#or don't i'm not a cop

[paraphilia-flags-and-more]

Stop making urolagnia flags

We have enough.

[eikotheblue]

Stream time

doing some ori rando, come say hi!

[solder-sibling]

[hellenhighwater]

I was walking out of court yesterday and the deputy working the security desk goes 'stay safe out there!" And I go, yeah the sidewalks are pretty slippery. He responds, "hey, do you carry?' and I said no, because we're very much not allowed to bring guns to court. And he goes, "You want some mace? or a knife? we got extras"

so now I have some random mace and a knife.

Just in case.

[enteisabo]

somebody gimmeeeeee a prompt to doodle for the dayyyy

[egophiliac]

Please elaborate on your twst Pokémon headcannons I’m very interested

I had planned on drawing everyone for this (I made a LIST!) but it. hasn't been going well. 💀 soooo here's what I have so far!

Riddle - Roserade (I was going with 'no legendaries', otherwise I would've given him a Shaymin) (and I don't think Togedemaru is actually a hedgehog or I would've given him one of those too) (...they kind of do fit though. hmm.)

Trey - Alcremie (clover/mint cream + strawberry/ruby cream)

Cater - DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD!

Ace - Impidimp (I feel like there's probably a better one for him, but I can't think of it)

Deuce - Scraggy (meanwhile I KNOW deep in my heart that this is true)

Leona - Pyroar (but like. a nasty Pyroar. just a grizzly old Pyroar with the shittiest attitude imaginable. they pretend to hate each other but secretly they are a bonded pair, do not separate)

[chemilico]

It'll go into the skeleton collection in the closet

[uncanny-tranny]

It is my sincerest and unironic belief that we must invest in preserving "old technology." The more we move to a hegemonic, easily-surveilled way of living, the worse we will find this world to be.

Letters, public phones and transport, cash, and so much more are key to ensuring both freedom of movement and information, but also to combat the surveillance state. We need to preserve the ability to both access the world but also to be untraceable. I truly hope more people start to recognize this. It isn't about nostalgia for the past. It is about ensuring that we are actually afforded freedom, from the richest person to the person who lives on the sidewalk.

[ruler-of-turtle-kind]

Hey, do any of my followers have experience with absconding from their parents' house to a safe place as soon as they're able? Do you have any advice on how to do that? Do you have any advice on what the person they're going to live with should do?

[iamonlyhereforthefreefood]

"You're sick for supporting a murderer!"

Well actually a good chunk of me doesn't even think he did it but you're not ready for that conversation.

[bayetea]

reynabeth.......... in 2024?!?

♡ my daily pjo art tag ♡

[lunarriviera]

Big Dumb Hot Cop & Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant: A Manifesto

So it has recently come to my attention that this, my archetypal pairing formulation, has broken containment, probably because I've been flinging these terms around like a deranged person wielding a blunt instrument. Therefore it behooves me to explain what the hell I mean by all these adjectives, and who are some classic and contemporary examples of the idiots under discussion—who are by the way extremely in love with one another whether they realize it or not. (Don't you say "bromance." Don't you dare SAY that word to me.) I will use blorbo from my shows to illustrate.

I first realized that I am in fact a Big Dumb Hot Cop whisperer thanks to Chinese police procedural 猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin (2022). Right away, it's very important to note that Big Dumb Hot Cop is NOT in fact all that dumb. He's only less intelligent IN COMPARISON to his Effete Slightly Sociopathic Genius Consultant, who is, as already stated, a genius. Big Dumb Hot Cop is in fact ruthlessly good at his job. He's driven, he obsesses about cases, he can walk into a crime scene and pick up on the one thing everyone else has missed. There is no suspect he cannot intimidate upon investigation. And he's even better when he's working with (or against, depending on what stage they're at) the genius consultant. They need each other, whether they're fighting or collaborating. They can only clear cases together.

Here are, then, police captain Du Cheng and his genius consultant, sketch artist Shen Yi, eyeing each other significantly as some witness is, I think, lying his face off? Honestly I can't even remember what's happening because the important thing here is their nonverbal communication. This is crucial for this pairing. They can think circles around each other without saying a word. Love that for them.

Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant has two levels of Possibly Sociopathic. Most maddeningly of all, he has secrets. Sometimes many secrets. So at first, Big Dumb Hot Cop is going to think he's the criminal, or in some way involved in the wrongdoing. The second level is that he'll find Genius Consultant just worryingly, disturbingly good at predicting criminal behavior. And he will continue to be suspicious of him for exactly one or at most two episodes, until he's then swept off his big dumb feet by the rapidity and correctness of Effete Genius's deductions. There's nothing Big Dumb Hot Cop loves more than solving cases. Well, maybe beer. He also loves beer. Once he sees that Effete Consultant is useful, he'll do a 180º and stop complaining to his chief of police, and instead start demanding that Effete Consultant be his forever. He'll start hanging out in his office. He'll literally drag him to crime scenes by the wrist.

(And did I mention Effete Consultant must be very pretty? Did I mention that? He is lovely. Long, thin fingers to steeple while he thinks. Delicate features. Haunted dark eyes. Never sleeps. Shocking self-neglect. You may see where I am going with this.)

Another important attribute of Big Dumb Hot Cop: he's big. Or anyway strong, or a gifted fighter. Let's face it, he has to be, because Genius Consultant is going to be reckless with his own personal safety to the point of stupidity (now who's dumb, huh?). For example, consider another Chinese procedural, S.C.I. 谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (2018). Captain Bai Yutong is sort of impossibly physically talented (former fighter pilot! national sanda champion! runs over moving cars and then shoots at them, like some kind of weird urban biathlon!) and, like all good Big Dumb Hot Cops, his entire life is thrown upside down because he now has to drop everything to protect his effete consultant, criminal psychologist Dr. Zhan Yao, who's so careless with himself that in any another drama he would probably be driving Bai Yutong to drink. Thanks to the danmei on which SCI Mystery is based, however, we can safely assume Bai Yutong is taking it out on Zhan Yao in blow jobs.

Note that Bai Yutong is the cook, even though he's the gong, and that he moves in with Zhao Yan to "protect" him from...something, I can't ever remember what, and then just sort of forgets to move out again. For the length of the entire series.

I would argue that 镇魂 | Guardian (2018) is a procedural, even if it also has ghosts, a talking cat, snake lady, eerie dark energy that gets flung around like paintball splatters, and a whole bunch of other supernatural stuff that was not approved of by Big Red (it's based on a danmei of the same title by Priest, a novel which has been pulled from circulation for censorship). Further confusing matters, Zhao Yunlan isn't particularly Big or Dumb, nor is he even really a Cop, technically; but I'm claiming him for this genre not least because of his Effete (drop-dead gorgeous) Possibly Sociopathic (Chief Zhao thinks he's a suspect for a good third of the story) and Definitely Genius, Later Gangpressed into being a Consultant, chock-full of secrets Professor Shen Wei.

Once they finally team up, though, they do this genre/pairing proud. Why, there's nothing they can't solve except how to stay alive. Look at them here enjoying some fine nonverbal communication: "Oh my god, you're just like me—you too will fling yourself directly into bodily harm in order to save a clueless civilian. Okay this could be inconvenient for both of us. Also wow for a genetics professor you're really fucking built, do you lift my bro." (Yes. Yes he does lift.)

A final example: the cruelly short-lived 光渊 | Justice in the Dark (2023), which like Guardian is based on a danmei by Priest, 默读 | Silent Reading. I got baited into watching the eight (8) existing episodes by seeing a cut of Captain Luo Wenzhou taking on like forty guys with a champagne bottle, a pair of curtains, an axe handle, and a birthday cake, like some kind of cultivator. He's so big and hot, and he's so very dumb. He's also a cop, and ACAB (which is sort of the plot of Silent Reading); and Fei Du is possibly using him for his own nefarious ends (cf. possibly sociopathic and secretive). But underneath all of Fei Du's "I am the abyss, fear me, rawr!" scary posturing, like a puffed-up kitten, he's just a very pretty tender-hearted effete genius, and you can watch Luo Wenzhou melting, and practically pinpoint the exact moment when his whole heart flies out of his eyes and he decides: Yeah, okay, that's it for me. That one. The annoying little traumatized fuerdai with some kind of a death wish that I do not understand. I'll be throwing myself in front of bullets for him and/or cooking him dinner for the foreseeable future, thanks.

Priest is gonna mess with this dynamic of gong/shou caregiving and safeguarding, because that's what she does; but the fundamental beats are still there. Look at these ninnyhammers, just this second figuring out they're actually kind people who belong to each other.

Here they are confronting a suspect together. (You will notice the large butcher knife wavering in the foreground.) Luo Wenzhou, highly trained, nonetheless cannot de-escalate the situation. It takes a pretty playboy in an arm sling to come wandering into the room, and then, using his superb personal knowledge of what it's like to be traumatized to the point of insanity, getting the suspect to disarm. I just love the way they look at each other, incredulous (Luo Wenzhou) and mock-fascinated (Fei Du). If I ever meet the person who directed this scene I'm going to need to kiss them on the mouth.

Once you accept the gospel of Big Dumb Hot Cop and Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant into your media-based life, you'll find it has many applications, not all of which have to be procedurals. Consider: characters from the Daomu Biji franchise, possibly (Hei Xiazi is the biggest dumbest hottest not-a-cop I've ever met). Leverage, in a weird OT3 way. Assorted combinations of Avengers. Teen Wolf fic, absolutely. Various Stargate incarnations. Several other Priest danmei, not only procedurals. Definitely Mysterious Lotus Casebook. Et cetera. (You're on your own with MXTX, though.)

This has gotten long and there are still so many nuances and features and wrinkles and problems with the theory that should be ironed out, but it'll have to do for now. I'll simply close by saying: yes, there is also a classic example and you already know exactly who it is.

ETA: this fall I watched 雪迷宫 | The First Shot, starring Huang Jingyu and Wang Ziqi, among other stunning actors, and it rewired my entire brain. Guess who the leads are? Please meet Zheng Bei, captain of a brand-new anti-narcotics team. He's a big dumb northerner and he's just met Gu Yiran, effete southern genius consultant and pharmaceuticals chemist who's about to change his life and also help him catch meth kingpins. Here they are in a rare peaceful moment at home together. Did I mention they live together, because they do.

I quite literally lost my mind about this Zhang Yimou-produced drama and you should move heaven and earth to watch it; but the point is, it's them again. They argue, make up, tease each other, bicker tenderly, eat, walk, go on dates, save each other, bury loved ones, touch constantly, LIVE TOGETHER, and somehow survive a plot that really wants them both dead. Gu Yiran is also an unexpected badass who goes feral at the drop of a hat and has an almost Fei Du level of secret tragic backstory, whereupon Zheng Bei laughs and says: hold my beer, mine is even worse. They were made for each other in a lab and I am obsessed with them. There are other ships in this drama (because apparently Zhang Yimou said to himself at some point: you know what I have more money and cred than god, I'm gonna make a prestige Chinese BL version of Breaking Bad) but theirs is mine, because they embody this archetype so perfectly. If you like service top police captains and their high-maintenance brilliant consultants, you might appreciate The First Shot as well.

Also, however improbably, season 2 of 猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin is currently airing, so fans of this pairing are being very well fed. I leave you with an image of these two doing what they do best: Du Cheng is intimidating a suspect with the palpable choler of his irritation, also his eyebrows, whilst his genius wife Shen Yi has spent the last three years perfecting being bitchy and supercilious to a gorgeous and highly utilitarian degree. I feel a very normal way about them.

[kay-enemy]

As much as I love him as Red Hood, what if Jason made his big comeback as just... a better Batman? It could be like Battle for the Cowl except good.

He could make his name killing the worst of the named villains (Joker, maybe Professor Pyg if we ignore continuity) then become the Batman with less collateral damage (look he isn't shown being any less violent than Bruce, because DC writers believe might makes right when it comes to beating petty criminals to death, but I refuse to believe Jason "stealing tires from Batman to survive" Todd would not have more sympathy for thieves). Imagine a Batman who takes down violent criminals like rapists and killers but just stops the thieves and muggers like "bruh, don't rob these guys, I know someone with so much hereditary privilege and antique silver."

And then now that they have an option besides corrupt cops and corrupt bats, the people of Gotham might think "hmm, maybe minor crimes aren't an excuse for authority figures to break our bones and throw knives willy nilly."

[respectthepetty]

Now that South Korea and Japan have each remade a Thai series, I know that if either of them got a Director New series (We Are, Fourever You, Perfect 10 Liners), they would easily have these stories delivered in ten episodes or less and WARM AND COP WOULD ALREADY BE TOGETHER!

And this isn't me being delusional! The lighting changed to purple when Warm said he hadn't found anyone yet!

Red Rascal Arc with red text on his shirt is telling Orange Oddity Pond that nothing happened between him and Arm while Blue Boy Warm is getting hit with purple lighting as he looks at Purple Person Cop!

What would be the reason for this specific color lighting in a show fully color-coded if not to tell me these two color-coded boys are in love.

WITH EACH OTHER!

Arc is a Red Rascal.

Arm is a Yellow Yal with the yellow over his heart.

And they are color-coded boys IN LOVE.

Who are balancing each other out.

And Yellow Yal Arm told his color-coded friends, Blue Boy Sand and Green Guy Po, that Arc kissed him (without their shirts on) while a totally random red figurine sat between his legs.

So if the freshmen are color coded.

And the juniors are color coded.

And they are all in love with each other.

Then it can only mean one thing!

COP x WARM ARE COLOR-CODED BOYS IN LOVE TOO!

Now give them to me!

*GMMTV hands me cameos instead*

You know what? I'm fine with that too. I like Sea's side profile.

[iwasbored777]

I wanna know what's going on in the heads of everyone who watched Deadpool & Wolverine and think that the movie wasn't gay. Did you even watch the right movie?

[leafie-draws]

with September and the anniversary of my friend's passing I want to talk about her story. on September 3, 2020 my best friend Brooklyn was shot and killed by her stalker. Brooklyn and I were best friends and were working together at a restaurant at the time. one of our coworkers, Andre, began stalking and harassing us and used the contact form at work to call and text us. he was an incel and part of the MGTOW community, would brag about his guns at work and believed he could "fix" Brooklyn's asexuality if she dated him. he became obsessed with Brooklyn and would track her car/phone in order to find us and follow us around, even showing up at the same shops we were at. it escalated to the point where he got banned from our workplace and he started hacking Brooklyn's social media accounts pretending to be her, at one point texting me (pretending to be her) and asking me to meet up at a vacant lot at 3 in the morning with the intent to harm or kill me. at one point I even saw him pacing the road near my apartment with binoculars trying to find which complex I lived in. after months of quittiing jobs, changing numbers, filing police reports and being harrassed, stalked and threatened, I moved back home and lost contact with Brooklyn until sometime later when I heard that she had been murdered. Andre had been arrested but was later released and immedately killed Brooklyn at her home a week later. the police speak about what a sad tragedy it is but did the bare minimum to protect us, saying that it was just a little harmless cyber bullying, or that they couldn't do anything because there was no physical harm. most people we talked to would even go as far as asking Brooklyn "what did she do to the poor guy" or scold her for "hurting his feelings, leading him on" ect. the stalking, harrassment and threats weren't taken seriously at all and despite all the evidence and proof, despite doing everything right and asking for help, the police did not help her; they knew he was dangerous and they let him go and she paid for their mistake with her life and I will never forgive or forget.