#oops this is so long I’m so sorry lmao

[kj-yikes]

fandom ask game:

2. - Supergirl fandom

12 - Supercorp ship

7. - Kelly Olsen character

2 ...my three favorite characters and why I love them so much.

Lena Luthor: y’all I don’t know why this fictional character has such a hold on me but she does. She does. She’s brilliant, powerful, cunning, ambitious, loyal, gorgeous. She just wants to do better than the people who came before her. And like she’s questionable at it sometimes (that conversation with James about owning a gun for self defense??? girl no one is taking your guns away calm down) but like the intent is there. And it’s so heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time to have a character who’s been through so much and been surrounded by bad people who just wants to be good. It really scratches that itch for me.

Nia Nal: I want Nia Nal to be my best friend. She’s so fierce and sweet and funny and kind and like Nicole Maines went so hard on her and it shows. She just shines through in almost every scene she’s in. Also I want to go shopping with Nia. She’s always wearing outfits that I adore. I want the best for Nia Nal, she deserves the world.

Kara Danvers: this was kind of a hard third choice, surprisingly. I first watched Supergirl right after I came out in 2018, mainly because I had heard the supercorp rumblings on tumblr (surprisingly I didn’t hear about Alex, the actually canonically queer character?) and I was still in a bit of a superhero phase and desperate for anything remotely queer that wasn’t, you know, a downer. Early Kara really resonated with me, for some reason. I was also in a period of transition in my life, around the same age as Kara, and she made me feel seen in a way I can’t really describe. It inspired me to watch her grow into herself, to claim a part of her identity and make it her own. I modeled my entire wardrobe off S2-3 Kara for years. In a way, I sometimes don’t think I can disentangle what Kara meant to me during that time and Kara the actual character. She’s goofy, she’s smart, she’s strong, and she’s still trying to figure herself out, and I think I saw myself in those characteristics.

12 ...about three of the scenes that make me have feelings and (if available) find the gifs that underline my points.

Oh lord this is gonna be so long. The first one is DEFINITELY the scene right before Lena leaves the fortress of solitude before Lex shows up because Lena Kieran Luthor just wanted a goddamn hug and she didn’t get one and then Kara was sent to the phantom zone and UGH. It hurts me.

(I’m on mobile so finding gifs is hard and I don’t feel up to it tonight I’m so sorry)

I think the second one is the “climb Lena climb” scene because it gives me So Many Feelings that I feel like the show just freaking glossed over. Kara’s spent most of the beginning of s3 upset about Mon-El, saying that she will always choose to save the many and not the few even if the few is someone she loves, and then she refuses to drop Lena. Like I know the situation was different—no one was in imminent danger if the chemicals spilled. It would’ve been a massive headache and I’m sure it would’ve killed people but it wasn’t as immediately dire as the Daxamite invasion. But, still. It’s a significant change from what Kara had been saying. Her actions don’t back her words and I wish we had explored that more. I honestly feel like the aftermath was Kara’s moment to tell Lena about her identity. I wish we had seen Kara doing more reflection after that moment, even just acknowledging how much Lena means to her.

Also, that scene is just a classic “superhero rescues the love interest” scene and that shot of Kara holding Lena and the plane is so good lol.

The third one that’s been on my mind is when Mercy attacks L-Corp and Kara can’t get away to change and swoop in as supergirl. This gives me a lot of angsty feelings. The clip keeps circulating on tumblr and I think the vibe of that post is “haha secret identities are so funny” and yeah I think that scene has some funny elements and situational irony to it but it’s kind of just heartbreaking to me. Lena does everything to try to protect Kara. She places herself between Mercy and Kara. I’m convinced pre-reveal Lena Luthor would die for Kara Danvers. And there are so many ways we can break down why Kara waited so long to tell Lena and I understand them and empathize with her but it kills me that Lena Luthor would practically do anything for Kara and Kara still can’t bring herself to do the one thing Lena’s always asked for. Honestly maybe this scene hurts because I get low key secondhand embarrassment for both Lena and Kara.

7 ...the scene that I think adds depth to their character or the relationship this character has with someone.

I wanted so much more Kelly but I do think we get a couple of scenes that really add depth to her character. The one that comes to mind is when she decides to go into James’ memories to help him process his trauma. That had to have been such a traumatic day for her, too, yet she still chooses to relive it to help James.

I also think of when she establishes a boundary with her relationship with Alex, when Alex doesn’t text her to tell her she’s okay and Kelly gets upset. Like of course that would be a trigger for her, having lost her fiancée in combat! Of course she should tell Alex about it and work through it. She handled the situation really well and I feel like it made her and Alex’s relationship stronger. (Wow, positive queer relationship representation where the couple can have a mature conversation and support and be there for each other??? How refreshing!)

[cuteniarose]

can you plz infodump about your ocs?? so new people to your blog can understand them

Hey, anon? I hope you know that this ask is the best one I’ve gotten in all my 3 1/2 years on this hellsite, so thank you!! You really don’t need to know about my OCs to follow this blog cause a) I post once in a blue moon nowadays, and b) it’s rarely about my OCs, BUT SINCE YOU ASKED-

K, so, my main OCs are Suiren and Midori, sisters who just so happen to be Ghazan and Ming-Hua’s daughters. They were 7 and 4 respectively when their parents were imprisoned for trying to kidnap Korra, which led to them being placed in the ‘care’ of Ghazan’s older sister, Haya. What happens to them after that? Well, you’d have to be more specific, since I have about a trillion different AUs featuring them. The two most important ones (aka the ones written down) are:

1. Seeds of the Red Lotus. The very first fic I wrote about them, which I... haven’t updated in two years. It currently stands at 5 chapters BUT I am in the process of rewriting and continuing it. The basic concept is that the girls grow up in utter misery under Haya’s iron fist, and in a desperate attempt to get enough money to leave and live a happy, comfortable life somewhere else, Suiren becomes an assassin at the bright old age of 17. Fast forward 6 years, and Team Avatar, unable to take down the Earth Empire on their own, hire her to kill Kuvira

2. Under the Oak’s Shade. A rather self indulgent AU written as a form of catharsis and spiritual healing. Six months into living with Haya, the girls are taken in by Zhi, a cranky lesbian with a bad sense of direction/P’Li’s firebending teacher from the Red Lotus/my friend @katkastrofa‘s OC from her fic Lost and Found (which, unlike the multichaps I write, is complete and you should go read it immediately). Once I pull myself together to actually figure out how the next instalment in the series should go, this will, most likely, eventually become a Red Lotus Korra AU, which I’m definitely looking forward to writing.

Now that the basics are out of the way, let’s get to actual infodumping about my two precious cinnamon rolls. Most of this info is from SotRL-verse, as that is the main story I’ve got about them, so keep that in mind

-

Suiren:

23 years old as of 174 AG. Master waterbender and deadly assassin. Cold, calculating and precise in everything she does, leaving no room for error. Takes no shit from anyone, is fiercely defensive and independent, and is the last person to ever accept any help or charity. Confident in her abilities and borderline cocky at times, a lot of which is a front. Extremely short tempered, nihilistic, cynical and high strung, not willing to let anyone get close enough to her to see her hidden vulnerabilities

She wasn’t always like this. A long time ago, back before she lost her parents, she was much, much softer, kinder and more gentle. Her parents called her their little water lily, and the nickname suited her well. However, P’Li’s nickname for her was ‘my little firecracker’, so she very much still had quite a temper even back then. Overall, she was a happy little girl with bright eyes and a mischievous smile who was determined to excel in her waterbending lessons. She was Ming-Hua’s pride and joy. 16 years of taking the brunt of Haya’s anger to shield her sister, as well as destroying the part of herself that wouldn’t let her mindlessly do the bidding of whoever paid her, changed her, perhaps irreversibly.

Her old life still haunts her, though. Genetics played a cruel joke on her – the silky black hair reaching below her waist, the angular features, the prominent cheekbones, the (relatively) short height – it all serves to make her see her mother every single time she glances in the mirror. Being just like her mother was something she once aspired to, but now follows her like a curse. Even the things she got from her dad, dark skin and golden brown eyes, don’t help, and just make her look like Haya, especially when she’s angry

There is another side to her that no one but Midori gets to see. She may not be as soft as sixteen years ago, but she is still capable of love and gentleness. She loves her sister more than anything else in life, has already killed and would die for her. She is very protective of Midori (though often to a fault). She hugs her tight and kisses her forehead and cheeks, quietly sings her (their mother’s) lullabies as she calms her down from a nightmare, heals any and all her wounds, tells her stories of their parents, always puts her first no matter how pained and exhausted she herself is... In short, Suiren took on the role of a self sacrificing parent a long time ago and has played it well

Suiren is a distinguished lesbian but can’t keep a partner longer than a few weeks. Girls fawn all over her, but once they see past the pretty face and confident demeanour and notice everything wrong with her, they run (which only serves to make Suiren’s abandonment issues worse). She has taken to sticking to one night stands when she needs an outlet for her frustrations, convinced she will never have, and isn’t deserving of, a long lasting, loving relationship

She struggles severely with her mental health, constantly plagued by what she has done. She tries to limit her sleep to avoid nightmares that she knows will come and represses all emotions except for anger as that is the safest to latch onto and channel into killing. She is almost always on edge and feels pressure mounting with every single day. Very prone to overstimulation when it comes to noise, light and people. The only times she ever relaxes (or, at least, pretends to) is when she’s alone with Midori or with Lotus, her pet sabertooth moose lion.

To sum up: the poor girl is a vessel for my trauma and deserves a 30 hour nap, a hug, a warm blanket, the whole world and her parents back

-

Midori:

20 years old as of 174 AG. Earthbender, though not very good at it. She discovered her earthbending only a few months before losing her parents, and had no one to teach her since then. She is naturally kindhearted and hardworking, always trying to help out where she can and seem useful. Quiet and anxious, she prefers to stick to the background and draw as little attention to herself as possible (which is in fact a defence mechanism against Haya’s treatment of her but, y’know, let’s not get into that rn)

Sixteen years ago, Midori was a bright and happy little girl, wanting nothing more than for everyone around her to be happy as well. Always full of energy, she could talk and ramble for hours about anything that crossed her mind. Just as mischievous as her sister, she knew she was the baby of the family and could get away with anything, though to her credit, she didn’t abuse that much. Her parents called her their little Seedling, the youngest of them all so full of potential and eager to grow and make her parents proud. P’Li often called her a cuddlebug for her affectionate nature (am I stealing that from Kat’s fic bc it made me scream into my pillow for five minutes straight? Maybe. You can’t prove anything).

In present age, she’s a lot more similar to her childhood self than Suiren is. She doesn’t talk that much anymore, if at all, and her happiness is often clouded by the harsh world around her, but some of that cheerfulness still shines through, especially when she’s alone with Suiren or with Tenzin’s kids. The energy once used for rambling and chasing butterflies and racing with her sister is now almost always redirected into chores and housework, though if Suiren offered, she’d gladly race her again (and probably win tbh, her legs are longer and Renny prefers faster methods than running)

She doesn’t remember her parents well, and their faces have blurred beyond recognition in her mind. It’s why her appearance doesn’t affect her as much as Renny’s own does her. She’s not a carbon copy of either of her parents like Suiren is, she’s more of an even mix. She knows what Suiren had told her, that she has their mother’s eyes and their father’s nose, but can’t piece anything together in her head. She keeps her hair, as dark and silky as Suiren’s, though thicker, at shoulder length, a bit uneven in places as she cuts it herself. As a child, Ghazan would tie her hair into twin pigtails every morning and she never let anyone else do it. She hasn’t styled her hair in any way since she took those pigtails out before going to bed the night their parents left

A disaster bisexual, proven by the fact that out of all people in the world, she falls for Opal Beifong. You know, the step sister of the woman Midori’s sister has to kill (or die trying), and the daughter of the woman who killed Midori’s beloved auntie P’Li. Yeah, tough case. Anyway, turns out, there is a limited supply of Ghazan’s charm in his genetic code and it all got passed down to Renny, because ‘Dori herself turns into an awkward mess whenever the opportunity to flirt arises. It’s fine though, Opal still finds her adorable. Also she probably had a small crush on Bolin when they first met, but that was because he was one of the only people her age to be nice to her and she got over it quickly

Remember how I said she was quiet and anxious? Yeah, understatement of the century. Her anxiety follows her around throughout her day and is the driving force behind all of her decisions. Many things, from raised voices to passive aggressiveness to bad moods to unfinished housework, can trigger it. When it does, she clams up and curls in on herself, but tries her best to deescalate or rectify the situation. She’s also very sensitive to any kind of conflict, even when she’s not part of it. Midori also worries a lot for Suiren while she’s away on missions, as she knows she’ll completely fall apart if something were to happen to Renny. She has nightmares about it often, almost every night that Suiren is not there. Little does she know, Suiren has similar worries over losing her.

Another big thing is her major inferiority complex. She looks at her big sister and sees someone who has always been talented, powerful and capable. Someone who can do so many things without even breaking a sweat. Someone who has girls fawning all over her. And then ‘Dori looks at herself and sees none of those things. She doesn’t hate Suiren for it, not at all, but tiny inklings of disdain sometimes take form. She tries hard to ignore it, but often can do nothing but listen to those thoughts swirl around in her head.

In summary: An anxious mess of a girl who is in desperate need of a proper support system and someone (*cough* Opal *cough*) who could assure her that she is enough and that it doesn’t matter if she isn’t like her sister, she’s perfect just the way she is

-

If you want me to elaborate on any of this (and this goes for everyone, not just anon) my askbox is always open and my desire to infodump about my precious traumatised babies never wavers

[whorelaud]

꒦꒷ 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 birthday sex ¿¡

pairing bf¡drew starkey x fem¡reader

summary just reader dealing with horny drew while hes away on his birthday

contatins fluff, slightly suggestive, age gap, drew texting like an old man!!

a/n little birthday texting oneshot because i love him so much agh!!

word count 702

ml <3: Where is my happy birthday?

You grinned, perking up when you noticed the message you received from your boyfriend. You typed in a quick response, knowing how sulky he gets when you take long to reply, especially when he’s away. 

You: okay damn straight to the point

You: it hasnt even turned 12 yet :( 

ml <3: Gurl 

You: men used to go to the war

You: now they have sass competitions w/ their girlfriends 😒

ml <3: Lolll 

ml <3: That’s not funny

You: why are you loling then old man

ml <3:: Hey! I’m not that old

You: well

You: u JUST turned 31 

You: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYYY I LOVE YOU

You: I wish I can see you :( 

ml <3: Hahaha thank youuuu!

ml <3: I love you beautiful 

ml <3: I can't wait to land I miss my pretty girlfriend 

You: stawppp blushes like a slut

ml <3: ??? Excuse me! 

ml <3: Proof? Send picture

You: u nasty

You: are u into that degrading shit

ml <3: I mean

ml <3: I don’t mind it 

ml <3: If you like it then I do and if you don't then it’s okay. Either way I am happy as long as you’re content baby!

You: stop why’d u take that so srsly i was joking

You: is this the perks of turning 31

ml <3: Ugh 🙄

ml <3: You always do this!

You: ugh ure so cute i cant believe ure 21

You: 31* oops

ml <3: Are you shaming me for growing now?

You: no i love u

ml <3: You* 

You: i have a surprise for u

You: i cant wait for u to land 

ml <3: YOU HAVE A SURPRISE FOR ME??? 😇

You: yeahahh 

ml <3: What is it

ml <3: Please show me Please Pleaseeeeee

You: its a surprise i cant :( when u get home i swear!

ml <3: Did you get me condoms? 

You: pardon me!

You: when have i ever gotten you condoms for ur birthday

ml <3: 😏

You: get that skunky face off my screen

ml <3: 😒

You: LMAO 

ml <3: Tell me!

You: i cant baby that will ruin the surprise 

ml <3: Are you like… 

You: ??? am i what

ml <3: did you actually get me condoms

You: why do u keep bringing up the condoms is it on ur birthday wishlist or something

ml <3: It’s not a bad present 

You: DREW. 

ml <3: Can we fuck when I get back

You: oh

ml <3: Ugh I miss you

ml <3: Jus’ thought about fucking you and now I’m horny

You: are u like

ml <3: Am I what baby

You: are u trolling ahaha is this a joke

ml <3: …

You: drew omff

You: why would you say that

ml <3: Sorry baby

ml <3: Fuck I miss your lips

You: which ones

You: i take that back please dont answer

ml <3: Both

ml <3: Can we have birthday sex please

You: hello??? where did that come from

ml <3:: Sorry I’m horny

ml <3: Do you think it feels different from normal sex

You: well if i had to guess it would probably be more thrilling, maybe?

ml <3: We should test out that theory

ml <3: Verify whether it’s true 

You: shush omg

You: u suck

ml <3: My dick

ml <3: can you suck my dick when I’m back

You: omg shut up

ml <3: Is that a no? :( 

You: yeah… ur 31!!! too old 4 me

ml <3: Nah you're right I could be your father

You: k its not that bad

You: it’s only 4 years

ml <3: 6*

ml <3: actually

ml <3: 7 now what the fuck

You: STOPP 

You: ure so cute please marry me 

ml <3: Lol 

ml <3: I’m horny

You: drew omg

ml <3: Should I rub one out in the plane bathroom?

You: 🤦‍♀️

You: just wait until ure back 

ml <3: Wait

ml <3: WAIT AXTUALLY? 

You: WHAT

ml <3: ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS

ml <3: Omg I am so Excited 

You: loser 

ml <3: So, birthday sex yeah?

You: i hate you

ml <3: i love you too baby 

[sunnysoulzz]

Virgin!rodrick x f!reader

Hello! So I started this in like October, and now it’s new years so- whoops 😭 sorry @chihir0-l0vely

Warnings: virgin!Rodrick x f!reader, basically porn no plot oops, reader rides rodrick 😳, also reader is doing most of the work cause rodrick is noob to sex lmao

You got to rodricks house at around 9pm. Rodrick had invited you over to spend the night, and who were you to decline? You knocked on his door, he quickly opened it. He smiled at you and grabbed your hand, pulling you inside. His parents weren’t home, just like he told you. He basically dragged you upstairs to his room.

He pulled you onto his bed, kissing you. You giggled lightly as you straddled him. “Someone’s excited” your hands moved to his neck. “I’ve been wanting to see you all day” his hands rested on your waist. You kissed him again, the kiss quickly turned hungry. Your hand slid under his shirt, you felt the way he tensed up under you, his hands remained on your hips. You could feel his growing erection. He looked up at you with half lidded eyes.

Your hand moved down, teasing along the waistline of his pants before resting on his crotch. He bit his lip as he inhaled sharply. You rubbed him though his jeans, his head rested in the crook of your neck. You slowly opened his fly. His hand moved to grab your wrist. His ears turned red as a light blush coated his face. “I haven’t..uh..” he mumbled. You looked at him, giggling slightly, “I know”.

It didn’t take long for both of you to get undressed. He couldn’t help but stare at your body, completely mesmerised as you adjusted your position on top of him. Your hands ran over your body, over your breasts to your waist to your pussy, his eyes followed. His hands moved to your thighs, he let out a shaky breath.

Your hands moved to his cock, rubbing him up and down. Rodrick threw his head back, one of his hands moving to hold your wrist. “You ready?” You licked your lips. He nodded. You moved over and grabbed a condom from your bag, you put it on him as he watched excitedly (always use protection 😌).

You moved closer to him, aligning his cock with your entrance before sinking down on him, you both moaned. He held your hips in place for a second, getting used to the feeling of you wrapped around him.

It didn’t take him long to grip your hips and start moving you up and down. You held onto his shoulders for support. Rodrick leaned back, angling his hips more. You didn’t even have to move, he was so excited about fucking you he gladly did all the work. The feeling of you made him feel high, he was so happy that his first time was with you, even though he didn’t know what he was doing.

It didn’t take long for him to feel that coil in his stomach tightening. He knew he was close. Rodrick felt slightly embarrassed that he hadn’t lasted longer. “Fuck- I’m gonna-“ he moaned out. You moved forward, putting your hands next to his head as you kissed him. It was messy, you both were desperate. Your hand moved down, rubbing circles into your clit, pushing yourself over the edge.

He held your hips against his, his head was thrown back, and your eyes were heavy. Your fingers stopped as you came with him. He held inside you for a few seconds as he caught his breath. His arms flopped to his sides as you moved down, laying on his chest and listening to his heart beat.

—

This sucked wow- I’m so sorry I made you guys wait that long for this 😭 I honestly don’t think rodricks first time was anything like this- he definitely had an awkward first time lmaoooo bro probably came as soon as he was inside BAHAHA- anyway, again, I’m sorry but I hope this was at least slightly enjoyable. Also thank you to my proofreader @luntothemoon you are a life saver 🙏

@chihir0-l0vely @loeybby33

[escapisttt]

a lot of this was supposed to be posted for redacted kinktober but. college got in the way. i’m ovulating let me have this. it’s very long OOPS WHO LET ME OUT OF MY CAGE.

NSFW LMAO

lasko has a puppy kink. he likes being told he’s a good boy and craves to be of service to dear. would do anything to please them and do it well; it’s what turns him on the most. leash and collar. god, he’d lick the fucking dirt from their shoes if it made them smile down at him. yeah perhaps him and ash could bond over this. the difference between them though is that during those moments, lasko will never goof off or make jokes meanwhile ash is a bit of a brat. lasko would never disobey dear, but ash likes to push baabe’s buttons so that they “force” him into submission.

milo uses “good girl/good boy/good pet” hnnnngghh. as well as “pretty girl/pretty boy/pretty thing” oh my god. he’s so good at praise.

milo is usually pretty physically rough with it, going fast and deep, but you wouldn’t know that if you were just listening to his voice. sometimes while he’s absolutely fucking sweetheart’s brains out, he’s right in their ear speaking so softly and encouragingly with soooo much praise. “that’s right baby, ‘m i doin’ it right?” when he KNOWS he’s doing it right, he just wants to hear their confirmation. “yeah, lemme touch you, you like that? tell me you like that.” he looooves making sweetheart tell him how they’re feeling, and when they inevitably confirm that it feels good, he nods and doubles down. he craves good feedback, it’s his praise kink. “awwww i know it feels good baby, ‘m gonna make it feel even better.” it’s not condescending, it’s confidence. he knows what he’s good at, and he wants to get better. he’s a huge pleaser.

this is self indulgent if you aren’t into daddy kinks don’t read this one lmao. but daddy milo is soooo real to me. “was that too much? aw ‘m sorry baby, daddy’ll make it feel better. shh shh it’s okay, daddy’s sorry…” OUUUGGHHHH. “daddy wants what you want baby, tell‘im what you want. c’mon, be good and use your words, daddy wants to hear you,” i can’t do this anymore RELEASEEE MEEEEEEE. milo does it tastefully okay he’s not one of the weird ones TRUST ME.

milo who subs occasionally. to put a number on it, about 10% of the time. it may not be his natural default, but when the time is right, it’s so right. it happens one of two ways: either milo had a really rough, tiring day and needs to be coaxed into being cared for, or his sweetheart had been relentlessly teasing him. he’s such a brat at first, rejecting every dominant advance from sweetheart with a performative cocky demeanor, but it breaks down quickly enough when they touch him in the right places.

porter is such a masochist, but not in a traditionally submissive way. god, he loves when treasure slaps his face, yanks his hair, and scratches his back deeply on purpose. he likes being choked a little sometimes as well. but when all of these things are enacted on him, he smiles. he’s got a cocky grin and he’s nodding emphatically, his hips pistoning, almost twitching, even if he’s not inside of treasure. he’s groaning and his eyes are rolling back, but he’s not submitting. he’s daring them to do more, knowing that the only one whose limits being tested are theirs: how much are they able to take of porter when he’s losing himself to the pain? the more intense the pain, the harder he fucks treasure. basically porter is saying without saying, “the more you hurt me, the more i’ll pleasure you.” treasure essentially controls their own pleasure through him; if they want him to go faster, they dig their nails into his back or his scalp or his hips. and as soon as they let go, he lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and eases back down to a slower pace. and porter knows what they’re doing. he likes it. he likes that they have that level of control over him, but he’s absolutely not a whimpering mess like lasko.

david does not like using toys or bondage material. that’s his job. he’s very animalistic in the sense that he does not want anything, even objects, interfering with his time with his mate. he’s the type to get jealous of a vibrator or any sex toy. not because he’s worried about it doing a better job than him, but because it was the thing pleasuring his mate and not him. if his angel is in the mood, he wants to know so he can take care of it. an unspoken rule in the shaw house is that neither of them are allowed to touch themselves. david sticks to this rule through and through, but if angel is caught in the action, the punishment is pretty intense, meaning overstimulation. david is usually quite rough and is already a lot to take even when he’s going slow, so him when he’s angry can be… a lot. he’s got angel on their tummy in the prone bone position and is absolutely laying into them, growling in their ear with genuine irritation. “you should’ve told me… why didn’t you tell me? is this not cutting it for you? you had enough of this cock? i thought you liked it. thought you liked being full of me, not a piece of fucking plastic.” yeah he’s angy. and he’s not being mean to them, he just wants to prove to them and remind them how good he makes them feel. they shouldn’t want anything else. and when angel does it because they think david is too busy for them? yeah he would stay up during all hours of the night to prove them wrong. “how do you think like that, hm? you think i’d put work above this? god angel, i do everything to come home to you, give my time to you. you don’t get that? let me keep showin’ you….”

azmidi who literally nuts on a lot of phone call role plays with sweetie (it’s canon yall hear the way his breath shakes all the time). just hearing their pretty voice, god he feels his pants getting tighter (if he wears those lol). he demands they tell him about their day even though they know he knows exactly how their day went. it feeds into that delicious fear of stalking, the idea that their every movement is being tracked and scrutinized and constantly mulled over. he wants to listen to them talk while he palms himself, nodding along with their version of events, happy that they’re being obedient and not lying to him. he doesn’t have to take himself out of his pants, though he likes to most times. he can come without that, just dry humping into his hand and pressing the phone to his ear, letting out the occasional moan. he knows sweetie can hear him, and if they show signs of getting flustered, it only makes him harder. “you know what you’re doing to me, right? you—you know… oh god…. hey, don’t stop. don’t stop talking. you’ve been doing such a good job, sweetie. let me hear you.”

william “eye contact” solaire. hngggnhnnhg. let’s imagine he’s got a long term partner, right? he is suuuuuuch a gentle lover. he’s not about rough sex very much, he’s too sophisticated lol. no, the actual reason he isn’t too keen on rough sex is because to him, his lover is a deity; an angel that walks the earth, the image of divine perfection. he isn’t going to treat them like a ragdoll, he worships the air they breathe for gods sake. he doesn’t see himself nearly worthy enough to be their companion, their equal. he gives them everything and then apologizes because it just isn’t enough. when he gave them their crown? “i hope you like it. the jewels are the finest i could find of course, for you. i—i perhaps could have gotten larger ones… i apologize. oh, but the weight may be a bit much for your neck… oh dear.” yeah this man is rich but he fucking won’t be if his partner doesn’t stop him from spoiling them. but i’m ranting, this is supposed to be about sex lmfao please ask me to make a post ab william i will do it so fast. this aspect of himself shows especially when he and his partner are intimate. he’s on his knees a lot of the time, staring up at his lover with worshipful reverence. he pleads in his soft spoken voice, his eyes fluttering shut as they put their hand on his cheek. “my love, what would you have me do for you? ask me anything.” and he means anything.

[hxsbeens]

comfort.

pairing(s): Angel Dust x gn!reader

fic contents/warnings: probably ooc Angel, reverse comfort, i rushed the ending because i didn’t know where to go from there oops, mentions of abuse and a brief mention or two about sex, Angel’s hurt

authors note: woo first work on here :D it’s alright i guess, i haven’t properly written since like september lmao. also not proofread, although my mother did read the first few paragraphs and saw a few errors so thank you mom 🫶🏽

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

your head was just about to hit the pillow when the door creaked open, making your head snap towards it amidst the darkness of the room. the clacking of heels signaled one’s entrance. they were careful, attempting to stay quiet as they navigated their way through the darkness.

of course, you knew who they belonged to—especially when you heard the quiet hiss followed by a hushed curse.

“Angel?”

the sound of your voice caused a suspension in those very same footsteps. you heard another silent “fuck” as the owner of the voice slowly turned to you.

“i-i’m sorry, sugar,” ANGEL DUST apologetically stammered, tightening the pink, fluffed out robe around his slender form. “i didn’t wake ya, did i? what’re you doin’ up so late?”

you slowly sat up, squinting your eyes in an attempt to see him through the dark room. “no…no, i was just about to head to sleep, actually.” you reach over towards the nightstand and turned on the web-patterned lamp, now able to get a better look at your better half. the very moment the room was lit to that extent, the spider instantly tensed and clutched his robe tighter to his fluff, blinking narrowed eyes to adjust them to the sudden lighting. from where he stood, you could easily see the parts of him he tried to conceal, for your sake.

one of his eyes were starting to bruise—though, from where you sat, it was difficult to tell whether or not it was already there. there’s a dark blue circle on his neck, one that connects to the curve of his shoulder. you couldn’t tell if it was a bruise or hickey. there were probably more, but the silk wrapped around his body covered what you couldn’t see.

your eyes didn’t linger long—you made sure they didn’t. you knew he’d hate it if you stared at him while he looked so - was so vulnerable.

instead, you lightly tossed the covers off you, throwing your legs off the side of the mattress. you and Angel looked at each other, and, silently, you extended your arms expectantly. he gave you a skeptical look. “what’re ya gettin’ at?” he inquired, and you could hear the hoarseness in his voice. it must’ve been a rough night for him…obviously.

“is it so bad that i just want to hug you right now?” you watched as he took in a breath — almost like he wanted to say something smart in return, something filled with his usual sass and wit. but he didn’t.

his fingers tightened around the fluff of his robe, and, with small, reluctant steps, Angel Dust dragged himself over to you, suddenly feeling a lot heavier than he did when he first got back.

once he stood between your arms and legs, he looked down at you, his forehead creasing with the furrow of his eyebrows. you could see the tears gathering at his bottom eyelids, even if he did try to blink them away before they became noticeable.

you were taken slightly aback when he dropped to his knees, having to spread them on the floor a bit so he was able to shove the crown of his head into your stomach. it didn’t take long for you to cradle his head, soothingly running your fingers through his fur. in kin, his upper arms wrapped around you, the ones lower reaching up to grasp your wrists. his touch desperate.

“we don’t have to talk about it, sweetie,” you whispered, feeling his upper shoulders shake slightly as he took in a sharp, trembling intake of breath. “we can just…sit here. until you’re ready for bed.”

he sobbed quietly in your arms. “im tired, [nickname].”

“i know, baby.”

“why’s it always have to be me he plays with? why can’t i ever get a break? it’s- it’s like he knows to only call me in when i’m finally fine!”

“i know.”

“why does-“

you silence him by cupping his face, lifting his head to look at you. his fur was getting wet with his tears, and his makeup ran with the streaks. he hiccuped, tensing for a moment. he was still so, so unused to the gentle treatment, especially after such a night.

you don’t say anything. you just stroke his cheeks, your thumbs running over the pink freckles over his white cheeks as you looked at each other. you smile as he slowly leaned into your touch, closing his eyes as he tried to savor the feeling of comfort once more. your hands were so warm, so familiar. they almost instantly brought him back from his head.

you pull him back in, and he holds you tighter, desperate — but in a different font of it.

“An-..” you pause, looking down at him carefully. this wasn’t Angel Dust with you, not right now, and you knew that. “Anthony?”

he’s silent. but his hoarse voice sounds from where his head is, his voice slightly muffled.

“..yeah?”

“i love you.”

…

“i… i love you, too, [name].”

you both sat like that for a moment; you holding and comforting him, and him embracing the affection without any comments. he wasn’t tense anymore, relaxing fully in your entrusted hold on both him, and his beaten heart. you knew he trusted you. and he knew it all the same. it was hard for him to believe, and even grasp the reality of at first, but he…sort of came to terms with it.

“i just don’t understand how someone like you could love someone as broken as me.” he once told you. and you had no doubt that he was thinking it again, right in this very moment.

you didn’t say anything about it. you wouldn’t want to bring him down again after getting him calm.

instead, you proposed, “how about we go shower? you smell like sex, and i just got these sheets washed. i don’t want our bed smelling like an asshole.”

Angel let out a little laugh at your words, finding your own distaste (or, hatred, more specifically) for his “boss” amusing. “only if you join me,” he replied, looking up at you with a smile. you smiled back. “of course. i’d be stupid not to.”

“damn right, you would.”

you laughed, and he looked at you with a love-stricken gaze. one of which you returned.

he would be alright - he knew it.

and he had you to thank for it.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

[lucvly]

hii !! can u make a story of reader walking into matt’s room while he’s streaming n kisses him not knowing he’s streaming ? IDK IF YOU’VE ALR DONE SMTH LIKE THIS BUT

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, BEAUTIFUL PROBLEMS. ( matt sturniolo. )

warnings › fluff, gamer matt lmao, use of y/n, NOT PROOFREAD.

author’s note › I LOVE THIS REQ AW. also i’m still trying out formats for my posts so ignore if every single one looks different oops. lowkey also got a little carried away w this one Sorry...

› all that could be heard from matt’s headphones were the sounds that his game elicited, while also occasionally hearing some of the chat notifications that appeared on one of the screens of the setup.

his headphones were very soundproof, just to help him focus on his game a bit more. this was one of the rare occasions he decided to stream, just because he hadn’t in a while and because chris brought up the idea of revisiting the concept. he agreed, and it turned out to be an amazing idea– a lot of people, more than usual, were in the stream watching matt and chris play.

their cameras were on, the green light on matt’s pc indicating the live was ongoing and that his camera was on, showing a smiley yet concentrated matt who was biting down on his bottom lip unconsciously, raising his voice at chris for something fortnite related you couldn’t quite understand– all you heard was a loud noise coming from his room as you walked through the door.

you furrowed your brows, dropping your keys on the counter of the kitchen before also setting down your purse and making your way to the room matt was currently playing in. you were so occupied running errands for the day all you wanted to do was get home to your boyfriend and his embrace.

the thought of him holding you in his arms is what kept you entertained all day, up until this moment when you mindlessly knocked softly on the door despite it being the slightest bit open, only enough for some light to come through but not enough to see what was going on.

no answer.

you thought nothing of it, pushing the door open with a small, tired sigh as you kicked your shoes off, a gentle smile appearing on your face at the sight of your boyfriend sat up playing on his computer, which wasn’t unusual. you assumed his headphones were what deafened the knocks to him.

matt was still concentrated on the game, commenting something to chris about helping him about because he was getting attacked, the noise coming from the keyboard echoing throughout the entirety of the room.

being so wrapped up in the game with his brother, he hadn’t even noticed your presence in the room, even when your shoes made a fairly loud noise, and you throwing your jacket on the lounge chair as you entered could’ve also been a dead giveaway, though you thought nothing much of it– he was always playing with his brother, and you could very faintly hear chris’s voice echoing from his headphones.

you made your way over to him, whispering a soft “hi baby,” then pressing a kiss to his cheek, not really wanting to interrupt his game, your plans were to simply take a quick shower before he could even finish the game so you could lay down with him after the long day that you had to endure, but all that quickly got shut down as matt instantly looked up at you.

“hi, we’re–” he started to speak, unsure of what to do, already hearing the blast of messages that were being sent through the chat. he mentally face palmed for not telling you he was planning on streaming today– it had completely slipped his mind, and he was about to pay the price.

it wasn’t like he didn’t want you in his public life, he would love for that to happen. he wanted to show you off and tell everyone that he was in a happy relationship with the love of his life– and he had been for a while, and that they knew nothing of it.

though there was already an incredible amount of situationship allegations and speculation surrounding the two of you– nothing was ever confirmed or denied, so people were really unsure of what your status was. you were never really seen publicly with matt, both of you deciding that would be the smartest decision you could probably make for the sake of your relationship’s privacy. there were a few leaked photos of you hanging out together at influencer parties, but nothing that were to give out any hints regarding your relationship.

“hey chris.” you waved casually to the camera, seeing chris’s face onscreen. though he seemed, odd. a smirk was on his lips as he attempted to hold in a laugh while he shook his head slowly, showing disappointment towards matt.

matt cleared his throat, his gaze making its way back up at you. “we’re– uh, streaming.” he let out a small chuckle.

your heart dropped, your face immediately showing off your sense of panic as you stepped back from the frame, no longer being visible to the camera, your mouth opening as if you were to speak but no words were coming out, except a frantic, yet soft “oh.”

matt chuckled once again. this definitely wasn’t the way he wanted to do it, but oh well, the opportunity already presented itself, so why not take advantage of it?

he pulled you back into frame, guiding you to sit on his lap so you were both visible to the camera now. his hands were on your hips, though that wasn’t visible to the camera, it was more of an act of reassurance towards you, trying to give an unspoken hint that it was okay.

“well, this is my beautiful girlfriend, y/n.” he spoke in a joyous tone, a small smile creeping onto his lips as he looked at you with a certain look that was everything the chat was talking about, getting bombarded with comments along the lines of “OH MY GOD??” “THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER :((” “BRB SOBBING.”

“and you already know my boyfriend matt.” you let out the softest laugh. you were definitely nervous, but turning slightly and looking into matt’s eyes, you were sure you were going to be fine, that it was okay.

the chat confirmed your suspicions, surprisingly everyone was being incredibly normal, gushing over the two of you. there were people already asking for couples content, and some others just telling you they were jealous in the nicest way possible.

“i can’t believe nick missed this.” chris finally intervened with a loud laugh. “kid would’ve had a field day with this one.”

you immediately turned to look at your boyfriend who was already staring at you in slight disbelief at your calm reaction to all of this, while still processing the fact that you just hard launched your relationship on a fortnite stream with his brother.

“can you kick someone off a stream?” you joked, trying to hold back the laugh that was threatening to leave your lips.

[scratchandfriends]

Shut Me Up (+18)

This is my formal application to join the Holy Rolan Empire. Who do I need to talk to about this?

Pairing: Rolan x Female Tav (human sorceress in mind because that’s my tav lmao)

WC: 3000 oops

Summary: All you do is save the day and yap. It drives Rolan up a fucking wall. He absolutely cannot stand you… or so he is trying to convince himself. This would be so much easier for him if you weren’t so damn cute. 

Content Warnings: alcohol consumption, angry sex, face fucking, teasing, oral m receiving, unprotected sex (don't), creampies, making out, aggressive kissing, hair pulling, PRAISE KINK GOOD BOY ROLAN (because somebody needs to tell him), he just has a big fat crush on you.

— — 

First, it was killing the goblins attacking the grove. 

Then, it was defending Last Light from the cultists. 

Then, it was rescuing the gnomes and tieflings from Moonrise Towers. 

And on top of all that, you just had to save his sorry tail from the Shadow Curse. 

Jaheira had given the go-ahead to dip into the extra supplies for a bit of fun to increase morale and celebrate the safe return of the captives… and of course, much to Rolan’s dismay, you were the belle of the ball. Even his own damn siblings were fawning of you and your rowdy companions, but he let his annoyance lie since you did save their lives after all. 

He should be grateful, shouldn’t he? You brought his family back together and saved many more from death or a lifetime of grief. You kept Last Light safe from the Shadow Curse and were planning on defeating Ketheric and the Absolute yourself. Your heroics were not lost on him, and judging by your behavior here at the party, they were not lost on you either. 

Rolan sat at the bar nursing another bottle of wine alone as he watched you with a scowl. You had discarded your usual robes for a glittering, light-blue party dress, no doubt stolen, Rolan thought. You danced energetically with that massive, brutish tiefling woman, both of you spilling wine all over yourselves and the floor. Your long, blueish silver hair cascaded down past your shoulders and just kissed the exposed skin above your lower back, the milky skin shown by your backless dress peeking out at him as your hair moved when you danced. 

“Enjoying the show, brother?” Cal’s teasing voice comes from behind Rolan’s barstool. 

“We could be killed at any moment, hardly a time for anyone to be enjoying anything.” Rolan remarked as he straightened his back and his eyes were peeled away from you. 

“Always such a stick in the mud. Would it kill you to have fun for once?” Lia appeared on the opposite side of Rolan and rolled her eyes. 

“In this situation? Perhaps. Someone should be aware of their surroundings at a time like this.” Rolan quips. 

“Judging by how much of that bottle you’ve drained, I wouldn’t say you’re entirely aware.” Cal says. 

“I have to tolerate the company somehow.” Rolan snorts and takes another sip. 

“Well I’d practice your manners, your favorite little sorceress is coming this way now.” Lia says with a smirk. 

“Come on, we’re missing you all on the dance floor! I’ve tipped Alfira greatly, I think my favorite song is coming up soon!” You sidle up to the bar across from the tieflings and put your elbows on the bar top. “Missing even you, grumpy.” You flash Rolan a cheeky smile. 

“I’m perfectly content here. Drunkenly frolicking like an imbecile isn’t relevant to my interests.” The wizard snips at you with a frown. 

“Aaah, I see! Makes sense. So you won’t be needing this anymore, then.” You say as you snatch Rolan’s bottle of wine off the counter in front of him and take a heavy swig. 

“Give that back.” Rolan says with a slight snarl, baring pointed teeth. Rolan reaches an arm out across the bar to grasp towards his stolen bottle. 

“Oh, this? You want it back?” You say with a giggle before taking another sip from the neck of the bottle. You smile and take the opportunity to wedge the bottle down the front of your dress, lodging it tightly between your ample, exposed cleavage. “Why don’t you take it?” You ask with a devilish grin. 

“Go on, then!” Cal goads with a laugh, slapping his brother on the back. 

“Hmph. Keep it.” Rolan sits back on his barstool, feigning disinterest in your antics. “I’ll just have the kids bring me another.” 

You sigh and pull the bottle from your chest. You lean onto the bar, pushing your breasts together in the process. It doesn’t escape you how Rolan’s eyes are glued to your tits resting on the countertop. 

“You’re no fun.” You lean in close to him and whisper in a sultry tone. 

You take your stolen bottle of wine and return to your friends who were still reveling in Alfira’s lute playing. 

“What in the hells did you say to the cranky bastard?” Karlach asks while pulling your hand and spinning you around in a twirl. 

“What do you mean?” You inquire with a bit of a smirk. 

“The poor sod’s tail is twitching! No doubt something else is too. You flash him or something?” Your large friend questions. 

“Almost!” You laugh. “Just trying to see if I can get him to crack… he’s quite handsome!” 

“Try complimenting his horns, male tieflings really like that. They pride themselves on those things almost more than their cocks.” Karlach adds. 

“Hmm… good to know…” You say as the intrusive thought of Rolan’s cock enters your mind. You’d never laid with a tiefling before and you were desperately curious. Something about this wizard’s unfriendly, pompous nature intrigued you and you wanted to see what was underneath his prickly exterior. You always liked a challenge. 

— —

Another hour or so of partying goes by and you find yourself both sufficiently drunk and sufficiently bored. You sneak a glance at the bar and find Rolan standing behind it, rummaging through the shelves no doubt searching for more booze. You slink up next to him and try to peek into the cabinet he’s looking through. 

“Need help?” You pipe up. 

“Agh!” In surprise at your sudden appearance, Rolan knocks his head on the wooden cabinet door. 

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to startle you!” You giggle and put your fingers to your lips. “Don’t want you hurting those horns of yours. They’re quite the handsome pair, you know. Best of anyone here-“ 

Rolan slams the cabinet door shut and turns to look down at your shorter figure. 

“What the hells is your problem?” Rolan seethes. “Every second of peace I have is somehow disturbed by YOU each time! You are positively infuriating!” 

“I’m just trying to be pleasant, Rolan.” You remark. 

“I am not interested in pleasantries. I’ve given you plenty of gold, I don’t know what other gratitude you want from me.” Rolan says, frustrated and annoyed. 

“Well…” You purr. “Just as you’re not interested in pleasantries, I’m not interested in gold.” You slowly move closer, your chests almost touching. You expected him to push you away, but surprisingly enough he stands in place. “Perhaps you can thank me in a different way…” You cock your head to the side flirtatiously and raise an eyebrow. 

You see Rolan’s Adam’s apple bob nervously. 

“Tav.. I.. ” He stutters. You cut him off. 

“If for whatever reason you find yourself unable to sleep tonight, I’ll be in room 104. Upstairs. Alone.. and my bed is always warm.” You wink before slinking off to the stairwell leading to the inn’s guest rooms. 

— — 

You had swapped your party dress for a short, white nightgown with lace trim and slits high up on either hip. You sat on the feather bed, brushing through your hair that had gotten tangled from the night of revelry. You had made sure to freshen up your perfume in the hopes that Rolan would take you up on your lewd offer of late night companionship. 

*knock knock*

You smirk at the gentle knock on your door. You waltz excitedly over to the door and open it. 

Sure enough, Rolan was standing in your doorframe. 

“I was hoping you’d-“

Your snarky comment was abruptly cut off by a clawed hand gripping the side of your head, tangling in your hair, while the other hand forcefully grabbing your waist to spin you around. The door slammed behind you and you were pushed against it roughly. 

Rolan pulls you by your scalp and smashes his lips on yours. 

There was no grace or eloquence in the kiss, much unlike his usual way of speaking. It was a gnashing of wet tongue and clacking of teeth as he ravaged your mouth, his grip on you never faltering. You froze at first, shocked by his boldness, but eventually you relent and open your lips further for him. You wrap your hands around his neck. 

Having had his fill from your lips, Rolan eventually moves his mouth to trail messy kisses and sharp nips from your jaw to your neck. 

“Wow, eager are-“

“Do you ever shut UP?” Rolan pulls back from your neck and growls, shoving his knee between your legs further, causing you to instinctively grind your bare sex onto his trousers. He brings his hand from your hair to grip your neck. 

“You’ll just have to shut me up, then.” You choke out with a smile, his clawed hand around your throat gently squeezing the sides. 

“It would seem so.” Rolan’s nostrils flare and he picks you up and tosses you on the bed with surprising strength for a wizard. 

You strip your nightgown over your head excitedly and lay back on the bed in as seductive of a pose as you could muster. Expecting to be either insulted or pounced upon, you sit up on your elbows in anticipation. Surprisingly, Rolan was standing at the foot of the bed, mouth agape, seemingly entranced by your nude figure laid before him. You take this opportunity to shift the tides in your favor. 

“What’s wrong, Rolan?” You say as you slowly spread your legs, exposing your swollen, dripping cunt to him. “Hellcat got your tongue?” 

This snapped him out of his daze. 

“Brat.” He scoffs before frantically shedding his own clothing. 

As he strips, you sit up on your knees on the bed so you can get a better look at your new lover. Geometric infernal ridges covered his chest and abdomen, almost guiding your eyes downward to his erect cock bobbing desperately in front of you. It was long and bright red, leaking tip more pointed than you were used to, but its most unusual feature were the prominent ridges decorating his shaft. You were dying to know how it felt in your hand… your mouth… your cunt… 

“Stop gawking, it’s not polite” Rolan says, less aggressive now than he previously was now that he was stark naked in front of you. Was he blushing? It was hard to tell. 

“How pretty you are… you have to let me play with it.” You purr as you lower yourself on your elbows, pushing your ass high in the air, wiggling it and successfully distracting Rolan from your advances towards his member. 

“Play? Is that how- shit!” Rolan gasps and curses as he feels you wrap your soft hand around his cock and stroke it slowly. 

You loll your tongue out of your mouth and place his hot tip on it, all while staring up at him lustfully. Rolan lets out a low growl and bucks his hips into your face, pushing his cock past your lips and into your eager mouth. You happily wrap your lips around his cock head and begin to slide up and down his ribbed length. His hand comes up to pull your hair into a makeshift ponytail and guides you along his cock. Drool pools in your mouth and dribbles out the sides and you groan in approval of his roughness. 

“Ah ah, no talking with your mouth full.” He smirks playfully down at you. 

You try to reciprocate the smile, but can’t manage much do to your mouth being forcefully stuffed full of cock. Rolan must have noticed they way your thighs were tensed and rubbed together impatiently. 

“Touch yourself. Get yourself ready to take me.” He commands. 

You spread your knees and bring one of your hands down your front to play with your wet sex. Supporting yourself on one hand, you circle your clit in time with your sultry bobs on Rolan’s cock. You slide two fingers into your soaking hole and moan around his length. You continue to work yourself up, pushing and pulling on that special spot inside of you, whimpering and sharply inhaling as you slobber all over Rolan. 

“What a sight… Gods, such a messy girl…” 

You nod happily, not removing him from your mouth. You can’t help but notice as the rough grip on your hair becomes… softer. His thumb began rubbing against your head soothingly, as if to gently encourage you to suck him off instead of demanding it. 

“That’s enough, I'm going to have you now.” He says as he cups your chin and pulls you off him, a long string of saliva still connecting the two of you. You eagerly push yourself onto your back and spread your legs wide to make room for him. 

Rolan climbs over you and teases your clit with the tip of his cock. 

“Pretty little thing you are…” He says as his eyes rake over your body. 

“Be careful, wizard, that almost sounded like a compliment.” You chide and buck your hips up into him, wordlessly pleading for him to penetrate you. 

“I would tell you to hush…” He positions himself at your entrance. “But I think now I’d like to hear every little sound that comes from those sinful lips…” 

Rolan presses into you finally and you gasp at the ridged intrusion, unlike anyone else you’ve ever laid with. You arch your back and rake your hands down the infernal ridges on his abdomen. Once you feel his hips flush with yours, you look up and see the wizards eyes screwed shut in concentration, clearly trying not to let this moment end too soon. 

You grind your pelvis into his, beckoning him to start moving inside you. 

“Nine Hells… so fucking wet…” Rolan remarks with a sigh as he starts thrusting shallowly. He grips your breasts as leverage, teasing your nipples with his thumbs. You wrap your legs around his hips, encouraging him to fuck you deeper. 

“Gods Rolan, you feel so good…” You moan out to the ceiling. 

“Y-yeah?” Rolan asks as he picks up the pace and intensity of his thrusts. 

“Yes! Fuck! You’re so good!” You cry out in pleasure as you feel those gorgeous bumps along his shaft caress your walls so deliciously. 

“I-I’m good? Say it again..” He asks shyly. “Please tell me again…” 

Suddenly, you feel his tail wrap tightly around your leg, squeezing it possessively. It was like he was holding on for his life...

“You’re so fucking good Rolan. Your cock feels so perfect inside me. Fuck me harder, you’re going to make me cum…” You feel his cock inside you twitch and you could have sworn you heard him whimper. He obliges your request and pistons his hips into you harder. You feel the familiar warmth of your impending release tingle throughout your lower half. 

Rolan slinks an arm underneath your lower back, leaning over you further in the process and cards his other hand into your hair splayed out on the pillow beneath you. 

“I’m so close, please Rolan, you’re such a good boy. I want to cum on you. Fuck, there!” You moan and pant up at him as you bring your hand up to cradle his face in your palm. You could barely keep your eyes open, but the sight above you was too delectable to miss. 

“I-I am a good boy.. please cum for me…” Rolan pathetically whines and pleads to feel your release coat him. 

“Yes Rolan, my good boy… I’m- shit!” You cry out and feel your walls begin to convulse in anticipation of your climax. With the next thrust against your sweet spot, your dam breaks and you let out a vulgar moan as your orgasm overtakes your body. 

“Fuck, yes, your good boy!” Rolan pants and fucks you through your high. “I-I’m close.. where should-?” 

“Inside. Make me yours.” You say breathlessly, still delirious from your powerful climax.  

Rolan could no longer hold back, groaning loudly as he spills himself entirely deep inside of you. He grinds himself into you as he continues to cum, seemingly endless ropes of spend decorating your wet walls. 

Once finished, Rolan gingerly slips out of you and collapses tiredly onto the mattress beside you. 

You spent the next few minutes catching your collective breaths, nothing being exchanged but soft pets and tender touches as you calmed yourselves. You were stroking Rolan’s cheek with your thumb gently when he finally spoke. 

“Nothing to say now, then?” He smiles softly, teasing you. You return the grin.

“That was incredible.” You giggle. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Rolan.” 

“Wizards are full of surprises.” He jokes, pulling your body into his, rubbing circles into your hip. “There’s certainly more where that came from…” You notice his glowing eyes dart away from yours with uncertainty. “… If you’d have me.” 

You place a tender kiss on his lips. 

“The night is still young, isn’t it?” You nuzzle your nose against his. 

“I don’t just mean tonight.. come see me in Baldur’s Gate. I.. I can show you around, if you’d like?” He still can’t bring himself to look you in the eyes again. 

“You won’t be too busy with your apprenticeship?” You question. 

“I… I can try to make time.. if it’s for you.” He says sheepishly. 

You press your chest closer into his and tilt his chin up to meet your gaze. 

“What a good boy you are.” You smirk and pull him into a deep kiss. 

— — 

[the-fruitpunch-clown]

KINKTOBER 2024:

DAY II: car sex featuring Mike Schmidt

synopsis: mike can make you come on his face in less than five minutes, right? or mike makes you late bc he’s munch

tags: oral sex fem! receiving, mike being a needy whore basically lmao

kinktober 2024 masterlist | main masterlist

“mike, baby, you know i have somewhere to be. i don’t have time for this…” your voice trails off. mike continues to kiss along your neck, even after you’ve told him multiple times you’ll both be late for work if this goes any further. 

“c’mon babe, just five minutes, please? i’ll be quick, promise,” his light kisses continue up to your ear, whispering the words against you as his hands play with your hair. you sigh, internally reprimanding yourself for giving in so easily. “fine, but just five minutes, nothing longer. alright?” 

mike smiles at you and presses a quick kiss to your temple before eagerly fumbling over the center console to settle between your legs. unsurprisingly, there’s already enough room from your previous intimate moments shared in his car. he makes quick work with shoving your skirt up and settles his hands on your spread legs, “open up for me baby, that’s it, fuck…” 

mike leans in and leaves a chaste kiss against your panties, making you squirm against him. in return, he smacks your thigh, “quit movin’, you said you wanted this to be quick right? well sit there and be still for me.” 

right before you’re about to chide him, he shoves your panties aside and licks a long stripe up your center, flicking your clit with his tongue. he continues his assault by shoving his whole face into you, his tongue dipping lightly into your hole, and you can’t help but grind your clit against his nose. he moans into you, the vibrations going straight through you and adding to the pleasure he’s bringing you. 

mike continues to messily make out with your cunt while you moan and mewl above him. “mikey, oh fuck- please.. i need it,” you grip his hair mercilessly, pulling him deeper into you. you think you hear him mutter a muffled, “i know i know, baby, use me, fuck my face, c’mon, give me it..” but you can’t tell anyways with the ringing in your ears. 

you continuously rock your hips against his mouth, quickly chasing your orgasm. “mikey, baby.. fuck, ‘m right there, please..” you whine out. the grip you have on his hair borders on painful, but it only ceases to turn him on more. mike groans out against your cunt, “come on my face baby, do it for me, c’mon,” he fucks his tongue into you, rubbing his nose against your clit. his quick ministrations push you over edge, has you coming on his face as you moan out his name and a string of curses. 

as you slowly come down from your high, mike works you through it, lazily lapping at your release while looking up at your blissed out face. soon, his lazy strokes start to build up to overstimulation and you push against his shoulders and shove his head away, “too much, it’s too much mikey.” 

he reluctantly pulls away from you, resting his head on your head, “alright, you good?” 

you smile down at him, admiring how equally blissed he seems, “mhm.” you check the time on the clock, which reads 1:08 P.M., eight minutes past when your break ends, and ten past the end of your “five minutes”. 

“micheal!” you sit up abruptly, forcing him to lift his head. “what?” 

“you made me late, i told you five minutes!” you scold him, but you can hardly keep up the act with the adoring look he gives you. “i’m sorry, baby, i can make it up to you-“ 

“later. if i’m already gonna be late, might as well make the most of it. get in the back seat, it’s my turn to have fun.” 

notes: so the plan was to post either logantober or kinktober early in the morning (around 12am eastern, as i am on the east coast lmao) and then the other later in the day but i forgot to post this morning. oops. but logantober will be out later today!!

also no logantober for tmr, but will be back on the 4th!! kinktober will continue ofc!

all banners, dividers, and graphics are from @/saradika-graphics !!

[distant-velleity]

Just listen to your instincts and do what feels natural!

[SR Music Week] Yuhua joins the battle as a dancer and backup vocalist for Hazard/Riff! Many thanks to @raguiras2 for hosting this Music Weeks event!

Voicelines and concept sketches beneath the cut~

~

Summon: Don’t think that I’m in this to win, I’m here to have fun and do what I love. That’s fine, right?

Groovification: — LOCKED —

Set to Home Screen: A little rocking never hurt anybody, did it?

Home Transition 1: Actually, confession time, I’ve started to feel a little shy. Everyone in this group is so talented in their own way, y’know? …But I gotta keep up and pull my weight.

Home Transition 2: To think Deuce would be a leader for Hazard/Riff… Well, not what I expected, but where else would he go? It just seems right. …Sorry, just thinking out loud.

Home Transition 3: So this is what Allen looks like when he’s in his natural habitat… Ah, I’m just making some observations. I’m not trying to say anything bad, rather—the opposite of that. Like, he seems… more sincere?

Home, after login: Practice waits for no one~ I’m gonna go start warming up. Wanna join me?

Home Transition (Groovification): — LOCKED —

Tap Home 1: Eh? You didn’t think I’d ask to join this group? …Rude~ We can’t all be soft all the time. 

Tap Home 2: It’s funny to me—all you have to do here is call something a competition and—boom. Even someone like Leona’s motivated. …Oops, did he hear me say that?

Tap Home 3: Working with Floyd is a double-edged sword—when he’s having fun here, I get all excited, too. But if he’s not in the mood, then… haha, we just gotta hope and pray.

Tap Home 4: Don’t worry, I’m used to wearing loose clothing when I dance. Compared to the long pants and dresses I sometimes wore, this fit is like a breath of fresh air~

Tap Home 5: I wouldn’t touch me if I were you—I’m all sweaty and tired from rehearsal. 

Tap Home (Groovification): — LOCKED —

Duo Magic (yes I know SRs don't have them but let us dream):

YUHUA: How about we give them one hell of a show, Vizzie?

VIZZIE ( @twistedwonderlandshenanigans ): We’ll blow them away with the sound we’ve got, Yuhua!

~

ALRIIIIGHT let's get into the design of this bad boy

the idea was ... basically just a bit of techwear, modern street style, all that-- i was sort of winging it haha. i wanted a very loose and free style with the cargo pants, belts, and unzipped jacket, while the hood was added for dramatic effect when i started the lineart~

i felt like experimenting with his hair so once again i slicked back the right-hand side of his part, i would have given him his pre-overblot hair (for more variety w/ the long hair) but to be honest i kind of like the short hair with this look~ it kind of screams kpop idol but whatever HAHAHAHAHA

fishnet under clothing was an absolute must, and i went a little more on the ""bad boy"" look by giving him the chain and cuff earring on one side... plus the dramatic eyeliner/eyeshadow... yeah. RIP yuhua's lip gloss we will always miss you

also shoutout to V for volunteering vizzie for the duo magic-- i love me a good RIOFY friendship

(as for headcanons on how yuhua would act during this whole event, um-- he'll behave i promise 🥰🥰 he'll try not to let his inferiority complex get the best of him I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAAAT)

i can't think of anything else that i thought about particularly hard during the process, so uhm-- thank you for reading this far and no promises on when i'll get the groovified version out if ever LMAO

~

art taglist (ask to be added or removed, i'm very sorry if i forgot someone): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @casp1an-sea @nahelenia

@skriblee-ksk @boopshoops @scint1llat3 @nyx-of-night @nemisisnemi

@beneathsakurashade @ramcatshackle @kathxrat-01 @the-banana-0verlord

[christinarowie332]

i win.

part 2 of : “i’d be an idiot if i said no to that”

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings : vv suggestive ! drugs , swearing .

—-

matt and y/n spend some quality time with his brothers . who would break first ?

(this is kinda slow so hear me out)

green text : imessage

————-

my phone lights up vibrating from underneath my pillow . i peel my eyes away from “the vampire diaries” playing from my tv and notice the time displayed on my phone. 12:36am . jesus christ .

my eyes scan my notifications as my face id opens my phone . instagram, my group chat “whores.” (56). oops . snapchat , pinterest… oh ?

matt🤭: u up ?

(AHSHHSHDWHHENEHHEHSH)

my body shoots up from where i was lay . i frantically tuck my hair behind my ears with my free hand not holding my phone . i open the message , thumbs hovering over the keyboard ready to type before i hesitate. realising i have no idea what to say .

me: yeah i’m up ! what’s up ?

i type . then delete it .

me: hiyaaaa , yeah i’m up wanna do something??? x

nope

me: yeah i’m up . whyyy wanna hang??

good enough idc

i press send with shaking fingers , allmost immediately he replies back .

matt 🤭: you know me so well , i’ll come pick u up .

me: no bother , i’ll come over . send me ur loc

matt 🤭: i’m at mine with chris and nick , we can all hang if u want?

*matt 🤭 shared his location with you*

me: oki! shall i bring anything??

matt 🤭: just yourself and whatever u need in the morning

me: i’m staying ??😏😏😏😏

matt 🤭: 😏😏😏😏

me: OMW!!!!!

matt 🤭: LMAO OK

i smile at the message and take a screenshot immediately sending it to my groupchat giggling , throwing to the middle of my bed and getting up .

after a few touch ups to my makeup i’ve left to marinate on my face a little bit too long .i change outfit into a pair of baggy light blue jeans , that fall on my hips , uggs and a tight fitted white baby tee . i throw on a hoodie that matches my uggs before realizing it’s literally boiling and ripping it off .i grab my phone and my bag , filling it with the essentials and start to exit my house .

in what feels like 30 seconds i’m pulling into what should be matt’s house . i turn my car off and look at my self in the mirror , obsessing over every little detail until deciding i look good enough .

me: i’m here !!

me: hello ??

me: matt are u home ??

after five minutes of waiting outside the door i decide to just knock it . my heart literally racing enough to hear it in my ears . after a few seconds of waiting i hear the door unlock and the handle go down .

his face drops at the sight of me and turns his head away but not taking his eyes off me , his blonde hair falling against his eyes before he swipes it away .

“MATT ??CHRIS???”

he smiles kindly and i return it . awkward .

after a few excruciatingly painful seconds i see a familiar face poke around the corner, his long and messy hair tucked into a backwards hat . it takes him a second to realize it’s me and his face lights up as he walks towards the door .

“y/n ? yo what are u doing here ? nick bro what are u doing??” he furrows his eyebrows at his brother before opening his arms towards me .

“nice to see you too chris” i roll my eyes and meet his hug .

“OH SHIT MB YOUR y/n ?!?! COME IN FUCK SORRY!!” nick rambles out grabbing me around my back and pulling me in the house .

i take the sight on his house in , the shoes shoved thrown into the corner near the stairs. it smells like autumn, a warm candle burning somewhere. i can hear music coming from what must be the room above . smiling at the familiar beat of mac miller .

“where’s matt? SORRY !!nice to meet you nick!!” i say while smiling , and turning to nick realising i haven’t even greeted the first brother

he laughs and goes to speak before we all turn around and the sight of matt speeding around the corner and skidding to a stop .

“SORRY IVE ONLY JUST SAW YOUR TEXTS” he defends himself before i can even mention it . i smile kindly and relax my shoulders at the sight of him . his hair has been cut , brunette falling onto his forehead in loose curls. the phone he had in his hand tucked in his oversized sweats .lifting his top slightly to find the pocket , showing the band of his boxers for a split second .

“you’re fine , don’t worry” i say , before letting out a breath i didn’t even know i was holding .

matt keeps the eye contact smiling slightly before turning his head towards his brothers and looking at them . “do y’all wanna smoke up?”

“allways” chris replies for both of them before leading us all to their small balcony .

——-

it’s 2 am now , we all shared a joint around their table . chris let matt play his playlist (for once apparently) and we’re now all sat talking .

i’m sat on a bench with matt shoulder to shoulder , a blanket covering us both as the temperature dropped and we were all shivering by the time the joint was smoked .

“i don’t get it nick !! women are just confusing man…..” chris whines out , he has been talking about his girlfriend mia all night and and to be honest i stopped listening ten minutes ago . “no offense y/n/n” he says now looking at me .

i peel my eyes away from matt’s hand on my knee and meet his eyes “all good man i get it…” i don’t get it . i was completely zoned into matt’s hands , and how close he was to me that i wasn’t listening to a word chris was saying .

matt notices and puts his hands under the blanket , pulling it up to his shoulders .

“u wanna go inside matt???” i ask in concern , thinking he was cold .

“no i just got a chill , i’m fine” he says looking at me now with a tight lipped smile .

i mirror his smile and look away at chris who was waiting for us to shut up so he could carry on his rambling. he starts speaking and i keep eye contact with him , now fully listening to his words.

“as i was saying …. i just don’t get it ? taylor swift is mid as fuck , i tell mia that and she literally looks at me like i just murdered a litter of puppies , SHE HATES MY MUSIC TASTE??? i literally tried-“

and just like that i am now no longer listening to chris , as i feel matt’s hand on my knee again underneath the blanket . he strokes it slightly with his thumb and runs it up my thigh , covering it with goosebumps following his touch .

my breath hitches as he takes his hand higher , to rest on my upper thigh. leaving it there and warming it with his touch.

i glance up at him in warning but all i see is him looking straight forward at chris , smirking. little shit .

he must see my face flush in the corner of his eye because he moves his hand ever so slightly higher , his index and middle finger hovering over the seam of my jeans .

my hips move forward slightly and the touch and i gulp loudly , nodding my head at nick who’s now started speaking to me .

“what music do you listen to y/n . if u say some goofy shit like the imagine dragons i may have to throw you off this balcony” he asks me while laughing at himself .

matt apparently thinks it would be absolutely hilarious to start teasing me underneath the blanket , moving his fingers up and down the seam .

“i-um” i clear my throat trying to stay collected “i like all music really …. mac miller …” matt stops moving .

i turn my head towards him to see him smiling at me and nodding for me to carry on .

“ugh let me think” i drag my words as i move my hand on his inner thigh now i feel him flinch at the touch and go to move his hand off my thigh to stop me but i flash my head towards him and raise my eyebrow in warning .

my turn .

i mirror his actions before and take my hand higher . “i like anything really ….. mac ..torylanez…” i move my hand . he shifts .

“skies ….travis….hotel ugly….” i move my hand again over his sweats . he shifts and let’s put a huff of air .

“brent faiyaz…..dominic fike”

i move my hand again and he lets out a soft allmost silent noise . a whimper , only i hear it and i smirk .

“i like anything” i look at matt now , giving him an innocent look and shrugging my shoulders.

i remove my hand as i could feel him slowly becoming harder . and place my hand on his lower thigh , griping hard . saying exactly what i needed to.

“that’s fire as fuck…what’s ur fave skies song?” i hear chris say and i turn my head towards him .

i smirk knowing i won before continuing my conversation with chris , feeling matt sink into his seat more and putting his arm around me . manspreading and putting his palm over his crotch.

i win .

——————-

i am a vile and wretched woman .

LOVE YA !!!!

@mangosrar @sturnphilia @littlebookworm803 @lividnity @def-livv @daddyslilchickenfingers @sssturniolofart @soursturniolo @deatthmatch @biimpanicking @bluesturniolo333 @urmyslxt

^^^^

i love u all 🤍🤍🤍

[cloudcountry]

Uh baking an Apple pie with issac? Or issac with a s/o who's a fanfic writer! either one is fine! c:

SUMMARY: Isaac's been working hard lately, so you take Arthur's advice and make him a tasty treat!!

WARNINGS: None!! :D

COMMENTS: i'm trying to get back in the writing groove,,, i havent done it in so long it feels so unfamiliar ^^; thank you for requesting my apple tater!! he's the perfect start :D

this takes place before isaac and mc really know each other??? I TOOK YOUR REQUEST IN A VERY DIFFERENT DIRECTION OOPS. its just artie being a wingman LMAO

Skimming the shelves, you mumble titles to yourself as you search for the cookbook Sebastian recommended to you. You’d offhandedly mentioned making a pie for a certain someone, and the butler was quick to catch onto what you were actually trying to do. After all, said certain someone had been working hard enough to lose valuable sleep, and you weren’t the only one becoming concerned.

Snatching the book off the shelves as soon as you find it, you begin flipping through the pages. You’re so absorbed in the recipes and detailed descriptions of sweet treats that you don’t notice the other presence creeping up behind you.

“Well, I’ll be! Newt is quite a lucky guy!” Arthur hums thoughtfully, nearly scaring you out of your skin.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” you yelp.

Arthur laughs heartily as you fumble with the book, snapping it shut. Your gaze is scornful as you whip around to face him, lips twisted into a pout.

“Aw, I’m sorry love. I didn’t mean to scare you.” he slides up to you, leaning in to get a closer look at the book, “If you want to make something for him, I’d recommend something with apples. Our old Newt loves them dearly!”

Apples? You furrow your brow, running through the list of apple desserts you know. And how did he know it was for Isaac?!

“Oh, and love? Why not make the dessert with him? It’ll drag him away from his work.” Arthur winks, and just like that, he slips out of the kitchen.

That’s how you ended up here, with Isaac at your side. It’d taken quite a bit of convincing to get him out of his room and even more convincing to have him agree to bake an apple pie with you, but somehow you succeeded. You doubt anyone else would have gotten the same result.

Isaac’s soft voice is quite loud in the silence of the kitchen as he reads out ingredients, murmuring under his breath about how he would measure them and doing calculations to make sure the dessert was perfect—

“Woah, hold on Isaac!” you place a hand on the recipe book, pulling it away from his face.

He immediately stops at the sudden contact, pretty eyes blown wide at the sight of you so close to his face.

“This isn’t supposed to be a science experiment! We just need to have fun, okay?” you try your best to smile in a way that will calm him down and help him understand.

Isaac simply looks away and grasps at his hair, twirling the loose strands around his index finger.

“Okay.” he murmurs, and you do a mental celebratory dance.

Operation befriend Isaac is underway!

[dovveri]

could you love me while i hate myself?

synopsis: y/n, nayeon, momo, and sana are in a polyamorous relationship. momo walks in on y/n self-harming for the first time in 7 months. they all try and talk and work through this together.

warnings: we got depression, suicidal ideation, self-harm (cutting), blood, sexual references, cursing - also this is poly!namosa if ur not into that but i love getting comfort from everyone i love so

w/c: 6.9k

a/n: sooo i wrote this in a day bcs im utilising my #depression as inspiration and lwk we love writing as a coping mechanism - i’m so fine tho i just need my meds to start working again LMAO and they will vvvv soon trust - but in the meantime i can pump out the sad stuff hehe! lwk forgot abt boo and dobby until like halfway thru writing this IM SO SORRY #fakefan and i wasn't bothered to write them back in so they js don't exist here oops!

⸸

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. the thoughts were coming. you wake up hazily, dream forgotten, arms wrapped around nayeon, legs entangled with the three people you loved most in the world. you don't deserve them. shut up!

you shut your eyes, trying to will away the thoughts. they were always there, always in the back of your head, always nagging, telling you that you didn't deserve to live, that you were a worthless piece of flesh born only to cause others suffering, or born with no purpose at all. there's no point to it all. just die. they'd be better off without you. they'd be happier without you.

you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes. it was so loud. you needed them to be quiet. to return to the depths of your mind. you curl in closer to nayeon, trying to breathe in the scent of her to distract you, feeling sana's breath on your hand, listening to momo's soft snores, they were the only thing grounding you. they pity you. that's why they've stuck around for so long. they know if they left you you'd break. they don't love you. it's pity. they'd be happier together. just the three of them. they didn't need you. you needed them. you were a burden to them. you need to leave so they can be happy. you want the best for them don't you? SHUT UP.

you couldn't take it anymore, you slowly unwrap yourself from your girlfriends. slipping your arms from around nayeon's waist and pulling your legs away from the mess of limbs. you look back at them, sleeping peacefully, watch their chests rise up and down with each breath, it's bittersweet. you had so much love for them. you turn around again and slip out the door, closing it softly behind you.

you pad softly towards the bathroom, entering it quietly and sighing, looking at yourself in the mirror. dark circles under red eyes, messy hair, disgusting. look at you. how could anyone love you? the thoughts were louder in the bathroom. almost echoing off crisp white walls. your grip on the sink tightens, you tear your gaze away from the mirror, letting your tears fall into the sink silently. why did i have be born like this? born like this? honey you're not different. everyone else is able to cope fine with trauma, with all the shit that happens in the world. you're just weak. weak, crying little bitch who can't deal with a couple sad emotions. don't think you're special. you're not. why can't i feel normal? you're not normal. you never will be. you'll always be that weird kid on the playground that no one wants to play with. grow up and get used to it already. why won't you leave me alone? i can't leave you alone. i am you. you are me. we're stuck together.

your head's splitting, you don't even realise you're crouched in on yourself now. hands gripping your head, nails digging into your scalp, anything to try and stop thinking. you wish you could just go back to sleep. sleep was easy. you didn't have to think when you were asleep.

that's right. sleep. sleep forever. run away from your problems. that's all you'll ever be good at right? running away. you ran away from your parents when they found out you were dating not one, not two, but three girls! whore! you left your brother and sister with them. they probably got the brunt of their anger. or maybe not. maybe they hate you too for being a fucking disappointment. it doesn't matter. they don't care about you. you left them. now leave your girlfriends. it'll be easier. leave. leave. run. do it.

your lip is trapped between your teeth. you're biting down so hard it draws blood. you're rocking yourself on the floor of the bathroom. pathetic. all you do is cry. grow up already. you can't take it. it was too much. you needed- needed-

you're reaching for the loose tile you know is second from the towel rack, opening it and finding your stash of emergency goods. you had meant to throw it away you just kept avoiding it and now... well you needed it now.

you take out a scalpel, go into the old routine of cleaning it down with an alcohol wipe, the motions that are familiar to you helping you drown out the thoughts already. they're still there though. they were always there. you'd be lonely without us wouldn't you? you actually enjoy being mentally ill don't you? take some sort of sick pleasure in it? is it comforting? it's easy to fall back into old habits isn't it?

once it's clean, you can see clearly again. you remove your pants, spreading your legs and look down at the scars that decorate the insides of your thighs. you take a breath, clearing your head as best you can, and bring the tip of the scalpel to start a new line.

the immediate relief when the blade enters your skin and you watch the scarlet liquid pour out of you is incredible. you're like an addict, drinking in the pain and using it to clear your mind. suddenly, the only sound you hear is the quiet of the bathroom and your own shallow breathing. you've never felt more at peace.

but it's only temporary. like everything is only temporary. seriously? this again? is this the best you can do to try and get rid of me? we talked about this you idiot. you're never getting rid of me. because we're the same. you just made yourself even uglier. congrats. good luck getting your girlfriends to ever touch you again after they see those.

fucking hell. you can't help it when your hands move to the start again, just under the new line you've created. you're about to push in again when you hear a gasp.

you look up in alarm, bloody scalpel in your hand, fresh cut on your thigh.

"m-momo."

"y/n- what-"

"it's not what it looks like i swear- fuck- oh my god- mo- please-" you're scrambling, trying to pull up your pants and cover yourself, dropping the scalpel onto the floor with a clang.

she's on you in seconds.

"no no sweetie it's okay i'm not- it's okay it's okay-" she's pulling you into a hug, and you start sobbing.

you're burrowing your head into her neck, sniffling and crying, she wasn't meant to find out. they were never meant to find out. now you've done it. good luck keeping them now. no way they're going to stay with you after this. better breathe her in while you can because she won't be yours in the morning.

you're squeezing her tight, crying and blabbering into her and she lets you. hushing and brushing through your hair, pressing light kisses along your forehead.

when she starts to pull away you panic, shaking your head against her, terrified she's leaving you and this is it.

"no sweetie i'm not going anywhere. i promise. we just gotta clean you up okay?"

she pulls away from you gently, opening the cabinets next to the sink to grab the first aid kit and comes down to sit next to you.

your sobs have ceded but you can't bear to look at her, staring down at the ugly scars on your legs.

"can i?" momo makes a gesture towards your legs and you shrug, moving closer to her so she can work.

she's quiet when she cleans the wound, focused.

you idiot you stupid fucking idiot. she hates you she thinks you're so gross and-

"do the others know?"

you don't trust your voice to speak so you shake your head.

"is this why you never let us touch you?"

you blush bright red, gripping the bottom of your shirt.

"you know we wouldn't have judged right?"

the tears are coming back, you feel them building up in your neck again, clogging it up, choking you.

"i'm sorry if we made you feel like we would have." momo's voice breaks then, and you look up. momo wasn't one to cry. sana tended to be the more emotional one, nayeon and momo cried too, just less often and definitely more private, momo just took a little longer to come to conclusions sometimes.

"y-you didn't." your voice is croaky when you speak up.

she sniffles a little, finishing cleaning and grabbing the bandages.

"a-are you mad?"

she sighs. "not mad. just... confused."

"i-i- i'm sorry. i'm sorry i didn't tell you guys i didn't- i thought you would think- i thought you might leave or think i'm too much or i don't know i-"

she finishes wrapping the bandage around your thighs, looking up at you then, her eyes shiny. "i could never leave you y/n. i love you. all of you. you, nayeon, and sana are my family."

you're crying again now, hands coming up to wipe at your tears. she gently helps you put your pants back on then pulls you into another hug, breathing shakily as she lets herself cry as well.

you cling onto her shirt, the confirmation that she was still here and she still loved you grounded you.

you both sit on the bathroom floor there, tightly wound around each other. you memorise the way her breathing comes in and out, focusing on the little hiccups, every single movement. it was quiet.

she pulls away from you, hands coming up to cup your cheeks, thumbs swiping along them. "do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head.

"do you want to come back to bed then?"

you think a little, "i might sleep in the guest room tonight. i don't really... it's not that i don't want to sleep with you guys, i just-"

"is it okay if i join you in the guest room then?"

you look surprised, "why?"

"it's okay if you don't want me to. i just want to be with you if that's okay. to make sure you're safe for one, but also just because..." she sniffs, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear gently, "i love you and i want to make sure you sleep well."

the tears well up again. "of course. it's not you i just- i don't want sana and nayeon to find out like this."

momo nods, pressing a gentle kiss onto your nose, "i understand. do you want anything before bed? water? a snack?"

you smile tiredly against her, still in a sort of disbelief she was still here. "i'm okay. let's go to bed."

momo nods again, standing up and pulling you with her, but she stops again suddenly, looking down, "does it hurt?"

you wince, "not really. i mean the point is kinda for it to hurt." your eyes widen when momo frowns, "but it doesn't! not anymore i mean. i kinda got used to it." her frown deepens, "i mean no not like that! like- well yes- but-"

"it's okay y/n. i want to know these things. if you're okay with sharing them." she's sincere when she looks at you, and then she's pulling you along towards the guest room. your heart drops a little when you pass by the master bedroom, thinking of nayeon and sana sleeping peacefully inside, wrapped around each other blissfully unaware, but momo squeezes your hand and you look back towards her, following her into the guest room.

she turns on the lamp light and starts removing all the extra pillows and everything that were only really there for decoration. once she's done, she starts ushering you into bed and you laugh a little at her earnestness, "you don't have to treat me any different momo. i'm still the same person."

she frowns, climbing into bed after you, "i just found out about a massive part of your life that you've been hiding from us. you're not the same person to me. not when i've only known half of you."

you still at that, unable to look her in the eye as she fumbles around with the blanket, covering both of you and then sliding an arm over your side.

"i'm sorry." you whisper once she's turned off the light and snuggled in close to you.

she takes a breath, "you don’t have to be sorry. i'm here now. i'm sorry it took me so long. but i'm here now. and i'm not leaving."

"even if i'm not the same person to you anymore?"

she finds your eyes in the darkness, "y/n i didn't mean it like that. i fell in love with half of you. i just found out there's another half that i can also love now. you're the same person, you just have more to you than we knew. and i want to know more about that so i can be a better girlfriend for you."

"you already are a great girlfriend."

she sighs, a hand trailing down your back, drawing random shapes, you curl in closer to her.

"i wanted to throw it all away. i wanted to tell you all. i just-"

she hums, letting you think out your words, continuing to trace patterns into your back, eyes locked on yours.

"it was hard. and i didn't think i'd need to say anything because i was doing good. i hadn't done it in so long. i don't know why today i just- i lost control again."

"y'know nayeon would say just because you haven't done it in so long doesn't mean you were better. it just means you stopped thinking about it but that didn't get rid of the problem. which is why eventually the problem came back."

you smile at her, poking her cheek, "you've been hanging out too much with nayeon."

momo whines, "we're girlfriends! of course i hang out with her!"

"you're right though. i'm sorry. i stopped cutting when we all started dating. i think i got swept up in all the excitement and the love but once the novelty wore off and i grew more comfortable with being in a relationship with all of you, some of the bad thoughts started to come back."

"what sort of bad thoughts?"

"...like that i'm not good enough for you- or that the three of you would be happier without me, or that i don't want to... that i didn’t deserve to live or that it’d be better if i wasn’t- y’know… alive-"

you can see the shine in momo's eyes and feel your own start to well up again while you talk. she lets you speak though, just lays there, stroking your back softly while listening to you.

when you're finished its quiet save for the occasional sniffle from either of you.

"do you still think that? that you're not good enough for us?"

you hum contemplating whether to be honest or to try not to hurt her, you decide you’ve hurt her enough and it was time to be honest, she was still here after all, she wasn’t going to leave you, "...yeah."

she's pressing her lips gently against yours, barely there, almost as if she's asking permission, and you press against her softly back to say yes. you can taste the salt of her tears in the kiss, its short, reassuring. you break away with a tender smile.

"i can't speak for the others. but i don't think we could work if we weren't the four of us. you know that sana and i tried to date when we were younger right? and it didn't work out? because we always felt like there was something missing. but once we all got together, it feels right to love each other like this. i think it'd be the same if you left. i think it'd feel like something was missing and i wouldn't be able to stay either. i'm not saying that to pressure you into staying like a 'if you leave i leave' kinda thing. i'm just saying that you are needed in this relationship and i don't think we would be happier without you, i don't even think we'd work without you, without any one of us."

god you didn't deserve her. you loved her so much.

"and the other stuff... we don't have to talk about that now but... if you're open to it in the future, i want to help you find some outside help if that's okay? you don't have to answer me now, just think about it, because i want to help, but i don't think we can do this alone."

you nod, lips quivering while she smiles at you, noses touching.

"thank you momo."

"of course sweetie. i love you."

"i love you too. so much."

she pecks you again, then places your hand over her chest, and you can feel the calm thumps of her heart.

she closes her eyes, lips only centimetres apart, you follow her lead, focusing on the feeling of her heartbeat rather than the thoughts, letting that fill your head, and slowly, you drift back into sleep.

⸸

you wake up with a dull sting on the inside of your thighs. you curse internally when you realise that it was because you had self-harmed for the first time in months. but then you feel a familiar hand tracing lines down your back, and the smell of soft peaches and you recall that momo had found you cutting yourself. but the way she's tracing your back means she's still here and she hasn't left and that you're still okay.

momo realises you're awake, moving her hand to your hair and brushing the pieces that have fallen over your face. "hi sweetie."

"mm morning. what time is it?"

she giggles a little, "its 5pm actually. i didn't want to wake you. nayeon and sana should be back home soon."

you startle, "what?! 5pm?! where did they go? did they-"

"shh shh no it's okay. i woke up early and made everyone breakfast. when they came in they asked where you were. i told them you slept in the guest bedroom because you weren't feeling well. they wanted to see you but i told them to let you rest. i don't think you should hide this from them for much longer though y/n."

you sigh, relaxing back into her embrace, "i know. i'll tell them when they get back." you can feel the anxiety beginning to chip away at you as soon as the words leave your mouth. you'd thought about it before in the past, about how they'd react. on the worst end of the spectrum, they'd leave you, thankfully momo hasn't done that yet. and realistically you don't think nayeon and sana will either. but there was always that fear in the back of your head. it was more likely that sana would feel hurt and start crying and nayeon would get angry that you didn't trust them with the information. both of which you didn't really want to deal with because you didn't want to cause any of them any negative emotions. but if you didn't tell them, it would mean forcing momo to keep a secret for you and have her constantly go around on tip-toes while worrying over you. it wouldn't be fair and you’d essentially be self-sabotaging your own relationship.

momo breaks you out of your thoughts when she uses her hand to rap lightly against your forehead, "what's going on in there sweetie?"

you shake her off giggling and she smiles, "nothing i'm just thinking about how to tell them is all."

"do you want me to be there?"

you look up at her, her eyes are sincere and caring, you could stare into them for the rest of your life, "yes please, if that's okay with you."

momo squeezes you against her even tighter, planting a kiss on your forehead and murmuring against it, "of course it's okay with me. i'd love to be there."

you smile against her, reminded of your eternal gratefulness and love you have for her, before your stomach starts to growl and you pull away embarrassed while momo starts to laugh that adorable, contagious laugh of hers.

you whine, climbing out of bed as she toddles along behind you, still laughing when you enter the bathroom.

you pick up your toothbrush and start to brush your teeth when you notice that the bathroom's been cleaned up since last night. there's no more blood on the floor and you look briefly over at momo who's standing on that tile looking at you carefully, the hint of a laugh still on her face.

"youscdonthaftawatchmeyknow."

she giggles when some toothpaste dribbles out of your mouth, tilting her head indicating she didn't catch what you said.

you spit out the toothpaste and repeat yourself, "you don't have to watch me y'know."

"i know."

you squeeze some of your facial wash into your hand, staring at her in the mirror when she doesn't move, still looking at your reflection with a gentle smile.

you shrug, closing your eyes and beginning to wash your face. you go through all the motions of your morning routine, and when you finish up and turn around to wipe your hands on the hand towel, she's still standing there watching you.

you clear your throat, leaving the bathroom and moving towards the kitchen. you hear her footsteps padding along behind you.

she overtakes you once you reach the kitchen, going towards the fridge and pulling out a few things. you sit at the kitchen benchtop and watch her reheat a few dishes that she must have made for breakfast and lunch.

"where did nayeon and sana go?"

"to the shops. we were meant to go check out that new bakery together in the city but i figured may as well let you rest, we can go another day."

"oh crap i'm so sorry i forgot! i would've woken up i'm so sorry-"

"it's okay sweetie don't worry. they were both fine to reschedule, they were more concerned about you than missing out on the bakery."

"why didn't you go out shopping with them?"

"i wanted to stay home with you."

"i was asleep."

momo hums, taking the food out of the microwave, "i didn't mind. here." she sets a bowl of sundubu jjigae in front of you and then goes to scoop out a bowl of rice from the rice cooker as well. you spent a lot of the last 24 hours crying but you can't help the tears that well up in you again at the smell. this was one of the first dishes momo made for the four of you when you moved in together.

"do you want me to feed you?" momo's joking as she slides the bowl of rice over, but when you look up at her and she realises you're crying she quickly panics, "i mean i can! if you want!" she's frantically rummaging for a spoon and scooping out some rice and stew and holding it out to you.

you laugh, wiping at your eyes with your sleeve, adoring the way she tilts her head like a confused puppy in bewilderment, a small pout appearing on her lips.

you lean up and take the spoonful into your mouth, chewing and swallowing before leaning across to peck her on the lips. "i just love you is all you idiot."

momo blushes and you take the chance to grab the spoon from her and start eating the meal yourself.

she pouts and is about to whine when you both hear the door open, the telltale sign of keys jangling and the happy chattering of your other two favourite people in the world.

"momo! we got that ice cream y/n likes but i still don't think it's a good idea for her to eat it if she's sick!" nayeon's yelling from the door, probably taking off her shoes and you can hear a short squeal and something crash followed by laughter and you know sana has probably knocked something down or fallen over.

you raise your eyebrows at momo who shrugs and grins sheepishly, grabbing nayeon and sana's mugs and filling them with water.

when they come into the kitchen all loud and giggles its a sight for sore eyes. nayeon's kissing momo hello and setting the bags of shopping they have down. sana rounds the corner with more bags and that infectious smile. you loved all of them so much.

nayeon spots you first, frowning and walking over to you immediately, placing the back of her hand on your forehead. "hey baby, sorry to hear you weren't feeling well last night. are you feeling better now?"

you blush, nodding your head, your mouth still full of food.

sana's next to bound over to you once she's kissed momo in greeting as well, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head, "we missed you today. i got you this top i think would be really cute on you though! and momoring we also got you one of those draw-on shirts but we thought we could turn it into a date or something so we have four!" she's rummaging through her bags, producing items of clothing and talking about each one with her endless energy.

you swallow your food and look up at nayeon who has a fond smile on her face while watching sana, when she notices you looking at her she smiles and leans down to brush her lips against yours.

"wait... you're not sick with anything contagious are you...?"

"what if i was?"

she's squealing, running behind the counter before momo laughs and hands her the mug of water she filled and urging her to drink it. she also passes sana her mug who kisses her again in thanks.

you hum in content, happy to be around the people you loved most. its almost as if... they'll leave you. you don't deserve them. this is all temporary. don't get comfortable. you clench your spoon a little tighter, trying to will away the thoughts as you shove another spoonful into your mouth, focusing on the taste and the love behind the person who made it for you.

"-and i almost fell into the fountain and she just stood there and laughed at me!"

look at them enjoying themselves. you’re the odd one out. the one who’s about to break everyone’s happy mood.

you can make out nayeon's cackle, "in my defense! it was pretty funny! you had all your bags and everything and you threw your phone at that little boy!"

"wait sana you did what?"

you should just leave. leave them. look how happy they are without you. all you bring is sadness and anger. you can’t give them anything they’d want. what could you offer them?

"momoringg!! don't join her in this! he pushed me!"

"yeah because you were trying to steal his girlfriend!"

useless. hopeless. there’s nothing you can do. you can’t get anything right. not your job, not your friends, they’ll realise soon enough you know? that they’re better than you. that they’re too good for you. then it’ll be them leaving you. do it first before they realise that and break your heart.

"i was not!"

"that definitely sounds like you actually."

"y/n! you're on my side right?"

you look up in a daze, confused at what the context of the conversation was. "sorry?"

momo's frowning, trying to meet your eyes but you avoid her, looking at sana who's pouting, "were you listening? are you okay y/n?"

"y-yeah sorry i was just- just thinking about something. can you tell me the story again?"

suddenly sana's all in your space, basically climbing into your lap and cupping your cheeks with her hands, squinting at you. "what were you thinking about?"

you blush immediately, "oh y-y'know, just work."

"work's more important than me?"

"no sana i didn't mean it like that i'm sorry. of course work isn’t more important than you. can you tell me the story again? i'll listen this time i promise."

sana hums, nudging her nose against yours gently, "i'll tell you if you tell me the truth."

"what truth?" you feign indifference.

you can tell nayeon is looking at momo, asking for an explanation with her eyes but momo shrugs, turning away and going towards the sink to do the dishes.

"we've been together for 7 months y/n. and i've known you for much longer than that. i can tell when you're lying honey."

you gulp, clutching the spoon tighter with your hands when you feel someone else, nayeon, unwrap your fingers gently and take the spoon away, interlocking your fingers with hers instead.

you stand up quickly, unable to be interrogated at such close distance anymore. sana looks a little hurt when you do, pouting but letting you go. you look at nayeon who's eyeing you with a concerned curiosity. momo still has her back to all of you with the tap on but you can tell her shoulders are tense.

you rub the back of your neck in nervousness, avoiding all of their gazes. "u-um... i actually kinda... have something i needed to talk to you all about..."

you can feel the anxiety ramping up, the adrenaline and urge to run away pumping through you, your palms beginning to sweat.

momo saves you when she turns off the tap and wipes her hands clean, "let's all go to the living room and have some ice cream and we can talk about it yeah?"

you smile at her gratefully and she returns it, grabbing the ice cream nayeon and sana just brought back and a few spoons and bowls.

nayeon and sana exchange looks of confusion but help momo bring the utensils over and eventually you're all sitting on your couch in the living room with the television on for some background noise so it wasn't too awkward.

you fiddle with your hands, not looking at any of them while the random sitcom you have plays in the background. momo notices and grabs a hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing gently, reassuring you that she was there.

you take a breath, clearing your throat and looking up at nayeon and sana.

"so i- um- i don't really know how to say this-"

"it's okay baby take your time. it's just us right?"

"yeah we're not going to judge you honey. we're here for you whatever this is okay?"

you take a shaky breath in, mumbling incoherently to yourself before deciding, "u-um it's probably a bit easier to s-show you." you let go of momo's hand and start to undo the tie at your pants.

"um... y/n if all you wanted was sex i think there were other ways to-" momo slaps nayeon who yelps, rubbing her arm where she was hit mumbling a "what?" but momo shushes her and gestures back to you.

you stand up and drop your pants, immediately feeling the cool breeze against your naked legs, shivering a little and fighting the urge to cover yourself. you stare down at your feet when you hear the little gasps. you decide to start talking, refusing to look up, "i'm sorry i made momo lie to you. i wasn't sick last night. i woke up and started thinking some… not so great things and i needed it to stop so i- um- i went to the bathroom where i hid some of my old stuff and i um- well-“ you awkwardly gesture at your thighs before continuing, “momo woke up and found me after the first cut. i would’ve kept going if she didn’t find me. she helped me clean up and bandage it and then i asked to sleep in the guest room because i didn’t want to um- i wasn’t ready to uh- to tell you guys yet- i’m sorry for keeping this from all of you for so long.“

when you’re done, you risk a glance up, and find the three loves of your life, tears running down their faces.

sana’s the first to move, she gets up and practically jumps over to you, but she stops short right before you touch, “c-can i- c-can i hug you?”

you smile at her, feeling your own tears well up at the sight of your three girlfriends crying. “of course darling. i’m still the same. i still love cuddling with you.”

she doesn’t give you a second thought and buries her head into your neck, wrapping her arms around your waist. you realise you’re still standing in the middle of the living room with your pants down which is a little absurd but you wrap your arms around her, sagging into her a little when she squeezes. you can feel her soft crying and the tears wet your neck.

nayeon stands and comes around as well, a little hesitant but you look at her and offer a wet smile and she breaks, enveloping the both of you in her arms as well with a muted sob. momo joins in as well because of course she does, you look at her gratefully as she sniffles, fiddling a little with her fingers before coming around behind you and moulding herself to your back, hands coming around your waist and holding onto sana’s hands, giving them a squeeze for reassurance as well.

you're surrounded with all the love you wanted. so why do you still want to die? you don't listen to that voice, pushing it down and trying to stay in the moment. eventually, someone breaks away, and you awkwardly shuffle your pants back on, glad to be able to cover up your scars.

nayeon speaks up first, a hand still holding yours, squeezing gently, "how long have you been... y'know-"

"since before i met you. the thoughts started getting really bad when i was still in high school. and all the pressure with doing well and all the extra curriculars i was picking up, it just got too much. the only thing that worked was the pain. it got me through high school, and i started to rely on it. but then... the first time i slept with someone... she was appalled. i had almost forgotten the scars were there until my pants were off. she got scared off and i told myself i wouldn't let anyone else see this side of me."

"baby..."

"it's okay. it got better after i met you guys. and when we all started dating i stopped. i felt happy." you smile up at your girlfriends, tears still streaming down your face, "being with all of you made me forget those things. but they came back. and worse this time because- because i have so much more to lose now. i can't- i can't lose you-" you can't control the sobs when you break down again. pathetic.

the girls are surrounding you instantly, whispering reassurances, brushing through your hair, tracing shapes into your skin, you try and focus on your bodily sensations rather than your internalisations, try and focus on them.

"we'd never leave you honey... we're not complete without you, you believe me right?" sana's tilting your face up to meet hers, her eyes are watery, nose red.

"i'm trying to believe you."

she places her forehead against yours and closes her eyes, sighing slightly, "i'm going to tell you that everyday from now. that i love you and that i'm not going anywhere. until you believe me." she smiles and tries for a joke, "you're going to have to deal with clingy me for the rest of your life."

you let out a broken laugh, kissing her sweetly. "i love when you're clingy anyway."

she laughs as well, wiping at her nose.

you peek at nayeon. you know she has more questions, the frown on her face and the little pout she has breaks your heart. you reach a hand out to her, she takes it after some consideration, and you pull her into your lap.

"you can ask anything. there's nothing off limits. i'll try answer everything i can and i promise i'll be honest with everything. that goes for the both of you as well." you look over at sana who's moved to your side to allow for nayeon to sit on your lap, she's got a hand on the eldest's waist, playing with her shirt, her other hand on your shoulder.

momo moves to your other side, lifting nayeon's legs and placing them on her own, tracing her calves and brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

nayeon's biting her lip, you focus on the small mole under her left eyebrow.

"w-why didn't you tell us?"

you sigh, "i didn't really think i needed to at first. because i hadn't done it in so long. i thought i was better."

"is it because you thought you couldn't trust us?"

"no baby that's not it."

"why did you keep your old stuff hidden then? when we moved in together? a part of you must have thought you weren't entirely better."

you bring a hand up to caress her cheek, she leans into the touch. "you're right. i'm sorry."

"is it still here?"

you look towards momo for an answer and she nods, "i didn't want to throw everything away. i wanted you to make that decision on your own. i thought that if we forcefully got rid of your things you might just try and hide it from us the next time the feelings come up. it's there but i... i don't really like the idea of leaving you alone y/n..."

nayeon's squeezing one of momo's hands, "pretty baby's so smart. i'm thankful you found her momo."

you nod in agreement, "is that why you kept following me around?"

momo nods shyly, her eyes still wet.

"i'm okay with that. i don't- i don't really trust myself right now either. i think it'd be good if someone was with me. if that wasn't... a burden or anything of course..."

sana jumps in, "honey no. you're not a burden. i hope you don't think that about yourself. i love taking care of you. i'd love being able to be there for you while you get better."

you smile at her gratefully.

"what are some of the bad thoughts you have baby?" nayeon's bringing your attention back to her, you can tell she's struggling to formulate these questions. but you're glad that she's asking them.

"a lot of it is about you guys. because you're all the reason i'm still here today."

"what about us? what can we do sweetie?"

you shake your head, looking down at your hands which are quickly taken ahold of by momo and sana. "i guess it comes down to... wondering if you can still love me while i hate myself." your grip tightens around their hands.

"you hate yourself?" nayeon's voice is shaky now, she's trying her best to hold back her emotions, wanting to find out everything she can do for you.

you nod, tears dropping onto her pants.

"there's this song. i think- i think it might be easier to play that for you guys if that's okay? i'm not really- i don't really know how to talk about this..."

they nod and quickly try and find your phone. momo finds it and hands it over to you. you quickly unlock it and search for the song you're looking for. could you love me while i hate myself - zeph.

you press play, clicking into the lyrics and staring at them to avoid looking at your girlfriend's reactions. it's a short song.

could you love me while i hate myself?

could you love me though i don't deserve it?

could you love me like there's no one else

even though you know i can't return it?

could you love me when the water's rough?

or when i leave you in a desert?

could you love me, though i speak with knives?

knowing all to well that you'll get hurt

if you can't answer 'yes' just go

i'm more trouble than i'm worth

could you love me while i hate myself?

because i don't know how this works

i never learned how this works

when it ends, you awkwardly tap out of your app, putting your phone down.

"thank you for sharing that baby."

you hum.

nayeon takes a shaky breath in, then quietly asks, "is it okay if i sing for you?"

you're surprised, looking up at her, her eyes are red. you nod.

she closes her eyes, humming a note to start, taking a breath in again and steadying her voice.

i'll love you while you hate yourself

i'll love you because you deserve it

i'll love you like i love us together

until you're ready to return it

i'll love you when things get rough

no matter where you leave us

i'll love you even when you're

working out all your thoughts

i'll get hurt if it means

some of your pain comes onto me

i'll love you while you hate yourself

and we'll figure out how it works

together we'll learn to get better

when she finishes and opens her eyes, you're sniffling again, tears streaming out of your eyes.

sana's the first to speak up, bringing her hands up to wipe at the tears on nayeon's cheeks, "our little musical genius. of course you came up with a response exactly on pitch after listening to a song once."

nayeon lets out a broken laugh, leaning into sana's touch.

you meet her eyes, a bright smile gracing your face, and you probably look a little silly, wet cheeks and red nosed with tears still dripping out of you, but nayeon laughs again in relief, coming in and kissing you.

you kiss her back gratefully, trying to convey how much you loved her in your action. you can feel sana's hand on your arm and momo's fingers in your hair. you loved them.

the thoughts are still there. you think they’ll always be there. but you don’t have to take them on on your own anymore. it would take time, but the people you loved were going to help you through it. you needed to put some trust in them as well, trust that they wouldn't leave, trust that they loved you just as you loved them, you wanted to get better, for them and for yourself, you believed you could get better with their help, for now, that was enough.

⸸

an extra a/n bcs its important: hi! i recognise that all experiences are unique so i just wanted to say the descriptions here aren’t meant to be generalised and i didn’t intend to write any stereotypes or misconceptions and i apologise if i have - i try to draw upon my own experiences to be able to write - in saying that i hope that anyone who feels they relate to similar themes etc seeks the help they need from professional sources - my dms are open ofc but i am not a professional and it is best to speak to someone who can help you in real time and in physicality. stay safe love y’all practice some self care today if u get the chance! <3

[cosmitton]

benjicot blackwood enemies/rival to lovers (?) with bracken!reader headcanons

A/N: I originally started writing this the day after the episode with “Benji” came out and never finished it until today, lol, so it’s not a very original idea. Sorry lol.

I know that he might not be Benji and that the show called him Davos, but idc idc idc. I think he fits as an aged-up Benji so that’s what he’ll be to me lol. Maybe if they give us actual Benji later in the show, I’ll come back to edit this to Davos. You can think of this as either Benji or Davos, it’s up to you but I’m referring to him as Benji.

Also, I can’t believe that the first thing I’m writing for HOTD is just because of this rabid squirrel that was on screen for maybe 5mins LMAO

Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!F!Reader

Enemies/Rivals to Lovers(?)

Warnings: nsfw (not full-on smut, just a bit I think), a little violence, Benji being a little shit lol, reader is easily irritated oop-

As with pretty much everyone in House Bracken, you were raised to hate the Blackwoods

Regardless of whether or not anyone even remembered why at this point

As a woman, naturally there were a lot of people that opposed to you learning how to fight or participating in battle

No matter how hard you fought for it, it wasn’t your place

But you weren’t the type to just accept being pushed aside so easily

And, oddly enough, Benji was different from the other men you knew

He didn’t seem to care very much that you were a woman fighting, he just wanted someone to talk shit to

He cared more that you were a Bracken, and, even more than that, you were fun to fight and mess with

At this point, you couldn’t remember when or how this started, but it was a relatively regular occurrence for the two of you to butt heads

Occasionally coming to physical blows

Like right now

Benji really needed to learn how to shut up if he didn’t want to get punched in the face

Though he would probably say the same about you

Despite the fact that you both had swords you could’ve used, you both have a tendency to use fists with each other

“Here you spend all your time trying to prove yourself a fighter and that’s the best you can do? What a shame, Bracken.”

“Fuck yourself, Blackwood. You can prattle all you want but you have yet to draw blood when I have.”

Benji laughs, not even bothering to wipe that blood from his mouth

You try to ignore what the sight of him bloody does to you

“I’m merely being kind. We both know how much you enjoy having your hands on me. Who am I to deprive you?”

You can feel the heat creeping up your neck and into your face, but before you can respond, Benji is suddenly much closer to you

You didn’t realize how fast he could be

“Although, I’m sure we could figure out a much better way to have your hands on me if you’re so desperate.”

You’re stubbornly trying to ignore the feelings his deeper, raspy voice inspires in your belly

Instead you focus on the rage that hits you immediately

You’re both long past decorum at this point, so you don’t think twice before rushing him to tackle him to the ground

Benji’s still laughing, seeming to think this is all a game

You’re rolling around on the grass now, both of you trying to gain the upper hand on the other

For a moment, Benji uses his weight to pin you down

“I knew you couldn’t resist rolling around with me. We could find some place more comfortable-”

You bite his hand that’s pinning your shoulder

When he pulls away with a sound that’s halfway between amused and surprised, you throw your weight to roll him over

“Give up now, Blackwood, and I won’t cave your skull in.”

“You’d never harm my face, you enjoy it too much.”

“You’ve got quite a mouth on you, would that you could back it up.”

“Oh, you like my mouth, don’t you, Bracken? Don’t worry, I could show you just how talented it is if you’re so interested.”

You go to punch him before you come to a realization

Benji’s just laying there

He isn’t even trying to get up or throw you off

“What are you doing?”

“What?”

“You’re not even attempting to push me off.”

Benji grins and you immediately regret asking in the first place

“Why would I? I can get on board with you being on top if you so wish to be.”

You’re exasperated, what did you expect

You roll your eyes, frustrated that you’re not getting anywhere with this

Ignoring that you’re also frustrated because of the images his words conjure and, he’s right, you wouldn’t mind being on top either

“You’re a fool.”

You get up to walk away from him

You should’ve expected that Benjicot Blackwood wouldn’t give up so easily

He scrambles to tackle you by the knees and you catch yourself before you faceplant into the ground

Benji’s weight lands against your back and presses your chest down, your arms folded between the grass and your body

“Blackwood! Get the fuck off of me!”

His laugh is right next to your ear now and you hate the way it sends a thrill down your spine

“Come now, little spitfire, you’re running already?”

“I’d never run from a craven like you! I’ve just decided you’re not worth my time.”

You’re trying to wriggle out from underneath him, embarrassed by the way the warmth of his body encompasses yours

“Careful, you might hurt my feelings.”

“I’ll hurt you in much worse ways than that if you don’t get up immediately.”

You try to push yourself up by your arms, but that just presses you against him even more

And he makes a noise that’s like a sigh and a groan

Gods

That noise should not make your face warm and your thighs tingle the way it does

You’re both frozen now, unsure what to do with that new development

He drops his head so that it’s pressed against your neck and shoulder now

“…Ben?”

“I told you to be careful…” his voice is much deeper now, and you can feel it rumble from his chest and through your back

You could also feel something pressed against your ass

“What are you doing?” You ask again, because you don’t know what else to say

“Nothing.” He replies, but you can feel his hands on your waist now

You refuse to acknowledge the fact that you’re not trying to get away from him anymore

His hands start to move slowly up toward your chest, as if giving you a chance to tell him to back off

You don’t

You can feel his breath against your skin from where his face is tucked against your neck still

You’re breathing hard by the time his hands reach your chest

You know he can feel it because you can feel his smile against you

But he’s breathing hard too

Still, the idea that he’s affecting you more than you’re affecting him annoys you so you press yourself back against him harder

You’re rewarded with the same low noise he made earlier and you feel the same tingles between your thighs

He must take this as a challenge, too, because one of his hands moves to your thigh and squeezes

“Must I warn you yet again to be careful?” Benji breathes

“You may as many times as you wish, however I may not listen.”

He laughs breathlessly and presses himself harder against you, pushing you against the ground

In response, you press back again

And you two continue like that, pushing and pulling like the ocean, rhythmic

His hand moves further up your thigh, pressing between them

Your legs part further without thought

You’re not thinking of much but Benji anymore

The movements of his hips are getting more frantic, his breathing heavier

His hand finally slips down the trousers you’re wearing to touch your skin directly

And you learn that Benjicot Blackwood doesn’t know how to shut up even now

“Gods, I always wondered how soft you’d be.”

“I knew you’d be so warm, I dreamt about it.”

“I bet you’re so beautiful, too. Pretty little princess.”

“So wet, gods, have you thought about this as much as I have?”

You wondered if he even knew what he was saying at this point, considering it all just sounded like rambling now

But you also couldn’t deny it, you had thought about this multiple times – even in your dreams

You have no awareness of how quiet or loud the noises you’re making might be right now

Probably for the best, though – you’d most likely be embarrassed

Either way, you know Benji can still hear you because he won’t stop smiling

If you weren’t so distracted by his fingers right now, you’d punch his smug face again

He’s lucky his hands make up for his personality

You’re almost nervous by the feeling that’s quickly creeping up on you right now – having never experienced it before and unsure of what exactly will happen

He must notice by the way that you’re squirming, almost trying to get away

“It’s alright,” he murmurs, kissing your neck, “I’ve got you. I’m here, relax.”

You figure he must know more about it than you, which isn’t exactly surprising from what you’ve heard about what boys his age typically get up to at night

So you relax and give into the feelings he conjures in you with his fingers

He must be feeling similar things by the low moan-breaths he’s making and the quickening of his hips

You gasp, pressing your mouth against the back of your hand that grips the grass underneath you, when that building pressure finally snaps

Your thighs, almost on instinct, start to close around his hand that doesn’t stop moving between them

But his other hand moves to squeeze at your hip when his finally still, pressing his open mouth against your neck as he gasps lowly

His hips finally slow, seeming to come back to the world as you do

He’s still softly touching you, until you start to feel a bit too sensitive and squirm away

You’re both silent for a moment, aside from your harsh breaths

And now that you’re back to reality – you’re faced with one question more important than the others

Where do you two go from here?

[winter-sol]

🧡birthday night with Levi🎉

word count: 4,6k contents: AFAB reader, explicit sex (minors dni), fluff and smut. porn with feelings, some rough sex and possesive dialogue. levi only has one dick, sorry. repost! since tumblr is messed up. hey there! this is something I wrote for leviaday, following the events of his birthday event '23, after the party at the hotel. started as something fluffy and slightly horny. got out of hand, oops. hope it's not too late for a birthday fic uwu

also at ao3 here ;)

“Well, once again it’s only me, you, Asmo and Mammon. So much for an epic party, lmao”. Levi’s voice is a bit difficult to hear with the roaring noise of the two party animals singing a song at the karaoke machine. Asmodeus is an amazing singer, but it’s late, they’re drunk and at this point they’re screaming more than hitting actual notes.

“Yeah, it’s late though, and everyone gave their all collecting those cards today. I’m sure they all fell asleep as soon as they hit their beds”.

“Yeah, I agree.”

A particular loud sound comes out of Mammon, he seems to be quite passionate about those lyrics. Asmo sips what’s left of his drink and proceeds to do the chorus. It’s going pretty well, to be honest.

Leviathan’s hand finds yours slowly but surely, his grab is gentle and firm. He’s absolutely not shy tonight, not after he had such a great day. And not after he was so open with you a couple hours ago, at that fountain. You squeeze his hand and lean your head on his shoulder, relishing the softness of his clothes and the fragrance of his hair.

“Do you want to sing another one? I made sure to put all of your favorite openings and endings before we started.”

“You’re the best, I mean it. But I think I’m fine like this”, you answer while you intertwine your fingers with his, emphasizing your words.

You feel his breath speed up a bit only for a moment before he says “Okay. Let’s just watch those two embarrass themselves then.”

The next song seems to be a ballad, one that Asmo wants to sing alone because he claims he’s too talented to share the spotlight with stupid Mammon right now. And he wasn’t wrong at all, it was coming out quite good since he was putting his all.

The alcohol from the champagne and the wine you had drunk that night wasn’t affecting you as strongly anymore, but Levi’s companion was so pleasant and cozy you found yourself being silent while reading the lyrics on the screen through heavy eyes.

It talked about a lover who made your days brighter, who you wanted to spend the rest of your days with. Suddenly, you remembered that afternoon, at the park. The sunshine resting on your skin was warm and blissful, you had missed it so much. Still, nothing made you as happy as hearing Levi’s nervous tone while he wondered about a hypothetical wedding. You could feel your heart racing once again at the memory.

You turn to face him, and find him wearing a silly smile, though you’re not sure if it’s directed at his brothers’ display or it comes from having spent a long, enjoyable day that simply makes him happy. Maybe he’s feeling as content as you after all you two have been through today.

Leaning forward, you press your lips to his cheek, making him startle at the unexpected sensation. He looks at you with big eyes, but once he notices your expression he immediately softens. Without a second thought, he kisses you on the mouth, not as chaste as you’re used to in his advances, but still a calmed, romantic one. It’s so full of feeling you melt in it for a moment.

His lips are smooth and slightly moist, the sight makes you want to keep pressing into them. He barely starts separating your mouths when you insist on kissing him again, and again. It’s not an inappropriate scene but you’re sure on any other day you’d avoid doing it in front of others, even if they’re distracted blasting the speakers. Still, right now you can’t really care about that. You can only think of Leviathan.

After a while, you two finally break the kiss, your breathing coming out restless. His arm had found its way around your back while you were busy, and now you realize how close you are to him. The joy that fills you is so strong you need to hide your face on his neck, unable to break the distance. A couple minutes must have passed, and you finally realize the song had ended and only the background music of the karaoke menu is coming out.

“Well, well, my dear MC, my dear big brother, we’re heading to our bedroom. Make sure to not stay up too late, ok? Though I wouldn’t blame you for it, am I right? Heehee.” Asmo says, a wink accompanying that sentence. Realization hits you but you try to keep it hidden.

“Hey, don’t mention something like that! Ugh. Bye, losers.” Mammon waves his hand while they disappear through the long corridor heading to the dorms.

…

“…They totally saw us, right?”

“Yep... Whooaahh, what do I do with this cringe?!” Leviathan says while he dramatically lifts his free hand to his forehead.

You grab his hand in order to calm him down, “Don’t mind, Levi, I’m sure we’ve embarrassed ourselves to their eyes harder with our cosplays and all of that. This is nothing”.

“That… doesn’t sound any better at all but I take it, lol”, he pauses and then says in a lower tone “Anyways… Well, now we’re alone and all… Do you… Do you remember what I said earlier? That maybe after the party, we…”.

You were expecting this to happen, yet you can’t help to be touched by his initiative. He’s grown so much in the time you’ve been together. “Of course. I… want to be with you tonight”. A pause. You aren’t that confident either, it’s hard to voice this kind of stuff sometimes. “Shall we head to our room?”

“Y-Yes.”

He stands up and grabs your hand, leading the way through the floor.

When you enter, you realize how luxurious the bedroom is as well. A big window displays a breathtaking scenery, city lights decorating the sight accompanied by a huge moon lighting up the dark, spacious alcove.

It’s a beautiful place, and you really want to savor this moment. You grip his hand and guide him to the large bed, expectation rising inside.

There is something you want to tell him, that you need to tell him.

You stand in front of him, suddenly thanking your height difference so you don't have to directly look into his eyes.

“Levi… today, you said it many times, and I’m not sure if I was reciprocal enough. But I wanted to tell you that I love you… I love you so much that only the fact of spending today with you, of being here with you now, it makes me as… nervous, as the first times we went out together…” God, this is harder than you thought. You end up looking at the floor when you feel his arms wrap around you tightly.

“Hey… How the tables have turned. How is it possible I’m the one comforting you suddenly? Haha…” He says, his chin resting above your head. Before he can say anything else, you continue.

“I love you. I also… want to spend many birthdays with you. And now… I want you to tell me what you want from me. Anything, everything you want, I’ll give it to you.” Your own words overwhelm you, but you try to stay calmed.

But you feel his breath catching and now you’re sure you’re not any better at all.

Before laying you down on the bed, the squeezes you in his arms one more time. Slowly, he positions himself above you, and his eyes rest on you with a look full of adoration, mouth slightly agape, kissable lips parted that you only wish to feel again.

He directs an unexpected smile towards you. “You are always everything I want, but now… I’ll take your offer, ok?”

Idiot. He made you nervous again. “Y-Yes”. You were ready to give in to whatever he’d do next, but you suddenly remembered something.

“Wait!” You exclaimed. “I need to do something first!” He only watches intrigued as you cast a simple spell directed at the door.

“It’s done. We don’t want anyone to hear a thing, right?”

“Oh?... Oh! That’s so cool! You’re so amazing!” He beams at you, expression full of admiration.

You laugh a bit. “Levi, it’s not a big deal.” Of course, you were happy at his compliment. You stare at his bright, adoring eyes, and between smiles, your lips meet each other in the middle.

The kiss starts innocently, slow and sweet. But as you give into the feeling, it grows hungry quickly.

His mouth is hot and wet, tongue finding every single spot he wants. His hands run through your hair, to your neck, your shoulders, touching everywhere he can. One goes to your upper back, holding you there, while the other goes lower. He stops for a moment, but once you grasp the hair of his nape a little too strongly, he gets the message and grabs your breast without any more reservation.

The palm cupping it moves, relishing everywhere it can, delighting in the softness of your chest. You wished your clothes weren’t interrupting, though.

His mouth moves to your neck, and he starts kissing there, tongue lavishing and giving small bites. Asshole, he wants to leave a mark. You know he has wanted for a while, but you’re too reserved to let all his brothers see that. But now, not only you don’t care anymore, but you actually gave him permission this time. You’re his to take and take you he will.

Not like it matters, you know there’s a spell you can cast to hide it tomorrow anyway.

Your train of thought is interrupted by his hands reaching under your shirt, touching your scorching skin directly. Your shirt ends up at your neck while curious fingers start grabbing your chest, softly rubbing your nipple. His other hand has moved lower as well, grabbing your thigh, a strong grip squeezing the plumpness in there, followed by a light caress.

The duality of his bold, desperate grasp, and his kind, gentle touch is only reflecting his true self, his true intentions, his unapologetic desire and sweet respect. He's just like that, and it was driving you crazy.

A violent pinch drives you back to the moment. Moving down, he looks into your eyes while he starts relieving the pain with his tongue, tenderly lapping at it while his hand now stimulates the other one.

After feasting himself with your chest, he shifts his position and grab your legs, spreading them for him to accommodate between them. He starts giving attention to your exposed belly, open mouth kisses going lower each time. When he starts unbuttoning your pants, clearly getting his intentions, you panic for a second.

“H-Hey. Is that ok? Shouldn’t I be the one… doing things to you? I… want to do it.”

His slight surprise is quickly replaced by a small laugh. “Eh? You’re worrying about that? No way, I get a free pass to do what I want, right? Then let me do this!” He says as if the mere idea of thinking that going down on you wouldn’t be pleasing for him is ridiculous. “W-Whatever comes next… Well, we’ll see, ok?”

You sigh. Fuck, now it shouldn’t be the time to make him doubt a thing. “Ok… Let’s do it”.

As he lowers the garment, he has your panties in front of him. He stays there for a while simply looking, fingers grazing the cotton fabric, following the outline of your intimate area. Of course, the pervert likes panties a little bit too much. He's captivated, the way he touches is devoted and erotic, and you find yourself wanting more.

A shameless kiss to your clothed nub makes a moan come out of you. The sound is invigorating to him, driving him to give more wet, open-mouthed kisses to your cunt. You close your eyes when he gives attention to your clit once again, sucking at it through the fabric.

“L-Levi! Ah…”

Your sweet, high-pitched whines are like music to his ears, he’d do anything to take them out of you. He pulls the fabric aside and starts tasting your folds directly, savoring your wetness.

You open your eyes and lower your gaze; you simply want to look at him while he does it. You grab his hair, soft at first, petting him tenderly. But the sensation of his fingers slipping inside you while he eats you out makes you pull at his strands. The violent gesture is arousing to him, making him delve into his ministrations even harder, his own moans muffled while his face is buried into your sex as he keeps licking and sucking, making a mess with his tongue and fingers, getting you closer to your orgasm.

“Levi, I-I won’t last much longer. I-If you want more then you should stop-”

“No fucking way. I wanna make you come. You really think I’ll end this now?”

You won’t argue with him, you’re far too gone for that. You try to look at him while he finishes you but the frantic pace of his fingers and the sloppy, wet kisses he’s giving you are too much for you. You can barely stand the pleasure growing, your legs closing around him and squeezing his head in place, unable to move out even if he wanted to. He actually likes your thighs restraining him, encouraging him to keep going harder.

His feral tongue, his knuckle-deep fingers moving inside you finally take you to the edge. Your vision blurs and only see white when your climax hits you, a loud whine escaping your throat.

As you come down, your legs relax and let go of him. You feel a final kiss down there before he parts from you, fluids and saliva running down his chin. It’d seem forbidden to even look at him right now.

“…How was that? Did you like it?”

“Huh? You’re asking that?! Don’t fuck with me.” You mutter, only playing with him, and at this point of your relationship you’re certain he gets it. “… Of course, you were amazing… As always.” You end up adding.

He beams at you, though you’re sure it’s not an innocent smile after all. “Hehehe… Great, because I’m not done with you yet.”

“Hey, let me touch you.” You let out before he gets another idea. He doesn’t have time to answer when you already reach for his clothed erection.

“A-Ah." He seems somewhat taken aback. But he reacts faster after getting so turned on, giving in. "You know I can’t say no, right?”

You can't help but grin. “On your back. Now.” You order after having his consent.

“Y-Yes.”

Resting above him, you give him little kisses on his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, and his lips. The taste is not good at all, but you don’t care.

You grab his length under the hem of his pants and give a firm squeeze at the base. He lets out a groan, looking at you through his long, blue eyelashes. His dark eyes, color engulfed by his large pupils, reflect the moonlight. A shiny, innocent look to a lust-filled gaze.

“You’re beautiful, Levi.” You whisper closely to him, making sure he can hear your devotion. Your hand starts a pace, up and down, a slow movement that will lead him crazy.

“Nnnggh… MC… Keep going.”

He already has precum leaking. You pass your thumb through his slit and smear the liquid down the shaft, easing the movement. You speed up the pace only a little, and he already is squirming under your touch. So easy, so desperate.

“Give me more. Do it faster.”

He’s open about what he wants tonight, and you can’t say you don’t like this side of him. He’s so gorgeous, you want all of him.

You give his neck a few kisses before heading down, sure of what you’ll do next. He only looks at you, not even shy about it. He’s feeling greedy and won’t stop you.

A small, feather light touch of your tongue on his head has a sharp breath coming out of him. He inhales slowly, his buffed chest looking splendid from your point of view. God, he’s so sexy.

“Could you take that out for me?” You say while resting a hand above his torso, grabbing the fabric of his shirt.

He obeys easily. He wants you to look at him, he wants you to desire him. You’re greeted by the sight of his toned figure, abs and pectorals delicious under the moonlight, strong arms supporting his weight as he leans, watching you.

You’re eager to taste him, engulfing his head in your mouth, tongue teasing. Your hand works through the base while you take the upper part of his dick deeper into your wet heat. You bob your head, saliva running down his length. It makes the movement of your hand smoother. You suck firmly and after you take it off your mouth, you work it swirling your tongue. It’s sloppy, you're sure you don't look as attractive as you'd like, but you can’t stop. It's delirious, doing this to him.

He brings a hand to your hair, petting it at first. But after your pace increases, he grips the back of your head, starting to guide the movement.

Ah, you can’t complain when he gets like this. The thought of your usually timid boyfriend getting rough is the hottest thing ever. Heat builds between your thighs, eager for more.

You can feel yourself drooling around his cock, the motion fast and intense, its head hitting the back of your throat. Your eyes have slightly watered at the roughness of it, you can almost feel yourself choking on it, but he always makes sure to give you some space to breathe before pushing you down again.

You hear him moan shamelessly at the sensation, completely surrendered to the pleasure.

He slows down for a second and says “I-I’m coming. Can I… Inside…?” His voice is soft and breathy, as hot as it’s cute.

You manage to nod, unable to speak.

Resuming the movement, he guides your head down and up again, as frantic as before. The pressure drives him to the edge, and between loud whines, you feel him climaxing and filling your mouth, a thin, slightly creamy liquid easy to swallow. You’re thankful he’s a demon, with… well, different anatomy and such.

He lets out with a ‘pop’, rests of cum escaping your lips. You look at him and he looks as wrecked as you think you should look right now. Well, you must be even more messed up after that.

Mimicking his previous words, you say “So… Was it good? Did you like it?”

He laughs, with the audacity to sound embarrassed. “Y-Yeah. Thank you.”

His face is filled with bliss, but you won’t forget about the pressure you feel down there.

You decide to tease him. “So, should we get ready to sleep or-!”

“Nonononono. Nope. Not yet, ROLF. I told you; I’m not finishing with you soon. I mean, it’s already past midnight, technically it’s not my birthday anymore but I still get to have more wishes come true… Right?”

“Yes, ‘cause I’m going to kill you if you leave me like this.”

“Eek! Sorry, on my way!”

He guides you to his lap and after he settles you inside his arms, he takes off your shirt. You lift a little to undress your pants and underwear while he does the same.

After that, you take a moment to simply rest your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. You’re eager for more, but that won’t stop you to relish your time with him. He caresses your back and your hair, giving soft kisses to your forehead.

He speaks again, his voice is hushed. “I love you, MC. Can you give me a little bit more of you tonight?”

He’s tender and sweet, it fills you with contentment and want.

You turn to face him, kiss his chin, and say “All of it. You can take all of me.”

Between passionate kisses, you straddle him, settling your arms around his neck. He locks an arm around your waist, while the other cups your cheek. Your tongues are still bitter, but the need to taste and relish each other is stronger.

You can feel his hardness against your thigh, ready for more. After parting your mouths, you murmur in his ear “Levi… put it in…”

He inhales, mentalizing himself for what’s to come.

“Ok. Move up a bit.”

You do as you’re told, and he positions his erection at your entrance. The sensation of his tip prodding at your core fills you with anticipation, and you lower yourself on it. It’s pushing inside you, inch by inch, slowly. You two are desperate for it, but you won’t accelerate things.

His cock is finally buried inside you, as much as it can fit. It’s spreading your walls, throbbing, and you give yourself some time to adjust to its girth.

You feel stuffed, it’s thick and warm, a burning sensation runs through your body.

“MC… You feel so good inside. So wet and hot…” He sounds like he’s under a spell, enchanted, fascinated with how good it is.

“L-Levi…”

“C-Can I move?” He says, his next words murmured in your ear “Please, please. Let me fuck you.”

There’s no way you can refuse to that, not now, not in any universe. You kiss his lips and nod.

The movement is slow, taking most of it out before entering again, savoring the drag. You’re so close to him, enveloped by his arms while he thrusts from below. You kiss him while he sets a pace, whining into his mouth by the sensation.

It’s starting to feel like it’s not enough, so you start moving your hips, meeting him and matching his movements. The increase of friction gets to him, a moan escaping him as well.

His hands grab your ass, decided to guide the rhythm again, growing faster. Pleasure boils inside you, arching your back while you grind your hips against him. His pounds start getting erratic, desperate for your velvety heat.

It hits your core over and over again, deep, strong, your breath is shattered, his name on your lips coming out quietly, broken.

“Leviathan- Ah! It feels good, Levi- Ah!”

He pants, his voice is rasped as he speaks, “Fuck, MC, you feel so good. Please, let me go harder.”

“Yes, please go harder, please- Ah!”

You cry out as his tempo is ruthless, unrelenting, the dirty sounds of smacking flesh resonating through the walls. He fucks hard into you, chasing his pleasure into your warmth. You look down just a little and can see his cock disappearing into your body repeatedly, an indecent view only meant for you two. It’s hot as hell.

Even if you try to match the pace with your hips, you’re not in control at all. His movements are frenetic, desperate, his strong grip using you as he pleases. You have completely given up yourself to him.

You catch his expression, furrowed brows, lascivious eyes barely open, looking at your bodies merge into each other. It only makes you even more aroused, you want him like this so badly.

“Levi” Your voice comes out as a strangled noise. “Levi! I love you. I-I’m yours. Forever- Ah!”

Your sounds turn into choked sobs, no longer able to make proper words. He’s euphoric, groaning his words “You-You’re mine. Only mine. You belong to me, no one else!”

One of his hands go to your sex, fingers stimulating your clit with a strong, merciless pressure. It takes only a few seconds to send you over the edge, hitting your second orgasm of the night. You scream at the exploding pleasure, his thrusts hard as he comes too, whining loudly as your tight walls clench around him through his climax, emptying himself inside you. Your body convulses as the last of your orgasm hits you, and collapses above him.

He pants, matching your shaking breath. After some seconds, he pulls out, and you can feel his release leaking out of you. Ugh. Well, you can’t complain, you enjoy to do it like that as much as he does.

He lays down completely on the bed, taking your weak body with him, caging it protectively in his arms, as if he’s not ready to let you go yet, not after you told and proved him you belong to him.

Your erratic breathing needs to calm down. Resting above him, your fingers brush his chest while you relax, hugged tightly against him.

Some minutes must have passed. Your head is pressed against him, face directed at the window. His heartbeat echoes through his chest, and the sound of it is comforting. Your eyes are focused again, and you can see the lights of the city. They’re still on.

You’re not sure what time it is. Apparently, dawn is close to come, but the night seems to be extending only for you. You’re thankful that suddenly the time feels so slow. At this moment, you don’t need anything else, nothing that isn’t being right here with him.

He had been petting your hair for a while, his lips pressing into your forehead makes you lean to face him. He’s smiling, infatuated eyes looking at you.

“I think this is exactly what I wanted… hehe.”

You giggle too. “Well, I’m glad you’re happy with it. I love you, Levi.”

“I love you too. You’re everything to me, my best friend, my partner, my Henry.”

You lean to kiss him on the lips, a chaste one perfect for this moment.

“Well, once you’re feeling more… recovered, I’ll ask you to take me to the bathroom. I… really need to clean myself.”

“Oh? Oh! Sure. Shit, sorry, lmao.”

You chuckle at his clumsiness, and close your eyes for a while, relishing in the moment.

---

You wake up to the sensation of a late morning sunshine touching your face, curtains wide open since no one closed them the night before. It’s a nice, cozy sensation, though. You didn’t know how much you liked sunbeams until you found yourself missing them at the Devildom.

Levi’s pressed tightly against you; the night owl seems to be still in a deep slumber. Apparently, you were the big spoon. Somehow. Considering how tall he is compared to you. You like it anyways, his hair is smooth, violet locks softly decorating his peaceful features. The word for him right now could be… ethereal. Yes.

You remembered the spell is still active, so no sound comes from outside of your room. Do you need to lift it? His brothers (though, now they’re like your brothers too) might start making a fuss over some foolishness, not something you want to deal with right now.

It’s April 10th, time waits for no one, and his birthday is over. Today, you’re all heading back to the Devildom. You certainly can enjoy this moment for longer, right?

As if sensing your thoughts, Leviathan slowly wakes up, taking his time to shift and face you, eyes barely open but clearly focused on you.

“Hey… Good morning, love.” You murmur.

His words are mumbled “Good mornin’… Why are you awake…” He yawns. “You know it’s still morning, right?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to look at your cute, sleeping face.”

“W-What… Shut up!” He whines, hiding on your chest. You laugh at the silly interaction, how is he embarrassed by that after last night? He’s incredible. You kiss his temple, and after sensing his smile, you feel like you have the energy to start your day.

Another year together awaits.

thanks for reading 💖 likes and reblogs are appreciated.

[hawkinasock]

Hihi! I’m back you should not have pointed me back to the ask box if I had more questions I fear I’ll never shut up

Okay onto the question. So, if I understood correctly, you mentioned that Yanqing’s death was ruled an accident(?) on fault of the emanator due to supposed Mara, but like what was the general consensus of the emanator’s claims? Like did the Xianzhou just like not believe it at all? Was it a mixed reaction? Did they just go with it? Accusing someone of even being associated with Abundance is already a heavy accusation on the Xianzhou, and I doubt “he smelled funny” would hold up in court for the Emanator-that-cried-Abomination over here (to be fair, it was right), especially for someone as beloved on the Luofu as Yanqing. Sorry I know I keep dragging this thing poor guy was just trying to do its job it just ate the wrong kid oops

Side question/musing: Random thought but I know its probably more plausable that someone gave him the shirt he’s wearing in the design but I just keep picturing his shirt just somehow surviving the digestion fully intact. Like Yanqing himself eh he’s like there buts he’s missing bits of himself (rip human legs you’ll always be famous) but his shirt doesn’t even have a hole in it Yaoshi might’ve just liked the shirt more than him at that point (deadbeat strikes again) they didn’t want a nice shirt to go to waste LMAO

Okay thank you bye <3

Long time no see, anon!

Don't worry about asking too many questions, I love getting asks, especially about my work. It tells me people are interested enough to want to know more. A lot of the times questions actually help me find and fix plot holes, so I welcome them wholeheartedly.

So, the general consensus among the Xianzhou natives was in Yanqing's defense, although there was some mixed feelings.

On one hand, this is Yanqing. He's absolutely beloved and trusted among the Luofu, so no one would want to believe he's an abomination of all things. Its also an absurd claim, considering the nature of abominations as almost always aggressive and having visual indicators of their allegiance to the Abundance. Yanqing is just... not that.

On the other hand, this is an emanator of Lan, one known for detecting abominations through smell. It's hard to believe they could possibly mistake a Xianzhou native for an abomination.

Most people are of the belief that this was a careless mistake and the emanator was in the wrong, but there's still a lingering doubt. If borisins can disguise themselves as foxians, then who's to say any abomination can't infiltrate the Luofu in the form of a human or vidyadhara too? That's what's going on through people's heads at throughout the story, and this kind of civil unrest and paranoia is exactly what Phantylia had been hoping for.

You do make a good point with his shirt. Apparently, fabric is actually really hard to digest, so it may not have been completely destroyed, but he wouldn't have regrown with it on, either. The doylist reason, however, is that I just never decided to give him a new shirt.

The watsonian reason is actually pretty simple. It's not the same shirt. It was given to him by Jing Yuan.

That's all for now. Until next time <3