#oops gin got a lil mean.

[godkilller]

THERE WAS SOMETHING CLOSE TO A CHUCKLE THAT EMERGED in light of the casual comment of how insulting his implied act of playing matchmaker truly was. All things considered, Gin hadn't meant it that way, but now that Izuru had his pouted response in full effect Gin really couldn't play takesie-backsies. Too amusing of a conversation, anyways, and he very much didn't mind Izuru's natural abrasiveness toward his attempts to shift the spotlight off of himself. Even in the act of resisting the play... Izuru made things fall more in Gin's favor -- just in the nature of needing to respond to each quip Gin fired off in defense. This was enough, at the very least, to avoid the prior topic.

❝ Alright, that was a lil mean of me, yeah -- but I never mentioned orderin' somebody to sleep with ya. ❞ Gin took in one last languid pull from the pipe lifted elegantly to his lips, a slow exhale soon to follow, wisps of smoke coiling outwards into the dead air.

❝ You can handle yourself with plenty of th' Arrancar that lurk 'round these halls, this's true. But you'd get your ass beat by th' top half of the Espada, Izuru. ❞ A tipping roll of the black pipe between his fingers, then a tap of his kiseru against the balcony railing had the remnants of the small bowl's ashes fluttering off to join the sands of Hueco Mundo beyond.

❝ You oughtta not tempt their disobedience so much -- Cap'n Aizen, Tousen-san 'n I all had to kill hundreds who challenged 'n defied us to get the modicum of bitter 'n reluctant respect they now display our way. ❞

Gin paused, giving the kiseru one last little flick to rid it of anything residual as well as cooling it a subtle amount, then he slid it back into the confines of the front of his robes tucked beneath the outermost layer of black-lined white. His hand delved back into the depths of his oversized sleeve, vanishing alongside its counterpart to lean in a drape over the railing. Gin glanced outwards. Whatever playfulness he offered Izuru was sapped away in a miniscule glinting change in the traitor's demeanor, shoulders shifting, a serpent's scales glimmering amongst the tall blades of grass -- betraying its slithering approach. Grinning, Gin slowly spoke out into the arid cold that surrounded them. He did not look to his side.

❝ Explainin' to you what I need from ya overall, or in the future, is secondary to you simply listenin' to me in the moment thatcha need to. I say back off, you back off. I say attack, you attack. I tell ya to run, you run. You followed me here ---- you say it's 'cause you're loyal, fine, be loyal then. If you're gonna insist on bein' an extension of me, Izuru, then don't be a weak one. ❞

The 'point' that Izuru sought, that he yearned for, was hissed as loud as thunder and delivered as swift as a snake's bite; don't get in my way. Gin didn't enjoy willfully intimidating those he cared for, but he reckoned their hurt feelings were the better option in comparison to their dead bodies. But... even then, even then Izuru was in a dangerous position that Gin could not properly explain to him. He could merely hope the lieutenant didn't dive in between himself and Aizen thinking himself useful whilst being the polar opposite, getting them both killed.

❝ Say my Bankai comes out -- it's th' same rule as always -- you'd better be 14 kilometers away from me. No room for mistakes this time 'round. If you end up jeopardizin' my shot, I'll make it through ya. We clear? ❞

THE SMOKE PUTS A WRINKLE ABOVE HIS NOSE AND AN ITCH IN HIS EYES, but its smell is cloying and nostalgic. One particularly humid summer morning, a young and restless Izuru found himself awake an hour earlier than usual, nemaki clinging to skin damp with sweat. It was on his way to the baths that the scent of tobacco wafting through the stale air steered him off course; he'd never smelled anything like it, and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not, but he had to know what sort of incense would put off such an ❛ aroma ❜. Following it to its source, he found his mother reclining against one of the posts holding up the awning over the engawa. In her slender fingers she cradled a kiseru not unlike the one in Gin's, and there was something strangely bewitching about the way the tension visibly rolled off of her like a receding wave as she exhaled smoke. It seemed like it must've been nice. Upon her next drag she'd noticed her child standing in the doorway watching her, and with a start, she began to choke. Izuru immediately apologized, but she, eyes still burning with tears, assured him that she's okay, he'd simply startled her. On the other side of her coughing fit, he'd asked what she was doing.

❛ Don't tell your father, ❜ instead of answering, and with Izuru's visible confusion, continued, ❛ I'm trying to quit. I don't want him scolding me. ❜

So even adults can do things that would get them into trouble.

He asked if he could try, Shizuka barked a gentle but surprised laugh and shook her head. ❛ No, my dear; this will turn your voice ugly and put wrinkles on your pretty skin. ❜

Then what is the point? Izuru couldn't understand it at the time, but, oh...now he knows the lengths one would go to chase their cravings. Of all the vices that he'd picked up over the years, somehow smoking was not among them────but he would, now, if it meant putting his lips where Gin's once were.

Izuru is too preoccupied with shaking off the intrusive fantasy to notice, perhaps, the way Gin's breath sticks in his throat like the smoke in his mother's. Unlike her, however, he doesn't choke; he's better at keeping secrets.

Izuru casts Gin another sidelong glance, then his eyes track the departure of the wisp into the everlasting night. Stand back, Gin would tell him, but not leap forward? Then...what is the point?

The faraway look on the lieutenant's face sharpens with an indignant huff at Gin's inappropriate offer ( not that Izuru is one to criticize ), though he suspects that it's a cover to get Izuru's attention off of himself and onto someone or something else. Gin should know by now that he cannot escape Izuru so easily. ❝ I can handle myself, ❞ the blonde mutters stiffly, waving away that sharp elbow. ❝ And I don't need you to order someone to sleep with me. How insulting. ❞

[that-was-anticlimactic]

okay so awhile ago @zukkaoru and i made a nerdy prudes must die au for bsd and we kind of went off with it and the soundtrack is stuck in my head so look at who would be who (explanations under the cut):

kunikida - grace chasity

yosano - steph lauter

dazai - pete spankoffski

ranpo - richie lipschitz

poe - ruth fleming

chuuya - max jägerman

fukuchi - wiggly

bram - nibbly

sigma - blinky

fyodor - tinky

nikolai - pokey

gin - kyle

tachihara - jason

jouno - detective shapiro

tecchou - officer bailey

mori - mayor lauter

elise - miss tessburger

cheerleaders - higuchi (brenda), naomi (stacy), kajii (brooke)

kyouka - reese

jun’ichiro - joey's bbq monologue guy

atsushi - bbq jon/trevor

kenji - bbq angela

akutagawa - bbq mariah/caitlyn

mushitaro - corey dorris' cop (f-ing transcendent cop)

mark - dan reynolds

john - donna

hirotsu - miss mulberry

nathaniel - boy jerry

guy koyou tried running away with - mark chasity

koyou - karen chasity

margaret - bryce’s reporter

louisa - paul

lucy - emma

kunikida as grace bc he has all his ideals and he's just so... idk how to describe it in a way that doesn't sound mean bc i mean it so affectionately but he has the vibes of slowly losing his beans. also... just PICTURE him singing "dirty girl" YOOOOO and like if you ship kunichuu, then it's also kunikida freaking out bc he's thinking romantically about someone from the mafia. also he deserves to go wild <3

yosano as steph bc Vibes <333 dazai as pete (and this is not shipping yosano and dazai... they're just friends in this) bc he's smart and would 100% get all caught up in something like this also bc we're making chuuya max so like they're rivalry tehe. now i know you could argue that atsushi should be pete and akutagawa should be steph... but this stemmed from kunichuuzai, sooooo. dazai could also be steph, but we thought that yosano fit steph better than pete

ranpo as richie bc there was literally no good place for ranpo. he's too smart. but richie is also smart and it'd just be silly. maybe now ranpo can live (for a lil bit oops) the childhood he never had...

poe as ruth bc he would KILL "just for once" look me in the face and tell me i'm wrong

chuuya as max bc gravity powers and dead!max's powers are similar, chuuya has the anger issues to be max, plus he and kunikida would get to sing "dirty girl" together. i also feel like "literal monster" could be a song in reference to chuuya and i feel like (in a kind of self-deprecating way), chuuya would sing that about himself

we made the decay of angels the lords in black bc it FIT!!! fukuchi as wiggly bc leader, bram as nibby bc... vampire... mouth..., sigma as blinky bc they've got eyes on the casino and know everything about all the staff and customers and such, fyodor as tinky bc tinky is prolly the most sadistic one, and nikolai as pokey bc nikolai is most likely to cause a musical apocalypse

gin as kyle and tachihara as jason is just so silly~ and hirotsu as miss mulberry bc he's trying his best to wrangle a bunch of depressed teenagers all the time. higuchi, naomi, and kajii are the cheerleaders (we invented a third one specifically for kajii) bc we think they'd be good cheerleaders lol

jouno as shapiro bc VIBES and wants to uphold the law and tecchou as bailey would just be SO FUNNY and they would just annoy each other soooooo much! we made mushitaro corey dorris' cop bc it would be funny

mori as the mayor is great bc yosano is steph... and that's just depressing ya know? and then elise as tessburger for obvious reasons

we just thought mark and john would be a funny dan and donna tbh. margaret as bryce's reporter specifically so she can blame nathaniel hawthorne. nathaniel as boy jerry bc ViRgiNiTy RoCkS

jun'ichiro as joey's bbq guy bc let's be real... jun'ichiro is an AMAZING actor. kenji HAD to be in th ebbq monologues bc cows. then akutagawa is a theatre kid i know this he told me personally (or he would be if he wasn't in the mafia and had a family and went to school). atsushi is kind of there just so we can hear him say, "my barbecue" the way jon does lol

[blookmallow]

more murder game 

to say the least 

YIKES

y’know im writing these going back through my screenshots after. being actually much further on and i dont remember if this was ever explained really. was this just there to fuck with them 

you guys keep leaving out really crucial information here i feel like this death game isn’t very fair 

at least monokuma makes the rules clear before making everyone murder each other 

anyway i think im missing a couple shots here but q-taro tried to get us all dead bc he decided he’s the most important person and needs to get out even if it means all of us die. which, y’know. i guess he’s got the orphanage he needs to get back to but im still a lil bitter about it 

i feel like we’re not nearly worried enough about the fact that they have identical duplicates of everyone just on hand, with the ability to make them be alive, AND advanced AIs of everyone here with the potential capability of updating in real time 

how the FUCK are we not talking about this. anyone could be a doll at any time 

oh boy 

that’s. good. that’s fine 

its FINE its FINE 

OK!!! THIS IS. WE’LL FIGURE THIS OUT THIS IS FINE 

i actually. literally could not get out of here without just ignoring them all because i never used the memory eraser thing (really just not a good idea to agree to erase parts of your brain, i think, ) so my hallucination level just kept going critical 

unless that’s Supposed to happen here and the point is you can’t get through it without just refusing to acknowledge them 

why is it ALWAYS GIN 

im not sure if the whole token thing is actually a factor you can control, i dont remember what the final token count was (if it said what it was) or whether it was like, a number i could have significantly influenced 

anyway this is the point where ive decided im Done with q-taro because like. ok the game here is, gin’s going to get shot with an injection of poison. they don’t have all the information from the start so they believe this will kill him instantly. q-taro can choose to switch places with him. i can understand that a man might not be able to bring himself to choose to die for someone else, even if it is a child, especially since he’s already said he’s willing to do anything to get back to the kids he’s responsible for at home 

but then they discover that the poison isn’t immediately fatal, and they in fact have an antidote for it, and there’s a way to solve this puzzle so everyone escapes if they don’t take too long. gin is a child. q-taro is a big athletic adult man. he still refuses to switch places with gin. meaning, he, an adult who will almost definitely be able to take a few shots while they’re figuring it out, and knows he’ll be able to cure it at the end, decides instead to risk the life of a child taking the shots for him when he’s much smaller and could die way faster. literally why would you refuse that unless you’re just That selfish or that cowardly. especially since he was previously down to vote a child to die just on the basis of “they’re less useful” fuck you q-taro fuck you i hate you 

I FUCKING KNEW IT 

doll reko is genuinely. one of the most tragic characters in this story and nobody really talks about her again after this. its really upsetting, 

oh. shit. oops 

was. that my fault somehow, 

sorry alice 

i guess reko’s still alive though so that’s a plus 

i literally don’t understand why this happened though like. isn’t it against the floor masters’ rules or whatever for them to directly intervene/attack participants?? like. what happened here was ranger threw a doll head at alice that looked like reko’s severed head, but then it turned out to be fake, but it exploded so he died anyway but. alice didn’t actually do anything to cause that. he didn’t violate any rules, there wasn’t a vote, and it wasn’t a Challenge/game that he failed. unless they’re allowed to just call fucking anything a game and justify themselves for just straight up killing you because they felt like it, in which case there’s no purpose in having regulations for the floor masters at all, and there’s just NO fucking structure to this whole game in the first place 

which i guess could be the point but it’s always more interesting when there’s rules and ways you Can win. if it’s just “we trapped you all in here and we’ll just kill you whenever we feel like it” that’s not a death game that’s just, like, murdering people. so why bother with all the traps and puzzles and complicated challenges if you’re just gonna sometimes explode people because, like, It’s A Prank Bro

or was that the reason ranger got dead. i dont remember Why he got dead other than gashu was just Done with him

[yeojaa]

in the night, ii.

read part one!  dedicated to my beloved wofe @periminkle​ because she loves assassin!kook and so do i.  i honestly dunno how many parts to this non-couple couple i’ll do but ... i cannot resist them.  oops.

pairing.  jjk x reader.  rating.  ... general?  tags.  soft romance in the form of:  pining, cuddling, playing chess like losers, using a hotel room for the lamest reasons.  maybe a very lil bit of angst if you squint at the right times.  it’s just them being...  them?  ig.  wc.  1.8k.  beta reader.  @hobi-gif​ 💛

“You know, when you asked me to meet  you here, this isn’t what I had in mind.”

He can’t help but laugh, the sound teetering off his tongue into the tepid lake of espresso sitting in his cup.  You’re glaring down at the board, hand poised at your side.  You’re so focused - more so than when you’re stitching him up.  

He wonders, idly, whether that should worry him.  It won’t.

“You’re not having fun?”  He hums, the slyest smile passing over the rim of ceramic, a certain twinkle in his stare.  It’s possible he’s overtired - he hasn’t slept in what feels like ages - but there’s something awfully amusing about the sight of you, brow knit and mouth pursed into a grimace he seldom sees.  “Got something else in mind, Doc?”

You don’t humour him with a response, advancing your king to C7.  

“You sure about that one?”

“Yes.”  It snaps past your lips like cinnamon bubble gum.

Seeing you so riled up - not quite irritated but overly competitive - makes Jungkook snort, setting his cup down with a soft, drawn out sigh.

“Come here.”  It isn’t readily clear where he means but he leaves it up to you, watching you keenly. 

You’re having none of it. “Make your move.”

“Come here,”  he repeats, just that bit harder.  The edge doesn’t reach anywhere but his words;  his eyes are still a little tired, half-lidded and dreamy.  They pair nicely with the full of his cheek, how it ticks rounder and reveals a singular dimple.  Your weakness - or so he’d like to think. 

It’s with a surprising amount of dramatics that you remove yourself from the opposite seat, folding yourself into his lap with only a handful of movements.  He welcomes your weight, curling an exhausted arm around the shape of your waist. 

With your back to the arm rest, you settle with your head against his shoulder, nose cold against the column of his throat.  He can even feel the steel of your glasses, gold-rimmed and delicate. 

“Bored?”  The tone of his voice is lilting, teasing, dressed up with laughter.  It disappears into your crown of velvet, loosely braided and knotted behind your ear in your signature no-fuss fashion. 

“No.”  But it isn’t very believable because you certainly sound unenthused. 

He tries again, with fingers that flex into the soft, bare flesh of your thigh;  his other hand guides your chin, drawing your attention fully from the abandoned chess set.  “Want to order room service?”

It’s the least he can do, he figures.  Something to ease whatever mocking resentment seeps out of your skin - much like his had only hours earlier. 

Note to himself:  pick up some new clothes.  

“I want every dessert on the menu,”  you finally relent, with a terribly serious set of your jaw and intensity in your eyes.  

He snorts, again, squeezing the yielding softness of your hip in his broad palms. “I’ll call down and order.  You go take a shower or something.”  It’s not as dismissive as he means;  the blouse you’d worn over is stained red, the colour bleeding garishly over cream silk.  It even marks your skin now, caught beneath your nails and over your wrists. 

“What - it’s not a good look on me?”  

Your feigned affront is addictive, coaxing in a way he’s utterly defenceless against.  Still, Jungkook rolls his eyes - an exaggerated reveal of bright white sclera - and levels you with a look that might serve him better than the gun that rests on the coffee table.  “Don’t ask stupid questions, Doc.”

“But you do stupid things all the time.”  You’re not wrong and if there’s anyone worthy of calling him out in this same way, it’s you.  Doesn’t mean he takes it any more kindly, glowering at you so heavily he thinks you might be enjoying it. 

“Name one time,”  he retorts, fully on the defensive.  Even though he knows you’re right.  Even though he could list off just five things since last night. 

Getting ambushed in his own home

Cracking some not-so-poor guy’s skull on the corner of his Nakashima dining table 

Asking for you to make a home (or rather, hotel) call 

Asking for you at all

Asking you to stay 

He hopes you won’t catch onto the last three. 

“That time I told you to not overextend yourself after you cracked three ribs and you came back the next day complaining because you’d piledrived a guy through some scaffolding but, and I quote, ‘it wasn’t a big deal’?”  Okay, you have him there.  “Or the time I told you to take the pills in the left drawer and you took the ones from the right and ended up passed out on my floor for twelve hours?”  Another solid and mildly embarrassing example.  “Or—”

“Okay, okay.”  A single hand held aloft in the universal sign of stop;  the other remains comfortable around your waist, digits tracing figure eights over the porcelain skin beneath your top.  “I get it.”

You’re undeterred, pushing forward with abandon.  “Or inviting me to a hotel to not only stitch you back together but also play silly children’s games?”

“Hey - chess is fun!”  And so were Gin Rummy and Speed, the other two activities he’d foisted upon you post-sewing session. 

“You’re an idiot,”  you state, with a surprising amount of affection.  He doesn’t mind when it comes like this, dipped in honey and rolled in fairy floss. It satisfies his sugar craving, filling the spaces between his molars with cavities. 

“You still came,”  he challenges.  

“Just adding it to the dozens of favours you already owe me.”

He grins, roguish and far too handsome for his own good.  Even tired, with lurking shadows beneath his eyes, he’s unbelievably bright - like it’s radiating out of him.  It’s quite funny when he’s speckled in gore, blood tainting tanned skin and reminding you that he’s not all sunshine and rainbows. 

“How will I ever pay you back?”

You’re close - far too close, even sat in his lap.  Jungkook can see every freckle on your face, every lash that frames the prettiest stare he’s ever seen.  He has to remind himself he’s waiting for an answer;  it’s hard when all he wants to do is kiss you. 

He thinks you must want it too, by how the silence stretches on, catching the pair of you like a Chinese finger trap. 

“Doc?”  Barely a word, made in a whisper. 

Can you feel how his heart beats, trips and fails to right itself when you’re so close he can smell the coffee on your breath?  Is it your medical training that gives him away?  Or maybe just the fact that you’re attuned to everything about him because he’s, well, him?

Your big stupid idiot, for all intents and purposes. 

He wants to ask.  He wants to kiss you. He wants a hundred mundane things (like playing cards and eating sweet treats) only with you. 

You tear it all away with a pat to his head and a wicked smile.  “With all the dessert in the world.”

He scowls then, the expression wolfish and touched with agitation.  It presents in the narrowing of his stare, his sharply set jaw.  “Sounds like pretty lame payback to me.”  Can you hear the edge of petulance, how it colours syllables the faintest shade of goblin green?

“Got something else in mind, Jeon?”

Having his words thrown back at him only makes him laugh.  It reverberates out of his bare chest, filling the quiet of the luxury suite;  it bounces around just as you do, leaping to your feet with a grace he can’t mimic.  He’s mesmerised, as he always is, gaze trained on you - your loosened bun, the curves of your back, how you look in the jeans that look nearly painted on they fit you so well. 

“Grab a bath, Doc,”  he returns - less of a suggestion and more of a demand. 

“Better have those desserts once I’m out.”  A threat rather than a joke, though you’re far too unassuming with your old lady glasses and wide, expressive stare.  For your sake, Jungkook crosses a heart across his chest and nods solemnly, earning him a devastating grin that works far better than your intimidation. 

“Have I ever let you down?”

You’re already gone, a trail of your clothes left like breadcrumbs.  He still hears you.  “I mean - you did bring a knife fight to my door.”  

“We don’t talk about that!”  He calls back before the sound of running water takes over, distorting your laughter.  Neroli and cedar wood comes - your signature scent.  He can’t help the way he inhales deeply, satisfied, as he plucks the room phone from its holder.  It’s an addiction, a second nature action that he can’t help, whether you’re curled in his arms or tending to his broken, bleeding body. 

It’s dangerous, he knows.  

His old mentor would tell him don’t get involved, Jeon.  That living a life like this came with sacrifices.  Things he’d never really cared for - at first.  But now?  

He daydreamt about them more often than he should, in all the quiet moments in between.  They painted the prettiest pictures in his mind, wishful thinking in the form of everyday occurrences:  coffee in the morning, you in his (unstained) clothes, drives in the countryside, a bed shared at night. 

All because of you and your healing hands.  He’d never thought you’d be so good at your job, stitching him up inside and out.

It’d be better if he left, packed his ruined clothing and stopped appearing on your doorstep.  It’d keep you safe - and him, too.  Relationships meant weakness and in his line of work, weakness was something to be exploited, like an open wound with a thumb pressed into it.

Instead, he waits until the cart of desserts appears - lemon tarts and basque cheesecake and a dozen other things that scream diabetes! - and wheels it right into the bathroom, closer to you, because he always wants to be closer to you.  

“These don’t look like apples, Doc,”  he hums, settling himself on the back edge of the tub, careful not to dislodge the towel that’s folded beneath your neck.  The wet of your hair seeps into the material of his pants, sticking cloth to sinew and brawn. 

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away but a tray of desserts will keep me here forever.”

“You planning on living here?”  Quipped with an offering - a cocoa masterpiece of four layers, held gingerly between his thumb and forefinger.  

“Might as well milk it,”  you tease, accepting the bite with love in your eyes and a tongue that sweeps, just barely, over his suddenly electrified skin.  He knows what you’re doing just as well as you do;  it’s next to impossible not to lean into the desire, slide the digit home and press down into muscle until you’re drooling around it.

“Might as well,”  he echoes, those same fluttering pink hearts reflected in his stare.

tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice​ @youwannabelostandnotbefound​ 

[dapper-ships-herself]

Should you fight my f/os?

Tagged by @megane-shipping @rose-wine-selfships @firebird-inkheart

I have many f/os, so this isn't all of them but I still did a fair number of 'em.

Also the rating system confused me but I did my best.

Dazai: He looks pretty scrawny, and while he is a pretty good fighter fighter through skill he isn't the physically strongest opponent, but you still wouldn't be able to beat him. He'd come up with some sort of plan where you'd probably think you'd won but then you turn around and oop no Dazai won. How does that work? Who fucking knows.

No fighting Dazai. 2/10

Erza Scarlet: She will kick your ass with the power of friendship and her eighteen thousand swords. Are you kidding me? She's queen of the fairies, no way. Beating her up only inspires her to win for the sake of her guild.

No fighting Erza. 1/10

Shinobu Kocho: She will poison you with a smile on her face. Unless your name is Douma, I would not recommend (ouch).

No fighting Shinobu. 4/10

Chuuya Nakahara: if you're looking to get crushed by a manlet in a fancy hat, then go for it. He's quite possibly one of the strongest ability users out there, but tell him Dazai called him a nerd or whatever and he'll fly into a rage that you can either use to your advantage or will result in you being crushed faster.

No fighting Chu-tan. 1/10

Yosano Akiko: Holy shit what? You're going to fight her? She will hack you to pieces, put you back together, and then repeat, repeat, repeat until she has to go and catch a sale.

No fighting Yosano. 4/10

Howard Phillips Lovecraft: You have a chance so long as he continues to give into his tiredness, he may simply lay there while you beat the shit out of him. Make sure you keep him from going all eldritch monstrocity on your ass though.

Not advised to fight Lovecraft. 3/10

Edgar Allen Poe: He's baby, why would you fight him? I know his best friend is a raccoon and he looks like he hadn't been outside since he was a baby, but what would you accomplish by fighting him?

To remain a decent person no fighting Poe. 5/10

Mark Twain: He's allergic to wearing shirts properly and thinks he's all buff and stuff, but you can punch him in the eye and knock him the fuck out. His little doll friends ain't gonna do shit. So long as you get too close for him to snipe you, you've got this.

Fight Mark. 7/10

Margaret Mitchell: I would really rather you not, she's napping. If you did, though, be ready to get caught in your own personal tornado while she rants about restoring her families honor. Unless your name is Akutagawa, be careful.

Not advised to fight Margaret. 5/10

Higuchi Ichiyo: She's certainly not the most formidable opponent, but she would gladly cut a thousand bitches for the sake of getting senpai to notice her.

You could fight Higuchi but it's not advised. 6/10

Gin Akutagawa: You wouldn't even hear her coming. The thought of fighting her would be brand new and then whoops, you've got a knife to the throat. She's not a leader of the black lizards for no reason.

Not advised to fight Gin. 4/10

Beelzebub: There is a chance that he would literally eat you, but for the most part while he is a big, beefy demon, he's also a teddy bear; he'd probably let you punch him over and over with a straight face. Stay away from his food and you should be fine.

Maybe fight Beelzebub. 6/10

Mammon: On one hand, he is the second most powerful of his brothers, he could easily destroy you. On the other hand, boy gets beat up verbally and physically by his brothers every damn day and has a mountain of insecurities, poke at those and you could probably win. Or make him even more mad. It's a gamble with the avatar of greed, my guy.

Maybe fight Mammon but not advised. 5/10

Jae-ha: He's a quick fellow, and his aim with those daggers is pretty spot on, it'd be very difficult and your best chance would be to try and ground him so he can't use his dragon leg. Although, he's a pervert and would probably like getting beat up, so you could win simply by that

Not advised to fight Jae-ha unless he's feeling especially nasty: 5/10

Chain Sumeragi: She can literally make herself completely undetectable and then stick her hand through you to play with your insides, unless you can get past that somehow, you're fucked.

No fighting Chain. 3/10

Steven Alan Starphase: He will Esmeralda Blood Freeze you before you can even blink and the shatter you into ice cubes for his drink. He ain't afraid to get his hands dirty.

No fighting Steven. 3/10

The Happy Huntresses: They're an experienced team of top of their class huntresses; four badasses trained not only to fight people but also giant evil monsters.

No fighting the happy huntresses. 4.5/10

Meis and Gueira: I mean they look decently tough with those bikes and the armor and the fire, but everytime we see them in a fight they get their asses handed to them in like two seconds. Best to be equiped with a fire extinguisher or like some ice cubes to chuck at 'em.

Maybe fight them. 6/10

Aizawa Shouta: Your best bet is to catch him in the middle of a nap, but please be so careful not to wake him up, he's most likely be so cranky that he'd forget he's a hero and snap your neck.

Not advised to fight Aizawa. 5/10

Idia Shroud: His scrawny ass barely ever leaves his room, he hasn't lifted anything heavier than his phone ever, he's a flaming stick basically.

You could fight Idia. 7/10

Sesshomaru: He has very little mercy to spare and has killed a great deal of people and demons.

No fighting Sesshomaru. 2/10

Annie January: She is capable of blinding and throwing you across the room with a beam of light from her hands and can lift like thirty two times her bodyweight. Unless you also have superpowers, would not recommend.

Not advised to fight Annie. 5/10

Byleth: She's a skilled fighter on her own, but she also has an army of feral students ready to beat the shit out of anyone who messes with their proffessor.

No fighting Byleth. 4/10

Shatina: Her greatest joy is beating people up and watching them bleed, she steps on and torments even her closest allies on a near daily basis. She would crush you and the go right back to drinking.

No fighting Shatina. 4/10

Maeve: I'm actually not sure what kind of fighting ability she has, but why would you want to hurt a goddess?

No fighting Maeve. 5/10

Ban: He's a member of one of the strongest groups of fighters in the land, and he's able to almost immediately regenerate after any and all damage. Also, he's like 10 feet tall, what are you going to do? Chew on his ankles until they snap off? They grow right back.

No fighting Ban. 4/10

Joxter: Fucking feral cat man, too lazy to fight back. Kick his ass.

Fight Joxter. 8/10

Shigure Sohma: Please fight Shigure, please. I will put my bet on you and watch.

Please fight Shigure. 9/10

Vodka: She's used to fighting giant fallen angels, she'd have no trouble kicking your ass and looking good while doing it. Also, she could simply send her hawk Andre to peck out your eyes before she even has to do any work.

Not advised to fight Vodka. 5.5/10

Jordan 'JD' Davies: They're the Jersey Devil. Literally, the Jersey Devil. They'd burn you to a crisp with their fire powers. But, your chances of victory aren't zero if you could find a way to deal with that. They're strong, but you could find a way with a fist fight. Fuck knows they deserve to be fought.

You probably shouldn't but fight JD anyways. 7/10

Zoro: You're going to fight a guy who wields three swords? One of which he sticks in his mouth? He's clearly crazy. Also I'm pretty sure he cuts a mountain in half at some point or something like that? So there's that to take into consideration. You're best bet would be to also be amazing with swords.

No fighting Zoro. 3/10

Nami: She's not the most powerful out of all of all of her crew, but if you beat her you will leave afterwards and notice that your wallet and all your valuables that you had on you are missing and she's already sailing away.

You could fight Nami but you will be poor afterwards. 7/10

Mollymauk Tealeaf: Hasn't he been through enough?

No fighting Molly please. 5/10

Zora: She will turn you into a literal baby, how do you plan on beating her up as an infant with your chubby lil baby hands?

No fighting Zora: 4/10

And I wanted to include some familial too

Yukichi Fukuzawa: Have you seen him fight with a sword? You won't even see him draw it.

No fighting Fukuzawa. 2/10

Ogai Mori: He will trick you into thinking he's merely a simple, friendly neighborhood physician, and then the moment your back is turned there will be a scalpel buried deep in it. Also, he has a demon baby at his command.

No fighting Ogai. 2/10

Kouyou Ozaki: You might think you're sneaking up on her, but her Golden Demon will cut you down without her even needing to look away from admiring the flowers and sipping her tea.

No fighting Kouyou. 2/10

Oda Sakunosuke: HASN'T HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.

No fighting Oda PLEASE. 4/10

Ranpo Edogawa: While he has eaten nothing but processed sugar since the day he was born, he will eviscerate you with his words and leave you too mentally beaten to lift a finger. Stuff your ears with some cotton and kick his scrawny ass. The rest of the detective agency will come after you, though.

Not advised but go ahead and fight Ranpo. 5/10

Yumeno Kyusaku: So much as look at this child wrong, much less lay a finger on them, and I will be the one fighting you.

NO FIGHTING YUMENO. 0/10

Lio Fotia: I know he looks like a dandy who was abandoned and raised by a biker gang, but he is also the strongest known burnish. The only thing saving you is his code against killing.

Not advised to fight Lio. 4/10

Laxus Dreyar: He's an asshole, and I completely understand wanting to fight him, but he is jacked as shit with the power of lightning at his finger tips.

It's not smart but I would like to watch you do it anyways. 2/10

Noctis Lucis Caelum: He'd rather fish than fight you, but he is capable of taking down giant monsters and mini armies with the ability to teleport. Tell him Hot Topic is going out of business and he'll crumble.

Not advised to fight Noctis but eh maybe you could. 4/10

Pretty sure all the people I would've tagged have already done it? So do this if you want to.

[youbelongwithswiftie]

Percabeth: Alcohol and Mansplaining: Quarantine

“You know, Ari, everytime I see this tik-tok, all I can think of is mom.” 

“Which one?” She’s trying to paint the wall, without dripping paint all over the bed. What is wrong with her paint today? 

“You know, the one that goes two shots of vodka and then she pours like the whole damn bottle?” 

She looks over at her sister, sitting in bed, guitar perched on her knee, but scrolling through her phone. “Liz, that’s a vine NOT a tik-tok.” 

“I mean, they’re basically the same thing. So, ya know, go with it.” Ariadne rolled her eyes, and went back to painting the wall. This sunset painting was going to get finished today. She wanted to start a new project and the more she has to scrap and recoat the wall, she might just push her brain over the edge. “Anyways, I’m going to go find our parents. Make sure they’re not causing trouble.” Mmm-hmm, you mean like you’re trying to do, Ariadne thought. 

It couldn’t have been longer than five minutes that Liz was gone, but when she did come back, she was very annoyed. “Listen, Ari, for the sake of professionalism, Mom has not gone off on this guy, but this little man-whore-” 

“Lizzie, you shouldn't use man-whore, it's nasty.” 

“Right, right..you’re right. This lil bitchchacha keeps talking over her, mansplaining her job to her. So, I say we do something about it.” She sighed, here it comes. 

“We gotta make her a drink.” 

“Oh yes! I’ve been wanting a drink for a while.” 

“Girl, what?” 

“You think I don’t have more than 1 fake ID? Girl, please.” Elizabeth cackled. “To the alcohol cabinet!” 

“Okay, Chlo, what’s in a Long Island?” 

“Um, well, our beach house at Camp where I wish we were right now?” 

“The drink you numbskull!” 

“You don’t already know? Wow, and I thought you owned a fake ID.” 

“Doesn’t mean I go out drinking a strong ass drink. They’d kill me if I came home drunk as a skunk. I usually stick to like a single rum and coke. I mean, the lighter you go, the less you are to spill all your damn secrets.” 

“Anyways, the google says its got coke -” 

“Where are we supposed to get cocaine?” 

“The DRINK. LIKE COCA-COLA…. Who’s the crackhead now, Ariadne Rose?” 

“Lizzie! Oh my god! Both our middle names are after types of wine! Chloe and Rose!” 

“I - Oh my gods, you’re right. What the hell?” They both sat there for a few minutes. “How have we been alive for 16 years and didn’t know that?” They both started laughing, call it cabin fever, but this social-distancing was hell for the two of them and seemed to be making them delirious. 

“Back to the drink: Google says it has coke, vodka, tequila, gin, rum, sour mix, triple sec...Do we have all that?” 

“Well, we’ve got some vodka, I don’t see any of that other stuff. There may be some tequila somewhere.” 

“Well, shit. Hang on, I’m going to ask dad.”

“No! Have you lost your mind? If he finds out, he’ll kill us.” 

“No, he wouldn’t...But, maybe you’re right. We definitely shouldn’t tell a responsible adult what we’re doing...even though another responsible adult will be getting the drink.” 

“Fuck it. I’m just going to put some vodka and coke, and like some of that simple syrup stuff dad uses.” 

“That’s for cakes and stuff, not alcohol.”

“Bih- I don’t care.” 

“Well, at least Mom’ll crash from a sugar high rather than being drunk… Ooh, we’ve got ice cream. Should we add some?” Ariadne can tell Elizabeth is getting punchy, and is really about to start going bat-shit with whatever they do to their poor mother. 

“Yes. Yes, we should.” 

“I don’t think this can really count as an alcoholic beverage at this point.” 

“Well, it's definitely not a Long Island, that’s for sure… Are we done? I think we should be done.” 

“Okay, so like, should we knock on the door?” 

“Liz, what? No. You literally said she’s still on the call.” She opens the door, and they can see her glance up, and then look back at the computer. The man is still talking. 

“You see, I really want it to have a sort of green-house feel. Like, I want the roof to be a dome with nothing but windows. Have you seen a dome before? They’re really cool, and I don’t want anything to be just a boring square. And, well, I don’t think you’ve seen a colosseum before, but that’s really what I’d like for the main area. I also really want…” Mom looked like she wanted to strangle him. Ari set the drink on the desk and turning around, she saw Lizzie with that dam sign. IT'S ALCOHOL. DRINK. 

“Shit, Lizzie, I thought you were joking about that.” Oops. That was loud. 

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Garnichelli. I’m going to have to call you back.” They heard the glass slam onto the desk. Uh oh. The call ended, and she said, “Gee, no. I’ve never heard of very simple fixtures in architecture - ever. I’m just saying I’m an architect for shits and giggles.” Lizzie snorted. “Girls, what is in this drink?” 

“Uh, ice cream, coke, and vodka.” 

“You… okay. Thank you, but if I drink this, I’m going to end up calling that mansplainer ass back and give him a piece of my mind, so I’m getting some wine…” She stood up, and walked to the door, and then back to her desk, “and I’m going to dump this out so neither of you decide to take it for yourself.” 

“You trust us that little?” 

“No, I just don’t want to explain to my husband why his daughters were in the alcohol without permission. Now, come on, we’re watching Reign and eating a shit ton of the cookies he baked.”

[yooksungjae]

tag game

tagged by: @ciscovibes ily rules: answer these questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better (probs won’t end up tagging 20 oops)

1. nicknames: raa is my nickname ;) my mum and her side of the family call me raathu a lot 2. gender: cis female 3. star sign: leo 4. height: i always thought i was 5′4″ but everyone i know keeps insisting im slightly taller & i got measured recently and i think i am taller but idk so maybe 5′5″ or something 5. time right now: 12:03pm 6. birthday: july 31st 7. favourite bands: dslkjfsdlk who has favourites anymore thats too much. uhh i’ve been listening to a lot of the neighbourhood recently??? idk 8. favourite solo artists: again idk but i mean lana del rey is always a classic and i’ve been listening to some gin wigmore too 9. song stuck in my head: think by kaleida (and it’s been so long tbh thank u John Wick (2014)) 10. last movie you watched: justice league probably 11. last show i watched: izombie!! i started it recently bc i wanted a new show to watch on my train journeys and im love 12. when did i create my blog: i can never forget this it was on new years eve of 2011 lmao 13. what do i post: .......everything??? i can’t categorise it 14. last thing i googled: willa fitzgerald. i think i wanted to make gifs or something idk  15. do i have any other blogs: yeah i have a blog that’s specifically for rp stuff 16. do i get asks: sometimes... where are my FANS :’( 17. why i chose my url: keanu reeves came to me in a dream and told me i had to and id do anything for him 18. following: 157 (i need to follow more people honestly....) 19. followers: 0 spiritually 20. average hours of sleep: i dont know her 21. lucky number: i don’t have one but when i was younger for a lil while it was 64 22. instruments: i used to play the keyboard was p Damn Good at it! i haven’t in ages but i want to pick it up again. and my vocal chords i guess 23. what am i wearing: grey pyjama top and grey sweatpants #cool 24. dream job: torbjorn voice line writer 25. dream trip: classy vacation in italy and also hitting up paranormal hotspots on a roadtrip 26. favourite food: pasta hoe right here 27. nationality: norwegian 28. favourite season: winter/spring

i tag: @eridiumblight, @aisakataiga, @clamusclonus, @dismalchords, @maxcaulfld, @allisonarghent, @fustuqhalabi, @heylaykiyoko, @voidofthestars, @lesbian-kara, @denis-villeneuve, @boybetterrun, @alrightboyo, @katiestevns, @maliatale & honestly anyone who wants to do it!!! get wild friends

[stellarcellardweller]

Bleach characters reacting to someone making fun of their chubby s/o?

I can’t remember all the characters so I’ll just name a handful I hope that’s okay!!

(Slightly NSFW)

Ichigo

He sees some prick bullying his s/o for being “Chubby” and he’s PISSED

Nobody picks on his s/o and gets away with it

He full on dropkicks the guy, no questions asked

He beats the shit out of him and makes him apologize

He’s an absolute demon to the poor dude but he turns to his s/o and smiles so sweetly

This sweet lil strawberry takes them out to dinner afterwards

He reminds them how beautiful they are to him constantly and that anyone who disagrees is a dumbass

Bless this strawberry

Uryu

When he sees some guy harassing you about your weight he is furious

He refrains from shooting him

Though an arrow to the face would be an improvement

He refrains from phsyical harm as he is a quincy and he must be calm cool and collected

But damn does he rip him a new one verbally

And if the guy keeps going he will punch him

He takes his s/o home and they watch a movie with lots of snuggles

He rants on about how blind that idiot was for not seeing how great you are

After he cools down you both watch your movie you corny couple

Orihime

She slaps that jerk and tells him off in a passive aggressive way

Tells him he’s just mean because he’s insecure about himself

Takes her s/o’s hand and walks off with them

“Forget about then y/n-chan, I think you’re perfect the way you are!”

How could you still be upset with this nugget c’mon

She supports you the rest of the night and reminds you how great you are

Yasutora ‘Chad’

Hoo-wee lemme tell y’all

This boy may be cool as a cucumber 99.999% of the time

But when he saw this Idioto insulting his s/o he was El Pissed-o

He’s right behind his s/o and they can tell by the look on the guys face like he just saw death

He probably peed his pants a bit too

Technically he attacked them verbally

And he vowed to defend his s/o

So he punches that guy into next Tuesday

He scoops his s/o up and carries them

He tells them he understands how they feel because he too was picked on for his size

But it doesn’t  matter, becauses he sees them as they are: perfect

Reassuring cuddles the rest of the night

Bless this gentle tol

Rukia

She wasn’t sure what was going on at first

But the second she realized, that asshole was DEAD

This smol GF kicked ass and put this dude to shame

Gives him a piece of her mind

Then she smiles to her s/o and takes their arm, walking off with them

“How about we go somewhere and eat y/n?”

When they refuse she knows what’s up

She tells them that that guy is just an idiot and he loves them for who they are

“You’re not even fat! You’re cute!”

After dinner she goes home with them and watch a cute movie to cheer them up

Urahara

He may be a chill man, but he wasn’t chill when he saw his s/o getting bullied

He looked calm but his s/o saw the rage in his eyes

He talked to the guy, telling him he wasn’t concerned for his s/o

He was concerned for him

The dude didn’t even get to finish swinging his first punch before he was on the damn floor

He just stares down at him with that creepy, murderous smile and threatens his life

He walks his s/o home and tells them how much he loves their body type

And how he loves that ass

And those boobs

He takes you out on a date and spoils you the rest of the day

Then he reminds you how perfect you are in bed aaaaye

Grimmjow

He was already by his s/o’s side just like that. Poof.

He just stands there and laughs for a good minute

Not because the insults were funny, but because this dumbass was stupid enough to actually insult his s/o

He then proceeds to beat the shit out of this poor guy and merely kills him

His s/o had to drag him away

“[CENSORED INSULTS EVERY SECOND]”

He finally cool down when you’re a good five miles from the dude

He says you’re beautiful the way you are and if anyone disagrees they can [CENSORED]

He cuddles you and takes you clothes shopping

Tells you you look good in every outfit this dork

Gin

He happened to overhear this man insulting hi dearest s/o

He approached the man with that evil freaking grin he does

“Oh, my.. Do tell me I heard wrong..”

But he knows he didn’t

So he breaks that bastards legs

He takes s/o out to a comedy movie and makes them smile and makes them feel like an absolute princess/prince again

He even buys them flowers

Renji

This man has 0 tolerance for that shit lemme tell ya rn

Instant ass kicking and yelling

He makes that dick apologize before kicking his ass further

He scoops up his s/o and carries them off

“Fuck that guy, you’re more special than he can ever understand!”

He reassures you the whole entire night

Holds you and keeps asking you if you’re alright

Renji you should be asking that guy jfc

He makes you your favourite food at home to cheer you up

You snuggle in a blanket fort bc it’s cute af

Ulquiorra

Oh look a new punching bag

oops, he killed it

He doesn’t even give a damn about killing such trash

“You are not even fat, I fail to see the childish purpose of calling you such”

He takes you home and lets you cry into him

He doesn’t exactly understand why you’re upset, but he tries his best to comfort you

Holds you the rest of the night and reminds you how beautiful you are

Anyone who disagrees doesn’t live to disagree

Toshiro

He stormed over to that douche canoe and advised that he stopped being childish or there would be consequences

But of course the guy made fun of his height

BIG MISTAKE

He kicked that guy’s sorry ass

He’s 4 foot kick your ass

He tells his s/o that the boy is immature and blinded by their beauty

He takes them home and watches a movie with them while he snuggles them

He gives his s/o loving kises and tells them all about how he thinks they’re special in every way

And how he gets picked on for his size too

But as long as they have him, no one will get away with it

He don’t tolerate that shit boi

Kenpachi

The only reason this guy could be making fun of Zaraki’s s/o was simply because they had a death wish

That’s the only reason he can think of, anyhow

He doesn’t typically bother with weaklings that waste his time

But mess with his s/o, and you’re worth the bloodshed

Abra-Cadabra he’s dead

He puts his s/o on his shoulder and smirks

“Ah, c’mon f/n. Nobody’s gonna miss that prick.”

He sits you down and watches the sunrise with you and tells you it’s not as beautiful as you

At home, he totally lets you take a bath with him

Points out all the beautiful things about your body that he sees

And all the sexy things

Then he pulls some smooth moves aaaaye

Sorry I’m a total dork not sorry

I got kinda corny at some parts but I hope this was good!