#oof yeah that got very long

[sureuncertainty]

at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/

[pellucid-constellations]

Of Oblivious Minds (2)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: You're positive Azriel is in love with Elain. It seems so obvious. But Cassian is laughing at you and suddenly nothing makes quite so much sense anymore.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Angst!! More pining and yearning

a/n: Here is part two! I love writing this little series :) There will definitely be more! let me know what you think ♡♡

Part 1, Part 3

~~

Sometimes you hated being a scholar. 

There were plenty of upsides to having such a cushy job, especially when your employer was the high lord himself. You got paid generously, got free access to the best libraries, and never had to pay rent. Millions of fae would kill to have your position. 

But as Cassian punched you in the ribs—for the third time—you found yourself questioning your role within the night court’s inner circle.

“Okay,” you breathed out, hunching over with a hand cradling your side. “Okay, please, Cass. Can we take a break?” 

Unfortunately, Cassian didn’t appreciate quitters. So, your feet were abruptly swept from under you and your back made contact with the floor. With a soft oof, the wind was knocked from your lungs. 

“C’mon, y/n, you’re better than that. I know you are.” 

You responded with a wheeze, blinking into the pale sun. 

This morning had been rough.

You’d been having some trouble sleeping, but that wasn’t necessarily unusual. Being alive for so long meant you had seen quite a few things, so nightmares came and went with the tide. You were going through a rough patch with them at the moment, and the lack of sleep was starting to catch up with you.

“You planning on laying there for the rest of the day?” Cassian asked, his large silhouette coming to block the light. 

You squinted up at him. “Maybe.” 

“Yeah, not happening.” 

You fought back a whine as the Illyrian pulled you up by your shoulders and steadied you. He nodded, giving you a moment to ready yourself back into position, and then bent his knees. Gods, you were going to be so sore later. 

It didn’t take long for you to end up on the floor again, this time on your stomach. Your chin cracked against the padded ring, your teeth snapping together at the impact. The sound made your brain vibrate as you rolled onto your side and held your temple. 

Cassian crouched down to the floor beside you and you could make out his worried brow amidst the shakiness of your vision. 

“What’s going on with you?” He brought his hand up to brush against your already bruising jaw. “We’ve been working on that move for weeks. You had it a few days ago.” 

You breathed through your nose and tried not to groan at the ache rolling through your body. “I think I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping very well.” 

At that, Cassian plopped down to a seat, keeping a hand at your elbow as you brought your own body up to mirror his. 

“You want to talk about it?” he questioned. 

“There isn’t much to say. I can’t remember them this time. It’s kind of strange—usually I remember them too much and that’s what makes it worse.” 

Cassian hummed in contemplation. He was always the one you went to the morning after a sleepless night. Cassian would listen as you talked through your nightmares, and you would do the same for him. He was a logical pillar in your life. 

But it was always Azriel you went to in the midst of them. You never talked about what you saw and he never asked. But it was always Azriel in the middle of the night. His shadows were a comfort in the pitch black and he was always quick to wrap his wings around you when it became too hard to breathe. 

You hadn’t gone to him these last few times.

The fact that you couldn’t remember your dreams was an unfortunate factor. Because if you knew what was causing you to wake up in a cold sweat every night, at least then you could talk about it. Or take a moment to rationalize. 

There was no rationalizing when the only thing you had to go off of was fear and hurt. 

“What does Azriel think?” Cassian asked after a small lapse in silence.

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, when you go to his room at night. What does he have to say about you not remembering?” 

You scoffed. And then scoffed again. “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about, I barely do that.” 

Cassian stared at you with a blank expression. “So we’re still doing that then. Got it.” He heaved himself up from the ground and then yanked you up alongside him.

“Still doing what?” you asked, trailing behind him as he reached for his canteen. He didn’t answer you, favoring the long gulps of water he was taking. You waited for him to finish and then asked again. He chose to unwrap his knuckles instead. “Cassian.” 

The man sighed. “Nothing, y/n. It’s just… It wasn’t a secret that you would go to his room after you had a rough night. Why do you think I never dragged you out here those mornings?” You cringed at his words. He shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Why do you hide it?” 

You didn’t have a good reason—well, you didn’t used to. You’d always sneak out of his room after the sun rose and never bring it up again. And there was never a solid explanation for why you evaded the topic. You knew Azriel would never hold it against you and you weren’t embarrassed for others to know that you sought out comfort in a friend. It just seemed like something you should keep to yourself. 

Now, though—now there was a good reason to wipe your actions from memory. To pretend they never happened and to never repeat them. 

“Cassian, Elain is my friend. Even if I did that in the past—in a friendly way—it would be wrong now.” 

A muscle in Cassian’s jaw twitched. “Right. Have you ever actually talked to Elain about her feelings?” 

“I don’t need to.” You reached down for your own water, ignoring the twinge in your side and the pulsing in your head. “She never stops talking about him. And they’re always together. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were already seeing each other.” 

“Who’s seeing each other?” 

The cool tone of Azriel’s voice washed over you and you whipped around to find him standing at the foot of the training ring, blades in hand. 

A nervous laugh fell from your lips and you fought the urge to slap your hand over your mouth. “Um, no one, just some friends I know.” 

“Who?” he asked again. 

“Oh, you don’t know them. Old friends.” 

The Shadowsinger raised a brow, sending Cassian a fleeting look. “I thought I knew all of your friends.” 

“You don’t. I know way more people than you. Even though you're older than me. Not by that much, though. Have you talked to Elain lately?” Words were spewing from your mouth in the worst combinations. You were never nervous around Azriel. What in the cauldron was wrong with you?

Azriel’s raised brow turned into a furrowed one and he blinked, assessing your face with a scrutinizing gaze. “Do you have a concussion?” He turned the Cassian, expression going from confused to provoked. “Did you give her a concussion?” 

“Honestly, maybe.” 

“I don’t have a concussion,” you rushed out, cutting off Cassian’s admission. “I was just leaving though. I’m tired. You guys can fight each other.” 

There was so much sudden pent-up energy inside of you that you had no intention of sleeping, but just seeing Azriel made you feel like you were intruding on something. Which was absurd. Azriel was your friend and had been your friend for centuries. Just because he loved Elain didn’t mean you had to avoid him. 

But this energy had to come from somewhere, and that somewhere was telling you to avoid him like the Illyrian flu. 

Making a break for it, you freed yourself from the training ring and attempted to skate past Azriel with a quick side smile, but he apparently had other plans. He caught your wrist as you walked past, glancing up at a “preoccupied” Cassian before turning to you with his wing out, giving the illusion of a private conversation. 

“You’re not sleeping well?” he asked, voice low. 

You warped your smile into one that met both sides of your mouth. “I’m okay.” 

Shadows crept over his shoulders and along his ears. His expression shifted and pinched and then returned neutral. “You know you can come to me if you need it.” 

“I’m okay, Az. Really.” 

“Would you tell me if you weren’t?”

Maybe before. 

“I’m a paper pusher, Az. I’m not out in the throes of battle,” you jested, scrunching your nose as you smiled up at him. “Nothing is that serious for me.” 

A lie. Something was that serious—serious enough to keep you up at night for the past week—but you couldn’t figure out what it was. 

“That is not what I asked,” he countered, sliding his hand up from your wrist to turn your chin. “You need to ice your jaw. Cassian shouldn’t be so rough with you.” 

“I’m okay,” you said again, words a pathetic repetition because your heart was beating so fast now and you needed to leave. Something was pulling at your chest and you needed to leave. 

“As you’ve said,” Azriel muttered, his fingers brushing down along the column of your throat. When his eyes flickered up and met your own, something inside of you lost its alignment.

You looked away before the feeling could return. Everything righted itself. You took a wobbly step back. 

“Have a good training session.” 

You turned on your heel and stalked away, feeling equal parts the betrayer and the betrayed. 

~~

“You mean that girl off-continent? The one from a century ago?” 

Cassian hummed. “Yeah, her. What I wouldn’t give for a visit from her.” 

“You’re a pig,” Mor replied, a scoff sharp on her lips.

“She didn’t think so.” 

You were eavesdropping. You didn’t like to, but somehow, in the time you’d spent in the inner circle, you’d picked up the habit. Oops.

Technically, you weren’t really eavesdropping. You had been in the room first. It wasn’t your fault Cassian and Mor decided to speak very loudly with only a few shelves separating you. If they wanted privacy they should have checked the area. 

“Is it that hard for you to get laid? You have to search off-continent?” 

Cassian’s responding laugh was almost defensive. “I’m sure you’d love to know about my sex life.” 

“I really wouldn’t, actually. You brought it up.” Mor paused. You heard her shift on the lounge chair. “I am, however, interested in Azriel’s.” 

“Aren’t we all,” Cassian droned. “Pretty obvious that he doesn't have one at the moment. Hasn’t had one in a while.” 

You felt your neck jolt at the reveal of that information. Azriel always kept his partners discrete, but you’d always known he’d had them. Many of them. You had no idea who they were or where he met them, but you would hear the girls occasionally... smell their perfume on a few rare nights. 

“You think? This whole time?” Mor asked, curiosity raising her voice an octave. 

“Mor, I think the sight of other females makes him want to vomit.” 

The book in your lap was all but obsolete. 

“Don’t be so dramatic.” 

Cassian tsked. “I’m not. He’s told me.” 

“I suppose that’s what having a mate does to a person.” 

Your fingers became abnormally cold, the center of your chest caving slightly.

Azriel had a mate? No, he would have told you.

He would have told you. 

Mor’s sweet voice slammed against your ears, harsh despite its nature. “Do you think he’ll tell her soon?” 

Cassian’s reply had you standing on shaking knees. “Hope so. He’s so in love with her it's suffocating. You should see when—” 

You were out of the room in a wisp, sliding out the small back door. The book you’d been reading was still clutched in your frozen grip and you held it against your chest as breathing became impossible. With a hand pressed to the wall and your head hung low, you sucked in air, greedy for some type of reprieve. 

You were happy for him. You were so, so happy for him. 

Right? 

The book fell from your grip, clattering to the floor. The pages collapsed in on themselves as it fell face down, and you listened to the paper crumple as your throat closed. Both hands now pressed to the cold wall. Why were you freezing? 

This made sense. It made sense. 

Of course Azriel had a mate and of course it was… Elain? 

No, it couldn’t be Elain. Elain was Lucien’s mate. 

Now you were confused as well as consumed. Your body was left aching from training and your mind was in a frenzy and you couldn’t even understand why you were reacting the way you were. 

It was completely plausible that Azriel had a mate and didn’t tell anyone about it. He was a private male who kept his lovers to himself, so of course he would keep his mate to himself as well. But he did tell someone about it. He told Cassian. And Mor knew. 

Your fingernails dug into stone.

Azriel didn’t love you. 

The thought came on so suddenly that you almost looked over your shoulder. It was as if the words had been whispered in your ear by some cruel, vicious wind. 

You had never cared if Azriel loved you before, because you knew that he did love you. Like a sister. You were Azriel’s family and he was yours. 

But as the thought of Azriel having a mate invaded your mind once more, your shaky legs propelled you forward, running from the creased book and the hallway that contained all of the worst things. 

You ran until you couldn't, until your toes hit the edge of the balcony on the far side of the house and the cool air of winter hit your cheeks. You had been so cold inside, but somehow the breeze felt even colder across your skin. 

“Y/n?” 

You gasped, whipping around and gripping the railing as it pressed into your spine. You couldn’t formulate words as Azriel stood before you. His hands raised up to his waist, reaching for you as he took in the way your chest heaved.

“What’s happened? What’s wrong?” he rushed. 

You only shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut. Embarrassment and confusion and a twisted sort of fear coursed through you. You couldn't look at him, afraid you would somehow see the bond connected to his chest—somehow notice things about him you hadn’t before. Maybe another shade of hazel in his eyes or a softness to his lips that you had never looked for. 

As you considered it now, it was obvious that you’d never let yourself look. 

Azriel was never supposed to be yours. 

“Talk to me, angel.” Azriel’s sweet whisper brushed against your skin. He was so close to you. You could feel him, but you refused to look. 

To see how everything had changed. 

“Let me fix it.” 

You heard the rush of wind from his wings as he expanded them outwards, followed closely behind by the whirling of his shadows, and it all clicked then. 

The images came quickly, dissipating just as fast. But they did their job, sending heavy, hot tears past the tight scrunch of your eyelids. 

Azriel with Elain. Azriel with Mor. Azriel with random, faceless women.

Him, in every iteration, with everyone that wasn’t you. 

That’s what had kept you up—the dreams plaguing your every resting moment. And you realized then that nothing had really changed at all. That you’d been in love with Azriel for longer than you’d been in love with anything. 

Your jaw trembled, your body rejecting the anguish that swept through you. Wind softly flowed from the west, swaying your skirts with a gentleness that made your breath shudder. That kind of gentleness was impossible. The world felt so cruel. 

“Y/n, tell me what happened. Should I get someone else?” Azriel pleaded. “Should I get Rhys?” 

Rhys could knock you out, and that would surely be a relief. You felt paralyzed by this overwhelming array of devastation. But Rhys would also have access to your thoughts. 

You shook your head. “No,” you said, but the word was lost in the wind. Azriel seemed to hear it anyway. “No, I want—I need to—go to sleep.” 

“You need to go to sleep?” He touched you now, something he seemed to have been avoiding. His hands came to rest behind your neck, thumbs at your jaw, and you pried your eyes open at the contact. You’d never seen the shadowsinger look so ruined, his hair askew, his eyes wild and panicked. “That doesn’t make any sense.” 

His expression was beseeching you for something you couldn’t give him. You hiccuped your next words out. 

“I’m—’m tired.” 

You wished you’d stayed oblivious. That you had never become privy to the depth of your feelings. 

This pain was immeasurable.

[n3ptoonz]

BEGGING you to make more sub mk men content 😭 they're always dom in all the other hc's and it's refreshing to see something that's my cup of tea lol

oh? like this? throws this post behind me like a bouquet toss earthrealm guys here

mk1 hcs: how the outworld guys react to you riding them

y'all sure do love headcanons LMFAOO

i always try my best for most of the outworld cast cause i'm truly an earthrealm girly, but i got yall. yall really challenge me 😵‍💫

Shang Tsung

This sly mf. He thought when you suggested riding, he'd be the one watching you writhe, but it's quite the opposite. Little did you know it was all an act. A fib; fairytale. He wants power, of course, but in the bedroom it's entirely different

Nothing will get him to submit fast than treating him like a common harlot. He's in desperate need of hair pulling, degradation, maybe even act like you're trying to kill him. He's into that shit! He's an aggressive man, so he should be treated as such

I'm talking fully dog this man out while you ride him. It'll drive him mad and make him crave it. Hell, slap him around and call him names and his gasps, groans, and deep whimpers will clear the air in no time! If you add small weapons to the mix or like a role play thing it's ON

He's literally the meme "don't bully me i'll cum" so do with that what you will!

Rain

Rain sexy ass...OOF. That smug "i am a demigod" attitude is punted out the window when you ride him. One single stroke of his hair and a caress of the jaw and just like that he's a slut!

Give him praises. He wouldn't handle degradation too well. On the outside he appears to have his shit together and doesn't have a care in the world about anybody else but his studies (and you), but he likes to be taken care of

If you want to be rougher or if he asks you to, really just pull his hair/give him love bites. idk it might just be me but i just wanna bite him sooo we're gonna say he likes bites! He's also super handsy but mostly when he's close

He's not very vocal but when he is i can see him as the kinda man that like...purrs, if that makes sense? If it don't i say he's a grunter and from groan city: population him

Reiko

Reiko has a hard time being submissive, but you just make it a little easier for him. You kinda have to coax him into it before every time you get intimate because he's made it clear he can do both and wants to try submitting more to the person he loves

It was your suggestion after a long time away for a mission. Poor dude was stressed da hell out! He's like Rain, a sucker for praise. Now that i'm really picturing it he'd prob be down to smother his face into your chest cause like, that's hot to him

When he's feeling particularly spicy definitely tie him down so he can't pull free no matter how much brute strength he uses. Hold his face and never break eye contact, he's all yours! If you call him any name that has the word "strong" in it he's like puddy in your hands

Prime grunt man here. He ain't whimpering unless you deny him of something, even then it goes from a coarse tone to soft

General Shao

Siiggghhhh 🙄 Shao likes the riding position the most. That's all thanks for coming to my Ted talk

LOL JUST KIDDING😹 He would appear like he's incapable of submission but like, this is YOU we're talking about. And he'd do anything for you. Literally.

A little birdy told me he loves when you grab his horns. Grab his horns. Grab them and make him look at you. This unbreakable wall of man yearns to be conquered by someone like you. Someone who dared to challenge him and never back down? By the Gods he has a breeding knk whether you can have kids or not. oh yeah, he'd beg. plead. he's gasping for air like pls just don't stop riding him LMAO he needs his mind off taking the throne for a few hours

whimpering little bitch which eventually turn into growls and grunts. takes a bow

Reptile

Syzoth is so subby I literally cannot picture him dominating a soul. Ashrah got that man on hold fr but anyway this about you

Typa dude to tear up when you ride him. You just look so damn good, and you make him feel so damn good. Dizzy eyes that he can barely keep open; I feel like he'd go brain numb from how fast he feels pleasure

I'm talking like because he's not originally human he's more sensitive. Now hear me out guys...two dicks....AHEM. DONT SHOOT THE MESSENGER!! Both his dicks are very sensitive OHHHHHHHHH Reduce him to a sobbing, stuttering, gasping, mess. He needs it, wants it, loves it. It's up to you if you'd ride him in his og form ya nasty. He'd also have a tendency to leave bite marks on you like your chest, neck, and shoulders

Mister whimper over here there's nothing else he does but whimper and cry jesus almighty somebody give this man a HUG (hug him while you fuck him dumb/busts)

Havik

Banging my head against the wall rn lemme tap in...ok we here let's go.

Another kombatant who peruses power, but also very much attracted to it. He definitely likes to be dominated. He'd be into some real kinky shit too i know it. Literally all the above he don't wanna think about SHIT

He would thoroughly enjoy being completely helpless at your disposal as you ride him. He likes degradation more than praises but if you do give him the kind of praise that inflates his already massive ego. shoot down his arrogance while also maintaining it he fucking lives for it. he likes being choked or slapped too keep that in mind

This bitch growls and that's it. bro ain't got the lips to really make different sounds LMAO?? get yo fuckin dog bitch!!!

Baraka

You might be insane but we love that haha...! Monster fucker certificate checked at the door i understand i do

Absolutely no degradation here DO NOT!! Mf might start crying or give a monologue either way, steer clear. Be nice to him!!

He likes to be held, and he likes holding his partner. If this was confident Baraka from the previous timeline I'd say he likes fast and crazy over slow and romantic but that's not the case. Be immersed and in the moment with him, he clings onto the human interactions he got stripped from him 😞

Growls but that's mostly bc he deadass don't have lips either LMFAO😭

a/n: tearing my skin off rn I DID IT GUYS I DID IT TELL ME IM GREAT😎author likes praise too.

[nocturnalcharm]

SWF Alphabet (Logan Howlett)

𐙚 cw: mention of sex briefly, cursing

𐙚 a/n: all of these are just my ~opinions~ so feel free to disagree w me lol also maybe a lil self indulgent so probs not v accurate to wolvie but its alr :,) NOT PROOFREAD

18+ blog!! you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any of the above makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

— doesn’t start out affectionate, but once you’ve got a deep connection, he becomes more affectionate. loves hugs and surprising you with gifts

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

— would start bc of the team obv. feel like he’d be the type of friend where,,, if you called him at 3am, for any reason, he’d be out of the house and otw to you at 3:01.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

— as much as i want to say yes.. like realistically no. bc nightmares and claws and trauma. but likeeee this is my blog bitch so yes hehe. he’s a big cuddle bug. def likes to be the big spoon but doesn’t mind being a lil spoon sometimes.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

— yes, he could see himself settling down but doesn’t rly care for getting married though, he just doesn’t see the point of it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

— (im crying) if he HAD to, i feel like he’d push it off and become more distant until you ask him what’s wrong, then he’d tell you everything. ookaY NEXT I DONT WANNA BE SAD

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

— i feel like he wouldn’t want to get married, not for a specific reason, just like doesn’t see the point. is committed to you though and if it was rly important to you, he would.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

— hA. physically yes very gentle unless ur having sex. emotionally………. nah. like if it’s a rly serious situation then yeah but he might not realize how serious something is until he’s already made an ass out of himself and then he’s like //oh shit i fucked up//

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

— heheh… yes. he hugs you all the time. literally always. coming up behind you while you’re cooking, or brushing your teeth and bear hugs you. he just likes touching you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

— oof. he takes awhile to say it. he def says it first though. but like.. awhile. probably like a year.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

— WHEWWWW I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. he’s very jealous. he says he’s not. but his actions show otherwise. like says he’s fine but can’t keep his hands off you (when he normally hates PDA) ugh i love it. just wants to show everyone you’re his.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

— passionate. leaves you wanting more. he likes to kiss you allllll overrrr. he likes to be kissed on his neck. and his chest when you’re cuddling and he doesn’t have a shirt on. and lips but duh.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

— cautious, like kinda scared. especially around babies. doesn’t know how to handle them lol

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

— sleepy, cuddly mornings. staying in bed for as long as possible.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

— i like to think you two stay up late together. watching movies, cooking food at midnight, you two often fall asleep on the couch instead of the bed

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

— he doesn’t start getting rly personal until he knows you’re someone to trust, but it’d take awhile. he reveals things slowly.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

— unless you do something to really piss him off, which you wouldnt, i feel like he’d be chill (with u only obv, angry wolvie w everyone else)

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

— sorry but like he remembers every detail you’ve told him. he comes home randomly with a specific candy bar you mentioned you like ONCE 2 years ago and is so proud of himself.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

— when he first said “i love you”. he was so vulnerable and scared honestly but everything was fine and you said it back!!

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

— VERY. VERY BITCH. he will cut a bitch to protect you. literally. ‘touch her and you die’ vibes.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

— i kinda feel like unless it’s something rly important, he wouldn’t put that much effort in but not bc he doesn’t care. bc you like to go over the top and plan out everything lol

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

— isn’t great at communication. prob bottles things up until he kinda blows up whoooops. he definitely tries but has a hard time opening up.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

— he cares, have u seen his lil tufts? isn’t obsessed but puts effort into his appearance. just wants to look good for you!!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

— ummm yes. it takes a lot for him to open up & be comfortable around someone so if you just weren’t there anymore, for whatever reason, he would feel incomplete

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

— imagining him getting ready for date and he’s styling his lil tufts and ur waiting on him like ‘babe hurry we’re gonna be late!!’ and he’s just trying to perfect his hair so he looks good for you omg

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

— as a yapper this hurts to say but… if you talk too much i feel like it’d annoy him. just imaging you going on and on and on and in his head he’s like ‘get to the mf point ohmygoddddd’

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

— like i mentioned earlier, accidentally falling asleep on the couch lol. sorry but he snores and you have to shake him to make him stop

[wizardpink]

I screencapped these two posts four days ago because I had Something to Say and now I have no idea wth it was.

I think it had something to do with power dynamics and how Armand making Daniel a vampire actually handed Daniel a huge amount of power over Armand despite being the fledgling?

So number one Armand rendered his primary weapon against Daniel / form of self-defense completely useless by making Daniel his fledgling. He can no longer use the mind gift to manipulate Daniel or erase his memories. Which of course is true for all makers and fledglings, but most makers' fledglings aren't Sherlock Holmes with a BSJ. Daniel beat Armand's mental saw trap as a human. Armand is never, never getting one over on him now. Daniel will perceive the slightest change in energy coming from Armand and immediately know that he's lying, and 3 seconds of deduction later and he'll know why. He's an open book now, which must be terrifying.

Number two: mentorship. This is how Lestat kept control over Claudia and Louis for so long: he kept them dependent on him through ignorance. He only told them enough about vampirism to get through the day to day: don't go in the sun, don't drink dead blood, the other vampires of the world are vicious, etc. Every fledging needs their maker at LEAST in the beginning to teach them the ropes. Well, Daniel just wrote the goddamned book on vampirism, literally. Daniel sat there and listened as Louis told him everything he knew, everything Lestat ever taught him, everything Armand ever taught him. What other vampire ever got the in-depth two week course on Vampires 101 before they even got turned?! Crazy stuff.

Number three: vampire loneliness. Supposedly the most cruel and painful thing a vampire can endure. It keeps fledglings and makers tied to each other well past the point of being able to stand each other. And god knows Armand is staring down the barrel of having no one but Daniel. Which is unfortunate for him, considering Daniel is besties with his ex husband and touring with his ex boyfriend. Daniel has friends, friends that didn't torture him for 4 days then try to kill him. Oof.

All of this is to say that, with the info we have right now, Daniel has very little need for Armand. Armand in comparison needs him at least not to be alone, but what leverage does he have to get Daniel to stay with him? He's got nothing babes. I'm not a strong believer in the Armand is running from Daniel theory on season 3, but if he is, it's hard to blame him. He is shooting 0 for 1,000 right now, losing left and right, dying of shame and guilt and embarrassment. I'd probably crawl in a hole and die too.

"Oh but wizardpink, that's not very Devil's Minion of you!" AU CONTRAIRE. Because what could be more compelling and romantic than someone who has no use for you but nevertheless wants you? Thinks about you constantly and doesn't know why? You tried to capture them in a glass jar but they broke out and flew away, only to flutter back because they missed you? Yeah inject that straight into my veins.

And on the flip side? Maybe Armand goes straight back to that headspace he was in in '73, the crazed look in his eyes when he told Daniel he was going to teach him to be fascinating. That's ONE thing Armand still has on Daniel, he could probably overpower him enough to keep him trapped somewhere, if Armand thought Daniel was going to leave him. This, too, is Devil's Minion as fuck. Slowest of burns, as they say.

Hmm. Yeah I guess that was what I was gonna say.

[cyberrose2001]

Under Pressure

MTMTE Rodimus x Reader

GRAHH SURPRISE!!!!

Relic and I have been... discussing... very hard about an ask they got a couple days ago so I wrote this eheh (THANK YOU FOR DISCUSSING THIS WITH ME AND LETTING ME WRITE THIS ILY)

Also please yell at me if I forgot any warnings!

Loosely based of this ask over on @callsign-relic's blog

Warnings: Human reader, Giant/Tiny, Non-Con(?), Nocturnal emission, Crack fic(?)

Word count: 1,887

18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

Rodimus denies it every time, but he's a heavy sleeper. He snores like a congested rhino; he constantly sets twelve alarms that only barely stir him from his slumber. Despite being captain of the ship, his sleep schedule is far from tip-top shape.

And no, you're not a stalker. You're just Rodimus' observant little 'pet' human, always there, with a California king on his bedside dresser. Yeah, you're treated like royalty by an incredibly hard-to-deny hot alien robot.

So, as the ship ventured further into deep space and the nights got colder, you whined and begged to stay with him.

Rodimus was very hesitant to let you join him in the berth. As much as he cared about you and would kill an army for you, he didn't want to accidentally kill you, which was very much a possibility in any scenario on this ship. But he caved. You had mastered the sad, wet cat look, and Rodimus had the willpower of a rock.

Relishing in victory, you're curled up comfortably against Rodimus' lower plating for the third consecutive night in a row, warmed by the large servo of a sleeping giant. The entire palm of his hand covers your back in subconscious protection, and every so often, you feel a twitch of one digit. It's tranquility and a rare comfort, the touch of another you haven't felt since being on earth.

Until he rolls over.

Rodimus, choking on his snores, flips over onto his stomach and nearly tosses you off the berth if not for the grip he has on you. Despite almost winding you and making an audible 'Oof' sound, he doesn't wake up, his unconscious body assuming another comfortable position.

It takes you a few moments to register what the fuck just happened, but you realise that you're now underneath Rodimus. Almost his entire body weight is now pressed against you and pins you to the berth.

Oh god, you think to yourself.

This is less than ideal; this was not supposed to happen. How the hell are you, a tiny ass human, supposed to get out from under him? You probably shouldn't even be alive right now with how restricted your breathing is, not to mention how hard he flopped on top of you. But thankfully, with how Rodimus' legs have fallen into position, it leaves you with just enough room for your chest to rise and fall.

"God." You whine, muffled as your cheeks squish against his abdominal plating.

Your mind runs wild as you try to think of a way out. Maybe he'll just roll over again soon? God, you hope so; you can handle only so much weight, and Rodimus feels like he could hold down a cargo ship. Probably because he can.

But until then, however long that may be, you need to try something at least.

"Rodimus?" You try to wiggle but to no avail. He has you pinned pinned, and you use what little breath you have to yell out to him, "Hello? Are you awake or what?"

A loud, seemingly exaggerated snore replies to you. He's still deep in recharge, ruining any chance you have of waking him up yourself. You try to use your nails to scratch the surface of his frame, hoping it would tickle him or something, but that doesn't work either.

"Great." You roll your eyes, only you would ever end up in this type of situation. If only you had listened to Rodimus when he first said no, then you wouldn't be currently experiencing a near death experi-

"Y/n..." Rodimus' hoarse voice crackles above you, sending vibrations through your bones.

"Oh, thank god," You sigh in relief. You attempt to wiggle around some more, hoping to get his attention this time, "Listen, can you get off me now? This kinda hur-"

You squeak softly in pain as his sharp pelvis presses against you, and you hear your name again. This time, though, the tone of his voice came out as a whine, like a soft plea.

Because of where you were positioned before you became a pea under a princess' tower of mattresses, Rodimus' lower panels rested right against your stomach. This means you can feel his panels start to bulge slightly.

Oh no, you think to yourself bleakly once again. You're not sure how similar Cybertronian anatomy is to humans, apart from a crude explanation by an engex drunk Swerve. Still, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're feeling him getting hard. Putting two-and-two together using two out of the five senses, you've realised that Rodimus is nearly boner deep in a wet dream.

And not to assume, but you're thinking that the star of the show is you.

It's also the wrong time to cackle to yourself about getting crushed by your crush.

You might have some issues to work out after with Rung.

"Oh fuck," You reasonably panic, trying to push against his heavy frame weakly with your pinned arms, "Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

You start to thrash against Rodimus when your arms fail, your tiny body rubbing up against him. This doesn't help at all, you've come to realise but actually digs you in a deeper hole as he begins to rock his pelvis into you.

Rodimus moans your name again as he sleepily grinds against you. Whatever he's dreaming of, it must be an insanely hot pornographic fantasy of you. The bulge grows bigger, pining you down further into the berth. He shutters and lets out a soft groan before his plating shifts, and you feel a very thick, very hard, and very hot object slide up against you.

Oh god, it's his dick.

Swerve might not have told you all the details, but he seemed to conveniently leave out how fucking huge Cybertronian cocks are.

As if you thought this couldn't get any more debilitating, you now have the head of Rodimus' spike pressing against your face. It's as if the Alaskan bull worm had slithered up between yourself and Rodimus to give you a kiss. The behemoth of baggage has already started leaking what you would believe would be the Cybertronian equivalent to pre-cum, smearing all across your face.

At this significant turn of events, you've realised you have come to a crossroads.

Either struggle and continue to wiggle and wrangle your way out from under him, but risk pleasuring him, whether or not he could feel you squirming against him anyway with how small you are compared to it. Or, the more realistic and obtainable outcome, lie still and take it until he wakes up from an orgasm.

Who are you kidding? You don't have much of a choice at all. Both options risk you drowning in alien robot cum. It's wishful thinking as Rodimus starts to rut against your entire body again.

"Y/n..." He whimpers again, though very garbled and unintelligible. Every roll of his hips causes more pre-cum to dribble against your face and down your chest, and with each, it spreads all around in between yourself and his train-sized spike. Making an absolute mess of you.

If you weren't getting humped up against right now, you would indeed find a way to kill him for ruining your only set of pajamas.

"Rodimus-" You gag as a spurt of pre-cum falls into your mouth, "Guh- Rodimus stop-"

His work of venting increases, and so does his rutting. The comatose mech gasps and hitches his breath, oblivious to your cries and pleas for him to stop. He pushes up against you in heated desperation, fucking into your soft body like a grind pad.

"Rodimus! Wake the fuck up!" You start to heat up yourself; the increased pressure and friction of his plating will give you a fucked up version of carpet burn if he doesn't wake up. Sweat drips from your skin, adding even more lubricant to his incessant grinding.

"Wha- Oh, Primus!" Rodimus rears his drool-covered helm and cries out in equal confusion and unrestrained pleasure. He's woken up by his overload as he shoots his load up against you, flooding the minimal empty space left between you both with hot transfluid.

"Oh god-" You couldn't close your mouth in time when a spurt of transfluid hit you in the face, causing you to cough and spit it back out, only for more to splat you in the face.

Rodimus moans tiredly, shuttering violently as his spike pulses and leaks the remainder of his overload against the berth.

Or what he thought was the berth. Since when did he use a self-service mod on his spike? Especially when he shares a room with-

"Hey!" Cough, "Are you done?"

His optics slam open in horrific realisation.

"Oh no," Rodimus rolls over onto his back, his softened wet spike flopping against his abdominal plating, "Oh no, no, no..."

He looks down where he once lay, and his face plates flush a bright blue. Laying in a puddle of his transfluids was you, his little human, sopping wet with a highly unimpressed look on your tiny face.

"Oh Primus, Y/n," Rodimus scoops you up in his servos, gently tossing you from hand to hand as he wrings them off his transfluids, "I am so sorry, I- frag what was I thinking!" Rodimus babbles and holds you to his face, "Are you okay? God, I'm so stupid-"

"Ughh," You lay limply in his palm, exhausted and out of breath, "After that... I don't know anymore."

Rodimus hides his blush with a servo before pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm glad you're okay, but what were you doing down there?"

"Great question," You lift your head up to deadpan him, then eventually drag yourself to sit up. Sticky, pink transfluid drips down your body. Your face, and hair, are all drenched in him, "It's not like you rolled over in your sleep and had me pinned for nearly half an hour. What the hell?"

Rodimus blinks, and his face turns a deeper shade of blue as he rubs the back of his neck, "Oh, so that's why I had that dream about you..."

Is he serious right now?

"Oh, you think?" You wipe your lip when it starts to drip into your mouth, "I think I could tell when you started moaning my name in your sleep."

"Well, you're just so tiny and soft and-" The red and yellow mech bites the knuckles of the servo not holding you in embarrassment. "But what was I supposed to do, huh? Hold it in?"

God, he is.

"I'm literally gonna kill you, Rodimus." You shiver, his transfluids cooling against your skin. You can't believe he dares to look you in the eye, "I am never begging to nap with you ever again, or maybe at least warn me next time."

"No offense taken," Rodimus nods in agreement for once, watching you wring your hair out, "I'm sorry, Y/n, I really am. I can help clean you up? As a sincere apology from yours truly?"

"As long as I don't come into contact with more of this stuff," You flick a bead of transfluid off your finger into his direction, "And you better be sorry, or it'll be a long time before I might actually let you fuck me."

"Wait, you'll what-" Splat, "EWUGH!!"

[m1ssunderstanding]

Let it Be Close-watch

Paul, sweety, it's beautiful, but it's killing the vibe.

Ringo looks like a very old, very tired lab rat whose been put through the maze a few too many times

Somehow the air-brown mostly eaten apple is very appropriate.

She looks far too sweet here to ever let John down. Yoko has very kind eyes.

I love how it makes it seem like Paul and John are calling Maxwell “the corny one” but really we know from Get Back that they're talking about a particular arrangement they were trying out for Don't Let me Down.

I swear he's saying “John” there, not “Joan” and also he said “came down upon His head” so… Oh! And Max died in the end in this version? “Sure that Max was dead” Okay. So Paul kills John and then himself. Murder suicide story. Yeah, Paul, you're doing great mentally, we can all tell.

I love how George getting electrocuted was important enough to make the cut for both films. Poor baby. “If this boy dies you're gonna cop it” from the guy who was just singing about a serial killer.

They're so silly

Yoko does not agree with me

Paul: stealing your man, sweetheart. John: oh no I'm being stolen teehee!

They're so silly

Oh wait, were those bitchy looks at George??? Because there he is. Idk could easily be him or Yoko.

this poor autistic baby trying to use words (not his language) to explain music (his language)

“Good MoOornin! Wooah!” I think I just … You know how Mike said people were booing Paul in the theater watching this? Yeah it's because they were pissed he didn't step out of the screen and onto their necks.

Oh Michael put himself in his own movie too? Huh, cool.

They are always in my heart

The way Paul says “get on the mic” to John??? I would've thrown something, that was so fucking bossy! Just his tone and his face and his angry pointing fingers. So mean. And John just goes “okaaay”. Oof.

Ringo covering his eyes like a little kid watching a scary movie during the orange sweater fight. Same, babe.

Sounds like the original lyric John's going for is something long “All I want is you. Nothing else is gonna do.” But that obviously didn't fit with the tune. I wonder if there was a particular conversation with Paul being controlling that made the “everything has got to be the way you want it to” line click in.

Oh my gosh! So George is showing I Me Mine to Ringo and Paul and he says the “I don't give a fuck it can go in musical” line before he even plays it. Not after John's making fun of him like he does in Get Back. Nagra reels experts: which one is correct??

George: it's a heavy waltz. Ringo:*claps hands angrily and punches the air to a ¾ beat. I love him, he's like the core of “Beatle humor” to me.

Woah there! Okay this is the John/Yoko pda Peter Jackson cut, I see. I wonder if there's a lot more footage of them swapping spit that might make the “oh John was just so in love” theory more reasonable.

It's extremely impressive that George just wrote this whole thing last night. You know? John and Paul have brought in all fragments from what I can tell. He's the only one to come in with a basically finished product.

LMAO and we're just going to Apple now. No reason. Nothing happened. Nothing to see. Moving on.

Ringo is so so cute pretending to hide from the cameras. Really he should've been the cute one.

Is it just me or does Paul drop the sillies and get sad when he sings “always be mine” at John? It's his regular voice, too, for a minute, if I'm not mistaken.

Silly cuties. But John's grin and little sexy tongue action happens the second time Paul sings always be mine, so…

What friendly artistic collaboration looks like when it's not psychosexual

Paul: have you played the dubs? George: yeah. Terrible. Paul: Great! Ringo: terrible. John: laughs Paul: (sarcastic) oh, so dreadful. …. John: where's my guitar? Paul: (still sarcastic) well we're just the greatest band ever. Idk I just like this dialogue. It's very them, you know?

This is adorable.

But I also love how they're already communicating with eyebrows, you know? They just bonded so fast and I find that beautiful.

And then Heather ups their game from taking turns going “chchchchch” into the mic to meowing into the mic. She looks at Paul like “okay your turn” and he sets her down lol he's thinking ‘if I meow into the mic right now after John already had a sex dream last night about me, he might actually cream his pants and we can't have that on camera’

Lol Billy just magically appeared!

Paul you're literally so annoying. You started the goofing off and now you're like “alright lads, that's enough.” Mkay.

He is unbelievably sexy and talented though so you know he does have those little things going for him. Someone write me a Paul/Billy fic please!!

Kinda crazy how they all four just slide straight from “Kansas City” to “Miss Ann” to “Lawdy Miss Claudy”. Makes me think of something they might've done in Hamburg.

I'm sorry but Paul finishes “please don't excite me baby. I'm down in misery.” And John's immediate answer is, “well you can get it if you want it, and if you want it you can get it!” And Paul ends up singing “I want it I want it I want it I want it”. Nice. Very subtle, boys. And that's before John gets kinky.

I love how Heather just forces a hug from George and then immediately runs away. What a cutie.

But really. How did anyone watching this get the idea that John hated Paul? Just confirmation bias I guess?

All the cut off conversations kill me but especially the one where John's working though Paul's anxieties. They're just in the middle of it and then cut. “two of us Sunday driving…”

Someone should do a study of whistling in their songs. I feel like it's another one of their tip offs that “hey this one is about us” Anyway I love John's whistling here. He's so good at it. I can just imagine him as some farm boy picking apples, you know?

Imagine booing this poor stay puppy though, like. What? I mean, what if Johann Weiner was wrong and John wasn't crying at the sight of him and Paul playing triumphant together on the rooftop, but at Paul playing his little heart out about their doomed love. Idk it's probably both. Let's be real, John was bawling through the whole thing.

What is George laughing at? Picture quality is garbage because evil corporations don't let you take screenshots of their content, but he looks like that one kid in your elementary school class that just dumped Cheetos all over his crushes desk and thinks he's a criminal mastermind.

Also I do appreciate all the attention given in the chosen shots to the musicianship. I bet they liked that at least if they had the heart to like anything about the movie at the time.

I'm sorry but I love how in sync Mo and Paul are. With this ducking and later the shimmying. I know it's wrong to ship Ringo’s wife with one of the Beatles she didn't sleep with, but… idk I really want her to have bedded all four at one point, you know? She deserves it, being an og.

Okay but yeah I'd be having a public meltdown if I fumbled that too holy fucking shit

Ringo feeling himself as he should

George just looks like he smells nice. Unlike the others. You know?

John has such a beautiful smile. If somebody looked at me like that I'd put him up on a giant screen behind me on my world tour after he'd been dead for forty years too.

That pleeeaaaheeeaaase though. Looking at Paul. How did he survive I'll never know.

The cut from screaming Paul to grouchy nap lady is extremely painful.

John was so cool in this concert. Like the epitome of cool.

Kevin, my love, thank you for your service

I love Yoko leaning so far and craning her neck. She's like a mom at a school talent show. Like “I only came to see my baby.” Type vibe. Which is exactly what she's doing, unlike Mo, and honestly I find both of them extremely valid

You know in movies where the romantic leads are never looking at each other at the same time?

I think I watched George and John switching back on their amps like fifty times because I just love it so much. And from this angle, you can see John's saying something to Paul about it. He looks serious and he's shaking his head. I wonder what he's saying.

Mal Evans I love you forever for this. Look at his hand on the rail, just blocking them off completely, so protective.

Them turning to each other at the end always gets me. It's automatic, like second nature, and it's the last time ever. They deserved better.

Oh Darling duet in the credits are you fucking kidding me??? Was that in the original? “Believe me, when I tell you.” “Oh I do.” That's the second time that they gave away in this footage that they know they're talking to each other in their music.

Alright, that's it, I guess. And then MLH is haunted by this experience for forty years until he makes Two of Us to purge the demons.

[gravehags]

how to adopt and care for your ghouls

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x f!Reader (Curator Reader)

Rating: EXPLICIT

Words: 1,966

Tags: established relationship, hijinks, fade to black (mostly) smut, ghouls doing ghoul shit, ghouls imprinting on reader like a bunch of feral kittens, copia going through it, hint at potential future uhhhh ghoulette/reader action maybe?

a/n: this is so stupid i'm obsessed with it

~~~

“That’s all the new ghouls settled in the den, then,” you announce, tired but accomplished. You shut the door with your hip and toe off your shoes before launching yourself into the arms of your beloved who is currently seated on the couch.

“Oof! Bene, bene, thank you for taking this on, amore. You know I could have had a sibling do this, si?”

“Yeah,” you say, wiggling your way under the blanket and looking at the TV, currently on mute and playing some reality show, “I suppose but I don’t know, this is a huge step you’re taking and I wanted to support you in any way I can. Almost like I love and cherish you and want your success, as wild as that may sound.”

“You…love me?!” he scoffs, reaching to the side and hauling you on top of him as you squeal inelegantly, “I see why you might. I am very handsome, and smart, and successful, and did you know I have a band, bella signorina?”

“No!” you gasp, “A band? You? You never mentioned that to me, not even once, not even a little bit. I just thought you were some hot weird priest and well, I have hierophilia, so naturally–”

He shuts you up by firmly pressing his lips against yours, both of you giggling in between kisses. When you pull away and push yourself off the couch, backing up towards the bedroom he follows, stalking you with a sinister grin.

“Hierophilia, eh?” he purrs as you bump into the doorway and lean against it, “Does this agnellino require penance for her sins?”

You take your lower lip between your teeth and smile.

“Your Eminence, I’ve never seen you without your cassock before,” you murmur, eyes raking over his t-shirt, the red sweatpants, and the lovely, familiar tent in them that has your mouth watering, “It makes this so much easier.”

When you slowly lower yourself to your knees as he approaches, you hear him chuckle before sliding a bare hand into your hair.

“Go on then, ragazza mia,” he groans as you lower the waistband of his pants and take him out, “Show me how that–ah–pretty little mouth can atone.”

Your lips slide off the head only for a moment, your hand wrapped around him and stroking lazily.

“Thank you, Your Eminence.”

By the time the two of you crawl to bed, you’re both ruined and exhausted and entirely satisfied.

–

“Cazzo!”

You hear the curse loud and clear through the door to the rehearsal room and wince, your hand on the doorknob. The shouting continues as you cautiously open the door and eight heads swivel over to look at you. Your beloved looks exhausted and red faced, hair disheveled and midway through gesticulating wildly when he immediately drops his hands and his anger and scuttles over to you.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt,” you say, watching Copia attempt to push back the strands hanging in his face.

“No, no,” he waves, turning to cast his gaze behind him at the seated ghouls who still watch you intently. “I, eh. Amore can you–can you watch them for a moment? Five minutes, maybe ten? I need to uh…recompose myself. These fucking ghouls will not listen.”

The last part is hissed out as you cup his cheek, nodding.

“Go, take as long as you need.”

He turns his head to press a swift kiss to your palm before stalking out. A silence rings out as you turn to look at the infernal beings staring at you like raccoons caught in the garbage cans.

“Hey…guys,” you begin, slowly walking over to them. “I don’t know if you remember me but–”

“Of course we remember you,” the shorter ghoulette whispers, her tone reverent, “You’re the one who took care of us after we were brought here.”

“Oh!” you exclaim, surprised, “I-I mean I just made sure everyone got settled. You know, made sure everyone was comfortable. I don’t even think we know each other’s names.”

So you tell them yours.

And they tell you theirs.

And from there it’s a blur.

You don’t know who pulled you into a chair first - maybe Swiss? But all of a sudden you’ve got ghouls draped all over you, their tails wagging gleefully as they gaze at you with adoration.

“Are you the Cardinal’s mate?”

“Your eyes are so pretty.”

“Can you tell the Cardinal to stop calling us ‘piccoli stronzi’?”

“Are you single?”

You’re not sure who said what but that last question you definitely know is from Swiss by the way he grins at you and winks before being elbowed sharply in the ribs by Cirrus.

“Ok first,” you say, your heart full as Aether shifts to lay his head in your lap, “Tell me why Copia was shouting. What did you guys do?”

“Ugh,” Cirrus says, crossing her arms and canting her hips, “That. He’s pissed because he was trying to tell us how to do our jobs.”

“Well…” you say, “That’s kind of his job, isn’t it?”

“He’s no Papa,” Dewdrop huffs, slumping in his chair. You eye the scarring on the sides of his neck from his elemental transition and your heart hurts for him. Copia was deeply aggrieved about that particular ritual and though you weren’t present for it like you were for the summonings, hearing about it from him was enough to understand the brutality of it.

“He may not be Papa,” you begin carefully, “But he summoned you. Well, most of you. There is no Ghost project without him but also without any of you. You all have a symbiosis with him and…he just wants everything to go right. To be perfect. Surely you understand the stress on his shoulders to not fuck this up, yeah?”

Aether grunts from your lap.

“Wish you were the head of the Ghost project,” Rain murmurs, while towering Mountain nods in agreement. You laugh.

“None of you want to hear me sing, trust me,” you say, idly dragging your fingers through Aether’s hair as Cumulus and Cirrus watch with poorly concealed jealousy, “but my beloved has so much to give. I just ask that you give him a chance. For me.”

You don’t get a response as you hear the door shut behind you.

“Amore,” Copia says, looking a great deal more relaxed but wary as he beholds your captive audience, “This is an…interesting turn of events.”

When a disheveled Aether lifts his head off your lap and gives Copia a lazy grin, you have to bite your tongue to keep from laughing.

“She was giving us a pep talk,” Cumulus chirps, rocking back onto her heels, “Really motivational stuff.”

“Uh-huh,” Copia says, still cautious.

“Ok everyone,” Cirrus claps sharply, “Back to your instruments. We got an album to learn. Right, boss?”

The ghouls all look to Copia, but Copia is too busy looking at you to notice. You smile and shrug.

“I’ll uh…leave you all to it,” you say, standing up and walking over to your love to plant a soft kiss on his cheek, “See you later, hon. And…be sweet to them, hmm? For me?”

It’s the last time you hear Copia shout in that practice room.

–

You’re nice and cozy in bed, nestled against the pillows and watching stupid cat videos on your phone when there’s a soft knock at the door. At first you think maybe Copia forgot his keys but surely he would have texted you? You throw the covers back and slide off the mattress to pad over to the door. When you open it you expect to see your beloved, perhaps one of the papas, but instead there are…two ghouls.

“Hi,” the taller of the two says, trademark grin on his face. His companion stands silent, shoulders squared and arms behind his back.

“Hey Swiss, Dewdrop,” you say, smiling at them. “If you’re looking for Copia he’s–”

“We’re not,” Dewdrop says flatly, and his tone makes you laugh against your better judgment.

“Oh! Okay. Are…are you looking for me?”

Swiss nods eagerly.

“We uh,” he starts, rubbing his palms, “don’t feel good.”

Dewdrop shakes his head solemnly.

“Uh-huh,” you say, crossing your arms, “I mean, the infirmary will probably be able to help you better than I can but I’ll try my best. What’s up?”

“We can’t sleep,” Dew pipes up.

“Nope, not a wink,” Swiss confirms.

“I mean I’ve got some sleeping meds - can you guys take sleeping meds? Oh God, I don’t want to kill one of you I–”

“Can we stay with you?” Dew asks quietly.

You smirk.

“This your clever way of getting into my bed?”

Swiss coughs and Dew grins, teeth sharp.

“I mean, you said it, not us,” Swiss laughs, “but since you offered–”

You make a quiet noise of protest as the ghouls sidle into Copia’s living room, looking around. You shut the door, shaking your head.

“No funny business, my loves,” you coo, walking back to the bedroom with them on your heels. 

“Oh we wouldn’t do that to Cumulus and Cirrus. O-or the Cardinal.”

You spin on your heel.

“What was that about Cumulus and Cirrus?”

“Nothing,” they say in unison, faces unreadable.

You eye them both suspiciously before climbing back into your now cold bed, scooting to the middle.

“Well, come on,” you say, waving them over. Swiss climbs in on your right side and Dewdrop on your left, snuggling into you. You’re not sure if it’s just your imagination but you swear Dew is emanating warmth. It makes your eyelids heavy and you yawn so deeply your jaw cracks.

“Alright you two bozos, time for bed.”

“Thank you Lady Copia,” Dew says, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Christ, please don’t call me that,” you sigh, tilting your head to rest on Swiss’. As your companions drift off a steady purr begins to rumble between the two of them, lulling you to sleep.

“What the fuck?!”

Your eyes snap open and you choke on your gasp upon seeing a figure in the dark and a glowing white eye staring down at you. The light comes on not long after, and you blink up at your love.

“Hey, hon,” you say, your voice hoarse. “What’s wr–oh.”

The two ghouls are still in your bed, eyes shut. Swiss has his leg slung between yours and both have their arms wrapped around your waist. 

“At the risk of sounding like a cliche,” you murmur, yawning, “it’s not what it looks like.”

Copia glowers down at the three of you.

“Is that right?”

He’s being so very loud, your beloved.

“Shh bello mio, they’re sleeping.”

“In my fucking bed,” he hisses. You know he’s annoyed but you’re just glad he’s being quieter about it now. He throws his hands up and starts muttering in furious Italian. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell them to move. Guys,” you say, nudging them gently, “guys you gotta get up. Copia thinks we’re having a torrid affair.”

Neither of them stir but Swiss starts snoring loudly and you swear you hear a snicker from Dew.

Copia looks incensed.

“I’m sorry, my love, but I can’t even move let alone make them move.”

“Stronzi,” Copia growls, “get out of my bed and your hands off my love or I will send you back to the fucking pit.”

There’s definitely no mistaking Dew’s laughter this time and you have to bite your lip to muffle your own as you look up at your furious lover. He hovers over the three of you, fuming for a minute before turning on his heel and stomping off to the living room to fling himself onto the couch. As you fall back asleep, arousal stirs in your belly imagining the ways he’s going to make you pay. 

You hope it involves penance.

[talaok]

Hi, I was watching your writing and I'm in love, could you do one where Pedro Pascal and the reader have a child and are very famous?

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader

A/n: OK. i'll be honest i panicked cause I don't know if by have a baby you meant giving birth to one or having having it, so I googled it and Google said the first one, so I went with that.

Having to sneak out of your own home while in active labor definitely wasn't on your to-do list, but the mob of paparazzi right at your front door didn't give you much of a choice.

It was midnight, why the hell they were still there was well beyond you, but then again, everything that had happened since you and Pedro were first spotted together had been just as crazy.

It was like a media tornado. Everyone seemed to have an opinion about you, and of course, a constant need to regurgitate it on the internet, magazines, and even newspapers at one point.

It was ridiculous it's what it was.

And when the vultures found out you were pregnant... oof, you can imagine what a shitshow that was.

A camera was being pointed at you every time any of you left the house, whether you saw it or not, you could be certain it was.

And Pedro had tried to do everything in his power to stop it, he wasn't someone who lost his cool very easily, but when it came to you and the child growing in your belly... he transformed completely.

He had filed lawsuits and spoken with everyone he could to let you have some godforsaken privacy and peace, but when that clearly wasn't working he started to get more practical.

You walked everywhere with him now, so that the moment the paparazzi got even a tiny bit annoying he could do his best to try and make them stop (which oftentimes required him to scream at them to "let you fucking breathe").

And now, that the media had somehow obtained your due date, of course, Pedro had planned the perfect escape route.

Which was why he was now backing up the car to rush to the hospital.

"You ok?" he breathed, although his lungs had long been uncooperating.

"yeah" you hissed through another contraction "just-hurry please"

His eyes were on the road the whole time, but you could feel him staring nonetheless.

His right hand was holding yours for dear life, telling you -I'm here, it's all gonna be fine- all the way to the delivery room.

"Just another push" the doctor said, and you obliged, pushing and squeezing Pedro's hand until all his veins were seconds from popping.

And then-just when you were ready to say fuck it, I'm done here, you heard it- you heard the cry, and you didn't know why, you didn't know how... but tears, tears a mile long started flowing from your eyes.

"It's a girl," The doctor said, handing the now blanketed child to you, into your arms.

If you could you would have told him that it wasn't a good idea, that your arms felt about as strong as noodles right now- but all you could do was watch, as the baby -your daughter- stared back at you with her dad's eyes.

"hey" you felt a voice to your left, and turned to find Pedro crouching beside you.

"hey there" he whispered to the baby, letting his finger trail her minuscule face.

"It's your daddy," he murmured "Listen, I know you're probably tired and don't wanna listen to me, but I just wanted you to know-" he paused, looking almost unbelieving, like he was waiting for the moment he would blink, and everything was gonna disappear, his daughter, you, everything he cared for the most in the world just... poof.

But you didn't.

And he still couldn't believe it.

"I just wanted you to know that I love you" he said, "I love you and your mommy more than anything, anything in the whole world" he kissed her pretty forehead "And I swear... I swear I'm gonna spend every single day of my life proving it"

You smiled through the tears, as he struggled to fight back his.

"I'm sorry, we need to take her for a moment" The doctor spoke again, 

You had forgotten he was still in the room.

"Do you?" Pedro asked, although he already knew the answer

"We do, Mr. Pascal, I'm sorry, we need to wash her and make sure she's all right"

He sighed, looking down at the tiny creature in your arms with a glint in his eyes you had never seen before.

"fine" he mumbled

You sniffled, staring down at her.

"I love you." you murmured, kissing her cheek "God, I love you so much" you chuckled, before handing her to the nurse.

Please be careful, you had to fight the urge to say.

And just like that- only you and Pedro remained in the room.

Silence, a light, stunned, happy silence fell- and only after you regained consciousness, and realized what just happened, did all the noises come back.

The beeping of the monitor, the buzzing of the tv, and- and shouts from outside, talking and murmuring of what you already knew was a crowd.

Pedro must have noticed too, because he went to peek from the window.

"I'm gonna kill them" he sighed, his forehead falling to the glass, watching as interviewers and paparazzi clogged the entrance of the hospital.

"It's a lot?" 

"Yeah"

Again, silence.

"Baby?" you called 

"yes?"

"We'll think about it later," you said, holding your hand out for him.

He immediately took it.

He crouched next to you and you looked at one another, so many things to say and yet no idea how to say them- until- until-

"We have a daughter" you smiled

And he laughed, he laughed all the happiness and anxiety right out of his body.

"We do" he grinned, his eyes teary "We have a daughter"

[loveephia]

Can you do Bokuto, Tendou Suna, Iwaizumi? So that they see their girlfriend again after she was away for a long time? I love You Work!!💕💕💕💕💕

how some of the HQ boys would react to seeing their girlfriend again after a long time from a business trip. (bokuto, tendō, suna, iwaizumi.)

content: (🦷) tooth-rotting fluff, them being very sulky generally, you guys are married here, suna's is inspired by a scene in the k-drama "true beauty", kita cameo in iwaizumi's, and yes, atsumu says an among us reference.

⚠ warning/s: manga spoilers.

note: THIS REQ WAS SO CUTE WHATATAT@?(# i haven't written for tendō, BUT i love a good challenge. >:3 iwaizumi's ended up being a bit long on accident. 😭 THANK YOU ANON AND ENJOY READING!!!

BOKUTO KŌTARŌ

when you told him you'd be gone for three WHOLE months, his hair just drooped down, the gleam in his eyes are no longer there, and his childish grin is gone.

baby literally gets so sulky about it :(((

"do you really have to?"

HE HAS THE PUPPY DOG EYES AND EVERYTHING STOPPTKEPDK 😭😭😭😭

"believe me, kō. as much as i don't want to stay away for that long, i have to."

every day he wakes up (with his arms around a pillow instead of you), he tries to be optimistic

"another day closer to seeing my wife!"

can't have him messing up at practice yk

but when he finally sees you at the airport, gosh, he's just all smiley about it

he picks you up and spins you around like in the movies

"i missed you so, so, so much!" he's pecking your face all over, ignoring the looks from other people, because hIS WIFE IS BACK 😭😭😭😭

"kō.. people are staring." you giggled

"let them!"

SATORI TENDŌ

"no way—! you gotta be joking!"

HE IS IN UTTER DISBELIEF.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO BE GONE FOR THREE MONTHS???

"who's gonna be my taste tester then!?" his voice cracks

the tendō chocolatier business CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT IT'S OFFICIAL TASTE TESTER.

before you leave, he gives you a free box of handmade chocolates galore to snack on the plane

and, ofc, a little kiss on the cheek

when you open the box on the plane, there's a little note

"don't eat'em all on one go! love yaaa~ :3" HOW CUTEJKSJDKEJDK

when you're finally back from the trip, you stumble into tendō's arms

"oof—!" he says before patting your head, "there, there, y/n."

SUNA RINTARŌ

"what." he deadpans

"i know.. but i have to—"

"no way. i don't accept this. you're seriously leaving me?" he sounds so offended that people may think you two are fighting.

he pretends to be all mad about it, but you know he's just joking around

so when you're gone, suna has to physically hOLD HIMSELF BACK FROM CALLING YOU EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY

"she wouldn't want a clingy boyfr— husband." he corrects himself

yeah, he calls you anyway.

when you pick up, you say, "hello, my tarō! how are you?" in that sICKENINGLY KIND TONE SUNA HAS OH, SO MISSED 😭😭

you've only been gone for three days

"please come home. i miss you. please." did he just say please twice?

when you're finally home, it takes every inch of sanity left in suna so as not to drag you away for cuddles

the expression on his face tells you everything, and you giggle. "i'll just shower first, then we can cuddle." and his face LIGHTS UP

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

"even oikawa's said some terrible jokes, but this one is by far the worst."

"nope! it's not a joke, baby."

when you're gone, iwaizumi is so upset because you'd usually give him a little kiss goodbye whenever he goes off to work :((

so now he's extra grumpy while coaching the national jpn team.

"oi, hinata! you should've been able to get that one!"

"if you can't hit it right, another hundred laps for you, ushiwaka!"

"suna, stop slacking off, or i'll have that old captain of yours come back and scold you!"

suna knows iwaizumi's threat was only towards him, but that statement got even ATSUMU AND ARAN SHIVERING.

SO THE TEAM IS ALL LIKE "???" BECAUSE WHO PUSHED IWAIZUMI'S BUTTONS SO EARLY IN THE MORNING 😭

"which one of you is it. come on, fess up!" hoshiumi hisses

"i believe bokuto lost iwaizumi's pen the other day." ushijima states

"wow, are we just throwing each other under the bus now?" suna snickers

"it was an accident! i didn't know he'd get this mad about it!" bokuto tried to defend himself, "come on, tell them, atsumu!"

"i was in cafeteria with grey." atsumu lifts both hands up, metaphorically waving the white flag

"you all are insufferable." sakusa groans

you can imagine how confused the team got when after three months, iwaizumi's mood was no longer grouchy since you had finally come home

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[base0h]

Hello there 👋. If it's ok with you, may I request for ASL brothers + katakuri ? How would they react upon witnessing their fem s/o who just fall from a flight of stairs just casually get up, not saying anything, dust herself off and walk away as if she didn't just fall from a really high place and injuring her head ? Blood obviously dripping down from her forehead like she just got smashed to the head with a bear bottle but her expression stays nonchalant. Idk why when this scene first play in my head I find it funny 💀 you can ignore this if you want to btw ☺️. No pressure 👌

a/n - pls this idea is so funny 😭 I love it- tysm for this anon!!

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, g/n reader, modern au, Katakuri needs therapy

- The way he literally just stood there, a handful of potato chips in his mouth, mismatching socks, and only having his boxers on as you fell down the stairs

- he stopped chewing, watching you immediately get up as if nothing happened, blood clearly starting to drip down your nose and forehead from impact

- He kept looking back and forth at you who was now watching tv on the couch as if you didn’t just fall down a long flight of WOODEN stairs…?

- He giggled, running up the stairs and fucking jumping off them like a dumbass

- he took your actions as a “skills of falling down the stairs” challenge which he gladly took

- “WHEEEEEE- OOF-“

- ran straight into the wall, putting a dent, making the lamp above him fall on top of him

- “I’m- fine-! Shishi~” *dies*

- he tried to be like you, didn’t work out very well

- lots of ice packs and kisses followed afterwards tho 💜💜

- also yes he’s still only in his underwear and mismatching socks

- Bold of you to assume you could even fall down the stairs without him being right there to catch you before you fall 🙃

- ok let’s just say he wasn’t payin attention

- You took one wrong step down the stairs, skipping a step as you slid down, flipping forward and slamming your face into the ground rather- harshly

- You could hear boots thudding from the hall, scrambling feet, and in the blink of an eye, Katakuri slid on the wooden floors to find you collapsed on the ground in front of the stairs

- *panic attack starts*

- Literally FREAKING OUT

- You just stood up, wiping your bloody nose and going to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal for breakfast

- He stood there, blinking however many times before he walked over to you silently

- “…are you ok?”

- you had the absolute audacity to look at him with the most confused expression as if nothing happened at all

- “What do you mean? Yeah I’m fine why?”

- watch him walk out that door right now

- He put those guard rails on the stairs, and non-slip pads on the wooden steps 😭

- he’s doing everything in his power to make sure you don’t fall down again 🥺

- I just know this man has an issue with stairs, going up and going down them

- You were wearing socks! It was pretty much setting up for your demise against the stairway

- You slipped, sliding down on your ass before flipping forward, skidding to a stop on your face, your legs comically flying above your head before you stopped

- Ace was standing there in disbelief with a mouthful of cereal, the spoon still in his mouth

- Everything was silent as you got up, brushing your clothes off before grabbing a cup of water as if blood wasn’t clearly dripping down your face

- Ace rushed over to you, dropping the whole bowl of cereal before grabbing your head with his hands worriedly

- “Are you ok?! Y/n YOU JUST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS!”

- “Do I have to get Marco? Probably- right?! Oh shit.”

- his hands lit on fire from worry, lighting your- hair on fire…

- Started screaming, and you were absolutely clueless as to what was happening

- He grabbed the milk carton and started dunking your head in it, slapping the fire on your head before it could burn any of your hair.

- it ended with ace cleaning up at least a gallon of milk, and a trip to Marco’s 👍

- he’d just be minding his own business, doing some reading as he sipped his cup of tea peacefully

- That was interrupted by you flying down the stairs, hitting your head against the table leg underneath him with a thud

- he swore you’d almost broken the leg in half 💀

- You got up, continuing to hum a tune as you grabbed some breakfast, sitting right next to him as you started scrolling on your phone, blood dripping down your face

- He was scared? Of you? No- for your safety and well-being? How tf did you fall down a whole ass flight of stairs and not start wincing in pain? Was it true? Were you actually a demon?

- you looked over at him to see him staring at you with the most concerned look you had ever seen

- “Morning Sabo!”

- You kissed his cheek, wiping the blood off your bruised face with a paper towel before going back to your phone nonchalantly

- Was he hallucinating? No- you fell down the stairs just now! He wasn’t dreaming or anything!

- He put his hand on your shoulder and took a deep breath, “Y/n… I think we need to see a doctor.”

- man got so serious about it help 💀

- started looking up, “fell down stairs, did not react disease?”

- “high pain tolerance?”

- “can’t feel pain disease”

- “SHOULD I CALL AN EXORCIST?”

- “exorcistdemon.org”

a/n - pls sabo would think you’re possessed 💀

[romanarose]

Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Miller

DBF!Joel Miller x fem!reader

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Previous part here: New Years

Summary: Joel invites you over for on Valentine's Day, but not FOR Valentine's Day.

Warnings: Oral f!receiving, anal fingering, PIV sex, discomfort during sex but Joel is respectful and respectful. Feeling used for sex. Unrequited feelings. Hurt. Poor communication.

Immersivity: Reader is fem, dresses very feminine. Major age gap. Reader's body is not specified in the story, the dress is just an example.

Mr. Miller was getting on your fucking nerves.

Really, you knew you were probably being illogical. Joel wasn’t your boyfriend, he was your dads friend fucked you into oblivion on the side and that was it, right?

Well, maybe he should have thought of that before he asked you to come over on Valentines Day and the most romantic thing he did was put a finger in your ass while eating you out bent over a couch.

“Come in my mouth, pretty baby” He mumbles into your pussy, mouth fixed on your cunt as he lapped into you, knelt on the ground fingering your asshole.

As soon as you showed up at his house, smiling in your prettiest, pinkiest dress he pulled you inside. You were disappointed to find him in a t-shirt and sweats. Although he looked goddamn good like that, you were hoping for him to be just a little more dressed up. Your excitement for a Valentine's Day date faded as you took in his apartment and realized there was not going to be a dinner or a cute date. Joel just wanted to fuck you.

You tried to get into it, trying to let yourself sink into him and his filthy mouth but you were so fucking irritating with him.

Joel pulled himself away, making you whine until he literally flipped you over the couch. You plop down with an ��oof’ and can’t help but laugh a little. 

“Something funny?” Joel says, standing over you and undressing, but he can’t suppress a smirk. 

“Nothing, Mr. Miller.” You bat your eyes at him, rubbing your thighs together in your cute dress. He was so handsome, so fucking cute even when he hurt your feelings. He didn’t mean to be mean, men were just so oblivious.

It’s not long before Joel has you on your hands and knees, clinging to the armrest like a raft in a storm as he rails into you, hard and deep, the sound of skin slapping against skin mixing with his grunts and your moans creating a symphony. 

“C’mon, give it to me, sweet girl. Give daddy what he wants.”

“Mmmmm” was all you could muster, trying to concentrate on the feeling he was giving you, not so much him. HE was pissing you off. His cock had you on the edge of an orgasm. Joel’s thumb was splayed out on your ass, slipping a thumb inside the tight muscle and making you feel so, so full. It was a good distraction… until his stupid dirty mouth got talking.

“Slutty little girl likes her ass filled up, huh? Such a naughty girl…” Joel leans over, growling in her ear and he rammed into you. “Love how fucking needy you are, baby girl, love how you can’t go without my cock for more than a few days.”

Your heart fluttered at the compliment. You wanted more from him, you wanted to go on dates in public without being afraid to be seen by a friend of your dads.You wanted to stay overnight without worrying about your dad showing up at Joel’s and seeing your car. You wanted to call him your boyfriend.

“Yeah?” You pant, fishing for something. “What else do you love?”

“I love your tight little pussy.” He licks your neck all the way up.

Not what you wanted. “What else?” You were close, like an itch you were trying to scratch but you couldn’t quite get there.

He smacks your ass. “I love this cute butt, and I love the sexy little dresses you wear, always teasing me while your daddy is in the room.”

“Joooooel” He wasn’t getting it.

“I love your sexy body,” Joel nibbles on your shoulder. “The pretty sounds you make.”

You were officially irritated, and you weren’t going to cum when you were irritated. As nice as his praise felt, it wasn’t what you were getting at. 

Despite being faced away from him, Joel noticed the shift in body language quickly, the way your muscles tensed instead of melting into him, and when he looked at your face, he saw your lips in a thin line and your brows furrowed. He slowed his actions, running hand hands over your still-clothed back. “You okay, sweetheart?”

The tender tone of his voice just served to turn you off more. You didn’t like that he could be so soft when he wanted to, luring you in but not giving you himself.

Tears burned in your eyes. “Get off” 

Immediate but careful, he pulls away and pulls out, still hard and dripping with pre-cum but worries etched into his features. “You alright? I didn’t hurtcha, did I?” He was sincere, but you were frustrated, avoiding his eyes as you looked for your panties. 

“I’m fine. I just… I need to go.” You were scrambling, face burning and tears welling but you didn’t want him to see how much he was affecting you. It was just meant to be sex. Just sex. How could you be so stupid, thinking he’d fallen for you like you had him. What could he possibly want with you out of being a hot young body to fuck.That what you were, that’s all you were, just a a body, a sex doll, a-

“Here.” Joel hands you your pink panties with a little bow in the front and lace fringe, and you continue to not make eye contact as you rip them from his hands. Joel pulls his pants on.

You walk to the door, feeling flustered with the ruined orgasm and your confusing feelings, feeling embarrassed and childish. Why couldn’t you just be cool and grown and not this annoying child feel feelings.

Joel called your name, walking after you but keeping distance. “C’mon, what’s going on?”

“Nothing!” You say in a poor attempt at being casual. “I’m perfectly fine! I love coming over here and functioning like a sex doll!” Woops. That wasn’t supposed to come out. You open the door.

He blinks. “I- what? Baby that’s not-”

Standing in the doorway, the cool wind flutters your short dress around your knees. Fucking embaressing, trying to dress up like you were girlfriend material. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr. Miller.”

You slam the door behind you.

Donate to Doctors Without Borders Donate to Red Crescant for the Aphganistan Humanitarian Crisis Two places my temple is promoting donations. I've donated to doctor's without borders and so has Pedro and I hope you'll join us!

Follow @romana-updates to keep up!

Next installment is presidents day XD

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring

[hazbinshusk]

husk x afab!reader. finally expanding on my idea of torturing husk with phone sex while he's stuck tending the bar. unable to join you as long as he has guests in the lobby, and unable to reciprocate for the same reason, husk is left hard as a rock but desperate to keep listening to you come undone. featuring: sex toys, masturbation, edging, overstimulation, dirty talk, soft!dom husk, cherri and angel being pains in the ass, and a frustrated bartender. 1.4k.

Husk growls beneath his breath as the newly-installed phone on the wall behind him trills at a tone that he swears is specifically designed to grind against his last nerve. Which, knowing Alastor, it might very well be. He mutters an irritated curse under his breath as he unhooks the receiver and brings it to his ear.

“What?”

A soft giggle comes as the reply, and he softens immediately, the tension easing from his shoulders. “Y’know, we really need to talk about your bedside manner, baby. That was a little too hostile for one of the residents.”

“Doll?” Husk’s voice shifts, relaxing into that velvety tone he reserves just for you.

“Last I checked,” you reply merrily. “Now about the way you answer the phone…”

He hums, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. “Al makes me answer the phone. He didn’t say I have to be happy ‘bout it. Hell, if anything, the bastard probably prefers it if I ain’t.”

“A good point.”

“And I don’t know if answerin’ the phone at the bar needs a ‘bedside manner’, pet.”

He can practically hear the teasing smirk in your voice. “But what if the hotel resident is in bed when they call?”

Husk pauses for a moment, raising a brow. He glances towards the sofas on the other side of the room, where Cherri is entertaining Angel and with an animated retelling of her latest drug-fueled exploits. They pay no attention to him, and he turns his back to them, leaning back against the bar and folding his free arm over his chest.

“And where are you, doll?”

“Three guesses.”

“Uh-huh,” he replies, amused. “And you’re makin’ a deal out of callin’ me from your bed, because…?”

You mimic a gameshow buzzer into his ear. “Oof. Sorry, honey. Wrong answer.”

“Huh?”

“Would you like to play again?”

“…You’re not in your bed, then?”

“Uh-uh.”

Husk can’t help the small smile still playing over his lips. He winds the cord around his claws idly. “Then you are…?”

Your answer is wonderfully simple.

“In yours.”

Husk’s ears flick upward in sudden attention at the implications that rush through his mind at those two words. He can hear you breathe a soft laugh at the cattish sound of interest he makes despite himself. He glances back over his shoulder at the others and clears his throat. “If you’re lookin’ for me to join ya, baby, I’m sorry, but I think I’m gonna be stuck down here a while.”

“I know,” you say, and he can hear that your sympathy tainted with amusement. “I miss you up here.”

He hums again, eyes closing. He finishes the last of the glass he’s been nursing, the whiskey a familiar burn at the back of his throat. “Don’t do that to me, baby…”

“I’m sorry.” There’s a soft rustling sound that tells Husk you’re setting the phone against the crook of your neck. “Can I make it up to you?”

“Yeah?” Husk smiles. “How d’ya plan on doin’ that, exactly?”

“I’ve got a few ideas.”

Husk stops reaching for a fresh bottle in the moment he hears your breath catch softly. His hand tightens on the phone. “Doll. This is a new level of cruel.”

“Is it?” you ask, voice pitched higher. The change is only slight, but it makes Husk's ears twitch upward in interest. “Want me to stop?”

Husk chuckles, low in the back of his throat. God, how he wishes the others would just fucking leave. “I want you to tell me exactly what you’re doin’ up there, all alone.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You let your head fall back against the pillows with a soft moan, a smile on your lips as you hear Husk growl under his breath in response. You giggle quietly, rolling your nipple between your fingers.

“I need your hand between your legs now, baby.” he tells you roughly, and the tone in his voice sends a thrill directly down your spine. It makes you shiver, and you gasp as you pinch your nipple roughly. You've been teasing yourself like this, letting your hands roam down over your stomach to graze the top of your thighs before returning to your breasts... and every time, mapping out the journey your fingers take for your audience. His voice drops further, no doubt mindful of the others in the lobby. "I need to hear you tell me how wet you are."

"Yes, sir," you reply, smiling wider as he curses under his breath at the title. You let your hand travel back down your stomach, breath catching as you dip your fingers down between your spread thighs. You slide two fingers along your slit, hips bucking up into your hand as you graze your clit. "Oh, fuck, Husk..."

"Mmmm, baby..." Husk sighs, and you can picture his eyes closing, his head tipping back. "You wet for me?"

"Mm-hm," you nod against the phone, still toying slowly with your clit. "God, Husk, this feels good..."

"Oh, you're killin' me here, sweetness," he groans. "What I wouldn't fuckin' give for..."

"I can hold out for you, baby," you tell him. "I can keep playing... all by myself... get myself all wet and trembling and... fucking desperate for you until you can finally come and..." you moan as you slide two fingers into yourself, cradling the phone against your shoulder so you can keep playing with your clit with your other hand. "...and fuck me so deep and..."

The sound Husk lets out is a mix of a cattish growl and a groan, and you push your hips up against your palm as you fuck yourself on your fingers.

"You're already so close, aren't you, doll?" Husk asks, and you can hear the knowing amusement playing against his arousal.

"Yes, sir."

"Fuck..." he breathes, and it brings to mind the memory of his warm breath against your throat, his claws on your hips, and his teeth grazing your collarbone. "Fuck, baby, I-"

Husk's tone shifts, and you hear the muffled sound of the phone being lowered. "The fuck do you want, Cherri?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Woah, chill, kitty cat!" Cherri laughs, holding up her hands. "Just lookin' for a refill. You got something better to do?"

Husk swallows, shifting as his cock throbs almost painfully. He glowers at the cyclops, turning to face her. He stands almost flush against the bar to keep his erection from view. “You’re gonna wanna not call me that.”

Angel coos in faux-sympathy as he joins them at the bar, draping himself over Cherri’s back. “Ooh, I know that tone. What’s got ya down, Husky?”

“Y’mean aside from havin’ to put up with your drunk asses?”

Angel blows him a kiss, gives him a wink, and slides his empty glass across the bar towards the bartender. Husk, well-practised, has a bottle ready to pour just as it comes to a stop in front of him, eyes still fixed in an impatient glare on the two of them. “Y’know ya love us, baby.”

“What else ya got to do, anyway, bitch?” Cherri teases, swiping up her own refill. Husk bites back the urge to tell her to shove it, so, so aware of the weight of the phone in his hand. His whole body is burning with the knowledge that you’re on the other end of the line and he’s missing those pretty sounds you’re making for him.

“Yeah…” Angel draws out the word invitingly. “Ya could always come out and party with us, y’know. We can show ya the best places to get ya fur mussed.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Course ya will,” Cherri eye-rolls.

Angel’s eyes flicker down to the phone still pressed to Husk’s chest. “Ya got a better offer, pussy cat?”

Husk thanks fuck for his poker face. “Goodnight Angel.”

The porn star and his bestie cackle, and the former leans over the bar to smack a kiss the bartender’s cheek teasingly with an exaggerated, obnoxious ‘mwah!’. Husk swats him away irritably, and the two of them continue laughing on their way out the door.

There’s a beat before Husk jerks the phone back to his ear, and his flagging erection immediately swells again with the sounds on the other end of the phone. Finally, thankfully alone, Husk uses his free hand to unbutton his fly, pushing his hand into his pants.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You let out a breathless, high-pitched sound with each pump of the toy into your soaking cunt. You’d rolled onto you knees, the phone still glued to your ear despite the silence he'd left you with and your thighs quivering as your hips jerk against the cum-slick silicone between your thighs.

You'd been so close when Husk had been taken away, and the minutes he'd left you see-sawing along the precipice of orgasm is making your mind fog and your jaw clench. Each roll of your hips sends sparks of need and pure pleasure up through your core, and while the muffled, growling voice of Husk coming through the phone was enough to make you shiver, it's edging you just as much as the toy is.

So, when you hear the phone move and Husk's sharp intake of breath, it takes everything in you, eyes screwed tight and sweat on your brow, not to cum right away.

"Oh, fuck, baby..." Husk groans as you whine in his ear, his own voice torn. "Holy fuck, you sound so pretty..."

"You left me," you whimper into the receiver, grinding down against the dildo. It fills you well, but the smooth line of it leaves you wanting. Conjuring the memory of the way the barbs of Husk's cock tease when he thrusts into you makes you clench around the toy, eyes rolling back behind their lids.

"I'm sorry, baby..." he murmurs, his voice rough and breathy in the way you know means he's touching himself too. "Have you been waitin' for me this whole time?"

"Mm-hmm..."

"Such a good girl for me."

"Fuck..." you moan, pressing your forehead into the sheets. Switching the phone to speaker, you let your hand slip down between your thighs, breath catching in a squeak as you touch your clit. "Fuck, Husk... please..."

"Gonna make it up to you, baby," he promises, voice ragged. You can picture him, hand pumping at his cock, head back and a furrow between his brows. The way his chest moves staccato as he tries to keep his breathing steady, the way he thrusts into his hand. "Gonna reward you for bein' so patient..."

"H-how?"

"You're gonna cum for me," he tells you, all whiskey and smoke and raw, honeyed desire. "You're gonna cum so hard for me that you soak those sheets. So hard that I might jus' be able to hear you moan my name all the way down here, even without the phone."

"F-fuck, Husk..."

"Jus' like that, baby. You're gonna cum for me like a good girl," he continues, his voice breaking as he gets closer to his own release. "And the minute you do I'm gonna come up those stairs, an' while you're still layin' there in your own mess, twitchin' with tears in your eyes... 'm gonna come up there and taste you."

Moaning aloud, you quicken your hand against your clit, grinding down against the dildo as best you can. You can taste blood in your mouth when you bite your lip, so overstimulated that even the feeling of the sheets rubbing against your nipples with every disjointed bounce of your body over the toy does bring tears to your eyes. You can feel them staining your cheeks, joining the drool that drips from the corner of your mouth to mark the sheet beneath you.

"Husk... sir, please..."

"I want to taste every drop of you, sweetness," Husk almost growls, breaking off with a breathless haah for a moment as he tries to keep himself under control. He won't cum until you do. "I want to bury my tongue in that gorgeous, tight little cunt of yours and feel you fucking quake..."

"HUSK, I'm..."

"Cum for me, baby," he urges, and you can just hear the sound of his hand quickening against his cock under the tenor of his voice. "You're such a good girl, baby, c'mon..."

Your body curls in on itself so tightly as you cum that it hurts, your back arching and your thighs clenching around your hands. You feel your cum squirt out around the toy, drenching the sheets and your inner thighs, pooling around your knees. You collapse onto your side, body twitching with each aftershock, breath sharp and cutting around his name as you try to come down from the high.

Husk groans your name back in your ear as he cums too, gutteral and visceral and deep and it's enough to make your cunt tighten around the dildo again, cum still leaking out of you. It almost hurts to leave it in, but any move you make makes your whole body twitch and you're still trying to focus on breathing.

Husk chuckles breathlessly, brokenly in your ear as he relaxes, exhaling a shuddering breath that makes you shiver.

"Two minutes, baby." he tells you, a soft growl playing under his words. "You've got two minutes before I do exactly what I promised."

[serial-designation-jey]

ALRIGHT YOU GUYS ASKED FOR THIS!

MURDER DRONES INCORRECT QUOTES, 38 PAGES WORTH, THE SHIPS ARE NUZI, DIZZY AND OILROSE. THIS WAS MADE LIKE A WEEK AFTER EPISODE 6 RELEASED. BE PREPARED THIS WILL BE LONG.

**Thad:** We call that a traumatic experience. 

**Thad, turning to Uzi:** Not a "bruh moment". 

**Thad, turning to J:** Not "sadge". 

**Thad, turning to V:** And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

-

**Lizzy:** *lying down and crying* 

**V:** There, there. Why don’t you take some time off to not be around me while you’re like this?

-

**V:** Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation? 

**N:** All the time. 

**V:** Then you should be used to it by now.

-

**Uzi:** You need a hobby. 

**V:** I have a hobby! 

**Uzi:** Fawning over J isn’t a hobby.

-

**N:** How do you connect with a fictional character? 

**Thad:** What? 

**Doll:** что? (What?) 

**Lizzy:** What? 

**Uzi:** *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

-

**Doll:** Иногда я разговариваю сам с собой без причины. (Sometimes i talk to myself.)

**Doll:** Я тоже! (Me too!)

-

**Lizzy:** How do I tell Doll that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

-

**Doll:** Uzi просто сказал: «У меня есть тяга к разрушению», а затем они нагнулись и развязали мой ботинок. (Uzi just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.)

-

**Uzi:** I will send my army to attack! 

**Uzi:** *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

-

**J:** What kinds of sounds annoy you? 

**N:** Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones? 

**J, now interested:** Lets say imaginary. 

**N:** Spiders wearing flip-flops.

-

**Lizzy:** Ow! 

**Doll:** В чем дело? (What’s wrong?) 

**Lizzy:** I have this weird pain right behind my visor. 

**Doll:** Это называется стрессовая головная боль. Я получил свой первый, когда мне было четыре года. (It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.)

-

**N:** J, you’re mean!

**J:** What did you say? 

**N:** You heard me! 

**J, internally:** And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

-

**Thad:** Why are you two always out during snowstorms? 

**N:** It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of snow. 

**Uzi:** V bet me I couldn’t get struck by lightning, but she’s WRONG.

-

**Doll:** Так когда же мы им расскажем? (So when are we gonna tell them? )

**Lizzy:** Just give her a minute. 

**Uzi:** *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

-

**Lizzy:** Hey! Wanna hear a joke? 

**Doll:** Конечно. (Sure.) 

**Lizzy:** Your life! 

**Doll:** На самом деле моя жизнь — не шутка, шутки имеют смысл. (Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning.)

**Lizzy:** Doll, no.

-

**Tessa:** Keep it running. *Tosses keys over shoulder into empty parking lot.*

-

*The Squad cleaning up* 

**Thad:** Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. 

**Lizzy, to Uzi:** Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

-

**Doll:** Я не был настолько пьян от масла. (I wasn’t that drunk on oil.)

**Lizzy:** You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. 

**Doll:** ПОТОМУ ЧТО ВЫ ЕСТЬ! (BECAUSE YOU ARE!)

-

*When a child starts crying in public* 

**N:** *tries to make the child laugh* 

**Doll:** *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down* 

**Lizzy:** *gives [bad] detailed instructions to the parents* 

**Thad:** *cries with the child* 

**V:** *ignores the child* 

**Uzi:** *is the reason why the child is crying*

-

**Lizzy:** Why are we friends? 

**V:** Poor decisions on your part.

-

**Uzi:** So, are you two dating now? 

**J and V:** Yes. 

**Uzi:** Why? 

**J:** I happen to find V very appealing. 

**Uzi:** Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with V.

-

**Uzi:** When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “Woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why N made me get tested.

-

**J:** Is something burning? 

**V, leaning seductively on the counter:** Just my desire for you. 

**J:** V, the toaster is literally on fire.

-

**J**: When I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

**N**: What changed?

**J**: Now I know you’re a fake bitch.

-

**J, passing their phone to N:** I'm passing the phone to someone, who if I had to choose between hanging out with them and having my organs removed one by one, I’d choose the organs. 

**N, passing the phone back to J:** I'm passing the phone to my best friend!

-

**Uzi:** Two brooooos! 

**N:** Chillin' in a hot tub! 

**Uzi:** Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! 

**N:** 

**Uzi:** 

**N:** *tearing up* 

**Uzi:** Babe, c'mon... 

**N:** AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. 

**Uzi:** Babe...

-

**Uzi:** sapnu puaS. 

**Thad:** What?? 

**N:** What language is that? 

**Uzi:** Turn your phone 180 degrees. 

*Uzi was removed from the group chat*

-

**V:** At this point I have to confess… I started to feel a little bad for Doll. Maybe it was the fact that I had just outperformed them at their own game, or maybe it was that I held an obvious advantage over the poor bastard. Maybe it was just that unbearable to look into their eyes. Either way, I started to wonder if maybe this was a pointless endeavor after all. What was I doing to this person? What was I trying to prove? Was this really some grand, noble quest, to tear an overconfident fraud from their unearned throne? To show everyone that I was right. That Doll did not deserve to stand at that zenith, to lord over all their lowly competitors. Or… perhaps… was I really just doing this for myself? Beating an opponent within an inch of their life over and over and over again… all for my own petty ego. All to fill this emptiness inside of me. I asked myself, was Doll really the bad guy? Or was it me, all along? 

**V:** But then I remembered that Doll ain’t shit, and I got over it!

-

*Bullying Prevention Day at school* 

**Teacher:** Uzi, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again? 

**Uzi:** Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case— 

**Teacher:** To write something to your teacher? 

**Uzi:** —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My mom always said the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school! 

**Teacher:** *internal screaming*

-

**V:** This bloodline ends with me. 

**Uzi:** That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

-

**V:** How’s practice going? 

**Lizzy:** Terrible. I want to stab everybody there. 

**V:** Okay, just don’t get any oil on your clothes. 

**Lizzy:** …you shouldn’t be condoning this. 

**V:** Don’t tell me how to live my life.

-

**Uzi, singing:** I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— 

**Lizzy:** A mom. 

**J:** A better love life. 

**V:** Mental stability. 

**N:** *clueless* Bagels?

-

**Doll:** Люди всегда отвергают мои идеи, и мне это надоело. Два предложения, и все всегда кричат: «Какого черта? это незаконно!» и «Ты не можешь этого сделать!». Мол, давай, дай мне поговорить! (People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “What the fuck? That’s illegal!” and “You can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!)

-

**V:** How was your day, Lizzy? 

**Lizzy:** Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school. 

**V:** Oh? And what does that mean? 

**Lizzy:** It means I can't bully Uzi for a whole week.

-

**V:** J annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow. 

**Uzi:** There is nothing special about tomorrow. 

**V:** But there is something special about watching the color leave their eyes as panic takes over.

-

**Lizzy, to Doll:** You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand—

-

**Doll:** Не могу поверить, что в моем свидетельстве о рождении написано Ф… (I can’t believe my birth certificate says F... )

**Doll:** ...Как я не родился? (...How did I fail being born?)

-

**Uzi:** *About to do something incredibly stupid* 

**N:** I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

-

**Doll, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl:** Я убил парня, и мне это понравилось- (I killed a guy, and I liked it- )

**Lizzy, whispering:** Should we call the exorcist? 

**Uzi, also singing:** The taste of his cherry chapstick. 

**V, appalled:** Call the exorcist.

-

**Uzi:** Guys… the principal just called— 

**Rebecca:** It was Lizzy! 

**Lizzy:** It was Braiden! 

**Braiden:** It was Thad! 

**Thad:** It was me!

-

**Uzi:** I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time. 

**V:** *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

-

**J:** You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "Huh.." 

**V:** I saw you. 

**J:** Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Tessa in a turkey costume.

-

**N:** Remember! Curiosity killed the cat! 

**V:** Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Lizzy, go find out if that thing can catch fire! 

**N:** You're a bad influence. 

**V:** And you don't know your sayings.

-

**Uzi:** Is stabbing someone immoral? 

**Lizzy:** Not if they consent to it. 

**V:** Depends on who you’re stabbing. 

**N:** YES??!!?

-

**V:** The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

-

**Doll:** Хотите чего-нибудь выпить? (Would you like something to drink?) *They open the fridge* У нас есть вода, молоко, сок, тараканы, Доктор Пеппер- (We have water, milk, juice, cockroaches, Dr. Pepper-)

**Lizzy:** Cockroaches? 

**Doll:** Тараканы это тогда. (Cockroaches it is then.) 

**Lizzy:** No, that wasn’t- 

*But they were already pouring them a brimming glass of cockroaches*

-

**V:** How long do you think it'll take? 

**J:** I don’t know, three or four. 

**Uzi:** Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months? 

**V:** Yeah, maybe five. 

**Uzi:** Five what?!

-

*J Driving and taking V and N along for the ride* 

**N:** That's a pothole. To the left! 

**J:** Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole* 

**V, sticking their face into the front over the center console:** Cha Cha real smooth. 

**J:** I don't think that's how the song goes. 

**N, crying and gripping the handle:** Please just take me home. 

**J:** Country Roads. 

**V:** To the place. 

**J and V in unison:** I Belong! 

**N, crying harder:** What the fuck?

-

*J and V are in a mirror maze* 

**J, seeing V:** C'mon, you got it! Almost through! 

**V:** Oh! I see you! *runs straight into a mirror, shattering it* 

**J:** *Cries laughing*

-

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* 

**Lizzy:** I love me too.

**V:** Oh no. 

**N:** *cries* I love you too. 

**Uzi:** Sounds fake, but okay. 

**J:** *A flustered mess* 

**Thad:** Can I get a refund?

-

**V:** It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

-

**Doll:** Я думаю, мой ангел-хранитель пьет. (I think my guardian angel drinks.)

-

**Thad:** Hey, Lizzy? Can I get some dating advice? 

**Lizzy:** Just because I'm with Doll doesn't mean I know how I did it.

-

**N:** There is no i in happyness… 

**J:** There is if you fucking spell it right.

-

**Uzi:** We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at V’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!

-

**Lizzy:** Would you take a bullet for me? 

**Doll:** …да? (...yes?) 

*Uzi angrily bursts into the room* 

**Lizzy:** *running away* Great, thanks!

-

**N:** You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes. 

**V, stirring their coffee:** I prefer it with salt.

-

**Uzi:** Are you okay? 

**N, crying:** Yeah, it was just the onions. 

**Uzi:** *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to N?

-

**Thad:** Do you support gay rights? 

**Doll:** Я буквально гей. (I’m literally gay.) 

**Uzi:** They’re avoiding the question!

-

**N:** Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! 

**V:** Please, just say fuck.

-

**Lizzy:** Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie- 

**Thad:** Eyy, homie! 

**Uzi:** But then there's cootie... 

**J:** Die.

-

**Uzi:** Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses? Like if horses weren’t a thing, drones would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses. 

**V:** Elephants. 

**Uzi:** Blocked. 

**J:** Camels. 

**Uzi:** Extra blocked. 

**N:** Donkeys. 

**Uzi:** Ultra blocked. 

**Lizzy:** That dick. 

**Uzi:** ...Followed.

-

**N:** Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute drone but I'm not! 

**V:** N, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. 

**N:** It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! 

**J:** ...It was a bug. 

**N:** It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! 

**V:** ... 

**J:** ... 

**N:** Stop looking at me like that!

-

**Uzi:** I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. 

**J:** Aw... that's not true. 

**J:** It'd be exactly the same. 

**J:** You're not important.

-

**V, admiring a sleeping J:** You’re so cute. 

**J, sleepily:** I could beat your ass. 

**V, lovingly:** I know.

-

**Lizzy:** I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation. 

**Thad:** Yeah! We’re cowards!

**Lizzy**: Thad- no.

-

**V:** Stay foxy. 

**J:** Die lonely.

-

**Lizzy, filling out legal paperwork:** Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? 

**V:** Bold of you to assume I was born at all. 

**J:** I personally was created in a lab. 

**Uzi:** I just straight up spawned lol.

-

**V:** Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. 

**V:** Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

-

**Lizzy:** *Pulls a glass of water from out of nowhere* 

**Doll:** Где ты достала это? (Where did you get that?)

**Lizzy:** My pocket. 

**Doll:** Как держать стакан воды в кармане? (How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?)

**Lizzy:** Skills.

-

**Lizzy:** How are you today? 

**Doll:** Пожалуйста, не заставляй меня думать о своей жизни. (Please don’t make me think about my life.)

-

Here’s a bunch of shipping ones that I got:

-

**Uzi:** My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized. 

**N:** *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* 

**Uzi:** That one. I want that one.

-

**Uzi:** Hey, J, are you free on Friday? Like around eight? 

**J:** uh. Yeah. why.

**Uzi:** And you, V? 

**V:** Umm... yes? 

**Uzi:** Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date! 

**V:** Did she just-

-

**N:** Are you ready to commit? 

**Uzi:** Like a crime or a relationship?

-

**N:** Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid. 

**Uzi:** You always act stupid. 

**Uzi:** 

**Uzi:** Wait...

-

**J:** Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. 

**V:** Oh. We're going out? 

**J:** Wh...

-

**V:** I want to kiss you. 

**J, not paying attention:** What? 

**V:** I said if you die, I won't miss you.

-

**J:** Ugh, crushes are so dumb. 

**V:** I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting crazy. 

**J:** But you’re always acting crazy? 

**V:** ... 

**V:** Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

-

**Doll:** Кем ты хочешь быть на Хэллоуин? (What do you want to be for Halloween?)

**Lizzy:** Yours. 

**Doll:** …

**Doll:** …да, это было бы довольно страшно. (…yeah, that would be pretty scary.)

-

End of MAJOR shipping section

-

**Thad:** I was arrested for being too cool. 

**Lizzy:** The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

-

**J, when V walks in:** Oh, hey, I'm just storing oil. 

**J:** *“accidentally” smacks N in the face with a worker’s arm*

-

**N:** Anyone wanna play cards?

**J:**Sure, anyone have any poker chips?

**Uzi:** Plus four. 

**Thad:** Pikachu, I choose you

**V:** Go fish.

**N:** I meant rummy-

**Random worker drone:** It's gin rummy.

-

**Uzi:** We’ve got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without

**J:** N, probably.

-

**J:** I'm sorry please talk to me

**V:**

**J:** Hello? World’s most amazing drone? Sweet Pea? Company assigned partner?

**V:** Don't sweet pea me you stole my bubbles.

-

**J:** I'm not doing too well.

**V:** Are you okay?

**J:** I have this headache that comes and goes

**N:** *enters the room*

**J:** There it is again!

-

**J:** I CAN'T DO IT!

**V, laughing:** I CAN'T EITHER!

**J:** I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

**N:** WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

**J:**

**J:** I appreciate it,

**J:** BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

**Doll:** J-

**J:** YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

**Lizzy:** J we gotta-

**J:** YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

**J:** YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

**J, motioning to Uzi:** NOT FUCKING THIS

-

'Can I copy the homework?'

**N:** I can help you with it!

**Uzi:** Yeah, sure.

**V:** Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

**J:** lol nope.

**Lizzy:** We had homework?

**Doll:** *Read 5:55pm*

-

**J:** We need to distract these guys **V:** Leave it to me **V:** Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. **Thad, Uzi, and Lizzy:** *Immediately begin arguing* **N, watching in horror:** Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

-

**V:** Time for plan G. **J:** Don’t you mean plan B? **V:** No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. **Uzi:** What about plan D? **V:** Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. **N:** What about plan E? **V:** I’m hoping not to use it. J dies in plan E. **Uzi:** I like plan E.

-

**J:** If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. **N:** What if it bites me and it dies!? **V:** Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, N, learn to listen. **Uzi:** What if it bites itself and I die? **N:** That’s voodoo. **Lizzy:** What if it bites me and someone else dies? **J:** That’s correlation, not causation. **Uzi:** What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? **V:** That’s kinky. **J:** Oh my God.

-

OILROSE SECTION because im running out of ideas and i love them a lot

**J:** Here's some advice

**V:** I didn't ask for any

**J:** Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

-

**V:** *Stabs their leg with tail* FUCK!

**J:** Language!

**V:** What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

**J:**

**V:** You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

-

*J:* You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

**V, drinking toast:** Why do you say that?

-

**V:** So are we flirting right now?

**J:** I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU??

**V:** That doesn’t answer my question.

-

**V:** Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

**J:** You and me.

**V, tearing up:** Okay.

-

**V:** .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- (I’M SORRY)

**J:** What's that?

**V:** Remorse code.

**J:** I'm even angrier now.

-

**V:** Am I in trouble?

**J:** Take a guess.

**V:** No?

**J:** Take another guess.

-

**J, pointing:** May I sit there?

**V:** That's my lap

**J:** That doesn't answer my question, V.

-

**V:** English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

**J:** You need to stop.

-

**J:** *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

**V:** *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

-

**J:** I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

**V:** It’s not a joke.

**V:** *sniffles*

**V:** I’m a legit snack.

-

**J, addressing the squad:** And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

**V:** But – that’s just a trash can.

**J:** It sure is!

-

**J:** Remember when we didn't try to solve all our problems with attempted murder?

**V:** Stop romanticizing the past.

-

**V:** I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

**J:** I wake up at 4:30 AM

**V:**

**V:** I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

-

**J:** V...

**V:** Oh no, 'V' in b-flat.

**V:** You're disappointed.

-

**J:** petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday

**V:** Wednesay

**J:** Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

-

**V:** You love me, right, J?

**J:** Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

-

*J and V skipping stones on a (frozen) lake*

**J:** It’s such a nice night..

**V, whispering:** Take that you fucking lake

-

**J:** You're right.

**V:** That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

END OF OILROSE SECTION :’( it was getting a bit too long

-

**J:** Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

**N:** >:O language

**Lizzy:** Yeah watch your fucking language

**V:** OKAY WHO TAUGHT LIZZY THE FUCK WORD?

**Uzi:** 'The fuck word'.

**Thad:** Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

**Lizzy:** Oh my god they censored it

**Uzi:** Say fuck, Thad.

**Lizzy:** Do it, Thad. Say fuck.

-

**V:** Rules are made to be broken.

**N:** They were made to be followed.Nothing is made to be broken.

**Thad:** Uh, piñatas.

**J:** Glow sticks.

**Uzi:** Karate boards.

**Lizzy:** Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

**V:** Rules.

**N:**

-

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

**J:** I will not let you down.

**Thad:** Sounds fun.

**V:** K.

**Uzi:** No, I'm fucking not.

**Lizzy:** Do I have to be?

**N:** Please god, I am so tired.

-

**Lizzy:** What are you talking about N? You love it here! 

**N:** I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

-

**Lizzy:** See, the problem is, V, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D. 

**V:** I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.

-

**V:** I’m so tired. 

**Uzi:** Did you get to bed late? 

**V:** No. 

**Uzi:** Did you do something strenuous? 

**V:** No. 

**Uzi:** Then why are you tired? 

**V:** I’m alive. 

**Uzi:** Sounds exhausting.

-

**V:** You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch. 

**J:** What changed your mind? 

**V:** Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

-

**V:** Are you busy? 

**J:** Yes. 

**V:** Cool, listen to this...

Somebody stop me im decending into oilrose again

-

 *V recording whilst Lizzy and Uzi are arguing* 

**Lizzy:** HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO! 

**V:** *wheezes like a tea kettle* 

**J, pulling out a knife:** I'm gonna stab them both.

**Lizzy:** YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? 

**Uzi:** It's my favorite movi- 

**Lizzy:** SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, UZI! 

**Uzi:** I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y- 

**Lizzy:** GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

-

**J:** Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder. 

**J:** *glares at N* 

**N:** Well, sorry I have morals!

-

*The Squad's cooking skills* 

**Doll:** *master chef* 

**Lizzy:** *knows a few recipes* 

**Thad:** *can follow instructions on a box* 

**Uzi:** *made toast once* 

**N:** *banned from the kitchen*

-

**Lizzy:** Why are you on fire? 

**V:** This is just how my day is going.

-

*Lizzy and Thad are texting* 

**Lizzy:** Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone. 

**Thad:** What did they change my name to? 

**Lizzy:** Chosen One. 

**Thad:** Don’t change it back. 

**Lizzy:** BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?! 

**Thad:** I’m the chosen one.

-

**Lizzy:** In my defense, I was left unsupervised. 

**N:** Wasn’t V with you? 

**V:** In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

-

**Uzi:** Go to hell! 

**J:** Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.

**V, from far away:** Me too!

-

**Uzi:** Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

-

**Thad:** Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*

-

**J:** If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, V!

*Neither of them dies*

**V:** …

**J:** …

**V:** So do you wanna talk about somethi-

**J:** No thank you.

-

**V:** J! I thought you were dead! 

**J:** No, just in deep cover. 

**V:** ...But it was an open casket. 

**J:** It was very deep.

-

**J:** V, I love you and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? 

**Uzi, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that V is sitting atop:** Oh nothing much. 

**V:** I love you too :)

-

**Uzi:** Don’t mansplain this to me! 

**J:** Wh- I’m a woman! I can't mansplain anything to you! 

**Uzi:** …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!

-

**Lizzy:** Who the fuck- 

**N:** Language! 

**Lizzy:** Whom the fuck- 

**N:** No.

-

**Uzi:** Is J always like this when she loses? 

**V:** Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of (year). 

**J:** YOU BUMPED THAT TABLE AND WE ALL KNOW IT.

-

**N, in a high voice, holding Barbie:** Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! 

**Uzi, in a deep voice, holding Ken:** Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. 

**V:** What the fuck are you guys doing? 

**Uzi:** Playing systemic oppression.

-

**J:** Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! 

**V:** The mouth of a jellyfish is also an an*s. 

**J:** Stop.

-

**Lizzy:** ARE YOU- 

**Uzi:** Fucking. 

**Lizzy:** KIDDING ME?! YOU- 

**Uzi:** Fucking. 

**Lizzy:** IDIOT! 

**Thad:** …What was that? 

**Uzi:** V banned Lizzy from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

-

**Uzi:** I hate you with every inch of my body! 

**J:** That’s not a lot of inches.

-

**Lizzy:** You think you're smarter than everyone else. 

**J:** I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

-

**V:** I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows. 

**Uzi:** I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

-

**Tessa:** Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you had us tied here for- what? Hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are! 

**Cyn:** What are you then? 

**Tessa:** I'm a Virgo! -fucking dies-

-

**Lizzy:** She's the girl of my dreams! 

**Thad:** You say every girl is the girl of your dreams. 

**Lizzy:** I have a lot of dreams.

-

**J:** Why am I the bad guy? 

**V:** I don't know, why am I the hot one? We all have our thing.

-

**N:** Do you always have to attack me with your words? 

**J:** Would you prefer me to use a brick?

-

**Thad:** Happy Scorpio season. If you have to burn a bridge, do it safely! 

**J:** With NAPALM.

-

**J:** Hey, wanna go hunt with me? 

**V:** You have a gun in your hand. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

-

**J:** The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. 

**J:** I will not yield.

-

**Thad:** What’s it like being tall? 

**Uzi:** Is it nice? 

**Lizzy:** Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? 

**N:** We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

-

**V, trying to comfort J:** What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

-

**V:** I want to be like a caterpillar. 

**Uzi:** Explain. 

**V:** Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. 

**N:** You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? 

**V:** 

**J:** That's just another highlight!

-

**Doll:** Выйди из моей комнаты (Get out of my room)

**V, standing in the doorway:** I’m not in your room.

-

**J:** You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight. 

**V, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced oil:** Sucks to be you.

-

**J:** I don't know, it's not my cup of oil. 

**V:** Well then whose is it? 

**J, staring at a cup of oil:** I don't know!

-

**Doll:** Бро, мне приснилось, что мы поцеловал. (Bro, I had a dream we kissed.) 

**Lizzy:** Bro, relax it was just a dream. 

**Doll:** Ха, гей, я бы тебя не целовать. (Huh, gay, I wouldn’t kiss you.)

**Lizzy:** You wouldn’t? 

**Doll:** Я имею в виду, если ты не хочешь… (I mean, unless you want to-)

-

**Uzi:** This can’t get any worse. Can it? 

**J:** Sure it can - just give me a minute.

-

**Uzi:** Ew. What kind of tea is this? 

**J:** I boiled oil.

-

**V:** Guys, my friend here is bilingual. 

**J:** Yes. 

**V:** Which means they like both boys and girls. 

**J:** Ye- wait, what- 

**Uzi:** V, that's not what bilingual means- 

**V:** Shhh, it's okay J. I still love you, girl. 

**N and Uzi:** ... 

**V:** Full homo.

-

**Thad:** Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend? 

**Lizzy:** Generic excuse. 

**Thad:** I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face. 

**Lizzy:** I can.

-

**N:** Aren’t you going to say “have a nice day?” 

**J:** I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

-

**V:** Truth or dare? 

**Lizzy:** Dare. 

**V:** I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room. 

**Lizzy:** Hey Uzi? 

**Uzi:** Yeah? 

**Lizzy:** Can you move? I'm trying to get to Doll.

-

OILROSE SECTION (again) im running out of ideas and i love them a lot

**J:** Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. 

**V:** Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

-

**V:** Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. 

**J:** Okay. 

**V:** And make out during the scary parts. 

**J:** Th- 

**J:** The scary parts. 

 **J:** Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

-

**V:** I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it. 

**J:** What- how? 

**V:** You’d be like “come with me to hunt… Mrs. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

-

**J:** *angrily presses V against a wall* WHERE'S MY JCJENSON PENS?! 

**V:** ... 

**V:** Are we about to kiss-

-

**J:** Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, V! 

**V:** You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

-

**V:** I love you. 

**J, not paying attention:** What was that? 

**V:** I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

-

**V:** You look good in that hoodie. 

**J:** You know where else I'd look good? 

**V, zero hesitation, without thinking:** My bed. 

**J, at the same time:** By your side- wait, what?

-

**V, throwing their head into J's lap:** Tell me I'm pretty! 

**J, lovingly stroking their hair:** You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

-

**J:** Do you love me? 

**V:** We’re literally married. 

**J:** Yeah, but as friends or—

-

**J:** That was so hot, V. 

**V:** I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. 

**J:** I'm so in love with you.

-

**V:** You got a date yet J? 

**J:** No... 

**V:** Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

-

**V:** *seductively takes off glasses* 

**V:** Wow... 

**J:** *blushes* Haha... what? 

**V:** You're really fucking blurry.

-

**J:** Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your girlfriend? 

**V:** Dude- Its satire! 

**J:** THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

-

**V:** Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? 

**J:** Peonies, why? 

**V:** 

**J:** Were you going to get me flowers? 

**V:** 

**J:** 

**V:** ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

-

**J:** BE A BETTER PERSON! 

**V:** WHY?! 

**J:** BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

-

**V, to J:** We had a date! 

**V:** *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

-

**V arguing with J:** HOW DO I LOVE YOU?

**J:** NO BUT YOU HA-... you- love me?

-

**J:** Goodnight to the love of my life, V, and fuck the rest of y'all.

-

**V:** If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

END OF OILROSE SECTION :’( it was getting a bit too long

**N:** If you got arrested what would be the charges? 

**Lizzy:** Theft. 

**Thad:** Disturbing the peace. 

**Uzi:** Aggravated assault. 

**J:** Arson. 

**V:** All of the above. In that order, probably.

-

**V:** I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

-

*V and J playing Minecraft* 

**V:** Oh no, oh no, oh no- 

**J:** What’s wrong? 

**V:** I did a thing. 

**J:** *You regret the thing you dID-* 

**V:** *screams* 

**J:** What the fuck did you do- *sees mass of aggravated Piglin* Damn it- 

**V:** *screams again*

-

**J:** If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

-

**Lizzy:** Ooh, I like your accent, where you from? 

**Random Drone:** I am Liberian. 

**Lizzy:** Oh, my bad. 

**Lizzy, whispering:** I like your accent, where you from?

-

**V:** Pfft, you should meet J, they're such a tsundere. 

**Lizzy:** They... they just stabbed you. 

**V:** So cute.

-

**N:** I think Uzi is in trouble. 

**V:** Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

-

**V:** I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the oil in my body is gone and I die from overheating. 

**N:** Are you okay? 

**J:** Did you actually just ask them that?  Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?

-

*in a group chat* 

**V:** First one to reply is gat. 

**V:** *gay 

**V:** Wait...

-

**V, day-dreaming:** When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

-

**N:** You don't know anything about me! 

**J:** I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

-

**V:** *casually taking four stairs at a time* 

**Uzi, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time:** Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

-

**Doll:** Эй, Лиззи, я нашел паука. Крутой пацан. Спасибо, что ели комаров. (Hey Lizzy, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.)

**Doll:** О нет, куда это пропало? (Oh no, where did it go?)

**Lizzy:** DOLL WHAT THE FUCK?!

-

**V:** If you kill me, my teeth only have a 2% drop rate. 

**J:** What? 

**V:** Good luck.

-

**J:** Stressed. 

**V:** Depressed. 

**Uzi:** Possessed. 

**Doll:** Одержимый. (Obsessed.)

**Thad:** Impressed. 

**N:** Chicken breast. 

**Everyone:** ...What? 

**N:** I just wanted to join in.

-

**Uzi:** Do you take constructive criticism? 

**J:** No, only cash or credit.

-

**N:** So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? 

**V:** We're chopsticks! 

**N:** Well... that's cute! 

**N:** Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly? 

**J:** No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

-

**N:** My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco. 

**Thad:** My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy. 

**Uzi:** My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance. 

**Lizzy:** My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

-

**Uzi:** What's wrong with you? 

**J:** Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

-

**Uzi:** Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? 

**V:** Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. 

**N:** It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. 

**J:** Rock also defeats baby.

-

**Doll:** Я от природы смешной, потому что моя жизнь — это шутка. (I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.)

-

**J, making coffee:** This is going to fix everything.

-

**V:** You know, Uzi, you are the sun in my life. 

**Uzi:** Why? Cause I'm smoking hot? 

**V:** Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

-

**V:** I’m never donating oil ever again. 

**V:** The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! 

**V:** ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?

-

**Tessa:** If we lose, you’re out of the will. 

**V:** I was in the will?

-

**V:** How does one turn their emotions off? 

**Uzi:** Okay, so first go to settings. 

**Uzi:** I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first. 

**V:** No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

-

**Lizzy:** Okay, two person huddle. 

**Doll:** Невозможно ютиться вдвоём. Это просто объятия. (You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.)

-

**V:** Bye J! Bye Uzi! Bye Lizzy! Bye N! Bye J! 

**Uzi:** You said ‘bye J’ twice. 

**V:** I like J.

-

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword* 

**V:** Rude. 

**J:** That's fair. 

**Uzi:** Not again. 

**Lizzy:** Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

-

**V:** Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.

-

**V:** I'm so tough, I'm on alert even when there's no danger!

**J:** V, that's PTSD.

-

**V:** Well please don’t let J do anything stupid… 

**Uzi:** Stupid by my standards or yours? 

**V:** 

**V:** Stupid by my mother’s standards. 

**Uzi:** Smart. J will live longer.

-

**J:** There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

-

**V:** I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

-

*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting* 

**V:** *walks in and sits on J’s lap* 

**The Squad:** … 

**N:** Why are you sitting there? 

**V:** There were no free seats

**Uzi:** But we made sure there was enough room for- 

**J:** *hugs V tightly* There are no free seats.

-

**V, trying to impress J:** I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture. 

**N:** They turned it off and back on again!

-

**J:** Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up! 

**J:** Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

-

**Lizzy:** Truth or dare? 

**V:** Truth! 

**Lizzy:** Do you- 

**J:** I dare you to kiss me. 

**V:** *kisses J* 

**Lizzy, to Uzi:** They said “truth”, right?

-

Squad reactions to being called straight: 

**V:** The fuck, no I'm not. 

**J:** Excuse the hell out of you? 

**Lizzy:** Ding dong, you are wrong! 

**Thad:** Who told you that? And why did they lie? For i am bi.

**N:** What? 

**Doll:** *punches the person*

-

**Uzi:** At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent. 

**N:** My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

-

**Doll:** You’re a horrible person! 

**V:** Maybe. But I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter.

-

**N:** Don't go to the pod. 

**V:** Why? 

**N:** I saw a spider. 

**V:** Well, did you kill it? 

**N:** It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...

-

**V:** My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.

-

[mingiswow]

Christmas in august | Lee Sangyeon

Pairing: Sangyeonx fem!reader

Words: ~3k

Genre: smut MDNI, pwp, fluff

Content Warning: smut obv, mentions of people using the boys for clout and fame, mentions of alcohol, not proofread, ig that’s all lol

Smut warning: fingering (f receiving), nipple play, piv, unprotected sex (don’t do that… fr), semi-public sex, slightly exhibitionism, choking, little spanking, Sangyeon is a little asshole but just for a little

⚠ If you’re under the age of 18 and/or don’t feel comfortable reading that type of content, I have a lot of other content here.

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there’s any mistake. And you can always tell me what’s wrong.

A/n: I am deceased. The first concept photos for the boyz’s photobook got my imagination running wild. Sangyeon is my bias and his back picture??? Oof 🥵🥵 anyways hope you enjoy my little Sangyeon mind rot

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You were doomed. For real.

You promised your friend you’d behave. You promised her that you wouldn’t get yourself involved in trouble or would fight with anyone at the party - her knowing that you don’t get along with some of her boyfriend’s friends’ girlfriends. It’s not your fault that some of them are as fake as your nails and were dating them for money and fame.

“I don’t care if they are or not social alpinists, yn” your friend, Minji, said. “They are still the boys’ girlfriends”

“So you agree they are social alpinists” she rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it.

She said all the things you shouldn’t do. Which you were not doing. But she never mentioned not eye-fucking Sangyeon.

Ever since Minji introduced you to Sunwoo you became as best friends as you and her, he was funny, loud, sometimes obnoxious, just like you and your friend. And it wasn’t long until he introduced you to his friends. Sangyeon caught your eye immediately. He was 100% your type. He was gorgeous, taller than you, funny, had the sweetest smile, and even sweeter eyes. Not to mention his ridiculously gorgeous body and that nose that you couldn’t stop but imagine how it would feel in between your legs if he ate you out. In your loneliest nights you’d touch yourself thinking about riding his face, his nose buried in your lower lips and strong arms holding you in place.

“yn? yn, are you listening to me?” Eric punched lightly your arm as you disassociated looking at the distance with the thought of Sangyeon naked upper body wet as he played in the pool.

“Uh? What?” you turned to him, eyes blinking. “Yeah, yeah, I’m here, sorry”

“You don’t seem very much here, babes” he laughed at you and you blushed, wishing none of them saw you stripping the older one naked with your eyes.

You excused yourself from the conversation and disappeared inside the house, going for the bathroom.

You closed the door behind you and took a deep breath in, exhaling with a huff. What were you thinking? Sangeyon had a girlfriend. They haven’t been dating for long but they liked each other. She would be here at any minute and if she saw the way you looked at her boyfriend, she’d kill you. It didn’t help that she already didn’t like you very much. Not that the other girlfriends liked you or your friend that much, but she almost despised you, it was almost as if she could smell your pussy throbbing every time you saw Sangyeon.

You splashed some cold water on your face, trying to wash away the dirty thoughts, and put some cold water on your neck and wrists, wishing to calm down your beating heart and rushing pulsing.

There was a knock on the door, waking you back from reality. Another deep breath was taken before opening the door. But on the other side was the last person you wanted to see.

“Oh, sorry, yn, did I interrupt you?” he asked, that sweet smile on his face and all you wanted was to punch it away.

“Oh, no, don’t worry, I finished already” you gave a half smile and tried to leave but he blocked your passage.

“Is everything okay? You seem unwell” you nodded, trying to focus your eyes on the skin between his brows, not on his luscious soft lips or his pale built chest waiting to be marked with your freshly done nails. “Are you sure? You seem pale” he took two steps closer, the back of his hand touching your forehead.

You took a step back, a little caught off guard by his sudden behavior. He took another step closer, his other hands holding your barely covered waist so you’d stay in place. Your skin felt like it was burning where he touched it. You knew he was just being careful, kind, like the leader he is, he was treating you like he treats the boys. You were one of the boys to him. Right?

His hand that was on your forehead touched your cheeks, neck and lowered to the place right in the middle of your chest, where your heart was pounding like it wanted to leave your body. And you wished it did so he wouldn’t notice.

“Oh my god, yn, your heart is beating so fast? Are you sure you’re okay?” you nodded.

“I-I am. Don’t worry” your voice was a whisper. You felt so stupid in front of him.

“Are you nervous? You seem nervous, yn?” he smirked and you felt your knees go weak, thanking for a brief moment the way he held you. “Am I the one making you nervous, yn?” You blinked at his statement. Yes, he was the reason but you thought he didn’t even notice.

You barely saw it happening from how fast it did. He pushed you back inside the bathroom and closed the door behind you two, locking it. His body was now flushed against yours, chest to chest, your thin beach dress doing nothing to separate the heat of your bodies.

He gave a chuckle seeing how nervous and flushed you got, cheeks burning with embarrassment. You thanked god he couldn’t see the state your bikini bottoms probably were.

“It’s so cute how you think I didn’t see the way you’ve been looking at me the whole afternoon. The whole time we’ve known each other actually” his smirk never leaving his lips and you gulped, so you weren’t so slick after all. “Oh princess, you think I’d be dumb enough not to notice?” you felt your walls clench on nothing when he called you princess. “But you wanna know how I noticed?” he asked and lowered his face to your neck, his lips ghosting over your heated skin, the small hairs prickling and shivering. His tongue suddenly licked a stripe from bottom to top, reaching your ear so he could whisper “Because I was looking at you too”, your breath caught in your throat as he bit your earlobe, legs giving up on holding your weight.

He chuckled, satisfied with his effect on your body with the bare minimum. His hands squeezed the plush skin on your waist and pushed you against the sink, sandwiching you against the hard cold marble and his hard warm body. You could already feel something as hard as his muscles poking your stomach through the thin material of his swim shorts.

Sangyeon slowly raised his hands from your waist to your face, holding it in place so you had nowhere else to look but his face. Your lips were parted, breathing difficult just by your nose. You were giving in to him so easily. Mind completely blank from anything else, every corner, every crease of your brain filled with him.

It was like you were floating, laid down in the softness of the clouds when his lips finally met yours. His plush and hot ones pressed hard against yours. Your eyes were shut tightly, afraid it was just a trick of your own mind, a dream. Another one of those delicious, dirty wet dreams you had with him. The man started to move his mouth and you lost it, lost every little bit of shame or what else you could feel besides need, hands circling his neck and kissing him back. Mouths moving aggressively, teeth clashing and tongues fighting. It was even better than you had imagined. The way his mouth moved hungrily against yours, as if this was his last opportunity, his last chance with you.

Due to air missing from both of your lungs, you cut the kiss, but his mouth didn’t stop, the muscles went right to your neck, kissing it delicately, careful not to mark you and give away what you were doing.

Your mind finally went back to place and you realized what you were doing. You pushed him away, conscience heaving.

“I- we can’t… please stop” you tried to leave the bathroom but he held you against the door. “Sangyeon…” you whined, trying to leave his hold.

“We broke up” you stopped in your tracks. He knew exactly what your problem was.

“What?” You asked more for yourself than to him. He chuckled and shook his head.

“Do you really think I’d do this with you if I still had a girlfriend? You think that lowly of me?”

“No! I mean no…” you blushed. “I… I couldn’t know. I… I’m sorry” you lowered your head.

He grabbed your chin between his fingers and raised your face to look at him, gently putting your hair away from your face.

“It’s okay, I should have said it” you smiled and nodded. “So… now that we’ve established that I’m single… can we…” you giggled at his sudden cuteness but nonetheless kissed him again, cutting his sentence.

He used the opportunity to lock the door behind you, and lowered himself a little so he could grab the back of your thighs and put you on top of the cold marble sink.

“Even tho’ I really wish I could listen to you scream my name,” he said against your mouth, changing his position to your ears so he could whisper, “the sweet little moans and whimpers that I bet you have are just for me, darling. No one can listen” you nodded, biting your lower lip instinctively to hold any sound. “I’ve been dying to have you on my sheets since day one, yn” your hands on his back stopped as he moved to look into your eyes again. “I know this is not the perfect first time for ourselves but I’ll make sure to compensate you another day” you smiled and held his face between your hands, just like he had done before.

“I don’t care about perfect, Sangyeon, all I need right now is for you to fuck me because it’s starting to get too hot in here” he chuckled and went back to devouring your lips.

He moved one of his hands between your bodies and started to touch your vulva through the fabric of your bikini. The material was starting to look darker in the spot where your wetness was being held. You held a low whine when he pressed two fingers against your clit, kiss never being broken with his actions. His same fingers moved the fabric to the side, the tip of the digits sliding up and down in your slick coated pussy.

“Fuck, Princess you’re so wet” you nodded, enjoying little movements he did on you. “Did I get you this wet?” You nodded feverishly again, holding a deeper whine when the tip of his middle finger poked your entrance.

He moved a little away from your body just to help you get out of your bikini set and dress, leaving you bare in front of him. You shivered with the way the cold air hit your nipples and your hot wet pussy. But you barely got time to feel anything else because Sangyeon attacked your nipples with his lips and I sorted his middle finger inside you without any difficulty.

Your back was thrown back and your back arched forward his face as he kept his assault on you. It was borderline impossible to keep quiet but you tried your best, not wanting anyone to discover the nasty things you two were doing in the bathroom.

His mouth was skillful in your nipple, biting, licking, pulling. It all felt so good especially when paired with the way his long finger was hitting your cervix just right.

“M… more” you managed to whisper, mouth hanging open after with mute moans leaving your lips that formed an O shape.

The man was feeling generous that day, not only because you guys didn’t have much time to play and tease but because he waited for so long to fuck that he felt like he could burst inside his shorts just by your sight alone. So without any remark, he pushed two more fingers inside your hole, earning a tiny high moan that left your throat before you closed your mouth to be careful.

His attacks on your nipples started to get more slow and chaste in comparison to how fast his three fingers were listening inside you. The spongy spot just right behind your clit being hit every time he’d curl his fingers and without a warning, you came around his digits. Fluids leaking from how wet you were, creaming his fingers and hand.

Without any shame in his face, he moved his hand from in between your legs and licked his hands clean, licking and swallowing every drop of your essence. The scene was dirty, nasty, almost perverted, but it turned you on in ways you couldn’t even imagine it would. You pulled him by his neck and kissed his lips, tasting yourself in his tongue. If Sangyeon was already head over heels for you, that was the moment he thought he wanted to marry you.

After breaking the kiss up, he took his shorts and underwear down his legs and you could see his rock hard dick, the length pulsing and the girth veiny, red and angry demanding to stretch you out from the insides. Your hands pumped his length a little, feeling how he was reacting to your touched, low hisses coming from his lips as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the small touch.

He finally aligned his tip to your hole and slowly entered you, raw, burning. You bit your lip hard trying to suppress a moan, the metallic taste of bliss invading your lips from how hard you were biting. Your perfectly manicured nails, done just for this event, pressed hard against his big built shoulders, the muscles tensing with the action he was making and from the way you were leaving your marks.

He didn’t care anymore. He was far gone. Both of you were. His dick thick inside you, stretching you like his life depended on it, not giving you time to think with the way he was fucking you. Fast, hard, delicious. Your mind was blank and all you wanted was to cum again. Your walls pulsing around his hot hard cock.

You were almost close when he stopped fucking you, leaving you empty just to turn you around and bend you with your chest on top of the sink. Your nipples hardening with the sudden contact with the still cold marble. He gave you a good couple of spanks in each one of your ass cheeks and entered you again. The new angle hitting you just right, the knot in your stomach starting to tighten again, your orgasm approaching.

Then a sudden knock on the door caught your breath, hand going to cover your mouth so any noise wouldn’t come out.

“Sangyeon? Are you there?” It was Sunwoo. “Have you seen yn?” Your eyes widened when Sangyeon didn’t stop.

He had other plans. That little asshole. He grabbed both your arms behind your back and pulled you flushed against his chest, one of his hands holding you pressed tight against him and the other one around your neck. You opened your mouth and thanked when no sound came out. The tip of fingers pressing your pulse points on the sides of your neck, head going dizzy in the most delicious way.

His hips slowed their speed otherwise the skin slapping sound would be too loud.

“Yeah, it’s me” he answered the younger boy, hips never stilling. “No, I haven’t seen her. She probably went out to grab more alcohol, no?” He answered so easily, so simply, like his cock wasn’t buried deep inside someone’s pussy. Your pussy.

“I don’t think so but I’ll keep searching, Minji is worried”

“Don’t worry, she didn’t go far, when I finish here I’ll look for her too” he gave a slow deep thrust and you came undone around his cock, legs wobbly and the only thing holding you was the fact you were pressed between him and the sink.

“Thanks man, appreciate” the younger one left and you heard the steps getting further away.

“Such a good dirty girl for me” he kissed your neck before pulling his dick out and coming on your back. The thick white ropes painting your skin.

You slowly regained your breath as he cleaned you and him from any remains of your actions. Sangyeon helped you dress up again, careful not to hurt you. Like he wasn’t balls deep you just minutes ago.

“Just so you know, I don’t want this to be a one time thing” he said to you after making sure you were okay and had regained (at least a little) of your leg strength. “I never wanted” you nodded, a smile on your lips.

“I don’t want it to be a one time thing either” you booped his nose, earning a sweet giggle from the boy. “To be honest, I’ve been into you for a while, but I was too scared to make a move and then you started dating so I didn’t want to be a homewrecker” he hugged your lower back, bringing you close to him and kissing your lips, just a simple sweet peck on your lips.

“Don’t worry, she was a homewrecker first. Long story, I don't want to talk about” you nodded and gave him another peck. “But I still want to take you on a nice date and get to know you better”

“More than you just got to know?” It was Minji’s voice behind the door and you could see her eyes rolling. “You guys ain’t slick at all. You got me worried you little pieces of shit” you heard laughs from the other side indicating she wasn’t alone. “Now leave this bathroom and stop sneaking around”

“Yes, ma’am” Sangyeon answered and you chuckled at how red his face got. Again the step got further from the bathroom. “I think we are in trouble”

“No, we’re not, she’s just acting though” you said, opening the door, holding his hand in yours and feeling a warm feeling take your whole body. “Now let’s go before they come hunting us”.

All eyes were on you two after you went downstairs, some smirks from the boys and jealous looks from the girls. But you couldn’t care less. Your best friend came running to you, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the kitchen.

“Now tell me EVERYTHING” you giggled at her sparkly eyes. Yeah, she was definitely just acting though.

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Masterlist | feedback and requests

[mikodrawnnarratives]

I just remembered a project I worked on for a while in like 2021 (maybe 2020) and it had a LOT of akumatized marinette's

That was the idea behind the whole thing but man I did one by one and found some of the most obscure akumatized marinette au's

Sooooo I'm dragging these drawings up from the ashes and maybe it'll be a nice surprise for some of y'all to see

yall got ✨fanart✨

and possibly reminded of miraculous ladybug HA

usually these were done on different canvas's (that were like 250x250) and then just... copied onto a larger canvas??? Mistakes were made and I was insane

A handful of these akumanette's were actually made by me cause apparently... roughly 18 other marinette's wasn't enough

Click for quality and this is a long post

First of all, shoutouts to my own akuma abominations creations.

First image, the ladybug with the red long hair? yeah the idea was the akuma bug seen in canon in like, s2 (also shown next to her) but updated for the new look in s4. Vry original we'll give it a 6/10

I don't remember too much for the middle one that is slightly dimmer. Though I do remember that was the kind of IDEA behind her. She's also holding a knife cause of course. Why have magical powers to kill people when you can harness the power of K N I F E 7/10

I remember a little more about the jester marinette in the back. She had a whole thing with medieval research, jester research, and she also wanted to stab Lila cause everyone wanted to stab lila at the time. 9/10 cause I had a fun time with her

Then the robinhood poster mari was a robin hood akuma mari. 3/10 not original

NEXT

Slightly canon to downright canon

Ladyblanc was a popular akumanette idea so slightly canon, I didn't base it off of anyone's au

Ladybug and Marinette are there because what's the fun of a crossover if the og doesn't get to panic along with the rest of them????

Last image, not talking about persecuter, we'll get to her in a bit. I just thought it would be funny at the time if I included Chloe and Antibug cause... haha

Antibug is kinda an akumatized lb rip off soooo

OTHER'S AU'S

what you've been waiting for

Thank god I kept track of credit (pats past me on the back)

First of all, at the very front we got @zoe-oneesama 's devil au that made an updated appearance in her scarlet lady au, love to see it

You'll also notice little devil bug on lb's knee in the sketch

Alopeka is to the left of Devil au, by @piearsonist

hi betcha you never would have guessed you got FANARTED HA

This is a post that explains that akumatized marinette, and you'll find more if you go to her page

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND

Princess justice at the right by @kibouwmlb (also, hello hi, surprise) and honestly it is SUCH a pretty design OMYWORD I love the watercolors

Twiddling her thumbs, minding her business. Remember the release of Descendants 3? Yeah, Queen of Mean baby. And MORE by @shiinaeu hi you are a legend to me

This was so fun to draw at the time and I was experimenting in ways I hadn't before. Peak youtube miraculous ladybug fixation meeting art interest. First one of the characters I did fun fact

@edendaphne betcha you didn't expect fanart of that one scorpion akumanette well THINK AGAIN (also, crazy that this was around when I did your dtiys I just realized, huh)

ANd then slightly more obscure, though the post does have 173 ish notes so, is @skullqueensart 's akumanette right here

Why does akumanette have sunken cheeks here? I have no clue honestly. Take it up with me from 3 years ago and maybe you'll get answers who knows. She's also just... chilling. Looking at nothing. Into the abyss.

Not now chloe's, we are discussing persecutor now.

Love the story idea honestly and the akuma design is so god tier AKUMA that oof @yiprincessart I love it

Oh uh, and chloe will be fine

:)

CAN👏I👏 TALK👏 ABOUT👏 HER

She is the moment, she is beauty, she is grace

@artist-from-outersp-ace I love her. She looks so SO pretty!! At the time I loved your artstyle and I still do!! Too bad at the time I didn't know that Tumblr works by reblogging. I will be amending that.

I also remember being SO frustrated when drawing her that I didn't get a timelapse saved in time to show the drawing process :(

But I did love figuring out folds in the dress and the coloring process! Figuring out how to replicate elements in your art!

srs guys. Look at the RUFFLES

Alright, we are all agreeing to be accomplices and bystanders to Akuma jester marinette's NOT MURDER murder of Lila in the background? Okay good.

@lunian I have fanart for you~

And when I tell you I struggled with her design, I STRUGGLED. I ended up satisfied in the end but the curls bro, we lost the curls

But I do love her concepts and powers and I did back then too

And next to her, Okay, I never fully finished, mostly because I couldn't figure out how to get the hand to work with the tray balance thingie

@ladybub made this Lady Justice design and I WILL BE THERE when the comic updates. Or... if they aren't able to continue the comic that's also fine too <3 Life happens

Still love this au and the unique way for Marinette to get akumatized! Me and my sister bonded over our love over it!

I think this might be the first akumanette that isn't on tumblr to my knowledge. They are on Instagram tho @stivenwithani

Anyway I really liked the concept and the design just, reeked, of akuma that I included her

Okay more that I didn't really finish

We got another Princess/Lady Justice akuma idea at the left. Which I never kept track of the credit DANG IT I WAS DOING SO WELL

I'll update if I find the credit but man the OG did really well with the art.

And I have this akumanette comforting Lacrima from... a very graphic and whump fanfic Longest Night, read the tags

Anyway, Lacrima needs all the love she can get (also, funny enough, is the oldest out of this "gathering" of akumanette's)

It's not finished but hey @p-artsypants I gave angst ridden Lady Lacrima friends and fanart so.... yay...

AND THEN THE LAST ONE

was victim to so much reposting I could never find credit for it- UNTIL NOW

but the artist unfortunately deactivated their blog so that explains why I couldn't find their username all that time ago

It was a cool idea and I always love when creators take inspiration from how similar Marinette's name is to another word for a kind of puppet "Marionette"

But before I forget, I'll end this post on one of my akumanette's that I tried to squeeze in but never got to. But I did make more art for and I remember the story!

I remember having a background planned but I never really got around to it. Basically the story was that marinette got akumatized but managed to take off her earrings in time. I think the reason for her akumatization was connected to figuring out the secrets that Emilie had been hiding with the peacock miraculous (BEFORE we knew that adrien was a sentimonster).

Tikki had to bring the earrings to Chat Noir and he had to find someone that looked ENOUGH like Ladybug that Hawkmoth wouldn't notice as much that Ladybug wasn't actually there. Enter Mireille cause at the time a few people were pointing out how similar she looked to the dupain chengs.

Akumanette's powers had something to do with casting depression? I think? In the form of dragons? Oh, Also she travels by walking on the dragons so thats cool

I don't remember everything but I did have a lot planned for her.

10/10 just because I had a fun time with her