#oops sorry for posting late i’ll probably schedule the next few posts

[gerardwayoftheday]

today is sunday, august 6, 2023. have a relaxing day and enjoy your gerard way of the day!

[imjusttpeachy]

she's a rae of sunshine (c.h.)

okay so this was a request but i completely read it wrong so i’m gonna write it again but i finished this one anyway so here take it

so sorry to the anon who requested it bc u were so fuckin sweet i’ll have it up asap i promise

playlist

ralph castelli - morning sex

crumb - bones

jorja smith - teenage fantasy

summary: balancing college life and wanting to support your best friends online endeavors was difficult, but reader regrets trying a little harder when she finally meets one of her newer stream-mates

word count: 2, 828

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, lowkey OOC Corpse, that needs its own warning i’m sorry,

•••

“Look you knew I had to stream before I said you could come over ya fuckin idiot.”

“Yea I knowwwww, I just wanted to spend more time with my super-hot best friend forever.”

Being the best friend of an online personality had its perks— the amazing trips you got to hitch a ride on, the adoring fans that seemed to latch on to you as well, the sponsorships that would always send you something along with the original PR package, and especially the way she was able to choose their own work hours.

Well... mostly.

As much as you adored spending time together during the day, whether it be shopping or going out for brunch, those late nights that always seemed to hold the most memories you held so dear were few and far between. Of course, you couldn’t blame her; responsibilities were responsibilities, and fuck if you’d let your selfish wants override the way she chooses to get her work done. You really couldn’t be one to judge either-- having to call off dates because you’d underestimated the time you needed to complete a school paper, or when a last-minute lab was called in and you’d have to leave her sitting alone in those cafes with your half-finished mocha and a promise to Venmo her the money to cover it later. What left you feeling the most guilty, though, was the fact that you weren’t able to watch her content as much as you’d like to. Sure, you’d catch a few minutes of a stream here and there but any time you spent apart was usually spent with your head buried in a book, mind bleary with countless espresso shots trying to keep your tired eyes focused on the seemingly unending work in front of you.

But, a distraction every now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?

Having had enough of your current assignment, any coherent thought was long gone, you’d decided to pay your favourite person a little visit. You knew she’d probably be busy as she hadn’t replied to your previous text for a few hours, but knowing her presence alone and any passing comments would lift the heaviness that had found its home in your head and chest, you shot her a message to let her know that her office couch would be occupied by you for the next few hours. Normally, you’d just show up so you knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it; so when that fateful message popped up on your phone giving you the go-ahead you completely ignored the warning of her work schedule and drove right over.

So now here you were, sprawled haphazardly on her couch clad in sweats and a sports bra scrolling through your phone as you watched her finish her final touches so she could start her stream.

“You’re gonna be in the background of my face cam if you wanna sit there y’know.” Groaning in response to her warning not wanting to move from the comfy spot you just found, you looked over at her with the best puppy eyes you could muster. She chuckled softly, raising her hands in surrender as she turned back to her setup. “Hey I really don’t care, just warning ya bug. The thirst comments and screenshots are outta my hands.”

Scoffing under your breath at her comment, you turned your head back to your phone as a Twitter notification popped up at the top of your screen.

Corpse Husband: streaming among us in a few mins, join in on youtube

Heartbeat picking up slightly, you scrambled for the purse you’d thrown at the base of the couch for your headphones. Ever since you’d found this handsome-voiced stranger’s channel on your late night horror binges, you had fallen completely in love. While you weren’t typically the type to watch video game commentary outside of Rae, his voice got you completely hooked and you couldn’t get enough of it. Yeah, maybe you were a bit of a simp, but that sweet and genuine personality that hid behind that gravelly tone had you melting completely into his clutches. You tried to convince yourself to get over it, you didn’t even know what he looked like. But, y’know, a little crush wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

“Going live in T-minus 30 seconds babe.” Jumping slightly as Rae’s voice knocked you out of dreamland, you mumbled out a small “got it” as you once again got focused on getting your headphones connected to your phone. You’d never been able to watch one of his lives before, his horror commentary videos usually playing as background noise as you did schoolwork or while you were falling asleep. Practically shaking with excitement, you opened your YouTube app seeing the live at the very top and tapping on it immediately only to be met with that sweet laugh ringing through your headphones like music to your ears. You grinned to yourself, grabbing the throw pillow you had previously tossed to the floor and hugging it to your chest while your eyes remained glued to your phone screen, completely forgetting what was happening around you as you zeroed in on the gravelly tone you’d fallen oh-so in love with.

“Hey (Y/N) wave hi.” You startled slightly as the faint voice of your friend sounded from across the room. Glancing up from your phone, you pulled an earbud from your ear and furrowed your brows at her before slowly processing what she said, lifting a hand in greeting to her watchers. She laughed at your confusing antics, turning slightly in her chair to look over at you. “What the hell are you so smiley about?”

“…Nothing..” You grinned widely as her laugh once again resounded around the room, shaking her head at you before turning back to her screen with a scoff, muttering something under her breath so only her watchers could hear. Smile still plastered across your lips, you settled back down into the comfiness of the couch and popped your earbud back in, zeroing in again on the screen in front of you. Watching as Corpse moved his character around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join, a small giggle escaped from under your breath; trying your best to be mindful of Rae’s stream but not being able to hold back the flustered feeling welling up in your chest, mind giddy with the thought of finally being able to see one of his famous live streams, well, live. It had only been a few seconds later when you heard Rae’s voice once again, only this time, not as muffled as before.

“What’s up motherfuckers.” Brows furrowing in confusion, you lifted your hand to your earbud and pulled it from your ear once again, hearing her voice from across the room but from your other earbud as well. No, there was no fucking way. All your questions were answered, though, as you glanced back down at your phone screen seeing a red character move around the game lobby along with Corpse’s, the gamer tag ‘Valkyrae’ floating just above it. Blinking hard at your screen trying to convince yourself that your eyes were lying to you, you slowly pulled your hand to cover your mouth in shock. How… How could you possibly not know they knew each other? With the way they spoke to each other in sarcastic comments, poking fun at the other it sounded like they were close too. Body finally catching up with your thoughts, you scrambled at your phone, shaky hands moving as quickly as they could to pull up your texts with Rae. Your fingers tapped furiously at the screen, anxious to get back to the live stream to listen in more but also needing to know what the fuck was going on.

TO my rae of sunshine: care to explain what the fuck is going on??! how the fuck do you know corpse husband?????!??!

“Oops sorry guys, guess I forgot to turn off my phone ringer-“ Staring up at the back of her head helplessly, you watched as she picked up her phone seeming to read out the text before bursting into a peal of laughter. Tossing a look at you over her shoulder, you looked back down at your phone bashfully, seeing the three loading dots in your message thread indicating that she was messaging you back.

my rae of sunshine: lol what about it? you gotta crush on him or something?

TO my rae of sunshine: …no

Hitting send you rushed back to the stream, anxious to see what Corpse was saying in response to Rae’s absence, not thinking anything about your brief conversation and thinking you would discuss it after she had logged off for the night. Though, as you heard her phone chime again from across the room followed by another bark of laughter, you knew you weren’t getting off that easy.

“What are you laughing about?” Corpse’s honeyed voice sounded from your earbud, hearing Rae’s giggles from what you presumed to be their discord voice chat. Glancing anxiously between his stream and the reflection of Rae’s face cam in one of her monitors, your heart began to sink as you watched that familiar mischievous grin tugging at the edge of her lips.

“Oh just my friend (Y/n) sent me a funny meme”

“Wait, is she the one in some of your Instagram posts?” You swear your heart stopped beating at that moment, eyes glued to the screen in front of you as you tried helplessly to process the conversation happening right in front of you. He knew who you were? You thought you’d always be lost among the hundreds of thousands of his new adoring fans, left in the anonymity of your Twitter tag in his subtweets, or just another subscriber that fawned over him silently behind a keyboard. Knowing that he’d actually seen your face you could feel your own beginning to heat at that moment; you brought your hands your mouth again, unknowingly curling your body tighter around the pillow in your lap as you tried to hide your face behind it as you become more and more flustered from the words nonchalantly escaping his mouth.

“Yea that’s her, pretty thing isn’t she? She’s my absolute favourite.”

That’s it, you were gonna fucking kill her.

“I mean, yeah... I guess..” The timid words followed by a soft awkward chuckle had your breath hitching in your throat. There was no fucking way this was happening. This had to be a dream, that was the only possible explanation. You were just about to pinch yourself when Rae’s voice startled you from your thoughts.

“She’s actually over right now. She insisted on getting wine drunk later tonight because her professor’s been on her ass lately. I’ll get her to come say hi.” Rae had barely turned around in her chair when she was met with your wide-eyed gaze, panic painted across your features as you shook your head wildly. You were in no state to be talking to your long-time internet crush in such a casual setting. But with the look Rae shot you from her chair as she started to plug another headset into her PC, you knew you had no choice and begrudgingly pulled yourself from the couch almost tripping over your own feet as you shakily walked over to Rae. Shooting her another pleading look, she only shoved the headset in your direction in return as she grinned up at you. Finally biting the bullet, you pulled on the headset and leaned down toward the mic.

“Hi, how’s it going?” Cursing at yourself for how quiet and shaky your words came out, you barely had any time to think it over before a chorus of greetings sounded through the headset. A small giggle escaped your lips as you watched the different Discord icons appear and disappear from the top of the screen. You knew most of these people already which made you even more confused as to how you managed to miss that voice from all the discord chats and voice calls. Well, knowing them was a bit of an overstatement anyway; you knew /of/ them, and they knew /of/ you in the other times you popped up in the background or in passing conversation during Rae’s streams. They did know you well enough, though, to know this was not the way you usually spoke around them.

“No way, that can’t be the (Y/N) I know!” The voice you recognize as Sean echoes through your headset, another chorus of knowing laughter following quickly after. Taking a deep breath you managed to force out a few words that would get them off your case.

“…Shut the fuck up”

“There she is!!” As the group erupted in laughter yet again, all you could focus on was the faint deep chuckle that resounded through your headset. Feeling your face start to heat up, you covered your wide grin with your hand as butterflies burst through your stomach; you could listen to that laugh all day. Before you were able to speak again, though, that heavenly voice piped up and wiped all train of thought from your mind.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N).”

“It’s nice to meet you too Corpse. I gotta be honest ‘n say I’m a pretty big fan of your no-sleep work.” And... there’s the word vomit. Fuck, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up with the ongoing realization of who you were talking to.

“Aha thank you, I uh really appreciate that. I’m sure you just heard, but I guess you could say I’m a fan of yours also.”

No.

No, there’s no fucking way.

Is he...

Flirting with you?

Before you could even think about what to reply to that with, the rest of the group beat you to it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is happening.”

“CORPSE! You SIMP!”

“Is- Is Corpse really shooting his shot right now?”

You didn’t realize you were frozen in place until you felt Rae’s hand on your elbow, snapping you out of your bewildered trance as you tried to comprehend what was happening yourself. As your thoughts finally caught up to the present, you could feel your cheeks start to burn; pulling your hand up to cover your face you stepped out of the view of the face cam. Rae’s laughter filled the room as she watched your flustered antics, shooting you a sly grin as she started scanning the monitor displaying her live chat.

“Wait, wait, chats telling me (y/n)’s blushing right now?” Sean’s voice echoed through the discord chat, only making you flush further as you tried desperately to find a way out of this.

“Okay, okay, leave her alone.” Corpse’s voice finally piped up amid all of the chaos causing everyone to immediately pipe down. God, you didn’t even want to begin to think of the mess this has already made, you just needed to get out of there before you caused any more damage.

“Yeah, I uh- see- see that the lobby’s full so I’ll just uh- leave you guys to it.” Quietly thanking the stars that Corpse finally got you out of this mess, you went to pull the headset off your ears when that fateful voice piped up again.

“Wait, don’t let these nerds make you leave. You should stay- I mean, only to help Rae y'know? She needs it.”

“I do not!”

“I- I mean yea sure, as long as I’m not intruding,” Cursing yourself again for stuttering before forcing yourself to swallow the knot in your throat, “I mean, she really does need the help.”

“Okay just because you want to flirt some more doesn’t mean you can bully me-“

“Okay, I’m starting the round!” The booming accented voice cut off everyone else in the call as you all stared as the screen began to count down to the game, and before anyone had the chance to say anything else a chorus of laughs resounded, and then the lobby fell into silence.

•••

And it went on like that, the not-so-subtle flirting followed by relentless jabs from the group immediately after. The game was almost forgotten with how much of each lobby was taken up by teasing words and endless laughter, but every audience was just eating it up. You didn’t even want to think about the mess social media was going to be after this stream but right now you were having fun with your friends and that’s all that mattered. The grin was practically plastered on your face as you laughed along with Rae the chat during the gameplay portions and you knew everything from this moment on was gonna be different, but you couldn’t find a single thing within you to care.

Especially when you logged onto Twitter right after the stream and saw that little message right at the top of your requests.

@.corpsehusband: wanna hear some of that no sleep work in person?

•••

beep bop here u go,

[attllhak]

Adoption AU - Wild and Warriors: The Epic Quest For Taco Bell at 3 am

@tortilla-of-courage so you mentioned you’d be interested in my Adoption AU one-shots, and now that things have calmed down in my house a bit I figured I’d post the first one-shot I wrote; the one about Wild and Warriors going for a Taco Bell run. Theoretically, I was going to do a one-shot for each grouping of boys, as an introduction, but I don’t think that’s happening anymore. Either way, here’s the first thing I wrote!

(And, anyone else who would like to be tagged if/when I post more for this AU, let me know here and I’ll make a list or something)

---------------

“anyone know any good substitutes for love and personal fulfilment?”

Warriors sent the tweet without much thought. He didn’t actually care about an answer, he just felt like venting about his most recent break up in a vague way, and thought he was being funny. He could already see Legend rolling his eyes.

His phone dinged a few times, one reply from Twilight, asking why he was up so late (which he’d responded to with the same inquiry, which had Twilight going silent), one from Legend mocking him, one from Hyrule trying to actually help. He was surprised how many of his brothers were up at this hour.

He dropped the phone on his bed, rubbing his eyes. He wasn’t actually all that tired, probably a consequence of having all afternoon classes and a habit of leaving his work to the last minute. Eh, the first year was supposed to be mostly parties anyways. (Not that Time would ever find out he said that.)

His phone dinged again and he groaned, eying the clock and the small bottle of melatonin next to it. 2:43 am. He should sleep. He didn’t have anything tomorrow, he finished his last final earlier that afternoon, though, so a few more minutes couldn’t hurt.

He picked up the phone and woke it up again. He blinked a few times at the new reply.

“crunchwrap supreme from taco bell”

He ignored Twilight yelling at Wild for being up, as apparently Wild did have a final tomorrow still. Not that Wild was paying any more attention.

He snorted, hitting the like button on Wild’s tweet and clicking off his phone. He reached up to stretch, yawning as he did. He eyed the melatonin bottle again. Technically, he didn’t need the supplements to sleep, but with how messed up his sleep schedule was, they did help him knock out when he planned on sleeping at a reasonable hour. This wasn’t a reasonable hour, but sleepiness hadn’t set in yet either.

Before he could decide, his phone lit up with a text notification. He tilted his head back and pointed his phone down to look at instead of dropping his arms.

Gordon Ramsey 2:44 am

lets go

Warriors blinked once. Then again. He unlocked his phone to type back.

what?????? go where?????

A second passed when he got a reply.

taco bell

for your substitute for love

since you got dumped and need something

oops was that too soon

sorry 

Warriors blinked at the screen again. Wild lived twenty minutes away from the university Warriors was attending, and the nearest Taco Bell was no closer. Plus, Time had revoked Wild’s driving privileges after he crashed his bike into the barn and broke both and his arm. There was no way Wild was getting to the university, much less a fast food joint. Especially at this hour.

and how do you plan to do that? You aren’t allowed to drive yet Mr. Broken Arm

you have a care

*car

That was a very good point.

you are suggesting that I drive 20mins outside of town to pick you up, drive another 20mins back into town, then drive around downtown until we find an open taco bell, at 3am on a school night before you have a final?

There was a few seconds pause, just long enough for Warriors to consider that he’d given up on it.

no

we wont be driving all over town

i googled it and found one

its like 10mins form your collage

*from

*college

Warriors considered that.

twilight won’t be happy

only if he finds out

Wild made a very good point.

how do you plan to get out of the house without him noticing?

i have a window war

The response was so immediate, and he was probably sleep deprived enough, that he burst out laughing when it sent.

20mins

He clicked his phone shut and shoved it in his pocket, grabbing a jacket and his scarf on the way out of his room. He was struggling to shrug them both on at once when he realized his roommate was still up too. There was a tense staredown as their eyes met and they both froze.

Volga broke the standoff by closing his book. “And where are you going at this hour?”

Warriors considered that. “My brother bribed me with food to break him out of the house,”

“At,” he glanced at his watch, “two forty-nine am?”

“Yes,”

The silence was tense.

Volga sighed and opened his book again. “Don’t crash and die, I’d hate to have to get a new roommate when I’ve finally gotten used to you,”

“Don’t burn the dorm down while I’m gone,” Warriors joked back, finally getting the fabric to work with him.

“It happened once, and it’s not like you’re any better at cooking!”

“I don’t set what I make on fire, and then freak out and throw it when blowing out that fire doesn’t work,” he grabbed his keys from the dish by the door and waved behind him.

“It happened once, Link!”

“And it’s why we order out now,” he grinned, ducking out the door. “See you later, Volg, be back in an hour or so,”

He could hear Volga’s angry shout through the door, so hurried down the stairs to the ground level as quickly as he could, before Volga woke their neighbor again.

He was still giggling when he got to the parking lot. Volga was just too easy to rile up.

The cool night air woke him up a little more so, and he took a deep breath as he located his car. A hand-me-down vehicle, he inherited it from Time when he was old enough to drive. Mostly this was so he could stop asking everyone else for their cars when he wanted to go somewhere. A little elbow grease however, and no one could tell it was at least 20 years old and not fresh off the lot. He made sure none of his brothers were allowed to drive it, especially after Wild got his bike stuck in a tree, or Legend crashed into a lake, or Twilight picked up drag racing, or Wild got his bike stuck on the roof, or Hyrule lost his car, or Four rolled his truck, or Wild and the barn literally last week. A lot of the crashes in the family came from Wild going ‘oh yeah? Watch this!’ now that he thought about it. It was a miracle he still had the same bike.

The twenty minute drive to the farm was pretty boring, nothing of note really happening.

He turned off his headlights as he pulled into the drive, not wanting to wake anyone, especially Time, up. He shot off a quick text to Wild when he parked.

A window opened and Legend’s head poked out to glare at him. His phone dinged.

Royal Pain 3:12 am

what are you doing here?

He glared back at Legend and typed out a response.

taco bell run

Legend glanced down, presumably at his phone, then back up a Warriors with an incredulous expression.

at 3am????

and if so why are you /here/????

Warriors pointedly looked around the house where Wild emerged from the bushes. Said brother grinned and popped open the passenger door to climb in.

“Hey,” he grinned. His hair was a mess, with at least two visible sticks stuck in it, and he was still in his sleep clothes. Despite this, he seemed fine.

“Legend has us made,” Warriors nodded to their brother, who was still glaring with his head out the window.

Royal Pain 3:15 am

twilight won’t be happy about this

Warriors frowned, trying to shield his phone from Wild as he typed back.

twilight won’t know

Warriors did not like the look in Legend’s eyes as he got the next text.

unless i tell him

Warriors glared up at his brother, working his jaw.

what do you want?

He hated the pleased grin Legend shot him.

the most expensive thing on the menu on your dime

fine

Warriors shoved his phone away with a growl, flipping off the overly smug Legend as he put the car in gear. “Asshole,” he muttered.

“What was that about?” Wild asked.

“We’re buying him food too now,” Warriors growled, flicking back on his headlights.

“Oh, cool,” Wild leaned back into the seat and pulled out his phone. “So the Taco Bell we’re going to only has the drive thru open, and it’s just off main street,”

Warriors nodded, focussing on the road and not that Wild had found the aux cord.

About thirty minutes later, as Wild finally turned down the music to provide directions, he snapped and turned to Warriors mid direction. “Do you want to sign my cast?”

Warriors blinked. “Maybe when we stop, I’m not crashing to sign your cast right now.”

Wild nodded, and pointed across Warriors at the street they had to go down.

They pulled into the drive thru and ordered, then had to wait for the very expensive thing Legend wanted. Warriors turned to Wild as the car idled.

“Do you have a marker?”

Wild blinked at him, then brightened up and offered out a sharpie and his right arm. The cast, under the signatures and well wishes of their family and all of Wild’s friends, was painted in very poorly drawn flames. Warriors raised an eyebrow as he searched for a clear spot to sign.

“Hyrule painted it for me,” Wild explained with a grin.

“Ah,” Warriors hummed as he finally tracked down an empty space by Wild’s elbow.

He scrawled out his name, not much room for anything else, and then handed the capped sharpie back to Wild while he twisted around to accept the food from the drive thru worker.

He shot off a text to Legend to let him know they had his food, alongside an upset emoji. Legend sent him a devil face emoji back. Wild dug through the bag for his food, sharpie stuck in his hair alongside the twigs, which seemed to be multiplying.

Warriors rolled his eyes and pulled back onto the road.

At some point, Wild pulled the wrap out and handed it to Warriors, who ate one handed as he drove. Wild was right about one thing, the wrap did taste very good.

He pulled into the drive of the farmhouse, headlights off, just as he finished off the wrap. He phone dinged the second he put the car in park.

Royal Pain 3:58 am

where’s my food bitch

Warriors looked up to the window where Legend was leaning out and glaring at him.

Wild laughed at the surly look on Legend’s face, climbing out and taking the bag with him. “I’ll feed him,” he promised, grinning. “Thanks for the trip, War!”

“No problem,” Warriors grinned back. “Just make sure you get to bed once you’re inside, so Twi doesn’t suspect in the morning,”

Wild gave him a thumbs up. He shut the door a little too hard, making Warriors wince, and bounced up to throw the bag up to Legend. Legend caught it the second time, when Wild opted to use his not broken arm to toss it, and disappeared inside again. Warriors’ phone dinged again a few seconds later.

Royal Pain 4:00 am

thanks pretty boy

your secret is safe with me

for now

Warriors rolled his eyes and sent him a thumbs up back, then pulled out of the drive again to head back to campus. He was actually starting to feel tired now, so he figured he’d get home and just crash. It’d be like, 4:30 in the morning by then, and he was pretty sure Volga would be asleep. And if he wasn’t, they had a rule that after 4 am until 7 they were allowed to ignore each other, so it’d be fine.

Volga was asleep when Warriors snuck in, passed out in a chair with the book on his chest. Warriors took the sight in, then sighed.

He dropped his keys in the dish, then pulled off his jacket and scarf to hang in his room. He grabbed a bookmark off his shelf and wandered back out to pull the book off of Volga’s chest and set it down so the spine wouldn’t crease. He left Volga like that, however. He didn’t want the books to get damaged, but if Volga was dumb enough to fall asleep in the common room without a blanket, then he deserved what he woke up with.

He was very lucky that Warriors was too tired to find a sharpie.

He fell asleep before remembering to take off his shoes.

(---)

The next morning, so about noon, he was woken by Volga pounding on the door to put his phone on silent.

His phone buzzed on the desk next to him and he pulled it off and up to his head, hitting answer before looking at the contact.

“Hullo?” He slurred, still half asleep.

“Twilight knows,” Legend greeted him.

“What?” Warriors sat up, groaning as his back complained from sleeping on his stomach all night. It took a second for his brain to catch up.

“Twilight knows,” Legend repeated. “Hyrule sold you out, unintentionally, and I can hear him selling you both out to Time,”

Warriors blanched as the words registered. “Oh shit,” he threw himself out of bed, hissing as he realized he slept fully dressed, and scrambled for the things he’d need in order to flee. “How long?”

“Twenty minutes if you get lucky and Wind pulls through, less if not,”

Warriors cursed under his breath as he changed his shirt and tried to make it look like he hadn’t been sleeping in what he was wearing. “Thanks for the heads up, I’d say I owe you but,”

“You’d rather not owe me,”

“Yeah,”

“Look, if you get caught and cave, I go down too. This is self-preservation. Don’t cave and we’re even.”

“Got it, I won’t,”

“You better not,” Legend hissed. “Good luck,”

“Thanks,” Warriors nodded, even though Legend couldn’t see him.

He tossed the phone on his dresser as the line went dead and he went about trying to comb through his hair so he looked presentable.

A hard knock on his door came a few seconds later.

“I put my phone on vibrate, Volga!” He shouted through the door. “You can drop it now!”

“Link?”

Warriors paused, then opened the door. Lana, Impa and Artemis waited on the other side, Volga glaring at them and hovering behind them.

Warriors blinked dumbly at them. “Uh, hi?”

“Hi Link! Good morning!” Lana grinned and waved at him.

“It’s noon,” Impa reminded the group, eying Warriors up and down.

“Oh, right,” Lana nodded, then went back to grinning at him. “Good noon, Link!”

He snorted and shook his head to clear it. “Good noon to you too, Lana. Can I ask what you’re all doing here?”

“We were hoping you’d join us for something,” Artemis smiled at him, also looking him over, trying to find whatever Impa had picked up on. “We’re going on a small road trip since all our finals are over, and we were planning on hitting a few different cities over the week,”

“Mhm,” Lana nodded quickly. “We’re leaving today, and are taking no calls until we get back, and we’re camping in the car, which is why we’re using my van, and we were hoping you’d come with us,”

“I’m in,”

The three girls blinked at him. Maybe he answered too fast, but taking no calls, meaning no contact with his family, for a week gave them time to move past this, and he really didn’t want to deal with a lecture from Time. His friends just offered him asylum, whether they knew it or not.

Impa narrowed her eyes. “What happened with your family?” She asked, already onto him.

“Nothing that’s my fault,” he responded, ducking back into his room. “What should I bring with?”

Lana listed off what they figured they’d take and he pulled out a suitcase, nodding along as he started packing. He fired off a text to the group chat as he grabbed his jacket, tossed over one arm, and wrapped his scarf around his neck.

World’s Best Captain 11:39 am

Leaving on a road trip with some friends. Be back in a week, but I can’t take calls until I’m back. Don’t kill each other!

He put his phone on silent and slipped it into his pocket.

He might have a hellish text backlog when he got back, but it’d be better than the lecture from Time. And besides, he got to spend a week with the best girls he knew.

As far as he was concerned, everything worked out win-win for him.

Wild was right, the crunchwrap supreme from Taco Bell did work wonders in supplying love and personal fulfilment, even if not in the way he meant it.

He made a note to get Wild something as thanks while they were out. Maybe some crash pads. Goddesses knew that his brother needed them.

[capcarolsdanver]

Why Her? (Part 1)

Summary: This fic is based off a request from an anon after some speculations that have been made on my blog.

Brie enlists the help of the reader to get a date with a girl that reader knows from class, only for unexpected feelings to be caught. Drama/angst/fluff to come! Pairing: Brie x Reader A/N: Oops accidentally took another way too long break from posting. I was still writing during this time, trying to structure some kind of schedule, but every time I reread my writing I always end up wanting to rewrite most of what I have, which is exactly what happened with this one. This is part 1 of 4, more of an intro than anything. Part 2 coming very soon!

As always, feedback is always appreciated so please let me know what you think, or even any suggestions you have for future parts! It is all written but I’m open to making some adjustments if people have any good ideas to bring to the story!

Please do not repost my writing anywhere without my permission.

PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

You take another generous sip from the coffee cup in your hands, practically cradling it as if it’s your most prized possession. Although, that’s what you would be inclined to referred to it as in this moment. You relied on coffee during most of your days at the best of times, but even more so while you’re nursing a hangover like the one you currently have.

You groan quietly to yourself when you realise you’ve reached the last drop of your precious caffeinated drink, placing the cup on the table in front of you and dropping your head into your arms in probably the most dramatic fashion you can muster.

You vaguely acknowledge the sound of footsteps getting louder as they approach you but you quickly dismiss them as yet another student walking passed your table in the campus library and choose to ignore in favour continuing to feel sorry for yourself. You take note to never sit at one of the tables closest to the entrance again. Foot traffic has quickly become your least favourite thing.

It suddenly occurs to you that you can no longer hear the footsteps. How long had you been zoned out for? Surely whoever the footsteps belong to couldn’t have already passed you without any other sound.

“Hey Y/N, how’s it going?”

The voice beside you isn’t over the top loud or anything, but it still doesn’t stop you from jumping in your seat, your head springing up. You instantly wince, warily bringing your fingers to your temples in a useless attempt to ease your pounding headache.

The girl standing by your table, Sarah, scrunches her features in apology.

“Sorry,” she sheepishly apologises. “I did see you at the party last night. Didn’t think you were much of a drinker, though.”

“I’m usually not, especially when I have class the next morning,” you grumble. “Last night was a mistake that will never happen again.”

Sarah laughs quietly, clearly trying to be mindful of your current state. “I figured I’d find you here this morning. I just have one question about class and then I promise I’ll leave you in peace and quiet again.”

“Shoot,” you say in as pleasant a tone as you can manage, deciding to spare her from your complaints about how not at all quiet the library of all places has proven to be so far that morning.

Sarah smiles a grateful smile and sits opposite you before asking a question about some paper you had received in your shared class the previous day. You can barely comprehend what she’s asking you but you answer as best as you can, which seems to be enough because Sarah is again smiling brightly and standing from her seat.

“Thanks, Y/N. I owe you one.”

“How about telling me how the hell you avoid getting a hangover. I saw you last night too. I swear you drank more than everybody else combined.”

Sarah chuckles and turns to leave. “Call it talent,” she says, waving over her shoulder as she retreats.

You wave back and watch her leave.

You wouldn’t necessarily call the two of you “friends”, but you and Sarah share an English class together and you seem to find yourself at the same get togethers and parties frequently, and had always gotten along well enough. You were sure if you actually took the time to hang out together you would probably be easy friends.

You take a heavy breath and release it when you realise you’re alone again, and just barely start feeling sorry for yourself again before a figure is slumping into the chair next to you with absolutely no consideration to your clearly less than ideal state.

You jump even more than when Sarah had startled you and your hand flies to your heart.

“Oh my god!” you exclaim. Your body was so not prepared for these kinds of interactions today.

“Sorry,” the girl says, kindly enough but with much less sincerity than Sarah. You don’t recognise her and you look at her with wide eyes, trying to figure out who she is.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, actually,” she says, apparently missing the bite in your tone, or just choosing to ignore it. “That girl you were just talking to. You’re friends with her, right?”

You instinctively look in the direction of the main entrance, where Sarah had disappeared through just moments go.

“Uh, kinda?” You reply, unsure. “I guess. I mean, we have a class together but-“ you interrupt yourself, remembering that you have no idea who this stranger is or what she wants. “I’m sorry, what exactly do you want from me?”

“I was wondering if you could help me get a date with her.” She says it so matter-of-factly that she doesn’t seem to recognise how entirely strange her words are. All you can do is blink at her in response.

“Excuse me?”

You have never actually considered that Sarah could be interested in women. Sure, she was an attractive girl and she was always nothing but friendly to you, but for whatever reason you just weren’t interested in her in that way. And  now that you think about it, you’ve never actually seen her with anyone else, not even at any of the parties you’d attended.

The girl in front of you, however, obviously had considered it, and had somehow come to the conclusion that Sarah was interested in dating women.

“Do you even know her?” You ask.

“Not at all. Why do you think I’m asking for your help?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?” You have to admit that you’re still confused by her request. She seemed confident enough coming here to talk to you. So why would she need any help talking to Sarah?

“Oh, I’m like, notoriously bad at talking to women I’m interested in,” she easily explains. “I can’t flirt for the life of me and I’m way too awkward to try to convince a girl that she definitely wants to leave a party with me.”

You’re left without a response once more, blinking at the girl as she offers you a half smile and watches you. After a long moment, she seems to remember something, sitting up straighter to regard you again.

“Oh! I’m Brie by the way!” She holds out her hand towards you and you drop your eyes to stare at it for a moment, your hungover brain working at half speed before you realise she’s offering to shake your hand.

Your hand grips hers weakly and she shakes it with her own. Her handshake is firm yet gentle, though you don’t really know what to look for in a good handshake. Brie seems to hold back a laugh at the awkwardness of the situation.

“And you are…?” She regards you with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh! I’m Y/N.” You shake your head as if you were clearing the fog inside of it. “Sorry. It’s been a bit of a rough morning.” You force a chuckle. She squints her eyes at you for a moment before a look of recognition flashes across her face.

“Ah, I thought I recognised you. You were at that party last night, right?”

You look at her in surprise. Usually, no one ever seems to recognise or remember you from any of the parties you attend. You’d always been a loner to some level. Not totally socially inept but enough so that you generally flew under the radar quite easily.

You nod. “I’m sorry but I don’t remember seeing you there.”

“Yeah, by the time I showed up you seemed pretty plastered,” she chuckles and your cheeks immediately flush. You hadn’t meant to drink so much the previous night, but what started out as a couple of drinks had very quickly multiplied the more you had allowed yourself to wallow in your own self pity. You uncharacteristically had let the fact that you were at yet another party alone get to you.

Brie seems to notice your discomfort because she thankfully has the decency to move the conversation on fairly quickly.

“So, you think you can help me?”

You’d completely forgotten the reason why she had even started talking to you in the first place, but your brain eventually catches up and your eyebrows lift when you remember her request.

“Oh. Um…”

“Okay, listen,” Brie interrupts, watching you with amusement in her eyes. “I’ve gotta go. But if you decide you might want to help me, here’s my number.”

She grabs the notebook that you forgot you even had open in front of you and slides it across the table towards herself. She quickly scribbles her phone number in the corner of the open page and slides the notebook back towards you.

Brie stands up, considering you for a moment before she reaches into her bag that’s slung over her shoulder. You’re still several steps behind, looking down at the set of numbers she had written in your notebook, when she drops two aspirins in front of you. You startle, looking up at her and finding her smirking down at you.

“Take these, they’ll make you feel better. And maybe they'll convince you to help me, too,” she says, barely giving you a second to respond before she, too, is leaving you alone at the table.

You sit in stunned silence for a few moments until your eyes drift towards the large clock on the wall opposite you and you catch sight of the time. If you don’t leave now, you’ll definitely be late for your first class of the day. You half consider your options, wondering how much you’d really miss if you just skipped one class in favour of going back to your dorm to nap.

Eventually you let out a deep sigh and stand up, knowing you’ll just end up beating yourself up later if you let yourself miss a class because of your poor choices from the previous night. You quickly throw your belonging into your book bag, only pausing to look at the two aspirins Brie had left for you. You pick them up and quickly swallow them down with a gulp of water from your water bottle before you’re rushing out of the library doors and towards your class.

[fxcking-anon]

hi! request, spencer xfem!reader? reader works at the bau but spencer isn’t there (mutual crush or beginning of relationship) so she swings by his apartment to see he has a stomach flue so she helps and takes care of him? fluff?

Chicken Soup

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

TW: None :)

Word Count: 1,925

A/N: I’m so so very sorry for how long this took. I ruptured my appendix right after I got this request then started classes again and all of a sudden it was October! But it’s done now and we are on the road to being on top of our shit again! Woo! (I may or may not have posted this during math class too oops)

----------

Spencer had given you a key to his apartment a few months ago. After Penelope was shot, you really struggled being alone in your apartment. So, you found yourself knocking on Spencer’s door after a long case. More often than not, you stayed the night. Over time, you’d brought a few things to keep there for when you did sleep over. While Spencer was no Derek Morgan, protector-of-all, kicking-doors-in-and-taking-names, he knew how to distract you from the darkness you both saw on a daily basis. And on the worst nights, he held you after your nightmares.

You had tried to return the key once you could finally be alone again. Spencer refused, insisting you were welcome to come and go as you pleased. So you did, often bearing gifts as you walked through the door. Sometimes coffee, a home cooked meal, or maybe a movie. 

The two of you had always been close. You had a habit of befriending the misfits and bringing them out of their shells. It also helped that people seemed to find you easy to talk to. You can’t name how many times an acquaintance has spilled their soul to you just because you “seem really approachable”. 

And yet, after months of spending most of your days off together and you having a key to his apartment, it took nearly the entire BAU team, excluding Hotch, holding an intervention of sorts to force you two to address the fact that you clearly liked each other and what you were currently doing, was dating.

That led to an awkward evening back at his apartment, trying to talk things through. You knew Spencer didn’t exactly have a lot of experience with relationships and honestly, you didn’t have a lot of experience with healthy ones. After an excruciating half hour of awkward silence and “well, what do you think?” back and forth, Spencer just took your face in his hands and kissed you. 

You’d been officially together since then. Over the past few weeks, the two of you had established a little routine at work. He usually beat you there on nights you didn’t stay with him. He’d grab you both coffee and leave yours at your desk with a little drawing on a sticky note. The little creatures he drew were odd looking and sometimes a bit scary, but you still found yourself storing the sticky notes away in one of the drawers in your desk. 

Today, you were running late after an accident on the freeway put you much further behind schedule than you would’ve liked. As you stepped out of the elevator on the sixth floor, you scanned the room for his mop of curly hair, coming up empty.

“Spence isn’t with you?” JJ asked, looking concerned as she hoisted the case files she was carrying higher into her arms. 

“No, I stayed home last night because I had to finish some laundry I was putting off. Is he not here?” you tried to ignore the surge of panic that began to flow through you. While it was highly unlikely anything had happened to him, he’d been held captive before. In your line of work, it wasn’t completely off the table. You and JJ locked eyes, slight worry laced in both of your eyes. 

“Hotch hasn’t heard from him, I just figured you had,” she said. 

“No, I’ll call him now.”

You beelined for the empty conference room before calling your boyfriend. “Y/N?” Spencer croaked, picking up on the fourth ring. 

You quickly realized he was sick. After hanging up and reassuring Spencer you’d be there as fast as you could, ignoring his protests that you need to be at work, you found yourself in Hotch’s office.

“Look, we don’t have a case and if we get one, I can be back here, ready to go in twenty minutes flat. It’s just, he doesn’t take care of himself as it is and he’s likely downplaying how sick he really is-” you started off, rambling off excuses.

“Y/L/N,” Hotch said, cutting you off. “It’s fine. Just take your paperwork with you. I’ll have Garcia call you if we get a case, okay?”

“Thank you so much, Sir,” you said, heading back to your desk to grab your things. You didn’t need to take the day off to go take care of your sick boyfriend. However, your boyfriend was rarely sick. In the time that you’ve known him, you’d never seen him sick. Ever. You attributed it to his heightened awareness of the spread of germs and his commitment to handwashing. 

----------

On your way back to Spencer’s apartment, you made a quick pit stop at the local grocery store, picking up a few ingredients for your normal go to comfort foods. 

You set the bags down when you reached his apartment door, fishing your key out of your bag. You opened the door to find a full sink and no sign of Spencer. You set the groceries on the counter before peeking into his bedroom. 

Spencer was dead asleep, curled into the fetal position under his comforter and an additional three throw blankets. His hair was damp and matted on his forehead. There was a tense look on his sleeping face, brows furrowed and frowning. You stepped into the room, moving to situate yourself next to him on the bed. Gently, you brushed a few strands of hair from his forehead. “Y/N?” Spencer mumbled out, not yet opening his eyes. You leaned down to place a soft peck on his forehead, causing him to open his eyes. “I told you not to come,” he said sleepily, trying his best to sound stern. 

“As if I wouldn’t. How are you feeling, baby?” you asked, voice still hushed. 

“I have a fever. It’s probably the flu. Which means you’re going to get sick too,” he started, propping himself up on his elbows and pulling himself out of your gentle grasp.

You rolled your eyes before climbing all the way onto the bed and guiding him to rest back on your chest. “If I can handle kicking ass on a daily basis, I can handle a measly little cold. Now shut up and let me take care of you.”

Spencer huffed under his breath before settling his head on your chest, right over your heart. You could feel him relax as he listened to the steady pace of your heartbeat, drifting off to a more peaceful sleep. His eyebrows relaxed as you stroked his hair. 

----------

You weren’t sure how long you were asleep when you woke up, checking Spencer’s bedside clock to see it had only been about two hours. Instinctively, you checked your phone, making sure you hadn’t missed any calls from Hotch. By some miracle, you had no new notifications. Maybe just this once, the universe would give you a day to take care of your sick boyfriend without having to race off to play hero. 

Spencer was fast asleep, his breathing even and slow. You smiled to yourself before slipping out of his bed and resting his hand back against the pillows. You could lay there all day as he slept, but you knew you needed to start cooking now so he’d have something to eat when he finally emerged from his slumber. 

Your mother had always made homemade soup when you were sick. It was cheesy as hell, but it was what you knew. So you got to work cutting up the vegetables you brought from the store as you popped the chicken in the over. You hummed to yourself as you cooked, dancing around aimlessly and singing into the butcher knife in your hand. 

“Should I be concerned that you use knives as microphones?” Spencer asked, shuffling from his room, wrapped in a blanket. You froze, striking an Elvis pose with your knife as you smiled at him. His voice was less groggy now and he seemed to be a little more awake.

“Thank you, thank you very much,” you imitated Elvis, giggling a bit as you returned to chopping vegetables. “And listen, a girl has to make do with whatever makeshift mic she can find,” you teased, “Are you hungry?”

Spencer scrunched his face just enough for you to sense he still didn’t have an appetite. Regardless, he needed to eat. “I don’t need to be a genius to tell you how important it is that you get nutrients into your body-”

“Yeah, yeah” he grumbled, making his way to a cabinet behind you. He grabbed a sleeve of saltines from the middle shelf before hoisting himself onto the counter next to where you were slicing. “What are you making? It smells good.”

“Chicken soup,”

He hummed in acknowledgement, placing a cracker in his mouth. You smiled to yourself as the two of you sat in silence, you cutting up some celery and him munching on a cracker. You didn’t often get much domestic time together. With your work schedules, you didn’t have a lot of free time to begin with. Mostly, you’d do something quiet and low energy. It was hard to remember the last time you got to just be in each other’s presence while you did normal people things.

“What are you smiling around?” Spencer asked, looking at you inquisitively. 

You looked up at him, breaking into a bigger smile. “It’s nice, getting to just be with you on a weekday, making lunch. I’d rather you weren’t sick, of course, but we haven’t had a day off in forever.”

He grinned back at you, taking a moment to brush a strand of hair that escaped your bun behind your ear. “I love you,” he said plainly, making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

You’d both said I love you before, but you still felt the same butterflies as the first time he said it. You could’ve stayed like that for the rest of time, reveling in his gaze. However, the oven beeped, letting you know the chicken was done. 

“I have to get that,” you whispered out, hating to remove your face from his light touch. 

You pulled the chicken from the oven before shooing Spencer out of the kitchen and back into bed, convincing him to get some more rest as you finished the soup.

----------

As you lounged on the sofa with Spencer’s head in your lap later that evening, it dawned on you that Hotch never texted. You actually got a real day off. You stroked Spencer’s hair softly, twirling some of his little curls between your fingers. “What’s that song?” Spencer asked, shifting to look up at you. You furrowed your eyebrows at him, clearly confused. “You’ve been humming something, I don’t recognize it,” he said.

You stopped for a moment, realizing it was the same song your mom used to sing you when you were sick. “I’m not actually sure what it’s called,” you admitted, “My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick. I don’t remember the words anymore, just the melody.”

Spencer nodded in agreement, still staring up at you. 

“What?” you asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing, I just love you, that’s all.”

“I love you more.”

He leaned up to give you a quick kiss, his lips far less chapped after you spent the day pumping him full of liquids and hot soup. He laid back on your lap, tuning back into the silly cartoon on the television screen. Your hands found their way back into his hair again, sighing contently.

[poisxnyouth]

teacher!dave fic. chapter 1. (d.d)

A/N: oops. I couldn’t not. I wrote this SO quick, apologies if there are any errors! let me know what you think. -hailey

wc: 3.5k

The thought of senior year in its entirety was nerve wracking. Left and right, everywhere you went, you were going to be experiencing things for the last time ever. Including your last relationship of high school.

++

You had been hoping to see Mrs. Porter on you schedule ever for your AP Lit class; instead, seeing someone named Dobrik. There were only 2 AP Lit teachers at your school, so you can’t help but wonder if whoever Dobrik is replaced Mrs. Porter, or if they replaced the other teacher.

You and your friends flood the steps of your high school’s main campus on the night of Open House, schedules in hand as you flit around the grounds, meeting your teachers and finding your classrooms.

It’s an easy process, you and your friends were the same types of students with a majority of the same classes, so out of your 7 classes, you shared the same periods with them. It being your senior year, finding your classrooms was a piece of cake and took little to no time.

You move period by period, hopping through your lists out of order. A constant in your conversation was whoever Mr. or Mrs. Dobrik was; it was rare for teachers to leave your school or quit, so it made you all curious.

You and your friends eventually make it to the classroom of your first period: room 225, AP Lit with Dobrik. You mistake who you assume is Mr. Dobrik for a student, his hips propped up against his desk at the back of the room, arms crossed as he talks to a parent. His eyes glance toward the door as your group files in, standing up straight and politely excusing himself.

“Hey! You guys have this class? Let me check you all off my roster, just so I know I saw you and talked to you and gave you the syllabus and all that.” Mr. Dobrik turns to his desk, grabbing his rosters and thumbing through a stack of stapled papers, eyes looking up as he counts how many of you there are and taking the matching amount.

He makes his way over to you and leans against the nearest desk to you all, pen and green highlighter in hand.

“So, hi. I’m Mr. Dobrik. This is my first year teaching so don’t be too rough on me, but like, if I’m doing a terrible job and you don’t understand anything…..please tell me, even though my ego will get hurt. Seriously, though, this is a really difficult course and while I want to make it academically challenging, I don’t want to make it impossible. I’m pretty malleable with homework deadlines, but only if you come talk to me. Otherwise, late work is an absolute no and I can’t forgive it,” Mr. Dobrik is highlighting the same spots of every syllabus as his eyes scan back and forth through your group of five, making a point to make eye contact with every single one of you every time he glances up.

“I know you guys have jobs and extracurriculars and everything, but again: my answer is to just talk to me. I’m easy in that aspect. Um...there was something else, too,” he scratches his head, pushing his glasses up and searching through a syllabus.

“Oh! Phones. You can listen to music or whatever, I just ask that you don’t text or post or anything during my class. I’ll go more into all of this on Monday, I just wanted to clarify the basics, okay?” He looks up and makes eye contact again, searching for all of your confirmations.

“I know there’s usually a summer assignment for this class, so you guys are lucky you didn’t have to do it since I wasn’t here. That being said, my lesson plans are especially rigorous for the first quarter because you didn’t have one.”

“Basically, a good rule of thumb if you have any questions about anything, is to come talk to me. You can’t get the notes done on time because you work three to ten? Come talk to me. You have band until eight that night? Come talk to me. I’m here to help you, not make shit - sorry, not to make things difficult for you. I want you to pass the exam and get this credit.” He stands now, capping his highlighter and uncapping his pen.

“What are your names and what period are you in?” Mr. Dobrik makes the point of eye contact, checking the name off of his roster, and writing the name on the syllabus. You’re the last one, and you stutter out your own name, your eyes glancing down to his lips as he scans through his list, putting a check at the side of your name. He writes your name in the top right corner of the paper in messy handwriting, looking as iif it was written with the intent to be neat.

“Okay! Thank you guys. I’ll see you first thing Monday morning. Have a good weekend.” You all murmur your polite reciprocation, waving him goodbye as he smiles and runs a hand through his hair, seemingly nervous.

Once down the hallway, one of your friends eventually bursts, “Okay, was he totally fucking fine or is it just me? He’s also super young. Like, he’s barely older than us. Please tell me it’s not just me.”

You and your group immediately start, “Oh my God, no. It’s not just you. He’s probably the most fuckable teacher now. He’s got that messy brown hair, doe eyed, smart, nerdy thing going for him. I literally felt speechless as he looked at me for my name...Y/N stuttered!” You blush at their derision as they only laugh harder.

You don’t know how you’re ever going to talk to him or ask him questions when you can barely tell him your name.

++

Monday morning comes quickly; your last first day of school begins with you and your group stockpiling into your car, picking each of them up one by one. It’s an easy (albeit early) morning leading up to the first bell.

You all wander through Mr. Dobrik’s propped open door a few minutes after the first bell. He’s fiddling with his coffee pot he must've brought, back turned to the door. He hears the ruckus, though, looking over his shoulder.

“Hey! Good to see you again. You guys can sit anywhere. I’m not gonna have assigned seats or anything, so…” he trails off, turning back to whatever he was doing. His hair is slightly wet, white dress shirt clean and pressed, paired with a red tie, black skinny jeans and black Vans. He was too close to your age to be your teacher.

You and your friends are mostly too nervous to make any sort of conversation with each other amid the mostly silent room, sitting together and mouthing to one another, Oh my God, he looks so good!

More students come through his door and he greets every single one of them, quietly fixing himself a cup of coffee in a mug that stated what must have been his alma mater. The late bell rings, Mr. Dobrik immediately shutting his door and taking attendance. He calls out the names under his breath, eyes darting in between his computer screen and his students as he searches for the familiar faces.

“Y/N is present...okay, we’re good! Everyone’s here.” Mr. Dobrik doesn’t look at you as he says it though, one of your friends kicking at your leg under the table as you blush at the fact. He quickly sets up his computer and his PowerPoint on his class information, leaning against a table as he sips at his coffee.

“Okay, hi, everyone! I’m Mr. Dobrik. I went to University of Illinois and graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree. I majored in English and minored in Film, and I’ve just started an online Master’s program with U of I, where I’ll study Psychology. Um, I just turned 23, like, last month, and this is my first year teaching so all I ask is you don’t murder me if you don’t like something about my class or how I act, ‘cause I’m new at this!” Mr. Dobrik takes another sip of his coffee, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and hitting the next arrow on his keyboard, revealing a slide of essentially everything he had explained to you the night of Open House.

“So, like, the phones...I don’t care if you listen to music, but I don’t want you Snapchatting or playing iMessage games or anything while I’m trying to teach or you’re supposed to be doing an assignment, you know? I believe it’s disrespectful and rude; don’t waste my time and don’t waste yours. This is an AP class and we all know it’s a difficult course. If any of that’s an issue for you, I politely ask that you head down to guidance and snag you one of those handy schedule change request forms. Um,” he pauses, “I won’t ever put my hands on your stuff; you don’t touch my stuff and I won’t touch yours. It’s simple. I respect you guys and it’s not fair if I can do things you can’t, you know? So, I won’t take your phone. Again, I will never lay a finger on anything that’s yours, however, if your phone is out and you’re not changing a song or something, I will kick you out and send you to attendance. It’s different if you come up to me and say, Hey, Mr. Dobrik, my mom is calling, can I step outside and answer it? Like, duh. If it’s important, just ask me.” Mr. Dobrik continues sipping at his coffee, pulling his glasses off and placing them on the table. He rubs at his eyes before he slowly takes another mouthful, eyes peeking up sleepily as he looks around the room blindly.

“That’s really the gist of this whole thing, honestly. If there’s an issue, if you need more time for an assignment, need to take a phone call or text someone back, just talk to me. I was practically just in high school, so I get it; I know how hard it is when everything is due at the same time and the pile keeps getting bigger and bigger and you’re trying so hard to balance everything along with school. I’m also all ears if you want to come and talk to me about something that’s happening in your life or something similar, I have A lunch so if you guys want to come in and hang out, feel free. Again, the main point is: if you have any issues at all, just come talk to me, we can work through it together. Most of you are seniors, so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.” He shrugs nonchalantly, putting his glasses back on and placing his mug on the table. “D’you have any questions?” He scans the room quickly, taking everyone’s unresponsiveness as his answer, “No? Okay. Cool.”

Mr. Dobrik continues speaking about the first quarter and what you’ll cover during the first few units, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up to his elbows as he lectures. He reveals the first assignment: simple Cornell notes for the first two chapters of the textbook due Wednesday.

“The plan is to have a day every month where I meet with you guys and talk about what you understand and what you don’t. My philosophy is that your grade reflects what you know, not what work you did or didn’t do or copied off of someone else. If I can talk to you and have a good discussion about whatever we’re analyzing at that time, you’ll be fine. I really just want you to be able to analyze and have the ability to connect what we read with our personal lives in this day and age. You probably know this, but we’re starting in the 1600’s and going until present day. We’re going to read some John Keats, William Wordsworth, Anne Rice, Charlotte Bronte, et cetera, et cetera, you know the drill. I’m going to try to pick things that I believe you will be genuinely interested in or connect with, and if I don’t...um, not to throw him under the bus or anything, but it’s probably Mr. Carroll’s pick that he’s making me do with him. I’m serious! He wanted to analyze, like, the Federalist papers and I immediately said hell no.

“Really, though, your grade reflects what you know. And you guys probably need to get to it, so I’ll stop beating you over the head with my voice. Talk to me if you don’t like a certain type of assignment and we can come up with an alternate; talk to me if you need to take a call; you can eat in here but be nice about it; talk to me if you don’t understand something, all that jazz. I’m easy to get along with, I promise. Just talk to me and respect me and we’re all good. Cool? Alright. Textbooks are under your seats. You’ll need to go down to the Media Center on your own time to check one out. Get started. I’ll come around and talk to you guys in a few.” Mr. Dobrik finally pushes himself off of the side of the table he had been leaning on for the past 15 minutes, students rustling through their bags for pens and paper as he sits at his desk, submitting his attendance and responding to emails.

“Y/N, stop staring!” One of your friends, Jessie, kicks you under the table for the second time that period. “You’ve been drooling over him ever since he said Hi, I’m Mr. Dobrik! Like, it’s impossible for you to stare any harder. He totally noticed, too!” She’s whispering as you all work, a quiet hum of voices spreading across the room.

“He did not!” You defend, “No way. I was just paying attention.”

“Y/N, you were literally leaning against your arm with hearts in your eyes. Get a grip. If he wants to talk to us as much as he says he does, you’re going to have to get over it. He’s our teacher and he’s hot, but that’s all he is!”

“Oh my God, Jessie, it’s not that big of a deal. Just because I think he’s hot doesn’t mean I want to date the guy-,” you’re scribbling main ideas down as you skim through the paragraphs.

“Who’s the guy? Maybe I have him,” Mr. Dobrik leans over your table, scanning over your group’s papers before looking at you.

“Oh, um,” you blush at his eye contact as he bites at his lips, looking down at you. “Doesn’t really matt-.”

“I’m joking, Y/N,” he cuts you off and leans over, turning your paper to face him. He repeatedly glances between you and the paper before speaking once more, “Okay! You ladies good?”  You all murmur your agreement before he moves around to another group, shifting from table to table.

“Y/N, what the fuck was that? He has to know you’re into him!” You shake your head, no longer wanting to speak about it.

++

Two days later in Mr. Dobrik’s class, he’s going around, table by table, and grading everyone’s notes in front of them. It’s a snicker fest between your friends as he leans over you, red pen in hand as his eyebrows scrunch together and he shakes his head.

“No. You did this wrong. I’ll give you partial credit, but it’s not what I asked for. You can come in here during lunch and redo it for full credit. They look good, though.” He’s stern, already moving onto Jessie’s work before you stop him, making his eyes meet yours.

“Mr. Dobrik, respectfully, what do you mean? You looked at my notes both Monday and yesterday and you said it was fine. Like, I don’t understand. This is the first assignment of the quarter, and I’m starting it with a fifty? I’ll come in and redo it, but why? I just don’t understand.” You maintain the eye contact with him, his lips going in between his teeth as he chews on them for a split second.

“We’ll talk about it at lunch, okay? It’s fine. We can do this later,” he promises, returning to Jessie’s work as you stare at the bright red fifty percent at the top of your page.

So, you come in during lunch. He’s alone, typing away at his laptop as you walk through the door.

“Hey, Y/N. Come sit and we’ll talk. Can you get out the notes?” You feel odd about this already, silently obeying him and pulling the papers out as he continues sending emails, not looking at you. You wait quietly, placing the notes on his desk. He turns to you, looking them over quickly and leaning in closer. He’s too close, it feels like, and you can smell hints of his cologne mixing with his soap.

“Yeah. Okay. So, like, you paraphrased this entire time. There aren’t any bullet points, they’re just paragraph summaries. I don’t want what the book says, except for vocab, maybe. Like, I can tell just by looking at this that if I made you take a quiz right this second you’d fail it. Convince me. Make the work worth it and make it help you in the long run.” He leans back in his chair, looking at you again.

“I thought you said it doesn’t matter how we take our notes-.”

“It doesn’t,” he shrugs, “I don’t care how you do it as long as you know the content. But you don’t.” He doesn’t appreciate your talking back to him, but he lets it slide, liking the fact that you feel comfortable enough with him to argue about your work.

“How do you know that?”

“Y/N. I’ve peer edited and peer edited and peer edited these past 4 years of my life. I can spot when someone’s writing is half hearted. Even if it’s just notes. I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh, shit, I didn’t mean it that way, like, I never thought that you didn’t know what you were doing, I was just asking-.” He waves you off, smile playing at his lips.

“I know. I’m teasing,” Mr. Dobrik rolls a pen in his fingertips, running the pads of his fingers down the ridges of its side. “Really, though, just think about the content thoroughly and analyze it and you’ll get a 100. The work was phenomenal, I mean it, I just don’t think it’s the best you can accomplish as a student. I know I’ve only had you for 3 days, but like, it’s really obvious to me that you can do better than half-assed summaries. Again, they’re still great, but you can do better. It’s really not about the grade, at this point, right?”

You tilt your head in confusion, looking at him as he leans forward.

“Your work is college-level already. They’re just summaries, but you reworded them great and got the main idea across fine. If you do your best, I’m giving you a 100 in here,” he shrugs again, still playing with the pen in his hands. “I also saw you skimming the passages and your mind was somewhere else entirely.” You know what he’s hinting at, and it’s suddenly obvious how right Jessie was. He knows, but there’s nothing you could do about it and there’s certainly no going back.

“It’s fine. Just be present in my class and we won’t have any issues.” What the hell did that mean? That he knew you had the hots for him and that it was fine, that he was perfectly comfortable with it as long as you kept focused?

“Back to the point, though. You can produce better academic work. Do you agree?”

You nod, meeting his eyes.

“Okay. So, since you agree you can do better, I can start pushing you. If you want that, of course. Do you?” He’s pushing his fingers through his hair now, still looking at you. You don’t know what game he’s playing at, but something in you is telling you there’s a different motive than purely a teacher/student drive. Still, though, you say yes, looking at your hands.

“Okay. Then, tomorrow, I want the revised notes, your favorite poem, and a five paragraph analysis of it on my desk first thing. Can you do that for me?” You make eye contact again, nodding.

“Then you’re all good. I just wanted to talk to you privately about it. Let me know if it becomes too much or something. I honestly just think you have a lot of potential and as your teacher, I’d hate to see it go to waste. I don’t want you doing what I did. I didn’t try hard enough.”

“That’s besides the point, though. You can go. I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Mr. Dobrik promises as you both stand and he begins walking you to his door. He’s putting the doorstop in as you step out of his room, making sure you hear his Can’t wait to see what you come up with for me!

You stay up until 2AM ensuring everything is perfect.

[quarantingz]

oop mind dump(!), half-baked thoughts (!), usual confusion(!), being busy(!), efficiency(!), procrastination(!) & none of the above(!)

enjoy :))

[written on] 7 april, tuesday

[intended to post on] 7 april, tuesday

[intended to post 2.0 on] 8 april, wednesday

[finally posted, after much procrastination and probably just laziness, on] 9 april, thursday

Hi there!

With a lack of a profound statement to start off this entry, I’ll just say this…my mind is as scattered and non-sensical as ever! What’s new?

Second coffee in, I’m thinking about, as the title suggests, a lot of things (with as much caffeinated enthusiasm as it suggests)! I definitely didn’t think I was going to be writing a post today because I thought yesterday’s entry [monday’s] was heavy enough that I could simmer and ponder over it for a while longer. But I guess, as things go, and because I naturally must write things down, I need to write everything that’s going on in my head right now - before I forget, but also so I can pRoCeSs it :)

I will definitely not get through everything I think I want to write about in this one post, and for the sake of keeping it short and still somewhat legible and engaging, I will try my best. Maybe I will do a part two (??). Hmmm maybe I won’t haha. We’ll see how this goes.

Here we go…enjoy…

So as I was swinging my arms and getting a good stretch of the legs on our family “night” walk yesterday, Tali asked me, “did you have a good day today?”. It was a simple question and one I always answer with a “yeah kinda, did a few things, wish I did more, but tomorrow will be better!”. I like looking on the bright side, but it really got me thinking about what it means to be busy and how society has placed a lot of emphasis on it currently.

I recently read an article on It’s Nice That called, “You are More than Your Output”, which was an interesting read on this idea of “busyness”, the pressures on what we do for a living, self-definition from this and our relationship with work. Oosh, it was confronting and I definitely needed to discuss this with someone further. So of course I decided to send it to Gwen, Cullz and Paulz (there’s something so comforting and encouraging to know that I have people in my life who creatively challenge and most importantly, understand my journey as a creative, post-graduation).

Twas good discussions and what they said was so so good (got my brain juices flowing for sure), but I want to briefly touch on this topic and my thoughts about this…I love being busy, in fact, as I’ve mentioned before, I thrive off being busy. As bizarre as it sounds, I’m almost like an adrenaline junkie who gets off of busy schedules and long lists of TO-DOs. I like to ambitiously jam-pack my day with the most things I can do and “tick off” in ONE day. Sounds overwhelming and you’re probably thinking I’ll burn out eventually and I won’t always like this once I have a full-time job. But for now, I like that feeling. It makes me be and feel productive. And although I regularly remind my friends to take a break and relax in order to rejuvenate, I can’t seem to take this advice myself. I constantly feel like I’ve drunk five cups of coffee within 20 minutes, so my heart usually feels like it’s going to beat its way out of my chest, and my mind is so full, it’s almost incomprehensible and confusing.

Anyway, back to productivity…this feeling is probably the reason why I struggle with self-love a lot - if I’m not achieving everything on my list, I’m not being productive enough, it is not a “good day” and I’m not…“succeeding” in life. Which again, is all about MINDSET, people!

Yes, everything does comes with balance, prioritising and re-evaluating what’s the most important things in life at any given time. Sorry, but I feel like this entry will just raise more questions and half-baked thoughts (ha, managed to tick that off the list!), than actually solving anything.

I guess what I want to touch on here, is not so much on the debate about whether you should be busy or not, it’s more about dismantling these personal-constructs that we have in our minds…

Ahhh, another topic to elaborate on (solely) for another time I guess (…??).

*** SIDE-NOTE (COZ WE LOVE A SIDE-NOTE) ***

Right now [tuesday, 2.40pm], my eldest sister sits on the La-Z-Boy, rocking back and forth trying to write a new idea for a new script. My dad too, sits facing the same way as her towards the ranch slider and garden, bowl of sweet mung bean soup in hand, relaxing in a foldable picnic chair for his “break”. I can’t help but smile at this scene and feel very happy and content in where I am right now. It also makes me chuckle at the contrast of their peaceful reflections with my scattered mind and furious typing. My frantic fingers almost echo in the quiet space that is my living room. I like this. I had only wanted to write one word down for this entry before I forgot it (then finish this piece tomorrow, when I felt like it), but here I am having written over one page long. I’m also not listening to music, which is rare for me as I like dwelling in the emotions and vibe of the music while I write - it helps me as you know by now. But in this moment, it’s just Tema, my dad, me, my typing and my silent scattered thoughts.

*** END OF SIDE-NOTE (ACTUALLY A SMALL APPRECIATIVE-NOTE) ***

Back to the point…the mere act of typing furiously on my keyboard (ooh links!) actually makes me feel busy and definitely makes me look busy. When someone says, “oh Alyssa, you’re always so busy” or “bro, when are YOU free?”, it kind of makes me feel good - that I’m somehow “succeeding” in life because I actually have things to do. But isn’t it all superficial and just an appearance? Because in my mind, I’m not achieving as much as I want to do within a day or week. Anyway, maybe that’s why a lot of people, even myself, give into this idea of busyness - because we’re fed this belief that to be “successful”, means that we not only occupy ourselves to the max, but we look the part too. That’s apparent in any bustling city, like Auckland, or London and Paris. People are constantly moving and doing things. These cities never sleep and apparently that idea means those cities and people are thriving and being “successful”.

I guess another aspect I want to discuss is the idea of efficiency. For some reason, that word is so mockable, but maybe that’s just because my boyfriend uses that word excessively and I like to laugh at him (because he’s silly, not because I’m a bully, woah, CHILL). So to be busy, and therefore “successful” is also associated with being efficient. Which also relates to B, who applies lip balm VERY STRANGELY, but efficiently…he applies it by swiping the stick across his top and bottom lip at the same time, followed by a giddy “EFFICIENCY G!” EVERY. TIME. This is quite like the idea of “killing two birds with one stone”. The idea of doing the most you can and preferably at the same time in order to optimise time. It also links with the saying, “time is of the essence”. Because we have such a limited time on Earth, people feel like they have to fill everyday and every waking hour doing something - or else we feel unproductive and ultimately a “failure”. I’m not saying everyone feels like this (I do), or that efficiency is stupid and entirely negative. I think it’s entirely individual and lies within our perceptions of the things we actually do and hope to do. Everything is relative (??).

Which brings me to the subject of procrastination. For example, in the span it has taken me to write this blog post, I’ve made myself a bowl of plain porridge for my late 2pm lunch (oop photo reference - twas really nice actually), a toastie with salami, sweet thai chilli sauce, harissa sauce and a lot of pepper (odd mix I know), which I had at 4pm, but now consider as my dinner coz now I’m stuffeddddd. I’ve also made hummus (which I think I want to write about next - there’s a metaphor in there that I want to exploit lol) for the fam, folded all of the whites and made the cinnamon apple filling for Tema and I’s mini pies. Talk about procrastination…see here, maybe this isn’t “procrastination”!

The issue lies in how we prioritise and give importance to certain things in our life. And in this case, I’m still being “busy”, but my perception of what I’ve done is that these are menial tasks - they are of lesser importance and priority compared to other things on my to-do list. Again, it is all relative. This comparison between certain things we do is what makes us fall into this trap of self-punishment and “failure” (again, maybe it’s just me). So when we do the thing that seems less important, we consequently feel unproductive . But I had been meaning to make hummus since last week, and I intended to eat lunch at 12.30pm, but got too busy looking through some design concepts for my friend, AND I was meant to fold the whites so my dad could have a clean set of singlets for this week. And lol, I wanted to make pie filling because we all craved something sweet (can’t we just do things just coz?). Looking over these, all of them are important! But why do we prioritise our jobs as so and essentially, degrade our life choices??!

Okay, I think I’m going to wrap this up because there’s no point to this entry anymore. But it was interesting to type out all these random thoughts and somehow try to weave them together. But as always, this is just a ramble. You're confused, I’m confused, we’re ALL confused.

(Or maybe I wanted to see whether you could keep up with my 100 mph train of thoughts hehe)

So to tie everything up in a big, definitely-not-an-indecisive-red-or-maybe-blue-nah-feelin-green-now-BOW…be busy, don’t be busy. Procrastinate, don’t procrastinate. BUT, be kinder to yourself. You don’t have to be busy nor productive - give yourself some slack, you’re doing the best you can! So practice SeLf-LoVe.

You owe yourself thatttt much :)

p.s. I think this post was more me procrastinating about writing and posting, because clearly, I took my time procrastinating and eventually posting three days later than when I first wrote this.

Anyway, have a great day y’all (productive or busy or none of the above)!

- a

[hystericalrogertaylor]

Reconnecting (Chapter Seventeen)

Pairing: Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor X Reader

Word count: 1693

Summary: (Y/n) and Roger have been friends since the cradle. When they’re suddenly pulled apart and reconnected years later, they both can tell that the relationship has evolved. They lead very different lifestyles now. Can they continue what they had, or go for something more, with this gap between them?

Warnings: Talking about anxiety/anxiety attacks, mentions of sex, cussing

A/N: Pffffff I’m way off of my updating schedule. I’m updating this from a hospital bed lmao. Nothing bad, just having a minor operation tomorrow morning. I’ll make a post about this, but I probably won’t be that active tomorrow, and that’s why. Enjoy this chapter!

My masterlist with all my other stories and the previous parts of this story can be found there! Reblog this with feedback if you liked it! Or if you didn’t like it and want to vent about how shitty it is, reblog it anyway! 

~~~

Three months after first laying in bed with Roger as a couple, you were squeezed into his bunk on the bus as the vehicle rumbled down the road, away from Market Square Arena in Indianapolis. He had his shirt off, with the curtain drawn to give you two some privacy. He was sweaty, but you didn’t care as you lay on top of him, kissing him passionately. He had his hands up your shirt, his fingers almost tickling you as they gently ran up and down your sides.

You broke the kiss, panting heavily as you buried your face in his neck. “You looked really good tonight.”

He let out a low chuckle, reaching a hand down to squeeze your ass. “I always do better when you’re watching.” You tried to make it to every show, but sometimes Reid needed help with some manager stuff, or sometimes you were in pain and wanted to lie down. The wound had healed really well and you rarely needed to take it easy anymore, but there was the odd day when you had to sit out of the day’s festivities.

You smiled, pressing a gentle kiss onto his jaw. “No, I mean you looked really hot. I just couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

He smirked, slowly rolling over until he was on top of you. “Well, to be fair, I’m always thinking about kissing you.”

You blushed, turning your face to the side. “Stopppp.”

He used a finger to tilt your face back towards his, pressing a short kiss on your lips. He sighed, twirling a piece of your hair. “God, you’re beautiful.”

You bit your lip, bringing his face back down to yours a few seconds later. He moaned quietly into the kiss, putting his hand on the wall of the bunk above your head.

“Ugh, guys, there are other people trying to sleep here,” Brian grumbled, rustling around in his much-too-small bunk. “I was gonna let it slide, but you guys sounds like you’re dying to fuck each other. Not cool.”

Roger broke away, rolling his eyes. “I’m well aware that these bunks are too small to fuck in. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

You sighed. “Rog, I’m right here.”

“Oops, sorry.” He grimaced, remembering you don’t like hearing about his past hookups, which was reasonable. “Brian, I’m allowed to kiss my girlfriend.”

“Until it wakes us up,” Freddie chimed in. “I love that my favorite couple are happy, but I’m exhausted. So please, speak quietly.”

You chuckled. “Goodnight, Freddie.”

“Goodnight darling, use a condom.”

“FREDDIE!” Roger shouted, eliciting a loud shushing noise from Brian. John continued to sleep soundly.

---

A couple weeks later came a series of three concerts in Santa Monica. Reid decided it would be best for the band to stay in a hotel for that time period. Freddie researched the most lavish hotels in the area, and found one similar to the hotel in Liverpool. He purposely got four rooms so you and Roger could share. Not that you minded; it would mean less cramped sleeping than on the bus, and you still got to be with your boyfriend.

The concept of having Roger Taylor as your boyfriend still baffled you sometimes. James had made you feel worthless in the final months of your relationship, and now someone as amazing as Roger was willing to publicly admit to being in a relationship with you. The thought made your heart swell.

And Roger couldn’t understand how he managed to end up with you, either. He was a notorious womanizer of the rock world, which made long-term relationships very difficult; look at his relationship with Gayle. All they did was shag and fight. Now, he was able to do normal relationship things, like staying up late and giggling, kissing whenever, talking about deep topics, and cuddling. You were a serial cuddler, and Roger loved it. He loved holding your body against his and feeling the warmth radiating off of you. It was the time spent with you, in those intimate moments, that made Roger happier than he’d ever been.

“I have an idea,” Roger said, sitting down next to you on the couch in your room.

You pulled your knees to your chest, setting your book down on the table next to you. “Well, do tell.”

He cleared his throat. “So you know how the pier is only a few minutes’ walk away, right?” You nodded. “Well, what if I took you there tomorrow, after the show, as our first official date as a couple?”

You’d been talking to Roger about a date, but he’d been so busy during the whole tour that he hadn’t been able to put anything together. You were okay with it, you just wished it could’ve been different. Now, you were smiling as wide as you could. “I would love that,” you said.

Roger returned your smile, tackling you into a hug. You both fell off the couch, lying on the floor next to each other. You began to laugh, while Roger pushed his hair out of his face, staring up at the ceiling.

“Whoops,” he breathed, chuckling. “Sorry.”

You grimaced, trying to ignore the pain in your stomach; the scar didn’t like aggravation like that. “It’s fine.”

He rolled over, hovering over you with his elbow on the floor. “Did it hurt the scar?”

“A little, but it’ll be fine tomorrow morning.” You tried to sit up, but before you could, Roger brought his lips down to yours. You put your head back down on the floor, pulling him on top of you. He put his forearms on either side of your head, holding himself up. Your hands explored his chest over his shirt, feeling the muscles bulging after the exercise he got by playing the drums at the concert. He broke away, moving his lips down to your neck. You groaned, digging your fingers into his hair.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Roger murmured into your skin.

You nodded. “My scar hurts.”

He placed a kiss on your forehead before standing up, holding his hand down to help you up. You pulled yourself up and walked over to one of the beds, gently laying down on your side. Roger lay down next to you, pulling you into his body. You sighed in contentment, drawing circles on his chest with your finger.

“Goodnight, love,” Roger whispered.

“Goodnight, Rog.”

---

The pier was scaring you, if you were being honest.

For some reason, you were worried you’d turn around at any moment, and he would be there, a knife in hand, ready to end you. You knew it was irrational, he was in prison on a different continent. But your anxiety was flaring up, and all the people around you didn’t make it better.

“What’s wrong?” Roger asked as you nudged the hot dog he’d bought you, not even taking a bite.

“I’m anxious,” you answered honestly. You didn’t see any point in hiding your worries from him.

He sighed. “Do you want to go back to the hotel?”

You shook your head. “I love being here with you, I just don’t like being around all these people.” You took a shaky breath. “I’m too worried he could be in these crowds.” Roger’s sad eyes made you wish you hadn’t said anything. You didn’t want to be a burden to him. “Forget it, let’s just--”

“Wait.” He grabbed your hand, squeezing it. “You know how we can get out of these crowds?” You frowned. “Let’s go on the Ferris wheel.”

You smiled. “That sounds fun,” you whispered.

Roger held you close as you made your way through the throngs of people towards the giant wheel. You stared at your feet, not looking up at anything until you were in line for the ride. Roger had his arm around your waist, trying his hardest to make sure no one bumped into you.

Once it was your turn, Roger paid a small fee and guided you towards the compartment that would be yours. You sat down next to him, placing your head on his shoulder as the machine began to move.

“Thank you,” you said, looking into his eyes. “I feel like I would’ve had an actual anxiety attack if I’d stayed down there longer.”

“No problem.” He wrapped an arm around your waist. “Your fears are not irrational. But just know I’m here to help you and keep you safe. No one’s gonna touch you.”

You sniffled, a few tears running down your face. “You’re amazing.”

He smiled. “Only for you.”

The ferris wheel stopped, and you noticed you were at the very top. “They must be letting someone else on,” you reasoned.

Roger looked over the side of the car. “Wow,” he said. “You’ve gotta check this out.”

You peered over the same side, gasping at what you saw. All the lights, the skyline, and the ocean at your back all worked together to create the most beautiful scene you’d ever seen. It was breathtaking. The world had never seemed so beautiful.

“Roger, this is…” You looked over at him, finding him staring at you. “What?”

His eyes flicked down to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “You are the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.”

You hid your face in your hands. “Ahh, I’m blushing.”

He grabbed your wrists and pulled your hands away gently. “Can I kiss you?” he asked slowly. You nodded, and he slowly placed his lips on yours.

It was something else. The cold breeze gave you goosebumps, causing you to shiver and move closer to Roger. He wrapped both arms around you, almost pulling you into his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tilting your head to the side.

“(Y/n)?” he asked, pulling away and placing his forehead on yours. His lips still brushed against yours, and you wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.

“Yeah?” you responded.

“I…” He trailed off, moving his eyes to look at the ocean before looking back at you. “I’m having a great time.”

You nodded. “I am too.”

He reconnected his lips to yours just as the wheel began to spin.

Taglist:

@thessxoxo @roger-bang-the-drum @slavsher @sabbrrriinnaa @i-ship-it-ironically @blissfully-queen @oyoke@borhapqueen92@girlpluto @secretsweetscollectionblog@bentaylorrogerhardy@16wiishes @emmieliabedelia @onevisionliz@mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank@rebelrebelyourefaceisamess @cosmicsskies@thewinchesterchronicles @florenceivy @benhardyseyes@letmelivetaylor @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @holding-onto-cas

[zoeykaytesmom]

What Is Life?

Description: I am taking my OC from A03, and putting her and Rafael Barba in a different universe of how they meet. I’m new to posting on here so it might take me a little bit to figure this out lol. The title comes from a George Harrison song; it’ll make more sense the longer the story goes.

@xemopeachx @sweetsummertime99 @lyssa1385 @tropes-and-tales @esparza-army @jramirezblogs @thatesparzacrush

September 1989

“Ma why do we have to switch schools for our Freshman year?” Anthony Rossetti Jr, or Tony as he was called, practically whined while his mother, Stella fixed breakfast.

“Stop whining, Junior,” his twin sister, Elizabeth or Izzy, said as she came in the kitchen, holding her blue and white plaid tie. “Ma a little help?”

“You two are going to have to learn to tie these yourselves,” Stella laughed as she took the tie from her daughter.

Stella Rossetti had accepted a position as the guidance counselor at a Catholic school in the South Bronx, after spending many years teaching high school English at a public school in their Brooklyn neighborhood of Bensonhurst.

“And to answer your question, Junior, the schools in this neighborhood are getting worse. Plus, since I work there, your dad and I don’t have to pay tuition. Also, you two have basically went to school with the same people all your lives and it wouldn’t hurt you to make some new friends.”

“Isn’t that what college is for?” Tony asked with a mouth full of eggs.

“Could you be anymore disgusting?”

“Come on, sis, you like seafood.”

“Junior, stop being gross,” their father said as he came in for breakfast.

FDNY Lieutenant Anthony Rossetti Sr. had come in from his shift around 6 am. He wanted to see his kids off to their first day of their freshman year and to wish his wife of 17 years luck on her first day of her new position.

“Come on, kids. Hurry up and finish your breakfast. We don’t want to be late,” Stella told her twins.

“God, we’re gonna look like such nerd riding to school with our Mom,” Tony muttered. “Well, you more than me, sis.”

Izzy had braces and Tony had teased her non-stop since she got them in the summer.

“Leave your sister alone, Junior,” Anthony instructed his namesake as he loaded his plates with the scrambled eggs and bacon his wife had made.

*****

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Izzy said after she bumped into a guy, whose locker was next to hers, causing her books to fall into the floor.

“It’s okay,” he told her with a kind tone. “Hey, weren’t you in my 4th period AP Biology class?”

“Uh…yeah,” she sort of stammered as she looked into the guys green eyes. “Izzy…”

“Rossetti. I remember. You’re the daughter of our new guidance counselor.”

“That’s me,” she sort of chuckled as she took a book from his hand.

“I’m Rafael. Rafael Barba.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rafael.”

“You, too,” he smiled as he helped her to her feet.

“Hey, Ra-ffi.”

“Hey, Eddie, Alex. This is Izzy Rossetti.”

“Hi,” she said as she sort of waved at them.

“Rossetti? Uh-oh. You’re the counselor’s daughter,” Eddie teased.

“Yeah, that’s me,” she repeated.

“Well, welcome to Monsignor Scanlan High School,” Alex said with smarmy smile that Izzy uncomfortable.

“So, what’s your next class?” Rafael asked her.

“Uh, lunch, actually.”

“Us too. You want to join us?”

“Maybe another time, Rafael. I need to find my brother.”

“I’m gonna hold you to it,” he smiled.

“It was nice to meet you guys,” she told Alex and Eddie before heading to the cafeteria.

“That girl is hot,” Eddie told Rafael.

“I don’t know about the braces,” Alex mentioned.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Rafi. You don’t want that amount of metal near your dick if she’s giving you head.”

“Seriously, man?!”

“I’m just saying. I mean, yeah, she is hot but those braces are scary.”

“I think they’re cute,” Rafael added.

“Uh-oh. Our boy has a crush,” Eddie laughed.

“Come on. I’m hungry,” Rafael told them as they headed to the cafeteria.

********************

“Baby girl why are you eating lunch in my office?” Stella asked her daughter.

“I don’t fit in here, Ma.”

“It’s been a half a day. Have you met anyone?”

“Well…I met a guy,” Izzy said with a small smile.

“Really? Is he cute?”

“Unbelievably so, Mom. His name is Rafael Barba.”

“Barba…Barba? I wonder if he’s Lucia’s son?”

“Who?”

“You remember Lucia Barba. She taught with me at PS 128.”

“Sort of,” Izzy shrugged as she picked at the cheeseburger she had got from the cafeteria.

“What happened to my daughter that didn’t meet a stranger?”

“I don’t know.”

“She’s still there,” Stella chuckled as she took a bite of her own cheeseburger.

“Why are me and Tony on different schedules?”

“Because I thought it would be best. You two have been joined at the hip since before you were born. You need to make new friends, meet new people.”

“I guess.”

The first bell rang, signaling to the 11:30 lunchers that they had 10 minutes to get to their 6th period class.

“I gotta go, Ma. Thanks for letting me have lunch with you.”

“Of course, baby girl. I know this is different from public school but you’re gonna do great.”

“Thanks.”

Izzy headed to her AP American History class.

“Ah, yes, Miss Rossetti. There is an empty desk next to Mr. Barba. Rafael, raise your hand so Elizabeth can find her desk.”

“It’s Izzy,” she told her teacher as she made her way to the desk next to Rafael.

She opened her book to the page Mr. Cervantes had said and was doing her best to concentrate but her attention was mainly on Rafael. He had his hand up to answer any question that was asked.

“Miss Rossetti?”

“Huh?”

“What started World War I?”

“The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand from Austria,” she answered without missing a beat.

“Just making sure you were paying attention to something other than Mr. Barba.”

Some of the kids in the class giggled as she wanted to die in her seat.

***********

“Don’t let Cervantes get under your skin,” Rafael told her as they walked out of class.

“I was just amazed at your knowledge,” she lied.

“I like to read,” he shrugged as they walked down the hall. “Speaking of…did I see a copy of ‘Less Than Zero’ in your hand earlier?”

“You did. Bret Easton Ellis is one of my favorite authors.”

“I saw the movie…”

“Oh no. The movie and the book are so different. Julian, Robert Downey Jr’s character, doesn’t die in the book.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Have you ever read anything by Kurt Vonnegut?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

“You should. ‘Slaughterhouse Five’ is really good. I think you’d like it.”

“Well, I might have to check it out.”

“So, my friend Alex thinks you’re hot.”

“Yeah?” She asked, even though she didn’t want Alex to be one of the three to think she was hot.

“Yeah. You think you might be interested…”

“Not really. I mean, no offense but I have basketball try-outs next week and honestly, he doesn’t seem like my type.”

“I understand,” Rafael chuckled. “So, you’re an athlete, huh?”

“I’ve been playing basketball since I was 10. You?”

“The only thing I play is Chess…and Nintendo.”

“I could give you a run for your money.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve beat Super Mario Brothers 1 & 2 several times.”

He laughed at her joke.

“I could probably kick your ass at Chess, too, though.”

“Challenge accepted, Rossetti,” he told her with a smirk.

*********

“Hey, you’re Izzy, right?” A girl with brown hair asked as she opened the other locker next to Izzy’s.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Erin Harris. We have History together.”

“Right, yeah. You sit in the back.”

“So Mr. Cervantes will leave me alone. How do you like it here so far?”

“It’s been a week,” Izzy shrugged. “It’s not so bad, I guess. I’ve just been used to public school all my life.”

“I know the feeling. My parents made me transfer here to the junior high last year because I kept ‘getting in trouble’,” Erin laughed.

“I see.”

“I’m not that bad. Honestly. Just hung around with the wrong crowd. Dying my hair pink was the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“Wow.”

“So, uh, you like Rafael?”

Izzy was a little taken aback by Erin’s blunt question. “Wha-what do you mean?”

“I sit behind you and see the way you stare at him during class.”

“I mean…he’s cute,” she shrugged.

“Well, he’s in love with Yelina Ortiz so, don’t get your hopes up.”

“Who’s she?”

“Come on. She has the same lunch we do. I’ll show her to you.”

After Izzy and Erin sat down with their diet cokes and nachos they had gotten from the a la carte table, Erin pointed out Yelina to Izzy. She was tall, long dark hair, and very beautiful dark skin. Izzy gave up any hope of dating Rafael in that instance. She saw the way he practically fawned over her; Alex did, too, though.

“Are they dating?”

“No. That’s the thing. He follows her everywhere but she only dates older guys.”

“How do you know this?”

“It was like that last year in eighth grade even. It’s kinda sad cause he’s a very nice guy. Really sweet.”

Just then, across the lunch room, Rafael looked up to see Izzy looking at him. He sort of smiled, causing her to blush and look back to Erin.

“He’s coming over here.”

“No, he’s not.”

“If you’re gonna make the basketball team, shouldn’t you be eating better?” Rafael teased as he took a seat at their table. “Hey, Erin.”

“What’s up?”

“It doesn’t hurt to cheat once in a while,” Izzy giggled. “Hey! Don’t you have your own lunch?”

“I already ate it,” he smiled as he popped the cheese drenched chip in his mouth.

Izzy couldn’t help but laugh at the cheese that had dripped onto his chin.

“What?”

“You got…you…here,” she told him as she wiped his chin.

“Oops,” he laughed. Erin nudged Izzy and discreetly motioned toward Yelina, who was burning a hole through Izzy at that very moment.

“I think you’re…uh…friend is getting a little jealous.”

“She’ll be fine,” Rafael told her as he continued to sit with Erin and Izzy for the remainder of lunch before their history class.

The three of them walked down the hall after lunch to their class. Erin took the desk directly behind Izzy instead of her normal seat in the very back.

“You’re in my seat, Erin,” Bradley Walker told her.

“Now it’s mine. There’s a few other empty ones.”

“Ugh, whatever.”

********************

“You’re not going to the winter formal?”

“No, Ma,” Izzy answered as they worked on dinner one night in November.

“Why not. We could get you a beautiful dress, get your hair done…”

“No one’s asked me,” she shrugged.

“I thought Alex Munoz asked you. That’s what your brother said.”

“I can’t stand Alex, Ma. And he didn’t ask me. He told me I was gonna go with him more or less. I don’t need someone making decisions for me.”

“He was probably just playing around.”

“Still…there is nothing attractive about him whatsoever.”

“Well, you and Erin could always go with each other. Surely guys would ask you to dance.”

“Maybe.”

“Do you know this girl your brother is taking?”

“Heather? A little, not well though. She seems nice enough.”

“How’s my two favorite girls?” Anthony asked as he kissed his wife on the cheek.

“Good. How’d you sleep?”

“Decent enough. Uh, Izz, there’s someone in the living room to see you.”

“Me? Who?”

“That boy that hangs out with your brother.”

“That could be anybody, Pop.”

“I can’t keep all his friend’s straight. Just go see. I can finish helping your mother.”

“Okay.”

She opened the kitchen door and found Rafael, still in his school uniform.

“Hey, Raf,” she smiled. “My dad did tell you Tony was…”

“Yeah, I know. I came to see you, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You know the winter formal is in a few weeks?”

“I’m aware,” she laughed.

“Your brother said you didn’t have a date and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?”

“Uh…uh…”

“It’s just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” he said with a smirk.

“I just thought maybe you’d go with Yelina.”

“Yelina?” He laughed. “Please. She wouldn’t go to the dance with a nerd like me.”

“You’re not a nerd,” she told him as she tilted her head. “And yes, I’d like to go with you.”

“Are you saying that out of pity or because you really want to go with me?”

“I’d really like to go with you.”

“Then it’s a date. I’ll see you school at tomorrow.”

“Rafael what brings you by?” Stella asked after she came out of the kitchen.

“I…uh…I just asked your daughter if she’d like to escort me to the winter formal.”

“Is that right? And what did you say, Elizabeth Machelle?”

“Well, of course, she said ‘yes’, Mrs. Rossetti.”

“Jeez, Rafael,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes.

“Well, I am finishing up manicotti that my son asked for but he can’t keep himself at home so you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner.”

“I should probably get home.”

“Nonsense. I’ll call your mom.”

“Oh, okay. Sure, thanks.”

Stella called Lucia who said it was fine if Rafael stayed for dinner and Anthony said he would make sure he got home instead of taking the subway back to the Bronx.

********************

Izzy had found a simple, strapless black mid-length dress with sequins but not too flashy at all.

Rafael showed up in a black 3-piece suit with a red tie. Izzy was impressed to say the least. She had only seen him in his school uniform, other than the few times he had come over on the weekends in jeans and t-shirts.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled at his date when she came down stairs. Her blond hair was done in ringlets which had given her a headache as they were being done but a couple of Advil later, she was fine and ready to go.

“Thanks, Raf. You look…pretty good, too.”

“And we all know, I look great,” Tony laughed.

“Okay, Tony. Where’s your date?”

“We’re picking her up on the way, Dad. Thanks again for getting us the car.”

“Well, I thought it was better than you guys taking a cab or the subway.”

“Yeah, thanks, Mr. Rossetti.”

“Not a problem, Rafael. I want my daughter home by 11.”

“Yes, sir.”

“If there’s one hair on her head out of place…”

“Dad!!!”

“I’m just kidding, princess. You guys have fun.”

They let Stella take a few pictures before they left. They sat in the town car, Rafael’s legs bouncing as he nervously ran his hands on his knees.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, Izz,” he smiled to which Tony just sort of laughed, earning a nudge in his ribs from his sister.

***************

They finally arrived at the “Winter Wonderland” formal dance. It was basically a prom for the Freshman and Sophomores.

“There you are!!” Erin exclaimed when she saw Izzy walk in with Rafael.

“I told you I’d be here,” Izzy laughed at her now best friend.

“You look amazing. Doesn’t she, Rafael?”

“Yes, Erin. I already told her she looked great.”

“Come on, let’s dance.”

“Erin…”

“It’s okay, cariño. Go have fun. I’ll get us something to drink,” Rafael told her. She didn’t know what “cariño” meant but it didn’t sound bad.

Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” blasted over the speakers as Izzy and Erin danced while they laughed and sang along.

She noticed Rafael sitting at a table with Eddie and Alex as he watched her.

Erin had actually went to the dance with Eddie so they went to sit with their dates.

Soon Depeche Mode’s “Just Can’t Enough” started playing.

“Dance with me, Raf?”

“I don’t really like to dance.”

“Come on. It’ll be fun,” Izzy told him.

“What the hell?” He shrugged as he took her hand and led her to the dance floor. She didn’t understand why he didn’t like to dance because the boy sure knew how to move. Robert Palmer’s “Simply Irresistible” came on next so the two of them continued to dance.

“How about a break? Some food maybe?”

“Uh, sure, Raf,” Izzy agreed as she was working up an appetite after dancing.

After a few snacks and a couple more glasses of punch, Erin grabbed Izzy as The Romantics “Talking in Your Sleep” started playing.

“So, uh, what’s up with you and Rossetti?” Alex asked.

“We’re friends,” Rafael told them. “She didn’t have a date and neither did I so I asked her…”

“Rafi?”

“Uh…hey, Yelina.”

“Your date seems to be more into her best friend than you.”

“She’s just having fun,” he shrugged. “We’re just friends. It’s not like she has to be by my side the whole time.”

“Hey, Yelina, you want to dance?” Alex asked.

“No thanks, Alex. My date is getting us something to drink,” she said as she motioned to the Senior that she had been dating, Riley Watkins.

Izzy noticed Yelina and immediately grabbed Erin and headed back to the table. She promptly took her seat next to Rafael, pushing Yelina out of the way with her butt.

“Izzy. I wondered why you were leaving this poor guy all alone,” Yelina snarked.

“Hey, Raf, you want to join me for another dance?” She asked as Billy Idol’s “Hot in the City” started playing.

“You bet,” he smiled.

They continued to dance. They were even warned by one of the teachers that was chaperoning that they were a little too close. Izzy wanted to make a move on him so bad.

“You know, I really like the red and green rubber bands you have on your braces,” he told her as they danced to Journey’s “Open Arms”.

“Uh, thanks,” she said as she felt her face get hot. She was so glad it was dark enough that he couldn’t see her blush.

“Would it be okay if I…” he asked as he moved in closer to her, making her heart skip a beat.

“Can I cut in?” Yelina had the audacity to ask.

Izzy knew Rafael was in love with her and actually let her.

She went to the bathroom with Erin following close behind.

“What the hell was that?”

“What?”

“You let Yelina dance with him? Are you crazy?!”

“What was I gonna say?”

“How about, ‘fuck no! He’s here with me,’?”

“We’re just friends.”

“He was about to kiss you.”

“No, he wasn’t.”

“Are you that fucking oblivious?!”

“Erin…”

“Her date left. She’s here alone now. She’s trying to swoop in on your guy.”

“He’s not my guy.”

“I’m just trying to help you, here.”

“I’m fine, Erin. Really.”

Rafael had went looking for Izzy after sharing half a dance with Yelina and found her coming from the bathroom of their school’s gym.

“Hey, you want another dance?”

“Actually, I think I’d like to go home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m getting tired. Erin has been wearing me out,” she lied.

“Oh. Okay. Do you want me to find Tony and Heather?”

“They still have an hour before curfew. I can catch a cab.”

“No, you can’t. You came with me and I’m going to make sure you get home safely.”

“I’ve got her,” Erin said with a glare.

“Erin I can get her home. It’s fine.”

“I’m going with you then.”

“Whatever.”

************

Erin told Eddie she was ready to leave so he decided he’d go, too, even though she told him he didn’t have to.

Tony told his twin that he had enough money to get a cab for him and Heather and for her to take the car their dad had gotten for them.

The ride to Bensonhurst was a quiet one. Once the driver pulled up to Izzy’s house, she and Erin got out but Rafael insisted on walking Izzy to the door.

“I had a good time tonight with you.”

“Yeah, me too,” she smiled.

Erin leaned against the porch wall with her arms crossed, her eyes shooting daggers into Rafael.

“Erin can you give us a minute?”

“Uh no,” Erin replied to Rafael.

“Here’s my key, Erin. Just go up to my room.”

“If you say so, Izz,” she scoffed as she took the key chain from her best friend and unlocked the door.

“So, I guess I’ll see you Monday?”

“Yeah, Rafael,” Izzy nodded.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight.”

“I had a good time.”

“I’m glad. Well, I guess I should be going.”

“Okay.”

He started to move closer to her but the kiss landed on her cheek instead of her lips like she had hoped.

They said one last good-bye before she went inside.

[emblemevents-newyear]

A Look At the Winter Event, the Future For Us, and Another Farewell Until Next Time!

Hi everyone! Mod Morgan here! Well, here we are again. It’s always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to kill me twice?-...wait, no, get out of here GLaDOS, Fire Emblem isn’t even your game! Another solstice passed, and another event finished. And it, ah, certainly was an eventful week, wasn’t it? I mean, aside from the event itself obviously. There were a lot of things that we weren’t prepared for, a number of them that were out of our control this time, but we had even more participants this time around than during the last Solstice! I hope this event seems like as much of a success to you guys as it does to us!

Before we get into our expressions of eternal gratefulness to you guys, however, I would like to preface this by getting a couple of things out of the way first. First of all, a short apology on my end. Between finals, trying to buckle in and work really hard to put this event together, and tumblr’s awful sense of timing, at least for us, among a few other things, we all got frazzled and a bit exhausted, and I think all that exasperation it seeped into a couple of my posts, more than I would’ve liked it to. If you didn’t notice it or didn’t think that it was that big of a problem, I’m glad it didn’t bother you, but I’m sorry for those that it did, because I know that it didn’t go unnoticed, and letting it impact some of my posts was really on me.  I hope you don’t think any of you guys caused any of that exhaustion though, because it’s just the opposite!...speaking of which...

...Tumblr sure picked the worst possible time, didn’t it? We don’t blame any of you for participating in the log out event, and honestly, had we not prepared this event’s schedule ahead of time, and based it around...you know...the solstice...because it’s the solstice event, there’s a good chance at least some of us if not all four of us would have done the same. I’m just glad we had the insight to poll you guys and that we managed to come up with something to tide everyone over until the next day, when we had to reschedule the sled races to. Thanks for sticking with us despite what happened, really, and to make another proper segue since I’m on that point... Seriously, thanks to all of you, once again. for sticking with us and taking part in this event. As I said, I’m pretty sure we had even more people participating than last time, which means this event and the community it’s building is growing, and that’s a good thing! We want people to feel welcome and comfortable here, above all else, and meet interesting new people...and have fun event-based interactions with those you already know of course. Maybe next summer, Tumblr won’t do something to add on to the stress for us and we’ll be 110% prepared ahead of time without a hectic pace in the last couple of weeks leading up to the event! I’m definitely going to try to adopt Morgan’s optimism as I often do with these events and use that to drive me next time around. Anyway, you know the drill! I’m rambling on way too much, and we still have three other mods that wanna talk to you guys, so it’s time to let each of them have their turns!

Mod Eliwood here; while I’d like to keep this short, there are a few things I want to acknowledge. First, as short notice as it was, I want to place a huge shoutout to mods Lyn and Hector, who together did the lion’s share of coming up with the mechanics and numbers for the Yggdratrail. Secondly- yes, it was short notice. I’m sure many of you noticed that the mechanics seemed too complex, our writing was rushed here and there, and everything went up... late in the day. Part of that last bit was us noticing a lack of activity on the dash and accommodating the afternoon hours instead of the morning one, but poor time management and panic on our part also factored in.

That said, several of you have approached me in person and told me you were enjoying the event, and that made it worth it. I genuinely enjoyed being part of this one, and with activities and ideas that were our own, it felt more satisfying to run than the Summer edition too.

We don’t yet know if we’ll be doing a Summer Solstice next year- we’ll have to discuss schedules with the Scramble Squad first. But if we do, I definitely hope to see a good few of you there!

// yooooo Mod Hector and just gonna make this one brief if my fellow mods have already expressed what I wanted to day. As before, I wanted to thank everyone for the support along the way as we hosted our second event for the community. Coming from a personal view, it still is a lot to manage so I’m always thankful for having my fellow mods to give advice, and of course the participants for contributing as much as they can.

I do want to apologize too bc I know my activity’s staggered after the Yggdratrail and I wanted to do a lot more to involve myself in all the activities going on. It’s certainly something I want to work on for the next time, especially knowing that my current job plays a factor in it all. Again, thank you for bearing with me here and my multimuse too!

Sooooo I’d be repeating myself here but I can’t say thanks enough for helping make this event what it was in the end, and looking forward, I hope to meet new people and see what else others have in store!!!

And here’s Mod Lyn! I got way more caught up in school stuff than I expected, so I want to thank Mod Eliwood for being the one to get the ball rolling and poke everyone about everything this time. I wish I could have been around more for the second half, but real life struck...in any case, I’m glad to see people enjoying and participating in the event, especially new faces. 

....And although I know the Yggdratrail was probably super confusing when I was braindumping it all out, I’m glad that we managed to turn it into what it was (and it was soo much more complex before the current iteration too oops), and glad that the other mods could put up with my jumbled thoughts and rambles until we came up with something. I hope you all enjoyed the writeups -- though I admit there were some points where I was struggling, on the whole it was still fun to come up them!

And despite the hiccup that was our friend the Community Guidelines update, I like to think the rest of the event went fairly smoothly! I won’t say too much, so I’ll wrap up with a similar message -- I hope you all had fun, we couldn’t hold this events without you guys’ support, and see you next time!

So, I guess it’s back to me to wrap things up. First of all, much like everyone else, I want to thank Mod Eliwood especially for helping keep us in gear and really getting us kick-started, and I also want to thank Mod Lyn for coming up with a system for the Yggdratrail that wound up working surprisingly well, though hopefully if we do this again, everything will be a bit-better ironed out and streamlined for everyone. But I want to also thank Mod Hector so much for helping pick up the slack and being there when I needed someone else’s support when everyone else was busy. I really wouldn’t have survived this event without you, for sure. And while I’m sure the message has gotten across well enough by now, seriously, I want to thank all of you for taking part and making this community grow a little more with this event. I will never, ever be able to express my gratitude enough, and hopefully you made some new friendships or strengthened some old ones through our humble little corner of FE community.

So, that leaves the question of what’s next for the Solstice Celebration blog? Well, we’re already looking ahead to the next Summer Solstice, and so long as the schedule of events lines up similarly to how it did around our first event, we’re definitely going to have our next event take place around then. However, the main event will certainly be a lot different. Whether we’ll consolidate the Obstacle Course down into a more compact version of what existed or build a new event, we’re not sure, but we’re gonna start brainstorming ideas once this event is wrapped up and we’ve gotten all your feedback-...and do keep an eye out for that feedback post, that’s coming up next. One thing we’re definitely going to do with the Summer Solstice event, however, is keep ourselves better prepared this time so it all comes out looking a lot cleaner, with less of a rushed panic, and less exhaustion for all of us, not to mention we’ll have a lot more time to work with, what with it being the Summer. 

So, once again, we all love you guys, and we hope you had fun being a part of our event! Take care of yourselves! We’ll still see you around the RP space as always...and sorry if we flood your dash with all the threads we need to catch up on. Until next time, welcome to the new season, and we hope you enjoy yourselves until the Solstice is upon us once more!

[charliebattinson]

MOVIN IN | Moving in with Shawn [BP] | Shawn Mendes

A/N: Hi here’s another bullpoint thingy haha. I’m planning on two other bps! Chrismas! Shawn and Best Friend! Shawn. Tell me if you want me to make them! Hope you like this! Feedback is welcomed! Much love xx

Moving in with Shawn:

You guys have been dating for so long

You and shawn are just probably having a late night drive

He just asks “y/n do you want to move in together?”

You love the idea but you tease him about it “why would ya want to move in together?”

“So I don’t have to pay full rent and someone can do my laundry and cook for me”

“Dick”

You happily agree though

You guys move into a cute place thats just right for you two with a cute little balcony

Boxes everywhere

Painting rooms together

Painting each other

“Do you know hard it is to remove this shit?”

First night in is just talking the whole night, planning on what to do next with the place and just being super happy

You sleep on the floor because you haven’t fixed the bed yet

Christening the whole place

“We gotta really clean the kitchen area”

Getting to know the neighbors

First weeks are just lazy, living through boxes and take outs

Its getting frustrating because you’re both searching for what you need in every box

“Where the fuck is the kettle”

“Oi we’re really need to unpack these boxes”

You eventually got everything unpacked

Shawn sees the makeup in the bathroom and he’s so confused by them

“Babe why are there paint brushes in the bathroom?”

Showers together

Shawn doing a mohawk while in the shower

“Rub my back and i’ll rub yours”

Attempting shower sex but you both just end up slipping

Taking bathtubs together

Shawns always so eager to drop the bath bomb

“LEMME DO IT”

Furniture shopping

Heading out to ikea and playing house. Watch this for visuals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARoB1nWPsxo

Assembling furniture together

“Did you know assembling ikea furniture is the greatest test of all relationships?”

When you guys thought you actually assembled it perfectly then you realized you screwed the wrong legs on all sides“

“Fuck this. We’re done”

Shawn buys random cooking appliances

“Why’d you buy this? You don’t even know what its for”

“IT LOOKED COOL OKAY”

Plant shopping too

You guys forget to water the plants tho

“I thought it was a fake plant”

“Shit we’d make horrible parents”

Grocery shopping

Sometimes you’d have late night grocery shopping and shawn would attempt to ride the cart

You’d be at the cereal area and shawn would just pretend not to know you and try to flirt with you and use pick up lines

“Do you like kellogs? Wanna frost my flakes?”

“Sorry but my idiot boyfriend is waiting for me”

Debating on what ice cream to get

“Fuck you we’re getting vanilla”

Trying to pick out wine because you’re feeling fancy

“How the fuck do you pick out a good wine?”

“Just get the fancy looking one, that probably tastes good”

Cooking dinner together while jamming to miguel tracks like told you so and pineapple skies

Shawn pulls you in for a dance

Teaching shawn how to cook

Him coming behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck, cheeks and shoulders while teaching him how to cook the chicken

It puts a smile to your lips cooking for two instead of always cooking for one

You’re both afraid to go near the pan because of the oil sizzling

Shawn joking around like he’s on a cooking show and acting like gordon ramsay

“Its fucking raw!”

Rock paper scissors on who has to clean the dishes and take out the trash

“HA SUCK IT BITCH” “shawn” “sorry”

Jamming to 80 and 90s tracks

“THIS IS HOW WEEEE DOOO ITTTT”

Sitting on the balcony sipping on wine

Slow dancing to “The Way You Look Tonight by Tony Bennett” by the fireplace

Also not knowing how to set the fire to the fireplace

“This looked easier in the movies”

Sex by the fireplace

Sleeping by the fireplace naked

Doing laundry

“SHAWN YOUR SUPPOSE TO SEPARATE THE WHITES FROM THE COLORED ONES”

“oops”

One of his tops shrinks 2 sizes

“Honestly shawn how did you survive living alone?”

“I ask that myself too”

When you guys fight or have arguments he sleeps in the couch but you miss having him there in the bed so you go to the couch and he gives you some space to sleep beside him

Afternoon naps in the couch

You would go home to see shawn sprawled on the couch shirtless and only jeans writing lyrics

“Yeah i can get used to this view”

Sex on the couch

Lazy sundays

Naked sundays

“Sundays should be spent naked”

Midnight snack raiding the fridge in just your underwears

Shawn surprising you with  breakfast in bed

“You just bought this in the local bakeshop didn't you? You didn't cook anything”

“Yeahp”

You guys try baking one time

Total fail.

It just ended up as a food fight and making out on the kitchen counter and shawn covered in flour and you covered in eggs

Camping out in the rooftop 

You ask the landlord if you can leave a sofa type of furniture there

The rooftop also becomes a place to unwind and have a beer

Movie marathon

You guys attempt to watch all 8 harry potter films

You guys fell asleep midway through the first

“Fuck I’m getting old”

“Babe have you seen my keys?”

“Babe have you seen my wallet?”

Shawn opens the front door and shouts “HONEY I’M HOME!!”

You think you’re sly in stealing some of shawn shirts and hoodies and placing them on your side of the cabinet

But shawns has hunch you’ve been stealing them

“You’ve been stealing my clothes haven’t you?” “I have no idea what you’re talking about”

He goes to your cabinet and finds most of his hoodies and flannels

“AHA CAUGHT YA”

“Babe i need my clothes back or else I’ll have nothing to wear” “thats the point shawn!”

You wear them when he’s away on tour because it smells like him; like a part of him is here

Bed feels so big without him

Deciding on what pet to get

“We can’t get a dog” “i don’t want a cat”

You both decide to get a goldfish

“Let’s name it sushi” “rude shawn rude”

You forget to feed it the first few days

He comes home tour and you just let him sleep it out. Doing his laundry and everything

You would always cook for him every time he comes home from tour

And you would just sit on his lap while he eats and he’s just so happy because he gets to taste a home cooked meal again

“I miss your taste too”

There’s a part in your bedroom that has a wall of polaroids of your special moments

Making the bed together every morning

Smiling at each other through the mirror when you both brush your teeth

You do the bring it on brushing their teeth scene. Watch for visuals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3-ywpMj4Jk

Cooking and eating breakfast together

Shawn resting his chin on your head while you get ready for work

Shawn would leave it post it notes in different places when he leaves early for work

Leave cute words like “you’re so fine” using the letter magnets on the fridge

He would bring you home flowers sometimes

Forehead kisses in the morning

Shawn waking you up with kisses in the morning

Waking each other up when the other doesn’t want

“WAKEY WAKEY”

“SHAWN PUT BACK THE PAN AND STOP HITTING IT WITH THE SPATULA. IM AWAKE IM FUCKING AWAKE”

You guys give each other back massages when the other one is tired after a long day of work

Shawn trying to fix the lightbulb thats always flickering because he wants to feel responsibe

“If you get electrocuted…”

He ends up getting short by the lightbulb

Theres always the spider and cockroach situation

“YOUR TURN TO KILL IT” “NO ITS YOUR TURN I FEEL SO GUILTY ALREADY”

You guys make a hobby of working on like a 500 or 1k piece puzzle to destress from work

Framing them when you’ve finished

Playing the xbox once in a while

You both get so competitive with each other

We all know who the sour loser is

Attempting to have sex but you both just pass out on the bed

Shawn in just his boxers playing his guitar on the couch while you’re there trying not have a heart attack from the way he looks

Shawn chasing you around the apartment

There’s the “just us” kind of clean

There’s also the “holy crap our friends are coming over. Pick up your underwear” clean

And the “parents are coming over. we gotta make this place look like its never been used. DISINFECT EVERYTHING!!!” kind of clean

Bringing coffee or tea for shawn when he’s at his “in the zone” mood in his little studio room and him making tea for you when you’re working a lot

Taking care of the other when sick

“I got ya chicken noodle soup”

“I’m going to make you into a blanket burrito to keep you warm” 

You guys hide snacks from each other

“SHAWN DID YOU FINISH MY CHEETOS?”

Shawn would pretend to be shocked

“WHAT? ME?”😦😦😦

Just having this natural and comfortable silence while both of you are doing your work

There’s always been a spare room and you ask shawn what do with

“Baby room in the future?”

You always schedule a date night especially at times when the work is too much and you don’t spend enough time. No phones. No work. Just the two of you enjoying each other.

“Cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you” “we’ll see” “Y/N” “just kidding i love you bitch. Can’t wait either”

[whatarubberchicken]

Adrinette April -17- Bumping Into Each Other

@adrinetteapril

Previous chapter

(I have lofty goals of actually getting this on ff.net sometime today or tomorrow. We’ll see what RL has in store for me. I’ll post the link when I do.)

Chapter 17 - Bumping Into Each Other

Adrien made sure his bedroom door was locked as soon as he was inside. Then he ran to his bed and dropped the Peacock Miraculous like it had burned him.

To think, they expected him to—

“Well, this complicates things,” Plagg remarked, also eyeing the brooch like a poisonous snake.

“I can’t use it, can I?”

“Absolutely not,” the black cat huffed. “We kwamis don’t share!”

“What about the earrings?” Adrien asked, raising an eyebrow. “Isn’t the whole point of this whole debacle to combine them with the power of the ring?”

“That’s different, kid. Tikki’s my counterpoint. My other half. The Yin to my Yang—or am I the Yin? Ehh, it really depends on our bearers, it’s gone both ways in the past…”

“Plagg, focus!”

“Right. Well, the point is, Tikki and I were made to work together. Me and Bird-Brain there,” Plagg said indicating the brooch, “were not. If you want to use it, you’ll have to renounce me first.”

“Renounce you?” Adrien repeated.

“Deny. Discard. You’ll have to reject the ring.”

“I can’t do that!”

“I agree. I’m much better than Feather Head.”

“So, what should I do?” Adrien moaned. “I can’t give it back to them!”

“Nope, that’s a Bad Idea,” Plagg agreed.

Not only would they become suspicious again, but the whole ‘giving superpowers to the bad guys’ didn’t really sit well with Adrien. Plus they might choose somebody else to wield it, and then he’d have three supervillains after him!

He cringed a little bit at labeling Ladybug a supervillain, but right now, it was true….

“No worries, kid,” Plagg was saying. “I know a guy who can take this off our hands. I’ll put the coordinates in the baton.”

“Plagg, I can’t transform into Chat Noir!” Adrien exclaimed. “They’re probably just waiting for me to come out… in—in full peacock-transformation mode!”

“Boy, are you bad at naming things….”

“You know what I mean!”

“So, what’s the plan then, genius?” Plagg asked, looking at him suspiciously. Adrien looked at him, then at the Brooch. Slowly, hesitantly, he took off his ring.

“Plagg... I renounce you.”

A few minutes later, a blue figure swooped out of the mansion, whooping loud enough to attract attention. Ladybug raced outside to catch a glimpse of him, but when she tried to catch up to the quick figure, he was nowhere to be found.

Pouting a bit (Adrien in a skin-tight suit! Adrien in a skin-tight suit! Who wouldn’t want to see Adrien in a skin-tight suit?!), she tried to call him on her compact. He didn’t answer. She didn’t worry too much though. It had taken her a few tries to figure it all out too. She’d just give him some time to himself, to feel the joy of being a superhero.

Part of her felt guilty at replacing Chat Noir like this—a really big part.

But still, what would Adrien call himself? Blue Bird? Plume Bleu? Le Peon? Whatever it was, it was sure to be great!! Oh, she was so excited!!

Marinette didn’t see Adrien again until his bodyguard dropped him off for school later.

“Adrien! Adrien!” she called. He waved nervously, looking slightly-less-than-happy to see her. She ignored it. He was probably just nervous, now that he knew her secret identity! She looked him up and down, searching for the Peacock Miraculous. “Where’s your brooch?” she asked, not finding it.

“O-oh that… am I supposed to wear it all the time?” he asked nervous.

“Yes!” she scolded, hands on her hips. “How else is it supposed to protect you?”

“My bad,” he said, laughing awkwardly and rubbing the back of his neck. “Oops, it looks like class is about to start! I’ll go get it at lunch, okay?”

“Okay,” Marinette pouted, a bit disappointed that she still hadn’t seen him transform yet.

At lunch, Adrien rushed out the door before she could join him. Oh well, it’d been a while since she’d eaten lunch with her parents, Marinette decided. She just had to be patient.

After lunch, she managed to catch him just before class.

“Well?” she asked, trying—really trying—to be patient. Adrien smiled and opened his jacket, showing her the little silver brooch shaped like a flower (the same one he’d often seen his mother wear,) that he’d pinned to the inside of the fabric.

“I didn’t want it to get in the way of photoshoots,” he explained. “Now I don’t have to constantly take it on and off.”

“Makes sense,” Marinette said, shrugging. “But it kinda looks like Sabrina’s old brooch that Chloe gave her.”

“Oh, uh… yeah,” Adrien said, biting his lip and looking nervous again. “Turns out, my father has a whole line of jewelry based off the Miraculouses. His ‘inspiration,’ you know….”

“That must be where Lila got her necklace from too!”

Adrien nodded. “Well, we’d better get inside… don’t wanna be late….”

“Aww, can’t I meet your kwami first?” Marinette pouted.

“He’s, uh, shy,” Adrien said sharply, heading into class.

Marinette frowned after him. “He? I thought Hawkmoth said Duusu was a she?”

“Duusu is a kwami,” Tikki grumbled from her purse, sticking her head out to glare at her bearer. “We can be any gender we want.”

“Oh, you’re talking to me now?”

“Just clearing things up,” Tikki said primly. She disappeared back into the bag. The bell rang. Marinette had to dive into her seat before the teacher saw her.

“Hey, Adrien! What are you doing after school?” Marinette asked. She was hoping to finally see him transform. And maybe he could even meet Tikki. He was so sweet, her kwami was sure to cheer up!

“I asked my father for an extra photoshoot this afternoon,” Adrien said, heading towards his car. “So, I’ll be busy. Don’t worry, I’ll be safe. See you tomorrow.”

Marinette blinked in shock as he left. “You… you asked for another photoshoot?”

Alya came up behind her. “Has Adrien seemed weird to you lately?” she asked casually.

“N-n-n-no, no! Of course not!” Marinette said quickly. “He’s just—very dedicated to his job….”

“He’s avoiding you, isn’t he,” Alya deadpanned.

“N-n-no! No! That’s not—”

“Why else were you fired?” Alya asked raising an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t! I wasn’t fired… he just… found… a better solution,” Marinette’s shoulders drooped.

“C’mon, girl,” Alya said firmly. “We’re having an ice-cream-and-comedy night at my place. I’ll call Nino and tell him no boys allowed.”

“B-but—”

She really wanted to see Adrien transform!

“No buts, girl. You need this. Come on.”

The next day, Marinette was filled with excitement and energy. Gabriel was (reluctantly) letting her shadow Adrien again today. Today was the day!

“Adrien! Would you like to join Alya and me for lunch?” Marinette asked, holding up a picnic basket. “Nino can come too!”

“Great!” Nino said, looking delighted.

“Sorry,” Adrien said, gathering his things, “I promised Chloe I’d eat with her today. It’s been awhile since we’ve hung out together, and you know how she is….”

“O-of course!” Marinette said, smiling and waving. Adrien gave her a small smile before he left.

“H-hey, Adrien! Do you want to grab some supper?” Marinette asked, after a particularly long photoshoot.

“No thanks, Marinette,” Adrien smiled. “You should go eat with your family. I’ve kept you away from them long enough!

Today was not the day.

Neither was the next day.

“Adrien, could you help me with my physics homework after school?” Marinette asked bashfully. “I’m stuck on number eight.”

Adrien rubbed his neck in embarrassment. “I kinda promised Nino that we could have a guy’s night tonight, Marinette. Sorry, I forgot to tell you….”

“Oh,” Marinette said, her hopes dropping, “that’s okay. No problem!”

“But you’re getting much better at physics,” he quickly added. “I bet you’ll have it figured out in no time!”

“Dude, are you avoiding Marinette?” Nino asked lowly as Adrien joined him in the library without the girls once again.

“Of course not,” Adrien said without any emotion. “There’s no way I could. I literally have to see her every day. She’s part of my schedule.”

Nino stared at him with wide eyes. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked slowly.

“Not particularly.”

“Okaaay,” Nino said. “But you know I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk, right?”

Adrien fingered the silver ring on his hand. “Thanks, man.”

End Chapter 17.

[conflictedrabbit]

2* the AvPD

Conversation w/ my friend I mentioned earlier. With their name / identifying characteristics edited out and some chopping here and there. 

___: 

I made a post abt avod once tho and it got like A few rbs and I thought "if this isn't irony idk what is" Trje

66ccff: ekjal;kdjd;

___: 

me: why do, so many avoidants want to pay for being alive avpd Tumblr: hm . I relate

66ccff: ekleja;ejdl;k

___: me: I'm glad to know people relate but are we fucking ok

66ccff: 

LOL i mean mood tbh

___: HINESTLT like I noticed i do it cuz of you NFBNSBDKSBDKSS

66ccff: though do you mean pay as in like. pay the medical system or pay as in guilt

___: Guilt

66ccff: 

kejk;ldj;L yes ok that is definitely me me: i breathed 5 gallons of air within 3 hours i am so sorry world

___:

me: [realizes it's not entirely religious trauma and also probably just Guilt over taking up space and needing to help ppl otherwise Why Live?} 

Oh god me

66ccff: (this is not even ironic i get like this multiple times a week)

___: 

hdjhdjsd I've been having a bad ep lately actually and like I think I failed to look 5-6 people in the eyes today CUZ IM JUST [WALKS AROHND] WOW . TERRIBLE

66ccff: 

omg it's ok i nearly cried in class today b/c i didn't have a good eng translation for this jp sentence

i was like.... no.... don't....

i stabilized cuz the teacher went on a tangent for a second but like forcing myself to look in his eyes and act normal was so hard i looked away so many times i wa slike. oog my god. end m i love it when walking around where there's other people makes me really nervous and irritable agoraphobia is great!

___: 

GOD yea It's so awkward for me I'm fine if I have a safe person or I'm walking to class but like

66ccff: i came back from class today and took a 6 hr nap cuz of my shame and agoraphobia

___: 

Rip Wish I could do that...

66ccff: well i haven't done my homework so

___: 

I just. Cry a lot NDKSJDJDNSKDNS rip me: I'm strong Me: spent the last 5 days like crying over nothing

66ccff: 

dkjle;ajd i mean... i used to cry but then i got mad at myself for crying so now i just Repress (tm) and sleep and then. the joke is that sometimes it doesn't work self harms... oops... that didn't work either better nap again

___: 

zz Pillows keep u safe Idk what I've been doing lately but I thought I was getting better til I realized I was like Abstaining from feeding myself BFBJSBFSJJFD

66ccff: o h my god

___: 

And I was like "oh fuck I'm a terrible person bc someone told me I should eat and j Didn't Do It I Failed Them"

66ccff: 

ahahahahaahahaha i thought i was getting better too but it was actually because i was just forcing myself to study to give myself an illusion of doing my part and then i went to school and my actual performance is like bad b/c i avoid so many activities that would make me better and i just

___: samd

66ccff: 

Wow i want to die!

___: 

hdjsjdjs

I think I only managed to eat cuz my brother was expecting me to

66ccff: tavpdfw you want to be punished constantly so you don't have to have anxiety about existing

___: 

Cuz he bought me dinner like 6 hours ago but I didn't touch it til now BFJDJD MEEEEE

66ccff: dkja;eljd;

___: 

GOD me: ah I feel good today Me like 3 hours later: oh my God I shouldn't feel good abt myself that's so Selfish ? I am trash

66ccff: oh Mood

___: Avpd solidarity

66ccff: 

honestly i love my environmental soicology class but liek it talks about how we're all consuming and putting things back into the environment

___: Idk how I manage to have avpd and __pd but that's how it is on ths bitch of an earth

66ccff: and i was literally contemplating if death was the only way to take myself out from the cycle

___: 

Me Bhhjsfjd

66ccff: 

i was like holy shit. it's not just consumption i forgot i also put bad gases into the air with everything i breathe i am Bad

___: 

All day today I was hearing abt what happened in Vegas and we were like. Talking in my apologetics class abt the Nature of Evil

66ccff: the true environmentalist take is death

___: And I was just thinking "why must I, exist if all I am is bad"

66ccff: 

oh my god same! i looked over my abt page and i was like this looks fake tumblerina

___: 

apologetics: so mankind is basically evil Me: great! I'll die so there's less evil in the world

66ccff: 

me ME

MEMEMMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

___: HHDHSBDJSHD

66ccff: 

sometimes i have fantasies of like going backwards and apologizing to everyone i've ever talked to and to everyone who ever had to work to produce what i've consumed

___: 

M. E

m

66ccff: 

and then hoping that they forget about me and then like disappearing forever i jsut can't see how some people can be like oh yeah factories in china and mexico earn less than 2 dollars an hour to make our stuff and not jus twant to kill themselves

___: 

I'm just pathetic and compulsive if I feel bad about stuff I apologize til like 2 weeks after God. Yea

66ccff: 

the joke is that people hate if you overapologize so you jsut damned if you do damned if you dont :upside_down:

___:

me: uh sorry for being sad People: don't apologize for that Me: Avpd:.  They are mad that I am apologizing also that I am sad Hhhfjjejd

Me: 

ME WKJD;LKD "can you stop saying sorry" "sorry"

___: 

me: oh God I'm so miserable Someone: oh im sorry Me: I wish I could accept this but Pity is too much for a lowly worm like me

66ccff: "what did i just say"

___: MMSNDNBHHHHHHGGGGG

66ccff: 

:smile: :gun:

MOOD

___: avpd feel when you don't deserve to be pitied ?

66ccff: pity is too much kindness ___: 

God yea

LIKE probably just a conflicted feel but I prefer ppl being active than pitying me but then I'm like

"that's selfish I don't deserve that ?"

66ccff: 

someone tells you to watch where you're going feel like you're unable to go outside for the rest of the day

___: 

m. mebdbdhdhdjs

66ccff: oh yeah the joke is that i want people to like. be kind to me but also i don't

___: hell brain

66ccff: so i can't say what i want

___: GGG YEAH

66ccff: 

be kind to me except don't because i'll feel invalid either way so maybe just don't talk to me >feels worse anyway

___: 

Hhhhhhhhhhh me Me: talk to me ? But I don't know what to talk abt ? But I am also not good enough for pity you could just sit there maybe But then the presence of another person will overwhlem me and I'll go cry again/s

66ccff: feel free to entertain yourself, and forget about me, ___: 

Mebdndmdkskdjsja god [looks at all cluster c disorders] you are all bitches and I hate tou

66ccff: 

tavpdfw u gotta depersonalize to make it through the day of talking to other people and acting like ur a normal human bean MOOD

___: GOD yea

66ccff: 

i have a question though if im depersonalizing why do i still feel terrible even if i feel ilke im fake smh

___: God me

66ccff: 

me: i'm not real so heres me acting like i am chill and cool person that is interesting maybe or maybe not me, inside: this sucks and i hate this but im not real so it shouldnt affect me but damn i hate this when u feel separate from your auto-pilot but you still experience all the shame you would without it :thinking: avpd is stupid and contradictory and evolutionarily useless

___: 

__pd isnkind of the same but like if you manage it well you can get stuff done but you still breakdown over the TINIEST DETAIL I hate it And I waste more time thinking abt what I'm gonna do and not actully DOING MT SHIT

66ccff: cripes

___: LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

66ccff:

me in high school UGH i'm ahving that problem right now dude in high school i used to just waste my days reading manga and thnking i should do my homeworka

___: 

me: I'll spend this hour scheduling [2hours later] Me: [stressed nbdjdjjsjdjsjdks

66ccff: and then i'd like. start at 10pm and fuck myself over ___: rip 66ccff: have a crying session at 4am every time an essay is due the next day ___: I actually didn't do one of my assignments tonight 66ccff: bad coping habits ___: Rip me I got discouraged over something lame JFJSNFKSNFD 66ccff: oh mood

___:

relationship issues: occur Me: well, I can't, do anything ever again

66ccff: 

i shouldn't even be discouraged abt my classes bc i'm here to learn and i'm just like. i know nothing i deserve to die kejd;kakejd friend, disagrees with you on something you feel unsure about: WELL I GUESS I AM BAD AND THEY HATE ME NOW time to ghost them

___: 

me: [perceives someone not caring for me] me: and Now...what is Mine Purpose...what do I live for...my Friends....have all abandoned m MEEEEEE avpd sounds super dramatic when you separate it from yourself but like In the moment I'm always just [jdut starts Fucking Crying

66ccff: 

i just want to manage to some kind of social work, give my wealth to some impoverished family, and then kms before 30

yeah my therapists in the past are like why... so soon

___: Jfjdjfjdf 66ccff: and i'm just like "why not i need to minimize all my ills on the world and also on the emotions of my family" ___: That reminds me of like. One of my mutuals talking abt how early he sleeps and he was just 66ccff: this is the optimal time look my life plan

___: 

"why be awake longer than necessary"

Hdhdhfjsjfdjdjdband. I was just . Me

66ccff:

because you hate yourself too much sleep :^)

___: 

God yea That's true. Me rn

I should've been asleep like an hour ago but [plays secret of Mana and then mopes]

66ccff:

dude i used to have bouts of insomnia b4 i got drugs that knock me out (and help me w/ anxiety) like.... i would lay awake and every second of being awake was just making the situation worse

___: I feel like I should get meds to balance out my bipolar eps but

66ccff: but then i couldn't sleep anyway so it was a damned situation ___: my parents r so anti meds 66ccff: rrghbh

___: 

also like Internalized ableism That I don't Needthem and So Many people don't need them

66ccff: oh yeah, why do my essay when i can read an hour of garbage romo manga and feel slightly less bad during that time and then hate myself more

___: 

So I Can do it cuz I'm like Everyone Else and not like Those "crazy" people Rifp

66ccff: 

man i don't wanna encourage meds if your side effects r bad but honestly how did i get the fuck through high school other than triggering intense anxiety about all assignments

like... i was so nonfunctional i shouldn't have even been in school

.....

66ccff: 

all accessibility problems are solvable humans are so bad

___: caring ? About others ? What a concept 66ccff: except sometimes they are good but that is definitely not me

___: 

Me

Ok I try to overcompensate w good to make up for inherent badness THANKS RELIGION

66ccff: 

the US is like: here's a pricetag for your life pay up

___: AAAA

66ccff: 

yeah i can see how christainity wouldn't help there w/ the "original sin" and stuff that doesn't quite exist in other abrahamic religions iirc judaism doesn't even have hell

___:  it's really weird

66ccff: 

i'm guessing its bc of jesus like.... y'all binches killed him so now this is life - christainity

___: 

Like. Christianity makes the most sense to me probably cuz I grew up w it but fuck Man

66ccff:  o yeah i grew up w/ some christianity too ___: It's FUCKED!!!!!! 66ccff:  i actually have agoraphobia issues w/ going inside of churches ___: Oh same 66ccff:  :^) ___: I'm actually fairly anti-church just because the current state of them is very bsd 66ccff:  oh yeah

....

66ccff: 

how can someone like me, who is literally not deserving of life, raise someone else

scrumbles

___:

Me Hdjehdsk

66ccff:  ___ we are so fucked ___: 

It's true Life is fucked We, are fucked

66ccff: existence is violence