#or am i just gonna watch it and rant to my sister and then forget about it as usual
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#pickle pontificates#girl help is the lilyorcharddungeonmeshi video gonna be what finally drives me to make a video essay now that school's over#or am i just gonna watch it and rant to my sister and then forget about it as usual#OR am i gonna decide to be normal and not watch things i know are gonna make me mad#i barely know anything about The Discourse surrounding her and i do not care#i just know i saw the steven universe video and another one awhile back and i kept watching because i was hoping in good faith#that there would be A Point#but there never was#it's just a really weird anger and vitriol and attempt to justify not liking something by arguing that it's bad#and a stubborn insistence on analyzing the separate parts of a thing without even attempting to see whether there's anything#in how the parts fit together. like that's media analysis 101. you see what's there. you see how it fits together. you interpret it#you turn it around and play with the interpretations#you try to figure out what the author was trying to convey and then you look at what you got out of it and what others got out of it#you acknowledge that stuff can be good and you can still hate it. or you acknowledge that stuff can be bad and you can still like it#and you acknowledge that sometimes stuff is just neutral and may have different effects on different people#not just ''raaaaaagh this character did bad things and is therefore bad and irredeemable and there is no other option''#newsflash babe. most characters are like that#and like. i acknowledge that there may be ragebait at play here#but i do like engaging with weirdo opinions sometimes because it gives me a chance to articulate my own feelings and investigate why#i feel that way#but i do have to be careful to make sure i'm not just getting off on being mad and falling down the hole for no reason so. we'll see#edit: i remember what it was now it was the writing tips video#it's the weird black and white there's only one way to do art and i'm right about it all the time attitude
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loveinhawkins · 7 months ago
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was this written to solve my own inconsistencies because i keep forgetting Eddie literally hotwired the RV, they don’t need keys, why do you keep mentioning keys, you fool? maybe. do i also think they’d be this stupid? yes. ❤️
“Oh, son of a bitch,” Dustin says, midway to The War Zone.
Steve, who is used to this sort of outburst for things as mild as Dustin forgetting just one out of the eight pens on his person, does not react.
However Eddie—Hellfire rants aside—is not quite as familiar yet. He jumps practically a foot in the air.
“Jesus Christ, what now?”
All Dustin offers by way of explanation is an accusatory, “You,” pointing his finger right in Eddie’s face.
And then Eddie sees what’s dangling from said finger.
“… Oh.”
“What?” Steve says, glancing at the rearview mirror; Eddie quickly blocks Dustin from view, goes right up on his tiptoes and spreads his arms wide, curses when Dustin throws the keys—
—to Max, who catches them one-handed, who gives Eddie a grin that’s not so much pitying as it is evil, and then she—
—throws them to Lucas, and he somehow gets the metal ring to land on his finger, like he’s in a movie, and he twirls them round and round until Max snorts, and he grins like that had been his aim all along.
“Sinclair,” Eddie says, “I am begging you.”
“I’m not hearing much about what’s in it for him,” Erica says.
Aha! Eddie zeroes in on Erica and blocks her from Lucas, like a very unjust game of Keep Away.
“Dude,” Lucas says, affronted, “that’s not fair.”
Eddie has the decency to look a bit ashamed. Not too ashamed to stop because he is a pathetic man, but at least Steve still hasn’t noticed the—
“Lucas,” Erica says, in the aggrieved tones of a sister who’s despaired at him many, many times. “You’re on the basketball team. Just do a pass fake, nerd.”
Lucas feigns to the left, and Eddie falls for it—but, in what he’s sure is a completely unsportsmanlike move, he uses his height to his advantage, jumps…
And drops the keys with a clatter.
Steve must instantly recognise the sound for what it is, because he starts to cackle.
Eddie’s only saving grace is that Steve is driving, so at least he can’t see—
“Eddie’s going, like, super red in the face right now,” Dustin narrates helpfully.
“Scarlet,” Lucas says.
“Vermillion,” Robin pipes up from the floor.
“Ooh,” Dustin, Lucas, and Max chorus, impressed. Jesus Christ, they almost harmonize.
“Yeah, Eddie,” Steve says dryly, “you fucking moron. How did you miss those, it’s not like you had literally anything else on your mind.”
“You’re a real gentleman, Harrington, anyone ever told you that?” Eddie says weakly.
“Maybe once or twice,” Steve says, drawing it out teasingly, as if he means not often enough.
“Well, at least we got on the road,” Nancy says. Her voice quivers like she’s trying not to laugh—perched on the table, eyes shining with amusement. “And it did look pretty cool, Eddie.”
Eddie thinks this is an incredibly generous assessment, considering his main thought while breaking into the RV had been don’t get stuck in the window, Jesus Christ.
And then… like, he didn’t expect Steve to actually come up and watch him hotwire the damn thing, like, with rapt attention, so close that Eddie was kinda concerned he’d electrocute himself instead. Honestly, it was a miracle he got the engine started.
“That’s sweet of you, Wheeler, but I’m self-aware.”
“Since when?” Erica says.
Underneath everyone’s laughter, Steve grins and says, “Hey, don’t worry, man.” He catches Eddie’s eye in the rearview mirror, winks. “It was an educational experience.”
“Oh, wow, your face is even redder.”
“Henderson, I’m gonna put those goddamn keys so far up your ass.”
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slytherinshua · 1 year ago
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i'm not really one for new years or rly doing anything for it, but i thought i should at least thank all my friends who have made this year infinitely better for me. i'm ngl, this year was really hard in many ways. it felt like me and my family particularly were hit with new things to deal with as soon as the old ones had ended, and we just desperately wanted a break.
my way of getting a break was talking to you all, writing my silly little delusions, and being able to have a space here to share my work. so thank you. whether you were a silent reader, liked, reblogged, followed, or gave feedback for my writing-- all of you have helped me so much this year. the love that my writing has received has given me such motivation to keep going and to keep trying, and i don't think i would've otherwise.
now to thank my lovely friends, who without, i wouldn't be here today :( in no particular order...
@aravrs,, @kyrjnie,, @nyukyujs,, @etherealyoungk,, @rubywonu,, @kyeomyun,, @idubiluv,, @minholing,, @welcometomyoasis,, @dinotoro,, @wonijinjin,, @hannieheartuu,, @mangocustard16,, @amara-mars,, @glosskirt i don't like putting you all together because each of you mean so much to me individually, but i was worried i was gonna forget some of you especially since i don't talk to you guys as much </3 i love each and every one of you, and you have made 2023 such a fun year for me since i was able to talk to you all!! thank you for wanting to be moots with me and for talking to me, talking with you has been so fun and comforting this year <3 cheers to 2024 🫡
@blue-jisungs axe you were one of my first moots ever, and the first blog i followed. we became friends last year but i feel like we became so much closer this year. we watched kdramas together, spammed and ranted to each other, fed each other brainrot and delusions, and just generally enjoyed each others company :( i cannot see my life without you in it, you are so so so important to me now and i want to cry whenever i think about how amazing it is to have you as one of my best friends. i love you more than you know <3
@fairyhaos yena! you were one of the first blogs that i saw and went "woah" bcuz ur writing has always been so amazing. i seriously love it so much, i'll never get sick of it. once i got to know you as a person, i realized that you're even more amazing than your writing is. you're fun and kind and sweet and caring-- thank you so much for being my friend this year and i can't wait to make more memories with you next year 🫡
@weird-bookworm sky you are truly one of my closest friends. we've spent so much time talking and i've enjoyed every second of it. i feel like we have a unique dynamic cause unlike my other friends, we're constantly teasing and bullying in each other in the best of ways <3 in a weird way, the fact that i still know someone who is as big an army as i used to be is comforting. you feel like nostalgia-- like the old me in 2021. and even tho ur older by a bit, you feel like a younger sister to me sometimes skdjsk i really love you a lot, thank you for being my friend this year!!
@haecien cien my only guy friend 👹 talking to you has been especially fun this year. introducing you to the new loves of ur life, listening to you scream about minghao, harua, seungwoo, hyunjae, shin and gaon, playing stardew valley, and sharing some nostalgia from the philippines is all so comforting to me <3 i love u so much and i hope that i can find some more guys to add to ur loml list in 2024 🤞
@kkooongie sarah!! we've talked quite a bit since we met, and it's always been so fun and nice to talk to someone who is as much of a multi as i am <3 finding someone who also stans groups like victon and verivery is extremely hard??? and i'm so happy that there's someone out there who loves silly little nugu kpop men just like me <3 i love you a lot, and i hope you never forget that 🫶
@evalevaeva eva.... ur just incredible to me sometimes?? from writing the best fuma delusions to stressing out abt ur auditions (don't go to cube istg) talking to you has always been so fun!! i'm still so glad that you reblogged that one so mun fic, otherwise i would've never found your blog or talked to you </3 the sieun delusions are real and stan lucy for a better life 🤞 you always make me laugh and smile so much, and i hope i do too cause otherwise that would be a little awkward... 🧍‍♀️ PLS I HOPE IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES OUR FRIENDSHIP 👎
@caramel-maveeato viv </3 my wife fr 🥹 whether it was screaming about the men i love the most to dying over your art or fics, you've always been someone who was always comfortable to talk to. i just love talking to you so much its so therapeutic??? stop rizzing me up tho it must stop before i go insane 🙅‍♀️🚫 no more rizzing in 2024 okay 👹 i hope we talk a lot more and stay as close as we are now bcuz talking to you has always been one of my favorite things to do, i love you so much 💖
@candewlsy mizu my baby </3 I LOVE U SO MUCH LIKE PLS PLS PLS KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE U IM GONNA SCREAM I WANNA SQUISH U?? what. ur just so fun and silly and comforting and I LOVE U AND UR HUMOUR 🥹 i love how you allow me to introduce you to new kpop men and actors, and how you love them just as much as me!! you're just as delulu and slightly deranged as i am AND THATS WHAT MAKES IT FUN 😭 i love watching kdramas with you, and i hope we can finally get through our list of kdramas to watch in 2024 cause its getting l o n g e r 🧍‍♀️ thank you also for reblogging my fics bcuz ur reblogs have to be some of my favorites ever </3 they're so fun and entertaining to read, i always end up giggling :(
@wheeboo rania :( i know i usually bully you and you bully me back, the whole divorced wives things but idk i'm feeling a little emo rn so i'm just gonna be appreciative?? i know we have talked recently, but it feels like we haven't talked enough since before christmas cause i've been busy and you've been busy... and idk i've just felt that void a bit?? talking to you has always been so fun and relaxing, and it's guaranteed to make me smile and laugh and just be an escape from anything i've been thinking about. watching k-dramas and having little music sessions were some of my absolute favorite memories of this year. it's just so special that I can call you one of my best friends, and i hope that i can continue to talk to you for years to come because you're one of the most comforting people i've ever met. not to mention that you write like an absolute goddess?? i still remember proofreading psycho for the first time and just being so shocked bcuz how does anyone even write like that????? i love that i'm ur little go-to for fic spoilers pls don't ever replace me or i'll cry 🧍‍♀️ and whenever i'm struggling with a fic, i always go to you as well <3 i can't express how much i love you and how much you mean to-- words just aren't enough 😭 i'll never get tired of talking to you
@eternalgyu i saved you for last cause i know this is gonna be a long ass paragraph.... ppl are gonna be dying to scroll past this so i wanted to make sure u were at the end. saving the best for last yk 🫡 hannie you have changed my life. like from the day i met you my life was completely changed. it felt like i had finally found my missing puzzle piece?? the best friend that i never had was finally in my life. and my life has never been the same since. everyday when i wake up, i text you. my brain is just "hannie hannie hannie hannie hannie hannie" that's all it is now. when you weren't able to text me for 3 days, i felt like my world had stopped. i couldn't think about anything else, i couldn't sleep. at this point, i need you to live. i need you to be able to function. you are the reason i kept writing. you are the reason im alive. and you will always be my favorite person on this entire earth. i'd choose you over everyone and everything in a heartbeat. it's not even a question at this point, but i know the answer is gonna be you every time. i know this isn't an accurate number of the messages i've send to you, but just on discord, in 2023, i've sent you 183,422 messages. i'm sure ive sent thousands on instagram, and hundreds on other social media too. if you ever stop talking to me, i'll literally find u. LIKE U CANT EVER LEAVE ME CAUSE UR STUCK WITH ME FOR THE REST OF TIME >:( i'll start sending you daily emails pretending to be car insurance or smth like idk ill think of smth... anything to keep you as my best best friend for eternity. i know i say that i don't believe soulmates exist, because the idea of romantic soulmates is a little too fantastical for my realist mind. but since meeting you, i can say for certain that platonic soulmates do exist. we fit together so perfectly, i couldn't imagine anyone else as my best friend.
i remember one time before i met you, i tried to make an irl friend here and my dad said "i hope that you'll find your diana". obviously they didn't end up being your diana, but it's fine. because i did find my diana. you are my diana, and i am your anne. if i could spend the rest of my life talking to you, it'll still not be enough, so please keep talking to me in heaven or something.... the beomgyu to my taehyun, the jeonghan to my joshua, the sejun to my subin, the hoyoung to my gyehyeon, the wyatt to my yuto, the anton to my sohee, the taesan to my jaehyun, the yechan to my wonsang, the chanhee to my changmin, the jeongin to my seungmin, the moonbin to my rocky, the jo to my yuma, the jake to my jungwon, the theo to my jongseob, the taehyung to my hobi, the hwiyoung to my hwiyoung (what), THE HWIYOUNG TO MY DAWON (there we go), THE TAEYANG TO MY HWIYOUNG (even better), the jihoon to my minhyun, my one and only hannie. i love you more than anyone and anything. even though we're so different, we work so well together. we have different biases, and different habits. different religions and different plans for our lives. but we both have plans to meet each other, and i know it'll happen eventually. my life won't be complete until i can run up to you at the airport and give you the biggest hug. i'll probably start crying when that happens since i'm crying just think about it. i won't let go of the hug for maybe 5 minutes because i need to make up for all the hours spent that i couldn't give you a hug. i don't usually like hugs, but giving you one is all that i want to do. there's been so many times where i wished i could hug you. whenever you're struggling or feel depressed, whenever you feel hopeless and lost and uncared for and unloved and overlooked. i just want to hug you when i hear about them, because even though i don't know how to help you in those times, even when i don't have the solution, i know a hug would make things just a little better. when we eventually get ourselves a little apartment with a couple of cats, you can always come to me for a hug when you feel down. i'll bake you some brownies or cookies and we'll watch some kdramas together. we'll reminisce to old kpop songs from our childhood (like... srr SUGAR RUSH USH SUGAR RUSH USH SUGAR RUSH USH UH) and we'll eventually be old porch grandma's still bopping to txt's emo songs. i'll spend my teen years with you, and my adult years with you, and when i'm old and wrinkly, i hope you're still by my side. cause i don't want anyone else as my best friend. only you. pls don't cry while reading this cause ik you might AND I DIDNT MAKE THIS W THE INTENTION OF MAKING U CRY BUT LIKE IT MIGHT HAPPEN..... i rly rly love you. seriously. i love you so much. every memory i've made with you in 2023 is precious, and i know we'll make millions more in the years to come. please stay my best friend for the rest of time, because i'm never going to get sick of you. i love you the most, i hope you know that <3 i hope this is a good paragraph cause i forgot everything i wrote at this point, i don't really plan to write this much but whenever it comes to writing an appreciation for you, i always have more to say. you're my favorite person in the entire world, so ofc i would never run out of words to describe how much you mean to me. please be happy in 2024 and talk to me a lot <3 we'll meet each other for real soon and share a long hug together. until that day, let's continue how we are 🫶
happy new year to you all!! i hope 2024 is filled with love and joy and happiness <3 i love you all very much!! - zanna
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nishloves · 1 year ago
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hey nish, so here is my ask for the match. thank you again, hope its not a bother!
i am an intj and more of an introvert. i can adapt well depending on my interlocutors and can be really shy as well as extremely outgoing. i love staying outside in the comfort of my house but also like hanging out with my friends even if i loose my energy pretty quickly. i am usually described as someone with a rather calm aura but the moment im really comfortable i am rather crazy lmao. i tend to lose focus quickly, ramble a lot (and forget to whom i said what) and can’t see for shit. i am a lazy perfectionist who hates things being done incorrectly but i want them being done quickly. i can be seen as arrogant but im a huge overthinker. I hate showing my feelings and have a hard time accepting my failures. since im always the youngest in my different friend groups, people tend to baby me which is really advantageous.
regarding my hobbies, i do ballet and modern jazz for more than fifteen years and it’s an art and sport that i am really dedicated to, creating choreographies and being kind of a scary mentor when i want to even if i like being like a big sister » so the youngest (im one of the oldest now). i also used to play tennis but outside those sports, i hate physical activities. i love manual activities such as making jewelleries, embroidery, crochet, drawing silly doodles and painting (even if i can’t wait until it is completely dry). i like reading (esp criminal novels) and love animes (my fav are haikyuu, hxh, fullmetal alchemist and bsd). id like to watch kdrama but i dont have enough time and can’t stay focused for so long anyways.
i am a sucker for light and dark academia and you’ll find me most of the time with velvet pants or oversize jeans and a pullover. finally, if i had to choose only five svt songs, it’d be 24h, home run, i don’t know, fallin’ flowers and hot.
thank you so much, i hope i didn’t ramble too much. love you!
hehe not at all! i loved reading all of it <3
when I read intj, i immediately thought about jun/hao/wonwoo but when I read it further, i thought that you might suit joshua more. but!!! when I read about the ballet portion, i just couldn't help thinking about dino!
so i match you with, wonwoo!
he is one of the most considerate individuals I've ever seen, he would be able to differentiate between your moods and energy levels and take care of you whenever you're out; it's like— he can just understand if you're drained or anything and would politely excuse you both from the gathering if he feels as if you're getting overwhelmed.
he would keep you grounded— scold you when you're wrong and empathise with you when you just want to rant. kind of like a very sturdy shoulder to cry on and your biggest motivation for any project.
he would absolutely love your calm-crazy dynamic, he loves it whenever you're so happy that your calm demeanor of an intj morphs into something more childlike and adorable. he also likes the fact that you have "maknae" tendencies, and would absolutely adore it.
he's not a perfectionist per se, but he has friends who are and rest assured that he will do his absolute best to help you take a break/ break your overthinking thoughts and help you get rational again. (vice versa)
you'd think that having a few hobbies to share might be a problem but it actually isn't; wonwoo is very happy whenever you're doing what you love and it makes him want to engage in your hobby with you. you both push each other to step out of your comfort zones and try out different things <3
and god, if you ever make him a bracelet, or crochet a small keyring for him, he's gonna treasure it; I think he might cry in secret too 😭
he also likes the fact that you don't like physical activities because then he doesn't have to do it, you both would probably spend your days cuddling or trying out each other's hobbies or cheering each other on!
he would be your biggest hypeman for your ballet and jazz music <3
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what-gs-watching · 1 year ago
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“It’s Christmas time, pretty baby, and the snow is falling on the ground…”
Well, now I’m in the interview prep portion of the bootcamp thing I’m doing and y’all, I don’t loveeee trying to practice talking about my experience. I really am one of those people that just shows up and says whatever tumbles out of my mouth and that has worked, so far, mostly, I guess. But apparently now I need to really try and that is a bummer. 
But it’s November, which means I have carte blanche to throw myself into the Christmas season. Gang, I love Christmas. I really do. I have a big family and it was always a fucking mess at my parents’ house but it makes me feel cozy and warm and so every year the Saturday before Thanksgiving I drag my husband to the tree farm because we have to have a real tree, and by the time we’re eating turkey, my entire house is decked out and it’s time for CHRISTMAS MOVIES.
I started this blog because I had been rambling at my engineering team at the time about my complete and utter obsession with Good Omens and I’d described my “What G’s Watching” game. One of the engineers said he’d absolutely read this trifling mess, and we had talked about Christmas movies, I forget why, and he said he could imagine curling up with a cup of tea and reading my rant on said movies. It was part of what ultimately convinced me to do this stupid thing, obviously.
So Kevin, if you’re out there, this is for you.
Welcome to my ultimate list of basic bitch Christmas movies (OTHER than the typical ones, we don’t need to talk through those do we?) you can stream this season. All previously released, because we’re gonna have to talk about the new ones  as they come. You’re welcome.
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The Christmas Chronicles (2 movies, Netflix)
KURT RUSSELL is Santa and he’s caught by a brother and a sister  while delivering presents and they end up going on a crazy adventure to save Christmas after something obviously goes wrong. 
YOU GUYS, IT’S KURT RUSSELL AS SANTA. That should be enough for you. Because he is literally the PERFECT Santa Claus and I will defend that ‘til the end. The beard is perfect! And he plays Santa like a super cool badass! And there’s a fucking musical number!!!!!!! 
The first one is better than the second one, but the second one is still fun and has GOLDIE HAWN as Mrs. Claus and it’s so cute I could literally die. 
I straight up love Christmas Chronicles and I don’t care who knows it. It has the right amount of emotion and it reminds me of being a kid kind of and really, we’ve always needed a COOL santa. I have no idea why I’m so obsessed with Kurt Russell in this situation, but I really, really am. Absolutely no shame here.
WATCH IT.
A Christmas Prince (3 movies, Netflix)
A prince of a made-up country needs to return home before Christmas Eve so he can assume the throne after his father died, and a wanna-be reporter of a magazine? I think? Is assigned to cover the story.  She pretends to be the new nanny for the family and OBVIOUSLY hijinks ensue. Obviously.
Y’all, there are three movies in this series. They made THREE of them. And they’re all ridiculous. But also kinda charming. Like, something to put on while you wrap presents and then you find yourself, like, halfway through the second one and you’re like “well I’m here now, might as well get through the entire thing, I weirdly need to know how this ends.” 
It’s pure fluff. It’s a perfect Hallmark-esque situation, but better than the Hallmark movies because the heroine doesn’t actually need to give up anything for love like Hallmark always makes them do. Like, girl, why can’t you have a career while your husband does XYZ small-town job? WHY NOT BOTH. 
The point is, ya girl likes a happy ending. All of these have a happy ending. Everything on this list will have a happy ending.
Let It Snow (Netflix)
It snows on Christmas Eve and a group of kids in a small town, including a pop star for some reason, deal with that, and their issues, and it builds to a big ol’ party. 
This one is way better than it sounds. There is an adorable queer relationship, and two friends figuring out they’re in love, and one girl realizing she should go away to college because she can’t just stay and shoulder all the issues her family has, and friends prioritizing their friendship, and Joan Cusack playing the town’s crazy lady. 
I’m clearly still like 17 at heart so I enjoy a good ‘random teens figuring shit out’ movie. It’s just cute as hell. 
Holidate (Netflix)
Emma Roberts hates holidays because her boyfriend broke up with her so while she returns shitty Christmas presents she meets a dude who agrees to be her random ‘date’ for all of the holidays that year. 
Okay, this is not strictly a Christmas movie but it starts and ends at Christmas, and it’s fucking hilarious. This is not for kids, but oh my god, I laughed way more than I expected to. And the dude is Australian which is sooo up my alley, and of course the point is that they randomly end up falling for each other and sometimes I need a good romance that is kind of, sort of realistic (in how awkward it gets at times) even if the premise is ridiculous. 
Like, if you wanna get drunk on some wine with some adults that are not easily offended after the kids are in bed, this is the one. 
Single All The Way (Netflix)
A guy doesn’t want to go home for the holidays because his family is gonna be judgmental about his taste in dudes and the fact that he’s perpetually single, so he drags his roommate along for the ride.
Y’all. This is just a really, really adorable love story. No bullshit tricks, no stupid plot, just two friends falling in love. 
I very clearly love boys falling in love, and this one is sweet as hell. Also, it’s got Jennifer Coolidge as the crazy aunt! And Kathy Najimy! The family is hilarious and the boys are relatable and of course there’s a point where the main character is set up with a super hottie but like, they figure it out eventually. And not in a stupid, cheesy movie way. It just feels really cozy. 
This was hands down my absolute favorite the year it came out. Hard recommend.
Spirited (Apple TV)
 A re-telling (kind of?) of a Christmas Carol, but make it a musical with Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds.
Okay I’m gonna admit it: this one is so WEIRD! It absolutely did NOT need to be a musical whatsoever but I could not look away. I will watch anything with Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds though, and it was funny. And I did not expect the twist they worked in. 
Do you have two hours to be strangely pulled into this and then feel weird ways about stuff? You should. This year, I’m gonna eat a gummie first. It’ll be worth it.
Zoey's Extraordinary Christmas (Roku Channel with ads, but it’s not horrible)
A woman who’s gained the power to see/learn people’s emotions through witnessing them do elaborate musical numbers, has an unsettling family christmas.
Hear me out on this one. I was absolutely obsessed with Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (it’s on Peacock; go watch it, like, right now. Immediately). It was such a ridiculous concept for a show but it was really so effing charming. And heartwarming, and also heartbreaking. If you haven’t seen the show, the Christmas movie is  not going to be as emotional for you, but it’s still extremely cute. The pageantry! The musical numbers! The family dynamics! 
I’ll admit this is niche as hell, but Zoey is my bish and I will tell anyone who will listen they should watch. I miss that show terribly.
Somewhat Honorable Mentions
Netflix did two random movies last year that I did watch: Christmas with You, starring Freddie Prinze Jr (!!!!!!) and Falling for Christmas with Lindsay Lohan.
Listen, I support random actors I have loved since I was a kid doing Christmas movies. Especially since they haven’t gotten up to a whole lot else. I want Lindsay Lohan to figure her fucking life out, because I can’t let go of Mean Girls or The Parent Trap. She could have been a whole damn thing and I’m sad about how things went for her and I just want her to be okay, you guys.
Is her Christmas movie mostly terrible? Yes. But it’s good background noise, just like Freddie Prinze Jr’s, and I want them both to keep doing things. So watch them while you’re cleaning the house, because why not?
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Because I literally have all of the time in the world on my hands, I’ll probably watch almost all of these, and my favorite old standards too. 
I’ll save Elf and A Muppet’s Christmas Carol  to watch with my little nephews when I head home. We’ll do the George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve as a weirdo family. I’ll put on White Christmas while I get the tree decorated and I’ll be singing ‘when I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep..’ for days. I’ll put on The Holiday in between Christmas and New Year’s because I am very much Kate Winslet in that movie, always the best friend, never the leading lady.  I might be able to tempt my Christmas-avoidant husband into Home Alone.
The point is, Christmas movies are such a wonderful and ridiculous genre of content. Because let’s be honest, no one’s holiday season is ever like that. No one, in the history of the world, has Christmases like they do in these ridiculous movies. But it’s nice to pretend. It’s nice to get that warm fuzzy feeling, it’s nice to imagine having the perfect decorations, or a crazy adventure, or a surprising romance. Because we all know, winter is bleak. It’s dark at 4:30 in the afternoon and it’s sludgy and wet and gray and unappealing. But it’s never that in Christmas movies - it’s always magical and exciting and twinkly. And we all deserve something magical and exciting and twinkly. At least until we can make it out of the dark. 
So, stream it all, y’all, it’s that time of year.
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winderlylandchime · 1 year ago
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I come to you with 2x09(1/2), this is one of my favorite episodes and i am so happy that my brother didn’t disappoint (without his knowledge. Bc for the sake of the experiment i try to be as quiet as possible while watching) anyway: i came home from work and he was waiting in the driveway with the remote in his hands so he didn’t waste a single second: *the ep starts with Britin and the priest* ‘oh damn. Okay, i guess we are just jumping right in! Is he wearing a CROSS NECKLACE?! How poetic….is that what that means?’ *stares at the babylon scene and then looks at me like a kid on christmas* ‘can we go to a gay club? I feel like itd be fun? This looks fun! Look at them having fun! *mikey mentions britins date night* WAS THAT THEIR VERSION OF A DATE?! You know what? Makes sense’ ‘BRIAN IS TELLING MIKE TO GET BEN BACK? Oh i think this dude might stick around longer than david then, huh? Or are they gonna pull the hollywood gay triangle and kill him off?’ (Narrators note: i have no clue what the triangle is but he seems sure of it as if he learned it in school, i can ask about it if yall want) ‘Did that lil shit just say what I think he said?! Brian, i give you full permission to hit that ugly child even if they are your nephews..*looks at me all honestly* promise ill get rid of my future kids if they say stuff like that..damn i keep forgetting they have sisters’ he is currently not happy about Brians sister saying he got off scot free and is talking about the ep where Jack says he should die instead, i am not ready for him to fully meet Joan.
The scene with the church comes up. ‘Okay brian has no business looking this good at church…how hard do you think he’s resisting to not make a joke about him catching on fire? *looks at me* oh come on! You make that joke all the time!!..the priest is like a what to her now?! Wait, is that? Is that THE DUDE FROM THE CLUB?! OH MY GOD HE FUCKED THE PRIEST! BRIAN FUCKING KINNEY FUCKED THE PRIEST!!! Does this mean he fucked God? HE FUCKED GOD! Now aint that a way to tell religion to go fuck itself. Fucked by the “sinner” himself’ *he then pretended to tip a cowboy hat to Brian while laughing so hard that he has tears in his eyes* ‘of course Justin thinks this is hot. Attaboy. Wait theyre all having breakfast together? And mel is actually nice? And brian is nice? SO THEY CAN GET ALONG IM JUST NOT ALLOWED TO WITNESS IT!’ He is currently losing his shit over that lunch scene where Ted shows up with a boner and once again has tears in his eyes. *in the tune of sitting on the tree song* ‘Brian and Justin hanging in the loft, F-U-K-C-C-I…wait that’s not it, F-K-U-I…no that sounds wrong..F-U-N-K-G..*looks at me worryingly* oh god. The alphabet is all wrong. (I tried to help him bc this man was about to have a meltdown) no no stop, you don’t know how the alphabet goes (me:everyone knows how the alphabet goes) no, i rearranged it yesterday because it didn’t look right on that thing *points to a photo with letters all over the place that spell happy bday*’
Welcome back dear sweet anon and brother anon!
I want you to know that I first read your messages on a bit of break at work and had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard that I was worried I wouldn't be able to be professional looking in my meetings.
I love how protective your brother is of you - already getting rid of future imaginary bigoted kids.
HAHA yes fucking a priest is Britin's definition of date night!
I am worried about what drugs your brother is on with this alphabet rant. Is he... okay?
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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years ago
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everything i’m insecure about ~ corpse husband
word count: 946
request?: no
description: in which the things his fans say become too much for her and she starts to believe them
pairing: corpse x female!reader
warnings: swearing, angst (kinda?), insecurities
masterlist (one, two)
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The Discord disconnect sound alerted everyone that someone had left the call, but it was the bright red letters reading “(Y/S/N) has left the game” that brought their laughing to a halt.
“Did (Y/N) leave?” Rae asked.
“Wifi might’ve dropped,” Jack responded.
“The wifi is working fine for me,” Corpse told them. “I don’t hear her moving in the other room.”
“Corpse, if you want to go check on her we’ll wait to start the lobby again,” Toast offered.
Corpse shook his head, forgetting that his friends couldn’t see them. “No, I’ll leave and come back in a bit. You guys can play without me.”
He left the Among Us game and placed his headphones aside. (Y/N) hadn’t come into his room yet, which was why Corpse thought she had merely disconnected by accident. If she had decided she was finished streaming, she would’ve told everyone and come over to join him in his room.
He walked to the guest bedroom where (Y/N) had her streaming set up. Instead of being sat at her computer like Corpse expected, (Y/N) was laid on her back on the guest bed, staring up at the ceiling. He could see something shiny on her cheeks, and realized they were also flushed - she was crying.
Noticing Corpse walk in, she quickly wiped her face and tried to smile. “Hey. Are you done streaming?”
“I wasn’t, but I may be now,” Corpse responded. “What happened, (Y/N)?”
“Nothing. Don’t worry, go back to your stream.”
Doing the exact opposite, Corpse crossed the room and laid next to (Y/N). He took her into his arms and rested her head on his chest. This was enough to finally break (Y/N) and she began to cry into Corpse’s chest.
Corpse smoothed her hair and allowed her to cry as she needed. He wasn’t going to push her to talk if she didn’t want to.
After some time, (Y/N)’s sobbing started to calm down and she spoke, “They hate me.”
“Who hates you?” Corpse asked.
“Your fans. They hate me. They’ve been spamming my social media and my chats with so much hate. I turned on subscribers only chat, but some of them even ended up subscribing to send me hate. I turned off my social media comments and replies and my inboxes, but they’re still getting to me somehow.”
“What do they say?”
(Y/N) hesitated. She already felt like she had said too much. She didn’t want to make Corpse upset with his fans. Obviously it wasn’t all of them giving her trouble, but it felt like the select few who were had made it their live mission to make her miserable.
“(Y/N),” Corpse prompted after a prolonged silence. “What are they saying?”
(Y/N) sighed and finally said, “They keep saying you should be with Rae instead of me. They post clips of you and Rae when you stream together and say you’re cuter together than we are, and that she’s better for you than I am.”
Corpse felt his anger rise at this. He didn’t mind the playful shipping his fans did - like Corpsekkuno - but when they took it too far like this he hated it. Especially now, seeing (Y/N) so upset over things that were just untrue.
“You know they’re wrong, right?” (Y/N) was silent. Corpse moved his head to try and see her face, but she moved to look away. “(Y/N).”
“They’re not completely wrong,” she said.
“Babe - ”
“She’s so much older than I am,” (Y/N) cut him off. “She’s so much more mature. And she’s pretty, and you two get along so well.”
“She’s like my sister,” he added. “(Y/N), they’re just trying to get in your head. I love you more than anything, and only you. You’re the one I want to be with, and in my eyes, you’re meant for me.”
Tears started to form in her eyes again, but this time they were from happiness. Corpse squeezed her slightly and kissed her forehead.
(Y/N) shrieked and giggled as Corpse stood and lifted her from the bed. He carried her to his room, where they both realized Corpse was still streaming. He placed (Y/N) down onto his bed and leaned into his mic. “Sorry for being gone so long guys, but I’m gonna dip. Hit me up for the next lobby.”
His friends chorused goodbyes and well wishes for (Y/N) before Corpse left the call.
“Sorry to anyone watching for the silence,” he said to his viewers. “I hope the Discord call without the visuals made for great out of context jokes. I’ll talk about my reason for going MIA later, but for now thanks for watching and I’ll see you guys next stream.”
He got in bed next to (Y/N), but this time he rested his head on her chest.
“You didn’t need to end the stream,” she told him. “I wouldn’t have minded watching for a while.”
“Nah, I would’ve went on a rant if I kept streaming. I want to cuddle with you for a while, then I want to show you that I love you and only you.”
(Y/N) smiled and wrapped her arms around Corpse. She ran her fingers through his curly hair, taking in the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with his shampoo.
“I love you, too,” she whispered into his hair. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have anything to thank me for. Everything I say is the truth, and you know I’m always here to assure you, babe.”
She kissed the top of his head, silently thanking him again.
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hobbitsnapes · 3 years ago
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YOU GUYS ARE DATING
Corpse x MGK!sister reader
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(Found this image on Pinterest so all credit goes to artist, if you know who it is please comment below so I can credit them)
A/N: this was requested by @heyitssab
Tree is tall of sex in this, but it’s more in a joking matter, plus corpse has stated he doesn’t mind as long as you are not a minor or send or tag him. I’m literally 2 years younger than him, and have no intentions of ever tagging him or sending him any of my work XD
Summary: how many idiots does it take to tell the brother and friend they’re dating? Apparently takes 2 very forgetful people, who kept their relationship secret without knowing it.
It had just been by chance, a small chance that he had been scrolling through his tags. liking and reposting art, when he saw a tag from someone he followed. He wrecked his brain for when he had followed her, coming up empty. She was cute, no denying the beauty she had as she laughed in the video. It was a clip from a stream that he didn’t know she had, as he couldn’t even remember her name, wearing his merch as it fit her snug. It fit her perfectly in fact, the large hood covering her face, hiding the flush to her face from her rather large chuckles that left her body. He couldn’t help but like the photo, and he couldn’t help but to press message either.
It was first only small likes to posts, an Occasional message, and a view on their livestreams, but that all changed when he spoke of the song he was working on with her older brother.
It all started that night, when both lay in their beds as they talked, laughed, and felt their hearts flutter each time they heard one another speak.
Her phone rang violently in her bag, nearly making her drop the to go bag all over the ground as she walked. “Hello?” She asked, as she held both bags with her hands as her shoulder gripped the phone as if it’d fall down a cliff. “Hey bug!” He exclaimed, making her chuckle as she heard the booming sound of his voice. She had always detested the nickname, as he gave it to her as kids due to her horrendous fear of the creatures. But, it brought more joy to her, as it reminded her of their youth. Having been adults for years, it was fun to hear such a childish name that’s stuck.
“Hey mopey.” She chuckled, as that was the name she gave him when he was in his emo phase that he never outgrew.
Both talked as she walked towards the elevator, mainly about how his day had gone as she silently listened.
She had always been this way, always the shyer of the two, the one to listen to others first before she said a word. He had teased her for it most of their childhood and teen life, but he had grown to love it, as he could let loose or rant to her about anything, and he knew she’d be there just to listen to him.
“So what’re you doing right now?” He asked, as she got into the elevator. “Just grabbed some dinner a few minutes before you called and nearly made me shit.” A smile painted on her face at his boisterous laughter.
“Are you at home?” He asked, as he heard the sound of the elevator beeping in the background. “No, I’m spending the night with my boyfriend.”
She had mentioned about a month prior that she was seeing someone, the joy it brought him to hear the excitement and joy in her tone as she gushed about their first date.
If this was 7 or 8 years prior, he would be bombarding her with questions about the man, who he was, where he lived, where he could meet him to find his intentions with his baby sister. But, in the last few years, he found himself feeling calmer whenever she’d mentioned her love life. He knew she was smart, and would never date a man who treated her poorly. The few breakups she had, they always ended amicably, her head still high as she told him. So, he never asked her any questions about the man, as he could tell from the few times she mentioned him, he could feel the love this man had for her, and Vice versa.
The strong barreling of her phone alerted them awake, both groaning out as she reached for her phone without lifting her head from his shoulder. “Hello?” She mumbled, voice slurred as the saliva was thick in her mouth, barely awake as she fought to listen in on who dares to wake them up.
“Hey!” He exclaimed, making her equally exhausted lover groan. She shifted off of him, laying on her back as he turned away from her, as to hopefully shut his eyes and fall back asleep. She was used to her brother's large voice, as it hardly phased her after growing up with him. “Colson, why are you calling me this ungodly hour?” “Oh come on, it’s not that early.” “Col its-“ She pulled her phone from her ear, eyes shutting violently as the bright light blinded her “5 o’clock in the morning. So again, I’m going to ask you, why did you call me at the asscrack of dawn?” “You don’t remember?” He asked, making her irritation grow. “No, that’s why I’m asking.” She says, as she rubbed her sleep crusted eyes. “You were coming up today to hang out with casie, remember?” Her hand stopped rubbing her face, as she felt her heart stop momentarily. “Wait, you mean today? I thought I was coming Friday?” “No, both of you settled on today, remember I told you that’s perfect because I have a day off?” She felt her heart pain as she heard the sadness in his tone, knowing he’s expecting her to bail. “Yeah sorry, I thought you meant Friday so I mixed it up, let me get ready and I’ll be out the door okay? Love you” she said, as she hung up the line.
Before she could even move, she felt his arm wrap around her body. A tired groan leaving his lips. “Nooo stayyyy.” He groaned, pulling her body to his. She smiled as she looked down at him, wrapping her arm on his chest and the other behind his neck. “I wish I could live, but I can’t.” Planting a soft kiss against his lips. “Stay in bed for a few more hours, please?” Her heart pulled at his tone, hearing just how tired he was. “I can’t, casies wanted me to come up for weeks now. And it takes a good 3 hours to get there. I wanna spend as much time as I can with them before it gets dark so I can get back safely.” He groaned at this, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah but it’s only 5, it wouldn’t be safe to drive since we went to bed like, 2 hours ago.” “Yeah, and whos fault was that mister?” She teased, “hmm, sorry but I just couldn’t keep my hands to myself after not seeing you for a few days.” He mused, pulling her body closer to his, planting his lips against hers. A small hum left her lips as he pulled her thigh over his, grabbing the flesh harshly as their lips cascaded together. “Mm, no no no, you’re not gonna convince me to stay here just to go another round.” She said, as she got off from his warm body, throwing his large hoodie over her bare body. “Oh come on babe, are you sure about that?” He said, making her turn around to him. A small gasp left her lips as her eyes took in his milky white complexion. His honey brown eyes looking back at her with a small smile etched onto his face. His hair a tousled mess that resembled a bird's nest, some pieces falling onto his face. “Honey, I’ve been wanting to see my family for weeks now, I see you almost everyday and practically live here. I’ll be back tomorrow so I can grab more clothes from my place okay?” She placed a kiss to his lips, both holding one another in their arms. “I don’t know why you don’t just say fuck that place and just move in.” He mumbled, making her chuckle and heart warm. “Don't you think it’s a little soon though? I mean we’ve only been together a few months love.” “Yeah, but you’ve practically lived here since we got together, you literally just go there to get more clothes that you end up leaving here.” She looked into his eyes as she thought about his words. “Hm, I’ll think about it today okay?” She mused, planting a kiss to his lips. A soft okay leaving him as she got up.
“And babe, remember if you live here, we can have all the sex we want and not have to worry about driving to get one another.” He exclaimed, laughing at the loud honey she screamed from the bathroom.
She couldn’t help but laugh out as she watched, as her niece tried her hardest to braid her fathers grown out hair. It was near impossible not to, as pieces would fall out, resulting in her pulling them harsher, nearly pulling his eyelids back due to the tension from his temples. “Okay okay you’re gonna fuckin scalp me.” He chuckled , as all three bursted out in large laughter.
“So how’s school going this year?” She asked her, as she delicately painted her nails. Both of the girls had found themselves on the floor in front of the nice coffee table, as colson sat and chatted with them. “It’s going really well.” “Oh yeah? Make any new friends?” She teased. “I mean, kinda.” She couldn’t help but hear the wavering in her tone, spotting the faint blush dusting her skin. “Ohh, so there’s a someone eh?” She teased to her, making the preteen hide her face as to conceal the flush. “His names Garrett, and we both take social studies together. He always sits next to me at lunch, and we’ll draw on my notebook.” She gushed, making her smile. “Soo, do you think he likes you?” “I mean, that’s what everyone keeps saying.” “Yeah well don’t worry about it to much cas, you’re not dating anyone for many more years. You’re still a kid.” Her das said, making the young girls face fall.
Y/N knew he was only saying this to protect her, as he said the same thing to her growing up. “Hey, don’t be bummed out about it. He is right, you both are only 12 and should focus on school. But don’t worry, he’ll come around. He was just like that with me up until my current boyfriend.” She whispered, making the young girl chuckle.
“Speaking of which, how are you guys doing?” He asked, as she hadn’t mentioned hun to her in a while. He didn’t think it’d hurt to ask. “Great actually, we’re thinking of moving in together actually.” “That’s great! I’m really happy that y’all met.” “Yeah, I am too.” She hummed, a flush dusting her cheeks.
Both men laughed as they chatted on the phone, talking about anything that would come to mind. What was once only a collaboration for a song, turned into an amazing friendship that caused both of them to call at late hours just to shoot the shit.
A yawn left his lips, as he listened to colson ramble on about another song he was making. “Woah, you tired man?” Colson asked, shocked to hear the sound. “Yeah sorry, was up most of the night last night.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Were you feeling alright?” He asked, worry laced in his tone. He knew all about his friends illnesses, even once being on the other end of the phone during a bad spell one day.” “Oh yeah yeah yeah, was just, up with the misses last night.” He chuckled, a flush blooming on his cheeks. “Ohhh yeah? And how was it?” This shocked him, nearly feeling his heart stop. Like, does he usually know about his sisters sex life? He didn’t think much of it, as he knew just how close both were. “It was absolutely fucking amazing. Like I thought we’d be done for the night, fully tapped out but after like 5 minutes she’d be right back on me for another round.” He chuckled, his flush even worse than before. “Ayyyeee good for you corpse, glad to hear that puss is bussin.” He laughed at this, throwing his head back. “Yeah, it’s bussin bussin.”
Both men talk as they read from their phones, eyes wide in absolute awe of the love they received from the song. They had just dropped it a few days prior, not expecting the cry of joy from both fan bases.
He didn’t even look up from it when she walked in, until she bent down to plant a kiss to his forehead. “Sorry I had completely forgot about the tea I made you an hour ago, but I put it back on the stove to heat it up so if it’s twisting funky just tell me okay?” Before he could even thank her, both their heads whipped towards the loudness from the other line. “Y/N? Is that you? What in the hell are you doing there with corpse!” He didn’t sound angry, more shocked than anything, both of them looking at the phone in confusion. “I, I love here? Remember I told you like a month ago I was moving in with him?” “WHAT!” Both jumped at the loud scream. “Wait so you guys are dating!?” Both we’re even more perplexed, until it dawned on both of them. Their eyes wide as they turned their heads to one another slowly. “Wait you didn’t tell him?” “No? He’s one of your best friends so I thought you did!” “He’s your brother! So I thought you did!” Both whisper, until all three lay silent. That was until, the large cry of laughter that leaves the two, leaving colson even more confused. He wasn’t mad, not at all actually. More shocked and confused than anything. Until he started thinking, it does make sense, all the times they spoke about one another without him knowing, all the times they mentioned-“OH GOD!” He yelled, gagging violently, making them stop their laughing fit. “What's wrong? Why are you yelling?” She asks “like a month ago corpse was talking about how he was tired cause he was up all night having sex AND I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU! OH GOD WAS THAT WHY YOU WERE LIMPING THAT DAY WITH CAS AND I!” Both laugh even harder, as they listen to his ever growing gags.
“So yeah,. That’s literally how we had no idea we were keeping the relationship secret from her brother.” He laughed, as he red the comments and listened to his friends' laughter. She sat beside him, head laying on his shoulder as he told the story. She couldn’t help but to look back up into his eyes, as he glanced down at her, planting a soft kiss to her lips. “Keep it pg guys.” Colson said from the other line, making them chuckle.
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eloquent-vowel · 3 years ago
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Hey! I have a request! Bucky x reader where the reader is from the red room. Maybe the avengers just got her out and Buckys helping her through the ptsd and stuff? Maybe she locks herself away to her room because she’s scared to do anything for herself? Also maybe some platonic nat? Sorry if that was too specific. Feel free to add your own ideas and change stuff or just ignore if you don’t like the idea! Thanks!
Hi! Thank you so much for the request, I'm sorry it took me so long, life has been evil to me and I may or may not have forgotten this blog actually had readers. I love me some good hurt/comfort. I hope what I have written works!
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When the Avengers had burst into the facility you had been kept in, with all the bravado of heroes you were shocked. You had heard whispers of these warriors that you were being trained eliminate. You had heard stories of the Black Widow who had betrayed the Red Room and while you didn't want to give yourself hope, a small part of you always longed to do the same. To be done with the endless list of missions and targets, to finally stop piling up the blood on your hands.
They had arrested you originally. You didn't blame them, you were one of the most active members of the programme, You had lost count of how many instructions you had followed, how many targets you had eliminated and you had no doubt that the Avengers had your face on their wall of targets.
That was why, when the Winter Soldier aimed a gun at your head you just knelt to the ground as you watched your seniors begin to fight the other Avengers. You didn't say a word in the carrier back to wherever they were taking you. It was easy to hide behind a bravado of stony silence, to pretend that your entire existence hadn't just been ripped away from you.
That was why, when the blank faces of the Black Widow and the Winter Soldier, stared at you from the other side of the interrogation table, you felt a panicked warmth creep up your neck. They begun to question you about the other facilities and to their surprise, you guessed by the way they looked at each other as you talked, you spoke truthfully and honestly to them. You told them everything you knew.
"If I can stop anymore becoming like me, I will. Everything I know is yours, I won't lie to protect something so hideous as the red room."
Because for as much as the red room tried to convince you otherwise, seeing young girl after young girl die by another girl was not right. Not right in the slightest. The more you saw of the world outside of the Room the more aware you became of this, so by the time it was to end, you promised to do anything to help the Avengers take down the remaining branches of the Black Widow Programme.
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Around 6 months after you had been captured, you were settled into the avengers compound, much to your surprise. You had been there personally to help the avengers gain access to some of the branches and during those mission you had begun a strong friendship with Nat and a... a something with Bucky.
There was something about the gruff man that was so gentle that drew you in. The way his smile lit up when a certain song came on and the little dances he would do while brewing coffee made your heart flutter- despite how much you tried to convince it not too.
It was a nice life, in the compound, you mostly stuck to your room until you were asked to help on a mission, or if Nat asked to spar with you. You still had not gotten rid of the memories, however. These vivid memories haunted you, if you weren't keeping busy your brain would wonder to times before. To victims of the red room, and your victims, the ones you had killed.
Their faces didn't hover as much as their voices, every plea they made would ring in your ears whenever there was a moment of silence. They whispered from the corner of your room at night, nothing would stop them from filling the void of silence. This meant that sleep did not come as easily to you.
It was one of those nights. When every time you closed your eyes there would be nothing but whispers and your brain seemed determined to run through every memory you regretted. There was only one solution to these nights, a good cup of tea (with a splash of whiskey in). So you pottered over to the kitchen, footfalls naturally silent as you boiled the kettle. Tony probably had some fancy gadget that would do the whole process more efficiently, but the sound of boiling water was rather grounding.
Perhaps your focus on the water was why you didn't hear the figure walking up behind you until you felt a slight breath on your neck. Training and years of being on the run kicked into gear and you immediately whipped around to punch her assailant around the jaw, and kicked a foot out to trip them. The figure fell with a very familiar oof, one recognisable from training.
It was Bucky.
Oh god, it was Bucky. Kind, thoughtful, gentle Bucky who had probably come out to check on you. The same Bucky who made you coffee in the morning, that was now lying on the floor clutching his eye as you looked down at him. And then his face, his figure, was all your other victims. A woman in hospital garb, a man in a suit, a wife, a sister, a child. It was too much, you had to run.
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Bucky watched as they ran from the kitchen, he stood up from the floor as the sound of a door slamming echoed through the tower. He rubbed at his jaw, how could he have been so stupid. Sneaking up on someone who was struggling with PTSD and running on little sleep, he didn't think.
"You gonna get that?" Nat's voice was hushed as she offered him a hand up.
He took it, pulling himself up, pausing to think for a moment before walking hesitantly over to the door. He knocked as quietly as possible. He could hear the gasping sobs coming from the other side of the walls.
Nat hovered on his other side, staying within comfort radius in case she was needed.
"Heya Doll." Bucky started, as there was no sign of reply he continued. "You alright?" Still silence. "I'm sorry I snuck up on you like that, it was my fault, should've thought but as Steve would say, thinking ain't always my strong suit."
He caught the sound of movement, hesitant footsteps coming towards the door.
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You managed to control your breathing enough to shuffle over to the door. You placed your hand over the door, where you imagined Bucky to be leaning. Guilt filled your conscious once more and the apology flew out of you before you could stop it.
"I'm so sorry, Bucky. God I am so sorry."
"It's fine, Doll."
"No, no its not!" You were practically yelling at the door now. "I hurt you. What if one day I kill you? You catch me with a knife in my hand and I jump, what then. For crying out loud I can't even make a cup of tea without hurting someone, I can't do anything. I'm sorry, I am so sorry that I'm so useless and I-"
"Hey, hey, hey breathe." Bucky's calm and even tone halted your rant. "Listen to me. Everyone of us has had moments like that, we all have our demons and those demons sometimes cause us to lash out. I've done worse than punch Steve many times, would you call me useless?"
You sniffed as you shook your head, forgetting he couldn't see you.
"Besides," He continued, "We all have our strengths, we all have our weaknesses but you know what's great? We are a team. Where one person can't make a cup of tea, another can make the best brew in the country. You don't have to face these things alone, Doll. We are all here for you, I am here for you, always will be."
You slowly began to open the door as he spoke, and looked up into the most sincere pair of blue eyes you had ever seen. There was a slight bruise coming up below his eye but he was smiling. He was doing that smile that meant his eyes crinkled, twinkling brightly- like stars.
"I'm sorry, Bucky."
"You don't have anything to apologise for, Doll, but you're forgiven."
You crept forward, reaching out for something, someone and the easy smile that filled your face as Bucky's arms wrapped around you in the most comforting hug you had ever had. You felt the faint echo of lips against your head and you gripped onto him tightly.
"You two are adorable."
The two of you separated slowly at Nat's voice. Not completely, there was still the comforting feeling of Bucky's hand against your back.
Nat's face was softer than you had ever seen it and there was nothing but understanding in her eyes as she spoke. "If you ever need someone to talk to come knock on my door. I know I would have loved to have someone there who knew."
Words caught in your throat as you nodded. You were soon wrapped in another comforting hug from Natasha, the scent of her perfume comforting and warm. The way forward would be hard but you knew that with these two by your side, your family, things would be a little easier than they had been.
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zodiyack · 4 years ago
Text
Being Married To Henry’s Characters Would Include...
Requested by @cuisinequeen​: Hi, I love your work. I was just wondering if you could do a headcanon for being married to Clark Kent/Geralt/Sherlock Holmes/Napoleon Solo
Pairing: Clark Kent x Reader, Geralt of Rivia x Reader, Sherlock Holmes x Reader, Napoleon Solo x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, some references, trashy writing lol
Note: This doesn’t include all of his characters, so my apologies if I misled you with the title. Not all that confident in the HCs so sorry about that too
Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @simonsbluee​, @darling-i-read-it​, @fandom-puff​, @thewarriorprincessxo​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @maan24​, @beckster07890​, @missihart23​
Masterlist | Henry Cavill Masterlist
Clark Kent
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You know he’s superman, therefore, you gotta expect the unexpected
Kiss: Level 100
helping him keep his identity secret isn’t always easy-
you wanna kiss him even when he’s superman but fuck you need him to remain undetected
but you manage
Little hc of the first few months after getting married:
Clark comes home late after a fight you see on tv
you turned it off before anything else happened, too worried already
he’s beat up
your eyes are red and puffy with tear stained cheeks as you stand and cross your arms.
you bet your ass there were cuddles that night.
Later into the marriage, he still scares you like that, but you’ve grown somewhat used to it and wipe the tears away
He’s protective of you too though
Aight sorry, but the gif is making me addicted to Henry kisses so Imma say it again,
best fucking make out sessions ever
yes, I’m gonna say that for all four.
fuck it, Clark!Kisses HCs
they’re soft half the time, needy the other half
if he comes home from superman duties or you have a run-in with a villain, so on so on, his kisses are rougher, needier, more possessive
bitch, he just needs you to know he’s still alive 🥺😢
Henry in glasses really do be hittin tho.
Stealing his glasses
Calling him a nerd because of the glasses
Probably making it a small joke about superman
Especially with oblivious friends
“I think superman’s a nerd.” “why??” “I just do.”
Having to stifle your laughs every time someone gushes about superman in front of him
Clark has to hold you back so you don’t unleash your wrath of fucking doom upon some oblivious woman who wrote about superman in a news article
She wrote things that would make you jealous, like talking about how she’s curious to his personal life *wink wink* and stuff- you don’t just have a raging fury because someone writes about him
Superman this hoe
You’ve made jokes about how he has to take his ring off when he’s superman, but he’s got a feeling that you’re actually not kidding at all
Exercising with Clark
Cursing him out in breathy pants for being more athletic and cheating with his “alien powers”
he just laughs at you
Ah, the difficulty have having a husband with two identities
When you rant about your husband, it’s so hard not to fuck up and say something about being married to Superman
Forgetting that you’re one of the few who knows his identity
Basking in pride because you’re one of the few who knows his identity
One time, Clark forgot to take his ring off and the person he rescued had known him personally.
He asks where he got the ring-
“What ring?”
“The one on your finger. The wedding ring.”
It felt like his stomach dropped...if that makes sense-
Clark ended up making some random story about finding it on the same plane the guy he rescued was on and that he put it on so he wouldn’t lose it.
The guy still thought he was pretty sus, “why was it on your wedding ring finger then?” but let him off after some time
The guy gave it back to Clark in person, but you had no idea what happened,
so when he gave him the ring, you were watching with the most confused look Clark had ever seen
thankfully, he played it off well and informed you later
He forgot to take off his wedding ring? You “secretly” fist bumped the air- ...he totally saw you though
Geralt Of Rivia
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I don’t think Geralt really expected to get married
Jaskier didn’t either-
He’s the only one who stands when the priest asks if anyone doesn’t accept... only to ask how the fuck Geralt got lucky enough to get you
Everyone laughed but Geralt, he just grunted and looked away with a lil’ bit o pink tinting his cheeks
You demand he lets you go on adventures with him
You also wash him after adventures
wink wonk ;)))
Geralt is a stubborn thing
You’re a stubborn thing
Y’all love each other
When I say that Geralt is a confusing husband-
I mean that he confuses the fuck out of you
“don’t do that”
“okay”
few minutes later
“I thought you were doing that-”
“You told me not too...?”
“I don’t recall. Do whatever.”
Minutes later.
“What the fuck!?! Don’t do that!”
He’s hard to read and it bugs you
However, it makes a good game out of it
If he ever introduces you as anything but his spouse, you hold a bitter glare while internally plotting
Before you marry, Jaskier hits on you without realizing that Geralt is interested in you
He gulps nervously as soon as it hits him
You might just use that mistake as a way to get back at Geralt for not saying you’re his spouse
Jaskier pleads you not to
like for real
He’s in tears
CuDdLeS!
Congrats, you have a stubborn manbaby for the rest of however long y’all shall live
Kithes
Geralt is a little distant when it comes to admitting his feelings for you at first
When you’re dating, you’re all over each other
Marriage is that but amplified lmao
Braiding his hair
Teasing him not the wink wonk and getting away with it because you’re his spouse
If Jaskier said anything remotely close to the shit you’ve said, Geralt would probably choke him out
But then resuscitate him cause they’re bros
Seeing the softer side of Geralt
Sure, sex, but getting to know each others bodies? Yes.
Soft!Sleepy!Geralt
His deep n husky morning voice telling you to “get your ass back in bed”
Having the excuse of “because I’m his spouse” anytime you do stuff people are too afraid to do
Jealous bb 1 and jealous bb 2 aka Geralt and Y/n
I think Geralt’s the kind of guy to just pick you up, ignore your flailing limbs, and move you out of the way
He takes shit from no one...well, from you SOMETIMES
Gives in to your requests with a sigh and roll of his eyes most of the time
He was protective of you at first
now he’s PrOtEcTiVe so uh
Basically, number one husband, number two bodyguard
you put yourself first for the bodyguard part, but Geralt doesn’t know that
Sherlock Holmes
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He asks your family for their blessing, then asks you-
I can imagine Mycroft just ranting away and Sherlock drops to his knee
“What are you doing?”
He ignores his brother and proposes to you
Mycroft is confused and upset because he wanted to rant about meaningless things and Sherlock decided to change the topic
rude
Being married means constant visits from Enola
Probably being the “second parents” to Enola
Gossip with Enola and Eudoria about Sherlock and him as a kiddo
Kicking Sherlock out of the house for sleepovers with his sister
bet
Helping Sherlock with cases
Dealing with Sherlock telling you it isn’t safe
still being upset when he’s right you know it
Finding Enola and Eudoria with him
Snapping at Mycroft for how he treats the girl and everyone else
Threatening Mycroft by just being a badass bitch and telling him to fuck off every now and then
Long story short, you make Enola laugh and Mycroft scoff as he walks away
He’s a stubborn bean, which now that I think about it- aren’t all Henry’s characters?
While he doesn’t say it much, he loves you
You get paranoid with this character too, as he does work that can be very dangerous as well
When he returns, he doesn’t say much aside from that he’s there now and that he loves you
cuddles with him whispering softly,
“I’m here now.” “I’m safe.” “I’m okay.” “I love you.”
Kisses in public either be quick pecks or minute long for goodbyes, but greetings-
especially after being apart for a while?
HC TIME
He comes home on the train and you’re at the station with his siblings
As soon as he spots you, he sets his stuff down because you’re already running at him
You jump into his arms and kiss him hard, not caring in the slightest about the other people at the station
It makes you smile every time he introduces you as his spouse
You’ve heard it so many times yet it still makes your heart flutter every single time
Napoleon Solo
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The amount of times you’ve just dropped everything and walked away because he was being ‘too serious”-
You say something, he takes it seriously, you groan and stomp away
But then you know you can do the same back to him
Napoleon is an all around awesome husband but he’s not going to just pretend to agree with stuff
Will correct you no matter how embarrassed you get 
Makes up with kisses or stuff idk
Let me be honest, I don’t know much about writing for Napoleon but he is an icon...sometimes
He’s protective
by that I mean he’s stubborn but really it’s his way of keeping you safe
Would probably lock you in your room even though you’re a, a grown ass adult, and b, his spouse for fuck’s sake?!??!
Doesn’t tell you when something’s bothering him unless he feels the need to
“I’m not a fucking mind-reader, Solo!”
“Neither am I but I still manage-”
He doesn’t mean to make you feel bad, he just- emotions and him aren’t the best of friends
Emotions aren’t exactly friends with most of his characters
He’d much rather just speak with actions than admit anything
Sometimes you worry that he’s just fucking with you
When he proposed, it scared the shit out of you ‘cause you thought it was a joke
Never admits to anything willingly...?
Yeah sorry...Idk, that’s all I got :\
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liberty-barnes · 4 years ago
Text
Just Breathe
Tom Holland x Female!Osterfield!Bisexual!Reader
Summary: Childbirth waits for no one, not even the Oscars.
Warnings: fluuuuuff, pregnant reader, mentions of childbirth, good press articles, BISEXUAL READER WOOOHOOO
Word Count: 1.5k words
Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes
A/N: heeeeey look @peterspideyy​ @parkersbliss​ that crazy idea i ranted to you about like six months ago finally got done! i can’t believe i did it... this feels too good to be true, is the world gonna end or something?
Masterlist 
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"I don't think this is a good idea."
"Me neither."
"Please, just stay here."
You looked up to your brother and husband, frowning as you smoothed your hand over the soft black fabric of your gown.
"I am not missing the Oscars, Tom. I've still got two weeks until I'm due, it'll be fine."
You sat down on the bed and looked dejectedly at your shoes, then proceeded to throw puppy dog eyes your brother's way until Harrison had no choice but to kneel and help you put on your comfortable trainers. There's no way you're putting on your heels at 37 weeks of pregnancy.
"But what if Baby decides to come sooner? You could go into labour at any moment!"
You rolled your eyes and only raised your arms so they could help you out of bed.
"You guys are being over-dramatic. Nothing's gonna happen. We're just going to the Oscars, we'll have a good time, and hopefully, I'll leave with a little statue under my arm."
With that, you waddled out of your hotel room, ready to get into the limo.
---
"(Y/n)! It's so good to see you! You look radiant as always!"
You smiled at Kaitlyn, an interviewer you knew and trusted and rubbed your belly comfortingly. 
"Thank you, I feel like a whale, but Baby'll be here soon so it's worth it."
She smiled and asked you a bunch of questions about your movie and how you were feeling about being nominated for Best Actress.
"But anyway, how far along are you now?"
"I'm a little over 37 weeks, they should be coming soon. Tom and Haz were actually really apprehensive about me coming here since I'm so close to my due date."
She smiled and looked over at the two men, obviously on edge.
"Well, I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you win."
You hugged her goodbye and posed for a few more pictures before being led inside by your husband.
---
"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for..."
Everyone watched with bated breath as Brie Larson, last year's winner, got ready to announce who would take home the trophy.
"This year's winner, and taking home the Oscar for best actress in a leading role..."
Tom took your hand and you squeezed it tight, ready to applaud one of the other amazing actresses on their win.
"(Y/n) Holland, for her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin!"
You felt like your heart was gonna beat out of your chest, run to that stage, kiss Brie, then promptly burst to flames out of sheer, unadulterated enthusiasm. Tom was hugging you and whispering how much you deserved it while your brother gently guided you to the podium. None of them would ever allow you to go up there on your own. Always one in front of you in case you trip forward and one behind you to catch you if you fall back.
Overprotective much?
As soon as you reached Brie, you hugged her tight (or as tight as you could with a human baby house separating you), taking the award while the two boys hugged her too.
"Holy Louis Tomlinson in a crop top."
The audience laughed, most of them already familiar with your strange One Direction inspired expressions.
"Wow, I didn't actually think I was gonna win this, everyone had such amazing performances. I-It's an honour, really. Two Sides of the Same Coin was a project very near and dear to my heart, so I'd like to thank the amazing Drew Barrymore, who wrote and directed the movie."
The room erupted in cheers and the woman smiled at you from her place on the front row.
"Bisexual representation is something we don't get very often, and when we do, it's always misjudged. So thank you for showing the world what bisexuality really is, and for giving me a chance to live out my dreams of kissing lots of people. This idiot tied me down too soon."
You pointed behind you at Tom, hearing his appalled squeak along with Harrison's guffaw of a laugh. 
In other news, the baby was starting to inconvenience you slightly. Baby had been going crazy since last night (not that you'd tell the boys) and the Braxton-Hicks were killing you, but it only got worse now.
"I'd also like to thank my amazing costars, Zendaya, Bella Thorne, and Owen Patrick Joyner, it was awesome to make out with you all..."
The crowd laughed while you felt something trickle down your legs.
Oh.
OH.
You'll never live this down, that's for sure.
"Uh, before I finish can one of you idiots call the car and get them to come to the exit please and thank you? Now as I was saying-"
"Wait, why?"
You turned to your brother and smiled innocently.
"Oh, my water just broke."
The crowd cheered.
Tom screamed.
Harrison fell to the floor, unconscious.
You sighed.
"New plan, can anyone try to wake my brother while my hus-" 
You looked at Tom, frantically doing small back and forths between you and his best friend, unsure of what to do. 
"-While someone else calls the car because both of them are apparently useless."
"We need to get you to the hospital!"
His terrified scream could be heard all through the room, even with no mic.
"What? No! I need to finish my acceptance speech, then go back to the hotel to shower and maybe take a little nap and then go to the hospital. My water just broke, Thomas, we have time, calm your tits."
You turned back fully to the mic, facing the hysteric faces of the crowd, very entertained by the exchange.
"Now as I was saying, I want to thank the amazing team that worked on this movie, you're all amazing and it was such a good experience. I'd also like to thank my family for always being there for me and supporting me and Haz in our acting careers. Thank you to my brother, even if he's unconscious right now, he'll just watch it on Youtube later, for literally forcing me to go to the audition. And lastly, I'd like to thank my wonderful husband, who hopefully hasn't passed out yet, for always supporting me and being my biggest rock through everything. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff."
---
An Oscar in hand and another... down her legs?
(Y/n) Holland sure gave the Oscars something to be entertained by on this last Saturday. The wife of fellow actor Tom Holland looked radiant in her custom-made Valentino dress, looking ready for a night of fun.
(Y/n) was nominated for this year's Best Actress in a Leading Role award, alongside Meryl Streep, Margot Robbie, Cate Blanchett, and Tessa Thompson, but the Oscar went to her from her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin. But it was during her acceptance speech that things got... slippery.
At 37 weeks of pregnancy, the Holland baby was ready to come at any minute, but apparently, theatrics run in the family. The actress was in the middle of her speech when she felt her water break, pausing in her talking to request a car be called.
You'd think her husband, Tom, and brother Harrison Osterfield, overprotective as they are, would be fully prepared! Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for our entertainment, they were not. Harrison went unconscious after hearing the news, dropping to the floor and earning himself a minor concussion, much to his sister's amusement
[image1-harrison-ice-pack.png]
@ynholland: "Don't worry, when you go into labour, I'll be with you every step of the way." Said Harrison Osterfield, then proceeded to pass out, get a minor concussion, and miss the whole delivery.😂 Good job, little bro👍
And just when you thought she couldn't get any better, she finishes her acceptance speech with: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff." We have no choice but to stan this iconic queen!
But for the news you've all been waiting for, Oscar Robert Holland (yes, the middle name is a homage to Robert Downey Jr. himself, we're not crying, you are!) was born just twelve hours later. Tom let know through a beautiful Instagram picture that he is in fact "perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already".
[image2-tom-and-oscar.png]
@tomholland2013: I present to you, my best creation to this date: Oscar Robert Holland. Thank you all for your prayers and kind messages, our boy is perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already❤️
But of course, Uncle Haz wouldn't stay behind.
[image3-haz-and-oscar.png]
@hazosterfield: Since I know you've all been worried sick and desperate to know how the baby is... I'm doing just fine, it's just a minor concussion :) Oh and my godson's great too.
And just to prove that the Osterfields are indeed the royal family of comedy, we leave with this wonderful picture posted to the happy mum's very own Instagram.
[image4-yn-and-oscars.png]
@ynholland: Guess I was so good they gave two Oscars instead of one ;)
-Written by Kaitlyn Storm
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so anyway, Two Sides of the Same Coin is a movie idea i got a while ago and should maybe try to write one of these days but oh well or something. anyway, i’m not gonna rant about it here cause it’d be too long but i hope you enjoyed this and don’t forget to like/comment/reblog if you feel like it!
-Love, Miah
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────» 
Taglists: (if your name is striked through it means for some reason tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you) 
PERMA TAG 
@adriannajackson123​ @theamazingtomholland​ @inlovewithmobtom​ @andycanbeemotional​ @officiallyunofficialperson​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @jeezkiddo​ @a-singleboat​ @wunder-13 @highlydisfunctional1​ @ellyseveronica​ @inthecornerchair​ @harishaanne​ @anjalika03​ @lozzypoz321​ @mendes-marvel​ @sovereignparker​ @bubbles-the-powerpuffgurl 
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emeraldvagabond · 3 years ago
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If we're talking about retcons can we also please talk about how Tamlin was retconned too? I have a list™️(sorry this is gonna be long): in ACOTAR it’s a big point that Tamlin didn’t want to be a cruel tyrannical high lord like his dad. This is stated SEVERAL times, in fact Feyre falls for him because he's vehemently anti slavery (compare that to Rhys, who says the NC freed their slaves ONLY because they became hard to brainwash and make them forget about Velaris. Ew). 1/5
But in ACOMAF, he's ok with the tithe? Not that he shouldn’t collect taxes, but at the threat of DEATH??? Because “that’s how my dad did it?” What happened to not wanting to be cruel like his dad? In TAR he's kind enough where people keeping seeking refuge, and long before Amarantha comes, Lucien, despite having friends in many courts, CHOOSES to stay with Tam. And Lucien spends 90% of the book mocking Tamlin or challenging him. He even sets Feyre up with the suriel, fearing no repercussions despite Feyre being important in, uh, breaking their curse??? (and there aren’t any from Tam). But in MAF Lucien is afraid of Tamlin? In TAR, Tamlin offers to teach Feyre how to read and to help her write to her family, and the book also mentions that he teaches her how to ride bareback. But now in MAF he doesn’t want to help teach her her powers and in fact, forbids her from training? And most importantly… in ACOTAR, Tamlin notices Feyre's moods despite being very busy with, you know. Running his court. Fighting off Amarntha's monsters. All that stuff. But he still sees when she's sad. In fact, noticing she's upset is what leads to him writing her poems, to make her feel better. So am I really supposed to believe that he ignores her and becomes emotionally negligent in ACOMAF because “he's busy”? That he doesn’t see her feelings or try to help and console her when he does so several times in book 1? Retcon city. Sorry, this is so long, but I’m angry ranting and Tamlin was retconned sooo much in later books.
NONNY THIS IS LITERALLY A TAMLIN STAN ACCOUNT WE CAN TALK ABOUT HIS CHARACTER ASSASSINATION ALLLLLLLLLLLLL MF DAYYY. IT'S MY FAVORITE PASS TIME.
So really, the tithe, I understand, it's even stated that most of the money and things are for running the estate and the land, upkeep etc. I think a lot of people have the tendency to hear(or read) estate and think....a very large house, but that isn't the case. A Lord's estate isn't just his manor, but his workers, his land, the villages that are built on that land, the animals in those villages, and anything and everything in between. He is literally collecting money to put towards their quality of life. HOWEVER, THE THREAT OF DEATH?
I understand he's vulnerable to Ianthe's whims, because as i've said before, he's never had anyone to guide him through this whole Highlord thing that he never asked for, but that is SO MUCH of a stretch for his character. In TAR he tells Feyre that he's no good for anything but war and death, and fiddling, that he's no good at being Highlord and he's terrified of being his father. Every action he takes is consciously for the betterment of his people and their lives, to the best of his ability while under Amarantha's rule. To the point where Fae, including Alis, flee from Amarantha and the effects of her and Rhysand's actions to his court. And when they get there they all choose to stay. Alis and Lucien, two of the main people who we know are refugees in his court, have nothing but kind things to say of him. And like you said- Lucien challenges him and makes fun of him for being awkward and laughs and plays with him as brothers do without fear. Because Tamlin literally does not enforce rank in his court. He doesn't just say that once, it bleeds into every interaction he has with his people. On the Summer Solstice, he sits among the people and plays the fiddle and drinks and dances with Feyre, and leaves everything long enough to take her to watch the wisps until the dawn breaks. He gets on his knees just to play HER a song, right there in front of everyone. He doesn't hide his feelings behind any type of mask, and he doesn't worry about what his people will think because THAT IS THEIR HIGHLORD. Their Highlord is JUST Tamlin, nothing more, nothing less.
He doesn't even wear the fancy, decked-out clothes of a Highlord, because they aren't practical, and he's just Tamlin.
He's never too busy for what Feyre needs- sometimes he has work and he can't spend every waking moment with her, but she never wants for anything. Even when she is so desperately afraid for her sisters...she has no need to be because he's already taken care of everything they could ever want or need. AND NESTA KNOWS IT WAS HIM!!!!! And even after Feyre does....everything that she does, he STILL cares for her family. When her sisters become Fae, he STILL cares for their father right up until the moment he steps onto that battlefield.
I bet, if Elain wanted to return to that house and live out the rest of her days in silence in the mortal realms....he would probably fund it because that's just who he is!!!!
He lets himself be trapped in that snare Feyre lays for him- just to make her smile. Just to see her triumph. Because he knows that's what she needs at that moment. He offers to teach her to read, but it's too embarrassing for her, so he doesn't press. He offers to help her write letters home to her family, but she doesn't know what she would even want to say, so he doesn't press. He keeps her painting of the woods- of a time when she was starving, now, in a time where she is fed and clothed in finery because it reminds him that is not the only one who feels desolate and overwhelmed with responsibility that they never asked for.
And then in the end, despite all this, despite being desperately in love with her, because he is desperately in love with her...he sends her away. He sends her home, back to that estate, away from the danger even when she is supposed to be his savior. Because it's a burden she doesn't know she carries, because he would rather find a million other ways or suffer under a woman who has been obsessed with him since he was a child than see Feyre suffer.
And she comes back for him because she loves him. She loves the freedom he has given her, the ways he's set her free. She loves the Spring Court and the people there, she loves dancing at the summer solstice and a male who plays her solos in front of hundreds of people like he's offering a gift to the goddess.
And then....all of that was just? A show? A ploy? What? What was it? It doesn't make sense. Yes, he's desperately afraid, but the last time he was desperately afraid he let her go. The safest thing for her in book two would be training. Harnessing her new powers, learning who she is now, and what she isn't anymore. But nooo now, suddenly it's lock her up and put her on a shelf? Now it's, he has too much to do, stay here and not, he has so much to do, stay safe? It's no longer teaching her what she doesn't know it's....owning her? I'd say make it make sense but literally, no one can.
And it makes me mad.
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90spumkin · 4 years ago
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Have Yourself a Spooky Little Christmas
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Summary: What the holidays are like with Spencer and your 5 year old son.
A/N: Well here it is. My first Christmas fic! I enjoyed writing this it made me all warm and happy. I don’t know who to give creds to for the pictures because I got it from google. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this, and message me if you would like to be added to my taglist or the taglist for a certain series just specify which one. Also this is kind of how i pictured Ronan while writing this. Let me know if any of the links throughout the fic are not working and I will fix them.
Pairing: dad!Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader
Warnings: lying to a child about Santa, the rest is just fluff 
Word Count:1942
It had been a long day at the office. Pile upon piles of paperwork were coming in trying to get everything settled before the holidays. I had just curled up on the couch with my son Ronan to watch a Christmas movie, when the door of the apartment flies open and in comes my husband weighed down by shopping bags.
I instantly untangle myself from my blanket to go help him. As I make my way to him as I quickly as I can my dorky husband starts on one of his rants before I can even get a hello out.
“Y/n you are not gonna believe all the Christmas stuff I just found at that little Christmas store down the street. I was gonna surprise you guys with getting home early. Well as you can see, I got distracted.” Spencer giggled at himself and I stood staring at my husband still trying to process that my Halloween obsessed husband was actually excited about Christmas.
Don’t get me wrong we have always celebrated Christmas the 8 years we’ve been together, but we have never really gotten into the festivities of the holidays. Spencer was bent over rummaging through the bags he had dropped on the floor. He stood up with what looked like sweaters clutched in each hand a goofy grin on his face, “Where’s Ronan? I got us all matching Christmas sweaters!”
“Asleep on the couch. Spencer honey why on earth-?” I was cut off by Spencer walking away and gently shaking our son awake. There was a loud screech and yelling of “Daddy! Daddy you’re home!”
Ronan attacked his father, wrapping his arms around his neck. Spencer picked him up and walked back over towards me. He showed Ronan the sweaters and our son just thought that they were the best thing ever by the look on his face.
I looked down at the bags at my feet which contained way more Christmas decorations we had room for. Spencer noticed me looking and said, “I thought we could visit my mom this weekend and decorate her room with what we don’t use here.”
I thought my heart was gonna explode. This man is so caring and loving and I swear looking at him holding our son and love evident on his face I knew I would continue to love this man for the rest of my life. I nodded and smiled, “Oh course honey, of course.”
Spencer’s grin only grew. He started to bounce Ronan who giggled in return, “Who’s ready to decorate?” Ronan squealed in his arms and shouted, “MEEEEE!”
Spencer put him down and they grabbed the bags Spencer had dropped on the floor and raced to the living room where they dumped the bags contents on the couch.
I walk in a little less as excited knowing we still haven’t put the Halloween decorations away, “Spencer honey are you forgetting something?” He looks at me questioningly and I only point at the skeleton standing in the corner and the fake pumpkins lining the fireplace mantle. He smiles and gives me a wink, “Oh those are staying.” This of course draws out even more excitement from the little boy at his side. They are so much alike with their mop of brown curls, love of learning, and love of all things spooky. I just take it all in at stride and decide to set the mood with some Christmas music.
30 minutes pass and we have our tree up and tinsel lining the kitchen island. I begin to hum with the song playing as I place ornaments on the tree. Spencer and Ronan are in the process of placing lights and a Santa hat on our lovely skeleton friend. Ronan begins to sing while he works and decides to change the lyrics, “Have yourself a spooky little Christmas.” This makes his father so happy and from then on out we no longer say Merry Christmas.
------
A week or so passed since we decorated the house. We have not had time to do any other holiday festivities. Of course, Ronan wasn’t missing out due to all the Christmas things he gets to do in school.
It was the first day of the two weeks we get off for the holidays and I made the decision to celebrate and spend time with my little family as much as I possibly could. About the time I had made this said decision, the apartment door flew open and was followed by the pitter patter of little feet and the laugh of my husband.
They came into the kitchen where I had been since they left to get breakfast. Ronan had a serious look on his face as he said, “Mommy, we need to leave right now!”
I was a little concerned, but one look at Spencer’s face told me all I needed to know. They had concocted a plan and it all started with this conversation with my favorite little boy.
“Oh, we do? And why is that honey?” I asked while trying not to let a smile slip and break my serious composer.
“If we don’t leave right now then we’ll miss Santa at the Christmas festival!”, he leans in and whispers the best he can, “If we miss Sant then Daddy will be grumpy and we don’t like him when he’s grumpy.”
Spencer of course still hears him, and snorts and I can’t hold back my smile any longer, “Oh we definitely don’t want that. Let me grab my coat.”
This brought a loud squeal from Ronan who launched himself into his father’s arm who also started to squeal in excitement.
Once we arrived at the festival my attention was locked on all the beautiful Christmas lights and decorations. There was breathy ‘wow’ to my right, and I looked to see the two most important people in my life staring at the lights and decorations with their eyes wide and mouths agape. They were both so mesmerized that I was able to catch the child like wonder on both their faces in a picture that I would cherish forever.
I had just enough time to put my phone away before Ronan snapped out of it and said, “Okay Mommy, Daddy. This is our game plan. First, we find hot chocolate. Second, find Santa.” He put his little hand in the air between us and we laid ours on top of his and as soon as he said “Break!” Spencer scooped him up and our little Christmas mission was ago.
We had managed to drink two cups of hot chocolate each by the time it was our turn with Santa. Ronan was so excited he could hardly stay still. When they told him, it was his turn he all but ran to sit in Santa’s lap. When Santa asked what he wanted for Christmas, Ronan thought for a moment and then leaned and whispered in his ear. Whatever he told Santa made him let out a gleeful ‘HO HO HO’.
Once we were a little ways away with Ronan holding mine and Spencer’s hands as we walked, he asked, “Would you guys like to know what I asked for?”
Spencer smiled down at him, “Only if you want to tell us buddy.”
“I asked for a little brother or little sister. I think I would be a good big brother.” He said with a huge smile. I looked at Spencer who was already looking at me. We smiled and said in unison, “You sure would.”.
We found a little café to have lunch and as we ate, I watched as Spencer and Ronan discussed where we would go next. I couldn’t help but to feel overwhelmed with love knowing my husband goes above and beyond for our son because he loves him so much, he wants him to have everything he didn’t as a child. And in return Ronan all but worshipped his father.
----
It’s Christmas Eve and our apartment is full of laughter and flying flour. Spencer and Ronan’s chestnut curls look as if they have frosted tips. I let out a laugh at how cute they are, “You guys are a mess!”
“Mommy your hair is white too!” Ronan and Spencer snorted at my shocked reaction. I hadn’t realized how much I had been hit in the crossfire.
“Okay that’s it I am never letting you two back in the kitchen.” I said with a pointed look. This just caused a whine from both the boys. I of course responded with throwing more flour at them both.
Cookies were finally in the oven and I was able to talk the boys into helping me clean up the kitchen. Ronan was bringing me the dishes to put in the dishwasher and he seemed to be deep in thought. Spencer noticed this also and paused in wiping off the counter to ask, “Hey bud, what’s on your mind?”
Ronan handed me the bowl he was holding and turned towards his dad, “How does Santa visit us? We don’t have a chin tea.”
Spencer’s face twisted in confusion and then his genius brain caught up, “Oh chimney. Well me and Santa go way back. We grew up together, and so I gave him a key so he could make sure you got all your presents.”
Ronan smiled really big and made the ‘come here’ motion with his finger. Spencer squatted down in front of him and Ronan place his hand on Spencer’s cheek and said, “You are a very good Daddy.”
Tear swelled in Spencer’s eyes and he wrapped our little boy in a hug. All I could do was clutch my heart and smile with tears in my eyes. They stayed like that a few minutes until the oven timer went of and Ronan detached himself from Spencer and yelled, “COOKIES!”
-----
Waking up slowly, stretching with the sun shining through the window onto your face. That’s the ideal way to wake up. But that is not how Spencer and I woke up on Christmas Day.
I was brought out of my blissful sleep by a tiny foot in my rib cage which was connected to a little boy screaming, “SANT CAME! SANTA CAME!”
Spencer and I both groaned, but Spencer was awake a lot faster than I was. He scooped Ronan up and started running to the living room screaming a long with the boy in his arms. I followed close behind wondering how they have so much energy so early in the morning.
Once we were all in the living room Spencer started giving Ronan his gifts one at a time. After opening every gift Ronan would say, “This is the best present ever!”. This of course made us giggle.
Seeing the joy all over Ronan’s face and all over Spencer’s as he watched our son was the best gift I could have ever asked for.
After a long day of opening and playing with gifts we all curled up on the couch to watch Ronan’s favorite Christmas movie, A Nightmare Before Christmas. Ronan was curled up in my lap with his head on Spencer’s lap. Spencer looked at me then at the boy in our laps. I looked over at him as he was running a hand through Ronan’s curls in a calming manner. He looked at me and said with a smile, “I would never want to spend a spooky little Christmas with anyone else.” He kissed my head and I curled up into his side pulling our son closer to us. I never wanted Christmas to be over.
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Taglist: @criminalmindzjunkie​ @brooklynxnicole​ @hendersonsshadow​ @homoose​
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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years ago
Note
Billy has to stick up for max a lot because of her autism, at school he walks to her class and their afraid of him because just,,, look at him
warnings for mentions of bullying and ableism.
It isn’t easy to make Maxine Mayfield cry.
At least, Billy had almost never seen her shed a tear in the six years he’d known her but maybe two times: once when she was still little, and just learned her step-family was going to move into her house and replace her real dad forever, and once when she was told they would be leaving California. Both times she’d run off to her room and slammed the door before anyone could see, but Billy had noticed. He always did when it came to Max. Had to when he knew damn well how much trouble he’d be in if things went wrong while he was watching her.
Beyond that there were a few teary eyed looks that got wiped away, maybe a sniffle she’d try to cover up by complaining about her allergies, but it was very rare, even during meltdowns, that she’d be full on crying, tears streaming down her face so quickly she couldn’t wipe them away while sobs wrack through her and make her shake.
So Billy knows first thing that something is very, very wrong when she’s already at his car after school, her face buried in her balled up jacket and doing exactly that. He can hear her from outside the car, so he sighs and knocks on the window before he yanks the door open, but Max doesn’t even flinch, just curls up tighter in the passenger seat and ignores him.
That’s a bad sign too, the fact she isn’t even trying to hide it from him, “What’s a’matter Maxi?”
“None of your business.” She snaps at him, voice thick and wet with tears. It’s unfamiliar seeing her like that and it makes Billy feel tense ang guilt even though he didn’t do it this time, so he tries, “Come on. It totally is my business. You get tears on my leather seats n’the salt’ll stain ‘em up, and you’ll be the one to clean it up.”
All it gets from Max is another heavy sob, instantly hitting him with a pang of regret for trying to be light about this, “Shit. M’sorry, Maxi. Didn’t mean it like that. Just tryin’ ta make you smile.”
“Well it didn’t work!” Max sniffles, throwing her jacket on the dash and finally turning to look at Billy, face flushed red and tracked with tears, her bottom lip still wobbling, “I’ll never ever smile again..”
“Why not? I know it’s not just because of your dumbass brother.” Billy sees a twitch at the corner of her lip, the slightest hint of a smile at him insulting himself, and he counts that as a small win, a sign he’s getting at least a little bit through to Max, so he prompts her again, “What happened at school today, Max?”
Her gaze drops to her lap, and she shrugs her shoulders slightly, stiffly, as she mumbles an explanation, “Remember how I told you about that boy, who's mean to me and my friends?”
“‘Course I do. I never forget anythin’ you tell me.”
Max wipes her nose on her sleeve, and corrects him, “Except for when you forgot I told you I had AV club and you came in the school looking for me and then you got stuck talking to a teacher for like, three hours after I was done.”
“Yeah, well that was one time. N’I was already havin’ a bad day when you told me, thank you very much.” He encourages her, his face serious though their tone is light-hearted, “Keep goin’, what’d this kid do now?”
Again Max’s features close off, and she tries to lie, “He was just.. Well it was my fault.. I-I don’t know.”
“Max. I need the truth.”
Talking fast, like she’s fighting against her thoughts, she makes him promise, “Promise me you won’t do anything dumb, first.”
Billy lifts a hand from the steering wheel, “I won’t. Cross my heart, Maxi.”
At this point, in the silence that builds while Max wills herself to speak, Billy starts to drive, since it’s clear he won’t be going back into that school. It isn’t lost on him the way Max takes a deep breath, out of relief that he meant it when he said he wasn’t going to be dumb and march back in there.
Quickly, once she’s ready, she explains, “Okay. Well he kinda sort of told me that I was annoying ‘cause I laugh too much, and I told him it was just a stim n’that I couldn’t help it but he said that made me a baby and I told him I wasn’t and he called me a retard instead and I was already stressed so I started crying like a dumb baby and he laughed at me and none of my friends said anything or helped me and I just.. yeah.”
All Billy can do is raise his eyebrows, has about a hundred and one pissy and angry things he could say, but he doesn’t utter a word, because he doesn’t want to make Max more upset than she already is.
Clearly just the change in his expression spooks her though, because she insists, sounding like she could cry again at any second, “You promised me!”
He puts his hands up sort of defensively, though he has to grab the wheel again when the car veers, swallowing his anger to tell her calmly, “I didn’t even say anything. I promised I’d be nice and I’m gonna keep that promise.”
She nods hesitantly, more to show trust than agreement, so Billy continues, “But Maxi that’s.. bad. Why don’t you tell a teacher or some shit?”
“Yeah, like they would even do anything. They already hate me for being in their coed classes.” Max mumbles the last part, looking away, “They’d probably rather Troy beat me up so I wouldn’t be bothering them anymore.”
“Tell me you’re being dramatic.”
But Max just shrugs again.
“Fuck, I hate this fucking place.” Billy tears his eyes from the road to look Max in the eyes as she says it, even knowing she can’t return the gesture, “You know you don’t deserve to go through this shit, Maxi?”
“It.. is kinda my fault though.”
He lashes out, just a little, hearing her talk like that about herself. Because it’s not fair that a thirteen year old girl looks at herself that way, yeah, but also because he knows it’s in some ways his fault too, and their parents for the way she’d been brought up, and the shit she'd been around that she even thinks to say shit like that.
He hits the palm of his hand against the rim of his steering wheel, rather he goes to before he catches himself, slowing it before it really hits, tapping it more than anything, “No the fuck it isn’t. It’s nobody’s fault but the assholes that make it into a problem. And fucking Neil’s for dragging us to this close-minded little spot on the map. I hate this fucking town”
“Oh.” Is all Max says.
Billy waits, but he can see she doesn’t know what else to say, so he sighs, “Look, I made my promise to you. Can you make one for me now?”
Max looks confused, “Okay?”
“Promise me that the next time somebody says some shit to you, you stand up for yourself.” Max scrunches up her face, like she immediately disagrees with that, but Billy insists, “Look, I don’t care if you’re crying like a damn baby or you can’t even talk while you do it, just don’t let ‘em walk all over you like that again.”
“I’m not fighting anyone, Billy. I’m not.. like you.”
“That’s not what I said. I said to stand up for yourself. It’s different.”
“Yeah right. How am I supposed to do that?” Billy knows that some asshole had to have said that to Max, that for whatever bullshit reason she couldn’t stick up for herself. Damn kid can’t catch a break in life, so he tells her, at this point not sure if this is even advice or just him ranting at Max, “This kid calls you a slur again, tell ‘im at least you got the diagnosis. Make him feel like he’s the stupid one. And if a teacher ever pulls some shit about the way you learn, tell ‘em you’ll go to the board of education and personally get their asses fired. Your mom would fight for you.”
“No she wouldn’t.”
“Then dammit I would. Your friends would if they understood. I know Sinclair would kick ass for you.”
Max’s toughness finally cracks- she learned that from him, to put on that hard exterior and fake it- Billy's determination stronger than her stubbornness. She looks up at him with a look in her eye that says he’s said all the right things, “You really think so?”
“No shit. Big brothers know all about this kind of bull.”
“I guess.” Max smiles just a little, and tells him matter-of-factly, “But you’re not that kind of big brother. You’re too cool.”
“Hell yeah I am.” Billy hums proudly, adding with humor in his tone, “But it’s even more cool to be nice to your little sister than it is to be an asshole. Remember that one.”
Max nods, listing it off on her fingers, “Stand up for myself, but don’t be an asshole, and Billy's secretly a big softie. I think I got it.”
“Good. Now out of my car, shitbird.”
Giggling in that way that says she knows she got him, Max swings open her door and runs into the house, leaving Billy to watch after her. He turns off the car but doesn’t get out, trying to bury his worry for her under his expression, not because he didn’t care, or even because he didn’t want her to know, he was long past that, but because he was worried what would happen if Susan saw his concern.
She’d weasel the truth out of Max if she knew something was up, and somehow, despite her promises, Neil would find out once he dragged his ass back home from the bar later tonight, and then it would somehow be Billy’s fault. He just hopes, if Max lets slip about the bullying, she at least doesn’t get too mouthy and mention the part where she was crying.
That was a Friday when that all went down, so Billy has the weekend, which thankfully does not include any snitching, to decide what he’s going to do about it. It’s not like he was ever going to go beat up on any tweens anyways, but he promised Max he wouldn’t be dumb, and he knew that meant no passive aggressive bullshit either. At least not while she could see him.
Because that ruled out like, half of his options, he’s still kind of clueless on what he’s going to do that next Monday morning when schools back in. He’s sitting in the middle school parking lot, fingers twitching against the steering wheel without a cigarette to busy them with, waiting for 7:30 on the dot when Max always goes in.
At this point, he’s considering just ditching with her to go get ice cream or something so she doesn’t have to face any bullies today, but his epiphany comes in the form of watching Jonathan Byers walk the littler one all the way to the front doors, his hand protectively hooked through the handle on the kid’s backpack. When the clock ticks the right time and Max opens her door, he knows what he’s going to do, and he turns the car off.
She freezes, can tell he’s up to something. “What are you doing?”
“Nothin’. M’just walking you in.” She glares at him in response to the smug smile he wears, so he swears, “Honest. I got basketball today. No way I’m missing that shit ‘cause I fought some little kid.”
“You’re lying.”
“Can’t I just be nice to my little sister?”
From the look on her face, she’s still skeptical, but it's enough to get Max to agree to it, grabbing her bag from the backseat and mumbling, “Whatever. Just don’t embarrass me.”
Billy chuckles, giving Max a head start towards the building before he follows, “Hey now, I thought just yesterday I was your cool older brother.”
“Cool older brothers don’t walk their sisters to the door.” She calls it over her shoulder, and Billy can’t help but tease her more, correcting her in a sing-songy voice, “Who said I was stoppin’ at the door? I’m walking you all the way to your class.”
“Oh god.” Max stops walking, but Billy keeps up, this time pulling ahead enough to call back to her, “Come on shitbird. Don’t wanna be late.”
“I hate you so much.”
“Yeah, right. You love that I would take the time outta my morning to do this for you.” He props open the door for Max with his boot, pretending not to notice the way all the little middle school kids at their lockers turn to gawk at them, letting her shove past him with her face flushed deeper than the color of her hair in embarrassment.
Pulling on her backpack straps, like she’s trying to physically make herself smaller, she mumbles, “No, I actually hate you.”
He almost feels bad for embarrassing her, but that’s the other part of his job, and he reminds her of that, “Good. There’s some more advice for ya, little sisters should always hate their big brothers, or he’s doing something wrong.”
They get a little ways down the hall, Max’s confidence going up just some as the shock wears off and people start to turn away, but Billy hardly notices. He doesn’t even come close to being bothered by eighth grade politics anymore, and if he’s intimidating the poor kids, well that’s exactly what he’s there for.
When he’s met with a particularly harsh glare from some snob nosed brat, who happens to remind him a lot of one Tommy Hagan, he bumps into Max on purpose, and announces louder than he needs to in hopes the kid’ll know he was looking for him, “That the little asshole s’been givin’ you trouble?”
Glancing nervously between him and Billy, she nods, “Yeah..”
Billy just nods, a cross between acknowledgment and judgement, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You said-“ Again Max panics, but Billy cuts her off this time with a simple assurance of, “And I didn’t do anything.”
Her eyebrows knit together, realizing that that wasn’t a lie, “I.. guess you didn’t.”
“What’s your first class anyways?”
“We report to the cafeteria before first period.” She informs him, leading him that way, but he hooks two fingers through the strap on her bag to stop her, “Not gonna happen, Maxi. Being shoved in a tiny room with three hundred other kids makes you feel all ‘meltdowny’ I think was your exact word. So you’re not doin’ that anymore. I just decided.”
“But that’s against the rules.”
“Yeah, so’s me bein’ in this building during school hours, but nobody’s saying shit to me, are they?”
Max narrows her eyes at him then, and he knows he said too much, that he’s been found out, “That’s your plan isn’t it.”
There’s a crooked smile on his face he can’t hide as he plays innocent-like, “What is?”
Max pushes him a little and he pretends to misstep while she accuses him, “Coming into school and being all intimidating so nobody will bug me anymore.”
“Pfft, yeah right.” Billy denies again, getting nothing but an eye roll in response at first, but when it’s clear it’s he’s not going to give up and admit it, Max does, glancing shortly over at him, “Well thanks anyways, Billy.”
She adds, realizing he’s wandering with no idea where they’re going, having never been in the middle school himself, “My first class is in B-18.”
“Which one is’at?” He asks, just curious, but Max deflects the question, giving a short, “It’s taught by Mr. Clarke.”
Just from how quiet she is, Billy can tell that she's hiding something, “Max. You seriously don’t even know what class you’re in?”
“No I don’t, okay?” Max stops in the middle of the hallway, ranting at her brother, “It’s already not the same as my old school, and then they moved my schedule all around again after they decided I didn’t qualify for special ed, so now I just go where I’m s’posed to, and I know my teachers better than my classes.”
“And you didn’t tell anyone, did you?”
“No. There’s nothing anyone can do so it doesn’t matter.” Her tone implies she thought a lot about it, maybe even wanted to, but decided not to.
Billy insists right back, these past two days feeling like he’s constantly petitioning for Max to trust and rely on him, “Oh I could do somethin’. You know I could.”
“I do. But I don’t want you to. Sticking up for me is enough.”
That’s what makes Billy understand. The firmness in her voice says everything she needs him to hear: Max doesn’t want Billy to do for her what she can handle. This is bigger than just being the older brother. This is her setting boundaries, asking for help without wanting to be controlled. That’s something he never really got how to do, being raised by a dictator and all, but it’s something she needs. Sometimes he forgets that.
He doesn’t say anything else, just lets it sit while Max takes him down some stairs to the right room. She stops outside, scuffing up the dusty marble floors with the toe of her Chuck Taylor’s, “Could you.. stick around for a little bit in case he says something?”
Billy clicks his tongue, remarking, “I dunno. I got a class in a few..”
But his sarcasm falls short with Max, which, that’s his bad for not realizing that it would, and her face falls, “Oh, well I guess I can just-”
“Was just funnin’ you shitbird. I don’t give a fuck about my classes.” Max grimaces in that all too familiar way of uncertainty, so he promises, “I’ll be right out here. Go talk to your teacher, ‘n if he says some shit to you, remember I only promised not be stupid about the bully.”
He at least gets a smile for that one, before Max rolls her eyes, “You’re not fighting my science teacher, dummy.”
“Whatever. Just get in there, brat.”
He can see Max holding back a smile as she listens, bounding into her classroom with another quick glance back at Billy to check that he wasn’t lying and going to walk away.
Billy waits until the door fall closed to lean against the row of lockers opposite it, watching her through the little meshed over windows. By now, he’s pretty well versed on what arguments with angry authority figures look like, and the conversation between Max and her teacher is not one. He still stays though, just because Max asked him to, but maybe, just maybe a little for himself, a reassurance that the second he leaves shit isn’t going to get worse, and Max’ll have at least someone other than her equally as nerdy little friends behind her.
Then they both turn and give him a little wave, Max and her teacher, an acknowledgment to Billy that this new routine was indeed going to work out. The way the school district had handled everything else, he wonders if the guy even knew Max wasn’t like his other students until now.
Still, seeing that, Billy gives a half nod in response, and decides his job is done here, at least until tomorrow when he does the same. Max’ll get used to it, and his hope is that the little bully brats won’t. He’ll just have to keep them on their toes.
Which is exactly why, while on his way out, Billy has to break his promise to Max, just slightly, and do something dumb. He finds the Troy kid again, and waits until the little punk is at his peak to knock him down a few pegs.
He’s complaining about some teacher, which is pretty typical for a thirteen-fourteen year old kid, but the other things he’s said to Max make it not as relatable, not as innocent. So he does what any logical, mature adult would do, and scares the piss out of him.
Billy waits until the kid gets a laugh from his troop of assholes, and slams the locker door beside him shut, uncaring of who’s it was. All eyes are quickly on him, all too wide against too pale faces. It’s too easy.
“What are you little shits whining about over here?”
The one in charge steps forward, trying to be tough despite the way he has to practically bend backwards to look up at Billy’s face, “None of your business. Did the freak send you after us to scare us? It ain’t gonna work.”
“Oh I’m not here to scare you. I’m just here to give you your final warning. We’re past the point of intimidation. Matter of fact, next time I have to come here.. it won’t be looking so good for you.”
“You’re lying.” The kid accuses, despite the obvious doubt written behind his features.
Billy can work with that.
“I might be. But I’m still an authority figure over your sorry little asses, and if you don’t start respecting that..” He bends down a little further, still nowhere near the kid but making his whole troupe flinche back, and drops his pitch, “well, I can’t promise what’ll happen to ya, but unlike your teachers, I don’t play by the rules. You got that?”
Straightening himself back out, Billy pretends to start walking away before he adds, “Oh, and if you pick on my kid sister ever again, I will know. Just remember that, uh, Troy was it?”
The kid nods dumbly, literally vibrating with something like fear, and Billy can say he’s pretty satisfied with that. He pats the kid on the shoulder, a touch so gentle it wouldn’t’ve hurt a fly, and notably couldn’t get him in any trouble, but the little shit scampers off, three other puffy head bullies trailing after him.
Everyone sees it happen, Billy with his nasty smirk and his distinguishably high-schooler way of carrying himself, Troy running for the hills in the other direction. He leaves feeling like his point has been thoroughly proven.
It isn’t easy to make Maxine Mayfield cry, but it’s even harder to get away with it, and Billy knows it won’t be a problem from now on.
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serendipityseulgi · 4 years ago
Text
8 Ways of Love;
— park seonghwa
according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:
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・*:༅。 the one known as pragma, the enduring love.
aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find. 
8 ways of love series; version i
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A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between. 
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love catalyst: the subconscious.
At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.
“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.
“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.
“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.
“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.
“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.” 
“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”
Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.
After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs. 
“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body. 
Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox. 
The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.
“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.
Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.
For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.
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 At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.
“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.
“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”
“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.
“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you. 
His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life. 
When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.
“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed. 
Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.
“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.
You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.
“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”
“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”
“Like what?!” 
“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.
“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”
“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.
You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.
“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.
“Oh god, you still remember that?” 
Of course you do. 
“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.” 
He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend. 
“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you. 
“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”
His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”
“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.
“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh. 
You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.
“What if we break up... like eventually?” 
You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”
“That easy?”
“That easy.” you nod. 
“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.
“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.
You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend. 
In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.
Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.
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At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time. 
seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm
y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :( 
plsssssss
i’m sorry
can u let me come over and talk to u
Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.
You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.
you; delivered 4:26 pm
no
i’m mad at u.
seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm
:(
you; delivered 4:27 pm
can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me
seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm
ouch.
Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.
you; delivered 4:28 pm
ur actually annoying
seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm
ya ik i am
but yk what i’m not
someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them
so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize
stop being a meanie and let me say sorry
Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way. 
You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.
“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”
“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”
“What? No! Of course not!” he panics. 
“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”
“That wasn’t my intention-”
“Were you trying to make me mad?”
“No, y/n.”
“Did you do it to make me jealous?”
“No!”
“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”
“I don’t know, okay!”
“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh. 
“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong. 
“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”
Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.
“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don’t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”
Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”
“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.
“Do you mean it?” you ask.
He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.
“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.
“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.
“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.
“Me too.”
“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.” he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.
“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”
“Okay.”
And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.
So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.
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At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.
“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.
“Seonghwa...”
“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.
Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.
“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.
“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.
“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.
“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.
You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.
“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.
“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving. 
You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him. 
“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.
“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”
Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.
You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.
You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.
“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before. 
He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.
“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”
“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.
“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.
And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.
You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.
It felt like home.
His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.
Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell. 
“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.
He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”
“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss. 
"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.
You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”
“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips. 
“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust. 
And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy. 
“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you  know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”
You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you. 
And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.
“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you. 
So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him. 
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At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.
You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.
While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another. 
Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.
It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.
Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.
The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates. 
But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.
You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.
“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his. 
“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry. 
“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement. 
You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.
You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.
“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.
“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”
“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.
“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”
As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.
You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.
Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”
Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.
“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.
You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.
You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”
Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.
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At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half. 
Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.
And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.
“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.
“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture. 
“I missed you mom.” you say.
“And I missed you even more.” 
You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.
“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.
“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.
“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.
“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.
“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”
“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.
After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement. 
“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.
“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.
“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.
“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.
And you meant it, truly. 
You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him. 
You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules. 
Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.
“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.
“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.
“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.
As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.
You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.
But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.
On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much. 
Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him. 
You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.
And then you see him.
His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.
“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly. 
“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.
“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”
“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.
“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.
“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.
“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.
“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.
“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.
“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.
“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”
“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.
You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.
“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”
You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.
“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.
“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.
“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”
“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.
“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.
“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.
“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.
“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.
“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.
“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her. 
Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.
Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation. 
Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too. 
Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.
“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.
“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.
“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.
“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees. 
“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.
“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”
“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.
The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it. 
But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another. 
This was a good thing.
At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.
“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.
“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?” 
“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”
You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”
His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.
Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another. 
The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you. 
And the kind of love that’s okay with it.
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At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.
It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.
It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.
“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.
“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.
“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused. 
“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.
“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”
“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.
You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.
The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home. 
“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.
“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you. 
“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.
“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.
“Wait, you and Rosé...” 
He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”
“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”
“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”
You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”
Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”
“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”
“That’s good.” he smiles softly. 
“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.
“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.
When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.
“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table. 
The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories. 
After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup. 
“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving. 
“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.
“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.
“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”
“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.
A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.
“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.
“Of course.”
“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”
You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.
“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”
Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.
“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.
“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.
When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.
“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.
“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.
You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.
“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”
You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.
Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia. 
“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.
“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.” 
Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home. 
“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”
You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.
“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”
You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.
It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire. 
Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.
The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you. 
The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.
It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.
You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time. 
“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.
“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”
So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.
It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.
It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.
The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.
You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.
“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.
“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.
“What’s on your mind?” he asks.
Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.
“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.
“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.
“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” 
You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly. 
He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.
“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”
Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.
“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.
“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit. 
He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.
“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.
“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”
It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.
“You don’t have to then.” he states.
“I don’t?”
“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.
And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.
You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. 
“Okay, let’s get back together.”
So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.
And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.
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And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.
And you finally marry him.
"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.” 
“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.” 
“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”
You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.
Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember. 
You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.
You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.
And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.
When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”
“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.
"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?” 
“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.
"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”
“I do.” you respond beaming.
"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.” 
“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.
"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”
“...For better for worse...”
 “For richer for poorer...”
“...In sickness and in health...”
“...To love and to cherish...”
“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”
“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.
“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”
You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”
"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”
“...For better for worse...”
“For richer for poorer...”
“...In sickness and in health...”
“...To love and to cherish...”
“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”
“Till death do us apart.”
As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another. 
“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”
And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.
“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.
“I love you so much.” you say.
“And I love you even more.” he returns.
So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time. 
And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”
Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.
LA FIN.
590 notes · View notes
luvlyuno · 4 years ago
Text
alone (m)
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What happens when your crush offers to let you stay a few nights but plans take a turn?
Pairing: Huening Kai & Female OC
[ft. TXT Soobin & Yeonjun, NCT Na Jaemin, ITZY Lia & Yuna]
Genre: Suspense, Little Angst, Ballet AU
Warning: Sexual Assualt, Rape, Arguing, Trust issues, Suicide
Word Count: 2.0k
Note: first post~
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“And 1. And 2” The girl leaped from point one to point two. Feeling the melody of the classical song. Her dance partner lifted her body off the ground, bringing her to a full 360 degree. “Great job Sujin. Impressive like always” The instructor complimented as the team finished practice. Sujin’s face turned into a light shade of pink, quickly thanking her instructor before scurrying to her bag to pack everything up.
“Hey Sujin, Miss Park wants to speak to you in her office.” Lia, a fellow member of the ballet academy said. The girl put her phone down walking over to the office surrounded by windows. “Miss Park, you called me?” Miss Park stood up from her desk with an envelope in her hand. “Look what I found in the mail.” The elder woman handed the thick envelope to Sujin. “It’s from Saebom School of Arts.” She commented. A layer of moisture grew on Sujin’s hands. Her hands started shaking as well. “Open it when you get home.” Miss Park lightly patted the girl on the shoulder as she walked outside back into the studio.
“Why did Miss Park call you in?” Yuna, another teammate and friend of Sujin asked. “She gave me this envelope from Saebom.” Yuna’s mouth was in an ‘o’ shape. “Well, I got to go. Someone was calling you by the way. Don’t forget to text me!” Her friend yelled running out of the door of the studio. Sujin giggled a bit, walking off to her slightly open duffle bag. The girl knelt, picking up her phone from her bag. A notification from the boy that she’s head over heels flashed on the screen. “Kai Jung.” She said under her breath. The two lovers met over summer dance camp. Kai was from a different ballet studio a couple of hours away from Sujin’s. They met by being paired up for a boy and girl dance duet at camp. Later growing mutual feelings for each other. She unlocked her phone immediately by pressing on the messaging app. Sujin typed away on her phone telling Kai that she will call him when she got home from the studio. Before leaving Sujin waved goodbye to her ballet instructor and went off to catch the next bus.
“Next Stop: District 9” Sujin got up from her seat walking out of the bus. She watched as the stores along the sidewalk turned on their neon lines. Shining through the darkness of Seoul. Sujin sighed heavily as a quick shiver ran down her back. Sooner than she thought, Sujin was already home ready for dinner. “Sujin’s home!” The girl’s older brother, Jaemin said, sliding through the hallway of their house. Sujin smiled as she took her shoes off. “Mom!” She yelled from the Mudroom. “Miss Park gave me this envelope from Saebom.” She made her way to the kitchen. “She told me to open it at home.” Mrs. Na hummed in response while stirring the soup for dinner. Sujin slowly opened the thick envelope, taking the piece of paper out.
“Oh my god.” She gasped, clasping her hand to her mouth. “I got in! OMG, I GOT IN JAEMIN!” She squealed like a pig. The girl jumped in excitement, her once low bun undoing.” Jaemin hugged his sister. “Congrats sis! You got into your dream school! She nodded, smiling from ear to ear. Sujin turned to look at her Mom who had no emotion written on her face. Sujin’s smile dropped to a confused look. “Mom? What’s wrong” Her Mother looked up. “Isn’t this too much? Ballet is a hobby, not a career.” Mrs. Na questioned. “Mom, Sujin has plans ready for herself. She planned to be a professional ballerina and have a side business like what she has now.” Jaemin stuck up for his little sister. Sujin was on the verge of tears from all the arguing. “And!? What is that gonna help her in the future? I TOLD YOU TO BECOME A LAWYER-'' Mrs. Na was cut off. “BEING A LAWYER WAS YOUR DREAM NOT MINE! I CHOOSE WHAT I WANT TO BECOME IN THE FUTURE NOT YOU!”
Sujin then stormed off to her bedroom. Tears streaming down her face. Jaemin’s eyes following hers. “Wow, Mom. The time when you’re supposed to be a ‘supportive mother figure’ has gone to waste.” Jaemin ran after Sujin leaving their Mother dumbfounded. Sujin sat on her bed as she cried rivers. A sudden knock was heard. She didn’t feel like opening it, so she ignored the knocking. “Sujin it’s me Jaemin. Can I come in?” She stayed silent. “I’ll just take that as a yes.” Jaemin walked in taking a seat next to her.
“Why can’t Mom just understand that this is what I want for me in the future? What did I do for her to act like this? I don’t want to be under the same roof as her right now” Sujin complained as tears spilled out more. Jaemin sighed. “I honestly don’t know how to respond to this but I support you. Dad would support you too.” He smiled trying to brighten the mood. Sujin’s lips curled a little making Jaemin feel a little satisfied. “I’ll give you some alone time. I know you’ll probably trap yourself in here till she apologies, so text or call me if you need anything.” Then he left, leaving Sujin giggling a bit. Her phone started ringing all of a sudden.
Her phone lit up with the contact name Kai <3 on it. “Hello? Kai?” Her voice was raspy from all the crying. “Hi, Sujin! A-are you okay? You sound sick.” Sujin softly giggled at how Kai was worried for her. “I just got into an argument with my Mom. I don’t want to be here right now.” She pouted. “Wanna stay the weekend at my Grandma’s house with me? She lives near you. Same town.” Kai offered. He was planning to surprise her but plans took a turn. “Oh please, you’re a lifesaver Kai!” She smiled through the phone. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon. Around 4 pm.” Kai happily said. The two eventually hung up. Sujin laid down bored out of her mind. Until Jaemin barged into her room.
“Well, dinner was super awkward. Mom was just ranting to Dad the whole time but bro was like I support her.” Sujin puffed out a little chuckle. “Did you just call Dad bro?” Jaemin just shrugged then left her room. The next morning everything was so strange to Sujin. Maybe it was the fact that her Mom didn’t open her windows while she was sleeping. Or that breakfast wasn’t pre-made for Jaemin and her. Sujin rose packing her bags getting ready to stay at Kai’s Grandma’s house for a few days. She has informed Jaemin that she was going to sleep over at her friend Yuna’s place for a couple of days. Her phone buzzed on the nightstand. Kai texted.
“I won’t be able to pick you up. I hate to help my Grandma cook, so my cousins Soobin and Yeonjun will pick you if that’s okay?” Sujin replied with a quick okay then continued her packing. It was a little over 4 pm when Kai’s cousins Yeonjun and Soobin arrived to pick her up. “How did you and Kai meet? He’s never really had a girlfriend.” Yeonjun commented. Sujin was shocked at the assumption of the two dancers dating. “Oh u-um, we’re not dating. We’re just friends nothing more.” She blushed at the thought. “Hmm.” Soobin replied. The drive there was quite longer than she thought. That’s until Soobin offered to give her something.
“Hey Sujin, we just came from the store before picking up. Want some of these candies we bought?” It would be rude to decline so Sujin agreed. After a few sour gummies, she started to feel dizzy. Then everything went black. Sujin woke up in an unfamiliar room with a locked door and a glued shut window. What in the world happened? Dark thoughts polluted her brain.
“Oh! You’re awake.” In came Soobin but no sight of Yeonjun. “Where’s Kai? Are we here already?” She cluelessly asked not even noticing the object in the male’s hand. Soobin got closer to Sujin, inches away from her face. She was caught off guard. His eyes piercing through her soul. “G-get away from me!” She stuttered pushing him away. A smirk grew on his face. “I’m not gonna do anything to you.” She raised an eyebrow feeling the uneasy energy in the room. “How am I supposed to trust you?” Sujin slowly walked backward. Soobin follows as she moves. “I promise.” Soobin injected her with some type of liquid in her right arm in just a blink of an eye. To Sujin the room started spinning. She felt weak but a sudden burst of unusual energy burst. Soobin’s lip curled as he watched transform into a different state of mind.
“Yeonjun come in here.” The pink-haired boy Yeonjun walked into the room, eyes widening at the scene. Sujin wasn’t acting normal. “C’mon you go first.” Soobin pushed Yeonjun closer to Sujin who was laying on the white mattress. “This is wrong I’m opting out dude.” Soobin chuckled at the scared Yeonjun. “Oh is little Yeonjun scared to do something very bad to this little girl?” Soobin laughed again pushing Yeonjun’s shoulder. “Do it or I’m telling the student body that you’re selling you know what. And that would for sure get you expelled from going to your dream school.” The boy walked closer to Yeonjun who was awfully terrified. Just the threat alone could make Yeonjun do it with hesitation. He knew it was bad but still did what he was told. “Thanks for starting now, let me finish her.”
Soobin said without any emotions. Yeonjun stepped aside as he watched the screaming girl whine and cry. It was so hard for him not to call for help. Yes, he felt guilty for Sujin but reputation goes first in this cruel world. Sujin screamed and screamed for help. The immense pain Sujin didn’t sign up for was never-ending. As much as she tried to fight back or force Soobin to stop he would either reply by slapping her or making the pain worse. “Please Stop.” She whispered weakly. Sujin laid there lifeless.
“Hurry and get back in the car.” Soobin groaned leaving the room. Sujin wept to realize what just happened. She never thought that her first would be a crime. She hurriedly put on her clothes and walked out of the mysterious house. Soobin saw as she sulked all the way out of the house. He didn’t have the patience for this so he picked her up shoving her into the car. The night ride to nowhere was quiet. Besides the silent sobs and choked-up breathing that was coming from Sujin, there wasn’t a single word spoken.
“Get out.” The car came to a stop. Sujin looked up making eye contact with Soobin through the rearview mirror. “I said GET. OUT.” He repeated through his teeth. “Y-you were supposed to bring me to Kai..” She dragged her words. Soobin huffed. “I said get out!” He repeated once again annoyed. His sudden shout made Yeonjun and Sujin flinch. Sujin got out of the car grabbing her belongings. Just as she closes the door, Sujin gets a quick glance at Yeonjun. His facial expression filled with guilt. Seconds later the car left faster than light. Sujin stood there feeling the moonlight shine on her. She was left in the middle of a highway in Seoul. Sujin felt so dirty and disappointed in herself. All the times she tried to stop a car to get home they would just give her a dirty look.
“I could’ve stopped him.” She thought. Just within two days, her life went downhill. She quickly took out her phone typing a quick “I love you, Jaemin.” to her brother. “Doesn’t that bright light seem interesting?” Sujin asked herself. She stepped off the sidewalk. Her feet leading straight to her fate. The sound of honking did not faze her. The bright lights didn’t even make her squint. Sujin Na just kept walking to the middle of the road. Till she wanted to stop.
BREAKING NEWS: 18 YEAR OLD SUJIN NA REPORTED DEAD AT HWY NEO127. CT SCANS FOUND SHE WAS BRUTALLY RAPED BEFORE HER DEATH. CCTV SPOTTED THE TWO PERPETRATORS, SOOBIN CHOI AND YEONJUN CHOI. MORE INFORMATION WILL BE ANNOUNCED...
Jaemin’s shaky eyes rewind again and again. It’s been two years since her suicide. Her soul still lingers on Highway Neo 127.
Sujin Na.
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