#ooooh what could it be I wonder/j

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

“Beata Maria.”

What a wonderful blessing upon this hopelessly sinful world.

... What's this?

A gathering of powerful and prideful individuals can only spell trouble.

Sitting at a table, surrounded by them, exerted an immense pressure upon the room. The air seemed to thin, made icy and oppressive by those in attendance, representatives of their own domains. The dorm leaders were like kings perched upon their thrones, prepared to cross words or swords at a moment's notice. (For what it was worth, at least Kalim was a spot of sunshine in the otherwise strained space.)

Raven had been scribing for these occasions for months now, and still hadn't become fully accustomed to the atmosphere. Inevitably, some petty squabble, underhanded comment, or personal vendetta would disrupt the proceedings. If they were lucky, they'd escape with just some unresolved tension in the air. She took care to leave those instances out of the meeting notes.

Today, the attention was directed toward the front of the room. The headmaster consulted a packet as he crowed on.

“The final topic on our agenda is... Next week, we will be hosting an important guest from Noble Bell College to discuss future joint events. As a show of good will, I would like their representative to be granted a tour of our campus. This tour guide will then also serve as their chaperone for the duration of our guest's stay to ensure that they are comfortable and that all of their questions are promptly answered."

A hand shot up automatically.

"Yes, Rosehearts-kun?"

"If that is the case, sir, then I believe it would be wise for you to serve as this tour guide," the redhead suggested. "You are knowledgeable about our school's history, layout, staff, and curriculum. Therefore, you easily fulfill your own requirements."

There was a round of murmurs and nods from around the table.

"No, no!" Crowley insisted with the shake of his head. "I have many other duties to tend to as headmaster! What's more, it would be more fitting that someone on our guest's level—a fellow student—be the guide! This will better bolster a sense of camaraderie between the student bodies of our schools!"

... In other words, you don't wish to do the work yourself, Raven sighed, already having seen through her guardian's excuses. From the grimaces on everyone else's face, she deduced that they, too, had suspected as much.

Azul laced his fingers together and surveyed the room. "Well then, do we have any volunteers from amongst ourselves?"

"Pass." Leona leaned back in his chair with a grimace. "I'm not up for kissing ass."

"May I take that to mean that you are avaliable, Leona-san?" Azul pressed, still smiling.

"I said, pass," he snarled. "Don't make me repeat myself again."

"... Point taken. Anyone else?"

"I would offer, but... There is an unbirthday party scheduled the day of their arrival. I don't believe I would be able to fully commit myself to chaperoning our guest," Riddle confessed. "I cannot override the rules written by the Queen of Hearts."

"I, as well, am preoccupied. I'm to shoot for a magazine spread after class," Vil added, tucking a finger under his chin. "What about you, Azul? This is a prime opportunity to... as Leona so crudely put it, curry favor with another school of magic. I can't imagine that you wouldn't immediately jump at the chance."

"My, to think that my upperclassmen think so little of my intentions..." Azul sniffled dramatically—an innocent act. "Unfortunately, I have a prior arrangement to oversee at the Mostro Lounge during the visiting period. I would otherwise happily accept this honor!"

"Of course you would," Riddle and Vil said at once.

"Hey, hey, guys! It's no problem! I can show them around! I've done it plenty for our guests back home," Kalim chirped, leaping out of his seat.

"Can Jamil-san confirm that your schedule is clear?" Azul inquired, eyebrow quirked. "It would be a stain upon my... excuse me, I mean Night Raven College's reputation if we were unable to safely secure this relationship."

"Huh? Well, sure I can ask him."

Kalim produced a phone dressed up in a gold case studded with gemstones. He typed up a text message, and received a reply just as fast. His face slowly fell. "Uh-oh, uh..."

"Yes?" Azul prompted.

"Jamil says it's a no-go. He has to tutor me for a big midterm exam on Monday..." Kalim quickly perked up again. "But it's okay! We still have Idia, right?"

"L-Leave me out of this!!" came Idia's stuttering voice from a floating tablet. "I-I didn't ask to pick up a side quest that no one else wants to fulfill! I want nothing to do with this, do you hear me?!"

"Hah!" Leona let out a sharp bark of laughter. "You think that wimpy daikon radish sprout can keep himself together long enough to entertain an esteemed guest?"

"I-It's true!" Idia agreed. "I-I spend most of my time trapped inside my room! I've barely stepped outside to see the light of day or the campus for myself! I'm super anti-social and hate irl people!! Th-There's no way I can socialize or give a halfway decent tour!!"

"Willfully talking yourself down to that extent... Have you no dignity left?" Vil groaned. "Safe to say, we cannot rely on a man with no confidence for a matter as important as this."

"Then all that's left is..."

Everyone's eyes collectively drifted to the seventh and unoccupied dorm leader seat at the table.

"Great. It's decided, then. It'll be the lizard's gig," Leona smirked, seemingly satisfied with the outcome.

"Is it really okay to make the decision without Malleus here?" Kalim asked—the only one truly concerned about him.

"No, this is unacceptable," Riddle pointed out. "There tends to be miscommunication when information is relayed to Malleus. We cannot afford such mistakes if we wish to forge a healthy, sustainable relationship with Noble Bell College. We must entrust this task to an individual who is punctual, polite, welcoming, detail-oriented, and an eloquent speaker."

In this pool of candidates? Good luck with that. Raven scrawled down Riddle's last remarks, dotting the period with pessimism.

"Oh dear, oh dear," Crowley fretted to himself. "What to do? We've already run through you boys and no one is quite free or suitable for the role..."

"What if we were to put out a call to action, headmaster?" Raven offered, glancing up from her parchment. "I know that our students aren't the most open to extending their hands, but perhaps someone will volunteer for the task if you offer some kind of compensation."

"Oogh... The compensation would have to be fairly generous to spark interest and enthusiasm this close to the visit..." Crowley lamented. "Woe is me!! Wherever can I find such a magnanimous individual on such short notice?!"

"There, there. It will sort itself out, you'll see." Raven smiled sympathetically and patted her uncle on the back. "If you'd like, I can get started by drafting the document for your approval."

"My, how very kind of you, my dear!! That's what I like to hear!! Where would we be without your astute…”

The headmaster's gushing suddenly quieted, his once-panicked expression settling into thoughtfulness. Crowley's beady, golden gaze bore right into his child.

"... Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I think," Crowley said slowly, "we've found the answer to our prayers. The perfect person for the job, in fact!"

"... You have?"

"Dear, sweet Raven-kun," Crowley drawled in a singsong, "my adorable niece, apple of my eye, sweetest of songbirds—”

A smile grew on the headmaster's lips. Heat from all corners of the meeting room concentrated on her. Collective realization.

Raven puffed with indignation. "You are NOT seriously suggesting what I think you're suggesting, Uncle!! I'm here to keep records, not to fill in for the duties of the dorm leaders!”

"Yet you've been present for all of our meetings, Raven-san," Azul cooed. "You are privy to all the same information that we are, and have already proven yourself to be reliable when it comes to your work. I also understand that you're quite the student among the first years."

"Where did you hear that from?!"

"I have my sources." Azul raised his voice to address the other dorm leaders. "Gentlemen, don't you agree that Raven-san would be a most wonderful choice for the task at hand?"

"Heh, so this is where we're going with this?" A dry chuckle escaped Leona. "Fine by me."

"She would be our best option," Vil added. "Her manners are passable. She presents herself well enough."

"A-As long as it's not me! I'm up for anyone else!!"

"Azul..." Riddle frowned disapprovingly. "While I can't say I condone your methods, it seems we're left with little choice in this matter."

"Gosh, it's so nice of you to step up for us, Raven!" Kalim graciously beamed.

"W-Wait just a second here! I haven't agreed to anything yet!! Don’t I get a say in this?!” Raven protested, abruptly rising. She shuddered upon feeling a clawed hand clap her back.

“Our hopes are riding on you, Raven-kun!!” Crowley cheerily declared. “Go out there and make our Night Raven College look good!!”

"I'm so glad we came to an agreement." Azul's lip curled back into a triumphant smirk. "May I be the first to offer my congratulations? Ah, and I think I speak for all of us when I say... best of luck with handling our special guest."

"Wow, that's amazing, Raven!! Congratulations!!" Kalim squealed, his eyes sparkling with genuine joy.

"Yeah, congrats," Leona yawned. "Knock'm dead, canary."

"Congratulations, potato. Be on your best behavior now."

"Raven, congratulations. I expect you to perform well, or it's off with your head. Is that understood?"

"Congrats, LMAO. Sux 2 b u rn. GL, hf, don't die!!"

It felt as though the room was shrinking in on her, blocking off all exits and routes of escape. A circle of arbiters, already having settled the raven's fate long ago. Her left eye twitched.

"I can see that none of you are willing to let me worm my way out of this," she said warily. "Absolutely awful, all of you..."

"Why, that's exactly what makes you the ideal person for the job, my dear niece!" Crowley aggressively ruffled Raven's hair, making it stick up like feathers plugged into an electrical socket. "It's your kindness and willingness to help those in need. You must have gotten it from me, fufu!"

"Highly doubtful. I almost feel sorry for the poor, unfortunate soul being sent here... He has no idea what's in store for him."

Crowley blinked. "Oh, did I fail to tell you all? The student representative from Noble Bell College is..."

Night had descended upon Night Raven College. Darkness heralded twinkling stars, shadows, and secrets hidden in its depths. This was the height of mystique—and he, mystique manifest, walked along that darkness, finding comfort in it.

"... So this is where you were. I knew I’d find you out and wandering about again.”

Malleus turned.

A short figure had appeared behind him, the jacket hanging off of his shoulders flapping in a steady breeze. In the dark, his eyes were bright rubies—striking against the lucid, opal moonlight. He smiled, displaying fangs.

"Lilia."

He skipped to Malleus’s side. "Didn’t you have a dorm leader meeting to attend?"

The prince’s brow furrowed. "Is that today?"

"It was today," Lilia gently corrected him. “Well, it's long since over.”

A frown formed. “That is... rather unfortunate. I had been looking forward to the discussing how to best demonstrate our hospitality to the student from beyond Sage's Island."

“Chin up, Malleus!" Lilia reached into his back pocket and produced a scroll tied with a midnight blue ribbon. “I have the meeting notes passed along from the headmaster’s child—you remember the little raven, don't you? With this, you’ll be able to get up to speed on the discussion in no time."

“The raven? Yes, that would be the young Crowley you speak of. I shall have to express my gratitude to her at a later time. It is in part through these records that I remain informed in spite of my absences."

Malleus accepted the paper from his vice dorm leader, tugging the ribbon and letting the page unfurl. He immediately began poring over its contents, a finger following each line of text he took in. A review of the quarterly budget, consideration for expanding the cafeteria menu to include more vegetarian options, important upcoming events...

“Shall we make her an honorary knight for all her troubles? Send a thank-you card? Invite her to tea?”

“We are nowhere that friendly. Merely acquaintances.”

“That’s too bad. She seems like an sharp girl. A little high-strung, but nice.” Lilia curiously rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. “You, Sebek, and Silver attended that masquerade in the City of Flowers together, didn’t you? I imagine you’re already thick as thieves. How good for you all! I wish I had been there too.”

Malleus’s lip curled at the mention of the masquerade. “A great many things happened then. I was certainly taken aback by the young Crowey’s conviction when she was faced with grave danger.”

… That danger had been himself.

A memory flashed through his mind—four figures, clustered around a book. The distressed cries of a raven calling out, and the cold, steely roar of the dragon that countered it.

“We must stop him from tainting his own soul. We must!!“

“Rest assured, we will stop him. When the time comes for me to exact my revenge... Pray that you do not stand between myself and Flamme. I cannot guarantee your safety if you were to get caught in the crossfires.”

“But he’s…!!”

“Suffering? He has deceived me and threatened the safety of my people. They will suffer too if he is not stopped. His is a story that will end in fire. There can be no other ending. If it comes down to life or death, I will do what I must to secure Briar Valley’s future.”

“It won’t come to that, it can’t! I…! I won’t let that happen! A-Absolutely not, even if it’s Malleus-senpai…!”

“You would grant your enemies clemency? Then you are a fool.”

“I-I believe… everyone deserves a second shot at their happily ever after!! S-So even if I’m scared and want to run away… e-even though I know I can’t beat you in a fight… I’m a fool who wants to defend that belief until the bitter end!!”

"My, so she’s fiery one! I’ve yet to see many defiant enough to stand against you. It’s a good thing you didn’t flambé her.”

“She looked as though she was going to pass out from fright.”

“Even better!!” Lilia clapped his hands in delight. "Ooh, I’d love for you to have such an amusing friend.”

Malleus was nearly done with the notes now. As he neared the end of the paper, the subject shifted to that of a special guest. The odd raven, that guest’s guide and attendant.

He stopped, his finger hovering over the final bullet point on the page.

"What's this? The visiting student will be from Noble Bell College... and his identity…” The prince fell silent. Seriousness had seized control of his features.

“Malleus…? What’s wrong?”

Lilia looked over in concern. What he found was a dark, mischievous smile slowly spreading across Malleus’s face. For a brief moment, he felt as though he had just stared into an abyss—and the abyss had stared back in all of its wickedness.

“Fufufu… Now this will certainly be fun."

[j0kers-light]

Hi Chaos! I've seen your headcanons of J with a cat and I loved it 😊

It was great to see that Joker loves cats because I love them too! And I thought, what if Twilight had baby kittys and Reader was with the kittens all day, leaving aside the Joker?

Hey hi anon!!! 🖤✨

Ooooh!!! I remember the cat hc! Let’s expand on this because we all love a jealous Joker 🤭I hope you enjoy anon!

Only Joker would become jealous over a cat that HE bought for you 🥴

What started out as a companion gift for the long nights when J was away turned into a rivalry unlike no other. Again. You can’t believe he was jealous over a cat.

Twilight is a smart girl. Her green eyes watch your every move, she voices her disapproval if you feel down, and she’s super clingy just like her co-owner. What’s not to love?

Joker could tolerate Twilight, she’s just one cat to contend with for your attention. That doesn’t stop him from locking her out of rooms so he can cuddle with you instead.

She refuses to lose so easily and scratches at the door to earn your sympathy vote. And those sad wittle mewls!!!! How can you say no to her?!? 😭

Her knowing eyes mock Joker whenever you give her more attention. This rivalry goes on for several weeks until it stops abruptly.

Joker was not concerned when Twilight disappeared but you were devastated! She was a wonderful companion and wiser than an human being. You cried your heart out on J’s shoulder.

He thought he won the war. He refuses to share you with anyone or any being. Imagine his surprise when Twilight returned. With a litter of kittens.

Joker didn’t stand a chance.

Now Twilight and her four kittens steal all of your time leaving him stewing in jealousy.

You doted on them as if they were your actual children and Joker (your big baby) was nearing his limit.

He wanted your attention too! Did he not deserve your affection? He got to thinking and the cats had to go.

They were in the way.

It wouldn’t be the first time he delivered a sack of dead kittens to the GCPD, it was in his nature. But right as he was hovering over the cute little nest you made for them out of blankets and such, you appeared behind him.

“Whatcha doing Joker?”

He jumped and turned around with a nervous grin plastered on his face, “Bunny!! What a uh.. pleasant surprise!”

You weren’t buying his sweet talk. Did he think you were stupid? He mumbles in his sleep and you were hip to his nefarious thoughts.

“I would really hate if you were thinking about hurting my babies. You wouldn’t harm them would you, J?” You arched an eyebrow at his fidgety demeanor.

He was so busted.

You looked like a protective mama ready to defend your young. It was hot, although he knew you wouldn’t be in the mood if he commented on it. Soooo he applied some heavy damage control.

“I ahh.. n-no Bun I would neve~errrrrr. I was just um checkin’ in on em!” Joker said.

You crossed your arms. “They have names you know.”

Joker was at a loss so you sighed and helped him out. Of course he didn’t care to remember their names.

“That one is called Dawn because of its lighter coat and that’s Midnight for obvious reasons. Oh and I can’t forget Dusk and Eve.” you said as you pointed out each kitten.

Joker gave you a side eye for the original names. “You really thought this out huh.” He said dryly.

“Of course! I already put them up for adoption on my blog. Everyone but Dusk has a forever home. I can’t possibly take care of four kittens! Twilight and you are more than enough for me.”

You raked your fingers through Joker’s hair and he immediately hummed out his gratitude.

Finally he was getting some attention even if you implied he was a feline. He could ignore that for now.

[littlelewdmable]

If you don't mind, could you show us some top-tier Nora's Arc smut? Or lemon, if you feel like.

Top Tier? You overestimate my abilities.

Nora's New Workout Routine

Weiss: Nora seems-

Nora: *Sleeping a the breakfast table*

Weiss: -less energetic than usual today.

Jaune: We started a new workout routine a few days ago. I guess it took more out of her than I thought. *Pets Nora's hair*

Nora: Hmmmm.

Yang: So your new workout knocked out Nora and you're doing fine? How did that happen?

Jaune: Well...

------

Nora opened the door to JNPR's dorm, with Jaune following close behind her.

Nora: Man, that was a good workout. Right, J-!!!

Nora gasped as Jaune turned her around and picker her up. Kissing her deeply as he shoved her again a wall. After a moment of hesitation she wrapped her legs around him and began to return the kiss.

Finally they pulled away from each other.

Nora: What's *pant* gotten into you?

Jaune: You've been teasing me nonstop for the last two hours.

Nora: I have~?

Jaune: You're wearing your "fuck me Jaune" shorts.

Nora: It sounds like I won't be for much longer~.

And indeed she would be, as Jaune made quick work of pulling down Nora's shorts. Which he was surprised she was ever allowed to wear with how much of Nora's ass they showed off. But what was not surprise was Nora's lack of panties and how wet she already was.

She ground herself against Jaune's shorts, feeling his stiffening cock, as he grabbed her fat ass with one hand and began to snake a hand up her shirt with the other. Nora moaned as Jaune started pinching her nipples. Nora couldn't take the teasing for much longer, she wanted her prize for a hard workout right now. So, she pulled down roughly on Jaune's shorts, revealing his hard cock.

Jaune: Someone's impatient.

Nora: You're the one who shoved me against a WALL~!!!

Nora moaned with pleasure as she took every last inch of Jaune's cock into her.

Nora: Sneak a-Ahhh~- attack! No F-f-fairrrrrrrr~.

Jaune: You're the one who asked for it.

Nora: Ooooh~!

Jaune: Now let's get started with the real workout.

------

Jaune: I guess all the extra training with Pyrrha is finally paying off.

Yang: I might have to join you and P-Money next time.

Weiss: Do you think you can add Ruby too?

Jaune: Why?

Weiss: Having her knocked out in the morning would be wonderful.

Jaune: What do you think, Nora?

Nora: *Thumbs up*

[snakxreader]

How about Floofty enduring shenanigans of the journalist whose oddly open to dangerous experiments?

A/N: First request, and ofc it’s a Floofty one/j

Honestly, OP? I don’t think I wrote Floofty well here at all, but I tried. This was a really interesting ting prompt!

Floofty and Journalist (Platonic)

There were limits to everything, as frustrating as it was.

It was one of the unfortunate realities of the world, and one Floofty had grown entirely used to. Limits in their field. Limits in familial love, despite how close you used to be, and of course ethical limits. The media was honestly overrreacting, they had given multiple consent forms, had debriefed the entire thing before and after, yet they still got treated like a monster by people who thought with their hearts rather than their huts. Media sways opinions and as such, swayed the public into not trusting them. This reputation even followed them to Snaktooth. The horrific Floofty Fizzlebean. They’d find the fear almost funny if it wasn't so humiliating.

So they started to experiment on themselves. Empiricism was the only way they saw fit and it worked them well, no matter the pain. They were their own best test subject, and that was almost to be proud of.

Key word being were.

And then that moronic journalist arrived and somehow they were met with someone more headstrong than them.

No, headstrong was not the word here. This had to be some sort of suicidal ideation because nobody in their right mind would do some of the things Floofty attempted.

Exhibit A; offhandedly mentioning one of their old experiences and then asking if it could be replicated.

Floofty blinked. “Why would you possibly want to know that.”

They shrugged. “Oh, I dunno…sounds fun!” The reporter laughed a little while responding.

“…..You cannot be serious.”

“I dunno, if you need a test subject, I’m willing.” The journalist replied, grinning like a maniac. Floofty’s eye twitched at their apparent humor at the situation.

“This is not a joke. My experiments are incredibly dangerous, and as such, I do them only to myself.”

“Can’t be that bad.”

“Throwing yourself against Bungers to see how far they can throw you?”

“Oh a few feet.” The journalist calmly replied. “They can do some serious damage.”

Floofty sputtered. “A-alright, fine! Remove Bugsnax from the equation. If you were my test subject, I’d have you…stay in exposed contact with lava to detail the Bugsnax near the volcano.”

“Fun! I’m always a bit cold most places I go.”

“Th-Then I’ll do the same thing with the mountain!”

“Always wanted to go camping in the winter!”

“I’ll-I’ll force you to eat Bugsnax and watch how your allergy affects you!”

“Ooooh, so a crytpid?” Their eyes gleamed as excitement laced their voice. “Do you think I’d, like, turn into a creature of unimaginable horrors?”

For a faint minute, they wondered if this was what Snorpington had dealt with, having to convince them not to do the things they did on a daily basis, which they always took in a stride of dark humor.

“Are you afraid of anything…?” They asked feebly.

The journalist winked, finger gun pointed at Floofty. “Paying taxes.”

“W-wha….?”

“But seriously though, those do sound really fun!” They contained, mindlessly rolling their hand about. “Even with the whole ‘danger’ thing, have you considered-hey!”

The journalist tilted their head, eyebrows burrowed. “Floofty, come back!”

Floofty paid the protesting journalist no mind as they walked towards Cromdo’s stand. Even if they’d get most likely scammed, that entire exchange counted for an extreme need of alcoholic beverages.

[fluffy-ami]

“The best gifts of life” (Jing Yuan & Reader)

A/N: LMAOOO pls I'm so sorry again, this is so self-indulgent I'm crying, bear with me don't look at me and don't read this, I am having my rare lee moment before I either stop posting stuff for another year or finally get to work-

“J-Jing Yuan, I'm dyihihing!”

“Sure you are, my friend~”

You were alone in the garden with the general, your high-pitched giggles filling the air around the two of you, as you tried to escape his playful grasp. His free hand was softly squeezing your right hip and side, his wiggling fingers occasionally teasing your bottom ribs while he wrapped his other arm around your waist, holding you in place with ease.

“I'm sohohorry for tickling y-you! It wohon't happen again!~”

But you both knew it definitely would happen again.

“I bet you'd try again if I let you go,” the general chuckled. “You can't help yourself when it comes to making me laugh, can you?~”

His fingers danced all over the side of your ribcage, getting dangerously close to your underarm...

“Nohohot there!~” you squealed, immediately pressing your elbow to your side, trying to hide your ticklish spots from him. Jing Yuan laughed softly, a playful gleam in his eyes.

“Not the ribs, not the belly, not the armpits. What's next? Are we gonna have to check every inch of your body just to see where else you are ticklish? Maybe you'll like some other spots more~”

You could only giggle and squeak in response, wiggling around in his hold as his fingers brushed over the sides of your tummy.

“P-plehehease!~”

“Your weak spot really is everywhere, isn't it?” he teased. “Nowhere is safe!”

A few more giggles escaped you, making Jing Yuan smile, before he decided to let you go.

“Alright, alright. Sorry, I got a little carried away, my friend. Are you feeling okay?” the white haired man asked, a hint of apology and care in his gaze.

“H-huh?.. Oh,” you immediately stopped giggling as soon as Jing Yuan let you go. Well, that was a little bit... disappointing? “Y-yeah, I'm good. Don't worry about it.”

“...Do you not want to get up?” the general asked, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head to the side out of concern. He was surprised to see you in such a still position, wondering about the sudden silence. “Is something the matter?”

“Oh, no, Jing, please don't worry! I just...” you blushed slightly, looking away, your voice quiet as you mumbled, “...I didn't want- I-I mean-! I mean you didn't have to stop...”

“I didn't have to stop?” Jing Yuan repeated your words in a soft and quiet voice, staring at your back for a few more moments. Ooooh...

“You enjoyed it,” he said with a grin, “You enjoyed being tickled, did you?”

“H-hey now, I didn't say that!” your cheeks became even more red in a second, and you frowned at the general in embarrassment.

“Oh? But do you deny it?~” Jing Yuan chuckled at your quick response. “Okay, so you didn't enjoy being tickled, then?” he teased. The white haired man looked right at you, an endearing smile on his face as he waited for an honest answer.

“Y-you're so meannn...” you practically whined, this time not daring to turn around to look at him, your face felt like it was on fire.

“That's not quite of an answer,” the general teased, amused. “Is that a 'yes' or a 'no', my friend?”

“...That's just not fair.”

“Is it really that embarrassing to say that you like the tickles?” he grinned as you kept trying to dodge his questions, “How about I make you a deal? If you admit to liking being tickled, I promise to do it often”.

You could've sworn that Jing Yuan had a hard time holding back his amused laughter when he saw how quickly you turned around to look at him, your eyes wide and face flushed. You stared at each other silently for a few seconds.

“Sooo..?” the general smiled, raising his eyebrows expectantly and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“...I... don't mind it, I guess,” you huffed, looking away.

Another short pause.

“I had fun too, my friend,” the white haired man confessed to you in a gentle voice, letting you know there was no need to be embarrassed, “I enjoyed playing with you like that”.

“Stoooop, you're not m-making all of this easier-”

“And I'm glad to hear that you ‘don't mind’ it, because that means I can do this!~” the general suddenly made a move towards you, wrapping his strong arms around you with a playful grin and tackling you to the grass, as his wiggling fingers found your ribs again, making you burst out into another giggle fit.

As the saying went, the best gifts of life were the little things...

A/N: bro I would let him tease me until I fricking scream and sob and lying on the floor and I would still thank him ...wait nononono listen, listen- nononono listen, listen-

[z-h-i-e]

Could you write a Galadriel/Celeborn piece about them in Doriath with supportive Lúthien and Melian? (Also I really liked your sympathetic Thingol piece!)

Sure I can! (I can write anything! Proven with that Glorfindel/Balrog piece I can never unsee.)

I have a soft spot for Celeborn–you know it, I know it, his wife knows it (gave me the title of Homewrecker of Lorien, you know). But, because I love Elrond/Celebrian so much, and I know there’s no Celebrian without Celeborn/Galadriel, I guess I’ll go with a schmoopy romancey story for them. Anyhow, I tend to go with a timid Doriath Celeborn with a stutter when he’s nervous, and that is who showed up for the muse casting call today. Enjoy! (Also, no wonder we don’t get Sindarin version of Nerwen from Tolkien – Nerwen was bad enough. Read on…)

---

“Good afternoon, Celeborn.”

“Good afternoon, Princess Luthien.” 

The two happened to come around the same corner of one of the florist stalls set up in the courtyard market.  Walking in opposite directions, Celeborn was intently inspecting the blooms in the baskets that lined the stall; he would have walked right into Luthien, had she not been the more attentive of the two and stepped safely aside. 

“I see you have selected some of the more vibrant flowers they have here today.  What is the occasion?” asked Luthien. 

Celeborn tried not to blush, and failed miserably.  “I happen...to have...a meeting tonight...with a friend...for dinner.”  The words stuttered out, each phrase from the young scribe a little softer than the former. 

Luthien smiled.  “It must be a special dinner if you are bringing flowers.  Or are you hosting a party?”

Celeborn shook his head.  “N-no.  No party.  Just myself...and a...friend.”

Luthien leaned down to sniff one of the orchids Celeborn was clutching.  He had also selected lilies and hydrangeas.  “Your friend must like large flowers.”

“I...do not...know?”  He bit his lip and looked down shyly.  “Truth told,” he whispered, “this is more of a…social engagement…of a…romantic nature.”

“And you have chosen orchids?” wondered Luthien.  “She must like the bright and the bold.”

Again, Celeborn chewed at his lip.  “I am not...not sure?”  His shoulders slumped and he whispered, “I am doing my best.  I d-do not have a sister, and m-my brother said I am...reaching...too high.”

Luthien stepped beside Celeborn and placed her hands on his shoulders.  “I have an idea!  I can help you shop!  I have no brother, so this will be fun–for both of us!  Of course, you will have to tell me who she is, so I can help.”

Red flushed Celeborn’s cheeks again.  “She is j-just about the prettiest g-girl I have ever seen.”  He swallowed audibly.  “D-do you know Princess Dirgwend of N-nargothrond?” 

“Oh, yes!”  Immediately Luthien cringed and looked over the flowers Celeborn was clutching.  “Oh, no.”

“N-n-n-n-no?”  Celeborn frowned.  “You think I am t-t-too far b-beneath her, too?”

“No!  I think, honestly, you are such a gentle person, and thoughtful, and kind, and brilliant–because she is as sharp as a hound’s tooth–I think she is lovely and you would be a lovely match!”  Luthien grimaced and slowly extracted a hydrangea from Celeborn.  “Ah, this, though…”  She caught sight of someone in the crowd and lifted the hydrangea above her head.  “Ulli!”

Melian was only five or six meters away, and smiled at her daughter, standing beside the youngest of the library scribes.  

“Ulli, akaeί akablanditiae tαdιχαόου mūαtheteυόmūeνος” called out Luthien.

“Oh!” Melian approached with a approving look on her face.

Luthien held up one of the flowers.  “akaόχοtte akadίν aū iniðel”

“Ooooh.” Melian clasped her hands together and slowed her steps as she approached.  “I seeeeee.”  She stopped in front of them and appeared to analyze each flower separately.  “May I safely assume this is your first time arranging flowers?”

“Y-yes, your majesty.”

“And may I safely assume you wish to make a positive impression on our visiting diplomat?” 

Celeborn nodded. “I need help,” he said sadly. 

Luthien was already pulling the bountiful bouquet from his hands.  “Are you familiar with roses, Celeborn?  I believe I saw some lovely peach and pale pink varieties around the corner.”

Artanis calmly picked up her gloves from the desk as she heard the knock upon her door.  She made sure to have them on and took one more look at her hair in the mirror and waited a moment more until there was a second knock before she opened the door. 

Before her stood Celeborn, holding an exquisite collection of roses, carnations, and delicate buds, a swirl of white and pastels.  He held them out to her.  “Good evening.  May I...present you with this...small token of affection?”

With lips pressed together to mute her grin, Artanis took the flowers and sniffed them experimentally.  “These are lovely.”

“I picked them out m-myself,” he said, and then added, “With help...f-from some…f-friends.”

Artanis sniffed them again to hide her next smile.  “My brother always says it is a wise man who knows when to ask for aid.”  She peered over the flowers at the tall, lanky scholar who was trying not to appear nervous, but the fidgeting of his hands while they were hidden in his sleeves gave him away.  

Yes, he was as sweet as Luthien had said, and as kind as Melian told her.  Her brother had hinted to her that while his time in Middle-earth would be one of solitude, that he did not see that for her, but no suitor would she find in Nargothrond.  It was part of why Artanis chose to spend so much time in Doriath (though her studies more than filled most of the time).  

There were many occasions when Artanis had asked for assistance from Celeborn when she visited the library.  There were many scribes there, all willing to help, but something seemed to draw her instead to the shy one who insisted on carrying books for her, holding the door, or retrieving more ink for her any time the well ran dry.

She still played coy when he finally gathered the courage to ask her to dine with him.  He nearly took it as a rejection, the poor dear.  She decided he deserved a token himself, for his good behavior.  “Would you like to come in while I put these in a vase?”

“Yes, I would.  Th-that would be very kind of you,” said Celeborn. 

Yet he remained standing on the doormat while Artanis walked to a cabinet. “Are you going to come in, then?” she asked. 

“Y-you only asked if I should like to.  I did not...wish to...assume.”

Artanis smiled with her back turned.  “You may come in, if you like.”

Celeborn took a deep breath and stepped just inside of the suite. 

Artanis turned, and studied him with amusement as she carried the vase with the flowers to a table.  “You have chosen to leave the door open,” she observed. 

Celeborn gave a quick nod, and said, “I shall not have anyone question your honor, and so, in-in lieu of a chaperone, I f-feel it appropriate.”

The vase was placed on the table. While Finrod had encouraged her to seek out true love, her other brothers seemed wary that she might become entangled with a less than savory courier in the kingdom.  Celeborn was clearly anything but. He would more than do. 

“Shall we dine?” asked Artanis as she came to stand beside Celeborn. 

He offered her his arm, which she took, and after the door was closed, the two walked down the hallway together, both a little nervous, both a little excited, neither noticing Luthien spying from around the corner. 

--

Notes:

I had to fuss around with Valarin, mainly ‘making shit up’, because if you think that Khuzdul and the Black Speech are limited, you haven’t met fucking Valarin yet. 

I put my research goggles on, found references about Valarin being a sexy mix of Latin and Greek, so I came up with some words for Luthien and Luthien’s mom. 

Ulluiός : Water Parent (I didn’t think Luthie would be using ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. I also thought about it, and with how the Ainur are, even the mom and dad thing seems not quite right. So I came up with this concept of, there’s a water parent, and a fire parent. In this case, Melian was the water parent.)

Of course we can’t have Luthien using the full ass version, so ‘Ulli!’ sounds way more like a title an Ainu kid would call their parent. 

There are two sentences, and before we get to the ‘what is it supposed to mean’, I have a lot of thoughts about Valarin, and how the sentences are open ended at the start and end, that the Song of Creation at the beginning of the legendarium is a loop, and that language for the Ainur is woven in and out of the song, and there’s no capitalization unless the first word is a proper noun and there’s no punctuation unless there is a question but that does not mean the question mark has to go at the end. A little language chaos. So! Now that you know that, here’s those two sentences, keeping in mind, I spent more time figuring out these two sentences than I did the rest of the story, and yes, it’s shit I made up because Tolkien didn’t leave us a lot of Valarin words, and what he did leave is shit he made up. So let’s all go make up some Valarin words mashing Greek and Latin together until it sounds good or at least looks impressive enough to be spoken by the Valar. 

akaeί akablanditiae tαdιχαόου mūαtheteυόmūeνος - Celeborn is courting your apprentice 

akaόχοtte akadίν aū iniðel - He intends to give her lilies

And I find it perfectly reasonable that Luthien shouts this across a market to her mom because the two of them are the only two people who can speak the language who are in that vicinity. 

[noodyl-blasstal]

please... b f h u ? thank you 💕

Ooooh, thank you so much for these!

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience? In a shocking turn of events... yes! Generally, a lot of my fics have themes of misunderstandings around dating (e.g. Scamming Me; Scamming you; Moonlight to Sunrise; I PHDo). I have been on so many accidental dates because people just aren't explicitly clear about what they mean when they say stuff like "let's go for a drink" because how on earth is anyone supposed to actually know that's somehow "let's go and get a drink and talk about whether we should get married."

Conference Buddies bears a homage to some of the terrible packed lunches I've had (shout out to the place that decided to combine every single dietary requirement into one horrifying lunch.)

Astrology for Horse Jugglers was a mix of silly ideas and some of the times I've met people who yes anded their way into my heart. Once I was with someone who met an old friend of theirs who was also with someone else. During their conversation we constructed a story so beautiful, so elaborate, that my friend was convinced we also knew each other.

Ten Years Ago Today is about long-term grief and the way it can hit you. Old wounds can feel pretty fresh, even when you think they're healed over.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

So this is something I'm currently working on. I enjoy this so much because I think it sets up a lot of dynamic and it's fun to play with a one sided conversation like this.

“Mags! Hey! Quick question… cool, oh, yeah, another new puppy? That’s great, when do we get to meet th…” Taako’s going to kill her, he’s going to kill her dead and no jury could convict. He settles for nudging her gently with his elbow instead because he’d miss her eventually. “... sorry Mags, actually, I have to be quick, you know how <i>some people</i> can be… Yes, I will, Magnus says hi.” Taako’s going to eat them both. “Uh huh, look, it’s about the library books, was there one which they didn’t take? … Oh, uh huh, you, you told him he must have made a mistake and that he needed to take it? … and… uh huh… uh huh…  then refused to take it back… uh huh… and after that you just left… even when he shouted at you to come back? … uh huh… Magnus! ….uh huh, yeah, gods… fine. Gotta go, love you bye.” Lup hangs up the phone and looks solemnly at Taako. “So, I have some news.”

H: How would you describe your style? I'm not sure I have a good answer for this. "Silly" is probably my overwhelming descriptor. The stories are usually daft and I usually pour a little bit too much of my heart into them.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. Ooooh, okay. So. This is tricky because there's so many great people!

@ceilingfan5 of course, I ploughed through your Ao3 back cataogue when I started reading TAZ and it was banger after banger. I love your brain noodles, love the way you embody the characters, and the way your wording is so creative and fun. Your style's just super engaging and lovely and your stories are delightful.

@holdmecloser-gandydancer also has so many great fics. I think about Say it with Flours, The Only One On Your A.M. Radio, A Baggage Claim Candlenights, Rode Hard And Put Away Wet, and some of the works in progress so often.

@mmmarty (spot the theme here) also has so many wonderful fics. Have I seen pacific rim? No. Did I love No Such Thing As Cold (Only The Absence of Heat)? Absolutely. I also think of Magic Club and By The Book often.

But that's not counting @barry-j-blupjeans (endless amazing one shots), @liltaz-asatreat (so many thoughtful, emotionally impactful fics), @taakosleftshoe (aquarium AU!), @jerreeeeeee (incredible world building), Tanacetum (my phone broke mid of faeries and fungus and I was so upset and tracked it down so fast to zoom through the rest), and of course Weevilo707 (also endless great fics).

There's definitely lots of other people I've forgotten too, but I've got a brain like a sieve.

[navxry]

Rate your friends

.

well damn alright fine LMAO

My mutuals from discord and/or Tumblr (utc cause the post is LONG)

Carmine: def a 100/10 if I have to be honest. They dealt with me SO much and my absolute nonsense as well since 2020, no words can describe how much I appreciate them for being there with me in my highest and lowest of my era. I also love terrorizing them with my muses (Lyney simp in denial), and I dont regret at all meeting and befriending them. Love you bestie <3 /p

Ryan: also a 100/10, I genuinely owe him a lot for helping me realize just. how certain things in life isn't 'normal' and fueling my brainrot/s so much. We both had so much to talk abt during the 3 years I've known him (and we're still friends to this day!), and Goddamn do I enjoy playing games w/ him and esp abt our current hyperfixations (Persona and Raincode. I still want to rattle your Yuma bot you little shit /t)

Esther (@mixed-kester) : I just met you like months ago when I first joined astronetwrk, and tbh I genuinely am v happy to have met you and enabled you BAHAHAHAHA I've been friends with her for a while but its so fun just going through the plot + AUs, and also going through pain (and making me go through a crisis with enabling and "NO YOU DID SO MUCH FOR ME" "NO, I DIDNT" LMAOOOO). Yeah, there were times when we both have our disagreements, but I genuinely could never ask for a better friend to yell at Tinuvion/Kunimitsu and the rarepare between Wanderer and Kaeya than her.

Meirin (@meimeimeirin) : I'LL SAY THIS ONCE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: You are so cool and amazing and I'm so amazed with how you deal with my nonsense. I never saw an opportunity to talk to you outside of being on anon back then, and I genuinely thought that it won't be possible, but when EBG happened? I saw it and took it. You were so so so enjoyable to talk to, to rant about the entire event, and even after that, I enjoyed talking to you about even your simping with Zhongli and Alhaitham! I also enjoy bouncing off ideas with our threads (even if I have them on hold, I swear I'll reply to them orz). You're the sweetest person I've known and I am so, so glad to have met you and got to know you as a friend ;v; you also inspired me in writing for Genshin and for my faves, and for also sharing my thoughts on my sona and my selfships. I know you're busy but I hope you can see this because I genuinely appreciate you /pos

Yami (@pastel-rights) : YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD ARTIST WHAT THE HELL— honestly, how the fuck do you deal with me, Sam and Tae? (/lh) like I genuinely am so surprised I'm actually friends w/ you, but in a good way because you are?? So cool?? I swear I sometimes admire your art and when I say I wanna eat it, I would. You're such a good friend and I wish we can talk more fr

Tae (@nice-chiaki) : My first victim (/j), but really, I am in awe that I've met you in the mun's corner. I saw your blog with Itha and I genuinely loved interacting with him— your muse of him helped a lot in bringing me out of my idv writer's block slump because I had no ideas and ooooh, genuinely having you on vc and hearing/seeing you go through your cycles and bs with Sam and Yami (and Fifi as well) is the funniest thing. I also hate you (/exag) for the fandubs, and you making me go through a huge moment with Andrew and Cro. 0/10 wont recommend voicing villains (/j /j)

Sam (@paperbcy) : You are the biggest menace I know, and tbh I wonder if you're like a mirror to my menace self /j, but I'm kidding BAHAHAHAHA. I dont regret enabling you so much for your immorphy AU and our own shared AUs, and I sometimes wonder what would happen if I hadn't met you, Tae and Yami. Also, do not pull Father on my inbox ty

Fifi (@fffiii) : You dealt with my ass for years and I honestly question how you're still sane BAHAHAHAHA, but fr, even till now we're still together from 2016 - 2017(?) and I cannot stop but wonder how long it's been. It was v fun just looking back on our days at Q and even now, and I still appreciate you for everything even if you're a bigger menace than me.

Shiro (@leftdestiny-posts) : We may not talk as much or as often, but you are so kind and ouuuu you make me ;-; honestly. I am v thankful for you in dealing with my brainrot over TCO (which! I plan on revisiting and reviving as a long drawn series haha), and I hope that we talk more often when you have the time (ofc, no pressure!)

Ying (@yinyinggie) : OOOOH YOU'RE SO SWEET AND LUCIEN/YUZU TOO LIKE AUGHHH, I genuinely love you both as mods in astronetwrk AND outside of it. I genuinely appreciate you as a mod and a friend in keeping the server together and hosting games for us, and even when those went awry (read: the mafia game), you and the others made sure we had fun anyway and prioritized our comfort, which is so?? sweet??? I genuinely wish I can hug you and I wish we can speak more orz ily /p

There are more but I can't remember them all so o7 o/ hope this is enough anon

[dragonmuse]

Could we get Izzy’s perspective at the passport office when he ran into Pru? I also wonder if he would bring Lucius’ drawing to their coffee meeting? I’m loving the “and be prudent” tag!!

(@objective-j also requested more of Pru and Izzy meeting, so here is more of that from Izzy's POV. and lol I don't usually give the more minor OCs tags, but that one felt right! Also Pru seems well liked so she may crop up from time to time.)

“No fucking way,” Lucius voice echoed around the car. “For a big city, this place can be small as hell. Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know,” Izzy admitted. He hadn’t actually pulled out of his parking space. He didn’t actually have anywhere to go, a lie told to let him escape. “Sort of. I mean I barely knew her. She was a kid.” 

“Why don’t you come over, huh? I’ll make you a drink while I do prep.” 

“Yeah, yeah all right.”  

The back door was closed, but unlocked when he arrived and slipped inside. The Swede was sweeping and singing along to ‘Dancing Queen’, occasionally swirling the broom around. Eddy was laying down on the stage pointing up at some of the lighting while Jim stood over them. When Izzy entered, they gave him a lazy finger wave. 

“Hey, boss.” 

“Iz!” Eddy cried out from the floor. “What are you doing here?” 

“Stealing your liquor.” 

“Don’t tell Stede, he gets prickly about that.” 

“Why the fuck would I tell him?” Izzy rolled his eyes. “Are you stuck down there?” 

“Nope, trying to figure out which bulb is flickering. It’s not doing it regularly, so if I stay down here I might catch it and we can replace it before show time.” 

“You’ll get spots in your vision.” 

“Probably!” 

Izzy decided against continued argument. Jim could handle it. Or just sit there and wait for their ‘I told you so moment’. Both seemed equally satisfying. He took his usual seat at the bar and didn’t have to wait long for Lucius to emerge from storage brandishing vodka bottles in both hands. 

“Goblin!” he set the bottles down on the bar and came over to give him an acessing look. “Figured out how you’re feeling yet?” 

“Working on it.” 

“Pink or yellow?” 

Izzy didn’t bother asking for what. “Yellow.” 

“Cool, try this,” Lucius set a martini glass in front of him. It had about an inch of very yellow liquid in it. 

Izzy took a sip and did his best to keep his face neutral. “Little sour.” 

“Damnit,” Lucius sighed, picking it up and taking a sip himself. “Ooooh shit. Yeah. Okay. Went too hard on the pucker.” 

“What’s the pink?” 

“Same idea, less sour, more strawberry. I want to put a few fun drinks on the menu for February. You know the month of loooove.” 

“Cute,” Izzy shook his head. “Yellow one doesn’t really seem in line.” 

“Excuse you, but I’m in love with a sourpuss myself,” Lucius grinned. 

Izzy huffed out a pleased laugh. “Is that what you’re going to call it?” 

“Maaaybe. We’ll see. Got to make it drinkable first. For now,” Lucius poured him a straight up shot of vodka and set in front of him. “Down that than talk to me.” 

“Thanks.” He threw it back and then set the glass aside. “I don’t know. It was sudden. Barely recognized her.” 

“How old was she the last time you saw her?” 

“Fourteen, maybe fifteen. And yeah, decades ago.” 

“Does...I don’t know. Did she look like Faith?” Lucius talked about her now like he had known her too and Izzy hadn’t known how much he’d needed that. 

“She didn’t back then. I mean yeah, you could tell they were sisters, but Pru was taller already by the time I met Faith. I mostly recognized her from her nose. Pru had a very up-turned nose as a kid. Between that and the accent, I got there.” 

“What was she like?” 

“Only talked to for a minute. Mad, mostly.” 

“Why?” 

“The ring.” 

“Shit. Really?” 

“I showed it to her. She didn’t know it was from me, apparently. They threw out all of....” he couldn’t really think about that. Couldn’t say it. “Gave her my card, then go the fuck out of there.” 

“Uh, Iz. You gave her your business card?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to go through the whole dance of trying to give her my number.” 

Lucius lifted his brows, “So, you know that I think it’s incredibly sweet and all, but uh, did you tell her what you named the business?” 

Izzy stared at him for a long second, then groaned and dropped his face into his hands. “Shit.” 

“I think it’s fine. I’m sure she’ll draw the right conclusion from it.” 

“What conclusion?” He asked into his palms. “Is there one that doesn’t make me seem kind of pathetic?” 

“There is nothing pathetic about how you love people,” Lucius chided. “It’s enduring. It’s beautiful. And kind of obsessive, but lucky for you I’m into that.” 

“Thanks,” he sighed. “Well. It’s done anyway. Doubt she’ll call.” 

“Bet she will,” Lucius countered. “Hey, you think she’s got a photo of her?” 

“No idea. Possible.” 

“HA! FOUND IT! FUCK YOU LIGHTING FIXTURE!” 

“I think I’m going to be asked to get the stepladder,” Lucius determined. He dropped a kiss in Izzy’s hair. 

Izzy stuck around, watching the entire inefficient show that was the Revenge staff trying to change a lightbulb. If it had been happening in his home base, he would’ve killed all of them, but here it was mostly amusing. Distracting. 

He stayed for the show too, then gathered a goodbye kiss from Lucius before heading back home.  It wasn’t until he had eaten a late dinner, finished the book he was reading, showered and gotten into bed that his feelings caught up with him. He lay in the dark and let the grief wash over him. It had been a long time since he’f felt it so hard. 

Izzy: figured it out. Sad.  

Lucius:  That tracks. Sucks though. 

It did suck. Izzy fell asleep about it and felt mostly all right in the morning. The tingle of potential incoming complication didn’t leave right away, but he still had to move through his day. She wasn’t going to call, he reminded himself. No use in getting worked up over a chance meeting. 

He only dimly remembered Pru as part of the amalgam that had been Faith’s terrible family. He pictured her yelling down the stairs as Faith went out the door or tucked in behind her mother like a miniature version of her. Faith would complain about her, the way she stole, rifled through her things, talked incessantly and complained endlessly. 

Izzy had hated Delly like that once. 

Mid-day, he picked up his phone and texted. 

Izzy: If you don’t have plans, I can get the kid tonight for a few hours. Had a change in plans. 

Delly: Really? Yes! That’d be great.  

Izzy hadn’t had any plans at all. But he couldn’t really do much for Delly at fifteen, abandoned to handle their parents alone. This he could do. 

When he picked Pickle up, he asked casually, 

“I can’t remember, were you in the same grade as Prudence Callahan?” 

“Hm?” Delly was moping off Pickle’s face after a close encounter with a very ketchup intensive hamburger.  “Uh...no? I think she was in the grade or two above me. I remember the name. Wait. Wasn’t that your girlfriend’s sister?” 

“Yeah. Ran into her the other day.” 

“That must’ve been fun. Ok, take her purple backpack by the door and you two are good to go. Bye, sweetheart. Don’t wear your uncle out.” 

“Kay!” Pickle wrapped herself around Izzy’s arm. “Bye, Mommy!” 

It was easy to forget his own shit when he had Pickle. She needed his full attention. He dropped her back off, both of them tired, sticky and with far more knowledge of Barbie’s fairy kingdom than they had been at the beginning of the night. 

“Thanks, asshole,” Delly grimaced as Pickle explained exactly how much ice cream she’d eaten. 

“You’re fucking welcome,” he said pleased. Despite herself, Delly looked far more relaxed and in another room, Izzy could hear Thomas whistling. Disgusting. He hid a smile. 

The days passed and each one that ticked by without a call, Izzy let go a little more. What did it matter? They had nothing to say to each other. Lucius did hand him something mid-week. 

“Just in case.”  He’d offered and Izzy had taken it. Couldn’t hurt to have on hand.  

Nearly a full month passed and he’d practically forgotten about the encounter at all, especially when he had to take Read to the E.R. in the middle when she’d stepped in to prevent a beating of the guy they were following. Man just had a stupid mouth, he probably didn’t deserve to get the shit kicked out of him, but Read had gotten a rib busted for her trouble. Izzy lectured her all through the long sit in the waiting room and she’d taken it with an annoying fond smile. 

Asshole kid. 

So it was with some surprise that he opened an email absently on Thursday and read a request to meet for coffee. He agreed and they set a time and a place. 

“Do you want me to come?” Lucius offered. 

“No, it’s okay,” he decided. “Don’t want her to feel ganged up on. I think I spook her as is.” 

“Yeah, bet you scare all the soccer moms, hot stuff.” 

But she’d mentioned her boyfriend’s kid. Possibly she had her own, but when she slid into her seat across from him in her immaculate white knitwear and precise haircut, it seemed unlikely. 

They regarded each other over steaming cups. 

“You’ve done well for yourself,” Pru said eventually. “I saw your website, read some reviews.” 

“We get by,” he agreed. “What about you?” 

“I’m an interior designer. Mostly personal spaces, but I’ve done a few offices.” 

“Huh, what’s that like?” 

Pru seemed relieved to talk about something familiar, so he asked a few questions, letting her ramble a little about her work. When she ran out of steam though, she grimaced. 

“This isn’t what you want to talk about, is it?” 

“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “It’s a lot to face headon.” 

“She’s been dead way longer than she was alive,” Pru said bluntly. “And I think about her a lot, but not name my business and keep her ring around my neck every day a lot. Back then, I didn’t figure you cared much at all really.” 

“What do you mean?” He frowned. 

“I mean you were around a lot, but I figured...” she sighed. “You know. Why does any high school boy stick around a girl?” 

Izzy barked a dry laugh, startled by the bluntness, but welcoming it. “Yeah, no. I’m gay.” 

Pru stared at him then spluttered out a ragged, “What? Did she know?”

“I didn’t know then. She wanted a guy who would protect her and not touch her in ways she didn’t want to be touched and I was good for that,” he said, but the words no longer sat so easily on his tongue. 

Years together. Years that were volatile and strange. He’d watched from a distance and now a little closer as Mary’s kids struggled through high school, the way Alma fell in and out of relationships and Charlie barely seemed old enough to consider them. 

“And we loved each other,” he amended. “A lot. By the end anyway.” 

She nodded slowly. “I can see that. I wish...I don’t know what I would’ve done with that back then, but I still wish I’d known that.” 

“She didn’t trust you,” he said then wished he hadn’t. What was the point all those years later?” 

“I know,” Pru didn’t look hurt. “I tattled on her one too many times. Stole from her. Made fun of her. She gave it back too. She was no saint.” 

“Yeah, she had a mouth on her,” he said and it was hard not to make it sound like praise. 

“Once she told me I was too stupid to tell my feet from my hands. I was nine,” Pru said, her lips twitching like she might smile over it. “I actually worried about that for weeks.” 

“She used to call anyone who cut us off on a bike ‘filthy dickbags’.” 

“Oh my god,” Pru did smile. “You know Dad used to be all over us about swearing. I still can barely say ‘hell’ without wincing. Guess she was braver than me.” 

“Did you get out?” 

“Soon as I turned 18.” 

“Then I’d say just as brave. Braver. If you did it on your own.” 

“I did,” Pru lifted her chin, eyes glinting. And there, just for a second, she did look just like Faith. Izzy had to look away. 

“I uh...you said you didn’t have much of hers?” 

“Just the boots. Ran out in them. Sturdier than my sneakers back then. I still have them, but that’s it really. Mom and Dad when on rampage, tried to act like she’d never even existed.”  

“No pictures?” 

She shook her head. “Never were a big photo family. Mom might’ve had some, but I didn’t even know she’d died until years after it happened. 

Izzy hadn’t been hoping for much, but that tore at him. Nothing at all. Not for the first time, he wished he believed in a higher power so he could thank them for bringing Lucius into his life. 

“My boyfriend is an artist,” he pulled out the envelope. “He found her yearbook picture and drew this. He made a print for you when I told him I’d run into you.” 

“Seriously?” She took the envelope and opened it with a single long nail. They were nicely painted, some kind of white tip situation. It was precise, like the rest of her. Pru was a woman held together by right angles. Izzy could relate. 

“Yeah, I think it’s good, but I’m not really-” 

“Oh my god,” she gasped as she drew out the paper “It’s her. That’s her.” 

He sat back, watched her take it in, pressing her hand to the paper.  “Thank him for me. Please.” 

“I will.” 

“Oh my god,” she said again and closed her eyes. “I half think I made her up sometimes. Is that strange?” 

“No. I know the feeling.” 

“I think I need to go before I start bawling in public,” she said quietly. “But...I’d like to talk again. If that’s okay. Maybe meet your boyfriend so I can say thank you in person.” 

“Any time,” he found himself promising. 

She didn’t take her coffee with her. Izzy bussed it for her, tossing both their half-finished cups away. He decided to walk back home. It was raining every so slightly, the terrible mist of late fall that clung and made everything damp instead of properly wet. 

“Your sister turned out okay,” he mumbled. What was another gray haired guy talking to himself on the street? People could mind their fucking business. “I think you’d like her now. Maybe not. Maybe you’d just tolerate her during the holidays. Would’ve done that with you too.” 

He could imagine it so easily. Faith hadn’t liked parties, neither had he, but they probably would go to Delly’s annual romp anyway or whatever fussy Martha Stewart nightmare Pru might do. Maybe both and after they’d compare notes, trying to outdo each other on who had the most passive-aggressive thing said to them. Faith would win since Delly tended to be more massive-aggressive. 

Or maybe...maybe they would’ve enjoyed both in their own way. Or maybe they wouldn’t have made it there together even if she lived. 

None of it mattered. He couldn’t live his life in what-ifs. What he had was a Lucius, who was getting very thoroughly thanked when he came home tomorrow night and someone else to reminisce with from time to time. That was more than enough. 

[spahhzy]

When Ruby opened her eyes, she was no longer in the home that she and Jaune shared. No, she was back out in the park.

"Hello?" Ruby called out, but no answer came back.

Ruby decided to walk around in hopes of spotting someone as it was unusual to see no one in the park as the sun was high up in the air.

"Hello!" She called out again, but nothing, Ruby was wondering what kind of strange dream she was having cause non-of this was normal.

She heard the clacking of shoes hit the floor, and she immediately turned around and was met with sight of her and Jaune arm in arm, Jaune carrying a picnic basket and Ruby in a white Sunflower dress and sandals, and her cap fluttering behind her as they walked peacefully past her.

The real Ruby looked at them, and for a second thought, she was having a good dream.

But that thought soon turned to horror as the dream version of her looked straight at her with a cruel and evil smile before looking at Jaune, who was non-the wiser.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Ruby said as she tried to run to stop her dream self from committing the act she had done, but as she ran towards them Jaune and her dream self grew farther and farther from her.

"No, Jaune! Come back!" Ruby screamed futility before Jaune was out of her sight and once again out of her reach.

Ruby sunk to her knees.

"It's because you're a pathetic excuse for an arc!" Came her voice all around her.

Ruby snapped her head and tried to look around for where ever her voice was.

"You being weak is what allowed Cinder to do what she did!"

"Shut up! That's not me!" Ruby clampped her ears shut, but she could still hear her own words.

"You, Jaune Arc, are a weak, murderous monster!" Tears now dripped down Ruby's face as she began to sob at the vile words she spoke.

"I do NOT love you." Laughter followed that statement, and it was too much.

It was the final straw as Ruby screamed out, and a white light engulfed everything.

Ruby's screamed, stopped as suddenly she was no longer back at the park but rather in a dark void, but she wasn't alone, no, in fact, with her was Jaune.

She tried to speak, but to her horror, she found she had no voice.

She tried to move towards Jaune but when she tried to move she felt a pair of arms lock around her preventing her from moving.

She looked back to see her dream self smiling evilly at her.

Ruby struggled in vain as she returned her focus to Jaune, who just looked around confused.

"Oh, little one, my little one"

Ruby eyes widened as she recognized that voice from Jaune's text message in that video.

"Come with me"

Jaune looked around as if searching for something or someone.

"Your life is done"

Jaune flinched when the voice said that, and Ruby shook her head, still screaming to get Jaune's attention.

"Forget the future"

Images of Ruby, his friends and family all had X crossed out of them.

"Forget the past"

Images of Penny, Pyrhha, and all those else who fell to help him also flashed on screen with X's on them.

"Your life is over, breath your last"

Jaune just fell to his knees as Ruby got an elbow freed and smashed it into her dream self before suddenly running to Jaune before enveloping him in a hug.

She felt Jaune's arms wrap securely around her and a warmth started to overtake her.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with, but you will, ooooh, you will." Ruby couldn't help but feel as though that last part was for her, but that didn't matter she had Jaune. He was safe in her arms once more.

Suddenly Jaune's arms began getting tighter and tighter.

"J-Jaune, you're hugging too tight," but Jaune said nothing and continued hugging tighter.

"V-vomit boy ea-" She moved to look at her face and to her shock and horror once more, gone were the loving warm blue eyes, were replaced with a cold glacier hiding behind the ominous helmet.

"Jau-"

.

" -ne!" Ruby awoke with a startle as she looked around to see she was back in her and Jaunes room as she breathed heavily.

She struggled to calm herself, but she began to sob as she recalled the nightmare.

Reaching for her scroll, Ruby phoned Yang, who immediately answered.

"Yang...can you come over please...I-I don't think I can be alone"

[maxybabyy]

J:  What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?

K:  Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?

i looove outsider pov fics! be it a stranger or someone close to them, i don't care, they all make my knees weak :') i wrote a light version in 'i carry your heart with me' with alternating povs, and 'if i could fly', which was meant to focus on the outsider pov (and then george&max sorta went overboad!). there are only two F1 stories tagged on ao3 - the wonderful your eyes in the dark by @lilyrizzy being one of them - so we are in desperate need of more!!

Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

ooooh, i love misunderstandings and angst!! i looove vague conversations filled with ambiguity where you just know what the person is trying to say but it comes out so fucking horrible and paniful for the main character. and like, while they're fucking, the character just keeps thinking, this is it. this will be the last time. always i will love him, but he does not love me back (he does :)).

[chazz-is-a-zelda-fan]

☆ For the fic ask: 1, 7, 13, 20 ☆

hi abby!! thanks for the ask!! stars :) 💫💫💫

1: (comfort zone/a typical you-fic) ooooh gimme ALL of that hurt/comfort baby. middle of the night breakdowns and re analyzing your connections to people when you feel truly alone? THE GOOD SHIT!

7: (share one of your favorite pieces of prose and explain why you’re proud of it) abby! how cruel thou art! limiting me to simply ONE??/j lol no it’s from insomniacs because (say it with me folks) mech’s not over insomniacs~ here we go.

The songs Fubuki had left on his desk seemed to glow in the daylight. His sleep-deprived lyrics hadn’t left him, just like they promised him. Maybe they’d be finished someday, but for now, they were content to be melodies, the soundtrack to a short film about two insomniacs sleeping.

oh my GOD. i’ll try to keep it short here but oh my AAAAAAAA. so the whole fic is about how both fubuki and jun can’t sleep, and it’s so painful to read that sometimes i wonder how i managed to do it. but they slept. the two plagued by their past and all the things that happened to them SLEEP. freely and truly and beside each other, they can rest it just so 😭😭

and! the majority of the fic is written in lowercase. writing in lowercase makes you seem more mellow or chilled out, BUT i wanted to use it to highlight just how tired fubuki is. he can’t even speak like he usually does. songwriting is his escape, and it couldn’t save him in his darkest hour. but someone else could, and that saved him. AAA!! i am SO FUCKING GOOD AT WRITING WYHFJWJFKSKGK i’m just like REALLY proud of insomniacs, sorry for the rant 😭😭

13: (what is the best writing advice you’ve come across?) write for yourself. my fic stats ALWAYS made me sad, so fuck the stats! i had fun writing this december! i had fun writing snaps from the same little breaks! i enjoy my fics and that’s what matters.

20: (describe your perfect writing conditions.) headphones fully charged, my playlist for the fic is playing exactly what i need, it’s 2 am, i’ve got a can of soda in my hands, it’s freezing cold and i’m wrapped in a fluffy blanket. that’s when i get the most done. that or right after i had like a realllllyyyy good sob but i’m too dehydrated to do that every time i wanna write lol

once again, thank you for the ask! stars :) 💫💫💫

[rii-ski]

help me find my bro from omegle

I was talking to some1 on omegle and it was very goated like real talk but they disconnected and i def want to interogate them again lmfao so help me find them plz "Bro why you interrogating me" "Damn" "frfr" and "70 year old man living in a shed in ohio" can summon them lol

Stranger: Damn

You: hello !

You: huhh

Stranger: Hey

You: what happened lmao

Stranger: wdym "huhh"?

You: wdym "damn"?

Stranger: What?

You: 💀

Stranger: wdym

Stranger: ?

You: nevermind ight

You: start over ig

You: hello

Stranger: Damn

You: "damn"

Stranger: ?

Stranger: Why quote

Stranger: say it back

You: Damn

Stranger: be polite

Stranger: ty

You: ight sorry mate

You: lmao

Stranger: I'm good, how are you?

You: lmao im alright

Stranger: On here for a reason or just bored?

You: just bored

You: you?

Stranger: Drunk waiting for friends to get online

You: No wonder

You: I could expect so

Stranger: What's that supposed to mean??

You: "Damn"

You: Sorry sorry

Stranger: Maybe I lied about being drunk ever think of that

Stranger: People can lie on the internet

You: Woah

You: Thank you for telling me that information

You: Maybe u arent drunk

You: maybe ur a 70 year old man living in a shed in the middle of ohio

Stranger: I never said I wasn't

You: God

Stranger: Yeah?

You: yeah

You: This is the most interesting convo id had 💀

Stranger: No way

Stranger: as if M isn't captivating

Stranger: "M"

You: REAL

You: M is such a great conversation startger

You: starter**

You: "M" "age?" "you got snap?"

Stranger: I wonder if those people fall for the bots at all

You: I bet you some do

Stranger: Guess they wouldn't bother making bots if it doesn't work

Stranger: RIP horny bastards

You: Yes frfr

Stranger: Are you the frfr person I said "dick" to earlier? If so it was an accident I meant "sick" and I panicked and skipped

You: No I did not recieve a message of someone who said "Dick" instead of "sick"

You: that person mustve been so confused 💀

Stranger: My copy paste was "just tryna chat, nthn weird"

Stranger: Then they said "frfr"

Stranger: and I said "dick"

Stranger: sucked so bad

Stranger: RIP them

You: LMAO

You: Thats funny ngl

Stranger: so anyway you a 70 y/o man in Ohi?

Stranger: Ohio?

You: No

You: im 69 years old man livin in ohio

Stranger: Based

You: God

Stranger: I'm only half a planet away if you wanna meet up?

Stranger: lemme calc

You: Yes imma hop over

Stranger: ooooh it's just a little under 10000 miles

Stranger: Saucy

You: woah

You: super saucy

Stranger: You actually American or can I convert to non-freedom units?

You: I am not american I have no idea what is miles

You: I am asian

Stranger: 16,000 km

You: thank you for that

You: I was confused and just said "super saucy" cuz u said "saucy" 💀

Stranger: That's the appropriate response

You: Yes

You: no other response can be used

Stranger: You a native english speaker?

You: Yes I am

Stranger: I've met people who aren't and can speak better than I can, sucks so bad

You: Are you?

You: Litterally same

Stranger: Yeah I'm Australian white af

You: Alright

Stranger: It's Trauma

You: White ppl trauma

Stranger: What's that supposed to mean Hmm?

You: Nothing

You: Im innocent I swear

Stranger: You probably don't live in Asia then yeah?

You go there at all?

You: LMFAO

You: Got to say that made me laugh a bit

Stranger: Damn

You: "Damn"

You: The silence is so loud

You: What

Stranger: It's hard to qu estion

Stranger: and think

You: Yes real

You: I have nothing to say

Stranger: Yes real

You: Real

Stranger: Agree real

You: Frfr

Stranger: Dick

You: LMFAO

You: i giggled

You: I giggled hard

You: i laughed

You: i bawled

Stranger: didn't mean to make you cry soz

Stranger: I'm innocent I swear

You: u made me cry

You: now I have white people trauma/j/j

Stranger: Damn

You: Damn indeed

Stranger: wyd in free time?

You: Sleep

You: You?

Stranger: real

You: Real

Stranger: YouTube and work

Stranger: and sleep

You: Wow

You: Youtuber arc

Stranger: U watch?

You: sleep>>

Stranger: No way you said "arc" without YT or Anime

You: Yes real

You: I obv watch YT and anime

Stranger: Damn

You: Damn

You: indeed

Stranger: ""Damn""

You: GOD

Stranger: I predicted and you didn't do it

Stranger: Dissapointed

Stranger: fk mispelled

You: You failed

Stranger: Who you watch on YT?

You: Anyone captivating

Stranger: fancy

You: Ikr

You: you?

Stranger: Like reccomended surfing?

Stranger: reccomended surfing

You: yes

You: real

Stranger: any genres

Stranger: I like lawn mowing

Stranger: you seen any of that?

You: top tier content

You: is lawn mowing

Stranger: What's that supposed to mean>

Stranger: ?

You: Bro why are you interrogating me

You: i said lawn mowing is top tier content

Stranger: I don't believed you've seen it

You: Maybe I have, ever thought of that?

Stranger: gets 10M views but I'm the only one

You: rewatches 10M times

You: I helped out a bit

Stranger: Damn

Stranger: good friend

You: Ikr

You: I am best

You: I am top tier

Stranger: Bro why are you interrogating me

Stranger: sry

Stranger: " Bro why are you interrogating me"

You: Hey

You: Dont do that

Stranger: hEY

Stranger: wyd?

You: Bro

Stranger: I aint yo bro

You: alright

You: good to know

You: I am

Stranger: Wait you watch Anime?

You: watching lawn mowing videos

Stranger: which one?

You: yes i watch anime

You: anything captivating

Stranger: fancy

Stranger: saucy even

You: Yes

You: goated content

Stranger: is there goat anime?

Stranger: I havent watche din a few years

You: theres some

You: its hard to find

Stranger: only thing I've heard about is Chainsaw Man

You: yes real

You: its okay

You: its saucy

You: but not goat

Stranger: Damn

Stranger: I was hearing goat talk

You: "Damn"

You: it may be my opinion

You: but yeah Chainsaw man is Saucy x2

Stranger: Ur goat is probablt something shitty then right

You: probably

Stranger: 'Like cowboy bepod

You: yes

You: LMFAO

Stranger: Or full Mental Alchemist

You: No i dont go there

You: im not that genre

Stranger: "Anime" genre?

You: ...

Stranger: So you dont watch

You: I mean

You: I am not in THAT side of the genre

Stranger: Probably just reviewing Chainsaw Man from the YT trailer

Stranger: smh

You: No bro

You: I have watched all and waiting for more

You: I bet you havent even watched a single clip of it

You: smh.

Stranger: """""Damn"""""

You: STOP

You: I scrolled to the top this is the longest omegle talk I've had

You: real talk ig

Stranger: what ig mean i feel old

Stranger: 'specially since you 69

You: yeah

You: real

You: u are 80 arent you?

Stranger: Damn

You: Damn indeed

Stranger: frfr

You: dick

Stranger: fucked up individual

Stranger: Wanna hear something funny?

You: yes

You: let me hear it

Stranger: My copy paste used to be "Not Horny" but I got IP banned

Stranger: fml

You: God

Stranger: Now it's " Bro why are you interrogating me"

You: Yes real

You: I love that

Stranger: Whatchu thinkin?

You: nothing

You: what are YOU thinking hm?

Stranger: Last time I had a convo this long we it was a hot girl who lived close to me and we talked on Snap for a day then never again

You: Damn bro

Stranger: But i'm getting "bro" energy from you

Stranger: Yeah see

You: Oh yes

You: I am definetly the bro energy

Stranger: You workout?

You: Okay next question

Stranger: Damn

You: Damn indeed

Stranger: I'm tryna start but it suckssss

You: Yes real

Stranger: But I wanna be ripped

You: I worked out for a week then never again

Stranger: " Bro why are you interrogating me"

You: Wow.

Stranger: u

Stranger: literally

You: litterally

You: Damn.

Stranger: Anyway I'm out l8r

You: Bro

Stranger: ?

You: we did not have this much talk for you to say I'm out l8r

Stranger: false

Stranger: people lie on the internet stop lying

You: God

Stranger: like I said only hot grills get the snap sonny

Stranger: RIP

You: Gosh

You: I failed

Stranger: dont be sorry

Stranger: be better

You: I am better

Stranger: be hotter and be grillr

You: give me another social then

You: i am not a hot grill

You: i dont bbq things

Stranger: So you're

- not a hot grill

and

- not a man

Stranger: bbq is life

Stranger: no offense

You: bbq is life yes

You: ur correct

You: i am an emo kid now give me a social now

You: i have litterally no one to talk to

Stranger: well if you're a kid it's frfr not happening soz

You: okay I am an emo man

Stranger: find a youtube you like and join their discord

You: bro

You: okay

You: Anyway I'm out l8r

Stranger: real

You: real talk

Stranger: hope u find peeps, much love <3

Stranger has disconnected.

[jentlemahae]

lisa has been announced for paris fashion week. i wonder if she was / has able to negotiate to explore other brands and stay with celiné, similarly to J and Chanel? i also know that some brands fall under the umbrella of celiné (hence what L has been wearing a lot recently along with celiné) or if celiné is having a secret show type of thing?

ooooh we’ve actually been theorizing on her that she has negotiated some freedom in the celine contract cause she’s been wearing other brands recently for appearances, so i think it could be that she’s going for somebody else

[caranfindel]

Fic: A life in hoodies

gen-ish | about 1900 words | pg for language | characters: sam winchester, dean winchester, jessica moore, pamela barnes | synopsis: fifteen years of sam winchester's life told through an inventory of his hoodies; or, this is what happens when a technical writer takes a stab at fanfic (hoodie identification and timeline courtesy of hell's half acre on live journal)

. . .

H.01: Grey fleur-de-lis hoodie

Figure 1:

Description: Light grey full-zip hooded sweatshirt with darker grey fleur-de-lis design on left chest, size XL, brand unknown

Provenance: Purchased by girlfriend at Macy's in Palo Alto in February, 2005 (see Note 1). Lost sometime around July, 2006 (see Note 2)

Note 1:

Please come with me, she said. I've just got to pick up some perfume for my mom's birthday. It will literally take ten minutes. Sam left his jacket in the car. He knew Macy's wasn't exactly Rodeo Drive, but it still wasn't somewhere he felt comfortable wearing his ratty canvas jacket. Jess steered him inside, wandering through displays of linens and cookware, wondering aloud if she was on the right floor. They ended up in menswear, where she stopped in front of a mannequin wearing the grey hoodie. Ooooh, she said. I like that. She yanked one off a hanger and held it up against Sam's chest. Try it on? For me? Sam shrugged it on over his t-shirt, shamefully grateful for a little warmth in the chilly mall. You look so good in that, she said. Would you do me a favor? If I buy it, would you wear it for me? We can call it an early birthday present.

It wasn't the type of clothing he'd normally buy for himself. It was a little more decorative, meant for a more fashion-forward type of guy. The type of guy Jessica wanted him to be, maybe? Okay. He could be that guy. He could do that, for her. She grinned, bundled the hoodie in her arms, and marched to the perfume counter. She paid for both items together so he never saw how much it cost, and ripped off the tag with perfect white teeth while waiting for the clerk to giftwrap her mother's perfume.

Sam Winchester had never bought his mother a birthday present; he had never been dressed by a girlfriend. He saw his new life, his new safe (not normal, safe) life seductively stretching out in front of him, a life where he was a citizen and someday maybe a lawyer and a husband and a father, and he had to hold his breath for fear that it would all blow away.

Note 2:

Sam wore the grey hoodie when he kissed Jess goodbye that night, and it was one of the few things he took with him when he drove away from Palo Alto for the last time. He didn't bother going through whatever belongings survived the fire. There wasn't anything to go back for; the only thing in the apartment that had ever mattered was gone. The hoodie was lost somewhere around the time of the car crash that should have killed his brother. He didn't mourn its loss. He wasn't ever going to be that guy after all.

—

H.02: Charcoal Hoodie

Figure 2:

Description: Charcoal grey full-zip hooded sweatshirt, size XL, brand unknown

Provenance: Purchased at Tractor Supply near Ogden, Utah in November, 2005 (see Note 3). Destroyed in Minnesota in February, 2007 (see Note 4).

Note 3:

Sam was dozing fitfully — just like he'd slept fitfully the night before — when Dean pulled into the Tractor Supply parking lot. You need a heavier coat, he said. That jacket's not warm enough for the mountains. Once inside, Dean peeled off to pick up some other supplies while Sam wandered the aisles, eventually picking up a dark grey hoodie. Dean frowned. No, man; I know you haven't done this in a while, but think camping. Think Colorado. Think cold.

Dean steered him toward a Carhartt jacket (see J.01, Tan Hooded Carhartt Jacket), but Sam didn't put the hoodie back. The Carhartt jacket was perfectly fine, but it was warm and heavy. Too warm and heavy for California. He wouldn't need it when he went back and restarted his life someday.

Note 4:

Weeks later, Sam charged downstairs to the basement of the abandoned house where he'd left Dean fighting a rawhead. The air still reeked of mold and rot and damp but there was something else, something like ozone and burned flesh, and then he saw his brother, limp in a pool of water, eyes closed, mouth slack, dead Taser still in his hand, and in a flash he knew what had happened and he ran, fell to his knees, (no Dean no, ohgod, ohgod), felt for a pulse (goddammit Dean, don't you fucking die on me, I can't do this again, don't you fucking do this to me), took a deep breath and tried again and it was there, a bare flutter under his fingertips, again and again and again, thank God.

He dragged Dean up the stairs, stretched him out in the back seat of the Impala, dug the charcoal hoodie out of his duffel and spread it over his shivering brother and drove him to the hospital. It stayed wrapped around Dean's shoulders when Sam half-carried him into the ER, and ended up in the plastic bag of clothing and personal effects stuffed into the tiny closet of the hospital room Dean was expected to die in. He was wearing it when he showed up at the hotel, frail and faded, no longer Sam's larger-than-life brother.

It was shredded by a black dog a year or so later and Sam never missed it, had never been comfortable with it again, couldn't look at it without seeing it wrapped around Dean, pale and fragile and dying.

—

H.03 Brown hoodie A

Figure 3:

Description: Chocolate brown full-zip hooded sweatshirt, size L, brand unknown

Provenance: Purchased at a Salvation Army in Lincoln, Nebraska in early 2005 (originally purchased by Dean Winchester, see note 5). Discarded sometime in early 2007 (see note 6).

Note 5:

Sam found the hoodie shoved in the farthest corner of the Impala's trunk. He put it on because everything he owned was stained, either because he fell asleep still clutching a styrofoam cup of coffee or because he got doused in someone-or-something's bodily fluids. Dean refused to stop long enough to do laundry, saying everything they owned was clean enough. He laughed at Sam and said got kinda spoiled, did ya, as he pulled on his own dirty shirt and yes, maybe Sam did get spoiled at Stanford. If being used to jeans that didn't stand up on their own, socks that covered your entire foot, clothes that weren't literally spattered with monster guts or your brother's blood, a wardrobe that was old and threadbare and pretty far from high fashion but at least got laundered on a regular basis, shirts that smelled like detergent and not gunpowder, socks that were stored in a disorganized pile in a hamper in your bedroom because they didn't have to be rolled into neat compact balls to fit in the duffle you lived out of, a jacket that smelled like your girlfriend's perfume instead of the smoke of a salt-and-burn because she borrowed it the last time the two of you went to the beach… if being used to all of that meant Sam got spoiled? Then yes, sure, he got fucking spoiled.

It doesn't even fit you, Dean said, eyeing Sam with a frown, as if suddenly realizing how much bigger his real-life brother was than the brother in his head. And he was right. It was too small, too short for Sam's long torso, bought by Dean for his own use because it looked like a color that would hide bloodstains well, but never worn because he didn't actually like hoodies in the first place.

Note 6:

I’m fine, Sam said, pushing Dean’s hand away. Go on, drive. We need to get out of here. Dean frowned, but he knew as well as Sam did that they needed to get away from the graveyard before they were spotted. And no, technically Sam wasn’t exactly fine. Technically, his entire right side was numb, he was nauseated and woozy, he was freezing, and his ears were ringing. But that meant fine enough according to Winchester standards.

When they got to the hotel, Sam reached for the door handle and was hit by a wave of pain. Suddenly his right side was on fire. He gasped and curled in on himself, clutching at his side. Eventually Dean came around and opened the passenger door. Dude? You good? Sam didn’t have to say no, I’m not. Dean took one look at him and reached for his arm. Come on, man. I gotcha. He pulled Sam out of the car and then patted at his right side as Sam wrenched away with a moan. Sam? You’re bleeding. Like, a lot. Dean was right, the color hid bloodstains well. Neither of them had noticed it was shredded along the right side and saturated with blood. Dean tore it into strips and used it as wound packing.

—

H.04 Brown hoodie B

Figure 4:

Description: Brown full-zip hooded sweatshirt, size XL, brand unknown

Provenance: Purchased at a St. Vincent De Paul Thrift Store in Greensburg, Pennsylvania (see note 7) in 2007. Discarded sometime in the spring of 2009 (see note 8).

Note 7:

Another hoodie? Dean asked, eyeing the small pile of purchases on the counter. Sam didn’t respond, but raised his eyebrows to say yeah, and? Dean shrugged. Just, you know, they don’t seem to last very long. And the pockets aren’t good for holding… stuff. Sam knew stuff meant weapons, and while Dean would never put it in so many words, the meaning was clear: You need practical clothes. Pockets that zip or button to keep weapons secure. Heavy fabric that serves as a layer of protection. Stiff fabric that doesn’t reveal the contours of whatever you’re hiding underneath it. You’re not a college student any more. You’re never going to be one again. Stop dressing like one. Sam didn’t put the hoodie back, but he only wore it a few times, and it was the last one he ever wore while hunting.

Note 8:

Sam leaned close to Pamela to hear her whispered last words. I know what you did to that demon, Sam. I can feel what's inside of you. If you think you have good intentions, think again. When he pulled back, her blood had soaked through the front of his hoodie, leaving a dark spot that never completely washed out. Sam left the hoodie in a laundromat somewhere in Wyoming, unable to ignore its accusing stare.

—

H.05 Light grey hoodie

Figure 5:

Description: Light heathered grey full-zip hooded sweatshirt, size XL, brand unknown

Provenance: Purchased at a Wal-Mart in Hays, Kansas in 2013 (originally purchased by Dean Winchester, see note 9). Current status unknown (see note 10).

Note 9:

The first time Dean wore the grey hoodie to take the dog for a walk, Sam's gut clenched into a tight little knot. He hadn't seen it since Dean's bout of healthy living, his attempt to master the Mark of Cain by exercising and eating healthy and quieting his mind. Any relic from that time in their lives brought back memories. Bad ones. For a moment Sam couldn't see anything but images of his brother's black eyes, of Charlie's pyre, of kneeling on the floor of a Mexican restaurant waiting for the bite of the scythe. Stop it, he told himself, pressing a thumbnail into his scarred palm. It's over. We're fine. Everything is fine.

Note 10:

Sam found it in the chaos of Dean's room, draped over his desk chair. It smelled a little like the dog, a little like deodorant soap, a little like bacon. Mostly it smelled like Dean. It was one of the few things Sam took with him when he drove away from the bunker for the last time.

[pandasized-crevice]

MY FRESH JUST WACTHED KINNPORSCHE EP 9 THOUGHTS

I’m shaking,sweating in my boots let’s go

hmmm hmmm hmm giving a sob story huh

SIT THE FUCK DOWN SIR LIAR

i love kinn raising his eyebrows he's so FINE

NO FUCKING WAY THE WATER WAS POISONED?!?!

KING!!!!!!OHMYGOD HE LOOKS STUNNING PER USUAL

YES LETS KILL HIM

AYO WHO ARE YOU BIG TO GIVE YOUR TWO CENTS

oh wait big suspected tawan as a traitor perhaps ill let him slide

don't speak to porsche whore,keep my kings name outta your mouth too

NOOOO I WANTED DEATH TO TAWAN

big giving tawan the death stare as he should

why hello kim (jeff is so beautiful fr)

STOP HE'S THINKING OF CHAY AND HIS SONG IM FADING

POL AND ARM AND PETE MY LOVES

got that bitch under surveillance

ARM DOES KNOW....pete babe come on put the pieces together

i forgot to turn off the water arm please

HOES FOR ABANDONING PETE

H EY bet this when kinn gives pete the mission to spy/infiltrate

I KNEW IT

pete said i am not the one mr kinn

its so cute the arm and pol were just watching and ran back to pete after kinn left i love them

no sleeves for tawan ig

NOT THIS MUSIC CHANGE HEY

when all three are in the same room i break out in hives

PAUSE; kinn looks adorable in the picture

the way porsche is trying to see too

WE REALLY GOING DOWN MEMORY LANE RN?!?!

sTOP the pictures are cute damnit

porsche doing the jumps in the bg someone stop this

kinn please stop this sir YOUR OTHER MAN IS IN THE SAME ROOM HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU

porsche losing his mind i the bg i know it CUZ I WOULD BE

why does tawan speak in third person?

oh its the grabbing kinns arm for me,if i was porsche id walk right in between them like EXCUSE ME

DUDE THIS IS ASS FOR PORSCHE I HATE YALL

finally porsche speaks up my king you don't need this

kinn ik you're not doing this on purpose but im still going to beat your ass

the look porsche is giving kinn

what meeting?!?! kinn ik your mentally FOOLISH THAT IS WHY IM GOING TO OPEN UP A HOSPITAL-

tankhun i love you sir

not another gift basket porsche...actually yes yok deserves them

her jacket is fabulous omg

YOK IS ALL KNOWING

porsche sweetie that is not the way

ooooh i wonder what yok's way is

SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS THIS SLIDING IN SCENE

FUCK IT UP PORSCHE YES KING

porsche & his white undies man

wait are we acting pathetic to get a mans attention?????

dear lord kinn looks so fine SIR OUT THAT CHEST AWAY ITS LETHAL

WE ARE ACTING PATHETIC FOR ATTENTION!!!!!

A Y O CLEAN MY BODY kinn babes if you don't see this as the ruse it is....

damn porsche way to be subtle

YOK I LOVE YOU QUEEN

P A U SE I CANT GO ON IF PORSCHE STARTS MAKING NOISES I JUST CANT

STOP the face kinn is making when he leans in

DAMN PORSCHE SLAMMING THAT MAN ON THE COUCH

J E S U S CHRIST

BITCH YOU CAN SEE THE BOTTOM HALF OF KINN PLEASE

PETE THAT WAS DISGUSTING

SARANGHAEYO pete i swear to god

kinn you whore you liked that close call?!?!

why tf is kinn moving his feet

PETES RIGHT THERE!!they are so foul horny bastards fr

ew tawan OH?what just happened?

vegaspete enthusiasts are screaming rn

pete....ONE JOB

macau shut the fuck up about tankhun

BIBLE IS SO STUNNING

porsche tf you doing?oh cameras right

YOU ARE SO COOL your hand in marriage arm thanks

OH SO PORSCHE IS DOING TO SEE/HEAR WHATEVER KINN WAS DOING IN THERE WITH TAWAN OH

man damn it either have the evidence tawans way or nothing

CHAY BELOVED!! go out with your friends chay :(

AH THE UNDERWATER SCENE

THE FUCK IS VEGAS DOING HERE GIRL WHAT

porsche dont drink that shit please be wary

ID SAY LEAVE FOOL

dear lord vegas

IM GONNA PISS MY PANTS KINN WAS THERE THE WHOLE?TIME

could you imagine if tawan whips out a gun rn......

NOO id throw myself into a river that is so embarassing

oh hell no porsche is not the mole don't twist this around you snake

NO FUCKING WAY DAMNIT DAMNIT NO

kims making those annoyed sighs and im going to beat his ass

HE MADE HIM A GUIATR PICK IM SOBBING

AHHHHHHH A CONFESSION?!?!? CHAY IS BRAVER THAN THE FUCKING MARINES HOLY SHIT CHEEK KISS?!?!

tawan i swear to god he's such a bastard

tankhun the only one with brains in this godforsaken family

PISSING SHITTING MY PANTS ITS VEGAS

ep10 preview: PETE GOES UNDERCOVER FOR PORSCHE?!?!BITCH