#i would. i want to see kunikida and chuuya sing dirty girl.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

okay so awhile ago @zukkaoru and i made a nerdy prudes must die au for bsd and we kind of went off with it and the soundtrack is stuck in my head so look at who would be who (explanations under the cut):

kunikida - grace chasity

yosano - steph lauter

dazai - pete spankoffski

ranpo - richie lipschitz

poe - ruth fleming

chuuya - max jägerman

fukuchi - wiggly

bram - nibbly

sigma - blinky

fyodor - tinky

nikolai - pokey

gin - kyle

tachihara - jason

jouno - detective shapiro

tecchou - officer bailey

mori - mayor lauter

elise - miss tessburger

cheerleaders - higuchi (brenda), naomi (stacy), kajii (brooke)

kyouka - reese

jun’ichiro - joey's bbq monologue guy

atsushi - bbq jon/trevor

kenji - bbq angela

akutagawa - bbq mariah/caitlyn

mushitaro - corey dorris' cop (f-ing transcendent cop)

mark - dan reynolds

john - donna

hirotsu - miss mulberry

nathaniel - boy jerry

guy koyou tried running away with - mark chasity

koyou - karen chasity

margaret - bryce’s reporter

louisa - paul

lucy - emma

kunikida as grace bc he has all his ideals and he's just so... idk how to describe it in a way that doesn't sound mean bc i mean it so affectionately but he has the vibes of slowly losing his beans. also... just PICTURE him singing "dirty girl" YOOOOO and like if you ship kunichuu, then it's also kunikida freaking out bc he's thinking romantically about someone from the mafia. also he deserves to go wild <3

yosano as steph bc Vibes <333 dazai as pete (and this is not shipping yosano and dazai... they're just friends in this) bc he's smart and would 100% get all caught up in something like this also bc we're making chuuya max so like they're rivalry tehe. now i know you could argue that atsushi should be pete and akutagawa should be steph... but this stemmed from kunichuuzai, sooooo. dazai could also be steph, but we thought that yosano fit steph better than pete

ranpo as richie bc there was literally no good place for ranpo. he's too smart. but richie is also smart and it'd just be silly. maybe now ranpo can live (for a lil bit oops) the childhood he never had...

poe as ruth bc he would KILL "just for once" look me in the face and tell me i'm wrong

chuuya as max bc gravity powers and dead!max's powers are similar, chuuya has the anger issues to be max, plus he and kunikida would get to sing "dirty girl" together. i also feel like "literal monster" could be a song in reference to chuuya and i feel like (in a kind of self-deprecating way), chuuya would sing that about himself

we made the decay of angels the lords in black bc it FIT!!! fukuchi as wiggly bc leader, bram as nibby bc... vampire... mouth..., sigma as blinky bc they've got eyes on the casino and know everything about all the staff and customers and such, fyodor as tinky bc tinky is prolly the most sadistic one, and nikolai as pokey bc nikolai is most likely to cause a musical apocalypse

gin as kyle and tachihara as jason is just so silly~ and hirotsu as miss mulberry bc he's trying his best to wrangle a bunch of depressed teenagers all the time. higuchi, naomi, and kajii are the cheerleaders (we invented a third one specifically for kajii) bc we think they'd be good cheerleaders lol

jouno as shapiro bc VIBES and wants to uphold the law and tecchou as bailey would just be SO FUNNY and they would just annoy each other soooooo much! we made mushitaro corey dorris' cop bc it would be funny

mori as the mayor is great bc yosano is steph... and that's just depressing ya know? and then elise as tessburger for obvious reasons

we just thought mark and john would be a funny dan and donna tbh. margaret as bryce's reporter specifically so she can blame nathaniel hawthorne. nathaniel as boy jerry bc ViRgiNiTy RoCkS

jun'ichiro as joey's bbq guy bc let's be real... jun'ichiro is an AMAZING actor. kenji HAD to be in th ebbq monologues bc cows. then akutagawa is a theatre kid i know this he told me personally (or he would be if he wasn't in the mafia and had a family and went to school). atsushi is kind of there just so we can hear him say, "my barbecue" the way jon does lol