#optimal hiding spot tbh

[doctorprofessorsong]

Destiel Fic Recs

It's that time of year where nobody knows what day it is or how they got there, so why not hide from your family/boss to read Destiel fics. And friends, this last list of 2022 may be the best so far.

The Leap by FriendofCarlotta @friendofcarlotta (Explicit, 82k words)

I don't know how to explain the way 91W lit up my brain like one of those old electricity balls at Spencer's but I thought I would never have that experience again until this fic came along. It's a very different, much softer story, but this fic has the 91W vibes that make you want to crunch on your own bones (vintage gay sadness is the tag we live in here). Its so deeply rooted in a sense of place and time. Dean and Cas are so clearly and immediately bonded and kept apart by circumstance. The longing y'all. The way they can't help but fall in love at the risk of their lives and freedom. It's gorgeous.

The fic is set in post WWII occupied Berlin in a divided Germany just before the wall goes up. Cas is a closeted police officer in East Berlin, trying his best to survive under a brutal dictatorship in an environment in which reporting your neighbors is not just encouraged, but expected. Dean is an American-born mechanic residing in West Berlin. For both of them, falling in love with a man could mean arrest, prosecution, and worse.

But they can't help the instant attraction between them. Neither of them is ready to walk away from the hope of a future together, as impossible of a dream as that is.

Beyond the 91W vibes, the thing about this fic is that the canon parallels are just so beautiful. Cas is expected to comply with a rigid hierarchy and to obey absolutely. Dean is trying his best to find optimism for those around him, and he has an irresistible early seasons charm and brashness that makes you fall instantly in love with him. And while there is period homophobia and oppression in this fic, FriendofCarlotta also pulls so much queer joy into the story. A slice of gorgeous community built against all odds and euphoria at finding love and family and shelter in the most hostile of places.

This story made me ugly cry (a true feat) and it's one of those stories you finish and consider turning back to Chapter 1 and reading it all over again. Seriously. Go read it then yell at me about it.

The Law of Equivalent Exchange by awed_frog @awed-frog (Mature, 60k)

This is the fic you have to read in one sitting because you don't want to be crushed by a falling desk like in Mystery Spot and never see the ending. It is gorgeous in a way that I think may have irrevocably changed me. A testament to love and devotion that left me absolutely breathless.

Cas, Angel of Tears, is assigned to watch over the lives of two brothers, tied together and experiencing hundreds of lifetimes of sorrow and joy in preparation for some mysterious Heavenly plan. His mission is to watch over a green-eyed boy, to guide him into each next life. The human doesn't know, doesn't remember (mostly), but it's impossible to ignore the growing bond between them. Cas finds himself inexorably changed by watching the many lives he experiences.

This is a canon fic (and tbh if you don't know canon the middle is going to confuse you because it's a reimagining of canon events with this context). That means awed-frog has somehow managed to make the crunchy Destiel scenes even more heart wrenching (extra crispy?).

This fic had me crying by Chapter 2. It's just a beautiful sweeping epic. And it does have a soft and beautiful landing. I will be thinking about it for awhile.

Märchen by tiamatv (Mature, 93k)

Fairy tale princess Dean Winchester. That's the delightful headline for this really fun and inventive fic. Dean of Winchester is the eldest prince but he lacks magic, making his brother the heir. What else do you do with a spare but promise to marry him off for political reasons, in this case to Michael, an Angel from a neighboring kingdom who lent his swords to Winchester to defeat the demons.

But Dean isn't gonna be some kept pretty thing, so he shocks everyone by saying no. Michael won't marry Dean without his consent, but that term is used very loosely, as angels do. So Dean is locked in a tower full of monsters where he is cursed to remain until he consents or finds his true love.

It's a tale as old as time (yes I said that), but there are some delightfully fresh elements. From Charlie the dragon princess (marry me, Charlie) to a sentient carnivorous hedge, the quirky characters make this fic impossible to put down. There are also some delightful genre choices such as an omnipotent narrator that make this fic feel comforting yet fresh.

In the end, you will be rooting for the angel knight and his prince to slay their inner demons.

A Crash Course in Computer Safety by followthattardis @debatchery (Explicit, 29k)

I love a good fusion and as a fan of the show Chuck, this Chuck Destiel AU absolutely slaps. If you are unfamiliar with the show, it's still an absolutely fun ride. Dean is stuck working at a Best Buy rip off as essentially a member of the Geek Squad. His life is in shambles after his best friend got him expelled from Stanford and stole his girlfriend, but he's making due.

That is until a mysterious email from his ex best friend throws him into a world of intrigue. Suddenly he's got the CIA and the NSA breathing down his neck. Even worse, he has to pretend to be dating the scorching hot CIA operative as a cover.

The Destiel feels are surprisingly potent for a mash-up, and the story is paced so well you won't want to put it down. Bonus points for perfect use of Henriksen.

Buckle up and cue up Short Skirt-Long Jacket by Cake.

The Shadow in the Corner by MalMuses @malmuses (Explicit, 47k)

I don't know that there are many fic writers who excel so thoroughly at classic romance as MalMuses. Her fics bring such a fantastic mix of horny, humor and softness. This one is no exception.

A Victorian steampunk story, this one is set in an alternative timeline where magic is known and the MOL openly fight monsters. Dean aka the Red Hand is tasked with a special investigation - to solve why a monster seems to be targeting the head of the agency's little brother, Castiel.

There's a good bit if mystery and intrigue, but the the headline for me was the delightful way Dean and Cas were both very aware of this instant connection and slowly orbiting each other as gravity pulled them closer. There's a softness to their relationship and it's largely external angst that keeps them apart as long as they are, but you never doubt that they are entirely gone for one another. Yes they suffer from perpetual horniness around each other, but its also very clear they genuinely like each other in a way that melted my cold dead heart.

In the end, a fun read with an exceptionally satisfying ending.

4:08 to Tombstone by Zuzeca (Explicit, 20k)

Cas is a Seraph with a mission: to save Dean Winchester, to retrieve the Michael Sword from Hell. But Dean perceives Hell not as it is, but instead as the wild west. Thrown into a bisexual cowboy fantasy, Cas has to navigate a dangerous escape while protecting this beautiful soul from those who would destroy it.

This fic is an absolute treasure. Amazing trueform angel descriptions, some gorgeous treatment of Dean’s Hell trauma, and a poignant bond between Dean and Cas that makes it a really sweet read (though mind the tags it gets dark). Its a really fun and novel take on the escape from Hell.

All That Remains by DoctorProfessorSong (Mature, 16k)

I am going to be annoying and self-rec here but I just released a fic I am super proud of. It's bittersweet and emotional and I poured my grief and parts of my soul into it. The tags are daunting but I do think it ends in a satisfying and hopeful place.

The stabfest story examines a canon divergent world where Dean is turned into a demon by the MOC, and Cas is forced to kill him to free him. He has a plan to save Dean, but it fails and Dean makes a deal with the Shadow to escape the Empty. The same deal as Cas. What follows is a reinterpretation of canon where both of them are unable to speak the truth because they risk losing it all.

It's a story about love and loss and hope. And perhaps most importantly it's a story about faith, not as some cheap fix-all, but as something that you hold in your heart in the darkest places.

Tag list below the cut. Let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists.

@varlysca @naturallyathief @greatbigbuggerer @fandoms-and-things @cascodedtech @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @deanwasalwaysbi @fellshish @valleydean @raspberry-tooth @the15yearhatecrime

[returnsandreturns]

the matt/foggy good omens au is the most fun thing ever but the reverse omens one is the second most fun thing even though it has nothing resembling a story, it is just banter and significant looks which i am notably a slut for.

also, i am knee deep in david tennant's doctor who run and might just be writing angel!crowley as ten but it kind of tracks tbh. demon!aziraphale is just himself if you strip away most of the heavenly optimism and replace it with a very small amount hope for humanity and also creature comforts. i think he's been falling in love with crowley since at least eden and, once they're closer, actively attempts to make sure nothing happens between them. but, also, flirts aggressively. to throw him off the scent? sure.

crowley still has the bentley, probably. maybe it's yellow now.

“Photoshop,” Crowley says. “I purchased and learned Photoshop for the bespoke purpose of making it. It's the little things."  ". . .does it ever feel strange to you," Azriphale asks, before he can stop himself, "that you created the stars and now you're learning Photoshop? That’s the one with the. . .pictures, isn't it?"  "The photos, you might say," Crowley says, warmly. "And. . .you're not the only one who’s settled very comfortably into human life, you know. You've got your books and your food and your wine and I've got. . ."  "Photoshop?" Aziraphale offers, lips twitching.  "And wine," Crowley says, laughing. "And everything else," Aziraphale adds, dutifully. "Your learning fetish has endless possibilities."  "You own a blasted bookshop, don't act like you don’t also love learning," Crowley says, passing his teacup to Aziraphale and getting up when they hear somebody coming in the front door. "You know, I'm going to force you to use the internet someday. You can spread a lot of evil on there–save you time."  "Not very angelic of you, angel!" Aziraphale calls after him, listening to Crowley trying to convert the customer to a religion he clearly made up on the spot, smiling so helplessly that he can't quite hide it by the time the customer is gone and Crowley comes back.  "What's with the face?" Crowley asks, stopping in place.  "Nothing," Aziraphale says, immediately. "Nothing at all." 

[astranquel]

How to spot rising / ascendants -

Aries rising-

◦ fire crackers and go getters of the zodiac

◦ Motivated individuals

◦ Take action to anything

◦ Have the confidence of an Aries sun

◦ Have quick impulsivity and are passionate about what they love

Taurus rising-

◦ Practical and friendly

◦ Determined and sometimes have the stubbornness

◦ Very grounded and just a “chill person”

◦ Love things that are full of beauty and love art ( that means they like good food like gourmet foods) ( almost a Taurus sun would)

◦ Nothing too flashy and showy for a Taurus rising ( same as a Taurus sun would

◦ Not afraid to to put in hard work and get their hands, jumbled up and dirty

Gemini rising –

◦ learning comes quick for them

◦ social skills are immaculate, their social butterfly, and love conversations that are stimulating

◦ Need engaging conversations

◦ Can talk about their feelings and feel better

◦ Quick witted people

Cancer rising-

◦ Comfort, givers and lovers and her great listeners are compassionate and loving

◦ Empathetic and carrying the weight of the world

◦ They hide their feelings, sometimes (similar to a cancer sun)

◦ Need boundaries otherwise they clap back

Leo rising-

◦ Natural born leaders think of “ the lion king” and their is confidence and power that’s inside of a Leo rising that sometimes people see

◦ Have a very, very giving and generous heart

◦ They have natural swagger and they’re like just so cool.( I have a leo sun so I know how this is)

◦ might have a fucked up back and need to get it fixed

Virgo rising-

◦ Organized, put together and reliable

◦ Definitely a perfectionist ( I’m an artist and I do one line on my drawing and it don’t look right and then i crumble it up and start over until it looks perfect) (I’m a perfectionist for real)

◦ Can have a resting bitch face - I have one

◦ Friends ask you for your advice

◦ Have a dainty fairy looking face prominent nose

◦ Reserved and shy (usually I am closed off until I get comfortable and I observe people’s energy before i befriend)

Libra rising-

◦ Naturally attracted to beautiful things

◦ Romantics- hopeless romantics

◦ Can can have sharp tongues, but excellent communicators ( social butterflies they say)

◦ Naturally picture perfect beauties

◦ Care about the happiness of others

◦ Flirty as hell ( with every body and their mom ) (Venus rules this sign)

Scorpio rising -

◦ Mysterious and reserved also quiet especially if it’s a female (gives them a dark feminine energy)

◦ Can be observant and obsessive to people to get to know them

◦ Sexually alluring and powerful - 18+ ( kinky as hell ) probably into bdsm, very sensual

◦ Pluto rules this sign- rules transformation and sexuality

Sagittarius rising-

◦ Intelligent some what knowledgeable and interested in the world and people in it

◦ Adventurous and love exploring and enjoying and experiencing new things to learn or have fun with- you won’t get tired of them or be bored

◦ Outspoken and very bold not afraid to go all out

◦ Positivity loving and optimistic and see the brightness in people and things

◦ Jupiter rules this sign- so think of opportunities, optimism and hope and beliefs

Capricorn rising-

◦ Very much reserved but driven ( especially if they have a passion they love)

◦ Can be more of a dad vibe energy and can be disciplinary ( gives major dom energy if you’re kinky)

Aquarius rising-

◦ Intellectual and love sharing knowledge to others

◦ Likes to make everyone smile

◦ Weirdos tbh

Pisces rising-

◦ Empathetic and dreamy

◦ Are kinda psychic ( you see Pisces placements they are very intuitive and psychic)

[golden--doodler]

I saw you in my inbox and must immediately go to yours 🥺 Gotta ask you who your favorite Belcher is AND your top 10 favourite side characters 🤌

Oh no, you gave me another hard one! I guess this is going to be another long one, hahaha, get ready.

As for who my favorite Belcher is, that is so tough, almost too tough for me to answer because that changes for me every day, and I love all of the Belchers for very different, specific reasons. Tbh, I relate to all of them on some level. However, if I HAVE to choose, I will choose two, because I am still that indecisive.

I have to go with Linda as one because of her endless optimism and her constant singing spouts, because who hasn't wanted to break out into song like her every once in a while? Honestly, her outros for the show are the best. The one for "Wharf Horse" Part One? COME ON. She is just THAT girl, and she knows it--she is hilarious, she's honestly quite pretty (gotta love her in that blue dress she wore in "An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal") and when you have her affection, she's with you for life, and will go to the ends of the earth for you. She will literally help you hide the evidence of a murder and go on the run for you, she is THAT loyal. Like, seriously, she planned what she would do to help Bob if he ever murdered Teddy, oh my god. And even just her support for the smaller things, like helping Bob with his dream to run the restaurant (okay, maybe this doesn't count as SMALL, but still). She is ALWAYS there to help him have a little light in his life when he needs it. She's always down to have a little fun and spice things up--I mean, who else would come up with "sexy cooking" and a "strip tease" on Valentine's Day? She's so freaking giving, to the point where it's even a detriment to her, as seen in "Terminilator II: Terminals of Endearment", where she let her mom walk all over her because thought that's what she needs to do as their daughter, which is not the case (I'm really glad Bob got upset about this for her, but I really wish she'd actually seen how terrible her parents are). I love all of her little quirks, and she is totally someone I would want to marry or at the very least be friends with irl. I think my Bisexuality is showing with this one, haha.

My second Belcher whom I love will probably be a much less popular opinion. I almost chose Tina for this one, but honestly, I have to go with Gene. He's the Belcher kid who's the most similar to Linda, so I guess that makes sense. I do sorta get why he's not everyone's favorite, but I just can't help but have the biggest soft spot for this guy. His jokes/one-liners are consistently funny, and he always provides the best levity when a scene needs it ("Nature boner!"). Plus, I really relate to his adoration of music even though he's actually not even good at it. Also, just him questioning his love of music was just super interesting overall. But his being objectively not great at playing chords doesn't even matter, because of his sheer passion--and it's this passion that led him to create the BEST songs in the entire show. I mean, "Electric Love"? "Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl?" "Turkey, I Need You Beside Me?" You love to see it. These all came from his unadulterated love for music, and I think that's kind of beautiful. I also relate a lot to his love of food, especially during the episode "Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid", where "Turkey, I Need You Beside Me" came from. I mean, I'm the kind of person who pays extra close attention to expiration dates and would never eat expired food (one of my pet peeves is actually when people say expiration dates are a myth), but the fact that all he wanted throughout the episode was to enjoy some of his dad's cooking with his family together on Thanksgiving is just... yeah, I feel that. It's also just so wholesome. Speaking of wholesomeness, I don't know, Gene just feels a little wholesome to me. Besides Tina, he's the nicest of the kids, and usually, despite his non-sequiturs and jokes, he just wants to do right by people, especially people like his dad, which he outright says in "Best Burger". Just him wanting Bob to be proud of him and not see him as a screw-up is so 🥺

Okay, this is already super long, oh god. Onto my ten favorite side characters!

1.) Gonna start out with Sergeant Bosco. I recently watched a compilation of him and remembered how much I love this guy, he's just so freaking funny. I love how he's a cop who's super incompetent and still gets the job done somehow--he's terrible yet great at his job, which is amazing. Especially loved how he tried to give advice on how Linda should do speed-dating in "My Fuzzy Valentine", and then almost arrested Linda for stealing his gun. And just his entire role during "Bob Day Afternoon", trying to take the phone from a screaming Louise, pffffft.

2.) Gotta mention Nat the Limo Driver! Mainly because she's LGBTQ+ and that's wonderful, love that for her. She hasn't appeared that often at all, but the few appearances she's made have been pretty great. I loved seeing her try to win her ex-girlfriend back, and her being super nice and trying to help find that darn ring in the waterpark during "The Ring (But Not Scary)". Also just the fact that she casually was transporting a snake to the aforementioned ex-girlfriend is hilarious.

3.) Regular-Sized Rudy, my beloved! He's so precious all around, I love him and everything about him. I adore how he's such an antithesis of Louise, being pretty much everything one would expect a typical fourth-grader is like, with the added bonus of unfortunately having asthma. He probably only gets a point taken away from being obsessed with Chloe Barbash, but it's fineeeeeeeee. I find the fact that he's a child of divorce super interesting as well, I don't think it'll ever get super explored, but some more on that would be cool, specifically how it's affected him mentally. He's definitely the kind of friend that Louise needs. Also shoutout to his stuffed flounder, Pancake.

4.) I have to acknowledge Gayle Genarro, Linda's younger sister. We all know Gayle. We all love to hate Gayle. Okay, hate is probably too strong a word, but she is just such an enigma of a human being that I kind of love it. Every time she's used, she's so funny and completely freaking unhinged. Sometimes it's hard to believe she and Linda are sisters, and other times it makes perfect sense. I love her saying that Linda is her "best friend and mortal enemy" in "The Pumpkinening". Honestly, that might be my favorite episode she's in. Well, besides maybe "Topsy" or that episode where she helped get Louise a filling at the dentist (I think it's "The Kids Run Away"?). But I just really like her in "The Pumpkinening" because of how close she and Linda are shown to be, and how she admits to actually loving Linda at the end. It's surprisingly a super sweet moment for this otherwise crazy, but lovable character. Everything about her and Mr. Business is top tier.

5.) Zeke! I don't know, there's something about this boy that's really grown on me over time, I want to give him some appreciation. His way of talking and his voice are so recognizable, and I love it, and I can't really explain why? But yeah, if Tina can't get with Jimmy Jr., I might just vote for her and Zeke to be a thing. I think that ship is actually getting to me, but I don't know yet. Anyway, I think we should learn more about his family history because it actually sounds really complicated and sad, yet interesting? Gotta love how much he adores his grandma and step-mom, Cheryl, that's really sweet. And him eventually being the mad pooper for Tina in "Broadcast Wagstaff School News" was great. Ooh, and learning that he has a perfect palate in "Bob and Deliver" was also great.

6.) You gotta love Teddy. He's Teddy, everyone's favorite iconic handyman (side note, that commission you did of him and Teddiursa the Pokémon was so adorable and perfect)! I NEED to know the backstory of how he met Bob and Linda, and how he fell in love with Bob's burgers. And also how it's possible that he STILL thinks their last name is Burger. He and Kathleen are actually a very sweet couple, and he's just a very loving person in general. Like Linda, he's so loyal until the end and will do ANYTHING for Bob and his family and the restaurant, even if he does get on their nerves from time to time. However, it's all out of pure love and respect for the restaurant. He's just so genuinely invested in all their lives, it can get a little weird sometimes, but for the most part, it's wholesome as heck. Love how he also got invested in the whole storyline Linda made up for the raccoons in their alley. And how he stood up for Tina when he babysat them in that one episode.

7.) Mr. Fischoeder is just... what a guy. I just saw the new April Fool's Day episode, and it made me love him even more. He's always hilarious and iconic all around, I mean, how can you not appreciate him? He doesn't seem like a great person to have as your Landlord, but just as a person, he's great. His rivalry with Felix will always be a great staple of the show, and the way he was so chill about almost dying at Felix's hands in the two-part Season 4 finale is so great. How many times has Felix attempted murder on him for him to be so calm about it? Just his random ideas in general, like in "The Oeder Games" and "To Bob, or Not to Bob" are great, as well as his overall presence. I will always love his singing in "Topsy". His Christmas song about Bourbon is top-tier, as is his outro song about being put into a volcano after he's gone so he can stay around in some sort of way.

8.) Okay, fine, I want to acknowledge Mr. Frond, too. Is he a terrible guidance counselor? Well, yes. But is he hilarious? Also yes. That brief time he dated Gayle was so strange yet so entertaining. That one scene where he made that poor kid, Nicholas, admit his deepest darkest secret because he wanted people to say if the hurricane was caused by "something bad they did"?? Oh my lord. His interactions with Louise will always be gold, especially when that one exchange where he says "You're in trouble" and Louise tells him to "Drink more cranberry juice" (Not "Urine Trouble!" >:( ). Also, his entire role in the "My Butt Has a Fever" short is perfection in terms of comedy. Him getting THAT upset over the song only to end up with it stuck in his head too and humming it later? Yup.

9.) Ms. Labonz doesn't have the right to be so funny. Why is she so funny? God. I love how she's just done with everyone 24/7, especially the aforementioned Mr. Frond, and her role in "Touch of Eval(uations)" is actually really nice. I love her telling Louise that she knows Louise is smart and capable, and just needs to apply herself more, and it ending with her getting that brand new parking spot is actually pretty well deserved. Also, she is definitely a heavy smoker. Might want to get your lungs checked out, Ms. Labonz, no offense.

10.) Consider this last space a tie between Hugo Habercore and Jimmy Jr. I couldn't go through this list without Hugo, because even though he is terrible (come on, man, chill for a second, let the Belchers live their lives in peace), man is he funny. His role in the pilot episode "Human Flesh" is iconic in and of itself, his lines are so quotable there. I'm honestly super curious about how he met Linda, and what their relationship was like while it was still going on. I'm also curious about how he became a health inspector and how he met Ron. Is it weird that I almost want him and Ron to have something going on? It sounds so random, and it is, but I don't know, he just needs someone to be with to get over Linda and be a happier/better person, and I like their dynamic. He did have that girl he went on a blind date with in "Romancing the Beef", but she's never seen or mentioned again. As for Jimmy Jr., this was a tough call. There were so many people I wanted to mention but couldn't (I mean, the Pesto twins, Courtney, Jocelyn, Mort, MARSHMALLOW--I'm so sorry I didn't put you on the list, Marshmallow) but I decided to go with Jimmy Jr. Your appreciation for him is rubbing off on me. The guy definitely needs to get better at actually committing (he IS at his worse in "V For Valentine-Detta") and I don't know if I want him to be the one for Tina, I don't think he should, but I don't know, whenever he has a genuine interaction with Tina, it just... ah. It kinda gets to me. It makes me wish he were better so they could actually just be a couple. Lord knows Tina has been wanting him long enough. Seriously girl. But yeah, I love his dancing and his general weird-but-doesn't-care-what-others-think-of-him vibe. Like in the movie when he tried to get a chicken nugget in his mouth just so he could say he did it. That's peak comedy. I love his role whenever he's in an episode, especially in "What About Job?" when Tina made him the villain just because he refused to share gum with her--he also is just a very entertaining villain. I feel like he's so close to being someone who Tina could be with, but is never right there. Oh well.

Side note: Him asking Tina on a genuine frozen yogurt date in the April Fool's Day episode is actually so sweet, what the heck.

This got way too long oh no. I hope you're able to read all of this and get some enjoyment out of it! I tried to condense it but found I had way too many thoughts on these characters. I love them all so much. I probably forgot to mention a few things and made a few mistakes, but here it is.

[lemuel-apologist]

It's absolutely hilarious that, when Charlie Day talks about the Mormon Church Air Conditioner Pit where he got drunk, I know EXACTLY the kind of area he's talking about-- despite the fact that I have never been to Rhode Island.

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing x.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 8, 711

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a/n:

so here is the mini monster chap !! i know I said this was going to be a drabble series but I clearly got carried away LOL

anyways, no spoilers for this chap but I can say it's one of my favs that I've written and I think we see oc getting the comfort that she deserves (and needs!)

and also !! this is my first time updating a series on tumblr and it feels *exciting* hehe, I hope you enjoy this chapter c:

let me know your thoughts in my asks!! i'd love to hear what you think so far :3

all the love and I hope you're having a great

day/night/evening/afternoon wherever you are ❤️

“Open up!”

The only person that would opt to yell to get your attention than ring on your doorbell like a normal person would be Yena. And it helped that you immediately recognised her voice from the first syllable she uttered. That and you were currently moping in your living room with lactose-free ice cream, courtesy of Jimin that dropped it off a day ago when he heard that you were ‘sick’. Even if you hadn’t seen him face-to-face, you remember him softly hoping you’d get better.

You don’t know why she’s at your door, but you’re already on your feet to get her when you hear her begin to mutter curses directed at you behind the thin wood of your entrance.

“I can hear you!” You call.

“Well bitch then open the damn door!” She snaps.

You roll your eyes, and so far with the number of times you’ve hung out with her, it’s safe to say that the two of you were comfortable. You never knew how fun having a girl best friend was until you met Yena, and sure it’s only been a little under two weeks since you’ve gotten to know her through various messages and FaceTimes, but you feel like she’s your friend soulmate.

And when you expressed that to her over a FaceTime call a few nights back, you remember her gagging all while you flush and attempt to take it back. You know her candidly calling you bitch rather than your name was her saying she felt the same.

You pull the door open as she stands there with her eyes narrowed into slits, eyeing you up and down before she scrunches her nose.

“There’s a thing called a shower that you should look into. You look like a rundown version of long-haired Noah Beck.” She grimaces when she eyes you up and down.

You scowl. “You did not just compare me to him.”

She clicks her tongue before she shoves you aside by shoving a plastic bag of the takeout food into your arms and steps into your apartment.

Yena ignores the glare you shoot at the back of her neck when she looks around your living room, scrunching her nose like she was here to inspect your room than pay you a visit.

“Did someone die in here or was that just your will to live?”

You scoff. “Wow. Drag me.”

She waves you off before plopping onto your couch while you sigh, immediately heading to the kitchen to prep the food she brought over.

“For a moment I thought you were dead.” She confesses casually.

When you return with bowls and plates, with the cutlery to match—you give her a dry look before you’re taking your seat on the floor; attempting to hide your half-eaten tub of ice cream, which Yena immediately spots.

“So your first instinct was to yell at my door in hopes that I wasn’t actually dead?” You ask dryly.

She picks up your ice cream and grimaces at it, silently judging you for the flavour before she gives you a shrug.

“Yeah. I was hoping that your spirit would confer.”

You snort. “And the food?”

“A peace offering.” She tells you like it’s obvious.

You sigh, you loved Yena—you really did. She was all over the place and random, but it was a refreshing difference that you needed in your life from the usual law and order you often opted for.

“Not that I don’t appreciate your concern,” You tell her, pulling out a container to see your favourite lemon chicken as you eye her suspiciously. “But what brings you here? I told you I was sick.”

Yena scoffs. “And sick you are, bitch. What kind of sick person devours ice cream? Sure, you look the part but your diet says otherwise. Don’t think I didn’t see the empty packet of snickers in the trash.”

You scowl.

“I recovered yesterday.” You lie, taking a bite out of the chicken.

Yena rolls her eyes and you know she doesn’t believe you. She leans into your couch while she watches you eat, “Namjoon texted me that you may need some company.” At that, you choke.

Her eyes widen as you hit at your chest to get the food to go down, eyes still wide at her revelation.

“Why would he do that?” You cry.

“Girl, I know you’re not trying to deflect—you’re literally about to choke and die.”

You glare at her. “I’m fine.” You cough for good measure, then you’re levelling another serious gaze at her.

“I’m fine.” You reiterate with an emphasis on your state even though you were anything but. “I don’t know why the hell he thinks I need company.” You mutter under your breath.

At this, Yena’s face softens as she leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees while you avoid her gaze; idly poking at your food.

“I don’t know either, and you don’t need to tell me anything.” She says softly. “That’s all I’m here for. To be your company, whether you need it or not.”

You don’t know how much Namjoon told her over a text message, but you don’t think it’s much. Purely because he didn’t seem like a snitch and he was too respectful to ever let other people into the business that wasn’t his own. Even at the thought, you want to groan because you essentially lured him into thinking it was okay for him to kiss you while you were … you don’t even know what the fuck was happening anymore.

“I—” You say weakly, and all Yena does is offer you a comforting smile.

For some reason, the fact that she’s here right in front of you after you spent the day crying and feeling like your heart has been repeatedly stomped over with the addition of your rumination—it feels nice to have someone with you, even if it’s just their presence.

But the way she doesn’t look at you and expects something out of your conversation makes you feel even more overwhelmed, and that’s probably why the dam breaks.

Yena’s eyes widen as she immediately darts out to wrap her arms around you when you end up in violent sobs. You don’t know why you’re crying but you are, and you’re tired of hiding things, your feelings and your intent just to pretend like things were okay.

“It’s okay.” She strokes your hair and it feels warm, like a mother comforting a crying baby and you realise that this is what friends should feel like.

“N-no it’s n-not!” You cry into her shirt and it’s messy, but she doesn’t seem like she minds. Especially when she supports your pliable frame.

“You wanna talk about it?” She asks softly, giving you a kind smile.

You sniffle, staring forward as you feel your eyes swell with the escalation of your tears.

“I don’t know.” You whisper.

She hums, “It’s okay not to know. You don’t need to know everything.”

“I’m just so tired, Yena.” You tell her in a hushed breath.

“Life is difficult.” She admits. “It’s natural to be tired.”

You’re thankful to hear that she doesn’t comfort you with blind optimism. She’s real and she acknowledges how shitty things may be, and frankly, you didn’t need another wannabe altruist telling you that things will get better. You knew that, everyone did. But when you’re at rock bottom and all you see is darkness, you’re not looking for better. You’re looking for a reason to continue.

“Can I say something?” She asks. The way she looks at you is soft and open, and non-judgemental. You feel safe.

You nod your head, teary eyes staring up at her.

“You’re not responsible for anyone’s feelings except your own.” She looks at you so seriously that you nearly feel your breath escape. “There are things that you can and cannot control—and the latter usually falls under the people around you.”

You suck in a breath, and you wonder how she’s so spot on without ever touching on the true context.

“Namjoon texted me but I didn’t come here because he asked me to. It’s because you deserve to have someone be around you when you’re clearly not okay.”

“I’m—”

“You’re not.” She blinks, and you almost pout at her firm tone. “And that’s okay. I don’t need to know what happened to justify how you feel. You could’ve stubbed your toe and feel like absolute shit and I have absolutely no right to judge you on how or when you feel emotions.”

You wonder where she’s been your entire life and why she was only in your life now.

“But the thing is,” She sighs. “You don’t always have to choose between something or the other. Sometimes you need to choose yourself.”

You stare up at her in awe because Yena was cool in general, her laidback and unbending personality was mainly what drew you to her because you’d argue you were the opposite. Even if Jungkook’s words stung, you could take it at face value and accept that it was true.

You were uptight and you were a bit of a prude, and for the longest time, you always resented that aspect of you. But you realised with Yena, she had traits that were resented in a woman as well. And you realise that you’d never be perceived the way you want unless you perceive yourself in a positive light first.

So when she speaks to you so sternly, yet with a tone of care as she picks apart her words so carefully—you realise what you have to do.

“I think I like Jungkook.”

Yena pauses for a brief second, but you don’t see any judgement in her face. Just confusion, a warranted emotion you don’t blame her for having.

“I figured as much.”

Your eyes widened, “How—?”

It’s almost like a repeat of the first night at the football game when you befriended each other, but she only shoots you a gentle smile.

“Call it a woman’s intuition.”

You blink, fiddling with your fingers before you stare up at her, continuing your drawls.

“And we kissed.”

At this, Yena cocks an eyebrow up, “Was this recent?”

You fiddle with your thumbs before you sigh and push yourself up.

“Thing is …” You mumble, “I’m not like that.”

You don’t answer her question because you can’t think of a proper enough response to tell her that yeah—you did kiss him, amongst other things that you foolishly allowed yourself to indulge in. You knew Yena wasn’t judgemental but you also knew that you couldn’t retrieve your words the moment they left your mouth. It was your own judgement that stopped you from saying the things you really wanted and it sucked, royally. Because you could tell that Yena wasn’t out here to crucify you for being … liberated. She just wanted to be there for you.

Yena scrunches her eyebrows in confusion as she allows your words to settle, pondering a response.

She settles for a huff, “Care to elaborate?”

“I don’t … do things like that.” You say softly. “I’m shy and quiet. I’m not active in the social sphere and I only have three friends that I can reach out to if I wanna hang out. But even then, I don’t … I don’t like partying, or drinking, or loud spaces. I’m awkward and horrible at social interaction let alone being able to navigate my romantic feelings. And … I felt so bad about it.”

Yena’s eyes soften, but you can’t look at her just yet. Not when this is the first time you’ve ever laid yourself vulnerable, emotionally that is, to someone that wasn’t just the confines of your thoughts.

“I always wondered what it’d like to be confident, to be liked on campus and not just be known as the smart girl.” You whisper. “My entire personality was built around my achievements and I didn’t know what else to do. What if … what if I peak here and fail after?” Your eyes are wide in despair, and you feel your lips quiver when you speak.

“You’ll never know.” Yena reminds you gently. “You won’t know who likes you or what people say about you—but you’re going to be hearing your own thoughts 24/7 and that’s what kicks you down or drives you further.”

You sigh, nodding your head.

“It’s just … Jungkook and I were close. We grew up together even if he’s younger than me. But we just got along well and he … he saw me. He used to comfort me whenever I’d tell him how pressuring it got and—I feel so stupid because he probably says that to everyone and I fell for it.” You chuckle with no emotion, staring at the stray thread poking outside of your couch pillow.

“Have you spoken to him about your feelings?” She asks softly.

Immediately, you scoff and the sour emotion peaks through again.

“He’s made it clear what he wants to hear from me.” You mutter.

Yena purses her lips before resting her hands gently on your shoulder.

“You’re not answering my question, ______.” She chides gently.

You nibble on your bottom lip and shake your head. That earns a sigh from her as she wraps her arms around you once again, resting her chin on your shoulder as you allow yourself to feel the comfort of her warmth.

“He kissed me first and we did things together.” Your lips quiver when you recall the memories, “A-And he’s with Jennie. I just …” You flutter your eyes shut, “I don’t want to say that I’m the other girl but I feel a lot like a second option and it sucks.”

Yena doesn’t ask, and she doesn’t need to. She doesn’t need to justify why you felt the way you did, so she holds you tighter.

“Babe.” She gently turns you to look at her with both hands resting on your shoulders. “Did you talk to him? Properly? Do you really know if he’s with her?”

“I think them kissing proves enough to me.” You snap, and you don’t know why you’re being so hostile, especially to Yena.

She purses her lips, “You kissed him and you aren’t together.”

You wince and she shoots you an apologetic look. She sighs before reaching out to squeeze your hand, all while you stare at the ground to level out your emotions.

“I’m not saying that you can’t feel the way you do. But I’m offering objectivity here. Men are … they’re blunt creatures and that’s the biggest difference between men and women.” You furrow your eyebrows as she takes a deep breath before she continues. “And the idea that we’re equal? No, we’re not. I’m not talking about our systemic positions in society but on an emotional level. Men take things surface value and work with it, they don’t stop to think about the layers of feelings that go into interpersonal relationships with friends, family or lovers. Women? We go big or we go home. All we see is the big picture and sometimes the little details get lost in translation. This isn’t me justifying Jungkook playing home with you or Jennie at the same time, but offering you a perspective that may be hard for you to see because you aren’t him.”

It was true, and you hated yourself for being aware but not putting action based on your own thoughts. Yena only reaffirmed the idea that you overthought every single interaction and maybe that was why you were the one that was hurting.

That, or you and Jungkook had horrible communication problems that neither of you was ready to face just yet. But how could you? When the two of you were on two different wavelengths and you were trying to be just enough for him while he was jumping off pedestals to see you.

It didn’t feel nice, and it sucked because he was the same person that comforted you and broke you all at once.

“I’m scared.” You whisper.

She smiles at you gently, patting your head gently as you peer up at her with tears between your lashes.

“And that’s okay.” She reassures you with a soft voice, “The only thing scarier than being scared is not feeling at all.”

Before you go to where your heart tells you to—your mind is the only thing that keeps you rooted in some form of rationale. That’s probably why you’re outside of Namjoon’s dorm. You don’t think you’ve ever paid his place a visit despite him telling you his address on multiple occasions, usually opting to hang out in public yet serene places where you were able to get a breather.

Your feet feel heavy and your fist is raised, but it barely moves. Especially when you’re just eyeing his door like a deer caught in headlights. You’ve rehearsed the apology on your tongue a million times, even if you don’t really know what you’re apologising for. But you feel like you must, particularly because you’ve senselessly let him see all of the feelings that you were trying to suppress in hopes of retaining the same ones he had for you.

You take a deep breath and deliver the first knock, the vibrations making your arm feel weak.

But you’re tired of always surrendering to bigger and more frightening things that you could understand. So you purse your lips and play the waiting game.

It seems like a long twenty minutes that you wait, but in reality, it’s only two when the door swings open. You brace yourself to see Namjoon, apology already sitting on your tongue.

You should’ve dropped a text, you knew that. But you decided against it because you haven’t spoken to Namjoon since what happened a few days ago. Neither of you speaking about the kiss or the way your eyes glistened when you saw Jungkook and Jennie together.

“____?” He asks confusedly.

You give him a meek smile, “Hi. Can I come in?”

He blinks at you, and you notice he still has his glasses that he usually forgoes during the times you’ve hung out—and you feel a little guilty for catching him at a bad time.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Sure.”

Namjoon steps aside and you’re welcomed into the space of his living room. The first thing you notice is the interior, and how … Namjoon it was. It’s both cluttered and neat, the palette of his furniture matching the overall vibe he emanated. His furniture is mostly wood, light sandalwood that makes it feel all the homier.

And you tell him such, “You have a very homey place.”

Namjoon turns his head to look at you right before he plops himself back onto his couch where you see the bits and pieces of paper scrambled across the floor and the couch. Even then, he was able to look so welcoming even though you reckon he has a right to be hostile—for a reason you came here to apologise for.

“Thank you.” He flushes, patting a spot in front of him for you to take your seat.

When you settle, the atmosphere turns strained when you mull over your words so that you wouldn’t stumble over them. You practised, you did—about a hundred times before you came here and you thought you were ready to apologise and put things behind you but it’s proven difficult when all he does is look at you in earnest.

“Not that I—uh—mind,” He mumbles, “But is there a reason why you’re here?”

You blink at him as you ignore the quiver in your heart.

“I’m sorry.” You blurt.

“_____ why are you—”

“You didn’t deserve what happened the other day.” You interject, voice soft but unwavering when you force yourself to look at him as his eyes widen.

“I wasn’t the one that saw something I shouldn’t have.” He reminds you with a frown.

You swallow, “I kissed you. And you …” It wasn’t helping that he was looking at you so gently as he awaits your continuation. “You didn’t need to save me back then, Namjoon.” You end in a whisper.

Namjoon reaches out to grab your shoulder, touch gentle as he searches for your eyes.

“I didn’t save you …” He tells you tenderly.

“It’s not just that!” You exasperate while you throw your hands up in the air. “I-it’s everything … from the way you treat me and the way you look at me. You didn’t need to do any of that and you even—” You trail off, fluttering your eyes shut. “—what did you say to Jungkook right before we left?”

Namjoon’s eyes enlarge as his grip becomes tense against your shoulder. You can almost see the way his mind kicks into gear as he thinks of a response.

“That—I—does it matter?” He huffs.

Your eyes soften, “Namjoon.” You force yourself to look at him even if now he was the one that tries to avoid your gaze. “What did you say?”

Namjoon tightens his lips before he sighs deeply, head dropping forward before he looks at you.

“I told him to be honest.” He says softly.

You furrow your eyebrows, “To be honest …?”

“I know you have feelings for him.”

Your face blanches when Namjoon basically exposes you. It’s one thing for you to be self-aware of your complicated feelings towards the other boy. But when someone else points it out, especially when it’s Namjoon—the boy who’s been nothing but kind and patient with you while you’re too busy being caught up in your emotions—it’s like a slap across your face.

“I-I don’t—”

“You don’t need to lie to save my face, ______.” He chuckles dryly, eyes darting away as he tries to neutralise his expression. You wince at the spite he establishes, but you know deep down that Namjoon isn’t angry at you. No, he was far too understanding to be. Disappointed? Frustrated? Sure, but never angry,

The silence answers for you when you look away this time, eyebrows scrunched as you attempt to navigate the conversation. You came here to apologise, and to be honest.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“Don’t.” He takes a deep breath as you flinch. “Don’t … apologise.” He sighs.

“I didn’t mean to lead you on, Namjoon.” You murmur apologetically.

He shoots you a half-hearted chuckle, “You didn’t do anything. Really.”

“But I did, Namjoon. I kissed you back.” You frown.

“That doesn’t imply anything. I kissed you, and you reciprocated. We all kiss someone and not mean anything by it.”

You flinch, and you’re familiar with that more than anyone else. The reminder only stings because it makes you realise that you were not much different from Jungkook, the same person you’ve claimed to have messed with you and fucked you over.

“I’m—”

“Please don’t apologise anymore.” He says. “I already feel like shit.”

You smile sadly at him, “How do you manage to be so nice even when other’s do you wrong?”

Namjoon sighs, then he grabs both your hands in his. “You didn’t wrong me, _____. It’s not your fault you don’t feel the same way I do.”

“How did you …” You trail off.

“How did I know you had feelings for Jungkook?” He chuckles. “The same way he knew I had feelings for you.”

You purse your lips, eyes dropping to your lap. “It’s not that simple, Namjoon …” You say softly.

Namjoon smiles at you gently, “Is it?” He gently nudges your knee with his so that you’d look at him. “Life is simple. It’s not easy. But it’s simple.”

You scoff even if a small smile teases your lips, “You really are a philosophy major, aren’t you?”

The two of you grin in tandem before he purses his lips, possible mulling over something before he faces you.

“The two of you are close so … why beat around the bush?”

Your eyes flutter shut, shaking your head. “Like I said, it’s really not that simple.”

He rolls his eyes at you, but it’s not to mock or taunt you. Namjoon simply sees a naive, yet an intelligent girl who doesn’t see what’s right in front of her.

“Remember what I said? I’m a simple guy.” He reminds you, lips in a grin. “Try me.”

You snort, but you’re still nervous. You still remember that he has feelings for you, so you’re hesitant. And he immediately recognises the guilt-ridden expression that you mar.

Namjoon shoots you a stern glare, “Don’t overthink it.”

You sigh.

“Jungkook and I …” You start, fiddling with your thumbs. “We grew up together.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes and shoots you another one of his bland stares. “I know the history. I just want to know why?”

You furrow your brows, “Why?”

“Why the two of you insist on being so emotionally constipated.”

You gape at his audacity, and you’re glad the atmosphere isn’t as tense because Namjoon simply snickers at your reaction.

“I am not—!”

He waves you off, “Really?” He adds dryly.

You purse your lips and relent, even if you didn’t want to agree with him—you knew that he was … right. To a certain extent.

“We kissed.” You blurt.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, “That’s not surprising.”

You shoot him a dry look before he raises his hands in defence.

“He was my first kiss.”

At this, Namjoon’s widen.

“When you were in high school?” He pries.

You flush, embarrassed that you had to tell him otherwise.

“Two months ago.” You mutter.

Namjoon splutters, and you can’t help but glare at him when he quite literally chokes on his spit. You know you caught him off guard, but him rubbing salt in the wound that’s relatively fresh makes you scowl.

“Oh.” He clears his throat. Then he repeats, “Oh.”

You scoff, “Yeah. Oh.”

“Then … what happened?” You know he’s treading carefully with you when he asks you his question softly.

You purse your lips, and you recall every single moment you’ve shared with him. From giggles to hushed kisses, to intimate touches and sweat-stained sheets that have you gasping for air. You remember it all, and they meant … they meant the world to you, but just a speck in his memory.

“Things escalated and we … did stuff together.” You wince.

Namjoon nods in understanding, he gestures his hands around, “Like—”

“I’m a virgin.”

Namjoon blinks.

“And for the longest time, I felt embarrassed about it.”

“Oh.”

“I struggled to find my footing between being sexually liberated and being a woman because for the longest time I thought those two were mutually exclusive. For me, at least.” You say softly.

Namjoon only stares at you.

“And I always wanted validation from someone else to tell me that what I was doing was the right thing to do. Or the supposed thing to do. Never what I really wanted to do.”

“Not that I’m uncomfortable but … why are you letting me in on this?” Namjoon asks with a raised brow.

“Because I want to do something for myself for once.” You whisper.

“Okay …?”

“Why do you like me? Even if I’m … boring and not as sexy as other women?”

You sound pathetic, and the first person you find yourself comparing yourself to is Jennie—a beautiful, confident woman who looked so assured in herself.

“You’re not—”

You groan.

“Namjoon.”

“Okay.” He sighs. “If you’re asking me if I care that you’re a virgin, then no. I really don’t. Because frankly, that concept to me is false and problematic. Whether or not you’ve had sex or not isn’t any of my business.”

You duck your head.

“And I like you because you’re interesting. You’re funny and you’re assured in your own way. You don’t need to be a certain standard of pretty or sexy or whatever for me to like you. I like you because of the time we’ve spent together and that I’ve gotten to know you. The real you and not the person I admired from afar but the girl who throws in jokes out of nowhere but fits so well with the situation. The girl who’s willing to spend three extra hours of her time to help with content that wasn’t prescribed to her. I like you because I’d like to think I’ve grown to understand who you are.”

Namjoon says all of those things while staring at you straight in the face and you feel compelled to cry. Because no one has ever been so honest with you and you hate that your heart can’t reciprocate what should be an easy feeling that comes naturally.

“Fuck.”

His eyes widen.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He coos, a hand petting your hair gently as you sniffle.

“It’s not, Namjoon. Everything sucks because everything is so complicated. Why can’t I just have feelings for you instead?”

It’s selfish, and Namjoon winces. But you’re so overwhelmed that you miss it, and Namjoon is too nice to point his own feelings out.

“You don’t pick and choose your battles, _____.” He murmurs softly.

“That’s not what my mom told me.” You whimper.

He chuckles, “Yeah. Most people like to believe that because it makes them think that they have a choice over the bad things that happen in their lives. But in reality? They don’t. No one decides what happens to them. You pick and choose how you react to things. How you deal with situations and what you make out of those situations is what you can choose to do. You don’t like me, and that’s fine. You don’t have to just because I’m nice to you, _____. Being nice is the absolute bare minimum and something that everyone should feel and do.”

Your face crumbles, “Why are you so wise?”

Namjoon smiles, “I’m not. It’s called offering a different perspective. Just because I see things one way doesn’t make me any better than you who sees things in another. That’s why we meet different types of people throughout our lives. The good, the bad, the in-between. There’s always something people offer to us in the midst of chaos.”

You sigh.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon.”

He pats your head, “I said don’t apologise.”

“No, but I want to. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and you picked up a shitty situation to be in when Jungkook and Jennie were at the library. Even right after I kissed you. That was … a horrible thing to do. I shouldn’t have done that just because—just because I was confused … you don’t deserve that.”

He doesn’t look angry, and that’s even worst because you want him to react, to call you a bitch and say that you were a horrible person.

“I don’t.” He shrugs while you wince. “But a lot of the times we don’t deserve a lot of things that we get. And that’s okay. You did what you thought was justified then, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. But you’re hurting too, and you’re confused—that’s what drove you to do the things that you did, and even here. That’s why you’re apologising to me, right? Because you’re not as confused anymore?”

You shake your head.

“I am, I’m still so confused.” You whisper.

“Then let me offer you another perspective.”

You look up to him with big eyes as he smiles at you gently.

“You have feelings for Jungkook.” You immediately flinch, even if he didn’t hit you. But Namjoon continues. “You’re trying to keep the picture as simple as you can even if it hurts you in the process. But

“You don’t understand, Namjoon … we … did things … that I’m not proud off …”

“You don’t have to—”

“He was my first kiss. My first … sexual experience. Even if it was just … third base,” You cringe, but Namjoon isn’t judging you at all. “A-and that’s all I was to him. An experience.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Do I, Namjoon?” You say softly. “He said things to me that were so hurtful. And a stupid part of me forgives him but it still hurts every time I think about it and when I see him with Jennie.”

You whisper the words Jungkook’s said to you, and for the first time, you see Namjoon’s jaw harden. The most emotion that wasn’t rationale you’ve seen in Namjoon ever since you first arrived.

“I know it hurts.” He murmurs, holding you close. “And I really don’t want it to seem like I’m justifying his words … but would you want to hear me out?”

You purse your lips and nod nevertheless.

“Jungkook isn’t a bad person.” You blink, you never thought he was. “I know you don’t think he is but you want to. Because of the things he’s said to you because why would a good person say those kinds of things, right? But the world isn’t black and white like that. There’s a grey area where 99% of the population falls into because we operate on emotion and sometimes we say things that we may feel but not necessarily believe in.”

“Jungkook … he’s still young. And I know we’re in college and stuff but he’s still three years younger than I am and two years younger than you. He’s spoken to me about how hard it was to adjust to a high school life where you, Jimin and Tae weren’t a part of. And I don’t know about you but if the only friends I’ve ever known suddenly left because they had to … I wouldn’t know what to do either. He was at a point in his life where his environment played a huge part in the values and internalised beliefs he had.”

You look away as you reflect on his words, nibbling on your bottom lip.

“He mixed around with different groups of people, and I hate this saying but it’s still a common belief to many—especially people his age, almost out of high school. But the ‘boys will be boys’ mentality is more than just misogyny and sexism, but a culture where it feeds off complacency and peer pressure. Jungkook suddenly had to shift from three, good friends who were progressive and influential in an objectively good way to people he was obliged to like because they were his peers.”

You gape at him, purely because you knew that Namjoon was smart and wise but his introspection leaves you breathless and enlightened.

“But that doesn’t change the core of Jungkook,” Namjoon says. “He’s still Jungkook. He doesn’t know how to ask for things that he wants without feeling like he’s betraying his masculinity. And again, I’m not justifying his actions because he’s a grown man too. But he’s lost, and the only thing he knows to uphold this sense of masculinity is by being sexually liberated. Even if he conflates his own emotions with his endeavours.”

“I … I don’t even know what to say Namjoon.” You murmur, eyes looking up through your lashes.

“You don’t need to say anything. I just want you to be honest to yourself, not anyone else. But yourself.” He tells you, carding a gentle hand over your head.

You fiddle with your thumbs.

“What do you want?”

Despite you confiding two different people, you find yourself at a convenience store at 12AM, scarfing down ramen from a cup noodle because your mind was a funny place when it was muddled with a hundred different thoughts. You knew sleep wasn’t an option for you either, and you were hungry. But somehow you didn’t have anything back in your apartment that screamed ‘I’m in a crisis’ enough for you to eat.

Which is why you’re here, while the cashier keeps his eyeball to himself when he sees yet another college student who’s probably having their third mental breakdown of the day.

It is, but not for the right reasons, you think dryly.

You think you’re alone until the chime of the bell momentarily distracts you and you turn your head to acknowledge the next lone customer who may be going through their own set of issues, or had a fucked up sleeping schedule.

But you’re not expecting to make eye contact with Jennie, out of everyone or any stranger you could’ve come across.

She spots you, shoots you a weird look that has you nearly choking on a string of noodles before she moves on to what she came here to do and stops at the snack section, skimming through her options before she settles on a pack of shrimp chips. Your heart churns because they were Jungkook’s favourite. You don’t want to wonder why she picked them.

You turn to your noodles, scarf them down some more because you want to eat your thoughts away even if you’re half-considering to call Jungkook, tell him you wanted to talk. But you knew that if you spoke to him now when you were still sorting out your thoughts, you’d end up in a situation you won’t be ready to deal with.

So when you poke at your food and sigh to yourself, you almost miss the way the stool beside you scrapes against the floor as you cringe.

You turn to shoot a petty glare at the person, and you see Jennie; casually tearing open her chips and popping one into her mouth

You blink at her, and you’re left even more speechless when she juts her hand out as if to offer you a shrimp cracker. Like it was a weird symbol of a truce. Even if you weren’t really … enemies.

“Want some?”

You stare at her, and before you can think twice your lips are moving.

“The crackers or your company?” You say dryly.

Her eyes widen, and so does yours. You didn’t expect to say your exact thoughts and you don’t think she expected a quiet, timid girl like you to have said that—out loud at least. Like Yena said, everyone has a mean bone in them. Some longer and larger than others, but they were still there.

“Wow.” She huffs, but she doesn’t seem offended. “Rude, much?”

You wince and feel compelled to apologise. “Sorry.”

She waves you off and you feel odd to be sitting next to her. You always expected her to be more malicious, a lot more of a bitch. And you frown to yourself because you suppose it’s your own preconceived notions of her due to the association she has with Jungkook that had you thinking of her that way.

“What’s someone like you doing here on a weekday?” She asks off-handedly.

The term ‘someone like you’ doesn’t sit well with you, and you scowl.

“I’m eating. What does it look like?” You retort, and Jennie only raises an eyebrow at your response. Much like an angry kitten.

“Damn, I was just asking.” She mutters under her breath, “I’m hungry. Needed a snack.” She shakes the crackers in front of you, “You sure you don’t want one?”

You can’t believe her as you gape at her easy-going state when she thrusts the bag of crackers into your face yet again.

“No.” You furrow your brows, gently pushing it away as she shrugs her shoulders.

“It’s good.” She reasons, and you don’t know why she’s so adamant about having you take one.

The irrational part of you thinks she wants to poison you, to eliminate you for good so she won’t have to deal with your pathetic pining over a person that wasn’t even yours.

“I know.” You mutter. “I tried it before.”

Jennie nods her head slowly, observing the content of the packet on the back before she turns to face you, “Jungkook introduced this to me. Didn’t see the appeal but it’s addictive.”

You freeze, and your ramen soup is getting cold with the way you haven’t prodded at it for a while and in the air-conditioning in the convenience store. You feel your stomach drop, especially now that your initial suspicions were confirmed.

“That’s nice.” You grit. It really isn’t.

“Did he introduce it to you?” She asks with a tilt of her head.

Why you’re still talking to her, or why she was bothering to talk to you when she’s ignored you all this while—you aren’t sure. But you still answer her despite the spite that forms in your chest.

“I introduced it to him.” You inform.

She hums, unbothered. It only irritates you more.

“Is there a reason?” You huff. “Why you’re here?”

She raises an eyebrow, “I’m hungry?”

You scoff. “No.” You slam the table ever so slightly because even if you were annoyed and confused, you weren’t that brave and you didn’t want to cause a scene at a convenience store at midnight. “Why are you here. Talking to me.”

Jennie blinks at you, then stares at you for seconds too long that you flush under her unwavering stare before she ends up in a fit of giggles. You almost think she’s here to mock you, to call you out on your pathetic and humiliating pining for someone who doesn’t care about you the same way you do to him. But she pats you on the shoulder, and you want to think it’s condescending but it doesn’t seem that way at all.

“You’re an acquaintance. You looked like you needed the company.”

You frown, “I don’t.”

She rolls her eyes, munching on another chip.

“You do. Your posture looks depressing.”

“Excuse me?” You scowl.

“It’s true.” She shrugs. “You don’t seem the type to be here wallowing unless it’s really bad. You seem like you have your shit together.”

And because your mind is already muddled and confused, and filled with irrational thoughts. Her words set you off, and you seem to be underrating or overreacting more than usual. So you snap, you shove your cup aside that the soup nearly sloshes out and send her a glare so blazing that Jennie’s caught off guard.

“And you think you know me well enough to gauge whether or not I’m ‘like this’ or the type to have a perfect mental breakdown regimen because I’m smart?” You seethe. Jennie’s eyes widen. “I have mental breakdowns like every other student and I binge eat when I’m stressed and I fuck up from time to time. I curse, yes! I see your face. Oh does she not curse? Well, look at me, bitch. I can curse like a motherfucking sailor at sea when the fishes come because I’m human. I’m just like you. So fuck off with your ‘you seem like you have your shit together’ because I don’t and I’m so fucking annoyed with your stupid face whenever I see it because it only reminds me of Jungkook!”

The silence is defining, even the cashier stops counting his bills for the night because you don’t hear the rubbing of money together. You feel his stare on your back, and more pressingly, you feel Jennie’s shocked expression linger on your face, and now that you’ve come down from your rage. Your face heats up in embarrassment.

You don’t even recall what you said, except for the fact you’ve mentioned her and Jungkook in the same sentence. And your face pales.

“I …” She chokes.

You flush, before you’re turning away, snatching your belongings to leave and forget this convenience store and never return because you don’t think you can show your face here ever again.

But before you’re able to make a run for it, a hand grabs your elbow that stops you from moving any further.

“This is already as embarrassing—” You exasperate, trying to snatch your arm away.

“For a girl so smart, you’re really dumb, aren’t you?” She deadpans.

You gape, finding enough strength to retrieve your arm as you stare at her with a dumbfounded expression.

“Excuse me—?”

“Firstly, let’s unpack what you just said because there are a lot of things that need to be dissected here.” She says blankly.

You scowl, “Look I don’t—”

“One.” She blinks as if she was doing a presentation for a course and not talking to an alleged acquaintance. “I don’t think you should act a certain way just because you’re smart. You’re entitled to your own mechanisms and I’m not judging you for them. I was simply pointing out my own observations, and I’m sorry for being insensitive.”

You’re stunned to silence, because did Jennie just … apologise to you?

“Two.” She says. You listen silently. “I think you have things you need to talk to Jungkook about, and frankly—I would’ve stayed away if I knew that the two of you were a thing.”

“We’re not a thing!” You cry, face flushed.

She shoots you an unimpressed look, “Really. So that oddly targeted blow-up was because of your mental breakdown and not because you don’t have feelings for Jungkook?”

She’s the third person to call you out the same day, or within the first one in the next. And it’s even more embarrassing because it’s the girl you’ve compared yourself to countless times because of your own insecurities.

“Yes.” You snap childishly.

Jennie sighs, gesturing for you to sit on the stool. You want to defy her out of spite, but you’ve already gotten this far into the conversation and you feel like you’d miss out on something if you left now.

“Why are you mad at me?” She asks.

“I-I’m not mad—” You weakly protest.

“You are. There’s anger in you and if it’s not directed to Jungkook then it’s directed to me. Is it because I’m a woman?”

Your eyes widen, “What—?”

“Let me reword that,” She sighs. “Is it because I’m the woman with Jungkook?”

You flinch at her declaration, especially since she indirectly confessed to being with him, while you weren’t.

“I don’t …” You trail off in a whisper.

“I don’t blame you for being angry.” She says. “But I need you to understand that I would never have done anything with him if I knew that the two of you were together.”

“We’re not.” You blink, and her unimpressed look is still there that makes you speak a little louder. “We’re not together.”

She opens her mouth to say something, then shuts it. You see her furrow her eyebrows before she settles for a response that comes a few moments after.

“Okay, then if you’re not together then why the resentment?” She puts it so simply and now that you’re listening to her, you feel a lot stupider.

“I just …” You croak, fiddling with your fingers, “I don’t …”

She sighs, “Listen. We’re both women here. I know how it feels to be left in the dark when it comes to things like this but there’s no point in being angry at me when in reality it’s Jungkook you need to talk to. If you aren’t together then I don’t understand why you’re angry with me—or with him.”

You sit there in silence, nearly pouting like a scolded child.

“You’re his type.” You say softly.

Jennie pauses before she raises an eyebrow.

“And you believe that?”

You furrow your eyebrows, “I mean, of course?” You mumble, “You’re pretty, confident and sexy. Any guy would like you.”

For a moment, you think you’ve said too much. Looked to vulnerable. But Jennie doesn’t do the typical mean girl thing where she laughs in your face and threatens to expose you. Instead, her eyes soften, and her hand reaches out to hold yours.

“____.” She calls your name gently, and you look away, embarrassed. “You’re pretty. You’re confident. You are sexy.”

You flush, “No. I’m not.”

She scoffs, “_____, there isn’t a set definition of what a pretty woman is like. Nor is there a one-dimensional understanding of a confident woman. There are confident women who strut in their walk and commands all the attention in the room. But there are also quiet, assured women who are intelligent and confident in their capabilities. Both of them are so different, but the one thing that they have in common?” She prompts as your eyebrows furrow. “They’re both women who are worthy of love.”

You blink up at her when her tone goes softer.

“I don’t think I’m Jungkook’s type.” She tells you.

But for some reason you need to deny it, again.

“I think you are.” You mumble, “You’re … you. And you’re probably … experienced.” You cringe at what you say, and you’re mortified if you need to explain yourself to her. But Jennie immediately picks up on it, and you don’t notice how she tenses for a split second but recovers immediately.

“We’ve done things together, yes.” You feel your heart shatter, “But you don’t have to do anything with him for him to like you.”

You sigh, “Maybe. But that's the only way he’s ever wanted me.” You say so softly that Jennie almost doesn’t catch it.

Jennie’s face softens much more, turning into a much gentler expression as she nudges your chin to look at her. And when you do, you feel wounded. You feel so much less assured than you were when you were raging at her. You hated it, how she treated you so kindly when she should’ve been cursing at you like you did to her.

“Do you want to know something?” She asks.

You nibble on your lips before you nod your head.

“If someone doesn’t want you. It’s not because you’re lacking. It’s because they’re lacking the sense to perceive you in a way that recognises your inherent worth to be loved.”

Your breath hitches and Jennie continues.

“I’ve had instances where men didn’t want to sleep with me because I was too confident, too sexually liberated for them. As if who I slept with mattered because it wasn’t them. It was never going to be them.”

“I didn’t sleep with Jungkook.” You tell her, voice soft as if you needed to clarify.

“And you don’t need to. You don’t need to sleep with anyone for them to want you. If Jungkook only wants you for your body then he doesn’t deserve you.” She points out.

You feel your heart clench, and the realisation coming from Jennie only hurts even more.

“But he’s important to me …” You whisper.

“What’s important is not always what’s good for you.” She informs you with a gentle smile. “Your sexuality is yours. And if you want to sleep or be sexual with someone, you do it because you want to. Not because someone coerced you into doing it.”

Your eyes widened, “N-No. Jungkook didn’t force me. I consented. To all of it.” You murmur, “I wanted to do it. B-But I just felt so … lacking? In comparison and … since then all he’s came to me for was just … that.”

Jennie nibbles on her bottom lip, “Jungkook’s not a bad person.” She says softly. And she’s the second person that tells you that. So you know it’s a true reflection of his character.

“I know.”

She smiles, “We both do.” She nods, “But he’s misguided. He’s never had the ability to be with someone he really cares for and I think when that happened—he dealt with it the only way he knows how to.”

You furrow your brows, “But he’s with you.”

She shakes her head with a small chuckle, “No. Not emotionally, at least.” She informs. “And he doesn’t care about me. I know. He’s always kept me at arms-length away, and I’m fine with that because I don’t like him like that either.”

You blink, and your ears turn red. “H-How do you—?”

“How do I separate lust from affection?” She laughs. “It’s because I can. Not everyone can do that, and Jungkook is one of them.”

“But you just said that he didn’t care about you.”

“I’m not talking about me,” She smiles sadly.

Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion until you realise what she was implying. And you don’t want to assume anything, never. Because hope was the one feeling that was worse than fear and you didn’t want to subject yourself to that just yet.

“Oh.” You mumble.

She nods, squeezing your hand.

“I think he misses you.”

You purse your lips.

You missed him, too.

[chasingshhadows]

ok so I am now officially five episodes in and I have Thoughts.

Michael is *sigh* wow. just - so good. so perfect. he is everything i’ve ever wanted in a disaster bi boy. he is all snark and heat and anger, but when his walls come down boy do they make a ruckus when they crash. he is so soft and sweet and caring - the way he always touches Iz to comfort her stabs me yo. I die. He has every reason to want to light up the world bc the world has burned him again and again and again - but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to light up the world, he just wants to get through the days with the people he loves, and oh how he loves them.

I will never not die for Michael’s little flashes of optimism when Alex shows up. “If you keep showing up like this Imma start thinking you like me” “Wanna go for a ride?” UGH BB

Michael’s willingness to sacrifice himself for his family and take the fall - and how he doesn’t fight back when Max shoves him, despite that it’s definitely a fight Max would not win - is so painfully on brand and I love hate it. 

Malex feels at the end y’all, i have so many

I just really wanna give Alex Manes a hug and tell him I love him. Michael loves him. Michael’s family would love him too if he would give them all a chance ugh. I am so Here for his badass anger at everything he’s been through. So often, abuse victims - in fiction and in life - aren’t able to criticize or feel anger toward their abuser, but yo that is not Alex. He is angry and he is done. He called his father a monster. He confronted him at the drive-in and yo, babe, you are giving me Life.

That goes for his dealings with Kyle too - this is a man who has had 10 years to process his trauma and discover new, worse trauma to boot. He doesn’t have time for anyone’s excuses. People treated him like shit bc he was gay and he’s not gonna let them pretend it was anything different than bigotry and selfish fear.  

It is... painful. Seeing Alex’s walls up. He threw up sheets at Michael at first, and they’re mostly down for Liz and Maria, but with anyone else, he’s just walking around in the box made of lead and it hurts bc this is a man that has learned that everyone is the enemy until they’re not, and it hurts even more bc he’s been proven right so much.

Liz is gorgeous and fierce and i am Here For her fight for the truth and her logical processing and how she just tries so hard to shut out her emotions to get to the truth - tries, at least. I’m here for how adorable she is with Kyle and her softness with her father and her indignation and anger at a town of racists.

Episode 1 had me falling down that Echo well hard and tbh idk that I wanna crawl back up. Liz’s love for Max is this like, untouchable thing that’s been simmering under her skin for a decade and it’s very lovely to watch.

That said - I am Here For distractions and Kyle makes a lovely one.

Speaking of Kyle holy???? shit???? I love him??? so much???? I’ve seen Michael T in a few other things and he’s always been that like, douchebag character that gets duped by a big bad into being this hapless pawn in the evil plot that eventually learns the error of his ways. and RNM was setting him up to be exactly that. Except - Kyle didn’t fall for it. He questioned and pushed back and did his own digging and I am so proud of him?? 

I am also absolutely living for his complete acknowledgement and owning of his shitty behavior in the past. He doesn’t make excuses, he just tries to do better.

Iz - my dear, sweet, loving bb Izabel. I had v little love for her by the end of ep 1 but now holy shit this women, this golden goddess, she is so pure and good and she loves her boys more than anything else in the whole world and fuck she just Tries So Hard, she’s never stopped trying and hiding and ugh, that scene with Noah when she just tried to ignore all the trauma of that evening to be there for him like, i can’t.

Max has all the makings of a broodish toughguy leading male, and tbh i imagine eventually it might get annoying, but i am really enjoying his sibling sputtering and whining with Iz and his just like, flayed-alive openness of his feelings with Liz.

“You know what got me out of bed in the morning? How much i love you two” cue all the sobbing alien family feels yo, holy shit.

Max really isn’t doing anything right? Not with Liz, not with Iz or Michael, certainly not with Cam or Kyle even, but it just seems like he is drowning and flailing for any kind of lifeline and isn’t sure what the right path is and honestly? same.

We haven’t seen enough of Maria but i love her smirk and her hesitations and her tolerance. I enjoy that she’s always cheerful and has a smile, but when it cracks, oh does it shatter. Rosa is her weak spot and idk if she’ll ever heal from the wound she left behind.

I need Jesse Manes to die a fiery death.

ok so... Malex.

I had already seen the wake up scene but LET’S TALK ABOUT IT ANYWAY bc Alex waking up Michael by gently touching his body like he just can’t stop himself and Michael’s soft joy at Alex having stayed (you staaaayed) and Alex forever answering Michael’s questions with touch when he doesn’t have the words and ugh - that thumb. those lips. - i have a new sexual orientation and it’s those lips and that thumb.

Alex says anyone finding out about them would be bad and ugh, that hurts, that hurts so bad but Michael just. Sighs. don’t worry about it. Bc he’s resigned to having what little of Alex he can get and he’d do anything to keep it.

ALEX PLANNED A DATE. He showed up with a six pack and no, he’s not quite ready for a dinner and a movie thing, but he’s taking his baby steps where he can get them and he just wanted to sit on Michael’s tailgate and watch a movie with him and IT WAS SO PRECIOUS.

SEEN IT BEFORE. HATE HOW IT ENDS. ugh bb me too

But - Alex is still Alex. and Michael is still Michael. Michael has every reason in the world to fuck the system and take what he can get bc the system took everything from him. But Alex - he’s spent ten years crafting this person he thinks he wants to be. It’s not who his father wants him to be, not quite, but it’s someone with dignity and honor and principals bc that’s a person he thinks he can live with being. And fuck that is so valid.

And Michael - Michael says fuck principals. Fuck honor. Honor never saved him from the horrors he endured, why should he play by the rules? And fuck that is so valid. 

MAYBE IT’S TIME WE ALL TELL THE TRUTH TO THE PEOPLE WE LOVE.

Alex found space ship! Isabel caused those girls’ deaths! Wyatt Long is a piece of shit! Noah left Iz :( 

I have been reliably informed that episode 6 will kill me so - ~don’t forget to delete my internet history~

[remi-demi94]

Questions 1, 13 & 25 for the Arcana Apprentice Ask (:

Ooooooooo these are gooodies, Sofia!!

1. Where is their favorite place to hang out in Vesuvia? Why?

Ahem... well viewer discretion is advised but... it's definitely @wingcinna 's OC Anastacio's lap for... spicy reasons... lmaooooo

Jk hhmmm.... her favorite place in Vesuvia... She actually has three, the Docks, the Marketplace, and the Red Market. She loves the docks because she has a powerful connection to the water. Remy loves all bodies of water tbh, and she'd love to live by the sea if she ever had the opportunity. Little does she know, she actually was born and raised on a secluded island, and her mom still lives there to this day... that's why she has such a strong connection to the sea.

She loves the Marketplace because she likes seeing all the vendors and their products, especially flourists, the bread guy's shop, jewelers, crystal enthusiasts, and traveling merchants. She can't get enough of the experience lol.

As for the Red Market, she can't stand going to the Coliseum because she knows how Nadia, Muriel, and Asra feel about it, but since the Red Market is under it, she makes the exception. Honestly she really likes going there because she likes finding taboo or forbidden items. Sometimes she tries to hide stuff she finds from the Red Market from Asra, but Faust usually finds it and shows it to Asra lmaooooo. If there are any animals being held captive or being neglected down there, she's either going bargain with the seller or just straight up set them free. Honestly she just likes the thrill of going to a kinda dangerous place, she can hold her own though so she's not worried.

Ooh!!! I almost forgot about Nadia's contemplation tower!! That's a favorite spot of hers too!! It's soooo beautiful and peaceful there. Honestly if Nadia would let her, she'd stay in there for hours just to admire the architecture and waterfalls.

13. How fo they feel about traveling in the realms? (Nervous? Excited? Other??)

Remy is usually more curious about the realms more than anything. She's a curious cat, sometimes getting into stuff she shouldn't, but she behaves herself in the magic realms. It also kinda depends on which realms she's going to too. She loved the The Hierophants realm... she thought it was sooooooo beautiful with the high ceilings and artwork all over the building. And the fact that they have a artwork collection and a wine cellar??!? Hell yeah she adores the place!!

Remy also loves The High Priestess' realm. She has a thing a pillars and symbols, so she was right at home in her realm. She would also go to get her education on with the High Priestess lol. Not to mention the large moon and how it's surrounded by water, it's a stunning view to her. Remy was a little intimidated by The Hanged Man's realm, not because of the scenery but because of the unknown traps and uncertainty of where they might be. She felt a little better about it when the Hanged Man indirectly talked to her through Julian. She would go back just to learn more about the Hanged Man.

When she went to The Stars realm, she immediately thought of Portia lol, her bubbliness, and optimism, her smile, everything. Remy would visit The Star just to chat with her again. Don't even ask about the Devil's realm. If her loved ones weren't on the line thanks to the Devil being a total ass, she might've humored the Devil and complimented his realm on its design as well... but no, she's not giving anything to the one magic being that's been a thorn in everyone's side. As for the Magician's realm?? Ohhhhhh man!! That's her favorite. Like I said before, she llloooooovvvvveeeees the beach, and that's essentially what the Magician's realm is. She likes how playful and mysterious the Magician is too.

Mini fun fact: Remy has a soft spot for Scout because she loves dogs (well... and all animals tbh). Also, Scout kinda looks like Remy's very first pup as a child named Sunny, who was a white miniature schnauzer.

25. Are they still scared of the Lazaret?

She's never going to admit it, but she is terrified of it. She gets these really life-like nightmares where she feels like she's burning alive, especially now after she's discovered that she did die at the Lazaret. Before she found out about her death, she would have those nightmares, actually feeling like she was burning in her bed. It would horrify her so much she'd wake up sobbing. It's the worst if Asra wasn't there when she woke up during those years she had relearn everything. She would frantically try to figure out what that place is and would sleep for days. The nightmares are more tolerable now as long as she's with someone.

[magmacannon]

ASK MEME.... all even numbers for roman

BIG ONE... let’s do this babey!! i’ve replaced some of them with odds bc I’ve done them already (and want to answer some of the odd questions fgdfh)

12. What is their favourite food? Well-cooked meat and hearty northern food! He’s got a lot of favorite foods, but most could be described as hearty or savory. 14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?He is... emotionally attached to bread now tbh. He’ll remember simple meals with a lot of laughter for weeks/months down the line. 15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?He likes cooking, he’s mediocre at it. He doesn’t suck but he only has a small list of things he can like... actually cook with any skill. I think that his family things it’s decent??? but Roman is def prone to make the same thing for many days in a row if left on his own fgfhjd18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything elseLoves romance/fiction books!! He loves a whole lot of music, and while video games/tv doesn’t exist here he is a fan of puzzle/strategy board games. 20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?Roman LOVES music - he was raised with it and it’s just sort a daily part of life for him. He’ll hum if he’s working or bored or happy, or even melancholy tbh. He def likes musicals and has seen his fair share of performances of live music. 21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?His temper usually takes a miracle to actually rile. He’ll get frustrated with stuff (i.e. if a potion isn’t working) pretty easily and will let off steam usually in the form of an angry spell, but gets over that quickly. As far as dealing with people though? He’s going to be understanding and give people the benefit of the doubt when he really doesn’t need to/shouldn’t. If you manage to make him furious he’ll either just freeze up or lash out suddenly - very dangerous with magic. 22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?He doesn’t insult people!!!! If he had someone he was not a fan of he’ll most likely just sneer about it. THOUGH again, if its someone who’s really got his goat he’ll probably go on to someone else about how they’re a little turd and not worth the effort to use a spell on them. 24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?He sleeps regularly but has a lot of trouble sleeping if he’s away from home/not in a bed. He snores only a little (small snorts once and a while). He will sleep on the softest surface imaginable (OR his husband), but does like the support of a firm mattress plus a lot of pillows. 26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? Grinning from ear to ear and incredibly easy to laugh. Roman’s got a good mood that either makes you feel good or makes you really miffed bc he’s so ridiculously open about how happy he is. If he’s overwhelmed he’ll bounce with his heels lifted a bit and bite his lower lip. 27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?I did this question specifically to call him a MASSIVE CRYBABY. He’ll cry about just about anything if he’s got an extreme enough emotion in that direction. He’s also (usually) highly sympathetic, so any sad situations for people or animals have a chance to make him cry. He very rarely tries to hide it and is awful at hiding how sad he is, he looks like a kicked dog if he’s not being forward with it. 28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?Oh geez biggest fear is losing his family/doing something Wrong and having his loved ones leave him. He’s very scared of isolation although he won’t mention it. He acts like he’s sad but will start to isolate himself, and gets frustrated/lashes out more when he’s scared (though he’ll immediately apologize for it). Less serious fears are spiders and heights a bit. 29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? Overprotective to the max, although he’s working at curbing that impulse to a more reasonable level. He’ll do everything he can to protect someone from their fear, but will let them face it (with help) if he thinks it can be overcome. 32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?He dresses like WIZARD - you’ll see him in a robe unless it’s getting cleaned, and looks Decent to Very Good in it. He’s had to get his robe tailored from the Roanroot tailor, but will window shop at a wizard store in Wunjo once a month or so. His casual clothes are simple in design and sturdy, and are... honestly often his husband’s clothing. His underclothes for his robe are tighter-fitting - he has a range from just underwear to a pair of leggings/long-sleeved shirt for winter. 34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?Body type is Twink. He’s 5′6″ and not muscular, a little bit soft around the edges. He has a SPECTACULAR butt (bc that’s where his magic is stored). He’s okay with his body, but wishes that he was more fit sometimes. 36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?Good at magic, good at emotional connections (I think???), good at learning/decent at teaching, good at loving his friends, and good at singing! He’s got a pretty dang good singing voice and memory for songs. His hobbies are testing new spells and making potions, as well as exploring the forest (though he’s a little cautious about it since he nearly got fae-snatched).37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?Loves to read but is slow. He absorbs a lot of info from one read-through but it takes him time. He likes poetry! and prefers fiction to non-fiction but has read some really good nonfiction on spells. 38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?Roman admires caring, optimism (or at least pragmatism), personal strength, tenacity, and friendliness, as well as rad magic skills. He also admires people who can do athletic things and wishes that he were able to do that too.40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?He drinks tea! He also has a major sweet tooth, and doesn’t do coffee bc it’s too bitter for him. 42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?His goals are to keep learning spells, meet new people and make friends, spend as much time with his family in a comfy house as he can, and maybe??? get some chances to cast really cool spells. He’d sacrifice anything and honestly everything for his husband and his kids, and would defend his friends with his life. He’ll fight for peace and his home to a kind of terrifyingly vicious level. 44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? Fall! He loves dry warmth and crispy cool mornings, and loves summer storms. He fares far better in cold than in heat, and complains like crazy if there’s a humid heat. 46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?His first impression is genuine but also trying a bit too hard - definitely comes across as awkward. He’ll introduce himself politely enough but stumbles over his words when he’s trying to introduce himself unless he practiced that particular greeting for about a week beforehand. His first impression is pretty spot on to how he normally acts, but he’s also less awkward in day-to-day life. 48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? He enjoys small parties with friends! He’ll invite people over to have dinner and mingle, but gets overwhelmed if he’s at too big of a party. If you gave him ample warning he could definitely function in a high-class party, but would be reserved and would prefer to spend it with someone else. 50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? He’d bring a sleeping bag, his spell book, a picture of his family, his wedding ring, and some basic food (as well as a health potion if he can fit it). OH his staff too bc he needs that and can use it for carrying/whapping. 

[magioftheseas]

What do you think of an au where Kamukura somehow ends up saving Matsuda last second? Also do you think Komaeda would end up finding out he’s still alive and if so what do you think his reaction would be?

I THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT ALL THE DAMN TIME.

For one thing, both Island Mode Matsun and sdr2 protag!au had Kamukura be the one who saved Matsuda from Junko. And like, basically Matsuda had been kept isolated as he recovered which…

…hadn’t been pretty. Lot of stitches required to keep him together. And he wasn’t in the best mood, needless to say. Since Kamukura is caring for him, though, Kamukura is more focused on him than he would be for Junko. I’m kinda going back and forth over whether I want Matsuda to be like, a late addition to the remnants (I do want him to be in hiding for a considerable amount of time and tbh, I do imagine he just…full on falls into complete despair after Junko dies) so it’s toooough… But… Also… I want Junko’s presence in the NWP to be both Kamukura and Matsuda’s decisions because that would be interesting.

Komaeda definitely would be surprised and beyond elated to find out he’s alive, but his excitement would die down a lot when he sees just how depressed and listless Matsuda is. I like to think he’d retain a soft spot for Matsuda, however, and when it comes to asking for favors or assistence, Komaeda is a lot more open to any requests Matsuda might make when anyone else would get…mixed results, let’s say. It’s a sort of light optimism, but Komaeda’s not overly faithful unless he’s given strong reason to feel that way.

[d4rkr0se]

laughlongerlivestronger: the-serpentgamer: cryptidass: witha-smile-and-a-s0ng: strange-little-writer: arashi-chan336: boredandanxious-nick: inserqent: southerrncali: cassioppeia-star: effect-insanee: THE 16 PERSONALITY TEST is generally based on the personality indicator developed by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers. Their development of the test occurred in the 1940s and was built upon psychological research performed by Carl Jung in the 1920s. The type test is based on a series of questions that gather information on how a person usually responds or relates to various situations. The answers to these questions are calculated to determine the person’s individual personality type. Important insights can be gained by understanding personality type, such as optimal career choice, better romantic partnerships, and paths to personal growth. Personality Types: Tests that sort people into 16 different types which are organized by four pairs of opposite traits. These pairs are: Extraversion (E) and Introversion (I) Sensing (S) and Intuition (N) Thinking (T) and Feeling (F) Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) One of each pair is combined to create a 4-letter abbreviation for each personality type, such as: ESFP: extraversion (E), sensing (S), feeling (F), perception (P) INTJ: introversion (I), intuition (N), thinking (T), judgment (J) These personality traits are grouped into four categories that describe the way in which a person interacts with the world. Everyone experiences both traits in each pair, but usually one is more dominant than the other in the 16 personality test. Extraversion (E) Extroverts are energized when in the company of other people, unlike Introverts who are usually reserved, quiet, and prefer to be by themselves. Extroverts like speaking their minds and thrive in social situations. They are usually popular and well-liked by other people. Extroverts may feel down and become drained if they’re not in the company of others for too long. Introversion (I) Introverted people are quiet, reserved, and more comfortable being alone than an Extroverted person. Introverts prefer to rely on themselves for entertainment rather than seeking interaction or stimulation from others. They are usually self-sufficient and would rather work alone than in a group. Socializing drains an Introvert’s energy, and they need alone time to recharge. Because of this they put less emphasis on socializing and social skills than an extrovert would. Sensing (S) Sensing individuals place great emphasis on what they see, touch and experience in the real world, unlike Intuitive people who would rather live in their imaginations. Prioritizing facts and practicality, those with a Sensing character are outward-looking and prefer not to deal with philosophical ideas or introspective ponderings. They would rather focus on what they can concretely experience with their senses. Intuition (N) Intuitive individuals put emphasis on imagination and ideas, rather than what is actually in front of them. They tend to prioritize introspection and dreaming, and oftentimes feel like they do not belong or live in the real world. Unlike Sensing individuals, who enjoy seeing, touching and experiencing the world, intuitive people are inward-focused and prefer living in their own heads. While Sensing people like facts and practicality, Intuitive individuals tend to lean towards allusions, read between the lines, and analyze things at greater depth. Thinking (T) Thinking individuals are objective, rational, and logical. Their decisions and actions are usually governed more by their minds than by their hearts. Many people often judge Thinking people as lacking emotion, but that is not true. They can be just as emotional and sensitive as the Feeling group, but feelings are not their main priority, and they can hide their emotions or prevent them from coming to the surface. They prioritize facts over feelings. Feeling (F) Individuals with the Feeling trait care more about emotions and expressing them than what is deemed rational or logical. However, this does not mean that Feeling types are irrational; it only means that those with this trait are more likely to express their emotions, as compared to Thinking individuals who prefer to suppress their emotions. Those who focus on feelings and expressions of emotion tend to be more open-minded, vocal, empathetic, and sensitive. Judging (J) Those with the Judging trait tend to strategize and plan before they act. They’d prefer a thought-out plan over going with the flow. They are organized, reliable, responsible, and have very good work ethics. They are always prepared, armed with checklists and contingency plans. They are likely to commit to future plans, but may forget to live in the present. Perceiving (P) People who have the Perceiving trait rather than the Judging trait value their sense of freedom. They do not want to be tied down to a specific activity or commitment if they think there is something better that is worthy of their time. They are excellent in spotting new opportunities, and they grab them whenever they can. They are good with improvisation, even in emergency situations. They take life as it comes and feel stifled if forced to stick to a schedule. More than the Sum of Its Parts Each whole personality type is more than the sum of its traits. In addition to each of the four main traits of each profile, further personality insights from the personality test emerge when the combination of those traits are taken into consideration. For example, a person with the combination of Thinking (T) and Intuition (N) will behave differently than someone with the traits of Thinking (T) and Sensing (S). The combination of Thinking and Intuition reflects someone who is often in their head, thinking about all the different possible circumstances or even fantastic ideas. But someone with the Thinking and Sensing traits, who may also be often lost in their own thoughts, will be relying on their senses instead of their intuition, and their ponderings will be rooted in the current state of reality. Test your personality and discover more about yourself. aww I got ISFP! this is actually amazing, and tbh very comforting. Thank you

[limerencehqs-blog]

      ◜ஐ      /    * .          casually shows up l8 2 the party w a generic brand of coffee 2 drink bc they’re broke asf and can’t afford starbucks. [mark vc] hello everybody i go by nicole and welcome to my intro !! i’ll keep the info about me p short --- i’m twenty, go by she/they pronouns, and live in the est timezone !! while my life isn’t super hectic, i can get busy from time 2 time w work and other life things :-(( so pls b patient w me !! i’ll try 2 make it up 2 u, i promise. i love strawberries ,, and i frequently fall down youtube holes :-)) i’m currently in one now ,, send help. anywho, now i’ll move onto hanbin !! below the cut you’ll find some info about them !! however, i still need 2 set up their stats, bio and connection page ,, but i’m still down to plot !! just hmu or s m a s h that like button. ok ily. 

PARK JIMIN — ♔ The Paparazzi just spotted CHAE HANBIN on the street. THEY are supposedly 20 years old, and are a part of the group GEMINI as a SINGER. If you run into them you might notice they’re FELICIFIC and LOQUACIOUS, but also PEDANTIC and DIFFIDENT. * hanbin identifies as a demiboy, so their pronouns are they & he !! 

ALSO tw below for panic disorder.

biography and personality !! 

ok let’s start w the basics. hanbin was born in seoul, tho their parents weren’t exactly ready or prepared to raise a baby, so they put him up for adoption. that’s where hanbin’s adoptive parents come in !! a sweet lil australian family w no kids at the time -- they took hanbin into their home when he was just two months old, and they loved hanbin SO MUCH. they spoiled ( and continue to spoil ) them rotten tbh. 

hanbin grew up in melbourne, and bc of this, they have an accent !! tho they’re kinda insecure about it :-( ,, they often have a habit of talking A LOT ( seriously ,, this kid loves to ramble ) but that only causes them to feel super annoying and very bad :-( 

hanbin was brought up alongside their younger sister -- their adoptive parents’ biological child. she’s four years younger than him, and was sort of a surprise addition to the fam. nevertheless, hanbin was super stoked !! 

believe it or not ,, hanbin didn’t want to be a singer. they were planning on going away to uni for forensic science -- they’re a major crime nut and have seen ALL episodes of criminal minds and dexter at least three times. 

hanbin began singing when he was little, though it was more so just for fun ; a hobbie if u will. they sang in their school choir, that was about it. when in their second year in high school, hanbin joined an a cappella club ,, and they had a performance which somehow, someone filmed and put on the good ol’ internet ,, and before hanbin knew it, they were being scouted ?? which was ?? surprising 2 them ?? they didn’t think they were good ok. 

initially, they were super against the idea of auditioning, but their sister kinda made it seem super cool and she was just so proud and happy when hearing the news that hanbin didn’t want to let her down :-( he ended up auditioning, and well ,, clearly it went alright bc here he is !! one half of the group gemini ( which is funny bc he’s a gemini :-) ,, ) they debuted in 2013 ,, and things started off super great !! 

that being said, relocating from australia to south korea was difficult, and hanbin still struggles with learning korean. they’ve lived in south korea long enough now that they’re able to get around and understand things on their own, but learning languages is tough for them, and they get frustrated easily and it’s just ,, a lot for them :-( they’re able to write and read fairly well, but speaking is a whole different thing to them entirely. they kinda let other people do the talking for them, if they can help it. tho, when they do interviews requiring english, they’re ALL for it -- whilst also lowkey trying ( and failing ) to hide their accent. i told u, this kid LOVES to ramble on. 

he and his sister still video chat often, and she even travels to south korea whenever she can, to see him. she loves him vm :’) and he loves her, too. it’s just a wholesome relationship w them ok :’) and if hanbin likes someone ,, chances are they’ll mention their sister and talk about her for like ,, an hour to them. he also talks with his adoptive parents and if he’s texting someone ,, odds are they’re his adoptive parents. they may be super far apart geographically, but they’re still attached at the darn hip. ( hanbin’s a family person if u couldn’t tell ) 

unfortunately though, with the move to seoul, hanbin suffered from anxiety -- which lead to panic attacks :-( they don’t experience attacks on a frequent basis, but they do happen every now and again, and hanbin’s always afraid of them happening tbh. they dread the thought of having one while out in public. that’s why, whenever they’re not fulfilling obligations, they’re most likely indoors, holed up with a good crime novel or listening to crime podcasts. 

they’ll bust out random crime facts whether u like it or not >:-) 

they try to help write their own songs when they can, but find they’re not too good w words :-( they once rhymed orange with door hinge when they were ten ,, and that was about the highest point in their writing career ;;

also random fact of the night ,, hanbin’s a virgin and doesn’t know much about the good ol’ act of fornication -- or anything sexual really ,, rip. they get super flustered about that kind of stuff when it’s mentioned ?? which is gr8 bc they blush really easily and it’s super noticeable. ofc they just hide their face and repeat “ end me now ” until it’s over.

i think that’s it 4 now. im honestly half asleep, and this took 2 hours to put together and look over 2 make sure it was coherent. i fell asleep in between writing :-( 

quick plot ideas !! 

um ,, i’d cry if this happened but ,, a biological sibling maybe ?? bc hanbin doesn’t really know their birth parents ,, but maybe they find out about them and thus, their sibling too ?? 

their confidant !! or just close friends tbh. im a sucker for fluffy floof :’) 

mutual crushes :-)) or one-sided crushes ,, u know ,, if u wanna crush ur soul w angst. either works~ 

enemies ?? hanbin doesn’t really have a mean bone in their body, yet they somehow have a strong disliking for this person ?? OR, they strongly dislike hanbin ?? maybe bc of their constant optimism. 

maybe these 2 were seen in public once and people started shipping them idK it’s a cool thought. 

i have 2 get to bed bc work 2morrow ,, but pls feel free to suggest any plot that comes 2 mind tbh !! in no way are my wanted plots limited to just the ones mentioned above !! also thank u for reading. ilysm. 

[starrsquad-blog]

General points about Calerihysene ( Caleb/Valerius/Rhys/Florence ).

✦ Florence is definitely the most dominated one of the relationship, while Rhys is the most submissive ( of course ). Though, with consent, it's more of a chain of who's dominated by another — Rhys gets dominated the most by Caleb, Caleb by Valerius, and Valerius by Florence, even though she claims all of her boys because she's the Boss Ass Bitch™, so stay fucking down, motherfuckers.

✦ Valerius usually helps cook along with Florence, and volunteers to do the dishes, much to her gratitude, and just help with literally anything domestic related because he's a very domestic guy, to be honest.

✦ Caleb would do the same, but anxiety and depression’s a bitch, so he's been slacking a lot, and Rhys would usually… gently… push him around and get fit and strong, and mmmmm…. Would he be getting those nice rewards if he does as he's told for the sake of his health.

✦ Rhys?? He fucking destroys everything.......

✦ There are times when Florence and Valerius, unfortunately, have their moment together through arguments and disagreements, which both Caleb and Rhys really doesn't like, but according to the zodiac signs, Capricorn and Gemini usually doesn't go well together, despite Valerius being part Aquarius, as well. But as always, Florence and Valerius cools down the heat in the end. Caleb and Rhys is trying to figure out how they could come in agreements, but they are relieved that they would take them maturely and calmly, at least most of the times when they do argue.

✦ Don't mess with these guys, especially Rhys and Caleb, or else, either of Florence or Valerius would literally raise Hell upon you, but heck, them together would be a complete chaos, and you seriously don't want that.

✦ Valerius is lowkey awkward around Florence, tbh,,

✦ Valerius and Florence together would be one of the most chilliest and simple pairings, like, their first date would probably be somewhere at a lovely lake during the evening and have a picnic while they would watch the sunset together.

✦ While there are times Florence has difficulties expressing them, she does truly care about her boys and adores them very much, even if she sometimes wants to throw them to the volcanoes for being overly embarrassing and ridiculous, her life has been too serious and dark, until she met them and immediately made her life less dull and lonely.

✦ Valerius is that guy who always be the first to pay their food orders and shit because he is such a wonderful man, but sometimes that makes Caleb and Rhys lowkey salty,, like,,, fucking chill, we get that you're like the dad of the relationship, but we don't ever remember you signing up to be our sugar daddy, and Florence can still sense the salt coming from them before she softly signs and is somewhat amused.

✦ As Caleb doesn't ever like to sleep by himself, he has a personal schedule of who he sleeps with. Monday and Tuesday, he sleeps with Valerius, Wednesday and Thursday, with Rhys, Friday and Saturday, with Florence, and Sunday is usually when he sleeps with all of them together.

✦ Just Rhys himself is Florence’s biggest soft spots, along with canine-like creatures, because of how shyly adorable he actually is? There are times when he's way out of his control that would make her shake her head at him and facepalm herself, but in the end, there's something different about him, she couldn't ever figure it out, that makes her heart skip a beat and feel more protective of him. You can say it's because Rhys is known to be the “punching bag” of the relationship and gets poked and teased on frequently by Caleb and Valerius, much to her concern and fear of Rhys’ self esteem changing negatively from them.

✦ Just imagine Rhys, Valerius and Caleb have an intense tickle fight at night that led them being a giant, complete mess of exhaustion and Florence comes home from hanging out with few of their friends and sees her boys sleeping together, and they're all lightly snoring, with Rhys on top of most parts of Caleb and Valerius while their legs are tangled together and?? The sight is so pure, and Florence have take a photo of it so she can cherish it forever.

✦ While Caleb’s loyalty is questionable, he's mainly loyal towards those who he's truly personally close to, besides Tobias and Alfred, Valerius, Rhys and Florence is obvious. But... he's probably never going to love anyone else and treat them with his special kindness as much as who's mentioned as equal?? As he may develop many crushes, even be in a love relationship with someone else, he will always end up falling himself back to Valerius, Rhys and Florence as he can never ever let go of them and move on in his life. Especially Rhys, considering he's a mortal with no powers and the chance of him being killed first out of the four are sadly quite high. He would never wish for any of his four lovers to be gone out of his life, and if anyone, he would choose them to be with more than anyone else who he knows and loves, even his own family, he would honestly rather be with them than his family.

✦ Rhys feels depressed and extremely bitter time to time at the thought of him being a mortal while the rest lives on forever, but when Valerius comes up to him, one day, he told him that he wouldn't live as much in the end because he's a star, and every stars dies too, and Caleb doesn't know, really, remember, this fact, before telling Rhys that once he does die, they can both spend the rest of their afterlife, watching the stars, along with following behind Caleb and Florence, together and forever, until they're somehow given another chance to live again, and it made Rhys tears up really badly and eventually, Valerius does the same, because they're just, they're both so broken and distressed that they won't live forever, but as long as they have each other at least, they can be happy, and Rhys wouldn't ever mind waiting for a long time for Valerius to be in the afterlife for him, he would do anything for him because he loves him so much.

✦ So that's why Rhys is extremely clingy towards the guys, just desperate to be with them. But at the same time, he's conflicted to express it when he believes that would drive them away from him in annoyance and discomfort, and he doesn't want to die, knowing that he was born to die alone and his fear becomes true all in the end. Florence, Val and Caleb's heart breaks when they see him slowly breaking down over him being a Mortal and when he's sad, it's like a switch no one else can ever find for themselves and take control over it but Rhys, everyone else gets sad because even for an anxious, little soul, he's trying his absolute to remain optimism and battles against his fears and anxiety for so long, and this fact of him not being able to live in the end, it completely shatters him and becomes hopeless, because no matter what he does or say to them, especially to make them feel proud of him, he's not going to stay with them for long, and even if he would eventually have Valerius... Simple to say. some things would never feel the same.

✦ He was pulled into a big hug from the three, all at once, he's choking back in tears while he had their shirts badly stained with them and his snots. He's trying so hard not to cry, but they encourages him to as they says it's healthy to cry and he shouldn't ever bottles up his emotions, leading to Rhys tightly gripping on to him and starts sobbing loudly, through unpleasant coughs and shaky voice, he cries over how much he wants to be with them before he would be gone, but he's too afraid he would be considered as a clingy, little baby and be pushed away from them.

✦ It's an important fact to know that Rhys, in the past before he meets Caleb and Valerius for the first time, feels often alone, even if he have his friends and family to spend times with, he couldn't somehow get this genuine feeling of happiness and comfort around them, unlike Caleb and Valerius who have clearly shown how much they love him through so many ways, even how many times they would risk themselves to save his life, it's unbelievable. Though he's apart of their relationship along with Florence now, he still somewhat feels isolated from others, not as severe as before, but regardless, this heavy weight in his heart reminds him that it's possible for him to be abandoned.

✦ Starting after when he told the three, mainly Florence and Caleb, since Val knew about it at that night, Rhys always gets reminded by the three that he can spend times with them as much as he want and promises him they won't ever be annoyed at his precense, and every time he goes up to one, two or all of them, he's always greeted with showers of compliments and kisses, few times a little series of tickle on his sides, and it always hits him because... he never feels so loved in his entire life and?? He does try to hide his tears though, but them knowing him, they only gently says to him that it's okay, and eventually, he did with a big, most genuine smile on his face.

✦ Even with the angst, their relationship is actually super duper positive and full of love and support and?? I fucking love it so damn much??