#or exorsexism or homophobia or-

[cardentist]

I want to link my other thread on this post where I dig into my feelings in more depth. I go into some things that I'm going to get into here, as well as things I might not touch on in this response: [Link]

nobody Has to read it, but if you want to argue with this response then I'm considering it required reading. people are free to think I'm wrong, but I want them to know what my perspective is before telling me so.

I also want to say that while this Is a response to what you've said, this is largely just. me expressing something. it's a response to you but it's also a verbalization of my feelings on a lot of things from a lot of people.

I'm going to try to be as fair as possible, we're both speaking about something that's clearly very important to us on an emotional level and I can understand Why you'd respond this way. but this Is hurtful to me. that said, my frustration here isn't with you specifically (not really), it's with a pattern of interactions I've had up until this point.

that Said

my original post is tagged:

"this is more of a vent post than anything but it's a thought on my mind. I'm tagging this transandrophobia (and called out the existence of trans men and mascs in particular) because I am those things, and that's the tag that I use to talk about those issues that affect these things. but this is really about all marginalized men" [End Transcription]

this was a vent post I made because the Core Idea of the post in the screenshot is something that I agree with and have for years (that women and girls are unrepresented in media and fandom), but the post itself had a visceral effect on me while reading.

I reflected on those feelings and attempted to get them out into words. that it upset me, why it upset me, and a wish that people would word this sentiment in a way that wasn't potentially hurtful to people they did not mean to hurt.

as I have repeated Multiple Times throughout this post, I do not and have never blamed the op for this. I don't Think that they intended to imply anything about anybody, I think they did the exact same thing that I did. wrote a post about something that they feel very strongly about from their perspective.

which is why I chose to create my own post with their name redacted, and why I chose to reiterate multiple times that the op of the post didn't do anything Wrong. I did not want to speak over the original post, as it Was making a valid point. I just Also wanted to speak about my frustration with the ways that people Word conversations like this. not because they Intend to be harmful, but because they never considered that what they're saying Could hurt somebody in the first place.

and it's strange to me that in doing all of this I have now had Multiple People walk up to me to tell me to my face that I'm wrong for speaking, that I am Somehow talking over women while deliberately going out of my way to Not step on the toes of the original point.

just by acknowledging that my feelings were hurt and that I wish people would have more consideration for my perspective I'm being spoken to as if I'm in Competition with women.

you brought up trans women to Assert that trans men are always talking over trans women. While Specifically coming onto my post to talk over me about my feelings.

why is it necessary to Insist that what I'm talking about Doesn't Matter because I'm a trans man, to insist that what I'm talking about isn't a "societal issue" to de-emphasize and delegitimize my feelings to my face?

this is my issue, Consistently people see trans men speak on their feelings and their first response is to belittle them. to minimize them and insist that they don't matter. when that simply Is Not Necessary or justified. it isn't About trans men being more or less oppressed than women, cis women trans women or any sort of woman, it's about trans men being People who deserve dignity. who deserve to be thought of.

"this is not a societal issue" and lets say it isn't, why is it a Bad Thing to ask to have my feelings considered? why does it Need to be a societal issue to justify considering the feelings of people with a different perspective? why can it not just matter because I'm a person.

That's the issue I was speaking about with that second response. I got that reply (and that person showing up in my dms) when this post had Two Notes, one of which was Me. I've come to learn that this person deliberately goes through tags relevant to trans men to talk down to the people posting.

and that's something I've experienced Quite A Bit. with nearly every post I've made about my experiences as a trans man, actually.

people see trans men Existing and Speaking About Themselves as inherently transgressive, and react as if they need to be put back into their place. and I don't understand it.

again, I want to take you in good faith, but I can't understand Why you'd see a post like this, check the notes to see if you find tags relating to trans men in it, and then come to the conclusion that this post needs to be put down for being transgressive to trans women somehow.

I imagine this response won't get much traction because I front loaded so much of it with my ~Feelings~ but it was necessary, considering my feelings were the core of the post in the first place.

that said ! there are some discussion points that I'd like to touch on.

firstly ! the first paragraph is. well, the point ! I expanded on that exactly (within the context of this post anyhow) in the thread I linked at the start of this reply.

you're right, there Are marginalized people in every group. which is Exactly The Point. there is no Type Of Person that's free game to make fun of and put down with no nuance that Won't affect marginalized people.

my point is that we Shouldn't try to designate a group of people that we're allowed to hurt. this isn't just about the issue we're speaking about at all, but the overall shape that fandom and discourse and the internet as a whole has taken.

people Like to try to find groups of people that "deserve" to be hurt and then Use the fact that they "deserve" it to justify whatever it is they do. it happens with petty fandom bullying and it happens with exclusion in queer spaces.

with the exception of the people who voluntarily group themselves together based on their harmful beliefs, there Is No Group Of People who are Inherently justified to hurt. there are people who are more or less likely to have specific experiences (a white person isn't likely to have experienced racism), but there is no class of people that you can deliberately refuse to show compassion because you don't think they Deserve it.

which circles back to what I was saying earlier. All People should inherently be deserving of compassion. and that means listening to and considering their perspective and feelings. you don't have to think that everyone is Right, there are people who just have fundamental beliefs that don't align with yours, but there should be no group of people that you refuse to listen to or take seriously Because of the kind of person that they are.

next, I want to address the second paragraph.

for this one, I'd actually like to link another post of mine that expands on a point that I'm going to make here [Link]

again, nobody Has to read it, but it might help explain my perspective.

what I'm taking from what you've written, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that You're frustrated because you feel that trans men are centered in trans discussions online. so it's frustrating, in turn, to see a trans man insist that his voice hasn't been adequately considered.

and here's the thing.

I believe you. there Are trans men who speak over trans women, there Are trans men who belittle trans women and treat them as if they're lesser, as if they're bigots, as if they're oppressors.

but I am Also correct. there are trans women who speak over trans men, there are trans women who belittle trans men and treat them as if they're lesser, as if they're bigots, as if they're oppressors.

you're Right that your experience has happened, It Has. you're Wrong in thinking that your experience is the universal one.

in fact, this isn't an issue of trans men vs trans women At All. the person I've screenshot in my followup Is A Trans Man. the Majority Of People who have spoken down to me and belittled me for talking about my experiences as a trans man Haven't Been trans women (they've been other trans men and cis people, for the most part).

the disconnect here is that Every Single Kind Of Trans Person has been belittled within the queer community. from other trans people, from cis people who think they're speaking for other trans people, from bigots who don't realize they're transphobic, from bigots who Revel in it.

there is no group of trans people who Aren't being talked down to, who Aren't being belittled, who Aren't being openly attacked. and the same is true for Any marginalized group within the queer community, any marginalized group At All.

it's ridiculous from My perspective to have had, Universally, every single post I've ever made talking about my experiences as a trans person for the last Ten Years belittled and talked down to (and sometimes actively harassed over) Because Of The Kind Of Trans Person That I Am. and then be told that I'm Privileged within this group that I've experienced near relentless negativity within.

people treat trans women and trans men like they're opposites on a scale, and if one thing is true for trans men then it Can't be true for trans women and vice versa. but that just Isn't True.

trans women are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are trans women, trans men are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are trans men, nonbinary people are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are nonbinary.

all of these experiences are true at the same time, none of them detract from the other. and All individuals within these groups deserve the space to talk about those experiences without being held in Comparison To other groups as a whole.

trans men are not the opposite of trans women, trans men speaking about their experiences implies Nothing about the experiences of trans women as long as nothing is Stated about said experiences.

and Generally Speaking I find that assumptions about other groups of trans people not sharing an experience with you is just wrong. which is Exactly why individuals talking about their experiences, even if those experiences are Statistical Outliers are important!

why go out of your way to deny solidarity to people who share experiences with you in favor of isolating them. it makes no sense to me. it's not a Bad thing to share with people who otherwise have experiences that you don't. (note, this point is more general, rather than necessarily being about you specifically. I don't know you and I don't want to make assumptions about you, but it's related to the subject matter I'm speaking about).

also, if I'm being honest. I find the point that trans men are oppressed elsewhere but Aren't oppressed in trans spaces as like, a point Against the idea that I as a trans man feel unseen to be very very silly.

I live my life in the real world. I had somebody walk up to me today and ask me if there was something wrong with me because I'm a visibly feminine person who is bald. my grandpa asked me if I was girl again because my hair was past my ears a few weeks ago. transphobia is Real in my day to day life in the real world.

moreover, random people on the internet aren't always guaranteed to be trans or trans inclusive in the first place. even disregarding everything about trans experiences within the queer community, how is it appropriate to tell a trans person that they're Wrong for wanting more people to consider the perspective of trans people. Because Other Trans People Already Consider That Perspective.

again, there's this feeling of Competitiveness that doesn't make any sense once you examine it. like an individual needs to be The Most Oppressed before they're allowed to speak on something. which isn't healthy in the first place, but also doesn't work when we're talking on an Individual Level.

I don't want to throw around "oppression points" because that's just not fair, but there's like. this Assumption that everyone within specific groups can be categorized in tiers of oppression, as if labels can dictate experiences. when that's just not how real people Work.

I find it really difficult to be consistently cut out of conversations about misogyny, to be propped up as benefiting from Male Privilege, when my life was ruined from sexual abuse before I knew what a Gender Identity was.

I don't want to get into it but like. odds are I'm never going to hold down a normal job, I do my best to contribute to the house hold that I'm in but I'm completely dependent on other people. and part of that is due to other factors (disability, neurodivergency, etc) but a big part of it For Me is undeniably the trauma that changed the way my brain functioned forever.

I'm Not transitioned, and it's very unlikely that I will be for many Many years to come. and even then, I'm very much so not gender conforming (whether I'm a gnc trans man or an aligned nonbinary person or genderqueer or bigender changes on which way the wind is blowing).

but even if I Did. even if I transitioned to the point of passing and chose to present as gender conforming and magically got on my feet and moved somewhere where nobody knew I was trans, I would still carry the violence that someone committed because I was a little girl once. my life Before all of that would still be with me, it would still weigh on me and Affect me.

and I'm Not saying this to present this experience as a Comparison. I'm not saying this to say that other people Haven't experienced something like this (they have, an unfortunate amount of people have), and I'm not saying this to say that You haven't (I don't know that, I couldn't know that).

but I Am saying this because it's Frustrating. it's Frustrating to be told over and over and over again that I don't have a perspective that's worth talking about. that I don't have Experiences that are worth talking about. that I am Privileged. that I couldn't Understand what it's like to experience misogyny. that people like me Don't experience violence. that people like me are identical to cis men once we Look a specific way (and it's assumed, of course, that we will eventually).

I have never seen an experience like mine in mainstream media, but it's taken for granted that I'm over represented and Boring. because being a man seems to cancel out everything else for some people. because "man" is presented without nuance as this homogeneous black and white Idea rather than a collection of People.

I think if I were ever allowed to transition, which I can't see happening within this decade just like it didn't within the last, I might consider myself some form of transfem. I like the idea of being seen as masculine And feminine. of the deep voice and facial hair, the square jaw, paired with breasts and pretty lips and pretty hair and pretty clothes.

but people look at me like that now, in those clothes, in hair longer than my ears, and they see a cis woman. they see something I'm not. so I shave my head and I admire the pretty things about myself behind closed doors.

I consider this a male experience, whatever I may be in a theoretical future I am also a trans man. and I have never seen this in media in my life. I've never Seen Myself.

and so it hurts to see it insisted that I'm the default. that it's not Worth considering that my experience may be one that Should be told. because people don't Think about people like me.

and most of the time they don't Mean anything by it. but it doesn't matter what they Mean if I'm not allowed to speak out about it myself. if my feelings, my experiences, my identity and life is assumed to not be worth speaking about.

what does it mean to be privileged among the marginalized? to be told that you don't Need to speak, that you Shouldn't Speak, that your speaking is harmful somehow because you don't have it Bad Enough to deserve it.

I made this post because I'm frustrated, and that's still true. I don't blame you and I don't blame the person who made the original post, and I really don't blame individuals in the first place. because it's not individual people, individuals are all just like me. people desperately reaching out for understanding and acceptance and support.

but for the atmosphere as a Whole to change we need to be willing to let people speak because they are people. because they have value by being people.

I'm not blaming the op of the original post, or trying to imply anything about them as a person. and I don't want to single out this post in particular, because the issue is an broadly reaching trend rather than any one individual happening to write a post in five minutes one time.

but I really Really wish we'd stop and think if it's a good idea to say "girls turning into boys makes them inherently less interesting" on the transgender website

picking a privileged group to be the butt of a joke because it's lighthearted when nobody's actually getting hurt by doing so Only Works when everyone within that group is actually privileged. making jokes about how men are lesser than doesn't Actually affect the people who are actually within power, but Does chip away at the confidence and comfort of marginalized men who are In these communities to be exposed to it.

and the issue isn't about any one joke or poorly worded discussion in particular, but it's difficult to articulate why it can feel so alienating and unsafe to have things like this be so common within my communities without sounding ridiculous or risk being made fun of for not being able to take a joke. because the framing of implied privilege makes it easy to twist those feelings alienation into the entitlement that's assumed with men taking issue with being the butt Of a joke.

I simply think "this type of person is inherently lesser than" should be reexamined and thrown out as a talking point, even in a lighthearted context. because there will always be vulnerable people within those groups who already Hear that they are lesser than for existing

[leotheloaf]

Hi, y’all, in the coming years it is more important than EVER that we have a strong queer community.

What we ARENT gonna be doing, is forming separatist movements, or rekindling old ones, or dogpiling each other over who “gets the right to speak” about their own oppression. We ARENT gonna be throwing the most “unpalatable” queers under the bus to try to appeal to cis/het/allo people. We ARENT gonna be abandoning our trans and nonbinary siblings. We ARENT gonna be abandoning our intersex siblings, and we A R E going to be INCLUDING them in our activism. Respectability politics gets us nowhere. Infighting gets us nowhere. Separatism gets us NOWHERE. Shape tf up y’all

[velvetvexations]

Antigonism

ANTIGONE: I'll do my duty to my brother - and yours as well, if you're not prepared to. I won't be caught betraying him.

What is antigonism?

Antigonism is a transfeminist mode of thought specifically for transfems that embrace solidarity with other trans people, as well as those who are intersex and the queer community in general, under the belief that it's vital to recognize we're all equally oppressed and capable of doing lateral harm to one another

Beliefs of antigonistic transfems include but are not limited to:

accepting that transandrophobia exists

being mindful of exorsexism

not policing the terms that intersex people use for themselves

awareness that other AMAB people can present as feminine without being some kinna insult to us

recognizing that racial hegemony and the cishetpatriarchy are radically different systems of oppression and any comparison between the two, while possible, must be made with exceptional care

rejecting the "reclamation" of radical feminism

finding it appalling to demand that other trans people define themselves as privileged for not experiencing the same things as us - especially when they do in fact experience much of what is commonly, inexplicably cited as unique to transfems.

Isn't that just trans unity?

Trans unity is also great! But I feel like transfems who explicitly reject trans radical feminism could do with a word that is more forceful and specific. Some would prefer that this just be considered the default, and the vocal minority of people who think transfems are oppressed by other trans people should simply be treated as weirdos out of step with the rest of us, but I think there's value in making a strong statement with a term like this.

I've seen a lot of people who legitimately feel like shit because the vocal minority has been so loudly terrible that it's affecting how comfortable they are with random transfems whose opinions they don't know. I understand the temptation to just say they need to touch grass or whatever, but even aside from the fact that things like anti-transmasculinity within the community isn't purely limited to discourse on a dying social media website, I feel like that's blaming them for their reaction to being treated cruelly. I think antigonism could help drill in that there are tons of transfems who back them up, and that they don't need to search for keywords to know that person is safe.

Because, like, that happens to me, too. So many times I've seen a post I really liked and thought was insightful, only to have my distrustful nature lead me to doing such a search before reblogging and being gravely disappointed with the results. That fucking sucks, yall.

Why "antigonism"?

In the legends of Ancient Greece, Oedipus had two sons. One of them, Polynices, would eventually go on to wage war upon his brother, Eteocles, the king of Thebes. There were many telling of the story, some in which Polynices had a very good reason for doing so and some where he didn't.

Polynices and Eteocles both killed each other in the war, but Creon, who took power after, unilaterally declared that Polynices was a traitor. Antigone, the daughter of Oedipus, however, simply does not give a fuck what Polynices did or did not do. When Creon orders that any who try to bury Polynices will be put to death, she proudly does so anyway.

The most famous teller of Oedipus's family history, Sophocles, wrote a play about the war, but it's lost to time and so we know nothing definite about what version of events is canon to Sophocles' play starring the titular Antigone. Considering that the whole point of Creon's character is his dogmatic clinging to law over sense, his assessment of Polynices as being in the wrong for going against authority doesn't clear things up.

I emphasize this because I don't want to seem like I'm framing other trans people - transmascs especially - as requiring forgiveness for some vague past sin. Quite the opposite, just as they treat us as their sisters in spite of that minority of transfems who are awful to them, we must recognize that they're often the first to shut down transmisogynists amongst themselves. Ultimately the point of Antigone's actions in defying the law to honor her brother is that things like that are entirely irrelevant. The fact that the person accusing Polynices of being evil is a jackass, and we know there were versions of the story where Eteocles had it coming, is even more reason to look past his "crime."

ANTIGONE: I owed it to him. CREON: I had forbidden it. ANTIGONE: I owed it to him. CREON: Polynices was a rebel and a traitor, and you know it. ANTIGONE: He was my brother.

Does that mean we should not call out other trans people who are transmisogynistic or otherwise treat trans women badly? Of course not. But we have no more right to abandon or spit on them than they do us, which so many of them refuse to do in spite of the hostility they've often faced. To be an antigonist is to believe that we can do no less for those who do so much for us, and the creation of the term is intended not to spur more to do that so much as to give a name to those who've already been doing that.

Finally, I understand that the plot of Antigone revolving around Polynice's burial might feel grim. Critically, however, Antigone ultimately dies as well.

ISMENE: I must yield to those in authority. I think it is dangerous business to be always meddling. ANTIGONE: You have made your choice, you can be what you want to be. But I will bury him, and if I must die, I say that this crime is holy. I shall lie down with him in death, and I shall be as dear to him as he to me.

We are oppressed by the same forces. We are allies in the same fight. We are friends, lovers, and family. An antigonist is a transfem who believes that all trans people will live together and die together. We are committed to sharing the same fate with our siblings, one way or another. Antigonists see us all as bound together, headed for the same destination, and we would not for a second ever want it to be otherwise no matter where that road leads.

One more thing!

Even if this terminology doesn't catch on, I hope this effort means something to anyone who sees this. <3 Your sisters do love you, I promise.

[anti-sexist-enban]

What is antisexism? Antisexism is the opposition to sexism. It entails commitment, advocacy, and action to combat and dismantle the structure of sexism in all its forms, for all sexes and genders.

How do you define sexism? Sexism is prejudice and discrimination on the basis of (actual or perceived) sex and/or gender. It involves the prescription of roles based on people’s sex, such as the belief people assigned female must be feminine women and available to men, and people assigned male must be masculine men and attracted to women.

How does this relate to feminism? Antisexism is pro-feminist, taking the relevant lessons from feminist theory and incorporating them into a larger ideology. While feminism is characterized as a movement for women’s rights on the basis of equality of the sexes, and has historically centered women due to their subjugated position under patriarchy, general antisexism does not center any gender identity over others. It believes that the rights of groups like transgender men must be considered equally crucial to dismantling the structure of sexism. Everyone negatively impacted by sexism gets a voice in antisexism, regardless of sex or gender identity. This does not mean ignoring privilege and positionality, as people perceived as the patriarchal ideal absolutely reap important benefits under this system, but it involves recognizing that all groups including cis men can be affected by sexism.

About this blog.

[loveless-arobee]

"We need more weird queer people!"

and they can't handle gay trans men, especially not nonbinary gay trans men, and ESPECIALLY not aromantic gay trans man; and even less so when he's not a bottom and a femmy little twink (though they also can't accept trans femmy little twink bottoms, they'll make fun of them, too).

And their heads would explode if they only imagined a twink topping a bear (because big muscly man always top and dainty little fem always bottom), and just percieving a bear4bear/masc4masc or twink4twink/fem4fem relationship, where neither is "more masc" or "more fem" so they can't just decide who tops and who bottoms (absolutely not based in standards set by heteronormativity /s), would kill them instantly.

Be normal about gay men, especially gay trans men of all kinds.

[nonbinarymlm]

I wish there were more posts on malgendering sharing many different trans experiences. I think every trans person (and likely other LGBTQIA+ and GNC folk) have experiences with it and it’s so insidious.

So. This is going to be an open post for LGBTQIA+ folk, particularly trans and intersex folk, to talk about your experiences with malgendering.

Malgendering is when you’re gendered correctly, but that gendering is treated negatively or used to justify bad treatment. It could include a wide range of behaviors, from trying to silence trans people who discuss their experiences from before coming out to being passive aggressive about gendering someone correctly to using a trans person’s gender so justify violence.

Do you have any experiences with Malgendering that you’d like to share? Aspects of it that you want others to understand? Would you prefer being misgendered or malgendered? This is a post to share your experiences and thoughts! (While respecting others.)

[intersex-confessions]

just saw someone say that not only does this new bill only affect transfems, but also it doesnt affect intersex people at all. and we are 'distracting' from the conversation (reason? we are already going through medical abuse so it 'changes nothing')

These fucking oppression olympics need to stop now. Seriously.

If you don't support all parts of the queer community rn you're a traitor.

The bigots in power will only let you exist as long as you're useful to them to bring the rest of us down. After that you're the target again.

What's not clicking y'all?!

They want us all to stop existing.

Right now it's trans and intersex people (all of them!).

After that it's cis lesbians and gays.

After that cis-het women.

They're coming for everyone who doesn't obey them and their fucked up worldview.

You can't call yourself a feminist and only support and fight for the freedom of some people.

[daybringersol]

what types of oppression you experience has little to do with your identity and everything to do with how you are perceived.

what types of bigotry you are capable of propagating has nothing to do with your identity and everything to do with the systems of oppressions you are living under.

please actually internalize that instead of saying you do and then saying shit like ‘men can’t experience misogyny’ or ‘oh no he’s not homophobic, i swear, he’s gay!’

[xenineshroom]

Just learned people don't need to have been sent away to a camp or therapist to be a conversion therapy survivor/victim. It helps to know we can use words like this to describe our experiences and relate to those who are like us.

[baeddel-txt]

[velvetvexations]

I got this comment on my antigonism explainer and I asked for permission to address in it's own post because I think it's good feedback:

I appreciate your support of transmasc and transnull people more than you can ever know. I, however, think coming up with a phrase that distincts “transmasc friendly transfems” is deeply divisive- and will further the divide and discourse between transfems and transmascs We don’t need a speciality phrase to denote people who are friendly towards us since those that are AGAINST us are the loud minority- the majority of real world trans people (transfems especially) are in unity with transmascs I think that this may just worsen the divides that are already starting to exist, and will further perpetuate discourse where it isn’t needed. Transfems can just say they support transmascs and transNB people, you guys don’t have to come up with a special title. I mean this all with the upmost love and sincerity. Transfems who support transmascs are the majority of transfems, yes there is an issue with TIRFism online But that is not the majority of transfems on the internet- and especially in real life. We should be focusing on greater unity and talking about what makes us similar- not dividing ourselves even more into subcategories to be policed or pointed to. From a transnull who is just as deep in this discourse

I'm thankful for your perspective and that you've given thought to the issue, and wanted to share your thoughts in a way that I feel is really sweet, which as someone with NPD I appreciate a lot. This is something that's been expressed to me about the idea previously.

I disagree, though. Are transfems who support transmascs and other non-transfems the majority? Yes, absolutely! But when the vocal minority is as loud as it is, they need to be loudly shutdown. That kinna thing takes megaphones. They're going to go away on their own and I want there to be a way to take an active stance that throws oneself out there as someone opposed to that shit.

Already it's just taken as a given that transfems are all TRFs.* If we don't go further, we're letting the vocal nature of the minority take up more and more space and become more and more accepted. Because like, they are super aggressive about it. These things get spread around on posts with thousands of notes every day. TRFs do nothing but bitch about non-transfem trans, intersex, and GNC people, and in doing so make spaces an increasingly less safe place for them.

And the signaling is a really important issue too. A lot of the responses to antigonism from transmascs in particular have been saying that it makes them feel safer. I've gotten messages from people who feel really bad about the paranoia trans radical feminism has caused them to feel around transfems they don't know, and that sucks! I'm so not interested in dismissing that as people who need to be less online or something, especially since I've heard a lot of stories of IRL spaces being hostile to any expression of masculinity as well. These are people who are, at best, facing a massive bullying issue, and at worst being driven out of the trans community entirely. It's cruel and I'm not going to shame them for having this expectation hammered into them, especially because I've also constantly been let down over and over and over when I see a post about transmisogyny or the transfem experience that I really like, only to be gravely disappointed when I see they're a TRF. It constantly happens. It sucks. It sucks so unbelievably much.

Hell, a lot of TRFs are self-identified TMEs, and in fact, most of them are! Every time they do one of their polls trying to prove some dumbass point, it's overwhelmingly "TMEs" who respond. It's like, a relatively small number of transfems kicking around a little cult of sycophants, many of whom are weird as fuck in their own ways but also many who are just trying to be good allies. They should also be signaled to that, hey, when I tell them they actually didn't need to drop a headcanon of a character that gave them joy because a transfem said so, I'm not the freak anomaly I get painted as. Like, I've responded to things asking if something so not an issue was transmisogynistic, or what the problem with TMA/TME was, only to immediately have multiple TRFs zoom into the replies like "don't listen to velvetvexations, she alone has those opinions because she hates all other transfems."

And what about transfems who also need to have it made clear TRFs aren't normal, too? Who need to be gently caught before they get indoctrinated into this shit?

When you see a trans woman saying she thinks it's bad to call non-binary people slurs, identifying as an antigonist gives the messages she's not a random confused baby bird brainwashed by Big Transmisogyny to hate her sisters. She is just one of many who feel that way.

And like, is making it a "faction" like that divisive? I don't think so because holy hell, this discourse is already divisive and toxic as fuck. The intense vitriol that gets thrown at one side from another is already radioactive. What's going to make things worse than it is now? TRFs will have to put up with seeing that other transfems are enthusiastic about disagreeing with them? Those other transfems will feel an us vs. them mentality regarding radical feminists?

A friend of mine put it really well last night:

it isn’t enough to just be ‘normal’ about transmascs and intersex people, actually you do need to be actively working against the now baked in harmful ideologies that have gained traction

I don't want to be normal about these things, I want to be actively anti-transandrophobic, actively anti-intersexist, etc. in a way that sends a clear message to everyone. Being normal about these issues is only normal until it isn't. And even if it forever remained a minority with no threat of growing larger than it is today, TRFs should still have the door slammed in their face until they learn to play nice. If transfems who are Normal really are "normal", then make TRFs feel like pariahs rather than having the unmitigated gall to declare that transmascs invented the transmisogynistic concept of transandrophobia because "2024 is the year transfems united under the banner of transfeminism."

Should we let them have that, and just say oh, well, it's obviously intuitive we're the normal ones and they're the weirdos, we can just quietly continue to consider ourselves the default model of transfem while radical feminism continues to cause more and more division entirely on it's own?

*not that they use that language

anyone may reblog this!

[anti-sexist-enban]

Cissexism and heterosexism are very much rooted in traditional sexism. Sexism demands that people assigned female identify as women, adhere to feminine gender roles, and experience attraction to men; and that people assigned male identify as men, adhere to masculine gender roles, and experience attraction to women.

Cissexism certainly is transphobic, as it privileges cisgender ways of being over transgender ones, and encourages a cis/trans dichotomy. And heterosexism certainly is homophobic, as it presents heterosexuality as normal and other sexualities as deviant. But I find it worthwhile to acknowledge exactly how sexist ideals about “males” and “females” contribute to these systems. It’s notable that heterosexism is not fully encapsulated by the term “homophobia,” as it also contributes to other kinds of prejudice such as acephobia—for example, I have seen plenty of acephobia directed at men on the basis that being a “red-blooded man” necessitates wanting and having sex with women. This comes in addition to the belief that desire for sex is a requirement for being human at all.

To break down transphobia, exorsexism, interphobia, and discrimination against all sexual and gender minorities, we must break down sexism itself.

[angelfacemjj]

I think we should have a name to talk bout all the anti queer normativities (heteronormativity, cisnormativity, amatonormativity, etc.) in contexts of where they're all playing together at the same time.

I suggest either patrinormativity (patri- comin from patriarchy, which is the structure of our oppression) or formanormativity (forma- that comes from format, because all the anti queer normativities boil down to one single format (cisgender, straight, allorose, perisex, etc.))

Y'all guys think these are ok, or y'all think another word is better?

Gon' tag some blogs, hope it's not inconvenient. /gen

@this-is-exorsexism @transmultiphobia-discussion @anti-terf-posts @our-queer-experience-version2

[mobpd]

most normal person ever

[ladyimaginarium]

𝖋𝖊𝖆𝖗 𝖓𝖔 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖌𝖚𝖊.

[thedepressedweasel]

“I firmly believe in parental rights!”

“Parental rights to do what?”

“Well, you know, to prevent our children from learning anything that goes against our worldviews, to beat them up whenever they disobey us, to control what they can and cannot have access to without any regard for their health and to be informed if they ever come out as gay/trans/nonbinary at school, so we can do something about it by beating it out of them and sending them to gay conversion therapy against their will! Oh, and to force our underage daughters to marry abusive older men too! What, you think I want to know just because?”