#or THE biggest

[pigswithwings]

its true that complimenting strangers is fun and nice. people will go "awwww really" when you say their hair is cute. people will go "thanks" and straighten up a little when you compliment the colors they're wearing. people will say "oh yeah i got it at (place)" if you say a charm on their bag is cool. people really do appreciate it and its very whimsy and you can just do this for free

[stuck-in-jelly]

Seeing a cyber truck in person is truly a bonding experience. Someone parked one of those monstrosities in a no parking zone at work and me and my coworkers gathered like this

[atinymexicanbird]

Ark siblings in all universes 🪐

[teaboot]

Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat

My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten

Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread

But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing

Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby

When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.

The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"

So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag

And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend

Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad

So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did

And he still wasn't great, but he also improved

And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"

And my mother is a woman of science. So she did

And he GOT BETTER

His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion

And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage

Like. He medically NEEDS junk food

I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.

If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE

Also blind, but that's unrelated

Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat

[rpfofficial]

we'll jump off that bridge when we get to it

[wordfather]

*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

[jollymalt]

young zaunites

[frankierotwinkdeath]

Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her

[aimasup]

It's 4am and I can't get this out of my head

[bendgineer]

[pigswithwings]

its kind of really awesome to be a huge fan of ur friends art because then they become famous to you. its not exactly the same as making friends with an artist u already look up to its like if michaelangelo was relatively unknown and posted his art to 1 discord server and his tumblr blog. and you just have to sit there like i need people to understand how cool you are. why aren't you being asked for autographs yet

[hallucxnating]

Room for two more?

[aquilaofarkham]

big shout out to alucard for not going down the classic vampire route of only having one love of his life and instead allowing himself to fall in love as many times as his immortal heart wanted

[rpfofficial]

many will tell you that the dog motif is passé and cliché and overdone . don't listen to them. keep chaining that fictional man to a fence

[wordfather]

me: hey so how far does your 'all-seeing' sight extend?

the many eyed creature in my basement: ARE YOU ASKING BECAUSE YOU TRIPPED ON YOUR OWN SHOELACES IN THE FOYER AND FELL ON YOUR FACE?

me: oh... so you saw that... :(

the many eyed creature (trying to be nice): ................ NO.