#or 2) i havent put them in the queue yet

[anipgarden]

Catch me out here making posts on how to collect milkweed seeds because I'm hoping at least SOMEONE out there has good luck

*collapses to the ground* my fuckin swamp milkweeds got Heat Waved and barely even flowered, let alone got pollinated.... I'll have to see if my root stock ones or Swampy even come back next year, but this year definitely isn't the Year of the Ani Swamp Milkweed Success

[sumbsdrawingblog]

eden's 2023 summary!

there were only 5 weeks this year in which i didn't draw anything! 2 of those weeks i know i can put down to gaming and 1 a depression rut, not sure on the other 2 (probably also the rut realistically) the rules for what counts are also very flexible, there are some weeks where it's just a scribbled line and that's all i could do but i think there are less of those in comparison to last year.

below are two collages of all the drawings i did that i really like, i didn't expect to find so much going through all the files so that was also really nice. also had a lot of moments of 'wait that was this year?'

and below is last years for comparison

it is wild how little there is in the 2022 one... then i remember how much 2022 absolutely sucked! y'know what here's 2021's too where i attempted the monthly format

[gonnahackyourheart]

I posted 102 times in 2022

6 posts created (6%)

96 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hacked-by-jake

@slow-hazel

@incorrectnessduskwood

@duskwoodraven

@gonnahackyourheart

I tagged 67 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#cleaning my drafts into queue - 59 posts

#fanfiction - 6 posts

#duskwood - 3 posts

#dan the man - 2 posts

#alan bloomgate - 2 posts

#so i am playing ep 10 - 2 posts

#finally playing duskwood for ep10 that i havent played yet - 1 post

#xd - 1 post

#🤣🤣 - 1 post

#ducks - 1 post

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#right? they're all anxions but still need to have regular photoshoots

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

😳

(get it, it’s a gif of aurora)

Phil x MC; group x MC

Word count: 799 Reading time: 00:03:11 (says Hemingwayapp)

A/N: I know the ending is rushed, but I didn’t know what to do with it.

(not the one im proud of, just getting it ot after a year)

You’d thought that Duskwood would welcome me with open arms. That I’d step out of the bus into sunny town and go and surprise my friends with a visit. No. It was pouring, the bus was late and my friends weren’t answering.

When I stepped onto the sidewalk near the town’s square, it was already dark. I hid in the opposite house’s entrance and checked my phone. Still no text. I didn’t tell anyone about my trip, I thought I’d surprise them. They planned to go to Aurora tonight, which seemed like a good opportunity to see everyone. So I decided to go right to the bar and try to find them there. Navigating through the town wasn’t that difficult, I had the town's map well memorised. I was in front of the bar in no time.

It was pretty busy at Aurora. I removed my wet coat at the entrance and looked around. There was no familiar face. Except one tall figure behind the bar. I wanted to ignore him and squeeze past him unnoticed, but as on cue, he turned his head towards the door. His shit-eating grin showed that he recognized me immediately. Well, he could know where everybody was.

He served a drink and walked over to me. “Hello beautiful. To what do I owe the pleasure?” “Hi Phil. I heard these woods are great for hikes, thought I’d try it.” “Let me know if you need someone to keep you company. Want a drink?” I nodded. He went away before I could say what I wanted. He was back in seconds. “On the house.” He winked at me as he put a drink in front of me. “How did I deserve that?” I asked. “You came all this way to visit me. I am flattered.” “Wow, am I that see-through?” I asked and sipped the drink. He correctly guessed what I liked, which was impressive. “Do you know where Jessy is?” “She’s in the booth in the corner with everybody else. She didn’t say you were coming” “Because she doesn’t know. You are not fighting anymore?” “We are working on it.” His eyes drifted off behind me for a moment. “I hope it’s not the last time I see you. You still owe me an autograph,” he reminded me of our last and only chat. I didn't have a chance to answer, because someone's arms wrapped around me. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you let me now?” “Jessy!” I gasped and hugged her back. “I wrote to you when I was near Duskwood, but nobody answered.” “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn't check my phone all evening. I can’t wait to introduce you to everyone!” “Wait, I don't want to leave my bag behind,” you pointed towards your backpack at the foot of the stool. She turned to Phil: “Hey, can they leave their bag in the back room?” Phil shrugged. “Fine with me.” “Great!” Jessy exclaimed, grabbed my bag and my hand, and pulled me towards the nearby door. “See you later,“ I threw in Phils direction. “Looking forward to it,” he gave me another wink and turned back to other customers.

It was more quiet in the backroom. Jessy put my bag next to the table. ”Don’t worry, it’s safe here. I hope Phil didn’t bother you.” “We barely talked.” She turned to me and grabbed my hands. “I am really happy you're here,” she beamed at me. “It’s so strange to see you before me. Now you are not only speech bubble anymore” “Well, you should get used to it, I wanna be here for two weeks.” I grinned at her. “That’s awesome.” She squeezed my hands. “But now you have to meet others.”

She led me into the back booth. Richy spotted us first and hopped out of his seat to spin me around. And then I traveled from his arms to another, greeting with everyone. They found me a seat in the middle. The conversation was light spirited from the start, nobody wanted to discuss events of the last two weeks. I felt very comfortable, right in the middle of their teasing and playful bickering. Richy was the one who dragged me onto the dancing floor. We chatted and danced till morning. Or rather Arora's closing hour, which was around one in the morning.

During the night I stole a glance towards the bar, to find Phil looking at me milliseconds later, smiling. ‘This trip will be interesting’ I tought. Then I averted my gaze back to the group. I was so grateful that I could be there with everyone. Sun smiled upon me, despite the rain.

3 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

#4

Jake 🤗

4 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#3

MC, after chatting to a new man is available

7 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#2

What is with Donfort siblings and wanting help from me, calm down guys, there's three of you and only one of me! Gimme a break

7 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

MC, after chatting to a new man is available

11 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[spamtonindangeroussituations]

How far behind are you on requests? I just want to know if my idea was passed over for something funny (cause everyone here is fucking hilarious) or I'm just waitin

ive got 6 that need to be made up(not counting submissions which i usually prioritize for the effort put into them and are all in the queue). if you requested between december 22nd and january 11th it might have been deleted for being sent while i had requests closed, but that doesnt mean they arent funny and you can feel free to resend it.(and if you arent sure if you sent it during that time you can resend the request to make sure)

i also havent made any for the new fnaf games yet and probably wont til february to give a big enough spoiler buffer but i have 2 requests for it atm

[almuerdesayuno]

aaaa thanks for tagging me @muriendodeplena @wiseandromeda and @soy-chiara <3

1. Why did you choose your url? bc in my house we tend to get up late and end up having breakfast and lunch at the same time xD. Also Nolwen is a ~translation~ of my name in elvish heh

2. Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them. Actually i have one that was for photography that i didn't post in much, but i've been meaning to post other stuff that i do like emboidery or lil drawings....maybe i'll just put those here though, i havent made up my mind yet heh. the url is @nolwen-arts owo

3. How long have you been on tumblr? I think.....7 years? and some months lol

4. Do you have a queue tag? absolutely not <3

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? ........to look at sherlock gifs.......(dont worry i got better)

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? Right now its Freddie Mercury sitting on top of a car....how could i not djaksdjkas

7. Why did you choose your header? I was playing Gris w my little brother and the cube was just too cute (go play Gris its amazing)

8. What’s your post with the most notes? I usually don't post anything lol

9. How many mutuals do you have? I wouldn't know....but i lov u all <3

10. How many followers do you have? 625. I know there are some porn bots there but i try to keep it relatively clean(?

11. How many people do you follow? 2506 and counting lmao

12. Have you ever made a shitpost? nah

13. How often do you use tumblr each day? more than i should....lets just say that i have reached post limit more than once this year.....

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won? im just here to look at silly pictures im not fighting anyone :)

15. How do u feel about “u need to reblog this” posts? i dont like them at all but if the information is important i'll probably reblog it :/

16. Do you like tag games? YES I LOVE THEM though sometimes i take long to reply bc im a mess (sry) but please do tag me !!! also i never know who to tag......

17. Do you like ask games? yesss i love oversharing <3 but i sometimes loose the post with the questions ;-;

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? all my mutuals are tumblr famous in my heart <3

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? do my actual partners count? heh

I'll be tagging (if you want to of course! no pressure)....... @buddybuddylesbians @tony-the-toe-snatcher @theelfmaiden @ghostsdontcry @osonos @our-total-paradise @captainsaku @mi-lalalan and......thats the limit of my imagination for tagging, but please, do it and tag me if you want!

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku Drama - Thumb-Sized Samurai Tracks 1-4 (of 7)

This is my last post of the month, so I’ll end by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

Well... I’m finally done with all that i can translate for this drama. posting these tracks all together since im unable to continue translating the rest of this by myself... which is something i wouldn’t normally do because i prefer splitting tracks up for more items on my queue, tho that’s also a side-effect of me usually not being able to stay focused on one drama... not sure when i’ll get to the subtitle videos for these since im still pretty busy (while i have the first 3 tracks of this drama subtitled [unedited], at this rate, i might just wait for when finals are done and just focus on all my videos in bulk then... plus ive yet to receive the tl for track 6 and 7 [and need someone else to go over where the voices overlap in track 5], so that will likely cause further delays to the videos for this drama).

also i totally caved in and exchanged points for the yuukoku no moriarty stage play file with chinese subs that someone finished translating recently and bought the blu-ray for the 2nd musical. havent craved more content from a fandom this badly since about a few months before i decided that i would start translating hakuoki stuff lol. 

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 Limited Edition Bonus Drama CD “Thumb-sized Samurai”

Translation by KumoriYami

Track 1

Kazama: hehehe~ Sure enough/As expected, this medicine's blend of Forsythia grass and boiled eel, along with my yearning and passion....

Heh.....hehehahaha~!!! Success at last! This forbidden drug, it shall be named ——the New Ishida Sanyaku · Changed/Improved!!

Hm~. as long as this strange drug  "the New Ishida Sanyaku" is improved, it will become a panacea that will make people fall deeply in love.......

She obviously loves me, [however] my wife is is unable to honestly admit to her feelings [and] is tormented by the pain of love-sickness/My wife, tortured by love sickness, has refused to admit her feelings, isn't this medicine suitable for her?

Alright/Well, now that this medicine has been completed, this must be quickly brought to my wife to drink.

No, wait, just in case, the effects of this must be tested first. (Kazama begins walking off somewhere—)

Track 2

Harada: So that's it/all, Hijikata-san, that's all I can report on. Sure enough/As expected, the team members' most pressing concern is the security of headquarters.

Saito: My opinions/suggestions are almost the same/similar/the same as Sano's. I believe that we need to improve our defences against intruders.

Hijikata: Is that so. I understand what you guys are saying. Harada and Saito, you've worked hard....... That being said, it's difficult to completely prevent intruders from coming in. This place is a temple, not a fortress. Even if we installed a fence now, that isn't really a good plan.

Saito:.....So what you're saying is......

Harada: But, shouldn't the area around Chizuru's room at least be fortified? It is true that someone is after her.

Saito: Kazama Chikage, Amagri and Shiranui [check audio], the self-proclaimed group of oni......

Hijikata:......Indeed. In short I need to consult with Kondou-san about this....... Then, that'll be it for today's report.

Saito: Then I'll go make some tea. You should rest first. Sano, you should also drink some.

Harada: Oh, thanks a lot. Then I won't be impolite [rephrase later].

(Saito leaves then returns shortly after)

Saito: I've brought the tea. This is fresh[ly brewed] and hot, so please be careful.

Harada: Thank you. I didn't expect this so quickly.

Hijikata: (sips tea)......Oh, what's this, Saito? Did you use some other tea leaves today?

Saito: Nn?......No, I haven't done that.

Hijikata: Really? Then why do I feel that this tastes different from usual?

Harada: You didn't put poison in did you?

Saito:......!! Don't say such frightening words, Sano. The idea of me poisoning the Vice-Commander is complete nonsense. [i prefer the word 'utter']

Harada: Don't get angry, I was just kidding. (sips tea).......but, like Hijikata-san said, the taste of this tea really is odd/strange [tl says 'subtle']......

Saito: Strange? How could that be...... (sips tea)....!!

Harada: What's wrong? You've suddenly become quiet.

Saito: This taste is of...... Ishida Sanyaku ！？

Hijikata: Ahaha, I was thinking that this tasted a bit familiar, so that's what it was........ wa, wait! Why was that put into the tea!?

Harada: Saito..... you bastard, did you actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea/you didn't actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea did you? Even if you love that stuff, you should know when to stop before going too far [idiom. rephrase later]!

Saito: No......I would remember doing something like that. I only saw that the teapot lid was open, that there were tea leaves already inside, and that I was thinking how it could easily be brought over to be used......

Hijikata:......There was already tea inside? Did you notice if there was something strange/weird in the surroundings?

Saito: Speaking of which........ I saw something, I thought it was garbage so I ignored it, I think I remember how a note there was a written note saying "dedicated/specially for my wife. Dogs are strictly prohibited to touch this" or something like that.......

Hijikata: What, those words. From where do they....seem... familiar.......

(Hijikata collapses)

Saito: Vice-Commander!!

Harada: oi~ oi!! What's wrong, Hijikata-san! Why are you/why did you suddenly....... falling/collapsing/fall/collapse......!!

(Harada collapses)

Saito: Sano!! Why are you also......!!.......Why am I/How can I.......also....... be fainting........!

(Saito collapses)

Track 3

(footsteps)

Souji: Ha...... good grief, this is a real problem. I've long wanted to say this, but why is it necessary for us to submit a report about our patrols when nothing unusual happened?

Heisuke: I actually think that way too. But nothing can be done about this because of the rules~

Souji: Anyway, if nothing unusual happens, isn't it enough for Heisuke to make the report/that you make the report, Heisuke? I don't think I should be involved in giving it~

Heisuke: You just don't want to go to Hijikata-san's room. If you were giving a report to Kondou-san, you'd obviously be very happy.

Souji: That's because Hijikata-san sees me he won't stop talking as soon as he sees me. Before this, all I did was secretly prepared some ink and smeared a stone into it so that it turned black. He surprisingly became furious at me.

Heisuke:......Anyone who experienced this kind of thing would get really angry.......  Hijikata-san, we're coming in. (they stop walking and open a door) Hey~ Hijikata-san~! Eh? Ah? It seems that he isn't here?

Souji:......But, doesn't it look like he was was recently in the room? Look, something spilled on to the floor.

Heisuke: What~? Is it possible that he wasn't careful and spilled his teacup, then panicked as he left to go and get a towel to dry this?

Souji: Maybe. Anyhow/Speaking of which...... besides the tea, there seems to be some other strange thing on the floor...... What is this?

Heisuke:......Hijikata-san, Sano-san, and Hajime-kun? What are these, these puppets/figurines [or dolls] look very well made. These might be Hijikata-san's things, so it'd be better not to touch them.

Souji: Anyway it seems like he's not in his room right now. Nothing to be done about it then~ [we'll] hand in our report later.

Heisuke: Yeah. Really, just where did he go......

(they open the door and leave the room)

Track 4

Harada: Saito...... Oi, Saito...! Wake up, I'm telling you to wake up!

Saito:.......Mm...mrgh... S-Sano?

Harada: Yeah.... oh, wait a sec! It's good that you're awake, but you can't open your eyes yet!...... Well, how should I put this...... you need to be mentally prepared......

Saito:.....? What are you saying? What mental preparations......?

~music tune~

Saito:.......!! Sano!?………………Sano?

Harada: Why is that a question? Without a doubt, it's me, Harada Sanosuke.

Saito: No....... But, the Sano I know, doesn't have that height......

Harada: Don't worry, you've become just like me. Just look down at your own body.

Saito:.....!!  Even my sword is unsteady in these smaller hands, and if I step forward, there's the risk of falling over because this extremely big head..... What the hell happened to my body...!

Harada: I'll say it first, but this isn't a dream. Because I've already my face quite a few times.

Saito:......This lowly/humble body...... let alone moving, won't I be useless to the vice-commander and be unable to contribute to the Shinsengumi!?

Harada: In a sense, I don't think you'll need to worry about that? Take a look/Look, Hijikata-san has also become like/also looks like this.

~music tune~

Hijikata: Ah...... damn it......! My hands and feet [arms and legs] have gotten shorter, and everything else [tl is surroundings/everything in the surrounding] has become incredibly large......!

Saito: E-Even the Vice-Commander.....!? Why do you [also] have this awkward appearance......!!

Hijikata: Saito, you're awake. I just woke up...... Oi, Harada, why on earth have we become/do we look like this!

Harada: Even if you ask me that, I have no idea/I don't know. I was like this when I woke up.

Hijikata: Yeah....... well, since the three of us have all become like this, it's obvious/goes without saying that the pot of tea was strange.

Harada: Yeah. To begin with, it's strange to have tasted Ishida Sanyaku in tea.

Saito:......I see. That is to say that this is all due to Ishida Sanyaku......

Hijikata: No, that's impossible......

Saito: Ishida Sanyaku is a medicine that is meant to be taken with sake, because it was deviously put into tea, this sort of of trouble happened.......

???: Che~ how stupid [tl is more "stupid beyond the point of help/redemption but i can't figure out how to word that]! Devious? It's shameless to even guess/speculate about this [reword later].

Harada:......! That arrogant voice......! Kazama!!?!?

Hiijikata: You bastard! Are you actually here to harass Chizuru again[??? there's an idiom used in this sentence that I don't really get so i omitted it]!? Where the hell are you hiding!?

Kazama: HAH~! Are your eyes just decorations?  I don't run or hide, so are you not able to see who is before your eyes?

~music tune~

Saito: Ha....... so you've also become like this...

Harada: I couldn't help but look up just now ['doubt my eyes'ish or 'look away'.... or something?] . (whispers) Ha.... It turned out be some random passerby.

Kazama: You bastard, sighing after looking at someone else's face, you really know nothing about etiquette!

Hijikata:: After breaking into someone's home, it goes without saying that etiquette will go to the dogs [reword later]! Alright, Saito, Harada! Let's drive this guy out of headquarters!

Saito: Understood (draws sword)

Kazama: Ah~ do you plan on fighting me with that poor body of yours?

Hijikata: Look at yourself, aren't you also the same!?

Harada: Speaking of that guy, why are you even here?.... Don't tell me that it was your plan to make our bodies smaller!?

Kazama: Ha, have you finally noticed it. You idiots/fools with no brains.

Saito: In other words, this is all that guy's fault?! Making all of our bodies smaller, what do you intend on doing?!

Kazama: It has nothing to do with you. I was only looking for my wife.... Yes, only just my wife.... That damn vile medicine!! To actually make turn me into this inferior article!!

Hijikata: Although I don't get why you're so upset, quit rambling, and hurry up and tell us the way to get us back to normal!

Kazama:.......Che.

Saito: You still won't talk. Then violence can be the only answer [reword later. don't like how it reads]...!

Harada: Hold it, Saito!

Saito: Why are you stopping me, Sano! If we don't get the answer out of that guy's mouth, we won't be able to get our bodies back to normal!

Harada: Don't you think it's a bit strange? Kazama was originally the culprit with that medicine, but why is that guy so small now? If he was able to get back to normal, he already would have done that!

Hijikata: Co-Could it be.... you're not going to say that you don't know how to get us back to normal, right!

Kazama:  Did you finally realize it? You idiots with no intelligence!

Harada: Uwah....... I really want to beat him up......

Saito: Vice-Commander, please give me the order to cut that guy down!

Kazama: Che, listen to me! It's not that I don't know how to restore us to our original states. It's just that this method will be extremely difficult to accomplish.

Hijikata:……Difficult [Difficult how]……?

Kazama: It's simple to get back to our original states. The teapot with the medicine in it is still in the kitchen. We just need to drink more of that medicine, the "New and Improved Ishida Sanyaku."

Harada: I feel that I want to complain about the name of that medicine since it's a bit too subtle.... But will that really work?!

Kazama: Of course. As I possess the noble bloodline of the oni, it's impossible for me to lie.

Hijikata: For the time being, we'll believe what you say. For the time being, we'll believe what you say. You said it'd be difficult, but shouldn't being able to get into the kitchen smoothly, be the only problem? 

Saito: Indeed. Just from the drop to the ground, which looks as high a wall, you can definitely infer how difficult it will be to get to the kitchen...

Kazama: That's right. As a dog who can only wag his head and wag his tail, that ability to understand is really good.

Harada: How is it that I feel angry whenever I hear you say something nasty [reword later].... Well, since we're like this, if we have more people, we'll be able to solve this problem sooner.

Hijikata: Speaking of which...... if someone would pass by/if someone just passed by......

(voices heard in distance)

Souji: Eh~ really, I don't always want to be doing this every time~

Heisuke: Don't say that. Hijikata-san should be back at his room now, right?

Hijikata: Those voices just now...... are Souji and Heisuke's?

Saito: Souji! Heisuke! Come here......! Mmph......! (mouth gets covered by Harada)

Harada: Don't be impulsive, Saito!!

Saito (weakly) What are you doing......!

Harada: I'm telling you/Listen [to me], just think about it! Even if Heisuke helps, the other person there is Souji!

Hijikata: If that guy finds out that we're tiny/this small, who knows how he would react!

Saito: (gasps and moves Harada's hand away) Ha...... Indeed, he'd treat us like toys and handle us as if we were straw...... just imagining that gives me the chills [reword later]......

Kazama: Che, as expected of a pack of dogs made up of rogues and villains. It's amazing that how you don't even have confidence/trust in your own companions.

Hijikata: Shut up! Under these circumstances...! Perhaps Souji is the only exception!

Harada: In the first place, what should we be doing, Hijikata-san? We have to do something, so should we just tell Heisuke about what happened?

Hijikata: Uh………… No, let's pretend to be dolls for a while. After, we can wait for Yamazaki or maybe Gen-san....... ah, there's still Chizuru, [but] we should wait for someone reasonable to pass by.

Kazama: What are you saying? You're actually telling me to pretend to be a doll [reword later]!?

Hijikata; Shut up and just do as I say! Even if it's you, if you can't get back to normal, won't you have a lot of problems!

Kazama: Che. There's nothing to be done/that can be done about it then.

Harada: Heisuke's coming! Everyone stop talking!

(door slides open)

Heisuke: Hijikata-san~!  Hah!? Still not here......

Okita: That's strange. I just heard a very quiet voice just now, so I thought Hajime-kun was here. (looks around) Anyhow, why have these dolls that were placed here, so scattered around [reword later/thesaurus]? Furthermore, this/And this strange doll with blond hair, I don't remember seeing it earlier.  

Toudou: What is this, a doll of Kazama? There's even one of one of Sano-san, but why isn't there one of these odd dolls of you or me, Souji?

(Heisuke pokes Kazama's head)

Kazama: You bastard......! The only one in the world who is allowed to touch me, is my wife...!

Harada: Come on, don't talk, just be patient!

Souji: These two figures look very much like Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun... Come look at them, they look pretty funny/interesting~

(Souji pokes Hijikata's head)

Hijikata:………………！！！！

Saito:…………！

Okita: Nn? I seemed to have heard something strange?

Harada: Well since these are Hijikata-san's things, if you play around too much with them, he'll get super angry~

Souji: That's right. But, if we just leave them here like this, isn't it likely for that cat to play around with them [reword later]?

Heisuke: It's as you say though since they were already left in a mess, maybe that cat messed them up [reword later].

Souji: In that case, why don't we just put them all into a box? They can be also put into a closet where the cat won't be able to reach them.

Saito: ………………What!?

Harada: If that happens, won't we be unable to move!?

Hijikata: This bastard/guy, he just had to come up with such a rotten idea right now!

Heisuke: Let's hold onto them for the time being then. Anyway, we still need to come back later and give give the report for our patrol. At the time, we can return these to Hijikata-san.

Souji: You're not thinking about taking these back to your room to prank them because you're upset about the faces of these dolls, right [i think? reword later]?

Heisuke: This idea of yours won't be any good/You're the only one who would come up with such a bad idea... well, then I'll take the Sano-san and Kazama dolls for to hold onto for safekeeping.

Kazama: Kuh......! Things are getting more and more complicated...

--To be continued...?---

[rhimorechill]

1-30 can i just have your opinion on all of them please

KDHSKHFKFB whoever u are anon ur actually my only follower ever

1. are you of the “tom nook is a crook” or “tom nook is an honest businessman” opinion ?

HES AN HONEST BUSINESSMAN !!! ur loans have NO interest and he was handing out 100k interest/month for a good while there !!!!! the only reason it dropped to 10k is b/c i accidentally made a mil while tryna get dreamies ok. the whole "nook inc owns the entire island" thing is KINDA WEIRD but like ! i mean. its still a pretty sweet deal

2. do you play as yourself or a made up character ?

i play as me !! and then everyone tells me my character is cute which ROCKS

3. where is your house located ?

well CURRENTLY. its just at the center of the island. but once i get terraforming (which will be as soon as i get lolly, mitzi, and purrl) it will be on its own little island in the middle of the island

4. who were your first villagers ?

hamlet and renee ! and bea and agent s and broccolo. oh and quillson. theyre all gone now but i moved bea into a friends island so i can visit her later !!

5. preferable method of earning bells ?

turnip runs babey !!! srsly i will pay like 500k tips and make a million in PROFIT (per run !!) its fucking awesome. i never use turnip exchange tho that shit website always stops telling me where i am in the queue

6. what villager personalities do you typically get along best with ?

i love all of them. so much. normal and lazy villagers might take the cake, but ankha was on my island for 2 days and nearly stole my heart, so snooty villagers r up there too. smug villagers ? like i mostly have experience w raymond b/c i fucking HATED quillson and keaton n ed i barely paid attention to (ed gets points tho. he shares my bday) but that goddamn nerd has a war with slugs. we love to see it. peppy villagers rock (i have THREE on my island rn... but ugh i gotta kick out merry sometime..... i love her but i just !! have too many). i CANNOT hate jock villagers those guys just wanna work out !!! and talk abt working out !!!! theyve done nothing wrong in their whole lives. uchi villagers are great too and cranky villagers r trying their best !!! every villager is good is what im saying. even quillson (i guess)

7. who is your current best friend in the game ?

MGHGSHGD felicity or raymond !!! they send me mail all the time and also i really like raymond. b/c hes such a fucking NERD of an accountant. and felicity was the first of my dreamies to move in so im 💚 when it comes to her...... SOMEDAY. lolly will also be my bff. lolly come home

8. is there a villager you want to get rid of ?

MERRY WHITNEY VELMA. PLEASE GO AWAY. U R ALL SWEETIES BUT NONE OF U MADE THE CUT. ONLY ONE OF U IS EVEN A CAT. (if you want whitney or velma pls dm me !!! someone asked for merry already but id love for them to be on islands where ppl love em)

9. do you hoard a lot of items ?

YES. i did a purge the other day and laid a fuckton of items out to give away. it did not fit and i had to shove some on the cliffs. i still have a big pile waiting to be taken. meanwhile my storage gets new items added

10. take medicine or save & restart ?

medicine is for chumps.

11. where is your favorite spot in your village ?

HMMMM i rlly like my entrance !!!! its rlly neat and has green AND pink mums + trees..... and fencing and a path. IDK i worked hard on it and think it turned out rlly well !!!! other than that maybe my shopping area ? i dont have terraforming yet so theres a lot i Havent Gotten To wrt my island (like my cliffs are almost entirely undeveloped b/c i havent placed any inclines. so theres no pathing)

12. what achievement do you want to hit the most ? (ex: golden equipment, all fish / bugs, etc)

its not REALLY an achievement but i want all my dreamies real bad. after that i want a 5 star island !! i would like a lily of the valley. or 20.

13. do you know any secret tips ?

HMMM i dont think so ?? i dont really know any secrets. ive been trying out campsite cycling and it has Not been going well tho. if u need tips on tting to move villagers out or smthn i can help w that !! this is such a vague q that im like DO i know smthn ??? that is a secret ?????? i also vaguely know abt *m**b* sp**f*ng but im not allowed to do that soooo. thats a pipe dream. fun fact: its not a secret but gardening is SO fucking complicated theres genetics n shit. its wild. thank god someone straight up gave me blue roses so i dont have to go thru that shit. also do not tt backwards when dealing with turnips. not even 30 mins to save ur 600+ prices frm closing time. They Will Change

14. who are your dreamies ?

THESE CATS (i know major shocker from tumblr user pumakittycat. app is acnh life)

15. favorite furniture item ?

HMMMM THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. maybe mum cushions ? those r cute as fuck. i love every flower item, honestly, frm garden wagons to flower stands to pansy tables to hycanith lamps to. idk the bonsai shelf ? i have one of those. i also love my sea globe. its great. WAIT DO RUGS AND WALLS/FLOORS COUNT THERES NO QUESTIONS ABT THOSE i love so many FUCKING items. also autumn woods wall, if ur out there,

16. favorite clothing item / outfit ?

my green clover dress !!!! its the best thing EVER. my full outfit also consists of a silver tiara, a cherry blossom pouchette, white fishnets, and green rubbertoed sneakers. and, ofc, clover facepaint. ALSO FOR CONTEXT. my island is named clover bay thats why im like Clover Time. Theyre Important To The Aesthetic. im also an aro bitch who loves overall dresses. b/c they slap

17. favorite museum room ?

I LOVE THE LITTLE BUTTERFLY ROOM do not even TALK to me unless ur the butterfly room in the museum THERES SO MANY AT ALL TIMES ITS SO NICE

18. cedar, fruit, or palm tree ?

FRUIT. i literally chopped down every single hardwood tree on my island and replaced them w orange trees

19. favorite fruit ?

.......Oranges

20. favorite fish ?

HM. bitterling has a special place in my heart for being my Only fish model. whale sharks also rock tho. and thats only of the ones ive caught !!! i also love frogs, turtles, and obligatorily catfish. oh and seahorses and bettas

21. favorite bug ?

HM. ladybugs maybe. and both birdwings ! maybe also emperors butterflies. possibly others as well

22. favorite flower breed ?

MUMS !!!!!

23. favorite crossbred rare flower breed + color ?

GREEN MUMS.

24. favorite villager personality ?

havent we been over this ? im a dumb bitch who likes all of them way too much

25. favorite time of day to play ?

i uh. play. all the time. i tt a Lot tho so i like setting my time to 1pm ? idk it Feels like a good time

26. favorite special visitor event or reward ? (ex: selecting an art piece from redd, aiding guliver and getting a special item, etc)

SAHARAH. im obsessed w the fucking rugs and the tickets and the lottery. i also love celeste, and gulliver has a spot on the faves list for providing lucky cats sometimes (also a fave item) and for having been to space

27. favorite kk song ?

call me basic, but bubblegum kk plays at all times in my living room

28. favorite animal crossing game ?

ACNH lmao. i never really sat down and got Dedicated to city folk, which is the only other game ive played

29. if you’ve played animal crossing before, are there any animals you’re nostalgic for ? if this is your first game, has any animal in particular left some effect on you ?

ROVERRRRR come home :( also harriet.... i Miss Her. and resetti (i REFUSE to use rescue services dont @ me). and also the bus driver guy who took u to the city. If You Were An NPC In City Folk I Miss You Now

30. share a story from your gameplay

SO. i love the little alien easter egg. i set up a photoshoot and made like a little storyline abt the aliens and stuff. i even got a flying saucer and put that down and used it. and every fucking time !!!! i do shit with aliens !!!!!!! gulliver shows up on my beach. i know he went to space in cf n stuff (I GOT FLAVOR TEXT ONE TIME-- DURING NH-- ABT HIM NOT WANTING TO GO BACK EVEN) so i think its fucking hilarious that the aliens show up.... so does he

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[sugagimmesugar]

Only Fools Fall for You Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Both. RM and Namjoon. 

Chapter. 1 2 3 4 5 6 (In Progress)

“Why are you laughing?”,she asks, confused by his reaction.

His face drops, unsure whether to tell the girl he just met about RapMonster. Why can’t he just be Namjoon for a day? A few seconds of silence as he struggles to decide who to be today…..

Both. Both Namjoon and RM.

“ Actually, that’s me, I am RM. I am kind of on holiday right now, at least I have the whole day today and until tomorrow at 12 off, but in general I am in town for almost a week cause my band is playing some shows here. I was trying to be just Namjoon today but… I am RM too. Thanks for the compliment by the way, nobody’s ever recommended my own music to me.” He shoots her a shy smile, taking in her shocked reaction. Seconds later her expression changes to a mocking grin.

“Yea sure. Hozier my old buddy just popped by last week. I should really start a wall of fame in this place, with all these international celebrities dropping by all the time.” She rolls her eyes at him and leaves him sitting at the bar alone.

With a sigh, Namjoon takes out his phone, opening Spotify and starting up a playlist. “only fools fall for you” he hadn’t missed everything from her recommended album after all. While fixing a playlist he was lost in thought. He really liked this girl, hopefully he didn’t scare her away. Suddenly he comes to a solution, how he can easily convince her that he isn’t just some dickhead being cocky. He quickly checks with his manger, who reluctantly agrees.

A few minutes later, she returns, an annoyed expression on her face.

“Show me your music then, RM.”, she says, dragging out his name in a mocking manner and looking him straight in the eye.

“I am working on a proper playlist right now. But, I actually have a little, well, lets say a proposal for you.” He smirks, taking in her surprised and questioning expression. “How about, I repay you for this coffee tonight? As in, I buy you a drink. And we actually talk a bit. If you end up liking me and we enjoy each others company as much as I think we could… I fixed a backstage pass for the show tomorrow for you. It’s just an opportunity, I don’t wanna push anything on you. I just think you could have a fun night out.” She is looking shocked… again… So after a few seconds of awkward silence he decides to get back to the most important thing: “...Please, show me some more of your music! I’m really liking it so far.”, he laughs. He can see her processing what he just said. He cant help but smile at her overwhelmed look.

She shakes her head, a cautious smile on her lips, and turns to help some customers who just entered the store.

As he picks up his phone again he sees it blowing up.

*BTS GroupChat*

Hobi: RM youre bringing a girl tomorrow?

Jin: When did you meet a girl?

Jin: You havent even been out that long? Why bring her to the concert already?

JK: oooh hyung met a girl!

JK: Is she cute?

JK:  Is it a date?

JK: Send a pic!

Joon: I met her today, we are getting along great and she doesnt believe me that I am   RM so I decided to prove it to her. Also maybe its a date? We will see! She hasnt even said yes yet…..

Hobi: She hasnt even said yes yet? Well done, bro.

RM: JK I cant just take a picture of her, thats creepy.

Suga: why are you guys blowing up my phone like this? let rm try to get some swedish ass and let me nap.

V: *pic of him and Jimin doing the finger heart* cheering for u hyung!

He laughs, everybody is reacting as expected.

Getting back to the playlist he finally decides to add some BTS songs. Why not brag and prepare her for tomorrow night? He keeps on adding to the list, waiting for her to return.

“Wow, how many “favourites” do you have?” he almost jumps at the voice suddenly right behind him.

“You didn’t tell me there was a maximum number of songs allowed. I am making a playlist, putting in everything I like that you might like as well.” he turns around, facing her with a smile.

“I guess that’s valid…. But there’s no way I can listen to all that before our drink later. How ‘bout a top ten? And show me some of your band’s stuff, I wanna know what kinda concert I’m committing to before I say yes to you, stranger.” she laughs, picking up his empty coffee and putting down a notepad in front of him. “Write me a top ten list of songs you recommend by your band and some other stuff. I’ll put it on here at the store and then we can see what i decide.” she turns to leave with a wink.

He grabs her arm: “Wait, you believe me all of a sudden?”

“First of all, you can’t just grab me like that, I am still theoretically at work, even though there isn’t much to do. Secondly, I googled you, dumbass. Can’t really deny that you have the same face as RM… So I believe you. Its fucking weird, yes, but I guess the dude who’s album I have been spamming for days somehow found his way to me.” Another wink and she leaves him to sit alone… again.

A top ten list, with songs to convince her to come to the concert tomorrow? That’s surprisingly much pressure.

Eternal Sunshine by Epik High

Midsummer Madness by 88rising

So Far Away by Agust D

I can give you heaven by HONNE

U by HER

Personal by Kehlani

Make it Right by BTS

Spring Day by BTS

Baepsae by BTS

Mikrokosmos by BTS

It takes him a while but eventually he finds a way to narrow it down to 10 songs. Some of his general favourites but through the view of what y/n could like.

With a broad, dimpled grin, he waves her over. She just throws up a peace sign and nods, acknowledging his wave. A few minutes later she saunters over, two coffees in her hands.

“Thought we could both use some more caffeine, RapMonster.” she says with a small giggle. He flinches and she quickly continues “Anyways, I am ready for your list! I saw you redo it so many times I was afraid you weren’t gonna finish it today. So, hand it over and I will put it on. Any special order or just any of them? Is it a ranking?”

“Ok, so it’s not a ranking or anything, just the 10 songs I decided fit your taste best, or at least I hope so. BTS, as you know, is the group I am part of, so you can take those last. Agust D is one of the other members in the group and the song is from his solo-mixtape. Since you liked mine so much I thought you might like his stuff, too. Other than that it’s some friends of mine and general songs I jam to myself. I hope you like it.” He hands her the notepad, his 4 earlier drafts already in the trashcan closest to him. She takes it and smiles: “Oh, Kehlani! I love her! Let me just queue these and then I will be right back for the coffee.”

The two sit and drink coffee while the music plays, only occasionally interrupting the listening silence for some lyric explanations.

With the time being close to closing time, the store is empty once again, and unbothered by customers, y/n has slowly started swaying and occasionally dancing along to the music, fixing small things around the store or just dancing up and down behind the bar, just going along with the music. When “Make it Right” starts, she is fixing the last small things behind the bar. He can see her really jamming to the music and it makes him smile, he knows that ARMY loves the song and he has seen the stats and all that, but it’s something different to see someone in front of you, in such a casual way, just enjoying themselves and your music.

** Oh, oh, I can make it Right**

As the chorus hits, she is just grinning at him, dancing around him and actually singing along to it, messily since she doesn’t know the lyrics but still. A bright smile lights up his face at the view, as he watches her move through the room, putting away their mugs and lastly going to get her stuff, getting ready to leave. She emerges with a leather jacket over her arm and a bag on her shoulder. As the last notes of “Make it Right” are sounding out, she hits the pause button.

“Sorry, I’m gonna have to stop this here. I gotta lock up now so we gotta get going. Is it chill if we head to pub right away? I need to eat something before I can let you buy me a drink. I know a nice small place close to here, I doubt any of your fans would go there, so you don’t have to worry about getting recognized.” She shoots him an apologetic look as she turns off everything at the register. He gets up and gets ready to leave, waiting for her just outside the shop.

“Lead the way, you’re the local. I’ll eat anything and to be honest I am not picky with pubs, I would just prefer not to cause a scandal tonight by getting photographed at a pub with a girl.”

She laughs, “Oh god yea that would be bad. It’s just this way. Let’s go!”

[ineffablepjm]

No Panties - Pt.2

Notes - AHH IM SO HAPPY PART 1 DID SO WELL! YOU CAN READ IT HERE IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY DONE SO! HERE IS PART 2 I HOPE YOU ENJOY ITS ALSO PROBABLY TRASH COMPARED TO PART 1 BUT WHATEVA

Triggers - We got all types of smut in here, fingering, dirty talking, cum play, degrading words, unprotected raunchy sex (lord help me), angst, fluff, ya know

Word Count - 4.9k

2 weeks ago Jeon Jungkook had you on a science table with your legs spread open and his fingers buried in you. 2 weeks ago was the first time you stopped wearing panties to school. 2 weeks ago you began to avoid Jungkook at all costs. 

To this day your best friend Jimin knew nothing of what happened in the science classroom, all he knew, or so he thought he knew, was that Jungkook and you got into a heated, very heated, argument about him telling Namjoon to back off from you. It was difficult avoiding Jungkook especially since he tried his best to always run into you and catch even just a glimpse of you. He assumed that you avoided him because you were ashamed and because you didn’t feel the same way he did, but actually you avoided him because after that night you couldn’t stop thinking of him and the way he made you feel, but you feared rejection knowing his player past.

You closed up your locker and stared down at the flashcards in your hands, history, stupid fucking history. For some reason out of all the classes you had you struggled with history, I mean did you really need it? Your plan was to go to Yale for molecular biology, not for stupid fucking history. Your eyes focused on the words that connected to battles that happened centuries ago, to names that in some lifetime meant something to people, however, your studying was interrupted by a very enthusiastic Jimin. 

“____!!! Guess what?” He grinned and stared at you, your eyes met his and you cocked your eyebrow confused as to what he could be so excited about but since he received no answer from you he sighed. “Fine, well the dance team is in need of some money, so we’re doing a fundraiser.” He beamed. You nodded and smiled. 

“Don’t tell me, a carwash?” You plopped the flashcards into your bag and the two of you began to walk towards the 400 halls. 

“No silly, carwashes are for clubs that aren’t cool, but the dance team is super cool, Minho is hosting a party, tomorrow night, $5 for girls to get in and $10 for the boys.” He spoke. “Apparently his parents are out of town for the weekend and I don’t know if you’ve ever seen his house but it’s massive.” You smiled slightly and nodded. 

“A party? Your coach approved that?” You question. 

“Well technically no, he doesn’t know, we’re just going to collect the money and then show up with it and say we-- Well im not sure what we’ll say but something will be said. The point of all this ____ is that you need to come, it’ll be a raging party and who knows maybe you’ll run into Jungkook.” He winked. 

Jungkook. Your heart raced at the mention of his name and you shook your head. “I told you, I want nothing to do with him, ever since he told Namjoon that he needed to stay away I’ve made it my mission in life to forget him and not ever see him.” You sighed. “Anyway, yeah I’ll go only because you’re my best friend and I support your dance team, but I’m locking myself in a room and not coming out until people are so drunk that they don’t even notice me.” 

Jimin nodded and grinned. “Sounds good to me as long as you come, are you tutoring Namjoon today?” He asked, you nodded and then you pointed to the direction of your class, queue for your goodbye, then you waved. He chuckled and waved going the opposite direction. 

“Namjoon-ah...” You moaned and bit down on your lip softly as he pumped your orgasm out of you, he leaned over and pressed soft kisses to your neck. The two of you decided to take ‘tutoring’ somewhere else and no longer studied in the library, now you studied in the student parking lot in Namjoon’s car. His car had dark tinted windows and just to be extra safe he put his sun protector up on the windshield. 

Namjoon hummed and he pulled his fingers out from inside of you and he slipped his fingers into his mouth sucking away the juices. You watched him and then pulled down your dress. “When did you stop wearing panties?” He chuckled and smiled. “Not that I mind I was just surprised at the easy access.” You simply shrugged and smiled. 

“Being commando is easier than having underwear now.” You smiled. “By the way, there’s a party tomorrow at Minho’s house, it’s a fundraiser actually for the dance team, $10 for guys to get in if you wanna come, I’ll be there.” You smiled. In all honesty, you liked Namjoon, he was sweet and he made you feel good which was a bonus, but he didn’t give you any of the butterflies Jungkook did. Jungkook.

“Yeah, I’d love to come.” He smiled. “I’ll text you when I’m there so we can meet up.” You nodded at his reply and smiled. 

“See you then.” You waved at him and got out of his car throwing your bag over your shoulder. You walked over to the ledges of the courtyard and sat down waiting for Jimin to get out of practice, he was your ride home. You placed your bag on your lap and pulled out your agenda clearing things that were already done. You took notice of writing things down to keep things fresh in your memory, tests dates, tutorings with Namjoon, you even wrote down the date you and Jungkook met up, you glanced at it and sighed scribbling it out to make it less visible. You closed the agenda and looked up your eyes meeting his. Of fucking course. Immediately you stood and made your way towards the entrance of the school, the butterflies roaring in your stomach and your legs feeling like jelly.

“____!” He shouted. You kept walking. “____! Hey, I just wanna talk!” You sighed and reached the doors but when you pulled on them they were locked. You groaned and sighed slowly turning around to face Jungkook. “Why’re you avoiding me? And now running away from me?” He asked stepping in front of you his arms crossed over his chest. 

You looked at his face momentarily and groaned knowing he was too irresistible and you wouldn’t stand your ground by looking at him. “What do you want? You got what you wanted from me, so just leave me alone.” 

Jungkook looked slightly shocked and he shook his head. “I got what I wanted from you?” He questioned and rolled his eyes. “Seriously? Is that what you think this is?” 

“What else would it be? You bother the hell out of me all the damn time when we’re in school, and then once you get me to cum you move on I mean that’s what usually happens, so why aren’t you following normal procedure? You clearly only want to fuck and like I told you,  Im a virgin so I won't fuck you.” You snapped your jaw tightening. Jungkook looked away and he scoffed slightly and rolled his eyes. 

“You know what those weren’t my original intentions but you’re right, why the hell don’t I just move on? Wouldn’t wanna stick my cock in a slut anyway. I’ll let Namjoon have some of that instead.” He growled and stared at you intently, the words hit you like a shit ton of bricks and you stared at him, your blood boiled and you smacked him, the sound echoing through the awning. Your hand stung from the contact and you could see the pink shade quickly appearing on his cheek.

“Don’t ever fucking disrespect me like that again Jeon Jungkook.” You spat and quickly walked away from him the tears brimming your eyes. “Asshole.” You murmured and decided to just walk home. Jungkook cupped his cheek and you couldn’t believe you just did that, he had no reason to call you a slut, but he was jealous, more jealous than he had ever been I mean for fucks sake he saw you coming out of Namjoon’s car flushed just like you had been in the science room. He turned to see you walking away and he shook his head. 

“Fuck!” He yelled out and bit down on his lip. He turned around and saw a few people still looking at him but he didn’t give them any mind. Jungkook marched over to his car stepping into and then he slammed his hand down on the steering wheel. “Fucking dammit.” He groaned out and then rubbed his face. He turned on the engine of the car and drove off to Yoongi’s house.

The house looked empty from the outside, not many cars surrounded it and the music couldn’t be heard outside either. You stepped onto the trail and walked up to the door knocking softly, one of Jimin’s dance mates opened the door and smiled, he allowed you in without paying since you were Jimin’s guest. “Come on in love.” 

Immediately the hot air hit you and you groaned stepping in through the hall. Your eyes widened as you saw the number of people already at the party, bodies danced, drank, smoked and most even kissed. You looked around for Jimin but had yet to find him so instead, you went towards the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of water. You uncapped it and took a chug your eyes scanning the room, and then you saw Jimin. He was talking to a girl, her hand resting on his arm and you smirked softly. He was always quick to get girls to come to him, so instead of bothering him, you decided to try and find a room to stay in.

You followed a couple who was set off to find a room just like you, you watched as they disappeared into a room and you began to open doors trying to find an empty room. Most where packed and had people in them, but finally you found an empty room. You stepped in and sat down on the bed, you sighed softly and heard the thumping off the music before laying down and pulling your phone out.

You: Hey! Are you planning to come tonight?

Joon: I’m actually walking in right now, where are you?

You: some room in a hall, idk 😅 find me?

Joon: coming

You smiled softly at the texts and within moments you felt the door opened and you saw Namjoon. “Hey!” You smiled and he walked in shutting the door behind him.

“Hey, beautiful.” He smiled and came towards the bed where you sat up. He sat down and looked at you. “Jimin was looking for you, but when I told him I was gonna meet you, he kinda just laughed and walked off.” Namjoon shrugged.

You laughed and shook your head. “God he’s such a doof.” Namjoon looked at you as you laughed and smiled.

“____, you’re so beautiful.” He whispered and you blushed looking at him. “I’m sorry, I know we don’t usually get into our feelings but I just— I really like you.” He mumbled and softly held your hand. Your eyes met his and you continued to blush, you didn’t want to be rude and tell him you didn’t feel the same way but it wasn’t fair to lead him on either. “I know you might not feel the same, and it’s okay, but I just want you to know that I’m here..” You nodded at his words and then rubbed his knuckles.

“I know Joon... my feelings are really all over the place right now, and with school and all it’s really hard to focus on anything else..” You explained, technically it wasn’t all a lie. “You know the first person I go to after Jimin is you and there isn't anyone who I would rather spend time at this party with.” He nodded and without any warning, he pushed his lips onto yours. Your eyes widened and you were shocked but then decided to kiss him back, your hand cupped his cheek and the two of you intensified the kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you pushed it a bit with yours, he moved his body over yours and you lay down your hands going up to his hair. Namjoon and you had never shared kisses before it was purely just his hand in your pants, but this was different, he wanted more passion, more than just you feeling good. 

His hands traveled down to your pants and he began to unbutton them, he gently pushed them down to your knees and his hand met your cloth covered clit softly rubbing it, you moaned into the kiss and your hips bucked up into his touch. You pulled away from the kiss and your eyes met him, Namjoon’s hand slipped into your underwear and as usual, his finger slipped into you, you moaned softly and closed your eyes. He began to pump you slowly and then he increased his speed, the feeling Namjoon was giving you didn’t compare to the feeling that Jungkook had given, you missed it, the way he pushed two fingers in you and pumped you with no remorse and the dirty words that followed his actions, the way his tongue flicked on your clit, the noises that were so cynically sounding through the classroom and the way he tasted you and finally had you taste yourself. “Kook-ah..” you moaned out imagining it was him buried between your legs, you didn't even realize you moaned out the wrong name when it all stopped. You opened your eyes and looked at Namjoon. “What’s wrong?” You stared at the boy whose eyes were wide and jaw was dropped.

“You’re joking right?” His gaze changed and he rolled his eyes getting off the bed, you were slightly confused until you realized and you covered your mouth. “This is a fucking joke.” He growled. “Tell me you didn’t just fucking moan Jungkook’s name.”

You quickly shook your head. “I’m so sorry Joon... I didn’t mean to, I swear.” He scoffed and then stormed out of the room. You watched him go and you pulled up your pants quickly running after him. “Namjoon!!” You yelled out but he ignored you and kept on walking. “Namjoon please!” You yelled and some couples around in the hall noticed. You sighed softly and let him go. You placed your hand on your forehead and then shook your head. What did I do? You stomped your foot cursing at yourself under your breath and leaning against the wall. Your gaze moved up to the crowds and you tried to spot Jimin again, but no luck. Instead, you saw Jungkook staring back at you, he was with a girl, he was smirking whispering things to her yet his eyes never left yours.

You imagined he was being dirty, telling her how he wants to go somewhere private where they could talk, and that would turn into kissing and then fucking. Your blood boiled because this was all his fault if it wasn’t for him you and Namjoon would still be in the room. His eyes scanned your body and you noticed he stared at your pants, you looked down realizing you never buttoned your pants and if he had seen Namjoon stormed off he probably knew what was happening. Jungkook shook his head and he wrapped his arm around the girl's waist and they disappeared into the crowd. You groaned and turned around finding your way back to the room. Once in you shut the door and threw yourself on the bed. Your eyes shut and you just thought about everything, did you really have to avoid Jungkook? I mean you could’ve just given in and let him do whatever he wanted to but you loved yourself too much to just to that. But what did self-love have to do with anything? If you loved yourself you would let Jungkook fuck you so good you couldn’t walk the next morning. 

The music thumping as getting increasingly louder and you wondered if any of Minho’s neighbors would notice, but they were a pretty great distance from him and the house was large so it was unlikely they cared, you were sure somewhere in the house the music couldn’t be heard. So instead of sulking you picked yourself up and left the room in search of a more quiet place. You noticed the stairs at the end of the hall and you climbed up them, more doors were upstairs and you wondered how a person could have such a large house and not get lost in it. Straight ahead you saw a room, but this room was different, the doors were double and it looked like it would lead to some fancy dance hall or something. You looked around to see if anyone would see you sneaking into this room and when you saw no one you opened up the door and slipped in. 

Your jaw dropped as you took in the surroundings, a large bed was smack center of the room, a chandelier hung above it and a large mirror was on one wall. You made your way to the bed and softly touched the comforter with your hand before taking a seat. You couldn’t get Jungkook out of your mind anymore, and even though you had slapped him the last time you encountered him you still wanted him, the thought of him with another girl made your blood boil but how could you ask him to come to meet you when you were still on thin ice with him. Your heart raced as you thought about texting him to come to this room. The better side of you told you do not, to just stay in here until the party died, but there was a side of you who insisted you texted him, who insisted you brought him here. 

You: Jk, upstairs, large double doors. 

That was all you said. You would give him a few minutes to show up before you would decide to just sleep or just watch a movie on your phone. Instead of just sitting here and waiting you stepped into the large walk-in closet and looked at all the clothes hung up. Some were men's clothes, but the majority were women, brands you’d never even heard of, and clothes with tags still on them. You didn’t touch in fear that something might ruin them but admiring them was enough. Your feet took you into the bathroom and you gawked at how large and fancy it was. A large tub with jets and beside it a nice shower, double sinks and all. You smiled at the thought of having such a nice bathroom-- 

“____...” His voice soft and velvety. Your heart raced and you could feel your knees weakening. “____.” He spoke again a bit louder this time. 

“Jungkook.” You called out making your way back through the closet and then into the room where he stood. God, he was so mesmerizing. “Jungkook.” You said again stepping into the room and he turned to look at you. 

“Look ____, I’m so sorry, I should’ve never called you a slut, I just, I saw you with Namjoon---” 

“Stop.” You mumbled stepping closer to him and shaking your head. “I don’t care it doesn’t matter.” Your hand took his and you smiled softly. “Jungkook, I want you, more than anything I’ve wanted in a really long time I can't stop thinking about you, can't stop picturing you, and it’s hard to like you because well you have a reputation and that scares me.” You spoke.

Jungkook nodded and then sighed. “I know... But I swear, for you, I’d change.” He mumbled his hand interlocking with yours. 

His words were exactly what you wanted to hear but you also knew that it was hard to believe someone like him would change just for you. “You’d have to prove that to me.” You whispered and he cupped your cheek. 

“I will.” He smiled and then leaned down pressing his lips onto yours there was more that you wanted to say to him but his lips meeting yours made your worries go away, for now at least. His kiss was hesitant, scared even as if he took things too far you’d run away. Your hand softly slid up to the back of his neck and you pulled him towards you encouraging the kiss. He hummed softly and wrapped one arm around your waist and the other moved down to your thigh where he encouraged you to jump up, which you did wrapping your legs around his waist. 

Jungkook pushed his tongue passed your lips as he walked towards the wall with the mirror. He pressed your back up against the cold glass and you shivered, he pulled away from the kiss his lips going to your neck where he softly left wet kisses, he settled on a spot behind your ear where he began to suck and nip at. Your hand tangled in his hair and gave him a soft tug whining out his name. He pulled away from your neck once satisfied with the color of the mark and with his free hand he began to pull of your shirt, you helped him and threw it on the ground, he pulled you away from the mirror, where you unhooked your bra and threw it down. Jungkook let out a sigh as he admired your naked torso. His free hand softly caressed each one of your breasts before settling on a nipple and giving it a pinch. “You’re so beautiful.” He mumbled. 

Your hands traveled down to the hem of his shirt and you pulled it off revealing his toned body, you admired the way his stomach flexed as he held you and you could feel the dampness in your jeans intensify. He noticed your gaze and smirked softly but didn’t say anything, instead, he leaned his head down and wrapped his lips around your nipples tugging at them and softly nipping them with his teeth. Finally, Jungkook let you down so you stood and he kneeled down on his knees. He began to unbutton your jeans and then looked up at your through half hooded eyes. “I wanna eat you out since I really couldn’t last time.” You softly bit your lip and nodded. He pulled down your pants and you stepped out of them. “Finally wearing panties.” He teased and you blushed. 

“Sit on the bed facing me.” He ordered you did as he said and sat down facing him. “I want you to look at yourself in the mirror while I eat you, okay?” Your eyes flicked to the mirror as you saw your naked torso in the mirror and Jungkook approaching. You looked at Jungkook who now kneeled in front of you, he pushed your thighs apart and he hummed, he could see how wet you were. His hand softly rubbed your clit over your panties and you softly moaned your eyes shooting up to the mirror, a blush rising on your cheeks. He increased his speed lightly before pushing his hand into your panties, Jungkook’s middle finger teased your entrance and he hummed. 

“So wet for me baby, do you ever get this wet with Namjoon?” He mumbled and you shook your head softly moaning. He removed his hand and pulled your panties down around your ankle. He spread your pussy lips apart and he tucked his head in between you his tongue lapping on your clit, the heat in your stomach picked up and you leaned back your eyes shifting from the mirror back down to Jungkook. While he flicked his tongue he slipped in his middle finger and began to pump you his tongue continue to circle around, his eyes caught yours for a second and he smirked pulling away. “Eyes on the mirror or I stop.” You whined softly and looked at the mirror. 

You felt so exposed in this position, Jungkook’s back to you his muscles flexing as he dove deeper into your core, moans erupted from your lips your hand tangled in his hair. For a second your eyes looked at your flushed body, nipple poking up in the air, chest quickly rising and falling, small beads of sweat plopping onto your exposed forehead. “Kook-ah..” you moaned out and closed your eyes. You were approaching your high and your walls began to close around his finger, Jungkook quickly pulled his finger out and replaced it with his tongue getting a good taste of your juices, he pulled away and looked at you.

“I still want to fuck you.” He smirked softly his eyes finally meeting yours. You licked your lips softly and then smiled nodding. Jungkook rose to his feet and he unbuttoned his jeans pulling them off and kicking them to the side. Your eyes trailed down his abs and down to the bulge of his briefs, your mouth practically watered as you looked at his growing member. Your hand softly reached out and touched him causing a hiss to slip from his lips. He wasn’t expecting you to do that so the move threw him off guard and he stood there stunned. Your hand softly rubbed him over his briefs and then you hummed. 

“Take them off.” Jungkook nodded and he slipped his boxers off his member springing up and hitting his lower stomach, his hand automatically went down to his length where he pumped himself a few times. “I want to taste you.” You whispered and he smirked. 

“You’re filthy I swear.” His hand cupped your chin forcing you to look at him. “Next time baby, I wanna be in you right now.” You gave him a devilish smile ad he lightly pushed you back into the bed, you laid down for him and he climbed over you his lips meeting yours again, the kiss was soft and slow this time, he was really savoring you, his lips still tasted of you and your hands traveled back up to his hair, without disconnecting your lips, Jungkook slipped his hand down to his cock where he spread his precum around his tip, he placed his member between your lips and softly rubbed it up against your clit. 

You parted from his lips throwing your head back, the slick movements from his tip against your clit felt so nice and it made your pussy throb harder than before. “Fuck me Kook...” You moaned out one leg wrapping around his waist. He hummed and placed his tip against your entrance pushing in, he didn’t give you a chance to adjust, he just slipped in all the way. Your moans turned into cries and you groaned out at the pressure surrounding your entrance, a slight stinging. Jungkook didn’t move his hips instead he moved his lips down to your collarbone where he began to nip at you.

After a few moments, you softly pushed your hips up and his eyes met yours and he smirked softly. Jungkook hips began to move and he slid in and out in soft motions to not hurt you, the slick sounds were soft and not as bad as before until he began to quicken his pace. He increased his speed his hips now smacking against yours and his balls hitting you, the noise filled the room mixed with the moans from your lips and the sighs from his mouth. “Bet Namjoon never got to feel this good, god baby your pussy was made for me.” He moaned out, his hips continued their moves and his hand went down to your clit rubbing soft circles on it. 

“Listen to the sounds you make, god you’re so sexy.” He kept up the dirty words and the growling against your ear and it only made you arch your back towards him. “Im gonna flip you over, face down ass up princess.” He pulled himself out, you nodded and flipped over resting your head on the bed, Jungkook pulled your ass up to meet his glistening cock, and he slipped back in again. This time he was more aggressive, his hips moving quick and his balls hitting your clit now, your moans turning into screams, his fingers dug into your ass cheeks. 

“Jungkook-ah, yes!” You moaned out causing him to also moan, you could feel your high approaching and your walls were beginning to clench around him. “Oh fuck...” You moaned and he knew you were close but he didn't slow down, no he just picked up speed. His cock twitched inside of you and he knew he was close to. 

“Come with me baby..” He mumbled leaning down over you his pace never failing, soon enough your orgasm washed over you and you let out a yelp as your whole body twitched and you swore you could see stars. You were too dazed to notice the warm liquid filling you up as Jungkook reached his orgasm with you, he quickly pulled out and stared at the liquids falling from your pussy. 

“I came in you.” He mumbled and with his finger pushed in the cum that was falling, you heard him say this but instead of moving or saying anything you just laughed softly. “Im serious.” You nodded and laughed again. Jungkook couldn’t understand what was so funny, he laid down beside you and looked at you. 

“Im on birth control.” You spoke and shrugged. “Irregular periods.” You smiled. Jungkook nodded and then looked at you smirking. 

“So I can come in you all the time then?” He licked his lips. “Wanna go again?” He cleaned up with the sheets. You laughed softly and shook your head. 

“I need a break.” 

[brynwrites]

Ask compilation time again!

Topics covered:

Writing experiences you haven’t had yourself

Nonbinary characters

Figuring out how many novels your plot requires

When you get stuck on an idea

Finding your target audience

Token diversity 

Also:

I promise to (attempt to) tag spoilers

Something I can’t even fathom

A nice message, but not from a moose, unfortunately

I haven’t updated my ask queue page, so if you don’t see your ask there then it’s probably collecting dust in my inbox xP

Writing experiences you haven’t had yourself

Anon asked: I’m currently writing a story and a secondary character is someone who has been abused. I’ve done lots of research and I’m continuing to do so (reading psychology reports, peoples own experience, whatever I can find) as I haven’t gone though the abuse my character has but someone recently told me I shouldn’t write this character because I haven’t gone through it myself. I don’t want to through this character away because he plays a massive role in the development of my mc. Any advice?

1. Ignore this person. They probably mean well but they aren’t helping anyone by gatekeeping. 

2. Try to find beta readers who have a close connection to the the abuse this character faces or who have also done large amounts of research so they can double check things for you.

Nonbinary characters

Anon asked: I want to write a novel with a non binary protagonist, because I feel like it would really fit them and the plot, but I don't really know much about non binary identities. Could you maybe explain a few of them...? I just feel like this question is better answered by a nb person. I've been thinking about making them genderfluid, but I don't know if that would be fitting.

In all honesty, nonbinary people don’t tend to fit in their labels well. Within any given NB label, presentation, pronouns, and more varies drastically. There’s really no wrong way to write a nonbinary character as long as they act like any other fully formed human being. This wiki site has some basic definitions, and these two posts [ x | x ] I’ve written recently cover more.

One thing I will say here though is this: Nonbinary people are not made up of anything different from binary people -- they have the exact same brains which grant the same strengths and flaws and loves and fears and everything else that humans experience -- and therefore they’re the right characters for any plot, setting, genre, etc. That’s not to say that we as writers don’t often get feelings that certain characters have a particular identity or so on, but I see a lot of times were someone thinks a story is right for a nonbinary protagonist particularly because there’s something plot relevantly ‘weird’ with the protagonist's gender or gender expression. Nonbinary characters should not be limited to stories where their nonbinary-ness is a important to the story. 

Figuring out how many novels your plot requires.

Anon asked: How do you know if your plot will be enough for a novel or multiple novels (even after outlining)?

1. How many climactic peaks does it have?

2. How many distinct character development arcs does it have?

Each novel needs to rise in tension until reaching the climactic point, in which the character fulfills or denies their development. At the start of the next book, the tension may or may not fall quite a lot. If instead, you have a dramatic fall of tension somewhere in the second half of act two, that’s no good, nor is having a character arc which ends at any point prior to the climax. 

Learn more splitting up a series into individual books. Learn more about character arcs.

When you get stuck on an idea

Anon asked: Hi! I have this problem when I write something I get stuck on something and don’t see other options, for example, if my first idea for some story is to start it with description of morning I will stick to it and will rewrite it over and over again but don’t even consider and option to start is somehow else. I hope it doesn’t sound strange and that you can understand it. So how to start seeing other options and not get too attached to something?

Whenever you go to rewrite anything for the first few weeks/months (depending on how often you’re rewrite things), stop and brainstorm at least five other options you could use in place of rewriting whatever you originally had. Don’t let yourself rewrite the original until you have these five options written down. 

To challenge yourself further, every few times you do this brainstorming, write out one of these new options in full instead of rewriting the original concept, even if this means you have to write entire chapters you won’t end up using. You’ll learn a lot by making yourself move outside your comfort zone and eventually your brain will start to do the brainstorming on its own. 

Finding your target audience

Anon asked: Hey I'm sure this could apply to writing as well but I'm currently writing a webcomic and as much as I want to advertise it on my blog I'm not sure if people would be interested because overall it's about teenage life, nothing more nothing less and I'm not sure how interesting of a concept that is to anyone. I also started out as a fandom blog and I'm pretty sure a lot, if not all of my followers followed me because I post about the fandom and nothing else.

Every concept is interesting to someone. I don’t know which fandoms you focus on with your fandom blog, but I would suggest looking for fandoms for contemporary YA books (on the ‘less romance’ scale) and similar slice-of-life teen-oriented stories, and connecting with the people in those fandoms on a personal level, because they will be your target audience. 

They will almost certainly only follow you for the fandom blogging unless you become friends with them. Genuine friends who are also your target audience will support your original work to hell and back, and they’ll form a platform for you which other people will be more willing to climb on once they see your original work is already being adored by others.

Token diversity 

Anon asked: Hello! What are some ways to tell apart checklisting from being diverse? Like, putting in POC and mogai characters just to say you did and earn brownie points from the audience? I appreciate the input, thank you <3

My general opinion is this: If you (and the groups represented) can’t tell that diversity is being shoehorned into a book for the sake of brownie points, then it’s diversity, no matter what the author meant it as.

If it’s a well researched and positive representation and it does good for the people it represents, then it’s good.

Working backwards from this definition, some things which might trigger alarms would be:

The use of negative stereotypes.

Diverse background characters supporting an able-bodied cishet white cast.

Members of the represented group telling you that the diverse characters from their group are bad representations.

Diverse characters being less fleshed out or more commonly killed off compared to the other characters.

Tagging spoilers

Anon asked: Friend, could you tag incoming spoilers please, I havent yet got to read these latest Riordan books and wanted to keep whatever queer stuff would be there for a surprise, and whoever the character would be as well

Sorry about that! I will try to tag spoilery content better in the future.

I can’t even fathom

Anon asked: How old are you? Boy or girl?

Excuse you, I'm an immortal Norse trickster deity (without the bestiality), and you do not ask deities their age, thank you very much.

Definitely not moose

@isnotmoose​ said: Hi, Bean! This isn't a question, I just wanted to say hi and hope you were having a good day (or night) :) I also love your blog, it's super helpful!

I’m not sure if you’re calling me a bean of if that was an auto-correction, but either way I approve this message very much. You have a wonderful day/night yourself! <3

[kikclick]

Angry people

Angry is the easiest feeling to be expressed out carelessly. A person nt in control of his will power will without thinking throw a tantrum, spew mean words and feed their own ego and we always take that risk of saying things that is irreversible. We know it'll hurt n assured that we won't do it again and be better BUT only to succumbed and let yourself give in to it.

But, what's intriguing is someone who can in the midst of angry fits still surpressing the dire need to burst on impulse calmly smile and knows that a waste of negative energy spent is a waste of ones precious moment.

It could destroy something you have build Relationship, rapport.. Friendship..just because protecting your ego with might while standing on your self manifested pedestal is more satisfying than accept a different views.. Those are short term satisfaction. Anger is never an 'appreciating assets' u might think u hurt 1 person but boy how naive you are that u forgot that surrounding eyes are watching u. Strangers who doesnt know u already seen the worst of you. What a fucking waste..

But wait, calm yes getting back to it. Being calm is almost like a through years of training and countless times of impulsive burst of anger you finally said fuck this shit. Wake up the next day and decide to smile more often and bearing murphys law in mind, wise to know the repercussion ahead of his action Is someone i think have won his battle with himself but still find a better solution to problem.

Im 1 angry guy. I felt like a cb everytime i let the devil take over control. It's like im being rape and helpless while im feeding the evil pride in me. Comes to a point whereby while im busy showing people im angry and belittling the guy im engage with i have that faint disappointing feeling at myself. But as usual, whack only later can talk. So, when that later comes and finally u let that faint voice out to speak, you have wasted many n possible thousands positive reaction just because you think you can doesnt mean you should homeboy.

It's hard having anger management . Harder when that's our only way to vent. Because loud gets attention and being loud while making sure you're in everyone bad rep list soothes your man pride.

I'm just ranting coz felt like a need to put it into words. And to put it here in public is so that my life struggles are my anger..because i chose self b4 others. Im selfish.

Fuck up part is that split second before gg to a full blown gayest rage ever you already set the chain of reaction. I fucking knew what the outcome, if people were hurt.. Causing nuisances to other but sadly i am blinded.

What im saying is alcohol destroy moral, substance abuse i find it funny why isit subtance abuse when you're actually abusing yourself with substance? These group forgo relationships to feed his addiction so on so forth.. This are accompanied by an object.. But anger is affiliated nothing physical or instigators. Yet we could inflict if not as much at least irreparable damage. Those 2 despicable addiction is curable. Take the alcohol off or drug from the abuser. Make it zero accessibility for the abuser and u solve a problem. Relapsses occur if he found new means to acquire his vice. But as long become sober and engaged healthily im sure he wld prefer sobriety than being in the limbo.

But anger is nothing compared to convincing bunch of fools thats people see the stupidity in them tat they tot its an achievement. Anger resides deep inside the crevices of your heart and its attached itself closely to short term memory in your brain. Why short term? Cz u angry u got time ah to think what happen years ago. You only want that quick flash of memory and say heyyyy fuck it same ol routine let's donk it. Then hell break lose.

For those like me or have your loved ones struggling managing their big pride small ego, never stop encouraging them through their small little achievemnt as simple that time how they isolate themself away from source of anger. I would sit and cuddle my knees and just breathe heavily sometimes i would cry butost of the time i forced feed my thoughts and rationalise my action. It can take longer trying to talk yourself out. At this crucial moment. It takes another bigger person, whos is the victim of the angry person to come to him and tell him, hey while ur trying calm yourself, you achieved to be im control of your impulsive action. Small but with constant uplifting words and encouragement, the person who use to be angrier than the word itself will surprise u that they are actually a fucking nice chap.

We're only human. Share the blame and help us who struggle with our anger by telling us u recognise that we're trying and this time round, i see your struggles. No more reason and excuse of people only wants to see you angry because its your weakness. And it is you not people who chose to portray your ugly side and play victim by saying all they see is your negativity.

Self before others, happy reign over sadness. Resentment is the route to self entitlement and ignorance. There's a reason why i grow into an adult and leave the adolescent phase because no dhit sherlock.. I am suppose to leave that childish behavior long ago amd grow into something much more wise and tolerant individual.

Remember words from a wise old green thing.

.. Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. You suffer nvm ok. Your pasal. You hurt other u dai.. Its locked down in their bad memories and until u chose to change and accept changes, boy you're in for a long ride. The jokes on u if you remain the same coz you're missing out social interaction. Be in control of yourself coz thats shapes your tmr. What's the hype keeping negativity when being happy sparks more euphoric feeling and accepted socially . Shun your ego that god has embedded in you just so u cn mess around and devulged in it. Like me, i had too much time feeding it. But no, things will change. Once this is posted. This is my recovery. Rehabilitation to a happier fendi.. My war. If you're caught in argument with me, let me be the ones spouting nonsense. Engage with me in softer but confident tone of voice. And i will eventually realise im the retarded ones and Shut my fucking ass mouth up...thats when u step in n look for queues of me realising my bodoh. Help me and tell me that hey. U pick the right choice and domt feel like your helpless cz u chose to be calm. Its 1 small step to better days..and we will see u through it.

So... If want to cibai.. Dont cibai like the world is yours. Because got bigger cibai u havent met amd your small penis problem is nothing compared to the cats u neutered. Nabei your cock problem cannot handle want to intervene into some inmocent animal problem.

Nights. Remember if its too good to be true, it is.

From your angry ego bruised boy.

Bruised bane loll

[spookyreddit-blog]

First off, I'll preface this story with the following: I am not in any way the supersitious type. I'm an atheist (not that believing in God makes you superstitious), don't believe in ghosts, and skeptical of just about anything and everything. I definitely consider myself a man of science.

However, even to this day, and after thinking about every possible explanation for years, I simply cannot explain what happend on this one specific night in the summer of 1999:

So, my two friends and I (when we were about 12 years old), decided to experiment with a Oujia board for the hell of it because we were a couple of bored kids without a damn thing to do. My friend Tom, whose house we were at, happened to have one for whatever reason so we pulled it out and started messing around with it, expecting nothing to happen.

Man were we wrong...

So at first, it went about as expected. One of us would screw around and gently push the marker towards a letter, spelling out words like BUTTSEX and PENIS, all of us laughing hysterically..You know, standard adolescent fare. However, after a couple of minutes, we quickly got bored of this and decided to try something different...

Queue my friend dragging his younger brother in with a deck of cards. We decided to have him pick a random card outside the room we were in (so none of us could see) and write that card down on a piece of paper (which none of us could see). After he wrote it down he would yell at us from outside the room that he was ready, and we would all place are fingers on the board and ask it directly what card Tom's little brother just chose.

Well, we all put our fingers on the board and low and behold, it moved towards a set of numbers. I don't recall the exact number. I do however, recall the shot of adrenaline that I received after his brother walked in the room holding a piece of paper with the exact number the board moved to..What the FUCK...but okay, calm down....probably just dumb luck. After all, we weren't asking for suits or anything, just cards.

So we did it again. And again. And again.

Each time, his brother walked in with the same number or face that we just picked, and we could only look at eachother in amazement. This went on for a solid hour or two and we tried experimenting with different things. We had the brother rip off individual calendar dates. We moved to another room and had him pick a random television channel. We even took turns going outside and being the person to pick the arbitrary number, letter, or whatnot. Everything was right without fail. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

And then we decided to ask the board personal questions now believing it to be a link to some all-knowing being. I'm sure many of you can guess what types of questions we asked (being 12 and all):

1) When were we going to lose our virginity? 2) What age were we going to die? 3) What's the name of the women that we're going to marry?

And I remember saying aloud, "okay Oujia board, let's get a little more abstract here. Tell us a message."

The answer I received was, and I quote: "Hell..is only the beginning of fear."

Never have I seen shit-eating grins of carefree adolescents turn so quickly into frowns of pants-shitting hysteria. We were done. No more.

We never really spoke of that night again and as I mentioned before, we all fell out of touch not too far after that.

Just some added info: I don't remember every answer it gave, but for me personally number 1 was dead on. It told me 17, and god damnt, I lost it about a week before my 18th birthday. I didn't even remember this at the time until several weeks later when I happened to be thinking about my childhood. Unfortunately, I lost touch with both of those friends so I havent had a chance to ask them if they were right.

The other answer I remember is that apparently my wife's name is going to be Victoria. I have yet to ever meet a Victoria, but imagine the mindfuck I'll give myself when I finally do (providing she is somewhat attractive and whatnot). Do I engage her? Is this THE Victoria? It'll almost be like being thrown into the center of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I simply will not know what to do with myself.

Sometimes I just want to believe that it was my friends playing a practical joke on me and that it couldnt have been real. But I know what I saw, and by George, I just don't know how to explain it....

Source

[sebyuns]

why hiatus ?

hey guys ! so in my hiatus “announcement” post I said I’d make a post about what’s going on in my life and why I’m on the hiatus. so if u wanna know nd care about me or if you’re just nosey please read after the cut !!

okay so I don’t even know where to start lmao ?

I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder about a year ago and it has been building up for years. last year it started to affect my school I’ve always been a pretty good student but due to my disorders I started gettung worse and it got really really hard for me to go to school. I couldn’t bring my self to go to school I would throw up in the morning and just been really bad so I started missing school and end up only going 2-3 days a week. everytime I would go to school I have panic attacks and I left earlier and I just couldn’t keep on doing that anymore so my therapist signed me off school a month before the summer holidays started. but staying home all that time + the summer didn’t help one bit (wow what a surprise) but I keept on telling myself that it’s gonna be fine next school year and that I’ll be able to go to school again buy SIKE I thought lmao !! it’s gotten even worse so I got signed off school again just after 5 days. and that’s where we are right now 1& ½ month later. i literallt havent been to school for MONTH like ive barely been the second half last year then combine the month before summer holidays, summer and the time til now. its the worst i hate it so much because id love to go to school I wanna go to school i just fucking can’t. by this time I know that I won’t be able to go back to school bc this is graduation class and I can’t be missing this much so I’ve got to redo next year or do something else idk

My depression is at its worst point yet. I have multiple breakdowns a day, I’m either feeling too much or nothing at all, literally everysingle thing makes me cry (one of the reasons I can’t be here lmao) suicidal thoughts, sleeping 12 hours day, forgetting to eat at all or only eat sweets, not leaving the house for days if it’s not for the therapist, just lacking human interaction at all. and all of that other jazz .I’m just really not .. great lmao.

as if my disorders weren’t enough I’m also dealing with an alcoholic dad and a (also) depressed and easily aggressive mom. I haven’t seen my dad for over 1 year now even though he lives only 10 mins away and just thinking about him brings me to tears just hope he doesn’t die from his fucking alcohol lmao i live with my mom who’s also mentally not really well that loves to get angry @ me for no reason and then scream at me for hours till I’m literally ready to kill myself one time i passed put out of the result of us arguing the fucking dishes or what. us being together all the time is just super toxic and she’s one of the big reasons that make me worse. I don’t have many friends (that live near me that im really close to all my really good friends live cities away and I don’t have any money to visit them) im alwyas alone lmao when was the last time i meet uo with someone? so I’m literally always stuck at home with my mom in my 9m^2 room.

the only other schedule and human interaction except for the therapist is my dancing group. well guess tf what we’re gonna disband ! amazing right, I know? 2 of our memebers are moving far away and with put them 1. were too little people 2. the room we rented is way to expensive. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without my group and dancing because it was literally one of the only things that are keeping me alive.

I’m in the queue for a mental health clinic at the moment. I’m probably gonna be admitted in about hopefully 3 weeks. I’ll be there for 6-10 weeks so I won’t be able to be on tumblr at all during that time.

ay and that’s not even all of it 🤙! I’m just really tired right now and I don’t think I have the energy to continue writing but I hope you guys have a better understanding of what’s going on with me right now? I doubt that anyone is really gonna read all of this but if u did thank you sm and ily 💕 if u wanna help me keep updated with exo somehow please tag me in stuff or send me asks I’ll check them atleast once a day!

[studieswithlauren]

(8/4/2020) long time, no see! a couple updates from yours truly :)

boozhoo, everyone!

so, i know i havent exactly been active, especially in times like these. i don't have a lot of changes, but enough to feel like making a post about them is needed!

1. I GRADUATED!!! to me, this is a HUGE achievement, especially because for the longest time i thought i wouldn't get to this point. i have to say chi-miigwech/big thank you to those who have supported me and pushed me to get to this point! i wouldn't have been able to do it without you.

that being said, let me talk more about what i'll be doing in my life right now and the activity on this account due to that accomplishment.

i will try to be more active on this account. however, i'm unsure on what content i'll be able to make, if any (which i already struggle with) because i'm currently taking a gap year. i was going to originally work in schools as a volunteer, but with COVID and my current living situation that isn't a possibility. therefore, i'll instead be working on learning languages and seeing into a little job i can do while i'm stuck at home. maybe language notes will be cute?

2. also, not a big thing, but i changed my field of study YET AGAIN! i've ultimately decided i'll go into native studies; i plan on pursuing a PhD in native studies (also planning on finding other fields to combine this with as i want to help my community out. i'm thinking therapy? but maybe i could be a professor? y'all idk but i'll find my way) i'm actually taking an apprenticeship at the native health center my family goes to, which is to help with leadership/adulting skills. i'd maybe like to work here in the future, or on my rez.

3. i'm also planning on going through here and adding tags to posts, editing my theme, things i've tried to get to that i previously had no time for. since i left my first job, and with the quarantine (while i do live in michigan, my family has stayed home virtually this whole time) i'm in, i'm trying to use this time to catch up on things i'd like to have completed. stay tuned for more!

mii iw! i hope whoever's been looking for any updates or whatever on my current status, or to see if this blog is still active, got whatever they're looking for! may y'all have a great day/night. baamaapii!

EDIT: if you're wondering why some posts that are queued are old, it's because i have a bunch of posts i found saved in my drafts and put them on the queue so i have some activity on here.

[prisperview]

Prisperview’s 2017 Year Reflection

Worldwide Favorites

Women’s March

Lady Gaga at Superbowl LI in Houston

Marriage legalization and improved LGBT+ Rights around the world

Solar Eclipse

Worldwide Worsts

Trump and most things American government

Hurricane Harvey and Irma

Neo Nazis

Hollywood Sexual Assault crackdown (but also positive because we acknowledged the individuals who spoke up about it)

Las Vegas, O2 Arena, and Sutherland Springs attack and all gun violence without reformed laws

Music

Favorite albums of 2017

Atom Bomb (1999) - The Strike (for some reason, this album doesn’t exist anymore?) | Fav Song: Atom Bomb

Christine And The Queens (2015) - Christine And The Queens (Heloise became my new style icon) | Fav song: Tilted

Live and Let Ghosts (2008) - Jukebox the Ghost (I listened to it multiple times a day) | Fav song: Victoria

Harry Styles - Harry Styles (who do you think I am of course its on the list) |Fav song: Woman

Flicker - Niall Horan (see above) |Fav song: On My Own

Something To Tell You - HAIM (new old favorites!) |Fav song: Little of Your Love

You - EP - dodie (never followed her before, but her music is great) |Fav song: In the Middle

Steven Universe Vol.1 (Original Soundtrack)- (because its Steven Universe) | Fav song: Peace and Love

The Best of Kate Miller-Heidke: Act One (2016) - KMH | Fav song: Australian Idol

Other favorite songs

Footloose - Kenny Loggins

State of Mind - Satchmode

Basically any song on the Footloose AU playlist

Anniversary - Autoheart (Top song of 2017 according to Spotify)

Liam and Louis’ solo songs/collabs

Sonsick - San Fermin

La La Land Soundtrack

All I Ask - Adele

Light Up by Mutemath

More songs by Jukebox the Ghost

Boom Boom - Donora

Moana Soundtrack

You Knew - Mother Falcon 

Philosophize In It! Chemicalize With It! - Kishi Bashi

You! Me! Dancing!  - Los Campesinos

Books

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

I re-read An Invisible Sign of my Own by Aimee Bender

I finally finished the Harry Potter Series!

(Fanfics count too, right?)

I got into podfics:

In Dreams by dolce_piccante (podfic) - the first podfic I fell in love with

Naked and Proud by kiwikero (podfic) - absolutely hilarious. I listened to this while working on portfolio applications

The Bucky Barnes Recovery Project: A series by FrostyEmma - I was obsessed with this during the spring

I’d Rather Hear my Dog Bark at a Crow by sunsetmog - I never thought I’d be into Tomlinshaw (or this super NSFW fic dont @ me) but I was up for hours trying to read this in one sitting

Couer du soleil by messofgorgeouschaos - havent finished it yet, but easily a favorite (Ot5!)

YouTube/Podcasts

Dan and Phil - never thought I’d get back into them after 2013 but here I am and I’m having a good time

The Drawfee Channel 

SprinkleofChatter - Louise’s vlogs made doing my hair on Sunday mornings easier

TalkDirection (podcast)-  not listening as much as I used to, but Caitlin and Cara are still good, especially around Harry’s album release time

What Should We Draw? (podcast)

MBMBaM (podcast) - new favorites!

Movies

La La Land (2016)

Trolls (2016) - it was good okay? Anna Kendrick is an all time fav

Wonder Woman - duh

The Big Sick -even though I just saw it a few nights ago

The Wind Rises (2013) - a studio ghibli movie

The First Monday in May (2016) - a documentary about putting together The Met Ball

One Small Hitch (2013) - indie film I found cute

Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl (2015)

TV

Andi Mack - !!! that’s all I can say. 

Silver Spoon - 1 of the 2 anime I watched in the past year

Terrace House: Aloha State

Hjørdis - A short feel good series

Criminal Minds - my sister brought this into our house and its our new family show

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - another show my sister brought up and we bond over it now

Stranger Things Season 2 

Voltron

Sherlock S4 - sucked

I watched a lot of Justice League/DC cartoons from the early 2000s to get ready for WW

Good Girls Revolt - though I never made it all the way through

Art

The DnP Terrarium!

LA LA Land gif

Got into an art school though I didn’t go (again)

Almost did a commission for someone

I did sell art!

Sold something on RedBubble

Fake music festival poster

Participating in the Phandom Big Bang

School

Finally started attending college

Got A’s in all classes. Out of 3 classes, don’t get excited

Learned more about Mathematics and coding

Life

Got closer to my sister

Brother moved out

Got back in touch with church

Reconnected with friend after 10 years

Found some hair solutions

I’m Bisexual! - that’s been creeping up on me since 8th grade and I finally ‘labeled’ it in 2016

Favorite Thrift Finds

Striped knit shirt

Brown ankle boots

Floral romper

Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Ryrie Brink - a book I loved in 4th grade that I thought I’d never see again

Vermont Teddy Bear Factory Tee

One Direction Where We Are Tour 2014 shirt!!! - that I’ll only wear once a year on July 23

Wrap around skirt

Fancy too-short romper I have yet to wear

Friends

Getting ice cream w/ the gang over spring break

Spending multiple hours @ Fuddruckers catching up w/ church friends

Going to see Sorcerer’s Stone in concert with M and D

That day O and I spent together where I was in hysterics over making music with water bottles

Late nights with my sister watching CM

S’s Grad party

Getting my ears pierced with B

Learning to Longboard

Cold playground chat with C

The Park wth C even though I wanted to puke after the fireworks thing

Hours long talks and BG with T

Finding and connecting with A and everyone else in small group, especially K, G, and E

Getting to know Tumblr mutuals better and gaining some new internet acquaintances

Joyfuls

Going to the theater to see LA LA Land by myself

Finally painting the game room

Waking up at 2 am to listen to Sign of the Times live

I started learning to play the ukulele

Making colored queues

Camping with the college ministry

Birthday with church friends

B’s end-of-Summer get together

Made a Link costume for my first Halloween party ever

Not-as-Joyfuls

H’s suicide, other deaths at old school and 13 reasons why

That one confrontation by an older family “friend”  in July - ouch 

Not being able to do VBS

More hair loss

College upsets

Every single conversation I had w/ my parents about the future

Seeing my friends hurt

Things I’m looking forward to in 2018

Getting to know friends better

More art

I might make a zine

Finding more good music/movies

Reading more

The different opportunities I could take

The Winter Olympics

Getting out of my little area of Texas maybe?

Finishing my first year of college

Dogs :)

Anything else positive that the world throws at us ★