#oopps i dont know what happened there.

[lillaydee]

Naiveté - My Pompous Sister-Cousin Ruined My Life

Joel Miller (AU) / F Reader

Someone went online to rant about her bad luck.

Inspired by @jolapeno's epistolary dear-uary challenge.

WARNINGS: Angst, Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel is a Fucking Idiot. Joel is a Clueless Idiot

Divider by the fabulous @saradika

WORD COUNT: 3510

MASTER LIST

1. Dear Aunt Prue

*******************************************

Section: Rant

Posted by: ScornedSister1234

My Pompous Sister-Cousin Ruined My Life.

I need to get this out. I literally have no one to talk to about this. I have suffered in silence for 30 years. Well, no more. Strap in people, this will be a long one.

I (F35) grew up with my cousin L (F35). Her parents died and mine took her in. The day before they brought her home, my Mom sat me down and told me I needed to be nice to L. She has no one but us. Being 5, I was just excited to have a sister. She moved in, and we became best friends. Practically sisters. We even introduced ourselves as sisters. We did everything together. Literally inseparable.

School started, and as we grew older it became clearer L was nothing like me. She didn’t like to play or have fun. All she wanted to do was read and study. My friends made fun of her, called her all sorts of names, and when they found out we lived together, they made fun of me too. I had to bear the shame of having such a nerdy sister for so long. I tried to get her to join my friends and I, but she was never interested.

One good thing I’ll say about L is that she knows her place. She helped my Mom around the house and was very quick to offer her services whenever needed. I had no problems with this, until my Mom started saying I should be more helpful too, like L. I got in trouble just because I didn’t do the things she did. My Mom started a household chore chart, but I hated doing them. L didn’t want me to get in trouble, so she did them for me. She was found out, and I got in trouble anyway. You would be hard-pressed to believe she wasn’t the golden child.

I remember when I got my first make up set, we put some on each other’s faces for fun, but she quickly wiped it off hers. She said they made her face itchy. By dinnertime, her face had swollen up like a balloon and was red raw from her scratching. My parents panicked and took her to the hospital. The doctor kept asking her what she put on her face and she kept saying she didn’t put anything on it. They kept her in the hospital that night, doing tests on her, trying to find out what she was allergic to. When the results came out, I got in trouble for putting make-up on her. How was I supposed to know she was allergic? I was 12! And hello, she put some on my face too!

Every time there was a test, she would ace hers. I managed to scrape by, but whenever my parents saw her results they would hug her and treat her to something special. Of course, I didn’t get anything, but Miss Prissy Goody Two Shoes would always beg my parents to get something for me too. And my parents loved her for it. Golden hearted L. What a good girl. I should be more like her.

When she got a full scholarship to Harvard, my Dad acted like she was about to discover the cure for cancer or something. My Mom burst into tears and told her how much her parents would have been proud of her. God. It’s been years. Give it up already. They died years ago. Still dead, last I checked - no matter how many times you mention them. Newsflash Mom, dead people can’t be proud. They don’t feel anything! See? You don’t need to be a doctor to know that! It’s so frustrating! She was put on a pedestal. And I was sick and tired of it.

Do I say any of these things to her? No! Cause she’s an orphan, we mustn’t be mean to her. Cause she’s perfect, but poor her, she’s got no one. We should treat her nice. I did it all, even if my heart was screaming.

She went off to college and came home every few weeks – we lived an hour away. I have to say, I loved not having her around. I thought it was finally peaceful around the house. No perfect Miss L to show me up. But then, my parents made me get a job. I had to get the first job I could get, making pennies. My parents refused to help me buy anything anymore. I’m a grown up now, they told me. I had to find my own way.

When Nell came home for a break, she brought shiny new gadgets with her. She even had the latest iPhone, an iPad and even a MacBook. I was seething. How could my parents buy her those things and not me? Turns out, they didn’t.

It was then I found out. She had a generous trust fund. Her paternal Grandparents were very wealthy, and they set up a trust for her before they died. She never had to worry about starting her life once she graduated. She had money at the ready for a house, a car, tuition - which she did not need to use, living expenses, while I had to work 9 hours a day at a dead end job, scraping by, even while still living with my parents. Why don’t I have access to the same generous trust, you ask? Ah... we’re maternal cousins, and unfortunately, our shared Grandparents didn’t have two pennies to rub together.  

I tried to reason with my parents that she should give us some of the money, since they took her in. Apparently, the trust had been paying for her expenses since her parents passed. No wonder she had every opportunity at her feet. I could be where she is too if I had the money. My parents told me that the trust doesn’t give her the money, they get sent a receipt or something, I don’t really understand, and they reimburse her. You would think she would share the wealth, but no… she kept it all to herself, the self-important bitch. It would break the rules of the trust, my Mom said, and Prissy Miss L could never break the rule. Never mind that the person who had to give up her life as a single child was taking the bus to work and counting pennies every month.

It was humiliating. I was left alone, looking like a loser with no prospects, while she was flying high, well on her way to be a doctor. She was all everyone could talk about. My friends from high school, the very ones who used to make fun of her, began looking up to her. Suddenly this nerd they used to laugh at was an admirable person. People began telling their children to look to L. Be like L.

L, L, L, L, L.

But… she’s still my sister. So I kept it all bottled up inside. I had to accept the truth. She is the kindest, most sincere, most empathetic person I know. And despite my annoyance of her perfection, she is my best friend in the whole wide world, and I love her. She is perfect, even I had to admit that. In all areas, save for one.

Just because she’s smart and kind, doesn’t mean she’s very… socially aware. She seems to be very confused when it comes to men. She couldn’t seem to grasp that she, as a woman, is lacking. She’s too career oriented, too bookish, too proper.

Too boring.

The men she fell for has been, so far, way out of her league. Not to be mean, but she’s plain and dowdy. No way they would want her. I tried to warn her, get her to take better care of herself, so she would have a chance. But she never listens. Men after men after men. I tried to talk her up to these men, but they always ended up falling for me instead. It broke my heart to break it to her, but the heart wants what it wants, and before you guys go for me, let me tell you this - she always seemed to be okay with it.

How do I know she was okay with it? Because she introduced me to my husband, E (M38). He’s a heart surgeon at the hospital she works at. He’s very sweet, treated me well and took very good care of me. He proposed after only a year of dating, and we had an amazing marriage. He took me places I’d never even dreamed of, I finally got to the places, he bought me nice things, moved me into his amazing house, it was a dream. I didn’t even have to lift a finger. He hired someone to do it all, just so I could rest and be pampered the way I deserve. He called me his princess and showered me with gifts and basically gave me the world.

A few months ago, I decided to visit L. She’s a successful surgeon now, always working. I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like. When I arrived, her neighbour, J (M36), was fixing her faucet. He was a very good looking man. And I could tell immediately she’s into him. I can’t believe it. She’s doing it again. She’s going after a man who is way out of her league. This man is a man’s man… a manly man. He should be worshipped and treated like the king that he is. And L? She was far too busy and career-oriented to give him what he needed. I could only shake my head at her blindness. Poor L. Always wanting something she couldn’t have. But what could I do? She never learns.

A month later, I caught my husband kissing the widower next door. It was disgusting. I filed for divorce and immediately left the house. I had nowhere to go, so I went to L’s. She had the space, and it wasn’t as if she was always home anyway. We had moved a few hours flight away from our parents by then. She listened to me as I cried and told me I could stay for as long as I needed.

Because she was so busy, I spent a lot of time with J. He’s a good listener and was always willing to help. We fell for each other. It was inevitable. But my husband was delaying the divorce. He refused to even sign the papers. So J and I kept our love for each other quiet. Guys he’s the perfect man. He never hesitated to come lend a hand and ear, and most important of all, a shoulder to cry on. He’s so understanding, so empathetic, he’s just… perfect. I don’t think I have ever been in love like that before. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with J.  

About a month ago, after 2 months of being in denial and fighting the divorce, E finally signed the papers. I was so happy. It means J and I could make our relationship public. We could finally be a real couple. I saw him get some flowers delivered, I knew he was planning something for us that night. So I got all dressed up for a night out and just before we left for the date, J finally kissed me. It was the perfect kiss. I felt like I was soaring on cloud nine.

Here’s where everything went wrong. L saw the kiss and suddenly got all heartbroken about it. She went inside, packed a bag and left, and no one has heard from her since. And the sad thing? She was all dressed up! For some odd reason, she thought J was taking HER out! And then had the audacity to get all butthurt when she misunderstood?

It wouldn’t have been a problem – it’s not my fault she had deluded herself into an imaginary date with J. Except, J, the sweet, soft, kind-hearted soul that he is, felt sorry for her, and tried to coax her instead. He went into her house and followed her around as she packed her bag, telling her that we just fell in love. It just happened, that he didn’t do it to hurt her. L kept quiet and just left. He then told me he shouldn’t have kissed me in L’s presence, that he had always known that L had an unrequited crush on him, and that he needed time to figure out what to do about L, to let her down gently. He needed to, they live next door to each other. It would be weird for me to move in with him with her being all heartbroken next door. So we have put everything on pause since then, so that L could come to terms with reality better.

But ever since L left, J changed. To this day, he mopes around, waiting on his porch for her to come back, calling and texting her over and over. He went to all the neighbours asking if they had heard from her, even going so far as going to the hospital she works at and waited for her there in his free time, leaving me hanging.

And I don’t know how, but E and my parents found out about what happened, and shockingly, they took L’s side. I tried to explain that whatever they had heard were lies, but they hung up on me. They refused to take my calls, and J was a shell of the person that he was. He refused to pick up where we left off, too worried about what L would do if we did.

So now, I am still living at L’s, and I have nothing. E cut off any access I had to his accounts, and because of the prenup, I would be getting nothing in the divorce. My parents had blocked me, and I have no money to go home. My friends have deserted me, too worried about betraying E despite what he did. L has, so far, still granted me access to her delivery account, so I will at least be able to eat, but I don’t know how long I have before she cuts me off too.

I cannot believe she would do this to me. I cannot believe she would make this about her. I cannot believe she would paint herself as the victim, when it was her delusions that made her all heartbroken, taking everyone I care about with her. After 30 years living as sisters. My parents took her in when she had no one, and I was always nice to her. And this is how she repays me?

I don’t know where I will go from here, I don’t know how I am going to survive. I begged E to help me, but he kept blocking me everywhere. God knows how long I will have access to this phone, he might take my name out of his plan too. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone.

-17,092 hearts

Top Comments:

User08356

Waah waah waah… me… me… me… God, do you even hear yourself woman?

DandyLion

Oh My God. I don’t have to meet this woman to know I don’t like her. She just happens to end up with all the guys L liked? And just happened to find her husband kissing the widower next door after meeting J? Sure, ScornedSister1234, the stupidest of us believe you.

KittyLady

I have never had the urge to hammer some common sense into someone’s head so much. Except the common sense might come in the shape of hot, molten lava.

User28574

Lady, go sell your stupid somewhere else. We’re all stocked up here.

UnmentionedDaughter

To all the commenters, listen up. I am J’s daughter. That’s right. J has a daughter. Did ScornedSister1234 forget to mention me? Oh, that’s right. She doesn’t even know my actual name, despite being told so many times. She claimed to be so in love with my Dad, who by the way, is not into her AT ALL, yet, forgot to mention that he has a teenage daughter. Also, she had not so subtly suggested for my Dad to send me to live on my uncle’s ranch so that he didn’t have to worry about taking care of me. Subtle, NELL. As if he would ever. He didn’t dump me when my egg-donor left, he would never do that now. He’s a father first, and if you had actually tried to get your vapid head out of your ass, you would realize that.

I was really going to keep quiet, but she smeared my favourite person apart from my Dad, uncle and aunt to the world. So I am not holding back.

FYI, you can listen to L’s version of the story here – skip to 32:44, the Dear Aunt Prue section.

This woman is straight up lying. My Dad is not into her. He’s just a kind man who doesn’t know how to say NO (I know, I gave him a hard time about it, don't worry). This man will help just about anyone, even a deranged woman like Nell. And that day he had flowers delivered? He was taking L out for dinner. It was her birthday. Not this deranged woman. L.

L is the woman my Dad is crazy about. He’s been in love with her ever since the day we moved in. And that kiss she mentioned? He didn’t kiss her. She attacked him – just surged and kissed him. He pushed her away immediately by the way, and I swear I could see him almost gag. How do I know this? Because my Dad was standing not even two steps in front of me, all ready to take L out, and this shameless woman came over all dressed up, asking my Dad to take her out to celebrate her divorce instead.

If you listen to L’s version, you will find out that Nell has been stealing men from under L all their lives (seriously, go listen to it). And reading this, I now know why. She’s just a bitter nobody who is angry the little girl her family took in, the one who supposedly had nothing and no one is doing so much better in life than she is. And here she is, badmouthing L (who is the loveliest, coolest person EVER by the way) while still LIVING IN HER HOUSE, feeding herself with L’s delivery account! Oh, and you’d think she’d be eating on the cheap, right? Nope. I saw a man deliver from a freaking steakhouse last night! Shameless much, Nell?

Oh, and if you’re worried about money, how about you come out of L’s house, live in the real world and get a job!

L, if you read this, please call Dad. He’s miserable without you. I miss you. Dad misses you. Please, L, come back. Give him a chance to explain. Please. I’m begging you.

Edit: Oh my God ladies! Stop asking for my Dad’s number! He wants L! No one else! Sheesh!

MrsDrJr

NELL, it’s me, your neighbour? Your ex-friend? I’m here to set things straight about E and the widower next door.

That widower is an 83 year old woman with dementia. She gets confused sometimes and thinks every kind man around her is her late husband. These men, most of whom are doctors, give her a small peck on the cheek sometimes when she gets confused to appease her, hold her hand and take her on walks around her garden every now and again. Nell knows this. Everyone knows this. So no, she didn’t leave her husband because he was cheating. After listening to the section at the link UnmentionedDaughter provided, coupled with the fact that she couldn’t stop yapping about her sister’s hot contractor neighbour since that day she visited, I am convinced she just left dear, kind, hardworking E for J just because she could see L liked him, and that it was reciprocated.

By the way, I also know L, I met her at some work/charity events a few times, as well as the hospital's Christmas parties. UnmentionedDaughter is right, L really is everything she mentioned and oh-so-badass. She’s the woman I want my daughters to grow up to be. She saved my daughter’s life, so I and all of my family and friends would go scorched earth to defend L. So yeah, stop with the lies, and lay on the bed you made, NELL.

User94587

Hey, I saw this post going viral, but there’s nothing here? Can someone tell me where I can get the content?

User17345

She deleted it. Got so much flak and hatred. Dumbo thought people would actually side with her. SMH.

User08966

God, I came back here to see if there’s an update. What a mess. Did UnmentionedDaughter ever update? Did J and L get together?

---

3. ?????

[w0rnoutsock]

3 & 4?

hI ANON!! thank you for the asks! i love doing these hehe so let's dive right in.

n3: Hottest food someone can eat? (from this questions game)

i'm gonna be kind of mainstream with this, but whenever my girlfriend eats an icecream cone i get absolutely bricked... it's just the way you're supposed to be licking the little droplets that drip off the cone, trailing her tongue along it, filling her mouth with white sticky cream (conveniently enough, her favorite icecream flavor is vanilla) that slowly melts on her tongue.. it's even hotter when she sucks the top, and gets her pretty lips all messy with white stuff. it's fucking hot. and she knows i get so fucking hard by that, so she often glances over at me while pretending to be an innocent pretty girl. oopps sorry. my mind wandered a bit too far...

n4: Genie granted you three NSFW wishes. What are you wishing for? (from this questions game)

mmh, this is a kinda hard question, ive thought abt what to reply for a while, but i think i came up with pretty good answers. >:9 (not in any particular order) 1. voodoo dolls/ toys that mirror the sensation on your genitals when being touched - i saw a post about this earlier, (sorry i dont remember whose it was) but just the thought of someone else controlling your pleasure from afar/by touching an object that mirrors the same touch on your body, would be so fucking hot. imagine being at work and whoever has your toy randomly decides to slide it in themselves and ride it. you'd feel every. single. bit. of it. you wouldn't be able to focus on your work, at all, as the pleasure would be unbearable, but you gotta keep still, because you're in public. Or imagine whoever has your doll, starts unexpectedly touching and teasing all over your body under your clothes, you'd feel the warmth of their hands roaming around on your skin, but you'd have no idea where it comes from or what is happening. god fucking damn it, that'd be heavenly. 2. being able to be bred/creampied without risking to get pregnant. (๑///๑) (sure pills & vasectomy exist but yanno) at that point, i could reach my true potential of being a slut boy and getting bred sososo much without worrying a single bit. 3. i wish (to an extent) monsterfucking was real (๑///๑) so stuff such as, big tall anthro creatures/entities (like slenderman) or people with inhuman features (fangs, claws, tails, inhuman height especially) urghhh. -- end -- again thank you sm for the questions hehe!! hope you liked my replies anon <3

[midqueenally]

I got the witcher books for christmas because my mom thought it was a brand new series 😂 but after watching season one i dont need to know what happens next like I could wait for more than two years which is not a good singn

Lolol I guess we could wait bc same 😅 I tried reading the first book months ago, you know to get hype before the show... And well, I never finished it oopp🤭🤷

[ishouldgetatumbler]

KilluGon in the bath together. The water is cold.

Oopps i didnt mean to leave in here so long

I think I had a reason, but I dont remember it.

This isn’t quite what you asked for but, you asked me so you probably expected something weird.

Some kind a weird winter AU, possibly post canon, who gives a shit.

The important part is both Gon and Killua are 18 at least or something.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(Nothing happens, it’s really lame)

“What did you do?” Killua asked angrily

Gon pouted reflexively. “Why do you think this is my fault?”

Killua crossed his arms at the question.

“It’s only you, me and the wolf you tamed on the way here, so unless our new pet can freeze bathwater, I don’t know who you expect me to blame.”

Gon had started fidgeting.

“But I didn’t do anything!”

Killua closed his eyes and willed his headache to stop.

they’d hiked halfway across a frozen hellscape larger then most countries, and all he’d wanted a warm bath.

And now the tub was filled with a solid sheet of black ice.

Killua massaged his temples.

Gon was looking up at him with those big, guilty puppy eyes.

The man was twenty now and the crush Killua had had since he was twelve still hadn’t settled the fuck down.

Jesus he couldn’t even stay mad.

Killua breathed in,

Then huffed a slow breath out.

“Help me clear this thing out.” Was all he said.

Gon smiled.

Half an hour of steady, frigid work and the ice was more or less displaced.

Kilua twisted the knob and pressed it in to start the hot water.

“Oh” Came the light reply from behind him.

“Oh?” Killua asked, accusation readied as back to his best friend.

Gon winced.

“I um… I accidentally put it on cold water.”

Killua pinched the bridge of his nose.

With how frigid the whole place was, it was likely that “Cold” meant “barely not ice”

“No wonder that didn’t work you-”

Kilua stopped short.

Gon had taken off his shirt.

why?

“Gon?”

Killua couldn’t manage his actual question, but he did speak without shrieking.

Gon hummed curiously and looked over, undoing his belt.

“Why”

Killua swallowed.

“What are you…?”

Gon tugged the leather cord from around his hips.

“It was your turn first, now it’s mine.”

Killua swallowed again, and realized he was staring.

He still couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“I mean, or we could share.”

[lillaydee]

Naiveté Master List

Inspired by @jolapeno's epistolary dear-uary challenge

Sigh... I swear this was supposed to be a one shot. I have no idea what happened.

Part 1 - Dear Aunt Prue

Part 2 - My Pompous Cousin-Sister Ruined My Life

Part 3 -