#or feel free to spam me with pictures i love that rabbit

[spindle-and-nima]

i cant stop saying the word sneeping because of you oh my god its so funny. hes sneeping

Oh my god that's one sneepy boy if I ever seen one

[i-need-entertainment]

Thank you @citrussweetie for the tag! Their post can be seen here~

Game Rules:

Tell me characters you self ship with...

1. The date you wish they’d take you on

2. The date they’d actually take you on

3. Your usual hangout

4. Their favorite thing about you

Washio Tatsuki:

1. I would like to go to the movies with him. To be honest, I don’t really like the movies cause I have the attention span of a small rabbit, but it just seems like it’d be better with him there. After we’d go out to eat somewhere where we could talk about the movie and him making snarky comments about the bad decisions made.

2. I think he would take me on a classic date. Like a nice dinner, and then a walk on the boardwalk (I live by water, and it has always been a dream of mine for the Haikyuu!! Boys to walk with me on the boardwalk😞) where he holds my hand and gives me his jacket when it gets cold. (lol he’s one of the few characters whose jacket would actually be big on me cause I have *shoulders*)

3. This might be weird but hEaR me OUT. Him driving (definitely not cause I can’t..) while I sit in the passengers seat, us going to get groceries or food or something like that. He would let me play whatever music I wanted (@foodacoochie you already know who we’re listening to~) and smile as I beautifully sang along.

4. The fact that i’m reliable. I’m a responsible person, I do what’s expected of me and I do the best I can! I hate letting people down, and I want to be someone people can rely on. I think he’d like that he wouldn’t have to worry about me as much because I am very independent,  I’d also be someone he could go to for his problems because I would listen.

Numai Kazuma:

1. I’d want to go on an amusement park date! For some reason when I imagined going on a date with Numai, amusement park was the first thing I thought of. I just think it’d be so cute!! I’m not a fan of crowds, but I wouldn’t feel uncomfy cause he would be there to ~protect me~😌

2. I honestly think he’d actually take me on the amusement park date! (that or I really just wanna go to six flags right now-) He seems like someone who might be a little clumsy in a relationship at first, and dates is one of those things he just has to get a hang of, so I think an amusement park is a good first/second date cause I think he’d be more comfortable. (Did that make any sense?)

3. Our usual hangout would be at one of our houses just lounging on the couch on our phones with our limbs all tangled together and eating some kind of snack, showing each other funny stuff we find and what not~

4. I think his favorite thing about me would be my character. I’m very morally inclined, and I do what’s right because it’s right, I have a strong moral compass. I think he’d like that because he hates being called a cheater for being on Nohebi, so I think he’d like that, I also can’t stand cheating/lying.

Shirabu Kenjirou:

1. I would like to go to a museum with Shirabu. I love museums, I always have. I don’t even care what it’s about, I love pretty much all subjects, but history museums are my favorite.

2. I think he’d be down for the museum date, but I think he’d choose something like one of those couples paint lessons (?). Like, you go to a one time art lesson where all the couples follow an instructor to paint a picture. idk I just think that sounds like something he’d pick, and it’d be really cute.

3. Probably him making me sit down at my desk and do my homework :p It’s not like I’m bad at school, there’s just so many better things I could be doing. So it would probably be him making me do my homework when it’s assigned, not the night before it’s due😔

4. My bluntness. I am very blunt. I have a filter, and i’m sure it’s in great condition because it’s never been used✌😙. I’m not like Ushijima blunt, I have social skills, but things have slipped before. Nonetheless, I think he’d like that i’m straightforward and to the point.

Iizuna Tsukasa:

1. I would like to go on a beach date with him! For starters, I think he’d look real nice with sunglasses on (don’t judge me, it’s 12:40 am and i’m halfway through an iced coffee, I’m not thinking my thoughts all the way through anymore), and I think it’d be a good relaxation day, to just get away from everything and spend time with each other. I do think he’d splash me, or at the very least try to throw me into the water.

2. I think he’d take me to the mall, where we’d just walk around and look at the shops. I do think he’d be one of the best Haikyuu!! Boys to take to the mall especially if you’re shopping for clothes. He’s stuck between 2 sisters, he knows how to give solid advice without falling into the ‘does this make me look fat’ trap that most boys do. He’d also carry the bags🥰 (whether he does it by will, or by force is irrelevant)

3. Us cooking together! Whether it was baking a cake at 10 pm or making dinner together, I think it’d be fun to cook with Iizuna, and a regular thing that we just did together.

4. My sense of humor. I have a very sharp wit, and that paired with my bluntness has ngl lead to some funny conversations. I think he’d appreciate it because it would let him wind down from being captain of a powerhouse school. Cause with me he gets to be himself, with no pressure to be perfect.

Kunimi Akira:

1. I’d like him to take me to a baseball game. Now, I don’t actually like sports, but for some reason I like baseball. More like I like going to baseball games, cause it’s its own experience, but he would ‘watch’ them with me and eat a bunch of the good stadium food.

2. He’d take me to a concert. I think he would do this for my birthday, cause I love music. Even if he didn’t like the singer/band, he would go just to make me happy. AND, concerts are pretty fun even if you don’t know the artist, so I think he’d enjoy it too!

3. Him laying his head on my lap as he took a nap while I wrote my stories. I think he’d be pretty chill with me simping for fictional men, cause he’s my boyfriend, and it makes me happy so he’s fine with it~ The typing would just lull him to sleep faster so he’d really be fine with it.

4. My laugh. I can’t really explain this one, I was thinking one day and I just thought he would like it. idk man, this one just made sense to me~

Tagging: I highly recommend doing this!! It was so much fun🥺 Also, you don’t have to do as many as I did, I just got carried away! (and sorry for spamming you guys with tags you don’t have to participate!! I just appreciate you guys💗 Feel free to tell me if you no longer want to be tagged I will stop)

@foodacoochie @cowninja1@fushiguroll @motoyafightclub @keijicyl @theuntamedmulti @owlnymph @aquariarose + Anyone who wants to cause it really was fun<3 **also, make a separate post cause this’ll get real long, real quick**

[icouldntfindquiet]

Thanks for the tag @catb-fics! ❤️

1. Why did you choose your url?

I wanted my URL to be my Wattpad account but it was taken. 😭 Then I looked into song lyrics but thought all the good Catfish ones got taken so I looked into The National. At the time, I really loved the song Pink Rabbits so I wanted to pull lyrics from that song and that’s the story! The lyrics are strange but I like it. Sometimes you just want to get away for a bit and find some quiet and Tumblr is my place to do that if that makes sense. 🙂

2. Any sideblogs?

Nope! Just this one. I’m trying so hard not to make another one, hence why I combine CATB and photography on here.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

I’m a longtime lurker! I was avoiding making an account bc I didn’t want to get addicted. But alas I have no willpower and cracked. I made this account end of December 2020 so it’s almost been 6 months?

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Do you mean queue? What’s a queue tag? I did queue my posts at the beginning bc I love that feature. I wish Wattpad had a queue for writing! But I stopped bc I thought it was weird. That people would think I’m online when I’m not if that makes sense.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

The CATB Tumblr community looked like a lot of fun so I wanted to join! Ya know...to obsess over CATB some more as if I don’t do it enough!

6. Why did you choose your icon?

Because Van McCann and dogs! Need I say more?!

7. Why did you choose your header?

I wanted to personalize my blog by adding a picture I took. This photo matched my blog’s color scheme the most.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Y’all love rainbow Van so much! The CATB covers compilation is a close second!

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I can’t be bothered to count but I love them all. ❤️

10. How many followers do you have?

94 but it’s actually less than that bc of all the spam bots that got deleted.

11. How many people do you follow?

50 blogs but most are inactive or don’t post much. I’d follow you all but I HATE having a cluttered feed! I’m the type who has to see everything, and if I’m unable to, it stresses me out. Please don’t take it personally if I don’t follow you! 😭

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Of course! Many times! 😁

Bernie sitting memes: x and x

CAPTCHA test: x

There are more...just gotta dig for it.

13. How often do you use Tumblr a day?

I’m on Tumblr WAY too much! I check it throughout the day.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope! I’m dead peaceful. 😌

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Depends on what they are. If they’re pointless like “reblog this for good luck” then nope. But if it’s important or helpful, then yes. I don’t think I’ve come across many posts like this. 🤔

16. Do you like tag games?

Yeah they’re fun but a lot of work! I think I’ve been writing this for half an hour now. 😬

17. Do you like ask games?

Of course! They’re so much fun! I’m sorry if I’m annoying you with them. 😅

18. Which of your mutuals is Tumblr famous?

Basically everyone! Everyone adds value to the CATB community. You’re all nice and funny people!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No crush but I wanna be friends with all of you. 🥺

20. Tags:

Only do it if you want! And if I missed you and you wanna do it, feel free to tag me! I honestly don’t mind! x

@vanmccannonlyfans @vananamccann @youlovehermadly @louistbottlemen @ifluctuateaboutu @bohf1 @tyyrants @vanmccantfish

[talix18]

November 8

(There's a lot of padding in there.)

I have no free time today in front of a keyboard so I should be writing. Or working. Or listing all the things I forgot as I was half-heartedly packing. Or listing all the things I need to do before I leave so Mom isn’t disgusted when she comes to take care of the cats (Clean The Toilet). I managed to overpack without buying anything new but predictably, am not happy with any of it. This is one of my least favorite qualities about myself. Mom always hated shopping for jeans with me but I find my resistance to packing is incredibly annoying. I’m good at making sure the laundry is done so all of my options are open, but terrible at knowing what I will want to wear once I’m wherever.

I also managed to completely overlook shampoo and body wash on my first round of packing, which doesn’t bode well.

Is there some kind of rule against contractions I don’t know about? Word keeps putting blue squiggly lines under my contractions as if I don’t know what they are. I understand that writing all the words out will boost my count, but it’s not how people tend to talk.

Among the amenities at the retreat center where I’ll be this weekend is a working farm with baby animals. Yes, please, I would like to play with all of the baby animals. When life is complicated and ugly, baby animals are easy and adorable. My sister will be jealous when she sees the pictures with which I intend to spam her.

My sister is one of my best friends and I’m grateful for her every day. I’m not sure she would have chosen the way our lives have played out this far, but she is also unmarried and child-free (that part I’m pretty sure she’s okay with). If she dates, she doesn’t talk about it much with me, but I haven’t seen her in a relationship in over ten years. It was a brutal one. First love, first boyfriend, first break-up all in her mid-20s. Although my romantical adventures have been largely, um, unsuccessful, I am glad I got used to the idea of heartbreak young. (Even the song that turned me from a pop princess to a rock goddess was “Bringin’ On The Heartbreak” [MTV was born when I was in eighth grade and was my obsession for the next five years.])

Def Leppard is how I met my first boyfriend! We were in ninth grade, he was in my homeroom (both of our last names start with “H”), and he was wearing a tour shirt promoting the band’s second album. I was entranced. “You’ve seen them?” (Wanders off down a Randy Rhoads rabbit-hole.) I remember the conversation included something about Ozzy Osbourne and Randy Rhoads; either he’d seen them or was supposed to right after Randy died. Wikipedia tells me that Def Leppard opened for Ozzy at Merriweather, which is probably where A saw them; Randy Rhoads and all. (Now I am irrationally jealous at missing a show 38 years ago.) That’s probably where he got the shirt that made me talk to him; the shirt I made him leave with me when he moved away.

I should probably blame all my romantic misadventures on Def Leppard. They were a “heavy metal” (The lead singer joked “light alloy”) band that appealed to a slightly rougher crowd than I hand previously hung with. A introduced me to drinking beer in the woods by the elementary school (I was all of 13 or 14). The cops came and we ran to his apartment – his bedroom was on the ground floor and we climbed in through the window. We made out for a while to the Scorpions’ “Lovedrive”. A was a bad boy, and it took me a long time to get the taste for them out of my mouth.

A called every few months and my stomach would do flips at the sound of his voice. Did he ever actually say he was coming back for me or did I just make that part up?

My next boyfriend showed up when I was a senior and wreaked havoc on and off for the next seven years. He was a serial cheater and a pathological liar against which I had absolutely no defenses. I was a goody-goody. Teacher’s pet type. There was a pivotal moment one adolescent summer when the decision I made set the course for the rest of my life. I was hanging out in town with one of the tougher girls and her friends, trying to figure out how to smoke, and noticed it was 9:15. Curfew was 9:30, and I was easily a mile from home. I knew that showing up late would mean trouble. Was I going to say “fuck it” and keep hanging out?

I ran my ass off to make it home on time. Goody-goody. This probably kept me out of a lot of future trouble.

I fell hard for S – he was charming and charismatic and sang “Dixie Chicken” and made me laugh. He went to the Catholic boys’ school and was friends with my friend MB’s older brother. By that time I was solidly British pop new wave with some hard rock on the side (much like MTV itself). For the next absurd amount of years either he cheated on me or with me – he knew I would always be there. Until the night when he told me that he knew I was never going to find anyone who loved him like I did and he was ready to commit, but he had to tell me something first. His ex was pregnant and it was his. That was it for me. Finally. “Dixie Chicken” still gets me, as does the taste of Marlboro Reds and Bazooka bubble gum. (I started smoking when he broke up with me the first time.)

After my first college boyfriend (a good guy who is still married to the woman he dated after we broke up), I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone get close anymore. I was done with love; I was going to be one of those distant women who could never be possessed and never get hurt. I imagined veils and fog. If it was good enough for Stevie, it was good enough for me. At that time the idea of “if you want what someone has, do what they do” didn’t include the caveat of perhaps “asking if it was what they wanted and would they make the same choices again.” (I’m not saying Stevie’s not happy with her life, but 30 years ago she may have gently steered me another way.)

My old team leader just came by to chat and now my roll is slowed. She and I have worked together since I started here 17 years ago. My mind is starting to wander since I’m out of here soon.

I do want a partner – for practical reasons as well as romantic ones. I hate thinking that all the good sex is behind me, for one thing. It would be awesome to have help around the house – to have someone motivated to get something done when I just can’t get it in gear. (Much like this writing day. It was so easy yesterday!) (Five hundred more! Push through!)

I’m already annoyed because I’m not going to get my active minutes in today. It’s hard to be compulsive and unmotivated at the same time. I hate the feeling of being rushed – of not having enough time to get everything done. I want to get on the road before 4:30 because it’s Friday rush hour and I’m going around the beltway but I also want to clean the bathroom, scoop the litterboxes, and collect all of the paraphernalia I’ve forgotten to pack. It will be ridiculous if I have to level up a suitcase to go to a yoga retreat. Which is going to be interrupted by my service commitment, which is my decision, but ugh. I would prefer not to.

I’ve had an absurd amount of coffee today! The ideas should be flying out of me!

But where does a forty-ten-year-old meet people if not at work? There are people in all the meetings I go to but hardly any I’m interested in dating. My current working theory of relationships is that you should to the things that interest you. Whomever you meet along the way will have at least one interest in common. The problem with this theory is that carried to its logical conclusion, I’ve been in the wrong place for the past blah blah years. I must not be doing what I should be doing if I’m not meeting people I’m attracted to.

I mean, I know it’s all a crapshoot and our lives are run just as much by chance as by anything else. I can’t even complain about the cards I’ve been giving because I am way privileged. That’s something it took me way too long to figure out. I am a white woman who has always been housed and clothed and fed. I’m cis, I’m mostly heterosexual, and my body still does almost everything I ask of it. I have very little room to complain. I know that complaining about mental illness is something of a luxury – look at all the things going right that would otherwise take priority.

I have to thank the Internet for introducing me to people I would have never met otherwise. Yes, there are many cons to this big-data-driven lifestyle and I panic when my smart phone stops working. Social media absolutely has its negatives, but the people that I’ve met there are none of them. I met my first collection of Webpeeps thanks to FARK.com, but it was LiveJournal and Tumblr that expanded my world view.

(Does one last sentence complaining about being short on word count count as more words? I feel like it’s been all stops and starts today after the Randy Rhoads rabbit hole.)

(P.S. I’m ready to go - plus one big bag - at 3:50. I am the worst.)

[typingoutthoughts]

Enter The Void

Originally Written On 16/FEB/2018

Let me tell you something about me: I drown myself in fictitious fantasies, I fixate myself on internet culture for hours. These cynical and artificial habits allow for a sense of genuine purpose in my life. They provide an escape from the monotones of my own living as I anticipate the next post, the next video, the next meme. Yet somehow, I find it meaningful.

Everything was fine until I gazed into the empty void, where I contemplated on the pointlessness of my own lifestyle. The void had only left me thinking that for the most of my life, I was figuratively watching porn. Like I was luxuriating in indulgences that, like pornography, left me feeling unfulfilled and alienated.

I am alive, but through distractions, I can never live. Only killing time until the next day, until I grow old and realize my life was just a hedonistic version of myself.

Normally, this is the part where I would resort to nihilism so I can seek the whys and wherefores of my life. In spite of that, I am not the only one turning towards such a radical philosophy since nihilism is trending among younger generations. After all, the notion that nothing matters is an intriguing belief for millennials and teenagers to believe. However, if I want to be a nihilist, the least that I could do is understand the causes, the consequences, and what it means to be one. There must be more to nihilism than "God is dead" and "everything is meaningless."

You might think that what drives most millennials and teenagers to be a nihilist is the declining relevance of traditional beliefs. Although you may have a point, these are just the symptoms of the true cause of nihilism. Instead, the trivialization of our ideas and beliefs, into sources of revenue, is what drives many millennials and teenagers into nihilistic thinking.

In a digital era overloaded with information, corporations are competing at a zero-sum-game for our attention in the most inhumane of ways. Since our attention is such a finite resource, businesses are utilizing increasingly manipulative methods to profit from our pleasure-seeking distractions. Picture the 1.8 billion gamers that engage in pixelated content, ventilating themselves of their sadness. The 2.46 billion online users that socialize through black mirrors, feeling less alone in a physical world. The billions of people who watch in screens, to escape their mundane realities. These are the things we do to strive for validity in an economy that only values our attention.

Once we know that our distractions are no longer purposeful, we fathom that we are living in Huxley’s nightmare. A nightmare where “those who would give us so much information that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism.” Think of how Instagram promotes post of picturesque pusses and physiques through likes and shares, undermining our self-esteem. A nightmare where “the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.” Think of how Twitter continues to spread fake news through spam bots and retweets. A nightmare where “we would become a trivial culture.” Think of how Snapchat turns our conversations into streaks, trivializing communication into an addicting point system and quantifying our relationships. The only way out of Huxley’s nightmare for most millennials and teenagers is through nihilism.

Consequently, in choosing nihilism, we can contemplate on how our upheld principles and ideas can no longer be used to insert meaning in our lives because they dehumanize us into sources of revenue for corporations. Dating apps monetize relationships, reducing love into a cycle of swiping and texting. Greedy churches, like Creflo Dollar Ministries, exploit our willingness to donate money out of faith and the common good, for their own cynical reasons, such as buying a $65 million luxury jet. Facebook breaches our right to privacy and security, just so advertisers can target us with personalized ads. "The highest values devalue themselves. The aim is lacking, and 'why' finds no answer", Nietzsche said.

When why finds no answer to the beliefs and principles of nihilist millenials and teenagers, they begin to question the solidarity of their beliefs. Thus, they go down a rabbit hole of existential questions. Why should I attend church if they keep demanding me to donate money? Why should I care about the news, when most of the time, it is just false and/or clickbait? Why do I need to commit to a relationship, if my dates are reduced into an iterative cycle of swipe, text, and making love? The rabbit hole will only stop once they fathom that their beliefs not only lack objective truth, but have been inhumanely used by corporations to addict them in an attention-driven economy. In effect, they lose their trust and confidence in what they believe. According to Gallup, 73% of millennials are not married and 71% of them are no longer engaged in work. Moreover, statistics from Pew Research Center show that 45% and 53% of millennials have said that the Church and the media have had a non-positive impact. What these statistics show is that our generation of young nihilists are acting as the Übermensch of our society.

Conceptualized by Friedrich Nietzsche, Übermensch is the person who rejects the norms of society and lives by their own code. In his book, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Nietzsche writes, “the [Übermensch] is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the [Übermensch] shall be the meaning of the earth! I beseech you, my brothers, remain faithful to the earth, and do not believe those who speak to you of otherworldly hopes! Poison-mixers are they, whether they know it or not.” In following the path of the Übermensch, nihilists transcends people like us by creating their own traditional values and moral ideas. As a result, they inspire reform in what we already believe because of how they have interpreted the world around them.

Alternatively, nihilistic millenials have replaced these traditional concepts in favor of having a nihilistic lifestyle. A lifestyle where they are free from the institutions and corporations that define them, where they create their own meaning and beliefs, where they feel truly independent. Or at the very least, a lifestyle that does not pressure them into societal and traditional expectations like going to church, taking a political stance, and/or marrying someone.

For most of you, you think that to be a nihilist is to live a cynical and depressing lifestyle. A life of sex, vices, and revolution. However, your perception of nihilistic living is mostly false. In fact, it can be the polar opposite - a merry and lawful lifestyle, but nevertheless liberating. Simply put, to be a nihilist millennial is to live independently from anybody’s point of view.

If you do not believe me, think about this: your beliefs, dreams, and emotions have always been influenced by an institution. In effect, these institutions have enforced these ideas into your mind. Institutions such as capitalist governments that promote the dream that our highest aspirations and goals can be achieved if we work hard enough. Our church and communities tell us to keep believing in God and his words of wisdom. Even our happiness and sadness has been exploited by an attention economy that manipulates what we buy, who we love, and what we distract ourselves with. Thus like a dictator, institutions prescribe to you on what you should or should not do, believe or feel. Instead, you are just a bunch of puzzle pieces, branded by institutions, that fit together to meet their expectations. You do not have “your own” values and beliefs to define who you are.

As a result, it is why nihilists believe that the institutions that influence us are false and meaningless. Acknowledging that any value or meaning nihilists perceive, exists only as a subjective opinion — not as an objective and absolute truth, according to any institution. Consequently, it allows nihilistic millennials to live however they want to live, believe whatever they want to believe, make choices without an institution’s influence. Therefore, nihilists feel satisfied and purposeful if the purpose they create is subjectively meaningful to them. In spite of that, it does not inherently mean that nihilists are immoral and/or unlawful. Nihilists are people too, they are aware of the consequences and responsibilities of their actions. Thus, nihilists have morals and follow the laws they deem are applicable, even though they believe these standards amount to nothing in a cosmic sense. They can save the world and make it a better place in their own terms, or indulge as much as they want. Both actions are equally pointless in the grander scheme of the universe. As such, both choices are equally valid and theirs to make.

To demonstrate my point, in the following interview* with professor and author, John Marmysz, he talks about the perception of nihilists in our world and Marmysz’ philosophical insights on what it means to be one.

The following extract has been edited and cut down for clarity and simplicity. For the full interview, visit http://disinfo.com/2015/10/interview-nihilist-means-nothing-life/.

Interviewer: It seems to me that it’s rather obvious that our lives have no real meaning or value. We all die and what we do here on Earth means nothing. Why do you think that bugs people out so much?

Marmysz: So when nihilists reject the objective existence of absolutes, they are undermining the very ground upon which many people base their lives, loves, and hopes about the world. To claim that values and meaning are human created projections endangers confidence in the highest, [...] which in turn can lead to atrocity, immorality, and emptiness. This, I think, is what really bugs people out. They worry, as Dostoevsky suggests, that if God is dead, then anything is permitted.

Interviewer: Why do you think people care about things that mean absolutely nothing all the time? Why do you think people allow Gods, jobs, leaders, and politicians to have so much power?

I think that traditional values, religion and the conventions of society [...] is attractive to those who have no desire to get drawn into the endlessly deep pit of individual philosophical thought. Most people are probably more concerned with being happy than they are with confronting difficult truths, and so in order to reduce the amount of friction in their lives, they buy into the ready-made systems that are a part of mainstream culture. By worshiping the right God, supporting the right politicians, driving the right kind of car and watching the right kinds of TV shows. People come to feel that they have a role to play in the system and that the world has a purpose. Everything is in its place. It is clear what is right and what is wrong. And this makes people comfortable and happy.

Interviewer: Personally the fact that I believe in nothing makes me feel at peace with things and makes me calm. Can you shed some light on that thought process?

Marmysz: While there is nothing in nihilism that prevents apathy or destruction or anger, neither is there anything in it that necessitates these things […] If one feels released from the bonds of absolutes – if anything is permitted – liberation and a sense of freedom might be the result. Indeed, even nihilism may have a positive side, as it can result in the promotion of modesty and the dismantling of human arrogance. By highlighting our finitude, it can remind us that in the grand scheme of things we are not that important, thus encouraging us not to overestimate our place in the universe.

For most of the 21st century, nihilists have been stereotyped as these gothic edgelords, who essentially monologue about how we are specks of dust in the grand scheme of the universe (think Rick Sanchez or Tyler Durden). From reading about this interview, it showed me insight as to how nihilist can provide an outlet for optimistic expression. Can I not be nice and compassionate to others; not because some God told me to, but because life is pointless? If the world is truly meaningless and cynical, I should enjoy life by creating my own meaning out of it, or else I will never be fulfilled. To rephrase one of Marmysz' quotes, "nihilists are as much capable of self-destruction and narcissism as they are capable of humility and expression."

Our younger generation of nihilists may view the world for all its despair and nothingness, but like an artist staring at a blank canvas, they may also view the world for its possibilities. We merely get a coloring page to fill in our beliefs, according to institutions like the Church. On the other hand, nihilists paint their own meaning and purpose of the world with a blank canvas to how they see fit. Consequently, it allows nihilists to personally feel they are in control of their own lives, like an artist in control of their own work. However, this leads me to my next point regarding nihilistic expression in the media and its cultural impact.

Since contemporary society has let this philosophy surge in popularity, it has paved the way for nihilism to not only exist in the minds and consciousness of many millennials, but also impact our media and popular culture. From fictional characters who struggle to live in the cruel, pointless reality we live in, to postmodern fiction that subverts moral/religious conventions. Like it or not, nihilism has influenced the forms of media we experience.

The pop culture of today seems to be showing us a millennial’s nihilistic view of the world, not just because it wants to appeal to this demographic. Instead, pop culture wants to provide a mirror that lets nihilists millennials see a reflection of themselves in various mediums. Thus, themes of meaninglessness, life’s absurdity, and radical freedom become more apparent. This subsequently creates a trend in which humor hinges on the pointlessness of our lives and us laughing at the void. A trend where entertainment has become less of an escape from the void and more like a gaze upon it.

There is no better example of this than the surreal and distorted memes popping up on the internet. Where Winnie The Pooh is a conspiracist saying that the government did 9/11, a breakdancing hotdog is incorporated in a lineup of communist icons, where God is trivialized as a fidget spinner metaphor. In the world of surreal memes, established ideas are contorted and twisted into strange witticism. Witticisms that are then rehashed by another user in a cycle of self-referential jokes until nothing makes sense.

On another level, there is something much more to these absurd and strange memes. They express a disillusionment on what is normal, through juxtaposing the normal in an ironic and provocative context. In doing so, memes challenge our opinions on things like God, politics, and 9/11, by rejecting it as revered or purposeful and fuse it with the nonsensical. Thereby creating an incongruity, between the nonsensical and meaningful, which drives nihilistic humor.  Hence, memes engage many millennials and teenagers in nihilistic thought through nihilistic humor that attempts to distance us from our existential pain, similar to how we cope with physical pains by joking about it. According to nihilist philosopher, John Marmysz, he says that "when we humorously reflect upon experiences that are otherwise painful, we reorient ourselves towards those experiences in such a manner that we gain a feeling of control and mastery over them.” As a result, when we view our own existential dread through humorous lens, we rebel against the pain of knowing how our beliefs and frameworks are obsolete.

Like how art imitates reality, nihilism in pop culture expresses realism towards contemporary society as a whole. In this regard, nihilistic art shows bitterness towards a society that grows futile and hopeless by the day. They, in turn, also express their stance towards these ideas because of media that express the mockery and hypocrisy of traditional opinions and values. The belief of gun ownership is mocked by memes that asks if Jesus would own a gun. The belief in killing net neutrality is satirized by videos that are suddenly interrupted by internet package options. Even animal abuse is criticized by overtly sexual PETA commercials that fight for animal rights.

Despite the impact of a nihilistic pop culture, nihilism in media ends up being a part of an attention economy that wants to exploit us. Nihilist media dazzle the attention of nihilistic millennials, via utilizing surreal imagery and themes of nothingness. Hooking them into a never ending spiral of self-indulgent distractions. One moment they are watching videos of Illuminati conspiracy theories, the next thing you know, they are bursting into tears as they have gazed into the empty void once again. To think that nihilism was liberating them, but instead, it is repeating a cycle of contempt. As the prophet of nihilism, Nietzsche was self-conscious of the ideology's devastating effects on people. How it spawns a gloomy mood that infects our anxiety, anger, and terror. Escalating our state of futility and hopelessness. Nonetheless, he writes, "I praise, I do not reproach, [nihilism]’s arrival. I believe it is one of the greatest crises, a moment of the deepest self-reflection of humanity. Whether man recovers from it, whether he becomes master of this crisis, is a question of his strength. It is possible" (Complete Works Volume 13). When nihilist millennials use the ideology to self-reflect on their own meaning, some of them walk away more egocentric and/or  pessimistic about reality.

However, if they wish to recover from the effects of nihilism, they must look on the bright side like Sisyphus. A man who was eternally punished to roll a boulder up the top of a mountain, only to have it roll back down to the bottom. According to absurdist philosopher, Albert Camus, Sisyphus must struggle perpetually without any hope of success. Camus says, "so long as he accepts that there is nothing more to life than this absurd struggle, then he can find happiness in it". Like Sisyphus, nihilistic millennials must carry out their task to repeat the cycle with contentment and purpose. Our younger generation of nihilists must accept that they can never end this cycle of nihilism, so they might as well find meaning in it. In doing so, millennial nihilists can embrace the optimistic side of nihilism.

When it comes to my response towards the futility and absurdity of my own life, I fathom that pessimism is not the best way to recover from the effects of nihilism. Since the truth is this - many millennials and teenagers are too quick to think that being cynical about the lack of meaning is the only choice. The inhumanity of the attention economy and the pessimism of pop culture may have swayed the views of some millennials and teenagers. But they do not need to give in to pessimism and narcissism, without having to sacrifice their freedom and identity. There is more to nihilism than just being cynical. It can make you laugh, smile, humble, creative, and so much more. Namely, millennials do not have to be this lesser version of Rick Sanchez who does not give a fuck about society or God - his words not mine.

From looking at the abyss and fathoming the truth, there was nothing to be negative about. If my life was more unfulfilled and alienated “figuratively watching porn”, I can always find meaning in it (or create new meaning entirely). Ultimately, nobody can give me purpose, the only relevant purpose is my own. Such as creating my own totally subjective meaning of God: “a transgender rainbow furry who is part of the Illuminati’s plan to take over the world.” The point is that my purpose in life can be anything I want it to be, but I only have one life to live. Hence, my one shot to create my own meaning in life sets me free to pursue a life of unique experiences.

On that note, I give you the most optimistic advice a nihilist can give you: “do the things that make you feel good. But you get do decide whatever this means for you."

[priscilla9993]

Blog tag

Tagged by the amazing @piracytheorist

Brain typed out the old username before this, but I do love the new one. You should check her out!

1. Why did you choose your url? I chose my url on a whim for this site. However, the true story behind this is similar in the sense that kid me, having to create a username for Neopets and Fantage, not used to how the internet worked, went with my name and age at the time. Obviously, a username that normal would be taken or just stupid to put. Thinking I was so clever, I put a 3 at the end to symbolize the three 9′s. Little did I know, it stuck and here I am today.

2. Any side blogs? I wish, but no. At least not on here. I can barely maintain one as I’m not very active on social media.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr? Since January of 2021, lurking in the background until February when I finally posted or reposted something, so not that long.

4. Do you have a queue tag? Nope.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? I was captivated by this whole new world of people who loved a bunch of fandom related things and shared their opinions without politics or society playing an oppressive role. It felt like Wiki Fandom, but social media version. Not to mention my love for Once Upon A Time with their ships and characters led me to start my blog. I had my own opinions on some things and mainly wanted to reblog things I loved on here too. Eventually it turned into me posting my own meta though.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? It’s a picture of the Barnes and Noble copy of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass as well as a brown stuffed animal rabbit of mine that has been with me since childhood. I chose it because I love the story and it contains a part of me that never wants to lose a child’s sense of whimsy. Partially joking, but it was either that or a Dopey plush since I wanted something from I loved but took a picture of irl. I don’t take a lot of photos...

7. Why did you choose your header? My header is a Madarcher/Curious Archer scene with Alice and Robin in a dungeon. I love both the characters and the ship. It’s one of my favorite moments from the show and was around the time I joined Tumblr. I think it’s so special how in a scene where they are trapped with only each other for company, they vulnerably talk and Robin gently brushes Alice’s face/moves her hair. Albeit, she’s trying to grab Alice’s hairpin, but it was a sweet moment all the same. Brings me joy every time I see it.

8. What’s your post with the most notes? “Foreshadowing at its finest” Ooooh, I believe this is my first original post! I am proud that it has triumphed as a Madarcher/Curious Archer post as that is a ship I will take to my grave. Also, it’s funny how it hasn’t been a long time, but re-reading that post, I still think I’m reaching too far. Thought it was brilliant then, but I change my mind every time I see it. Let me know if you check it out and agree/disagree/have other thoughts.

9. How many mutuals do you have? None actually, but I like to think it’s quite a few and hope think of me as a mutual too. It’s probably because I haven’t been on here long and don’t follow that many people, lovely as most of them are.

10. How many followers do you have? 10. Just like this question # lol. I’m not into Tumblr for the followers, but I’m honored that some people want to follow the stuff I post.

11. How many people do you follow? 6. I should really go follow more considering the amount of stuff I like. There are some people I want to follow, but they either get risque or extremely spammy with their posts.

12. How often do you use Tumblr a day? Probably an hour or less.

13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? No and I’m quite thankful as of yet.

14. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? I feel indifferent to them I don’t need to reblog. Although, I do feel guilty sometimes as I typically love and support the things people want reblogged, but skip over the reblogging since I have nothing to add on and don’t want to unwillingly shove/spam the post to others.

15. Do you like tag games? Yes, they are a joy to see and participate in.

16. Do you like ask games? Yes!  I love to answer and ask questions.

17. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? I don’t have a mutual, but I think in my small bubble of following others, @killian-whump, @wyntereyez, @piracytheorist, @enixamyram, and @bleebug are Tumblr famous. They are some of the first people I got knowledge of from tags and reoccurring names/reblogs.

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual? Nope, but I admire so many people on here. <3 I don’t know if any of them constitute as a crush because I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love. Probably irl, but then I’d be in denial and chalk it down to admiration or desperation from crush culture. But to answer the question on crushing anyone online romantically, no. I’m tagging @jlsadphoenix, @fairytalepsuedonym, @mefyys, @of-monsters-and-werewolves, @sals86, @mary-margaretblanchard, and @intothewickedwood.  Feel free to do this blog if you want, and if you do, please tag me on it so I can learn more about you too. :D

[d4rk-x-w0lf-17]

The Inventory Vs Mind Max (Drabble)

Hello! This the main blog of the Sam and Max sideblog SevenDeadlyVices. I’m sorry to spam you or anything but your AU is so amazing and I have thought about this scenario a few weeks ago. I just like seeing you and the others suffer (lovingly of course!). I would love to see some Art for sure if you want to of course. This is the last one, I promise. I’m more of a writer than an artist, so I would like to write a few scene ideas if you don’t mind! Edit: So I burnt out right in the middle of writing, so I couldn’t do the Max and Heavy scene I wanted to do, but here’s like a condensed intro of how the first tournament is going to go. I hope this is okay and if you have any ideas or changes, feel free to add! When the seven people came up the pipe to the Arms room, they were shocked to find that it was a game room filled with arcade games, board games, a pool table, a dart board and more. “Now this is a room!” Tycho grinned, impressed. A spore greeted the group with its cheerful banter. “Paperwaite, where are you?” Sam called. “Over here in the back room!” The other called from the back. Sam smiled and walked forward... only to bump into something dark. “Ow!” “Sam, are you alright?” Ash asked, then he blinked. “Where did this come from and how did it just appear in the middle of the room?” “And where do you think you are going?” A voice asked from the darkness. At first, everyone thought that the spore Max was speaking again, but it didn’t move its mouth. And the voice was loud and echoing the room. “We’re just getting started!” A finger snap. Then lights fill up the center. There in the middle was a large poker table, the exact same one from the inventory. Come to think of it, the decor in this room looked like the remodeled inventory back outside. A lone figure sat on the edge of the table, flipping a poker chip and catching it, then chewing at it with very sharp teeth. It was a bluish green and pink rabbit with pink glowing eyes, unruly fur, and teeth sharper than usual. Sam, Brock, Ash, Claptrap, Tycho, Strong Bad, and Heavy all stared agape at who they were looking at. The spore gasped. “Part of the host wants to play with us!” “Let’s play.” Max or this fake version of Max smirked as he threw a billfold of $20,000 on the table, devilish as ever. Other billfolds appeared on the table as well. Sam trembled. “N-No... this isn’t Max... Max wouldn’t...” “Something tells me whoever or whatever is running this operation knows we’re here and wants us occupied.” Brock sneered. “Sam,” Ash put a hand on the dogs shoulder, his voice low. “You take some of the others with you to the other room. We’ll keep the lagomorph busy.” He motioned to himself, Brock, and Claptrap, the latter taking their seats. Max was smiling. “Oooh, fresh meat! You, slick hair, deal!” Max pointed to Tycho who blinked. “Me? I guess it can’t be helped.” “I’ll raise the blinds!” Spore Max exclaimed. “Are you crazy, man?!” Strong Bad shook Ash’s leg. “We’ve played with Max before. He’s not one you should mess around with!” “Little rabbit is unpredictable.” Heavy nodded. “Don’t worry, we can take him. How hard can it be?” Ash took his seat and Sam took Strong Bad and Heavy to the back room. Tycho shuffled the deck and the three poker players gulped in anticipation. They had never played with Max at all. They only saw him coughing up poker chips, running amok at the inventory, and took Sam’s word for it. But they had won tournaments in the past. They could take him on. The three stared at the other, about to embark on the game for their lives and their friend. “The name of the game is Texas Hold Em.” Max announced, confident and smug. This was going to be interesting.

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HOLY FUCK THIS IS INCREDIBLE I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!

i've never really written anything for these series and i've only consumed sam & max and TF2 content (and a few occasions of the venture bros when i was younger) so i have no idea how the other characters interact outside of the poker night games but i could picture the characters perfectly in my head from this and i read all the dialogue in their voices!! this all feels so in character and honestly? just incredible