#op u really thought of Everything

[drowthelynes]

@writebecauseyoucannotbreathe's magnificently hilarious post inspired this comic :3

toph learns a valuable lesson about grifting, only one (1) soap was harmed

[swordheld]

i have been scrolling through ur page and noticed that u tend to put long, thoughtful tags underneath nearly every post u reblog & i just thought that was very endearing since the general trend is short and concise. im not sure why i felt the need to write u and let u know, but i just felt very compelled to. pls never stop being u.

this is so very sweet of you!! it's an old habit that i have held onto for the longest time, mostly due to the fact of tags being excellent for organization (my beloved) but also as a kind of extra space for whatever else you'd like to include without actually including it in the post when others share it for themselves! it's that perfect mixture of private n public.

for this blog specifically it's something that i enjoy since it's really an exercise or activity in enjoyment / enrichment? i like to think about why i was so inclined to reblog it, to pin it up to this lil space on the interwebs that's all my own. whether that's the colors, or the wording of things, or just what it makes me think about or feel, it's just a really lovely way of considering it all a little deeper!

which is not something that comes easy, or at minimal energy, sometimes! my likes are extensive (i keep attempting to clean them out and bring back my queueing system but we are up to 5k and i am very tired at the moment, lol) for that reason, and it's like a small goal to try to chip away at them over time, to see what treasure i can discover today.

alternatively, it's also a really nice near - time capsule of a thing; to be able to comb through my archive and see what has changed in my outlook, what sticks out to me now versus then, is really fascinating to see how far i've come and what's changed. there's something so lovely about time being instilled so deeply into this lil mini game of online scrapbooking that i adore; so i'm peached n overjoyed that you find some joy in it as well!!

this is all to say: thank you sm and i hope you try it out for yourself if it's something you think you might have fun with! let me know how it goes :)

[watsername]

this post was supposed to be a lighthearted post about aspec people by highlighting them in a joking way that still instills positivity and pride in the identity .

unfortunately too many people are too chronically online and media illiterate to realise that so let’s break down the post.

‘shout out to the people not having gay sex this pride month’

this was intentionally a worded to counter the ‘have lots of gay sex this pride month’ jokes and positivity that surround pride discussions. The wording directly associates with anti-queer activity and their frequent attempt to divert attention from queer people during the month of pride. it is worded intentionally. it is supposed to seem counter active to pride .

the humour is then seeing a pride flag. specifically the asexual flag- in which case this stands for an umbrella term across the aspec community which is more recognisable than the variety of aspec flags that i had seen whilst looking for a flag for this post . the grey line of the asexual flag stands for the spectrum between allosexual and asexual it represents the degrees of asexuality and in so, with the purple, stood for the aspec community in this post.

if the joke is still lost on you, the idea was to read a statement that counters the idea of queer pride and find it recontextualised to humorously represent an identity associated with the lack of sexual attraction; ergo no gay sex .

what this post is NOT, is a comment on varied asexual attraction. it us not a commentary on what makes a valid asexual person or whether or not you specifically will have sexual inter course this pride month . it is not saying asexuals are not allowed to have sex . this post is pushing any stereotype of asexuality . op is a sex having aspec person. i am demisexual . i have been with my partner for almost 2 years and engage in sexual activity .

what this post IS, is a joke. it’s a fucking joke i cant make it any clearer. not every single joke is going to relate to your own experiences and that’s ok. not every post about asexuality is going to relate to your own experiences that’s ok. you need to stop taking things at face value and actually engage in some media literacy to understand when something is a reductionist and stereotyping commentary which is inherently negative and when something uses a reductionist approach to convey humour because a lot of you really seem to be struggling with that one.

i fear a lot of you take yourselves too seriously and can’t find the humour in simple tumblr shitposts to the point where i’m having to actually explain what i thought was a very easy concept to grasp because it has upset a lot of people . stop taking everything so seriously .

if you are offended by the original post that is actually a you problem. that is something you have to work on where you cannot accept any form of lighthearted media that does not directly align with your own experiences . bc it’s not serious . it’s a joke x

also allo people can fuck off bc this is literally a post celebrating aspec ppl idc if your gf lives across the country or if you’re just a single loser this literally has nothing to do w u

yall make me want to kms for making me do this

[captainsjack]

@whocanbelieveit god these tags! because you’re so right, and that’s kinda the point isn’t it?

the doctor runs because jack can’t die. he blames it on the fact that jack has a sense of wrongness about him, a wrongness because he’s a fixed point in time, and maybe there’s some truth to that. but i think it’s only a small fraction of what the doctor is grappling with when it comes to jacks immortality.

he runs because jack can’t die. and that terrifies him. jack seems wrong yes, but that’s not terrifying. what’s terrifying is the fact that the doctor can’t lose him because jack can’t die. jack cannot leave the doctor unless of his own free will. and that’s what terrifies him. everyone the doctor loves leaves him in the end and almost always it was not their choice. that’s the fate of the immortal. as he’s said, “immortality is not living forever. that’s not what it feels like. it’s everybody else dying.” and he has had to live with that, to grapple with that, for hundreds of years. it’s the reason he pushes people away. he puts on a mask and doesn’t let himself get too close to others because in the end, he will watch those he loves die. and when he does eventually fall for someone, there’s still a sense of distance to it. he may love them but he will never let himself say it. he loved rose, but it was never explicit they were in a relationship, couldn’t even tell her he loved her. he loved clara, but had to remind himself he wasn’t her boyfriend. she loved yaz, but told her she doesn’t - cannot - date. because she doesn’t allow herself to. because she knows how it will end. that’s this underlying theme with the doctor and those he loves - he will always no matter what, outlive them. and so he creates this distance.

and then, all of the sudden, the doctor is faced with the opposite. of someone he loves, and who loves him, not dying. never being able to die. he loves jack. whether you think it’s as a friend or believe it’s something more, the doctor loves jack. and jack loves the doctor - both as a friend and as something more. he’s in love with him. that has always been explicit to both viewers and the doctor himself. jack never tries to hide his feelings for the doctor - he constantly flirts with him regardless of whether or not he believes the doctor will flirt back. hell, he fucking kisses him. i believe the doctor well knows jack loves him, and that jack knows the doctor knows he loves him. that has always been an unspoken part of their friendship. and yet the doctor never made anything of it, because why should he? what’s the point of telling someone you love them back if they’re just going to die? what’s the point of starting a relationship you know will end in heartbreak? and so he doesn’t. he pretends it doesn’t exist - both his own feelings and jacks. just like with everyone else.

and then boom. jack becomes immortal. he dies, rose/bad wolf revives him, and now the doctor is faced with the fact that jack can’t ever die. and so he runs. he leaves jack and runs. and he keeps on running. because if jack really is immortal, then the doctor can finally have the one thing he’s always wanted. happiness. someone who loves him, who he loves, a friend, a lover, a companion, forever. he won’t ever have to be alone ever again. and that, that, is fucking terrifying. and so he runs. he ditches jack. he ditches the one thing, the one person, who may finally begin to give him peace.

and when confronted about it? well, you know the doctor. he’s not going to be emotionally honest about it. and so he tells jack that he’s wrong. he’s unnatural. and he doesn’t want him around. so yeah, he left. what about it? he doesn’t care. jacks a friend, yeah, but leaving him means nothing. meant nothing. so, too bad jack, you’re immortal, you’re wrong, i don’t want you. except, of course, he’s lying. he gives jack a fraction of the truth. because i do believe there is a sense of wrongness about jacks immortality, but it’s not something the doctor would leave him for. jack is, in tens words, “one of the best friends [he’s] ever had.” a sense of wrongness won’t diminish that. and so the doctor lies to jack, and maybe even to an extent, himself. he blames everything he feels towards jack, everything pulling and tugging at him when confronted with jacks immortality, on the fact that jack’s unnatural.

but in reality? under all that righteousness and ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ sense of time, of ‘i know better than you’ and ‘you’re not supposed to be here,’ is a man. a terrified, lonely man who just wants someone. who just wants to be happy. who wants to live a life with someone he loves and who loves him. but who doesn’t think he deserves it. why should a man, who, in his own beliefs, has caused so much pain and destruction to others, deserve to be happy himself? and i don’t think i’ll get into this too much (sorry op for already writing an essay on your post), but i do believe that this is one of the main characteristics of the doctor. that he’s someone who has carried so much pain around for so long, someone who fights through hell to bring happiness and peace to everyone else in the universe, but who doesn’t believe that he deserves those same things himself. and that’s one of the main reasons why he leaves jack.

i do agree with what others on the post were saying about the doctor realizing how similar he and jack are being one of the reasons he pushes jack away. i do think that’s part of it. but idk. to me this is the main thing. the main reason the doctor runs from jack. i think it’s a lot of things, but the doctor being scared of the possibility of finding happiness with jack… idk i think it’s the part that terrifies him the most.

and, lastly, if somehow the doctor was able to confront all of this, to accept it and work though it, if he was able to see happiness as something everyone deserves rather than something he has to earn, then there’s still the fact that even though jack can’t die on him, jack can still leave. and i think the doctor realizes this. while arguing with the part of himself that’s trying to convince him that he does deserve happiness, that he does deserve a life with someone he loves, the part that’s saying no, you don’t, is reminding him that while jack cannot die, he can (and will eventually) leave the doctor of his own free will. the doctor will eventually fuck up or jack will grow tired of him or fall out of love, and inevitably leave him. why shouldn’t he? everyone else does. human relationships - mortal relationships - for the most part, end in heartbreak. they never last. and so, how could two immortals think they could beat those odds? they could have eternity together. and most people would think that’s a blessing. but the doctor sees it as a downfall. because that means he has eternity to make mistake after mistake, he has eternity to grow old and boring in jack’s eyes, he has eternity to wait until inevitable heartbreak.

and so this part of him wins. and he leaves jack. because nothing is worse than knowing you don’t deserve happiness and that if you did, it wouldn’t last.

im sorry but the conversation between ten and jack through the door of that radiation room in ‘utopia’ is one of my favorite tenth doctor moments in the entire show

ten is a dick to jack several times in that episode but the unsettling openness of that conversation isn’t really something we see ten show with other characters? that conversation got real???

jack listing all the ways he’s died, ten giving him that sarcastic smile, jack feeling angry at being left without explanation, ten not expressing any kind of remorse, jack teasingly calling him prejudiced, ten laughing, them talking about rose (the first time ten rly talks about rose to someone who knew and loved her), ten actually accepting jack’s “I’m sorry that she’s gone” without deflecting

and then we have ten very bluntly asking “do you want to die?” and jack trying to avoid the question but ten insisting!! like that’s such an intense question to force someone to answer but it’s one immortal to another and he really wants to know.

it’s such a dark conversation but it really feels like one of the only times the tenth doctor speaks to a companion without trying to hide anything. and by the end of it they’re almost flirting? and after it’s over it’s like they’ve both relaxed around each other a little, like some of that tension has gone

[orcelito]

Hilarious thing. I'm so far gone on my fictional crush on Dohalim that I'm even talking about it with everyone at work. Them grateful I'm talking about smth other than Akechi, but turns out I am JUST as insufferable about it lmfao

[ham1lton]

oo for the lovesick!lando mini smau prompts what about him commenting wedding vows or something sexual on just about every post that contains yn even if its not something he posted , like hamlintomshaderoom posts yn crossing the street and hes practically proposing in comments

author’s note: hi!! so this is in the toxic!y/n and lovesick!lando universe so this is my warning that it isn’t a healthy relationship. this is an au and if toxic fictional relationships are not for you, please don’t read! this is a joke au <3

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :��ﾟ. ──────

liked by landonorris, land0.mov, lando.jpg and 1,928,091 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: musician yn yln seen in the streets of manhattan as she does some shopping in the city. she was surrounded by fans before being escorted away to safety by security. this is her first appearance since the release of her controversial self-titled hit album. thoughts?

view all 287,928 comments

user1: HERE BEFORE LANDO 😁

landonorris: LOVE IT

landonorris: GORGEOUS

landonorris: SHOW STOPPING

landonorris: SALIVATING !!! ONLY SHE CAN DO THAT

landonorris: SHE’S SOOOOOOO 😻😻😻😻😻

landonorris: WEDDING NOW!!!! 💍

-> ham1ltonshaderoom: stop camping out in our comments. we will block you.

user2: the way he literally is obsessed with yn

-> user3: like bro MOVE!!!! we’re obsessed with yn too 😭

-> user4: it’d be cute if it wasn’t cringe

user5: lando norris please can you not text her this

-> landonorris: she blocked me

-> landonorris: temporary setback

-> landonorris: still together!!!

-> user6: need to be as delusional as you. need to get on whatever you’re on rn 😭😭

user7: lando still being whipped after the release of P4THETIC! is insane!!!!!!

-> user8: like she wrote a number one song about how much of a loser you are and you’re still simping 😭 need her badly. i just know she’d change my life.

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

Original Post:

r/AmItheAsshole

Posted by u/p4throwaway1234

AITA for not breaking up with my girlfriend after she wrote a song about how pathetic I am?

okay so, throwaway because this is kind of embarrassing. my (24M) girlfriend (23F) is a singer-songwriter, and recently she released a song. it’s super catchy and doing really well, but it’s… definitely about me. she doesn’t say my name, but the lyrics are about how she’s dating this “pathetic, lovesick fool” who “worships the ground she walks on” and “thinks he’s a prince when he’s really just a jester.”

here’s the thing: i honestly didn’t care 🤷. i know i’m kind of obsessed with her, and yeah, i get clingy sometimes. it’s a joke between us, and i thought that was her way of being playful. i even posted the song on my socials when it dropped because i was proud of her.

but my friends are all saying it’s humiliating and disrespectful, and i should break up with her. now she’s upset because she found out they’ve been telling me this, and she blocked me on everything. i just want to know if i’m the asshole for not immediately dumping her like my friends think i should.

Top Comments:

[deleted]:

“A lovesick fool who worships the ground she walks on”? Bro, she doesn’t respect you. YTA for staying with someone who thinks you’re pathetic.

u/relationshipguru420:

bro, read your own post. she wrote a whole song about YOU being PATHETIC. and you’re still simping? get a grip.

u/toomuchdrama69:

INFO: Is she still blocked? Because if she wrote a whole diss track about you and blocked you, I think the relationship is over.

u/throwawaydetective:

Wait… is this about who I think it is? If it is, there’s no way this guy doesn’t know.

u/relationshipwreckage:

Dude, she literally called you a jester. It’s giving clown.

u/sadboiforlife:

yta. if my gf wrote a song like that and then got mad when ppl told me to leave her, i’d be out. respect yourself, my guy.

u/wedoresearch:

sounds like she’s making money off your humiliation. yta for staying in a toxic relationship.

OP’s Update:

(two days later)

u/p4throwaway1234

UPDATE: we talked it out and we’re back together. 😊

so after all the drama, we talked and sorted things out. she said she didn’t mean to hurt me with the song—it’s just her way of expressing herself. and honestly? i get it. i love her creativity, even if it’s at my expense sometimes. i told her i’m not listening to my friends anymore, and we’re stronger than ever now. thanks for the advice, everyone! 😁

Comments on the Update:

u/relationshipwreckage:

WHAT?

u/toomuchdrama69:

bro.

u/wedoresearch:

this has to be satire.

u/sadboiforlife:

you have got to be kidding me.

OP’s Replies:

u/p4throwaway1234:

nah, we’re solid. it was all a misunderstanding. she didn’t mean it in a bad way, and we laughed about it.

u/sadboiforlife:

she BLOCKED you.

u/p4throwaway1234:

yeah, but it was just temporary. we’re good now. everyone fights sometimes!!

u/relationshipwreckage:

she made a song calling you pathetic and somehow that’s okay?

u/p4throwaway1234:

it’s art. she’s passionate. i’m her muse.

u/yikesmcgee:

😭 i can’t. you deserve better, king.

u/throwaway1234:

yes and she’s the best. ❤️

u/toomuchdrama69:

no, bro, you’re delusional.

u/p4throwaway1234:

nah, just in love. 💕

u/wedoresearch:

can’t wait for the next song called ST1LL P4THETIC.

u/p4throwaway1234:

and i’d stream it.

u/relationshipwreckage:

you can’t save him.

u/sadboiforlife:

fr. he’s too far gone.

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

[6okuto]

KENMA RELATIONSHIP HCS

gn!reader, timeskip mentions

isn't a pda guy, but will fall asleep on your shoulder/rest against you as he games, and if you play with his hair, who's he to say no?

if you change your contact name in his phone, he keeps whatever it is, even if it's super silly or cheesy. like okay call "my honeybear darling angel 😚". he says it's because he's lazy but he does find it kinda cute/amusing

you cheer for kenma at practice in like, a sort of exaggerated way, like "gooo kenma!!! yeaahh!! let's go kenma!! kenma! kenma!" and he tries really hard not to look at you—not because he's annoyed, but because he doesn't want you to notice how red his face has gotten. his teammates point it out anyway

lol his team using you as motivation. "don't you want to impress them?" and kenma's like 😒😒 but gets up from the floor

kenma teaching you how to play his favourite (co-op) video games!! he's pretty patient and explains things well, so if you don't have a lot of gaming experience, don't worry too much ^^ buttt if you're competitive, get ready to Compete. he seems like someone who doesn't take it too seriously unless you start (jokingly) shit talking him

he'll try out any games you like too, even if it isn't something he'd pick himself. he doesn't really plan to when you're describing it, but then he thinks about it, or sees a post mentioning it, and the curiosity (And Affection 4 U :3) gets him

easily notices if you've gotten quieter/tired when you're out. if you're with a group, he'll tap your shoulder and offer his own, ask if you're alright, and or make up an excuse so you can both leave. if it's just the two of you, he's quick to find a place to rest for a while

he'll never make you join if you don't want to, but fans eat up any videos or streams with you—they make edits and compilations of you walking in during streams and everything. the amount of begging for a q&a and story time of how you met is crazydsjdhsj

chat is soo annoying about it too /lh "no they're not single," "i know they're out of my league," "yes they were my first subscriber," kenma telling you not to answer them when they ask if he's clingy, etc etc

! i think it'd be cute if you guys had matching phone cases, but his fans didn't know until you showed up with the other one. and they realize Just how much he has on that's matching you—the bracelet and necklace that they catch glimpses of under his hoodie, the hoodie itself from the same line as yours... yeah.

time for "he said no pickles." unless you also don't like asking/don't care,, then you guys can just take the pickles off together <3

^ if it's a serious mistake they made with your food, kenma's a lot more compelled to approach the counter.

would teach you about stocks. if you asked

mutual info dumping and yapping... he's very aware of how much he's telling you the first couple of times, but gets more comfortable when you do it back !

^ kind of guy to do his own research afterward. he makes a semi-obscure reference/joke the day after and you're like ???? Who told you that.

kind of boyfriend who hears you go "i want him" "wait why's this character kinda..." and isn't like, that offended or put off by it. says "understandable" (or questions your taste), but knows they're a character at the end of the day

quality time kind of guy. people know you're special even if they don't know you're dating because you can convince kenma to go to events or try something new when they wouldn't expect it. (obviously it's never something crazy out of his comfort zone, and it's probably because he knows you'd feel better with someone with you, but he's going all the same!!)

kenma isn't the best with receiving words of affirmation or gifts... he appreciates it, but gets awkward and doesn't know how to react ^^; you reassure him that he doesn't have to jump for joy or be super affectionate back—he shows his love in his own ways !

his gifts are very thoughtful. he gets you something practical, and then things that you've really wanted for a while. his cards aren't filled with long letters of adoration, but they're genuine and very much kenma. (+ having money in the timeskip doesn't mean he'd ever buy something expensive or flashy just because it might be 'easier.' it means he gets to buy you way more merchandise for your favourite media, paying the shipping fees that kept you away.)

you get him a super thoughtful (and maybe expensive) gift and he Lights Up. and then he's like ? you remembered / really paid that much ? really ? and he keeps smiling when he looks at it..

kenma coming downstairs with super bad bedhead and pouting when you snicker. but then he relaxes as you comb your fingers through to fix it

tying up his hair... a little ponytail or bun...

matching pajamas... or those fluffy headbands you wear to wash your face... he looks so silly and cute

university student kenma who walks in visibly irritated, and you know you're about to shit talk his group members or professor together.

late night breakfast. sitting in the kitchen eating bowls of cereal past midnight

! late night gaming sessions... and or sometimes you fall asleep waiting for kenma to finish, then wake up to realize he fell asleep at his desk. you have to coax him into bed after saving the game for him

very nervous during the first year you're together any time there's a holiday, especially valentine's day or your anniversary. he wonders if his plans and gifts are enough, not romantic enough, too boring, if you'd rather do something exciting, even if logically he knows you'll like anything he thinks up

sometimes you guys will just lie on the floor, stare at the ceiling together, and talk. maybe there's music, a game menu screen playing in the background, or you're just listening to the birds and neighbours outside. floor time is healing all the same

bleaching kenma's hair + him helping dye yours... timeskip where chat asks if you've done your hair recently because his hands have been stained :')

it's super easy to team up with kuroo to tease him but also ! teaming up to taunt and prank kuroo !! think of kenma laughing bright and loudly, eyes squinting and arms clutching his middle !! kuroo can't be that mad because he's happy someone else can get kenma this happy too

🏷️ | @icekitgeorge3 @dira333 (hey guys) @pelicanpizza @godoffuckedupcats @causenessus @priv-rose @ur-local-simp @respitable @deepenthevoid

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Nik turns 50. TF 141 throw him a surprise party. (As the author continues to build their voices and headcanons in his head.)

cw: none.

“I can't believe Nik’s going to be fifty next week. The man's aging like a fine wine. It must be something in the water over there.”

It had been a fairly innocuous comment by Laswell over one of their frequent phone calls, but it had sent Price into an unfathomable tailspin.

Fifty.

Fifty was a big birthday where Price came from. The kind where the extended family, and wider community around them, were invited to a village hall for an old fashioned knees up, and you ended up carrying your uncle Rodney home so your aunt didn't smother him with a throw pillow after he pissed all over the doorstep.

Price had never really thought much about the families and wider lives of his contacts. They got the job done and then they parted ways. In every sense, a contact held the same position in Price's mind as the weapon in his hand; a tool to be used and then set aside once you were done.

But Nik… Nik was becoming more than a contact. A lot more. Price knew there was no uncle Rodney for Nik. There was no family whatsoever. No one special to mark half a century with, except maybe… fuck.

Price didn't share scotch with just anyone, let alone pass his cigar over for them to take a toke. As much as he respected Laswell, he was never inclined to spend hours with her chattin’ shit, until the sun broke through the blinds and they both had to slam some black coffee so they looked remotely presentable for their operators. His hand never lingered on anyone else's carrier vest, and no one else's voice made warmth and light curl in his chest.

No one else slotted against Price's... everything quite like Nikolai.

Price wasn't stupid. He knew what these signs meant, but that didn't mean he had any idea what the fuck to do about them. It was safer to just… be, too cowardly to progress any further. And yet, this felt like a milestone somehow.

“Captain, are you there? John?”

“Rog, yeah… uh. Continue.”

By the time Price had hung up, he had resolved to do something to mark Nik’s birthday. Laswell had coughed up the exact date and then slyly asked why Price was so interested. Her tone suggested she already had a hunch. “141 tradition,” he'd said, before hanging up. Rude, but she'd cope.

He finished some paperwork and turned in for the night, but sleep didn't come easy. His plans played out across the dark ceiling above his head and each time he settled on a course of action, he picked a hundred holes in it and cast it aside.

“Buy him a bottle of vodka and put a bow on your prick,” Simon said over eggs and bacon. The majority of the base was still asleep, with only a few other troopers skulking around the canteen.

Price choked on his gulp of tea and thumped his chest. “Classy, Simon.”

“You’ve been dancin’ round each other for years,” Simon murmured, rubbing at the stubble below the line of his mask. “Best time as any to pull the trigger.”

“Pot. Kettle. Black,” Price said as he stabbed at the bacon on his plate to emphasise each word.

“Fuck off,” Simon grumbled, “sir.”

Price snorted a laugh and they finished the rest of their breakfast in companionable silence. After a session in the gym, a myriad of brain-numbing meetings and supervising some training runs, Price was no closer to shaking out of his decision paralysis. If they were on mission he could have hashed out a plan without taking a breath, but he… didn't want to fuck this up. It felt too important.

Price was left with no choice but to consult professionals.

“Surprise party,” Soap said gleefully, chucking his playing cards onto the coffee table. “In th’ hanger, we invite him over tae ‘discuss an op’,” Soap lifted his fingers to emphasise the spoken quotation marks, “get Laswell tae send the invite.”

Gaz nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, then he won't suspect anything - oh, oh, I've got Farah's number, we can get her in on it. She’ll know if he’ll want anyone else, and… uh, you know, we’ll get clearance.”

“Right,” Price leaned back, arms folded over his chest. “So, what… we need food, and cake.”

“Aye, sir,” Soap said, squinting. “And booze. Gaz an’ I'll sort the logistics, and ye jus’ need tae sort the pressie.”

“We’re on it, sir. Leave it to us.”

The present. Price could do that. No worries.

Two days later, he stared down at the forty item long Amazon wishlist he had titled “Operation Black Hawk” and had no idea what to get. Something that walked the line of funny but sentimental, that said ‘you’re hot as fuck but I'm not desperate but I absolutely wank over you in the shower’.

“Fuckin Christ,” Price whispered at this office ceiling, slouched deep in his chair. He closed his eyes and forced his mind to quiet but for thoughts of Nik. Think, think.

So many conversations, ice tinkling against glass, low chuckles and borish jokes; a warm palm on Price’s shoulder and a smile so toothy it was contagious. Endless memories of time at Nik’s side. There had been that summer Nik had come fishing with him. Just a few days of peace before they both returned to the field. Nik had snoozed through most of it, exhausted by their previous mission, but in between he had surveyed the lake, watching the insects flit across the water.

“Poprygun'ya strekoza, leto krasnoye propela,” Nikolai had murmured.

“Cursing my ancestors?” Price had asked before gulping down a mouthful of beer.

Nik had chuckled. “Nyet, captain. It means a playful prankish Dragonfly, the whole summer have sung out. It is a poem by Ivan Karylov. One of my favourites.”

“Yeah? What's it about?”

“It is a fable...”

“Oh bloody hell, not another Russian morality lesson.”

“Pssh, this is good one. You will like it,” Nik had sat up in his camping chair. “It is about a beautiful dragonfly who spends her summer dancing and resting, while the hardworking ant prepares. When winter comes, she begs the ant for help, but he refuses, because he worked hard and she did not.”

“Harsh but fair. Work hard, play hard, them’s the rules..”

“You see, I knew you would like it. You are an ant. You earn your rest. This,” Nik had gestured at fishing tackle, the camping equipment, and the lake, “is the fruit of your labour, and I am privileged to share it with you, my friend.”

“And I you, mate.”

They had knocked their bottles together and moments later one of Price’s reels had begun spinning out. By that point they'd drunk so much that landing the damn carp had left them both up to their knees in lake water, pissing themselves laughing on the bank. It had been both the worst and best fishing expedition of Price’s life.

Price opened his eyes in the present and grinned at the ceiling, digging his phone out of his pocket. He knew exactly what he was going to get Nik.

The rest of the week sprinted by quicker than a RAF pilot on his way to a champagne dinner, and before he knew it Price was standing on a rickety plastic chair hanging a bloody banner from a rusty nail high on the hanger wall.

“It's wonky, cap,” Gaz said just as Price was climbing down.

“I think you'll find your eyes are wonky, sergeant.”

“Of course, sir. I'll get that sorted.”

Price pressed his hands to the small of his back and glanced around at the preparations. The sergeants had done well. Soap had even managed to draft Simon in on the booze run and there was a healthy selection of spirits on the buffet table by the birthday cake. It was a Colin Caterpillar from Marks and Spencers, one of Nik's favourite shops to visit when he was in the UK, with a joke candle stuck in the top that he wouldn't be able to blow out. Soap's idea.

The majority of Chimera had turned up to mark the occasion, as had a few faces Price recognised from previous ops with other organisations and task forces. Soap had said a few didn't quite pass the bar for security clearance, which wasn't surprising.

It was just as Gaz and Soap were bickering over the playlist that they heard the telltale drum of helicopter blades beat overhead. “Places, places!” Soap crowed from the hanger door, slamming the lights off. Booted feet scuttled across the dusty floor to find hiding places behind the vehicles and crates stacked around the edges, and Price joined Soap by the door.

Several minutes passed, and then… “And you have no idea where the weapons store is?”

“None at all, Nik. Price should have more intel,” Laswell replied. She had rendezvoused with Nik in Germany as part of the plan. Her wife was currently squatting behind a crate with Gaz.

“I hope so or this will be a difficult mission.”

Soap was practically vibrating at Price's shoulder as Nik rounded the corner. He slammed on the lights and everyone erupted from their hiding places on cue. Price didn't miss how Nik’s hand dropped for his sidearm, his eyes blown wide.

“Laswell, what is–?”

“Happy birthday, Nikolai,” she said, walking by to plant a kiss on her wife's cheek.

“I–” Nik glanced around the hanger as he accepted hugs from Gaz and Syd, handshakes from others, still bewildered. “How–?”

“It was th’ captain's idea,” Soap said, jutting his chin at Price. “He told us ye were hittin’ the big five-oh, old man. Ye not gettin’ off that easy.”

“Here, drink,” Simon grunted, pressing a glass into Nik's hand. “I'm startin’ the food, Johnny. I've been patient.”

“Aye, L.T. Bust open th’ sarnies. Farah, th’ ones on the left are halal - aye, bet.”

Nik was drawn into conversation briefly and Price hung back, glancing at the badly wrapped parcel he'd stashed on top of an empty oil container. He was so focused on his internal misgivings that Nik’s hand on his elbow made him startle. “Oi, give me a bloody heart attack…”

“You did this?”

“MacTavish and Garrick did this,” Price said.

Nik, who knew that the 141 did nothing without Price's express permission, grinned toothily. They stood in silence as he surveyed the many faces scattered around the hanger, some shoving sandwiches in their faces while others swigged from freshly open bottles. “I… have never had a birthday party before.”

“What? Not even as a kid?”

Nik shrugged one shoulder. “Nyet, it was not a… priority.” He looked back at Price, dark eyes heavy with something complex and unreadable. “Thank you.”

Price swallowed and tried to ignore the heat creeping up his neck. “You're uh… you're welcome, I… got you something. But, uh…” Before he could wuss out, Price grabbed the poorly wrapped parcel and shoved it into Nik's hands. “Happy birthday.”

Nik set his glass aside. “Your wrapping skills are…”

“Bloody fantastic.”

“...unique.”

“I'll take it.”

Nik huffed a laugh as he tore the brown paper away and flipped the book over in his hands. Price was relieved to see his face brighten. “Aesop’s fables. Captain, this is beautiful…”

To be fair, it was a damn pretty book. The hardcover was illustrated with the animals from the fables, the pages edged in gold, and the inside cover was patterned. You know… posh. And then Nik found the second part, tucked about a quarter of the way through. It was a photograph from their fishing expedition. A rough selfie, with half a fish head in shot where Nik was trying to display their catch, and Price’s face smeared with mud from where he had stumbled onto the bank.

Nik's eyes lingered on it, his fingertips brushing over their grinning faces, and he swallowed.

Price panicked. “I'm sorry, it's shit, I'll uhm–”

Nik pulled him into an embrace that crushed the air from his lungs. There was definitely a stutter in Nik’s chest, and Price wrapped his arms around him in return. If he happened to turn his nose into Nik's neck, and Nik happened to press his face a little closer, then that was fine. More than fine.

Price's toes curled in his boots, his fingers tightened in Nik’s shirt, the aching in his chest becoming that much harder to ignore. “You alright?”

“Da,” Nik said tightly. “I just need a minute.”

“Take all the time you need,” Price murmured, closing his eyes as he cradled Nik against him. He didn't mark the time, happy to revel in the warmth of the solid body in his arms, and the smell of Nik's skin, pressed so close Price could feel the thrum of his heartbeat.

When Nik finally pulled away, slightly reddened eyes lingered on Price’s lips before turning to the rest of the party, who were doing a shitty job of pretending they hadn't all been watching. “Later, I would… like to spend some time with you.”

Price didn't want to examine the heat under his skin too closely, lest it be entirely misplaced. “Course.”

“Nik, get over ‘ere tae blow th’ oot before Ghostie eats yer cake’s face!”

Nik tucked his book under his arm and walked over to the buffet table with Price to a horrifically off-key rendition of ‘happy birthday’. Once Nik had worked the candles out, flicking them at Soap with a loud Russian cuss, festivities descended, as they usually did on base, into raucous drinking games and whatever the sergeants decided passed for dancing. Simon lost the Ring of Fire and had to down the filthiest pint Price had ever seen in his life, Laswell thrashed them all at beer pong and Gaz tried to teach Farah how to do the worm. As far as fiftieth birthday parties went, it definitely beat out the village hall knees up.

Later, when the majority of the party had slunk off to dark corners, fallen asleep where they sat or retired in good order, Nik pulled his captain back into his arms and kept him there until the sun rose. Except, this time, they did a damn sight more than talk.

[daydreamingyuta]

do u know the old viral tweet that goes something like the op went on a date with a guy and when they kissed the guy’s watch suddenly beeped loudly due to his heart rate?

can i request a drabble because that one is sooo mark coded lmao😭🫶🏻

Heartbeat | Mark Lee

wc: drabble, 385 a/n: omg yes I remember that tweet, I literally thought it was the cutest thing everr and you're so right, it’s so mark coded!! I hope you enjoy <3

“Is this ok?” Mark asks you with soft eyes, intertwining his fingers with yours. You smile at him and nod, a soft ‘Yes’ escapes your lips.

Mark shifts his gaze onto the sidewalk ahead of him, trying so hard to hide his smile but failing miserably. You see his sweet smile out the corner of your eye, and your heart skips a beat. You’ve never been on a first date like this, where everything just feels so right and so easy. You honestly never want the date to end, which is why you found yourselves walking around enjoying each other's company way after the date should have already ended. 

You feel Mark's eyes focus back onto you, “What?” You ask shyly. 

“Nothing I just-“ His voice cracks a little bit and you can tell he’s nervous. You’re making him nervous. “I know I already like said this before, but you’re just so beautiful.” 

He’s been complimenting you all evening and each and every time it’s made you completely melt. You were going to say some iteration of ‘thank you’ but then you turned to face him, feeling very brave all of a sudden. “…you should kiss me, Mark.”

Your request takes him off guard for a second, “You want me to kiss you?” 

“I mean, if you wanna.” You say looking up at him, watching as he places both hands on your waist, pulling you in close. You melt into the kiss, his lips soft as butter, until you hear a loud beeping noise go off. You both break apart from the kiss and look down at where the noise is coming from, Marks watch. He looks down at it, eyes wide and you catch a glimpse at what the watch face says, ‘abnormal heart rate detected.’ 

“...Is that because of me?” 

Mark nods his head, clearly a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I forgot it does that.” 

“No, don't apologize, I think it’s really cute.” You say, flashing him a smile. 

“Yeah?” His eyes light up again. 

You nod your head at him, “Yeah but next time you kiss me we should be more careful, for your heart's sake. Maybe make sure you're sitting down first?”

He laughs and it's the prettiest noise you’ve ever heard in your whole life, “Yeah, I think that’ll be good.”

[m4rs-ex3]

ALLLL RIGHTY YALL

if u haven't already seen.............. guys i was late i was fucking late for the panel give me a break

BUT here is a play by play of everything from the second i got in

[A GOOD CHUNK OF THE SECRET SCENE] if you saw this post within the first few *hours you got to see but you know what? they got to me i don't wanna be the snitch (i did on accident but its the though that counts)

opeli is being led blindfolded (which we see from opeli's pov. riveting visuals i tell you) by soren to the ✨secret meeting location✨

when she comments on the fact that it is literally just callum's office soren shuts her up bless him

opeli's like "DID BAIT GIVE BIRTH??!?!?" and soren's like no these are "rescue baits" and opeli gives them the greatest fucking look i can't even describe it to you

you've seen that leak "look it's the pearl :D""WHA""yep he's in there :)))))"

rayla says it like "per-al." just thought you should know

soren suggests forming a Fellowship of the Pearl and going to throw it into a volcano i fucking hate this show

they're all debating what to do with it meanwhile the most cryptic-ass shots of callum with the pearl like we get it he's fucked (i take it back i want more)

they finally get to him and he's like "uh????? destroy it obviously?????"

he suggests--and these are 100% his words (not actually cuz u know but its the general idea)--"smash it? throw it off a cliff? take a big ol axe and just--KA CHOP." i love him so much

rayla asks how they know it won't just release him

the way callum is so confused and conflicted and he just says "i... i don't know" oh my god by precious baby

cool ass top-down to the pearl whirlpool esq transtion into the next scene hello??

zym is being emo at a painting of his mother (the one from 4x03 yeah they just stitched that shit up it's all good)

ezran's like. huh. we oughtta do smth abt this

callum is Thinking Thoughts on the turrets(?? yk where soren does his lunges) and tossin the rune cube when he sees the star rune light up......................................

it's stella stella's there and the way he reacts to her is so precious 😭 he's not the step dad he's the dad who stepped up type shit

enter rayla "they told me u would be up here brooding"

(in a tragic turn of events the rayllum of this scene had my brain fuzzy so i can't remember a few chunks here and there have pity my brain has rotten)

callum's like "we have to do something i'm scared he's gonna use me. i know what we need to do ok we need to go to the starscraper"

it's honestly hilarious the way he says "and *WE.* should go" he's like "don't be gettin any ideas now this is an us thing"

and then ohoho "they have something there for you, too" (THAT was an exact quote)

he's like "PLSPLSPLS i've studied star magic i know the spells i know the runes i just need the quasar diamonds!! LET ME FREE UR PARENTS AND RUNAAN PLEAAAASSSSEEEE"

rayla is veryyyyyy opposed she's like "NO i want to help my parents as much as you"--honestly i don't think ANYONE wants to as much as him--"but i don't want my biases to affect that" BIASES?!??!! like that was the word she used i can't stop thinking about it

zym has entered his wolf child era his ass is HOWLING at the moon

soren hears him and goes "aww little guy misses his mom :((( sometimes i wonder where my mom is...." WHAT AWHAT WHAT AWHAT PJARDON SAY IT AGIAN YOU WAHGTS SAY IT AGIAND HUAH HUWH A

ok. yeah callum does not have pajamas BUT I THINK WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES HERE????????????? HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OFFICE

THAT COUCH THING THAT THEY WERE ON WHEN RAYLA CAME BACK IN 4x03???? HES JUST SLEEPING ON IT I CANT MY GUY WHAT R U DOINGGG

in other news

bruv is tossing and turning and then just. ~stops.~ this can only mean good things (i think you know where i'm going with this)

he sits up. hobbles over to the door. there was a really cool transition (can u tell i respect the cinematography) and he's in the cellar holding the pearl.

he wakes up in aaravos' prison and is like "well this looks neat!" until he sees the mirror and screams and wakes up. when he realizes where he is he goes "what have i done" dude you fell asleep?? god he's never sleeping again (<- me when i lie 😈)

the description we got of this next scene did NOT do it justice it was fucking incredible

callum kicks down the fucking door (not actually) screaming for rayla

rayla TUMBLES OUT OF BED ON TO THE FLOOR, pillows in hands and unafraid to use them

"WHOA. HEY HEY ITS OKAY ITS ME! it's just me rayla. it's me. callum" i feel like he was saying the same 5 words for 7 hours it was beautiful

rayla: "callum?? jeez i could have-" *looks at pillows*

callum giggles the cutest fucking giggle and says something along the lines of "yeah, it would've hurt real bad :)"

oh yeah DE-LAYERED PONYTAIL RAYLA CONFIRMEDED??!?!?!?!?!

she sits back on the bed and my guy KNEELS DOWN AT THE CORNER OF THE BED TO PICK UP HER STUFF BEFORE HE SITS DOWN NEXT TO HER and they say chivalry is dead romance was birthed and ended with this scene

he tells her about it and she goes "callum, you're exhausted. you had a nightmare. if i thought you were in any real danger you know i would-" and then ironically i forget the same line that the person from nycc did wouldja look at that

can i just mention how close they were sitting in this scene i mean i jsut thikn i should mention hwo clo

yada yada he has a lightbulb and runs off with her blanket

the iconic "i know stella.. he took our blankie :("

god knows why barius is up in the middle of the night whispering sweet nothings to his jelly tarts

callum comes in with a certain proposition mwuhahaha

rayla comes into his office and sees his aesthetic ass sewing by fireside and graciously says "ah i get it! you're taking your mind off things by peacefully knitting" so iconic for both of them

callum explains that he's stitching runes to create a protection spell when barius comes in with the """"""""pearl""""""""""

rayla DIVES in front of callum and says "what r you doing get that thing AWAY from him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she got SO protective SO fast it was blessed

callum's like au contraire 😈

ok so obviously we had all heard about the fake pearl but. you know that one guy who makes insane sculptures out of nothing but chocolate? that's what they did the pearl is brown sludge with a candy coating 💀 i'm losing my mind that is so funny to me

so yeah with the decoy out the real pearl is protected by--and callum literally said this--"a magic blankie >:)"

he also pops in to tell ez and omg GUYS BAIT HAS HIS OWN LITTLE ROYAL CANOPY BED ITS SO FUCKING CUTE

dawn in the courtyard--ez is saying goodbye to soren, zym, and pyrrah who are going to look for zubeia (i almost just typed zendaya i need sleep) and callum and rayla who r going to the starscraper

my roman empire is this: callum was acting all eepy and then when they get going hE RESTS HIS HEAD ON RAYLA'S BACK AND FALLS ASLEEP. I CANNOT FUCKING MAKE THIS UP IT WAS PHENOMENAL SHE LOOKED SO FUCKING HAPPY I I I I I I HAKJSDHFKJASHFDKJHSADKFHKJASHFIHASEKFH

on a slightly lower note

scene from teaser except they did cut a couple lines in the teaser. mainly just terry going "didn't see you there,, cuz i was asleep. with my eyes closed"

he does not in fact get impaled but claudia tells him she's gonna leave him first and does just that

as she's going omfg terry's cries and pleas and "I LOVE YOU"s and "I WILL WAIT. I WILL WAIT HERE FOR YOU" was absolutely insane idk what was in the air in that recording studio but shout out to ben

i am so tired goodbye!

[snickerdoodlles]

#I think a lot of my dislike of the movie might have been just differences in taste #That movie was NOT my sense of humor and I disliked how they handled some things #Like...it kinda bugged me how they went about Ballister's prosthetic limb I won't lie. #I also don't know if Nimona ''not wanting to be a monster'' yet also wanting to cause so much destruction around her worked for me #Or at least not the way it was done #Like. I'm ALL for a character that wants to hurt others because of the way they've been hurt. That's based. #But that's not...really what they did? Or at least I don't think so #Like she's not REALLY a villain but she did sincerely want Ballister to be. #She values life. But she also wants to murder people? She wants violence??? Idk. It was a weird mix #She's SO sad that child was scared of her but earlier she like. Completely fucks up another kid's game. For no reason. #God and Nimona being 1000 years old makes a lot of her actions kinda weird. She feels so 14 to me yet she's immortal afssf #Also just not that big a fan of the trope where it's revealed ''this ancient legend was actually kids the whole time!!!'' #but I know that's just my tastes #HOWEVER. I also think it made the movie weaker in certain aspects. #Prejudice is learned. So making it feel SO ingrained into the very beings of this world's people #IDK man did not hit it's mark for me #the queer allegory was legitimately very good though. loved that (op's tags)

Nimoma has good emotional payoff and animation but nothing else to really write home about TBH

It's very SPOP in that way, where the arcs and scenes are solid when viewed outside of the media in gifset or clip form but don't work as well when actually watching what they're from

For sure! I think that's a problem she-ra and toh both share with Nimona—they struggle with setup but then go ham on the payoff, which leaves everything feeling somewhat unearned.

The end of the movie bugged me in particular—Ballister's 180 with calling Nimona a monster (something he KNOWS pushes her to the brink) after one conversation with his ex-boyfriend was...I think out of place?

Normally if you have a character make a wrong choice like that you, as the audience, would be questioning the whole movie if they had ever REALLY changed. Was Ballister's loyalty truly to Nimona or to the Institute/Goldenloin? But, by that point in the movie they had really sold me on Ballister's complete acceptance of Nimona and disregard of the institute, so....why would he turn on Nimona then? I'm surprised they didn't do this plot the other way, which would instead have only made it seem like Ballister betrayed Nimona, you know? Like they did in Tangled. That way you don't undo Ballister's movie long arc with one scene, but you can still have Nimona go berserk and make her way into the heart of the city.

There were also a couple of other things that felt kinda dropped by the end. Ballister being the first commoner to become a knight? The Queen's important role in this society? This kingdom's prejudice going SO deep that not even a child would give Nimona a chance after saving their life, yet blowing up the wall changed everyone's minds in the end?

There were a lot of good pieces, but they weren't quite put together in the right ways.

[sen-ya]

part 3/7

i call this one and the next one "i really just wanted to write dialogue and u can tell"

[op comic masterpost]

[pg1] Panel 1: Luffy: ...that's not what I thought you were gonna say

Panel 2: Law: ...And I know exactly what happened. I have a series of effects that I've just kind of run in the background since I was a teenager. Law: And a few months ago I had this cold I couldn't shake and it was making me so tired so I stopped using my powers completely Law: And one of those background effects sharpens my attention to detail to help me remember things well. Law: And I've turned these effects off a thousand times before. Law: Bepo usually reminds me about it. Law: But this time he didn't, and I...forgot to turn them back on. And then before I could notice...

Panel 3: Law: ...and I didn't know what to do so I just thought 'keep your options open' until I could talk to you. Law: So then I stopped everything because I've never read anything about this stuff. I don't even own any books on it. Law: So I haven't had my testosterone or anxiety medication for two weeks and --

Panel 4: Law: --and I don't have a plan, but I always have a plan!! Law: And I hate the idea of something so loudly reminding me that I'm AFAB but I don't know if I hate what the end result would be?? So I've been--

[pg2] Panel 5: Luffy: Wait, two weeks?? Law: --I've been trying to think of what to do Luffy [talking over him]: Why didn't you call?? Law [talking over Luffy]: so that I didn't end up here without a solution Luffy: You don't have to have answers all the time Law [talking over Luffy]: because I know you're not a planner and I've always seen clear paths Luffy: C'mon now Law [talking over Luffy]: but with this all I get is static because I never wanted to be a parent but I was also so sure I'd never be confronted with the possibility! Luffy: It's gonna be okay Law [talking over Luffy]: I was so sure I had it all figured out but I was fucking stupid-- Luffy [talking over Law]: Hey!

Panel 6: Luffy: You're not stupid!! Law: I don't know what to do, Luffy!!

Panel 7: Luffy: That's okay!! Not knowing is okay!! Luffy: You've been thinking too much!! Just feel about it for a second.

[honeyhoneypp]

Hii I Iove ur op hcs!! Could you maybe do a hc on the monster trio reacting to their partner being pregnant out of notice?

A Good Mother

One Piece men with a pregnant girlfriend

What is wrong with your body? You wonder why you have been feeling sick lately, or why you haven't had your period even though it's been 3 months, or why your body has been feeling heavier and your stomach look rounder. You have also been craving food, but at the same time, food makes you feel sick. Could it be possible that..?

Female pronouns! Fluff + some angst on Zoro’s part

==================================

L U F F Y

At first he didn’t really noticed your mood swings or food cravings, he just thought you wanted to be stronger like him! So he didn’t get worried, but he did notice how you started to get sick, which really worried him.

But what got him worried sick was when you suddenly fainted in the middle of a battle, he thought the enemy had hurt you, but Chopper quickly grabbed you and brought you back to the ship.

==================================

Luffy was fighting the captain of a random pirate crew that got in his way, you were fighting one of the pirates but suddenly you started to feel dizzy, your vision became blurry and your legs started to get weak, and suddenly everything went completely black.

Luffy watched as you fell to the ground, thinking that the pirate had hurt you, he quickly stretched out his arm to hit the pirate in the face and easily knocked him out.

Luffy— “____!” — The captain tries to stab Luffy but he was quick to dodge __

Chopper— He quickly picks you up — “I got her, Luffy! Don’t worry”

When you finally wake up you were on bed, Chopper was sitting next to you.

Chopper— “Oh! You’re awake!”

— “Chopper..? W-What happened?”

Chopper— “You fainted in the middle of a battle, ____”

— “I did?”

Chopper— Nod — “Do you have any idea why this can be? Have you been drinking water, sleeping, have you been anxious?”

— “I’ve been hydrating myself and sleeping well, and I’m not anxious…”

Chopper— “I should probably run some blood tests to see if you have low sugar levels..”

— “I… I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”

Chopper— “Hm? Why is that, ____?”

— “I’ve been feeling weird lately”

Chopper— “Tell me more”

—“I’ve been having some weird food cravings, sometimes I just want to eat everything, but other times I can’t even look at food or I feel like I’m going to throw up. And I haven’t had my period for about 3 months now, I think… and also… I’ve been feeling my body a little bit heavier, and I’ve noticed that my stomach has gotten rounder too.”

You stand up and pull your shirt up to show Chopper that indeed your stomach looks rounder than before.

Chopper— “____… when was the last time you had sexual relations?”

— You sit back on the bed — “I think it was exactly 3 months ago… Chopper, you don’t think I’m pregnant right..?”

Chopper— “Well, those are signs of a pregnancy, but if you used protection then it’s probably something else. You used protection right?”

— “No.”

Chopper— He sighs — “You had sexual relations with Luffy, right?”

— “Yeah…”

Chopper— “____, I think you’re pregnant, but I’ll have you do a pregnancy test to be sure”

Chopper quickly went to look for something in his cabinets, then he came back with 3 pregnancy tests and 2 cups, one with water and the other one empty.

Chopper— “Here, drink this” — He hands you the cup of water and you drink it, then he hands you the empty cup and the 3 pregnancy tests — “I need you to urinate in this cup and then put the tip of the pregnancy tests inside the cup and leave it for around 10 seconds. Then bring the tests to me, got it?”

— “Okay…”

You quickly run to the restroom with all the things, you urinate in the cup and put the pregnancy tests inside of it, one at a time and then you wait for the results to appear.

After some minutes you start seeing how 2 lines start to appear on the pregnancy result.

— “Does this mean… that I’m pregnant?”

You throw the cup away and quickly go into Chopper’s office, you hand him the 3 pregnancy tests and he readers each one of them.

Chopper— “____, you are indeed pregnant. And since you had sexual relations 3 months ago, I’ll guess you’re already 3 months pregnant.”

— “I-“

Luffy open the door aggressively, he just came from defeating the whole pirate crew and quickly came to see how you were.

Luffy— “____! Are you okay?!” — He grabs your shoulders —

— “Y-Yes, Luffy. I’m okay”

Chopper— He taps your leg — “Do you want to tell him or should I tell him?”

— “Please tell him…” — You sit back on the bed —

Luffy— “Huh? Tell me what?”

Chopper— “Luffy, these are really important news, don’t freak out”

Luffy— “What do you mean? Just spit it out already”

Chopper— “____ is pregnant.”

Luffy— “Pregnant? You mean she has a baby in her tummy?”

Chopper— “Yes”

Silence filled the room, Luffy just stared at chopper and then at you. You were anxious, you didn’t know how he would take these news.

Luffy— He scratches his neck — “Okay.”

Chopper— “What do you mean ‘okay?!’ Luffy, this is something serious! Having a baby is a big responsibility!”

Luffy— “She’s just carrying a baby in her tummy, what’s the big deal?”

Chopper— “Luffy, are you not listening to yourself?! She’s carrying a baby! That means she won't be able to fight anymore, she'll be vulnerable to any kind of attack for at least 6 months! And after those 6 months you'll have to take care of a human baby that doesn't know how to defend itself!”

Luffy— “Shishishi, it’s okay, I’ll protect both of them! But if I can’t I trust you guys in protecting them! I think it’s a fun idea of having a little guy or girl running around the ship!”

Chopper— He sighs — “Luffy-”

— You put your hand on Chopper’s head — “Chopper, it’s alright. Trust him when he says he or his crew will protect us” — You smile at him —

Chopper— “Well I guess you’re right… Then I’ll protect you, ____!”

— You giggle — “I’m sure you will!”

Later that night

You were laying down in bed, Luffy had his head on your abdomen.

Luffy— “I can’t believe you have a baby here, that’s so funny. How did that even happened? Did you swallowed the little guy or girl?”

— “What? No! Luffy, do you seriously don’t know how I got pregnant?”

Luffy— he shakes his head —

— Sigh — “Remember that night? That night where I made you feel good and you also made me feel so good?”

Luffy— He thinks for a moment — “Oh yeah! That! Shishishi, that was a fun game, we should do it again”

— You laugh — “You’re right. But that’s the reason I got pregnant”

Luffy— “Oh, okay.”

— “You don’t understand, right?”

Luffy— He laughs — “Nope!”

— You smile at him — “You’ll understand someday, let’s go to sleep.”

Luffy falls asleep with his head on your abdomen, he didn't understand what was happening to your body or how big of a responsibility was taking care of a baby, butt he knew he had to be more protective of you. After all, you're carrying his and your baby! And he's excited to see the baby.

Z O R O

He didn't really notice how your eating habits had changed, but he did notice your mood swings, he didn't want to think too much about it. I mean, they're normal, right? Maybe you're on that thing girls call "period."

But then he started to get worried when it had been over a week and you were still having the same mood swings, you're the person he tolerates the most, after Luffy of course. But he started to get annoyed by how you started crying over the smallest things, making you have a small argument.

==================================

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, he was frustrated, he made you cry by raising his voice at you for questioning him about spending time together... why did he raise his voice at you? He was mentally insulting himself.

Then suddenly Sanji opened the door aggressively.

Sanji— “Hey, marimo” — He said with an aggressive tone —

Zoro— “Hm? What do you want?”

Sanji— “____, she fainted, she’s at Chopper’s office right now”

Zoro— “…What? She fainted?! Why?!”

Sanji— “I have no idea, I found her on the kitchen”

Zoro— He quickly stands up to go to the door — “Damn it!”

Sanji— He grabs his shoulder making him stop — “I heard how you raised your voice at her this morning, don’t you ever dare to hurt her feelings again or I’ll kick your ass”

Zoro doesn't say anything, he just slaps Sanji’s hand off his shoulder, but Sanji was right, he shouldn't have raised his voice at you. He quickly went to Chopper's office to check on you.

Zoro— “Chopper!”

Chopper— He flinches — “Zoro! You scared me!”

— “Zoro..?”

Zoro— “____! Oh, good you’re alright.” — He hugs you —

Chopper— “Yes, she just fainted because of being stressed, it’s nothing serious don’t worry”

Zoro— “…____, I’m really sorry for raising my voice at you this morning, I shouldn’t have done that… It was so stupid of me”

— “It’s okay, Zoro. I just been sensitive these past few days because I- I’m pregnant…”

Zoro— He freezes on place, did he heard you right? — “What did you said?”

— “I’m pregnant.”

Zoro— “You’re pregnant… Chopper, is that true? Is a baby actually growing inside of her?”

Chopper— “Yes, it’s true, those are the consequences of having unprotected sex”

Zoro— “So… how long do we have to wait for the baby to come out?”

Chopper— “Well since the last time you both had sexual relations was 3 months ago… I’ll say you have 6 months left.”

Zoro— “Well, what am I supposed to do now? Is she going to be okay?”

Chopper— “She’ll be okay, she just won’t be able to do a lot of psychical activity, like fighting.”

Zoro— “She won’t?!”

Chopper— “Yes, she’s carrying a baby so she won’t be able to do a lot of stuffs”

Zoro— “But what if I’m not able to protect her…”

— “Zoro…”

Chopper— “Don’t worry, Zoro. That’s why you have your crewmates! We’ll also protect ____!”

Zoro— “You’re right, thank you Chopper…”

Chopper— he nods — “If you guys ever need parenting advices please let me know! I’ll be studying more about human babies to help you guys.”

— “Thank you, Chopper, you’re the best doctor”

Chopper— He gets bashful — “Oh, you big dummy! Complimenting me like that doesn’t make me a bit happy, why would that make me happy?” — He says while doing a cute little dance —

— You giggle — “Whatever you say, Chopper.”

It was already afternoon, you were with Zoro in the crow's nest, he was resting with his head on your lap after a hard day of training.

— “Zoro, you should get some rest, you can’t be training hard everyday without rest.”

Zoro— “I can’t… I need to get stronger, and since you’re pregnant I’ll have to train way more”

— “It’s okay, Zoro. You heard what Chopper said, they’ll also protect me! Don’t you trust them?”

Zoro— “I do trust them, ____. But I want to be the one that protects you, what if everyone gets defeated? What will happen to you and our baby?

— “Zoro…”

Zoro— “And don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that we're going to have a baby... but I'm just worried, you know that my dream is to become the greatest swordsman and I train hard every day to achieve it, but that doesn't give me much time to spend with you.”

— You listen to him carefully —

Zoro— “I want to be there for you, I want to be a good father and boyfriend, but I also have my own dreams and you know that and I don’t want us to argue for that, like we did in the morning, it’s not good for you or the baby.”

— “I understand, Zoro. I’m sorry I acted that way this morning… being pregnant is hard, it can make you more sensitive or have mood swings, or that’s what Chopper told me… So I’ll need you to be patient with me too”

Zoro— He smiles at you and sits next to you — “I understand, ____. I’ll try my best to be a good boyfriend for you and our baby”

— “I know you’ll be a good father, Zoro”

Zoro puts his hand on your abdomen and feels the small bump.

Zoro— “I can’t wait to see if it’s a boy or a girl… Either way, I’ll teach them to be the next greatest swordsman.”

He's a little stressed about the idea of ​​having a baby, as he doesn't want to make you feel alone due to his constant training, but he'll make sure to figure something out, and now you understand that too.

S A N J I

He was quick to notice your mood swings and cravings, noticing how sometimes you just wanted to eat the weirdest combinations or the entire refrigerator or how sometimes you couldn't stand the smell or sight of food.

Of course, he was very worried. Did you want to try new foods that he didn't know about? Did you get bored of his food? He couldn't go on with this, so he decided to ask you because he needed answers immediately.

==================================

Sanji was in the kitchen preparing your favorite meal. He noticed that you didn't eat the meal he made this morning. He thought that you probably just didn't like what he made, but he was also thinking about other things.

Did you start to get bored with his cooking? Did you hate the food he was preparing? Or why haven't you been eating the food he's been preparing for you these past few days?

After finishing preparing the meal, he quickly walked out of the kitchen and went to the girl’s room. When he arrived, he knocked on the door, and you lazily said, "Come in."

Sanji— He opens the door and comes inside the room — “My love! I prepared your favorite dish!”

— “Oh, Sanji! Aw, you didn't have to, sweetie”

Sanji— “My love, I noticed that you didn't eat this morning, so you're probably hungry right now”

— “I'm not! I swear I'm okay!”

Sanji— "Are you getting bored of my food? Don't you like it anymore? You haven't been eating any of the food I've been preparing these past few days."

— “Oh, sweetie, it's none of that I swear! F-” — You quickly cover your mouth, you feel like you are going to throw up again —

Sanji— “My love?”

You quickly ran out of the room, you weren't going to be able to go all the way to the restroom to throw up so you had to lean onto the ship rail and throw up everything you had on your stomach.

Sanji follows you and he starts patting your back, letting you know that he's here if you need anything.

Sanji— "____?! Are you okay? Do you need anything? Some water? Should I call Chopper?!"

— “Sanji, I can't stand the smell of food, I have barely been eating because of that... I think I'm sick, please take me to Chopper”

He nods, then he picks you up and takes you to Chopper’s office when he arrives he opens the door with his foot.

Chopper— He turns his head to the door — “Sanji?! ____!? What happened to her?”

Sanji— “She’s been feeling sick lately, she can't stand the smell of food or she feels like she throws up, please, Chopper, do something!”

Chopper— “Okay, please put her on bed.”

Sanji doesn't say anything else and he generally out you on the bed. He's really worried, what if it's something serious? What if it's some kind of sickness that not even Chopper can cure?

Chopper— “Okay, ____, please tell me your symptoms”

— “These past few days I've been feeling like I want to throw up just smelling the food, I have also been noticing that my stomach has been getting rounder, and I've also been feeling more sensitive.”

Chopper— He thinks for a moment — “When was the last time you got your period?”

— “I haven't gotten my period for 3 months now”

Chopper— He gasps — “Could it be that… ____, when was the last time you had sexual relations?!”

— “3 months ago… wait…”

Chopper— “But you used protection right?!”

Sanji— “Um…”

— “…No”

Chopper— “____… I think you're pregnant”

Sanji— “SHE’S WHAT?!”

— “What?! A-Are you sure!?”

Chopper— “I'm sure, but to be more sure I'll need you to take some pregnancy tests”

Chopper quickly ran to the cabinet and gave you a pregnancy test and a cup.

Chopper— “You’ll need to urinate in this cup, and then put the tip of the pregnancy test inside the cup, if it has 2 lines then that means you're pregnant… but if it has one line then it means you aren't pregnant. Any questions?”

You nod at everything Chopper says, how is Sanji taking this? Does he even want to be a father?

Sanji— He coughs — “So, Chopper, I have a question.”

Chopper— “Go ahead”

Sanji— “If she's pregnant…” — His eyes turn into hearts — “Does this mean her breasts will get bigger?!”

Chopper— “Yes indeed, they'll also get more sensitive and could probably leak breast milk, it's something normal but it could be embarrassing for ____.”

Sanji— “Bigger… sensitive… and they leak milk?!” — His nose starts bleeding —

— “Sanji!” — Your face turns red —

Chopper— “Sanji!?”

Later that night, after Chopper performed a blood transfusion on Sanji, and you took the pregnancy test that indeed came out positive, Sanji is still resting in bed. However, you are feeling impatient and decide to show him the pregnancy test now.

You open Chopper’s office and see Sanji resting on the bed, but he isn't asleep, he is just staring at the ceiling.

— “Sanji?”

Sanji— “____-love! Was the pregnancy test positive?!”

— You hand him the pregnancy test — “It is…”

Sanji— His eyes shine — “My love! We're having a baby! I can't believe this I real!”

He stands up picks you up and gently puts you on the bed.

— “Sanji, are you actually happy? I mean, do you really want to have a baby?”

Sanji— “Of course I am happy! I always wanted to start a family with you! Oh, this is the best day of my life!” — He starts filling your face with his kisses —

— You giggle — “Stop that! It tickles!”

Sanji— He laughs — “I'm sorry I'm just really happy!”

— “I'm happy too, but I won't be able to fight while I'm pregnant…”

Sanji— “You don't have to worry about that, ____. You know I'll always protect you!”

— You smile at him — “I'm sure you will”

Sanji— “I love you so much, sweetheart”

— “I love you too”

This man is happy about the idea of having a baby. He knows you will be a wonderful mother, and he is excited to see the changes your breasts will have. However, that's not all he cares about, he cares about your well-being and commodity, and will always be there for you if you ever need something. Trust me, he‘ll be the good father he never had. (biologically)

==================================

The three of them have their own opinions about having a baby, but even with different opinions, the three of them will be great fathers! And they trust their crewmates to take care of you anytime they can't! <3

Please let me know if I made spelling mistakes, some things don’t make sense or got their personality wrong!

[sanjisblackasswife]

So.... Hello! I'm not Very good at english since it's not my language but here we Go. I wanna to say i really love your art (from fanarts to your write style) and i Hope you have a good day today. Anyway i don't know If your ask are ope but How the Monsters trio Will react with they being your First in everthing! (Like First Kiss, First love, First s*x, etc) you can do nsfw-ish If you wanted

aww thank u!:) I am not going to go into grave detail because I am already doing a “First time” series with them but i like this request💓imma do it moreso where you’re THEIRS if thats alright

Being the Monster Trio’s First (NSFW-ish)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

CW: Mentions of sex

I am half sleep and typing this all in one go so mb for my spelling errors im just making up for lost time not posting consistently because school and coms☹️

Being Luffy’s First:

Crush: Being his crush is no different from being his best friend, he isn’t a very romantic guy if he likes you he will just tell you, “Y/N I think about you a lot, and I also think you may have a Lust DF power because when I think of you i get hard.” Bless him he is very blunt. BUT he does mean what he says so..be nice?

Kiss: Probably the most anticlimactic thing ever. Luffy already licks your face, hugs, and touches you a lot so when he starts running at you after a fight to see if you’re okay BAM. His lips smack into yours like a bowling ball and honestly. It’s cute. Completely uncoordinated, damn near sucked your bottom lip off, but…there was just something so addictive and attractive to his kiss that made you want more

Love: Very odd in his case. He just thought he liked you a lot. The signs were evident though, when you tell him he doesn’t deny it persay he moreso brushes it off because being in love is so new to him. However being his first love is something you can’t forget. He reminds you everyday why you’re important. Why he loves you. And why he fell in love with you.

Sexual Encounter: It was fun! You both were inexperienced. He didn’t know what hole to enter, you were shocked by how long he can stretch his dick. You both even spent the night laughing more than actually having sex, but once it came down to business it was a learning experience for you both. He was so attentive to make sure you were okay you felt yourself crying a little afterwards at how gentle he was with you.

Being Zoro’s First:

crush: He’s actually more of an asshole to you Not even on purpose he just doesn’t want to admit his feelings towards you. You’re beautiful, sweet, and charming and dammit he hates that he has feelings and how you always mess them up when you’re around him! He feels so powerless so please be gentle with him…or put him on blast. It maybe attractive to the mf.

Kiss: Awkward, awkward, awkward. He isn’t the rizzmaster okay. Yes he is pretty and he knows it but he is crap to flirting. absolutely crap. He was so hot in the face when you did the first move and kissed him he was a stuttering mess and pulled you back in for another kiss to prevent you from laughing at him. His kisses wasn’t BAD but …just practice with him. Yeah it was awkward but seeing your face so close and personal, smelling your scent. He couldn’t get enough.

Love: DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT Absolutely ridiculous how in denial he was. Everytime someone even said the word love he’d get so mad because that word applied to you in so many ways. He fell for you and he couldn’t do anything about it. You were the one opponent he could not beat and honestly, he didn’t want to. He fell for you and he fell so hard that it actually makes him nervous to be around you. He doesn’t know whether he loves you or hates you now for being so irresistible to him. Eventually he comes to terms with it and once it does and you feel the same way. Good luck getting rid of him.

Sexual Encounter: You taught him everything. He didn’t know his way from the clit to your ass. It took a lot of trial and error, sex wasn’t really NEW to him. He has seen porn but it’s completely different from films and pictures so sometimes he would back down when making out got too far, eventually he needed that release one late night while cuddling you and even though he could have went to the bathroom you stopped him and …helped him out. Let’s just say Zoro is so grateful he didn’t pussy out this go round!

Being Sanji’s First:

Crush: Sanji is an interesting guy because any woman that knows Sanji knows he is a mixture of a flirt and just having amazing manners for women. You however was just above the usual women he served to. Being his crush was an experience because you seen a side to Sanji most women don’t get to see. You seen him stand up straighter, sly comments that made your heart melt, and even kept his cool…too cool in fact. He really was Mr. Prince for you.

Kiss: The first kiss he planned it out. He knew his feelings about you and that you felt the same so he needed to plan it just right not just for him, but for you as well. The kiss was so soft and delicate you almost didn’t feel it. And that was because he shy’ed away for a moment, scared his sudden bold move would have you smack him, Luckily, he didn’t have to worry feeling your hands cup his cheek to kiss him back. He still touches his lips when he thinks about that time you kissed him.

Love: I mean man…you really are a blessed woman because out of all of the others he has seen and been with he chose you and only you. it’s insane really. He tries in his entire will to not mess this opportunity to find true love up. You being his first love he watches his mouth and actions around you more, He tries his hardest not to ruin the view you have of him and it shows. If you can just reassure him you love him for him and not who he thinks he needs to be. Sanji needs the confirmation that you love him almost as much as he loves you.

Sexual Encounter: LORD—- okay. okay. Just like Zoro trial and error HOWEVER. Much longer and worse. He really is still a pervert no matter how much in love he is with you so you have to take it very slow. Once you both are okay to be naked in front of each other he is back to being a shy boy so you constantly kiss and praise him, telling him how good he is for you, how well he is doing for his first time. You were so kind and patient with him, it never fails to leave a chill down his spine (in a good way) when he remembers that night of love making with you, and now that he has more experience he does nothing but reciprocate the same feelings back to you in bed.

[gatitties]

Haihaiii! Ive been reading ur op stuff for a while now and i really love the way u write the strawhats and the wbp, i wanted to ask if i can i rq the WBP and/or the strawhats with a young (like around 14/15) isekai'ed reader whos like a really bad procastinator? Like theyll be telling the crew how they have this project they have to do till *random date*, and the crew (specifically marco & thatch/robin nd sanji if u can 😓😓) will ask them from time to time if they alrd started doing it and theyll be like "yeah dw imma do it tmr" then theyll just draw or do smt else rather than do the thing they have to do, eventually when its 1 day till they gotta send it they'll panic but eventually get it done?

Thank yew ^^ !!

─Strawhats & Whitebeard Pirates x young!reader (platonic)

─Sumary: There is no need to stress yourself unnecessarily, you just enjoy until you have no options left but to move forward with your task.

─Warnings: none

─ The moment you were sent to this world full of pirates and adventures you knew that your procrastination would only get worse, but who wouldn't prefer exploring another world full of fantasy things to doing class work?

─ This crew doesn't know what it's like to leave everything to the last minute until they meet you, you will simply block all kinds of activities if you find one much more entertaining or better.

─ Many of them don't understand it because you seem so calm and then so stressed about being able to finish your projects, stress that you would not have been exposed to if you had kept up with your tasks.

─ Sanji refuses to give you any type of drink or food that could stimulate or vary your sleeping hours just because you didn't start doing your homework sooner, he probably reminds you all the time that you have pending homework.

─ Robin will offer to help you with anything, but knowing that someone as smart as her would help you only made you think that the job would be done quickly and that's why you delayed it further.

─ Even though they scold you for your poor time management, they will help you complete anything pending if they see that you are going to tear your hair out if you keep pulling it, Chopper and Jinbe are usually quite reliable.

─ Luffy will only be one more cause of your procrastination, he gives you the opportunity to do what you want when you want, although your world cannot always be governed by that rule, you can afford to do it in this one.

─ Temporary vacation in another world? It sounds a lot better than that assignment you have to turn in in two days.

─ You will leave even the simplest task alone to see how this crew does the most trivial things like cleaning or cooking.

─ Whitebeard never thought that he would find someone lazier than Ace, although you are not lazy, you just enjoy things until the last moment.

─ Marco scolds you a lot because he says that it is not healthy to go through so much stress in a short period of time for something that you could have done before calmly, the excuse that you work better under pressure is not valid for him.

─ Ace tries to get you not to stop doing what you're doing for something else more entertaining, but you also find his narcolepsy much more entertaining than some of your pending works, he tries to help but it's also a distraction.

─ Thatch will also try to help you with your homework when he has free time, but one, either he doesn't know how to help you because he doesn't understand what you're learning, or two, he'll start blabbing about any gossip with you.

─ If you really want to do your tasks on time and calmly, Izou is probably the one who will let you have the least distractions, but for now you still prefer to be a chaos of anxiety because you don't know if you will complete the work on the deadline.

[verycharismaticdragon]

@mandlien: Op where is the essay 👀 @latitudeoctopus: An essay I would like to see 🙏

Glad u asked! <-guy who was totally angling for someone to ask

OG post this continues from, for those just tuning in now:

actually SQQ's first encounter with LQG perfectly illustrates which of SY's idiosyncrasies perfectly converged to make him absolutely obsessed with Binghe, in this essay i will

So, to start with, the explanation for why I think this scene in particular is more illuminating than all of SQQ's interactions with actual LBH. 

That's because there's not a single scene in the novel where his interactions with LBH-the-person are not colored by pre-existing bias of already being obsessed with LBH-the-character. Like, consider the scene where he appraises Shen Qingqiu's looks, and finishes it off with:

He still couldn’t compare to Luo Binghe. (vol.1, ch.1)

despite not having seen Luo Binghe in person yet. But no, he's already convinced his beloved blorbo is of course The Handsomest Ever!

Simply speaking, we never encounter Shen Yuan pre-Binghe Syndrome (when instead of brain there's binghe). So it's difficult to tell whether any particular way he thinks or feels in Binghe’s presence is the standard for him, or owed to the fact that he already likes Binghe in at least one way.

But the same can not be said of Liu Qingge: while SY did have some interest in his character, he didn’t really think of him before encountering him in Lingxi Caves. Plus, unlike Binghe who seems to have fully aligned with SQQ’s expectations of him, LQG had given him a little shock — which prompted some re-evaluation of his prev thoughts on SQQ's part.

(cont. under cut)

Now is a good time to mention that I arrived at thinking about this scene while considering Shen Yuan's relationship with toxic masculinity — and remembering I jotted down 'Shen Yuan's fascination with masculinity' in my reread notes for this scene.

[Bai Zhan Peak] was the most warlike of Cang Qiong Mountain's branches, as well as the branch with the greatest martial ability. Every single generation's Bai Zhan Peak Lord was a world-class swordmaster, a victor of countless battles, an undefeated legend. How hot-blooded—how dashing!  Male readers always fervently admired strong characters. Even though Liu Qingge never officially debuted on page, he hadn't lacked for fans, and Shen Yuan had been especially fascinated with him. In his headcanon, Liu Qingge had been a sharp and manly man, powerful and magnificent. A war god, right?! (vol.1, ch.2)

So, Shen Yuan’s fascination with Liu Qingge’s character — or rather his headcanon version of it — is about Liu Qingge being someone who (in SY’s mind) embodies masculine qualities. And what qualities are those? From this section, being “strong” (has to be physically powerful) and “undefeated” (can’t be a loser) — yeah, pretty standard toxic masc starting kit. 

And something of interest here: though SQQ describes it mostly as his own feelings, even in this excerpt, he slips in a “male readers always [...] admired” — which, when considering everything else we know about his relationship to masculinity, kind of gives off an insecurity vibe. He seems to be either trying to justify his own feelings (i.e., ‘other men feel the same way, i’m in-group not out-group, i’m not failing at being a man by feeling this way [admiring another man]’), or else emulating other male fans and trying to convince himself he relates to the story the same way they do (i.e., ‘male readers admire strong characters and im a man therefore i definitely also admire the same things’).

Speaking of emulating other male fans, there’s another quality that SY seems to associate with masculinity, this one not very related to Liu Qingge — though SQQ does make a mental detour into it in the same scene, when talking about other Peaks.

Yeah, when he mentions Xian Shu, and the fact that the popularity of self-insert erotic/lewd fics about Xian Shu "compared to that of the original work” in PIDW fandom, or possibly even in general on ‘Zhongdian’ (since afaik you can publish fanfiction on Chinese webnovel sites alongside original works, you just have to tag it as such). In other words, among male fans. 

But we know SY doesn’t like sex scenes, right? Hell, his favorite wife is Liu Mingyan at least in part because she doesn’t have sex scenes:

There was one more appeal factor. Liu Mingyan was the only female character for whom Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky didn't write detailed sex scenes. (vol.1, ch.2)

Of course… that’s what SQQ says in his head where nobody can hear him. We actually have evidence of him singing a different tune when among other fans:

Most of the female protagonists are stupid sexy lamps, and the male lead doesn't even bed Liu Mingyan, the only breath of fresh air? He doesn't bed the rightful empress? Are you fucking kidding me? (vol.4, ch.26, part 1)

(speaking of, this is why ‘peerless cucumber is SY’s true self’ takes baffle me. his toxicmascsona is his true self, really?)

So SY has another qualifier for ‘manly man’ in his head: being sexual (of course, in a straight way). Which is not something that comes naturally to him, as evidenced by him cringing away from any actual action even when he tries to emulate the thought pattern, e.g.:

Qi Qingqi? She was indeed slightly junior to him, and their first meeting...he'd long forgotten how it went. "Often together" wasn't quite right, though. Perhaps he at times dared to think about going to Xian Shu Peak so they could be "often together," but while he had the wicked intentions, he lacked the courage required to follow through—and he could never commit an act as depraved as stalking. (vol.4, ch.23) 

Riiiight, SQQ, you totally have those 'wicked intentions' that you merely can't follow through on because you just invented reasons not to.

But that does give us an image of SY’s ideal of masculinity. Extremely powerful, undefeatable, and hypersexual… yeah no points for guessing who. I’m pretty sure SQQ even directly equates Bing-ge with masculinity somewhere, I just can’t remember the exact spot. And he also believes that any man should definitely want to be in Bing-ge’s place, like for example here:

Every man dreamed of being caught between an angel and a devil. To watch them jealously vie with each other over him one moment, then risk life and limb for his sake in the next—that was the highest, most sacred, perverted fantasy of every male organism.  (vol.1, ch.2)

…though I must note, once again, “every man”, “every male organism” — but does SQQ actually feel the same way? I think that the answer is he thinks that he should, and is trying to convince himself that he does.

Which must be difficult considering he finds men more attractive than women, returning back to that scene with Liu Qingge.

In any other state, Shen Qingqiu might have declared, "What a beautiful man!" (vol.1, ch.2)

Really bestie? You would've declared it? Because I don't see you show the same enthusiasm about women. In fact, you usually jump right into how they were described in the novel, as if you don't have your own opinion. 

Now, I must note that I personally don’t think finding someone attractive equals actually being attracted to them. But this does imply which way SQQ's tastes veer. In fact, we can even see that he has a type. First, he describes LQG's face as "as beautiful as a fine woman's"; then adds:

This was clearly the face of a charming young master who arranged flowers and plucked farewell willow branches! (vol.1, ch.2)

Of course, if we are talking about charming young masters with feminine looks, their bearing that of a classic Chinese gentleman (warrior-scholar ideal who’d ‘pluck farewell willow branches’)...

That firm yet humble countenance, demonstrating his noble and unyielding spirit. That pencil-straight back and stance, evincing a proud core that would rather break than bend! (vol.1, ch.1)

[SQQ] saw a glimpse of the future Luo Binghe's unique grace, that of "eyes like cold stars, a soft and radiant smile, with muted words and quiet laughter." (vol.1, ch.1)

In truth, deep down, Bing-ge's fair and clean pretty-boy type didn't really suit the tastes of "Great Master" Airplane Flying Towards the Sky. He had only assigned this sort of configuration to the protagonist to meet his stallion hardware specifications. The art of growing stallions was grounded in science, and the research was clear: women preferred men who looked cultured, pretty, and even a bit soft and feminine. (vol.4, ch.26, part 2)

…there’s no question who is superlative in SQQ’s heart. To boot, he doesn’t even realize that he’s biased about LBH’s attractiveness, as we can see from Airplane-bro’s musings above. So that’s Cucumber-bro’s type: cultured, pretty, a bit feminine.

See, a fun little discrepancy here: what SQQ sees as a masculine ideal and therefore can admire plainly — again, powerful, undefeatable, and hypersexual, — and what he finds attractive in a man, under all those layers of denial, are two pretty different things.

Liu Qingge, despite his appearance unveiling a side of both to us, doesn’t actually fully embody either type: on the masculinity side, he is missing the hypersexuality, on the attractiveness side, his looks fit but his bearing doesn’t match.

But you know who hits all of SY’s qualifications on both counts?.. yeah, once again no points for guessing, it stars with "Bing" and ends with "ge".

So: the source of Shen Yuan’s obsession with LBH-the-character is the intersection of those two factors. Like you know that old wlw joke “I can’t tell if I wanna be her or date her”? Thats Shen Yuan with Luo Binghe, but, yknow, unconsciously. He admires LBH as an epitome of masculinity, an image of a Perfect Male to strive for; he also very much finds him attractive in a gay way. 

In fact, I would even say that an important component of Binghe brainrot is that he is an acceptable target for admiration. How can SY be accused of being gay over liking a horny stallion novel? So it’s totally normal that he thinks of Binghe a lot, obviously that’s just because he looks up to him! Because Binghe is such a perfect iteration of a male stallion protagonist! Who wouldn’t want to be in his place, thinks Shen Yuan, never ever having imagined being in Binghe’s place even once. Ofc that’s only because Binghe got insane game though! Shen Yuan couldn’t hope to compare. LBH is just so admirable and sexy,, for the wives of course, the wives find him sexy, not Shen Yuan, Shen Yuan is just stating facts— etcetcetc.

Point is, LBH is a man that Shen Yuan can like without shame, because he has a whole bag of above-the-board reasons to prove that he's not liking him the wrong way. A perfect target of convergence for Shen Yuan’s conscious and unconscious thoughts (and desires).

And this is how SY ended up with the years-long hyperfix we see in the beginning of the novel.