#ooooohhhh booooyyyy

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Back in the nightmare

Part 8 of season 3 from my ongoing series set in the sentient Sg/Lost Light au from @cuppajj is out....

I'm not going to say much. I'm not even going to say enjoy...

Trigger Warning: Gore, Dismemberment, Trauma(?), Sentient Sg/Lost Light (yes, they are their own warning now)

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It was time. 

Deep down, Rodimus knew that he could never escape the Lost Light. Not as long as his spark beat. And even then, he doubted that the Lost Light would ever truly let him go. They have burned themselves into his spark and mind and made a home there. 

Even if Rodimus and ‘his team’ managed to shut the Lost Light down, rendering them forever frozen in a state of nothingness. Turning them into nothing more than a ship, their memory would live on. They successfully casted a shadow over the lives of not only him and his brother, but also over all those they killed and, in extension, the families of those who died on board. Cybertronians who will never return home to those they love, or call a friend. And it would stay that way forever. Nothing would be able to change history, and even if he went back in time, Rodimus was sure that the stream of time would stay the same. 

Never changing and always leading to the same outcome. 

A terrible thought, if he was allowed to admit. To think that everything he has ever done would lead to this, no matter what. It made him feel… sad. 

But then again, maybe there was a universe where everything was different. Where he was a good mech and where the Lost Light wasn’t like his. Maybe this other Rodimus would also have a Phoenix. One untouched by the wickedness of Lightlost. One who had to never be subjected to their manipulation and corrections. Ah, but who would be able to ask these kinds of questions? Who could tell him if this kind of  Universe even existed? Brainstorm might have been able to tell him at one point, but he was long gone. Dead, grey, and propped up in Swerve’s next to Perceptor.

Rodimus could still remember walking into Swerve’s for the first time in centuries. He was expecting to find nothing, maybe some corpses lying around, but never would he have imagined to see some of his crew being propped up like toys. Sitting on tables with drinks in their servos, or leaning against the bar as if they were ordering something. But then, there was Phoenix amongst all of the corpses. Sitting in his favorite booth, drinking his energon and studying for an entrance exam he never got to take. And as he saw him, his face lit up with so much joy, before he showed him around. Telling him how he made the bar more alive. How wrong it felt at first, but then he got used to it. Phoenix got used to propping corpses up like toys! And with the Lost Light always listening, Rodimus couldn’t tell his brother how that wasn’t normal. How this was-

The prime was pulled out of his thoughts by Dominus. He doesn’t know where the turbofox came from, but he was still thankful. Who knows where his mind would have wandered too, if he didn’t decide to trot over and pump his head against Rodimus’ leg. 

“I doubt you have ever seen the ship…” Muttered the prime, as he ran a servo over Dominus’ head. “Back then, when we started our journey, we didn’t know that the ship was alive. So, we simply had our adventures… our fun. We just lived and did some things you and the rest of the DJD wouldn’t like… Heh… Thinking back to those days still feels strange… To think the Lost Light was alive through all of that. Maybe if I was a better captain, I would have realized it sooner…” Rodimus grew quiet for a bit, as he stared out of the window and towards the Lost Light. This was supposed to be his ship, but now? It didn’t feel like that anymore.

The Lost Light no longer was his home. And he doubted he would ever remember it as such. 

“Alright… I better find Kaon before I make my way over there.” Rodimus couldn’t help but chuckle at Dominus’ look. For someone who underwent ‘domestication’ that mech still has a lot of personality. Most likely thanks to the efforts of the DJD. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to scare him, cross my spark, I just have… something to give to him before I charge into the lion's den… And no, I can’t take you with me. On both trips. I don’t want to hear Phoenix’s whining, should something happen to you.” And with that said, Rodimus gave Dominus a small, cocky, salute, before making his way to where he knew Kaon was. Knocking on his door and entering. Scaring the poor mech half to death. 

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Look,” he started, while pulling out a data-pad from within his subspace. Walking over to the table in the room and placing it there, because Rodimus knew that if he took one step towards the skittish mech, he would probably scare him half to death. “I know that you don’t trust me. Pit, I probably scare you by just standing in this room, but I need you to have this.” Rodimus looked over at Kaon, noting how the mech was shaking like one of those leaves found on earth, before raising his servos in a non threatening gesture and stepping away. “These are all the files I could collect on one of my… ‘assignments’. He was a mech who did some ‘domestications’ during his time as an Autobot and might be able to help Dominus get his life back.”

“And why are you… why are you giving me that?” Asked Kaon, as he walked over to the data-pad. Picking it up and looking through the files to make sure they were legit. After all, Tarn might trust the prime, but that didn’t mean that Kaon did. “I don’t understand why you would try to help Dominus, when you were one of those who did this to him.”

Rodimus was quiet for a moment, before letting out a defeated sigh and shaking his head. Turning around towards the door and leaving the room, but not before answering the question. “Through a twist of fate, or a cruel joke from Primus and Unicron, I not only wound up with one brother, but two.” And with those strangely ominous words said, Rodimus left. Making his way towards his ship where Softstreet, Fungus and Pharma were already waiting for him, to go over some parts of the plan, before it was time for the prime to go back to the Lost Light. With Pharma coming with him in case Phoenix or someone else would need medical treatment right away and the DJD following a few moments after, while the Scavengers stayed behind together with Softstreet, Fungus and Dominus in case their plan goes wrong and they have to make a quick escape. 

And as Rodimus landed his small ship inside the hangar of the Lost Light and took the first step outside, he could feel nothing but contempt towards the ship. But he pushed past that feeling and made his way towards where he assumed was his brother. Calling out to the Lost Light every now and then in the hopes of drawing them out, much to Pharma’s concern. He was trying to make them drop their act and do something, anything, but never did Rodimus get a reaction from them. Although, he could feel their invisible optics on him and the medic. How they raked over their frames, his especially, in something he would describe as happiness for seeing him back in his former glory. It made Rodimus’ plating bristle and spoiler hike up in defense. 

“Are you alright Rodimus? You seem to be more agitated than usual.” Asked Pharma softly, as he placed a comforting servo onto the speedsters shoulder. “If it’s because of your worry towards Phoenix, I am sure that he is fine. If not, I’ll be able to patch him up without any problem.”

Rodimus could only laugh dryly at Pharma’s question. “Agitated? Who? Me? No. It’s not agitation I am feeling, but… I believe someone is impressed by your work.” Said the prime with a small smirk on his lips, before he turned his head slightly to look at Pharma. “I mean, you did an amazing job. It probably was hard to rebuild my whole frame without the original as a reference.” That statement seemed to not only get Pharma talking about how he, and his team, rebuilt Rodimus’ frame and how he made sure everything was correctly put together and would function without any trouble, but also got the Lost Light’s attention. 

Good. 

Rodimus might doom the doctor to a fate worse than death, should their plan fail, but at least he was now someone the Lost Light would consider useful. The DJD though? Rodimus wasn’t sure what the Lost Light would do to them, but if push comes to shove and they should fail, Rodimus was willing to give the Lost Light the one thing they want, in exchange for the DJD to return freely to their ship. But that was only in case they would fail, and Rodimus was sure that they would succeed. 

They had to succeed. 

And with that in mind, the prime and doctor continued their journey through the empty halls of the Lost Light. With Rodimus noting how dirty the ship has become with no-one running through its halls and cleaning them. Although, the few paintings on the walls seemed to be taken care of quite well. Even the arrows and descriptions were still as fresh as the day they were painted. It made the prime think of the small paintings Phoenix made in their ship. Especially the one depicting every single Cybertronian Phoenix called his family, even Lightlost. He did once ask Phoenix why he didn’t paint over them, but he never got a clear answer. His brother always seemed to distract from the question, by either telling him about his day, or showing him what he was studying at the moment. 

After a while of walking around, and opening many different doors, or continuing if the door didn’t open, Rodimus and Pharma stumbled upon the medical bay. At first, Rodimus didn’t want to enter, but as Pharma said that he could hear something in there moving, the prime was quick to open it. Hoping that it would be Phoenix, but all he found was a grotesque scene of various body parts laying around and, if he wasn’t mistaken, the detached right gun arm of the poor mech laying on the berth was hanging from the ceiling. Wrapped up in cables that slowly retreated, taking the arm with them into the ceiling. 

While Rodimus was observing the room, Pharma was quick to rush over to the damaged mech. Checking his vitals, before starting to take care of his new patient. “Rodimus! Get over here! This mech is still alive!” Shouted the medic, and as the prime was close enough, he was quick to get him to help with saving the poor spark bleeding out in front of them. Or, at least he was bleeding out. Pharma successfully managed to save the dying mech from offlining. 

And as the spilled energon was wiped down from his frame, Rodimus recognized the wide optics staring back at him. “Thrillchaser? I thought the Lost Light would have killed you by now. You’re one sturdy bastard, if even dismemberment couldn’t kill you.” Oh, what Rodimus wouldn’t give for a camera right now, because Thrillchaser’s look was just too good. And it seemed like the flier had at least some sense of humor left in his spark, because he lifted his remaining arm, only to flip Rodimus off. Which caused the prime to laugh louder than he intended, before giving Thrillchaser the bird back. After that though, Rodimus helped Pharma in fixing the flier's damaged voice box. And despite the odds, they managed to find a fitting replacement for the broken mech. 

“First time… seeing me since… that day, and… and you give me the middle finger?” Thrillchaser asked in between coughs, while Rodimus only laughed and Pharma looked at them with the ‘disappointed grandpa look’. “Well, you sure enough deserve more after what you did, but seeing you like this… I think the Lost Light already made you suffer enough. Also, you flipped me off first. So, I was fully justified in doing the same to you.” Said the prime, before his cocky attitude shifted to one of concern. “Are you alright though? Can you move?”

“...My legs… can’t feel them… useless like this…” Muttered the mech quietly, as he slowly sat up. Minding his freshly patched up frame, or, at least, what remained of it. “Rodimus… Phoenix… He’s… He’s… Oh no…” Thrillchaser was becoming frantik, Rodimus could see that, but as he tried to calm the flier down, he got grabbed by the front of his plating and pulled down to be face to faceplate with Thrillchaser. “I… made mistakes… many of them… leaving Tankcrusher and Phoenix was….. was my…. was my biggest…. But… but…. made me watch… had to watch…” Thrillchaser’s optics had a hard time concentrating on the prime in front of him. They kept on flickering on and off, while his grip slowly slipped. Looks like the Energon loss was finally making him faint. And here he was wondering when exactly it would happen. “Primus… they made me watch…”

“What did they make you watch?” Asked Pharma softly, as he carefully separated the flier’s servo from the primes plating. Guiding Thrillchaser back down onto the medical berth with one servo, while the other clutched his in a comforting manner. “It’s okay, if you don’t want to tell us. It’s okay. Just keep talking with me.”

“N-no…. no…” Muttered Thrillchaser quietly, as he clutched Pharma’s servo as tightly as he could, before forcing his optics to concentrate on the prime standing behind the medic. Giving Rodimus a look the prime could only describe as horrified. “Took his wings… they… they took his wings and legs… Primus… it’s my fault… Everything is my fault!” He cried out. “Everything, my fault… Bessie… oh Bessie….”

Rodimus watched the broken mech cry, while Pharma did his best to comfort him. “Pharma… stay with him. Make sure that he doesn’t die, while I keep on searching. If something should happen, comm me.” Was all the prime said, before turning around and running out of the medi-bay. Transforming into his alt-mode as soon as he was in the hall and racing towards the halls towards the bridge. It was the only place coming to mind where the Lost Light could keep the youngspark. And if he wasn’t there, Rodimus was going to look in one of the many hab-suits.

It didn’t take long for Rodimus to end up in front of the bridge, but before he could enter, he received two messages. One from Pharma, who informed him that Thrillchaser just passed out and that he was going to move him towards the ship in the hangar, and one from Tarn, who informed him that they made it onto the ship and were now on their way to the place Rodimus told them to go to. And after sending a quick message back to both of them, Rodimus took one deep intake to calm his nerves, before entering the bridge. Finding the Holo-Avatar of Lightlost leaning against the captain's chair and talking to whoever was sitting in it. 

“Ah, welcome home captain. I was wondering when you would show up. Both of us were wondering that, isn’t that right?” Asked Lightlost sweetly, while they softly ran a servo over the helm of whoever they were speaking to. The room was too dark for Rodimus to make out who it was, but considering everything, the prime didn’t have to guess.

“Y-yes… Lightlost….” The voice that answered was quiet, barely even a whisper, but Rodimus could hear it clearly, and as the lights on the bridge turned on, he could see who was sitting on his chair. And by Primus and Unicron, did Rodimus wish that it would have been anyone else, because sitting in his chair was his brother. Young, innocent Phoenix, who no longer resembled the excited youngspark ready to show Rodimus his newest patch of Energon cookies, but rather a broken youngling who flinched just from the slightest movement.

And as Rodimus kept on staring at his brother's face, he couldn’t help the servo coming up to cover his mouth as he saw the missing wings and legs. This was sick, even for his standards, and combined with the fact that his once upbeat brother was now resembling him when he was sitting in that chair, it made his Energon boil.

How dare Lightlost ruin the only good thing in his life? 

Rodimus could feel his flames shoot out of the pipes on his arms, but before he could even take one step towards them, Lightlost wagged with their finger as if they were scolding a disobeying sparkling, before grabbing Phoenix’s right servo. “Ah, ah, ah, captain. I wouldn’t try anything, if I was you.”

“Why?” Asked the prime, which was met with a small chuckle from the holo-avatar, before their smile grew even sweeter. “Because, I will have to do something like this if you do.” And with one swift move of their servo, Lightlost ripped Phoenix’s servo clean off. Throwing it in front of the prime’s feet, while the youngling cried out in horror. 

“Because the little bird has only so many body parts left, before all that remains is his spark and head.”