#or do you literally just lapse your schedule 4 hours at a time

[garlickt]

hey j im having the most difficult time visualizing the way you implement this, but it's a very intriguing concept that my lil brain will work at like a puzzle for a bit

28 hour sleep/wake cycle fucking rules honestly. i get to see the sun rise all the time and also get the peace of late late night. it’s society that’s wrong. unironically

[rivers-rambles21]

The one with the road trip

Part 15 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Warnings | 18+ only  - no smut but mentions of it

Chapter 15 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

Apologies for any mistakes, this has been written on my phone and its a bit difficult to edit. Once I’m back with a working laptop I’ll give it a once over :)

Bucky had intended on renting a bike so you could ride down to Louisiana but with Sam’s suit it would’ve been an impossible feat. 

He settled for hiring an SUV and added you both to the insurance so you could take it in turns driving on the long trip down south. 

“Been together one day and we’re already on our first trip” You teased as you rested your feet on the dash, taking in the scenery as Bucky drove. His metal hand gripped the steering wheel as he peaked a glance over to your bare legs, resisting the urge to pull over. 

“You’re the one having a mid life crisis doll not me” You feigned offense and swatted the soldier beside you, pleased to get a hit in as he tried to dodge your attack. His eyes remained on the road as he grasped your hand in his. “Less of that thank you” He laughed, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back before giving it back to rest on your thigh, his hand not leaving yours. 

“Looking forward to seeing Sam again?” He didn’t respond but his face said it all. “You’re so dramatic” You chuckled as you leant down to root around in your bag for the road trip snacks. Retrieving a bag of cashews, you offered it to Bucky who gladly took a handful. 

“I just know he’s going to ask a billion questions about stuff we’ve not even discussed yet, that we’re probably not even ready to talk about. He didn’t stop asking about you y’know? Y/n this, Y/n that…he kept threatening to ask you out.” 

“Oh he did” 

The car swerved slightly as Bucky's grip on the wheel tightened, his concentration lapsing for a split second. 

“He did what?” He asked, tearing his eyes from the road to glance over at you. 

“It was just a bit of harmless flirting-” You began before being cut off. 

“We flirted.” Bucky stated, his jaw clenching. 

“We also did a lot of things just friends don’t do. Relax Sarge, he only asked to get a reaction out of me.” 

Bucky grunted in response, knowing his reaction was a tad over the top but he couldn’t help it. You were his. 

“We could always mess with him in return.” You pondered as you took a swig of your drink. “Maybe hold off on telling him about us, it’s only meant to be a flying visit anyway isn’t it? So we wouldn’t have to pretend for long… play him at his own game?” 

Bucky smirked in response, completely on board with your little plan.

  The next few hours passed with the typical car games and a quick power nap as Bucky continued driving. 

“How long until you start at Starks?” 

“A month thank god, the GRC wanted me gone pretty quickly, I didn't have to work my notice which was a blessing really. I’ll schedule a day to go and clear out my desk and say my goodbyes. Will you still get your pension if we live out of the country?” 

“I’m not sure to be honest, I can pick up work wherever we are though, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m good with my hands” 

“You’re telling me” You muttered under your breath. Bucky heard you loud and clear and let out a laugh as he recalled how you spent most of last night. “Are we crazy? Travelling with no plan, barely any money and only just starting out as a couple?” 

“Oh absolutely”

Eventually Bucky took a break from driving after you stopped for food in a roadside diner. It had been a while since you’d driven but you wanted to give Bucky the chance to get some sleep, something you knew he still struggled with. 

Despite telling him to try and get some sleep on the back seats, he remained upfront with you, doing his best to battle the drowsiness that had overcome him. He’d not gotten much rest the past few weeks, from battling the Flag Smashers in Europe, to hunting down Zemo and then back to New York. In truth he was worried he’d have a nightmare and wasn’t sure on how he’d react but upon your insistence, he tried to get some shut eye. After an hour or so he dropped off, the sound of you humming along to a song on the radio sending him off into a dreamless sleep. 

Bucky couldn’t quite believe it, he couldn’t remember the last time he slept without being haunted by memories of the Winter Soldier. Granted, he only got four hours of sleep , but it was the best he’d felt in a long time.

When it came to your turn to get some shut eye Bucky insisted on stopping over in a hotel for the night. You’d tried to convince him a motel would suffice after you lost the battle of you sleeping in the car but he was victorious. 

To be frank, after spending so many hours in the car, you were grateful to be sleeping in a bed with your super soldier by your side. 

As you slept, Bucky took the time to fire off a few emails advising he’d be ending his lease. Having slept earlier, he felt energised and was content in browsing the internet as you slept tucked into his arm. 

He did his best not to wake you as he opened a selfie from Shuri of her with Ayo and Nomble, a chuckle escaping his lips as Shuri and Nomble looked to be thoroughly enjoying themselves on a boat trip in New York whilst Ayo sulked in the background. 

He also replied to an email from his therapist's office, letting them know he’d be absent from his next session but planned on returning the following week.

Bucky was tempted to let Sam know he was coming but thought it best to surprise him.

The next day was much of the same, both of you switching the drive and stopping off at diners for food. Due to the lack of respect Bucky had for the speed limit, you were making good time and would be in Delacroix the following morning. 

“-it was like I didn’t exist. Honestly it was the most humbling experience of my life” 

“Sergeant Barnes in his uniform… now that is something I’ve got to see.” 

“Maybe one day”  

Your eyebrow perked at the thought. “Good god man” You groaned dramatically and sank further into your seat, giggling as you caught sight of the blush covering his cheeks. “For what it’s worth, lack of nutrients from the rationing clearly messed with her eyesight.” You were genuinely baffled how Peggy didn’t swoon for the man next to you.

“Where were you in the 40’s when I needed you huh?” 

“I doubt I’d have been your type” 

“Intelligent, strong woman with a great sense of humor? And thats not even mentioning your ass.. Oh no, definitely not my type” He replied sarcastically. 

“Ha ha fine, I’ll take your word for it.” 

“I’d have taken you dancing, maybe gone to a show or even the carnival. Anything you wanted.” He took your hand in his again and kissed the back of it as he pondered just how he’d of won you over back then. He usually didn't like to dwell on life before the war, the pain of losing his family and the future he lost was too much but having you in his life somehow made the memories hurt less. Having you with him now along with the future he could picture with you helped him make peace with his past life and accept that it wasn’t something he could ever go back to. 

When Steve was returning the stones, he did wonder whether he should go back with him but the realisation that there wasn’t anything waiting for him apart from a time that he didn't belong to made his decision to remain in the present resolute. And by god was he thankful he stayed.

On your way to your final hotel before arriving at Sams, you’d taken over the driving and had kept Bucky entertained with your off key singing and terrible car games. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” As it turns out, Bucky was a sore loser. 

“What? It counts!!” 

“You cannot see bacteria Y/N” 

“Yes I can! It’s right...right… right there!” You pointed to a random bit of the car interior and held back a laugh at a clearly unamused Bucky.

“You’re so full of shit” 

“How do you know I can’t see it huh? Guess it’s my turn again, I spy with my little -” 

“No” He cut off as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Absolutely not. I’m going to choose a game.” 

You let out a little smile and continued focusing on the road until the super soldier landed on something he liked. 

“Okay okay, would you rather sounds fun. Doll, would you rather have the superpower of being invisible or ability to fly.” 

“Aw come on Buck these are tame! If I have to answer, without a doubt invisibility.” 

“Not dirty enough for you sweetheart?” A tingle rang down your spine at your new nickname. “I’d have to agree, invisibility easily.” 

“Buck you’re an actual superhero, you’ve already got powers, leave some for us mere mortals!” 

“... you think I’m a superhero?” 

“....you’re literally an Avenger.” You reached across towards the man beside you, keeping your eyes on the road as you pressed your hand against his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and swatted your hand away from his head. “Fine you made your point.” 

You shook your head as you returned your hand to the steering wheel, tapping away to the song on the radio. 

“The rest of these questions are boring” He muttered as he furiously scrolled through his cell. 

“C’mon, go R rated” 

“It’s no fun when I already know the answers to these!” 

“Pfft doubtful, come on, hit me” 

“Spit or swallow, you’re a swallower doll.See?” 

“Okay okay! You’re right, I give in. How about we just ask each other some questions?” 

“But you already know everything,” He remarked, throwing a few cashews into his mouth. 

“When did you first see me as someone other than a friend?” You’d thrown him off guard with that question, his hand stuck in mid air as he went to throw more snacks into his mouth. 

“Wouldn't you rather know my most embarrassing sexual encounters?” He offered but was met with silence. “Fine……. I’ve never seen you as just a friend. Yes we were friends before we became more and honestly Y/n if it never progressed further than just friendship I would’ve been fine with it, more than fine with it y’know? Meeting you was the best fucking thing-” “Buck, it’s okay” Your hand reached out towards him and squeezed his thigh as you kept your eyes on the road. 

“There’s more… before we officially met in the lobby when that creep wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone, I’d seen you around. I was coming back from lunch with Yori and he was complaining about having gone for burgers instead of our usual and there you were, headphones in completely oblivious to the world and searching for your keys in your purse as usual. You were just so carefree - everything I wanted to be. And then a couple of days later we met and I was a goner.”

You bit your lip as you fought back a smile, overwhelmed by his honesty. It was a welcome feeling, knowing you weren’t the only one that felt an attraction almost immediately. 

“I’d seen you around too, before we officially met I mean. It’s kind of hard to miss you” You chuckled as you snuck a glimpse over at him and found him doing his usual glare. “It was pretty early on for me as well, do you remember when we went for coffee?” 

“And you ordered us two cups of sugar? Yeah I remember” 

“Mocha Latte’s aren’t bad for you�� they just give you a bit of a buzz” 

“Especially if you order extra cream…” 

“Anyway! I’ve always been attracted to you, I’m not blind y’know but after seeing this dark looming strong man consume a drink like that, and have some residue cream left on his lower lip mind you, I just knew that it was more than just a crush. There’s something oddly charming and attractive about seeing someone so intimidating be so soft. It’s like I’m the only one who gets to see that side of you and I love it” 

Bucky didn't quite know what to say, he was slightly flustered at the compliments you were throwing at him and by the knowledge that you’d been interested far earlier than he had ever dreamed of. 

“We’re idiots aren’t we? For not realising sooner.” 

“Oh without a doubt”

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[elitparadox]

Life Goes On~ (Pt. 4)

↳ miya osamu x f!reader

↳ fluff, comedy??

↳ 2.6k

↳ status: ongoing

↳ parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

You suddenly appear in haikyuu after watching the show for weeks now, and you’re trying to find a way out. Deciding to make the most of it, you learn from these talented volleyball players, cuz why waste an opportunity? You weren’t meant to fall in love with any of them, but with Osamu’s alluring formosity and talent, you can’t help but rethink your life that has led up to this exact moment.

It’s Sunday afternoon. During the span of two days, you tried to contact someone who could help you, but it was no use, because of course, no one believed your story. On the other hand, you became a little bit more acquainted with Osamu and his too-clean apartment.

Sighing, you turn away from your borrowed laptop as you focus on Osamu’s pencil that was writing unfamiliar calculus signs on his homework paper.

“Wait- what am I going to do?”

“Hm?” Osamu doesn’t turn around as he responds.

“Don’t I have to enroll in your school? Which is the nearest one, I suppose. The hours will pass by too slowly for my liking, and I must receive my education”

Osamu’s gaze lands on you. “You could contact the principal and ask if you could attend for a few weeks with an excuse.. You’re a… 1st year?”

“Yeah.”

Silence fills the room as the two of you brainstorm.

“I guess I could do that; do you know what the principal’s phone number is? And we’ll call as an unknown number. Can you lend me your phone?”

Osamu shrugs as he enters a password, opening the calling app to the principal’s number, and hands over his phone, fingers accidentally brushing yours, making the atmosphere a little awkward.

You press the call button after quickly switching the number identity, and someone on the other end answers.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” quick. make up a name. You fake a cough, changing your voice tone. “I’m Kagai Yinimi, Y/N’s mother. We recently moved to Japan, and I have not yet found a school fit for Y/N, but tomorrow is supposed to be the day she needs to go to school. Is there any way you could clear a spot for her?”

“Excuse me?”

You didn’t realize you just spoke English. Then it hit you. The whisper from your dream. This situation now. You’re a polyglot. (someone who can speak multiple languages fluently) You weren’t one before. So had haikyuu changed anything about you? But most importantly, why can’t you control it?

*ahem* go with the weird-everything-goes-her-way mom tone. “I’M TELLING YOU- Y/N NEEDS HER EDUCATION! COULD YOU PLEASE CREATE A SPOT FOR HER?? SHE CAN CATCH UP, AND, UM, SHE SPEAKS JAPANESE TOO!!”

During this whole time, Osamu was looking at you with a “what the heck are you doing” expression.

You shoot him a “come help me” glance.                                                          

Osamu takes the phone from you, alters his voice tone, and says, “Sorry. My, uh, wife can’t speak Japanese yet. But she’s saying that we just moved here, and Y/N, our daughter” *pauses* “-needs a school. Is there a spot for her?”

Silence first. But after about fifteen seconds, he responds.

“Yes. However, the prefecture needs more information about this, um, transfer student. How old is she?”

“15.”

“Parents name…”

So, after forty minutes, Osamu was finally able to enter you in the school.

You feel too grateful to the point that guilt eats at you for what Osamu’s doing for you, although he did have to tell the principal lies, but only because he doesn’t know you well

As Osamu ends the call, he turns around and asks “so what was all that? You can speak fluent English?” You stare at him quizzically. “Of course I can! Do you think I’m uneducated??”

He laughs, but you notice a hint of relief. “No. But why did you speak English to the principal even though you could’ve talked to him in Japanese?”

“Uh- I- the thing is, well, I’m not sure if this theory is accurate,” you said slowly, “but I think that if I talk too quickly, I speak English and if i speak a little slower like right now, I talk in Japanese” you shrugged. “I don’t really know”

Osamu looks confused for a second. You can hear him mutter “things are really weird right now”

“Mhm. Sorry, but it really wasn’t my fault that i’m in another dimension” like hell it wasn’t

He sighs slightly, then suddenly looks a little less pressured. How did he manage to change his expression so quickly??? uwu

“anyways, the principal says that tomorrow morning you can visit the main office and pick up your schedule. I could take you there-”

You cut him off. “Again, it’s ok; you don’t really have to do that- Uh, also, don’t I need textbooks? Once again, I apologize-”

“No,. it’s fine. Like I said, I’m glad to help- As for the textbooks, the teacher gives them out at the beginning of the school year, but you could ask the office tomorrow”

He smiles- a little weary, but still breathtakingly beautiful.

“Thanks again.” You feel an urge to hug him right then, but you don’t, instead walking back to your room. Because, after all, you need to return to your home and away from everything you’ve seen in these past few days.

Several more hours pass, lapsing into the night, and then morning. 5:30 A.M.

You yawn, stretching your arms and kicking the covers. Another day, another chance.

Wait- why was it nearly 5:30 in the morning? Didn’t Osamu say yesterday that school started at 7:50? It was way ahead of your usual wake time.

You hastily brush your teeth, untangle your hair as quickly as possible, change into your own clothes, and open the door, tiptoeing across the living room toward the other room to ask Osamu why his usual alarm was set so early in the morning.

But he’s already up, making breakfast. He turns around and notices you walking strangely about the living room.

Shoot.

You fake-cough and stand up straight, brushing off imaginary debris from your shirt. “Good morning? Um, also why is your- I mean my alarm set at this time?

“Because we have volleyball practice, remember? And you asked me for help. So it would be rather convenient to watch us practice.”

“Oh yeahhhh- I forgot. Sorry. By the way, do you live by yourself? I mean, without your parents or any siblings?”

Osamu nods, his eyes still focused intently on whatever he’s cooking.

“Okay. Uh, I was also wondering what people would think if you, um, suddenly came to school after a weekend with an, uh, immigrant, or whoever they think I am. You know what I mean?”

“Oh.” He seems thoughtful. “I could say you’re my cousin who’s staying at my apartment for around a year” He shoots a look at you. “Because, you don’t really know when you’ll be returning, right?”

You glance at the clock. It’s exactly 5:39 A.M.

“Yeah. So when does practice start?”

“You do ask a lot of questions, huh?” You can see the hint of a smirk on his cheek, making you blush. “At 6 A.M.”

“So then why are you packing a lot of food?”

“My lunch, remember?” Now he finishes preparing the light breakfast and lunch, turning around. “And yours too.”

You stare at Osamu for a little longer than usual, but quickly catch yourself, averting your eyes from his.

“Thank you again. I really don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t there to help me.”

You chuckle. It was such a lucky turn of events to meet him.

“Well, we only have around ten minutes to finish breakfast and clean up, so let’s hurry.” 

At approximately 6:00, you and Osamu enter a particularly large gym where a group of boys, the volleyball team, is warming up.

Whispers spread among them as they notice you following Osamu.

“Uh, ‘Samu? Who’s she?” A tall blond-haired boy, probably Atsumu, gestures toward you. 

Ah, so he wasn’t the flirting type that your friends like. Better tell them after you get back. If you even get back. If they would even believe you then.

“Oh, Y/N? She’s our cousin. She’s staying at my apartment”

You were pretty sure everyone on the team noticed the glare he shot at Atsumu. And you desperately wanted to climb under a rock and never come out. Nobody would believe that story now.

“Uh, well I’m only here to observe your practice. I just wanted to see everyone’s volleyball techniques and learn from there! Since I really want to advance my volleyball skills-” You cut in.

Your insides were shaking from the looks these tall boys gave you. You personally didn’t like the fact that people would view you as only Osamu’s cousin, but on the other hand, things could get fun.

“Sorry if I’m wasting everyone’s practice time. I- I should go”

“No, it’s fine.” A silver haired boy, whom you noticed was Kita, steps forward. “It’ll be nice to have someone watching and learning from our practice. And so that some people-” he shoots a glance at the twins “-won’t fool around.”

Ah. So he noticed how serious Osamu acted in front of you.

“Thank you.” You look down at your tattered shoes.

Although a few members of the team look at you cautiously, the others smile at you kindly.

As practice continues, you notice that there isn’t a female manager anywhere in the gym. Shaking your head, you focus again on the practice rally raging on. It was amazing how you had never known any sport that would involve so much shouting to cooperate and energy to race after the ball.

You were taking mental notes on volleyball techniques when a ball whizzed past you. You could literally feel the force traveling with the ball near your cheek. But then again, you were used to that stuff.

It bounced off the side wall and miraculously ended up beside your left foot. You picked up the ball carefully, checking for the brand name, and contented, threw it toward the next server. Atsumu. You had watched their routine, and it seemed that someone on the team or on the sidelines would retrieve the ball depending on where it was. So you had no worries of being judged. But all those thoughts vanished as Atsumu frowns at you.

And without even knowing the reason why he did so, you frown right back. It isn’t a big deal, but you decide that you would get over with Osamu’s twin brother right now. But then he smirks, averting his hazel eyes from you.

Out of the corner of your eye, a boy with weird dark hair turns away, clicking away on his phone.

“So what’s the deal with my brother?” Osamu asks as he leads you to the principal’s office at 7:20.

“Oh, nothing, just that he’s kinda rude?? And he doesn’t even know me! So why does he act like I’m his enemy? Wait- sorry I didn’t mean-”

“I agree.”

“HUh?” You looked at him, slightly amazed. “Oh yeah. You fight all the time.” No surprise there. “Welp, let’s see if we have any classes together in my new schedule”

Two minutes later~

“crot this” you mutter under your breath. “What am I supposed if I only have one class with you? If someone bullies me, I won’t make it out alive!!” you complained, voice lowering by the second as students nearby shoot looks at you. You could only imagine what they were thinking that had something to do with the new student, you.

“You’re exaggerating. It’s okay though, you have a class with Kita and two with Atsumu”

“oH okay, so you’re saying I have to put up with him??”

“Ignore him” He shrugs, indifferent about your so-called situation.

“Okay....”

The first part of the day went by fine. Except for some skeptical and often rude looks thrown in your direction, the teachers seemed kind and schoolwork was a breeze.

Holding the lunch Osamu prepared for you in a paper bag, you walk tentatively toward an empty table when you hear a voice behind you.

“Why don’t you come eat with us?”

You don’t need to turn around because Osamu’s already walking next to you.

“Maybe the others won’t feel comfortable? After all, I’m a stranger who randomly appeared in their school gym to watch them just practice?? Sounds suspicious, even to me. By the way, why did you lend me a room in your apartment? I bet others wouldn’t have, out of fear that they’ll be murdered or whatever”

Osamu stays silent for quite a while, and you two are nearing the volleyball team’s lunch table. You’re wondering whether you should apologize, but he says coolly, “That’s a good question. Although this might not make any sense, I invited you to stay because from the moment I saw you, a small voice in my mind said to help you” He shrugs. “It actually happened, believe it or not. How things have gotten weird these days”

Your mind’s racing for the nineteenth time today as you sit on a metal chair between Osamu and the dark-haired boy, Suna.

You don’t realize that you’re staring blankly into space until Osamu snaps his fingers in your face and says “Aren’t you going to eat your lunch?”

You shake your head to clear up your thoughts. “Yeah. Right.”

You pull out a recyclable container from the lunch bag, fumbling with the lid holds.

It was then all hell broke loose. 

And everything from here seemed like a movie on 2x speed.

You accidentally knocked down Osamu’s thermos/bottle, which was still open, and coffee spilled all over his lap and the floor.

You desperately grabbed some napkins and tried to clean up the mess while students from the other tables were bending over backwards to memorize this scene well, because it’s not every day someone spills water over someone’s lap and there’s chaos brewing in a normal high school. 

Suna was capturing the whole thing on camera, and Atsumu- well, Atsumu he actually was trying to help. 

But of course, that went wrong, because he somehow slipped on the floor drenched with water and landed flat on his back. 

Then a bunch of girls ran over one another to help him, and a teacher nearby rushed over to smooth things out. 

You figured that everything would be fine, because after all, it was a small accident, but some idiot decided it would be funny to throw his burger right in your face. See where I’m going with this? People shouldn’t follow this action, except: monkey see, monkey do. And humans are connected to monkeys, apes, whatever. So, just like in a cheesy cliche movie clip, a food fight commenced.

Fast forward a couple more minutes after lunch ends…

You sigh, rubbing your forehead. You’re seated in the principal’s office on a firm wooden chair next to Osamu, half-listening to the principal’s lecture.

“First day of school and...blah blah... due to inappropriate blah blah, you are suspended-”

The moment your brain heard and processed the word “suspended” your defense mode activated and you started to protest about how it wasn’t your fault and people shouldn’t suppose that you’re a troublemaker just because it’s your first day of school here

The principal sighs. “I understand, but since we don’t have a janitor, you and the other kid-” he nods at Osamu “- will kindly clean up the mess.”

You sink in the chair, your hopes deflating by the second. “Okay.” A second later, Osamu nods in acquiesce. It would be a hard day tomorrow.

The principal seems to read your mind because he adds, “Oh- and you two start today.”

reblogs are always appreciated! thank you for reading :)

[tsipasce]

Same Difference Ch.16

Her back ached as she hunched over her keyboard, only moving to grab the odd paper and examine it. Straightening up for the first time in hours she glanced at the clock on the wall that read 10:45pm, realizing she'd neglected two out of three meals today. Once Overhaul had left, she decided to catch up on paperwork and hadn't gotten up since, except to go to the bathroom and grab a glass of water. On her visit to the fridge, she was unsurprised to find nothing but water and condiments. Of all the ways to be a normal bachelor, he chooses this one… she bemoaned, trying to formulate a dinner strategy while on house arrest. After a beat, she made a couple calls,confident she'd found a loophole.

An hour or so later, the smell of lemon and herbs filled the kitchen as she checked between dishes. After going through her mental list of recipes, she decided chicken picatta with a side of rice would be easiest while also sating her growing hunger. Smelling the sauce, she grabbed a spoon to gauge if the seasoning was up to snuff. Closing her eyes, she considered the flavor.

"What are you doing?"

"Aggh!" She clutched her chest, almost choking on the sauce. Catching her breath, she shot him a ghastly look before continuing, "I know this is your house and all, but could you please not use the ~hitman stealth~ walk while I'm here?"

"No. You should just be more alert. Now answer my question: what are you doing?"

"Ah, well I know by your sad fridge you may not be familiar with the concept, but this is called 'cooking'." She piped in her best kindergarten teacher voice.

"Do not start with me tonight." He looked genuinely angry as he took a step forward, "Where did you get the ingredients? I specifically asked you not to leave and yo—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill out, Joe Goldberg, I stayed in the box. "

"What?"

"Ugh, if you watched TV like a normal person that would have been a great joke—anyway, what I'm saying is I didn't leave."

"Elaborate."

"Well it's this show about a guy who traps a gi—"

"Dammit I mean about how you got the ingredients without leaving."

"Oh yes, well I texted Kurono to call one of the guys who then called another dude who ordered it on Mostpates who then went back through the chain of communication until it was delivered to the door by one of your subordinates—with whom I had zero contact with—and now here I am. Still very much isolated from the outside world. Happy?"

He paused, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he towered over her. She deadpanned back until he relented, rolling his eyes and sighing; irritated with her consistent sass, but relieved Nanami was safe. Relieved a valuable ally was uncompromised, he sternly corrected as though to convince himself. Try as he may, the frequency of his little "unprofessional slips" when it came to her kept increasing. He reasoned that introducing her to Pop—the Boss, was simply strategic and necessary as she became more involved in their organization. These faux pas where he'd praise her behind her back to the Boss during their weekly dinners or lapse into these fantasies, he wouldn't dare speak aloud were merely obstacles he'd need to overcome. At some point. She's just an ally. He lied to himself yet again, before addressing her, "Don't do that without informing me first next time."

"Yes s— I mean, you bet." She said nervously clearing her throat before turning back to the stove. She would've continued indulging in her favorite pastime of getting on his nerves, but decided not to after getting a good look at him in the light. He looked tired and her sympathy won out over her need to continue poking the bear. Deciding it would be more sensible to make nice with her new roommate, she took a chance. "You know, I made a lot more than I was expecting if you wan—"

"I don't need anything from you," he reflexively shot back.

"Fine. Suit yourself." she shrugged turning back to the stove. One step forward, fifteen steps back. What do I even expect?

*grooowwwlll*

Her head slowly swiveled to him; her brows raised. She took the sauce off the heat, drizzling the aromatic cream over the steaming rice and herb-crusted chicken. She confidently maintained eye contact for dramatic effect, though she was quite surprised she didn't spill anything. A staring contest ensued, though they both knew the winner was the one who already possessed the literal chicken dinner. "Care to rethink your answer?"

"… If I get food poisoning it'll be your end." He acquiesced.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just hurry before it gets cold."

They sat down at the table across from each other, setting their places. Forgetting to get utensils, Nanami got back up and headed to the kitchen to retrieve them. "You can start without me, I forgot something," she said with her back turned as she found the drawer she was looking for. Looking at the pans, she decided it would be much less of a pain to put them in the sink now instead of after her self-induced food coma. As she reached for the pan, she heard a faint rustling and a hushed "Thanks for the food" coming from the table. She went wide-eyed for a split second at the realization, Well, guess you can't eat through a mask… gulping at the thought of finally seeing his face, she shooed the feelings away as mere curiosity, to no avail. Suddenly it felt too nerve-wracking to turn around as she continued to overthink, her utensils having been found long ago.

"If you leave your plate out any longer, I'm going to throw it away."

"What? That makes zero sen—" she turned to reflexively bicker but stopped short. After seeing someone masked for so long it felt strangely intimate to see his face. He was still facing forward, calmly devouring the meal as she studied his profile, his features catching the warm light above the dining table. Nanami hadn't known what she'd expected to see, but it wasn't this. It might have been less surprising if he had some maniacal countenance or monstrous face, but he just looked… Normal… Normal…and really fucking cute. Shit. Her conflicted look of disgust with herself and fascination with him was promptly misinterpreted as he turned to see why she'd stopped grimaced back at her as she continued her appraisal, finding his full expressions, instead of just eyes, to still be a jarring sight.

"Do you have something to say?"

"N-No, just getting some eating sticks! I mean utensils. Eating. Utensils." She cleared her throat, exuding awkwardness.

"…Right."

Exhaling, she hurriedly made her way back to the table, trying to carry on normally. She began eating, her hunger taking her mind off the previous blunder. Looking up to grab the pitcher of water to refill her glass, she inadvertently caught his gaze. Certain this would be a rare occurrence, she decided if she wanted to gawk, it would have to be now. Today she'd gotten a face and a name, and suddenly he seemed a lot more… human.

"You have a staring problem, and I'm going to fix it in a very unpleasant way if you don't stop."

Nevermind. "Says the guy that's blinked all of 3 times in the past 4 months." She scoffed," I don't have a 'staring problem,' I was just… surprised to see your face is all."

He paused before continuing eating, but she could tell he was still thinking, "… what's surprising about it?"

Now able to fully evaluate his expressions, Nanami could tell he was a mixture of indignant, but curious. I can work with that. "Hm? Oh nothing, nothing at all… Except…" she leaned forward across the table, her eyes heavy-lidded as they travelled from his eyes to his mouth, committing the pleasant features to memory.

He was focused now. "Except?" the word came out softer than intended, as she was close enough for him to catch the scent of lavender, the t-shirt she wore forming an almost dangerously revealing dip as she leaned forward. His jaw clenched as he fought to maintain eye contact, trying not to blatantly appreciate her suggestive positioning. The walls of the room felt as though they were shifting closer together as he waited with bated breath for her answer, or action.

"Except…You have rice on it," she tapped on her own face to show him where, grinning at his look of exasperation as she plopped back down to finish her last bite of food, missing how he briefly deflated. "So, how was it?"

"I don't feel any early signs of food poisoning," he began "but we'll see how the rest of the night goes."

Now feeling the sleepiness beginning to take over, she was too tired to give a quality retort. Sighing, she got up, grabbing her dish as she made her way back to the kitchen to clean up, the day finally catching up to her. She placed her dish in the sink and began searching for the gloves to start washing. Before she could locate them, she heard footsteps behind her.

"Move."

"Really? I share my food and then you insult it—surprise, surprise—and now I can't even clean up in peace" She began, but stopped as she turned to see him, his hands already clad in the yellow latex. His face was expressionless as he moved in her place and began tidying up. Taking it as her cue to leave, she dragged herself to her room to get ready for bed before he called back to her.

"Thank you for the food. It wasn't bad at all." He said, his back still turned as he continued cleaning.

She stopped, a half-smile appearing on her face as she could see he was trying to make nice, though he was obviously still not used to it, "…You're welcome. Hey, Overhaul?"

"Yes?"

"You should get some rest."

"Don't need it. Per our conversation earlier, I have unlimited stamina."

"Sure, but you can't overhaul your mind, now can you?"

"Ok, Dr. Phil." He mocked and her eyes shot wide. Before she could respond he continued, "And no, I will not answer further questions about that reference or how I know it. Goodnight."

Stifling a laugh, she turned to walk back to her room, "Goodnight."

The next week went by without incident and they began to form a routine. At 5:30 they'd get up to get ready for their jog. Nanami could tell she was on schedule by the sound of footsteps and water running next door that mirrored her own. Once finished, they'd convene in the front room, put on their shoes and head outside to stretch. Very few words if any were spoken, but Nanami enjoyed the comfortable silence. At work it was always expected that she'd be overtly personable and chatty, but she knew he had no such expectations. She could zone out and just exist and that was alrigh—

"Ahem", he cleared his throat as he waited expectantly for her to start their morning run. His hands bare for the first time in ages as one of his subordinates ordered the wrong brand, and he swore he'd break into hives if he used them. Both of them were sure they wouldn't need to touch any public surfaces on their run so the rarity of the occasion was dismissed.

"Oops, coming."

Without another word they began, Nanami putting her headphones in. After their third run, he was satisfied that he could handle an ambush as they gathered more intel about the Okamura, and she could indulge in her music while they ran. One of her favorite songs came on and she began stepping to the rhythm as her shoulders started to roll and her head bobbed to the beat, soon after she began mouthing the words.

"Every time I comb my hair

Thoughts of you get in my eyes

You're a sinner, I don't care

I just want your creamy thighs"

All the while she didn't realize her erratic movements and lip-syncing had caught Overhaul's attention as he watched from the corner of his eye. A few months ago, he wouldn't have been able to stomach the thought of sharing his home and free time with someone else without breaking out in hives, but now it felt… comfortable. It was comforting to come home to someone, to work with them and not be annoyed to the point of homicide (for him it was more rare than most), it was comforting knowing that someone was her.

She looked so carefree, so happy in the midst of everything while he felt the weight of the world had made permanent indentions on his shoulders. She didn't fit in this world; she didn't belong here. Or to anyone. The thought crossing his mind bitterly as his inner monologue took a familiar, pessimistic turn. Just looking at her brought that sickening warmth to his chest he coveted but didn't recognize as something he was capable of… that is until a couple of months ago. Now he found it showing up more and more, clouding his judgment. It was distracting. He had an objective and she was an important variable in achieving said objective—nothing more. How dare she make him... feel or even question if he was able to. It was disgusting.

Now able to recognize the feeling of being silently judged by him, Nanami looked up to meet his gaze. "Weren't you just lecturing me the other day about having a 'staring problem'?"

"I'm not staring, I'm just wondering why you're carrying on like this in public."

"Pssh, enjoying music—the great music of the illustrious Prince, nonetheless—is totally grounds for 'carrying on in public.' Being carefree every now and again isn't a sin, you know."

"There are enough frivolous people in the world. Why should I have to indulge them?"

"You call it frivolous; I call it taking happy moments when they come. You should just let people enjoy things and stop being such a stick in the mud. You never know, maybe you'll do something ~*wild*~ like enjoy yourself for once."

"Not all of us have the luxury of being empty-headed and self-indulgent."

At this she stopped running, the words sounding more like a personal attack than broad commentary. "What, so I'm a careless idiot just because I don't brood about my self-induced problems all the time?"

Their similarities began to surface as he took her comment in like fashion, both of them now offended at scenarios they'd created in their own heads. "'Self-induced'? You know nothing about my perceived 'problems' or how they came about. Nothing." His irritation quickly morphed into anger the more he thought about the implication that he'd chosen this life.

"And you don't know anything about my problems either. Just because I choose to be happy every blue moon and my issues usually don't involve me snuffing people out on the regular doesn't mean they aren't also really shitty."

"Oh, so you accidently blow up one kid and now it's a trauma you get to use as a crutch?"

Upon saying this, her posture straightened, and she looked at him evenly, a cold rage emanating from her. "So, you think that's all there is to me? I'm just some spoiled brat who's always had her way and now that I'm exposed to your big, scary reality, my little traumas don't compare? My tender little world is being shattered by the brutality and violence of your 'real' one? If anything is self-indulgent it's your narcissistic assumption that you're sob story is somehow worse than everyone else's" she said, venom dripping from her words.

He hadn't seen her like this before. They say when telling a person's age, that wrinkles and proportions are the best tells. In truth, there's a certain "look" that begins to form over time, one's experiences flash behind their eyes, an amalgamation of memories; they've seen things, their innocence eroding with every visage adding years to even the most verdant skin. As Nanami spoke, he saw an age in her eyes that didn't match her face. There was a certainty in her gaze that only came from seeing the grotesque with one's own eyes and deciding to keep looking. Her words were telling, but her stare was what filled the pages of the novel being written between them. Ever obsessed with purity, he assumed he'd be repulsed by the revelation, but it only made her seem closer. Her presumed naivety that he thought separated them was being chipped away. He wanted to know more, to become closer.

He was entranced as she seemingly riled herself up, "I've been through more than you could ev—" She stopped short, shaking her head as she bit her lip, looking off into the distance at something only she could see.

"What do you mean?" He coaxed her to finish her thought, now hopeful.

"No. I think I've told you enough. You've made your judgment and I'll have to live with the fact that I made a mistake, as will you."

"What? This conversation isn't ov—"

"You don't get to decide that," she snapped. "I'm heading back, and I suggest you take the long way around."

A grave look came across his face at being commanded, "That's not how this works, and you will not cut me off again, or I'll-"

"Or you'll what?" She was back in his face, a familiar defiance in her eyes. If she was poking the bear before, this was an entire stabbing.

"You don't want this." He warned.

"You have no idea what I want."

As things boiled over, they were much too close, a static in the air building between them, fingers pointed as they continued to argue. They were ultimately too close, for no more than a millisecond, but that small error was all it took for the reaction that followed. In that brief moment, they made contact, a blast followed that sent them both flying in opposite directions. Nanami hit one of the walls that lined the streets with a sickening thud. She slumped, unconscious, a stream of red dying her silver hair.

[stellar-alley]

Everfalls

•Chapter 11•

This is based off of the artwork by oceanteeeth on Instagram! Also shout out to my Beta super.rose.cosplays!

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

(Summary: Eddie finds out someone has been spying on him. Something comes up that could possibly jeopardize their plans for the next full moon.)

~

“So, as most of you are probably aware, this time of year is special for the english department. We’re beginning our Shakespear unit, and as past students might’ve told you, we always start the unit with a field trip” Mr Brock addressed the class from where he stood at the front of the class.

Eddie shot a glance over at Richie who shared the same look of wonder and confusion.

“On the 26th our class will be venturing to the small island off the coast of Maine which is only accessible during certain times, due to high tide. But this is no normal island. This island is the place of William Shakespear’s summer cottage, the place where he developed most of his best stories.” Mr Brock reached towards his desk and lifted up a stack of papers.

(Guys this stuff about William’s summer house is complete bullshit and solely for story purposes)

The teacher walked to the row closest to him and instructed the student that sat before him to take one and pass it back.

The paper hadn't even reached Eddie yet, he was already looking at Richie for guidance, a look, anything. Once the pile fell onto his desk he quickly grabbed one and passed the rest back. He scanned the page, he read it over quickly, confirming what he was afraid of.

The field trip is on the day of the full moon.

~

“What the hell are we gonna do?!” Eddie’s voice grew louder, as did his worries.

“We gotta go on this trip! Brock literally fucking said we are either sick or there, because that damn final project revolves around that trip” Richie realized with a sigh. He ran a hand through his hair and tugged on the ends.

The wolf’s ears perked up a little bit, “Wait- the trip is during the day, so shouldn’t we be fine? As long as we get home in time for the moon to rise, we’ll be okay!” He realized as his voice filled with hope.

Where Eddie sat on Richie’s bed, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, he sighed. “I guess you’re right… It’s just, fuck, that thing last night, now this” Eddie stressed.

That caught Richie’s attention. “What thing last night?” He questioned, taking a seat beside Eddie.

Oh yeah, I never even told Richie

Eddie kept his eyes shut as he spoke, his voice tinted with fear, “I think someone followed me home last night”.

Richie tensed at the news, “What the fuck? Are you okay? What happened?”,

Eddie turned his head to look at Richie as he still leaned on his knees. “I-I don’t know. But the entire time I walked home I knew I wasn't alone. I don’t know who it was, or why they followed me- but I’m worried. Rich… What if it’s the council? What if they found me? I-I can’t go back” Eddie sat up as he began to think about what would happen if the council did find him, “I can’t go back” he whispered.

Richie put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, a small gesture that created big emotions in both of them. “And you won’t. I won’t let it happen, Eddie. I won’t let them take you” He assured the rabbit.

~

“And this is a mandatory trip?” Wentworth repeated as Eddie and Richie both nodded their heads.

The boys had confronted Maggie and Went in the kitchen. Richie and Eddie stood side by side leaning against the counter behind them, while Maggie and Went stood on the opposite side of the kitchen.

“Yes sir! He said unless we're pukeing up a fucking lung then we should be there” Richie explained.

West's lips tightened into a thin line “Son, language” he advised.

“Hm yeah” Richie grunted, “Okay but I mean technically since it's during the day we should be fine. As long as we're home before the moon rises-”

“Which we will. It says we'll be home by 4” Eddie pips up, he pointed to the schedule on the form.

“Exactly, so we'll have more than Enough time before the moon rises” Richie explained.

Went and Maggie shared a glance, “But honey what if something happens? The full moons are the day you're most prone to outbursts” Maggie pointed out, her voice laced with worry.

“ Yes but don’t forget, I'll also be there, I can help him.” Eddie assured them.

“We'll protect each other,” Richie proclaimed, his hand brushed against Eddie's.

Went shook his head, “What about the high tide? If something happens-”

“We will be the first ones on the bus” Richie stated.

“And stay together, okay? We’re stronger in numbers” Maggie advised them as she placed a hand on her husband's shoulder.

“And if anything happens, you'll call us?” Went said. The boys nodded their heads in unison.

The beep of the oven timer breaks the tension in the room. Maggie smiles, “So who wants lasagna?”.

~

Friday after school Richie drove Eddie home. The bunny had gotten fairly used to riding in the car. Even though his heart was no longer beating out of his chest, his hand still always found Richie's during their time in the car. Neither of them mentioned it, they simply enjoyed the touch.

“So, I wanna show you something.” Eddie said as he led Richie into his house.

“Yeah? What's up Eds?” Richie cocked an eyebrow at the change of Eddie's tone, he sounded a bit serious and worried.

“I-I found something. The other night when I thought someone followed me, I began going through my dad's old books. And the protection spell has a lot more functions then I thought. Can I show you something?” Eddie took a seat on the couch in the family room.

Richie followed suit and got comfy. He nodded, watching as Eddie twisted his wrist in a practiced motion, calling a book to his hand. These are the little things that still blew Richie's mind, the powers that Eddie wielded. He once asked Eddie to teach him, which the rabbit tried, but he explained how it's harder to do when it's taught later in life, especially to werewolves.

He flipped through the pages and found the one he had bookmarked. “So I found out that the forcefield is always recording, just like your- uh, whatcha call the...” Eddie closed his eyes, trying to think of the word.

“Security cameras?” Richie tried.

Eddie snapped his finger, “Yep, security camera. And I wanna show you what it picked up” he explained, he held his hands out.

Richie placed his hands in Eddie's, he closed his eyes when Eddie did. Though his eyes were closed, he could hear the words Eddie mumbled under his breath, presumably a spell.

What Richie didn't see was when Eddie's eyes burst open, their normal brown gone, replaced by their natural ice blue. He was looking but he wasn't seeing.

At first there was the image of the house, it stood in the middle of the field in all its glory. Eddie mumbled something under his breath and the boys watched as the sun moved around the house as if it was a time lapse video. The sun was past midday, a couple hours before it would begin to set. Eddie said something else, then the image changed. Instead of looking in, they were now looking at the footage of outside the force field. Facing the direction that led them back into Derry. They zoomed in on Eddie as he exited the forest towards the house. Watching as he walked through the field. When he passed their gaze they realized that was when he passed through the forcefield. For a little while the two were simply watching nature at its finest. The wind blowing through the trees, the sun casting shadows onto the grassy meadow. Something caught their eye in the forest. A figure stepped out from behind one of the various towering evergreens. It surveyed the land before proceeding. Eddie whispered a command and the footage zoomed in. The figure stood still for a while. It zoomed in further and stopped once they had a clear image of their suspect. Both the boys almost immediately recognized the culprit. Eddie let the footage continue as they watched the human’s face drop in shock before he tripped, then ran out and back into the forest.

Eddie released the spell with a gasp. His eyes wide as they reverted back to their normal state of brown. He inhaled heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

It took Richie a minute or so before he broke out of the spell induced trance. His eyes snapped open as he gasped for air. “What the-” He heaved, “Was that Bill?”.

“Yep…” Eddie confirmed, his voice dull as it lacked emotion. The footage still replayed in his head of Bill’s face filling with shock.

“He saw you go fucking invisible” Richie realized as he raked his hand through his hair.

“Yep…” Eddie repeated, eyes blank as he listed all the possible thoughts that Bill could’ve had when he saw Eddie just fucking disapear through the forceifeld.

“But why the hell was he following you? It makes no fucking sense unless… Fuck, didn’t Bill mention a white rabbit the other day at lunch?” Richie asked.

The question brought Eddie back to reality. “He did! What if he saw me that night when-” Eddie cut himself off before he could finish his sentence. The night I shifted and spied on you as you sang your heart out to a song about me.

Richie leaned forward, his attention grabbed, his eyes filled with suspicion, “What night?” he asked.

The rabbit shook his head, “No, no it’s nothing” Eddie tried to brush it off.

“Eddie, What. Fucking. Night?” Richie pronounced each word individually as his tone grew stern. He didn’t mean to scold Eddie like this, but now he was filled with worry as their secret could possibly be in danger.

Eddie looked to the side, not meeting Richie’s gaze, “I followed you home one night…” He mumbled quietly.

“You what?” Richie asked, he clearly heard Eddie with his enhanced hearing, but he wanted to hear him admit it.

Eddie’s head snapped to face Richie’s, something inside of him suddenly burning, “The night after I had my fucking anxiety attack at school? Yeah, I followed you home. And I watched you and Bill talk about God knows what-”.

“Eddie what the fu-Why would you do that?” Richie barked, he stood up from his place on the couch. “Are you jealous or some shit?” He demanded.

“What? No! Why would I be jealous? I just needed to see you, okay? I felt bad about storming off after you helped me at school” Eddie confessed, the sentiment there but his tone still harsh.

“Yeah since you just fucking left me in the bathroom after I literally saved your ass” Richie scoffed.

Eddie rolled his eyes, “And I said I was sorry. Okay? Now can we please just focus on this whole Bill thing? Our secret could seriously be in jeopardy” His voice went cold. Eddie has never had to worry about his secret getting out because in The All Lands everyone shared the same secret so there was nothing to let out.

“Fuck I forgot… We can’t just ask him” Richie was stressing, his eyes nervously darted around the room. “Wait! What if we ask Stan to help? He’s closest to Bill and he already knows about us. Plus he’s always down to spend more time with Bill, especially since he-“ Richie stopped mid sentence, eyes wide as he realized the secret he was about to spill.

Eddie’s brow furrowed with confusion, “Since he what?”.

“What?” Richie asked, playing dumb.

“What?” Eddie repeated. He shook his head in frustration, “Something about Bill and Stan?” he clarified.

Richie didn’t think before he spoke, “Oh Stan crushing on Bill?” Richie immediately slapped his hand over his mouth. “Fuck” He whispered with wide eyes.

“Wait. What, really?” A ghost smile played over Eddie’s lips. “Stan? and Bill? Oh I could so see them together” He gossiped.

“Right? Wait shit, I didn’t mean to tell you. Stan barely even knows” Richie joked, the tension slowly evaporated between them.

“Well whether he knows or not, do you think Stan could help us?” Eddie inquired.

Richie crossed his arms over his chest and held one hand up to stroke his imaginary beard, “Yes… I think this might just work”.

Word Count: 2070

I cannot belive we just finished chapter 11! Guys it's about to get really good from here, I mean it was good to begin with, but now the plot thickins! Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed and I will see you all next week, so until then,

So Long and Goodnight.

~

[Taglist]

@richietoaster @s-onora @that-weird-girl-blog @beproudtozier @ghostnebula @bellarosewrites @s-s-georgie @lermanslogan @iamcupcakefrosting @madidraw @gazebobullshit @thoughtfullyyoungduck @aangzukos @ambitiousskychild @reddieonwheels @breadheadscorpius

Let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list!

[gryffindorcls]

The Best Friend Swap:  Chapter 4

The remaining heroes worked diligently to return the relocated citizens to their respective places.  When August was reunited with his family, Chat breathed a sigh of relief.  It was always rewarding to liberate one of Hawkmoth’s tortured victims.  He knew that each Parisian lived in a state of distress.  It was paramount for the Miraculous holders to assuage the fears of people lest there be more individuals captured by one of Hawkmoth’s lackeys.  

However, fear does not subside simply because one is given a Miraculous; instead, fear tends to increase ten-fold when you’re given the power to make a difference.  Like the rest of the holders, Chat constantly felt the pressure that came with the responsibility of protecting the city, and he knew that there were times that Ladybug was nearly crushed by her sense of duty.  For this reason, he wanted to protect her...to be the partner that she needed in battle.    

True, he didn’t always do what she wanted.  Chat still tended to be a little sacrificial at times, but he couldn’t help himself.  It was his job as the holder of the Black Cat Miraculous.  Nonetheless, he trusted his lady with his life, and he would do anything for her.  Marrying her would give him the chance to do the same outside of the mask.  That’s why tonight needed to be perfect.  He knew that she loved him no matter what, but he wanted this to be the best night of her life.

Unfortunately, the rain started while the heroes were still helping the citizens return to their homes.  As a result, some of the decorations had gotten wet by the time the group arrived at the monument.

“If only the Miraculous Cure could work on stuff like this,” Adrien mumbled to himself.

Plagg peeked out from behind his holder’s shirt collar.  “And that’s what Tikki and I were trying to teach you with the Atlantis story.”

“Please don’t bring that up ever again.”

“Fine, but the Miraculous Cure still won’t solve all of your problems.”

“Yes, but I don’t need the Miraculous Cure to make my life better.  Sometimes it would be convenient...like being able to fix the soggy decorations.  However, I have a wonderful group of people who will help and support me.  Together, we can figure it out.  After all, Marinette always says that there’s a solution to every problem.”

“And that’s the real lesson here, kid,” the Kwami declared, “You don’t have to go through anything on your own.  These people will always be there for you...just like Marinette...and me.” 

“I love you, too, Plagg,” Adrien chuckled, “Now, let’s get to work!”

He and the rest of the team worked unceasingly to decorate the indoor deck at the top of the Eiffel Tower.  After several hours, he watched Kagami take a step backward as he and Luka hung the banner across a beam.

“How does it look?” Adrien asked with a strained voice, holding the banner above his head. 

After taking a moment to assess their work, she nodded.  “Luka needs to raise his side a little, but otherwise it’s fine.”

Adrien secured his half to the beam and allowed his arms to flop to his sides.  He released a heavy sigh and surveyed the space around him.

“This place looks incredible, everyone.” he announced to the room full of Miraculous holders, “I can’t thank you enough for your help.  I would not have been able to do this without each of you.”

Luka patted Adrien on the shoulder.  “Anytime, friend.  We’re not just superheroes who work together, we're a family...and family members always help each other out.”

Adrien paused before continuing.  “You know what?  You’re right.  We are a family, and I would be honored if all of you would celebrate with us tonight.”

Kim walked over and slung his arm around Adrien’s shoulders.  “You can count me in!  We’ve been watching you two drool over each other for years, and I know I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”

The rest of the holders nodded in agreement.

Alya cleared her throat.  “As wonderful as this tender moment is to watch, Adrien and I have fifteen minutes to get to his father’s house.”

Adrien pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped the screen to see the time.  “Jeez, she’s right.  We have to go, but I hope you’ll all be here later.  Once again, thank you.”

The Ladyblogger grabbed the model’s arm and dragged him to the elevator before he could say anything else.  He toyed with the ring’s box in his pocket and breathed away another bout of nervousness.

“It’s almost time,” he thought to himself.

***

Nino checked the clock on his phone for the thirteenth time.  “Marinette, we have to leave right now if we’re going to make our two o’clock appointment.”

Marinette grabbed a few more daffodils to shove into the bouquet she was helping him to construct.  “Oh, calm down!  We lost a little bit of time with the Akuma attack, but I think what we’re doing now is a little bit more important than whatever Adrien has planned for us to do.”

“No, it’s not.  He will not be happy if we miss this.”

“Okay! Okay!  What exactly does my boyfriend have us doing together?”

“Uhhhh….you’ll see.”

Marinette giggled.  “Fine.  Keep your secrets.”

Nino tapped his foot on the ground and released a shaky breath.  “We have to go.”

She gently turned the flowers in her hands and observed her handiwork.  She felt satisfied with the fullness of the brightly colored bouquet of daffodils and daisies.  

Marinette finally turned to Nino and shook her head.  “It’s ready.  I just hope she likes it.”

The nervous DJ grabbed the flowers from her hand, rushed up to the counter, and pulled out his wallet.  “It’s beautiful, and she’ll love it...but we have to go right now.”

Seconds after the cashier handed Nino his change, he took Marinette’s hand and dragged her out of the flower shop.  To her surprise, one of the Agreste family cars was waiting for them by the curb.

“Why did Adrien send us a car?” she questioned, “We didn’t follow the schedule at all.  How did he know where to send it?”

“I told him where we were.”  Nino opened the door and pulled her inside the car.

“Where are we going?  Why do we need to go by car?”

“Look, he didn’t want us to get wet in the rain.  Please stop asking questions that I’m not allowed to answer.  Just go with the flow.”

“What do you mean you’re not allowed to answer?”

“Marinette!” he groaned.

She crossed her arms and playfully rolled her eyes.  “Well, whatever he has planned, let’s hope that he hasn’t gone overboard.”

Nino turned his head and mumbled.  “It’s too late for that.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!”

“Why is everyone so weird today?”

Hoping for a response, Marinette looked at Nino, but he continued to look out the window at the passing scenery.  She slumped in her seat and released a huff.

“Do you remember the plan?” she said, breaking the silence that had settled between them.

The DJ whipped his head around and bit his lip.  “What plan are you talking about?”

Marinette knitted her brows.  “We only talked about one plan.  OH!  Are you talking about Adrien’s plan for tonight?”

“NO!” He waved his hands wildly.

She chuckled.  “Don’t worry.  I literally have no clue what’s going on.  I promise that I haven’t figured anything out.  I should have known that my boyfriend would have something up his sleeve.  He always does stuff like this.  No, I’m talking about your plan for Alya.”

Nino breathed a sigh of relief.  “Got it.  That plan.  Yes, I remember.”

“I’m just excited that they still had space available for that moonlit cruise on the Seine tomorrow night.”

“Me, too.  I also can’t believe that you were able to talk to the owner and convince him to let me play a song for her.”

“If we’re being honest, working for one Agreste and dating another one has its perks.  I’ve made a lot of connections.  I can’t even imagine having a last name that powerful.”

“Well, you should.”  Nino clapped his hands over his mouth the moment the words escaped his lips.  “I mean...uhm…one day you’re going to be a super famous designer right?  You’ll be a household name.  Yup...it has nothing to do with being an Agreste...psh...like...could you imagine?”

“Wow...you are not good under pressure, are you?  Adrien must have something big planned.”

“I am not at liberty to say,”

“So...it is something big...isn’t it?”

“You know what?  I’m just going to stop talking now.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and rested her head against the window.  She pressed her forehead against the cool glass and allowed her mind to wander.  She felt the faint sensation of anticipation bubbling in her gut, and while she didn’t know why, the feeling put a smile on her face.  Anything her wonderful, dorky boyfriend did made her smile (except when he put himself in harm's way during battle).  She loved him more than anything, and she looked forward to their “happily ever after”.  Sure, she and Adrien had talked about marriage before, but they never made any solid plans.

“Maybe I’ll have to start dropping some hints,” she thought, “Perhaps I’ll have Alya help me with that.”

For now, she was content with where they were.  Over the years, they had grown significantly as individuals and as a couple.  At the beginning of their relationship, it broke her heart to see Adrien so desperate for love.  She can still see the fear in his eyes every time they had quibbled over something small.  Even more so, she remembers all the times he had lapsed into a panic attack when they argued over a bigger issue.  Eventually, he began to believe that there was nothing that would make her stop loving him.  

She was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.  Just as the moon moves the oceans, she was caught in the gravity created by his love.  Adrien was magnetic, and she happily stayed by his side.  Marinette knew that she would love him for the rest of her life, and she was glad that he finally knew that, as well.

The car came to a stop, and the change in movement broke Marinette out of her lovesick reverie.  She laughed upon seeing their destination.

“Why on earth are we at the Gabriel flagship store?” she began, “Adrien knows this is my day off, right?”

Nino grunted in frustration.  “You know I can’t answer any of your questions!  Please just come with me.”

“Oh, alright.”

“Thank you!”

They both exited the vehicle and made their way into the building.  Once inside, they were greeted by several friendly associates and a very exuberant stylist.

“Good afternoon, Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng,” the man said with a smile, “Please come with me so we can get your hair and make-up done before we help you put on your dress.”

“Dress?” she asked, looking back at Nino.

“Why yes!” the stylist exclaimed,  “Monsieur Agreste was very specific about tonight’s look.”  

With a flourish, the man grabbed a garment bag off of the rack.  He then carefully unzipped it, revealing its contents.  

Marinette gasped.  “Oh, kitty.  What on earth do you have planned for us tonight?”

*** 

Luckily, the rain stopped just as Adrien and Alya finished with the stylists.  They stood next to the road waiting for Marinette and Nino to arrive.

Alya had picked out a black knee-length cocktail dress with lace sleeves and intricate beading on the bodice.  Adrien wore a black tailored suit with a deep red tie.  

He knew that he looked ready for tonight, but he was beginning to question whether or not he felt ready for tonight.  Adrien wanted to do this, but he was afraid that his words would fail him when the time came...and that he would wind up screaming the question and throwing the ring box at Marinette.  (That was only one of many scenarios that were running through his mind.)

Adrien paced back and forth in front of the curb.  He fiddled with his cufflinks in an attempt to keep his hands out of his styled hair.  He swallowed and released a shaky breath.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks.  Adrien turned to see Alya shaking her head with a smirk on her face.

“You are going to put a hole in the ground if you don’t stop,” she teased.

Plagg plopped down on Adrien’s shoulder.  “Yeah, kid.  Making holes in the ground is my job.  Right now, your job is to stand here and look pretty until your lady love arrives.  Got it?”

Trixx popped her head out of Alya’s hair.  “Aren’t you a model?  Standing still really shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

Adrien threw his head back and groaned.  “I know!  I know!  I’m just so nervous.  Like, my tongue feels kind of fuzzy, and I’m suddenly aware of the fact that I can’t feel my earlobes.”

“That’s...different,” Alya turned to Plagg, “I think he’s broken.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”  The Kwami flew in front of his holder’s face and poked Adrien’s nose with his paw.  “Do you remember the time you finally worked up the courage to ask out Marinette on a date?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t feel my elbows that time,” Adrien’s eyes grew wide, “OHMYGOD, PLAGG!  IT’S SPREADING!”

Plagg growled, “No, kid, it’s not.  Think...what I did to snap you out of it last time?”

“Ummm, you bit…” Adrien’s hands flew to his ears, “Do not bite my ears, Plagg.  Your teeth leave marks, and we have a photographer here tonight.”

“I will not hesitate to take matters into my own hands if you start spiraling again. Understood?”

“Ugh...yeah.”

Trixx giggled.  “Do you remember the time you bit that soldier in that little American town...what was it called again?”

Plagg sighed wistfully.  “You’re thinking of Concord, Massachusetts.  Now THAT was a fun time.”

“Do you even know who you bit?”

“Nope.  I do know that it spooked the guy so much that it caused him to fire his musket.  Ahhh...the chaos that erupted after that was truly beautiful.”

“Wait a minute...I remember reading about that town in World History one time.”  Alya feverishly typed on her phone.  “Aha!  Here it is...blah blah blah...shot heard around the world...yadda yadda...hold on...Plagg, did you start the American Revolution?”

Adrien turned to her with a deadpan expression.  “He also sunk Atlantis.”

“What? How?”

“God, no.  Please don’t ask for details.”

Plagg crossed his arms.  “Hey!  First of all, I didn’t bring it up this time...you did!  I kept my promise.  Second, Tikki was part of the whole Atlantis thing.  You can’t pin it all on me.”

“Yes, but Tikki was not the one who Cataclysmed the support beams,” Adrien noted.

Plagg squinted.  “Okay, that’s technically true.”

“Hey, you two,” Alya chimed in, “Shut up!  I think Marinette and Nino just pulled up.”

Adrien could feel his heartbeat throughout his body.  He swallowed hard, but it didn’t help.  When Marinette stepped out of the car, he lost the ability to breathe.  He knew she would look good in the dress when he picked it out for her, but he didn’t know that she would look this resplendent.

She wore a deep red evening gown with an asymmetrical skirt.  The bodice clung perfectly to her form while thick sleeves draped off her shoulders.  Her hair was fashioned into a cascade of raven curls, and a delicate silver chain sporting a diamond pendant rested on her neck.

They locked eyes.  She smiled, ran over to him, and pulled him into a hug.  “Hey, kitty.  You sure do clean up well.”

He rested his cheek on her hair.  “I know I call you “Princess”, but tonight you look like actual royalty.”

“Does that make you my Prince Charming?”

“Maybe...or perhaps I’m just a lowly knight looking to sweep his lady off her feet.”

“Why can’t you be both?”

“I will be whatever you want me to be, Bugaboo.”

She pressed her nose against his.  “I think I’d be content if you were the love of my life.”

“Done.” Adrien leaned in and placed a gentle peck on her lips, eliciting a giggle from Marinette.

“If you two lovebirds are quite finished,” Alya interrupted, “I think we have a dinner reservation to keep.”

“Here?” Marinette asked, “At the Eiffel Tower?  WAIT...are we finally eating in the 58 Tour Eiffel Restaurant!?  Did you get us a table overlooking the Trocadero?  I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Adrien scratched the back of his neck.  “Ummm...not exactly, but it’s something like that.  Follow me and you’ll find out.”

He reached for her hand, but she pulled away and turned towards the car.  “Hold on!  Before we do anything else, Nino has something to say!  Come on out, Nino!”

The dapper-looking DJ stepped out of the vehicle holding the massive bouquet of daisies and daffodils in one hand and a silver envelope in the other.  He walked over to Alya and chuckled nervously.

“Hey, babe.”  He thrust the bouquet and the envelope into Alya’s arms.  “These are for you!”

The Ladyblogger cradled the flowers and gave her boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.  “My silly, boy.  What have you been up to today?”

“There’s more, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow.”  He looked at the ground while he spoke.

“Is this what you’ve been doing instead of the scheduled activities?” Adrien asked while still holding Marinette.

She grinned.  “Nino wanted to do something romantic for Alya, so I decided to help him.  I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all, Princess.  It’s very sweet.  You’re always thinking about others.  That’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”

“Good...because he was hoping to sweep her off her feet like you are currently doing for me right now.”

Alya put a hand on Nino’s cheek.  “Consider me successfully swept, wonderful you.”

“Really?”  Nino leaned into her touch.

She placed a lingering kiss on his lips.  “Yes.”

Adrien looked at the group.  “Shall we continue this conversation over dinner?  I’m really interested to hear about everything you two did today.”

“Of course, kitty.  Lead the way!” Marinette giggled.  

The group walked towards the Parisian monument and boarded the first elevator.  Marinette was shocked when Adrien led her to the second elevator that would take them to the top of the tower.  When they arrived at the indoor deck, they were greeted by a room full of family and friends.

Marinette turned to Adrien.  “What have you done, minou?  What are all of these people doing here?”

He smiled.  “They’re here to celebrate us.”

Adrien stepped closer to Marinette and took her hands in his own.  She emitted a small gasp as he got on one knee and looked up at her.

“Princess,” he began with a twinkle in his eye, “when my life fell apart five years ago, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to recover, but you never left my side.  Through my darkest days, you were a beacon of light.  I have loved you since the day I met you, but your patience and understanding made me fall even more in love with you.  Unfortunately, you and I live in a world of uncertainty.  We never know when the next threat will come our way, and we will never know what tomorrow brings.  There are so many things that we will never know.  However, the one thing I do know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He released her hands and pulled the ring out of his pocket.  As he opened the box, Marinette covered her mouth and suppressed a happy sob.

“Marinette,” he took a deep breath, “will you marry me?”

She nearly tackled him to the ground as she fell to her knees and yanked him into a tight embrace.  “Yes! Yes! A million times, yes!”

He laughed and lifted Marinette to her feet and slipped the ring onto her finger.  She grabbed his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss.  

The room erupted into cheers and applause.  Adrien could almost hear the fireworks going off inside him.

He pulled away from Marinette and looked out the window.  “No, those are actual fireworks,” he thought to himself.

Alya leaned over and whispered in Adrien’s ear.  “I thought you said there weren’t going to be any pyrotechnics tonight.”

“I did,” he mumbled, “I don’t know where they came from.”

Trixx poked out of Alya’s hair.  “That was me!  I remember you talking about them this morning, and I thought you might like them!  They’re not real, but they sure look like they are!”

Alya nuzzled her Kwami.  “Awww, you’re the best.”

Marinette turned towards Nino.  “You knew everything, didn’t you?”

Nino chuckled.  “Yeah, I was doing my best to keep my cool, but I messed up a few times.”

She pulled him into a crushing hug and then turned to her best friend.  “Thank you both for helping to make this night so special.”

Alya embraced Marinette.  “Anything for you, girl, but I have to be honest.  It wasn’t just us who helped out with tonight.  Everyone in this room had a hand in this.”

Adrien nodded.  “It’s true.  The other Miraculous holders helped with the decorations.  My dad and Nathalie made sure our outfits were ready, and your parents made a cake.”

Nino’s eyes lit up.  “Yes! The Dupain-Chengs made a cake.  We have to go eat some of that.”

Alya rolled her eyes, grabbed her boyfriend’s hand, and started to drag him away.  “Come on.  Let’s go mingle.”

Marinette turned to her fiancé and wrapped her arms around his neck.  “And thank you, kitty...for making me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.”

He rested his forehead against hers.  “No, thank you for always being there for me.”

“Now, we get to be there for each other forever.”

“Forever...I like the sound of that.”

She beamed.  “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.  I love you, Adrien Agreste”

He leaned in and gave her another kiss on the lips.  “I love you, too, Marinette Dupain-Cheng...today, tomorrow, and always.”

<—–Previous

AO3

Fanfiction.net

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Hello, lovely readers! Thank you for continuing to read "The Best Friend Swap".

I hope you enjoyed the last chapter! Right now, I am thinking of possibly writing a one-shot about their wedding...but we shall see. Let me know if that is something you would be interested in reading!

Also, thank you to those who have left comments and asks on all of my works.  They make my heart feel full!  (That and I love talking with all of you!)

My username on Fanfiction and AO3 is clslovegood47.

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Tagged Peeps:

@hermionemonica @yeetmetothemun​ @inkshila​

[soft-sarcasm]

48. “I can hear your smile through the phone.”

48. “I can hear your smile through the phone.”

Pairing: jung jaehyun x reader.

Request: Anonymous: sooooo before you close your request can you do a drabble for jaehyun? With prompt number 48? Pretty please with a cherry on top? :) thank you!

Genre: fluff and some stupid-face.

Word count: 1,3+k.

a/n: I hope you enjoy this spawn of a drabble that just came out of nowhere. Thanks for reading you can request with the link below (I write for all sorts of groups by the way.)

request a drabble.

 There were very few moments in your life that were entirely and completely silent. This was mostly a purposeful doing as you had always found prolonged instances of silence to be rather daunting, unnecessary pauses of suspense that held the impression that something foreboding was on the brink of occurring.

When it wasn’t the purr of the city that thrived around you it was the music that all but perpetually played when you did just about anything or the TV show you routinely fell asleep to like clockwork. Within your daily monologue, there was scarcely ever even a minute of uninterrupted noiselessness and you needed that. Your mind was far too talented in the art of concocting a collage of various unthinkably unrealistic yet nerve-wrecking worries and anxieties when it was given the space to do so. Being constantly surrounded by noises under your own control disallowed, at least to some sufferable extent, the most rampantly anxious parts of your brain as little air-time as possible of your usual programmed conscious circuit.

Having a consistent distraction also distracted you from the yearning that often blossomed like some hapless rose in your chest. These moments of insistent longing were usually nurtured into fully bloomed, unbridled longing without your consent in the most inconvenient of times. Like the time you were simply snagging a snack at the convenient store and ended up spending a good three minutes staring down a bottle of his favourite drink as your mind spiralled over the internal effects of his currently prolonged absence.

Time allocated schedules and conflicting times zones made an already time-strained relationship even more time-conscious and it was beginning to wear your nerves down to the bare threads. It had been over three weeks since you had seen Jaehyun and what was made even more antagonising was that he hadn’t even been out of the country for the entirety of that time, instead you had both been unable to coordinate schedules before he left and now that he was in fact overseas, there was nothing you could do to remedy the situation but wait.

So while there were rarely moments of noiseless silence in your life, there were plenty that remained silent of Jaehyun’s company and that was almost more agonising.

Jaehyun’s presence was as much a soother to the worse parts of you as the perpetual, purposeful noises in your life that you used to keep yourself grounded and his absence often caused for those deviously detrimental parts of your consciousness to flourish in the sun of their new freedom. It was why you were currently hanging on to every one of his slightly distorted breaths that shovelled its way down the open phone line and into your ear.

Barely 4 in the morning and yet it was as if it was the middle of the day with how alert and tentative you were to every noise that was available that allowed you to know that you were finally at least in some sort of tangible contact with Jaehyun.

“How have you been?” He questioned after the seconds ticked on since you had bolted up to answer his call.

“Good,” Was your reply, an instant-packet response that you had used far too many times to assure people of your mental state when it was actually, in fact, the opposite. “Busy, but that’s always good.”

“Not overworking yourself are you?” He joked lightly though it possessed a sort of implied gentle nudge for you to delve into more detail.

“Not really; the extra lessons are really helping, work has been relatively easy and I’ve been sleeping better.” You oversimplified, listlessly listing the most mundane and digestible qualities of your external affairs, tight-roping the edge of the endless hole of internal conflicts that would spill out if there was even the smallest of faults in your steps.

Due to your purposeful attention on every one of Jaehyun’s sound, you were able to catch the same inhale that precede his next prompt, “What does better mean?”

“At least 4 hours now,” You stated though there was no pride to be felt even though with your track record it was a victory. “Last week I was only getting about 2.”

“Fuck,” Jaehyun cursed and you winced, your knowledge of Jaehyun allowing you to make the assumption of his currently exasperated expression despite the fact that you couldn’t glimpse it for yourself. “That bad huh?”

“Better, now.” You clarified quickly, attempting to erase the guilt you could already feel dripping from your phone.

“You were sleeping almost 7 hours before I left,” Jaehyun pointed out and you wanted to bark at him that you knew that, but you couldn’t bring yourself to act so harshly when you knew he was coming from a place of nothing but compassion.

Your heart clenched at the forlorn memory of the nights before Jaehyun had had to return to the dorm, of the uninterrupted hours of healthy unconsciousness you had been permitted to revel in when you still had the warmth of his body wrapped around you. “That was when you were still here.”

“I know,” Jaehyun sighed, “And I don’t think you know how much I wish I could be there with you right now, especially now that I know that you were awake even before I called you.”

You gaped, a spluttered breath escaping you as you floundered, “How did you know? I thought my ‘just woke up’ grogginess was super convincing.”

“Only to you sweetheart,” He snorted and you wished that he was in front of you so you could both smack him and also grip onto him all at once, “You literally did the stereotypical ‘I’m pretending to just wake up yawn.’”

“Fuck you,” You childishly retaliated when any other even slightly eloquent and crafty retort failed to come to mind, “And stop grinning, it makes you look dumb.”

“I’m not grinning,” Came Jaehyun’s useless response, useless in the way that it was just made his current expression that much more evident.

“I can hear your smile through the phone.” You stated because it was true as you could all but feel the touches of his grin against the skin of your cheek rather than the metallic press of your phone.

“Can’t I smile out of the love I feel for you?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you switched your now numb leg out for your remaining conscious limb to curl underneath you, “The smile I’m hearing it definitely not one out of love.”

“Then maybe you need to get your seeing-ears checked.” He snarked and you were rewarded with the sound of a small, indignant huff.

“Well maybe you need to get your stupid face checked,” You challenged with an equal amount of offence, “And then after you go see the stupid-face doctor you can come and cuddle me because I fucking miss you- you stupid-face!”

There was a brief pause of what you could only assume was shock and then there was a cackle, “Is that your version of being romantic?”

“How dare you?” You gasped, overdramatic accusation saturating your voice, “Are you implying that I am not succeeding in my expert and eloquent display of romanticism? You insult me sir!”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Jaehyun repented with an overtly hefty amount of insincerity, “How could I ever mistake calling me a stupid-face as anything but love-spun poetry?”

“You’re forgiven,” You sniffed, the lapse of humour causing the heaviness that had once weighed on your shoulder lighten momentarily, “But I really do miss your stupid-face you know, like a fuck ton.”

“I love it when you recite sonnets,” Jaehyun further goaded and you again wanted to thwack him in retaliation, “But I also miss you and your stupid-face, like, a fuck ton.”

“Asshole.”

So while there were rarely moments of noiseless silence in your life and there were plenty that remained silent of Jaehyun’s company; the noise that the instances of his presence did create always seemed to drown out the rest.

DRABBLE MASTERLIST.

[cicatriselle-blog]

Getting real old.

I’m so tired of crying every day. It feels like grief pours from this bottomless well of sadness. “How long can my body continue to produce tears?” is a regular thought I genuinely wonder.

Yesterday, Longtime asked if I wanted to get lunch. I wasn’t able to, that I was leaving at 1 and had therapy at 2 but would be by the old place afterwards. He was going to be over there, too, to get a medication at the grocery store 5 minutes from the old house, so I suggested we get something to eat afterwards or eat fast food at the house. At noon, he said once he “got his shit” at his first stop he’d let me know what his plan was and also invited me to go to something later that night, presumably with at least one if not both of his partners, to which I declined.

I did my stuff, got lunch anyway after therapy (3:15ish) and once it was 4:30 started getting that familiar feeling that I often felt with the boy when we’d made plans/I was waiting for him/he was flaking on me. That feeling like I’m a dumb little puppy waiting by the door for someone to come home. By 6pm (6 hours from when he said he’d let me know what his plan was), I finally headed back home and texted him, “Nevermind on [other thing I’d asked about]. Have a fun time”…to which he immediately responded, “Oh. I had frozen stuff from [grocery store] that needed to get into a fridge asap.”

I immediately started bawling in the car and pulled over and typed, “You didn't let me know what your plan was "after you got your shit" so w/e”, which yes I could have handled better but I was so blinded by hurt that unfortunately that’s how it came out. I added, “Just don't tell me you're gonna do something unless you actually plan to do it and follow through.”...which I find entirely reasonable.

He responded, “Ok. Just assume I'm not going to do anything then. I'll do my best not to extend myself in any way so as to avoid disappointment on your part.” And I cried harder, I started to type something more to lash out with but then decided I was going to put my phone down and drive home. I was too upset.

So I drove home, blinking away tears constantly and scream-crying here and there, brought everything I’d packed in the car inside, and texted him this about 40 minutes later: “You asked to have lunch. I gave you my schedule. You said you'd let me know. You didn't. I wanted to see you. I felt really upset that you didn't even bother to say, hey, not gonna work after all. It's not about disappointing me, it's about if you're going to follow through on things you say you're going to do or not. I wanted to see you. It's not fair for you to turn it on me and go into fuck-it mode; you were the one who didn't follow through on what you said you'd do. You doing that is about you, not me. I'd like to have a better relationship with you. It's also not fair or helpful to turn it on me and to use your presence or (lack thereof) as a threat. It's not unreasonable for me to expect you to do what you said you were going to do, nor is it unreasonable for me to be upset about it.”

I feel good about that. That was at 6:45 last night; he hasn’t read it yet. I stood up for myself, called out the inconsistent behavior without tearing him down, and expressed my hurt. I was so initially blindsided by emotion yesterday because it felt like such a familiar thing that had played out and I’d experienced similarly so many times with the boy. But the boy was going home to his apartment with his girlfriend/the girl he’d cheated on me with despite saying he’d cut contact/lying to me for over a year/etc., and I want to give Longtime the benefit of the doubt in that he didn’t do this maliciously but I know there’s some fucked up trauma bonding shit involved in this, too; point being, even if his ADHD brain gave him a lapse here, he still hurt my feelings. It still feels like he ditched me. It still feels like he prioritized frozen groceries over our relationship. (Which, now that I think of it, he could have stopped by anyways—yes, we unplugged the fridge, but the deep freeze is still plugged in—and regardless, it’s 5 minutes from the house. He couldn’t have stopped by? He had to also get on the highway that is like, right behind the house. It feels like a bullshit excuse to me.) Is that too dramatic? He said he’d do something, didn’t, but had to get the groceries home. At any point in between picking up his medication and buying groceries he could have said anything to me. And then to have him be like, blah blah blah, disappointing you…like, fuck you, I care about trying to have a better relationship and am literally the only one putting forth effort it feels like. Cool.

I told him this repeatedly, I keep telling myself this, have told others this. I can’t have people in my life who say one thing and do another. I can’t keep people around who say they’re going to do something and don’t. That’s what kept me entangled with the boy for too long. I kept making excuses for the fact that things didn’t add up, kept buying the excuses he’d give me, and kept myself hoping next time would be different because of the biochemically-deluded haze inside my brain. I can’t do it again. I can’t continue to let other people hurt me, keeping them around in my life if they, for whatever reason, say one thing and do another. Once in a while, whatever, like, shit happens. But I’ve had this conversation on several occasions with Longtime about various things the last month, and…I’m sure he’s like, she’s overreacting, blah blah, whatever. But. ??? I don’t know. I still don’t fully trust myself.

I feel so fucking alone. I don’t know what to do with myself now that we’re legitimately just friends. Not roommates. Not together. I don’t need his attention every day. I don’t need to hang out several times a week. I feel like I’m expecting the bare minimum, and that he’s acting like it’s too much. It makes me feel like with these two guys, I’m not useful unless I can provide something to them. That they wanted to use me for whatever they can until something else can do it better. I feel like I’m causing myself needless suffering. I’m obviously not at a point where I’m strong enough or healthy enough to fully separate their behavior from my perception of my worth. I know they’re unrelated. I know intellectually I am valuable and worthwhile regardless of how someone treats me, and that their treatment of me is a reflection of themselves and their values (or lacktherof) and not a measurement of my inherent goodness or worthiness. The shortcomings are theirs; not mine. But my emotion mind is like, yep, here’s another failure. Why do these guys keep finding better situations than you. The bottom line is that you weren’t enough. If you were, it would’ve worked out. But instead, they’re doing other things with other women, other women who have something you lack.

I know it’s skewed. I know it’s not accurate. But it feels true to me right now.

[sightful-tangents]

july 22, 2017

It’s been an interesting week. 

1. I started the week in a huge funk. One of those bad brain funks, and I’ll be honest I was in one last week as well. I try and describe it as a mix of restlessness and kind of numbness, I wouldn’t necessarily call it anxiety or depression, but I just feel unhappy and desperate and kind of stuck. And homesick.

2. I try and be self-aware of my problems, and I also try and address my problems. I also kind of recognize it when I start spiralling (in which it felt as if, minus a few lapses here or there, I’d been spiralling for a couple weeks), so I try and correct it. I think I overcorrected, because when I’m in this type of funk, I kind of grasp for control. And the way I did this was to set up a goal to wakeup at 7 and start work at 8 (basically an hour earlier than my normal routine), and pack my schedule with lots of things/people (and I really try never to flake, so later-in-the-week me sometimes resent early-in-the-week me’s plans). Sometimes it’s only upon reflection that these goals I make aren’t exactly arbitrary, but maybe a bit about being in control of my body and dragging it through the week in an exhausted state because lols what is self care.

3. So like, I’m doing this morning routine where I’m exhausted, and since I’ve been so busy I haven’t done groceries and so I’ve got very little food and too much coffee, and this isn’t exactly the greatest combination. So my body kind of feels numb and tired (and I hate the numbness feeling. Hate it.) Anyways, I’m kind of curious about the fact that the way I deal with brain funks is to fuck with my body, but huh, the more you know about yourself…

4. So Monday goes by, I text dude I’d been seeing that I didn't really want to see him anymore (I know, worst) but I agree to meet up with him later that evening to talk things out because it’s definitely the right thing to do. He’s super nice and good about it, thankfully. I then Skype my best friend back home just to get a bit of semblance of home since I’m so weirdly homesick.

5. Tuesday I find out my company got this contract that I’ve been working on for over a year. It’s kind of a big deal and I was totally thrilled. I grab dinner with a university friend and we’re talking about dating (lol) and he’s like “oh I saw your online dating profile” (omg let me just kill myself now) but he was also like “I would totally date you except you’re a vegetarian” and that’s got me backtracking real quick because I do NOT want to date this guy and did not want him to get the wrong idea (sigh, my life has too many instances of guys having the wrong idea). So anyways, that’s fun, and now it makes me kind of uncomfortable since I don’t want to mislead him or anything. But, then I find out my friend had adopted a cat so I go over and visit, and the cat is absolutely adorable, guys. I’m so happy.

6. Wednesday, I get a message on the worst business social networking site (won’t name names here) but it’s from a cofounder of a company and he was reaching out to set up an intro phone call about maybe doing some consulting work, and I later chatted with him in the afternoon and it sound really promising. I’m actually really excited about it, but I know there are few more hoops to jump through before this is something that will actually happen (basically, we’ll start around 5-10 hours a week, just to trial run and see if we’re a good fit), but I really want to work with this company and I think I can do a good job. Cue all the insecurities about my actual skills though. We’re having another phone call next Wednesday to discuss rates and work and ahhh I hope it goes well. Also, I went to (or more like, invited myself to) my friend’s apartment buildling BBQ where I got a free veg burger and got to hang out with one of my fave friends. Then went and met up with a different guy I’m kind of dating (don’t you judge me) and had drinks and watched a movie and yadda. 

7. I’m still waking up at 7, guys, and I am fucking exhausted when Thursday comes along. So on Thursday the weather is fucking annoying, because I’d walked to a cafe about 30 mins away from my house (considerably far) in the morning and it was beautiful but around 11 it started pouring rain (totally did NOT see it coming), and the most annoying bit is that I’m wearing Toms canvas shoes so obviously they’d get soaked. But then my boss calls me and asks to meet (I try and postpone the meeting, as well as ask him to do a phone meeting, but he insists on meeting in person) so I trek out, about 20 mins walk, and of course, shoes are soaked. BUT, hey, good news… I got a raise and we talked a lot about my role in the company. The raise is nice (and expected, as I had hoped for, since I had joked about it during the year-long contract process that if we won it, I’d want a raise). But to be honest, I’ve been looking into other jobs recently (see point number 6) and I’m kind of ready for a change, so I’m a little apprehensive of the roles my boss sees me in. I don’t know if he senses this in me as well, but he’s really nice about things and he’s always like “we’ll get you on projects that you find interesting, and make sure you’re happy” so maybe he knows I’m slightly over it lol. In the evening, I meet up with my old roommate for dinner (she asks me exactly 2 questions about myself. I’ve realized over the years how… either not good at conversation, or maybe just self-centred she is?). I go home and do laundry, and I also buy a beautiful painting I found second hand online for $30, and I am over the moon. The painting is kind of abstract-isa, but it is so “me”, totally the type of shit I love. I also have been avoiding decorating my room for nearly 2 years since I moved in (minus the postcards) since I’d assumed I’d be moving soon, but I’d put “wall art” on my Wishlist (there’s literally only 6 things on my 2017 Wishlist). I’m so, so glad I bought it though, it makes me very happy. Also, chatted with my mom and then had a nice convo with her boyfriend, who’s a senior project manager and I wanted his advice about #6. It was kind of shocking because he told me to set my hourly rate at an outrageous number (lol, thanks for having so much faith in me), but it really got me thinking and I think I will be asking for a (slightly less) outrageous number so really, we’ll see where this goes. Still excited about this opportunity, but I know I gotta do some prep work. Oh, and yes, this is a long-ass day and I’d been up since 7 (maybe running on 5 hrs sleep and too many coffees? My body is dead at this point).

8. Welcome to Friday, and another 7am start. I saw on a video somewhere about how someone had framed consulting work as a leisurely pace with a few sprints throughout the year, and it is how you handle the sprints that really shows how well you work, and fuck it man, it feels like I’ve been sprinting all week. But anyways, starting work early, and we’ve got several new projects coming in and it’s gonna get kinda cray in the future. I’d originally planned on taking my friend out for lunch for her birthday, but she was feeling sick so we ordered mcdonalds (lol, her choice, go for it). Then I had a client meeting and I had initially planned on ending my day after (around 2ish) since I was so tired, but I then had a long meeting with my boss as we’re finalizing more things (although I did get to sit in on several interesting business-y/politic-y meetings which is always fun, since my boss is quite well connected). Anyways, I’m reviewing contracts at 4pm and tired and hungry and finally go home at 5, hang my painting, and nap. Then groceries (finally??), then just crashing so early because my body is so tired and my brain is trying to handle all the different thins happening and juggle different shit in my life. And I sleep for 8.5 hours and it is glorious.

9. So, in summary, it’s been a good week I guess? In the sense that I’d gotten good and interesting news and my friend got a cat and I got a painting and the dude I’m seeing is quote-unquote “not terrible” (my gradation of guys is essentially: no, eh, okay, not terrible, fine). But I got very little sleep, drank too much coffee, am fighting a brain funk, am still homesick (but maybe a little less), I’ve got my friend’s bday party/gathering/whatever today and plans with a friend Sunday… I knew I had completely packed my calendar this week (is it because if I think I’m busy all the time I won’t have time to deal with my brain? Or do I think hanging out with friends will make me feel way better, although I know I’m an introvert at heart? Because let’s face it, vegging out on Friday night was the best fucking decision I made) so I might take it a bit more easy next week (doubtful) and a LOT of upcoming work (as always) but yeah. I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I don’t often write long-ass entries but it’s 9am on Saturday and I’m feeling much more rested than I’ve felt in a long time. 

Time for breakfast.

[asmirandaseesit]

Vamos a la Playa

Hello again,

It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other. As an update on my life, I’m a senior now, and after returning from Turkey I’ve spent the past calendar year basically doing nothing. I’ve been to a few new cities in the U.S., most notably Chicago, which I’ve been considering posting about solely to talk about the food. I’ll keep you posted as to what I decide to do.

Anyways, this time I decided to brush the dust off this blog to talk about my recent spring break trip to Puerto Rico. I apologize in advance for the low-quality photos, in a lapse of judgement I forgot to pack my camera... :(

So- to the fun stuff. Puerto Rico. Otherwise known as one of the random islands in the Caribbean that the U.S. for some unclear reason still has ownership over (we got Puerto Rico, Guam, the Philippines, and temporarily Cuba as part of the end of the Spanish-American War). If I were to summarize Puerto Rico in a few words, it would probably be: fun, and lawless. I can’t really think of anything else that would capture it as well as those two words. Popular would work too, since there were a lot of other tourists while we were there. It was like any Caribbean island I would have expected: an endless bounty of rum, fresh fruits, and sunshine, all topped with a Latin flair and failing economy (thanks for the tip, Disney). The people were all so kind and so interesting too! Basically all of our Uber drivers engaged us in a fully-fledged conversation and usually gave us recommendations on places to go/eat. The food was exactly what I would have wanted-- dishes emphasized seafood, plantains (served in any method possible), Spanish spices, and I never found myself in a shortage of avocados. What more could a girl ask for?

Needless to say, I’d give Puerto Rico a 9/10. I’m deducting a point off because this week cost me an arm and a leg. Restaurants were priced the same as places in Manhattan or LA, (understanding that I ate seafood practically every day) which was a rude awakening considering people had told me that Puerto Rico was relatively cheap. However, I don’t regret a single dollar I spent, I had a blast and that’s what matters... right?

To walk you through my experiences, I’ll go through the pictures first. We left Syracuse Thursday night for NYC, crashed at friends’ for the night to catch our 11 am flight Friday morning to San Juan. Shoutout to Kai for letting me sleep on his futon, again (you’re the best, and you always will be).

Funny enough, the day we left the entire Northeast was getting slammed with a snow storm-- I think there were a couple of inches in NYC. Man, never had I ever been more glad to be waiting in an airport, jetting off somewhere (literally anywhere) else. Cackling to ourselves at the blizzard outside, the squad and I boarded and took off on time for San Juan. Unscathed by the winter storm, we landed in San Juan around 4 pm that day-- I love when you fly somewhere and the second you walk out of the airport, your body is shocked by the temperature difference. Ahh, the sweet sensation of perspiration.

We quickly went back to our Airbnb, changed, and went out to dinner. Now maybe it was the travel- or the sangria- but this was one of the more euphoric meals I’ve ever had. We went to Casita Miramar, and all ordered the aguacates rellenos (stuffed avocados).

Yes, it was just as good as it looks. Better, actually. *drools* The shrimp was charred perfectly, served with a creamy red pepper sauce that was sweet, garlicky, buttery and just classically good. On the side were tostones (smashed fried plantains). UggGGHHHhh. We then split a guava panetela (divine buttery almost amaretto-y cake layered with guava jam) and were served complimentary shots at the end- called “chichaitos,” they’re traditional Puerto Rican rum shots with anise liquer and a few coffee beans added (usually three for money, love, and health). After slamming those down and being painfully reminded of my relationship with rakı, we went home to catch some z’s for the rest of our trip.

The next day, we rented a car to go to a beach about an hour out of San Juan. My roommate has a friend from San Juan, so we shaped a lot of our itinerary around his suggestions (turns out, the locals know what they’re talking about). So, we ventured out to Manatí, and visited the playa la Poza de las Mujeres.

The water was crystal blue, warm, and the beach wasn’t crowded at all. I had to stop for two iguanas to cross the road though, which was weird.

We then went out to dinner at a little place called Mere Pescao (where I got mahi mahi and plantain skewers) and then went out to drinks at La Coctelera on Calle Loiza. There, I got a rosemary and beet Tom Collins, which was OK but not my favorite. We also went to a Basque bakery and I got a guava pastelito (divine).

The next day, we went to probably the worst brunch we’ve ever had (DON’T go to Caficultura) in Old San Juan. The food was subpar and the service was horrendous. I would say the one saving grace was being able to try a Cortadito, a local favorite similar to a macchiato (the real kind, not the over-dressed crap you get at Starbucks). However, if you do want the real deal-artisanal Puerto Rican coffee, DO go to Cuatro Sombras. They roast all their beans in house (which are locally harvested from Yauco) and even offer special cupping demonstrations and tastings. We then walked around Old San Juan, which is absolutely adorable and reminiscent of Macau (or any other old Portuguese/Spanish town with cobblestone streets, brightly colored buildings and ornate white reliefs).

This is one of the castles in Old San Juan- nicknamed “El Morro” it served as a fort dating back to the 16th century and is now a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

The next day, we were on the road by 7 am to go horseback riding on the beach in Isabela (2.5 hours west of San Juan). We went with a small company called Tropical Trail Rides, which was a 2 hour trail ride on 3 different beaches/through coastal brush. Coincidentally, our horses all embodied us in their own ways; Taína was the dark, ethnically ambiguous one (me), Cristal was the crotchety standoffish one (Audrey), Canela didn’t give a flying f*** about the trail ride or her job (Bella), and Whiskey was fully erect the entire time (Lily). Classic.

The four horsemen of the apocalypse

It was a really nice ride, and honestly I could’ve done it all day. We even got to walk over old U.S. missile launchpads in the forest dating back to the Cuban Missile Crisis! Love me some history.

After getting back from horses, we got smoothies and lunch/dinner at La Casita Blanca, a small local place in Santurce. I got the pastelón, which is essentially a take on lasagna but instead of pasta its sweet plantains. I didn’t snag a picture because frankly it wasn’t pretty enough, but trust me- it was DELICIOUS. Like a Puerto Rican moussaka- all the things good in this world, really.

The next day, we left our house at 5:30 am to catch the 9 am ferry to the island of Culebra. (Yes, you did the math right, Fajardo ferry terminal is an hour away from San Juan, and the ferry was scheduled for 9) - It’s an island about equidistant from Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands, approximately an hour east of PR. I was nervous about this ferry since I had read online it could be rough seas, and with my seasickness, I knew it could get ugly. Luckily, I could recline my head back so I felt fine- but man, the seas were unkind to us that morning. At least 10 people in my immediate proximity were stumbling over to the trash can/bathroom. People were dropping like flies! Bags were being passed left and right, people were toppling over pale and drenched with sweat... it was atrocious. Like a cafeteria food fight, but not fun. After an hour or so of that torture, we landed on the island and decided to rent a golf cart to navigate to/from the beaches around the coastline.

Drinking a piña colada on the 2nd most beautiful beach in the world. My white privilege is checking in right about now.

Flamenco Beach was gorgeous. The sand was fine and white, the water was bright turquoise, and the coastline was curved perfectly like a horseshoe. It was well worth waking up at 5 am to see.

After our time at the beach, we decided to go snorkeling for a bit at Melones Point and try to find some turtles. No turtles unfortunately, but we saw some cool fish and got a lot of hilarious snorkel photos in the water.

After a full day without food, I decided to get some sustenance at Zaco’s Tacos while waiting for our 5 pm ferry back to the main island- would recommend if you’re on Culebra, it’s reasonably priced and the tortillas are definitely made in house (as a Southern Californian, you can tell).

The next day, we had our zip lining adventure in El Yunque National Rainforest. Fun fact, PR is home to the only tropical rainforest in the U.S. National Parks system. So, when in Rome.

The rainforest was beautiful. The park was a combination of 8 zip lines, mostly short, but the longest was about 2000 feet long over unobstructed tree tops with a view to the ocean. Simply incredible.

Jacked mushrooms go zip lining

After our boost of adrenaline, we ventured into the rainforest to check out a suggested trail to a swimming hole in the river. The “hike” was about 10-15 minutes, really a casual stroll, but the swimming hole was beautiful, and well worth the confusing drive/30 potholes I ruined our rental car with.

Like basically any other body of water in/near Puerto Rico, the river was clear and there were these cute fish swimming around us the whole time. They kept bumping into me though, which I didn’t know to find endearing or creepy.

After another long day, we got food at this restaurant on the beach called El Alambique, where we got buzzed off more piña coladas (an ongoing trend over spring break) and I ate a seafood salad the size of my torso. The Syracuse game was also on at the bar the whole time, funny enough.

The next few days were slightly uneventful, as we had to return our rental car (the crappy Hyundai Accent we became so attached to, listening to Puerto Rican radio and counting iguana roadkill on the highways... final number of 26 FYI) and we had already hit everything on our itinerary. We ended up spending a day the the Renaissance Hotel on the beach in Condado, which was great because we got all the perks of staying there without actually dishing out the $400 a night!

Sipping on prosecco like I’m actually worth something

For lunch, we walked to a nearby food truck called Kabanas for the best fish tacos I’ve had in my life.

You really can’t go wrong with fresh red snapper though, can you?

Afterwards, we went home to get ready for dinner and happy hour. We went to a rooftop restaurant called El Punto de Vista in Old San Juan, where they have 2 for 1 mojitos EVERY DAY until 5 pm. Need I say more?

This place is known for their mofongo, which is another Puerto Rican specialty. Take plantains, fry them, mash them, then top them with meat/seafood and a sauce. This is mofongo with shrimp and garlic sauce. Come on, forget about it.

The next day, I went on a run around Condado to get some exercise. After realizing I hadn’t been that warm in about 5-6 months, it made sense why about 2 miles in I was dripping sweat. I ran around the lagoon and back and managed to snap this photo:

Ah, what it would be like to run this every morning

The next day or so we pretty much screwed around San Juan and ate a lot more. Our last night, we went out to La Placita de Santurce and it would have been like 150% more fun if any of us were in the mood to binge drink. If you’ve been to Hong Kong, I would compare this to a Puerto Rican LKF: a concentrated network of bars and clubs and drunk pedestrians crowding the streets looking for the next place to go. Good vibes, readily available alcohol, and a crowd with people young and old... it was the place to be on a Friday night.

Unfortunately, the next day I woke up with a sore throat, and what viral infection I thought I fended off right before break finally caught up with me. I took it easy my last day there, and we finished off with dinner at one of the most renowned restaurants in San Juan- Jose Enrique. To preface, it’s got 680 reviews on yelp and 4.5 stars, and at opening at 6:30 pm there was a line to get in about 30 people long. Was it worth all that hype? Maybe- the food was incredible, I got the snapper which was fried and served with a sweet potato puree and a papaya avocado pico de gallo. It was, in all worlds, a very good meal. If you can swing the wait, I recommend going here.

I’m not going to talk about the 15.5 hour horror story that was our trip back to Syracuse, but to give you an idea, it lasted from 12 am to 3:30 pm the next day. So, I’ll leave you with my favorite song right now, that we heard about 3 times a day in PR. It’s a bop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJQP7kiw5Fk

Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next time!

Hasta luego~

Miranda

[nrip]

Social Media as a Healthcare Provider: 4 Guidelines for Successful Outcomes –

Increasingly, social marketing methods are essentialfor your business and clinical growth. Social media provides an unparalleled ability to connect with colleagues and the community of people interested in seeing, collaborating, or consulting with you. As student providers, we’re in a transitionary period where despite not knowing exactly what our future plans are, our promotion efforts can make huge differences in our successes later. Right now, what we understand is the basics of patient care, and the easiest way to get started in social media networking is to treat your following as a patient, and follow the “standard of care” for the social media treatment.

YOUR COMMUNITY IS YOUR PATIENT 

(or, be as invested in your community as they are in you.) 

Social media, despite easily being one of the most powerful tools in networking, has one flaw. The ease in which we post, filtered, in a “one-to-many” conversational style has made it easy for each of us to project an image as we want others to see. The filters on our snaps, edits on our photos, tweaked captions, and archives of “unsuccessful” content have created a situation where the focus can easily shift from human-to-human interactions but to developing a superficial image. Those who are unable to recognize this shift occurring are those who will struggle in the social media game. Your value exists only in your community engagement, the way in which your social circle interacts, and your posts, pictures, videos, and content is just a mechanism for that engagement to occur. Networking is most essentially a social transaction, for both you and your following to benefit – both must give and receive simultaneously. If you take only one thing from this article, the key to successful community building is in providing value to the audience you have cultivated in your content and your interactions with them.

KNOW YOUR (TREATMENT) PLAN

(or, know what your goal is)

There are countless reasons you want to start your networking game now… amongst the most common in the dental community include: 

Visibility and New Patient Exposures

Building Credibility and Reputation

Building Patient Relationships

Professional Networking / Job Hunting

Product Promotion

You need to know what your end goal is, even though you may not fully know your full career plan may be at this point. Each of these goals dictate your strategies for your community engagement and posting strategies. For those looking towards a more “relationship” focused goal, your content should be well-developed, and immersive. This kind of content is more conversational, more thorough, and provides multiple venues for your community to interact. Strong relationships with your social media community are reflected in the quality of your communications, and with social media, many of these interactions are taking place publicly. For those looking more towards a “sales” or “action” focused goal, conversely should aim to have a more frequent posting schedule, with focus applied more on building a funnel for your community to interact with.  This content provides a more singular, and direct point at which you want your community to interact with your content. 

BE A SPECIALIST

(or, know your niche)

The social media game is flooded with generalists – thousands of accounts leftovers from before our professional life, with photos of pumpkin spice lattes next to textbooks, outfits of the day, and memes, a road that has and will have many others taking it. While there is nothing inherently wrong with this, it’s like the 210 freeway at rush hour, a safe option for a slow path to your destination, but you are literally surrounded by those doing the exact same thing. For those who are more interested in a fast-paced, explosive rate of community growth, you need to be more like trailblazers. Do something that hasn’t been done before, or do something better. For people who haven’t seen my accounts, I started recording time lapses of my clinical procedures and setting it to music and titles with Adobe After Effects. After adding this content to my account, I was hit with several reposts from the California Dental Association and other larger accounts, which helped ignite my own community growth. Finding your own niche should leverage whatever your strengths are, and showcase them as a means to connect with your community.

USE EVIDENCE BASED SOCIAL MEDIA

(or, don’t fall into the traps your peers did)

Social media, like medicine in general, is flooded with countless articles, tools, and services, that exist solely to further a goal that doesn’t help yours or your patients. The single most advertised and questioned topic is the use of automation in social media.These tools do things like automatically liking posts, commenting on photos, or even replying with generic responses to messages. Remember, for you to build a connected and engaged audience, you need to be connected and engaged– these tools automate the connecting and engaging, and thusly cheapens your interactions with your following.It’s a simple equation, that I think many people forget this when the overall goal is increasing likes, comments and follows. Social media is unique in that for how close it can bring people together, the indirect nature of communicating via a website or app will inherently keep a barrier between people. Your job in managing your community is to minimize the barrier this limitation poses, and to do so, you need to interact as directly as possible with followers to allow them to better connect with you. The cheapening of your interactions reduces the value of your community, and at best, adds to the noise, and at worst, polarizes those who are actually engaged.

THE BOTTOM LINE 

Ultimately, your community has value solely because of your engagement with it. Both you and your patient have an end goal, and it’s your job to know what this is, and use the methods and tools you are empowered with to provide the best care you can to your community. As time moves forward, your evidence-based foundations will give you the best foundations to blaze your own path forward in uncharted territories. 

This post was previously published as an article in the Western University of Health Sciences ASDA Newsletter: On the Cusp. (Volume 3, Issue 1). It has been modified to reflect my current views, and to correct for changes to Instagram in 2019. (https://issuu.com/annetran8/docs/westernu_asda_spring_2018_newslette)

[tortuga-aak]

‘You can sleep when you’re dead’ is actually deadly advice, according to experts

Ulet Ifansasti / Getty

Losing sleep puts your body at a disadvantage when fighting off diseases, including cancer.

More than 6,000 deadly car crashes a year are caused by drowsy driving, according to AAA. 

Just a week of short sleep nights (around five or six hours) can make you pre-diabetic.

  Rocker Warren Zevon is often credited with coining the mantra that’s been embraced by everyone from partying college kids to early-morning exercise evangelists: “You can sleep when you’re dead.”

Or as Bon Jovi put it, “Gonna live while I'm alive, I'll sleep when I'm dead.”

It’s an intoxicating thought, but the truth is that not getting enough sleep is literally killing us.

That’s what neuroscientist Matthew Walker, who directs the sleep and neuroimaging lab at UC Berkeley, says in his new book, ‘Why We Sleep,’ which was published in October.

Walker has dolled out sleep advice to the NBA, NFL and Pixar, among others. His first book is a deep dive into the latest research on the importance of sleep, as well as a how-to guide for getting better sleep. 

He succinctly summed up his overall stance on snoozing for Business Insider: “The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life,” Walker said.

It’s estimated that two thirds of adults around the world aren’t getting enough sleep. The World Health Organization and Walker both recommend about eight hours a night as a good baseline.

Walker argues that routinely getting only six or seven hours of shut-eye per night can do serious long-term damage to your health, and in some cases even kill you. He insists on a strict eight hours of "sleep opportunity" for himself. That means he's in bed for at least eight hours a night, even if he spends a portion of that time falling asleep and waking up. He says that schedule helps keep him productive, as well as emotionally and physically fit.

Here are three of the key ways Walker says a lack of sleep can hurt your body and brain.

Lack of sleep puts the immune system at a disadvantage

When you haven't slept enough, it’s harder for the body to fight off illnesses ranging from the common cold to cancer. Sleep deprivation depletes stores of your “natural killer cells,” a type of lymphocyte (white blood cell) that nix tumor and virus cells. A single 4- or 5-hour night of sleep could lower your body’s "natural killer" cell count by around 70%, Walker says.

Missing sleep can also put your body on a crash course for chronic disease. Insufficient sleep has been linked to increased instances of Alzheimer's, obesity, stroke, and diabetes. Lack of sleep changes how insulin operates in your body and how quickly your cells absorb sugar. After a week of short sleep nights (say, five or six hours), your doctor could diagnose you with pre-diabetes, Walker says. That means your blood sugar levels are elevated enough that you're on track to become a diabetic. Long-term damage to your heart, blood vessels, and kidneys could already be in motion in such circumstances.  

It's true that some people, a "sleepless elite" as Walker calls them, are built to survive on less sleep and will sleep just six hours, even in laboratory sleep conditions. Such lucky individuals make up just a fraction of one percent of the population, Walker says, and share a gene (BHLHE41) that's incredibly rare. (If you think you have it, you probably don't.)

Just an hour of lost sleep can kill

Walker likes to say that "there is a global experiment performed on 1.6 billion people, twice a year." You probably call it Daylight Saving Time.

After we lose an hour of sleep every spring when the clocks get pushed forward, car accident rates jump. Walker's seen this play out in the lab too — after study participants spent two weeks sleeping for seven hours instead of nine, their reaction times slowed by half a second. That's a long lapse if you're cruising at 60 mph. The AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety has studied car crashes in the US, and found that tired drivers kill about 6,400 people a year. 

Heart attacks also spike 25% around Daylight Saving Time, since sleep deprivation puts more stress on the heart. Researchers have found that men in Japan who sleep less than six hours a night are 400-500% likelier to have a heart attack than their better-rested counterparts. 

Sleep debt is carcinogenic

Insufficient sleep makes the body a better breeding ground for cancer. Sleepiness is now being blamed for cases of colon cancer, breast cancer, and prostate cancer.��An off-kilter sleep schedule may also give rise to cancer, since it causes melatonin to be suppressed. The World Health Organization calls night work a "probable carcinogen." 

Because of all these factors, scientists warn that hanging on to the idea that you'll sleep when your dead is truly deadly advice. 

If you're not sleeping enough, "you will be both dead sooner, and the quality of your (now shorter) life will be significantly worse,"  Walker told Business Insider.

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