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#or feel like im actually doing something worthwhile
wayward-wren · 4 months
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Is there any point in praying and hoping for good things when they haven't been promised in this life?
Is it not better to focus on trusting God and being content in the mediocrity than to pray for something that won't be given and become bitter about it?
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end-orfino · 5 months
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ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it
#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something#but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized.#and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this-#-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace-#-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller#which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this#and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely#oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it-#-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart#so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it.#fun./sar#i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to#because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get-#-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of#its probably the resilience though#im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically#this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it#just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear#it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over.#i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts#this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement.#its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every-#-time achievement#what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past.#even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again#if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa
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miamicommune · 5 days
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orbmanson7 · 9 months
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:(
Very bad grade in therapy today
#thought i could make progress this year and yet here i am having done jack shit by now#what has even been the point#i just wanted to do something today that didnt feel awful like try to encourage people to watch a show or play a game#and now im just right back to Why do i bother staying alive? im never going to make any progress#and even if i do I'm going to just be worthless the whole time and waste precious resources others could be using#oh yes just try saying a nice thing to yourself for once! yeah sure that will help when i cant do anything worth a damn#i want to help people but i have no skillsets and no money to further my education and teaching myself gets me right where i already am!#continuing like this is like spitting in the face of anyone who is actually out there pursuing their dreams and thats not fair to them#they put in all that hard work and im over here being a whiny ass bitch bc i want so badly to do better and learn more#but the only thing holding me back is that im a dumbass who cant do anything right and no one will ever think differently#why am i trying to make myself something i can never be? what is goddamn point if its just a waste of everyones time and effort#i just... it feels like the least i can do is just stop taking up space#free up some oxygen for someone who really needs it and shelter for someone who truly deserves it#i shouldnt even have these things and yet i complain about how much gas i have to pay to commute to my jobs#like such an asshole#and i said i so much in these tags bc im such a selfish jerk who coearly doesnt care enough nor has a worthwhile vocabulary to say otherwise#theres just no fucking point to any of this#...#its cold today#might be a good day to do my favorite plan#actually yeah fuck it im gonna go#hope you all stay kind to yourselves and enjoy your 2024#you absolutely deserve it and everything you can get out of it#keep being amazing yall#see you on the flip side or whatever#orbs thought bubbles
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weirdlizard26 · 1 year
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ngl. now that i have a diagnosis i feel like ive lost a part of myself lol
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thechildisgone · 2 years
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working at the resale shop tomorrow woo
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i-am-thevoid · 27 days
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love checking out of another shift where i am treated less than everyone else and have to pretend i didnt hear shit that makes me fucking uncomfortable and going home and trying not to fucking end it
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wispered-dream · 3 months
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:T
'I was raised/abused by people who used their illness as an excuse to be horrific towards others and said I wasnt ALLOWED to question it (because then I'd be Obstinate, and go to hell)'
and 'then I was abused by someone who used their illness as an excuse to be horrific towards others and said I wasn't ALLOWED to question it (because then I'd be a Bigot, and everyone will hate me when I tell them)'
Sure does explain so much about me.
Turns out:
- Didn't go to Hell for being Obstinate
- Extended family laughed and high fived me for joining the 'canceled by XYZ' club
So while I am perhaps oversensitized to "abusing the good will/sympathy of others"
I see that those who do this are in the real hell.
And I've seen how it comes crashing down so so SO slowly.
Abusing the sympathy of others results in people who are wary of extending that sympathy ever again. It's a net crueler world, no matter how much you say "NO NO ONE WOULD EVER DO THAT!"
They do, people take advantage of good will/sympathy. Especially when you can exploit that sympathy for control.
People do it without realizing it too, and enabling that only makes it worse. Protecting the 'abuser'/abuser in the name of "we gotta say it never happens to immanetize the eschaton!" is its own Cruelty.
You're gonna damn each other if you put yourself in a place where people are too fearful to tell you you're being unfair. Claiming '-ism' like a YuGiOh trap card [especially to people who are victimized by that -ism, RIP] is a fantastic way to do that.
People learn to ignore the ableism accusations or treat it like a joke. And it's not JUST bigotry, as neat of a solution as it sounds. Someone comes out with a Caard of all their mental illnesses and I'm asking myself 'why' not because GRRR HATE MENTALLY ILL, but because there is still a motivation there.
'If you ask why someone would do that you're a bigot!' okay so are they trying to establish that they want special treatment or needs. I am excessively empathetic to that.
But it's not 'I forget about messages sometimes [And if you werent mentally ill it'd OBVIOUSLY be because you just dont care?*] or might infodump [on nerd websites? How dare you!*]', it's "Here's the disorder I say I have according to the description I give of it, if it's contrary to any knowledge, experience, or literature on the subject it's because you're a bigot."
Personally I just try to treat everyone assuming they COULD be ill, I find everyone could use kindness. I think that's a better model, but the neurodivergent are uniquely suffering or whatever.
"It's not that I want special treatment, I just want to be the same as everyone else gets to be" You are imagining an ideal that does not exist. Even the fabled Neurotypicals are deserving of things like Patience.
See to me it looks like you're only willing to offer those kind of things to people who will tell you their psychiatric histories. My experience with people who have done the caard thing has so regularly been such! Whereas my experience with people who have severe illness [a majority of my friends] are much more *example* or *event* focused.
#theres a third part where someone attempted to do that#and it was harmful to the friend group and only got worse and worse over time as everyone was scared of#one person inconsistently attacking others for percieved slights#I was far enough from the sun to avoid consequences of the implosion and y'know#I really don't think theres a solution to this other than just ignoring the 'youre being ableist by saying I cant steal!!'#Got like 30 witnesses that can affirm that it was bullshit. I could produce a thick dossier proving the parties here are what I say#Got a few 10s of Thousands of hours spent considering 'was I actually in the wrong' and man#All evidence and affirmation and therapy and meditations point to 'why didnt I stop it sooner'#makes me question my skepticism wondering why this keeps happening to me#possible event 4 comes and nah. not again. what a shame. but I am not giving a chance beyond evidence again man#Part of me wants to ignore red flags but I think that part of me might just be blind#and how have I sacrificed worthwhile friendships because I didnt want to abandon someone?#how many times did I recognize that my description inspired fear/anxiety in my friends and take that as affirmation#without extending that affirmation to 'you need to do something!!'#how many times do I scream where few can hear instead of disengaging?#how many times have i let the 'I dont want to be a bad or cruel person'#override everything telling me to run or fight?#be a social fawn you wont hate yourself for it! you can complain on tumblr or to your closest friends instead!#yet the complaining never calms the feeling I am betraying myself!#either betraying the part of me who fears the hell my 'friends' are creating for themselves#or betraying the part of me who has a fucking right to fight and be obstinate#What solution exists where I dont feel like Im betraying myself in some way?
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lady-lessobian · 9 months
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okkotsyui · 1 year
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˗ˏˋ BAEK DOHWA . | relationship hcs and scenarios
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being in a relationship with baek dohwa is anything but easy. if its not his endless teasing, its the jealous fangirls. if its not them, then its the constant questioning from others about your relationship
to put it simply, it was hard work
but then, nothing worthwhile was ever simple and straightforward, and there was never a day where you didnt feel loved and appreciated by dohwa, so it worked out perfectly fine. if you believed in soulmates, then you wholeheartedly thought that baek dohwa was yours, and you were his.
the two of you met through sooae, as she was a mutual friend between you both. she had introduced you two and all of you, including eunhyeok, had started hanging out more often
however, sooae started to 'conveniently' bail on days where the four of you had planned to go out, and began to drag eunhyeok with her, leaving dohwa and you alone. during these times, the two of you began to spend more time with each other, resulting in a stronger 'friendship' between you and him. you two quickly became the other's best friend, and could always be seen next to each other
(literally the embodiment of best friends to lovers)
however, as expected, there was backlash to your friendship with dohwa. almost daily, you had random girls coming up to the two of you and bothering you and him, always causing some sense of awkwardness even after they had left. the fact that you may have started crushing on your best friend didnt help either, jealousy always brewing inside you whenever some other girl took his attention away. it wasnt ideal to like someone who only saw you as their best friend, but it couldnt be helped. practically nobody was immune to his 'charm'
unknown to you, on the other hand, was that dohwa had been feeling the same as you had been. keeping his own feelings under wraps was difficult, even for someone like him. every hug, head pat .. any form of affection that the two of you shared had his head spinning and stomach flipping. also, whenever you interacted with a guy that wasnt him, especially someone like eunhyeok, all dohwa felt was a wave of jealousy. dohwa had never truly felt like this for anyone before, and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. confessing was nearly out of the question. sure, he received almost a dozen a day and he knew how to kindly shut people down, but he didnt know how to actually do it himself
you two were completely oblivious to the other, and it drove sooae and eunhyeok insane. in the end, eunhyeok managed to convince dohwa to "grow some fucking balls and confess", suggesting that he slip you a note during class before his confession
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it was the last period of the day - mathematics. you could barely keep your eyes open and your head laid against your desk. closing your heavy eyelids, you were about to fall asleep when you felt a scrunched up piece of paper hit the side of your head. groaning, you sat up and turned to your right, glaring at dohwa, who had thrown the note at you. taking the paper in your hands, you unfolded the note and read its contents,
'meet me by the gate after school'
was all it read. you turned to face dohwa with a confused expression on your face, but he was already facing the teacher again, seeming to be unaware of your stare. sighing , you put the paper into your skirt pocket and waited for the class to end
half an hour later, you walked out of your class and down towards the shoe lockers, changing out of your slippers into your outdoor shoes, and made your way to where dohwa had asked you to meet him. dohwa was stood next to the school gate, phone in hand. as you approached him, you noticed that his facial expression was different from its normal relaxed state - he looked nervous. making your way to his side, you prodded his shoulder, eliciting a small jump from the male before he realised that it was you
"well, im here. did you need something?" you asked your best friend, slightly curious as to why he wanted to see you here instead of the two of you walking home as per usual. "yeah, i kinda wanted to tell you something.." he trailed off, shoving his now turned-off phone in his pocket before averting his gaze from your face. "for the past few months, i guess that .. uh", he hid his reddened face in his hand, "well, i like you. a lot, and not in a friend way" dohwa finished, now reduced to a embarrassed and blushing state. your face mimicked his own, cheeks flushed and the tips of your ears tinted a bright red. wrapping your arms around his torso, you hid your face in his chest, muttering out your own confession. dohwa smiled at your words, leaning down to press a kiss on the crown of your head, holding your body in his arms
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dohwa as a boyfriend is quite similar to how he was as a best friend; nothing much changed about him. except now, he was much more affectionate and very open about it
you could be talking with your friends during breaks between classes and you would feel arms snaking around your waist, and dohwas face in your neck, pressing gentle kisses down your shoulder. your friends would greet him and just continue the conversation, already used to his affection towards you
even the teachers eventually found out, and would coo whenever they saw the two of you together, even nudging each other when they saw dohwa carrying your bag or bringing you a bouquet of flowers at the beginning of the day during independent study. all of your shared teachers had secretly bet on the possibility of the two of you dating, and were some of your biggest supporters not that they were allowed to mention anything though..
thankfully, your parents also approved of your relationship with dohwa, already knowing him very well from all the times that he would stay over your place. they both thought that dohwa treated you well, and even your father treated him like a son. if you have siblings, it doesnt matter if theyre older or younger, dohwa would ensure to spend time with them and maintain a positive relationship with the entirety of your family
arguments between the two of you were extremely rare, as you both understood each other well. but if they did occur, apologies followed soon after and it was almost a rule that you wouldnt go to bed angry with each other, always finding a resolution to whatever had happened. the following morning, dohwa would always buy you breakfast from your favourite bakery and give you an item off of your wishlist as a further apology from the argument, especially if he had been the one in the wrong
your relationship with dohwa was next to perfect, with all of your friends using you two as the 'perfect relationship mould' for their future partners. there was balance in the relationship and you ensured to always have enough time for each other if either one of you were out with your friends for the day. what was the most important thing, however, was that he loved you and you loved him, something that couldnt ever be changed.
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gayleviticus · 8 months
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im certainly not a wonderful saintly christian by any means but idk at the end of the day i read the bible and pray and go to church and talk to people about God because i think knowing God is a worthwhile, meaningful, and rewarding thing.
but some people seem to just not view it that way and i find it very hard to wrap my head around all the underlying assumptions that lead them to beat themselves up for not reading the bible enough or, going cold turkey on movies because they're more entertaining than praying etc. but i guess i think that like, wanting to know God shouldn't be a struggle or constantly beating yourself up or guilting yourself into doing more Religious Things.
ok sure, a certain amount of discipline is kinda necessary for anything you want to do that's worthwhile. a writer needs to push themself to write sometimes. an artist needs to push themself to paint sometimes. even relationships-wise sometimes a parent needs to push themself to wake up early and drive their kid to saturday sport or whatever.
but i feel like your ultimate goal should still be something you genuinely want in a positive, joyful way. if you sometimes need to nudge yourself to read the bible everyday, but it's because you do overall want to deepen your faith, that totally makes sense; it's no different from making yourself run on a day you kinda don't want to because your ultimate goal is a marathon.
but when people view the whole thing as this weird internal struggle where God stuff is threatened by the allures of the world and whatnot it just... seems like an attitude towards faith that has problems at it root.
admittedly i kinda have it easy atm bc i have an autistic special interest in the bible and theology but. idk. it doesnt have to be 'ohno all these other things are dragging my attention away from the bible and prayer and etc' it can be 'ok, what are some ways i can learn more about the bible in an interesting way? what are some different types of prayer i could try?' or even 'am i actually driven by wanting to love God, or do I just feel pressured to be doing this?'
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doodoodinklefart · 3 months
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okAYYYY so ive been planning this au for literally forever and i couldnt get white diamond satoru and black sapphire suguru out of my head... ive seen a couple other hnk x jjk aus floating around but i wanted to take a crack at it!! i'll just explain these three + the setting for now cuz theres a bunch of other shit brewing in my head LOLOL honestly hnk and jjk are pretty different themes-wise i feel so i couldnt rlly help changing a lot abt the world LMAO
in this au its not just a couple gems in the school, there's a bit more of a society and structure outside of it. there are still the three major "clans" though maybe more like major cliffs?? lol?? that the gems are formed in that produce a much higher frequency of strong, high quality gems. i imagine that before the idea of working together (modern jujutsu society) had come about, gems fought to have control of these spots to assure that they would have those to protect them from lunarians (aka curses we're playing a bit fast and loose here). while there were many attempts to merge the clans, the fighting was more a waste of time if anything, so they stayed separate. jujutsu high in this au would probably just be the school, a set of gems that are trained to always be ready to dispatch lunarians and protect tengen (who is the prayer machine here), who has basically been dormant.
and THATS where we get to white diamond. i wanna say while diamonds are p common irl, its rare here for there to be a fully formed diamond lustrous that actually has inclusions. while there have been extremely strong lustrous born from the gojo cliff, white diamond is the first diamond in several centuries, filling a vacancy after others had been taken away to the moon. not only that, he's got special eyes too!! im thinking he can see sunspots from far away, or maybe can tell artificial gems from real ones, like being able to see their inclusions or something. probably both!! either way he has to wear special blackout glasses during the day. his eyes are really reflective so he can work at night too, but that often leaves him restless.
white diamond—in his mind at least—is untouchable, and really it may as well be true. due to the combat training that he's gone through and his hardness of 10, he has never sustained so much as a scratch. he had a tendency to break all of his sparring partners back home, and thus he feels he's hit a brick wall with his training, and that the only things that will come close to putting up a challenge are likely lunarians. he doesn't really care much for weaker gems at this point, and is eager to finally fight lunarians for once. eventually, he is sent off to the school to begin what he would call "actually worthwhile" training.
black sapphire, on the other hand, was born practically from nowhere, in a unremarkable place with little more than himself and a few other older gems that were around to help shape him. with a hardness of 9, he was the strongest among them and—after his first dangerous encounter with lunarians—he realized he had an obligation to protect the rest of them. his strength often leaves him feelings alienated, as he normally ends up working alone for fear of other being taken away. i wanna figure out how to incorporate his ct better but for now ill just keep thinking about it. for now, it was probably his strength that got his scouted and sent to the school.
boulder opal, or just opal, is in training as a doctor at the school, and shows extreme promise. her lax attitude reveals none of her medical prowess, especially when it comes to gems with missing pieces. she has a particularly good eye for finding missing shards, or finding pieces that she can replace missing shards with. there's nothing she can do if their inclusions reject the replacement, however. maybe she has a way of resonating with the other's inclusions to speed healing up on bigger points of damage?? idk ill figure it out
ANYWAYYY this is getting super long so i'll end this shortly BUT!!! basically, white diamond, with black sapphire (who he calls saph), and opal are all training under yaga sensei (idk what kind of gem he would be yet LOL). diamond, at first, sees opal and saph as weak, but quickly realizes they have their own feats. saph in particular is the first lustrous that has ever made sparring fun, because while he's less durable his combat skills make up for it tenfold. maybe black sapphire is the first to ever leave a break on white diamond who knows... opal is probably always having to put the two back together. theyve never lost to a lunarian before, and have certainly never come close to being taken to the moon. these two are the strongest together, and each finally feel like they have a place to belong.
alsooo..... they do get a mission to escort a "star plasma vessel" of sorts. tengen slowly erodes over the years and needs a compatible lustrous to replace their missing pieces. boleite (riko) happens to be that gem, and diamond and saph need to escort her.... lmaoaoao now i have to design riko, toji and kuroi...
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drdemonprince · 4 months
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do you have any tips on distinguishing between wanting to bang/wanting to be wanted by/wanting non-sexual intimacy with someone? or is it just a case of seeing how you feel when you're actually with them and getting good at communicating about it
im probably not the best person to ask, because it took me uhh decades of fucking random people before i let myself acknowledge that sex is nearly always extremely boring to me and the only thing i'm thinking about during sex or in the lead up to sex is what i imagine the other person might be feeling about me.
every now and then a raw animal chemical attraction happens where i just feel like i NEED the person in me, i love how they smell and taste and i will risk it all to get them to bust inside me and i want them around me afterward.
but the rest of the time its this completely intellectual fantasy. instead of getting all wrapped up in the sex, or the person, all i care about is what i can convince myself it means. thoughts like this:
"oh this person is hot, it's very validating of my desirability that someone this hot wants me"
"oh that guy came very fast, how flattering that he was so turned on"
"i cant see his face in this position but i imagine that he's staring at me hungrily, that's flattering"
"wow i got someone from grindr to come over within ten minutes, im so good at sealing the deal"
"wow i cant believe i fucked eight people at this convention, how cool so many people want me"
"i've never tried this sex act before, i guess i might as well. maybe itll be useful for my writing. maybe ill like it."
thats the kind of shit that is normally playing around in my mind. when im actually attracted to someone i dont have to come up with some weird intellectual justification for why fucking is interesting or rewarding or reflective of me in a positive way. i just NEED it.
the self help guru mark manson (who is a little corny, but not bad) has this age old advice that "either something is a FUCK YES! or it's a no." and i think for some people, especially people who tend to try and persuade/guilt themselves into wanting things they dont actually want, that is a worthwhile reorientation. if i actually want someone its pretty damn unambiguous. if i have to even ask myself or sort out the true nature of my feelings, im bullshitting myself.
granted this advice wont be best for demisexuals, or for lots of other people. sometimes experimenting and trying new things sexually is great! its just. ive been doing that for a long time. i have been a very open minded, open to experience individual. and now im interested in being picky for a while
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blu-oo · 1 year
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Buggy was Roger’s good luck charm
So I’ve had a headcanon for a while now concerning Buggy and his place on Roger’s crew. It’s no secret that both fans and characters within the One Piece world will look at Buggy and go “How/Why the fuck were you on Roger’s crew?” Hard to say definitively whether or not Buggy actually has good luck considering the absolute hell he has to go through in order to face plant into his power/status, but you still can’t argue that he gains things he is 100% undeserving of lol. Oda’s trolling aside, let’s say that his failing upwards IS purely a result of him having his luck stats set to fucking max with a few buffs tacked on. We can even make this more fun and say the reason Buggy’s luck is so paradoxical is BECAUSE his luck goes to others instead of being reserved for himself (either that or the only reason “failure” is tacked onto this is because Buggy is a jackass and karma doesn’t sleep on her prettiest degenerates). I can see this going down a few different ways:
Maybe they were on an island along the grand line and came across a vendor selling good luck tokens. An ornate looking box catches Roger’s eye, and the vendor starts gushing about how it’s their most “luckiest item” and that it’s very VERY much worth the hefty price tag. It’s also most definitely “a worthwhile investment, trust me! It’ll all pay off in the end!” Whatever that means. Roger’s gut feeling doesn’t need to be told twice, so he buys it. This could be a moment similar to Shanks where they take the box back to the ship only for “SURPRISE! CHEST BABY!” :D to happen again. Roger is no longer allowed to go shopping/haul treasure back to the ship without Rayleigh’s stink eye supervision.
Maybe there’s something similar to the Sabaody slave market where he’s being explicitly advertised as a good luck charm. The person selling him shows off his luck by playing simple tricks (like using cards and gambling with onlookers. Look, if you’re gonna try to sell someone's luck, ya might as well make an extra buck while doing so. And hey, this just proves his good luck charm is working). While the seller is distracted, Roger easily sidels up and eyes Buggy’s mean mug. He asks if Buggy is actually lucky and gets a rudely gestured affirmative. “Great!” He says before yanking the kid up and running off laughing. Rayleigh: what the fuck is that. Roger, tankard in one hand, clown child in the other: a beer.
Maybe Roger just happens upon Buggy and and witnesses his luck in action. Sees how instant karma comes to collect after some pompous jerk spits and belittles little Buggy and immediately he’s shamed and humiliated in front of a bunch of people (in addition to Buggy pit pocketing him in retaliation). He witnesses a merchant make snide and haughty remarks and refuses to sell to Buggy because he’s a visible street rat and then immediately afterwards a flock of rabid seagulls dive bomb his stall and peck at his toupee (a piece of bread is flung and lands right before Buggy’s nose). A group of older teens beating the snot out of buggy and stealing whatever he gained that day only to then immediately run into Roger? Well. Etc. etc. etc. Roger sees all this and more and at this point he decides to take Buggy along just because of how hilarious this all is (Buggy’s eventual love for Roger and therefore his luck beginning to include Roger was just an added bonus).
And since this is such a loose concept (and ignoring that Roger was a D so the following woulda happened anyways lol) we can even say that his luck to Roger is the reason for all the success at the end of his career lol. Edd war? Buggy. Living past his initial expiration date? Buggy. Making it to laugh tale? Buggy, except wait- things didn’t go 100% to plan with that one, huh 🤔🤔🤔🤔 and guess who wasn’t there 🤨🤨🤨🤨 im playing or am i
GASP. OR MAYBE HE HAS ABSOLUTE SHIT LUCK AND HE SAPS THAT SHIT OUTTA EVERYONE AROUND HIM EXPLAINING WHY THEY ALWAYS SOMEHOW LOSE OUT IN SOME WAY INSTEAD OF HIM—
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electricbathsalt · 2 months
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I saw a recent post on r/bokunoheroacademia about “how can you possibly feel bad for Chisaki” and like…it’s not the “how can you feel bad for child abuser” itself that boggs me, but rather how people in comments repeat over and over “oh boss was so kind to him tried to guide him but he still became a poss he was evil from birth” and I’m like where are people who can look above the “what text says” level of understanding
Oh my lords, that’s my least favorite type of Chisaki hater. Like fuck dude you can dislike a character, but 1: do you have to police everyone who does like them, and 2: you clearly didn’t care enough to actually understand his character and story before you decided that there’s no reason to like him/have empathy for him.
What I hate most is not people disliking Chisaki. I don’t really care about that. I hate people who clearly don’t understand the character they’re slandering. If you’re going to publicly complain about a character, please do it while having an actual clue of what the fuck you’re talking about.
“Pops was so kind to him and constantly tried to steer him down the right path!!” Pops was a fucking Yakuza leader who never called Chisaki by his given name once in his life. Meanwhile, we don’t even know Pops’ real name because Chisaki never failed to call him either “Pops” or “Boss”. The “constant steering down the right path” was just “hey, don’t do that violence, only the violence I want you to. Im gonna scold you”. Idk man, but if I had a kid who I picked up off the streets, I’d probably get them into therapy literally as soon as they’d had a drink of water, a good meal, and a full night’s rest. But Pops decided that wasn’t worthwhile even when the child started exhibiting blatantly concerning behavior. He decided slapping Chisaki on the wrist was the most effective method to get him mentally stable. Ah, yes, reprimanding; the best way to get rid of violent tendencies, self-worth issues, and attachment/abandonment issues in your traumatized child, who you are raising in the mafia. Flawless.
Saying Chisaki was “born evil” is actually so absurd that it kinda makes me wanna laugh. It goes completely against what the entire point of MHA is, or supposedly is. Just because his entire childhood wasn’t spoon-fed to you does not mean it was a good one that didn’t at all influence him into being the way he is. Even the absolute crumbs we get from canon don’t imply he had a “good” childhood. “Pops was so good to him, though—“ he was a yakuza leader who integrated the child he took off the streets into his gang, without ever doing anything to help resolve any of the trauma he went through (and inherently gave him more via being in the yakuza). He was disowned by his daughter, who he called a fool for having a rash reaction to her child killing her husband, and never bothered to reach out further to her. He put Eri in Chisaki’s care, knowing of Chisaki’s violent behavior. The only “positive” flashback we ever get of Chisaki & Pops’ relationship is when Chisaki got scolded, and then told “thank you for protecting the Hassaikai’s honor”. And something tells me that any “praise” Chisaki ever got from Pops was to do with the Hassaikai, esp considering Chisaki’s unnaturally-strong dedication to it. I’m tired of people pretending that Chisaki’s pure evil that prevailed over a sweet, innocent man. Chisaki wasn’t even the only one who experienced ill-treatment from Pops—his entire fucking family did.
The other thing is—Chisaki was literally doomed from the start. The only two people we get to know he was ever in the care of were both people who would inevitably turn Chisaki into a criminal/villain. Him being anything else was something that was never even allowed to grace his mind.
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pinazee · 4 months
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Rob-a-bye Baby
Finally some focus on Chief Vick! Kirsten nelson did a great job on the first real ep where she gets to play a more substantial role. (“Head detective my ass” always makes me chuckle) i only wish it had been more. She was more of an obstacle than part of the plot, though i guess technically her character kind of grew at the end. She does admit she was overreacting with Shawn but this realization was done off screen. I’d have loved to see her try to run over her husband, and having a little breakdown. Something that gave her more depth. I want to know who she is as a person. Was she a runner who wanted to get back into it so she can finally have some time for herself? Does she struggle with who she wants to be as a mother? Was the baby even planned? Was she concerned it would affect her job, or her ability to do her job? Idk, just something that added a bit more color to her character tapestry. I think theres a lot to explore here is all.
Perhaps im biased, but i feel like Shawns reaction is a bit out of character. Like yeah, he’d find it a boring assignment but i also think he’d understand how important it is to the Chief and take it seriously. Plus, Gus is right, she gives them cases, it’s pretty important for their business that they remain on her good side. And in the end he didn’t help her at all. The nephew just came back and that was the resolution. i think i would’ve preferred if Shawn had been struggling to find them too. Like every nanny he came across he could find something wrong with them because Chief Vick deserves the best. Or he had a nanny picked out all along, she just couldn’t start right away but he somehow needed the excuse to look into the nanny burglary ring? Idk. I guess its not really that big a deal. Perhaps it was to introduce a flaw in Shawns character. Like they were saying he needs the thrills to make the job worthwhile. Which is fine, i think that aligns with his overall character. In fact, i wouldn’t be surprised if he fucked somethings up later just to bump up the challenge for shits and giggles (which is such a weird phrase btw). I just think in this one specific case, he would have handled it with a bit more care.
Gus’s blimp dance! He’s so excited! After the last ep, i just want him to be happy
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I just wanted to point out the lady who plays ada was in a movie called Wolfcop. Theres an actual movie called Wolfcop.
Chief Vick’s power pose is so strong, it possesses her when she sleeps haha
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Did she just spit her pastry out on the ground??
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This always makes me chuckle because, like, why? Why would they have them go down those hill lol
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I think this is another case of Juliet getting way too into undercover work. I don’t think thats any of her actual wedding or birth plans even if the show made it look like such.
Im so confused why they were at a pet store instead of a pawn shop. What did that guy sell to him? How did the pet shop guy know it was stolen? Unrelated, but it was a nice touch that Shawn immediately spoke in a way the pet shop guy understood, even if it was just for the haha’s.
Gus’s nickname Schmuel Cohen is a real dude! Why does Shawn have the name of the composer of the Israeli national anthem locked and loaded?? The guy died in 1940. When/ how would he know that???
Awww poor Tim!
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Juliet agreeing pivots and divots is fun to say lol
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I wish they could have expanded on Nanny Henry! Like he was going to refuse to keep helping out but Chief Vick broke out her mommy voice and also kind of pleaded with him for help. Then we could have gotten some scenes of them, maybe talking about the past, or Henry asking her to look out for Shawn since he doesn’t have the police as part of his squad and therefore no backup, which Chief Vick explains that he’s practically a member anyways and would be treated as such, not only because of who his dad is but because he’s practically one of her own anyways, so of course she has his back.
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