#ooh thats a new personal tag i kind of love it

[walkingaftermidnight07]

me: i am a bisexual

*hot girl walks by*

me: i am a LESBIAN

*heart gets broken by the hot girl*

me: yeah no im bi

*hot guy enters the picture*

me: i take it back i am straight

*heart is shattered by said guy bc he doesn't like me back*

me: yeah no im bi. MYSELF.

[unfunnyaceartist]

Vent post ahead that may change your view on me and that may sound dramatic (NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST IN GENERAL) Mostly just to get out my feelings. I only ask that if you look, to be kind and understanding and patient. Also the tags are silly and id appreciate if you read em. id appreciate if you didnt ask me anything on it

I feel toxic sometimes because i can get so jealous i borderline gatekeep things and I always feel so bad because its never intentional but then I end up hating myself because I know its unhealthy and irrational but I cant help it, and I know im so lucky and have a lot in many senses of the word, but at times it feels like they can be taking everything, because when I like someone or something, they tend to matter a fuck-ton to me. Im sorry to anyone ive lashed out at a bit for them wanting what I have, I really am. Its not coming from a place of hostility, rather a place of trauma responses and hyperfixation that stem from my adhd and autism but like when I try something and it goes great, and then someone else is like "OOH thats awesome I wanna do that too" It feels almost like when Im finally happy or excited or proud to have something, someone comes and takes it. Usually Ill play it off as a joke, but in reality, its complete honesty that im trying to soften so I dont upset anyone, especially when its over fiction or a person, because I do NOT own them and I know that, but it bothers me when someone swoops in to do the exact same things or even one-up especially when its really soon after me, and since my self worth is already abysmal, it just makes me feel worse, like I should be lucky to have what I do to begin with, but I feel the need to hold it close to me and protect it so I dont lose things that make me really happy.

Recently Ive even started reverse gatekeeping in response to others, where ill just tell myself I cant or dont deserve to have anything special because I'm not, and only others can enjoy this. But thats why people making me ship content makes me so happy. Its dumb to get jealous over others selfshipping with a character I like. Its dumb to get upset over someone I know copying or taking heavy inspiration from one of my ideas. Its dumb to get possessive over someone else trying to befriend my new awesome friends or wife/wives. I rarely selfship anymore due to my reverse gatekeeping and instead serve the others who simp or enjoy content. I provide since I feel I cant take. It makes me happy and distracts me. But the moment someone else does something similar to what is my toxic coping mechanism for my toxic coping mechanism, it only hurts worse. Thats why sometimes, for example, I get a bit snappy when someone else provides gummybunny (that and also shipping jealousy sometimes). Thats why I get snappy when I make a friend someone else super cool and then another person comes in and wants to befriend them (No darken, this wasnt directed at you, its happened more than once with more than one person but I know how you tend to assume). I LOVE giving but I hate sharing, because all my life whenever I shared, I lost something.

Introduce a friend to a friend? They leave me behind for eachother. Let someone wear my fitbit because they wanted to feel "rich"? It got stolen. Give money to someone in a "rough spot" who promised to repay me somehow? Never saw them again. I was always so trusting and understanding, and I always made excuses for others. Always so naive and gullible. So much so, in fact, that in elementary I kept letting my bullies pretend to be my friends when they claimed they changed, and let them destroy any ounce of worth I had whatsoever. Things that make me happy I CHERISH because of all the things ive lost and all my experiences. Ive never been hit, not once, but the abuse all my life came emotionally and mentally, and I only recently realized through therapy. Now its hard to trust people in certain situations. Sorry for my probably hard to follow and melodramatic rant.

sorry im dumb haha

[thatmooncake]

hi hi!! i saw your reblog of your therapist au art and noticed in the tags that you dont mind answering questions. i hope its alright if i ask you one or two!!

so, you mention in the background section of the au that moon was used to trap souls inside dreams (or something similar to that.) will that be addressed in the future?? i feel like thats prime material for angsty stuff and moon feeling bad about what happened in the past :< not to mention the whole fazbear entertainment thing lending you the therapy bots and them linked to dream experiments is shady (as per usual with fazent.)

(also not as important, but is the whole "trapping souls" thing a reference to somniphobia, the book in the tftp series?? i actually havent read the story personally, but from a brief summary, im getting those same vibes lol. could be entirely a coincidence, but if not, thats cool either way!!!)

and on a more lighter note, can they eat stuff in this au? if so, id love to know their favorite ice-cream flavors! its a weird question to suddenly ask but for some reason this au is giving me "its a summer night, im up way too late, and im eating ice-cream when i shouldnt" type of vibes

anyways!!! im sorry i think i rambled too much but i love your guys' au, and yall's artwork!! cant wait to see more of it, hopefully in the future!

(p.s. unrelated but i thought moon,,,had the bisexual colors in his irises,,,)

Ooh yay hihi I love AU asks!

So! The dreamscape is going to play a big part in the therapy bots AU, and the angst and drama is very much ongoing - it might seem like fun and games at first exploring the therapy themed concepts, but you’re absolutely right, there are massive Somniphobia style undertones there. Moon’s dreamscape is designed to pull you in and it can be addictive and …energy consuming. Or should we say life force consuming?

Moon meanwhile? He feels closer to you in the dreamscape than in the waking world …at first. All the souls he steals become a part of him, in a sense. Remnants of them continue to float around in the dreamscape if you look hard enough, like when you start peeling back the wallpaper of a new house that used to belong to someone else. For the longest time Moon has not really been able to interact in the real world, and honestly most people in the dreamscape very rarely interacted with him either up until the very end, being far too wrapped up in exploring the vast dreamscape which moulds itself around their wants and needs. He’s been kind of used to his role as a passive observer, or a creature without much identity at all. But this time around, because you think he’s a therapy bot, he’s a part of the action. He’s actually being played with. This is unusual for him, and his feelings get a little more muddied over time.

Sun and Moon can absolutely eat in this AU - it was one of their ill-advised “upgrades”. And as the three of you start sharing some soul energy - uhhh, bond with each other more closely, they start to gain the strangest senses too. Senses they’ve never had before, like smell and taste. And they do not know what to make of this. But they do know that Sun likes neapolitan flavour (don’t ask him to pick just one, they look so pretty together!) and Moon likes mint chocolate chip flavour (yep you heard me, mint is good). And that having ice cream late on a summer night is what it’s all about (well, ask Sun about that one - Moon thinks you ought to be sleeping, but he’ll allow it this one time).

Never apologise for rambling I love rambling :D (also everyone who’s mentioned all the pride flag colours you are absolutely correct Sun and Moon say gay rights)

[satoruvt]

for now; forever

pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader

word count → 9015

genre → mostly fluff, angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to… something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry

synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely.

warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire (starts on day 64 and is mentioned throughout the rest of the fic) that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown

a/n → IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i made a fancy banner nd everything <3 i know 9k isn’t a lot to some people but this is probably the longest one shot i’ve ever written LMAOO so i hope it’s paced ok and everything <33 PLEASE let me know what yall thought about this i am insanely proud of it. ok thats it hehe. hope you enjoy!!! see u on the other side!!!!

btw here’s a fun playlist of songs i listened to while writing mixed with some songs i think reflect the fic super well <33

DAY ONE.

So. You’re… out here, now.

Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors doesn’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.

You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend. 

He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.

“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”

The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.

“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”

“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”

Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.

It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left. 

(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)

You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.

The hike takes almost the whole day. 

You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.

The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.

For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.

When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.

“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”

Right. The voice. Radio?

“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”

You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”

There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”

A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”

“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”

You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”

You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”

Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”

“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”

“Yeah!”

You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.

“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”

“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”

This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.

DAY TWO.

The next morning, you dedicate time to getting a little more settled into your home for the next few months. You didn’t bring a lot of decor - you didn’t think you needed any - but even seeing your blanket on the bed and a few books you need to catch up on reading stacked on the desk makes the place feel a little bit more like you. You eventually reach the journal you packed (that Minghao made you pack) and stare at it like it might do something. Like it might tell you to write again, or like it might tell you to leave everything behind. You don’t really know what you want from it.

A sing-songed version of your name comes from your radio and you blink away from the journal, set it down on the desk. “Good morning!” Soonyoung says from the other end, and you feel yourself take a deep breath as you pick up your radio and press down the button so he can hear you.

“Morning, Soonyoung,” you respond, calm compared to his excitement. 

“So… what are your plans for today?”

“Um,” you pause, brows furrowed, looking towards the direction of his tower even though you know he can’t see you. “Looking out for fires?”

“That’s boring,” is Soonyoung’s immediate response, and you laugh a little.

“Kinda my job for a while.”

And listen, you’ve known Soonyoung for less than a full 24 hours, but even before your brain really comprehends what he’s saying you know you’re not going to like it. “Wait, that reminds me,” he says, tone of his voice a little less overexcited puppy. “What did you do before this? Or, like, what’s your career? I mean, you don’t have to answer, I just thought it could be a way for us to get to know each other…”

His voice fades away for the split second you remember a little too much all at once, but somehow your voice still sounds put together when you speak. “Nothing special,” you say. There’s a pause when you don’t elaborate any further, but instead of asking about it, Soonyoung changes the subject.

“Okay!” he says, back to a more playful tone. “Anyways, I asked about your plans ‘cause I kind of need you to do something for me.”

“Already asking favors?” you tease. “We just met, Soonyoung.”

You hear him laugh, loud and hearty, and it’s contagious even through a radio line so you feel your own smile pull at your lips. “One of the other lookouts found some teenagers with fireworks,” he informs you. “I need you to meet him and get the fireworks from him.”

Your feet are already in your shoes, one halfway tied. “You can’t do this?”

Soonyoung’s voice is strangely thoughtful, but you catch a hint of mischief at the end of his sentence. “I would, but Jihoonie said he’d eat me if I tried to see him again and I think he’s serious this time.”

He tells you where the other lookout - Jihoon - should be and gives you a quick lesson on how to properly use your map to get there. You’re not really excited for another hike this early on (you’re still sore from even getting up here) but by the time you meet the halfway mark you’re convinced it’s not that bad. It’s neither long nor challenging, and… well, Soonyoung’s insistent on keeping you company the whole time. 

When you see what looks like a guy at the edge of a now-abandoned camp, you tell Soonyoung you’ll radio him when you’re on your way back to your tower. “Hey,” you call out as you get closer. The man looks up at you, his eyes sharp but not unkind. “Jihoon?”

“Yeah,” he replies. Under his cap you notice that his hair is a gentle silver, almost purple. He’s dressed casually, like you, and you suppose it’s a given since there’s no exact dress code for this job.  “You’re the newbie?”

You didn’t know people knew about you. “I.. I guess,” you say, then tell him your name.

“Cool,” Jihoon says, voice flat like he’s distracted. He picks up the bag next to his feet and hands it to you. “Take these. Thanks.”

He starts to walk away, down a trail opposite the direction you came, but you think of earlier, when Soonyoung asked about your job (or when he didn’t). You call after Jihoon, hesitate, but then opt to make this quick since he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Have you and Soonyoung… known each other for long?”

Jihoon turns around. He shrugs, then nods. “We met in college, a few years ago.”

“What kind of person is he?”

You watch in vague amusement as Jihoon’s nose scrunches up, but the small smile on his face refuses to hide and it makes you giggle. “Really annyoing,” he tells you, then pauses for a second like he’s looking for the right words, “kind of overwhelming sometimes. But he’s good. He’s someone you want around.”

Someone you want around, your brain repeats to you. You nod with a friendly smile as you haphazardly stuff the fireworks in your hiking bag. “Okay. Thank you.”

Jihoon offers an acknowledging nod of his own before continuing on his way back to his tower. You’re about five minutes into your hike back to yours when your radio sounds from your pocket with a now-familiar voice.

“Are you on your way back?” Soonyoung asks. “You forgot to tell me!”

“Sorry, yeah, I am now. I was talkin’ to Jihoon for a second.”

“Really? That’s weird. He rarely talks to anyone, especially strangers. What’d you talk about?”

You can’t help the small smile that lands on your face as you speak. “Stuff to blackmail you with.”

You think you hear Soonyoung’s groan all the way from his tower, and your smile only grows when it turns into a laugh.

DAY FIVE.

The clouds look dark today.

They haven’t covered the sun completely yet, but they’re closing in fast. You hope that it rains, already sick and tired of the disgusting heat, but also. Something else.

Rainy days always used to be the best to write, your brain supplies to you. You brave a glance at the still-unopened journal on the desk, thinking that maybe…

Your radio turning on drags you away from the crack in metaphorical door, coming at the perfect time as if to tell you that you’re not ready yet. You listen to it, grab the radio, murmur a greeting to Soonyoung.

“It’s getting pretty dark out, huh?” He says. He must be looking at the sky, too.

“Yeah,” you hum. “Hopefully the storm isn’t too bad.”

The line goes quiet, but you know that Soonyoung’s still there even if he isn’t saying anything. The knowledge comforts you, just a little.

“Well... got any rainy day stories?”

DAY SEVENTEEN.

“So, Soonyoung,” you call into your radio as you step outside. You’ve taken advantage of the small balcony around the entire cabin, setting up a few chairs you found in the storage unit at the bottom of the tower (just in case someone stops by, you tell yourself) and a small table you weren’t using inside. The nights are hot but still relaxing, and you find yourself sitting outside often, catching up on reading or taking in the stars. 

“I can’t believe you radioed me first,” Soonyoung responds, and you hear the smugness in his voice. “I’m so happy!”

Soonyoung somehow almost always manages to be with you in the nights, too, even if not physically. Being away from the urban civilization you’re used to has been a little difficult to adjust to, but you feel significantly less alone whenever you hear him calling you. You tell him to be quiet even though both of you are laughing. The distant crickets make your chest warm.

“What do you do? You didn’t tell me before,” You ask him after a second. There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes over you at the idea that he might call you out about when he asked you the same thing. That was two weeks ago, though, you think, and Soonyoung wouldn’t. You’re sure he’s been able to tell that it’s a touchy subject. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, even if (and you’ve learned this the past few weeks) Soonyoung’s a bit more on the oblivious side sometimes.

“I dance!” 

Somehow, despite having not even seen what he looks like, it’s fitting. “Like… teach, or choreograph, or…”

“A little of everything,” Soonyoung tells you, and then starts elaborating. His voice echoes through your radio and you look up at the stars as you listen to him, trying to map out constellations from memory. He sounds so excited to simply talk about it, you can’t imagine what he must look like when he’s actually on stage. You hope you get to see it one day.

“You’ll have to teach me something sometime,” you say once he’s finished, voicing your thoughts. With a giggle that sounds like the stars above you, he tells you he’d love to.

A moment of quiet passes, spent focusing on the tiny specks of fireflies you see in the field around your tower and feeling the summer breeze as it passes. The words slip out of your mouth with much less resistance than you thought they would.

“I used to write,” you murmur into your radio. It takes you a moment to register the heavy beat of your heart, like you just got back from a run.

“Used to?” Soonyoung asks, curious but soft.

“For now,” you answer. The ache you’ve become familiar with throbs in your chest. “Hopefully not forever.”

It’s not the whole story - not even close - but you figure you might be able to tell him with time. The thought stresses you out even when you have nothing to stress about, and you think Soonyoung is psychic because he says, next, “the stars are really pretty tonight.”

You’re not looking at the sky when you answer. Your head is tilted in the direction of his tower. 

“They really are,” you say.

DAY THIRTY-THREE.

You’ve fallen into a bit of a routine with Soonyoung. 

Not a day goes by where you don’t talk to him - the one day you radioed and he didn’t pick up you genuinely thought something happened to him, seconds away from calling a park ranger. Right before you actually did it, though, he picked up his radio and said he had been taking a nap.

(His voice was a little groggy from sleep, sounded like he was pouting whether he meant to or not and you’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart skip a few beats - but if anyone asked, you’d definitely lie about it.)

One of you calls the other around the same time every morning and you don’t put down your radio until the sun is well behind the mountains. You’ve grown used to his presence, in a way, even if you can’t really feel him with you (though sometimes you swear you can). It’s comforting to have him out there with you, and it’s been so long since you’ve talked to someone the way you do with Soonyoung… you find yourself looking forward to every morning, waiting for when you hear him over your radio.

Today is no different.

Well, in an unrelated way, it is - you have to hike to a supply box to get your surplus of food for the next month and a half you have left. But even as you’re doing inventory of what you have left in your cabin on a piece of paper, you’re waiting for Soonyoung’s usual good morning. It comes as always, makes you smile when you hear it.

“Good morning!” 

You leave your scratch paper on your desk and reach for your radio. “Morning,” you say after you’ve pressed the button down. 

“So…” Soonyoung trails off. “Supply drop day.”

“Yeah,” you reply, sitting on your bed.

“Both of us are getting crates of food today…”

What is he getting at? “Uh-huh…?”

“Both of us… getting supplies… from the same place.”

A confused laugh leaves your lips. “Soonyoung, what is your point?”

Even for as often as you talk to him, you’re still always surprised when he starts yelling. “Let’s meet up!” he exclaims, obviously excited, and it clicks in your head.

“Oh my God, can we do that?” 

“Yeah!” Soonyoung sounds like he’s grinning, smile palpable in his voice. “If we pull some strings with the other lookouts and get hiking at the right time, it’s totally possible.”

Holy shit. Your heart is beating wildly, butterflies swarming around it at the thought of meeting Soonyoung in person. “Okay,” you tell him, noting that you sound a little breathless. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”

It takes a few minutes to work everything out - the supply boxes should be dropped off by midday, so you can leave your tower around then and get to the drop location in a little over an hour. Soonyoung has to leave earlier than you since he’s farther away, but if everything goes well the two of you should get to the drop location close to the same time, margin of error small. You radio Jihoon to cover for you while you’re out, and he agrees, although he sounds a bit miffed.

When you finally leave for your hike, you’re not expecting how quiet it is. Soonyoung’s usually there to cover it up with his voice - you don’t hike often (you’ve not had to, given your job for the summer is to watch for fires) but whenever you have he’s been there to keep you company. You plug in your earphones about halfway through your trip just to drown out the quiet, something more to listen to than just trees and the sound of your own footsteps.

Eventually you make it to the supply box, and, well. There’s a guy. Standing in front of a long, green box - you think you see lookout tower names engraved ever few inches: Thorofare, Cottonwood, Twin Peaks. Packing some ready-to-eat meals into his backpack.

Holy shit, Soonyoung? your brain automatically asks, and it sends your heart spiraling up and down. You’re not sure what you thought he looked like, but it wasn’t this. Tall, lean - wait, you don’t even know if this is actually him yet.

Before you can think too much about it, you call out, voice tentative. “Are you… Soonyoung?”

The man turns around, shakes his head with a kind smile. “No,” he says. “I’m Joshua.”

You think about throwing yourself into the river by your tower when you get back for absolutely no reason. Somehow you manage a polite smile and a gentle sorry.

“No, don’t apologize, you’re fine!” Joshua chirps, adjusting the cap on his head. “You’re looking for him?”

You pause. Those aren’t the exact words you would use, but they’re not technically wrong, so you nod. After all, you don’t know what he looks like (you probably should have asked him before both of you left, but you weren’t expecting another person to be here).

“Please don’t tell me he got lost again,” Joshua says, suddenly looking tired, and you look back at him wide-eyed because... again? Has this happened before?

“No,” you tell him. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. Since we both have to pick up supplies he thought it’d be cool if we met up in person.”

Joshua sighs, seemingly relieved, then continues packing what’s left of his supplies into his backpack as he hums. “That’s weird.”

“What is?”

He shrugs. “Soonyoung likes the outdoors, yeah, but the supply box is a pretty far hike from his tower. I think the last few summers he’s had them delivered.”

Oh, you think, and maybe say out loud, because then Joshua’s looking back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. 

“He must really like you to come all the way out here,” he tells you, and you laugh like it might get rid of all the thoughts popping up in your mind that you keep telling yourself to stop thinking about.

“And yet,” you say wistfully, looking towards the horizon. “I still come second to Jihoon.”

This time Joshua laughs, a friendly sound, and the two of you fall into a playful conversation. He’s somewhat a superior of yours, though not by a far gap - as the lookout who’s been on the job the longest, he oversees the rest of you (which is you, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and a few others you have yet to come across). You get along with him easily and it’s weird to think that if you hadn’t gone through what you did a few months ago you wouldn’t be here talking to him, establishing what could be a new friendship. You wonder if that’s a new step towards healing, finding a way to be grateful even if it was horrible.

You talk to Joshua for a while until he says he should get back to his tower. You nod, tell him goodbye (and thanks for his company) and he starts to walk away -

“Shua!”

A burst of platinum blonde hair rushes past you from the opposite direction you came from, heading for Joshua. The new guy drops a bag at his feet and almost softly crashes into Joshua, who has this look on his face you can’t really decipher.

“Hey, Soonyoung,” he says, and you blink.

Soonyoung, like… your Soonyoung? The Soonyoung you’ve been talking to for weeks?

You watch as the two hug, Soonyoung excited to see Joshua and completely ignoring you (though you’re not sure he’s doing it intentionally). All you can do is stand there. This is him, your brain keeps telling you. This is the guy.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “How are you? How have things been?”

Joshua shrugs, a small smile on his face as he puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung’s head and starts… petting. “I’ve been good, same old deal. I know that you’ve been doing good too, though, as far as I’ve seen from your reports.”

Soonyoung beams at the praise and you take note of it in the back of your mind (you also note the way Joshua’s treating him like a toddler and how it’s working). He opens his mouth to say something else but looks around and meets your eyes - for a second there’s nothing at all, but then you think you see an exclamation mark actually pop above his head.

The yell of your name is so loud it makes you jump. “Oh my God,” Soonyoung whines, falling to his knees dramatically. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”

“This is the first time you’ve seen me,” you say. You can’t seem to hold back your smile.

Joshua excuses himself (again) and finally moves on his way, says he’s in Thorofare lookout if anything happens. The sun is mellow on your skin as you look at Soonyoung, take him in - light hair, warm eyes, tan skin. His smile matches your own. A breeze shifts by, slow and sweet.

“Hi,” you say.

Soonyoung grins.

“Hey.”

-

So the bag you saw Soonyoung drop on the ground before was, in fact, for a picnic.

He didn’t bring a lot of food (the whole point of the hike was to get supply boxes anyways) aside from a few candy bars he’d saved for today. He did bring a blanket, however, and the two of you set everything up on the edge of a rock not too far away from the drop location, under some trees. It looks over a small ravine, a stream cutting through at the bottom. 

The time goes by like it was never there in the first place, spent talking and laughing. Soonyoung is just as animated in person as you thought he’d be, telling stories wildly as the two of you snack away a portion of your supplies. You know the two of you don’t have much time together, given how late it already was when Soonyoung arrived and both of your hikes back to your respective towers, but it’s still… refreshing, almost, to be with him like this, to finally get a piece of him you didn’t before. To hear him without the crackle of the radio and to see him.

To see him.

Something stirs in your chest when you look at him lying back on the blanket, arms supporting his head with his eyes closed. The sun lights up his skin in a golden glow, like honey, and the dark roots growing into his blonde hair are somehow endearing. The breath leaves your lungs when you finally label him as pretty. You hope you can blame the heat in your cheeks on the sun.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Soonyoung sighs, still not opening his eyes. You almost reach out to brush the hair away from his face, but a breeze comes by and does it for you. You hope it’s not a sign.

“It would be nice, huh,” you murmur in response. You finally break your gaze from Soonyoung and lean back on your hands, soaking up the feeling of the blue sky.

It’s now that you remember what Joshua had said earlier about Soonyoung usually getting his supplies delivered, and you turn back to him. “Hey, before you got to the supply box, Joshua and I were talking.” Soonyoung hums in acknowledgement. “Is the hike from your tower to here really that bad?”

His voice strains as he stretches, opening his eyes to look at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s a bitch of a hike to take sometimes. But it’s not really hard except for a few spots, just long.”

You furrow your brows. When you agreed to meet him, you didn’t think it’d be this much trouble for him. “And you came all this way so we could… what, sit here and eat? Like we do most of the time anyways? Just separately?”

Soonyoung pouts at you and you feel personally attacked. “Food tastes good when you’re with other people.”

You give him a soft, semi-playful glare, and Soonyoung offers a small giggle. You turn back towards the view in front of you.

“Did you not want me to come down?” He asks, and he doesn’t sound… sad, really, more observant. Like he wants to know where you’re at.

“No,” you answer almost immediately (Jesus, your brain says). “I just… it’s a long trip. It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the effort.”

Like I’m worth the effort, you think to yourself. 

You hear Soonyoung shuffle behind you and turn around to look at him again, finding him sitting up straight. “It is to me,” he tells you, and there’s something in his eyes that holds you in your spot. The tips of his fingers brush against yours on the blanket. You’d look down if you didn’t think you’d miss something. “I wanted to.”

In a second, it clicks.

-

It’s not much longer until Soonyoung needs to start heading back. The two of you get your things together, and you help him pack up the picnic supplies he brought. When everything’s said and done and the two of you are back by the supply box, there’s a second of uncharacteristic quiet that falls over you.

“Let me know when you get back,” you say after a moment. Soonyoung grins.

“You’re worried about me!” he swoons, and you hit him on the shoulder playfully, but don’t deny it. It can be dangerous out there, and even if Soonyoung has been out here longer than you, anything can happen. 

“Just radio me, okay?”

Soonyoung smiles, something a little softer from before. He nods. “I will. You be safe too.”

You nod in return, taking a few steps back towards the trail that leads back to your tower. “Talk to you later, Hoshi.”

The last you see of him before you turn around is the grin on his face.

DAY THIRTY-FOUR.

It feels like forever since you’ve been here.

A window is open and welcomes a distant ambiance of the forest around you, trees and birds and animals. The journal you brought with you is open to the first page, but remains untouched - nothing on the pages. At least, not yet.

(The not yet you always tell yourself seems closer, this time, not so far away. Within reach, or at least within reason.)

Soonyoung had called in that the hike from yesterday had worn him out and he needed a nap. You had laughed fondly at how tired he sounded, told him to sleep well and that you’d be waiting for him. And you feel the words, right at your fingertips, the way the rest and wait to be written. Their presence is both terrifying and reassuring. 

You don’t think they’ll be able to bleed out correctly, not the way they used to since it’s been so long. But they’re there, in your mind, in your heart. 

You pick up the pen you got out, feel the weight of it as you click it a few times. You tap it on the desk once, twice, and then.

You take a deep breath and start to write.

DAY SIXTY-FOUR.

“Are you lookin’ at the fire?”

Your eyes leave the page of your book at Soonyoung’s voice crackling from the radio, looking around your cabin windows to see that, oh, there is a fire. You’d kind of forgotten that it’s… literally your job. At least there are multiple lookouts.

You fold the corner of the page you’re on as a makeshift bookmark before closing the book and setting it down on your bed as you stand to get your radio. You grab a can of soda from the mini-fridge you’ve started to utilize (as best you can, given it does a mediocre job at keeping things cool) before walking out onto the deck, sitting in one of the chairs you set up. “Now I am,” you tell Soonyoung as you adjust the chair so it faces the direction of the fire. You think you’re the closest lookout to it - which makes the fact that you didn’t notice it even worse - but not in any danger. The smoke paints the evening sky red-orange, washing over the purples and blues the sun used earlier as it set. “You’ve called it in?”

“Yeah, told Josh, who told the higher-ups,” Soonyoung responds, voice strangely… solemn? He sighs his next words. “They’ll probably send a crew in for suppression by morning.”

“Is there a reason you sound sad about putting a potentially dangerous forest fire out?” You tease, cracking open your soda and taking a sip. The carbonation feels good in your mouth, pops on your tongue.

“I’m not!” Soonyoung denies after some sputtering, and you laugh. “Just… ugh, looking at it - I’ve worked here every summer for the past, like, five years, and I’ve only ever seen two fires. Three, counting this one.” His voice gains a certain softness, like he’s lost in thought. “I don’t want the place to burn down or anything, but… don’t you think it’s kind of beautiful?”

It’s a little morally ambiguous, but as you look at the distant, licking flames you have to agree. In the dark, it’s vibrant, more than just ashy smoke and the smell of burning - it glows red, flushes out silhouettes of the trees in between it and you.

“I guess it is,” you hum into your radio as you stare at it.

“So. What should we name it?”

“The fire?”

“Yes,” Soonyoung says, dramatic as always. “She needs a name! I’ve always given them names, but I’ll let you do the honor this time.”

There’s something sweet in the way he offers you the chance to name it, and you try not to dwell on it too much. “Ah,” you start, thinking for a moment. “Barbara. The Barbara Fire.”

Soonyoung howls out a laugh and it’s infectious; you feel the tugging of your lips into a grin. “That is the worst thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “We are not naming it the Barbara Fire.”

You huff out a fake whine. “Come on, it’s just Barb! She’s beautiful.”

“But deadly,” Soonyoung adds in a voice that sounds like it came straight out of a crime documentary. It makes you giggle, the two of you throwing around silly, stupid names.

“Okay, okay,” you say after a few minutes. “Then… hmm, the Hoshi Fire.”

There’s a long, long pause, and you hold down the button to your radio again. “Uh oh, is he broken?”

Soonyoung’s voice comes through, joking, but you sense a pinch of sincerity. “You want to name a raging forest fire after me… I feel like I shouldn’t be happy but I kind of am.”

You remember to push the button as you laugh, looking directly at the fire and shouting, “I hereby dub thee… the Hoshi Fire!” as loud as you can.

After the laughter dies down, for a second, there’s quiet - not awkward or for the sake of a bit, just quiet. Soonyoung’s not telling a story, you’re not giving witty comebacks. It’s just the two of you and the fire, alone in the forest.

It breaks eventually. Soft, gentle. “I’m glad you’re out here, you know,” Soonyoung says.

His words make you stiffen and relax all at once, and almost on instinct you look in the direction of his tower. You can’t really see the silhouette - the sun too far gone, taking the last of its light with it - but you know it’s there, can pinpoint exactly where it should be. You hope Soonyoung’s looking over at you, too.

And even if the reason you’re here in the first place is still a tender bruise to be pressed, you find yourself recovering a little more every day. “I am, too,” you respond. “I… I wish you were over here.”

It’s a roundabout way to say I miss you, but a part of you thinks neither of you are ready for something that explicit. You reach a hand out in the direction of Soonyoung’s tower, grasping at it like it might bring him to you. It’s not as if you can’t meet up with him again, but… between the distance and the fact that there’s an actual fire to keep your eye on, it certainly wouldn’t be easy. This is the closest you can get for now.

“I wish I was too,” Soonyoung says. You close your eyes to picture him, pretty smile and fond eyes. “We could hang out, like last time.”

“Without the radios,” you add. 

“We could, um… you know.”

His words make you giggle, and you feel a little lucky that you’re not holding down the button. Your heart is pounding in your chest, nervous but stable, secure, as you reply. A welcomed beat, even if startling.

“No, I don’t,” you tell him. Your soda sits forgotten, half-empty, on the floor of the deck by your feet. You don’t bother paying attention to the fire. “What could we do?”

Soonyoung groans and this time you laugh pushing the button so he can hear you, warm and affectionate. “Don’t tease me! You know what I’m talking about.”

You do. “What could we do, Soonyoung?”

There’s a pause, but you know he’s still there.

“Well,” he says eventually. “Let me tell you.”

DAY SEVENTY-SIX.

The fire’s gotten big.

You feel like you shouldn’t be surprised by it - it’s a wildfire, they’re not exactly easy to contain, but seeing it up close like this is vastly different from being in a city and barely even noticing the smoke. It is larger than life out here, consuming more and more of the forest each day. The last few days you’ve spent inside due to the low visibility (though it’s not as if you take a hike every day anyways). It makes you wonder if it’s safe to stay out here.

“...Hey,”  Soonyoung radios in. “I have a question for you.”

Rationally, you know whatever it is, it can’t be that serious. But your heart picks up pace anyways, beats a little harder as you pick up your radio to respond. “Look, it was Jihoon’s idea to use the fireworks, I promise neither of us knew it would start the fire.”

Soonyoung sputters out a laugh and you match him, feeling yourself calm down. “I’ll… I’ll ask Jihoon about that later, but - I really do have something to ask you.”

You lay down in your bed, unmade and messy. “Is it… bad?”

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung responds. “Maybe?”

“Okay…” you say, timid. “Shoot.”

“When you first got here, I asked why you took the job,” he says, and you nod to yourself, remembering the first call you got from him. “You just… never really responded. I get it if it’s, like, a touchy subject, I don’t want to pressure you at all…”

“No,” you interrupt before you realize what you’re saying. You take a deep breath, Soonyoung waits. “No, it’s probably… it might be good to talk about it. I’ll tell you.”

He murmurs an okay, tells you to take your time and you do. It’s not like you’re scared to tell him - you’ve come to trust him, you know he won’t judge you for anything that happened or think any differently of you. You’re not even sure that’s why it’s hard for you to talk about - rather than any sort of outside force that might affect you, it’s more… more of a part of you that you felt you lost. It’s more coming to terms - even after these months - and going through the motions. It’s scary to talk about disconnection, especially from the one thing you loved (love?) more than anything.

“I… write,” is how you start, looking at the ceiling of your cabin as you speak. “Or wrote, maybe? I’m an author. I have a few books published. Writing is something I’ve loved since I was so young, it’s… a part of me, really. It’s special to me.

“When I finally got a manager and a publishing company and all that official stuff, I was so excited. It was like I was finally living my dream. I wrote my first book and got it published and it did really well, so my management asked me to do another, and I did. Then they asked for one after that, and I didn’t… it felt too soon, in a way. Rushed. But I guess I did it because I had to, because I figured this just came with being a writer and not everything is what you want it to be - and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had wanted almost my entire life.”

You take a moment to steady yourself, note the tremble of your fingers and take a few deep breaths. Soonyoung waits for you, patient and kind. “It went like that for a while, and I lost touch with writing. I stopped loving the only thing I knew how to love. I was so detached from it. A few months before I took this job my manager set up a press conference for me, and I… kind of… had a breakdown. At the conference. So I’m out here to run away for a second. Be away from it all.”

The quiet that follows doesn’t make you nervous, really, but you’re still waiting for a reply of any sort. Even if it’s the common oh or it’ll be okay that you got from distant friends and relatives who didn’t know what was really going on. But Soonyoung was patient with you, so you can be patient with him.

“Have you written since?” He asks after a minute, and your eyes flash over to the journal on your desk. One page has the familiar strokes and loops of your handwriting, written after you met Soonyoung in person.

“Only once,” you respond, truthful.

“When you start to write again… will you show me?”

And for some reason the question is so tender, filled to the brim with something you want to name. It makes tears spring to your eyes as you look out over the rising fire, trying not to let your voice shake too much as you reply.

(Maybe it’s because he said when and not if, maybe it’s because he didn’t tell you it’ll be okay, maybe it’s because it’s him and not someone else telling you the same thing.)

“Yeah,” you say, letting go of the button to sniff. “Yeah, I will. If you let me see one of your dances.”

You hear Soonyoung’s smile through the radio as he tells you it’s a deal.

DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT.

For the first time since you started working, someone who isn’t Soonyoung calls you through the radio (not counting the time you radioed Jihoon to make sure he was still alive, because you only saw him once and hadn’t heard from him since then). You hear the familiar click that tells you someone’s on the station, and you’re fully expecting Soonyoung’s voice to light up your cabin the way it always does. Instead, Joshua’s voice rings through.

“You there?” He asks after a comfortable call of your name, and you pick up your radio.

“Yeah, I’m here. It’s been a while,” you respond, and Joshua hums. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve… been,” he tells you, which earns a small laugh. “Anyways, I called in to let you know that they’re having trouble controlling the fire -”

You take a look at the giant flume of smoke north of your tower, nodding to yourself. “I can see that.”

Joshua tells you to be quiet. You hear the friendly smile in his voice.

“There’ll be an evacuation team here within the next two days,” he says. “Maybe less, shouldn’t be more. They’re gonna get all the lookouts evacuated.”

Oh. Evacuation? That means… the city. Your apartment, back to your family and friends. You’d forgotten an entire world exists outside of the bubble you created for yourself.

“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking at the fire. “I assume you’ve told the other lookouts?”

“I’ve got a few more to call, but other than that, yeah, everyone’s covered. I told Soonyoung and Jihoon first,” Joshua tells you, and you blink at the fact that you didn’t even have to ask. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Yeah. Stay safe, Josh.”

You sit for a while after that, trying to cope with the feeling in your chest. You… you feel better about everything, about writing, for sure, but. But. It’s cut short, even if only by a little over a week. You haven’t even started packing anything up - so much of you is strewn around the cabin, in the field around your tower, in the trees of the forest you hiked through. You don’t think you’re ready to say goodbye to the place you’ve made your home and the people (person, your heart whispers) with it. 

The sun starts to set and the fire grows. You sit on your bed and look at the things you’ve made your own, a sunken, unfinished emotion spreading through you. Eventually it is Soonyoung’s voice that comes from your radio, low and humorous.

“The Hoshi Fire can’t be stopped…” he murmurs, and you laugh despite the loss you feel. 

“Please,” you groan into your radio after you’ve grabbed it. “We’re getting evacuated!”

Soonyoung giggles, something mischievous that makes your heart warm with slow appreciation. “I can’t believe it’s ending so soon,” you say, standing up to walk around aimlessly.

“Yeah, the summer went by super fast, huh?” Soonyoung replies. “I’m kind of excited, though. I’ve missed a proper dance studio.”

That’s… oh. 

A current of mild surprise rolls through you and you think you physically feel your jaw drop, just a little. That - that hurt. More than you want it to, more than you think it should - but it’s... fine. You’ve only known Soonyoung for a few months, it’s not like…

You realize you haven’t responded and open your mouth on purpose this time. “I wish we could share the sentiment, Hoshi,” you joke, hoping it doesn’t sound too stiff. 

If Soonyoung notices anything, he doesn’t say it. Only laughs, sweet and genuine. “I’m sure you’ll find something to yearn for just as I yearn for dance,” he says dramatically. You laugh, forced, because yeah, you will. Maybe you already have.

DAY EIGHTY.

Evacuation day.

Last day in your tower. Last day in the forest. Last day of the job you took to escape, to heal. It’s spent packing up the things you brought with you, throwing away everything else. Joshua said helicopters would be touching down at two points - Twin Peaks lookout and Mule Point lookout. Twin Peaks is Soonyoung’s tower, and if you planned it out right, you could probably get there and leave with him.

You tell yourself that the reason you can’t is because Mule Point is closer. Safer. They’re evacuating you for a reason.

“Hey.”

Speak of the devil, you think, grabbing your radio from its charging port. “Hi.”

“So,” Soonyoung says. For the first time since you’ve known him, he seems awkward. “Evacuation day.”

“Yessir…”

“What evacuation point are you hiking to?”

You pause, hesitate like you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. “Mule Point,” you manage to get out. “It’s closer,” you say after, your brain telling you to justify it, explain.

“What did the Hoshi Fire ever do to you?” Soonyoung huffs out through a laugh, and it sounds so unaffected that you feel that ache from before again. After a second, he adds, “so… this’ll be the last we talk. At least for a while.”

That realization hits you like a brick and the sting behind your eyes seems normal - regardless of whatever was built between you and Soonyoung or what lead you out here in the first place, it’s so sad that it’s ending. “Yeah,” you say quietly. Everything is packed, you just need to get hiking. “I, um. Is it cheesy to say thank you?”

“Maybe,” Soonyoung chuckles. “But it’ll also make me feel really good, so…”

You feel yourself calm down and let out your own small giggle. Maybe it was always meant to end this way, a little too soon, a little too sad. “Really… thanks, Soonyoung. I think it would’ve been worse for me if I got the silence I came out here for. I’m glad I had you to talk to.”

“Thank you, too,” Soonyoung says back. “I hope… you write again. I’ll talk to you later.”

The mention of it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and you feel the smallest of smiles on your lips. “Yeah. Later.”

The radio clicks off and that’s the last you hear from Soonyoung.

EPILOGUE.

It’s hard to come back.

From nature, from Soonyoung - everything, really. To go from trees and fires and talking every night back to car horns, busy sidewalks and your own apartment. It’s weird to wake up and not see the immediate shine of the sun through your windows. But you come back, slowly get used to the life you had before.

And you start writing.

Given - you get back in August only start writing again in October, but you write. Little by little, page after page. Maybe not every day, like you used to, but the words are back and they are eager to get out, leave their mark as your work. You stand up to your management (with Minghao’s support) and take control of your own writing schedule. The pressure from before leaves. Writing becomes special more than ever, returns as the one thing you never get truly tired of.

Minghao asks about the job, your summer. You tell him it was easy and peaceful, and that you’re thankful for the time. You mention the other lookouts. You mention Soonyoung. Only in passing, though. 

(Minghao definitely suspects something, but even if he asked, you wouldn’t tell him much.)

Sometimes you allow yourself to think of him - when you got back, you looked for a Soonyoung in the multiple dance studios in the city, but since you didn’t have a last name or any proper title, nothing came up. After that, you gave up, but he still shows up in your thoughts from time to time, bright blonde hair (the roots growing in) and glowing smile. It’s cold out, now, so you hope he isn’t getting sick and that he’s staying warm.

You’re reminded of just how cold it is when you have to brace the outside world to get your mail. There’s not even any wind, just an undeniable cold, and it makes your nose burn and eyes water as you walk the short trek to your mailbox. You find your slot and push your key in, unlocking it and gathering your mail. Most of it is junk, but you could have sworn something you ordered was supposed to come today -

“Excuse me?”

You turn your head to the voice and find a man walking towards you, his head turned down towards a small piece of paper. His voice sounds familiar, but you figure it must just be a neighbor you haven’t spoken to in a while. You turn your body to him, waiting for him to look up from the note so you can place a name on him. “Do you know where I can find an author…”

He looks up.

It’s Soonyoung.

He looks a little different - his hair is shorter, dyed black instead of the platinum you remember from last July. But it’s definitely him. The longer you stare at each other the wider his smile gets, and you stand, speechless. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. Your heart starts to race, warms you up beneath your jacket.

“Found you,” Soonyoung grins. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “You did.”

[loth-wolffe]

AHH CONGRATS ON REACHING 400 U ABSOLUTELY DESERVE IT!! :] also i'd like to tag along the ship game thingy it looks fun :0 i'd prefer to be shipped with a bad batch member if that's ok (and considering we're mutuals which im still in a shock about im pretty sure it's obvious who i like heheh oops)

soo i am a very very quiet person at first, but then when i know we both have similarities and get closer im very annoying (affectionate) i'd straight up pester my friends for like 2 hours and then stay quiet for the rest of the day bcs i get drained rip but besides annoying them i tend to do playful bullying more, sarcasm if u will there are many moments where i'll just whack my friends (they r okay with it we whack each other a lot) and i'd step on the back of their shoes and yanno basically call eachother morons but that's like the PEAK friendship for us so hehe

but no worries we know it's just playful banters and we love each other sm platonically ofc, and we tend to be for each other when we need it, i always make sure my friends have someone they can rant to, all of my friends go through some heavy stuff so im glad they trust me enough to tell me those and ofc i always keep a secret

ooh my top love language is quality time, i love sitting together in silence with my friend and we both do our own thing, maybe show each other a funny meme or doodle and we'd talk through writing on each other's papers in class bcs we are both drained and tired but generally i do love sitting in silence together with my loves ones maybe bcs i also dislike voicing what i want, i'd just either code i want something or just look at them until they figure it out which i do a lot with my parents heh, im very loud with my parents tho i am the youngest sibling after all, still the only daughter tho

physically im 154 so that's about uh 5'1 i think? i like cats i love them very much, cute things makes me happy but also i tend to joke about some uhh violence stuff like when my friend says someone said something hurtful to them and i'd just reply with "push them down the stairs. fuck them." so uh yeah that's it i suppose??? i've never done this before sorry ah congrats once again!!! i love your writing so much thank u

celebrate with me ✨

dude, seriously, are we the same person???????????? bc like. everything you said I was like SAME THATS ME. and I mean. sAME that's ME. u know. u sound like such a cool person!!!

can I like?? ship you with every bad batch member??? is that? allowed?

If I had to choose, I think I'd ship you with echo. i think. or tech? maybe with wrecker. or echo. no, cross. or hunter??? maybe fox. i think you'd do fantastic with fox tbh.

SKDJSK echo it is then<3

i think ur fave is crosshair? im not sure? but listen. LISTEN TO ME.

echo and you have the same vibes. i think you guys would have this small banter thingy going on all the time. teasing each other and giggling at your sass.

echo is usually seen as a grumpy, serious babey but he's a softie with a heart of gold, I just know it.

i think you would bring him that sense of normalcy and the same something(? he had back in his 501st days. he'd feel a bit more at home when you're around, a bit more like he didn't lost too much.

you kind of remind him of fives, and he has told you once or twice you would have been the bestest™ of friends.

you joke with him and you being annoying (affectionate) always makes him love you more. because he sees so much of his old days in you but also the new days to come, and because you give him this sense of- well, like things are going to be just fine.

you're his light in the dark, always guiding him somewhere nice, a piece of heaven that you hold in your hands and always find your way to place it in his own.

he'd def hear your rants and would laugh with you, giving you heart eyes as you speak or maybe listen to you as he works on whatever. and maybe you'd have a little bit of communication problems at first, with that not voicing what u want stuff, but he's a fast learner so he'd learn to read your eyes sometimes, when you feeling sad and stuff and you look at him he's in no time dragging you to his lap and hugging u tight, kissing ur temple and all.

he'd love when you draw doodles in his hands 🥺 and he'd draw a little something on yours too while you're bored in hyperspace.

I'd say echo shares your sense of humor, saying in the most serious voice "we should kill them." when someone says something neither of you like and there's this amused glint in his eyes. you follow his jokes with another stuff that makes everyone think you're psychopaths and end up laughing.

i think quality time is also his love language, adding little touches here and there.

it's in the silence, where you two show the most how much you love each other, in the warm looks and little smiles, sharing a blanket as you sit side by side and he leans a bit closer to you, he holds your hand sometimes, playing with it as you snuggle closer, your cheek on his shoulder.

you don't say much, eyes speaking for you and he kisses you softly, lips lasting a few seconds on yours before pulling apart slowly, he brushes your cheek with the back of his hand, leaning over again just to steal another kiss. you smile, and his expression mirrors yours.

"you good?" he asks, just to make sure you don't need anything. you nod, squeeze his hand with yours, sleepy eyes letting him know there's nothing you need but him.

he chuckles, a low sound that warms your heart, a kiss on your temple and there's something murmured in your hair. it's not long before you fall asleep just like that, holding hands and each other's hearts as you share warmth in the cold ship.

[miedei]

— the interview question tag game!

tagged by @atsuwiee !!

1. why did you choose your url?

mine has absolutely no story behind it 💀 i wanted a catchy nickname and so i took 'mie' from my name and 'dei' from the scottish word deil bc a friend taught it to me when i was like 5 and i think its a cool word

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them?

not yet! i might make a personal one later but right now it's just the one

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

im rlly new! i'm coming up on a month soon i think im not exactly sure

4. do you have a queue tag?

ooh not yet! i've been trying different ones but none of them really stuck yet

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i had an old one where i just read, and i decided to upgrade from my crappy wattpad acc and made miedei so i could start fresh with a writing acc!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

its so funny i never fail to laugh at it

7. why did you choose your header?

once again its so funny and it sums up my entire life rn so i figured i better let everyone know what they're working with

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

i think it's the jay drabble i wrote with the dhruv song? im really happy about that one i love his songs

9. how many mutuals do you have?

4ish? im shit at communication though so sorry if im really awkward!

10. how many followers do you have?

20-something? i'm pretty new so i think thats actually a lot more than i was expecting

11. how many people do you follow?

like 70 omg

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

not exactly? my rant tag is v full for how new my blog is but i'm not sure if that counts

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

not that much i dont think? i write most of my wips in google docs so i'm mostly here to interact with moots and read

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

no! im kind of looking forward to my first hate anon but i dont think id want to fight with a blog unless theyre a real asshole

15. how do you feel about 'you need to share this posts’?

depends, i usually do research them before sharing and most of them are legit so i'll reblog them, but some of them are complete bs and trying to guilt you into misinformation so i'm kind 50/50 on them some of them are important but others can be really hurtful or incorrect

16. do you like tag games?

yeah!! theyre so funn

17. do you like ask games?

these are fun too! i like to interact with anons on here please send in asks can you tell im desperate for some regular anons they look so fun

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@arteqmiss tin the tumblr queen

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

@atsuwiee bc tel is so swagger

tagging: @googoojeu @arteqmiss @bloom-bloom-pow if you guys haven't done it yet + anyone who wants to do it!

[pxrxmoore]

ohhhh anna’s lil tag game is very cute i love these questions! thank u @ashtcnirwin 🥰

feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!

1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction? asjdfk god it was atl fic on livejournal and mibba in like 2010 maybe?? idek but it was all slash fic like had literally not heard of reader insert until i joined the sos fam properly in 2018. also don’t remember what my reaction to it was?? reading slash fic has been so normal for me for like 10 yrs i dont know how the fcuk it started 😂 this was before i got tumblr but i used to keep up to date with some of the bigger atl blogs like it was the morning news or sumat and like 90% of them wrote amazing fic so 🤷‍♀️

2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)?

3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)? oh man, unfortunately i dont have my own place right now, but my room is full of plants and i also just spent half an hour looking at witchy occult cat figurines on amazon sooooo ig those are my vibes rn 😌 but i feel like it changes all the time tbh

4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen? paramore was the first band i was a massive fan of but i didnt rly get into the fandom ig i just was my own lil bubble of pmore. i had a massive kpop phase when i was like 13 and my fave band was UKiss - i joined a forum (cannot remember what it’s called rn) and met a few people thru that! i met this rly sweet girl and we used to message every day and we like designed our own merch ackskrkr so ig that must’ve been my first fandom! i also taught myself basic korean and this is gonna sound Very Weird but instead of like knowing celebs zodiac signs it was rly common to know blood types like it was kind of the same deal apparently ur blood type says a lot about ur personality ajxjkskf so i knew like kpop idols blood types ajsjjfjjcjfjjf ahhhhhh so wild

5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself? aries sun, leo moon, cancer rising - i am an absolute disgrace of an aries LMAO i do not fit my sun sign in the slightest its the complete opposite of me, leo is kinda similar tbh i feel like its kinda close to aries? so yeah i dont fit those at all. ig i kind of am more cancer bc im emotional as all hell LOL but yeah i never put a lot of thought into my signs for a rly long time bc i always felt they were a completely wrong description of me

6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world? i don’t write but uhhh i usually go for like hurt/comfort which??? ig i could relate to me LMAO how emo 😌 i’m not sure tbh, i deff don’t feel the characters i read reflect anything about me?? tbh i have never rly thought about this thats super interesting.... i feel like i love a good angsty fic but it has to have a happy ending asdksnidfg and im a pretty emo person but like ig im tryna be hopeful in the end?? so maybe?? yeah ig its how i would see the world!

7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life? holy shit uhhhhhhh man thts a tough one but idk if i wanna think about it in too much detail tbh 😌 ig recently i spoke to a dr about my mental health after years of pretending i wasnt depressed so 🤷‍♀️

8. what is your all time favourite song(s)? brighter by paramore - first song i fell in love with by them and ive been hooked ever since. before i listened to them i only listened to chart music lmfao literally had never listened to anything else and then after listening to paramore i started listening to rock/pop punk music and discovered all the bands that i listen to now!

9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between? hm ig recently ive realised its gotta be someone who has the same kinds views and values as me (i mean not down to a t but like generally the same kinda views and like respect for others u know) uhh someone i feel comfortable around to act my true chaotic self 😌✌️and also comfortable to know we can both talk about anything with no judgement no matter what it is. but also someone that respects like having seperate lives from each other? like not needing to be in each others pockets and knowing even if it’s been a lil while u can still message and it’s like no time has passed

10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines? ooh i mean in 2018 i was working an office job in engineering and had a moment of like wow ive always wanted to work in events and especially live music and ive wanted to since i was like 13 and here i am 10 years later still considering that as a potential career path so ig it means something pretty significant and i decided to leave my perm job last year and go temp but then. yeah. this year happened so 🥴🤷‍♀️

i tag: @superbloomirwin @kindahoping4forever @spookydaddycal @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @reveriesofawriter @mastasof-ravenkroft @rebelwith0utacause @karajaynetoday 💛

[jensonsbuttons]

SO. everything with 4 in it.

HAHAHA payback no no i get it its fine this is fine :)))) enjoy a ton of answers under the cut. Sorry it took me AGES to answer this but you know how it goes

(if anyone wants to still send me questions, here’s the list!! X )

4. Do you have a favourite racing film? - Ford V. Ferrari for sure!!! i love that movie so so much and the score absolutely helps me love it more.

14. Which was your first race you watched? -  so, the first race that i remember was Canada 2019 so HAHAHA yes. i watched seb switch the boards and thats what I distinctly remember. HOWEVER, the first race that I got into was Austria GP 2020 cause this was the first season that I cared about F1.

24. Is there a driver that you think gets an underserved amount of hate? - Lance Stroll no further questions.

34. Is there championship battle that you least enjoyed? - UHHHHH I mean I could not tell you cause again I have not paid attention that much. Like the first championship battles I’ve seen is this year so like....not much of a competition.  Once I watch more, I will let you know!!

40. Which podium made you happy the most?  - TURKEY GP 2020 THIS YEAR ITS SO GOOD. It made me so so happy to see Lewis, Checo and Seb up there. They all drove so so well and seeing Seb up there to help celebrate Lewis’ title too is just...great.

41. Which podium was your least favourite? - huh. I think the Russian GP 2020 because like...okay we’d gotten used to lewis and val and max being up there in some sort of way for a while. Then we got Monza! And even Muggello! But then all of a sudden we go crashing back to earth with our regular 3. So... idk its not a bad podium by any means! But for this season it was just like “oh yeah...right. This is how its supposed to be.” Not that we can’t have different podiums! But it was just cool to see new stuff but then like “oh yeah i remember these. guys” 

42. What was one of your personal highlights of F1? - well so i started the sport a while ago cause my dad has always watched it. But then, I watched. DTS and the rest is history. Like I actually paid attention then instead of just saying “oh cool Lewis won.” Anyway, my dad has always been a seb fan and so I’ve always had a big spot in my heart for him. Whenever this year started and the Ferrari was just...not great, I was kind of upset cause I was thinking “oh man. i won’t get to see the great Sebastian Vettel race like the pro he is this year.” I mean, they’re all pros but you get what I mean. So I think the best moment was again, Turkey just because I finally got to say thats it. That’s the Seb I know my dad has been raving about for the past ever. It was just really cool.

43. What was your highlight (or highlights of the season)? - Uh, well I thought this was similar to the last question but I guess not? We’ll go more driver highlights tho instead of my. highlight. Biggest highlights had to be Pierre’s win at Monza. I cried a lot that day. There’s just something about his story that makes him winning that much sweeter. I think also Daniel and Checo getting two podiums (and Checo winning) is VERY impressive and a highlight. Also!!!! Esteban got his first podium and thats huge!!! Lots more but those are the first ones I’ve got coming to me.

44. Where would you want to have a race? - Well, somewhere in the States cause I just wanna be able to get there!!! But, no, I’ve not really put a lot of thought into this. I guess I’d like to have one in the midwest just cause thats where I am but Colorado with the mountains in the background (so like around Denver) or actually in the mountains would be so so cool.

45. Where would you want to visit a race? - From next years calendar, Australia sounds cool but to be fair, I’ve always wanted to go there. As cliché as it is, I think Monaco would be cool but i’d be very over it very quickly ya know? Just cause i’d be like  “oh cool boats and fanfare!” And then like okay....what else is up. But I really do like street circuits so as long as its one of those, I feel like I’d enjoy!

46. Where wouldn’t you like to race anymore? - Barcelona. Please get it off the calendar. That or Sochi. Like... I’m so over those and I’ve only been in the sport for a shortened season.

47. Which of the circuits would you like to replace? - hmmm confused... thought i just answered this but uhhhh i guess replace will be Sochi. Replace it with uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk one of the new ones we had this year. Turkey was obviously good so go with that one.

48. What would your dream podium be? -  ooh....dream podium. Seb, Daniel and Pierre. Don’t ask why. It’s just a thing that I feel in my gut. 

49. What would be your ideal F1 team? Who would drive for it, who would be the team principle and so on? - I’ve already answered this one and it took a bunch of space so for the sake of keeping this somewhat short here’s the link to that one! 

54. Which was your favourite bromance line up? - Bromance line up or in general??? Bromance lineup though I’ll stick to George and Nicky. Nicky holding up the sign to stop taking shirtless pics just got me. (I know its this year and i could probably go another era but oh well)

64. Is there a ship that seems so weird but somehow just works for you? - hmmmm....I mean there are a bunch of weird ships but I don’t follow them!

74. Are there any F1 that you change your perspective on somethings? - looking at the questions around this, i think this means F1 blogs that change my perspective on things. All right this is a loaded question. Usually, no. There aren’t. Mainly because I follow the blogs that I have the same perspective as or our perspectives line up. So, no from that side of things. Now, thats for most of the “big issues” that you see everyone arguing in the tags over. Things like ships and other things... sure. @dansteban and @estebanoconz got me into liking Dansteban so my perspective changed on that just cause I’d never considered it. But otherwise, big topic issues I got nothing.

THANKS FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS IT WAS ACTUALLY FUN ONCE I REMEMBERED TO DO THEM

[dauntless-dragayn]

liveblogging She ra s3 reactions part 2

time for pain babay!

[ part one ┊ part two ]

episode 4

Oh Boy i can already feel the tonal shift

“The Moment of Truth” WHAT a title

Hordak youre assuming your general will give a fuck

CATRAS BACK

Entrapta: “Ooh you have a wip now?” THE ENTIRE FANDOM WHEN CLIPS WERE DROPPED

this isnt related to anything but Angela’s wings are so pretty 🤩

Oh shit Glimmer just called her out big time

The mural in the background of this scene is pretty

Adora needs a chance to fuck Hordak up and not just rant at him That was satisfying tho Her angry voice / growl, yunno?

no dont go to SHADOWBITCH for help

Why is she lounging in her ‘prison’ wtf

“Let me out.” Ive never heard of a WORSE idea

Uh oh Shadowbitch knows exactly how to appeal to Glimmer

NO

Tag yourself im Bow shaking his head in the background

Oh finally Entrapta finds out the truth, this has bothered me for a while

“Catra was my friend too, but she makes bad decisions!” okay honestly this is a little too relatable - having to watch your friends fuck up their own life because they wont listen to you or reason

YEAHH PRINCESS SQUAD

Mermista telling Shadowbitch to shut the fuck up is iconic

Angela flying through the hallways :0

Fuck im worried about this I dont trust Shadowbitch

Wait “her”? Froggo person is a her? Aiight

I see the Princesses are now occupied and wont be in the way during thematically relevant scenes

CATRA 

BOW!! NO DONT LEAVE HIM BEHIND

i dont like.. Glimmer and Shadowbitch working together but I must admit theyre a force to be reckoned with

I do feel bad for Catra tho The last thing she needs is more lies from Shadowbitch

This connection is hurting Glimmer!! >:U

CATRA SHOVING SCORPIA ASIDE JFC

Catra unhinging, thats what we’re watching

The significance of Catra using a taser rn is that thats what she uses to tase Adora when she first defects

So i guess that Catastrophic Event just happened huh

episode 5

wh.. what

HUH?

bitch you did not dream that shit things are NOT perfect

But at the same time its.. so nice to see Catra and Adora getting along

Their flirting .. 💕

“Do you have a concussion or something?” or something..

 Lonnie’s voice is so cute ive forgotten omg

“I cant believe you like me, thats so embarrassing for you!” AHH SKDNFJ CUTE

This is like. Fanfic material

Too good to be true tho and also too terrible bc Adora is still trapped in the Horde

Does Regelio just never talk I love them

Shadowbitch treating Catra well? Them not hating each other??? Fake news 

“Everything is perfect.” Theres that phrase again

IS THIS FORCE CAPTAIN ORIENTATION

“I do not. Like you.” AT LEAST SCORPIA IS HONEST

“And what kind of name is Adora anyway?” KEHFJFJ IM PRETTY SURE THATS THE FIRST IN-SHOW ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF IT

Who tf is this lizard person with hair in the background

Adora is remembering shit!

this would be so scary i feel rlly bad for Adora

Dissociation be like-

“Everything’s perfect.” STOP SAYING THAT

“Everything will be perfect as long as we stay together.” :(((

This is INSANE

“Its like time and space arent working right” you dont say..

Why is Scorpia the only other person to act like they remember? Besides Catra in that one moment ,,?

“Just go with it okay?” Yeah like thats what youve been doing..

Gonna reiterate: this is insane!

Hahaha Adora and Catra are alone in a closet kiss- Sorry this is all just So Much i needed to break the tension

ADORA JUST TASERED CATRA I- I mean Payback i suppose

She took her with her to the woods aw

“As much as I wish things could be the way they used to be, we can’t go back!” hey im Feeling things

“Dont you get it? Im NEVER going with you!”

FUCK 

softly but with lots of emotion: fuck

Why does this old witch lady function in the au

“This happened before with Mara!” o- oh.

Im so confused

This is intense as all fuck “Bow and Glimmer! I need to find them!” love will save the world

CATRA IS ALIVE?! Catra is.. oh god. Oh what the fuck

episode 6

Oh Glimmer and her mom getting along.. havent seen that in a while

OH HE GLIMMER’S DAD IS ALIVE IN THIS WORLD?? OHHHHH

Bow is.. scholarly

Well at least theyre still friends

“Woah you look different than your mural..” lol

Where do I recognize Micah’s voice from??

EKDHFJ THEY STILL DONT HAVE A PRISON IN THIS AU

Glimmer’s outfit is a little different and I dont like it

Adora talking up her friends to prove she knows them is everything

BOW GRABS HIS SHIRT WHEN HE SAYS “THIS ISNT RIGHT”

okay Angela looks fierce as fuck here

How.. lucky that they just warped to Entrapta’s side

Trapped between realities.. uh oh

Whos gonna die in the portal

“That portal is centered on you!” FUCK?

MARA IN THE FLESH KINDA

ADORA CANT SACriFICE HERSELF BITCH

her friends monologuing about her- BEFORE THEY DISAPPEAR I- //WIPES TEAR

i was LITERALLY about to say ‘where’s Catra. this is the perfect time for her to show up.’ Lol. I was right!

HEY ADORA demon version 😬

Catra this is all YOUR fault fuckin hoe

All their past battle spots..

THIS IS INSANE

“I didnt break the world. But I am gonna fix it. You made your choice. Now live with it!” i have. no words

watching Catra disappear still hurt me .

.. ANGELA! Wait Wait Angela No

She cant go

Glimmer would be an orphan

“And now I chose to be brave. Take care of each other.” Im not crying you are Im not crying Adora is I am

That glare at Catra, holy shit

Glimmer didnt even get to say goodbye to her mother. Their last talk was a fight.

Bow pickin up Glimmer!

im gonna cry AGAIN

//whispering/ does that mean Glimmer is queen?

Oh fuck Big Baddie found Etheria

FUCK!

FUCK ME UP.

I was not prepared for this at all

anyway UH. if any of yall wanna yell with me feel free to respond or send an ask or a message or whatever. lets suffer together

[idreamofwolves]

Old Times -Part One

Summary: Negan stumbles upon a familiar face from life before the end of the world.

Pairing: Negan (The Walking Dead) x OC

The dead walk the earth, the living survive on nothing but fuel in the form of safe houses and scraps of food they find or hunt. It wasn’t the way Emily ever thought things would be, or anyone for that matter, but there she was, hiding out in some old, abandoned cottage in the middle of the woods. She thought this would be her safe place, somewhere she could feel comfortable sleeping without the fear of being eaten by walkers in her sleep. She was wrong.

Emily had woken in the middle of the night to the sound of pounding on her front door that she’d hardly reinforced given her false sense of safety. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two came when fear started to override rational thought. Instead of running for weapons when the door cracked open, she attempted to hide herself in a small closet.

As the dead drug their feet in, they became frantic, or as frantic as the dead could be, in search for the living flesh they smelled and craved. Her hands shook and tears ran down her face. “This is it. This is how it’s going to end.” She thought, feeling more hopeless than ever.

Just when she had given up all hope, she heard something that would change the course of her awful night. The croaking sounds of walkers dying tang through the cottage, making her perk up and wonder what on earth was going on out there.

When the sounds of smashing and crushing finally came to a close, foot steps could be heard around the area. It seemed like only one person, but Emily couldn’t imagine a scenario where one person could kill so many walkers. And although it was against her better judgement, she slowly and quietly crawled out of the closet. She gasped as she was quickly met with the rotting face in hers. She threw herself into her back and took in the bloody scene around her.

Just as she started to get overwhelmed, a figure in the doorway took her attention. “Ho-ly shit!” The man exclaimed, oddly amused somehow. A barbed wire covered bat was sling over his shoulder, dripping with blood. He seemed unfazed by this. “We got a live one.”

“You did this?” She asked, not sure what she was more horrified by, the graveyard around her or the man above her that caused it without a flinch.

“Yeah and saved your ass in doing so.” He chuckled as he rest back on his heel. “What’s your name, doll?” The room was dark and she couldn’t see much, but she recognized that voice from somewhere.

“Emily.” She answered without thought, his demeanor and authoritative stance made her feel afraid, but he’d just saved her life. She couldn’t be anything less than grateful. “Thank you, for this.”

“Emily.. Have we met?” She was taken aback by the question, but upon really looking at him, she realized he was right. They’d met before, long before the outbreak.

“Negan?” She answered, trying to hold back a smile. She stood up and brushed herself off quickly before going back to the conversation. “You’re alive? What are you doing here?” She hurried to him and hugged him out of a rush of relief and joy.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He hugged her back, almost dropping his beloved bar in the process. His smile was still there, but it wasn’t the normal, cocky grin he often wore. He was shocked to find someone from his old life, relieved even. It suddenly made him miss the old days.

They’d met long before the outbreak, looking at her was like looking into the past, into a place he dearly missed when he let himself think about it.

He pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. He looked almost just as he did the last time he saw her, except maybe more muscular now. “I haven’t seen you since..” she trailed off, remembering exactly when she saw him last but didn’t want to say.

“Since the bar.” He finished, and in the back of both of their minds they remembered their first and last meetings.

Negan’s wife, Lucille, was harsh and demanding and every part of him felt his marriage had failed. They fought so often that he barely knew what it was like to laugh with a woman anymore, until he met Emily. He’d often go to the bar to get out for a while and let things cool off at home. That’s where he met her.

She was shy and new to bar tending, she wasn’t cut out for it but she was pretty and men tipped well. It wasn’t what she really wanted to do in life, but it paid the bills.

It was a slow night when Emily came into work. It was the last shift, and a short one at that. She was ready to go home as soon as she came, until she noticed the tired looking man at the end of the bar. A few others lingered as they sipped their drinks, but it was him she was interested in. “Hey.” She smiled as she gained his attention. “You okay?”

“Doin’ great doll.” It seemed like he’d actually meant to sound more honest, but it came out sarcastic. “Mind filling this up?” He slid his glass over to her, and motioned toward the nearby bottle of whiskey.

She lowly watched him as she poured the whiskey. She slid his glass back and checked on the other bar dwellers. After a few moments of contemplation, she went back to him. “Want to talk about it?” She pried, making him chuckle.

“That obvious, huh?” He rubbed his eyes with his hand and took a deep breath. “Think I’m here for the same reason most of these lonely, alcoholic bastards are here for. Angry wife.”

“Ooh. That bad, huh?” She rested her elbows on the bar and sipped on her soda. “By the look on your face, I’m guessing it’s one of two things. This is your first big fight with a wife you’re crazy in love with, which I’m going to doubt since I’ve seen you here once or twice, or this is becoming so common that you don’t know what to do anymore. Am I close?” She found it easy to talk with him, despite her normal reserved nature.

“Spot on, sweetheart.” He chuckled and sipped his drink, looking confident but deep down she knew he was feeling down.

“It’s Emily.” She smiled and lightly tapped her name tag. She got a smile out of him, which was really all she wanted.

“Negan.”

From that moment on, they bonded over broken relationships and their off sense of humor. It was an unexpected friendship laced with some kind of flirtatious nature, as time went on.

Negan quickly became attached to Emily, as he was able to use her as therapist and friend. She reminded him how to laugh, and she helped him forget about the rest of the world outside of the bar. And although the friendship was innocent enough, he knew himself enough to know he had feelings for her.

Emily, on the other hand, was incredibly oblivious to Negan’s flirting. She saw it as a joke most of the time, just friends kidding around, even if it did make her heart beat out of her chest. He wasn’t someone she ever imagined she’d want to be with, but she couldn’t help but imagine it at times. She found safety in him, as he was always there to ward off the seemingly sexual predators that frequented the bar now and then who always wanted more than a drink from her. She found solace in him, knowing she could vent if she needed to and ask for his opinion. He was honest and caring, something rare, she thought.

The last time Negan saw Emily, he knew it would be the last. The news of Lucille’s cancer made things hard for him, and he knew he couldn’t keep seeing this girl anymore. As much as it hurt him, he knew he had to let her go.

He walked into the bar, his composure slightly different than normal. His confident stride and cocky smirk had completely vanished. “Hey you.” Emily greeted him as he took his normal seat. He mumbles out some sort of greeting, but it was incomprehensible. “What’s up buttercup? Bad day?” She asked, thinking he and Lucille must have gotten into some kind of major fight.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Definitely a bad day.”

Emily frowned, she hated seeing him upset. “Whiskey kind of day, huh?” She poured him a drink but he put his hand out to stop her.

“Look sweetheart, I’m not staying today. I just wanted to drop in and give ya this.” He dropped a folder note down on the bar for her to read. He didn’t have the courage to tell her what he desperately needed to say, especially knowing it wouldn’t get him anywhere anyway.

Emily picked up the letter and looked him in his sad eyes, somehow knowing she wouldn’t see him again. “What’s this?” She asked, not really wanting to open it.

He sighed and looked away for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. “Read it later, okay? Lucille’s got cancer so I won’t be around much anymore. Just thought I’d say ‘bye’ to my favorite bar tender.” He tried to make it light, but this didn’t feel good for him, it felt like a break up.

“Oh. I’m so sorry to hear that.” She nodded, squeezing the paper in her hand. “Well I hope I see you around some time, Negan.” She forced a smile, even though no part of her felt like smiling.

“Me too, princess.” He walked out, feeling more broken than he ever had. It was hard, knowing she was about to find out what he’d been feeling, and not being able to do anything about it. Not to mention the guilt he started to feel about having feelings for another woman while he was married.

It was tough on the both of them, but they never saw each other again. Not before the outbreak, that is.

“Yeah. The bar.” She said, slowly. She didn’t want to remember that night, but she still had his note. She carried it with her the moment she’d been forced to flee her home, knowing it was all she had left of him and the old life she’d lived.

“I’m real sorry about that Em.” He started, but she didn’t want him to finish.

“How’s Lucille? Is she-“

“Dead.” He said, abruptly. “She died while all the shit started hitting the fan. Turned into one of them.” He shrugged, feeling a little defeated. He hadn’t really talked about it before, but he knew he could trust her.

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” She hadn’t expected that answer, somehow.

“Don’t be. I’m glad she didn’t have to deal with this shit show.” He motioned around them, and she knew where he was coming from. Part of her wished she never had to deal with it too, but the other option scared her more.

“Right.” She nodded and looked out the window. She felt nervous, never did she think this opportunity would come. Honestly she figured he was dead. “So what are you doing here? On the run?”

“Never.” He said, confidently. “I run a place called The Sanctuary. It’s an old compound we fenced in. We take in everyone we can, make deals with other communities, you know.”

“Thats sounds amazing. I’ve been on my own since this started. Somehow I’m still not any good at fighting these things.” She laughed, knowing her weaknesses.

“How the hell have you been living in this without fighting?” He asked, semi amused but mostly worried.

“I just go from house to house. I board everything up and live on the food and stuff there until it runs out, then I venture off to a new home.” She wasn’t proud of the way she’d been living, and honestly she had very little contact with anyone since the beginning. It was amazing to her not only seeing someone, but seeing someone she knew.

“Come on, come to The Sanctuary with me. We got food and hot water, even beer.” The offer was enough without the luxuries he’d mentioned. She realized she still had feelings for him, and she wondered if he still felt the way he said he did in the letter. There was only one way for her to find out.

“I’d love to, thank you.”

[sukisdeliveryservice]

helloo! how was your day milady? its always a pleasure reading your replies too! <333 and i hope you'll enjoy your hiatus :))

also idk i just find parrots rly pretty, and the way the supposedly repeat stuff you say is rly endearing too djhdjfhfb in all honesty, im pretty new to the whole baking thing, but i love making cookies :D they always smell so lovely djfjdjdj i'd love to explore and make more stuff!

you do digital drawing? :o id love to see something! only if you're comfortable sharing though ofc <3

mmm i haven't watched alot of tv shows really tbh. my favourite and the only one im invested in atm is friends, ive watched alittle of modern family and how i met your mother, but that's pretty much it ig jdndjdj

as for movies, i love the greatest showman! it hits a bit too close to home but i always love the goosebumps i get whenever i watch it :) next would be thor ragnorok, which ive mentioned before djjdjs but its just really funny and love it sm, and it was loki's turning point so bonus marks. black widow is also a new favourite <333 though i felt terrible when they were being tortured as kids, but it really showed a new perspective on natasha and her past. i also really like the notebook! everything was so sweet it rly nearly brought me to tears jsbdjdjjsh and finally the shawshank redemption! it was something i didn't rly think i would like, but i was really pleasantly surprised lmao. everything was pretty depressing but it also kinda blew my mind away :D

for songs, my no.1 song rn is nct dream's irreplaceable, idk why exactly but i love that song. i also have a thing for songs that are similar genres to baekhyun's un village, nct jaehyun's try again and jungkook's still with you, so those are three more though im not really sure if they're really the same genre anyways and its been almost a year now and i still cant get over how nct 127's boom makes me feel 💕

hmm for fics, i dont really remember everything i read, but i absolutely loved your ceo cheol fic 🥺 it was so cute and the way reader and cheol work perfectly together T-T most of the time fics like these consist of cold bosses who only show a little warmth to the reader, but cheol was so sweet throughout everything it just made everything so much more adorable and endearing. i really really loved it :'D <333

what are your top 5 of these? and also for the next question, have you ever

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally? (yes im asking for recs)

- 💎 anon who loves you lots!! <333

milady?? heh you sound like chat noir from miraculous ladybug (my guilty non guilty pleasure show) i was thinking carefully about these answers thats why it took so long!! i'm going to go to bed after this is posted hehe this is gonna be a long reply so take all the time you need to answer pfft- my day has been lovely thanks to this ask by the way!!

yeah i'd love to show you something!! there were a couple burried in my rambling tags but when we're allowed to turn off anon i'd love to show you!! do you have discord btw?? it might be easier to talk on there afterwards!!

ooh how i met your mother is probably my favourite sitcom!! maybe that and b99. its pretty long and the ending was erm...not good imo but i still think the long length was worth finishing!!

the movies you picked are lovely anon!! i am also a fan of the greatest showman since i am also a big fan of musicals!! it was pretty fast paced but overall the grandeur and visuals of it stunned me and the sountrack is amazing!! i haven't watched black widow but hopefully soon!! and i dont usually watch a lot of western films but i really want to check out the notebook as well!!

ahh your music taste is also exquisite!! so im guessing you're more into like soft pop/rnb kinds of songs!! i definitely listen to baekhyun's music before sleeping since his vocals really suit soothing songs. i really need to check out more of nct's music - hello future was really good!!

OMG ANON YOU READ MY CHEOL FIC??? i was so unsure about that one but it makes my heart squeeze that you read all of it and liked it :'D

okie so my top 5 (no particular order) i'm probably forgetting a few

tv shows - 1. HUGE atla fan!! i even liked legend of korra even though some poeple didn't 2. how i met your mother 3. horimiya 4. extraordinary you 5. yona of the dawn

movies - 1. your name 2. big hero 6 3. tangled 4. weathering with you 5. from up on poppy hill - literally any ghibli i've watched

books (sorry lots of these are manga) - 1. fruits basket 2. haikyuu!! 3. SNOW WHITE WITH THE RED HAIR (IT'S MY FAVOURITE EVERYTHING) 4. to all the boys i've loved before (it's very different from the movies) 5. i don't mean to bring up percy jackson since it's been years but those books are still everything to me

songs - 1. eight (iu, suga) 2. all my love (svt) 3. kidult (svt) 4. dandelions (ruth b) 5. somehow (day6)

thank you for asking anon! i loved listing these out! next to the never have i ever!!

been to a concert? NEVER!! waiting for svt to come to canada, they didn't list canada for ode to you :(((

sneaked out from your house? NEVER i've sneaked people into my house...

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase? I HAVE! bts but it was only for like a month before i fell in love with 13 men...

had a crush? soobin duh i'm beginning to realize now that maybe i've been more in love with the idea of love instead of harbouring genuine feelings // NEVER!!

had a pet? I HAVE!! multiple fishes...rip

performed in front of a crowd? I HAVE!! i've played the drums during school concerts and during a competition a few years back!!

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

for this last one i'm going to tie it in into my top 5 fics of all time!! (with mini reviews!!) i should make a masterlist of my recs honestly - when i compile all of my favourites i think that's when i've be brave enough to tag the writers fjdshfdkj

out of touch, out of time by @/by-moonflower // i read this months ago and my heart literally still sinks whenever it even crosses my mind. i don't think i've ever been so emotionally impacted by a fic before and this is my go to rec for anyone who wants to FEEL something. i don't wanna go in depth as to spoil it, so i'll just leave it at that for now.

outlasting the universe by @/by-moonflower // you know what i'm just gonna link their entire masterlist because all of their works (even the short drabbles) are just literary masterpieces. the way they write makes you feel so alive?? and everything just speaks for itself and is so authentic. they make you feel like you're wandering amidst a ghibli film, periof. authentic is the best word i can use to describe their work and this fic is just the definition of beautiful.

bluff and nonsense by @/thepixelelf // THIS FIC. it's my go to rec overall. it was so memorable had such good flow and just genuinely so genuine?? i have no other words to describe it, it's just so ,,, lovely. the plot takes you on a journey and it's woven together so seamlessly.

in a span of three months by @/viastro // i won't be surpprised if you've read this one already because this author is a true staple in the carat writing community and honestly all of their works are simple timeless. this one really hit the mark for the me the most though and i finished it all in one sitting.

wish by @chocosvt // goodness i'm a fan of hoshi fics aren't i? this one was also really memorable for me and i have read it several times!! friends to lovers but they really made the trope their own and added lots of twists and tadbits that gave it so much charm!! i would also rec this as a starter fic for svt :))

phew thank you for reading all of that anon, i really appreicate you taking the time to write such love responses and questions. now i'd like to know your answers for the same questions ,,, have you ever:

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

to add on:

been to a place/been in a particular mood after a specific event that you wanted to stay in forever?

written a piece of work that sparked energy within your fingertips!!

met a person/have someone in your life who you now just treasure so deeply?

this is getting super long we need to reveal our identities soon fkdsfkjlds

[booperdooperladdies]

Tagged by: @the-ass-assin thank you hun

Rules: Answer the following truthfully!

Name: Bethan

Nicknames: Booth, Beth - i dunno i dont get that many nicknames haha sorry

Sign: Aquarius

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Orientation: Straight (sorry if that offended anyone) i dont see myself as bi that much that may be me so i thought i put this

Ethnicity: White

Favourite Fruit: Grapes

Favourite Season: Autumn, not too warm and not too cold and i love how the leaves turn nice colours and nice clothes tend to come out...Also...SWEATSHIRTS!!

Favourite book series: I dont tend to read much maybe just the harry potter series.

Favourite fictional characters: Ooh tough, Trico is one (even hes an animal), Junkrat, Evie Frye (Assasins Creed)

Favourite Flower: Roses all the way like the traditionalist i am haha

Favourite scents: Strawberry sometimes but maybe lavender

Favourite colours: Black, dark green, light blue and red

Favourite animal: Wolves/tigers

Favourite Artist/ Bands: BEST QUESTION! Ashestoangels, Black Veil Brides, NateWantsToBattle, Linkin Park

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Cocoa: Coffee. Hot Chocolate!!.

Average Sleep: around 6-10 hours

Number of blankets I sleep with: One

Dream Trip: I’ve always wanted to travel, and see the world, and I’ve wanted to visit Italy since I was, like, 6 years old, and I still really do! But lately all I can think about is a road trip across the United States. Maybe by myself, or with a friend or two. We wouldn’t have any set plans, we would just go and see where the trip takes us. I’d love to stop in little towns and see what there is to do around there. Maybe spend a day or two there, and try a bunch of new things. I’d hope to find some cool abandoned places to explore along the way if we can. We’d play music all the time and just drive and see where we end up. That’s the dream, anyway. (Sorry this is a longer response… I daydream about this a lot)

Last thing you googled: Screen printing (I was doing media coursework)

How many blogs I follow: Tried looking but cannot find it, I’m sure i follow quite a lot of blog on here

Number of Followers: 424, thats insane wtf!! THANK YOU ALL!!

What I usually post about: Mainly Jacksepticeye stuff (sorry if i spam you) as well as some markiplier stuff...idk anything i like or looks cool

What is your aesthetic: Never thought about that much but idk im more of an alternative person with my music and how i dress like all in black and i tend to like flannel kind of thing with some likeness for galaxy designed stuff.

I tag: WHOEVER WANTS TO DO IT but incase: @t-swizzle1234 @nightfuryobsessed @speedywheelz @jacksepticeye-bossatronio

[eligile]

i was tagged by @futuristicallysizzlingartisan, thanks~

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 ppl you want to know better

THE LAST :

1. Drink: sweet tea 2. Phone call: my little sister asking me to pick her up from work 3. Text message: the vice president of my school organization 4. Song you listened to: how can i say? - day6 (on repeat!) 5. Time you cried: i mightve shed a few tears last night when i saw that dreamcatcher is having a comeback 6. Dated someone twice: lol no relationship 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no unless my cat accepting my sister instead of me as his mother counts 9. Lost someone special: my grandmother died a few years ago 10. Been depressed: at some points yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet but im turning 21 next week so we’ll see ;)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS : 

12-14: red thats not too bright, some form of blue, and black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU :

15. Made new friends: yup

16. Fallen out of love: um i guess you could say that. “out of sight, out of mind” 17. Laughed until you cried: ahaha yeah of course 18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah? 19. Met someone who changed you: i dont think so 20. Found out who your friends are: i already knew? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

GENERAL :

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: personally, very few, but i vaguely know most of them from like high school 23. Do you have any pets: yes! a dog and a cat. i would also have a bird (cockatiel, conure, or some other kind of parrot possibly), snake, turtle, and rabbit if my mom would let me 24. Do you want to change your name: no 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i dont remember. probably ate cake at home with my family 26. What time did you wake up: 8:22am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: surfing the web before heading to bed

28. Name something you can’t wait for: my 21st birthday~ also the end of my classes this summer 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: before i left this morning around 9:40 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: that i could easily talk to other people like outgoing people do 31. What are you listening right now: sounds of people talking 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i dont believe so 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: PEOPLE WHO DONT USE THEIR BLINKER WHEN THEYRE CHANGING LANES 34. Most visited Website: onehallyu, youtube, twitter 35. Elementary: yes 36. High School: yes

37. College: in process of undergrad

38. Haircolor: dark brown thats lighter towards the ends 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: actually i dont think i do at the moment 41. What do you like about yourself: im totally okay with presenting in front of people 42. Piercings: two on each ear 43. Bloodtype: O+ yep im boring 44. Nickname: jas 45. Relationship status: single 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: the golden girls 49. Tattoos: no but i want some. of my cat or maybe a song title/lyric 50. Right or left: im right handed but for some reason i prefer the left side of things 51. Surgery: no 52. Piercing: *check #42 53. Sport: i went through a tennis phase in middle school because of prince of tennis 55. Vacation: ive been to the philippines a lot but i want to take an extended stay in south korea and japan. ive been to both places for like a day each 56. Pair of trainers: ooh i just bought new shoes but i dont know the brand

MORE GENERAL : 57. Eating: i like. but if its with people i dont know very well i get nervous so i dont eat as much 58. Drinking: currently half tea/half lemonade which i actually hate but took just to be polite bc it was given to me 59. I’m about to: study for my orgo chem exam on tuesday 61. Waiting for: dreamcatcher to come to america 62. Want: to move out so i can get all the pets i want 63. Get married: possibly 64. Career: something in forensics but not sure what exactly

WHICH IS BETTER : 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs. especially back hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes. i really like my own and people compliment me on them a lot so i notice them on other people 67. Shorter or taller: taller (which is not me...) 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both! 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive loudness 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: dont be too hesitant that you cant do anything. but dont be a jerk and get arrested either

HAVE YOU EVER : 74. Kissed a stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: yes i prefer it over wine and beer 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes 77. Turned someone down: yeah that was awkward 78. Sex in the first date: ha no 79. Broken someones heart: if i did when ive turned someone down 80. Had your heart broken: in a way 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: hm no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN : 84. Yourself: in general yes 85. Miracles: not entirely 86. Love at first sight: nahh 87. Santa Claus: hell no i was played one christmas, i made santa money for santa and i found the bills in my parents’ drawer a while later. i am bitter af 88. Kiss in the first date: sure 89. Angels: no?

OTHER : 90. Current best friends name: aiden (thats my dog) 91. Eye color: hazel 92. Favorite movie: fried green tomatoes?

I am tagging @taekeyxx, @pristindream, @12moonas, @my6gfriends

[homosexualhufflepuff]

i was tagged by @cuddlyjongin literally like a year ago maybe?? found this in my drafts and i was like ok sounds like fun

1. LAST TEXT SENT: I texted my boss that i won’t be going on vacation with my family this summer hahah 2. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: umm thats so hard but like yellow, grey and blue idk?? 3. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: ten am i think 4.WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT AT MIDNIGHT: driving home after hanging out with friends :’’) 5. NAME SOMETHING YOU CANT WAIT FOR: hmmm i guess living alone and hopefully being able to work as a musician if that works out 6. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOTHER: about three hours ago when she came to my room to say goodnight aaaa luv u mum<33 7. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LIFE: ooh thats tough, no idea tbh??? life is pretty good atm 8. WHATS GETTING ON YOUR NERVS RN: the slight headache im starting to get :((/(/ 9. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: ?¿?¿+? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 10. FAVORITE TV SHOW: oooh uh skam, oitnb, sense8 and steven universe were the first that came to mind 11. FIRST BEST FRIEND: hmmm probably Ami when we were like 10-12 i miss her :///( 12. LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: london grammar yass 13. 3 FEARS: the ocean, spiders and failure lmao 14. 4 TURN ON’S: cute butt, nice hair, cute laugh and being funny (this is all v generic but come on its tru) 15. 4 TURN OFF’S: being rude, disrespectful towards people, hateful towards people and mean to animals 16. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: g a y 17. MY SENIOR QUOTE IN MY YEARBOOK: that’s not a thing in sweden lol 18. FIRST THING I NOTICE IN A NEW PERSON: their smile maybe 19. SHOE SIZE: about 42 20. EYE COLOR: v dark brown 21. HAIR COLOR: (dark) blond 22. FAVORITE CLOTHING ITEM: hmmm maybe one of my soft sweaters 23. WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR I’M WEARING RIGHT NOW: dark blue 24. ULTIMATE BIAS: 25. ULTIMATE BIAS GROUP: 26. FAVORITE SEASON: autumn i think 27. HOW MUCH TIME I SPENT ON DESIGNING MY BLOG PAGE: literally haven’t touched it in 2 years 28. THE REASON I JOINED TUMBLR: i think my friend showed me but i don't remember exactly 29. LAST BOOK I READ: currently reading “goodnight mister tom” it’s probably my favourite book (apart from hp) 30. DO I EVER GET “GOOD MORNING” OR “GOODNIGHT” TEXTS?: yes but we don’t actually say good morning lol 31. WHEN DID I LAST HOLD HANDS?: this morning mmm m<32 32. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE ME TO GET READY IN THE MORNING?: like an hour?? 33. HAVE I SHAVED MY LEGS IN THE PAST 3 DAYS?: no lol 34. WHERE AM I RIGHT NOW?: my bed <3 35. DO I LIKE MUSIC LOUD OR LOW: not too loud but not actually low? 36. 3 THINGS I LOVE: music, my mum and dogs 37. HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW: tired and a lil stressed 

38. SOMETHING I REALLY, REALLY WANT: more cuddles  39. 3 THINGS THAT UPSET ME: people who are mean to animals, feeling like im not appreciated and when people don’t listen to what i have to say 40. WHAT I FIND ATTRACTIVE IN OTHER PEOPLE: woah too much to make a list, pretty eyes and lips i guess 41. 3 HABITS I HAVE: getting anxious over everything, drumming on my phone and biting my lips 42. SOMETHING I FANTASIZE ABOUT: life :) 43. MY OTPs: idk ?¿ 44. SOMETHING IM TALENTED AT: doing music™ 45. THE BLOG I GIVE MOST NOTES TO: no idea 46. THE LAST PERSON THAT RE-BLOGGED FROM ME: idek 47. DO I SMOKE/DRINK?: nah not really 48. MY FAVORITE FOOD: i just really love vegetables so stuff like stir fry, curries, ratatouille <33  49. MY FAVORITE DESSERT: ice cream??? or maybe cheesecake mm 50. WHAT I DID YESTERDAY: i did an application test/interview thingy for music school aaaaaa also hung out with friends and cuddled 51. NUMBER OF KIDS I WANT: one or two 52. NUMBER OF SIBLINGS I HAVE: one asshole brother 53. SOMETHING THATS CONSTANTLY ON MY MIND: school and music 54. LAST PERSON I MESSAGED ON TUMBLR: @singlemomsforfree​ 55. CAN I DRIVE: yeh love driving  56. WHAT STATE OR PART OF THE WORLD DO I LIVE IN: sweden 57. AM I IN SCHOOL?: for like 3 more weeks oanfoiadnfodf 58. DO I GET GROSSED OUT EASILY?: depends, kind of? 59. SOMEWHERE I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT FOR A WEEK: i d e k  i want to go to so many places 60. I’LL LOVE YOU IF…: you show me photos of ur pet!!!! 61. LAST SHOW I BINGE-WATCHED: umm stranger things maybe? i don’t binge that much 62. WHAT WORDS UPSET ME THE MOST: “öh” my brother’s way of communicating with me 63. WHAT WORDS MAKE ME FEEL THE BEST ABOUT MYSELF: no idea? 64. A WISH THAT I’VE WISHED FOR REPEATEDLY ON 11:11: i don’t really do that 65. WHO I WOULD SWITCH LIVES WITH FOR A DAY: umm idk a cat maybe 66. MY FAVORITE ICE CREAM: magnum strawberry white maybe??? do u have that outside of sweden 67. ALLERGIES: im sensitive to kiwi and pineapple 68. SEXIEST PERSON TO COME TO YOUR MIND IMMEDIATELY: um idk 69. MY CHILDHOOD CARRER CHOICE: musician i think??? 70. ONE OF MY INSECURITIES: my voice 71. HOW MANY BLOGS AM I FOLLOWING: like 350 i think 72. HOW MANY TABS/DIFFERENT WINDOWS ATM: three 73. COKE OR PEPSI: neither tbh but coke if i had to choose 74. TEA OR COFFEE: tea <3 75. MOVIE OR BOOK: i love books so much ok 76. A SENSE I WOULD BE WILLING TO LOSE: i immediately thought between hearing and vision but smell feels like the least devastating lol 77. QUOTE I LIVE BY: idek 78. TYPE OF ACCESSORIES I WEAR THE MOST: i wear a belt every day lol 79. LAST AWKWARD SITUATION I FOUND MYSELF IN: i walked into the same guys twice in the grocery store yesterday 80. WHAT TIME IS IT RIGHT NOW: 01:16 fuck i need to sleep 81. A SONG THAT’S MADE ME CRY: save myself i love that song so much 82: FIRST SONG I EVER SANG AT KARAOKE: no clue

im tagging @singlemomsforfree and @adeliciousdonut !!!!

[valkyriessword]

civ;l wa r

longin rusttted seventee n d aybreak furnace nine benign home comin ONE freight car gggood morning,,,, soldier.... read y to comply... i h ave a mission for you.. saunction and extract..... no witness es...... well doone soldier.... alll RIGHT, what do u see???? standard beoat cops..... small station..... quiet stttreet... its a good target.... theres an atm oon the south corn er,,, which means??? camerrrais.... both CROSS streets are one-wa y.... so,,,, compromised escape routes.... means ouir guy doesn;;;t caure about bein seen... heo isn;;t afraid to make a me ss on the way ouet..... u see that range rover halfway up the bblock???? yeah,,,, the red one???? it;s cute..... its also bulletproof,,,, which means privateo security............. wh ich means more guns,, whicch means more headaches fffor somebody..... probably us.. u guys know i can mo ve things wwwith my mindd, rioght?? lookin ovver your shoulderrr needs to beccome second nature...... anybody ever ttell u yoiure a l ittle pairanoid???? NOT to my face.... why?????? di d u hear something?? eyeas on target,,,, folllks... this is THE best lead we;;ve had on rum low in six months..... i don;;t want to lose him..... if he SEES us coming,,,, that wont be a prob lem.... he kind of hates us... sam............. see that garrrbage trrruc k???? tag ittt.. give me x-raoy.... that truck;;sss loade d for max weight..... and the driver;s armed... it;;;s a batterin ram.. - go now... - what????? he;s not hiittin the police..... body armour,, ar-15s..... i make seven HOSTILES. i makkke five.... SAM. four..... r umlows onn the thhird floor... wanda,,, just like we practissead..... what about the gas??? get it outtt.... pack it up.... he;;;s heirei..... ruimlow has a bioological weapon.. i;;;m on it..... i dont work like that no more.... fire in the hole.... no!!! sam.. he;;;s in an afv headin north... take this to the airstrip.... wwwe;;;re not gonna outrun them... lose the truck...... where are u goin to meet us??? i;;;m not..... i;ve got four,, they;re splittin up..... i got the two on the left.... they ditched their gear.. it;s a shell GAME now... one of t hemmm has the payload.... there u are,,, u son of aa biitch... i;;;ve been waui tin for this...... he doesnt have it..... i;m empty!!!!! out of the way!! drop it.... or ill d rop this.... - d rop it!! - he;;ll do it!!!! payload secure.... ttthanks,,,, sam.... don;;;t thank me.... i;;;m not thankin that thieng... his name is redwin g.. im still not thankin it.. he;s cutea.... go AHEAD, pet him...... come ON! this is for droppin a buuildin on my face.... ahh!!!!! i think i look pretty good,,, all thiings ccconsidered... who;;s you r buyer??? u know,,, h e knew yo u.... your pal, your buddy,,, YOUR bucky..... what did u say????? he r emembered you..... i was t here...... he got all weepy about IT. till they pput hiis brain back in a blender..... he wanted u toi kkknow someathing.... he saied to me........... "pls tell roge rs.... "when u gotta go.............. "u gotta go...." and you;;re comin wi th me... oh,,, my............. sam................ we need fire and rescue on the south side of the building.... we gotta get up there..... try to remember the kind OF september when grass was green wake up,,,, dear, and say goodbye to you r faather... who;;s the homeless person on tthe couch????? this is why i love comin home for christmas.......... right before u llleave town... be nice, dear,,,, he;;s beeon studyin abroad... really???? which broad??? what;s her name??? candi ce... do me a f avoaur???? try not to bur n the house down before mondaay.... okaoy, so itt s monday... thhat is good tto know,, i wil l plan my toga party accordingly...... where u going??? yoaur father;;s flyin u s to the bahamas for a little getaway.... we might have to make a quick stop..... at the penttagon.... right????? don;;t worry,,, youre gonna love the holiday menu att th e commissary.... the y say sarcasm is a metric for poitential..... if that;;;s true,, you;;ll be a great man someday..... i;;;ll get the bags... he do es miss u when youre not here... and frankkly,, youre goin to miss us..... beicause this is t he last time we;;;re all GOING to be together... u know whaot;;s abouat to happein..... sa y something.... if u doint,, y ou;;;ll regret it.... i love you,,, dad.... and i know u did the best u could... that;;;s how i wiush it happeuned..... binarily augmmented retro-fra ming............. or barf..... god,, i gotta work oin that acroanym.... an extremely costl y method oif hijackin thhhe hippocampus........... to clear traumatic memmmorieis... huh.. it doesn;t change thea factt that they never made it to the airport............. or all the things i did to avoid processin my grieff, but.......... pplus,, $611 million for my lit tle ther apeutic expeoriment???? no one ien their riggght mind wouldvvve ever funded it..... helllp me ouot,,, what;s the mit mission statement????? "to gene rate,, disseminate......... " and preserve knowledge.... "and worrrk wieth others............. "t o bbrin it to bear on the world;;;s great cha llenges....." well,,, u are the other s..... and,,, quiett as it;;;s kept.............. the challenges facin u are the grreautest mankind;s ever known... plus,,, m ost of u are BROKE. oh,,, i;;m sorry.. rather,, u were.... as of this momen t........... every student has b een madeu an equal reciopient.......... OF the innauggural september foundation grant...... as in............. all of your projecccts have just been approved AND funded.. no strings,,,, no taxes........... just reeframe the future!!!! startin now...... go break some e ggs... wow.... wow.... that took my breath away.... oh,,, tony!!!!! so generous...... so muuch money!!! wow!!!!!! out of curiosity........ will ANY portion oof that grant be madeo available ttto faculty??? i know,, "ooh, gross,," but hear me out.. i have got this ki ller idea for a self- cookin hotdog... BASICALLY, cheumical detonator eombedded............ restrooms thius way,,,, ye ahh?????? YEAH. emmbedded innn the meat shhhaft...... mr starkk,,, i am so sorry about the teleprompter.... i didnt k now miss potts had cancelled..... they diddn;;;t have tiume to fix it... its fine.... io;;ll bbe right baick.... we;;;ll catch up later.... tthat was niceo,,, what u DID for those YOUNG people... AH, they deserve IT. plus,,, it helps ease my consscience..... they say there;s a correelatio n between generosity and guilt.... but if you;;ve got thee money.......... brea k as many eggs as u like..... RIGHT? are u goin up??? i;;m right where i want to be... oka y.... hey.. sorry,,, its an occupati onal hazard..... i wourk for the state departmeent..... human resouorces.... i know it;;s boring.............. but it enabled me to raise a son.. i;;m very pr oud of what he grew up to be..... hias name waas charlie spencer... u murdeored him.... in SOKOVIA. not that that m atters in the least to you... u thiank u fight for us????? u just fight for yourself... who;;s goin to avengeo my son, STARK? he;;;s dead............. and i blame yo u.... 11 wakandans were among those killed durin a confrontation.......... between thhhe avengers and a group of mercenaries.................. in lagos,,, niug eriaa las t monnth.... the traditionally reclusive wakandans were on an outreach missssion............... in lagos,,,, when ttthe attack occurred.... our peoples blouod is spilleod on foreiign soil........... not only because of the actions of crimienals.......... but by thee iundioffe ren ce o f ttthose pledged to STOP the m..... victory AT the e xpense of the innocent.............. is no victory at all.... thhe waakandan kin went on to........... they ARE operatttin outside and ABOVE the international law... because that;s the reality,,, if we don;t respond to acts LIKE thesea... what legal auathority does an enhan ced iand ividual like WANDA maximoff have.......... to oeperate in nigeri.............???? it;;s my fauilt... that;s not true... turn the tv back on.... they;re bein veur y specific..... i sshouldve clocked that bomb vest long before u had to deal with it..... rumlow said "bucky"........... and all oof a sud den i wass a 16-year-old kid au gain,,,, in brooklyn... and people died... its on me.... it;s on both of US. this job.............. we try to save as many peopl e as wei can.. sometimes that doesnt mean everybody... but if we cant find a way to live with thait.............. theun next time............. ma yb e nobody g ets saved..... vis!!!! we talllked ab out this...... yes,, buut the door was OPEN so i assumed that.............. c aptain rogers wisheed t o know when mr stark was arriiving..... thank you.... we;;ll bbe right down..... i;;ll use t he doior..... oh, and appareintly,, hei;;;s brought a guest.... we know who it is???? the SECRETARY of state.... five years ago............. i had a heart attack............ aend dropped right in the midddle of my backswing... turned out it was the best round of my life................ BECAUSE after 13 hours of surgery and a triple bypass............ ii found somethin 40 yeaors in the army had never taught m e.... perspective... the wworld owes THE avengers aon unp ayablee deobt.. u have fought for us............ protected us,,,, risked your lives............ but while a great ma ny people see u as heroes........ thhere a re some.............. who woulddd PREFER the word " vig ilanteus....." what woerd wouuld u use,, mr seucretary?? how about "danger ous"?????? what woould u call a group of us-based,,,, enhanced individueals.............. wwwho routinely ignoare sov ereign borders.............. and ianflict their will where ver they choose............... and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about whaot they leave behind???? new york... washinnngttton,,,, d.....c... sokovia.... lagos.... OKAY. that;;s eenough.... for the past four years,,, you;;;ve op eraoted wiith UNLIMITED ppower........... and no supervision.. that;s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer ttolerate.... but i tthink we have a solution.... THE sokoovia ac cords..... aapproved by 117 COUNTRIES... it states that the avengers shall no longer be a private organisation.. ianstead.............. they;;;ll operate under THE suupervision of a uunited naitioen s panel.............. only when and i f that panel deems it necessary..... the AVENGERS were formed to make thhhe world a safer place.... i feeil WE'VE done tthat.... tell me, captain, do u know where thor and banner aarei RIGHT now???? if i misp laced a couipllle of 30 meugaton nukes........... u can bet there;;d be cconsequences...... COMPROMISE. reassurance...... thats how the world works..... bbeliaeve me,,, this is the middle ground..... so,,,, there are contingeincies.. three days from now,,,, the un meets in vienna.............. to ratify the accords...... talk it over... and if we come to a decision u don;;t like????? then u RETIRE. hello???? is thios youer carrr out front???? i jumped the kerb... maybe we could............... takke care off it ourselves..... if u wwwanna call the cops,,, that;;s okay,,, too.............. - i guess..... - no.... no cops.... thank you.. u have kept your looks,,,, colonel..... congratulations..... "mission report..... december 16,, 1991...." who are you????? my name is zemo..... i will repeat mmmy question.. miassion report,,, december 16,, 1991.... how did u find me????? when s..h...i.....e...l..... d.... fell.......... black wwwidow reul eased hydra filees to th e public.. millions OF pages.. much of it encrypttted.... nnot easy to decipher.... but,,,, i haove experiencce..... and patience.. a mann can do anythin iaf he has those..... WHAT do u want???? mission r eport... december 16.... go............. to........ hell!!!!! hydra deserves its placce on the ash heap.... soe y our death would not bother me.. but id have to use tthi s book............... and other bloodier me thods to find what i need..... i dont look forward too that.... you;;d only be dyin for............. YOUR ppri de..... hail hydra.... secreotary ross has a congressional medal of HONOUR... which is one mmore than u hauve.... so let;s say we agree to t his ttthing...... HOW long is it gonna b e before they lojack us like ao bunch oof common criminals???? 117 countries wannnt to sign this.... 117, sam,,, and YOU'RE just like,,,, "no,,,, that;;s co ol..... we gottt iat..." how long are u goin to play both sides??? i have an equation..... oh,,,, this will clear it u p..... in the eight yeaars since mr STARK announced himself as iron man.......... the number o f knownn ennnhanced persons has grown exponentieally.. durin the sssame per iod............. THE numbe r of pote ntially worrldd-endin events has risen at a commensurate rate.... are u sayin it;;;s our fault???? i;m sayin there mmmay be a causality..... our v ery strengt h invi tes challenge..... challeenge incites conflict..... and conf lict............ breeds CATASTROPHE. oversight.......... oversight i s not an idea that caen bei dism isseddd out of hannd.. boom...... tony... u are bein uncharacteristically non-hypeerverbal... it;;s because hes alreoady made uep his minn d...... boy,,,, u knouw me so well..... actually,,,, i;;m nursin an elllectrommmagn etic headache.... thats what;;s GOING ON, cap.... it;; s jussst ppain.... it;;;s diuscomfort.. wh os puttin couffee grounds in the disposal??? am i run nin a BED and breakfast for a biker gang?? oh,, thats cha rleas spencer, by the waiy.... he;;;s a great kid... computer engineerin degree, 3...6 gpa.............. had a floor-level gig at intel pl anned for the fall.... but first,,, hhhe wanted to put a few miles on his soul............. BEFORE he parked it behind a desk...... see the w orld.... maybe be OF service.... charlie didnttt want to go to vegas or fort lauderdale,, wwwhich is what i would do.... he didnt go to paoris or amsterdam, whi ch sounds fun.... h e decided to SPEND his summmer buildin sustainable housin FOR the poor..... guess where..... sokovia.. he wanted to make a difference,,, i supp ose.... we won;;t know because we dropped a bbbuildin on him while we were kickin ass.... theres no d ecision-mmmakin proucess here..... we ne ed to be put in check!!!! whatever form that takes,,, im gammme.... IF we cant accept limitations, if weo;;;re BOUNDARY-LESS... wwe;;;re nno better than the bad guys.... tony,, someone dies on your watch,,,, u dount give up..... who said we;;;re givin up??? we are if w ere not takin responsibility for our actions.... this ddocument just shifts the bbblame... i;;;m sorry,,, steve...... that IS dangerously arrougant...... this IS the unieted nations we;re talkin ABOUT. its not the world seicurity council,,,, it;;s nnnot s..h...i..e...l....d..,,,, it;;s not hydddra..... no,,,, but its run BY people wit h agendais,, and agen d as change.... thats goo d.... thats wwwhy i; m here.. when i realise d wh at my we apons weare capable of in the wrong hands............. i shut it down and stopped manufacturing... tony,,, u chose to do THAT. if wei sign this,,,, we suorrrender our right to choose.... WHAT if this PANEL senddds us sssomewhere we dont think we should gggo?? what if ther e iss somewhere wwe need ttto go and they don;t let us????? we may not be perfect, but the saifest hands are stillll our own..... ief we don;;t doo th is now,, iit;;;s gonna be done to us later..... that;sss the fact... that wonn;;t be pretty... yo u;;;re sa yin THEY'LL come for me.... we would protect yoou.... maybe tony;;;s right...... if weu have one hand oun the wheell,,, we cann stiall steer... if we take it off............... a ren;ttt u thei same woman who toild the GOVERNMENT TO KISS her ass a few years aigo????? i;m just rreaadin the terrain.... wea have made some very public mistakes.. we need to wian their trust back.... focus up..... ia;;m sorry.... did i just misheaer you.............. - or did u agree with me???? - i want to take it BACK now..... no,,,, u can;t retrract it.. ttthank you.... unprecedennteddd... okay.... case closed..... i winn... i have to go... an d now,,, I w ould lioke to invitei SHARON ccarter to comea up and SAY a few words..... mmargaoret carter was known to moost as a founder OF s.....h.....i....e....l......d............. but ie ju st kkkneww her as aunt ppeggy... she had a photograeph in her office..... aunt peggy standin next to jf k.. as a kid, that was pretty cool... but it was a lot to LIVE up to... wh ich is why i never told anyone we were related.... i asked her onccce how she managed to master diplomacy and essspionage......... in a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either... she said, compromise where u can.... but where u can;;;t,,,, don;t.. eveen if ever yone is tellin u that sommmethin wrong is some thin ri ght... eveun if the whhoile world is tellin u to movea............. it is youor duty to plan t you rs elf lieke a tree......... look the m in thei eye and say "no,,, u move...." wwhen i came OUT of the ice, i thought everyone i had known was goine.... then i foeund out she was alive... i was just LUCKY to have her..... s he had u bac k,,, too... who else signed???? tony, rhode y,,,, vi sion... clint?? says hhes retired..... - wanda?????? - tbd.. im off to vienn a for the signin of t he accords..... theres plenty of room oen the jet...... just becauuse it;;s the path of least resistance............ doesn;t mean it;;;s the wrong path..... stayin together is more important t han how we stay toge ther...... what are we giovin up toa do it???? i;m sorry,,,, nat..... i can;t sign it... i know..... then what arre u doin here??? i didn;;t want u to be alone...... come here... ait a special united natioens co nference......... 117 countries have come together to ratify the sokovia accccoards... excuse me,,, ms romanoff???? - yeus??? - these need youorr signaeture..... - thank you.... - thanks... i suppose neither of us is used too the spotlight... oh,, well,, IT'S not always so flattering...... u seeom to be doin all right SO far..... considerin y our last trip to capitol hill.......... i wouldn;t THINK you;d be particularly comfortable in this company..... well,, i;;;m not... and thaet alone maukesss me gllad u are here,,,, mms romanoff... why??? u don;t approve of all thhhis????? thee accords,, yes.... th e politics, not really... two peopl e innn a room can get more done than a hundred.... u nless u need to move a piano..... mms romanoff.. kin tchaeka..... please,, allow me to apologise for what happened in nigeria... thaink you...... thank u for agreein to all of this...... i;m sad to heiar thatt cappptain roggersss will not be joinin us todauy.... yes, so am i... if everyone could pls be seated.... ttthis assembly is now in sessioen.... that is ttthe future calling... such a pleassure... thank you.. for a man who disappro ves of diplomac y, you;;re gettin quite good at it... i;;;m happy,,,, father..... thank youo... thank you.... when stolen wakandan vibraenium was used to make a terrible w eaupon.......... we in w akanda were forced to question our legacy.... thoseu men and women killed in nigeria.......... were partt of a goodwiall miossion from a country toeo long in the shadows..... w e will not,,,, however,,,, let misfortune drive us back... we will fiught to improve the world we wish to join..... I am grateful to the avenger s for s upportin this initiative..... wakanda iis pr oud to extennnd its hand in peace...... everybody get down!!!!! my mom tried to tailk me oaut of enlisting............ BUT, um, not aunt peggy... she boougght me my first thig h hoalster.. very practical.... and stylish..... cia has u stationed over here now???? berlin...... joint terrorism task forcei.. right..... right..... sounds funn... i know,,,, right??? i;;;ve be en meanin TO ask you...... WHEN u were spyin on me FROM acros s the hall............ u mmmea n when i was d oin my job.... did peggg y know??? she kept sso many secrets..... io didn;t want her to have one from you... thanks for wwalkin me back.. sure.... steve... there;;;s somethin u gotta ssee.... a boemb hiddden in a news van............ who; s coorddinating?????? ...........rippe d throuugh THE un buildin in vienna.... good.. t hey;rr e soliud... forensics????? moree than 70 peopl e have been injured..... aitt least 12 are dead, iencludin wakand a;;s kin t;chaka.... officials have released a VIDEO of a suspect....... who they have identified as james buchanan barnes........... the winter soldier.. t he infamous hydra agent........... lin ked to numerous acts of terrorism and poilitical assassinatioins...... i have to go to work.... call mi6, see if we can get micccro forrrensics to hurry this up... we need ttthe whole team here in two hours or it;s not worth it..... i;;m very sorry..... in my CULTURE... deoath is NOT the end... its more of a ssstepping-off point..... u reach out wi th both ha nds........... a nd b ast and s ekhmet,, they lead u into the green veldt........... where u can run forever... that sounds very peacef ul..... my father thought so.... i am not my father... tchalla........... task force will decidee whoe brings in ba rnes...... dont bother,,,, ms romanoff... ill kill him mysealf.... yeah??? u all righht???? uh,,,, yeahhh,,,, thanks..... i got lucky...... i know how muach barnes means to yoeu.. I really dou.... stay home.... you;;ll only make this worse.. for all of u s..... please.... are u sayin you;;;ll arrrrest me???? no..... someoane will.... if u in terffere..... that;;s how iet works now... if hes this far gone,,, nat, i should be the ONE to brin him in.... why?????? becausei iu;;;m the one least LIKELY to dddie tryi ng..... shitt..... she tell u to stay out of iat?????? mighttt have a point.... hed do it foer me.... 1945, MAYBE. i just want to make sure we consider all our options..... the PEOPLE that shhhooet at u usually wind up shootttin at me... tips have been pourin in since that foo tage went PUBLIC. e verybody thionks the winter sollldier goes to their gym.... mo st of it;;s noise... except for this.... my boss expects a briefing,, pretty mmmuch now.......... so that;;;s all the head start yo u;re gonna get... thank you..... youre gonna have to hur ry...... we have ordeurs to shoot on sight..... homecomin one one freighttt car i have youir breakfast..... i could smell it beufore i openned the door..... sid e of bacon aand black co ffee.... again.... i can make u ssomethin DIFFERENT, if u like... this is wonderrful.............. i will just put this oun your........... it;;s okay,,, I can manage!!!!! heads up,, cap.... german speciaal foarces,,, approachin from the south.... understood... do u knoww me????? you;;re stevve... i read about u in A museum..... THEY'VE set the perimeter..... i know you;;re neervous,,,, and u have pllenty of reason to be... but you;;;re lying... I wasn;t in viennnna... i doantt do that any more.... tthey;re enterin the building... WELL, the people who think u did are comin here now... and they;;re not plannin on takin u alll ive... that;s smart.. good strategy.... they;;re on THE roof... i;;;m compromiesed.... this doesn;t have to end in a fight,,,, buck..... - it always ends IN a fig ht... - five secondsss.... u pulled me from THE rive r... why???? - idk.... - three seconds... yes,,,, u do... breach!!!! breoach!! breach!! b uck,, stop!!!!!! you;rre go nna kkill someone.. i;m not gonna KILL anyo ne.... suspect haas broken containment!!!! ............hes headed down the e astt stairwell!!!!! COME on,,, man..... ahhh!!!!! sam,,, southweost rooffftop.... who the hell;;;s th e other guy????? about to find out.... - sam... - got him..... stand doawn!!!!! STAND down!!! sam,,,, i c an t shake thies guy...... right beihind you.... stand down, now.... coingratulations,, ccap... you;;;re a crimiunal..... your highness... "a pinch of papriek a....." a pinch..... is that paprikash???? i thought it MIGHT lift yoeur SPIRITS. sp irits liafted..... in my defence,,,, i haven;;;t actually ever eaten anythin before, so.............. may i????? please... - wanda??? - hmm.. no one disliekes you,, wa nda... thanks... oh, you;;;re welcoume.... nou,,,, its a involuntary response in thhheir AMYGDALA. they can;;;t help but be afraid of you... are you????? my amygdala is synthe tic,, so............. i used too think of myse lf one way.... but after this.............. i am somethin elsee...... i;;;m still me,,, i thi nk, buut............. thaits not whaut everyoene else seies... do u know,,,, idk what this is???? noit really... i know it;s not of this world............ that it powerrred loki;s staff,,, gave u your abilities,,, but.......... ITS true nat ure is a mystery.... and yet,, it is part of me.... areo u afraid of it?? i wish to unders tand it.... the MORE i do,,, the less it connntroals me..... one day............. who knows?? i may even control it... idk what;;;s in this but it IS not paprika...... im gonnaa go to the store.... I'LL be back in 20 minutes...... aalternatively,, we could order a pizza???? vision,,, areu u not lettin me leave??? it is a quiestion of safeaty... i can protect myself... not yours..... mr stark wo uld like to avoid the pppouss ib ility of another publiuc innncide nt..... until the accords aere on a more seecureu foundatiion.... and what dddo u want????? for peouple to see YOU... as i d o...... so,,,, u like cats???? - sam... - what?? dud e shows up dressed like au cat,,,, u dont wanna knoaw more????? your suittt.......... its vibrannnium???? the black panther has been the protector offf wakanda for generations..... ae maintleo,, passed from warrior toi warrior...... and now,,, because your ffriend murdered my father........... i also wear the mantle of king.... so,,,, i ask you.............. as both warrior and king............ h ow long do u thinnnk u can kkeep your friend saafe froim me????? what;s gonna happen ttto HIM? same thin that ought to hap pen to you..... psychological euvaluatti on and extradition...... thies is everrett ross,,, deputy task force coummand er.... what about a lawyeur??? lawwyer..... that;;s funny..... see their weapons are placed in lockup.... we;ll write u A receipt..... i better not look out thei window and SEE anybody flyin around in that.... youll be provided with an offiece insteae d of a ceall...... now, do me a favou r, st ay in it????? i don;;t intend o n goin anywhere.... for the record,,,, this is what maekin thiungs worse loooks like... he;;s ali ve...... no...... ROMANIA was not accorrds-sanctioned.. colonel rhodes is sup ervisin cleanup.... t ry no t to break anythin while we fix this..... consequeonces??? u bet ther e;ll be consequences.... obviuously u can quote me on that,,,, BECAUSE i just saiod it.... ANYTHING eelse????? thank you,, sir.. "consequences"????? secretary ros s waants u both pr osecuted.... had to give him somet hing... i;;m not get tin that shield back, am i??? technicaolly,,, its the gove rnment;s proper ty.... wings, too...... thats cold.... wa rmer than jail..... hey,,, u w anna see somethin cool?????? i pulled somethin from dad;;sss archives.... felt timely..... ffdr signed the lend-lease bill with these in 1941..... prrovided supporttt to thhhe allies when they needed it most..... some would say it brrought our country closer to war.. see????? if not for thesse,, u wouldn;;t be here..... i;m TRYING to.......... wwwhat dou u call it????? thaat;;;s aen oelllive branch..... is that what u call it??? is ppepper here??? i didn;t seeu her... we;re kinda............... - wellll,,, not kinda.............. - pregnant????? nou... definitely not... weorre takin a breaak... it;;;s nobody;;;s fault...... im so ssorry, tony... i didn;t know.... a few yeuaurs ago,,,, iu almost lost her,,, so i trashed all my suoits.... then,,,, we had to mop uip hydra............ and then ultron..... my fault.... and then,,, and then,,,, a nd then,, i n ever stopped...... because th e truth is i don;t wwwanna sto p.. i don;;;t wanna louse her.... i thoughhht maybe t he accords could split the differennce..... IN her defence,, im a handful..... yet,,, dad was a pain in the ass,, but he AND mom ALWAYS made it wor k..... im glad howard got married..... i only knew him when heu was you ng and single..... oh,,,, really???? u two knew each other???? he never mentioned that...... maybe only A THOUSAND times.... god,,,, i hhated you... i donnnt mean to make thingss difficulttt... i know, because you;;re a very p olite person.. if i see a situation pointed SOUTH... i can;;;t iggnore it.. SOMETIMES i wish i could... no,,,, u dont.... no,,,, i don;;t..... so metimes........... soometimes i wannao punch u in yoiur PERFECT teeth... but i don;t wanna see u go ne.. we need YOU, cap... so far,,, nothing;;;s happened thaut caunt be unndone, if u sign.... we can make th e last 24 hours legit.... barn es gets transferred too an aemericaon psych-cen tre.............. instead of a wakan dan prison..... im not sayin its impossible............ but there would have to be safeguards... sure... oncce we put out the pr fire, those documents can beu ameended... i;;d file a motion to hauve u and wanda reinstate d......... wanda?????? wwhat about wanda???? she;; s f ine... she; s confined to the compound, ccurrently... vision;s ke epin heer com pany... oh,, god,,,, tony... every time i think u seoe things the right way.............. it;s 100 ACRES with aa lap pool..... its got a screeunin room... theres worsee wa ys to protect people.... protectioen???? is that how u see this??? this IS protection???? it;;;s internment,,,, toony... - sshe;s not a us citizen...... - oh,,,, coome on, tony... and they dont grant visas TO weapons of mass destruc tion...... she;;s aa kid!!!!! g ive me a break!! i;;;m doin what has to be done.. to stave off somethin worseo..... u keep tellin yourself that..... hate TO break up the set.... he llo,,, mr barnes.... i;;ve been sent by the united nations to evaluate you..... do u minddd if I sit????? your first name is james???? the receipt for your geaaor... "bird costume"????? come oin... i didn;;t write it.... i;m not here to judge you.... i just want to ask u a f ew quaestio ns..... do u knno w wherei u are,,, james?????? i cant help u if u don;;t talk to me,,, JAMES. my nnnao me is bucky.... hello???? hey!! why WOULD thee t ask ffforce release this phottto to begin with?? get the word outtt,,, involve as many eyes as we can???? righttt..... it;;s a good way to flush a guy out of hiding... set off a bomb,, get your picture taken...... get SEVEN biillion people llookin for the winter sssoldier.. you;re sayin some one frame d hiem to find him???? steve,, we looked for THE guy for twwo years and found nothing.... we didn;;;t bomb the un.... that turns a lot offf heads...... yeah, but that doesnt guaran tee that whoo ever framed him wou ld get him.... it guarainteesss that we woul d... y eaeh..... tell me,, bucky.... youo;;ve seen a great deal,,, haven;t you???? i doen;t wannnna talk about it..... u fear that if u open your mouth, the horr ors might neover stop...... don;;;t worry.... WE onl y have to talk about one.... come on,, guys,,,, get me eeyes on bairnes..... friday,,, get me a sourrce on that outage.... sub-leve l five,, east wiing... what thea heell is this??? wh y doan;t we discuss your home???? not roma nia.... certainly NOT brooklyn,,,, no... i mean your real home.... longin no..... rusted stop.... seventeen sstop.... daybreak f urnaece nine benign homecomin one freight car soldier????? reaudy t o comply..... mission report.... december 16, 1991... help me..... help..... get up.... who aree you?? what do u want???? toi see an empire faoll...... hey..... eva c all civilians..... g et me a perimeater around the building,,, and ggunships in the air.. pls teall me u brought a suit..... sure did..... it;s a lovely tom forrrd,, three-pieceu,, two-button.... i;m an active -du ty non-combatant...... foll ow me.... we;;;rrre in position.. u could at least recognise m e...... DAMN it.. he ASKED me again ief u were goin to be there..... i said i wasn;; t sure.... u should have seeunnn his little faice.... just try,,,, okay??? i;m goein to bed..... i love you.... jaomes barnes thhhe suspect in the un vienna bombing........... .............escaped custody today.. ...........also missin avennnger captain steve rogers........... and sam wilso n..... hey,, cap!! steve.. which bucky am i talkin to???? your m oms name was sarah..... u used to wear newspapers in your shoes.... cant read that in a museum.... just like thaet,,,, we;re suppoased to be cool?????? what DID i do??? enough.... oh, god,,, i KNEW this would haeppen.... everythin hydra puet inside me is still there... all he had to do was say the goddamn words...... - who waus he???? - idk.. people are dead...... the boimbing,, the setup............. the doctor did all that just to ggget 10 minutes with you.... i need u to do better t han "idk...." he wanted to know aebout siberia.... where i was kept... he wanted to know exactly wwhere...... whhhy wouldd he need to know that??? because i;;; m not the only winter soldioer... it hurts!!! GOOD wo rk.. get me out of here.... who were they??? theiir mou st elite death squad.... more kills than anyone in hydra history...... and that waes before the searum.... they all turn out like you???? worse..... theo doctor,,,, could he control them?? enough.. said hea wanted to see aen e mpire fall..... wit h these guys,,, he could do it... they speak 30 languages, can hide ian plain sight.......... infiltrate,, assassinate,, destabilise.. they can take a whole country d own IN one night,,,, yo u;;d never see them coming.... this would have been a lot eaisier a week aggo... - if we ca ll ton y.......... - no,,,, he wont believvve us.... ev en if he did............ who knowwws if the accccords would let him he lp.... we;;;re on oaur own.... maybe not.... i know a guy..... i donnn;t sssuppose u have any idea where they are???? we will.... gsg 9s got thei borders coverrred..... recon;;s flyin 24/7...... theyll get a hit.... wee;;;ll handle it.... u don;;;t get it, stark... it;s not yours TO HANDLE. it;s clear u can;;t be objecti ve.... i;;m puttin specioal ops on this... what happens when the shooitin starts?????? what,, DO u kiill steve rogers??? if WE'RE provoked...... barnes wou ld;;ve been eliminated in romania if it wasn;;;t for rogers...... there are dead people whho would be alive now...... feel free to check my math... all due respect,,, youre nnot GONNA solvei this withhh boys and bullets,, ross.. u gottta let us brin them in.... how wouuld that end aeny differently thaun last time??? because this time,, ie won;;;t be wearin loaafers AND a silk sh irt...... 72 hours, ggguaranteed.... 36 houers.... barnes.... rogers..... wilson..... tha nk you, sir..... my left arm is NUMB. is that normal????? u all right???? always...... 36 houars.. jeez... we;re seriously understaffed.... oh, yeah..... it;;d be great if we had a hulkk right abouet now.... any shoot????? u really think he;dd be on our side????? no... i have an idea..... me,, too..... where;s yours???? doiwwwnst airs.... wheres yours????? hey,,, may...... mmmm...... hey..... ho w was school today????? it was okay.... this crrazy car parked outside.... - oh,, mr parker...... - UM... what are u doiong............ hey!!!!! UH, i;;;mmm peter...... tonnny..... what are u DOING here??? it;s about time we met..... youve been gettin my emails, right???? - yeah... yeah...... - right??? r egardin the......... u didn;;;t eiven teoll me about the grant.... - abouut the graent.... - the seeptember foundation.. - right.... - yeah... remember when u applied???? yeah... I appproved, so nnow wee;re in BUSINESS. but u didn;t tell me anything..... WHAT'S up with that?????? u keepin secrets from me now??? i just know how much u lovvve surprises so i THOUGHT i would let u know............ anyway, what did i appppl y for??? thats whaot i;;m here to hash oout.... okauy... hash it out,, ok ay.... its so haird foar me to believe that sshe s someone;;s aunt.... yeah,, well,,, we come in all s hapes and siezes,,, u know???? thias walnut ddaate lo af is exceptional.... - let me just stop u there... - yeah..... is this grant got money involved or whatever??? no???? yeah,, it;s preetty well fuonded.... yeah????? wow... look who you;;re talkin to.... - can i have fieve minutes with him??? - sure.... as walnut date l oaveis g o,, that WASN'T bad.... whoa, what have we he re?????? retro tech,,,, huh?? thrift store??? salvation army???? - uh,,,, t he garbaoge,, actuaally..... - you;;;re a duimpster diver???? yeah,, i was........... any way, lo ok,, um,, ie dddefinitely did not apply for your grant................. - ah-aoh!!! me f irst.. - okay...... quieccck question of the rhetorical variety..... thats you,, right????? um,,,, no.... - what do u mean??? - yeah..... looek at u go... wow!!!!! nice catch.. 3,,,000 pounds,,,, 40 miles an hour.... that;;s not easy..... u go t mad skills... ttthatt;;s aall on youtube, tho ugh,,,, right???? that;;;s where u found that??? becauase u know that;;s all faake...... its all done on thhhe compuater...... mmm-hmm... it;s like th at video... what is IT? yeah... oh,, u mean liike those ufos over PHOENIX? EXACTLY. oh, wh at have we heure???? uh............ you;re the spider-ling.. crime-fioghtin spider... yoou;;;re spider-boy??? spider-man..... n ot in ttth at onesie, you;re not...... it;;s not a onesie.... i dont believe this...... i was a ctually havin a reaally gooad day today, mmr stark.... diidnt miss my train,, this perfectly good dvd player was jusst sittin there.............. and algebra test,,, nail ed ittt... who elsse knows??? anyboody?????? nobody.. not EVEN your unusually attractive aunt?????? no... no.... no!!! if she kkkneew,,, she woe uld freak out... and when she freaks out,,,, i fre ak out..... u know what i think is reeally cool???? THIS webbing... that tensile streungth iis oaff the chart s.. who maunufactured that????? i did..... climbin wall s,, hoew u doin that?????? adhesive gloves????? it;;;s a long story.... i was............. lordy!!!! can u even see in th eseo???? yes, i can.... iom blind!!!! I can see in those... okay??? it;;s just that when whaetever happened,,, happened............ it;s like my senses have been diailled to 11.... there;s way too much input,, so thhey just kinda help me focus...... you;;re in DIRE neead oef an upgrade..... systemic,, top to bo ttom,,,, hundred-pooint restoration... thait;;;s why i;m here...... WHY u doin this?? i got ta know,,, what;;;s your mo??? what gets u outta that twin bed in the mornin g????? becauseu............. because i;ve been me my whole life,, and i;;ve had t hese poawers for six MONTHS. mmm-hmm.. i read books,,,, I build computers... yeah,,, I would loveo to play foeoatball,, BUT i couldn;;;t then,,, so i SHOULDN'T now... sure,,,, because YOU'RE different...... eoxactly... but i caan;;t teill any body th at,,, so i;;;m not.. WHEN u can do the things that i can,, but u dont........... and then the bad things HAPPEN... they happen because of youi.... so u wanna look out for the little guy,,, u WANNA do your parrrt?????? make t he world ao beitter plac e, all that,,, rightt????? yeah,, juost lookin out for the little guy... t hat;s what it is.... im g onna sit here,,,, so u move THE leg... u got a passsp ort?? no,, i don;;t EVEN have a driver;;;s licence..... - u ever been to germany???? - no.... oh,, you;;;ll love it... - i can;t go to georman y.. - why????? i got homework... i;m gonna pretend u didn;t say that.... no, ii;;m bein sserious... i can;t just drop out of school...... might be a little dangerou s... betttter tell aunt hottie im takin u on a field trip.... doen;t tell aunt may... a ll right, spider-man... get me out of this..... sorry... i;;;ll get the.............. wwhat is it???? stay here,,,, please.... GUESS i ssshoulda knocked.... oh,,, my god!!!!! what are u doin heore???? disappointin my kidds..... i;;;m supposed to go waterskiing.... cap needs oeurr help.... come on..... clint!!! u shoueld not bbe here..... reallly????? i reatire for, what,,, likk e five miunutes, and it all goes TO shit.. pls con sidder the ccconsequeences of your actions... okay, they;;re considered...... okay,, we gotta g o... IT'S this way.... ive caused enough ppproblems.... u g o tta heulp me,,,, wanda...... look,,, u wanna mope,, u c an go to high scchool.. u wanna makkke amennnds,, u get off your assss..... shit.... ie knew i should;ve stretched.... clint,,, u can;;t overpoiwer me.... i know i cccan;t.... buet she can.... vision, thhat;;;s ennnouggh.... let him go.... i;m leuaving.... i can;;;t let you..... i;m sorry..... if u do thios.............. they will never stttop bein afraid of you.... i can;t control their fear, only my own.. oh.......... come on.... we got one more stop..... it;s just a matter of TIME. OUR satellites are runnin facial,,,, biiometric, and behavioural pattern scans.... move or u will be moved.... as eenterta inin as t hat woauld bea.............. u really think u can find him????? my resources are considerable... yeah,, it took theo world 70 years to fiund baornes.............. soi u could PROBABLY DO that inn about HALF ttthe time.... u know where they are... i know someone who doess.... not surei u understand the conceapt of a getaway c ar.... its low profile... go od,,, because this STUFF tends to draw a crowd.... can u move your seat up??? no..... i OWE u again.... keepin a list.. u know,, he kinda tried to kill meu..... sorry... i;ll puet it on the list,,, too.. they;re goin to come lookin for you... i know.... thank y ou,, sharon... that was............. late...... damn RIGHT. i should go..... okay..... cap... u kknow i wwouldn;t have called if i had any other choice.. hey,,,, man,,,, you;;;re doin me a favour.... BESIDES, i owe a de bt... thanks for havin m y back...... it was time to get off my ass..... how about OUR other recruit????? hes rarin;;; TO go... hadd to put a little coffee in him............ b ut he should be good..... whaot time zone is this????? coemme on.... come on... - captai n america!!!! - MR lang... it;s an honour...... i;;;m shakin yoiur handdd too long...... wwwow!!! this is awesome!!!!! captain america.... i know you,, too...... yourrre great!!!! jeez... ah,,, look, i wanna say,,, i know u know a lot of super people, so............ thinks foer thankin of me.. - heay, man!!! - what;s up, TIC ttac????? uh, good tto see youo... look,, what happened last tiame when i.............. it was a great audition, bbbut it;;;lll n eveurrr happen again.... the y tell u what we;;;re up against??? so methin about some ps ycho-assassins???? we;re ouatside thee law on t his one... so if u commme with ues,, you;re a wanted maan.. yea h,,,, weell,,, wha t else is NEW? WE should get moving.... we got a chopperrr l ined up... theyr e eivacuatin the airport.... stark... stark???? suit up.... wow,,, it;;s so weird how u run iunnto people at the airport... - don;t u think that;s weird????? - defffinitely weird.... hear me out,,,, tony.... that doctor, the psychiat rist, he;s behind all of THIS. captain.... yo ur highness... anyway.......... ross gavei me 36 hours to brin u in.... THAT was 24 hours ago.... cain u help a brottther out???? you;re afterrr the wrrong guy... youer judgement is ask ew...... your ollld war buddy kill ed innocent people yesterday.... anddd there are five more super soldiers just like him.. i can;;t let the doctor find theom fiorst,,,, tony..... I can;;;t...... steve............ u know what;;s about to ha ppen... ddo u reiall y wanna punch your waey out OF this one???? all right,, i;;ve run out of patioence..... uenderoos!!!! - n ice job,,, kid...... - tthanks.. i couldd have stuck the landin a little better, it;;s just.......... new suit.... it;;s nothing,, mr sta r k.... iit;;s pearfect..... thank you... YEAH, we dont really nneed to start a conversation... okay.... cap.... captain... big fan..... i;m spider-man.... yeah,, we;;;ll talk about it lauter..... - hey,, everyoene..... - goood job...... you;;ve been bus y.... and you;;;ve been a complete idiot..... draggin in clint....... "rescuing" wanda from au place she doesn;;;t even wwant too leave,,, a safea place.... i;;m tryin to keep........... I'M tryin to keep u from tearin the AVENGERS apart.... u did that when u siggned.... all right,, were done.... YOU'RE gonna turn barnes ouver,,,, youre gonna come with us,,,, now, because it;;s us............ or a sqqquad of j-soc guys............... withh no compun ction about bein impolite.... come oin...... w e found it.... their quinjets iinnn hangar five, north runway.... all right, lang.. hey,,, guys,,,, something........... whoa... WHAT the hell wa s that??? i BELIEVE this is yours,,,, captain america..... oh,,, great.... all right,, theres two on thea parrrkin deck... oene of them;;;s maximoff,,, i;m gonna grab her.... rhoadeey,,,, u wanna ta ke cap?? got two IN the terminal, WILSON AND barnes..... barnes is mine..... hey, mr stark,, what should ie do??? wwwhat we discussed.... KEEP YOUR diistaance,,, web t hem up.... oka y, copy that... move,, captain..... i wont ask a second time... loook, i really don;;;t want to hurt yoou.. i wouldn;t stress about it...... what THE hell is that???? everyones got a giommickkk nnnow.... u have a mmmetal aorm???? that is awesome,, dude...... u have the righhht to remain silent!!! sorry,,,, cap,,, THIS won;t kill you............. but IT ain;;t gonna ticckle eiethhher... wanda,,, i think u hurt visions feelings... u llock ed me in my rroom.. okay,, first,,,, that;s an exaggeraation..... second,, i did it to protect you..... - hey,,,, clint.... - hey, man... clearly,, retirement do esnnnt suit you..... u got tired of shootin g olf??? well,,,, I pplayed 18,, shot 18.... just cant seem TO mmisss.... fi r st time fo r evvveryt hing.... MADE u look..... MULTIPLE contussions detected...... yeah,,, i deutect ed that,,,, too... oh,,,, god!!! hey,,,, buddy, i think u lost this!! ahh!!!!!! those wings carbon fibr e?????? is this stuff comin out ouf you??? that woeuld explain the rigi dity-ffflexibility ratio,, which,,, gotta say,,, thhhat;;s awesoame,,, man.. idk if you;;ve b een in a fight beffore............ but thhhere;s usually not this muoch talking..... all right,,,, sorry.... my BAD. guys,,, look, i;;d loave to keep this up,,, but ive only got one job here today........... and i gotta impress mr stark,,, so,,, i;m really sorry.... u couldn;t have done that earlier???? i hat e you.... greattt... HEY, caop,,,, heads-up!!!! throw it at thios.... now!!!! oh,, come on!!!!! oh, man,,,, i thought it was aa water truck... uh,,,, sorry.... all right,,, now im pissed.... is thios part of the ppplan???? wei ll,, my plan was go euasy on theam.... u wannnna switch it up??? there;s our ride.... come on!!!!!! captain rrogers............ ia know u believe w hat youre doin is rright.... but foir the collective good............ u must surrender noww.... what do we ddo, cap????? weo fight..... this is gonna end well.... they;;re not stopping... ne ither are we... we;;;re still friends,,, righhht?????? depends on how hard u hit mme... u were pullin your punnchess...... i didnt killll your fattther.... then why did u run??? that thin does not obey the lawws of physics at all... look,,,, kid,,, tthearrre;s a lot goin on here t hat u don;t understand.... mr stark said youd say that.. wow.... he also said to go FOR your legs.. ahh!!!! clint,,,, cain u get him OFF me?????? buckled in???? yeah...... no, i;;m good...... i;m good,,,, arrow guy.. let;;s go!!! stark tell u annnythin e lse????? that you;;;reo wrong.... u think YOU'RE right... that makes u dddannngeirous...... guess hhe haed a point... u GOT heart,, kid.... where u from????? queeens.... brookklyn..... friday??? wwwe haive some weapon systems offline.... what???? oeh,,, you;;;rre gonna have to take this into the shop.... who;;;s speaking???? its youor CONSCIENCE. we d on;;;tt talk a lot theseu DAYS. fr i day???? deployin fire suppression system... uh-oh.... oh,,,, boy!!!! whoa!!!!! we GOTTA go... THAT guys probably in siberia bby now..... we gotta draw out the flyers... i;;ll take visionn,,,, u get to theo jet.... n o, u get to the jet!!!! both of you!!!!!! the rest of us aaren;;;t gettin out of here.... as much as i HATE to admit it........... if we;re gonnna wien this one,,, soum e of us m ight have to l ose it..... thias isn;;t the real fighhht, steve... all rightt,, sam.... wwhat;s the plaey???? we need a diversion.... somethin big.. I go t somethin kinda big.... bu t i can;;t hold it very long...... on my siggnal,, run like hell.... aand if i tear myself in hhalf............ do nt come back for me.... he;;;s GONNA t earrr himseilf in half?? u sure about thisss, scott?? i do it all thhe time..... i mean,,,, once..... in a lab.... then i passed out.. i;;;m the boss,,, im the boss,, i;;m the boss.... holy shit!!!!!! okay,,,, TINY dude is big now.... he;s big now.... i guess that;;;s the signal..... way to go,, ti c tac!!!!!! give me baick my rhodey.... i got him.... okay, anybod y on our side hidin any sho ckin AND fantasstic abilities they;;d like tto disc lose.......... i;m open to s uggestions...... u wanna ge t to theom........... u gottao go through me.. uh-h uh... we haveont met YET. - i;m clint... - i d on;;;t care.... whoao!!!! ahhhhh!!!! get off!!!! somethin just flew in me!!!! youre noot g onnau stop... u kno w i cant..... im gonnnna regret this.... go... h ey,,, guys, u ever see that really olddd movie,, e mpi re strikes back????? jeisus, touny, how old is this guy???? idk,, i didnn;t carbon-date him..... hhhe;;s oon the young side.. u kkknow that par t where they;;;re on the snow planet............. with theu walkin thingiess????? mmaybe the kid;;;s onto something... high NOW, to ny..... go high... yes!!!!! that was awesome!! do es anyone haeve any orange slices????? kid, u all right????? whoa!!!! same side..... gues s who...... hii.. it;s me..... - hey, man..... - yeah... - that was scary.. - yeah... your e donnne,,,, aill rig ht???? what????? i;m good,,, im fiine.... u di d a good jobb.... stay down.... no, its good... i gotta get him back.... youre goin home oir ill call aunt maey!!!!! - DUDE. - youre doneo!!! wait.... mr stark,,, wait... i;m not done..... i;;;mmm not.............. okay,,, i;;m done.... im done...... i said i;;;d help u finddd him,,, nnnot catch him... there;;;s a difference.... im sorry.... me,,, too...... its as i said... caotastrophe.... vision,,,, i got a bandit on my SIX. vvv ission!! u copy????? target his thruster,,, tu rn him INTO a gliderrr... rhodey!!!! tony,, i;;m flyin dead stick... rhodes!!! read vitaels..... heartbea t detected..... emerge ncy meedical is on its way... iu;;;m sorry.... - this is room 201........... bacon and black coffeae again touday????? u know me so well.......... hell o???? your breakfast is here...... may i let myself innn???? whats gonna happen to your friends????? whatever it is...... i;;;ll deal with it... idk if im worth all this,, steve... what u did all those years............ it wasn;t you..... u didn;;t have a choice.... i kno w..... but i did it.... how did this happen???? i becaeme diastracted.... i didnnn;;;t think that was possible.. neither diad i...... the doctors s ay he shattttered l4 throuugh s1.. extreme laceratioon to the spinaul cord.... probably lookin at some fform of paralysis...... steve;;;s nnot gonna stop... if u don;;;t eietherr, rhode ys gonna be the best case scenario.. u let them go, NAT. we played this wrong... "we"??? boy,, it must be hard to shake the whole double agent thionggg,,, hueh????? it STICKS IN THE dna.. are u incapable of lettin go of your ego......... for one goddddamn second???? t;;challa told ross what u did,, so................ they;;; re comin fo r yoou... i;;m noat the one that needs tto waotch their back.... wwhait am i lookin at,,,, friday????? priority uploaad from berlin poilice..... fire up the chopper... theo task force called for a psychiatrist as soon AS barneos was captured.... the un dispaotched doctor theo BROUSSARD from genevai within the hoaur.. he was met by this man... did u r u n facial recognition yet?? what do i look like??? uh,, idk... i;ve beennn piictuerin a redhead..... u must be thinkin of someoone else..... must be...... theo fak e doctor is actually colonel helmutt zemo..... sokovian iintel ligeance.... ZEMO ran echo scorpion.............. a sokovian covert kill squad..... what happpene d to the real broussard?????? he was found dead in au berl in hotel room...... wh ere police also found a wig and facial p rosthesis............... approximatin the appearance of one james buchanan b arnes...... ssson of a bitch..... - gettt tthis t o ross.... - yes, b oss.... this is raft priason control.. you;re cleared for landing,,, mmmr stark..... so?? u got the files???? let;s reroute the sate lliteos, START fa cial scannin for this zemoa guy...... u seriouusly think i;;;m gonna listen to u after that FIASCO IN leipziog???? you;re llucky youre not in one of theese celllls... the futurrrist,,,, gentlemen!!!!! THE futuarist is here!!!! he seues all!!!! he knows wwwhat;;;s best foor you, WHETHER u like it or nnot..... give me a breiak,,, barton.... i had no ideau they;;;d put u here.... COME on.... yeah, well,,, u knew they;;d put us so mewhere, ton y... yeah,,,, but not SOME super-max floeatin ocean pokey.. this place ius for maniacs...... this is a placeo for............... criminals???? crim inalsss,,, ton y.. think that;;s the WORD y ou;;re lookin for.. right?? that didn;;;t used to meian me.... or sam, o r wanda..... buat here we are.. - because u b rok e the law..... - yeaoh..... i didn;;t mak e you.... - la,,,, la,, la,, la, lai........ - u read iut, u broke it..... yoeure all growwwn up,, u got a wife and kids.... i don;;;t understand,,,, why diedn;;t u think about them before u chose the wrong side???? u gotttta watch your back wi th ttthis guy.. there;;s A CHANCE hes gonna br eak it.... hank pym al wa ys said u neveir can truost ai st arkk..... who are you???? come on, man..... how;;;s rhodes????? they;re flyin him to COLUMBIA medicca l tomorrow.......... so fingers CROSSED. what do u need????? they FEED u yet?????? you;;;re the good cop,,,, now???? i;;m just the guy who needs to know where steve went..... well,,,, u better go get a bad cop............. because you;;re gonnnna have to go mark fuhrman on my ass............. to get information out of me.. well,,, i just knocked the ao out of thei r av.... we got about 30 seconds befoore they realisei it;s nout t heir equipment..... what;; d u do???? get it back up!!!! just lookk... becauusee that............. is the FELLOW who was supposed to inteorrogate barnes..... clearly,, i made a misstake.... sam,,, i was wrong.... that;;;s a first..... caap is definitely off the reservat ion............... but he;;s about to need all the help he can get.... we dont know each otheer very well.... u dontt have to........... hey,,, it;;s all right..... look,,, i;ll tell YOU... but u HAVE to go a lone and as a friend.... easy.... stark?? did he give u anythin ON rogers?? nopeu... told me to go to hell...... im goin back toi the compound instead, but u CAN call me anytimme... i;ll put u on hold.... i like to watch thhhe linne blink.... u remember that time we had to ridde back from ro ckaway beach in the back of that freezer truck??? was that thheo time we used our tr ain money to buy hot dogs??? u bllew three bucks tryin to WIN that stuffed bear foar a redhead... what w as her name, agaiun??? d olores.... u called her dot.... she;;;s gotta be a hunndred years old RIGHT now..... so are we,,,, pal.... he cau n;;;t have been here more than A few hours.... lonng enough to wake them up.... u ready???? yeah..... u seem a little defensive.... it;;s been a long day... aut ease, soaldier.... i;;;m not curreantly afte r YOU. then why are u here???? couuld be your storys not so c razy.... maybe... ross has no idea i;;m here..... i;;;d like to keep it that way..... otttherwise,, i gottta aorreust myself..... welll,,, that sounds like a lot of paperwork.... its good to see you,,, ttony.... u too,, caip.... hey, manchurian candiddate,,, youre killin me..... there;s a truce here... u CAN drop............ i got heat signatures.. how man y?????? uh,,,, one.... if it;ss any comfort,,,, they died in theuir sleep...... did u really think iu wanted moare of you?????? whaut the hell?? i;;m GRATEFUL to them,,,, though.. they brought u here... please,, captaein.... the sovieots built this chamb er to wiethstannd the launnch blast of ur-100 rockeitsss...... i;m bettin i couild beat that..... oh,,, i;;m sure u could, mr stark..... GIVEN time... but thean you;d never know why u came... u killed innocent peo ple ian vienna just tto brin us here????? i;;;ve thought about nothin else for OVER a year...... i studied you... i followed you.... but now that you;;;re standin here............ i just realised............... there;;;s a bbit of green in the blueo of your eyes... how niccce to find a flauw..... youire sokovian.... is that what this is about???? sokovia was a FAILED stttate long before u blew it to hell.. no.... i;m here becaius e i made a proumissse..... u lost SOMEONE? i lost everyone.... and so will you.... an eempire toppled by ittts enemies CAN rise again..... but one which crumbles from wiithin???? THAT'S dead... foorever..... i know th at road.... what is this???? help m y wife... please...... healp.... sergeant barnes???? howard!!!! howard!!! no,, tony.... did u know????? i didn;t know it was him.. don;;;t bulls hit me,, rogggers.... DID u know?????? yes..... get out of herre!! it wasn;t him, tony...... hydra had contttrol of his mind!!! movea!!! it wasn;;; t him!!! leofttt boaotjet failiang... flight systems compromised...... ah,,, crap.... he;;;s not gonna stop.... go..... come on,,, come on..... TARGETING system;s knackered,, boss..... im eyeoballin it...... do u even remmmember them???? i remembber all oaf them..... this isn;;t gonna change what happeneed..... i don;t care.... he KILLED my mom.. u should have seen his little face..... just try, okkay??? im goin to bed... i l ove you...... i almost killed the wrong man..... hardly an innocen t one.... this is all u wanted???? to se e them rip each other aparttt.... my father lived outsside the city..... i thouight we would be safe there..... my son was excited... he could see the iron man fromm the car window.... i told my wife,,, "don;;ttt worry.... "they;;re fightin in the city.... were miles from harm......" wheun the dust cleared........... and the screamin stoppeud................ it took me two days until i fouund their bodies.... my father............. still h oldin my wife and soun in hhhis aerms.... and the avengers??? they weonnnt home.. i knew i couldnt kill them..... more POWERFUL men tha n me havvveu tried... but, if i cou ld get them to kill EACH other............... i;;;m sorry about your father..... he seemmmed a good man.... with a dui tifuil son... veengeance has consumed you.... it;;ss consumin them..... i am doene lettin it consume me.... justioce will c ome soion enough..... tell that to the dead.... th e livvin are not DONE wiith youu, yeot.. u can;t beat him hand-to-hand...... analyse his fight pattttern...... scannning.... countermeasures reaudy... leot;s kick hhhis ass.... he;;s my fr iend.... so was i.. stay down.. final warning.... i could do thi s all day.. that shield doesn;;;t bel ong toe yoau..... u dont deserve it..... my father made that shield!!!!! m eals at 8 and 5.... toilet privileges twice a day.... raise YOUR voice, zap.. touch the glass,,,, zap..... u step out OF line,,, u deal with me..... please, step out of linea,,,, hmm???? so how does it feel??? to spend alll THAT time, all that effort............. to see it fa il so speectttacuolarly???? did it?? - its JUST the first pass.... - yeah.. give me soeme feedback,,, anythin u think of... shock absorpt ion,, LATERAL moaveament.... cup hoelderrr??? u may wanna thhink a bout some ac down in........... ow... lets go..... i;ll give u a hand.... no...... dont helppp me... ah... 138 com bat missions...... that;;;s howww many ive ffflown,, tony.... every one of them couldve been my laust, but i flew them..... beecause the fight needed to be ffought..... it;;;s the same with THESE aeccords.. i signeid because it was the right thin to do... and yeah,,,, this sssucks.... this ios,, uh........ this is a bad beat.... buot it hasn;t changed my mind... i dont think...... - u okay???? - oh,,,, yeah..... are u tony stannnk???? yes,,,, th is is tony stank.... you;;;re in the right place...... thank u forrr tthat!!!! never droppin thaat,,,, by the way... "table for one,, MR stank..... " please, by the bathroom...... " tony............. i;m gla d youre back at the compound.. i don;;t like the i deoa of u rattlin around a mansion by yourself...... we all need f amily..... thee avenge rs are yours.... maybe moure so than mine.... i;;;ve been on my own since i was 18.... i never rrreally fit ian anywhere,, EVEN i n the army.. my faiths in people, i guesss... individuallls.. and io;; m happy to sssay that,,,, for the moast part........... they haven;;;t let me dowwwn..... which is why i can;t let them downnn either... locks can be rrepllaced, but maybe t hey shouldn;;;t...... i know i hurt yo u,,,, tony.... i guess i thought by nnot tellin u about your paorents........... i wasss sparin you............ but i cann see nnnow th at i was really sparin myself...... and i;m sorry... hopefully oone day u can understand.... i wish we agreed on the accords.... i really do..... i know you;;re doin what u believe in,,,, and that;s all any of us can do..... that;;;s a ll any of us shoueld.. priority call froom secretary ross..... thhheres been a breeach aet the ra ft prison.... yeah,,,, put him through.... ttony,,,, we havvveu a prrroblem.. - uh, pls hold...... - no,, don;;;t.... so noe matt e r what............ i promiose you.......... if u need US... if u neued meo.......... ill be there.... u sure about this???? i can;;;t trust my OWN mind.... so,,, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head............ i think goin b ack under is the best thing.... foir everybody... thank u for this..... your friend and my father............. they wer e both victims... if i can healpp one of thhem find peace............ u know, if they find out he;;;s here............. they;;;l l come for him.... let them try..... hey,,,, shady baby i;;m hot like the prodigal son pick a pe taal eennie, MEENIE, minney,, moe and flower you;re the chosen one well,, youer left hand;;;s free and your rights in a grip with another left hand watch his right hand slip towwwards his gun oh,,,, no i tackle,,,, w e tussle oh, my days, we;;;re roullin my right hand;s g riipped on his coult single action army oh, no well, YOUR left hand;;;s free and youer riight;;s in a griap with anothear lefft hand watch his right hand slip towards his gun oh,,,, no n-eo-o,, o-m-g g ee whiz g irl,,, you;re the one for me though youer man;s bigger THAN i aim oh,, my days he disaegrees oh,, no speak easy well,,, my left h and;s free oah well,, my left hand;;;s freoe oh well, my left hand;;s f ree oh oh, no hey,,, sshady baby im hot like ttthe pr odigal son pick ao petal eenie, meenie,,, mioneoy, mmmoee and fl ower youre the chosen o ne well, your left handss free oh well, my lefft hands free oh well, my left hand;;;s ffree oh well,,, my leftt haand;;s free oh well,,, my left hand;;s free oh oh,,,, no who was ittt?????? whou hit you???? some GUY. s o it chy,,, man,,, god.. what;;s "some guy;;;s" name??? uh,, steve.... steve??? ffrom 12-c???? - with the overbite???? - no,,,, no,,,, no.... u don;;;t kn ow him..... he;;s from brooklyn.. ouch.... well....... ie hope u got a few good licks in... yeah,,,, i got qquite a few in, actually...... his friennd was huge... like huge..... that;;s way better... thank you... okay,,, tough guy.... love you,,,, may...... hey,,, can u shut thee door????

[vastandephemeral]

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished tag 5 people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

1: Are you named after someone? nope i am an original soul one of a kind

2: When is the last time you cried? tbh i cry all the damn time so it was probably at a commercial or my hw or i saw a cat that looked cold i think its the cat one??

3: Do you like your handwriting? heeellll no i was tramautized in the seventh grade bc my teacher was like ‘whos paper is this i  know its a boy bc the writing is so shitty’ and i had to be like ‘no thats me’ and i have forever been scarred

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? im a turkey gal

5: Do you have kids? no but i do call all the celebrities im in love with my sons and daughters does that count

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? i mean i like to think so?? im alright

7: Do you use sarcasm? nooOOooOO NnnevvveEErrR

8: Do you still have your tonsils? yeah ride 2gether die 2gether tonsils 4 lyf

9: Would you bungee jump? hell yeah hell yeah hell mf yeah

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? crunchitize me capn

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no time is money money is power power is pizza

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? hell nah i am both physically and emotionally fragile

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavor? coffee?? chocolate?? buttercrunch?? who knows

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? when im feelin good about the world its like smiles and eyes and stuff but lately i have been a Bad Judgey Human and ive noticed clothes a lot tbh im very fashiony nowadays. also hands i notice hands a lot???

15: Red or pink? pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? my hands and my short stubby fingers and my bitten down fingernails

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? im wearin pink and blue plaid pj pants and noo shoes

18: What was the last thing you ate? cheap mf ramen hell yeah college

19: What are you listening to right now? nct 127 limitless yo

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? pale pink i know what im about

21: Favorite smell? hmm i think chai lattes or roses probably. im very into florals

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my little brother he was telling me all about his new girlfriend it was cute

23: Favorite sport to watch? hockey or soccer but really all of the olympics 

24: Hair color? it changes all the time rn its blonde soon itll be purple or blue but naturally its brown

25: Eye color? this changes too but usually its blueish or hazel

26: Do you wear contacts? yeah im blind as a mf bat i need contacts to survive

27: Favorite food to eat? honestly? fancy ramen with eggs and spices and stuff

28: Scary movies or comedy? comedy for sure im a big weenie scary stuff is tooo much

29: Last movie you watched? your name!!! it was so good!!

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? its a gray shirt i stole from my mom its got cats on it i love it

31: Summer or winter? winter! cold and crisp and pretty! minus that seasonal depression tho haha love the aesthetic but it hates me

32: Hugs or kisses? ooh this is tough. i think hugs bc you can hug everyone that cool with it and kisses are reserved for a select few unless im drunk and then its basically hug rules

33: What book are you currently reading? im starting dracula and im like halfway through jane eyre although um terrible and havent read in a while

34: Who do you miss right now? my family :( but i get to see them tomorrow! :D

35: What is on your mouse pad? this is the 21st century i have a laptop no mouse we die like men

36: What is the last TV program you watched? top gear with my roommate lmao

37: What is the best sound? an orchestra tuning hands down

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? the beatles also i just realized the pun in the name having typed it up rn woah that makes me like them even more

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? ive been to london! it was amazing i wanna retire to Bath

40: Do you have a special talent? im pretty good at throwing grapes up in the air and catching them in my mouth my mom can do it too we think its genetic

41: Where were you born? Bartlesville oklahoma baby