. 

 We may not be able to see the stars during the day, but at night they are too many to even count. Nothing is truly hidden forever, even who you are meant to be. It’s ok not to know now or later. When we are young we dont really know. We try to fit in a mold that was created, but we can’t, we just can’t no matter how much we try.

 We end up being labeled by the things we are different. Some come from a darker past, others don’t. Yet everyone is important, the way they feel, their emotions and inner state. If I could, I would grab your hand and show you a bit of the future. Think of this, your future self, the one that did it all finally and continues to dream big, is looking at you through memories. They grab your hand and push you forward towards the good. The tunnel may be dark, cold, lonesome and scary but it always leads to something. Just don’t give up.

  Regret, unsuccessful love, residual feelings for someone who used you. They are all a stepping stone, don’t look at them. Now you know what not to do, EXP( experience points)  come in many forms honey. Be who you want to be, life is yours. Be the main character in your story, not anyone else’s. Even if you fall sometimes, show everyone how amazing you are by standing up. Baby steps turn into miles, whispers become yelling, crawling becomes flying. Breaking the mold becomes you. 

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 90

Warnings: none 

Tagging @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @tragiclyhip​, @alievans007​

“I have a serious bone to pick with you,” Riley scolds, thousands of miles away in her dorm room at Colorado State. Clad in a black and green plaid hunting jacket that’s miles too big on her petite frame, vibrant red hair tucked up into a ‘trucker style’ ball cap. “Why did I have to find out about this from Douchey McDouche Face?”

Despite there being a near fourteen year age difference between them and no blood ties whatsoever, their relationship has always been strong; even with the familial drama and the miles that have continuously kept them separated. Esme can vividly remember meeting her for the first time; a then three year old gazing up at her -all of seventeen- with pure adoration and idolization. That cute little ginger with her massive green eyes and her already fiery personality; drawn to Esme and her then tomboyish style and her penchant -despite her own small stature- for full contact sports.  She can even recall how good it had felt; having someone that DID look at her that way.

For years she'd been practically invisible; the last child between her mother and father, treated as if there’d been simply no love left to bestow on her after piling it on five boys. Her father had been her only source of real affection; the only person who’d ever showed pride in her achievements and never dragged her down for her choices or belittled her passions and interests. When he died, everything went to shit. While her mother’s   toxicity increased and she kicked the emotional abuse up several notches, her brothers had all tried -in their obnoxious and overbearing ways- to step up and take their father’s place in her life. They’d all failed, causing her to become uncharacteristically sullen and withdrawn; prone to cutting when the depressions and feelings of inadequacy hit especially hard and her mother no longer hide her rapidly growing hatred for her only daughter. Life had been pretty dark; many moments where she thought the world would be a better place without her in it and she’d actually been in possession of handfuls of pills and had the desire -and the chance- to end the suffering.

Then ‘The Sarge’ had come along. Filling that fatherly role without expecting or demanding it; letting her call the shots and make the moves when it came to accepting him into her life. And he’d ‘shown up’ in ways her mother and brothers never bothered; quietly and lovingly, showing interest in her life and valuing her opinions and thoughts and getting involved in the things she enjoyed. She was no longer the only one on the wrestling squad or the lacrosse team or at swim meets without someone there to support her. Sarge would always be there; sitting in the front row, enthusiastically cheering her on and nudging other parents with his elbow while proudly declaring “that’s MY girl!”.

And just when she thought things couldn’t possibly get better, they did.  Sarge was granted full custody of his only child; her mother choosing her career over that adorable redhead. Despite their age difference, she and Riley had become inseparable. Happily and willingly taking the little girl to the movies or the mall; listening to preschool gossip while out for dinner at McDonalds, letting the little girl climb into bed with her during thunderstorms or after a bad dream. Over the years they’d both been branded as  the ‘black sheep’; ostracized  for their ‘lifestyle choices’ and how ‘wayward and lost’ they’d managed to become.

Nothing brings two people together like shared alienation and pure hatred and spite for their ‘enemies’.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” Esme attempts to reason, as she conducts the video chat in one of the ICU’s private family meeting rooms.  “I know finals are coming up. And you’ve been busy with placement. I didn’t want to add THIS to your plate.”

She’d left Tyler in extremely compassionate hands: a quiet and gentle Andy, who’d been standing over his sleeping friend and in the midst of a traditional Aboriginal blessing and prayer for healing.  She’d had to leave;  the purity and the beauty of both Andy’s heart and the moment too profound for her already fragile emotions to handle.  Instead she spends the time with both her sister and Addie; the infant cuddled close to her chest, a receiving blanket emblazoned with images of Baby Dumbo covering her as she nurses.  She had terribly missed even the simplicity and familiarity of such a common occurrence; the light weight of her daughter’s tiny body against hers, those tiny hands that gently  knead at her breast or grab at her necklace and reach for her hair.

“THIS is my brother in law,”  Riley says. “You know how much I love the guy. How much he’s the cat’s ass and I totally approve of how he treats you like a queen.”

“You’re one of the few people in my life who do. Love him.”

“Well NOT everyone can have exceptional taste.   They’re just bitter and jealous. You got out of that shit hole and away from their crap.   They’re all still stuck in and thriving on it; too chicken shit to ever think on their own, in fear of pissing off Mommy Dearest. Tyler’s the best thing that came along to that family in...well...forever.  They’re just pissed they can’t control him; that he gives zero fucks about any of them and doesn't shy away from letting them know.”

“Mommy Dearest still insists he’s the WORST thing to ever happen. That I’ve somehow been forced into this life and he’s somehow brainwashed me and has some strong and powerful hold over me that keeps me around.”

Riley gives a derisive snort.

“I mean even in her condition, she still managed to send me an email asking me when I was going to get my shit together and realize ‘that man’ is nothing but poison and bad news.  She didn’t even remember the twins’ birthdays or Millie’s. Or she did and just didn’t give a shit. She’s always treated those kids differently from the rest. All because she has this stupid, imaginary axe to grind against Tyler.”

“Fuck her,” Riley snarls. “You’re way too good for her. For that whole damn family. You always have been. And he is DEFINITELY way too good for them. Probably why none of your brothers like him; he makes them feel inferior and most definitely puts their masculinity into doubt. They’re probably pissed off their wives think of him when they’re flicking the bean.”

Esme frowns. “Riley!”

“Please tell me you’re still not bringing your bullshit; the whole insecurity crap. Who cares if other women lust after your husband? Or if they get themselves off thinking about him? Who is the one HE is getting off in person?  Who gets to have THAT going down on her whenever she damn well wants? Cut your shit; he only has eyes for you.”

“It’s not him I don’t trust.”

“He knows how to say no. I’m sure he has, many times.  No one else exists in his eyes. There’s not one woman in this world that would make that man unfaithful. So stop. Let other women...and probably more than a handful of men...fantasize about him. You get the real thing. I mean, he is so hot, he almost turned ME straight. Almost.”

Esme laughs at that.

“And that last picture you sent? The family one you guys did before Christmas? Whoa! Dude is looking thick and buff as fuck! What are you feeding him?”

“His favourite meal. Remember what he told you THAT was?”

“I sure as shit do! It’s the same as mine. Atta boy. The man from down under likes to spend a lot of time down under. That’s the spirit! And speaking of my favorite Aussie, what the fuck Tyler? What kind of god awful shitty mess did you get yourself caught up in?”

“Godawful shitty mess does not even begin to accurately describe what happened, believe me.”

“I called your place because I wanted to come down and visit for a couple of weeks next month. Finally see Australia! Bring the new girl for you all the meet. Cuddle my nieces and nephews and spoil the shit out of them with presents and candy.  And what do I find out? What does Fire Chief Dick for Brains tell me?”

“I’m sorry, Ry. I should have called you. I just didn’t want to burden you. I know you have a lot going on with school and placement and your social life and…”

“Fuck all of that. None of that matters. You’re my sister. That’s my brother in law. The father of my nieces and nephews. You’re my family.  All that matters to me is you guys.”

“Please don’t take it personally. It’s just a huge mess and my brain is not functioning at a hundred percent right now. All I’ve been concentrating on is him.  He’s my number one priority right now; helping him heal and getting him out of here and sent to a hospital back home. I didn’t purposefully leave you out.”

“Do you need me to come? Just say the word MeMe. I’ll get on the next flight.”

Esme smiles at the nickname; a little something a then four year old Riley had come up with because she couldn’t properly pronounce her new step sister’s name.  “I missed that,” she says. “Hearing you call me that.”

“You’ll always be MeMe to me. Do you need me there? Do you WANT me there? Because I will put everything aside and get to you. You know I will.”

“As much I’d love to see you and have you here, I don’t want you to do that. I want you to concentrate on school and your placement and your new love.  And Tyler would want all that, too. He would not expect you to drop everything for him. He’d give you shit for it, you know he would.”

“He is such a stubborn fuck, I swear. Love the guy, but he does my head in. And this isn’t about expecting it from me; it’s about me wanting to be there for you. I want to be there for you. Let me be there for you.”

“Ry, I love you and appreciate you so much. And I miss you. Terribly. But this isn’t the place for you. You need to stay where you are and concentrate on school and just get on with things.”

“How am I supposed to do that when Tyler is messed up like his? How am I supposed to concentrate on things when you’re going through this?”

“Because that’s what we BOTH want you to do. There is no reason for you to put your life on hold to come here. Everything is so up in the air right now.  There’s no timetable for his recovery; we have no idea how long it’s going to be until he can be sent home. And even then he’s going to be admitted to a hospital there.  It’ll be awhile until he’s home, home.”

“This is just such bullshit,” Riley sighs heavily. “I am so sorry. MeMe. That you’re going through this. I know how much you love him. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like; seeing him so torn up. It was bad, wasn’t it. What was done to him?”

“It was pretty damn bad.  He was in really rough shape when he was brought in.”

“How rough?”

“The roughest. Worse than seven years ago. Way worse. He told me that he didn’t want to die, but he was expecting it.”

“Jesus…” Riley breathes. “...for a guy like Tyler to come right out and admit that…”

“It was horrible; seeing him like that. I will never forget that as long as I live. I thought what I saw on the bridge...had to do on the bridge...was awful. But seeing him? After the surgeries and all the wounds so new and fresh?  I can’t even begin to describe it. How it made me feel.”

“I am so sorry,  I am so goddamn sorry.”

“I mean, that’s the love of my life. The father of my kids. The strongest person I’ve ever known. And to see him like that…like this…”  she takes a deep, shaky breath and releases it slowly.  “...it hurts. So much. That’s my whole heart, Riley. HE’S my whole heart.”

“I’m going to come there. To Dhaka. I don’t want you going through this alone. I don’t…”

“I’m fine,” Esme assures her. “I really am. I’m not alone either; a lot of friends are here to help out and watch over me. And now I’ve got this little muffin…” she lifts the edge of the blanket and glances down at Addie; those huge brown eyes staring up at her, then crinkling when the infant smiles.   “...it’s better now that she’s here. Or at least that one of them is here.”

“Do you want me to go to Australia? I can stay at your place, help with the kids. As much as I hate Fire Chief Dick for Brains, I’ll put up with him. Just for you.”

“The kids are fine, I promise. I just miss them. A lot. Once he’s transferred home, it’ll be a whole new ballgame.”

“Any remote idea on what that’s going to be?”

“Two weeks. Three at the most.”

“Shit…”  Riley shakes her head. “...oh Tyler, what the hell bruh…”

“It could have been worse. It could have been a lot worse. There could have been five kids with no daddy.”

“I don’t even want to think about that. How is he now? How is he doing?”

“He’s being weaned off of sedation. He has wakeful moments; periods where he’s pretty lucid.  His memory is shit; he asks the same questions at least six times an hour. That’s just the meds though. They said once the sedation is totally out of him, his brain will go back to normal.”

“Whatever normal is for Tyler,” Riley chides.  

“He’s able to stay up for quite a while. He can carry on a conversation, but he gets confused really easily. And then he gets frustrated and embarrassed and he starts shutting down.  And his emotions are all over the place; joking and somewhat happy one minute,  a weepy mess the next.”

“How’s the PTSD been?”

“Now that he’s more coherent? It’s been a mess. When he wakes up he’s very disoriented and if he’s alone or there’s people in the room he doesn’t know…”

“Freaks out?”

“He loses it. His fight or flight kicks in. And you know Tyler…”

“Always picks fight.”

Esme nods.  “And he doesn’t know what he’s doing or saying when he’s like that and he’s freaking out because he thinks I’m dead and no one can convince him otherwise. A PSW came in; while I was out. Woke him. To wash his hair and trim his beard.”

“Oh no…”

“He fucking lost it, Ry.  Which I knew would happen and is why I told them NOT to send someone in.  He just went off. It took four people to hold him down, and that was AFTER they gave him sedation. You would have thought nothing was wrong with him; that’s how hard he fought.  This is a man who can’t even walk right now. And he still scared the shit out of the PSW. Threatened to break his neck with his bare hands and told him how he’s done it before. Many times. Then told him he’d rip his head off and shove it up his ass.”

“So what’s the difference in him after all this? That sounds like Tyler on a good day.”

Esme can’t help but laugh.  “I think he made the PSW piss his pants.”

“Serves him right if he can’t follow instructions. Is it in his chart? That no one is supposed to come in?”

Esme nods.

“Well fuck him then.  Read the patient’s chart. It’s not that hard. Is it wrong that I’d give my right arm to see him rip someone’s head off and shove it up their ass? I bet he could do it too. I bet he’s done shit that defies logic.”

“Well he did once kill two people with a garden rake.”

“How fitting. A Rake, using a rake.  Perfection.  What’s his injuries like? Kyle says they’re pretty gnarly.”

“Why do you sound so pleased at the thought?”

“I’m in nursing school. This shit excites me. I can’t help it.”

“Gunshot wound to the back, lots of stitches, a torn MCL and ACL, open fracture of the right femur…”

“Do you have pictures of it?”

“Of what?”

“His femur.”

“Hell no, I don’t. Why would I want pictures of that?”

“Because that would be fucking amazing to see. Was it a true open fracture? Bone protruding and everything?”

“I guess. His friend said the bone was showing.”

“That is wild. I would have loved pictures; before AND after.”

Esme grimaces. “You’re disturbed.”

“Did they give him an ilizarov?”

“They said it would be on for a least three months. He is NOT happy.”

“Can you take pictures of that? And the gunshot wound?”

“Riley…”

“For scientific reasons, I swear. I just want to see them. I could even show my one prof and Tyler could be a case study.”

“I’d rather my husband NOT be one, thank you. He’s not your show and tell project.”

“Just go and take a couple pictures. Please? Pretty please? With  whipped cream and sprinkles and a cherry on top?”

“He’s sleeping. I am not going in there and waking him up because you're a freak.”

“Best time to do it; when he’s sleeping.”

“I would never do that to him. There’s this thing called consent. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it…”

“When he wakes up, ask him if you can take pictures. If you tell them they’re for Red, he’ll be good with it. I know he will. He loves me.”

“He does, actually.”

“I can’t wait to see you guys. I’ll come down; once he’s in a hospital there. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

“I talked to Mildred by the way…”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Millie is NOT short for Mildred.”

“Actually, it is.”

“Her name is not Mildred, though.”

“She LOVES when I call her that. Loves it.  Anyway, how grown up is she sounding all of a sudden? It’s like she’s six going on sixteen! What is up with that kid?”

“She’s her father. What more do I have to say?”

“She even sounds like him! The way she says certain words and little sayings she has. I couldn’t believe it; it was like talking to a mini, girl version of him.  Freaky!  She’s pretty pissed, huh? At you?”

Esme sighs. “Unfortunately.”

“I told her to smarten up. That she’s got a great mom and she needs to appreciate it AND you. I told her to get her shit together and respect you. That if her dad finds out what she’s up to, it won’t be pretty. I said that he’ll stick up for her mom no matter WHO is disrespecting her. I think that scared her.”

“There’s nothing she hates more than the thought of her daddy being mad at her. That’s her WORST fear, I swear.”

“Well she needs to cut the attitude. I don’t tolerate that shit. I don’t think I’m the favorite Aunt anymore, by the way.”

“You’re her only Aunt.”

“I guess I’m excommunicated then.  And speaking of being an aunt, let me see my little poop face.”

Esme removes the blanket covering Addie, then holds her onto the arms and places her in line with the camera.

“Oh my God…” Riley gives an excited squeal.  “...look at Auntie Ry Ry’s little poop face! You’re getting so big!”

“You’re kidding, right?” Esme laughs. “She just got into the newborn clothes. She’ll be four months.”

“She’s still grown a lot since the last time I saw her. Look at you, Addie! Look how beautiful you are. Look at how much you look like your mommy! You’re the lucky one, huh? Getting your momma’s looks? She’s smiling, MeMe. That smile is everything! She has Tyler’s smile.”

“It’s the one thing they all inherited. And she also got his appetite. I really need to get back to feeding her and I know it’s not the most pleasant thing to see while trying to have a conversation.”

“I don’t know, MeMe. I’ve had to look at worse things. You’ve got really nice boobs, actually. Tell him I said he’s lucky.”

“You’re too much. But I miss you. I can’t wait to see you.”

“As soon as you guys get home, I’ll be on my way,” Riley promises. “And if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me. Right away, hear me?”

“Loud and clear.”

“Chin up, okay? He’s got this. He’s a tough shit. He’ll be alright.”

“I know he will,” Esme says confidently, then blows her step sister a kiss in farewell before killing the video feed.

****

She pokes her head into the room when she returns, smiling when she finds him awake and sitting up in bed; the angle of the mattress slowly increasing with each hour, giving his back used to being in different positions and not allowing the muscles to settle and stiffen.

“Hey,” she greets. “You’re awake.”

“I am.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m texting you. Just taking me forever; hands won’t stop shaking.”

“I’m here, you might as well just tell me what you want to say.”

“I’m gonna send it anyway…” a grin tugs at the corners of his mouth. “...I’m almost done. Be patient.”

“That’s more your thing; being patient.”

“You’ve been plenty patient the last couple of days. There...all done...sent.”

Her phone vibrates within the pocket of her hoodie, and she pulls it out to check the message; smiling at the simple -yet honest and heartfelt- words. “You’re cute,” she gushes. “I’m going to send you one back.”     She steps out into the hall; composing her own text. Just a short and sweet: I love you too.   Accompanied by a selfie of her puckering her lips for a kiss. “Well…” she pokes her head back into the room.  “...did you get it?”

“Yep.”  A broad smile spreads across his face. “Want me to send something back? A dick pic?”

“Not when there’s a tube in it, I don’t. I do have a separate file for them though; where I put all the dick pics you send me when you’re away from home.”

“You’re dirty.”

“You’re the one who sends them! Where’s Andy?”

“He went downstairs to get something to eat. I told him I’d be fine by myself.”

“Pretty awesome, huh? That he can all this way to see you?”

“Yeah, it is.  He’s a good guy; I’m glad I sucked it up and talked to him that day at the school. Why are you poking your head in like that? Why don’t you just come in?”

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Are you naked?”

“You wish.”

“Is it a blowjob?”

Esme frowns. “What is wrong with you?”

“A lot. I probably couldn’t get it up anyway. Not with a tube sticking out of it and all the meds I’m on. What’s the surprise? Want me to close my eyes? Will it make it better?”

“This is going to be an awesome surprise no matter what. But go ahead.”

“You ARE naked, aren’t you. Baby, as much I appreciate your willingness and your effort to make me feel better at all costs, that part of me is not gonna work right now.”

“I am definitely NOT naked. It’s going to be a while before you get to see me with no clothes on. You are nowhere close to being ready for that.”

“You’re underestimating me.”

“That’s one thing I never do, trust me. You want the surprise or not? I promise you, this is an amazing one.”

“Even better than when the kids make me breakfast in bed and cupcakes for my birthday?”

“Even better,” she says, and then waits for him to close his eyes; carrying Addie into the room. “Don’t open them until I tell you to.  I brought you a little visitor.”

“One of those hospital therapy dogs? Like a corgi or some shit?”

“Way better and way cuter.”

“I don’t know, wife. Those are pretty damn cute.”

“Trust me, this is much better and will cheer you up a hundred times more than any dog ever could.”  She stands on the right side of the bed; easier to transfer Addie onto his good arm.  And she removes the receiving blanket draped over her daughter as she leans over the railing; a smile already curving the baby’s lips and her tiny hands reaching for her father.  “No sudden movements, alright? You don’t want to accidentally hurt the surprise. Open your eyes.”

He does as he’s told. A brief moment of confusion etched on his face as he looks down at the baby in his wife’s arms, then up at her. “Are you serious?”

“Andy brought her.  She’s been missing you just as much as you’ve been missing her. Look at her; she’s already smiling at you. She’s so happy to see you. There’s no one she loves the way she loves her daddy.  Wait until you see her little outfit.”

“I thought she wasn’t coming until tomorrow. That Ovi was bringing her.”  His eyes narrow. “How long was I asleep??”

“There was a change of plans; a little something Andy and Ovi came up with together. Here…”  she gently lays Addie along his left forearm; settling the baby’s head in the crook of his elbow. “...look at her little shirt? Isn’t it perfect? Daddy’s little peanut. Andy made it for her.”

“It is perfect. SHE’S perfect.”

“Look at her looking at you...look at that smile..all she sees is her daddy. Not what happened to him. Feels good, right? To have her here? To have her in your arms like this?”

“Yeah…” emotion chokes at him, and he leans down to press a kiss to Addie’s forehead, lightly chuckling when those tiny hands grab at his hair and his nose. “...feels amazing, actually.”

Esme leans into him, draping an arm across his shoulders. “I’m pretty sure she feels the same way. She definitely missed you.”

“I missed her,” he says, and kisses the tip of Addie’s nose. “Daddy missed you so much, baby girl. So much.”   The tears come now; a mixture of relief and happiness combined with the anger and frustration at being laid up and unable to perform even the simplest tasks for himself.

“Hey…” Esme places a kiss to his temple and rubs and squeezes his shoulder. “...it’s okay.  All uphill from here, remember? You’re doing amazing; don’t doubt that. Please don’t doubt that.”

“I didn’t think I’d get this chance again; to see her, hold her. I was pretty damn sure I wouldn’t.”

“Well you’re a tough cookie, Tyler Rake. If there’s anyone on this earth that can survive THAT and do this well, it’s you. I know how much you love proving people wrong. And you’re doing that. I also know how much you want to get out of Dhaka. I know that’s your main driving force for trying as hard as you are.”

“I just want to go home.  Even if it is to a hospital there. I just want to be home.”

“Soon,” she promises. “And if you keep doing as well as you are, it will be even sooner than any of us thought. I don’t want you to hurt yourself though, okay? I know sometimes you try to do to much, too soon. And I don’t want you doing that. I don’t want you busting your ass to the point it sets you back.  I know you don’t want that either.”

“I just want to feel my legs. It’s driving me crazy that I can’t. It freaks me out. I wake up and I forget it’s only temporary and I fucking lose it. You know that’s one of the worst things possible in my eyes; not being able to do things, not being able to have the life I had.”

“There’s no reason to worry about that. In a couple days, you’ll get the feeling back. This too shall pass.  It won’t be a while until you’re back to being the old you, but you WILL get there. I promise.  And you can’t tell me this won’t help. Having Addie here. That it won’t lift your spirits a bit.”

“She already has. She’s lifted them a lot, actually. I didn’t think I’d ever get to do this again. See you, see her.”

“Well, you DID get to do it. We’re here. We’re BOTH here.”  She moves her hand to the nape of his neck, massaging gently.  “Are you okay with her? She seems pretty happy where she is; I don’t think she’s going to want you to put her down anytime soon.”

“I’m good.  I’m not giving her up.  They’d have to pry her out of my cold, dead hands. She’s getting bigger, huh?”

“I thought the same thing when I first saw her. Feels like we’ve been away from her for a lot longer than we have. She’s still super tiny though.”

“She is. Just a wee little thing. Like her momma,” he presses another kiss to Addie’s brow. “Beautiful like your momma too.”

“In case you haven’t noticed by now, daddy is extremely  biased when it comes to mommy,” Esme addresses the infant.  “He always has been.”

“It’s not being biased when it’s the truth. It still feels weird; how light she is. Even Tanner with all his issues was never this small. She’s definitely all you. Now I’ll have two people small enough to pick up and put in my pocket.”

She combs her fingers through his hair and pecks his cheek. “You sure have your cute moments.”

“You seem to bring that side of me out.”

“Well it’s a very nice side.  But I like all your sides, so…”

Smiling, he tips his head up towards her, and she leans down and places a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.

“I know you didn’t agree with it,” she says, when he turns his attention back to Addie. “Her coming here.”

She notices the wince that briefly takes hold of his face; the simple action of using his right hand to tug the baby’s socks back up causing pain in the injured shoulder.

“I was just worried. About her being here if things went to shit again. I know we think they’re all gone; Asif’s people.  But I didn’t want to take that chance. Especially with her.”

“There hasn’t been any movement. Not even a whisper of trouble.  And you know Anil; he’s got all kinds of ears to the ground. I think it’s really over this time. I think we’re finally going to be able to put this place behind us. It’s time; to leave Dhaka behind.”

“I definitely don’t plan on coming back for a visit, that’s for sure. So if you have Dhaka on that ‘places like you’d like to vacation’ list, you can go ahead and erase it right now.”

“I have had enough of Dhaka to last me a lifetime, believe me. You know, you have this real habit of choosing extremely dramatic and painful ways to get out of taking me anywhere.”

Tyler grins. “Neither of the times I bailed on you were intentional, I swear.”

“I think we should stop planning ahead when it comes to going away. It’s like we jinx it somehow; talking about it too soon.  How about next time, we just decide on the spur of the moment to go somewhere? That way we shock the universe with our spontaneity and it doesn’t have time to recover until we’re BACK from our trip.”

“Sounds good to me. And we’re going to need one; a trip. When all this is over. I know it’s going to be a while, but we are definitely going to need a vacation.”

“Well tell your pocketbook to expect Bora Bora or The Maldives. I’m getting my suite on the water.”

“I will get you whatever you want, baby. Whatever your little heart desires.  You just tell me what it is and I’ll do it. I’ll get it for you.”

“You healthy and back on your feet.  That’s all I want.”

“I’m working on it.”

“I know you are,” she kisses his temple. “And you’re doing amazing. I’m so proud of you, Tyler. So fucking proud of you.”

“You’re going to make me cry. Again.”

“I can’t help that you’re so beautiful when you cry. And it would be happy tears, right?”

“Very happy tears.” He lays his palm on Addie’s stomach, all of her fingers wrapping around one of his. “She’s tiny, but she’s strong. Has a hell of a grip.”

“She’s like her daddy. Tough as nails.”

“I don’t know,” he smiles up at her. “I think her momma has me beat in the toughness department.”

“I think…” she places a kiss to his brow, then the bridge of his nose. “...you totally underestimate yourself. He does, doesn’t he, Addie? Underestimate himself. Tell daddy he’s tough as hell and the strongest, bravest person you know. Tell him how the sun shines out of his ass and he poops glitter and pisses rainbows. That’s how you look at him, might as well tell him too. Because his ego isn’t quite big enough, yet.”

He smirks. “My ego took a hell of a beating.”

“Well tell your ego to shut the fuck up,” she affectionately tousles his hair. “There was nothing you could have done, Tyler. You didn’t know this going to happen; that things were going to go this bad. There was nothing to suggest that he who shall not be mentioned was capable of something like that.”

“We both knew he was sketchy as fuck.”

“Being sketchy and being psychotic are two totally different things. You did everything right; you got Neysa and Aarev out, you went back to get him out.  There’s no way you could have known what he was going to do.”

“Should have listened to Koen and left his ass there.”

“Koen said that?”

He nods.

“You remember that? Him saying that?”

“I can remember things that happened BEFORE it all went down.  Things that I said, that other people said. I can remember getting Neysa and Aarev out and going back in to get N...him.  But after that, it’s pretty muddled.”

“But you do remember things?”

“I THINK  I’m remembering them. I THINK  it’s things that happened. I’m not sure though; if they’re real or my brain is just making shit up. I DO remember...vividly...him shooting me in the back. Everything else? I don’t know what’s real and what I’m imagining. And honestly, babe? I don’t think I want to remember.”

“But you might. And that could get pretty scary for you; things coming back to you.”

“I know.”

“Once we’re home, we’ll get you some help okay? Some therapy. For the mental stuff.”

“Alright.”

“I know you hate that side; seeing therapists and talking to strangers and having to take meds. But you know what I hate? Seeing your brain torturing you like it does. I hate that you have to go to war every damn day with your own mind. I just want you to be okay.  You know that, right?”

“I do know that. I’ve never doubted that. Not once in the last seven years.”

“Even the toughest need help, sometimes. And I’ll get you that help. I promise. I’ve got you. Always.  You’re my ride or die, remember?”

“Yeah…” he chuckles. “...you’re mine too.”

“You’re going to be okay,” she assures him. “Inside AND out. You’re already on your way.  And I’m not going anywhere. I'll be here, right beside you, every step of the way.”

“What about after? When I AM better? You still going to stick around? The whole pain meds thing?”

“We talked about that. You know where I stand; about you needing to deal with that. That’s a deal breaker, Tyler. Because I can’t live like that. And I won’t let our kids live like that either. I love you. More than you could possibly ever comprehend. But that? I can’t do THAT.”

“I’ll do whatever I have to. I don’t want to lose you. Or my kids. Whatever I need to do...whatever YOU need me to do...I’ll do it. No hesitations. Whatever it is.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? Let’s concentrate on what we’re going through right now. One thing at a time.  I don’t want you to worry about anything else, alright?”

He nods. “I love you. I always have. I always will.”

“I love you,” she says, and leans down to press a kiss to his lips.   “We’re going to get through this. Our track record for getting through tough shit is at one hundred percent.  I want to keep it that way.”

“Yeah…” he closes his eyes as she rests her forehead against his. “...so do I.”

[notfunnydean]

Challenge: SPN Family Quarantine Bingo Prompt: Dreamcatcher Pairing: Dean Winchester / Castiel Warnings: Watching someone’s dreams, first kiss, fluff, cute!Dean, crying!Dean Word Count: 3.620 Summary: Dean can’t sleep. There are too many nightmares and he struggles to get through them. Castiel has an idea to help but somehow this turns out different than they both think. It turns into something better. Link (if posted on AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/23400031

“Good morning.” Sam says happily, when he enters the kitchen. Dean grumbles something into his mug, filled with way too hot coffee, but he doesn’t care. Today already sucks and it’s only nine am.

Sam stops on his way to the counter to look at Dean, who almost hides his face. He knows how he looks. His hair is still a mess, there are dark circles under his eyes, and his fingers are shaking.

“You okay?” Sam wants to know before he takes an apple out of the bowl and bites loudly into it. Dean looks as annoyed as he can and then rolls his eyes too.

“Do I look okay to you?” Dean snaps and he can’t even help it. He didn’t sleep tonight, or yesterday or any night of this week. Well no, he does sleep a bit, but he wakes up screaming bloody murder because of his nightmares.

“Rough night?” Sam guesses and Dean nods. Already feeling exhausted from this short conversation. His head is pounding and he doesn’t even want to finish the bacon on his plate. Alone that should be a clear sign.

“Yeah. I… had a bad dream.” Dean offers, even though he doesn’t want to talk about his dreams to Sammy. Sure they at least inform each other that they have nightmares, but they rarely talk about them in detail.

Dean would not change that tradition today.

Or ever.

“About… Rowena?” Sam whispers, sounding sad himself now. Dean feels himself shaking his head, while his heart grows heavy. Yeah of course he misses her, she kind of grew on him, right?

“Not only.” Dean manages and Sam nods shortly. They both don’t want to talk about it. Too much guilt on both their hands. Too much blood.

“Ketch too, huh?” Sam says, while he gets himself some coffee. Dean squeezes his eyes shut, feeling worse with every minute. 

He should feel bad for Rowena and Ketch, right? Or Kevin. They were all his friends and while… and while Dean misses them and knows he will suffer in hell for their death again… the nightmares are not about them.

Anymore.

“Whatever. I don’t wanna talk about it.” Dean whispers and he hopes Sam would drop the topic already. Dean could for sure just take some sleeping pills or whatever. Maybe he should drink a bit more again.

“Dean.”

Dean almost pours the coffee over his robe, when he hears that voice. Castiel is standing in the doorway, looking a bit nervous. After their talk in Purgatory, Dean has no idea how… how to look him into the eyes. 

Fuck. He had almost poured his whole heart out there. But luckily Castiel didn’t let him finish when they had met each other again. 

Saved him the heartbreak. Or at least that’s what he is telling himself. 

“Hiya Cas.” Dean whispers, not looking at the angel, while Castiel walks into the kitchen. Dean knows now that Castiel’s grace is low and he is glad that the angel is back in their bunker and not… elsewhere.

“Dean is grumpy. He has not been sleeping well.” Sam says and Dean glares at his brother. What a damn traitor. Dean growls, before he looks up at Castiel, almost batting his eyelashes and what the fuck!?

“Dean, why didn’t you tell me. I could’ve helped.” Castiel says and Dean winces quietly. That is exactly what he didn’t want. 

“I don’t wanna bother you with my silly dreams.” Dean finally gets out, but Castiel is already shaking his head. Castiel sits down as well and takes Dean’s hand into his own one. Dean’s eyes widen at that.

“I can help you.” Castiel says, sounding so horrible honest. Dean looks down at their hands. He knows exactly how he would sleep a lot better, but he can’t say that. He wouldn’t… put himself out there.

“I don’t want you to spend even more grace on me.” Dean settles on and Castiel smiles so softly at him. Dean’s heart almost jumps out of his chest because of that. 

“I won’t have to. Remember Sergei? I bought a few things from him and I should just have what you need.” Castiel says and he already gets up from the table. Dean watches a bit helplessly as Castiel leaves.

Sergei. He hates that guy. He didn’t even know they stayed in contact and it bugs him a lot.

“You know, you could just tell him.” Sam says, as if he knows anything - oh god does he know? Dean leans back to look at his brother, who smiles well too knowingly. Fuck.

“Shut up! This is all your fault.” Dean says and then he yawns so hard, that his jaw pops loudly. Dean whines pitifully.

Why does God hate him?

Well he knows why.

*

“This is weird.” Dean says, when he sits on the edge of his bed. It’s late again, Dean is still just as tired as this morning and Castiel is not really helping.

“It is not. So where do you want it?” Castiel asks and he holds this monstrum up. Dean growls and then gets up to find his drilling machine. Castiel smiles way too smugly, while Dean kicks off his shoes and then stands on his bed.

“For the record, you tell anyone about this and I will kill you.” Dean says and they both know that is not true. Still he takes the bright rosa dreamcatcher reluctantly and attaches it to his ceiling.

It looks of course horrible.

The dreamcatcher has a lot of feathers on it. A lot of them are black. Dean carefully strokes over one of them, somehow they remind him of something. Otherwise there are a lot of pearls in there and some glitter.

“I think it looks great.” Castiel says happily from where he is standing. Dean groans and then sits down on his bed, getting rid of his flannel. He would change the rest of his clothes, when Castiel is gone.

“Of course you would. And you think this works?” Dean asks, looking up to the Dreamcatcher again. It should be right over his head, while he sleeps. At least it will be dark then, so Dean doesn’t have to see it.

But he would still know it is there. Urgh.

“Yes. Sergei said it will catch your dreams and you will not be disturbed while sleeping. Even the worst nightmares will get stuck in it.” Castiel explains and Dean nods, before he wipes over his face. 

His head is already hurting.

“Okay fine, I’ll try it, but if it doesn’t help, I wanna kick Sergei’s ass.” Dean says and Castiel smiles so genuinely again. Dean loves that smile, it’s soft and only meant for him. He wishes Castiel would always look like that.

“Deal and now sleep, Dean. I wish you ‘Sweet Dreams’.” Castiel says and he walks over to the door. Dean doesn’t know what’s worse, that he is still doing his air quotes or that he waves at Dean before leaving.

Dean’s heart squeezes painfully. He’s way too much in love with him and that is exactly the problem. Dean’s nightmares?

They are full of Castiel leaving. Again. Forever. Permanent. 

Dean shudders and then gets out of his jeans. He finds a soft pair of sweatpants and dresses in them, with another dark shirt and then he finally lays down in his bed. He watches the Dreamcatcher dangle from his ceiling.

“Weird. So weird.” Dean mumbles and then turns onto his stomach. Luckily this time it doesn’t even take long for him to fall asleep.

*

“Dean!”

Castiel smiles widely when the hunter comes into the kitchen. Dean already looks so much better this morning. His hair is soft and sticks in every direction and there is the tiniest smile on his lips. 

“Hey Cas. I have to say man, that ugly thing worked.” Dean says and Castiel didn’t realize he was actually holding his breath. He is so glad it worked, Dean deserves some good sleep after everything he does for the world.

“I’m glad, Dean. I told you it would work.” Castiel says and Dean rubs over his hair, while grinning at him. Castiel’s heart stutters in his chest. Dean looks utterly adorable sometimes and Castiel’s fingers itch to touch his hair as well, but he knows he is not allowed.

While Dean starts to prepare some breakfast, Castiel can’t help but think back to Purgatory. He had heard Dean crying, telling him he would forgive him and he had wished for something more.

When they had seen each other again, Dean wanted to tell him more. But Castiel’s heart couldn’t bear another ‘You’re family Cas’ and so he stopped him.

“Here we go.” Dean says happily, he even whistles, and puts a plate in front of Castiel. The angel smiles himself, when he sees that Dean made him some sort of special breakfast burrito. He knows how much Castiel enjoys them.

Lately he’s able to taste food a lot more anyway.

“I mean it, Cas. Thank you so much.” Dean says, when he is sitting in front of Castiel, his plate even fuller than Castiel’s. The hunter grins before he starts to stuff his face and Castiel admires him for a second, before he starts with his own food.

Their feet under the table touching.

*

Castiel knocks on Dean’s door a few hours later. When the hunter doesn’t answer, Castiel opens the door and finds the room indeed empty. 

Well then he would change the Dreamcatcher on his own. Castiel looks at the feathers in his hand and then carefully takes the stool that is in the corner of the room and puts it next to the bed, so he wouldn’t ruin Dean’s bedsheets.

He takes his old feathers out of the Dreamcatcher and they glow in a dark blue, when he touches them. Castiel sighs. Seems like the dreams were really bad. He takes three new feathers and binds them into the Dreamcatcher.

Just as he steps down the stool, the old feather in his hand glows a lot more. Castiel sits down on the bed, closing his hand. His eyes glowing blue and the world around him changes. 

Castiel gasps and suddenly it’s dark around him. He feels like he just broke through the water surface or something.

“Cas please!” 

Castiel looks up at that and his eyes widen when he sees himself and Dean. They are in the bunker, Dean sitting on the war table, glass of whiskey in his hands. The other Castiel is standing with his back to Dean.

“Well, I don't think there's anything left to say.” The other version of himself says and Castiel realizes what this is. His fight with Dean. This time Castiel can see Dean’s reaction. The pain in his eyes. 

“Where are you going?” Dean asks and Castiel’s chest hurts just as much as it did, when he really experienced it back then. The other version of Castiel leaves, he walks slowly upstairs and the door sounds too loud.

Castiel’s breath hitches when he looks back to Dean.

The glass in his hands falls loudly to the ground, but Dean doesn’t seem to care about the whiskey. Instead he puts both of his hands over his eyes and to Castiel’s utter shock, he starts to cry.

Not quiet, not pretty. No he pours his heart out.

“‘m sorry, Cas! Please… don’t please don’t go. I… I just miss my mom and… not you too Cas. Please don’t le-leave me here alone.” 

Dean sobs loudly and Castiel wishes he could go over there and comfort him. Dean’s words still hurt, of course they do. But Castiel understands that Dean said them in anger and because of the loss of his mother, that he can’t move on from.

Of course it’s still wrong to let it all out on Castiel, but the angel knows Dean is sorry for it. Still it hurts him to see Dean likes this.

“Cas, come b-back please!”

And just like that Castiel opens his eyes again and he is back in Dean’s room. Dean’s pleas still loud in his ears. Castiel presses the feathers against his chest and leaves.

Dean’s biggest nightmare is Castiel leaving. And not coming back.

*

The next days continue just like that. Dean sleeps better, Castiel takes care of the dreamcatcher on his own and finds his heart breaking at each nightmare. It’s always the same. 

Castiel leaving Dean after a fight.

Castiel dying.

Castiel leaving Dean for heaven.

“I hope you sleep well.” Castiel says, when he finds himself in Dean’s room again. Dean knows at least that he has to power the dreamcatcher up each night, but he doesn’t know how.

Castiel hadn’t told him that those are his feathers, but at least had assured him that it wouldn’t eat his grace away.

“I’m sure I will.” Dean says yawning already. He sits on the edge of the bed, already wearing his clothes for the night. Castiel loves that look on him and he wishes he could just lay down beside him. Hold Dean.

“Me too and Dean…?” Castiel says, when Dean finally lays down. The blankets are new, softer and thicker as well. Dean’s green eyes are already smaller. He’s really tired and so adorable.

“Hm?” Dean makes and Castiel smiles.

“I can’t wait to see you in the morning.” Castiel whispers, not even waiting for an answer before he closes the door. It’s not the promise that he wanted to give Dean, but it’s a start. 

Castiel had done that a lot lately. He always tells Dean where he would go and when he would be back and it seems to work, because Dean seems more relaxed lately. He seems happy.

Castiel imagines how he cuddles now in his blankets and thinks of him. Maybe one day, Castiel would be allowed to see him like this. Soft and sweet sleeping in his arms.

Sure he had seen Dean sleeping before. But normally Dean moves a lot during his sleep, drowning in nightmares and tears. He watched over him before, until Dean banned him from doing so. 

He really hopes that would soon change.

*

The next morning, Dean actually goes on a morning run with Sam and he tells them happily about this new recipe he wants to try for dinner. Sam seems eager as well and tells him about the farmer market they could run to, to buy everything they need. Castiel can’t help but smile himself and Sam seems to do better as well.

Castiel uses the time to change the Dreamcatcher again. This time he stops in his movement, because his feathers aren’t glowing in a dark blue. Instead there is a soft pink around it.

Maybe that means Dean didn’t have any dream tonight. Castiel looks down at his feather, closing his hand around them. Wouldn’t hurt to check what the color means, right?

“Hiya Cas!”

Castiel looks up, when Dean enters the kitchen. He probably followed the smell and that’s why he is still not dressed. Again only in his sleeping clothes and in his robe, but Castiel has to say he really enjoys that sight.

“Good morning Dean. I made you breakfast.” Other-Castiel answers and Dean is behind him in just a second. Dean even puts his head on Castiel’s shoulder and looks into the pan. The other Castiel smiles widely. 

“I know why I fell in love with you.” Dean answers happily, before kissing Other-Castiel’s neck. Other-Castiel chuckles and turns around in Dean’s arms, putting his own arms around Dean’s neck.

“That the only reason?” Other-Castiel asks cheekily and Dean shakes his head. Pouting adorably, before leaning closer and kissing Other-Castiel. The kiss stays incredibly soft, but Castiel’s heart aches for this.

He can’t believe Dean would dream about something like this. He almost holds his hands out, when Dean breaks the kiss.

“But it’s one of the reasons.” Dean says cheekily while he grabs around Castiel and steals a piece of bacon out of the pan, before stuffing it in his mouth. Other-Castiel laughs loudly, when Dean bats his eyelashes.

“You are unbelievable.”

Just then the world around Castiel turns again and he finds himself back in Dean’s bedroom. He almost huffs, because he is annoyed that he didn’t get to see much, when he looks right into wide green eyes.

“Cas what the fuck!”

Oh no. This is the real Dean standing in front of him and he looks a bit angry. Castiel swallows and the feathers are almost falling out of his hands.

“I was just…” Castiel starts but Dean shakes his head.

“I forgot my wallet and when I come back you are in my room, staring at nothing, your eyes a bright pink and lost in something. Did you… did you watch my dreams?” Dean’s voice breaks at the end.

The betraying so clear in his eyes. Dean is hurt. Again, because of Castiel.

“Dean wait, I didn’t know at first that I could do that. It was an accident.” Castiel tries but it sounds weak in his own ears. Dean looks to the ground, his jaw ticking.

“How long?” Dean asks, his voice sharp.

“S-since the first night, but Dean I didn’t…” Castiel doesn’t finish the sentence because he has no idea what to say. Dean continues to look down, Castiel is afraid that now they will fight again.

“I… I don’t remember my dreams but I can guess what they are about. But today I had a good dream and I remembered this one. And… Cas, I’m sorry.” Dean finally looks up his green eyes full of tears.

And before Castiel can react, he already turns around and is on his way out. Castiel sputters at nothing, but luckily he is faster than the hunter.

He catches him in the war room and holds him against his chest. Dean doesn’t even struggle, so Castiel pushes him with his ass on the war table.

“Cas please - I really didn’t mean to fall…” 

While this is what Castiel always wanted to hear, he kisses Dean quiet. He can’t wait any longer for this. Dean whines quietly but opens his mouth without any further protest and Castiel kisses him like there is no tomorrow.

When he breaks the kiss, Dean’s eyes stay closed for a few seconds longer. Castiel smiles a bit, when they do flutter open.

“What?” Dean whispers and he even strokes over his lips, as if he can’t believe Castiel kissed him, so the angel presses another kiss to his forehead. He wishes he’d never have to stop kissing Dean.

“I’m in love with you too.” Castiel says and Dean looks so shocked before there starts to form a smile on his lips as well. 

“I dreamed about this.” Dean says and Castiel looks a bit sad, almost apologizing again, before Dean winks at thim.

“I know.” Castiel answers just as smug and then they stare at each other. Dean is still sitting on the war table, Castiel standing between his legs. Dean is only wearing shorts and Castiel strokes over his thighs. 

“I’m still sorry for just looking into your dreams, I shouldn’t have done it, but I couldn’t stop because I hoped that you would love me too.” Castiel tries to explain himself. Dean nods slowly.

“It’s… okay. I understand why you did it and I’m just glad… it led to this.” Dean grins a tiny bit and when he leans closer, Castiel kisses him shortly. Dean seems pleased.

“Too bad it wasn’t a sexy dream.” Castiel mutters into Dean’s ear, who gasps quietly at that. Castiel laughs, seems like someone already had those.

“Hmm, I’m sure I can show you some time, what I dreamed about before.” Dean whispers back, he sounds so lascivious. Castiel can’t wait to hear more about those dreams. Can’t wait for Dean to show him.

“Do they involve those shorts?” Castiel wonders and Dean laughs loudly. 

“No they do not, but we could easily change that. For now though, Sam is waiting outside.” Dean says and Castiel helps him up from the table. Dean is right, that all could wait, Castiel is just happy that they finally solved this.

“Fine. I’ll make you breakfast. Extra bacon, extra cheese.” Castiel says and Dean hums happily, before kissing Castiel again.

Seems like they both can’t stop.

Dean finally jogs up the stairs but he stops at the balcony again.

“Cas? Your uh feather… it didn’t hurt you did it?” Dean asks, clear worry in his voice. Castiel shakes his head.

“No, I lose them all the time, normally you just don’t see them.” Castiel answers, smiling up at Dean, who seems a bit relieved when he hears that.

“Well if I have to keep the shorts, you should show me your feathers more often.” Dean smirks and Castiel laughs loudly. That sounds like a good deal.

“Fine. Now go and be safe. I love you.” 

Dean looks surprised at that and he turns red all over, Castiel can easily see that. The blush looks beautiful on Dean’s cheeks. He needs to see this more often.

“Love you.” Dean mumbles so sweetly before he is out of the door.

Castiel clearly hears Sam asking what took him so long and if he already ran because he is so red in the face. He doesn’t hear Dean’s embarrassed answer, but he doesn’t have to. 

Instead he indeed goes into the kitchen to make breakfast. But to be honest he can’t wait for the night. Because this time he would make sure to be the one keeping the bad dreams away.

He keeps the dreamcatcher anyway.

For sentimental reasons. 

Dean doesn’t complain.

[bella-spil]

2 Romeos & 1 Juliet- Part 6

Part 6.  Fem reader.  Bucky, loki, Steve, Tony, Thor.

Warnings: Reader is only in the story in the beginning.  The rest, the reader is gone.  Cursing, confusion(make sure you read carefully)

Word Count: 3.8k

Taglist:  (plz join, I Love when you guys want to read my stories.  Also, feedback helps and let me know you enjoy the story)  @angrythingstarlight​ @kmuir1​ @sea040561​ @wednesday-add-em​  (also credit for this series idea goes to @kmuir1​)

A/N: this is the second to last part of this series.  Make sure you know the rest of the story before jumping into this one.  I don’t want you to get confused and not know what’s going on.  Also if it isn’t confusing, maybe it’s just me.  But enough chit chat.  Enjoy!

“HEY! GET OFF OF HER!”

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

Suddenly, the door burst open.  You were lying on the bed, not sure exactly what was happening or who was in the room, but suddenly, Bucky was ripped off of you.  

Then a different face hovered over yours, one that was familiar.  Steve Rogers was trying to get you to snap out of whatever daze you were in, except you were drugged.  Your mind was clouded by a strange haze, a fog that blocked you from doing anything.  Your body felt like silly putty, unable to do anything on it’s own without some help.  

“Thor!  Bring her to the medical wing, and tell Natasha to watch her.  Then come back immediately.” Steve ordered.  Steve helped lean you over the bed, and Thor lifted you bridal style to the medical wing.  

Bucky was so close, but Tony appeared out of thin air and tore him off of you.  Tony slammed Bucky to the wall, making sure he wouldn’t leave his sights.

“Barnes?”  Tony asked, confused.  “F.R.I.D.A.Y., make sure Barnes doesn’t leave this room.”

“Understood, boss,” the A.I. responded.  

“Bucky, what the fuck were you thinking?” Steve asked once you left the room with Thor.

“Why the Hell do you think you can just barge into the fucking room, punk?” Bucky answered back.

“Because we can,” Tony responded.  “And there were cameras that were watching your every move.  The little A.I. in the house, yeah, she notified me that someone was attempting to rape Y/N.  So me and Capsicle were going to stop her.”

“Bucky why would you try to rape her?” Steve asked.  “I’ve known you forever and with all the other girls, you’ve never even thought of drugging her.”

“That’s because she isn’t like other girls,” Bucky answered, licking his lips.  “She was going to be mine. Once and for all.”  

As soon as those last four words left his mouth, Steve sucker-punched Bucky dead in the face.  Blood started dripping all over Bucky’s face, and on Steve’s knuckles.  Bucky didn’t even try to fight back.  Instead, he just hissed like a snake at the sudden blow to the face.  Bucky’s hair was spread all over his face.  The blood was dripping steadily from his face to his shirt, and down to the floor.

Tony was standing there, pointing his hand, which had on part of his suit, at Barnes, making sure he wouldn’t try to escape.  

“Alright, enough chit chat.  Let’s talk.” Steve started.

“What drug?” Tony asked.

“Rohypnol,” Bucky answered calmly, careful to not give too much info.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., what’s that drug Bucky just said?” Steve asked.

“Of course, Mr. Rogers,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. began.  “The drug that Mr. Barnes listed was Rohypnol.  Known in the streets as R-2, roofies or forget-me-pills.  One of the top three rape drugs.  Used to make the user sleepy, confused, and often forget what happened while they were on it.  Kicks in 30 minutes after use and the user is in that state for more than a couple hours on end.  It lowers defenses and makes it harder to move the body to escape.”

“Where did you get the drug?” Tony asked, blaster still pointed to Bucky.

“Here,” Bucky smirked, licking his lips again to get the blood off his mouth.

“What? That's impossible, how?” Tony said, confused.

“Of course.  Bucky has the drug for medical purposes.  To help him cope with his days in H.Y.D.R.A.” Steve realized.

“You son of a bitch!” Tony shouted, landing another punch at Bucky.  This time it was right in the gut.  Bucky collapsed to the floor, clutching to his stomach and whimpering in pain.  He had to take a couple deep breaths to speak properly again.

“Ya know, without your little robot, and your stupid cameras, you wouldn’t be here right now.” Bucky said, grinning at Avengers standing in front of him.  “I would have won.”

“I thought she was your friend,” Steve said, shocked at the sudden change of behavior in his longtime friend.

“She was my mission,” Bucky said with zero remorse.

“Who was your mission?”

Bucky was standing outside of the room, his hair messed up and his eyes were tired, with tiny, almost invisible bags.  But Bucky was also in the room, bloody and talking.  Two Bucky’s.

Steve and Tony looked at each other in disbelief.  They had no clue what to believe.  Suddenly Bucky was about to rape his crush and now another Bucky was standing outside the room.  Their worlds were spinning.  Their eyes were flashing back and forth between the two of them.  Making sure that this was real and not some monitor.  But it was real alright, and everyone could see it.

“What the hell?” Tony said.

“Get in here.” Steve ordered the Bucky outside the room.  

That Bucky looked confused, seeing himself on the floor all bloody.  He had no clue what was going on, since he was out for the whole day.  It was like seeing the Winter Soldier in a completely different body.  Seeing himself as the monster the rest of the world saw him as.  Now he knew what fear was.  He could see the monster through his own eyes, not through a reflection.  The bloody, cold hearted assassin.  The Winter Soldier.

He had also never heard Steve talk to him with such authority, like Steve had no clue who he was.  It was like a nightmare, his friend for life treating him like a criminal.  Even though he was already, Steve believed in him.  But now, it was the complete opposite.

“Lean on the wall,” Tony ordered and two Buckys were standing next to each other.  

Looking at each other like they saw Satan himself.  They looked exactly alike, so much so that it was scary.  The only differences were the blood, clothes and how the bloody Bucky shaved, having no hair on his face.  The other Bucky had a little stubble, and he looked a little less messy.

Then Thor walked back into the room.  He looked at the situation and he had to do a double take at the events.  Two Buckys were standing in front of him, along with a confused Steve and a distraught Tony.

“What in Odin’s beard is going on?” Thor asked, just as lost as Steve.

“We were interrogating the bloody Bucky and then another Bucky walked into the room.” Steve explained, running his hands through his hair.

“Ok,” Tony began, turning his attention to the lookalikes.  “The Bucky that just walked in the room, yeah you, you’re Bucky #1.  Bloody Bucky, you’re Bucky #2.”  The Buckys nodded and just waited silently.

“Thor, watch them while me and Cap come up with a game plan.  If they do something, strike them.” Tony ordered.

“Good,” Thor said.  “Just as long as we’re all in agreement.”

He lifted up his hands and suddenly, Stormbreaker and Mjolnir were transported right into his fingertips.  His eyes were glowing and his outfit changed from sweats to his battle outfit.  He stared at the two Bucky’s with such intensity that Bucky #1 gulped.

“I don’t like it,” Steve said, turning his back from Thor and huddling with Tony.

“Why?  Bloody Mary giving up so easily?” Tony asked.

“I don’t remember it being this easy.  Bucky can pack a wallop,” Steve said.

“Well, you might have missed a couple things, doing time as a Capsicle,” Tony countered.

“Yeah I know, I know.  What we should be discussing is what to do.” Steve said.

“Well, you know Bucky the best, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, let’s test that knowledge,”

“Which means?”

“I mean ask the Bucky’s questions that only the real Bucky would know.  That will help give us a clearer shot of who is who.” Tony cleared.

“Understood,” Steve nodded back.  

Then the two Avengers turned back around to see Thor watching the two Bucky’s very closely.  So far, they haven’t made any attempt to get out of the room.  

“Alright.  Since we don’t know whose who, I am going to ask some questions.  The real Bucky would know the answer to all of these.  If you get one or more wrong, well, let's say Fury will have a ball with you.” Steve said.

“First question is for Bucky #2.  After the Sokovia Accords, how many years did you go back under for?” Steve asked.  

“2 years,” Bucky #2 answered without hesitation.

“Bucky #1,” Steve started.  “What military group did you serve in and what was your ranking?”

Bucky #1 smiled, the thought of all his old memories reminding him of some of the best moments in his life.  Before he answered, he cleared his throat and lifted his chin just a little.

“The one-o-seventh.  Sergeant James Barnes.” Bucky said, reliving his memory.  

Steve grinned just a little, not to make it look like he already knew who was the real Bucky.  Just to enjoy his past.

“Bucky #2, how many Avengers and/or people involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. have you harmed or killed?” Steve asked.

Bucky #2 had to think for a moment, thinking of all the people he has to remember.  There’s so many, so many innocent people, so many.  And a little amount of criminals.

“I shot Natasha.  Killed Tony’s parents.  I know I killed JFK, but I don’t know the exact number of all the others.  H.Y.D.R.A. wiped my mind so many times so I can’t remember a number, but I remember all of them.” he answered.  

The room got quiet for a minute, since the answer was very dark.  But once Tony cleared his voice for Steve to start again, then it got back to being serious.

“Bucky #1, in WWII, you saved my life.  How?” Steve asked.

“Well,” Bucky #1 began.  “We were going into a H.Y.D.R.A. base to take down the building, soldiers and whatever else.  You were walking to the building while I was waiting in the bushes.  While you were walking, you didn’t see a soldier in a window or something, so you almost were killed.  But luckily, I was able to kill him before I lost you.”

“Bucky #2, last question.  What was my mom’s name?” Steve asked.

Bucky #2 froze for a moment or so.  He had almost forgotten completely.  Steve and him never really talked about his mom, only in the 40’s, so it made it harder to remember.  But, a lightbulb went off, and he knew it now.

“Your mom’s name is Sarah,” Bucky answered, his voice a little bit raspy.

Steve knew that only a few people knew his mom's name, including Bucky.  So hearing that Bucky knew was a clear indication that Bucky #2 was the Bucky that saved his ass multiple times.

“Bucky #1, last question.  When my mom died, what did you say to me?” Steve asked, hoping he would get an answer.

Bucky #1 knew the answer by heart.  This was one of his most prominent memories.  This was how he was able to become the old Bucky.  This was how he was able to snap out of the Winter Soldier, and how he saved Steve’s life once again.

“When your mom died, you didn’t go to the funeral,” Bucky #1 began.  “You were just happy that she was next to your dad.  I tried to offer you to live at my place, said you could if you shined my shoes and took out the trash.  But being you, you refused, saying you could get by on your own.  But you nearly forgot your keys to your apartment.  I told you that you didn’t have to get by on your own.  I put my hand on your shoulder and told you that I was with you till the end of the line.  And I still am.  I’m with you till the end of the line, pal.”

Steve never heard Bucky express his feelings this much, so now, he was torn.  

His mind was telling him Bucky #2, the one drugged and that almost raped his friend, the one that was bloody all over the floor, the one that knew his mom’s name.  His mind was telling him that this was the real Bucky, the one he spent WWII with.

But his heart was telling him a different story.  It was telling him Bucky #1 was the real, true Bucky.  The one that served with him, the one that saved his life, the one that was with him till the end of the line.  

He knew Bucky never really expressed his emotions but while answering the final question, Bucky poured his heart out to let Steve know that it was really him.  Even on one of the other questions, Bucky chuckled a little bit, something that Bucky rarely did.  His heart was telling him that this was the Bucky that he spent his life with.

Steve was lost, conflicted, confused.  Should he believe the Bucky who stumbled in here only a little while ago or the one that almost raped his friend?  

“Tony, I don’t know,” Steve confessed.

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know?’” Tony snapped back.

“They both answered all the questions correctly, and my mind and my heart are telling me two different things,” Steve answered.

“Ok, Stark, why don’t you ask them a question?” Thor offered.

“Good idea, Point Break,” Tony agreed, and he cleared his throat before asking the question that would answer everyone’s questions.

“After the Airport Battle in Berlin, Steve and Bucky headed to the H.Y.D.R.A. base to find Zemo and to stop him from awakening the other Winter Soldiers.  And I followed them, to tell Steve that I was wrong.  But Bucky,” he paused, looking both Bucky’s dead in the eye.  “Bucky did something that put me off guard.  And to snap him out of it, I called him something.  What was it?”

Both Bucky’s stopped to think for a moment.  They were deep in thought, racking through their memories as if it was a library.  Bucky #1 was still thinking while Bucky #2 sighed and just gave up.

“What did you call me?” Bucky #2 asked.  “How the hell would I remember that?  That’s such a stupid thing to ask.”

“Manchurian Candidate.”  Bucky answered.  “You called me Manchurian Candidate since I didn’t lower my weapon.”

Then Bucky #2’s eyes widened.  He was shocked that the other one knew.  And suddenly, all the eyes in the room were on him.

“That’s not Bucky,” Steve said.

“No shit,” Bucky #1 said.

“Speaking of,” Tony said.  “Where is Loki?”

Everyone in the room stood like statues, trying to retrace the last time they saw Loki that day, but came up empty handed.  But Thor looked like he saw a ghost.  It all came together like a puzzle for him.  Everything fit.  Once he realized, he pinned Bucky #2 to the wall, pressing Mjolnir up to his chest.

“Thor, what are you doing?” Steve panicked.

“You’re really gonna make me do this?” Thor asked Bucky #2, whispering so Bucky #2 would only hear.

“Do what?” Bucky #2 asked.

Then Thor’s eyes started to glow and lightning was surging through his body.  He was going to strike him.  Thor pressed the hammer harder and harder into Bucky #2’s chest, causing him to yell in pain.

“I’ll see you on the other side, brother,” Thor whispered, getting ready to strike the life outta Bucky #2.  

The power was starting to grow stronger and stronger, to the point where Bucky #2 had to surrender.

“Alright!  I yield!” he shouted, moving out of the way so he wouldn’t get hit.  But he wasn’t the same person he was before.  He changed, dramatically.

It was Loki.

The whole time.

Loki tried to rape you.  To claim you, to own you, to make you his.  Once and for all.

“Surprise,” Loki grinned, cheesily.

The room was full of silence and rage and disbelief.  Steve’s mouth dropped to the floor.  Tony was frozen.  Thor was standing in front of the God of Mischief with anger written all over his face.  

Bucky was clenching his left fist.  Rage, fury, and everything like that was surging through his body, fueling his veins and his muscles like oil.  He was ready to rev up like a car and deliver a blow to knock Loki out.  He was about to punch the life out of Loki, but Steve and Tony were holding him back.

“Bucky stop!  He’s not worth it!” Steve shouted, and Bucky finally resisted the urge to smack some sense into Loki.

“Can I punch him after you're done talking to him?” Bucky asked.

“Sure,” Tony said.  “Now start from the beginning.”

Loki took a deep breath before starting.

“Everything was fine without you, Bucky,” Loki started.  “Without you in the picture, Y/N would have been mine.  My queen.”

“Yet she didn’t kiss you,” Bucky muttered.

“My plan was to get Bucky out of the picture first,” Loki said.

“So that’s why I was feeling so shitty today,” Bucky realised.  “What the Hell did you give me?”

“Same thing, roofies,” Loki admitted.

“Where did you get them from?” Thor asked.

“Bucky.  I stole them,” Loki said.

“Continue Reindeer Games,” Tony said.

“I thought if I could make Y/N believe that Barnes was a true villain, then she would be in the palm of my hand.  If I could make Bucky do something that would hurt her in unexplainable ways, I would win.  So, if I was able to transform into Bucky, while she believed he was sick, I could make her mine.  

“I was going to take her somewhere that Bucky would, for example that weird diner.  At the diner, while she was in the bathroom, I snuck a roofie in her glass.  She drank more than enough to get the job done.  But the drug takes 30 minutes to kick in, so I stalled for some time and right as we pulled in the driveway, she was done for.  I helped her to my room, and I undressed her.  Then I undressed and I was on top of her, but then you barged in and ruined my plan.” Loki said.

Everyone was appalled by his confession, Bucky more so than anyone.  He was appalled that someone could go to such extreme levels to do something that chaotic to someone.  It was worse than H.Y.D.R.A. and that was saying something.

“How did you know the answers?  How did you know my mom’s name?” Steve asked.

“Truth be told, I didn’t.  I just took a wild guess,” Loki chuckled.

“If you loved her, you wouldn’t hurt her,” Bucky said.  

He was getting emotional.  The thought of someone hurting you, raping you, was bringing tears to his eyes.  He loved you with all his heart, and he couldn’t let someone do those things to you.  

“If you loved her, you would tell her you love her.  You wouldn’t force her to love you.  You wouldn’t force her to be something she isn’t.  Hell, you wouldn’t put a relationship, my relationship with her, in danger.  I was one of the first people to meet her.  I have known her longer than you.  I know she would kill you right now if she wasn’t drugged.” Bucky said.

“I’m the God of Mischief.  I show my love through actions, not words,” Loki smirked.  “Besides, aren’t we all sinners?”  

Bucky was about to go kick Loki, but Steve held him back again.  But Bucky was too hurt, too angry, to let Captain America stop him.  He shoved Steve off of him like he was a doll and he proceeded to Loki.  Tony tried blasting Bucky, but with his new vibranium arm, he was invincible to a little blast, even though Tony promised him he could hit Loki.  He was able to throw Tony across the room, as if Tony was a pebble.  But then Thor stood in his way, blocking him from his target.

“James,” Thor started, but Bucky wasn’t hearing any of it.  Bucky just walked past Thor.  

Thor wanted to stop Bucky, but he was in this spot before.  Seeing so many people die, that he cared about, put some perspective in him.  On one hand, Thor knew stopping Bucky was the right thing to do.  After all, Loki was his brother.  But on the other hand, Thor knew he would beat up Loki to a pulp if he was in Bucky’s position.  Loki deserved to be in Hell with Hela for his actions.  So, he let Bucky proceed.

“THOR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  STOP HIM!!” Steve shouted.

“No,”  Thor said.

Bucky was standing right in front of Loki, looking at the God with such hatred.

“You’re my mission,” Bucky said, before blowing Loki dead in the face.  

Bucky kept hitting Loki like he was a punching bag.  Bucky punched him in the face, the chest, the stomach, anywhere he possibly could.  Hitting Loki was getting all the rage, frustration and sadness out of the Winter Soldier.  Blow after blow, Loki's head kept bouncing back and forth.  But Bucky kept swinging.  Blow after blow, Bucky could feel the tears running down his face.  The emotions were pouring out of him, uncontrollably.  He was letting the tears run down his face and on Loki, and he delivered one, final, head crushing punch in the face.  

With that punch, Loki was all bloody, even worse than before.  He had two black eyes, bruises, scrapes, cuts, anything you could imagine, it was there.  Blood was rolling from the top of his head to his chest.  His eyes were closed, but he was still breathing.  

Bucky got off of Loki and started to cry into Steve’s shoulder.  Steve was taken aback.  Bucky had never done this before.  So when he did, Steve felt like he was getting a bit of the old Bucky back.  After a few minutes Bucky calmed down, wiping the tears off of his face, and standing stronger than he was before.

“Tony, you and Thor take Loki to Fury.  Fury will have a field day with him,” Steve ordered.  

Tony gave Steve a little salute and Thor nodded before obeying his orders.  Tony carried the God’s legs while Thor took his back, and they carried him out of the room, not being careful.  Bucky and Steve could hear the two of them purposefully bumping Loki into furniture.      

“Can I see her?” Bucky asked, hopefully.

“If you go now, she will still be out,” Steve reasoned.

“I need to see her, awake or not,” Bucky pleaded.

“Ok, just let me know when she is awake.  You know, she might not be able to remember what happened tonight, so if you want to explain it to her, go ahead, but you always know where to find me,” Steve said, giving Bucky a pat on the back before following Tony and Thor.

As soon as Steve left, Bucky ran to the medical wing.  He had to see you, make sure you were ok.  He had to explain what happened.  He had to tell you he loved you.  He had to make you his.

Once and for all.

[aaronhart93-archive]

hospital || aaroman

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @romanbeckett

When: October 13, 2020

Where: hospital

mentions: @quentindelancret

Description: aaron rushes to the hospital after he finds out roman’s been hurt

Trigger Warnings: blood, mentions of hate crime/physical assault, self blame, severe injuries

Aaron. 

Aaron literally couldn't see straight. He practically felt his whole world fall apart when Quentin texted him to tell him to come to the hospital and that there had been a bad attack. Of course, Aaron's mind literally jumped to the worse case scenario as he scrambled to find his keys and get his shoes on. He had to remember to breathe because if he didn't keep reminding himself to breathe in and out, he would forget to. Tears were pricking at his eyes as he gripped the steering wheel towards the hospital, nearly hitting a biker as he sped through the streets. Thank god it was late or else it would have taken him forever to get there. The nurses of course gave Aaron and issue about going back, even after telling them over and over again that Roman was he partner. So he had to bribe them, and he did it without hesitation too. "Roman." He sniffed, sitting at the side of his bed and grabbing onto his decorated hand immediately, squeezing it softly. He took a deep breath. "Roman. Holy fuck. I'm so sorry."

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman wasn’t overly coherent. His brain was still truing to take in what had just happened. He wasn’t sure what condition he was in, and more importantly, how Q was doing. He felt so guilty. He should have never tried to wear makeup, and draw attention to them. He knew better, from personal experience, and yet still did so anyway. When he heard Aaron’s voice, the actor felt bad, but couldn’t help but also feel relieved. “It was my own fault.” He answered in a scratchy voice, wincing when his blood pressure cuff started fo go off again.  “Can Jus’ add this to the list of stupid things I’ve done. I should’ve just stayed home.” He closed his eyes, and hit his morphine button.(edited)

Aaron

Aaron shook his head and held his boyfriend's hand tightly. There was nothing about this that was Roman's fault. He could see the makeup running down his eyes though so he knew that that was what Roman was referring to when he said that he shouldn't have drawn attention to himself. "Babe, It's not your fault. And I shouldn't have left. If anything this is my fault. If I didn't pick a fight with you, we would've been in bed together right now. I -" He felt his throat tighten, and tears once again prick at his eyes. "I'm so sorry. Fuck." He kissed the back of Roman's hand then pressed his forehead to the actor's hand.

Roman.

felt like the guiltiest person in the situation. He as always, was running from his issues, and suffering the consequences of covering his sadness with wreck less behavior. “This is not your fault.” He assured the smaller, looking at the business man through his lashes before he realized his face was still covered with dry blood. “Could you...help me get cleaned up?” He asked pitifully, just needing to be clean, and free from all this dried blood. “how’s Quentin?” He asked desperately.

Aaron

Obviously Roman was going to tell Aaron that this wasn't his fault and obviously Aaron wasn't going to believe him. He was going to think this was his fault for the rest of his life. No doubt. Aaron perked up and nodded. He sent a quick text to Quentin to see how he was. "He was the one that told me to come. So I think he's okay. I just texted him though." He assured his boyfriend, grabbing and paper towel and putting some soap and warm water on it. He sat on the bed and hover over his partner, looking like a hurt puppy when he finally realized just how fucked up Roman was. He was never not going to feel guilty for this. "Do you remember what happened?" He asked, pressing his lips together.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman watched his boyfriend as he texted Quentin, and then got a paper towel to help clean him up. Why hadn’t a nurse done this yet?! Maybe he was expecting too much, too soon - but he hated looking like this in front of Aaron. If the roles were reversed, lord knows he’d be a fucking mess. “I remember what started it. They were making fun of us, of me.” He emphasized, and then leaned his head back on the pillow behind him with a sigh. “Calling us all the great gay slang names, the usual. Quentin jumped one of the guys when they made fun of my makeup, and made some comment about me giving them a blow job, and it all went downhill from there. I jus’ remember them punching Quentin, and I jus’ - fuck.” He shook his head, and took in a shaky breath. “There were a lot of things I should have done different tonight.”

Aaron

Aaron took several shaky breaths, trying to keep himself calm as he cleaned his partner off. If he cried in front of Roman, he knew that that would just set Roman off too and he didn't want to make the other more upset that he already was. And God - this story was exactly like what had happened to him before. What if Roman didn't feel safe in New York anymore? Aaron should have been there. Roman was his boyfriend and it was his job to protect him. Aaron squeezed his eyes shut and took another shaky breath. "You didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't have left. I was going to say I was just being stubborn. I'm going to find out who did this." He assured him, because that we the only way he thought that he could possibly make up for this.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman didn’t want Aaron feeling like any of this was his fault. They’d had a fight, couples had fights, but that didn’t mean it was Aaron’s fault that Ro got HURT. That was ludacris, and he needed the man to see that. “Baby, this is NOT your fault. Okay. Look at me.” He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand, forcing him to keep eye contact. “I chose to go out. I made this decision, not you. Ended up getting a friend hurt in the process, and I fucking hate myself for it.” He admitted with a break in his voice.

Aaron

He opened his eyes to look softly down at his boyfriend. What would he had possibly done if something worse had happened to him? His life without those green eyes was something he couldn't think about. Nothing that Roman could say was going to make him feel any other way, so he just nodded softly and pretended to agree with him. "Let's agree that it wasn't either of our fault. It was the guys who hurt you." He said half heartedly.  "I'll call Nick tomorrow." He promised, getting back to work on the blood all over his face. Obviously, Aaron wasn't going to let these people get away with what they did.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman just nodded when Aaron tried to come to an understanding, getting where he was coming from, and feeling the need to swipe his thumb over his boyfriend’s knuckles. “No rush. I jus’...I don’t know that we’ll be able to find them, I feel so —“ he didn’t even know what to say, shaking his head before taking in a deep sigh, eyes now tearing up because he couldn’t stop himself from being emotional apparently for two damn seconds. “People are allowed to do this shit, and they always get away with it.”

Aaron

Aaron just shook his head. "I know, I know. But you have Aaron Hart on your side now." He tried to reassure him, even forcing a smile. "In the words of Roman Beckett, we will figure it out." He couldn't count the amount of time Roman had said that to him and they were in fact able to figure it out. He forced a smile, trying to believe this himself. He finally got him as cleaned up as he was going to get without a proper shower. Aaron told Roman that Quentin eventually texted him back to report that everything was okay, and that Dorian would be there for him soon. "Now, when else do you need?" He asked after he'd gotten him cleaned up and as comfortable as possible.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman just shook his head when Aaron asked what else he needed, because honestly...he couldn’t think of anything he wanted other than Aaron right now. He needed him, wanted him, desired to go back in time and make that argument not happen. If he would have been more open, then everything would be okay, and he wouldn’t be in this hospital bed right now. That was a hard pill to swallow. “You should go home and rest...I don’t want you to have to sleep here.”

Aaron

There was no way Aaron was leaving roman’s side. Was he crazy? If it were up to Aaron, he would leave his boyfriend’s side for weeks. “I’m not leaving you.” He shook his head, as he grabbed his hand again. He leaned down to place a soft peck on Roman’s forehead - he didn’t want to hurt him but he also wanted to squeeze him so tightly so that nothing this had would ever happen again. “Are you sure you don’t need anything? I can send Landon.” He told him.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman managed a smirk when Aaron said he wasn’t leaving him, and then kissed his forehead, making him fond way harder than he really meant to. He couldn’t help it with Aaron. “Honestly?” He sighed, and then looked down at their hands together. “I know it’ll be difficult, and the bed is bloody small, but I really want you to get under these sheets with me right now.”

Aaron

Aaron eyes brightened at his words. Smiling, he immediately kicked off his sneakers and crawled next to him in bed, snuggling underneath the covers next to him. “Am I hurting you?” He asked. The literal last thing he wanted to do was get up out of this nasty hospital bed, but he didn’t want to cause Roman anymore pain than he was already in.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

Roman looked so fucking relieved when Aaron got in bed with him, immediately snuggling up to his boyfriend as best he could without pulling any tubes, or putting himself in too much pain. He didn’t even care if it hurt at this point, he just wanted to be with his man. “No baby. You’re perfect.” He hummed, and turned his head to kiss Aaron’s chest before his arm was wrapping around his middle. “I love you, and I’m so sorry.”

Aaron

Aaron wrapped his arm around Roman as tightly as he could without causing Roman any pain. He craned his next to look at his boyfriend when he spoke to him. Shaking his head, he took a heavy deep breath. “No no. Don’t do that. Stop that.” He demanded, kissing the top of his head and trailing his fingers up and down Ro’s back. He would much rather be snuggling in Roman’s bed right. Where they should have been. But he was just happy that Roman was in his arms right now.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

They were gross, and that was that. As usual, they couldn’t even make it a whole day “fighting” without something happening to bring them back together. Maybe that was love, the kind of love that Ro had yet to experience before Aaron. It was a level of comfort he couldn’t describe, but he wanted to. “I don’t know when they’re gonna let me out of here, but I wanna go home.” He mumbled against his boyfriend’s chest, still buried there to feel and hear the heartbeat that seemed to keep both of them going.

Aaron

This didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be right? This was all some crazy nightmare that he was going to wake up from in the morning. He was going to be next to Roman and he was going to be okay. By the looks of his injuries, it was going to be a while until they would let Roman out of here. Aaron wanted whatever Roman wanted, but right now he just wanted his boyfriend to be okay and if that meant he had to stay here for a while then so be it. “I’ll talk to the nurses. You know I had the bribe them to get back here.” He tried to get Roman to laugh at least a little bit. He forced a short chuckle.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ✩

“Don’t act like it’s hard for you to bribe anyone.” He sassed his boyfriend, lifting his chin to smirk up at the other male, taking a moment just to stare at him before he was sighing, and pressing his cheek back to Aaron’s chest, just clinging to him with his arm tight around his middle. He just wanted to cling to the man forever now, because with Aaron he felt safe, like no one else could ever hurt him, and that was such a good feeling.

[bohemiansweede]

Valentines Confessions

Valentines Confessions

Fanfic

Pairing Roger Taylor Reader

Warnings Smut 🔞

A/N Please like and reblog or if you want leave a comment

Thank You

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-Ohhh for f*** sake... Nooooo... Not now... Shit..

The old car maked a last sigh and made a stop on a the remote road

- No.. No.. Please.. Not here..

It was not even my car

My boyfriend was by now probably furious and sat at home impatient and waiting for me to cook his favourite valentine dinner

I sighed out loud and banged my head in the stearing wheel

Did I even love this guy anymore?

Past few months we had been arguing and dribbling back and forth with being together or not..

I went out from the car and slammed the door

Where the hell was I..

It was almost dark and thoose few houses near the road looked abandoned..

Probably eating romantic dinner with candles I huffed for myself and started to walk

Fuckin perfect.. His car choosed to stop functioning again.. today of all 365 days.... .

And of course it started to rain.. Wow..

Could it be any worse now.. Yes.. there it was... I suddenly lost my balance on the little gravel road.. fell and scraped both my hands

- AHHH DAMNIT!!!

I'm the middle of everything my bad luck turned and it seamed was someone home in the last house down the road

I brushed of my knees a bit and rang the door bell

After a while the door opened and a blond man stared back

I could not believe my eyes

- Evening mam

- H.. Hi.. Ehh.. Exuse me Sir..

He must have seen that I looked like a drenched mess

- Are you OK dear? He saw my muddy hands, even if I tried to hide them in pure embarrassment

- Actually not.. M.. My car have broke down just down the road here and.. Shit.. I have to call.. Ohh no..

- S'alright.. Please come in, he took his warm hand on my shoulder and smiled gently.. I am Roger.. btw, you can borrow my phone while I have a quick look at your car OK?

I tried to smile back but it probably just looked odd, he nodded at me and grabbed his fur coat while I sat myself down on shaky legs by the phone

Shit... Shit shit... It was HIM!!! HIM!!! Roger FUCKIN Taylor!!!

I seriously had a crush on this guy.. But hey.. Honestly.. Almost every girl had.. No.. I could not do this to my boyfriend, even though he had cheated on me several times.. It was not my style.. but.. this could also be my one chance... Damnit...

Same time that I put the phone back down he returned through the door, he ran his fingers through his blonde hair , the little shorter style looked good on him

- Sorry love, I could not start it, and everything is closed by now

- That what was I afraid of.. My boyfriend is not happy at home .. He... I started to shake

I told him everything.. Peter had yelled on the other end, called me by many names but my own, he threatened me that I didn't have to bother coming home at all and he would spend the night with his ex

- Look.. I had a few whiskeys.. Otherwise I could... mmm.. So sorry.. I don’t know you, but you are freezing cold and it is dark outside, let me warm up some food for us while you take a bath ok?

I almost started to cry

Roger had a bad boy reputation but he also had a softer side, I had always known that

It was a big house but not a mansion, I knew his girlfriend just left him, everyone thought they actually were going to tie the knot and getting kids but no...

- Let me know if it's warm enough, he returned from the bathroom

- Ohh I'm sure it will be fine, thanks for your kindness

My both palms were OK, it was just dirt and clumpsyness

While I laid back in the hot bath I let my thoughts wander off and it felt like I been in there forever and soon my water was cold, I stepped out from the tub and wrapped myself in the robe that he gaved me, could I be that mischievous that I would tell Roger that I did recognised him and that I was a huge fan...

- Hi... Was it nice with a bath?

- Yes.. It was lovely, thank you

- Wine?

- Please... Thanx..

He had made an huge effort to set the table, lighted candles and all

- I hope you are not vegetarian

- God no... I love meat...

You both blushed, what did you just say

- Well... Dig in then... Bon appetite

He raised his glass and winked

- Wow, this was incredible.. And the sauce.. Just wow..

The meat was so tender and juicy I nearly moaned while eating, I guess he noticed because he watched me with a smile

- Was it that good huh?

- Mmhuhmmm..

We finished the plates and bounced down in the sofa with the remaining wine...

- I have an other bottle here love, just keep drinking.. For us lost souls.. Sooo... While we prepare for desert and the alcohol is kicking in... Anything you need to confess?

I nearly spat out the whole wine, it was like he already knew

- Ohh.. You first Roger, go ahead

- Hmmm... I thought I was supposed to be a gentleman here, well ok.. Don't get mad at me.. But I could probably fix your car ...

- Oh, really.. Why don't you?

- When I saw you so drenched from the rain and a broken shoe.. So wounerable.. And the final nail in the coffin was when I found out that your boyfriend was a prick... I could not.. But.. would you rather..

- No.. No.. I... I am so thankful for everything you have done for me.. really am..

- He is not worthy you... you know

- Roger... You don't know me.. I..

- So.. What's your confession?

- Ohh God.. Really? Damn it..

- How bad can it be hunnie?

Oh fuck this was it

- I know who you are

- Aha? Ok..Right.. So.. You like our music or are you a fan?

- Damn wine... I am a fan...

- OK... Hmm.. And who is your favourite member then?

- Omg... No... No you can't ask me... Ok... Shit.. You... It's you Roger..

He smiled with his whole face and touched his lower lip

- Hmmm.. So now you have your once in a lifetime opportunity here, what do you want to say or do? Autograph?

- Actually.. I know I probably gotta regret this both if I do and if I don't... But... ca... can I kiss you..?

I regret my blunt words at once, how could I be so stupid

My heart nearly bounced out from my chest, my cheeks burned

He didn't say a word, it felt like forever, but the magnet force between us grew stronger, his face were so close that I almost could count his thick eyelashes, his hot breath tickled my lips and I parted mine slightly, I let out a tiny whimper when the edge of his tongue nudged mine, his hand trailed through my hair in the back of my neck

My lips parted even more and he looked into my eyes

- Care for desert now love?

I could only nod, this man did something with me..on purpose and I was a trembling mess from just a look, I followed him like a lost puppy out in the kitchen

- I have Ice cream is that OK?

I needed to cool down so that was totally fine

He grabbed two bowls and two spoons and gaved me a soft kiss..

- How many scoops do you like my dear?

I stood close to him and could not resist to have a taste I took my finger and poked in the center of the bucket and then put it in my mouth, his eyes widened at once

- Oh.. Is it that game we are playing tonight.. OK..

He took his finger and dipped it down the ice-cream himself but instead of putting into his mouth he smeared it down my neck..

He bent down and licked it up with long strokes

I gasped of pleasure and grabbed my hands on the kitchen counter

His finger dipped once again but this time he let it trail down my sternum towards my heaving breasts

- Omg.. Omg Roger..Ohh shit... I want...

- You want what? Ice-cream?

- Y.. Yes..

Sometimes that smirk was so annoying..

Our lips crashed together again, this time it was more hunger, more frustration

I unbuttoned his shirt still kissing him, he moaned into my mouth

I dipped my finger once again in the melting ice cream and teased his collar bone with finger and tongue, then the ice cream dripped down towards his nipples I was fast to wrap my lips around it and circled my tounge in a rapid pace

- Ahhh fuck.. Baby.. Shit... I want you so bad... God..

His words made my skin prickle with goosebumps.. Roger Taylor. He wanted me...

He pushed me towards the counter and I jumped up on the cold marble surface

He stood between my legs and grabbed my breast in one hand and twisted the nipple with his fingers

- You're so beautiful... Cannot believe that prick..

- Ssscchhh Roger...I don't want to think of him now...

His hands started to wander down my belly and inner thighs

- Can I have my desert now hunnie

- Oh.. Yes.. Yes please...

He bent down and when he spread my legs the juicy labias opened up like a book and he could not hold himself any longer

He grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to the edge of the counter, he open kissed my folds and trailed his eager tounge like trail of fire up and down before he pushed it in deep

- Ahhh shit Fuck Rog

I grabbed his blonde hair like my life depending on it and felt his long tounge bending inside me right on the spot that crawed attention his button nose nudged my clit over and over and it was just matter of seconds before I felt my walls start to collapse, the vibration from his moaning sended me over the edge and I wrapped my legs around his neck so I couldn't fall

- Omg omg shit Rog.. Ahhh damnit fuck...

- Mmmmm.. That was the best desert baby...

He licked his fingers and stood up

- Do you...

- Yes.. I have pills...

- Ahlright... Fuck..

He took his cock and pushed tiny tiny bits at a the time.. You're tight love...

Soon we became a rhythmic monster a trembling unison a thrusting wreck, we both moaned, phanted screamed growled.. I never had such an euphoric extacy before

He snapped his hips so fast that I thought my legs were numb he spanked my ass and I bit his neck almost so he draw blood we were like animals

I squirted over and over, it ran from his body down on the floor

He took one hand down between our bodies and started to circle my clit again, I was so over sensitive but I had to come again, one last time

- Oh God hunnie.. Fuck I'm close.. So close shit

- Ahhh Roger OMYYYGGGGODDD!! ...

I contracted around his cock and emptied him on his cum

His head fell in the crook of my neck and I felt his heart beating fast

He stood there for a long time, right there where he were supposed to be, we fitted together like a jigsaw puzzle

- Stay here... Don't go back to him

I knew he was right and I knew I wanted to

This was just the beginning...

I had found my missing piece of the puzzle

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

More Valentine reading

Enjoy more reading in my masterlist

[bobasheebaby]

70 Scrubs Prompts

Yup, another prompt list. Most of these are actually light and funny, though some are a little heavier. I tried to pick ones that would work outside of a hospital setting. Again it’s super long so cutting at 15. 

1 “And who’s to say this isn’t what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won’t come true? Just this once ... “ — John JD Dorian

2 “Look NAME, I don’t know if it’s possible for me to put how I feel about you into words, but I guess I’ll give it a shot. I never really believed I’d find somebody that I love as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. NAME, I love you more than FRIEND.” “Oh my god” “It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's true.” — John JD Dorian and Elliot Reid

3 “I grew up on the street ... No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.” — John JD Dorian

4 “As I looked at all the relationships around me ... Some that had gone on forever ... some that were reigniting ... and some that had just begun ... I realized something: It should have been me.” — John JD Dorian

5 “NAME, you can’t test love. When I met NAME, it seemed he/she was more in love with his/her best friend than with me.” “Honey, they’ve got that almond biscotti FRIEND loves, so I was wondering if I could borrow some money so I can get him/her some.” “No, you got him/her a present yesterday.” — Carla and Turk

6 “You’ve been wrong so many times that I'm not even going to say something is wrong anymore. I'm going to say that it's 'NAME'.

— Perry Cox

7 “I just took a pregnancy test, just tell me when a minute's up.” “I just put some pizza rolls on the microwave oven; the minute that bad boy rings we're good to go.” “Oh, my god, I can't stand it, 30 more seconds.” “OK baby, don't get too excited, they have to cool off for at least a minute.” — Carla and Turk

8 “So, uh, you going to lunch with your brother/sister?” “Yeah, I... well, you know, I would've invited you, but I already made the reservation for two.” “So call and change it to three.” “Ohh, I'm not gonna mess with that hostess. You know, she uses sharp tones.” — Elliot Reid and John JD Dorian

9 “Nothing in this world, that's worth having comes easy.” — Bob Kelso

10 “Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.” — Elliot Reid

11 “I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.” — Perry Cox

12 “Oh, my God! I'm gagging and vomiting at the same time. I'm... I'm gavomiting!” — Perry Cox

13 “So he/she has a cute butt. Everyone has a cute butt. I have a cute butt.” “You should bring it in someday.” — John JD Dorian & Carla Espinosa

14 “The problem with people who only want what they can’t have is that once they have what they want, they don’t want it anymore.” — John JD Dorian

15 “I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do whatever you can to make ’em happy.” —John JD Dorian

16 “The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones that make up who you are as a person” — John JD Dorian

17 “‘Cause even if it breaks your heart to be ‘just friends’, if you really care about someone, you’ll take the hit.“ — John JD Dorian

18 “The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.” — John JD Dorian

19 “Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.” — John JD Dorian

20 “Sex is only good for two things. Making babies and revenge.” — Jordan Sullivan

21 “What's going on?” “I love you too dumpling, but I have to work late. I'll make it up to you this weekend.” “NAME’s on the phone with his/her mom/dad/parent, so we're taking five.” — Jordan Sullivan, Ted Buckland and Perry Cox

22 “By the way, NAME’s here but I'm not going to kiss and tell.” “Oh really? Cause I just got your text that said "bone city".” “Oh really? That came through?” — JD and Elliot

23 “You're gonna love it here, sport.” “Get out while you still can.” “Uh...” “Seriously, get out while you still can.” — Bob Kelso, Ted Buckland, and Keith Dudemeister

24 “Ted, what are you doing?” “I like to do stomach crunches after lunch.” “Ted, lunch was four hours ago.” “Yep, I wasted most of my Tuesday.” “It's Wednesday.” “Aw, man! I missed SHOW!” — John JD Dorian and Ted Buckland

25 “Well, it took a whole tube of gel, but I finally got my hair down.” “No one male or female ever cared, NAME.” — Ted Buckland and Perry Cox

26 “Thirsty, huh?” “Helps the tears taste less bitter.” “Cheers.” — John JD Dorian and Ted Buckland

27 “I have to get ready man. I want my date with NAME to be perfect. What do you think about a romantic horseback ride on the beach?” “Ooh, like you and I did for your birthday.” “Yeah but except this time with two horses.” — John JD Dorian and Turk

28 “I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her?” “She's pregnant, she's not a bull.” — Elliot Reid and Turk

29 “This is why the headache didn't go away, it is actually pronounced 'analgesic', not 'ANALgesic'. The pills go into your mouth.” — Turk

30 [She/he sees NAME holding a beer] “What are you doing? [He/she threatens to open it] “You better not open that.” [He/she opens it] “Okay, you better not drink it.” [He/she takes a sip] “All right, You better not enjoy it.” [He/she expresses enjoyment, person A bitch slaps his/her beer] “Did you just bitch slap my beer?” “Are you calling me a bitch?” “Yes. Yes, I am!” — Carla and Turk

31 “Is there another guy on this planet who is that sensitive?” “Okay, let it out. I've got you. NAME has got you. Hold me tighter, a little too tight...There is a good spot.” — Turk and JD

32 person a “This plan is fool proof.” Person c “That is impossible. You two are involved.” Person c “We will see about that!” [Person a and c crash into each other as they try to walk away] — JD, Perry Cox and Turk

33 person a “I don't think we have anymore wine. NAME, can I have some of yours?” [Person C’s narration: I felt like NAME was starting to blame me for all of this.] [person b Spills his/ her wine in person c’s face) “I spilled mine too, honey. You know what you should do? Ask for some NAME’s.” [Person C Spills his/her wine on his/her crotch] “I spilled mine too.” — Carla, Turk and JD

34 “Wait NAME! I have an idea.” “You have another idea? Well I've got to tell you, I'm done with your ideas and not just for now but forever! Okay, are we clear on that?”  “It's a good one.” “I'm listening.” — JD and Turk

35 “He/she is not allowed to dream about me. It gets too freaky in there.” “Cirque de Soleil freaky. One time, he/she was skinless.” — Carla and Turk

36 “How often do you make love?” “Twice today.” “Actually it was three times. You were asleep for the last one.” “Wow, that really happened? I thought it was weird that you were in one of my sex dreams.” — Marston, Turk and Carla

37 “How was your first stress-free day?” “Horrible. And you?” “Worse. Let's make a baby. If it doesn't work this time I'll kill myself.” “Not helping with the stress.” — Carla and Turk

38 “Dude, there you are. Two things; First, the aliens are here and they're wearing track suits.” “Oh, that's Nana.” — Turk and JD

39 “Are you nude right now?” “Yeah! How'd you know?” “Your voice is always higher when you're nude.” “That's true.” “It's not weird you know that at all.” —JD, Turk and Perry Cox

40 “You know, I actually like NAME. So, don't do that thing you always do.” “If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with NAME anymore.” [Later] “Behind your ear.” [Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear] “My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell NAME we're still playing.”— Elliot Reid, JD and Turk

41 “Dude, he/she keeps a hug schedule with his/her friends!” “Okay, NAME ... looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?” Person B Narration: He's hurting! Hug him/her ... hug him/her now! — Turk and JD

42 “Dude, don't sweat it - It says here that the ostrich is generally a docile creature.” “Thank God!” “It also says their kick can kill a man!” — Turk and JD

43 “Just don't repeat the same mistakes you made with me. For instance, don't speed down the road pretending your brakes are out. I don't care if it got you laid once in high school. It is not funny and I still have not forgiven you for killing that pony.” — Elliot Reid

44 “NAME, I don't photograph well. On my driver's license, I look like Gary Busey.” — Elliot Reid

45 “We have a very complicated past.” “Yeah, I hurt him/her, and I'm not proud.” Person B narration: I'm a little proud. — Elliot and JD

46 “NAME and I keep it superficial.” “Love the superficial. Dynamite teeth today!” “Oh thanks buddy!” “Sparkly.” “Yeah!” — Elliot and JD

47 “Will you tell me what NAME’s fantasy was?” “Nope.” “Did it involve chains?” “No.” “Whips?” “Mm-mm.” “Candle wax?” “No.” “Role-playing?” “No.” “Lasers?” “Mm-mm.” “Hamsters?” “Negative.” “Was he/she a Mexican apple thief?” “If only ...” — JD and Elliot

48 “Why don't you just move into my place?” “Oh, great, then we'll be two losers under one roof.” — Elliot and JD

49 “NAME, what you said before ... I knew you were right. Anyway, I'm sorry I got mad. You were wrong about one thing, though - we are moving forward.” “NAME, I'm thirty years old; I'm single, I'm homeless, and I'm pretty sure I just soiled myself.”

— Elliot and JD

50 Person A “Ohhh, my God, you're right.” Person B “Don't let him/her be your puppet-master.” Person C “Hey!” Person B “Hey.” Person C “What's up?” Person B “I have a headache.” Person C “Take some aspirin.” Person B “Don't tell me what to do! You're not the boss of me!” — Carla, Elliot and Jake

51 “I've never connected with a guy/girl like this before. I mean, even though it's only been two weeks, I already feel like I know NAME better than I know myself.” “What does he/she do for a living?” “I should know that.” — Elliot and Carla

52 “Look, the reason I've been acting so weird and having my friends hang around us all the time is because I really think that we have a shot for something great, and I don't wanna go and ruin it by sleeping with you too fast. I mean, what was I supposed to do?” “Well, you...you could have just told me that.” “Yes, but you're forgetting I'm a crazy person!” — Elliot and Jake

53 “I've seen the Wiggles live in concert ... twice.” “Did they perform 'Big Red Car'?” “They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome.” — Perry Cox and Turk

54 “What's wrong with me?” “You're an annoying, whining man-child.” “That question wasn't directed to you!” “What question?” — JD and Perry Cox

55 “I’m notifying all my old boyfriends/girlfriends today that I'm officially off the market.” “I'm sure the 'pulse' setting on your shower head will be devastated!” — Elliot Reid and Perry Cox

56 “If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you can't schedule love.” “I think your credit card statement would beg to differ.” — Bob Kelso and Perry Cox

57 “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man/Woman Not Caring.” [points to self] — Perry Cox

58 “If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.” — Perry Cox

59 “Should I talk slower or get a nurse that speaks fluent moron?” — Perry Cox

60 “Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?” — Perry Cox

61 [thinking] Why don't I ever listen to me? — JD

62 “And you know what else? I quit!” “No you don't!” “Well I'm leaving early today!” “No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!” “Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!” “Whatever.” — Ted Buckland and Bob Kelso

63 “Your dog is creepy.” “Aww...be nice to Rowdy. The guy we bought him from used to keep him in a box full of old hats.” — Elliot and JD

64 “I thought we cared about each other ...” “Oh please, if you didn't want to sleep with me, you'd have done the same thing.” “Well, I'll tell you one thing, the last thing in the world I wanna do is sleep wit'cha now!” “Do me right here.” “Okay.” “See!” — JD and Elliot

65 “Huh! I put all those fliers up, and nobody wants me to live with them!” “Oh, come on, NAME. I'm sure you'll eventually find a roommate who's a... clean, non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower thoroughly after each usage.” “Oh, well, if you don't, it gets mildewy.” “You know, you should move in with my friend: Anal McLooney.” — Elliot and JD

66 “You know, I've been thinking a lot about us lately.” “Me too.” “God, you drive me crazy.” “Oh, you drive me crazy!” “Sometimes I just lay awake at night, thinking about how unbelievably lucky I am to have you in my life.” “Sometimes you're so controlling it makes me want to strangle you..” — Paul and Elliot

67 “Tonight, I am going to make all of your fantasies come true.” “You know, NAME, I would be happy just to have sex above the covers once.” “Yeah ... never gonna happen.” — Elliot and Paul

68 “You know, it's funny... when I said "I love you," it was an accident - and I never really loved you at all.” “That is an absolute riot.” — Elliot and Paul

69 “Okay, here's what you do: First you say that, even though our relationship is ending, you don't have any regrets.” “Oh, my God! Are you actually telling me how to break up with you?” “You're right. Go ahead.” “If you could just start me off, that'd be super.” — Paul and Elliot

70 Person A “You never explained that U2 thing, did you!” Person B “You know, I've been thinking about it, and maybe it's not such a bad thing that that happened! Right? I mean, things have been going really well between us, and maybe it was fate! I could've been looking at my Bel Biv Devoe CD and said, "I love Bel Biv Devoe" - which I do, by the way. And I'm not ashamed of it.” Person A and B “That girl is poison..." Person A “NAME, look, I just think that if you guys are meant to get to this point, it'll happen... naturally.” Person B “You're right! "I love U2!" Dammit! Why do I always have to say every little thing that comes into my head!? Ugh, I really wish you wouldn't stand so close to me after you take your hummus break. See! I didn't need to say that! I'm gonna tell him.” Person C “Love you!” Person B “Love you more!” Person A “Ugh!” Person B “You know what - brush your teeth, then judge me!” — Carla, Elliot and Paul

[laylacooke]

Chemicals React || Ari & Layla

timing: the night after the wolf pack meeting. parties: @letsbenditlikebennett & @laylacooke summary: Ari & a medicated Layla have a heart-to-heart. ♥   

Everything about today had left Ariana feeling frustrated. Not even a run left her feeling better though now she at least felt exhausted enough to melt into the bed. She was done trying to reason with Lucas for the night and it felt like Layla was taking forever to get home. Staring at the ceiling was the only thing she had energy to do. Not even heating up some of the venison stew she’d made sounded appealing. Just sitting here, in mostly silence, while Celeste was working an evening shift and Ulfric was keeping watch outside the trailer. She considered joining him and hanging out for a bit, but she knew she was in a bad mood and didn’t want to take it out on someone who had shown her nothing but support. So she laid lazily in bed, humming along quietly as the Petals for Armor album played over the speakers. She’d smelled Layla before she heard the door to the room click open, but hadn’t moved until she saw her, slowly sitting up on the bed. “Hey,” she said, somewhat awkwardly. After chatting with Simon, she wasn’t really mad anymore, but she still felt kind of sad about the whole thing. She wanted to be someone Layla and the rest of the pack could turn to. Not just someone who was potentially attracting even more hunters to town and overcrowding Ulfric’s trailer. 

The drugs in Layla’s system had been the one thing that got her through everything at the hospital, well that and Rio being there. But she had missed Ariana being nearby, because Ari had been the one that made it feel like she could bear the weight of the world. Coming into the room feeling like everything was okay for once, she flipped on the light not even processing that Ariana could’ve been asleep. The ‘hey’ had startled her, “Whoa! You’re totes awake. So not expecting that cause you never texted back, but my phone died, too, which sucks, because I had to walk like miles to get back here. But don’t worry! Everybody’s safe. Not even Rio knows how to get here. I just followed the yellow brick road. Hey.” She was a mess, her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying she had been doing, and her brain was on overdrive while her body just wanted to sleep. “Are you still mad at me? You said you weren’t, but I feel like you are.” She walked over to the bed and fell down onto it face first next to Ari making sure to clear her cast so she could avoid feeling even more pain.

It was hard for Ariana not to laugh at Layla’s rambling greeting. The pain medication was definitely still in effect and she watched as she plopped face first into the bed beside her. It was kind of cute how long winded she was under the influence. If she had much of a filter to begin with, it was entirely gone now. With a light exhale, she said, “I broke my phone earlier. Long story. Okay, not really, I threw it after Lucas sent something to me and well, it shattered. Been getting everything downloaded back on the new one since we got home.” She looked down at her hand now in a cast, “How’s your hand?” As upset as she’d been earlier, it was nice to have Layla home and know she was okay. It hadn’t been long, but she’d gotten kind of used to having her around and they had fun together. At the mention of being mad, Ariana sighed, leaning back down beside her and propping herself up with her elbows. She looked to Layla and explained, “I’m not still mad at you. Really, I’m not. I was… well, I was more hurt than mad but I think I kind of get it now. You’ve been on your own for a while, but I don’t know. We just share a lot and I want to be the person you can come to when you need help, not the internet. That, and I kind of just… worry, you know? Because obviously I’d have to eat someone if they hurt you.” 

Layla rolled over onto her back, so she could have a proper conversation with Ariana. “Are you okay? Do I need to go eat him? Because I will eat him, but not tonight, because I’m soooo tired. Plus, my hand is kind of starting to feel all achy again. But the doctor gave me more pills, so I can feel better. Yayyyyyyyy!” Even though she was loopy, Layla could still process what she had done to Ariana. She could still feel the sadness and depression lingering just inside of herself. The pain medicine was a temporary fix, and one that she knew would run out sooner rather than later. Looking over at her friend, Layla stuck her hand in the girl’s face, “Wanna sign it?” But she soon pulled it back and laid it across her stomach as she listened to Ari explain how she felt. It broke Layla’s heart knowing she had done that to her friend, and while she had already piled it on top of everything else, she had least wanted to speak from her own heart, that wasn’t completely numb at the moment, “I’m sorry, Ari. That rhymed.” She paused trying to regain her headspace, “I’m sorry, Ariana. Just after everything that happened, finding out about Salva, and then the meeting wasn’t what I expected...I never meant to hurt you. And I know you’re trying to help. You guys have already done so much, and I was scared that if Ulf found out about my hand that he might kick me out. And I know going online was stupid. I get it, but I’m still a kid, and getting kicked out when you’ve never lived on your own, it’s scary. Like really fucking scary. And I don’t always make the best decisions. I just have so much going on inside, and I don’t know how to deal with it all…”

It was kind of amusing to see Layla acting so goofy. Ariana laughed a bit and assured, “No. No eating Luke. He’s being weird about getting help with the whole security thing to catch this hunter. We argued a little. It’s fine now.” She raised a brow at Layla, “Just don’t take too many now. Glad the hand isn’t hurting as badly now though.” She laughed at the cast waving in her face. There was something very carefree about the action that put her at ease. “Yeah, I’ll sign it in the morning, feeling a little too lazy to go grab a Sharpie.” She turned over onto her side and rested her head on her palm, trying to watch carefully as Layla processed things and spoke. More than anything, she wanted to understand. Maybe it would make it easier to help her and make her believe she really did want to be here for her. She cracked a small smile at the rhyme, “I’m sorry, too. I know you’ve been through a lot and I just want to help and make sure you’re safe.” She quietly listened as Layla explained what was going through her head. It didn’t all make sense to her, but she was trying to peace it together. Why did she think Ulfric would kick her out? She was definitely jumping through a lot of emotions right now. Ariana did her best to keep her own features soft as she nodded along. “I can’t say I get what you’re going through, but I’m here anyway. What happened with Salva anyway? He’s the one who turned you? He seems like a huge dick, honestly. And Ulf isn’t going to kick you out because you hurt your hand. Seriously, I know he’s like a huge dude, but he’s pretty cool about things. I literally broke into a mime restaurant while there were murder mimes and I’m still here. I know it’s a lot, but try to remember you’re not alone. You’ve been having to fend for yourself for a while through all this and you don’t have to anymore. You have us and we want to be here for you, if you’ll let us.”

Layla tried to focus on Ariana’s words, but the medicine was making it hard, and before she realized it, she was on her side staring intensely at the girl laying in front of her. When Ari had finished speaking, the red-head slowly started to formulate thoughts in her head knowing they were having a serious conversation, even though she wanted to do anything but that at the moment, “You have, like, such pretty fur…” Shutting her eyes tightly, she spoke to herself, “Focus, Layla. Focus…” Replaying the convo in her head, she opened her eyes again, “I want that, too. It’s just so hard to let my guard down, when I’ve lived like this for almost a year, and some really scary shit happened while I was on my own.” She sighed, Salva coming to mind, “Ugh, that grimey bastard. He’s basically my wolf daddy. But it’s okay cause I broke his fucking nose, and I would gladly do it again in a heartbeat, because he’s the one that made me what I am. And like no offense to you or any of your wolf friends, because I know like being a wolf is everything, but I was born a human, and I miss being a human, and I miss my friends...I miss Frankie...I miss the way she would hold me and tell me she loved me and the way she would...the way s-she would…” Looking into Ari’s eyes, she could see the kindness and the softness in the way she looked at Layla. Without thinking, the young wolf raised up onto her arm, leaned forward, and planted a soft kiss on Ari’s lips, before pulling back. Realizing what she had done, she quickly rolled back onto her back and stared at the ceiling in silence.  

It was hard not to giggle a bit at the mention of pretty fur. Ariana shook her head and realized she was staring at her a bit intensely. She slyly answered, “You know, when we’re not wolves, you can just call it hair.” Maybe this wasn’t the best time to be having this talk. It seemed like Layla could hardly focus on her words so she just sighed lightly, watching her. More than anything, she was just happy her friend was okay. She listened, trying to further understand, sleepily nodding along, “I get that it’s hard for you to let your guard down, but I promise if you need help, I’ll always be here for you. Even if I’m mad or it’s not easy, we’re family now, okay?” She gave her long red hair a gentle pet and tucked her arms back under her own head. When she mentioned what happened with Salva, she felt herself tense up. She knew she didn’t like that dude. She continued to listen and as she was ready to say something along the lines Salva is an asshole and she understood missing her old life, she was surprised to feel Layla’s lips pressing against hers. For a moment she froze, unsure of how missing Frankie translated into… well, that. Her cheeks were bright pink and her face felt flushed as she stared up at the ceiling. She hadn’t hated the fact that Layla kissed her, it just left her feeling confused. It was probably just a being high on pain meds thing. They were friends and she missed her girlfriend. Or maybe- She cut the thought of anything more than that off. Sure, Layla was gorgeous and they had a lot in common, but her friend had a lot to figure out still. They both laid there staring up at the ceiling before she finally said, “Yeah, I get that. Salva’s an ass. It’s getting late, though. We can talk more tomorrow.” Her eyes were still looking straight up at the ceiling, still nervous to look back over at Layla. 

Stupid, Layla. Stupid. Stupid. It was sobering, yet she found herself wanting to kiss Ariana again. Maybe it was the lack of human touch or maybe it was the medicine. Whatever it was, she secretly enjoyed it, but had Ari? It was wrong. She knew it was wrong, but considering she had said her goodbyes to Frankie, she wasn’t sure what her future held. However, she couldn’t bring herself to look back over at the other girl, “Uh, yeah. I think that’d probably be for the best. You know, when I’m not high on pain medicine.” A small smile slipped across her lips. She would forever be curious about what her friend had felt, but there was always the chance Layla would feel different come morning, if she could even remember. Okay, yeah. She’d remember that. And she’d be willing to accept the consequences of her actions tomorrow, but tonight, she was just going to enjoy it and enjoy not really having to think or feel the heartbreak she had been living in.

[andyquhyn]

prompt list #4 (spotify version)

(based on my top 2019 songs from spotify, can be used as dialogue or just as ideas! also please don’t roast be about my songs rip)

Make It Alright by WILD: “Whatever we can get through is what makes us survive.”

Good Nights (feat. Mascolo) by Whethan: “We were perfect as fuck, making dreams about our lives up in the stars.”

Burn The House Down by AJR: “Way up, way up, oh no, we gon’ burn the whole house down.”

Only Got Eyes For Her by Ezra Jordan: “I’m going out my mind, thinking ’bout the one I should’ve never left behind.”

Passenget Seat (feat. Kora) by Clueless Kit: “You know this is who we are, this is what we do, driving in circles til’ we find something new, the only person I enjoy sitting in the car with is you.”

seasonal depression by mxmtoon: “We’re all just trying to get by, searching desperately for bits of blue in the sky.”

There’s Still A Light In The House by Valley: “When she crash, she brings a storm in, I kinda like the way it pours.”

RUNAWAY by half·alive: “I find that everything I am is everything I should be, I don't need to run away.”

Choke by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: “If I could burn this town, I wouldn’t hesitate, to smile while you suffocate and die.”

Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier: “Be still my foolish heart, don’t ruin this on me.”

Happy Man by Jungle: “It all could be different, time to do something new, I’ve given everything, I want to be a happy man too.”

Not What I Meant (feat. Lewis Watson) by dodie: “Will I have grown a little empire, or made a fucking mess?”

Be Mine by Ofenbach: “And if you wanna fight, let’s start the show, ’cause I want you to be mine.”

Sanctuary by Joji: “Not anyone, you’re the one, more than fun, you’re the sanctuary.”

Casio by Jungle: “When all your dreams are gone, and you’re still holding on, you waited far too long.”

Wildflower by Dutchkid: “I never knew that I could love like this.”

Arms Unfolding by dodie: “But here I am with arms unfolding, I guess it isn‘t quite the end, oh, partner in crime, I’m going to try to fall in love with you again.”

Preacher Man by The Driver Era: “I’m ashamed of the dark places I have been, fix my soul so I don’t lose a love again.”

prom dress by mxmtoon: “I keep collections of masks upon my wall, to try and stop myself from revealing it all.” 

Blame It on Me by George Ezra: “When I dance alone, and the sun’s bleeding down, blame it on me.”

Surround Me by LÉON: “Baby take me outside, kiss me in the moonlight.”

Work by Charlotte Day Wilson: “’Cause people come and go, but I think you should know, that I think this will work.”

Glory by The Score: “I’ll be written in the stars.”

Take Me With You by Wingtip: “Our hearts don’t break, they just rearrange.”

Cold Cold Man by Saint Motel: “You're the only one worth seeing, the only place worth being.”

Runaway Kids by HARBOUR: “We’re the runaway kids, let’s escape, we’ll get there some day.”

Monster by dodie: “Two ugly creatures, two sinister preachers, blind to the past, like a couple of monsters.”

Runaway Goliath by Mantaraybryn: “Are you just gonna stay in the shade when you were made for light?”

HandClap by Fitz and The Tantrums: “You’re like a drug to me, a luxury, my sugar and gold, I want the good life, every good night, you’re a hard one to hold.”

Swim by Valley: “Swim with me, get to someplace better, I’ll be waiting on you forever.”

home ft WALK THE MOON by morgxn: “I’m going back home to the place where I belong, there’s nothing like it.”

arrow by half·alive: “I know that I can’t run forever, but I can’t stand still for too long, this heart is afraid to beat slowly.”

NASA’S Fake by Raffaella: “Jesus Christ, gimme a break, is there a pill I can take?”

Better Not (with Wafia) by Louis The Child: “You know it in your gut you’re healing, from every time that you’ve been hurt before.”

Side Effects by The Chainsmokers: “It’s 4AM, I don’t know where to go, everywhere is closed, I should just go home, my feet are taking me to your front door, I know I shouldn’t though, heaven only knows.”

All My Friends (feat. Tinashe & Chance the Rapper) by Snakehips: “My eyes are black and red, I’m crawling back to your bed.”

So Close by NOTD, Felix Jaehn & Captain Cuts feat. Georgia Ku: “Have you ever wondered if you loved me harder, where we’d be now?”

I’m Good by Wafia: “Finally got back everything I gave to you, every part of me that I left in your room, now I really don’t care what you do, or who you do it with, I really don't care, I think I just quit.”

dream of you by mxmtoon: “I had a dream about you last night, and you said your last goodbye, I woke up to wipe my tears, although I said I’d never cry.”

Colder Shoulders by Gabe Fleck: “I can’t hide from what is destined for me.”

Last Dance by Rhys: “Oh if all we ever had was an illusion, and if we gave it every chance.”

Send Them Off! - Whethan Remix by Bastille & Whethan: “I’ve got demons running round in my head, and they feed on insecurities I have.”

Bad Days by Chance Peña: “All I know is the weight on my shoulder won’t hold me down.”

Crimes by Gallant: “And honestly I can’t keep overlookin' all your crimes.”

Check It Out by Oh The Larceny: “I’m gonna light it up.”

It Ain’t Wrong Loving You by HONNE: “Don’t care what they say, I will have my way, ’cause it ain't wrong loving you.”

wish you were gay by Billie Eilish: “I can’t tell you how much I wish I didn’t wanna stay.”

my ted talk by mxmtoon: “I’m fooling myself over something I don't know.”

Never Been In Love by Will Jay: “I’ve never been in love, and it’s all good.”

I Believe in Us by WILD: “Don’t think about the fear that much, we’re gonna be alright.”

Pure Gold by half·alive: “Wait, for the tides of change will come.”

blame game by mxmtoon: “I put my heart into us, and I was the one to crack it in two.”

Genesis by Daniela Andrade: “But first I gotta let go of the things I tried to be.”

Save Me From Myself (with NoMBe & Big Gigantic) by Louis The Child: “So won’t you save me from myself right now, right now, ’cause I feel like someone else, somehow.”

You And I by LÉON: “But in my head, oh, you say, say you still want it, that you’re done with being lonely now.”

Blue Hundreds by Holy Mattress Money: “What’s electric more than two lovers?”

I Like (the idea of) You by Tessa Violet: “I like the idea of you, wonder how it’d be to love you.”

Green by Cavetown: “I hope you feel happy, that’s all I want.”

Superlove (feat. Oh Wonder) by Whethan: “I’ve been looking at your face, it’s dangerous, making me so goddamn crazy.”

She by dodie: “I;d never tell, no, I’d never say a word, and oh, it aches, but it feels oddly good to hurt.”

Debbie by Your Smith: “What did you get me into? This always happens when I listen to you.”

Prophet by King Princess: “I can only think about you, and what it’s like to walk around you.”

Tell Me by Spencer Sutherland: “Tell me where your heart lies, and I know where your heart lies.”

Juice by Lizzo: “It ain’t my fault that I'm out here makin’ news.”

If I’m Being Honest by dodie: “Could you love this? Will this one be right?”

mime by Isaac Dunbar: “And now all I’ve got is broken bones and cheap skin to hold me.”

Maybe by half·alive: “Realize I’m at war in my own mind.”

Alps by Novo Amor & Ed Tullett: “I would break every inch of my love.”

Waiting for You by The Aces: “It’s getting frustrating waiting for you, I think you know what I want.”

Your Voice by Moira & Claire: “Your voice keeps playing inside my head like a song I can't get out.”

From Eden by Hozier: “Babe, there’s something tragic about you.”

Beige by Yoke Lore: “Let me go under your skin, and let me find the demon that drives those heavenly limbs.”

still feel. by half·alive: “Trying to recognize myself when I feel I’ve been replaced.”

Someone That Loves You by HONNE & Izzy Bizu: “Whoever said it was easy must have had it pretty good.”

Find Someone by A R I Z O N A: “Picking wings off of angels has always been my religion.”

Do It All The Time by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: “We’re taking over the world, a little victimless crime.”

Sick in the Head by Jackson Penn: “My love for you is deeper than the ocean.”

Boys by Lizzo: “Baby, I don’t need you, I just wanna freak you.”

bad guy by Billie Eilish: “Bruises, on both my knees for you.”

CAN’T GET OVER YOU (feat. Clams Casino) by Joji: I can’t get over you, and before I die I pray that I could be the one.”

Rather Be (feat. Jess Glynne) by Clean Bandit: “But as long as you are with me, there's no place I’d rather be.”

Chateau - Acoustic by Angus & Julia Stone: “Don't be scared of what you don't already know.”

Blue by Samuel Larson: “We swear that this is love, but we keep feeling smaller.”

Boys Like You by dodie: “You thought you could charm me, and, damn it, you’re right.”

Cherry Wine by Hozier: “Open hand or closed fist would be fine, the blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.”

Wait by NoMBe: “Let’s make it last forever, ’cause the night’s still young.”

Rivers and Roads by The Head and the Heart: “Been talking about the way things change.”

Human by dodie: “Will you share your soul with me?”

Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier: “That’s the kind of love I’ve been dreaming of.”

Show Me The Way by Penguin Prison: “I’ve never been anyone that I want.”

The Fall by half·alive: “I’d jump off and into your arms, but if I can’t trust the fall.”

I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers: “So now I’m standing on the overpass screaming at the cars, hey, I wanna get better!”

Work Song by Hozier: “No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her.”

Talk Too Much by COIN: “Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up.”

Low by JR JR: “All the looks are saying, nothing in life is free.”

What You Know by Two Door Cinema Club: “I can tell just what you want, you don’t want to be alone.”

Burned Out by dodie: “I am burnt out, I smell of smoke.”

California by The Lagoons: “I’ve been on the run, just to get a moment with you.”

Radar (feat. HONNE) by Whethan: “Tight on my grip and I won’t let you slip away.”

ok ok? by half·alive: “Felt it rippin’ me apart, to find my place among the stars.”