#or at least my aegosexual flag

[cleaverqueer]

OK ive only redesigned a flag once before, and this one was kinda simple but?

Maybe aegosexual flag :) flag colors meanings in order are

Ace flag purple: Community Blue: Fantasy Ace flag grey: disconnect between fantasy and the self, also grey area between asexuality and sexuality Pink: the self Amber: Choice, especially choosing the betterment of ones self over others

i might mess around with the saturation a little bit but i like it much better than that triangle bullshit

[the-s1lly-corner]

Which of the creepypastas would be okay with an asexual s/o?

Creepypastas w/ an ace!reader!

yahoo!! sorry for taking so long to get to this!! i kinda had a small lil slump for a few days but im back!! sorry for any typos or if these seem... bllluguuguh!!! im still trying to get through that lil slump so my brains still a lil... boo!!! obligatory these are with characters that i think would be compatible with an ace reader so this isnt going to follow my base/go to list of characters! a lot of these are going to dip into admins experience as someone on the ace spectrum (asexual/aegosexual!) reader is written as vague ace identity but like. mostly involved to be ace. admittedly this leans more into most of this being ace hcs since i think for the most part they dont care/dont find issue with your identity

Characters: Slenderman, Trenderman, Eyeless Jack, Masky

CWs: mentions of sex but like. nothing too bad mostly just vague sex drives and that sort of thing, really!

Slenderman;

honestly i think he might be on the ace spectrum, or maybe thats because i dont think he really knows what sex /is/

okay well he does know what it is but he only understands it on a surface level, but otherwise he doesnt really care much for it in an everyday setting

yeah i think hes on the spectrum; i also think he might be on the aro spectrum!

only really initiates intimacy if you want it (reminder that not all aces dont have sex! attraction stuff is the main thing) but otherwise i would write him the same way as i do with a non-asexual reader!

extra headannon since his is kinda short but really hes probably the most supportive out of any creepypasta simply because i like to write him as this entity that doesnt interact much with others but is still. curious. this man does not know what lgbtphobia is (and thinks its dumb when he does find out!)

Trenderman;

very similar with slenderman but more in tuned with identity stuff and things like that

personally i hc him to be greysexual, or demisexual! i think trender is like. the only one out of the 3 brothers (that i claim) that i dont see being ready to get down and dirty? like unlike slender he KNOWS what it is and understands attraction and all that but just doesnt. feel it

so he gets it! he interacts with people more than slender but like. not openly, i mean like not as himsef?! this is kind of a side tangent but i like to think that slender beings can create false human bodies and trender is the main one who uses it

anyways! im kind of getting off topic

he understands the stigma and hate ace people can get so out of the four characters today i think he would be the most likely to offer an ear when youre getting flack

i wish i had more for trender as well but this is genuinely the first time ive written for him so im still all OWOWOOOUGH!! with how i wanna portray him

speaking of i need to do like a catch up post for him, and some other characters so i might do that soon^^

Eyeless Jack;

okay so! the two above characters are fine with it because theyre on the spectrum above but i feel like eyeless jack just outright doesnt care if your ace or not since he has a fairly low sex drive 99% of the time

sappy man, one of those "i prefer people based on their personality rather than their looks" but not in the "im so deep for this and im lying through my teeth" way i (personally) see people say (school was ROUGH man) but in a "im literally turning into a monster my skin is fucking blue and starting to rot i have no place to say anything" way

anyways

he adores you so so much and he really feels like he doesnt deserve you, bro could not care

probably tries to find flowers around his cabin that make up the ace flag/which ever flag you use

though im not sure how many grey flowers there are... hes trying his best!

Masky;

similar to eyeless jack he has a low sex drive imo so it isnt too much of a big deal to him, plus i think hes graysexual? at least i feel like he would if he knew about the label

i think asides slender and trender, he doesnt know much about this sort of thing so youre probably going to explain it to him

he mostly gets it! he gets things mixed up but hes trying his best!

overall supportive bf!! probably steals a pride pin from somewhere (dont ask)

imagine he grabs the wrong pin/j

wweoeoeohh! i hope this post is okay! admittedly i wasnt sure how this was going to turn out since, as stated above, i feel that a lot of the characters wouldnt mind/are on the spectrum themselves im not gonna lie this couldve been better but im so out of it rn that my brain is all scattered n stuff :( regardless i hope this is sufficient, and once again im so sorry for the wait TToTT

[nora-murphysblog]

I'm going to be honest.

I always knew I was bisexual. When I was little I was allowed to watch two and half men. Where they had pretty ladies. And I didn't think the women were lucky but Charlie. (The main character of the show) But I didn't really know sex. But I know making out. And it was people who weren't me. One was either intersex or trans. And a lady. (I didn't know what a dick was at the time so I never had my brain show me that but I knew) I think now looking back that's when I was Aegosexual and bisexual

I had this friend in middle school she was a lesbian and so pretty with her ginger hair. When she told me that she had a crush on me I didn't know how to respond. I didn't come out yet and was "straight"

I started questioning my sexuality when I dated a guy. But I didn't want to say I was while I was in a relationship with a guy. Because I think he was pansexual but also homophobic. (I should have never dated him.)

I tried telling my best friend without saying anything and that was showing a picture of making the bisexual flag in a landscape

(the artist is Lavendertowne)

When my sister asked if I was straight I always just said "yeah" but deep down I felt like a part of me was lying to one of my closest sisters.

As I was trying to tell my family this beautiful trans guy. Told me they had a crush on me. Now I have a resting bitch face. And I can sometimes be rude but I try to keep quiet. They say they're scared of women. But they still told me... They started to be persistent and kept asking me out. I turned them down. But after a while I couldn't resist he's beautiful hazel eyes. And I nodded in the lunch room. But I knew I couldn't come home and tell my mom I got into a relationship with a girl (at that time those were the pronouns)

So I had to tell my mom I was bisexual my sibling/best friend wanted to come out as trans. So on leap day. We both posted on Facebook. I went to school and I had to keep my phone in my locker or give it to my teacher. When the day ended I checked my comments on my Facebook post. My aunt told me that she's proud of me and she has a girlfriend too. One of my sisters was high so they just put a shocked emoji. And others of my siblings supportive me and told me they were proud of me coming out. But... My mom didn't comment on it which kinda hurts. She's the only parent I have left and she couldn't at least like the post? I know she saw it too.

When I got home she wanted to go to the Texas Roadhouse because of the song and my dad hated it. But he passed too soon. So we went there for him. My mom asked me "hey Nor, do you want to bring your friend with us?" Talking about my partner. So she saw it and didn't like it or commented on it and called my partner my friend. It just kinda hurt a little...

The post btw

And then while dating my partner. I realize I'm Aegosexual. I just want to gather enough courage to tell them in person but I don't know when I'll see them again. So I told them through text. And then right after I told my best friend/sister and it's basically in their words "you get horny but don't want to have sex" which it's kinda like that. But after I told them... They stopped holding my hand and stopped giving me kisses. He also stopped making sexual jokes with me which I don't mind when they do it because they're my partner but my sister makes jokes about me licking their y'know what. And ask my questions like "you're still a virgin right?" and it kinda makes me uncomfortable... But I don't feel the need to tell her because it's not important to her. It's different from saying I'm bisexual. But the only reason I told my best friend is because they tell me everything so I tell them everything besides one thing. I'll tell them it when I'm ready.

So I don't care about what pronouns people use for me. Which would be the gender fluid if I'm not mistaken. But my sister gets so mad that I accidentally call them "they" or "them" because my sister was nonbinary and I started calling everyone they/them. But they/them pronouns are their for everyone.

Would it be weird if I asked for a bisexual flag, Aegosexual flag and a gender fluid flag for my birthday?

[corelliaxdreaming]

I really did mean to make at least one decent post for Ace Week, but it got away from me. Oops. Anyway, I love all my acespec siblings. Here’s a quick, random graphic of the acespec flags I identify with. Left: asexual, nonlibidoist. Right: aegosexual, aroace. (I also like the acespec flag, but I couldn’t get the graphic to look decent with five.)

[beanbeansson]

hi!

i’m bean :)

if you actually wanna know stuff about me then it’s under the cut, otherwise have a nice time on my blog

i’m aroace, and specifically aegosexual and something very similar to bellusromantic but i don’t like that word much for some reason (i’m working on it)

usually i’m an ISTJ, but the last time i took the test it was one letter different, but i forgot which so i’m going ISTJ (if you want me to retake the test i can)

i’m a brit, and i hate my country :) somehow i will still defend it at all costs. it’s a british thing you wouldn’t understand

i will literally be reblogging any random posts i like / think someone i know would like, i’m not organised enough to have more than one blog lol

fandoms i’m active in and some other bits and bobs i really liked are as follows (i’m gonna add more to this list)

tv shows

good omens - dead boy detectives - doctor who - gilmore girls - our flag means death - the umbrella academy - ATLA (not the new one) and TLOK

tv shows i’m currently watching

brooklyn 99 - classic doctor who - the office (us)

films

the princess bride - bohemian rhapsody - rocketman - mamma mia! - moulin rouge! - submarine - monty python movies - little women - dead poet’s society

musicals

hamilton - hadestown - moulin rouge! - mamma mia! - rocketman (yes there is movie crossover here) - EPIC: the musical - something rotten! - falsettos - dear evan hansen - cabaret - little shop of horrors

music

queen - david bowie - elton john - the beatles - general classic rock tbh

other things

agatha christie books & movies & the tv series - greek mythology - random classic literature - shakespeare plays - various uk quiz and panel shows

if you’ve made it this far you’re legally obliged to send me an ask telling me your favourite number

most posts and or reblogs will be dw, go, and dbda, plus aroace stuff, but i would be delighted to talk about literally anything

also if you tag me in anything i will love you forever no matter what it is

fuck the government (though at least it’s not the bloody tories now)

fuck the patriarchy

fuck war (a blanket statement to include every war that has and will happen)

free gaza

fuck neil gaiman

ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon, i thank you for your time

:)

[8golden-harvest8]

more of my kins with my flags, alt. Aegosexual flag(s) edition!

now featuring Ephemer cuz I got him in the existential khux character uquiz (where I got Ven and Strelitzia) and it called me out-

alt. flag

alt. & current flag mix

honestly I love both of these flags and their colors, I wished we used them more- (I love the more used flag too but it can look too similar to the ace flag, plus it’s nice to have different colors-)

Feel free to use them as long as you credit me or at least don’t claim them as your own work!

[sameore]

Here is the sex repulsed flag, represented by Pumpkie.

After creating the Aegosexual and the Asexual flags, I decided to go with this one too, as sex-repulsiveness happens to be a major part of my (a)sexuality! ☝🏻

While I tend to think my orientation may be very dualistic (contradictory) in certain points, I have yet to admit... I shall also consider this one aspect.

And not gonna lie, I sometimes feel like it's something complicated to deal with in society. (Just think for example, I usually have a hard time with couples kissing in front of me or being very tactile... alongside, some things might actually make me sick, or experience a feeling of trauma)

And, don't get me wrong, I know sex is natural (many will just use this argument: "Idc, sex is natural!")

Just as much as defecating or vomitting! Yet, it doesn't necessarily mean one wants to be exposed to this (at least in real life).

-

Another part seems to include aegosexuality for other reasons, and you can also find these two GIFs that go with it.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to understand my personal functioning, I guess.

[thefourfan]

Well at least the Latin American dub knows what I am :3

The English release must've had one hell of the time trying to censor my queerness XD

I have a massive pride flag in my room, I have a pretty large collection of pride pins, I'm currently in a queer relationship and was in another queer relationship before my current partner, I have clothing with queer messages on it, and I've had crushes on girls since I was in 1st grade.

(I'm a non-binary aegosexual lesbian for reference)

Have you ever wondered whether or not you’d be canonically queer if your life was a story? Look no further. This quiz will tell you your canon queer status. 

[concubuck]

((I got an ask with an IC part and an OOC part and I have a reasonable short answer for the IC part and a whole-ass essay for the OOC part lmao, so I decided to separate the OOC part into a post by itself:

Anonymous said: ((Fun fact this blog actually did crack at least one ace egg that I know of, because they're hypersexual so they didn't think they could be ace until they saw how your Alastor experiences being ace))

((oh SHIT seriously?? 😭 That means a lot to me, really. I love writing about Alastor's asexuality in a whole lot of different variations and exploring it from a lot of different angles, and it always gets me in the heart when an ace tells me that they related to something or that it helped them figure something out.

Honestly I expected less of that on this blog, since it's really at one of the extreme ends of the potential for asexuality. I see this blog as a semi-fantasy take on things—bc yes, it IS possible to be both hypersexual and asexual, but for human reasons, not for Weird Made-Up Succubus Biological Needs reasons—so it's a pleasant & touching surprise that it resonates with someone that much!

Many of the people whose eggs I've inadvertently cracked with various Alastor writings have told me they didn't previously think they could be ace because they did/thought/felt XYZ. For me personally, I took several years longer than I should've to figure out I was ace because I like masturbating and I like thinking about/reading/looking at/getting off to kinky shit, so clearly can't be ace right, lmao. (... and if THAT description resonates with anyone reading this, I recommend googling the term "aegosexual".)

So I'm gonna throw something in here that I could've used hearing a half decade earlier than I got it, in case it helps someone else: whether or not you're ace has nothing to do with what you do, or what you like doing, or your libido, or how you feel about having sex—all of those can vary wildly. It's got to do with how you experience (or don't experience) sexual attraction/desire toward people. That attraction is rooted on a far lower level than your behavior and is only one of the factors that'll affect it. Hell, it's even possible to feel attraction and still be ace, that's what gray- and demi-ace are for. That's why the flag's got a gray stripe.

As I write Alastor on this blog, he also believes he can't (currently) be ace. And I, the god toying with his life for my amusement, think that he's definitely ace, three fucks a day and all.))

[ayy-spec]

Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

·  to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me  (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

·  :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

·  i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way. 

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

[polyjql]

I’m really starting to believe that I’m a sexual person who just identifies as ace because sex proved unsatisfying and ultimately dull and awkward. I don’t think that’s something I ever intended to happen, but it’s what I think has happened. I am not sexually attracted to people because I have no reason to be sexually attracted to people, sex has been worse than nothing in my life.

But I still have fantasies, and those fantasies include myself so I don’t think aegosexual really fits (does it?). I get urges to flirt with people I am involved with because of them. I just choose not to because I know at the end of the day when we’re face to face and it isn’t a fantasy anymore, the arousal will vanish. And I think now, that’s probably because I get faced with the reality of what sex is for me, not because it’s my orientation.

I don’t know what to do about this. I want to keep using asexual as a label, at least for now. It’s been a shield that protects me from too much judgement, too many prying questions. It’s been a quick way to throw up a flag on dating profiles that I’m not into sex and not likely to be any time soon. It’s been a personal identity for the longest time and I don’t think I’m ready emotionally to let go of it yet.

[bisexualbaker]

A breakdown of my flags:

Bisexual pride flag: This one has possibly the strongest tie to my identity (see Tumblr handle); I like it okay, but I think most of us have seen the Purple Discussion before (the purple in the flag is a bit too dull on computer monitors, at the very least)

Genderflux: I like it! Nice range of colors. I did mistake the color of the gray stripe for lavender for a good while, though, to the point where I crocheted something with a lavender stripe instead of gray 😅

Asexual and Aromantic: Very nice; I've always been fond of black plus white plus other color, and the addition of gray in no way harms the balance for me

Aroace: Fun! Lots of potential! Good use of contrasting colors! Difficult to find the right shades of orange in my preferred yarn, though

Genderqueer: As with the Bi Pride flag, the green and purple are not my favorite shades

Queer: Lovely; I just have to reliably remember that it's cream and not white 😅

Aegosexual: (AKA, how Aroace Bi is not a contradiction.) Listen, I've got nothing against the colors, as seen above, but the geometric design is uh. I just. Feel like it's a bit of a headache to properly convert into crafts and/or visual arts. How exactly do I crochet that as an adorable flying piggy? How do I distinguish it from the standard Ace Pride flag if I just go by color-picking? At least demisexual and gray ace have slight color variations... Not a bad flag in theory, but difficult to do much with (and the sudden visual change is a bit visually jarring for me, TBH)

Polyamorous: I like the Molly W version a lot! The original one, uh, less so. At least they're both fairly easy to adapt for crafts?

Flag envy:

The Pan Pride flag: Look at those colors! So bright! So cheery! Such a good combination! Delightful in art! But not quite me 😩

The Inclusive Lesbian flag: Such a pleasing color combination! Such an elegant order! Love the meaning behind the color choices as well, and the association with flowers/plants. Also happens to match my list of favorite colors as a child almost exactly 😂 From my recited list of "Pink and purple, green and yellow, gold and silver!", it's only missing the last two.

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

Personal Masterpost 2017 #2

So my last Personal Masterpost is from February 2017, now it's almost June and almost my 18th birthday (I won't tell you the date, just pretend it doesn't happen).

So here it is, my life and all about my queer self discovery which partly to be found here - main parts are copied from the last "Personal Masterpost 2017". If you are interested in hearing more about myself (my battle with bullying and depression) I can post that on my private blog, I feel that doesn't belong here.

The typical “growing up asexual” doesn’t apply to me.
I always thought I was bisexual as soon as I had learned the term… because… Girls? Boys?
I was repulsed by either genitalia until the age of roughly 14… but let’s start from the… well, start. I, like many aces, also had a journey of IDing bisexual at first… when I was around 12 I had made a really good female friend and by now (almost 18 y/o) we are even closer and get physical (platonically) sometimes. By then she was pretty stuck in her mothers perception of how the world has to be and I introduced her to terms like bisexuality and shocked her as I told her I once dreamed about kissing her. She said it was cool with her as long as I didn’t actually kiss her because she didn’t want to kiss anyone and despite not being stiff any more (I have to pat my own shoulder here, I shocked her enough to get her freaky like me) she hasn’t had any crushes or so on. So I shoved it back into my mind that I was probably bisexual and only had crushes on guys and her. Now that I am further educated on stuff like platonic love and also Squishes and queer platonic relationships I can tell and in fact told her that's how I feel. She is the platonic love of my life and knows by now, she even felt bad about rejecting me (I am just happy she still stays with me after all the trouble I caused her).

I was nervous around some dudes, I was excited and seen from my perspective now that was only because NO ONE wanted contact with me except for some individuums. As I went on my gender-journey (I discovered the term genderfluid on “have a gay day” on FB, looked it up and came to terms with genderqueerness and non-binary genders; by now I go mostly by just enby/genderqueer even tho I am rather neutrois/agender but solarian/male aligned) I also started a LDR (around age 14) with a person who introduced me to practical sex for the first time, even tho I was “used” to smutty fanfictions (reading and writing - this is important later on) by the time already.

I only afterwards was told and recognised for myself how many many characteristics of an abusive relationship applied to the way they treated me.
I was repulsed by either genitalia until the age of roughly 15… I had this partner at that time and grew to overcome this repulsion. We were together for over a year as they asked me to finally have sex, I was a virgin, was excited and we had “starting problems”. I think me being overly excited because of my first relationship and being overwhelmed by the new experiences was why I didn’t realise I didn’t finde them attractive. In that way. Idk if really never found them sexually appealing but it makes sense and explains why I was extremely shy even after it wasn’t that new to me. So you see, especially at young age (who am I to judge with my 18 years) you easily confuse sexual and romantic attraction. I didn’t even know you can split those two up!!

And I only knew about homo-, hetero- and bisexuality at the age of 15 so I figured I must be bi because I felt men and women were equally sexy… not at all to be exact.
 Asexual and Aromantic spectrum identities were literally the latest I discovered!
I knew about pan, poly, heteroflexible etc. since last year (2016, age 16/17) and only discovered the actual/correct definition of asexuality over tumblr recently.
 Partly because of the “BBC Sherlock”-Fandom and the main character being pretty much canonly ace, same goes for Castiel from “Supernatural“. 
I figured being asexual November 2016… and already since February I suppose I am in fact grey-biromantic, at least since my relationship ended…


»THIS might help someone so I’ll add it at this point: I don’t find anyone sexually attractive (might be still figuring this out so I stick to greysexual) but I am “attracted” to the sex-memories, so to say…?
 Like… I would consider having sex again because a person and sex with them are good memories and I associate positive feelings and enjoyment with them/the sex…« Reading this again months after originally writing it is funny…

By now I KNOW I am aegosexual (aka. autochorissexual) and therefore feel a disconnection between myself and the object/action causing my arousal.

To put this into simpler terms: I am asexual and prefer sex-fantasies/memories over actual sex! I like sex but prefer to be not involved; comes in handy that I ship a lot of stuff and therefor never run low on "material". I sometimes am ashamed that my sexual orientation is basically "asexual who is attracted to written Erotica/Smut" but well… I can deal with it. I am settled with being a greyromantic aegosexual despite the fact it's unlikely I'll come out as such anywhere but closed Facebook-groups and Tumblr.

I found out how huge the ace-umbrella actually is and that you can describe so many orientations.
I know that might not be necessary but to me personally it’s a good, a warm feeling to share a flag with other people. 
Like… flags always mean you are connected in some way, may it be national or political or from some organisations/clubs. And it’s a good feeling to know I am not alone.
It’s good to be not alone and to have a point/person/page to turn to and I wish you all the best and hope you find happiness as you are. Self-discovering is a journey you might not know when it ends, but every step towards your true self is a good step, a powerful step in the right direction.

[zarathelonewolf]

Thanks for writing this. I don't know what else to say aside from the fact that I have read this and I am feeling reassured by it, and a few considerations.

I have felt doubts in regards to the aegosexual label, but I don't think it fits me all too well.

I think the cupioromantic and cupiosexual labels could be beneficial to me, and also really inconvenient at the same time. That's because while adding these labels to my identity could help me feel more validated, I fear that It may make It impossible for me to find a partner. There's pretty much no queer people (out of the closet anyway) around me, no alloaro that understands the terms I use. I fear It may make me look like a "snowflake", unapproachable.

I have considered queerplatonic relationships, but I have heard that sex isn't supposed to be a component, and from others, I have read that romance isn't a component either. They are both things I want though: just because I don't feel romantic attraction or sexual attraction all the time doesn't mean I don't want It, that's my situation. Maybe I've heard wrong things about QPRs, though. From what you have written, this seems likely.

I've never even gone to pride events. But if I present myself as aroace, the tendency of people around me could be the opposite of what I want: they could avoid trying to date me. So maybe adding cupioromantic and cupiosexual Is the way to go. Still afraid of coming off as "attention seeker".

...I said I didn't know what else to say but I am proving myself wrong. I always open up to strangers on Tumblr, but I never manage in real life. Not in a way that feels meaningful. I've always thoughts that people around me have better people to talk to, people that don't give a shit about the stuff I give a shit about, which Is to say social issues. I think they see me as a party pooper, or stupid, or "not all there".

Still, at least I can talk to people on Tumblr. I hope I find someone one day that I can actually meet face to face and share a life with.

Thanks you for the kind words.

Foxy says hi!

EDIT: maybe I should add the Italian flag to my prophile too... And the romanian one.

Me when the

✨Aroaceflux✨

hits

( which is all the fucking time)

Romance cool! Sex cool! I want romance! I like the way that guy looks! I wanna kiss that guy so bad! I want a boyfriend! I want that guy as boyfriend! Wait, do I want sex? No, I only want cuddles now that I think of It, I want him to only cuddle me... Or do I? Wait a minute hold on... I do want romance though! But I don't feel the romance right now... Wait I do! Wait I... Don't? Nah nah I do feel romance right NOW, but do I have to buy him bouquets? I hope he understands that I really don't want sex today and tomorrow (maybe the whole week), I'm kinda scared of doing stuff like that with someone else now... Or am I, wait, Is the want for sex back up? Yep it is, lucky me, one less turbulence to deal with! There's too much turbulence anyway though, what the fuck...

Here, Imagine this bullshit in my brain and body throughout the day. I could feel attraction one hour and feel completely different for two hours after that and then go back to feeling it. Below are the specifics of my experience, if anyone cares...

I fluctuate between feeling romantic attraction and not doing so. When I don't feel It, though, I remain romance neutral or favorable, mostly the latter, and I use my platonic attraction to fuel the bond. That means that I should likely end up in a relationship with someone that fluctuates like me, or someone who wants to be my best friend and romantic partner interchangeably. When I feel romantic attraction, being polykin I prefer to express it with animalistic behaviours like rubbing/bumping foreheads together, bumping my head on someone's shoulder, "laughing" like an excited fox and stuff, which can cause disconnect (in a "would anyone actually want a freak like me" scenario). I also want to express myself like this with friends, but in a romantic relationship I would also feel like kissing the person.

My romantic fluctuations are more frequent than the sexual ones. I don't feel sexual attraction often, and I feel romantic attraction often.

I fluctuate between feeling sexual attraction and not doing so. I don't feel sexual attraction most of the time. When I don't feel It, I am either sex positive or something I like to call "real life sex repulsed", because I still can consume sexual content even while repulsed, given that I am alone; if it manifests itself, my repulsion only concerns actual real life sex with another person, or watching R rated stuff with someone close to me. I can also get animalistic when I feel sexual attraction, the behaviours are similar to the romantic/platonic ones but have more intensity; rubbing against a body with my whole body is another sexual behaviour, to which sounds are added. I feel like kissing the person in a lot of places, and even biting them and nibbling soflty. However these urges are muted when my sexual attraction Is absent.

To wrap things up, the "fluctuation" of sexual attraction manifests itself as a spike in sexual attraction and then prolonged periods of abscence of sexual attraction, in which I am moslty sex positive.

I often feel fearful of being a "fake" asexual and aromantic person, but It Is clear to me that I don't experience attraction the same way that alloaro peeps do. When I see an aesthetically pleasing person I feel strong platonic and sensual attraction, sometimes romantic, but never sexual; sexual attraction CAN happen if I have spoken more with the person, but it still fluctuates even then, which is why I don't use the demisexual and demiromantic labels.

It doesn't help that I have a high libido, and that when my sexual attraction is absent, which is very very often, I feel sex favourable a lot of the time and not sex repulsed; sex repulsion is as rare as sexual attraction in me. I am also kinky, I would like a d/s relationship one day with me being the sub.

I feel like I don't fit with alloaro people because if I were in a relationship with one, maybe they could feel inadequate because I don't feel sexual attraction for them, even though I would be willing to have sex anyway because sex looks fun and I like the idea a lot; and even if they accept that, what would happen if I entered a sex repulsed phase at one point of being together? I am scared that finding an alloaro partner physically pleasing and trusting them more than anyone else may not be enough for them. Also my fox behaviours are something that I have been taught are improper, and beastly (derogative), I feel dirty for them (my fox soul cries rn).

On the other hand I often hear aroace people speaking of being sex repulsed and sex neutral, romance repulsed and romance neutral, of not wanting a romantic and/or sexual relationship, and I feel exluded and fake because that is not how I feel most of the time. I am afraid that I am not aroace, actually.

At this point I would simply like to be in a relationship with a very affectionate aroace person on the greyaromantic or greysexual spectrum, but is it wrong of me to want that? Should I also add cupioromantic and cupiosexual to my identity, to avoid misconceptions?

I feel hopeless, like I'll never find someone that can love me as much as I love them. Someone to cuddle with, someone to kiss, someone to rub against and play with. Someone to be my companion.

Sorry, just needed to vent. If anyone wants to write something, scold me, idk, just go for it.