weeklyweirdnews

[weeklyweirdnews]

No...That's not right.

Future weirdos, I see the pages of my last few entries. My diaries are intact, and I *Remember* the house that we were walking into. I was *There* one moment, and the next...I was waiting for a carriage with a note in my hand. Memories of wandering the Scandinavian countryside as a writer forcing themselves into my brain, a life **isn't mine** insisting itself upon me, pushing out the ones I'd been making. Even as I try and cling to them, the face of who I was has changed in my memory. What's happening to me? Who was I if not me then? This doesn't make sense. Did I shift again? How am I supposed to get home? What's making this happen? I've got too many questions and no answers to speak of. The only thing I know for sure is that I still have her picture...Paige. My daughter. I can't forget. I have to get home. I... I have to focus. I have to record my experiences. I greeted my comrades waiting for the carriage, and I told them nothing that the memories filling my mind didn't inform me. I'm a writer, that part is true enough. Seems that I've been wandering the countryside for some time now, writing books about the strange creatures which exist just beyond the fringe of human awareness. I can see them. That is apparently unique. According to the letter in my hand, A society of supernatural investigators has taken note of my talents, and has invited me to take on partial ownership of a castle so long as I work to bring light to the creatures of the dark. I cannot say if this will lead me home, and I cannot admit to my companions that I do not belong here. But for now this seems to be the thread to follow. Perhaps answers will come with time. Signing off, I am still Heather Parker

[weeklyweirdnews]

New Cohorts

Well future weirdos, It wasn't too difficult to pass off my experience as...period appropriate to the society. Crossed my t's and dotted my i' s, and I'm already assigned to a case with a couple other members. We didn't have time for an introduction per say, as a new case dropped into the society's before we had the chance, and I was tasked with meeting Mr. Heislan and Ms. Bishop regarding a Mr. Merriweather, a professor at Arkham university who seems to be one his deathbed and is requesting the aid of the society. It's so strange to examine these facilities in this era. The way people dress, the way they talk, it all being before the collapse of the social safety nets. I must remain mindful to not let slip things which would betray the truth of when I'm from. Mr. Heislan seems like a common enough specimen of a man, a bit burly and a bit bawdy, but not in a bad way. Ms. Bishop strikes me as rather sharp, and would be the more dangerously intelligent of my new cohorts if I were to take a guess. Both asked reasonable questions of Mr. Merriweather, Who looked to be in very poor shape as he told us of a Farmhouse in the sticks in which he and his friends summoned a Djinn into during his youth. Seems like his fear as he reaches the end of the road is that the creature will be able to escape with his passing, and he's tasked the society with preventing this terrible fate. I can sense a degree of incredulity from Heislan and Bishop, but this is exactly the sort of thing which I'd become accustomed to in my time. Based on the diary's I've read from Mr. Merriweather, This Djinn sounds like a rough customer with a very poor disposition, and this job may be very dangerous indeed. Still getting a feel for how much I can count on the others, but in the meantime working to be a valuable addition to the team. We stopped by the Orne library on the way back from the hospital in the hopes of gathering more information, the only thing we learned of value is that there is a forbidden books section to the library. I'm burning with curiosity at the sort of secrets might be contained within, but held my tongue in front of professor Henry Armitage. A bit of kissing up, and bit of polite interest...in due time I'll get access, but not today. Seems like it requires more approval than we have time to get. At the behest of Heislan We then checked in with a professor of the occult named Rigby who seemed well meaning, but had very little in the way of specific help save for suggesting that we carefully investigate this situation and not go in half cocked. We're headed to Ross's Corners, the town closest to the farmhouse to get it started. Hopefully Mr. Merriweather can hold out until we have locked away the monster he's brought to our world, or perhaps prove he's simply a madman, but something about the way he presented himself, the writings he left behind I...don't think he's mad, and I don't think he's lying. We're going to need to be very careful. Here's to hoping that my diary does not become evidence of my own foolish mistakes for another intrepid investigator to wonder about my sanity upon reading. Till next Entry future weirdos, Heather Parker

[weeklyweirdnews]

The Society for the Investigation of the Chthonic

Well future Weirdos, I think I found the likeminded people I was hoping to. Seems that enough strange activity happens in Arkham that a investigator's guild has sprang up to answer questions of the unknown. While I don't think I should reveal to them just how out of place I am here, I do think that throwing my lot in with them will likely be my best bet for finding what I'm looking for. Might even make a little money while I'm at it and criminy I need it. A shopping trip for some other outfits, a small ration of food, and a room at an extended stay for a week so I could clean up has made it clear that 1923 or 2023, money makes the world go round and it seems like I'm always running out. Still, the results speak for themselves. After a meet and greet with a few stuffy professor types I won't name and a few creative liberties taken with my credentials, they've signed me on to work with a team on the next case. Stuffy or not, the people there do seem to have a passion for the strange, and an investigative journalist with an interest in the paranormal blends in like a bad opinion on the internet. ...God I miss the internet. Catch you later future weirdos Heather Parker

[weeklyweirdnews]

The times are changing future weirdos,

I've figured out that it is 1923. What a time to be alive I suppose. I've disposed of the stiff, did my best to take care of the blood stains, took his wallet, he wasn't well off by any means but I suppose I'll finally get to see how far the dollar would stretch out in this time. Still, I'm going to be living out of this car for awhile. It's an adjustment. I've found myself in Arkham Massachusetts, it's a college town with a robust university, and based on some of the papers I've stumbled upon around here, a bit of a hotbed of strange activity. If I'm going to find a road home to when I belong, this might be my best bet. I've spent a bit of time in the local library, fabricating some qualifications. Heather Parker the weird news blogger is now Heather Parker, investigative journalist working on the next big scoop. Suppose some things never really change. My next step is to find likeminded people seeking the frontiers of human knowledge. If I've been shunted here through space and time, there MUST be a way back as well, and I intend to find it. Till next time future weirdos, Heather Parker

[weeklyweirdnews]

Dear future weirdos, I don't know what to write but it must be written. I'm beyond words. But if I don't write this down I might forget, I cannot allow myself to forget.

My name is Heather Parker, and this isn't where I belong. What happened? Where AM I? The cars they are old, the people are dressed old, my god, Where is Paige? Vegas? WHEN is Paige...? My head feels like it's splitting open as I scribble this down on a diary I took off a dead man, as if I've been torn from one world and thrown into another. Away from everything I knew. Every*one* I knew. Okay Heather, start at the beginning. Paige was out with her friends. Then a light ripped though my world eyes before I blacked out. I woke up in the trunk of a car, stripped naked with the smell of copper in the air. I was able to kick the seatback down, and found and the source of the smell was a body in the driver's seat. Suicide by the looks of it based on the gun in his right hand, and hole in his head. Found a suitcase in the backseat with his belongings, some clothes I've changed into, and this diary. It's weird, it Looks like the stiff was planning to start a new life, only to decide to end it prematurely. I need to get home. But until I figure out how I got here in the first place I can't even imagine how. I suppose for now the best I can do is take this guy's unused fresh start and try and find something that will bring me back to the family I once knew. I'll write as I learn more about the new situation I find myself in. Momma misses you Paige, ~Heather Parker

[weeklyweirdnews]

I can live with that. You have my email. We can arrange the call there.

-------Encrypted message---------

Check your email

[weeklyweirdnews]

I know what the worm was, I know why it was there, and I know how it died. However I don’t exactly want my information or identity posted online. Moreover, I need some help from an investigator of your caliber in regards to a... sensitive subject that almost certainly falls into your area of interest.

--------Encrypted message-------- Well, that makes two of us who’d rather remain incognito amigo. I’m interested in the job, but you sure this isn’t something we couldn’t handle over a direct peer to peer video call. You’re welcome to use whatever software you want to mask your face and voice. I only care about information. So should you.

[weeklyweirdnews]

I suppose that’s fair. How about a casing from the 357 magnum I shot the thing with? Or my receipt for the exploded can of hairspray? I could also mention the exploded fire extinguisher, but that wasn’t something I brought.

-----Encrypted Message------ That’s more like it. Using your noodle there. Like that. Alright, so you were there, what have you got and why do you feel it needs to be a meeting?

[weeklyweirdnews]

I have some info about that worm you might be interested in. I was there. If you don’t believe me, then here’s a detail you didn’t report. The two damaged tanks were the center and left. The center was crashed into. The left malfunctioned. The right tank with the dead worms and sludge was intact. Send me a time and place at doppeldropper@ymail If it seems legit I’ll be there.

-----Encrypted message----- No offense, but you’ll need to do a bit better than describing the contents of the pictures in the article for me to buy in on you having been there. I do not do in person meetings unless there is a reason to. Safer for all parties in my line of work. If you have information about the worm I would gladly take it, but I’d prefer keep my professional distance, if it’s all the same to you.

[weeklyweirdnews]

Earth-shattering conclusions

Greetings Weirdos, I can barely keep track of everything that happened yesterday weirdos, so strap in as I try to organize this chronological like. As we predicted in our last post, The Trump Hotel was the center of a big “earthquake” yesterday, and we were on the scene. It was no Earthquake everyone. It was huge worm which broke through the floor. But I’m getting ahead of myself The serenity of the typical droning of the slot machines and cries of gamblers losing the last of their coins was disrupted by an altercation with a group of guests which seemed to concern the security at the Casino. Gunshots were fired, and a panic started, not long after, the worm burst through the floor. If not for that mysterious group however, there may have well been much more than the property damage that the owner, Donny Drumf reported to me in an interview later that day. “Real heroes I gotta say, they came in, seemed to know what they were doing. Helped out when my own security guys had them pegged all wrong. After I reviewed the tapes? I’m changing security contractors entirely, they completely mishandled the situation. Completely Mishandled. If I find the folks who drove that horrible beast off I’ve got a big reward planned for them.” Perhaps it’s your lucky day, eh Mystery Hunters? But that wasn’t the end of the day’s events, nor even the end of the Trump Hotel and Casino’s involvement. But again, I’m getting ahead of myself. The sound of the quakes moved on in a predictable pattern, and I followed it on down to the line to Mike Truk’s Baseball Splashdown. A Baseball themed water page owned by local Minor league darling Mike Truk. [PICTURED: A Smiling Mike Truk in his baseball Jersey, standing in front of the water park] The evening was normal enough, adults and children alike here to escape the heat. Since it opened a few years ago, after a really rocky start, Baseball Splashdown has become something of a local place to escape the heat. But I wasn’t there for summer fun, I was there for answers. Sadly, all I found was more questions. On the surface everything the was normal...until the rides started to malfunction. Staff and security alike started moving to figure out what was going on, but with the guests in an uproar about their day’s being ruined, the forces were quite occupied...and this offered me the opportunity I needed. [PICTURED: Crowds yelling at the rent a cops and staff] I slipped into the maintenance areas under the park, Truk was known for running his park on something of a shoestring budget, and I encountered no resistance as I explored an interconnected series of hallways under the rides, I noticed that the switches had all been sabotaged. Someone wanted to cause a distraction. But that still wasn’t in the end. I went deeper still, finding a hidden entrance someone had left open. This led me down into a cave which I could only confirm had been dug by a worm of enormous size, I walked deeper still, noticing all the while pipes running down from the park above, till I came to a surprisingly large building. I do not know what happened in this room weirdos, but I will describe to you what I saw. You will also find the attached pictures of the scene, but be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart. [PICTURED: The inside of the room where the battle happened from various angles, the condition of the tanks and walls and floor covered over a series of photos] Inside this building were three large tanks, inside one of the tanks were a mass of snakelike worm bodies, still and lifeless in the watery sludge, as if they’d been boiled alive. The other two tanks were smashed open, and on the floor were the shrived and decayed remains of more of the snakelike worm bodies. Lost fluids covered the walls as something tore the body a of what must have been a much larger worm apart. I don’t know if it was explosives, or some sort of paranormal activity, but SOMETHING utterly destroyed these worms, the large and the small. And for that I think I can speak for everyone in Vegas when I say “Thanks.” I was able to locate the head of the big worm, and from them I extracted a poison gland. it nearly burned through my gloves to my hands! Lucky I brought my special containment unit to put it in. Bet I’ll find some interesting information when I study this. You may think that’s it for the day, after all, I certainly did. I collected what evidence I could and got out. But my day wasn’t quite over yet. At two in the morning I got a call from a guard from the casino, they sent me a picture of a dark ghostly figure [PICTURED: A dark feminine figure half melted into the wall], and told me they were haunting the casino, and that they had killed a patron in the parking lot. According the police records, an investigation into what appears to be a “wild animal attack” in the parking lot of the casnio opened late last night. We know just how many “Wild Animals attacks” take a man’s head off though, don’t we Weirdos? We’ll be updating this new case as it develops, and hey, you mystery hunters who took out that big bad worm? Good hunting.

[weeklyweirdnews]

Rumblings

Greetings Weirdos, Did you know that a lot of time and effort goes into researching our stories here at the WWN? Finding the differences between verifiable leads and the ever spinning rumor mill of gossip is a priority and we try not to publish anything that doesn’t have some basis in history. But there’s no shortage of things going on in our lovely little city, and I would be remiss if I didn’t provide you weirdo’s with some information to look into this week. So, bear in mind these are lightly established, but perhaps worth following up on stories I’ve heard recently: There have been reports of earthquakes in the area recently. I can verify this one myself, my little shack was a rockin’ not so long ago, and lemmie tell ya, I did NOT appreciate it weirdos. We got word that a local roller derby game was disrupted, and the school, already quarantined due to the Scissorman incident and resulting investigation, was further damaged by the quake. Local EMTs, Firefighters, and Police are warning everyone to remain calm...but we’ve all heard that one before right? Do you think I’d be telling you about this if I didn’t have SOME clue? Well, check this, My Shack went a rocking two days ago, the day before that, a roadside attraction was outright destroyed by a quake, and the derby is...let us say, a certain distance from my location in a straight line from those other spots. I’ve done some math, and I believe that tonight, the quake will happen right IN the city, right under the Trump Hotel (lol) hope they are insured. Anyway, avoid the area if you’re worried for your safety, or maybe go check it out if you, like me, think there might be a patterns to this. If it does happen there, I think we might be dealing with something besides ordinary earthquakes.

[weeklyweirdnews]

Shattered Scissors?

Greetings Weirdos, Hope you had a nice weekend! Weekly weird news has been tirelessly researching the recent case which has been the focus of our reporting lately, and we are pleased to announce that according to sources which were close to the incident, our humble little home has been made safe and sound by some investigators with sharp minds and steel wills. How do we know you ask? Well, trade secrets weirdos, if we told you that, it may endanger our future reporting, wouldn’t it? But lets start the day with some facts, and then, I’ll tell you a little story. Is the story facts? Perhaps some, perhaps not, perhaps it’s just the best I can surmise with the information available to me. Let’s get into it. First, the facts. Fact: last night, we intercepted radio transmissions indicating a dual strike on the local homes of the Gillbrand family. For those of you who haven’t heard the name of the local legends, the Gillbrand family made their fortune excavating and exploring ruins and oddities around the world, before settling down in Las Vegas to pursue local endeavors. Tales of their exploits were common in trash magazines and paranormal investigation TV shows up until the 1960′s, when the family suddenly seemed no longer interested in it’s former pursuits. The last article we could find spoke of a big find in the deserts of Nevada, where the head of the family at the time, Jeremy Gilbrand, spoke excitedly of what they might find in the newly discovered ruins, promising to share more information as it was unveiled. A promise which neither he, nor any member of the Gillbrand family since would keep, as after this article, we could find no further mention of the family in regards to exploration, as they shifted their focus to more business related affairs, including founding a casino. Yesterday, A SWAT team was deployed to their local home where no sign of the family was found, and another group of enforcers were said to be going to the family’s vacation home, a few hours out of the city. Fact: The SWAT team reported no activity or life in the local home, filling in a report to that effect. Fact: The family’s Vacation home in the desert, built to act as a base of operations during their exploration of the ruins, and transitioning to a vacation home after their transition to more business focused ventures burned down over the weekend. Local authorities are investigating the fire, but at this time, no official statement has been made as to the cause. Fact: Reports indicate that several people (Who shall remain anonymous to protect the victims) were abducted to said vacation home. We were able to get testimony from one of these victims. “I was on my way home from school, and everything went black. When I woke up, I was in a lavish room and dressed in a nightgown (SO GROSS! That’s not what I was wearing before!) When I got up and started looking around, the house seemed like it was haunted! There were bloody specters that chased me, and, and a horrible scissor whelding monster which chased us through the halls! I’d have died if it wasn’t for [REDACTED] protecting me. I dunno what happened to the others that night, but somehow, they stopped it. I’m so grateful to be alive. I can’t believe that [REDACTED] would do that, but he was like a monster...” According to one source claiming to be part of the strike team headed to the mansion, confirmed the existence of the horrible scissor-man had been a threat, just as victims said. Their official statement is as follows. “We headed up an operation to take down the threat of a serial killer we believed to be operating out of this home. When we got in we found our intelligence to be true, and we had several encounters with the killer in question. In the end, we were able to put a stop to the manic, and rescue the victims inside.” We reached out to other reported victims who’d been abducted, however they declined to comment at this time. So what happened weirdos? Well, to this journalists eye, we may never know exactly what happened in the Gillbrand manor without speaking to those who bravely entered it to put a stop to things. If one of you are reading this, remember that we are always accepting tips here at Weekly Weird News and our ask box is always open. For what it’s worth, those of you who set out to stop this killer? Thank you for making our state safer for everyone. And now, the story I promised you, pieced together from my own research on the Gillbrand family, and what I can guess based on what we’ve heard about this case. This is purely conjecture dear weirdos, so please know that from here on it’s only opinion. In one interview with a former member of Jeremy’s team, one Lucille Jones, they mention Jeremy becoming more erratic and paranoid as they excavation continued, till finally, they disbanded the team. What I believe, is that Jeremy Gillbrand found something in those ruins he was so excited about. Something powerful, something secret. They didn’t want anyone else to know what they found. They stepped back from the public eye, becoming just another wealthy family in Nevada, but in secret, I believe they continued researching what they found, I believe that it was the scissors reportedly used in the recent attacks, and I believe that they were some form of powerful cursed artifact. I believe Jeremy worked to keep this secret, and within the family. This was passed on to his daughter, Grace Gillbrand. Grace was mostly known for taking over the Casino which her father had founded, as well as a number of husbands who disappeared under mysterious circumstances, most recently, her Duke Gillbrand, formerly Duke Jefferson, owner of another local casino, and father of their child, Jimmy Gillbrand. It’s my belief that this artifact was passed down through the family, to those that were dubbed worthy of it’s power. I believe it’s possible that the gap in time between Jeremy’s paranoia and separation from the excavation team, and the recent attacks we reported on, may indicate that Grace was not considered a worthy holder of the sheers. Based on reports from victims, I believe their child, Jimmy Gillbrand, was. I believe that he was the perpetrator of those attacks. What became of the artifact? Well, we may never know for sure, but we can only hope that between the strike on the manor, and the fire which claimed it, that it was destroyed. Some powers are not meant for human hands. Some things are not meant for us to know. Some things corrupt, beyond words. Stay alert Weirdos, it’s a strange world out there, but at least it’s a little safer now, than it was last week. ~Weekly Weird News

[weeklyweirdnews]

Spooky School Specters

Greetings Weirdos, welcome to the weekend. Those of you who have been following the scissorman case will be interested in this news. We got a report late last night about a fight at a local school. Our sources have asked to remain anonymous, but we have two separate reports from eye witnesses on the scene. “I was just in detention, I went for a bathroom break, but on the way there someone knocked me out. Everything went black until I was found by my teacher. I was terrified, but once I was freed I thought I’d be safe. Then we heard screaming and rushed out to see that the school is Haunted! There was a man in a suit arresting one of the other students, but then he got his hands on the scissors...then he lunged at my teacher! And he freed the kid he was arresting. My teacher told me to run and pushed me out the window. I got scrapped up, but I guess I’m in better shape than if those ghosts had got me! WTF!” “We were in detention when I noticed that one of my friends who’d gone to the bathroom was gone for a really long time. So the teacher and I went to check on her. I guess she was found in the bathroom, but while my teacher went to check that out, one of my classmates stepped out of the shadows with a huge set of shears! He chased me down the hall till a man I didn’t know stopped him. I don’t know what happened to them after that, I was too busy running away. Eventually my teacher caught up with me, and they helped me escape through the back, but...there were so many ghosts! They looked like blood red and their limbs looked sharp and very dangerous. I’m lucky to be alive today! I just wish I knew more about what caused it.” Weekly Weird News attempted to investigate the scene of the crime, but found the school to be locked up tight, unmarked vehicles parked in the parking lot and police tape firmly locking things down. We don’t know what happened in there, but we can sure see that someone is taking it seriously. We’ll post more on this story as it develops.

[weeklyweirdnews]

Sure man. I like pasta

this is the money garf. reblog for untold pasta and riches to come your way

[weeklyweirdnews]

Why don't you get a real job?

First of all, shut up. Secondly, I have a "Real job" I do this as a service to my community.

[weeklyweirdnews]

WEEKLY WEIRD NEWS: Battle at Blackjack Park

Hey there, Weirdos! It sounds like it didn’t take long for the attacker from earlier in the week to strike again. Lucas Shaw, local baseball player and family man, was out for a walk with his son in Blackjack park when he was allegedly attacked by a mysterious figure wielding large garden shears according to a report he gave police on the night of the incident. Lucas claimed that he was able to drive off the attacker, but suffered harm in the process. Lucas was taken to the hospital for injuries matching the description of fighting someone with a giant set of scissors.

Police searched the park for signs of the attacker, but they found nothing of particular note. Patrols around blackjack park have been increased in the interest of protecting the community.

In other news, a new picture is circulating on the underweb, it appears to be some sort of many eyed creature of shadow, and while I admit the composition of the shot is impressive, I just don’t believe it’s real. Anyone who knows anything about shadow beasts know that you wouldn’t be left alive to upload that picture if you were face to face with one. Nice try attention seeker.

That is all the news that’s fit to news. And hey weirdos, don’t just read, if you have questions, or want me to do some research on something for you, go ahead and drop me an ask right here on my site. I’m always happy to bring news and facts about all the weirdness going on in our city. 

[weeklyweirdnews]

WEEKLY WEIRD NEWS: Bloodless Bodies beget boundless bother.

Welcome to Wednesday weirdos! Your humble weirdness seeker here with all the news which makes you go “Hmmmm…” and I aim to deliver!

We’ve had a couple troubling cases recently weirdos. Specifically, the case of Anne Winthorp and Jeremy Fontane.

Anne Winthorp was found dead on Monday in an dumpster behind the local Walmart. This in itself wouldn’t be terribly noteworthy in a big city like ours, but Tiffany Keel, the night shift manager who discovered her claimed in the statement to police that the body was as pale as as a sheet. Haven’t been able to get an Autopsy report to confirm, but if this is true, then there’s a direct link to our next case.

Jeremy Fontane was found dead in the wee hours this morning, left in an alley posed as if he was a vagrant, local actual vagrant, Chip Harris claimed to police that he poked Jeremy to see if he would make some room, and the body slumped to the side, revealing pallad skin and no signs of life.

Police have not issued any official statements about these cases at this time, but they certainly have my hackles up weirdos. What aren’t they telling us, and who could be going around, draining the blood out of people? More importantly, who could be next?