#or c. hes running on some kind of blood substitute

[scrampled-graviton]

it's 3:30am & I have a question

neural reciever: if his brain is outputting signals then somethings gotta translate them into a coding language for his tvs & bodies

dialysis machine: if his organs r still running on blood then something has to filter out waste & Leith Pierre took his fucking kidneys

[wheredidmyheadgoing]

"Does it hurt, little one?"

So,

Basically, I was supposed to insert this as a super duper extra comic for Mother's Day. I planned everything nicely, so that I could make it for May 26.

...Then I found out that Poland is literally the only country where Mother's Day is celebrated on that day.

Shoot. You live and learn, they said.

Let's just pretend that I posted this on 14 May 2023, okay?

Nooow that we've got that out of the way, let me explain what's actually going on here. (As if you can't just show everything so everyone understands, you stupid potato-)

1. Why Gregory looks like a zombie

Here we have something I wanted to describe before, but didn't have the opportunity. It's about the workings of the "bloodstream" of the robot children (Gregory and Ella to be more precise). As you can probably guess, there is no need for their heart to pump anything, so everything here is apparent. Which doesn't mean, however, that they don't need their "blood". Oh no.

You see, they do have a device inside them that imitates a heartbeat, but the fluid inside them circulates completely on its own through their bodies. It doesn't just act as a substitute for human plasma - it makes them better able to feel emotions. They are able to feel pain. Thanks to this fluid, their feelings drive their mind. Fact, it is darker and more viscous than ordinary blood, but combined with stage blood and a bit of illusion, it does not arouse suspicion.

Viscous Dark liquid...sound familiar?

Ah yes - good old agony.

This, by the way, solves the possible problem of running out of artificial blood if the robotic kid gets too much damage, because if anything, his pain and the negative emotions associated with it will automatically fill his body with another amount of fluid. Besides, the agony spreads to other objects, including other robots. This gives a lot of new possibilities and...well, that's why Gregory has so many bandages on him. Afton likes to experiment on him sometimes...

Are you keeping up? Great, then how about this?

The reason Gregory is so bloody here is the punishment he received. Our little gremlin can usually handle the commands given to him, but stress, pressure and general overwork mean that sometimes he'll slip up and make a mistake.

Unfortunately, his father doesn't tolerate mistakes.

What is all this punishment about? Well, as Gregory nevertheless consists in part of a computer, Glitchtrap has access to his head. He can talk to him, influence his memories of his past live, and, most importantly, control his mental state. So, if he does something wrong, unpleasant consequences await him, in the form of a huge headache and vomiting blood/agony, which gets too much in him and just pours out through all the orifices of his body. A rather uncool feeling.

2. The relationship between Vanny and the little gremlin

It's a pretty difficult. For Gregory, I mean. Technically, he shouldn't feel anything for her; another tool, possibly an accomplice, alive today, she could be dead tomorrow. Yet he cares, heck, he sees her as some kind of parental figure, as his father is a psychopathic murderer turned AI, and about his mother, for some unsuspecting reason, he can't remember anything specific, except that she had light hair and was called Christine (Hehe, because, you know, Christine!...heh....begins with a C, like Clara, okay?). He would never admit it to himself, but he feels damn sorry for her, because of everything that happened. Especially since he was complicit in pushing her away from her loved ones, worsening her mental state, and ultimately helped bring about her possession. Yep, a manipulative little manipulator. Oh well.

So Gregory feels guilty, while at the same time insisting that he shouldn't, because, after all, he's not doing anything wrong - he just wants to put his family back together. Therefore, he rather tries to avoid her, and is often just plain mean - the fact that she is such a nice person to him simply overwhelms him.

I'll bet my caramel and hazelnut chocolate that I made some stupid translation mistake.

[luxpurplishgreen]

Collection Post Update – Danny is mistaken for Tim at work AU

This story thread just keeps growing. Great work people!🌟

It's time for an update to the collection post...

I've gotten better at these posts and have decided to not individually tag one-line additions most of the time, since there can be a lot of those. If you want to keep an eye on a post thread like this, remember that you can subscribe to the post instead of asking for tags.

-.-.-.-.-

First there was some nice feedback tags from: @stealingyourbones @wolfjackle @luxaofhesperides @ostrich-recs @ashoutinthedarkness @flopy-hana @magicalgirlcrazycatlady @keimiwolf @summerfox1988 and @09shell-sea09

#I truly appreciate you tagging everyone for their work their did thank you #hell yeah collection post #and the thick plotens

#dpxdc #danny fenton #tim drake #identity shenanigans #it got better! #all collected into one place #this is perfect #love it

#dc x dp #long post #fic #ooooh now i wanna write for this prompt. such a fun idea!!

#dpxdc #luxpurplishgreen doing gods work #tim & danny #danny fenton #tim drake #tam fox

#AAAPDMFNROSLSNF!!!!! #its all together!!!! #danny phantom #dpxdc #dc #timothy drake #danny fenton #danny looks like tim #danny is alternate universe/reality tim #adopted!danny #mistaken identity #body double #danny pretends to be tim #danny works at wayne enterprise #compilation

#dude. i give to you the title of archivist. thanks

Reblogging to share this chaos with the world!

#long post #like really long #but i love it so much

#danny phantom #dc comics #dpxdc #it got put together!#someone did their research and I’m glad it wasn’t me

So thank you for those tags!💜

-.-.-.-.-

Then some real new content got started by: @ameliandil

This is very interesting to me! I’m not sure how Danny would have nothing better to do, but a bit of universe jumping could possibly help with that! Or if he’s taking online classes mostly in Gotham. Or dealing with a ghost problem there.

-.-.-.-.-

@brierburrbrito added:

This is all made so much funnier if we assume Danny is in Gotham due to a summoning and just doesn’t know how to get back because he doesn’t know which universe he’s in.

-.-.-.-.-

@unordinarywarlord tagged:

#so many good additions #i love them all #though i think Danny as Red Robin substitute is hilarious #it probably only works because Tim is sick #because Danny and Tim fight differently since Danny is a cunning brute force it kind of way and Tim is more of a strategic fighter #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp

-.-.-.-.-

@jenny-green-teeth tagged:

#long post #dpxdc #danny fenton #tim drake #considering both their dads are named jack im surprised no one pulled an au jack thing #so they're technically half brothers who happen to be the same age #one got obsessed with ghosts and one got obsessed with old shit #fan fic

-.-.-.-.-

@purpletigerss added:

I've seen observations that Tim's unhealthy childhood habits probably stunted his growth. They look identical until you put them next to eachother and Danny's bigger.

-.-.-.-.-

@fanspecies added:

I love this. Do Sam, Jazz m, and Tucker get involved as well? Also why can I see Tim also being Danny.

Like let’s say the GIW have a hunch he’s phantom and that’s why he’s on the run. So Tim decides to help and gets “captured” and they do a blood test, and since he’s a alternate version of Tim the DNA is like 99.9% the same and like oh theres no ectoplasm in his blood.. oops sorry.

The Danny as Phantom comes in and saves Tim and since they’re in the same place at the same time they drop the case and continue to look for clues on who Phantom is. Thankfully Tim helps take the GIW along with their friends. And now Sam, Tucker, and the rest of the Fentons are able to visit Danny when they want to. And when the Fentons meet Tim they include him in the family like they did with Danny and Dani. Which makes the Batfam jealous that Tim is getting along with them.

-.-.-.-.-

@mygood-bitch99 tagged:

#long post #lmao #tumblr ficlet #can this be counted as a group project? #collective writing :)) #dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc prompt #dc comics #danny phantom #danny fenton #tim drake #writing prompts #i adore this so much!!! #?￰ﾟﾒﾕ? #i shall save this and cherish it forever! #please tag me if there’s another addition to this!!!

-.-.-.-.-

@one-damned-fool tagged:

#RIP other branch #lost to the tumblr jungle

And Same. Poor other branches.😢

But that made me wonder. Is it really alright for me to copy-paste content like this? It's not like I could message every single contributor and ask for permission, and I try to credit everyone, but I'm not sure if anyone will get annoyed that their linked post additions aren't shown?

I wish there was a way to re-arrange whole post chains when rebloging. :/

I made an edit to my post before the first Collection Post on just this theme:

“Edit: Dammit, this post has branched. Knew I read a longer version before. Check the reblog list for so much more content.

Is there any way to link together sprawling branched posts like this?”

And @ashoutinthedarkness answered me (but they don't seem to have a solution either...):

Dude I wish there was. If you could somewhat arrange the order of the reblogs too (maybe have a symbol or something to show that they're not in the order they were originally?) You could combine the branches and make compilations easier (without having to screenshot and tag)

===

Ok, but the idea of Danny being an alt. Tim is kinda great and tragic bc it means that either way he's kinda doomed to neglectful parents (whether his parents are by birth or adoption) and to being exposed to the realiving juice (ectoplasm vs lazarus water - are they the same? Different?) (tim was exposed to the pit right? Haven't read the comics so I have no idea).

#danny phantom#dp#dp au#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dc#batman#danny fenton#tim drake#danny is tim from an alternate dimension/universe#danny is adopted by the fentons#there are now two tims#and both have previous experience with clones

-.-.-.-.-

@meira-3919 added:

I think Barbara knows... I mean, she's Oracle!

Oracle finds out, but Danny and Tim bribes her to keep silent, plus it's good blackmail, she won't pass that up!

#Barbara Gordon is in the loop!

-.-.-.-.-

Then @cyrwrites @autisticamerican and @justagirlinacape added some encouraging tags:

#dp x dc #holy shit this thing is on fire #alternate universes

#dp x dc #danny fenton looks like tim drake #long post #like REALLY LONG #but worth the read tho #i promise

#danny phantom #dc comics #dp x dc #dp x dc prompt #absolutely incredible #wonderful work everyone

-.-.-.-.-

@thatgaydemigodnerd added:

Tim, before the batfam find out about Danny, organizes a charity event. He promises some of the local Gotham heroes will be present and he has word from red robin personally that he will show up.

Bruce knows of course, he helped Danny sue everyone for harassment, he's in on the joke.

Dick, Damian, Babs, Jason, Duke, Steph? They know of absolutely nothing.

During patrol that night night wing is chastising red robin about potentially giving up their identities! How dare you say such a thing you can't be in two places at once!

Red robin just smiles and asks if night wing can make it to the event or not.

Cue the event and red robin is there, as promised, standing next to Tim, shaking hands with his personal assistance right behind them.

(Tim is in the suit and Danny is going as Tim, but people don't know that)

Red Robin gives a very convincing speech about fighting crime by going down to the root and facing societal inequalities, Danny (fully according to script) says that Wayne industries is planning on building better infrastructure in the poorer areas of Gotham, including funding better healthcare facilities and offering job opportunities to those in need.

Dick still cannot figure out how Tim pulled this off but he's given up at this point. If you can hide a missing organ who says you can't have grown a clone in 2 weeks without telling anyone

-.-.-.-.-

@the-infamous-only added:

I need to know If Alfred is in on the joke. That would make it so much better, everything wise.

He is literally in charge of everyone's health he'd have to know. He would figure it out on sight.

Does he cover Danny's ass on injuries that should take him off patrol? Does Danny get invited to Family breakfast or dinner?

Just two Tims sitting side by side at the table. Nothing odd going on here. Does Alfred also call him Master Tim, just to stir shit?

While the rest of the kids try to figure out what the hell is happening. Speaking to Tim in one part of the mansion and finding him again in minutes doing something entirely different, like just returning home.

#and the thick plotens #Tim is still a teenager and will do some batshit pranks on his family #dpxdc au #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny is such a mood #danny phantom au #danny fenton

-.-.-.-.-

@iconicanemone and @mug-of-shark tagged:

#I absolutely love this and all the different paths this took

#i #i don’t know much about batman or danny phantom but like #i would genuinely love a fic of this

-.-.-.-.-

@catwithmanyhats added:

If it goes the 'Tim from another dimension' route if they ask Danny if he was adopted he should just drop 'Yeah, my parents found me near a dimensional portal.'

#dp x dc #the fentons did not care #they confirmed it was not a ghost portal #so it is not interesting #free kid!

-.-.-.-.-

@moonkat78 added:

Skipping back/ forwards several steps, Danny originally applied for an engineering job, but also as a passion project down the line mounts the aerospace division of WayneCorp + nerds out about the Watchtower and routinely does external repairs in ghost form, giddy he gets to experience the cold vaccum of space. Space is the one area where he hisses possessively if Tim tries to have an opinion about the large company-scale decisions.

But, and I can not stress this enough, Danny comes at it from a :sparkle: science :sparkle: point of view and collaborates on research with various international space agencies. Plus, ya know. The JL, GL corps, and whoever else. This isn’t a Musk/ Bezos situation.

Danny builds Jason the Outlaws another ship/ upgrades and he and Arsenal aren’t to be left alone together. The generated goodwill rubs off on Tim.

-.-.-.-.-

@leafbracer98 added and tagged:

Everyone else: what is Red Robin doing out? Tim you have a cold!

Duke, who can see “Red Robin” glowing bright green: hey what the fu-

#Tim texts him not to ruin this for him.

#Tim just thinks Duke can somehow see through the disguise

#Duke thinks Tim made a deal with the devil or something. #depending on if Tim knows about Phantom

#Danny just catches Duke by himself and asks him not to tell.

#If Tim does know #Danny decides to pull poor Duke through a rooftop to beg him not to blow this #and Tim promises Duke he will do his post patrol paperwork AND homework for a week

#Duke is morally conflicted but also hates his history teacher and doesn’t want to do her boring essay. #so he agreees #they never tell anyone #even after Danny is introduced to the family #even after Phantom is revealed to be Danny

#Leaf Speaks #dc x dp #danny phantom #DC

-.-.-.-.-

And that was all of it for now! 🖤

Now go forth my fellow lovers of shenanigans and do the writing thing again.

-.-.-.-.-

Short DPXDC Prompts #232

Danny starts as a low level intern in Wayne Industries and is very concerned when people keep referring to him as Tim and keep asking him to sign papers and attend meetings that aren’t remotely in his job description.

[uswntxfootball]

we’re just rivals (on the field) (leah williamson x chelsea!reader)

the “epilogue” / part 2 to we should be rivals

of course, the game she decided to come to was this one.

word count: 2418 ish

rated F for fluffy, I for idiocy (or injury), and C for charles.

——

it’s been about two weeks since you showed up to that arsenal game.

and about two weeks since you’ve talked to the english defender.

it wasn’t like you weren’t trying to talk, you just never had the time to.

training had been hectic for the both of you, and it always seemed like one was busy while the other one wasn’t.

“why do you look so blue?”

“jee maybe it’s because i’m wearing a chelsea shirt?”

jessie rolled her eyes before huffing:

“come on y/n you know what i meant.”

“do i?”

“you’re impossible.”

“no i’m y/n.”

“oh my god.”

you let out a loud cackle at jessie’s frustrated cry.

you ran your hands through your hair quickly, letting out a sigh of relief when jessie stopped questioning you.

truth is, you missed leah more than you’d like to admit.

you missed her flirty glances and slightly cocky demeanor, and it began to eat up at you a little bit.

by focusing on the task at hand, which was the upcoming manchester city game, you attempted to distract yourself from it.

it helped a little.

jessie could tell something was up, but after your previous exchange she stopped pushing it (for now) upon seeing your refusal to give in, and partly for the sake of her sanity.

you let out a sigh of relief when the whistle blew, signaling the end of training.

you grabbed your water bottle and jumped when you felt someone slap you on your shoulder.

“okay now spill.”

you turn to see jessie giving you a concerned look, the midfielder’s cheeks red and hair messy from the exertion of practice.

“you look like a sunburnt lion,” you snort, before taking a drink of water.

jessie scoffs.

“lions don’t get sunburnt. i thought you’d know tha-hey!”

jessie lets out a yell of protest when you spray your water in her face.

you shoot her a cheeky grin before making a run for it.

“get back here! y/n!”

~~

on the other side of the spectrum, leah felt the same.

she was however, less of a mess than you, and held it together much better than you did.

~~

you let out a little sigh as you stare at the tv.

there she was in all her glory, fuming and talking to lisa after a game, a sight which you rather enjoyed.

after all, it was kind of hot.

you rewinded that section for a little bit, and nearly shit your pants when you heard the apartment door open.

“hey i brought lunch what are you-“

jessie stopped dead in her tracks and stared at the tv.

she let out a snort when she saw you.

you were crammed behind the couch in a failed attempt to hide yourself.

“watching leah are we?”

you let out a grumble from behind the couch:

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

jessie rolled her eyes and you heard a rustle before letting out a yelp of surprise when her bag hits you on your head.

“you bitch you hit me.”

“yeah yeah whatever.”

you wriggle your way out from your “hiding place” and plop down on the couch, still rubbing your head.

“i think you made me lose a bunch of brain cells.”

jessie snorts.

“to lose them you’d need some in the first place.”

you growl and shoot her a glare before crossing your arms and huffing:

“i’m ignoring you now.”

the canadian rolls her eyes and shrugs.

“finally some peace and quiet around here.”

“you’re mean.”

“i thought you were ignoring me.”

“shut up.”

~~

the next game was a tough one.

manchester city was a tough opponent and you’re now realizing why.

it was chelsea’s first game against them since they signed the uswnt players, and good lord have they improved.

you watched from across the pitch as jessie was struggling to get the ball from white, your chest heaving slightly while doing so.

you were already exhausted and it wasn’t even half time yet.

your head snaps up when you see a movement to your right, and you took a quick glance to the stands to see the top of a red jersey peaking out behind a black coat.

that’s all you could see before your name was being called and you turned to receive a pass.

and then you got caught up in the game once again, too busy to realize what it meant.

chelsea went into halftime down 1-0.

your halftime talk was brief, mostly just emma giving quick pointers here and there.

when the talk ended and break finished, you were so determined and focused that you nearly walked into the door frame on your way out of the training room.

the second half was going just like the first.

the possession was deadlocked, opportunities were deadlocked, and if it continued like this manchester city would win.

so you decide to fuck it.

you’re getting this corner kick in no matter what.

as reiten prepared to take it, you positioned yourself right next to the keeper and the post.

just for a moment, you let your eyes drift to the stands, your eyes catching a blonde’s as you do so.

it took you a second to realize who that was.

almost instantly, butterflies tore through your stomach, and you barely miss the whistle signaling the corner kick.

just barely.

now you have to score.

leah’s here.

you have to.

reiten sends the ball into the box, and almost like magic it’s heading for exactly where you’re standing.

you could see roebuck beginning to grab for it, and you didn’t care, you were going for that ball.

just as your head makes contact with it, you hear a resounding crack and yours eyes start watering in pain as you hit the ground.

your hands were covering your face and you could taste blood in your mouth, but you couldn’t tell where it was coming from.

jessie’s hand and concerned voice brings you out of your thoughts.

“hey are you okay? what’s wrong?”

you groaned a little in pain and whispered:

“did we score?”

jessie let out a halfhearted eye roll before saying:

“that’s what you’re worried about? well you scored, but please don’t kill yourself trying to do that next time.”

you let out a soft chuckle before taking jessie’s hand and getting to your feet.

one of your hands were still covering your face, and when you put them down jessie lets out a surprised yelp.

“oh jesus! okay uhm we need a medic here!”

pretty soon you were surrounded by the medical staff, and taking one look at you they ask for a substitute.

there’s a ringing in your ears so you can barely hear snippets of the medical conversation, but you hear enough to know what’s going on.

broken nose. punched in the face by the goalkeeper. need to set it.

it’s when you’re being led off the pitch that you remember about leah.

your eyes widen and you turn to the stands, and you couldn’t tell if it was your angle or not, but you couldn’t see her anywhere.

you shook your head slightly and continued your walk off the pitch.

emma joined you in the room along with a few guys on the medical team, and said:

“listen, we can set your nose now, or we can wait until after the game. we’ll give you a few moments to decide.”

you give a nod and with that everyone left the room.

it was quiet for about a minute before you heard footsteps again.

“hey i haven’t…”

the rest of your sentence gets caught in your throat when you look up.

in the doorway stood the girl who’d been on your mind for the past few weeks, and you blushed a little at the sight.

“um uh i-how are you?” you managed to stutter out.

leah lets out a light chuckle before saying:

“shouldn’t i be asking you that?”

the defender walks up to you and gently places her hands on your cheeks, quietly examining your face.

“well it’s definitely broken,” she mutters softly, and in a sudden jolt of confidence you bring your hand up to cup hers in yours.

leah smiles a little at that and takes your hands down to rest in your lap.

“how did you get down here?”

leah blushes and smiles sheepishly:

“i may have had to sneak around a guard or two..”

“you wanted to see me that badly huh?”

leah gives a slight eye roll at your teasing tone.

“be careful, i could leave at any moment.”

you let out a loud laugh before wincing slightly, the action shooting a fresh wave of pain over your face.

“be careful, don’t want that pretty face to scar,” leah says teasingly.

“why would you like me less with a scar?”

“well i didn’t say that.”

you try to wink, only getting halfway before wincing in pain again.

it’s now that emma walks back in with the medical staff, who looks up in surprise when she sees leah.

“we can’t have visitors here-“

“have her stay.”

“y/n we really can’t-“

“nope she’s staying.”

your coach lets out a defeated sigh.

“fine.”

and you hear her mutter something that sounds like:

“i don’t get paid enough for this.”

leah shot you a look before letting go of your hand, much to your dismay, and moved to a spot next to you, out of their way.

“so y/n, did you decide t-“

“set it now.”

emma gives the medical staff a thumbs up and  the go ahead and glances quickly at you and leah with an expression of oh look, more gays, before heading out back onto the pitch.

a gruff voice focuses your attention back to the foreground.

“alright y/n, my name is charles, and i’ll be setting your nose today.”

you give an attempt at a snort, and wince before saying:

“sounds like you’re my waiter or something.”

charles gives a hearty chuckle, and as he examines your face says:

“this one’s got a sense of humor huh.”

you let out a wink in leah’s direction before saying:

“oh you know it.”

charles turns with his back to you, looking through his equipment bag and says:

“okay this might hurt a bit, so i recommend grabbing something, not me preferably.”

“do people do that?”

charles turns to you with a bit of tape and gauze in his hands and places them on the table beside you.

“like you wouldn’t believe.”

you let out a laugh.

“alright let’s get this over with.”

“okay then, since they still have a game going on, please try not to yell.”

you felt his hands on your face and you braced yourself for it.

“alright ready? on the count of 3.”

“1.”

“2.”

your hand shot out in leah’s direction and the defender took it without hesitation.

“3.”

charles moved his body with his hands and the pain was almost instantaneous.

still, you gritted your teeth as your eyes start to water, not noticing how tightly you clamped onto leah’s hand.

it’s only after when charles is wrapping your nose that leah whispers:

“i know we play football but i kind of still need my hand.”

“sorry,” you mutter, relaxing your grip, and at the same time refusing to let go of her.

“all righty! took it like a champ, you didn’t even yell.”

you shrug before saying nonchalantly, “yeah i’m not much of a screamer.”

you grinned cheekily when you notice leah’s eyes widening and cheeks reddening.

as charles was packing up his stuff, he asks:

“so is this your girlfriend?”

it was silent for a few seconds, and charles turns to look at the two of you.

“i’m sensing like a we’re friends but we flirted a bit and now we don’t know where we stand kind of a vibe.”

you and leah speak at the same time.

“yeah.”

“exactly.”

charles picked up his bag and said:

“i figured. anyways you guys look cute together, and i’m gonna go back to the game now.”

and with that said, he gave you a little wave and walked out of the room.

“well he was fun, i liked him,” you said to leah, who smiled and nodded a bit in agreement.

the two of you chatted about meaningless things for a little while, before you shot up suddenly and pulled her with you.

“come on, let’s get out of here.”

leah scrunched her eyebrows up in confusion.

“where are we going?”

you grin at her.

“well i promised i’d take you on a date if you came to my game didn’t i?”

leah’s cheeks flush a little and she says:

“w-“

jessie’s voice cuts leah’s response short.

“y/n! how are you doin-oh.”

the canadian’s eyes flickered between your face and leah’s face, before moving towards your joined hands.

a teasing smile made its way onto her face and before you could stop it, jessie stepped forward and began talking to leah.

“hey, i’m jessie, also y/n’s best friend, you must be the one who-“

you let go of leah’s hand and cut in with a pitiful attempt to stop her from talking.

“NOPE I’M GOING TO LEAVE IM-“

leah crossed her arms and watched the two of you with an amused smirk plastered on her face.

“got y/n, a diehard chelsea fan i tell you, to-“

“NOPE NOPE NOPE JESSIE LETS NOT-“

“buy an arsenal jersey. yours to be exact.”

you groaned and your face flushed red with embarrassment, closing your eyes and turning to face the wall.

you spun around and took leah’s hand, dragging her out of the room while flipping off jessie.

you hear jessie yell from behind you:

“love you too y/n!”

it’s when the two of you made your way out of the stadium when she says:

“so an arsenal jersey huh?”

your cheeks flush redder and you mumble:

“shut up.”

“i’ll bet it looks great on you,” leah added with a wink.

“it’ll look even better on your bedroom floor,” you retort.

leah’s eyes widened a little as her face became blood red.

“what?”

you grin cockily.

“nothing!”

leah just looked at you in utter disbelief.

[genos-walking-autoclave]

Pls I would love to see your head cannons on zombieman I love him so much 😭😭

Hey @buggiin Welcome! Thanks for the ask : D

Zombieman!

an excellent choice, I'm a fan.

Headcanon A:  realistic

As good as Zombieman is as both a hero and an individual Zombieman Sucks at reducing or preventing collateral damage.

So My headcanon is that if Zombieman wants to break his limiter or inmprove significantly as a hero he's going to need to start trying to prevent collateral damage.*1

I think Zombieman has the qualities of a good leader but to be a great leader I think he will have to take greater care and responsibility for the well-being of the heroes he leads.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Zombieman does all kind of painting art in his spare time. He particularly enjoys spatter paint art.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Some people think that Zombieman is a modified Dr. Genus clone, well what about this? What if Zombieman was Dr. Genus's Nephew?

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Listen to some of these quotes out of context:

"You're all peas in a pod, try to be friendly with each other."

"Making an effort to understand others is the most important part. We're all human after all."

and

"I want this to be over already... Blood is one thing, but I hate all this sweating."

What if Zombieman was a privileged kid before *gestures vaguely*, Not just that, but what if he was a "tree-hugging-vegan" type hippie before *gestures intently*? What if he was a pacifist who never even ate meat before becoming one of the bloodiest heroes in S-class? It could explain when he did all that inner work to be so compassionate and empathetic, but not how he learns to be so good with a weapon.

Maybe, he wasn't a vegan but still more on the more pacifist end of the hippie spectrum. X'D

These are the other Four Headcanon Asks I've taken:

Drive Knight

Genos

King

Mumen Rider

Sekingar

Webcomic Spoilers Below

Webcomic Commentary Section:

1* The strategy that Zombieman is using to try to break his limiter right now in the webcomic by sneaking off to talk to Dr. Genus is very logical but it's very much in his comfort zone.

Going off by himself to put himself in harms way and take untold pain on himself. Meanwhile the HA, Child Emperor, and others could benefit from his help.

His intentions are good but I don't think that his strategy challenges him or his assumptions about the world enough to deliver a satisfying narrative conclusion to his arc. I would have liked to see him stay with the HA and work to reduce the damage being done by the Neo Heroes and the Monster Attacks.

I don't think the experiment he's running with Dr. Genus will produce the results he hopes for.

[jaskierswolf]

For Your Love

Prompt: A/B/O Dynamics Relationships:  Jaskier/Valdo Rating: E Content Warnings: A/B/O, Omega Jaskier, Alpha Valdo, smut, heat/mating cycles, anal sex Summary: Having been contained all his life by overbearing parents, Jaskier is determined to take Oxenfurt by storm, starting with one Valdo Marx.

Beta’d by @wolf-and-bard​, written for @dani-dandelino​ who wanted horny Valskier with a side of fluff.

Part of my @witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo​ card. One left!

This is also inspired by the song ‘For Your Love’ by Måneskin.

Oxenfurt, a city unlike any other. It was buzzing with life, music, and people. The university itself had a small campus in the middle of the city, contained behind beautiful golden gates that were lavishly decorated and extravagant. The designs themselves were Elven, a tribute to the ancient history of the city. It had been a long time since the Continent had seen any pureblood elves, the last had died out a couple of centuries ago. 

Jaskier’s ancestors were amongst them. The young, budding musician was a quarter-elf, if the rumours were to be believed, but of course the House of Lettenhove would never admit to such scandal. They were nobles of the twattiest kind, and Jaskier hated it. They’d only let him study at Oxenfurt because he’d promised that he would stay on blockers and present as a beta for his time at the university. It wasn’t unusual, a lot of omegas preferred to hide their true nature until they were mated. 

But Jaskier was bored of hiding. 

It was the twenty-first century and he was eighteen. He’d suffer through enough heats on his own. Fingers and toys were poor substitutes for an alpha’s knot, well, he assumed as much. He’d never experienced the latter but his body needed more. It knew that the toys he stuffed up his arse weren’t the real thing, and he was left sobbing into his sheets, desperate, weak and wanting. 

So the first thing Jaskier did when he arrived at Oxenfurt was sell his blockers. He thought about dumping them down the drain, but he’d been cut off from his parent’s bank account whilst he was at uni. He had to survive on the budget they’d given him, and it was measly. His parents clearly didn’t want him to have any fun whilst he was at university. 

The joke was on them. 

Jaskier was going to find the hottest alpha on campus and make them his. It didn’t take him long to put his plan into action. After a couple of days of being off the blockers, his natural omega scent had come back and he could already feel the prickle of pre-heat under his skin. Jaskier had identified his target. Now he just needed to woo the man. 

But Valdo Marx wasn’t going to be an easy goal. He was a tall, slender man with long dark hair and molten chocolate eyes. He was cocky beyond compare, an easy arrogance that came with being an alpha, but he lacked the brutishness that Jaskier would usually associate with alphas. In fact, to look at the man, one might think he was an omega, or a beta at a push. He strutted around with his shirt open, tattoos on displays, black nail polish on both hands, and dark make-up around his eyes. He was fucking beautiful, but most importantly he was an alpha. 

And Jaskier knew he had to have him. 

The bastard smelled absolutely divine, and he had a wicked tongue that cut down anyone that stood in his way. Jaskier was completely smitten. With his heat incoming, he knew he was running out of time, but Valdo would be out on the town that night and it would be the perfect opportunity to seduce him. So, Jaskier pulled out his sluttiest outfit, a sheer black shirt that really hid absolutely nothing, unbuttoned down to his navel for extra hoe energy. He matched it with his cutest booty shorts that his parents had absolutely forbidden. There was a pretty gold chain around his neck, drawing attention to his unmarked scent gland, and his finest golden, jewelled rings on his fingers. The final touch was blood red lipstick. 

He knew he looked obscene. 

If Valdo didn’t want him then he had no doubt some other feral alpha would be lured to his nest, but he wanted Valdo. He hadn’t spent all morning making his nest perfect for some second rate alpha. Jaskier deserved the best, and only the best. 

The alpha was surrounded by his posse of second years. All were music or English students, just like Valdo, just like Jaskier too. The music thrummed through Jaskier’s body as he made his way across the room, drunk on Valdo’s scent alone. It was a risky move coming out in pre-heat like this, even Jaskier wasn’t idiotic enough to not realise the potential danger he’d put himself in, naive perhaps, but not totally clueless. He didn’t miss the way a few of the other alphas’ eyes followed him, a dark hunger in their eyes. 

No, Jaskier would not be going home alone tonight. 

It was just a question of who with. 

Jaskier bared his neck as he approached Valdo, presenting his scent gland and letting out a low purr. Having been sheltered most of his life by his overbearing parents, he was mostly just following his instincts and what he’d seen in the films he’d sneaked off to see with Essi. He wasn’t sure if this was the best way to flirt but he was determined. 

Valdo finally looked at him, catching Jaskier under his heated gaze. It was almost enough to bring Jaskier to his knees. He could already feel the slick in his panties, they would almost certainly be ruined. Jaskier bit his lip and brushed past the betas surrounding the alpha, they parted easily as he waved them aside. His scent was strong enough to affect betas when he was nearing heat. It didn’t turn them into the mindless animals that alphas could be, but it definitely made them pliable. 

That was the thing most alphas and betas, i.e. Jaskier’s darling family, didn’t understand. Omegas weren’t weak-willed and fragile. They didn’t need to be protected by a big strong alpha. They weren’t helpless. Omegas simply had different talents, and seduction was one of them. It was a weapon in the hands of an omega, even one as innocent and inexperienced as Jaskier. With just a few words he knew he could have this entire bar in a state of chaos. The alphas would be fighting over him and the betas would be forced to flee for their own safety. 

Luckily for them all, Jaskier had already made his choice. 

“Julian,” Valdo growled, his eyes lingering on Jaskier’s neck, “you shouldn’t be out smelling like that. It’s indecent.”

Jaskier just pouted at the older man. “Oh but darling, you were out tonight.”

Valdo’s nostrils flared, his knuckles white as he gripped the arms of his chair. “Your point, omega?” he sneered, but Jaskier could see the burning heat in his eyes. 

Jaskier smirked, leaning forward to brush his lips against Valdo’s cheek, one hand resting on the alpha’s shoulder. “I want to be the first man you look at tonight,” he whispered, his fingers running down Valdo’s chest, tracing the lines of his tattoos. “I want to be stuck in your head and make you go wild.”

The alpha growled and gripped Jaskier by his collar, pulling Jaskier onto his lap with an undignified yelp. “You’re trouble, Julian. Why should I go to your bed? You’re not the only slutty omega in this city.”

Jaskier pouted, wincing under Valdo’s sharp words. He bristled slightly, taking advantage of position to grind his arse against the alpha’s lap. “For your love, alpha, I'll do whatever you want,” he purred, running his nose under Valdo’s jaw and pressing his lips against the alpha’s scent gland. God, it smelled so fucking good. Better than Jaskier had ever imagined, and Valdo visibly shivered under his touch. “So baby why don't you please me now, I've got so much I can give to you.”

“Pretty little omega whore,” Valdo snarled, pushing Jaskier from his lap, long fingers wrapped around Jaskier’s wrist in a firm grip. “I’ll take you, if you’re a good boy, but I don’t like to share, understood?”

Jaskier nodded eagerly. “Yes, alpha.”

The walk back to the dorms was possibly the longest walk of Jaskier’s life. He almost ran in front of two different cars in his eagerness, and it was only Valdo’s grip on his wrists that saved his life with a quiet “patience, omega” growled into his ear. 

But Jaskier was beyond patience now. The close proximity to his desired alpha was messing with his heat, and he was tumbling from pre-heat into a full blown mess of lust at breakneck speed. He whined, pulling Valdo’s wrists against his scent gland, pressing kisses to the alpha’s palm. His shorts were drenched in his own slick and he felt so fucking empty. He needed… he needed… 

“Alpha please,” he whimpered as he was pressed against a wall. The stone felt cold against the burning fire under his skin, but it wasn’t enough. His heats had never felt like this before. It was intense, overwhelming, too much. 

“Tell me what you want,” Valdo snarled, his teeth grazing against Jaskier’s scent gland, making him whine as he bucked his hips. “I’ll give you what you want, omega.”

“Your knot, Valdo… alpha,” Jaskier panted. He’d never felt this desperate before, not even when he’d been days into his heat without an alpha to look after him. “I- I…” Jaskier broke off with a moan as Valdo bit his neck, just shy of his scent gland, a tease of what a mating bite would feel like. 

“You beg so well, pretty little thing,” Valdo hummed, there was the click of a door and they stumbled inside. 

But it was wrong. 

This wasn’t his room. 

Jaskier keened, tears welling up in his eyes. “No-no… my nest, alpha.”

The alpha growled and pinched his nose. “Where’s your room, Julian?”

“C block, Bardling Flats,” Jaskier stammered, barely able to focus but this wasn’t right. It didn’t smell right, he’d made a perfect nest for his heat. He needed his nest. This wasn’t right. 

Valdo scruffed the back of his neck and he melted into the alpha’s embrace. “Shhh, omega, I’ve got you. It’s not far.”

And despite his slender frame, Valdo scooped Jaskier up into his arms, whispering reassuring words in Jaskier's ear, running his fingers through his hair. It was all very tender, not at all what Jaskier had been expecting from the alpha, but it calmed the sobs that wracked through his body. 

“I knew you were trouble, Julian,” Valdo chuckled. 

Jaskier whimpered and whined all the way back to his dorm, pressing his body up against his alpha’s, kissing the exposed skin under Valdo’s shirt, tracing the lines of his tattoos with his lips, his tongue. Valdo’s scent was driving him mad, lust and want surrounding Jaskier in a haze. 

“Alpha,” he stammered as Valdo finally let him down. Jaskier was barely able to get his key into the lock. His hands were shaking too much, but the alpha took the key from his hands with a soft growl, unlocking the door with ease. 

They were home. 

And his nest was still perfect. Jaskier lunged for the bed, shedding his clothes as he went before diving under the sheets. With a helpless whine, he shoved two fingers into his hole, desperate to end the empty ache deep inside of him. Slick covered his hands and thighs, and he instinctively got onto his hands and knees to present to his alpha. He would be the perfect omega. 

“Oh, Julian, look at you,” Valdo snarled, “so eager, so pretty. My little whore!”

“Yes, alpha, yours,” Jaskier gasped. “Fuck me, knot me, mark me, please!”

The words made something inside of Valdo snap. Any scrap of control that he had left was lost, a growl tearing from his throat, feral and possessive. Jaskier whimpered, his hand wrapping around his cock in a pitiful attempt to dampen the fire, precum was already leaking onto his blankets. He wanted more. He needed more. Valdo’s hands were on Jaskier’s hips and Jaskier cried out as the musician’s long fingers pressed inside his hole with little resistance, expertly finding that sweet spot, and making sparks fly in front of Jaskier’s vision. He whined and pushed back onto his alpha’s hand, it wasn’t enough. 

“Alpha,” he sobbed helplessly, stroking his cock as he writhed on Valdo’s fingers. If he had been alone then he would have already had his toys deep up his arse, and he really wasn’t enjoying the teasing. 

“Oh darling,” Valdo growled, one hand stroking down Jaskier’s spine, “my pretty little omega, I want to fuck you till you scream and cry.”

Jaskier keened at his alpha’s words, rutting into his own hand, a mess of slick and cum as he half collapsed onto the bed. “F- fuck, alpha, I - I…”

He didn’t have the coherency or the time to finish his sentence, his words dying on his lips as Valdo’s fingers were replaced by something else, soft and wet lapping at his hole. Jaskier sobbed and buried his face in the blankets and pillows, still rutting helplessly into the nest, but his alpha held him down. He licked around Jaskier’s rim, cleaning up the mess and coaxing Jaskier into another blinding orgasm, but the fire still hadn’t abated. Jaskier writhed and moaned, begging for more. He’d never had a heat quite like this, and all he knew were his alpha’s hands on his, the aching fire at his core, and the desperate need to be filled, knotted, bred. 

When Valdo finally slid inside him it was like a dream. His cock was larger than the toys Jaskier played with, and, even without his knot, Jaskier could feel the stretch. Every thrust of his alpha’s hips pushed that wonderful cock deeper into him, pounding his prostate and making Jaskier sing. It was a stream of babbling nonsense, a mess of “alpha”, “fuck”, “please”. Jaskier came twice more on Valdo’s cock before he finally felt the press of his alpha’s knot against his rim. Exhausted and desperate, Jaskier sobbed, his fingers clinging to the sheets beneath him, now covered in cum and slick and sweat. His nest reeked of sex, of them; Valdo and Jaskier… together. 

“K- knot me… please,” he whimpered, his voice hoarse and wrecked. 

Valdo’s hands threaded into Jaskier’s hair, pulling his head back as his knot forced its way inside Jaskier, locking them together. “I'll give you what you want, my omega,” Valdo snarled, “my omega.”

“Yours,” Jaskier whimpered, too fucked out and exhausted to argue. They weren’t bonded, and Valdo had made no attempt to bite him, but in that moment Jaskier belonged to the alpha. “Mine,” he slurred, trying to adjust their positions so he could curl up to his alpha until the knot went down. It had only been the first day of his heat, and there would be more to come, but the first wave was finally sated. He purred as he rubbed his scent gland against Valdo’s chest. 

The alpha laughed and pressed a kiss to his hair. “Yours,” he agreed, “Now sleep, little omega. I want to hold you in my arms tonight.”

Jaskier giggled, pressing a kiss to one of Valdo’s tattoos before nipping gently at the glistening skin. “Only until the next time, Marx. Think you can handle it?”

There was a low growl that rumbled in the alpha’s chest, and Valdo’s fingers pinched at Jaskier’s neck. “Trouble, Julian. Go to sleep, omega, you’ll need the rest,” Valdo purred, a trace of his alpha voice leaking into the words.

Jaskier sighed happily, a low purr in his own chest, as he let the exhaustion overcome him, and he fell into a blissful sleep.

[wakaoujisenhime]

Hello! I really fall in love with your blog! Thank you very much for those Vorpal Swords headcanons! Can I ask headcanons about being Rakuzan manager? For example, how she cares about boys and they care about her; how Rakuzan protects her; How she supports them at games. And Akashi likes her. Good luck to your blog!

A/N: Hello there! I’m glad to know that you’re enjoying these, so I hope that this one will be to your liking as well! Also to those who don’t know what a ‘bokken’ is: it’s basically a wooden sword, Japanese swordswomen and men use for training! 

Tags: Akashi x reader ✅  Rakuzan x reader ✅  SFW ✅  fluff ✅  friendship ✅  

image/art source: Zerochan (art by Tousaku) [I sadly couldn't find the corresponding post where they uploaded it, since that artist seems to be inactive atm, but if you happen to stumble upon it, please make sure to tell me!]

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

so first of all how did you even become Rakuzan’s manager?

well you were actually taking care of the team BEFORE Akashi joined the club

back then you guys were a wholesome team, but the moment the redhead was pronounced captain it all went downhill...

your former teammates began dropping out with the same complaints

“He’s too strict”, “I can’t train like this anymore”, “When he’s on the court, basketball loses its fun factor!”

even if you hated to admit it...they were right

Akashi was a REALLY strict leader who always wanted his team members to give it their all

100%? Not enough, make it a 110 and then you might be chosen as a substitute

during the first half of the school year, you put up with everything he threw at you, whether it were insults or commands

at one point you weren’t even the manager anymore but became his loyal puppy that did everything he instructed you to do

the things he requested weren’t even worthy to your title...unless you like standing in front of the gym door, acting like a bodyguard at the disco

and of course, even you had your limits

after Akashi had once again decided to give you an unreasonable task, you finally snapped

“I’ve had enough! Just who do you think you are, ordering me around as if I was your subordinate!”

“Listen. You either fix that emperor like attitude of yours, or you end up losing one of Japan’s strongest team...including me.”

in your state of anger, you had shoved the clipboard you were using against his chest and had stormed off the gym

a whole week had passed and you didn’t visit the club even once, that’s how pissed off you were

one day just when you thought about filling up a club withdrawal paper, there was a letter in your locker

...

Dear (Y/N)...I know that the way I’ve been acting up until now has upset you, but the reasoning behind my behavior is a simple one. All I desire is to see whom of these ‘star players’ everybody (including you) praises, can actually live up to their title. Sadly, I’ve come to the conclusion that none of them were able to, so I’ve decided to build up a new team in which you as well are going to be needed. I sincerely hope that you are willing to help the new Rakuzan basketball club reach even greater heights than ever before. Yours faithfully, Akashi Seijuro

P.S: We need you manager.

...

the first half of the letter had made your blood boil, but the further you read the more your curiosity got peaked

but you didn’t want to give in that easily, so you decided to visit the club one day to see what Akashi’s idea of an absolute basketball team looked like

...

...

“So (Y/N)..what do you think?“, Akashi asked after practice had ended

you had just looked at him with one of your ‘are you kidding me?’ faces and shook your head

these boys...

a) looked like full-fledged men to you

b) could easily snap you in half if they wanted to (especially Nebuya)

and finally

c) were probably all legendary NBA players in their past life

all in all they were amazing

watching them play gave you the impression of an actual and professional basketball game...that’s just how good they were

.

..

...

two months passed and you had taken the role of the manager once again

you hated to admit it, but Akashi was once again right..this team was absolutely amazing and worthy of any title you could think of

luckily these boys turned out to be more wholesome than you had ever anticipated

knowing that all of them had their struggles and own problems to deal with, despite their flawless appearance made you realize that that they were indeed your typical high school boys and not some basketball machines

sadly they couldn’t - or better said - weren’t allowed to show any weakness during training...these were Akashi’s orders

much to your surprise, they had accepted it with much less resistance than the members before them, but you were a little anxious that they might end up quitting the team so you took it upon yourself to prevent that scenario from arriving  

from that day forward you began spending more and more time with all the members (except Akashi) …

.

Reo:

as the vice-captain he was to ensure that everybody followed the training regimen they were given by the redhead (in case of his absence)

sadly due to his laid-back nature and feminine speech, almost no one took him seriously

that’s where you come in…

“Come on now guys! Listen to Reo or I’ll get the bokken! And if that doesn’t get you guys moving then I’m sure a short phone call with Akashi certainly will...”

the second line always worked and even managed to make Reo giggle

after that, he’d always thank you several times and while the others ran laps/were stretching the two of you would always talk about that day’s schedule

by the end of practice, Reo and you would actually go out and do some shopping while talking about different topics

and thanks to his talented eye for the beautiful, your wardrobe was full with clothes that complimented your figure just perfectly, which only boosted your ego      

a certain topic you guys started talking about only recently was romance

at first you were extremely careful to not touch upon any touchy subject since there were a lot of rumors amongst your classmates, concerning Reo’s sexual orientation

but the more you got to know him, the easier it was for you to talk to him and in no time the two of you had become best friends

whenever someone either came up to you or him and wanted to just mess around, the two of you got each other’s backs at all time and would either intervene directly or call for backup (mainly Nebuya)

thanks to Reo’s ‘big sister’ personality you luckily never felt alone or at a loss, since you knew that he’d always be there for you and help you out

Kotarou:

this boy seriously makes you run for your money

he’d always arrive almost half an hour earlier than the others just cause he wants to mess around with you (he’d for example take your clipboard and make you literally chase him for it)

at first it upset you quite a bit, but as time passed you eventually got used to it and evolved your strategy

you chase him?

hell NO

you’d instead sit down on one of the benches and wait for him to bring it back to you

your strategy for that was to remain silent and show no reaction whatsoever whenever he asked if you weren’t going to chase him like the ‘good old times’

he’d then get so worried that he’s upset you that he gives up, brings you your clipboard and starts either poking your cheeks, playing with your hair or straight out embrace you

the latter always broke your façade

his warm hugs accompanied by the glistening puppy eyes and his snaggletooth always made you pity him and wonder if you’ve perhaps gone too far

the moment you’d give in, his cheerful attitude was back in an instant

and that routine became pretty much a daily ritual between the two of you

what perhaps surprised you the most was when you actually witnessed Kotarou’s other side of his bubbly personality

he was surprisingly the ‘holding a grudge’ type (especially on the court)

Rakuzan had a practice match once and when a player of the opposing team made it past the blond boy seconds later he was fuming, glaring at everyone who even looked his way and screamed more as well as louder than usual

the others around you weren’t even faced by his sudden tantrum so it was up to you to calm him down before the referee gave him a yellow card

since then his mood-swings became your responsibility

outside of the gym, you guys spent a good amount of time together

you mostly helped him out with his homework since he really wasn’t the brightest out of the bunch (and as some of you might know in Japan your grades play a major role when you’re a part of a club. Depending on your test results you might get excluded from some of the activities as far as I know) and you weren’t going to leave on any activity without this ball of sunshine

to pay you back for your help he’d go skateboarding with you on the weekend

in case you forgot or couldn’t skate he’d help you remember or teach it to you

much to your surprise, he was quite a good teacher, so it was easy for you to understand the basics and even learn some of the simplest tricks on the way

but in case you were some kind of a pro (or simply good) at it, he’d challenge you to a small contest and by the end of it the two of you would actually come up with a small choreography

Nebuya:

to be frank, he intimidated the heck out of you (at first) and he was actually the most difficult for you to approach

the main reason for your reluctance was mainly because of his appearance, but just a day after you were first introduced to him made you change your mind

on your way to school you took the train and as commonly known the trains in Japan were the majority of the time extremely filled with people and some of them just couldn’t keep their hands by themselves and just had to go ahead and start feeling people up

in that case, the victim was unfortunately you  

the typical reaction of your other female classmates would’ve been to stand there and do nothing about it, but you were different

“Excuse me, but could you stop touching me?“, you asked in a loud voice making sure that at least some people witnessed what was happening

you couldn’t care less if you guys became the center of attention, all you wanted was to get this creep’s hands away from your body...and you did

what you didn’t know/notice was that Nebuya had actually seen all of it and wanted to come and help, but you were quicker

when you got out of the train he caught up to you and directly asked if you were ok

he even went ahead and bowed his head to you apologizing multiple times for not reacting quick enough

it surprised and scared you at the same time, but this was kind of a chance to finally talk to him, so you made sure to not let that opportunity slip away

and trust me when I say this, but this man turned out to be a bigger softie than you anticipated

since that day he became the person you’d call upon first in case of trouble you couldn’t solve on your own

Nebuya even volunteered to be your bodyguard, but you weren’t really a damsel in distress so you refused at first

and after many arguments, pouts and pleas you finally gave in and agreed to go to school together every day

additionally during training he’d make sure to be the first one to save you from any flying ball

much to his dismay, you managed to dodge or even to catch the majority of them which made his attempts completely futile

so in order for him to stop sulking about how he had ‘failed to show you his muscles in action’, you’d go out and help him with his workout

sometimes you’d even be his motivational right hand during his own eating contests

and when he decided to show his ‘manly’ side and either burps or lets out gas, your bokken was on him just some seconds later

Mayuzumi:

this boy seriously hated you in the beginning

in his eyes you were nothing but a loud girl who wanted some attention and tried to gain it by acting as the manager

much to his surprise you figured him out pretty quickly

you somehow knew when he became irritated on the court and immediately took action to prevent any outbursts from him or someone else

furthermore, you supported his hobby without asking questions and when he expressed the wish to go to the rooftop and read a chapter or maybe even two from his light novel, you’d just let him go

one afternoon he came to the gym to excuse himself from training and found only you and how you had fallen asleep on the referee table

his first thought was to leave before you even noticed that he’d been there, but then he saw a small notebook with the title ‘RAKUZAN BB CLUB’ so he got curious and started reading your handwritten entries about all of the members

each member had a few pages worth of information you had either gathered yourself or looked up

he found it a tad adorable that you reserved the last page for a personal comment on a player since it reminded him of how some of his authors wrote an afterword at the end of their story

as soon as he read his name though he suddenly became really reluctant to proceed

for some reason, he was afraid of what you might have written/researched about him

he started to read it anyways

“...”

“Has a low presence...well yeah I guess”

“...”

“Seems to be prouder than he lets on? W-Wha? That’s not even...true”  

“...”

“Probably swears at his teammates internally...how did she know?!”

“...”

“It would make me happy if we talked more to each other, but he probably hates me... ”  

Mayuzumi would’ve never told you, but that last line hurt him quite a bit

.

that day he decided to join practice and when you called for a timeout you’d always leave his towel and water bottle on the bench next to you and he’d normally just take it, but this time he murmured a barely audible ‘thank you’

you almost fainted then and there, but somehow managed to keep up your serious facial expression (which he very much appreciated)

the two of you would almost never go out/spend time together, but instead, you began exchanging small gestures like you buying him a new volume of his favorite author or him hiding a small ‘thank you’ note in your notebook

Akashi (finally):

since you and he know each other from way back, you didn’t have that much contact in the beginning since you wanted to take your time to get to know the new members, but Akashi’s eyes were always on you

if someone out of the other members even dared to ask him if he harbored feelings for you...then let us just pray that he doesn’t have Midorima’s scissors with him

but if one of his main players (most likely Kotarou) asked him about it, he’d just cut him off quickly and shut the conversation down

Rakuzan’s captain cares for you in his own kind of way

he’d support you from afar and make sure that no one who he doesn’t deem as worthy comes even remotely close to you

you weren’t aware, but since you had once again become the manager of the reformed Rakuzan you became quite popular

a lot of people admired you, some were even impressed or jealous and some even began having feelings for you

“I’m thinking about asking (Y/N) out...what do you think?”

as soon as Akashi heard your name in such a conversation he instantly made his move

don’t ask how he did it, but within a week you had gained the reputation of being ‘out of limits’ for everyone except for the club and your friends and just in case someone felt the need to be adventurous, there was no way they’d be let into the gym (thanks to Akashi’s orders and Nebuya’s muscular body)

.

the redhead had first noticed his feelings for you when you snapped at him back then

for him it was the first time someone even dared to speak up against him and even insult him

he was surprised and very annoyed at first, but as the days passed by him and his incomplete team he figured that it would be the best to start anew

so he scouted three of the uncrowned kings and a 3rd-year student who basically was a future version of Kuroko

when the stage was set all he needed was for the main star to appear, so he sent you that letter where he invited you to watch the new team

.

as far as the confession goes...

Akashi is a very strategic person, so he’d most likely wait for his promise to come true (the promise of Rakuzan reaching greater heights) and then confess saying something like:

“See? I’ve kept my promise...now it’s your turn.”      

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Holy Obedience | Feeding Habits Update #4

Hey People of Earth! Today we’ll be chatting chapter five of Feeding Habits, aka Holy Obedience. TW: animal cruelty, blood, suicide, toxic relationships.

This chapter is the last in Lonan’s POV and a direct continuation of chapter four. I was getting a little burned out as this was toward the end of my 10k word week a few weeks ago, but overall, it definitely achieves what I was hoping for!

Scene A:

Eliza and Lonan chat about secrets which gets intense when Eliza prompts Lonan to burn Harrison’s guardian angel necklace & a few polaroids that were taken as a small easter egg from one of the mini stories!

Lonan grabs everything out in time with minimal damage

Scene B:

Lonan finally burns down his father’s darkroom.

Scene C:

Lonan emerges from the woods and approaches the cabin. Eliza sits on the veranda tending to a dead rabbit she claims she “found”. What happened in the previous memory in ch. 4 of Lonan and his father utilizing the ikijime technique to kill the fish mirrors with the rabbit, despite it actually being dead.

Lonan and Eliza take a drive and talk about the very different lessons they each learned from Lonan’s father

Eliza hits the accelerator and drives the car into the lake. Her fate is left unspecified, whereas he gets out relatively unscathed.

Excerpts:

Here’s this very tender romantical description because I indulge myself obvi:

The last time he saw Harrison, he knew they would not see each other for a very long time after. Sun haloed him. Pinged of his eyes so they shone like gemstones. The earring he’d gifted him from his mother’s collection twirled, mindless, like the surface of a mirror ball. He didn’t forget that image—his lover a painting of the sun, an offering he was lucky to have, if only temporary. As he gurgles at the face of the fire, he doesn’t forget that feeling—the warmth not against his face, but in the pith of his throat, jittering like the wings of a hummingbird. As he shifts forward, closer to the fire, a hand secures around his shirt collar. At first, he’s convinced what he’s seeing will be the last he ever sees—the magnificence of heat. But it’s when he feels its heaviness with a clank against the stone as the clasp comes undone that he understands.

When he turns around, Eliza holds Harrison’s guardian angel in her palm. The chain noosed carelessly around the angel’s throat.

This kind of epic sequence of Lonan yeeting away the darkroom ft a subtle Houses With Teeth reference??:

Lonan will burn down the darkroom one-handed. He hustles through the rain and forest brush with the gas can, the flashlight pricked between his teeth. The woodland seems so irrelevant at night; moonlight pares through clumps of deciduous trees; rain blisters from the opaque clouds; a ground animal, perhaps a raccoon, or squirrel, scampers up a redwood and into its hollow. It’s lost its energy, replaced with irrelevant, forgettable details. But still he moves with conviction, weaving between tree trunks like he’s the one who put them there.

His second reunion with the darkroom is not something of the fantastic. He’s done his time staring at it like it’s got teeth, strong incisors that will nick him if he looks at it the wrong way. When he arrives at its pathway, rain prowling down his cheeks, his left hand wrapped hastily in the eucalyptus towel, he has not come for reconciliation.

Gasoline could substitute the Pacific, he thinks as he unscrews the bottle’s cap and lugs liquid onto nearing brush, smothering the wildflowers needling through the shed’s concrete platform. It moves the same, sounds the same, does the same thing—spreads. He leaves no square foot untouched with fuel. He douses the doorway, its shattered windows, even the individual holes in its hardwood floor. He dresses the darkroom in gasoline and doesn’t blink when he pulls his lighter from his pocket and sets it on fire.

Here’s when Lonan approaches the cabin and first sees the dead rabbit:

Lonan arrives back at the cabin a half hour later, smelling like soot and wet earth. He expects to see Eliza inside, turning over the last bits of scorched wood with the fire iron. Drinking a bottle of red wine turned to vinegar by herself, the cork neatly pushed in the centre of the hearth. But when he approaches the cabin, tracking up rain and dirt, Eliza is not inside.

She sits on the veranda, stooped over the glass worktable, her hands fumbling against the head of a rabbit. There is no question the animal is dead. It’s small, just bigger than the length of her palm, its grey fur gone cobalt with rain. Its head lolls against the frost of the glass. There is no bringing it back to life.

“Where did you find that?” Lonan asks. He wrings his hair of rainwater knowing it will get soaked again before another minute passes.

“It washed up.” She strokes its ear, examines its fur with her thumb and middle finger, as if tending to cashmere.

Lonan impales the rabbit in the same way he impaled the previous chapter’s fish and this is what happens after that. We also get a hint at why the chapter is called Holy Obedience:

“Do you do everything in the name of your father?”

“Obedience is an act of love.”

“Burning down his darkroom is not what he would’ve wanted.” Eliza pulls her arms close to her chest, gnaws on a bloody hangnail.

“That’s what I wanted.”

“Then you have two conflicting agendas.”

“Isn’t killing the rabbit what you wanted? Aren’t you vegetarian, Eliza? Aren’t those two conflicting agendas?”

Eliza taps the hilt of the knife, fully upright in the rabbit’s skull. Her lips purse. Her posture straightens. She wipes her mouth with the clean plane of her forearm. When she deescalates the veranda’s steps and walks past him, he doesn’t follow her at first. He watches her back, the way her hair flutters before sinking with the rain. How blood drips off her fingertips and onto the dirt driveway, pinkish, like the colour a child might want their wall.

And the fateful drive begins, ft. a scene I repurposed from the old ch.2:

Loam gives under the car’s wheels, sputters up onto the windows as she backs the car onto a dirt path. He does not ask where she’s going. Even as they drive deeper into the thicket of trees, branches combing the windshield, paths he’s never been, he does not ask.

“What other things did your father teach you?” she asks after some time dozing through the woods.

Eliza’s hung a lucky rabbit’s foot from the rear-view mirror, tannish fur that whitens when Lonan reaches and turns it over.

“This isn’t vegetarian,” he says, scales the foot with his fingernail, bloodying it just as the rabbit on the veranda. Its ball chain clatters with every brush of his finger, the sharp jut of its cap, neatly carved into the head of a rabbit, prickling against his finger. Rain clatters against the window, each drop’s shadow inking his jeans, arms. “Genesis. How to kill a fish. The easiest places to be caught when you run.”

Me leaving the city haha:

They parse through trees, bushes, and Lonan knows each species even without looking, and the longer she doesn’t answer, the more insistent he becomes at stating them aloud. “Red alder. Pacific dogwood. Cascara. Ponderosa pine,” he says.

Here are the final two paragraphs. Fun fact, I stole “holy vengeance” from myself which appears in one of the later chapters in Rewired.

The next time Eliza presses the accelerator, it’s with a holy vengeance. As if something guides her, her heel gorging into the pedal. They move so quickly, Lonan doesn’t know when the forest ends and where the beach starts—it all melds, a mosaic of vague landscapes. He doesn’t know when he reaches for the rabbit’s foot hanging from the mirror and holds it to his chest, like he knows what she’ll do. Even before she says, “I always wanted to be buried by cattails,” even before the car’s wheels whir over sand, driftwood, strings of kelp, even before they dive head-first into the lake, he knows.

Crashing into water sounds like rising to heaven. He doesn’t know why this is the first connection he makes, or why all he visualizes as the car sinks is the wisp of white clouds, the balmy lift of air that hikes him through the sky. Even though the water is dark, all he sees is light, crisp and glittering from above. As he ascends, he turns to look for Eliza, and there she is, slumped over the wheel, a stroke of blood dripping into her mouth. He is weightless when he stabs the cap of the rabbit’s foot into the corner of the window so it splinters. Weightless when he inhales and pushes through the broken glass like it’s Peter’s gate and he’s a step away from salvation. Weightless when he paddles through the water like a sunfish, his body ready for this, good at this, as he holds his breath. Weightless when the car sinks, and his head breaches the water like an orca, weightless when he opens his mouth to the storm and exclaims his hallelujah, his new beginning, his ultimate baptism.

That’s it for this update! I will be back sooner rather than later as I recently completed chapter six, but that’s a wrap on Lonan’s POV y’all!

--Rachel

[rock-n-roll-refugee]

Ultraviolence~Chapter 1

I had to rewrite this because I forgot to save it... shoot me

PART 2 OUT NOW ON MY PAGE (I’m too lazy and dumb to link)

Peter Parker x Villain!Reader

A/N: This is something I wanna try, and I know I suck at writing and sticking to one project so let’s see how well this goes. And if y’all like this please let me know I feed off your complements :( also idk what The Hand is, i know its from Daredevil, but I'm just using it randomly. sorry

warnings: a lot of swearing lol, violence, blood

If you watched A Clockwork Orange you would know that the storyline follows a madman’s twisted descent into normality. Substitute Def Leppard for the old Ludwig Van and you have the tragic story of (Y/N) (Y/L/N). 

She had many similarities to the infamous Alex Delarge in which they both are mentally deranged and crave that sweet taste of violence. (Y/N) also took part in somewhat of a gang, but it wasn’t like Alex’s droogs. It was more of an ancient organization of assassins than a gang, but nonetheless, she was on the wrong side of the law. The organization was called The Hand and she was taken in by Bakuto, the leader, when she was only four after her father killed her mother and abandoned a very young (Y/N) on the streets. Her father was a rouge member and destroyed his family so he could escape for himself. Or at least that was the story she was told. Bakuto took her in because he saw potential, or maybe it was just her superhuman powers, for she had the ability to manipulate the elements into any weapon of choice making her an excellent weapon for The Hand. 

~

It was a typical mission, take out a corrupt entrepreneur who had got caught in a bad situation with some bad people. It was a task that she had preformed many times over many years, but today was different. It was her first solo mission. 

“Its in and out. Simple as that.” she whispered to herself.

She scaled the building, it was a large villa on the edge Lake George in New York. It was magnificent and it all came from dirty money. The atmosphere gave her a boost of confidence and she decided, why not have a little fun? Unlike the rest of The Hand, she always liked to spice up her assassinations with a little flare. Just like her idol Mr. Delarge, she was always one for the dramatics. A lot of her inspiration came from her favorite movie, as you know, is A Clockwork Orange. However, this was the only film (Y/N) (Y/L/N) has ever sense there wasn't anything to compare to. She smuggled the film into base, knowing she was forbidden to view films from the outside, and that it would disrupt her training, but it was her only memory with her previous family. Her father would watch this movie and to her mother’s dismay, she watched it along with him even though it was a movie very unsuitable for young eyes. What should be considered an awful memory according to Bakuto was something of comfort for (Y/N). Unlike most, she sympathized for Alex Delarge, and even though he was meant to be an evil “anti-hero”, she was able to relate to his strife.

She was lost in her thoughts when she heard the front doors open and close. She snuck to a new hiding spot and watch guests flow into the mansion. There was a corporate celebration being held tonight, and what better way of sending a message than in front of maybe hundreds. The hours passed and it became gradually hard to stay hidden due to the vast amount of party goers. She was ahead of the game however and was prepared for this situation. She changed into appropriate attire for the event, which was a black camisole dress layered with a mesh long sleeve dress with gold embroidery, which was provided to her. She slipped on the obligatory heels and joined the party, waiting for the right moment to strike. 

~

“I don’t understand Mr. Stark, why did you have to bring me here again?” Peter whined at Tony as the exited the car. 

“Kid, if you want to be involved with Stark Industries you need to know how to go to things like this.” Tony said waving off Happy. 

“Who is this guy anyways?” Peter said trying to keep up with Tony

“This guy is a pretty big investor in my company, and it would be rude of us not to go. He’s kind of a jackass though.”

They maneuvered their way through the crowd, shaking hands and greeting unfamiliar people. They finally found a place to stand, to be greeted by yet more money sniffing mongrels wanting to stuff their greedy hands into Tony’s pockets. Peter slouched over getting bored after only 15 minutes and waiting for this event to be over. He groaned and Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. Peter’s eyes began to scan the room for something slightly interesting, when he caught a good look at her. His posture suddenly improved grabbing Tony’s attention. He watched Peter drool over the (Y/H/C) haired girl in the black and gold dress, watching every move she made.

“Quit drooling kid and go talk to her.” Tony demanded. Peter’s eyes went large.

“Wha-what do you mean Mr. Stark?” Peter stuttered looking back from her and Tony.

“You really aren’t subtle.” Tony said face palming, “quit groaning and go over there. Gives you something to do rather than bugging me all night.”

Tony nudged Peter in her direction and he slowly and awkwardly waddled over to her. She stood in a pretty empty part of the party with her arms crossed, just staring blankly into the crowd.

“he-hey” he said softly

She looked at the nervous boy with her eyebrow raised, 

“hi” she said easily dismissing him

“um... so... cool party right?”

“right.” she said giving only a sliver of attention the the boy. Her attitude gave him a weird boost in confidence.

“So, what’s your name?” He asked throwing her off guard.

“Uhhh...” she was preparing to go unnoticed and not talk to anyone, so she didn’t even bother coming up with a fake name. She frantically scanned the room for ideas. She looked over to the bar and saw the bartender pouring a drink for a partygoer,

“Scotch...” she muttered, “Scotch uhhhh...” 

She then saw a man walk by wearing a brown leather jacket,

“Leather?” She said unsure.

“Scotch Leather?” Peter asked

“Yeah...” she said mentally face palming.

He began to burst out laughing as she joined him laughing nervously.

“I’m so sorry, I know that’s your name and its very rude of me to laugh, but no offense, that sounds like a stripper’s name.” He said as she scoffed. She realized the humor in it and began to laugh hysterically with him. 

Hours went by, and the two just talked and laughed about everything. As night fell, they heard a glass being chimed, attracting everyone’s attention. The host, and (Y/N)’s target stood up in the front of the room. 

“That’s my cue” she said to herself.

“Sorry what?” Peter said no catching what she was saying.

“Oh, I said I need to use the restroom.” she said putting down her glass of water, “It was nice meeting you Parker.” 

Peter smiled victoriously and marched back to Tony.

“You were over there for a while. How’d it go?” Tony whispered as the host began his speech.

“Amazing! She's smart, and pretty, and my age too!” Peter told him ecstatically.

“Did you get her number?”

“Crap.”

~

She had changed back into her previous attire and snuck onto the roof where she had a good view of her target. She tied her hair up into a tight bun and slipped on her mask. She had to use her full face mask due to the fact that she walked around the party for a while and enough people saw her face to be able to show it. She groaned at the suffocation and begrudgingly stuffed her head in. It was musty and smelled like sweat, and the connected goggles were scratched up and foggy. The one advantage was that her identity was completely hidden and she looked pretty freaky. She adjusted her suit, which was an all black bulletproof suit that went up to her neck, and cargo pants and boots over the suit. 

She reached out her hand and a chunk of metal melted from a bare pipe and flew into her hand, shaping into a katana once it touched her palm. she peaked through the skylight at the target, still rambling on.

“...and to all those who have been a part of my project, I’d like to thank and for the profits, we are making more than we anticipated, so I am making a proposal for the next...” 

He droned on for a long time, but she had to wait for the perfect moment. She wanted to make her first solo mission something to remember. 

She cut a hole through the skylight and swiftly hopped down right behind him, barely making a noise when her feet touched the floor. She went unnoticed until she stood up behind him. She was merely a shadow, and barely visible, but what caught everyone’s eye was the gleam of her sword. The crowd audibly gasps at the intruder and a frightened murmur is heard throughout the room.

“I know, I know. These new plans are ambitious, but trust me I have a plan to initiate a...” he says, as a reply to the gasps and murmurs.

The assassin smirks under her mask as the host turns around confused as to why the crowd looked frightened, and the moment he is face to face with her she sheaths her katana deep into his heart. The people in the crown scream and run frantically out of the building. She chuckles knowing the scene looks almost like renaissance painting, her and the target dead center, his eyes rolled back into his head, and the frenzy of the guests scattering the ironically serene and exquisite room. It was almost poetic and how she wished she could get a snapshot of the moment. She twisted the sword making the man scream out in pain and retracted her sword, taking one last look at the magnificent scene and scurrying off.

“Hey Peter?” Tony asked, not looking directly at him

“Y-yeah?”

“Do you have your suit on you?”

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC

Good evening, folks! If you saw my first instalment of “Undo my ESC”, the annual feature where I make a year’s Eurovision better for me by making alterations in each country, you might have thought that ESC getting cancelled had dulled my edge, since, comparing to usual standards, I hardly changed much at all there. Well, that’s because, once again, we have seriously uneven semis, and Semi #1 would have been killer, whilst Semi #2 would have been dead. Here is what Í would have done to even those semis up! 🇦🇱 Albania: The Albanian delegation had seemingly done all it could to wash its hands of, well, two years of comparatively excellent results with authentic, melancholically poëtic and qualitative tracks, namely Malland Ktheju tokës. They brought in Byuckman, in whose interest it is for the contest to become as generically “radio-friendly” as possible, and the genius who brought us lyrics like “this is love/rain falls from above”. As judges. Of a serious musical festival. The foreign jurors did as expected, and voted for the appointed “bop”, but were foiled, however, by one of the minority Albanian jurors on the panel who put it  low in her ranks. An actual renowned music professor who got called all the names under the sun for doing so. And so, to an ensuing shitstorm, the classical and powerful Shaj prevailed instead. Unfortunately, the battle was won but the war was lost, because the representative herself took the lessons of 2018-9, threw them down the aeroplane toilet on the way to LA, and ripped the spirit out of the song, reverting back to the previous Albanian trend of terrible “revamps” and laboured translations into English. The result, Fall from the sky, is but a husk of the original. In my ESC, I’d probably simply keeping the original version of Shaj, which was my uncontested #1 of all songs, but part of me would opt for Ajër, which I love almost as well but which doesn’t carry the baggage of hanging over my head like the sword of Democles this entire season. 🇦🇲 Armenia: I’ve more often than not loved the entries of Hayastan, from the joyous Jan Jan to the soaring Fly with me and defiant Walking out. To say they took a step back this year is kind – it was more like a powerful jump backwards that landed them in the nearest ocean, where they sank like a stone. It was one of the most singularly unpalatable NFs that I have ever watched in this era. Rather than retraumatise myself by going into detail about it, I’ll just say, I would have sent Srbuk or Artsvik again to get the top 10 that I feel both warranted!

🇦🇹 Austria: What a journey for Österreich. From Conchita to this guy, a perky homophobe who explicitly said he wished his kids would not turn out to be gay. He comes up with a third-rate impersonator of a third-rate Benjamin Ingrosso impersonator’s third-rate impersonation of a Timberlake b-side. I would throw that in the bin and invite Pænda back from last year for a shot at redemption after her gorgeous Limits got slept on in 2019.

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Some people had the neck to say to me “who needs Hungary when Bulgaria is coming back?” Well, I do. Hungary were constantly in the top of my rankings, and just quietly and consistently brought quality. Bulgaria has brought me one good thing – Poli Genova’s œuvre – and a tonne of hype. Their song this year was one of the favourites, and I still can’t wrap my head around how other than the force of PR. It’s a bizarre, unsettling combination of passive-aggressive “look how much you’re making me hurt myself” lyrics with Disneyish saccharine accompaniment, topped off with a key change?! For want yet again of a national final, I would bring Poli back – third time even luckier? 🇨🇿 Czechia: The Bohemians (and Moravians) keep it contemporary but superficial for a third year running, although, thankfully, for the first time since they began doing national finals, we finally have a song without a dubious attitude towards women in the lyrics. Not that there is much to analyse in those lyrics. It’s a merely ok song for me, no better, no worse: a superior alternative would have been Barbara Mochowa’s lush and contemplative second effort, White and black holes, or the glorious 90s British indie-influenced All the blood. 🇩🇰 Denmark: Did Denmark confound international monitors into calling it the world’s happiest country by exposing them to the relentlessly cheery songs that they pick for Eurovision lately? And yet – I really do say yes to Yes, To a certain extent, to a limited amount of exposure, and despite the fact that it leans a little too hard into the territory of sounding like a second Little talks. It was one of the few good songs from DMGP – I also liked the 80s shoegaze-ish Den eneste goth– and I feel so mad at DR that they won’t give Ben and Tan a guaranteed second shot to represent their country after they won in front of an empty crowd. 🇪🇪 Estonia: The days of Eesti being Beesti seem like from a distant memory to me, but there was some quality and quirkiness in Eesti Laul, buried under mountains of beigedom, like the rich-voiced Egert Miller’s soulful Georgia, the jazzy Write about me, or the feisty earworm that was Ping pong. Instead, we got a dreary dirge with sub-Hallmark lines about wot luv is, which would have sounded dated in a contest 30 years ago, sung by a repugnant guy who tried to get people to vote for him last year by leaning on the idea that he was the “only true Estonian.” I’d have Egert get his rightful place as Jüri Pootsmann’s spiritual successor. 🇫🇮 Finland: I was one of the few to be jubilant when a bizarre ode to an Italian porn star with a backing track sounding like a violated version of Eläköön elämä came second in the polls to its spiritual opposite: a shy and rather awkward guy singing a quietly moving song about the passing of time. I love Looking back and wouldn’t change a thing. 🇬🇪 Georgia: You never know what to expect from Georgia, except the unexpected, and yet even I was surprised by what they came up with: a close-shaven guy with veins popping in his head screaming “why don’t you love meeeee?” to a rocky, electronic backdrop. Me being me, I actually do like it a lot. “Take me as I am” sounds like a veiled potshot at the big 5 and a vindication of Georgia’s “keep it weird, send what we want” philosophy. I could suggest that the lyrics, that sound like those of a spurned angsty teen, change a bit, but that would be defeating the purpose of Georgia: one takes them as they are. 🇬🇪 Greece: So, somehow, despite S!STERS coming dead last with 0 pts in the televote last year, using exclamation marks to substitute the letter I is now a thing in Eurovision with the advent of Superg!rl. I spent an hour watching folk waffle on in Greek in its reveal show only for them to reveal the song literally at the very end, so after that, it was a little underwhelming, and nowhere near as good as Better love in 2019. I don’t hate it – and the music video’s concept of her being an amazing superhero who can change the world, but instead she’s stopping people slipping over bananas and rescuing cats from trees is weirdly endearing, so it can stay, but I’d improve the lyrics, particularly in the chorus. “I’m a supergirl, supergirl, in a crazy world, crazy world” is not much higher than “this is love, rain falls from above” in historically bad Greek lyrics at ESC. 🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr came back from near-victory with the delightful Is this love, added a lovely inspiration in his newborn daughter to a similarly funky and playful track, and came out with Think about things. Unlike what usually happens with songs that are a little bit odd, I was positively surprised to see it walk the NF, and become a phenomenon even outside the ESC fandom. This was perfect and joyous from beginning to end. I hope Iceland will not be like the other Nordics, and will invite Daði directly back .🇱🇻 Latvia: I have come to enjoy the bizarre chaötic energy of Still breathing, It’s a hot mess, but I take weird over dull any day. It wasn’t my favourite in Supernova – that would be the effortlessly cool Polyester, an earworm with a social conscience, written about the cost of fast fashion but dismissed by many people as “she luvs t-shirts song lol”. Given that Samanta Tina tried over half a dozen times to go to ESC, finally won and then had the chance ripped out of her hands by the cancellation, I don’t have the heart to remove her from my ideal ESC 2020 though. She stays, but maybe the staging changes? It’s odd to have what you believe is a feminist anthem but then relegate your backing singers to in the distance, their faces shielded away. 🇲🇩 Moldova: Life is too short to follow Moldovan national finals, especially when you know, lately, that whoever is backed by the hilariously inaptly named Dream team will win there. They are like a parasite, sucking out the colour and fun out of a country that once had plenty of both – cross-reference Hora din Moldova or Lăutar to name just two examples. I guess out of an uninspiring lineüp, I’d go for Moldoviţa for having at least a hint of the brassy folk that used to be their calling card. 🇵🇱 Poland: Speaking of calling cards, after a one year hiatus with an arresting combo of white voice and rocky instrumentation, Poland has returned to what it has most often done in recent years – presented us with an absolute dirge, Empires, which seems like it was written by an unenthusiastic English student whose homework assignment (for which they received a generous C-) was to write a poëm with a bunch of metaphors “we’re moths to a flame, birds to a pane of glass, gasoline and a match”. Despite having a big music industry from which to choose many gems, Poland offers me little alternative choice given that there were only three songs in their grand final – one by the Czech representative last year who, as you might guess from what I said literally a sentence up, isn’t even Polish!Horny Elf, who’s contractually obliged to write only creepy lyrics for songs, tried to represent Polska with a song inspired by a true-life situation where he went around Tel Aviv with a cardboard cutout of one of the hostesses of the show. It’s a love song inspired by gallivanting around with a piece of cardboard. Addressed to that actual hostess. And it’s an almighty earworm that hasn’t escaped my mind since. Amazingly, his Lucy would be my Polish representative. 🇵🇹 Portugal: Portugal is another country beloved by me by for dancing to the beat of its own drummer, or perhaps, rather shedding tears to the strumming of its own fado guitar. They struggled being different, they won being different, and for the last few years they’ve struggled again, despite having a lot of support for both O jardim and Telemóveis amongst fans. This year, the televote went for one interesting song, the charmingly Gallic, accordion-drenched Passe-partout, a song about a cultured girl shaking off her boorish ex who could “never even get into Piaf”, whilst the jury got behind another interesting song, Gerbera, an entrancing, arresting and poëtic song laden with metaphor about the idea of music competing itself. This let Medo de sentir,second in both polls, turn silver into gold. It’s a lovely, heart-felt track, but rather unexceptional - I would have had one of the other more singular songs win. 🇸🇲 San Marino: The weird boil on the face of ESC that somehow never pops, SM is back after its bewildering qualification with a tone-deaf dentist wailing to a microwaved disco song… with something actually palatable, sort of. The aptly named Freaky is dated, odd, overly busy, but Senhit has a lot of charisma, and the idea of “break[ing] all the rules, mak[ing] up some new [ones] and destroy[ing] all of them too” and “life goes by too quickly not to be freaking it up”, well, maybe we do get on board. 🇷🇸 Serbia: Serbia is usually a byword for quality at the contest – they won with one of the best 21st century winners hands down in Molitva, and also sent some of the most beautiful compositions in the contest’s history at the hands of Željko. This year, they decided to join in the leitmotif of reliable countries sucking by sending a group that sound like a third-rate mid-2000s girl band from Transnistria when beautiful songs like Cvet sa Prokletija were right there. 🇨🇭 Switzerland: Fair play to the Swiss for not doing a Cyprus and leaning in on their success with their male Fuego, She gat me, and instead going in a completely different direction with this moody effort. I’m not entirely convinced by the teenage emo-ish lyrics or the unnecessary falsetto, but Répondez-moi is a refreshing effort, and has the bonus of being in French too! And the automatic qualifiers: 🇫🇷 France: You’ve heard of France, right? You know, that wee country south of Belgium, north of Andorra, not much of a music industry… or so you’d think, given that the troolee jeenyuss new delegation, who abandoned their brilliant national final which showcased how diverse and qualitative their music scene is despite it being a huge success in the fandom, and instead reached out to the writer of last year’s last place song for the UK and a few other rentaswedes and they produced something that sounds like a b-side that not even Westlife would have recorded, replete with a stock key change. About as French as IKEA köttbullar. A real shame for one of Europe’s most highly esteemed cultural hotbeds. If they wanted to pick Tom Leeb, who seems like a nice guy and has written some lovely music, he could have made his own song and it would have indubitably been scores better than this. 🇪🇸 Spain: I’m going to apply this to all the automatic qualifiers voting on this semi-final: they scrapped a national final for this? OT was not an ideal format as last year demonstrated with its shit show of contestants sabotaging themselves so as not to get picked for ESC – but still. There’s not much I can say about this other than I don’t like it much and I’d rather Spain return to a proper NF. You don’t spend time trapped on a bus where this song with its torturous falsetto was on replay and emerge with fond feelings. 🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Usually, in this space, I can point to a song that the UK should have sent and that I fell in love with – like I wish I loved you more or You. Once again, though, another big 6 nation scrapped their NF after tanking it with a bizarre format last year. The BBC said nothing for months, then were unwilling to spend tv time on ESC this year so just blurted out an announcement of an announcement in  about 40 seconds after some dance show. And then they dropped this song. It’s… passable at best, with an annoying chorus (especially that beat in “my last… breath”) and a staggering amount of repetition in a song that clocks in at only around 80% of the standard Eurovision song length. James Newman surely could have come up with something better. It’s a baby step in the right direction, but one taken at the shore where you need to start running to avoid getting pulled away in a rip.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Art Of Remembrance (Part 28)

Azula jerks  up right, it is dark and nippy and her body still shakes. She inspects her arms, but it is too dark to see if there are any new stitches. She doesn’t feel like there are. She doesn’t feel the slick warmth of blood. If they haven’t picked at her arms then… She lifts her shirt and runs her hands over her sides and belly. She only finds the visages of old wounds. Squinting her eyes, she feels the length of her legs. They are smooth and unscarred. Perhaps her back…

She begins to come back to herself. She realizes that she is not in the white room and when she tries to recall what has happened to her, she remembers it with perfect clarity. And, Agni, does she wish that she didn’t.

Azula swallows hard and draws her legs up to her chest. Sokka and Zuko snore audibly and the Imperial Firebenders--save for the one on look out--slumber around her. She wonders how many of them it had taken to subdue her.

She is dangerous. This is why everyone had looked at her with fear in their eyes when she’d first come back.

“You’re awake.” Sokka notes. She cringes and scans his chest for a burn. His parka has a hole burned through it but it doesn’t look as though she has hurt him. That doesn’t stop her from thinking of how terribly she might have.

She casts her eyes away from him as she says, “yes.”

“Good. I was kind of worried.” At Sokka’s reply, Zuko stirs. “Why don’t we go somewhere else so we don’t wake everyone up?”

“Because you probably shouldn’t be alone with me, especially not here.”

At first he looks puzzled and then he seems to connect the dots. “I’m not afraid of you.”  

“Maybe you should be.” She mutters as she props herself up against the wall. Against, perhaps, her better judgement, Azula pushes away Sokka’s parka. She nearly grimaces at the sight of an angry red blotch on his upper chest.

“It’s no big deal!” Sokka says quickly. “It’s like a sunburn…”

Azula narrows her eyes. “Sunburns only blister when they are serious.”

“It’s an easy fix.” He insists. When we get back to Katara, she can heal it right away.”

And when Katara sees it...when the others see it...the delicate trust that they’ve established will be null. She lightly bites her lower lip and says nothing at all.

“Go back to sleep, you could use the rest.”

Azula puts her head back down but she doesn’t close her eyes. There is no sense trying. She watches Sokka get himself cozy again. She rolls onto her side, feeling sick and nauseous. The compound has been built to keep the cold out but she finds herself chilled in spite of this. She can still feel hands on her. Can still feel needles and scalpels burrowing into her delicate skin and exploring her chi points. Her head throbs. Her body shakes lightly.

She holds herself tightly.  She knows that it is terribly irrational yet she still feels as though  and can’t fight off the thought that they will come back for her. That she will see their silhouetted figures haloed in moonlight and battered by snow standing in the doorway. That they will pick her off of the floor and drag her into the compact bowles of the compound where they will wrap vines around her head and continue to pick her apart.

Azula swallows and fixes her eyes on the door, should it so much as creak she will have fire on her palms. She can hear her blood beating behind her ears and her heart thumping in her chest.

.oOo.

She is crying softly to herself again. He is surprised that she has only awakened him. He doesn’t need to see it to know that her golden eyes gleam with tears. He has an urge to wipe them away with his thumbs. Instead he reaches out. His hand stops a few feet from her shoulder before he retracts it and utters a quiet, “hey.”

Azula’s body jerks. He catches the smallest burst of fire before it dies away. He finds himself thankful that he hadn’t abruptly touched her again.

She turns to him.

“I can’t  sleep here Sokka, I can’t stay here”  She chokes out.

Sokka bites his lip, beginning to regret having so quickly shot down the possibility of seeking shelter elsewhere. “Sorry.” He mumbles.

“For what?”

“For not even considering trying to find somewhere else to stay…”

She dismisses the apology. “Not logical anyways.”

“Huh?”

“For the whole of the group, it is better to stay here.” Her voice is still breathy and shaky with nerves but her speech sounds much more like her. Reassuringly like her. “But I can’t stay here.”

“Do you want to try to find someplace else?”

She seems to hone in on the relentless howl of the wind as it beats against and throws snow at the compound. She shakes her head. “It’ll be morning by the time we do, anyways.”

“So what do you want to do?”

She shakes her head. “Nothing that I’m actually able to do right now.”

His heart clenches and he gives the room a once over. “Why don’t we go for a little walk? We can find a part of the compound that you haven’t been in much.” He suggests.

Azula nods. “That might help.”

He offers a hand and hopes that she will take it. He freats when her eyes wander to the singed portion of his parka.

.oOo.

She lets Sokka help her to her feet, though she is perfectly capable of doing as much on her own, it is nice to have the hand there. “That hallway is familiar.” She points to it. “We should try that one.” She tugs him towards the hallway opposite it. He makes no objections.

“Are you going to be alright?” He asks.

“In the morning, when we leave here, I will be.” Azula answers.

She takes a corner and drops her pillows and sleeping bag.

“You just want to sleep in the hall?”

“I don’t like being in any of those rooms.” She suppresses a shudder. Distantly, in her mind, she still feels out of sorts. Still feels as though she is in two places...two time frames at once. That she is not quite in her own body. It will only take a small nudge to knock her out of it completely and back to that place. That place that is only torment and unyielding fear.

“Okay, that’s fine.” Sokka smiles. She tries to keep her stare on it. It is pleasant, unlike the angry red mark on his chest. She spreads out her sleeping back and sits down upon it. Sokka takes a seat next to her and hovers his hand above her back. “Can I?”

Azula nods and his hand finds its usual place between her shoulder blades. “You’re so tense.” He remarks.

“Yes.” She confirms.

“Here, lay down.”

Her body aches and strains all over so she complies with that instruction. She lays upon her belly and tucks her arms under her head. Sokka lifts the back of her shirt and gently prods at the chi point located at the small of her back. She gives a soft little sigh, only one chi point in and some of the tension has already left her.

He works his hands up her back, tenderly rubbing the aches out of it. She closes her eyes and silently drinks in the soothing feeling of his touch.

.oOo.

He wonders if it would kill the mood to tell her that he had, indeed, asked Dr. Phang for massage tips after her little jest about doing so. Decidedly, it will so he continues quietly working out the knots in Azula’s chi points.

Her breathing is growing more relaxed and even and his heart floods with relief. He can only imagine how relieved she feels. He reaches the spot between her shoulder blades, this is a particularly tense spot, the muscles beneath feel almost more knotted than the chi points. He cups his hands in small C’s over her shoulders and carefully squeezes and lifts. With any luck he can relax her enough to get her to sleep.

Azula still says nothing but occasionally gives a hushed, satisfied hum.

“Roll over.”

The princess does so. Now, lying on her back, Sokka places the heels of his hands on the sides of her neck and rubs out. “This one has always been tricky for me.” He notes as he tries to work out the kinks in her neck.

“You’re fine.” She mumbles.

He smiles. “Good to know.” When he finishes working with her neck and works with her arms. These are nearly as tense as her shoulders. It takes him longer to rub the soreness from them. He lightly but firmly presses his thumbs over her chi points, taking special attention to not dig too deep and cut off her chi.

Sokka is reassured that he is doing well at the faintest smile that appears on her lips.

.oOo.

He sets right arm down and picks up the other. Her right arm hums and tingles pleasantly. It is looser and considerably less achy than it had been. Sokka doesn’t quite have the expertise of Dr. Phang, but he is a formidable substitute.

From her arms he moves to her legs. Personally, she would have gone for the chest first but she doesn’t argue. Her legs are mighty sore from trudging through the snow for hours. It is well to feel some of the tension in them alleviated. It is a very helpful distraction from her surroundings. She closes her eyes as his hands move to her navel. Truly, her fire chakra and the chi points around it can use the massage. He is kind and careful when working with it. He works the palm of his hand in circles over her abdomen. Over and over until she feels like her fire is flowing freely. It has been a while since she has felt her chakra burn so pleasantly warm.

She gives another small and pleasured sigh.

He seems to hesitate, his hand lingers above her chest until she takes it in hers and brings his touch to her skin. “I don’t mind. Go on.” She doesn’t mind at all. She just hopes that he is comfortable as well.

Sokka hesitates only a moment more before rubbing the same circles on her chest. The massage is endlessly soothing. She can almost find sleep. Mayhaps one day, she could try to return the favor.

“There.” He says, withdrawing his touch.

“Lay down?” Azula pats the sleeping bag.

Sokka stretches himself out next to her. Her belly flutters, she isn’t particularly one to take chances, but the entirety of her night has been full of anxiousness and discomfort. At least this time around it will be controlled. She pulls herself closer to him, half expecting him to scoot back or to lightly push her away. Instead he resumes rubbing her back and shoulders.

She wraps her arms around him and presses her forehead against the unburned part of his chest. She thinks that, perhaps, she can sleep like this.

.oOo.

Nervous jitters tingle in Sokka’s tummy as the princess nuzzles herself against him. He was plenty aware of the intimacy of a massage, particularly an all over massage. But he hadn’t been quite prepared for her to wiggle herself so close.

He doesn’t have any complaints though. The night has an abundant chill and her body is tremendously warm, especially with her fire chakra flowing more freely. She wraps her arms around him and he returns the gesture.

As he rubs her back and shoulders, he again finds himself wondering if he should be so affectionate with her. He peers down at Azula, her frame is so small against his own. Small but full of frightening power. He feels her hands curl around the cloth of his parka.

She is, by all accounts, probably the most precious thing he has seen in a long time. Since Suki.

Yet, he vividly recalls when that soft expression had been coldly and cruelly blank. When fire cast sinister shadows upon it. When it was accented by a truly devious and unkind smirk. When those hands that bunch into his park hand punched bursts of fire at he and his friends. And she is oblivious to the burnt of it.

For the time, her hands trace the muscles of his biceps, rubbing in small circles that are as tender as the ones he had offered her. Still, he can’t help but wonder how long that will last when her mind is whole again.

“Thank you, Sokka.” She mumbles.

His stomach lurches and he feels guilty for thinking somewhat ill of her. “For what.”

She squints her eyes as though he has inquired about the most stupid thing. “Just in general, I suppose.”

He finds himself running his hand over her hair. She utters a quiet little purr. Still it takes him aback when she presses a kiss to his neck. And this one is much less brief than the peck she had given him back at the institution.

He hugs her closer. Fears and reluctances be damned, he thinks that he might be falling for her.

[sweetsmellosuccess]

TIFF 2019: Day 1

Films: 4 Best Film of the Day: The Lighthouse

Parasite: Outside of The Godfather, you wouldn’t expect the sound effect of a door to signify the emotional weight of an entire film, but early on in Joon-ho Bong’s Palme d’Or-winning comic tragedy, that’s what he achieves. The door in question is the outer entrance to the stunning house where the ultra-wealthy Parks live: As it opens, you hear the echoing, metallic clank and whoosh of well-heeled machinery. Standing outside of it is Dong-ik (Sun-kyun Lee), the youngest member of the vastly less successful Kim family. He lives with his parents and sister in a dark, bug-infested basement flat. What comes out of this visit, a job interview, eventually leads Dong-ik‘s family to insinuate themselves into the Park’s home, systematically replacing existing staff, until they have fully taken over. To this point, the film is mostly a comedy, but Bong isn’t satisfied with a simple farce. True to his nature, he keeps probing the situation, teasing it out with several other revelations and twists, until it becomes something almost altogether different. By the end, as it swerves inexorably into blood-soaked violence, the film reveals to be a bit of a con itself, drawing us in with its enticing humor, then opening up into a much darker vision, before ending on an emotional note of surprising vulnerability. Through it all, Bong shows a mastery of odd tones, from the opening comedic salvo, to the final emotional beats.

The Lighthouse: Horror is always deeply seated in myth, from our earliest beginnings, those things that terrified us became made manifest and canonized, as a way to explain them -- or at least acknowledge their existence. No modern filmmaker seems to understand this better than Robert Eggers, whose debut feature, The Witch, utilized actual language from existing folk myths and incorporated it into truly terrifying work. His new film utilizes a similar device, but while The Witch remained rooted in the realism of the New England countryside, this film is much more interested in the wild, chaotic lands inside our skulls. Willem DaFoe is the aging, half-mad Scottish wickie, manning the light, and Robert Pattinson is the younger apprentice, dealing with the drudgery of the day’s work for what is meant to be a four-week stint. We have two men alone on a desolate and isolated rocky island that may or may not be haunted with the spirits of long-dead sailors. Working as a kind of companion piece to his first film, Eggers creates a similar atmosphere of dread, while utilizing several thematically linked tropes – substitute the desolate woods for the desolate ocean; and raving seagulls in place of a jet-black billy goat. It’s like a half-mad sea shanty come to horrible life and twisting on itself in swirl of frothing currents. Because Eggers is constantly re-establishing what we are to consider real, and what is left in the buggered minds of these two drunken sots, we are on much softer ground than in his previous effort, the distinction between a pine forest ground, and the sand, I suppose, which makes the film less immediately unnerving, but no less impressive.

Zombi Child: It begins promisingly enough, with oddly interwoven threads from seemingly different films: a Haitian man is murdered with a Voodoo concoction only to return in undead form, escaping forced labor in the cane fields to return home; a group of French teen girls in a highly decorated private school outside Paris indoctrinate a new girl to their literary society; and one of the girls pines for the boy she is madly in love with, awaiting his return. Gradually, French director Bertrand Bonello starts connecting these threads, but the more they reveal themselves, the less luring the film becomes. From its intriguingly ambiguous start, it slides into disappointingly recognizable territory. Eventually, it settles into a commentary on cultural appropriation, by one of the characters, but also, as an indictment of the audience (and possibly Bonello himself), meddling in things we don’t begin to understand in the name of narrative thrill. It has many good moments, and some eerie sequences, but oddly loses power in its coherency.

The Personal History of David Copperfield: Armando Iannucci is well-known as a satirist of the highest order – “Veep,” the HBO TV series that just concluded its run, was a ribald and unsparing depiction of politicians as ego-maniacal lunatics – but his adaptation of the beloved Charles Dickens’ novel hews much more closely to the writer’s own sentimentalist fancy than what we might have expected from Iannucci’s normal comic eviscerations. Still, there’s plenty to enjoy here, from Dev Patel’s winning performance in the title role (dude could charm fuzz off a peach); to the bevy of other great character turns from a resonant cast including Hugh Laurie, Ben Whishaw, Gwendoline Christie,  Benedict Wong, and Tilda Swinton, among others. It turns out Dickens’ penchant for capital C characters plays well in Iannucci’s hands, and everyone seems to be having a hell of a time taking turns chewing up the scenery. It’s certainly a lot less lachrymose than what we’re used to from him, but it’s understandable why he might have needed a breath of less befouled air.

Tomorrow: Due to the vagaries of the schedule, it will likely be a simple, three-movie day: Beginning with Trey Edward Schultz’ Waves; moving on to The Sleepwalkers, an intriguing sounding film from Paula Hernandez; and closing the relatively easy day with Pedro Costa’s Vitalina Varela.

Photo: The Lighthouse

[prorevenge]

Teacher tells me I am lying about my mother having cancer.

This is a long one with TLDR at bottom

This was in my grade 11 year of high school, My computer class had a year long substitute teacher because our amazing teacher was out for a year working on a government contract. Our previous teacher was outstanding. He had six different classes in our classroom all happening at the same time which were: computer repair, programming lvl1, programming lvl2, networking lvl1, networking lvl2a and lvl2b. He would give a lecture for each of the classes on a specific day of the week, programming on Monday, repair on Tuesday and so on, we would all work in our own groups and everything went quite well.

The next year came around and I found out that we had a sub for the year I had two back to back blocks in this class cause I was doing two courses, I wandered up to the class to see what kind of teacher we were dealing with, mainly interested because i was almost certain whoever they found did not have the credentials to teach at least half of those classes. The new teacher was a foreign woman that none of us have ever heard of before, for the purpose of the story we will call her Mrs. S.

I went and found my friends to tell them what I had seen. We were all optimistic cause from a very short conversation she seemed quite informed and had a good background.

It didn't last long, on the first day of class Mrs. S introduced herself as a programming teacher who had been in school for four years. She went on to tell us about her programming experience in Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Access. She then told us that the programming students would not be doing the Java and C++ course we had signed up for and would instead be doing database and Excel because those are what she learned and she said and i quote 'they will be more useful than C and The Java'. She also went on to suspend all at lunch clubs because she didn't think high school students could be trusted with computers alone.

Understandably some of us were quite upset about that considering that we came there to program. She also did not give the repair people or the networking people any kind of support and completely stopped their lectures as well, preferring to let them figure it out themselves and 'self teach' without giving any of the resources to do so and occasionally throwing out a test pre-written by the last teacher for her.

This continued for about two weeks till one day she came in and said quite irritated that we would actually be doing 'The Java' now unless we wanted to keep doing database, so we switched to Java and she basically left us out to dry from there. because she wasn't teaching Database anymore she came to harass people in computer repair. First she told us the shop room was too messy and made us throw out 90% of our training workstations and equipment because they were not important in her eyes. Equipment that did not belong to the school but actually belonged to the other teacher. We took home what we could steal for safe keeping but she did end up throwing out a few thousand in equipment.

Then she started imposing stupid rules on us such as;

"You can't have the computer on while you are troubleshooting inside cause you could electrocute yourself"

Or

"You don't need the case open to troubleshoot motherboard lights"

Or my personal favorite and the most scary

"maybe you should change the power supply to 240v if you aren't getting enough power"

We followed most of her stupid requests as much as we could because she threatened to lock us out of the lab room and give us only textbook work if we didn't. Needless to say it was a challenging time. One of the students in the networking area got fed up and started doing up his own course work and lecturing to us so that we could at least get some kind of use out of the courses. To his credit it was all very good but Mrs. S had the balls to force him into doing it from there on out and then turn around and give him low grades for not getting his own work done on time.

A few months of this very uneasy balance go by and my mother comes down with Colon cancer. I have already had a handful of other family members suddenly taken from me by cancer so understandably this is a very stressful time. I was joking with my friends and trying to not break down over the whole thing. I had a very unstable laptop running Linux that would crash if looked at funny and had a horrible habit of corrupting the OS when the battery died because the reserve shutdown sensor didn't work anymore (battery always read 0% but would go for an hour or two). while I was working on the school desktop computer I had a few pages open that I was taking notes in and a facebook tab so I could keep in contact with my mother cause she was in surgery and I was waiting for her to come out. I look over and the teacher is snooping through my laptop opening folders and closing windows and eventually pushes the power button in till it shuts down (which also usually corrupts anything I was doing). The following happened.

M: What the hell do you think you are doing?

S: You shouldn't be on facebook or writing notes on a personal computer during class time, especially when your grades are slipping.

Thanks for bringing that up in front of everyone...

M: That gives you no right to touch my stuff! You better hope you didn't just corrupt everything! this laptop breaks easy.

S: Then you shouldn't have it out during class, keep that tone up and I'll see you get a detention.

At this point I am trying just to keep calm because if I get too emotional I have a tendency to explode. This is often made worse because of my mild autism. I took a second replied in a calmer tone.

M: I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time at home right now... My mother was diagnosed with Colon Cancer and I am waiting to hear back.

And this is the part which REALLY set me off.

S: You don't look like a kid who's mother has cancer, quit making sob story excuses.

are you FUCKING kidding me‽

It took every fiber of my body not to stand up and slap the bitch right there. I gave her the dirtiest thousand yard stare I think I have ever done while also trying to not burst out crying. I spoke to nobody for the rest of the day till I got home, people kept asking if I was okay and I ignored everyone. My mother was out of the hospital and home by the time I got there. I broke down crying and told her about my day, her face was comforting but you could see the fire of an angry woman behind her brown eyes. She told me not to worry and that it'd be okay.

A few weeks passed and I was called into the office for a one on one parent teacher conference someone forgot to tell me about. There were all the teachers I had that year, good and bad, my Learning assistance teacher the VP and the principal herself. They told me that we were there to discuss my grade slippage as soon as my mother came. My mother was about 10 minutes late, leaving me to awkwardly sit with all these people. She comes in and is all smiles,

M: Sorry I am Late! I got held late at the hospital.

Someone but i'm not sure who asked her why she was at the hospital and if everything is okay. My mother answered in her happy way.

M: I was just getting my C̭̟̦̤̕A̰̣̰̼Ń͕̝̬C̵͕E̯R̥̫͇̹̳͝ checked on, Because I have cancer.

The room went cold and her voice seemingly dripped with blood when she said it, my computers teacher went pale and everyone in the room was giving a confused 'what on earth did you do' look

My mother proceeded to relay me coming crying home about how I was treated to everyone present while Mrs: S tried to become one with the wall of the small meeting room. She kept it short but to paraphrase added the following.

M: How dare you say something so careless to my son, I hope you are ashamed and I hope you don't get invited back for another year.

She then returned back to her normal happy self and discussed my grades like nothing happened whilst half the teachers were still trying to figure out what just happened and told them that now she was out of the hospital my grades should improve again. I just sat quiet the whole time and tried to suppress bursting out laughing.

After that day she never directly spoke to me again, had instructions relayed through other people or gave them to the class as a whole, she did her damnedest to be nowhere near me and say nothing to me. My grades improved quite a bit and the year ended with me passing.

Mrs. S was previously offered a job at the school as a secondary computer teacher but after all the trouble the job was pulled back. The next year when our first computer teacher returned he was furious to learn most of his equipment and personal books had been thrown out, we returned the things that we snagged during the purge but he still lost a few thousand in personal teaching stuff. The school payed him back with 10,000 but he says he lost so much more than that in time and pre-set hand made equipment. We told him all about the horror show and he gave us all an extensive test normally given at the end of the year which the vast majority of us failed, we ended up redoing all the computer courses from the previous year because in his words she didn't even teach us the basics. that sub can no longer teach in this or the neighboring districts

TLDR: Shitty year long sub fucks us all over, tells me i am faking my mother's cancer and destroys another teachers personal property. Gets ripped into by mother with all my teachers and VP and P present. looses opportunity to work in my district or any surrounding for being unprofessional and not knowing her subject forcing everyone in her class to retake the next year.

(source) (story by flanigomik)

[sakumosowainthirst]

I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and coffee; let’s make a controversial post! Today’s topic: Fates/Awakening ships I hate!  :D

Preface: I’m not hating on anyone who ships these.  I’m also not saying you can’t/shouldn’t ship these.  I’m merely voicing why I dislike them, because I usually keep it all to myself and just feel like screaming into the void today.  So all of this is just my opinion, and you don’t have to take it seriously, okay? C:  Also, I don’t want to have to type “to me” after every opinion, so just take it as implied.

Now then, let’s begin.

Lonliss/Lon’qu-Lissa

Easily my biggest dislike on the list.  I will never, ever, ever understand why this is Owain’s most popular parentage.  Their supports weren’t all that great, and they are just so different from each other in ways that I think they would just clash.  I’ve seen people who ship it say, “He would be so supportive of Owain’s banter!  He would encourage his playfulness!”  And all I can think is, “Are we thinking of the same Lon’qu?  The one who’s stoic, doesn’t talk much, is very serious and grumpy?  That Lon’qu?”  He’s the token tsundere, sure, but I really don’t see him accepting Owain; I actually see the opposite.  I feel like Lissa and Owain’s upbeat personalities would grate on his nerves, to the point he’d find them both unbearably embarrassing.  Lissa and Lon’qu also just have MUCH BETTER ships/supports with other characters, and tbh, they both deserve better.  Lissa and Owain deserve someone who gels with their sunshine energy, and Lon’qu deserves a more reserved partner.  Of all Owain’s dad ships, Lonliss is the only one I truly cannot, “see,” and no explanation has made me able to, “see,” it as they both are in canon, and probably never will, tbh.  Every other Lissa ship, I can find some sort of merit, even if I don’t ship it, but when I look at Lonliss, there is just none.  No chemistry, no commonality, no anything that makes them a good couple.  Not in canon, anyway.  I’ve heard a ton of headcanons for it (I’m an Owain stan and this is quite literally his most popular dad, it’s very common), and fanon is fine and dandy, but when it bends canon too much, it just doesn’t sit well with me, and Lon’qu being any sort of okay with Lissa and Owain just bends canon too much, to me.  They’re too hyper, he’s too reserved.  As a final thought, I’m admittedly not a fan of any ship that takes Lissa and Owain away from Ylisstol, and Lon’qu (along with Donnel) does.  Their ending states they live in Ferox, and I just don’t like that.  I like Owain growing up alongside Lucina.  Also, Cynthia and probably Morgan would be in Ylisstol, and Owain canon has the Justice Cabal with them in his youth, so that’s kind of contradictory if he’s born and raised in Ferox.  (I also personally headcanon both Lissa and Owain hating the cold, tbh.  Odin has a line about hating the cold in Anna’s DLC in Fates, and I think Lissa mentions hating snow at some point, too, though I could be wrong.)

Owainigo/Laslodin/Owain-Brady

Grouping these together because I’m equally meh on both.  I can definitely see them, but I don’t like them.  Owain and Inigo do become bros, but I kind of feel like they would still squabble like petty children like their Awakening supports.  It’s more in a brotherly way, though; they start off teasing each other and end up in a slap-hands fight.  I like them as a friendship, just not a romantic ship.

Owain/Brady I have more trouble seeing because their only commonality is their mothers, and their supports make them seem like casual friends at best.  I feel like their mothers is a big part of why they’re shipped, tbh, which is just kind of :T for me.  I can see them if I squint, but it’s not a ship I care for.

The saddest thing is, look up anything spicy for Owain, you’re going to find one of these two in it.  Either these two or...

Odiniles/Leodin/Leotrio Threesome

Oh boy, here we go, SakuMo disliking another popular pairing(s).  Odin and Niles canonically bicker.  Like, they are nasty to each other.  Odin says as much in their A rank.  He says they should try to get along more, but I’m not really sure how well that would turn out.  To be honest, the only thing they really have in common is their loyalty to Leo.  Lacking that, they’re two wildly different people.  I’m not saying that different people can’t work as a couple--it happens all the time--but if you lack at least some common ground, it makes it really hard for a relationship to work.  Devotion to your master isn’t really much common ground.  Given their canon history, dramatically different personalities, and lack of common interests, I just don’t see them being compatible.  Every Odiniles fic I’ve ever read had Niles uncharacteristically understanding of Odin, to the point it didn’t even feel like Niles at all/he was very OOC.  One again, fanon is fine--you do you!--but bending canon too much and/or in ways that don’t make sense to the character is just not my scene.

Leodin is one that I can kind of see, definitely more than Odiniles, which in no way works in my head, but I’m just not a fan of it, generally.  My dislike isn’t as strong as with Odiniles, but it’s still there.  And I’ll just say that I am not into poly, don’t like OT3s, threesomes, etc., so that should sum up my feelings on the Leotrio as an OT3.

Odilise, Lazura, Selbaki, a.k.a. “The Oedipus Complex Ships”

Don’t make the Trio marry their moms, fam.  Odilise is the most egregious one, tbh, because Elise is so much like Lissa and it’s so, so creepy to ship her with Odin.  Never mind that canon Elise is supposed to be like...14-15 (I reject this canon and substitute my own hc of 18, but I digress), and though we don’t know how long the Trio is in Nohr before the start of Fates, we can assume anywhere from six months to a year or two considering they are well-established as retainers, so Odin is probably in his early 20s, at youngest maybe 20-21.  (Granted, using the canon ages makes a lot of ships suspect, especially with the younger characters, but I digress.)  I get that Elise is a good stat mom for Ophelia and gives the “canon” hair, but the ship itself is just problematic on a lot of fronts.  She’s basically his mom, their supports are playful but it def feels brotherly-sisterly (granted most of Elise’s supports do) and throws in the romance literally out of left field in the S rank, and they just look kind of suspect together, fam.  I have unfortunately in my travels across the internet for Owain content seen Odin/Elise porn, and the fact it makes me uncomfortable in a, “this looks really illegal,” way speaks volumes.  And again, yes, I know the same would be true for other ships with Elise, and it’s why there are few I actually like with her.  But Odin/Elise just in particular bothers me because like Lonliss, I see it the most, and it’s made me irrationally bitter toward it.  This one and Lonliss are my two, “hair-trigger rage,” ships.  I see either, I get really annoyed.  I don’t voice this, mind--I keep on scrolling and ignore the content--but it does make me grumpy, lol.  They’re the two I can honestly say I hate instead of just saying I dislike.

Selbaki is a bit lesser, but it basically makes Severa her own grandma, don’t do that. xD  Severa already has a complex with trying to be perfect like her mom, so making her feel the same not only for her husband but also her daughter is just cruel to her.  Give Severa a break, y’all.

Lazura is the least similar, admittedly, but it’s still in the same vein.  Performer marrying a performer.  Of the three, I can tolerate it the most, but it’s still not great for me.

Corrin/Any sibling, including Azura

Look, I get it.  Corrin is, by technicality, not blood-related to any of them, with the exception of Azura, who is their blood-related cousin.  H O W E V E R, just because they find out that they aren’t blood-related to the Nohr siblings doesn’t mean the familial bonds just go POOF.  The Nohr siblings would definitely not be like, “I guess we can bang Corrin now.”  If this were the case, adopted families would never “truly” bond because they aren’t related by blood.  Corrin growing up in Nohr means that they would most likely always see the Nohr siblings as family, and vice-versa.

Hoshido, on the other hand, is a bit trickier.  While it’s true they aren’t blood-related, I want to say Ryoma is the only one who knows?  Like, I think he’s the only one who brings it up in the S Support?  But lacking that, Corrin and the rest of the Hoshido siblings do think they’re blood-related.  Hidden Truths states that Corrin never learned the truth about their real father, nor that Lilith is their sister.  All 3 routes play out with the assumption that Sumeragi was Corrin’s father, and if it’s stated otherwise, it’s maybe only in the beginning as a throwaway line during the Mikoto section.  You could make a plausible argument that the Trio could tell Corrin the truth, since all 3 of them have heart-rank lines where they reveal their real names and that they’re from another world, but that’s leading into possible canon rather than actual canon (and is also why I hc it).  But for all intents and purposes, Corrin thinks they are blood-siblings with the Hoshido fam, so that would make them less likely to pursue them romantically.  And even if they knew, they still all all each other brother/sister.

Azurrin is the trickiest.  It’s only in Revelation that the connection between Arete, Azura’s mother, and Mikoto, Corrin’s mother, is made, afaicr, so in Birthright and Conquest, Corrin technically wouldn’t know they are cousins.  However, Azura would.  Azura always knew everything, because her mother told her about Valla and taught her the traditional song and such.  She most likely knew Mikoto was her aunt.  Even on the off chance she didn’t know, it would still be an awkward down the line thing when they find out they’re cousins.  I know Japan is more lenient on the whole cousin-marriage thing, but...don’t have Shigure and Kana coming out looking like the Habsburgs, please, I beg you, lol.

My rule of thumb: if two characters refer to each other as, “brother,” or, “sister,” at any point, don’t let them fuck.  xD

Kana/Any Romantic/Sexual Ship

Kana is a child.  Stop it.  Stop it right now.  They are a baby.  I’VE SEEN FICS, I KNOW IT EXISTS, YOU SICK FUCKS.  Even aged up feels a little awkward, but I can be a little bit more lenient on that.  I just never will.  Kana is asexual and aromantic in my eyes, lol.

That’s all I can really think of right now; coffee is wearing off, I need a nap, lol.  Once again, please don’t be offended if I dislike a ship you like!  We are all different!  I just wanted to throw this out there on the off chance I do requests again and someone wants one of these written, because I would respectfully decline.  I don’t mean these to be hateful, just sort of venting into the ether in a mildly-exhausted stupor.

Also, you can try to counter me on some of these, but tbh, a few of them, I am stubbornly never going to change my mind, so we’d just go round and round in a circular argument if you tried.  xD  I like what I like and don’t like what I don’t, lol.  I’m not typically a multi-shipper, either, so you’d probably be hard-pressed to get me to shift at all, lol.  I mean that in the most loving way possible, too.

[thetruthseekerway]

Onions: Where Sweet Meets Tangy

New Post has been published on https://www.truth-seeker.info/quran-science-2/onions-where-sweet-meets-tangy/

Onions: Where Sweet Meets Tangy

By Kelly Izdihar Crosby

Onions: Where Sweet Meets Tangy

Whether raw or sautéed, pickled or fried, onions always bring the unique taste of sweet and tangy to every meal. Known for their zesty flavor and pungent scent, they release chemicals that can irritate our eyes when chopped. Despite the tears, it does not stop us from adding them to our favorite dishes. This delicious vegetable is packed with nutrients and brings bold flavor to salads, soups, meat, and seafood dishes.

The geographic origin of the onion is unknown due to its ancestor plant, the wild onion, being extinct. However, its use and cultivation go as far back as the Bronze Age of civilization. Ancient records exist of their cultivation in Western and Eastern civilizations, as far back as 5000 BCE. Onions were especially valued for their flavor, long shelf, and use in herbal and traditional medicine. Known as the bulb onion or common onion, it has a papery skin covering a shiny bulb with a notable strong smell.

The more well-known variety of onions come in three basic colors: yellow, red, and white. Yellow onions, or brown onions, referred to as red in some European countries, have a strong flavor due to the high sulfur content. They also have quercetin, a bitter flavored flavanol used as an ingredient in beverages and foods. About 90% of the onions grown in the United States are yellow onions. They are used to make French onion soup, sautéed dishes, and shish kebabs. When caramelized, they turn dark brown, giving a savory flavor.

Red onions, known as purple onions in Europe, are brightly colored with red-purplish skin and white flesh. Generally eaten raw or lightly cooked, red onions are often used to garnish salads. Their reddish skins add a pop of color and sharp taste to a sea of leafy green vegetables. They have a mild to sweet flavor and are higher in fiber and flavonoids when compared to yellow and white onions.

White onions have a sweet and mild taste and are considered a staple food in Mexican cuisine. They are golden brown when sautéed. Small white onions, known as boiler onions, are used in soups, stews, casseroles, and salads. There is also a certain type of white onion known as a sweet onion. Its low sulfur and high-water content make it less smelly and milder than other onions. Moreover, you will not cry when you cut them!

There are other types of vegetables that belong to the onion family, such as leeks, chives, shallots, and spring onions. Because they have long, thin green shoots, most people do not associate them with bulb-shaped onions. Green onion, or scallions, also belong to this family. Processed forms of onions are available such as onion powder and dried minced onions. These can be a great substitute for when there is no time for cutting. Onion salt, a mixture of salt and ground onion powder, is also a quick way to add flavor to any meat or vegetable dish.

Onions are mentioned in the Quran as one of the many delicious vegetables requested by the Children of Israel.

“And [recall] when you said, “O Moses, we can never endure one [kind of] food. So call upon your Lord to bring forth for us from the earth its green herbs and its cucumbers and its garlic and its lentils and its onions. “…” (Al-Baqarah 2:61)

Onions are tasty, but they cause smelly breath, which can be bothersome to your fellow worshippers at the mosque. Therefore, the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him [PBUH]), encourages us to avoid attending the mosque after eating onions. Of course, some simple dental hygiene can combat this problem. Some toothpaste and mouthwash go a long way! Narrated Mu’awiyah ibn Qurrah: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) forbade these two plants (i.e. garlic and onions), and he said: He who eats them should not come near our mosque. If it is necessary to eat them, make them dead by cooking, that is, onions and garlic.—Sunan Abi Dawud, Book 27, Hadith 3818. Cooking to death, a phrase still used in culinary culture, means cooking them for a long period. Your friends, family, and your fellow worshippers at the mosque will appreciate it.

Health benefits of onions

Onions have many health benefits. One medium-sized onion has 44 calories. “Onions are super-healthy,” says Victoria Jarzabkowski, a nutritionist with the Fitness Institute of Texas at the University of Texas at Austin. “They are excellent sources of vitamin C, sulfuric compounds, flavonoids, and phytochemicals.” Vitamin C helps regulate our immunity, tissue repair, and iron absorption. Vitamin C is also an antioxidant, a compound that helps prevent damage caused by free radicals or harmful molecules. They also contain Vitamin B, including folate (B9) and pyridoxine (B6), and potassium. Vitamin B promotes metabolism, red blood cell production, and nerve function. Potassium is good for cardiovascular health, bone strength, and muscle strength.

Want to know how to avoid “onion eyes?” Cutting onions in a small pool of water can help keep the gases from contacting your eyes. Cutting the onion near running water, using a fan, or opening a window for a fresh source of air also helps. Refrigerating the onions before use reduces the enzyme reaction rate. In addition, the more one exposes themselves to cutting onions, the less tears there will be.

  *****

Kelly Izdihar Crosby is an artist and editorial assistant living in Atlanta, GA.

Reprinted from the Fall 2019 issue of Halal Consumer© magazine.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Feminine Mystique

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Skinny/No-Curves!Reader

Summary: Steve’s usual run took a turn he did not expect and gave him some scenery he’ll never forget. 

Word Count: 2,728 - One Shot

Warnings: Not smut, but a little sexy? IDFK

Bucky sipped on his coffee as he stared at Steve.

“Are you sick?” He asked.

“No.”

“Did you hit your head?” Bucky continued.

“No.”

“Did someone brainwash you?” Bucky smirked.

Steve glared at him. “No.”

“It’s almost dinner time and you’re going on a run. This isn’t your schedule.” Bucky accused him playfully.

“Jeez, Bucky, leave him alone.” Nat defended the poor man.

Steve gave her a grateful look before putting in his headphones and leaving the kitchen.

As soon as he left, Bucky’s playfulness disappeared and he shared a concerned look with Nat.

“He’s been out of it since our last mission.” Nat observed.

Bucky nodded, “I know.”

Steve told himself he wasn’t going to stop running until he was exhausted. Which, unfortunately for him, meant sprinting a literal marathon.

Despite being a city boy, Steve had grown to love the forests surrounding the compound in upstate New York.

In fact, after running 12 miles, he got so sick of his music that he just let himself listen to the nature around him. It made him feel more attached, more ingrained in the world around him. He tried to deny the fact that it also made him feel less lonely.

He must have ran himself into a new area, because Steve found himself unable to recognize the terrain around him. He’d easily find his way back to the compound. So he wasn’t worried about it. But now his senses were focused on observing everything around him.

Steve slowed to stop when he came upon a lake.

The sun was just beginning to set and the lighting made Steve wish he had his sketchbook to try and capture the scenery. He felt like he had walked into a fantasy world.

Steve walked to the edge of the water, where smooth pebbles substituted as sand. But his entire body tensed when he saw something move in the water just yards in front of him.

It was too big for it to be a fish. And its movements were far too mammal like.

Steve’s heart drummed in his chest. Could it be a mermaid?

With all the strange things he’d seen and experienced in the world, Steve doesn’t think he’d be all that shocked to know they existed to some degree.

But then their body straightened out and Steve realized it was a woman swimming.

Except it wasn’t just any woman… it was Y/N.

Steve had always possessed a hidden interest in her. She was newer to the team, wasn’t shy but also didn’t go out of her way to be best friends with everyone. But she was always kind when anyone talked to her. Steve caught himself staring at her on multiple occasions. Lucky for him, he was discrete about it and knew that Y/N was oblivious to his longful gazes.

Now, Steve’s mouth went dry when he realized Y/N was swimming naked in the lake before him. He knew he should leave, to disappear before she knew he was some creepy voyeur. But his legs decided to stop moving. He felt like he was glued in place.

Y/N had swam behind a collection of rocks that acted as a natural pier.

Suddenly she was climbing out of the water, lifting herself up with a grace that almost looked like a dance.

It was like time had slowed down.

Steve knew he should look away. But the artist in him was hypnotized to taking in every little detail of her body. He noted how a steam billowed off her skin since the air had gone brisk in the late afternoon. Her hair was slicked back so perfectly as if it was meant to only sit in water.

But then he noticed the line of her body. It was straighter than other women. Less curves, but somehow sturdier almost. Her breasts were small and her hips narrow. The muscles were evident from her training and she looked strong, despite her smaller frame. She didn’t look like the beautiful women in renaissance paintings. But she reminded Steve of the women in the 1920s that he found beautiful when he was just a little boy. He found himself imagining her in a flapper dress, the style seeming to be made for her body.

Despite the less feminine style of her figure, Steve felt desire awaken in him. He already knew he found Y/N beautiful. But he never imagined he’d get to see all of her like this.

Y/N looked like a siren that was sent to drag him into the water. If she really was, Steve had no doubt that he would follow her and happily drown to his death.

Steve found himself holding his breath as Y/N rung out the water from her y/h/c hair.

But then she finally seemed to sense that someone was watching her.

Y/N looked up quickly and her eyes widened when they spotted Steve.

She stood taller, from the fright. Steve could hear her gasp from where he was standing, yards away, and could see her chest heaving. She looked like a deer eyeing a hunter, who had his gun already loaded and pointed at her.

Steve took a step forward, “Wait! I’m sor-”

But it was too late.

Y/N disappeared.

She was a teleporter, giving her the power to travel across the world in the blink of an eye. It made her a deadly opponent in the field. And with all of her new combat training from various Avengers, she would soon be one of earth’s strongest heroes.

Steve swore under his breath.

How the hell was he supposed to explain himself?

He’d been watching her like some disgusting voyeur.

Steve rubbed his face and groaned. He sees the teammate, who he’s had a crush on for months, naked and it could not have been under worse circumstances.

Steve ran back to the compound twice as fast.

Part of it was to rush back to find Y/N and explain himself. But there was another part of him that needed to burn off the sudden burst of testosterone coursing through his blood stream. He was only human. Maybe he should take a cold shower before he found Y/N too.

He did just that, water still dripping from his hair as he walked to Y/N’s personal quarters.

But when Steve got there, her door was ajar and she was nowhere to be found inside.

For the next two weeks, Steve didn’t see even a glimpse of Y/N.

A few times, he swore he heard the sound of her teleportation right before he walked into the room. It was hard not to believe that she was avoiding him.

------

After 3 weeks, Steve became frustrated. If he ever had a shot with Y/N before (which Steve doubted), there was no way he had one now.

“Nat, have you seen Y/N lately?” Steve finally sighed in absolute exhaustion.

It was just him, Nat, and Bucky in the kitchen.

“I always see her around. Why do you ask?”

Steve rubbed his face and swore under his breath. Nat’s answer just further proved that Y/N was avoiding Steve.

Nat read Steve’s body language and shared a looked with Bucky.

“What’s happened?” She asked him.

Steve looked at the two of them, trying to figure out if he wanted to tell the two of them what had happened between him and Y/N.

“Come on, Steve. You can tell us.” Bucky encouraged gently.

Steve sighed again and nodded slowly, “When I went running that night a few weeks ago, I found a lake I’d never seen before. And… ugh… Y/N was there. And she was …um… she was swimming - naked. And I saw her. And…she saw me there. And-And… yeah.”

“Oh, no.” Nat breathed.

Steve’s heart raced. “What? What is it?” He asked quickly.

“This isn’t good.” She added.

“Can you stop being so god damn mysterious and explain?” Bucky snapped. He couldn’t help it when he was watching Steve’s face go pale. The poor man looked like he was going to be sick.

Nat rolled her eyes at their stupidity. Men.

“Have the two of you ever realized you’ve never seen Y/N in so much of a bathing suit?” She tested.

Both men went through their memory, trying to find what Nat was pointing out.

“Can you remember Y/N ever joining team pool parties or even just laying out with me or Wanda?” Nat pushed further.

Realization settled over Steve’s features. He had never seen Y/N in a bathing suit. Furthermore, he had never even seen her with just a sports bra on. It was normal for the female agents or Nat to overheat and forgo a t-shirt, deciding just to train in leggings or shorts and a sports bra. In fact, Y/N never even wore a fitted shirt. No matter how hot the gym got, Y/N was always wearing a baggy sweatshirt of some sort.

“Okay…” Bucky said carefully. “So what are you saying?”

Nat pinched the bridge of her nose, frustrated with the two men.

“Y/N is very self-conscious about her body. She’s a confident person in pretty much every other aspect. But when it comes to her body image, it’s not good.” She explained.

“She’s told you this?” Steve asked.

“She doesn’t have to.” Nat shrugged. “I read the signs.”

“Is that a girl thing?” Bucky joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Steve ignored him. “So… you’re saying Y/N doesn’t think she’s beautiful?”

“Beautiful, sexy, cute…No, she doesn’t, at least not physically.” Nat affirmed.

To Steve’s surprise, hearing that made him livid. How could anyone let Y/N believe she wasn’t any of those things? Y/N had always seemed like the whole package to Steve. So much so that he didn’t even think he was good enough for her.

Now Steve realized Y/N didn’t think she was good enough for anyone. And that was utterly ridiculous to Steve.

“You saw Y/N at her most vulnerable and she’s probably embarrassed,” Nat continued as she was oblivious to Steve’s internal monologue. “Probably doesn’t help that she has a crush on you…” She added quietly, fully aware of what she was doing.

Steve’s head snapped. “What?”

“Yeah, what?” Bucky joined in.

Nat smirked, knowing they had no idea.

Steve was frustrated then.

“Nat…what do I do?”

Who was he kidding? Steve knew he was terrible with women. He had no game. He could barely talk about his own feelings, let alone read those of others.

————

Nat knocked on Y/N’s door. She knew that Y/N thought Steve was on a mission. Nat had specifically planted a false conversation in the kitchen to make sure Y/N assumed so.

“Y/N, it’s Nat. Can you open up for a second?”

The door quickly opened.

“What’s up, Nat?”

Little did Y/N, Steve was standing to the side, hidden from sight.

Nat smiled. “Please, don’t teleport. Someone needs to talk to you. I’m sorry, but it needs to happen.”

Y/N’s face scrunched in confusion and then Steve moved into her line of vision.

“You two need to talk.” Nat called over her shoulder before walking away.

Y/N glared after her, not appreciating being manipulated.

“I don’t mean to ambush you like this, but I didn’t know what else to do. You’re a hard woman to find sometimes.” Steve said gently, trying to add a side smirk.

Y/N wouldn’t even look him in the eye. She just shifted her weight. Everything in her body language told Steve that she wanted this conversation to be over and for him to go away.

“Can I - Can I come in?” Steve asked.

“Ugh…sure.” She answered awkwardly before disappearing into the room and leaving the door to be shut by him.

Silence filled the room.

“I’ve been looking for you for weeks now.” Steve teased lightly. It didn’t land well. “Y/N, I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I acted very…ugh… dishonorably. I shouldn’t have gawked at you like that. I invaded your privacy and I’m really sorry.”

Finally Y/N looked up at him with a playfulness in her eyes. “‘Dishonorably’?” She laughed. “Jesus, I feel like I’m in a Jane Austen novel.”

The sound of her laugh saved Steve. It was exactly what he needed.

Y/N went back to looking uncomfortable. “Steve, I really just want to act like it never happened, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just…um…real embarrassed.” She admitted with a blush as her fingers ran through her hair.

“I understand.” Steve nodded. “Can I just say one thing and then I’ll never bring it up again?”

Y/N winced, “Fine.”

Steve took in a deep breath, “I think you’re beautiful.” He blurted out.

Y/N’s eyes widened and she shook her head slightly. This was not what she thought he was going to say.

“And sexy.” Steve added with the reddest blush Y/N had ever seen. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “God, I can’t believe I’m saying this to you.” But he carried on. “I wanted to leave and be respectful that day. But you - you mesmerized me. So I just thought you should know… that you’re beautiful.”

Y/N opened your mouth to speak, but no words could find their way out.

Steve reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

“I…ugh…couldn’t get you out of my head. I don’t think it’s right for me to keep it. But I also didn’t have the heart to rip it up. So take it.” Steve handed her the paper, “Please.”

Y/N slowly grabbed the paper and unfolded it.

Sketched onto it was her, just like she had been at the lake that day. Steve’s artistic skills were evident. But what was even more evident was how beautiful the artist found his subject.

Y/N’s jaw dropped at it.

Steve just nodded slowly and waved goodbye awkwardly with his hand before escaping.

He left Y/N stunned in silence.

————

Sometimes, on a day off, Steve liked to sketch and drink coffee on one of the compound’s many balconies. It was always as the sun was rising. The rest of the team was never up this early; sometimes Bucky, sometimes Tony (but only because he never actually went to bed).  

Steve smirked when he heard the soft sound that alerted Y/N’s teleportation entrance. Only him and Bucky seemed to be able to hear it. Even then, she still snuck up on the super-soldiers.

Y/N sat down in the chair next to him and took in the morning view.

Steve didn’t say anything, just kept sketching.

“I’ve never felt feminine. I don’t have curves…don’t have a womanly body. I know there’s so much more to me than my figure. But sometimes… it’s nice to feel beautiful or even…i don’t know…seductive?”

Steve turned to look at her, but remained quiet.

Then she thought about something and the ridiculousness of it made her laugh. “I envy Nat and how she has this mysterious power over men.” She shrugged. “But that’s her and I’m me. And that’s just never how I’ll look.”

Y/N finally looked up at Steve with soft eyes.

“Your drawing…No one’s-” She paused to gather the right words. “A man’s never looked at me like that. I saw it in your drawing. And it weirdly made me feel like… a woman.” She smiled sadly at him. “So I just wanted to thank you.”

Y/N didn’t expect him to say anything. So she slowly got up to leave him in peace once again.

“Wait!” Steve shot up from his seat, scared she was about to teleport.

“Yes.” Y/N answered before he could say anything more. “If you were about to ask me out…my answer is yes.” Then she broke into the most beautiful smile. “But if you weren’t about to ask me out, then this is going to be so fucking awkward…”

“I was!” Steve blurted out again. Then he chuckled as the moment caught up with him. “I was going to ask you out.” He repeated more calmly.

“Good.” Y/N smiled even brighter.

“Dinner?” Steve asked. “Tonight?”

---------

I always get nervous when I make the reader more detailed and specific. I know it sucks when the physical description doesn’t fit certain readers. But this has been bouncing around in my head and it’s very near and dear to me. So I had to do it.