#or did his canopy jammed or was he already dead before hitting the water?
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Why is the line "I lost myself when I lost you" hitting so hard tonight I didn't even exist back then
#bruh moment fr like what was the purpose why dis i have to go and fall in love with that dude and not someone who is alive and breathing#at this very moment what the hell lol#no man has seemed the same since. not one. no matter how attractive I'm just not interested in anyone else😭#no man could ever even compare tbh he was 👌👌. as my friend would say 'hes a 12/10' and I am inclined to agree#no one is 12/10 in my eyes ever except Mr dreamboat fighter pilot over here smh#thats all in my mind now it's just thoughts of him like what were you LIKE how did you SOUND what odd mannerisms did you have h#i just. i want to explore the humanness of it all ! what was he like how many friends? who was HIS crush did he have letters to send thatday#did he have unopened letters that he never got to read? what about photographs? is the reason there are only 5 of him that he took the ones#that were more important to him with him that day? what were his last moments like? was it silent acceptance or panic did he manage to ditch#or did his canopy jammed or was he already dead before hitting the water?#what about the picture of the spaniel? or the ones of friends ? What was he like in school? did he get in trouble often or was he#the quiet one ? what about his first love ? what was he thinking while getting that medal? did he treasure it or was he indifferent?#how many friends did he lose and how did he feel? what did his friends who survived the war day about him? did they go on to tell others#about that one pal who went out on a mission and never came back?#i just. all these questions.... they keep nagging me and I'll never have an answer to them#i know nothing about him. practically nothing except his full name decorations and the day he died. and a couple stunts he pulled. nothing#nothing about his personal life except that he was a Londoner. a little mention by another pilot saying he was not interested in War talk#and that they used to call him dopey because of his sleepy eyes and like yeah that's a fitting nickname lol but he was so CUTE superficially#speaking; like his bone structure was impeccable 👌 absolute dream. also what colour were his eyes it's impossible to tell from the pictures#because they're always like half closed and the pictures are really old and B&w but hes still the most perfect man I've ever laid my eyes on#i mean there's the fact that he was in his early twenties in those photos most probably 23 as well because the time frame in which he got th#dfc and dso and the day of his passing are pretty close and we know for a fact that he was 23 when he died which is just sad because 23!?!??#that's basically a baby like are you serious he'd supposed to be goofing off with his friends at college not fighting a damn war#what hits me hard is the fact that I'll grow old but he'll still stay 23. never got the chance to live fully never got the chance to fall in#love or get married to his sweetheart. never got to enjoy a few more pints with his friends never got to read those letters and never got to#tell his family or those dear to him that he was fine. I just. man I'm thinking about this way too much and I'm going to sob#bye#text#irrelevant
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