#or be drowning in pussy
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dxsertrot · 1 year ago
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Being a woman solely attracted to women sucks actually. We are genuinely a statistical anomaly. Literally I am constantly making the first move and get nothing lol. Why are women actually such pussies who take zero initiative and expect you to do all the work and then don't even follow through when you do.....:)
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willgrahamscock · 5 months ago
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Why was Will asleep by 8pm? so he can have wet dreams about his therapist? slut.
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ivymarquis · 4 months ago
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Something something you’re talking to a friend who says something cringe/embarrassing/etc and say “Kate Laswell herself couldn’t waterboard that information out of me” and lo and behold who is behind you but none other than the woman the myth the legend herself
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ash-and-starlight · 1 year ago
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Every Day i think about the official radiant emperor Fuck Tier List
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bumblydumbly · 1 month ago
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Crazy how people buy into the ‘Vander and Vi hero, Silco and Jinx villain’ thing like the writers didnt try so hard to tell you its not even close to being that simple
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thetragicallynerdy · 7 months ago
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i am once again drowning in fictional pussy
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track-maniac · 2 days ago
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Gender update: Version 2 finally out of private beta!
Major changes:
Agender, as in no fucks given. Call me a pretty boy, handsome girl, whatever.
Any pronouns. You cannot misgender me in a way that matters.
Keeping the cis guy presentation for now, it's not like i have enough time for that anyway
Minor changes:
Not coming out IRL but i will be dropping hints for those who are there to pick them up (non-binary colors and such)
Miscellaneous:
This may only be a phase. And couldn't land on a wording that was subtle yet explicit enough not to be misunderstood so yes what i'm saying is that i might realize i'm trans later. Not yet though.
Special thanks to the people who chatted about gender with me:
@the-dandy-liar @rust-official @i-love-linux-and-reject-gender @vim-artisan
Plus @alix86-64 for a single, very useful comment, and @retropieos-official for just being excited about it (that means a lot too)
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mascxdaddy · 8 months ago
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it's officially no longer my birthday but as a late present i need someone to sit on my face please and thank you
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crustaceousfaggot · 4 months ago
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M*A*S*H is a show about a bunch of deeply average looking men with the most kind and beautiful eyes you've ever seen.
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aztecbrujeria · 9 months ago
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HAVE ALL YOU SEEN DADDY!!! FUUUCK THE WAY I WANNA BODYSLAM THIS MAN WITH MY COOCHIE AND SUFFOCATE HIM!!!
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cheesecakeislazy · 4 months ago
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So I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, because it’s summer and I’m an insomniac. When suddenly, I had a horny little idea. If you guys don’t like horny stuff- my next post won’t be horny <3
(FYI THIS SHIT IS HORNY AS FUCK AND IS NOT MEANT FOR CHILDREN!!)
Grinding For EXP
A F!Reader x BEN Smut
There he was. Your boyfriend. In all his glory. Just.. sitting there. BEN hasn’t moved in a while.. at this point, you were so used to him gaming all the time you didn’t really bother registering what game he was playing. All you do know is that BEN was currently grinding for some EXP.
Normally you would just do whatever you wanted to do, but right now? You really don’t know what got into you… he just looked so goddamn adorable sitting there. Listening to his small angry grunts, watching as his nose scrunched up, his ears twitching sharply every so often, he had his tongue stuck out just a little bit..
Of course, you always thought BeN was adorable- he’s your boyfriend for gods sake. Yet something inside of you needed to be fed. Like a deep desire to be touched! Oh…
It hit you like a truck.
You were horny for your boyfriend. You supposed that it made sense, the two of you haven’t been intimate for a while.. and also- who wouldn’t wanna be finger-fucked by a guy that knew how to move his hands at the speed of light? It took BeN a little to learn how to please you, but once he got the basic understanding of the whole ordeal, he was a master at the craft.
“UGH!! F-FUCKING SPAWNS T-TAKE-TAKING AGES!!” BEN’s loud yell brought you back to Earth, you figured that you didn’t just wanna ask him to fuck you. No no, that was too boring. You were gonna do it the fun way~
“Hey, Baby?” You slowly walked up behind bEN, it seems as if he had honestly forgotten that you were in the same room as he jumped lightly.
“Huh-? OH! S-Sorry.. W-Was I-I too loud? Am-Am I being.. an annoyance?” BEN always assumed the worst, the normal part of your brain wanted to give him a hug and tell him how amazing he was- Meanwhile the horny part of your brain wanted to show him how amazing he was by sucking his dick..
“No! Of course not, Baby! I just saw that you were getting pretty mad about…” You looked over at the screen, he was mad about Undertale spawns? Ah… genocide.. that checks out. “Your little genocide run, so I decided to come over and help you relax! Could I… sit in your lap?”
BEn looked like he was about to faint right then and there, the cutie got so red in the face..
“A-Ah.. Of Course!! Anything for you, Babes!” BEN shifted his blankets around so you could sit on his lap comfortably. You have him a quick thanks as you made yourself comfortable.
After a few minutes of small talk, cuddles, and watching him play- you decided that you were bored and were gonna put your plan into action. At first, it just looked like you were trying to shift your position to get more comfortable. However.. you kept doing it.. over and over again.. BEns got a dirty mind, of course he thought you were teasing him, but he tried to ignore it in case you weren’t.
You were honestly starting to get annoyed, you’ve been subtly grinding on him for nearly 10 minutes! He had a boner, you knew that for certain, but he was trying really hard to muffle his whines- and he has actually succeeding this time! That was it. You’re done with trying to be subtle! You’re gonna be foward!
This time, it was obvious that you were grinding on him, you noticed that BeN was gripping the controller pretty tightly. So.. you grinded on him harder and harder until..
“A-Ah~ Baby.. M-Maybe you-you should-shouldn’t move s-so much..”
Ben looked like he wanted to die, he loved you- but when he was submissive, he was a submissive bitch.
But you didn’t fear God, so you turned around in his lap in order to face him directly. You stared into his eyes as you ground your hips into his hard-on, causing him to let out a much louder yelp of pleasure as you continued.
BEN realized where this was going and paused the game, setting the controller down in order to grab your hips as you grinded into him.
You were honestly having a lot of fun just watching his eyes roll into the back of his head, his lips parted as he pants desperately for you, occasionally bucking his hips upwards into yours in an attempt to get more pleasure out of the experience.
If you were being completely honest, you totally would’ve been perfectly fine with just grinding on him all night long- but before you could tease him any further, he grabbed your wrist and within seconds had you pinned to the sofa. From how he was acting, you assumed you were going to be the one on top- but clearly.. BEN had different plans.
“Baby.. as m-much as I-I love-love it when you tea-tease me.. it’s not fair! Having s-such a beautiful wom-woman on top of me.. m-moving her h-hips like a-a goddess? No.. I can’t be having my p-per-perfect darling do something w-where she does all the work!” BEN stared lovingly into your eyes, it was almost hypnotic…
BEN carefully began grinding his cock into you, both of you still fully clothed. He began biting and licking your neck, leaving love-bites and hickeys everywhere. Carefully, he began removing your top, staring at your chest. BEN never really cared that much about a girls chest, but yours? Holy moly.. to him, your chest was a masterpiece that needed to be marked as his.
This time, BEN wasn’t as gentle as he bite and sucked at your breasts. Bite marks and hickeys covering your breasts and neck, you knew this night would be a long one.. and you couldn’t wait for it to really begin. BEN began to kiss down your body, licking and biting your sensitive spots as he began removing your pants. As soon as he saw the giant wet spot soaking through your panties, he practically moaned in delight.
“Baby~! Ah~ Is this-this all because of- of me~? You’re so.. adorable~” Ben said as he pressed two fingers against your cunt, causing you to flinch and let out a quick yelp of pleasure. Taking his sweet ass time, Ben removed your panties. Spreading your legs wide open as soon as they were long gone, now placed haphazardly somewhere on the floor.
BEN admired your soaking wet entrance as he licked his lips, just to be safe, he looked up at you for approval. You, of course, nodded your head at him as quickly as you could possibly do. BEN removed his shirt and tossed it somewhere in his room, before bending over and taking a quick lick between your folds. You squealed in delight, smooshing his head between your thighs. Ben adored eating you out, you always acted adorable as he did it. Not only that, but you tasted like perfection~!
Nearly as soon as BEN got a taste, he couldn’t stop. BEN began to eat you out like it was the first meal he’s had in years; sucking your clit and teasing it with his tongue, kissing your entrance and shoving his tongue inside, fucking you with his tongue as his nose prodded at your clit. You were a fucking mess, you had BeN trapped between your thighs as he ate you out, moaning out his name so loud you were certain the entire mansion could hear you. And the thought of that turned you on so much more~
BEN could hear your moans getting more frantic as your thighs clenched around his head even tighter, you were getting close to cumming. BEN somehow managed to speed up just a little bit more, moaning into your core as he grinded his clothed dick into the sofa. Everything he did just made you tip over the edge until you finally saw stars and squirted all over BeN’s face. You were still recovering from your orgasm as BEN removed his sweatpants and boxers- his cock leaking precum from how badly it begged to fuck you. And you were more than happy to let him pound you like you were some toy of his.
BEN kissed you gently on the lips, once again asking if you wanted him, he always asked for consent. You nodded, speaking a verbal yes to scare away any of his possible fears. BEN nodded at you, his ears extremely tinted pink as they twitched. His ears twitched more and more as he slowly began to enter your core. The sound of his cock entering you sounded like something out of a porno, a factoid that made BeN so fucking horny for you in that very moment, more so than he already was.
Like always, BEN started off slow, slow yet deep thrusts that made you whimper and beg for more. BEN grabbed your thighs and held them up as he began to thrust faster and faster. Your mind fell blank and filled up with a lustful fog as his cock filled you up, perfectly hitting the spot in your body that makes you let out almost animalistic moans and whines.
BEN’s bedroom echoed with the sounds of your moans, his heavy panting and whimpers, and the sound of his skin slapping against yours.
Ben moved one of his thumbs closer to your clit, rubbing gentle yet harsh circles. Bringing you so much closer to your orgasm, you loudly moaned his name, your walls tightly clenching his cock, as if to milk him dry of his inevitable orgasm.
BEN fucked you faster and harder as he felt his cock twitch inside you, he was going to cum soon- but he has to make sure you came before he did. Rubbing your clit even faster and he spoke showers of praises to you. You let out a musical of moans and whimpers as your pussy clenched around him again, cumming and creaming all over his cock.
The feeling of your orgasm on him made BEN go into the deepend, thrusting even faster as he chased after his orgasm- harshly biting your neck as he made you cry with pleasure and overstimulation.
Finally, BEN came inside you with a loud moan and flopped on top of you. Holding you close as the both of you tried to catch your breathes.
The two of you sat in comfortable, loving silence..
Until suddenly BEN bucked his hips into you again.
This was going to be.. an amazing night~
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tpup · 2 months ago
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was going to say something about married woman perineum and went to check if there's a different term
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sadgoonette · 2 months ago
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I have had to change 3 times today because I have had a puddle between my thighs.
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sen-su-a-li-ty · 2 months ago
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I am spending this weekend in a lake house and I wish I could swim 😂
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teddybeartoji · 3 months ago
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PHOBIA OF SEAWEED IS AN ACTUAL THING?????????????????? you see i am not afraid of the open waters nor am i scared of the things that live there,, like i regularly spend time watching deep sea videos i think they're so cool but oh my fucking god the idea of KELP IS MAKING ME LIKE ACTUALLY TWITCH EEEEEEEEUUUUUUUGHHH okok actually looking at it is kind of fine but the thought of it touching my feet is genuinely making me wanna throw up😭😭😭😭😭
#this is such a stupid thing bc sometimes it's fine#i live by the ocean i am a fish i have seen seaweed i have touched seaweed but it's different when you grab it on purpose compared to it#just randomly touching you#DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE#OMFG I'M GONNA SPIRAL#like once i thought i was gonna drown#mickey lore time#we were paddleboarding with my family and then me and my brother got off it and we started swimming to the shore and like we're both very#good swimmers so this was nothing insane aaand there were no waves or anything and my parents were still close by#but then at one point i was like oh i wonder how deep this actually is and i went under and i tried to touch the ground and sEAAWEEEDDDDD#EEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FEEL SICK JUST THINKING ABT ITTT#and it freaked me out so fucking bad and then i suddenly felt so tired and i just wanted to get out but i was still far away and i couldn't#stop thinking abt how it's gonna touch my feet again lmao#and i was very very very close to a panic attack in the water😭😭#oops#anyway i survived and i never told anybody i thought i was gonna drown bc i am not a pussy like that whewwwww#also. when i played subnautica (i only played for a few hours) i was more afraid of the fuckass kelp forest than anything else😭😭😭#i started thinking abt this bc i saw a video of a man in this dark scary cave (????) and like it was fine i was super intrigued until he pu#his fucking foot on the rock and you can just see the layer of seaweed i almost jumped out of my bed FUUCKKK THATTT
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amourtoken · 5 months ago
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No bc I do think waking up to Will with his arms around my thighs lazily eating me out would fix every single problem in my life forever. No rush, he's done when he wants to be.
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